NOSTALGIA - 17th Muralla Literary Portfolio

NOSTALGIA 17th Muralla Literary Portfolio Philippine Copyright 2020

by THE LANCE The Official Student Publication of Colegio de San Juan de Letran ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information, storage, and retrieval system, without written permission of the authors, except where permitted by law.

For more information, email: thelance@letran.edu.ph Or visit The LANCE Office at Third Floor, Student Center Building, Colegio de San Juan de Letran, 151 Muralla Street, Intramuros, Manila COVER DESIGN BY ELDRICK NOLASCO

Photo from Davy Chioa via Flickr

17th Muralla Literary Portfolio

PHOTO BY JOHN TEWELL VIA FLICKR

PHOTO BY JOHN TEWELL VIA FLICKR

FOREWORD ‘Orgullosos de ti y de tu historia” - One cannot celebrate the present without giving premium to the past—the bygones, the memories, and the narratives—all which served as a foundation as we reach the pinnacle of today. Looking back comes with a sense of wistfulness in delving into significant moments from years, months, or even days ago.

Standing 400 strong years, Colegio de San Juan de Letran became a haven for innumerable stories of both challenges and victories. While some are better dead and buried, many of our shared histories are worthy to live on through words of our vicissitudes, which molded the world as it is. Through these, we carry on the torch of light and knowledge to layout a newfound hope.

Meilinda Marie Malacat

Features Editor

PREFACE From where we were to where we are right now lies a plethora of moments that has elicited a maelstrom of emotions from us, allowing our lives to be more than just a linear experience.

The joys and pains in our existential pursuit provide depth and dimension to us, which at times – if not most of – give us a perspective that maybe meaning and purpose can be found.

Someday. One day.

In all those moments in the in-between, we are constantly given space – regardless if we consider them random or predestined or intentional – to bask in memories, to go in a posture of remembrance. Sometimes the feeling is like sitting at a grand piano in the wave-slapped shores, sometimes it feels like hearing silence and appreciating it. If we are to be honest with ourselves, we crave for these instances - reveling in the glories of yesteryears or even aching for what could’ve been.

That day. Back in the day.

After those moments, we snap back into reality and chide ourselves. We tell ourselves to focus on the here and now, not to dwell on the past – and we are right. However, we must be reminded not to deny ourselves a glimpse of time that has fluttered past us, that glimmer of yesterday.

We should welcome this yearning for Ithaca, for solace in the past, or whatever it is we always look back on. Sometimes, I daresay, this yearning is important: for our resolve, our resilience, and for us to feel alive.

This is the 17th edition of Muralla, The Lance’s Literary Folio, entitled, Nostalgia.

Mr. Anton Vincenz Tantoco Adviser

PHOTO BY CARREON FAMILY VIA FLICKR

TABLE OF

CONTENTS 26 14 The Ruins YOU. MARIA SOFIA DIMACULANGAN

16 One Day JELSEY MAE SANCHEZ

18 Ora Pro Nobis CARLO PADRINAO

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San Mateo, Letrán and the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu: A Bond of Friendship and Devotion CHAD LOSANTA

MELODY JADE SORIANO

28 Memoirs of

my Christmas MELODY JADE SORIANO

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A ‘Knight’ with You AUDREY PELAYO

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You will be remembered, Hotdog DANIEL ROSALES

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To the Corner of Where I first saw You DANICA LOI VILLARUZ

68 Ang Elehiya ay Oda

JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

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Sa susunod na Pagkikita JOANNA FLORES

72 Galimgim ng Malamaya JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

76 Bilangguro JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

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Langit sa usok ng Magulong Maynila JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

82 Ibig kang Napili ABIGAIL BUSTOS

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Ito na nga ba ang Huli?

ROMMEL BONG FUERTES JR.

100 TRAYSIKEL

ANGELA ANN GABRIEL-IBARRIENTOS

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K[AR]ANG[AL]AN

JOANNA FLORES

POEMS

PHOTO BY LIZ VIA PINTEREST

FIRST PLACE

YOU.

BY MARIA SOFIA DIMACULANGAN

You are what I embrace as I become a part of you.

You are the second home that I call my own.

You are the brightness in every hue and the plenty when there’s only few.

You are what I see when I’m lost in this forest, we call world.

You are my hope for every hour whenever I wish to find myself in this endless striking tower.

You are the path that I chose to take as I step on the wooden bridge that will take me yonder.

Within each twists and turns I take, You remain as my guidance. The keeper of great and astounding memories that offer no defiance.

However, there is more to You to which I have admired and adored the most.

It is not only what you give, but what you are beyond these mirrors on my face and what you have taught me these years.

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You are a fox that slips through a corpse to find its den, sure-footed and without hesitation, heart beating in the rhythm of your quiet steps.

You are a clear note in a song that calls me, with a purpose that everything else is silenced.

A swell of movement underpinning a melody.

You are an altar of roses in the jungle, delicately out of place amidst the wild with petals caressed by heat and darkness.

You are the blue after a storm, endlessly peaceful and clear, the solemn and quiet apology of rain.

You empty me deny when the world that seeks to envelop the fumbling mountains and drinking oceans, fill me until there is only the step of a fox, the ring of a song, the touch of a rose and the promise of the sky that is you.

For eternity, I owe you what I am and what I will become.

There is only you that shall fill us with the fondest of moments and triumph of gifts.

Within us and a whole lot more, we are one with you. Our dearest home.

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SECOND PLACE

One Day

BY JELSEY MAE SANCHEZ

One day

One day

you took me with you

you were back

to your haven

you took us to the happiest place on

numbers were shouted

earth

you shouted too

new flavors on our tongues

you always paid more than you’d win

new sights to see

but you were happy anyway

a feast on our eyes we touched the clouds

One day

as we felt the breeze

you left

we were at the happiest place on earth

only you

and then we weren’t

but it was nothing new

it was time, again,

you left like always

for you to leave

to the heat of the engines

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to the comfort of the seas

One day

like always, you had time

we get a call

like always, you came back

dreadful news

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it seemed like a dream

That is always blown away by the wind?

oh, I had wished it was

How will I let go without falling apart

you were always like the sun

like a house of cards?

gone for a long night

I keep hating myself

but always back for the day

for resenting you

but now

that you’ve left too soon

you were just gone

If only I knew it was your last day.

I might have dealt with this a different

On that day

way

the breath I hitched

Some may think I’ve dealt with your

prickled at my lungs

death the best

my heart pounded hard in my chest

But without this mask I’d be a mess

silence filled the room like dead leaves falling,

This feeling may never go away

my mind collapsed without strength

But I know one day

and fear took over

It will all pass

that I may never again

It will all go

hear nor remember

flowers will bloom

the sound of your voice

the sun will set but the morning will come

How do I keep hold of withering

and someday

memories

We will meet again

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THIRD PLACE

Ora Pro Nobis

BY CARLO PADRINAO

Ordeal on the illusion of time Unforeseen dark that masqueraded as hope Succumbs on the belief of being an Ăźbermensch That the truth is an antihero Rendered them debts of disbelief and disappointment Opaque is the rationale of the blind optimism Detached from the reality of nightmares Yells are praises on the intangible that Disregards the boundlessness of grip Unearthed the forgotten demon

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Truce on the sciences of the beliefs Emancipate the fire that the fist of darkness holds Reiterate the ode of enlightenment while silently clapping of The hand that doesn’t move but fights Eavesdrop from the shadows of defeat are victors of history

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ESSAYS

PHOTO BY JOHN TEWELL VIA FLICKR

FIRST PLACE

San Mateo, Letrán and the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu: A Bond of Friendship and Devotion

BY CHAD LOSANTA

The Municipality of San Mateo, Rizal and the Colegio de San Juan de Letrán continues to strengthen their bonds of friendship as the Diocesan Shrine and Parish of Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu gave the Colegio a replica of the image of Our Lady last 6 August, 2017 during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass which was presided by Rev. Fr. Paul Lovell Javier, OP, the former Vice President for Religious affairs of the Colegio, together with other Dominican Priests. As a token of appreciation, the Colegio, in turn, presented the Diocesan Shrine an image of the Colegio’s foremost alumnus and saint, Sr. San Vicente Liem de la Paz. This kind gesture is rooted on the fact that it is only in the Town of San Mateo and the Colegio de San Juan de Letrán (with the recent addition of Asia Pacific College) that devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary under the title of “Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu” exists in the Philippines.

THE APPARITION OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY Devotion to the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu began during a drought in the town of Oñate in the Basque Country of Spain when Our Lady supposedly appeared to a young shepherd boy named Rodrigo de Balzátegui on 11 June, 1468 and requested that a chapel be erected in her honour at the site of the apparition. According to the story, Rodrigo was tending his sheep on the mountains near the outskirts of town when he noticed a commotion among his flock. As he went to investigate what was causing the commotion, he heard

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a clanking of a bell and followed the origin of the sound. Upon reaching where the sound of the bell was coming from, he saw Our Lady standing on top of the thorn bushes radiant and beautiful with the child Jesus on her left arm, and immediately exclaimed: “¡Arázazu! Vos, Señora, en los espinos!!!”

(Aránzazu! You, Lady, among the thorns!); he knelt down and prayed reverently.

After the apparition, he went down the mountains and reported the event to his parents who, in turn, gave notice to the archpriest of Oñate. The following morning, Rodrigo and a sizeable crowd went to the site of the apparition and saw an image of Our Lady seated on top of the hawthorns with a cowbell attached to its branches. The crowd retrieved the image and processed it down the mountains to the Church of Oñate. According to local tradition, upon entering the church, rain fell over the town ending the drought. Because of this, devotion to Mary under the title of Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu spread across the Basque Country and a Chapel was built over the site of the apparition.

In the year 1522, St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus, went on a pilgrimage to País Vasco after being wounded in Pamplona, there in front of the image of the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu he converted to the Lord and vowed his Chastity to the Blessed Virgin Mary. In the year 1888, under the Pontificate of Pope Leo XIII, the image of the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu was awarded a Cononical Coronation; recognizing the fervor and devotion of the people to the Blessed Virgin Mary under this title and in the year 1969 during the Pontificate of St. Pope Paul VI, the shrine of the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu was elevated to a Basilica.

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OUR LADY AND THE TOWN OF SAN MATEO According to Legend, in the year 1571, Spanish Settlers from Intramuros, Manila arrived in the presentday town of San Mateo looking for stones to be used in building churches in the Walled City of Manila. As they were quarrying, one of the settlers saw a Guardia Civil holding in his hands a quil and a notebook then teasingly shouted: “¡Ven, aquí es San Mateo!” (Look, here is San Mateo!). Not knowing what the men meant, he took this that the name of the place was San Mateo, thus the name of the town. Following this legend, when the Augustinians arrived and dedicated the first Church on 21 September, 1596, they placed the church and the town under the patronage of St. Matthew (San Mateo), Apostle and Evangelist. By the year 1660, the church built by the Augustinians was heavily damaged by a flood and was later condemned. It was during this time that the Jesuits started to arrive in the Town of San Mateo. By c. 1705 the Jesuits were already spreading devotion to Our Lady under the title of “Aránzazu” in the town. It is uncertain when the Augustinians turned over the care of the town of San Mateo to the Jesuits but in the year 1716 a new church was built and was later dedicated under the patronage of Mary, Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu.

THE COLEGIO DE SAN JUAN DE LETRÁN AND THE ARCHCONFRATERNITY OF OUR LADY OF ARÁNZAZU In the year 1732 due to the influx of Basque Students in Letrán, Very Rev. Fr. Juan de Arrechedera, OP, Rector of the Colegio and future Bishop of Nueva Segovia and Governor General of the Philippines, took the initiative to spread devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary under the title of Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu in the City of Manila and throughout the Spanish Colony.

A Confraternity was established and an image of the Nuestra Señora de Aránzazu was enshrined in the epistle side of the Altar of the Royal Chapel of the Colegio.

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PHOTO BY DAVY OCHIOA VIA FLICKR

SECOND PLACE

The Ruins

BY MELODY JADE SORIANO

There I was amidst the preserved artifacts, seeing and wondering just how much of the past was forgotten. Intramuros is a paradox between the present and the past, or maybe it was the past trying to persist in the present, begging to be remembered. Was the present tampering on the past or was it trying to preserve it?

Where my hero walked, now I walk in too. Where the Royal Audiencia conversed; there, I listened to conversations too. Not by foreign diplomats but by interested tourists, like me. There was more than a single language used, as people from all over the world stand in awe with me, looking at the past through the present. Its Nostalgic, living at the heart of Philippine History where the great Mock Battle of Manila has unfolded. I wonder what it’s like to see the past unravel before my eyes, to walk along people we now consider heroes, but were perceived as troublemakers at the time. Would we have joined the resistance and be like them; do acts of heroism or do we like today, stay silent?

What intrigues me the most is the atmosphere’s ability to call me out, call our incompetencies out. For it continually reminds me of the blood loss, battles fought all for the independence and development of our country.

On the contrary, we are still enslaved by elitist and imperialist ideals that

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our status quo left the Filipino people in a desperate state, the Filipino culture slowly forgotten, and identity tarnished. It’s frustrating to think that in a long history of revolution, we are fighting the same monsters.

And oddly, the monsters are those that we see in the mirrors daily.

Monsters that petrify our courage and chain us to the sidelines that we do nothing but feel sorry and when we are done being apathetic, direct our eyes to entertainment. Besides we are not the primary recipients of this pain that it’s okay to look away. Studying in prestige college that stood the test of time, we are evidently privileged to have look away from the oppression unraveling before us.

But I am hopeful, that the sight of the ruins reminds you of the war not only written in history but is also transpiring for many of the Filipino people. I hope that you remember that lives given are not mere ashes that get lost in the wind, nor bodies that rot on the ground they are the elements, the wind itself; hot and cold creating a typhoon that triggers our compassion and empathy.

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THIRD PLACE

Memoir of my Christmas

BY MELODY JADE SORIANO

I enjoy the city with my thoughts the music and the crowd and I. The streetlights and the moonbeam, the hundreds people, and my thoughts. I think of the interconnection of things while I’m in peace. I think of the Pedi cab driver and his rainbow sticker and trees making their way into homes this Christmas season. As colored balls are orderly embedded in its branches and lights flicker around the tree like little fireflies. Suddenly, the spirit of Christmas was casted like a spell on everyone; changing the atmosphere to all that is lovely, joyful, peaceful. It’s Christmas time, the bibingka and puto bumbong scent fills the pavement right outside the Sto. Nino Parish church.

Smiles were painted across the children’s faces, and for the first time in a long time, I saw genuine joy. Children and their parents, lovers making their way to the parish in time for the simbang gabi. I think of the good brought by this season and feel content in desire to not to know the reasons behind why they are joyful. For the first time it was okay not to know but just enjoy the sight right before me. It brings me back to when I was a child, when I was the one whose smile enlightens the others, when I was home.

It was home, when the scent of mama’s beef hamon filled the house; not that we prefer beef over pork but pork is illegal. Home is when papa and mama and would buy last minute gifts and wrap them right before Noche Buena. Home is when my younger siblings ask me to make special pancakes that are shaped

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like a Christmas tree. Home is when we set up the small Christmas tree above a stool that it would look bigger; we don’t have any other option because Christmas trees aren’t sold in our area. Home is when we sing Christmas carols on the doors of the rooms of our share house neighbors. Home is when we gather together underground singing praises to God for what Jesus had done because He is the reason for the season. Home is when we and our coexpats gather together as we celebrate Paskong Pinoy in a foreign land. Saudi Arabia was my home. It is where I was raised to be a patriotic Filipino as walls of our culture surround me in a foreign land. I see hard working OFWs think of nothing but their family, Pagmamahal sa Pamilya. Pag-titiis, as they bear the difficult times alone. Pagka-masayahin, when they joke around to ease the pain of loneliness. Pagka-makabayan, when they help each other in difficult times especially when one is bound to lose their source of income.

Pagka-maka Diyos, when we pray every Friday and listen to the word of God because faith has a new meaning for Filipino expats, it is faith when they believe they’d get home to their families safe, supplying all their needs with hopes that love would be evident even when they live miles away from their families.

There was a void that the Christmas breeze couldn’t heal. For in the midst of the lights and the trees and the parties and the Christmas music playing over the town. Many like myself are longing for our families. For a shelter that understands our sentiments and our pains. For a smile because finally we are together. For warmth brought in the foreign land. A foreign land that is a home, my home.

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SHORT STORIES

PHOTO FROM ARCHIVOS BEATO ANGELICO

FIRST PLACE

A ‘Knight’ with You

BY AUDREY PELAYO

Ella’s POV I am in front of an old school building here in Manila inside the walled city, Intramuros. The school is known as the Colegio de San Juan de Letran. Many people heard this school because it is considered as one of the elite schools and no one can simply enter and start a life into it. I don’t know any more details about it as I am from the province of Laguna. I walked towards it and stared at the antique style of interior having an armored statue that welcomed me at the entrance. I stride along the hallways looking side by side being awed by the unique style as this is m first time here.

Today is the orientation day for the freshmen which they called as “Binyag Arriba”, this is one of the traditions of Letran calling it a Binyag as we are new in this institution. I am a little scared as I don’t know anyone and I’m a little shy toward strangers whom I just met for the first time. Of course, I know that I need to socialized but habits cannot change that easily. I entered the gymnasium wherein flags that signifies Letran being the champion in basketball games. They are hanged around the place and carried a lot of dignity in it. A student approached me, I guessed she is a higher year student as she has a tagged saying that she is a student council member. She showed the way to the registration area, I signed and they gave me a bag that has a lot of Letran merchandises. I slowly turned around as I scan the room looking where could I sit on.

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“Hello, can I ask if you are an accountancy student?” a pale girl approached me shyly.

“Uhh yes, and you?”

“Oh, thank God! I am also an accountancy student, can I come with you?”

“Of course, you can.” I said then flashed a smile. I should be thankful also because someone voluntarily approached me The program went on and it is time for a break, a lunch break. Me and Alex, well she introduced herself a while ago and I found that she lives in Cavite, a province also, goes out to grab our lunch. We straightly go to the canteen, taste their signature “Chicken ni Mang George” and have a blast. Time went by so fast and we did not notice the time.

Fast forward to the first day of school and here I am again finding my way to my room. I am so lost in the middle of nowhere, I am so bad at directions to the point that I forgot the way that a guard taught me earlier. I walked vigorously until I found a small room at the end of the hallway. I approached the room like something in my guts telling me that I should go for it. I touched the doorknob and a weird sensation lingers through my fingers as I slowly turned it.

I looked for the room label and it says that “research center”, it is just 6 o’clock in the morning and students are nowhere to be seen except to the early birds which is just minimal. I entered the room; it seems like an old office having a lot of bookshelves where old books are stored in there. I roamed and a certain book catches my attention it says that “The Knight”, I opened it and I realized that it

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is like an historical book having a lot of characters introduced at the beginning pages, story started at a girl who is new to the orphanage, being quiet at all and not sociable compared to the other kids. I turned the next page and I saw that both of her parents were dead and she was sheltered by an orphanage that is widely known by everyone for the children who lives in it were educated by priests and as good citizens of the country.

“What brings you here child?” I dropped the book due to the abruptness of voice behind me.

“A-Ah! I lost my way to my room and I cannot find it at all. I am sorry for touching things without permission” I said to him. I realized that he must be one of the professors who conducts researches and who uses the room.

“No worries, actually no one has read the books which were stored in here. You were the first.”

“But you need books to have a research, right?” I answered in a puzzled look.

“Yes, we need books but we often go to the main library to search for it. Perhaps, we just thought that books here are just useless.” Well, he has a point. What is the use of a story book in their research?

“Alright, I got your point. I need to go sir, I have classes to attend to, nice meeting you sir.”

“Me too…” I did not get to finish it because I realized that I am so late and I still don’t know where is my room.”

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Someone’s POV “Me too,, I waited for you” I whispered under my breathe.

I picked up the book that she dropped and look at it. Maybe destiny had found the way to let her remember everything. She just must have courage to accept it.

I put it back where it should be and read the words being formed by the books stacked in the shelves.

“Como el sol es tu Gloria, sin fin.”

You should also live bright like a sun as you deserved it, Ella.

I get my phone from my pocket and started to call someone.

“She is here, but she cannot remember anything.” I reported over the phone “She should remember everything; our clan is still trapped through the warp of time and we need her.”

“I will try my best, but it looks like a long-term mission. She’s just getting started and I don’t want her to be shock at everything she needs to know.”

“I got it, but please do it as soon as possible.”

“I will, I should.” I ended the call and walk out of the room. I gazes at every corner realizing that in 400 years I am here, nothing really had a big change in this building. I can still smell the room where we usually hide whenever we play hide and seek and can still see the dead bodies all throughout the place. It was horrible,

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frightening and traumatic. I don’t want Ella to encounter all those troubles but I have no choice, she must accept it. She must bring change.

Ella’s POV One week had passed and I still can’t forget the book I’ve read in that room. It seems like a real event that happened in the past. It looks like a history book but it looks so brand new that it looks just like a novel published and sold at the bookstores. I got up on my bed and started to fix myself. I decided to go to a bookstore and search for it.

Upon arriving at the bookstore, I walked directly to the shelves where novels were displayed. I scanned through all of it and at the end I cannot find any copy of it.

I approached the customer service hoping for miracle in finding it but no luck at all. I decided to just read it again at school and went home.

Alex’s POV “How can you not do anything right! You useless one!” my mother shouted and throwing things at me. I kept on dodging those things as I study my lessons for my exams tomorrow.

“How can you be so slow and not having any progress until now? We need to get that from her!” and here we go again, my mother really wanted that girl have and as her daughter I need to get it from her.

I think I haven’t introduced myself yet, I am Alexandra Briones and I am a descendant of Briones Clan. We are famous of being the family that opposites the family of light. Well we are not a villain but we often contradict what they’ve decided to do. My family lives happily and peacefully except the time of spring.

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I cannot say to you who she really is but I think you have now the idea. Our families had the only capabilities to reach each level since 1600s. And now, it is that time again when a fruit were fully ripened and the bees are all attracted into it.

“Alright mom, can you please tone down a little? Can’t you see that I am studying?”

“Ahhh! So you have some time to study that damn books but you cannot study her moves? Are you an idiot?”

“Come on mom! I’m not an idiot, it’s just that she cannot remember anything. She is a clueless lad.”

“Oh? She cannot remember anything? As in anything?” I just nod every time she asks.”

“Well that’s good, I don’t have anything to worry about.” She continued and went out from my room while whistling.

I just really hope that she will not remember those days, days when everyone is in chaos.

Ella’s POV “Hey Ella!” Alex called me from a distance.

“Hi Alex!” I greeted her.

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“You’re early, where are you going?” she asks while keeping her pace with mine.

“Oh, it’s just my regular time going to school. No reasons at all.” I said to her while giving her hints to go on her way.

“Really? Well, okay see you around.” I feel so relieved when she finally catches my hints. After giving her a wave, I straightly go to the research center hoping that the book is still there.

I arrived at the room and I noticed that the door is a little opened like it offers me to go inside. I got no time to waste so I entered the room immediately. I saw the guy whom I talked to last time and he is scanning the books thoroughly. Before I turn my back wanting to escape the room and go back when no one is there, he saw me that is why I don’t have the choice but to talk to him.

“Uhh hi?” I awkwardly said.

“What brings you here again? Don’t tell me you are still lost inside the campus?” he jokingly said.

“Of course not, I just can’t forget the book I read last time so I return here hoping I can read the next pages of it.” I saw a slight surprise in his face but recovered immediately.

“You are a very strange kid; how can you be attracted in some one old books and not on romantic novels like other teenagers do?” he said while chuckling.

“Well, I am not here to be laughed by you, so if you excuse me, I can go back here when NO ONE’s around.”

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“Whoa! Calm your horns little devil, I can show you around if you want to.” I gave her a weird look, like why would he show me around when I don’t know him.

“I know that look, I know that I haven’t introduce myself yet. So, hi? I am Ismael member of the research center as you know and don’t worry, I am a student here.”

“Okay, So I am Ella, new student here as you can see.” I said to him sarcastically.

“Nice to meet you.” He said then offered his hand for a shake hand. I gladly accept it as part of a formal manners.

“So, as I was saying, what kind of book you are looking for?” I came back to my senses after he asked me that question.

“I don’t know its title but it is about a girl living in an orphanage. That what I remember the last time I read it.” upon hearing this, his face changed and I saw the sadness and disappointments.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“I-I’m okay.” He brings back his composure and starts to find the book I am searching on.

After a few minutes, he found it and handed over to me. I sat on and open the pages where I stopped reading on. The next pages showed more characters and had a conversation with the girl.

Third Person’s POV

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Flashback 400 years ago…

“Hi, I am snow, how about you?” a young boy approached the girl sitting at the corner of the orphanage looking at those children who plays around the garden.

“What kind of name is that? You are snow? Well I am sun.” the girl sarcastically answered.

“You’re so mean. Sister told me that my name is snow because I came from the winter family.” He said while pouting. What an annoying boy, the girl said in her thoughts.

“Okay sure Mr. Snow.” The girl left the boy after saying it.

“Where are you going sun?” the boy shouted from behind.

“I am going to a place I cannot feel cold.” I answered quietly, instead I waved my hands and go inside the orphanage.

Few years after, those young girl and boy grew up and became best of friends that can ever had. They always relied to one another and solve problems together. The sisters and priests during their days of staying always wanted them to be together but their fate opposed in that longing.

That “day” came, no one expected it and only one will be truly hurt by it. The boy was up for adoption, the couple who chose him have high status in the government as the man is a high authority member of the military and the woman is a noble lady. The two of them both heard the news, the girl walked out and the boy followed her immediately. They found themselves under the huge

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tree out in the garden, the girl sat on the green grass and look up the clear sky.

“It really came, isn’t it?” the girl broke the silence between them.

“I can refuse the offer, sun.” the boy answered in a low voice. The girl smiled, a sad smile.

“Idiot. That good life is just around you; you just have to grab it and leave this lonely place.”

“But I am not lonely Sun! I have you and I need you.” The boy said between his sobs.

“Come on, don’t be a coward. You don’t need me. You can have other people beside you when you live with them. It’s okay Snow, I am okay. You can have your live there, but remember all those memories with me okay?” the girl patted the back of the boy and stared at nowhere.

I can be happy as long as you are, Snow.

That certain day came, Snow’s things are all packed and the only one needs to be there is Snow itself.

“I will visit you always Sun. The huge tree at the garden is our meeting place. It is our connection, I love you Sun…” the boy said behind those closed doors where the girl confined herself, whispering the last words he said.

The girl did not move even an inch. She just listened to what the boy wanted to

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say and answered him under her breathe.

“I will wait for you Snow; I love you too.”

Ends…

Ismael’s POV “How can you cry in that trivial cringey things?” I said while giving her a confused look.

“You cannot understand a girl’s heart, do you?” she said while sobbing.

“Okay fine. Stop reading and go to your class now, you’re late!” I said then closed the book she strongly holds.

“You’re such a cold-hearted man!” she shouted at me and leaves the room.

“I know, I am that cold one that abandoned you.” I looked at the book and quietly laughed at it. I cannot believe that I still have this book. Well, I think it is a good choice though.

I get up and put the book where it should be. Maybe that book can help me in the things that I should’ve done and must’ve done in both time frames. *sound of someone collapse* I leave the room immediately upon hearing that sound, I saw Ella lying on the floor unconscious. I lift her up and bring her to the infirmary room.

“I hope you can remember me soon, Sun. I really missed you but I cannot tell

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who really am I. I feel so pathetic watching you from a distance, cannot approach you in the first place.” I whispered to her while staring at her face. Deities really gave her a beautiful face every time she will be reincarnated.

I watch her over some time and after an hour she woke up.

“Are you okay?” I asked her “What happened?” she asked while trying to get up.

“You collapsed earlier, don’t push yourself too hard.” I warned her then help her until she sat comfortably.

“You waited long enough, don’t you?” she said in a soft voice. I looked at her with surprise and confuse on what is she saying about.

“W-what do you mean?” I asked her in disbelief.

“Don’t pretend anymore, Snow…” no words can describe enough my feelings at this moment, I hugged her tight, a thing I’d kept for another hundred years.

“H-how?—” “Shush, you don’t have to say a word. I can now remember. I am Dawn Fuentes, your sun.” she said then smiled sweetly.

Ella’s POV/ Dawn’s POV “Dawn! Come here my baby..”

“You really shined our lives, Dawn.”

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“We loved you, please continue giving life to others.”

Am I dreaming? What are all those? Who are them? Dawn? Is that me? The scene changed and I saw everything is destroyed. Buildings are burned and ruined. Is that really a place or an Armageddon? I can’t see myself living in that place. It looks so horrible.

“Sun! I really don’t want to leave you but I need to. I love you, I really do.”

“Snow! Help me! I don’t want to die!”

“Eirwan! You need to hurry up and kill that girl.”

“Eirwan! Don’t leave me alone!”

Wait! Is that Ismael? Is he Eirwan? What is he doing? And why is he in my memories? Is it really my memories?

“Dawn, you need to be strong, stay alive and save our descendants! I will leave them up to you.”

“Here, takes care of this ring. Go anywhere and you will be protected.”

“I’m sorry Dawn, but I need to do this.”

Ismael killed me! And the school where I am is the ruined orphanage I’d lived in hundred years ago! Is this possible? Am I really reincarnated? I have so many questions in my mind but I cannot come up with a logical answer as I, myself

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cannot belief in those nonsense “I hope you can remember me soon, Sun. I really missed you but I cannot tell who really am I. I feel so pathetic watching you from a distance, cannot approach you in the first place.” I heard someone saying this to me. I tried to wake up which ended successfully. I am now well-aware of who I am but I still need answers, I need explanations why those things happened in the past.

“You waited long enough, don’t you?” I said in a soft voice upon waking up a few minutes. He looked at me with surprise and confuse on what am I saying about.

“W-what do you mean?” he asked me in disbelief.

“Don’t pretend anymore, Snow…”

“H-how?—” “Shush, you don’t have to say a word. I can now remember. I am Dawn Fuentes, your sun.” I said then smiled at him sweetly. He hugged me tight after saying this to him, I can feel the longing in his embraces but I need to still look the same, like nothing changed and I do not remember all those horrible things he did to me.

“I am so happy that you can now remember me.” He said happily.

“I am sorry for not recognizing you from the start.”

“No, it is not your fault. You are in a different time and in a body of a different person. I promise that from now on I will protect you from other clans. I will do everything I failed to do in the past.” He said while caressing my hand. I somehow

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felt some guilt as he may changed through those long years and his love for me is what his sincere feelings.

“But, I cannot remember all too well. I don’t know how I died or what happened to us after you being adopted.” He stopped a moment after I said those words.

Looks like he wants to avoid those questions.

“U-uh you died because of calamity. There had an earthquake at that time and the orphanage was severely destroyed.” He said but I know these are all lies. He killed me through an order of a high authority military personnel which I think is his father who adopted him.

“Is that right? But how can you still be alive until now?”

“I am also reincarnated every time I will born again. My clan always find me and help me remember everything just like how you got your memories back.” He explained to me.

“Did you joined military after years of being adopted? I just want to check if my memories won’t fail me” I asked reluctantly “Yes, my father told me so. I really don’t want to join because I will leave you but I have no choice.” Seems real but not fell for it.

“Then why did you kill me?” I asked him straight to his dark eyes. He did not talk for a moment, instead he got up and kneel in front of me.

“I am really sorry sun. That time the military decided to execute people who have

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strong faith or connection with the religious sects. I wanted to protect you that is why I don’t include Colegio de Niños Huerfanos de San Juan de Letran which is our orphanage but they found it later. They want me to prove my loyalty with them having my biological parents as hostages.” He narrated.

“Your biological parents? I thought they were dead that is why you were in the orphanage.” He smiled a little with the words I’ve said.

“My parents are the sister and priest in that orphanage. My existence was kept to everyone, my mother had me when my father decided to enter being a seminarist and leaving us for his calling. After a year, my mother cannot take the struggle of being a single parent, she took her courage and tell to my father the truth.

After confessing, they’d came up with a solution of me being an orphaned and my mother entered the church. Knowing this truth, they both know that this is a great sin and people at that time are aggressive, they kill the child of person who served in religious institutions which my parents wanted to avoid. I just found it the day I was up for adoption, my mother cried and she told me the truth.” I felt the sadness in his voice, the hardship they’d faced in that time, I also felt sad for him.

“Then the military knew this all along and used it to kill me?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I am so sorry Sun.” I hugged him because I cannot say any words that can comfort him this time.

“Wait, you should be careful to Alex. Her clan opposed you and your family.” He warned me,

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“You know my family?”

“I think I am not the one who has the right to explained everything to you. I will call and let them meet you. They missed you a lot.” He said while smiling so I just nod my head and smile back at him.

Alex’s POV I heard someone talking inside the infirmary so I opened the door a little and listen to it. I cannot hear all the words they said but I think Ella can now remember. Hyacinth need to know this news before anyone else would.

“Hello?”

“Hello Hyacinth, I think Dawn can now remember everything. You should call the group we need to have a meeting.”

I go back to our headquarters and enter the room that can be opened with our group’s fingerprints.

“So, is everybody here?” I put down my things on the table.

“Yes. So, Dawn really can now remember everything?” Isiene asked.

“Seems like based on her conversation with Eirwan.”

“Erwan? As in that guy that came from the winter clan?” Kyra ensures. I just nod with their questions leaving them a deep sigh.

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“Why is she with him? Does Eirwan gave up the title?” Hyacinth said.

“I think he just want to be close with Dawn again like how he betrayed her in the past.” Isiene answered.

“But maybe his clan really joined hands with the spring family to be included in being a noble.” Kyra guessed.

“Quiet guys, our guesses would not do anything if we don’t confirm it either way.”

I suggest.

“Now, I will look closely with her, you Isiene will hack all her accounts and gadgets report if you notice any unusual behavior of her being with Eirwan, then Kyra and Hya will tail her.” I commanded and leave the room.

The next day…

I need to put my plans quickly before Dawn realized it. I look for Dawn all over the campus but I cannot find her anywhere. I look at the rooms, library, clinic and also restrooms but no traces of her. Then I realized that there is one place that I haven’t seen, the research center. I went upstairs and she really inside. She did not notice my presence so I just talk to her.

“So, I think you can now remember.” I said then lean on the table. She faced me upon hearing my voice, surprised.

“Yes, but I think you are not in my memories.” She said which made me laughed.

“Of course, you don’t have any memories with me because I am just the girl in the

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orphanage that is being outcast everytime.” I said.

“Compared to the both of you, I really don’t have any family that I can call of. I am really an orphaned.” I continued.

“Then what did I do to you?” she asked with her confused look.

“To be honest, not with me but with the clan that adopted me years after.”

“What?”

“You received something right? A ring?” I asked.

“What ring?”

“The ring that is invincible they said. Once you have this you are protected. You know why?” because that is the ring of the Queen. It was passed down to the families who have the capability to remain their nobility in them. Everyone was aware of this ring that is why whenever they saw it on you, you can never be touched by anyone.” I narrated to her.

“But I don’t have it.” I was surprise by her answer. It is not with her? How come?

“Don’t fool me Dawn. Your family is the last one who acquired it before you died in the past.”

“I really don’t have it Alex. And I don’t know what is that ring by the way.” I can sense the authenticity in her voice. maybe she really doesn’t have the idea where it is.

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“Okay. Forget what I said to you. Just think that I am just sharing my life with you.” I said then leave the room without waiting her to answer me.

Mother need to know this, maybe other clans owned it right now.

Ella’s POV So that’s what they really need with me. I took out my necklace and look at it carefully. I realized that this is the ring that my memories showed me and what they are looking for. Up until now, our family still have the nobility and I am the one who had it all along.

“You need to give that to me, Dawn.” I look at someone who talked behind my back.

“Why you need it Ismael? Are you the same with them?”

“Our family need it. we are still in the blacklist in the Spain and our ancestors would not face any justice if we don’t have that ring.”

“How can I believe you? You can be just any families out there. Having their huge green in obtaining treasures and riches all over the world.”

“Then maybe you can come with me in our place in order for them to explain it all to you.” He said. That really got me intrigued.

I come with him and his family explained it all to me. How can they be removed to being a blacklist wall-known family in the Spain and what are the requirements.

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“I have the evidences now on how we can clear the names of our ancestors. I just want them to have a peaceful life up there enjoying the justice they must have.”

His father said to me.

“I got it sir, but this is not an easy decision. I kept this ring from the moment I was born, being told to not misplace or lost it anywhere.”

“You really did your best in protecting it. Your family brought back the ruined orphanage and made it into an elite school here in our country. You helped children who are lack in emotional and educational support throughout those long years. In 400 years of existence of that institution, it achieved numerous successes and overcame several challenges. This time, we are the who needs it. It is also embarrassing for us to ask for a huge favor like this but we are pleading to you” after hearing this, I think they have the right to have the ownership of the ring.

“Okay, I will give this to you. But please take good care of it.” I said then hand over the ring with them.

“Yes we will, thank you so much.” I got up and ready to leave the place when his father said something that risen my anger.

“So you really think that our ancestors need it? oh come on, they are dead hundred years ago they will not know it anymore.” I looked back at him and look with disbelief.

“What are you talking about? Ismael? You lied to me?” I look at Ismael waiting for his answer.

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“No! I don’t know it either.” He replied “Of course, he did not know, he is a catastrophic child. He should not be born in the first place. But what are going to do now? He is right here breathing. You, Eirwan will marry Alexandra and obtain the nobility of this ring” He said.

“What?! I don’t want to marry her!” Eirwan yelled.

“You don’t have the choice. Marry her or you will die.”

“Then kill me, I suppose that you cannot do it. Come on Ella!” he answered back and hold my wrist. Before I can move my foot forward, I heard a loud sound of gun behind me and made Eirwan release his grip and collapse on the ground.

“EIRWAN!” I ran towards him and hold his head towards me.

“Come on Eirwan! Don’t leave me alone.” I said between my sobs.

“Eirwan! Don’t leave me alone!” what is that? A memory?

“Please don’t die, I will call some help.”

“Why did you have to kill yourself to? You really an idiot!” I said in my mind.

Wait, Eirwan did not kill me. His gun was just pointed at me but a military officer behind him who clutch the trigger. Why did I not know this sooner? How come my memories fail me and come in a situation like this? I will call for help but Eirwan stopped me, he smiled at me brightly while shaking his head meaning

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that I should not do it. I just cried my eyes out and brawled like a child. He really loves me, he really protected me but I did not see it in the first place. I just wanted to spend some time in this present time but now I can’t, I did not have time.

Everything is so fast, we just met last few days and now you are in my arms lying on the cold ground, bathing in your own blood. I did not do anything, I cannot.

I just want to stay with you until your last breath because I now realize that I cannot have another day or night with you. You are my protector; my knight and I am always in a damsel distress. Please, I just want to have another chance to pay back all the things that you did to me. Please, just one more life with you…

Third Person’s POV Another hundred years had passed and the spring broke early than its usual time.

Winter ended so quickly than anyone can imagined, another beginning has come and another life was given. Two people were planned to encounter each other, this time the fate allowed them to make their own one. A young girl entering a school in Manila, being nervous in her first time but gathered all her courage to take the first step of her life; a step that can change her next life.

“Hi? Are you new here?” a young boy approached her.

“By the way, I am Eirwan. You?” “Nice to meet you, I am Dawn”

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PHOTO BY ROMMEL SERANNO VIA FACEBOOK

SECOND PLACE

You will be remembered, Hotdog

BY DANIEL ROSALES

“The eyes are the windows of the soul.” I never believed such, until I met his eyes in the color of a pickle—that I can’t forget; never, until I’m here at Letran.

Bombarded with so much academic stuffs, not knowing what to do, I found myself ended with my back in its semi-circle position seated in one of the benches at Salon de Actos. Label it all—tired, stressed, anxious, pressured, sure I was. That moment was like a peak date of submitting everything in compliance to all our courses (especially General Education courses). My eyes were wandering around, of no direction at all. I just stared to anyone I wish to. But all of a sudden, something jumped on my lap. And in shock, I screamed.

My whole nervous system, including all my shocked hormones were paralyzed for like five seconds, while my eyes were directly pointed on my lap, where an out of nowhere creature made it as its fortress. It circled around like he just paid a rental to trespass my body. With his pewter fur wrapping his tiny feet, my heart melted. Our eyes met, a brownish over a pickle. It was no accident, it was fate.

Luckily, I still have a piece of hotdog which I immediately gave it to him. From the way he ate that leftover, I knew he was hungry. And I named him after that

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— Hotdog. I know he’s a kitten, he don’t bark, and will never, but I just had the feeling that that piece of meat tamed that furry creature, and it was meant to be.

It was never once, I often visited him at Salon de Actos and gave him food.

When I am tired of “study first” motto, I talked to him. Of course, there will be no replies, but a “meow” and a hundred times more. I also gave him hotdogs more often than I eat them. The size of two palms together will be my stress companion, I never expected that. Every free time I have I get to talk to him, and we played as I annoy him with a string of yarn or just my fingers on the floor in a “playing piano” mode.

Since I’d been at Letran, entering my college life, I never had a genuine friend that I can talk to without judging me. Just listening. I hope he did. I was once so close to trouble when I saw a student, high school, kicking Hotdog and made fun of him, not as a pet or what, but like a toy that cannot feel pain. I’ve stared to that students with full of anger in my eyes with a little touch of emotional. I grabbed Hotdog from the floor, and I didn’t care at all whatever what that student will backfire on me. He who touch my Hotdog, my kitten, must have a hand of a flower, gentle and with care. And if you don’t have one, you better mind your own problem, and kick a stone with all your might.

I love my kitten, soon to be cat. My Hotdog. I will protect him at all cost. Until that day happened.

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I went to Salon so early in the morning so I can check Hotdog and give him his breakfast. But I couldn’t find him, so I searched around, wishing he could be sleeping or somewhere in hidden, wanting to play hide-and-seek with me. But I couldn’t find him. And waited for lunch, hoping to see Hotdog.

Lunch time, and I passed by a professor, and greeted me with her statement, “Did you know that all the cats here in Letran were captured and banned?” I didn’t know what to feel. I was hoping he was in hiding, and had saved himself to the capture. Days have passed but none of his shadows, even his “meows” were to be found. I got sad. I missed his furry feet. His eyes. His smiles. I miss my Hotdog. But I think that was the last time.

I know it will be possible for me to find a lot more of cats and kittens, but my Hotdog is the only one. He was the most unexpected friend I had in my darkest days. He taught me that love comes in different ways, and I love my kitten, my cute furry kitten. He also taught me that love lasts when it is genuinely felt in its most unusual way. It is never serendipity. It is destiny.

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PHOTO BY ROMMEL SERANNO VIA FACEBOOK

THIRD PLACE

To the Corner of Where I First saw You

BY DANICA LOI VILLARUZ

I took a deep breath before stepping foot again on this place I told myself not to return to anymore.

It has been roughly three years, yet everything still looked the same from as far as I can remember. As I shyly enter the gates, the security guards in charge met me halfway as they asked me basic information before I can go in. Things like “What’s your name?”, “What business do you have to do here?”, and “Why did you come back again after so long?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the last question as I was surprised to see one of the guards here who I used to always bid farewell to whenever I leave the gates three years ago.

“I came back because I thought I should pay a visit to my old high school since I’m about to graduate from college weeks from now.”

Yes. The place I didn’t want to come back to anymore was this place.

My high school.

“Congratulations! You have grown well… and maybe even better from the person you used to be. Well, I don’t want to delay your time so please feel free to roam around and feel at home. It was indeed your home after all.”

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I smiled back at the guard as a sign of gratitude for still welcoming me here.

I then began walking.

The school honestly didn’t change that much a lot. From the campus, I can see some elementary students in their Physical Education uniforms running around the basketball court. The canteen still sells the same stuff… and it doesn’t even surprise me why. It’s still filled with a lot of students though. The buildings still have the same colors, still the same rooms, staircases and hallways.

And when I reached the third floor, my heart wringed a little.

Suddenly an outburst of memories kept flooding my mind as if I had amnesia.

There was nobody around but I could feel everything.

It feels like 2015 again. Three years ago seemed like it was just yesterday.

And yesterday, I had you.

I go nearer the railings as I feel the wind brushing gently against my hair. I wonder, if we found these days again, how would have things turned out?

You were the only reason I loved high school. From the moment we met, I just knew there was something special in you. I never intended to grow an interest towards you, or someone, or anyone at all. I tried my best to avoid everyone so I can graduate high school in silence and peace… but your entrance was something the doors have failed to shut close. I always thought it was a coincidence but you always found your way to me in the strangest ways. And if fate wasn’t real enough then she wouldn’t have purposely put our classrooms right next to each other, have our dismissal times exactly the same, and have

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you waiting for me right on this very place I stand just so we can walk home together because you practically live along the same direction of my street… and that’s really weird.

I laugh.

But it hurts.

I’m happy I can remember those memories. Those were the realest I had almost my entire life. During those times, I felt I have a home. You held me close even though I was so uninviting of the rest of the world. You understood my pain, my drama, and my worries even though I could not explain all of them audibly.

Fragments of you still existed in this place, along with the parts of me that I left here.

The shy smiles.

The small hugs from behind.

The fingers that were intertwined.

And the exchanges of sweet words… promises… and vows.

I love you.

I know you did, and I know your love was true.

But maybe we only loved each other because this was the only place that kept us together. This was the place that built you and I. This was our world; and anything outside beyond the gates doesn’t exist in our minds.

And the moment we stepped outside ruined us didn’t it?

Everyone didn’t understand what we wanted them to understand. Everyone

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didn’t accept what we were so proud of together. And we… we… failed to be strong enough for each other.

We moved further away from what we used to take care of so much.

Distance grew and you did too.

I remember you telling me a line from a song before and it goes, “If one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me And your heart starts to wander where on this earth I can be” Maybe you will wake up one day and realize that but I know you won’t waste your time to think of coming back to me anymore. Not when everything has already been broken beyond repair.

But stupid me… I came back here.

I came back because I miss you. Because I miss the past. Because my heart aches to go back.

I know that this school was home, but maybe… it never was.

These yearnings are temporary, and so is this grief. I know I lost you, I lost something great; I lost a part of me along with you.

But it’s been years and you have already moved on.

I should too.

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I see the sun setting and some students are now walking towards the gate as they approach their leave for school.

I take one last look at the hallway before I go down the stairs.

This is my goodbye.

All farewells are painful but some things really need to grow out of us so we can too.

I’m going to miss everything but it’s not worth worrying now anymore.

Looking back, the past was filled with hope and happiness. It played a huge role on my present and I will forever be thankful for it despite all the hurt it carried.

Today, I’m going to finally bury what has been already long dead and I’m going to accept that there will be an empty hole in me for leaving this big baggage behind.

I need to breathe.

Things are no longer the same.

I reminisce memories but what do they do anyway?

Nostalgia is sometimes a liar that insists things were better than they seemed.

But everything happens for a reason anyway, and nostalgia cannot decide for the future.

I exist because I can think, Because I need to grow, Because I need to change.

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…

I stepped in here to tell myself that everything is over, that after three years I am now finally in peace. I have gathered my courage to let my emotions free after being locked up for so long. I returned to realize that there is no use to remember anymore, that there is no home for me anymore.

Myself already is a home.

And I will take care of it in ways you failed to do so.

Thank you.

Thank you for everything.

I’ll leave this place with all the memories we made, and I will create newer ones that won’t have you anymore. It’s okay, I tell myself it’s okay. If you can do it, I can too.

If you can breathe, I will, finally, too.

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TULA

PHOTO BY ROMMEL SERANNO VIA FACEBOOK

FIRST PLACE

Ang Elehiya ay Oda NI JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

Liblib ang simbolismo nitong mga elehiya, Ikinukubli niya ang mga tayutay noong kahapisan nitong paksa ng pag-iisa.

May hilahil ang pagdama nitong ritmo ng oda, subalit nilisan na ng pagluluksa ang kanyang pag-iisa.

Takot nga bang ihayag ng elehiya ang kanyang nadarama?

O sa oda na lamang ipahahayag ang kalaliman ng pagdadawis niya?

Duwag, Takot ang makatang ibunyag ang kasakiman, ‘pagkat kalakip nito’y pangungutya sa kahulugan ng mga taludturan.

Nagtatago siya sa telon ng talinhaga, Hindi malirip, hindi mapagtanto, hindi

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mabanaag kung ano ba talaga ang pagkatao niya, Sakim siya sa mga salita, hidhid siya sa tunay niyang nadarama.

Takot, nababalot sa karimlan yaong ritmo ng kanyang mga pagdurusa.

Makata siya kung tutuusin, subalit hindi niya mawari kung ang tayutay ba’y nagmamalabis o sandata upang ikubli ang kanyang pagdadawis.

Makata siya sa mata ng lipunan subalit baliw siya sa pananaw ng pantikan.

Ngunit bakit pinapalakpakan ang kanyang mga katha?

Gayong representasyon lamang ang kaniyang ipinakikita, Mapagluksa ang makata matapos siyang

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palakpakan, sapagkat tayo’y mga simbolismo lamang sa mundong ito.

Palamuti, na sa isang iglap ay kay bilis kalimutan.

Dumatal na ang kalawakan ng daigdig at ninais na huwag mamulat, ayaw na niyang sumulat, May nais siyang isiwalat.

Makata siya sa mata ng masa, Sa pagdadaop nitong pagluluksa sa oyayi subalit baliw siyang nilalaro ng ng elehiya, panitikan. labis ang pagtatangis ng pluma.

Ang elehiya ay oda, Sa pagkawala nitong mga simbolismo, ngunit anuman ang uri nya sa pagkayurak ng diwa’y kumakalas sa sambayanan; kritisismo. may hilahil man sa kanyang isipan, Hindi lamang simbolismo ang umaalipin madarama sa kanyang tula kung ano ang sa makata, kanyang nararamdaman. ‘pagkat lipuna’y hukom sa pangungutya: Baliw siya sa mga salita sa pagmamahal naninira, naghahatol, huwad. sa panitikan, subalit hindi mawari ng bayan kung ano Lipas na ang silim, ang kanyang katauhan, ginunaw na ang makata sa dilim, ano ang karakter niya sa elehiya? tanging alitaptap yaong gabay ng banlat; Marahil siya ang paksa ng kahapisan, tangan-tangan sa muling pagkulimlim, subalit sino ang oda kung siya ang paksa lalaban kahit ang bahaghari’y itim. ng kalungkutan?

Ang oda ay pisi ng kanyang isip: Kumalas na ang manunulat sa paksang pumapalya, sumasala, nagkukulang. kaniyang isinusulat,

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SECOND PLACE

Sa Susunod na Pagkikita NI JOANNA FLORES

Magkikita pa kaya tayo?

Pagkatapos ng buwan, taon, o dekada ng pagtayo Sa kabila ng pangangawit ng mga binti ko Hindi ko magawang humakbang palayo sa’yo Magkikita pa ba tayo?

O mananatili akong nakapiit sa iyong mga puno Sa limang daang alaalang kasama kitang bumuo Sa mga luha’t ngiti na nasaksihan mo Magkikita pa kaya tayo?

Marahil, oo; Dahil sa bawat sulok mo may marka ng aking pagkatao Bakas ito ng halo-halong sugat, ligaya at pagod na puso

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Magkikita pa ba tayo?

Siguro nga, oo; Dahil sa aking pagbabalik sa loob ng tahanan mo Aagos ang mga ala-ala nang hindi ko pagsuko Sa katawan mo nakaukit ang kwento ko At ito ang kwento na bumuo sa pagkatao ko.

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THIRD PLACE

Galimgim ng Malamaya NI JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

Puraw ang banil ng malamaya: marungis, ngunit malaya — dalisay ang kaniyang mukha, subalit may puwang ang kutya.

Lumalansag yaong isipan, marahil malaya siyang nakakulong sa kahapisan.

Kumupas na ang malamaya, ininda nito‘y liso ng kapayakan para lumaya, ‘pagkat mapaglunggati ang pagiging masaya: mapaghangad, mapagpita, mapag-adhika.

Hindi maipinta ang mukha ng malamaya, gaya ng isang papel; kapi ang hantungan niya.

Namamarak ang malamaya sa puraw na galimgim, hinagpis sa hukay, himlay sa lilim.

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Dumadagtum yaong katawang napapanghal, ibig maglaho; kahit na napapagal.

Tatalikdan na yaong katapangang mabaya, sa alimpuyo, pagtunghay ay ipauubaya.

Huling hantunga’y yaohin ang panaghoy, dangal mo’y lilukin sa nag-ngangalit na apoy.

At kung iihip muli ang hagayhay na nagluluksa; pipinuhin pa ang malamaya, itatarak ang kandila sabay waglit sa iyong mga gunita.

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SANAYSAY

PHOTO FROM THE DIGITAL COLLECTIONS OF THE NATIONA WWII MUSEUM

FIRST PLACE

Bilangguro

NI JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

Ang liham pasasalamat ay isang selda: nagtatakda, nagpipiit ng paksa.

Lingid sa kaalaman ng karamihan, preso ang mga kaguruan sa likod ng rehas ng Paaralan.

Sa piitang sisidlan ng mga kaguruan, mainit. Sa pag-aaral ko sa piitang ito sa apat na taon, nasaksihan ko kung paano naghimas ng rehas ang mga kaguruan para sa’ming preso rin ng lipunan: mangmang, walang alam. Sa loob nitong kulungan, marahil mainit, subalit dito mo maiintindihan ang laban ng buhay.

Mainit ngunit kinakailangan mong lumaban alang-alang sa karunungan. Sa kabila ng init, ni minsa’y hindi tumakas ang mga guro alang-alang sa mga mumunting presong dahil sa init ay nauuhaw sa kamalayan at kaalaman.

Sa piitang sisidlan ng mga kaguruan, masikip. Dito marahil naglalagi ang lahat ng kabataan sa bayan, ito ang ikalawa nilang tahanan. Subalit bakit sila nakapiit?

Ano ang hatol ng bayan?... magsilbi, matuto, at lumaya. Ganito inaasahan ang mga kabataang hinatulan ng piitan. Kaya tayo nakakulong, hindi dahil sa mayroon tayong sala, subalit may kalam ang ating isipan — ang ating kaalaman.

At responsibilidad nating maging maalam at matuto upang balang araw, maging instrumento tayo ng mapagpalayang karunungan at hindi talikdan ang mga gurong instrumento ng ating kalayaan. Sa loob ng masikip na piitang ito, narito ang kaginhawahan. Siksikan ang mahigit limampung preso sa isang kulungang pinamumunuan din ng isang preso. Subalit sa kabila ng kakulangan, siksik

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pa rin ang kaalamang ipinababatid sa kabataan. At dahil sa siksikang silid na kanilang pinamumugaran, bilang lamang ang mga galaw na kanilang dapat ipakita, ano ang dahilan? Ito’y dahil preso rin sila ng lipunan. Nakakulong sila sa aspetong “guro ka dapat ganito ka, dapat ganyan ka” kaya naman paglaya nila sa piitang ito matapos ang mahabang araw ng pagtuturo, labis ang kahapuan nilang bayani ng karunungan. Nakalulungkot, nakadidismaya ang kaisipan ng lipunan sa ating kaguruan.

Sa loob ng piitang sisidlan ng kaguruan, sira-sira. Ito ang representasyon ng tunay na estado ng edukasyon sa bansa, subalit sira-sira man ang istraktura, pilit tinatagpian nitong mga guro ang silid-aralan para sa mahusay na pagkakatuto ng kabataan. Paluwal man kadalasan, nawa’y hindi naman piitan ang kalagyan ng mga gurong hangad ay magtungo ng kaunlaran sa mga mag-aaral ng lipunan.

Mainit, masikip, at sira-sirang silid: ito ang piitang sumasalamin sa hirap niyong mga Bilangguro, na sa kabila ng pagkakait ng simpleng kaghinwaha’y patuloy na sumusulat ang yeso sa pisara ng magandang kinabukasan. Bilanggo mang ituring ng pamahalaan sa pagtatakda ng aralin sa mga presong uhaw rin sa karunugan, narito ang posas ng kalayaang hatid nitong sanaysay sa mga gurong pinalaya ako sa labis na kamangmangan.

At kung sa huling pagkakatao’y ikukulong kayong muli sa pagtupad sa inyong sinumpaang tungkulin bilang guro ng bayan, narito ang aking liham, nawa’y dinggin nitong liham ang mithiin ng guro ng lipunan.

Bilangguro, wala kang sala, kung ang pasasalamat kong ito’y hindi sapat upang palayain ka sa panghuhusga ng lipunan at pamahalaan. Patawad kung sa kababawan ng paksa nila’y ipipiit ka ng walang katarungan.

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SECOND PLACE

Langit sa Usok ng Magulong Maynila NI JERICHO QUIJANO ZAFRA

“Sa Maynila ka nag-aaral? Edi nakapunta ka na sa Luneta?“ “Masaya ba sumakay sa tren? Hindi pa kasi ako nakakasakay dun, eh.” “Siguro ang saya mo sa Maynila? Kasi ang swerte mo naman sa Maynila ka nag-aaral.”

Mga tanong na dumurog sa aking puso habang nakaharap sa larawan ng kamusmusan pagbaba ko ng bus galing Maynila.

Tulad niya, langit din ang turing ko sa Maynila, noon. Gaya niya, nangarap din akong mapuntahan ang Luneta, tila isa itong pribilehiyo sa tulad kong sa probinsya nananahan, ang makapunta sa sikat na huntahan— isang luho para sa mga aba kung ituturing.

Tangan ko ang kamay ng bata, nais kong humikbi at humindi, subalit ayaw kong sirain ang kanyang saya at pangarap na marating ang kalakhang Maynila dahil lang sa miserable ang pananaw ko rito mula noong mapili kong baguhin ang aking kapalaran.

Sa paningin ng mga taga-probinsya gaya ko, Luneta ang pinakamagandang pasyalan, subalit noong narating ko na ito, bakit wala gaano ang masayang naglalakad at nagliligalig sa saya? Bakit ganoon? Ang saya ng Luneta sa larawan, kawangki ng isang paslit sa ginikan matapos umani sa sakahan. Ang lungkot pala nito sa personal. Ang malungkot na katotohanan, dinaraanan lang ito ng

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karamihan papunta sa kani-kaniyang patutunguhan, malayo sa kasaysayan.

Wala na ang sayang nadarama ko noong bata habang nangangarap magpunta sa Luneta. Kalakip nito ay ang pangamba, natatakot ako na malungkot ang bata sa harap ko habang naririnig niya ang aking kwento, pero tulala lamang siya, nagmamaliw. Nawaglit na kaya ang kwento sa likod ng mga estruktura? O sadyang uhaw lamang sa oportunidad ang malalayong nayon na marating ang kamaynilaan?

Nagpatuloy ako sa pakikipag-kwentuhan sa paslit ukol sa aking mga karanasan habang naghihintay ng habal-habal na maghahatid sa akin sa bukid. Naalala ko na nais niyang makasakay sa tren ‘pagkat sa tingin niya masaya ang sumakay dito, ganoon din ako dati. Sambit ko, hindi masaya ang sumakay sa tren: masikip, mabaho, mainit. Pero dito, sa loob ng siksikang bagon na ito, maiintindihan mo ang laban ng sambayanan. Kinakailangan mong indahin ang kasikipan ‘pagkat gaya ng bagon na ito, ito ay ang tunay na mukha ng Maynila.

Siksikan lahat ng tao, mapa-trabahador, kahit mga dukha, siksikan kahit saan.

Bakit? Marahil gaya nating mga aba na tingin sa Maynila ay langit, nangarap tayo ng magandang oportunidad sa lungsod na ito. Na kahit siksikan, kailangan mong lumaban kung may nais kang patunguhan. Gaya ng mga mababahong bagon, ganito rin ang Maynila. Umaalingasaw ang bulok na sistema ng mga tiwali, kung kaya sari-saring amoy ng panunuligsa ang malalasap mo sa maingay na bayan. Mabaho, subalit kailangan mong indahin lalo kung may pangarap kang kailangang tapusin at may lipunan kang nararapat ayusin. Mabaho sa Maynila, subalit kung lalasapin mo ang tunay na amoy nito, ito ang halimuyak ng masa. Ito ang amoy ng ating estado at hindi mo kailangan ng pabango upang baguhin ang amoy ng lipunan, bagkus, kailangan nating linisin ang Maynila at ang iba pang lugmok na bayan - Ang Pilipinas. Kapara ng tren na pangarap sakyan ng inosenteng paslit, mainit sa loob nito. Sa Maynila, kinakailangang

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matatag ka sa pag-inda sa init, tila isa itong representasyon ng kahirapan sa bayan. Bakit? Sa init, doon lamang tumatagal ang mga disipulo ni Satanas, gaya rito sa lugar na ito, na naging pugad ng sala sa dami ng krimen at pagnanakaw na nagaganap lungsod, maraming kawatan. At kung ang init na ito’y hindi mo matatagalan, hindi mo mauunawaan na ang mapaniil na karapatang makamit ang edukasyon ay siyang dahilan kung bakit hindi mabali-bali ang sungay ng kawatan. Tayo’y isinilang bilang kawatan: walang alam, musmos sa batas, at mapagnakaw ng ngiti sa madla.

At sa huli, kung sasambitin ko kung masaya ba ako dahil sa Maynila ako nagaaral base sa huling katanungang ibinato ng paslit, para kong pinukpok ng bato ang aking sarili habang sumasagot ng oo. Narito man ang mga tanyag na unibersidad at dalubhasaan, hindi masayang mag-aral sa Maynila kung malayo ka sa pamilya mong pundasyon mo sa bawat paglaban.

Hindi masayang mag-aral sa Maynila kung mulat ka sa sitwasyon ng bayan, mas pipiliin mong lumaban kesa maging mataas ang antas sa lipunan.

Sapagkat sa kasalukuyan, aminin man natin o hindi, katanyagan, kayamanan, at pwesto ang idinudulot ng edukasyon, lalo kung magpapakain ka sa bayad na karunungan. Sinasampal ako ng katotohanan habang binabayaran ang edukasyong maaari namang matamo ng libre. Nahihiya ako sa aking prinsipyo.

Langit pa nga ba ang Maynila? O isa na lamang maitim na ulap ng kawalan ng pag-asa? Marahil oo, marahil hindi na, pero mananatiling langit ang turing ng batang ito sa lungsod. Sapagkat ang batang kaharap ko ay salamin ng aking pagkatao, at hindi nito aalisin ang pangarap na marating ang Maynila at mabago ang kapalaran ng musmos sa ginikan sa kabila ng kapintasan.

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Mula rito sa mausok na siyudad, tumingala ako sa langit, umaasa na balang araw, matupad ang dalanging mananahan ang langit sa siyudad na tila impyerno na sa dusa.

At naniniwala ako, na isang araw, yuyuko ang langit, at luluhod ang ulap upang ngumiti at magpunyagi sa labang napagtagumpayan ng bayan.

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THIRD PLACE

Ibig kang Napili NI ABIGAIL BUSTOS

Hanap dito, Hanap doon. Nagbabakasakaling makita ang iyong pangalan sa libo-libong pangalang nakapaskil sa isang pisara. Naririnig mo na ang masasayang hiyawan ng iba ngunit hindi mo parin mahanap ang pangalan mo. Umaasa ka na baka namali lang ng spelling sa apelyido mo ngunit wala talaga.

Ilang beses ka nag-abang at naghanap sa mga listahan ng mga nakapasa? Ilang beses ka ba umiyak at napagod? Ilang beses ka nawalan ng pag-asa?

Hanggang ngayon, ‘di mo pa rin nakakalimutan yung mga panahong sobrang bigat ng loob modahil hindi ka nakapasa sa iyong ‘dream school’ o dahil may mga kalagayan na siyang naghadlangsa iyo para hindi ka makapasok sa paaralang nais mong pasukan.

Ngunit sa dinarami-rami ng pinag-applyan mo, hindi mo lubusang akalaing dadalhin ka ng iyongmga paa sa loob ng Intramuros.

Natagpuan mo na lang ang sarili mong nakatingala sa isa sapinakamatandang institusyon sa buong mundo: Ang Colegio de San Juan de Letran.

Kung tatanungin mo ang ilan kung bakit Letran pinili nila, kadalasang

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sasabihin nila na wala nakasi silang maapplyan kaya sa Letran na lang.

O di kaya dito sila itinuro ng paaralang nais nilang pasukan.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung una kang umapak sa mga pasilyo ng Letran? Puno ng pagkalabag ang loob mo sapagkat hindi ito ang mga pasilyo na nais mong lakaran noon. Hindi ito ang pasilyo na nais mong makasama nang ilang taon.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung unang beses kang umikot sa campus ng Letran? Hindi mo rin inakala na ang simpleng facade ay may ihahandog na kagandahan sa loob. Hindi mo lubusang akalain na malawak pala ang espasyo nito. Akala mo noong una, maliit lang siya at hindi ka maliligaw sauna pero binigo ka ng iyong akala.

Minsan ay napaisip ka sa sarili mo, parang kilala mo na ang lahat ng taong nakikita mo sa salon,sa canteen, hindi kasi ganun kalaki ang populasyon ng Letran kaya mabilis kang mapapamilyar sa mga mukha ng mga estudyante at mga empleyado.

Ilang beses ka bang nainggit na sana sa UAAP ka nagchecheer at hindi sa NCAA, Ilang beses mo ring kinumpara ang Letran sa iba’t ibang pamantasan, Ilang beses mo na ring kinasuklaman ang Letran dahil sa iba’t ibang bagay – pinahirapan atpinaiyak ka niya ngunit pinasaya at binuo ka rin niya,

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Hindi man ito kasing yaman o kasing ganda ng ibang pamantasan ngunit meron din kalidad ang mga guro sa Letran Ito rin ang nagmulat sa iyo sa realidad ng mundo, ipinaranas niya sa’yo ang realidad; ang iba’t ibang bagay na hindi maituturo sa loob ng apat na sulok ng silid-aralan.

Ito rin ang nagdala ng puso mo na mas malapit sa Diyos.

Higit sa lahat, ito ang humubog sa’yo; Ang mga pasilyo, ang mga tao sa loob ng Letran, sila ang mga nakasama mo at bumuo sa iyong journey na humubog kung sino ka man ngayon.

Labag man sa kalooban mo ang pagpasok dito ngunit tinanggap ka ng institusyong ito nang buong-buo at binuo ka rin niya. Hindi mo man ibig piliin ang Letran noong una ngunit inibig ka niya at niyakap ka niya nang buong-buo; Darating din ang isang araw na ika’y sumasabak na sa mabilis na paggalaw ng realidad, mapapanginiti ka nang lubusan at maiisip mo na tunay nga ang kasabihan na Letran may not be your first choice but it is the best choice.

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PHOTO BY VILLAMOR ESPIRITU VIA FACEBOOK

MAIKLING KWENTO

PHOTO FROM PHILIPPINE HISTORY AND ARCHITECTURE VIA FACEBOOK

FIRST PLACE

Ito na nga ba ang Huli?

NI ROMMEL BONG FUERTES JR.

Bumubukas na ang pinto, nagsisilaglagan na ang mga puting bulaklak, kailangan ko ng gumawa ng desisyon. Gigising na ba ako? O sasamahan ko siya? Paano ako nakarating dito?

Paano?

Payapa akong natulog kagabi bago nangyari ang lahat ng ito, ginawa ko lahat ng kailangan ko’ng gawin bago magpaalon sa kaantukan. Nagsipilyo, naghilamos, humikab, nagbasa, humikab muli, hanggang sa hindi na ako nagkaroon ng lakas pa na gumalaw. Inanod ako ng tulog. Dinala ako sa isang piyesa ng aking kahapon, malabo ngunit maliwanag. Hindi ko maaninag, at hindi ko rin maipaliwanag.

Magulo.

Hanggang ang alam kong sarili ko ay nawala, ang oras ay isang sirang konsepto na lamang, ang paligid ay iba na sa kasalukuyan. Napadpad ako sa kalye ng Muralla, ngunit wala pa ang mga magagarbong kotse at naglalakihang imprastruktura, pamilyar ang hitsura na parang hindi. Nagpatuloy ang aking pangangamba, itong panaginip na ito’y masyadong totoo. Para bang nanggaling na ako rito. Kulay kape ang aking shorts, mahaba ang aking medyas, suot ko ang aking relo, ngunit pabaliktad ang ikot nito. Dito na ako nakaramdam ng takot. Tumakbo ako sa lugar na alam kong may palikuran, dali dali ang aking karipas papasok ng aking eskwela noon. Letran. Pinigil ako ng gwardiya, ngunit hindi siya ang gwardiya na nagbabantay ngayon sa lugar na ‘yon.

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“Kuya, sige na po… Ah… Um… Taeng tae na ho ako!”

Pinta ang inis sa kaniyang mukha na para bang wala na siyang rason para tumanggi, gumilid na lang siya at ako’y pinaraan. Sa aking pagpasok, mas nalaman ko’ng hindi ito basta lang na panaginip o kathang isip.

Ang lahat ay gaya ng iniwan ko. Naroon pa din ang kilalang catwalk, wala pa ang bagong tayong gusali na para sa mga senior high school, hindi pa nabubuo ang kainan sa itaas ng Salon de Actos… Sa katotohanan nga ay wala pa ang lugar na Salon de Actos doon. Tumayo ang aking balahibo, hindi na talaga ito normal. Sa anumang palagay, wala ni isang impormasyon sa panaginip na ‘yon ay normal.

Hinanap ko ang banyo, at sa aking pagdating, agad na dumiretso sa salamin.

Ang buhok ko’y naka army cut, wari ba’y handang handa para makotongan.

Wala pa akong ni isang buhok sa ibabaw ng aking labi. Maikukumpara ang aking mga kamay sa mga nakatuon na kalansay sa mga laboratoryo. Payatot, uhugin, mukhang numero unong libangan ng mga bully, ako ito… Nung bata. Gulat ang ekspresyong nakapinta sa aking mga mata, hinanda ko ang sarili ko para sa isang makunat na sampal para magising na sa panaginip na ito, ngunit bago ko man pwersahin ang sarili kong bumangon, naisip ko kung hanggang saan ang abot nitong tulog na ito. Huminga ako ng malalim, kinlaro ang aking utak, lumabas ng palikuran at hinanap ang aking silid.

Room 319, doon ako nag-aral noong ako’y nasa ikatlong grado pa lamang.

Pinuntahan ko ito habang tumitingin sa kung saan man, hindi malayo sa katotohanan, ngunit hindi rin malayo sa imahinasyon. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng bumalik sa nakaraan habang tulog at walang inaalala. Pagpasok ko sa silid ay bukas ang ilaw, sarado ang kurtina at tahimik ang paligid, hanggang narinig ko ang isang boses na kailanma’y hindi ko akalaing maririnig ko ulit.

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“Lito, halika na, bilis! Habang wala pa sila Papa!”

Imposible.

Hinila niya ang aking kamay, agaran siyang tumingin sa akin ng harap-harapan.

Biglaan na lang tumugtog ang “Huling El Bimbo”. Pinagdikit niya ang aming mga kamay na para bang kami’y magkasintahan. Sinayaw namin ng walang alinlangan ang El Bimbo.

“Magkahawak ang ating kamay, at walang kamalay-malay,” Pinaikot ko siya at aking sinalo, sabay ang pagsayaw ng aming katawan sa pagkumpas ng aming puso, mariin niyang ipanakita ang kaniyang tuwa at ako’y palihim na ngumingiti, naalala ko ang pangyayaring ‘yun. Ang panahong ‘yon ay isa sa pinakamasasayang panahon ko noong bata ako. Sabay ang tapak ng aming mga paa sa tunog ng musika na para bang kami’y sumasayaw ng walang kahapon.

At sa katotohanan, ay wala na ngang naging kahapon para sa kaniya.

“Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko na umibig ng tunay,” Ang aming mga kamay ay nasa balikat ng isa’t-isa at dahan dahang humiwalay, palayo nang palayo, hanggang sa hindi na namin hawak ang isa’t isa. “Sige na, kailangan ko ng umuwi nandiyan na sila, gusto mo bang sumabay?” Tanong niya.

Tulad ng eksaktong araw na nangyari ‘yon, hindi ako nakasagot. Kumaway siya at lumabas ng silid. Sariwa pa sa isipan ko ang nangyari, at sa aking pag-alala,

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ako’y napasigaw.

“Clara! Sandali!”

Nagising akong naliligo sa pawis. Hinabol ko ang aking paghinga na para bang asong nauulol. Bumalik ako sa totoong buhay. Ang lahat ng nasa panaginip ay wala na, bumalik na sa tamang ikot ang kamay ng orasan. Bumalik ako muli sa kasalukuyan. Sa totoo.

Agad kong inisip ang lahat. Bakit ko siya napanaginipan? Bakit kailangan pa niya na magpakita sa akin? Bakit ang araw na ‘yon? Bakit si Clara?

Noong nangyari ang araw na ‘yon ay hindi ko na siya nakita muli. Narinig ko na lang sa mga kaibigan ko na nahagip ang sasakyan nila ng rumaragasang bus.

Hindi ako naniwala noong una, ngunit nang inanunsyo nila ang libing niya ay hindi magkamayaw ang sakit sa aking dibdib. Mahigit isang linggo akong walang ganang kumain, pinagpapalo pa ako ng nanay ko noon para kumain lang.

“Ikaw bata ka, sinasabi ko sa’yo, ang dami daming nagugutom sa labas tapos ikaw hindi mo kinakain ‘yung nakahain na?!” Noon ay hindi ko pa maintindihan, ngunit alam ko sa sarili ko ngayon na ginawa niya lang ‘yun para sa ikaiigi ko. Ngayon ay nasa kabilang bahay lang siya. Hindi niya naman na ako pinapalo, pero pinipilit niya pa rin akong kumain pag alam niyang pagod ako galing sa trabaho. Nagdadala pa ‘yan ng ulam minsan. Mga nanay nga naman.

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko noon, at sa kalaunan ay nakaahon ako sa emosyonal na pagkasira na nangyari sa’kin. Bata pa noong nangyari ‘yon, ngunit hindi ko

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maitatangging hindi ko maitapon ng lubusan ang alaalang ‘yon.

Sinubukan kong matulog muli ngunit huli na rin ang lahat, oras na rin para mag-ayos para sa trabaho. Naligo ako’t kumain, ng may biglang kumatok sa pinto ko.

“Oh ‘nak, corned beef tsaka bacon, sige na kainin mo na at di ko rin mauubos ‘to.” Nag alinlangan pa ako nung una. “Ma, nagluto na ko dito ng hotdog, okay lang po!” Tinaasan niya ko ng kilay, hudyat ‘yon na kunin ko na lang. “Ito na nga Ma, kukunin na nga, salamat po!” Pabiro ko’ng sinabi, halata ang tuwa sa kaniyang mukha. Alam niya rin kasing bigatin ang trabaho ko sa panahong ‘yon.

Manunulat ako para sa isang diyaryo, at laganap sa panahon na ‘yon ang isyu ng vote-buying kaya’t inatasan akong rumesponde sa mga voting precinct ng Quezon. Medyo minalas-malas pa ako sa lagay na ‘yon dahil sa Cavite ako nakatira. Kapag trip ka nga naman ng boss mo, tatamaan ka talaga ng magaling.

Maaga akong umalis dahil kilala ko ang trapik ng Maynila, at alam ko rin na hindi ‘to nakakatuwa.

Nag abang ako ng bus papuntang SM Fairview at sa awa ng Diyos ay madaling makahanap ng bus tuwing alas siyete ng umaga. Hindi rin matao kung kaya’t nakaupo pa ako ng komportable. Mabagal na nakarating sa pwesto ko ang konduktor. Halatang wala pang tulog at madaling mairita ang manong, “Oh, sa’n ka? Barya lang a, at wala pa kong masusukli ‘rito,” tugon niya. Buti na lang at mayroon akong mga barya barya sa pitaka ko. Hindi nga ata niya binilang kung sakto ba o hindi ang bayad ko, basta inabot niya sa’kin ang tiket. Kulang at naputol ang aking tulog kaya’t naisipan kong isara ang aking mga mata, ngunit sa aking pagsubok na makait ang tulog, magkahalong takot at pagtataka ang

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nasa isip ko. Bumangga bangga pa ang ulo ko sa balikat ng katabi ko, gininaw pa ako sa mala-Antarctica na aircon ng aking sinasakyan pero nakatulog rin ako makalipas ang ilang minuto.

Bumalik ako. Sa Kalye Muralla.

Hindi ko na inisip kung bakit naroon na naman ako sa araw na ‘yon.

Naramdaman ko na lang ang sarili ko’ng may hinahanap. May inaasam maramdaman ulit. May nais iparating. Tumakbo ulit ako sa loob ng eskwela, paspasang hinanap ang room 319. Aawatin pa sana ako ng gwardiya pero sinabi ko ulit na kailangan ko’ng gamitin ang palikuran. Sa bawat karipas ko, nakikita ko sa gilid ng aking paningin ang mga estudyanteng tinititigan ang aking bawat hakbang. Pagdating ko sa kwarto, narinig ko muli ang boses niya.

“Lito, halika na, bilis! Habang wala pa sila Papa!”

Hinila niya akong muli at tumunog na naman ang instrumento nina Buddy Zabala at Raymund Marasigan, sumunod ang boses ni Ely Buendia.

Memorisado at kalkulado ang aming sayaw na para bang inensayo namin ito sa bawat araw na dumaan, ngunit ang tuwa ko’y unti-unting napipintahan ng pait, alam ‘kong panaginip lamang ito at matatapos ito sa paraan kung paano natapos ito noon. Napupuno ng galak ang kaniyang mukha na para ba’ng ito lang ang ninais niya sa buhay, ang sumayaw sa murang edad kasama ako.

Noong nagkamayaw ang aming mga baywang sa paggalaw ay dumiretso siya sa pinto at nagpaalam. Tinanong niya akong muli kung nais ko ba na sumabay sa kanila, hinawakan ko ang kaniyang kamay. Alam kong lahat ng ito’y malayo sa totoong buhay at hindi nito mababago ang kasalukuyan kaya’t wala akong ibang nasabi kundi “mag-iingat kayo, ha?”. At noong sinabi ko ‘yun ay nginitian niya

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ako, hindi ko naalalang lumingon siya sa’kin ng gano’n noong araw na iyon.

“Sana sa susunod makasabay ka na sa’min…”

Naiwan akong nakatitig habang siya’y papalabas, nagunaw ang kwarto, naiwan ako’ng nakatayo ng tuwid. Hindi makagalaw, hindi makapagsalita.

“OH PHILCOA NA, PHILCOA, ‘YUNG MGA BABABA DIYAN, BUMABA NA.” Ang gumising sa aking diwa. Bumalik na ako sa katotohonan, oras na para magtrabaho, ngunit ang isip ko’y naroon pa rin, sa silid 319, sa lugar kung saan huling tumapak si Clara bago siya lumisan.

Pagbaba ko’y dumiretso ako sa lugar kung saan ako inatasang magbalita.

Pinanood ko ng maigi ang mga pangyayari, ang mga tao’y nakapila sa initan, nagtitiis ng hirap para maihalal ang taong sa tingin nila’y dapat. Sa bandang labas ng mga presinto ay nakita ko ang iba’t-ibang mga taong nag-aabutan ng sobre sa bawat botanteng dumadaan. Sakto, storya na ‘to.

“Vote-buying nagaganap sa Quezon… Ah, hindi… Kumpirmadong may mga kandidatong bumibili ng boto sa QC… Hindi, hindi… Mga botante, namataang tumatanggap ng pera mula sa mga kandidato… Hindi…”

Nawala ang aking pokus sa pagsusulat, wala ang aking isip sa pagtatrabaho, hindi ako nakabuo ng storya, ginambala ako ng panaginip. Ginambala ba ako ng hindi totoo, o ginambala ako ng kahapon? Alin man doon ay hindi ako napakali sa kung nasaan man ako.

Huminga ako ng malalim, pumikit ng madiin, pinilit ko na magtrabaho at magsulat. Nang nakuha ko na muli ang aking buwelo, sinimulan ko ang storya,

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ang mga mata ko’y nakasentro sa abutan ng pera, ang aking mga kamay ay bumuo ng balitang dapat malaman ng taongbayan. Nahirapan, ngunit nagawa pa rin na para ba’ng nakadisenyo ulit ako sa dapat ko’ng gawin. Magtrabaho.

Inabot ako ng uhaw noong kumagat na ang dilim, bumili ako ng tubig sa isang tindahang malapit sa hintayan ng bus, pauwi na rin naman ako at dapat lang na pumuwesto na ‘ko sa lugar kung saan makakasakay ako agad. Inagapan ko ang aking uhaw sa bawat lagok. Sapat na ‘to, sabi ko sa sarili ko dahil alam ko’ng may luto na naman ang nanay ko pag-uwi. Bago ako magpara ng masasakyan ay namataan ko ang isang batang babaeng hila hila ng kaniyang ina.

“Bilisan mo na! Hinihintay na tayo ng Papa mo!” Ako’y napatitig na para ba’ng alam ko na ang kahahantungan ng pangyayaring ‘yon. Umiling ako at tumawa ng mahina. Masyado akong nilaro ng pag-iisip ko.

Nakasakay ako ng bus, matao at siksikan, amoy ang pagod sa katawan ng mga taong naroon. Ganu’n talaga pag uwian, wala ka rin namang ibang magagawa kung hindi isipin na makakauwi rin naman pagkatapos ng lahat. Narinig ko ang kulog sa gitna ng mga nag-iingayang kotse sa daan, pabuhos ang ulan, at halata ito sa mala-kahel na ulap na nakaibabaw sa daan. Tinatamaan ako ng pagod at unti-unting napapapikit habang nakatayo. Napansin yata ako ng mamang nakaupo sa harap ko, “Hijo, umupo ka na dito ng makatulog ka, mukhang pagod na pagod ka,” alok niya.

Nahiya man ay umupo pa rin ako tulak ng pagod at sakit na rin ng aking mga paa. Pagkapikit na pagkapikit ko ay inasahan ko’ng mapapadpad muli ako sa kalye ng Muralla, ngunit hindi nangyari ‘yon. Mahimbing ako’ng nakatulog ng itim lang ang aking nakikita. Sa madaling sabi, ang tulog na ‘yon sa aking paguwi ay tulog lang at walang panaginip. Maayos ang lahat, at pakiramdam ko’y

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nakapagpahinga ako ng maayos. Hindi ko inisip si Clara, hindi ko inisip ang kahapon, tanging pagpikit lang ng mata ang nasa utak ko.

Hanggang sa narinig ko ang mga tao na nagsigawan, narinig ko ang gulong ng bus na nagpumilit tumigil. Sinubukan ko’ng dumilat ngunit hindi ko magawa, para bang may humihila sa akin papalayo sa paggising. Naramdaman ko’ng nagbagsakan ang mga tao sa bus, at naramdaman ko’ng may bumagsak sa aking ulo ngunit hindi ako nakaramdam ng sakit, hindi ko rin naramdaman ang pagsirit ng aking dugo, kung meron man, ang tanging nangyari lang ay napadpad ako sa silid kung nasaan si Clara. Hindi sa Muralla, hindi sa unahan ng Letran, sa loob mismo ng kwartong 319.

“Kamukha mo si Paraluman…”

Tumugtog muli ang kanta ngunit hindi ako tinawag ni Clara. Hindi niya ako niyayang sumayaw, tanging tingin lang ng mga mata namin ang nagkakaintindihan.

“Ngunit ang paborito ay pagsayaw mo ng El Bimbo…”

Agad ko siyang nilapitan. Pinagdikit ko ang aming mga kamay at sabay na gumalaw sa bawat hampas ng tambol. Dahan-dahan kaming nalunod sa musika at ang aming mga katawan ay sumabay sa bawat tono.

Hinawakan niya ang aking balikat at sabay kaming gumalaw. Paa sa kanan, paa sa kaliwa. Ito ang aming sayaw, at sa bawat oras na ginawa namin ito ay hindi kami kailanman nagkamali, mapa-panaginip man, o mapa-noon pa.

“Lito, paborito mo pa rin ba ang kantang ito?”

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Tanong niya sa akin, hindi na ako nagulat, bagkus ay sinagot ko na lamang siya ng tungo ng aking ulo.

“Ano kaya ang mangyayari kung hindi kami umuwi ng ganoon kaaga, ano?”

Naramdaman ko ang aking mga luha na unti-unting pumapatak na para ba’ng unang ulan ng Mayo. Ano nga kaya ang mangyayari? Hindi ko nasagot ang tanong nya na ‘yon. Tinuloy na lang namin ang aming sayaw, walang pipigil sa amin, at kung meron man, ay hindi ang paggising ko ang magiging sanhi nu’n.

Nakarinig ako ng boses sa malayo, boses ng nanay ko na tila ba’y nagkukumahog sa pag-iyak. “Lito, ‘nak! Gising! Gumising ka na, please!

Nagluto ang nanay ng paborito mong ulam, alam ko’ng pagod ka. Anak please, gumising ka na!”

Doon ko napagtanto na baka nasa huling hantungan na ako, ngunit tuloy pa rin ang sayaw namin. Ang aking mga tenga’y nakikinig sa iyak at pagpupumilit ng aking nanay, pero ang aking mga mata’y nakatitig pa rin kay Clara.

Napakaganda. Napakainosente. Napakaraming kayang ibahagi sa mundo kung hindi lang namaalam ng ganoon kaaga.

Umabot na sa huling koro ang kanta, narinig ko ang mga katagang kailanman ay hindi ko malilimutan mula sa obrang ‘yon.

“Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw,” Tumigil ako, at tumigil rin siya. Ang aming kamay ay nagkalayo.

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Nandito na tayo. Kung saan ako nagsimula kanina.

Nagmistulang ulan ang pagbagsak ng mga bulaklak, binuksan niya ang pinto ng silid. Aalis na siya, ito na ang parteng ‘yon pero ngayon, para bang may maaari akong gawin.

“Lito…”

Inabot niya ang kaniyang kamay sa akin. Ako’y naiwang nakatitig sa kaniyang palad.

“Sasabay ka ba?”

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PHOTO BY ROMMEL SERANNO VIA FACEBOOK

SECOND PLACE

TrAYsikel

NI ANGELA ANN GABRIEL-IBARRIENTOS

Araw-araw akong sumasakay sa traysikel namin.

Si tatay ang nagmamaneho ng traysikel papunta ng school.

Simula nung kinder palang ako siya na ang naghahatid sa akin, kahit ngayon na grade 1 na ako.

Magbababay ako kay Nanay mula sa bahay at sasakay sa likuran ng tatay sa aming traysikel.

Ang traysikel namin ang pinakamaganda sa lahat ng traysikel na nakita ko, kulay silver ang kabuuan nito, pula naman ang bubong at iba pang mga disenyo, nakasulat din ang pangalan ko at ng nanay ko sa harapan nito.

Ito ang “the best-est traysikel� sa buong mundo!

Mas gusto kong nauupo sa likuran ni tatay, kasi nakikita ko ang itsura ko mula sa salamin ng kanyang manibela, masarap langhapin ang sariwang hangin mula sa mga nadadaanan naming mga halaman at hindi ako nauuntog kapag may lubak sa daan.

Para akong lumilipad pag nakasakay ako sa likuran ni tatay. Sabi nya pikit lang daw ako tapos imagine ko na lumilipad ako.

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Na lumilipad kami papunta ng Iloilo, sa mga lola ko.

Papunta ng Disneyland!

Minsan makikita ni tatay na nakatingin ako mula sa kanyang salamin, at gagawa ng nakakatawang mukha.

Hindi buo ang araw ko kapag hindi si tatay ang naghahatid-sundo sa akin gamit ang aming traysikel.

“Angelo! Ang baon mo”, sigaw ng nanay.

Nakalimutan ko palang kunin ang baon ko.

Magaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag papasok ako ng school kasi alam kong si tatay ang maghahatid sa akin… pero iba ngayon.

Hay. Si kuya Marlon, ‘yung kapitbahay namin na may traysikel din ang maghahatid sa akin sa school.

May sakit kasi si tatay, simula kahapon pa. Nilalagnat daw siya.

Buti na lang may maghahatid sa akin.

Pero iba parin kapag si tatay ang maghahatid.

Di katulad ng kapag si tatay ang naghahatid, sa loob ng traysikel ni Kuya Marlon ako nakaupo kasabay ng iba pang bata sa barangay namin.

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Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko, parang ayaw ko pumasok.

Masikip sa loob ng traysikel ni Kuya Marlon.

Di ako makahinga, walang hangin sa loob. Siksikan kami.

Nauuntog untog ako kapag may lubak. Hindi ko rin masilip ang mukha ko mula sa salamin ng manibela ni kuya Marlon. Palagi pa siyang nakasimangot.

Buong araw akong walang gana sa school. Iniisip ko parin ang tatay.

Kailan kaya siya gagaling?

Sabi ni nanay pupunta daw sila ng ospital ngayon.

Sana pagkauwi ko magaling na siya.

Sana siya ang sasalubong sa akin paglabas ko mamaya.

Sana nandun siya para yayain ako kumain ng fishball‌ o kaya ng lugaw na tiglilimampiso. “Kriing!! Kriiing!â€?

Yehey! Uwian na.

Kanina ko pa hinihintay mag-uwian, naku ang daming naglalabasan sa gate ng school namin. Baka hindi ako makita ni tatay.

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Hindi ko siya makita.

“Eksyusmee! Eksyusme! Padaan!”

Hay, buti at nakalagpas ako sa dami ng mga naglalabasan sa gate.

Nasaan si tatay?

Hindi ko makita ang traysikel namin.

“Angelo! Angelo!”, si kuya Marlon pala.

Siya pala ang nagsundo sa akin.

Bumigat ang pakiramdam ko.

Malungkot akong sumakay sa loob ng masikip niyang traysikel, kasabay ng mga bata kanina.

Lahat sila nanlilimahid, tanggal ang mga butones sa blouse at pasinghotsinghot pa.

Hay, nakakainis.

Sana sa traysikel na lang namin ako nakasakay.

Sana magaling na si tatay.

Pagdating ko ng bahay wala si nanay, wala din si tatay.

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Si lola lang ang kasama ko.

Hay, saan kaya sila nagpunta?

“Kumain ka na ng hapunan, mam’ya darating na din ang nanay at tatay mo galing sa ospital”, wika ng Lola.

Dali-dali naman akong pumunta sa hapag-kainan, pero di ko rin naubos ang pagkain ko.

“Arf! Arf!”, tahol nanaman nang tahol si Jake, ang malaki naming aso.

Sabi ng lola nandito na ang tatay at nanay.

Takbo naman ako papunta sa pintuan.

“Nay! Tay!”, yakap ko sa kanila.

Hinalikan nila ako pareho sa noo at dumiretso sila sa kanilang kuwarto.

Hinatid ako ni nanay sa kuwarto ko at sinubukan patulugin.

“Nay, magaling na po ba si tatay? Mahahatid na po ba niya ako bukas sa school?”, tanong ko kay nanay.

Nangilid lang ang luha ni nanay.

Sabi niya sa akin, matagal pa daw gagaling si tatay.

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Meron daw siyang kanser.

Siguro mahirap mawala ‘yung sakit na ‘yun kasi umiyak na si nanay nang umiyak at umalis siya sa kuwarto ko pagkasabi niya nun hanggang sa di ko namalayan, nakatulog na pala ako.

Kakaiba ang naging panaginip ko kagabi.

Meron daw isang malaking malaking monster, at ang pangalan daw niya ay kanser.

Hula ko, siya ang monster na dahilan bakit may sakit ang tatay ko.

Kinuha ko ang laser sword ko na niregalo ng tatay sakin noong pasko.

Sabi nya gamitin ko daw ito pag natatakot ako.

Nilabas ko ‘yung laser sword ko, kinumpas ko sa kaliwa at sa kanan! Sabay hinati ko sa gitna ‘yung nakakatakot na monster na ‘yun.

At nagising ako.

Pagkatapos ko magbihis ng uniform ko, pinuntahan ko si tatay sa kuwarto niya.

Iba ang itsura niya.

Medyo parang inaantok ang itsura niya, parang pagod na pagod siya.. nanghihina.

Sabi niya lumapit daw ako sa kanya.

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Nilabas ko ‘yung laser sword ko.

Sabi ko, “Tatay, wag ka mag-alala ililigtas kita sa monster na ‘yun! Gagaling ka!”

Natawa ang tatay, di siguro sya naniniwala sa akin.

Sabi nya magpapagaling daw siya, sabi nya ihahatid nya din daw ako sa school pag magaling na sya.

“Yey!”, sabi ko sa sobrang tuwa. Nagmano na ako at nagpaalam.

Ibinilin ko sa kaniya ang laser sword ko para pag umatake ang monster gamitin niya ito.

Dahil dun, masaya akong sumakay sa traysikel ni Kuya Marlon.

Masaya akong nakipag-siksikan sa mga batang kasabay ko sa traysikel.

Masaya ako kahit na hindi ko parin makita ang sarili ko sa salamin sa manibela ni Kuya Marlon.

Ayos lang, sabi naman ni tatay gagaling siya at sasakay ako ulit sa “the best-est traysikel” sa buong mundo!

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PHOTO BY ROMMEL SERANNO VIA FACEBOOK

THIRD PLACE

K[AR]ANG[AL]AN

NI JOANNA FLORES

“W-welcome to.. Colegio de S-san J-juan de Letran..” dahan-dahang binasa ni Tatay Noel ang karatulang nakapaskil sa gate ng Letran. Tila hindi siya sigurado kung tama ba ang pagkakabigkas niya sa mga salita. “’Tay, tara na! Tinatawag na ‘yung mga mag-aaral sa grade 1, ayun ‘yata ang titser ko.” pag-anyaya ng kanyang anak na si Neal habang itinuturo ang grounds kung saan maraming naka-hilerang upuan.

Ngumiti na lamang si Tatay Noel sa excitement ng anak at nagpatianod dito.

Hindi mapigilang mamangha ni Neal nang nagsimula na ang program at napanood niyang sumayaw ang cheering squad.

“Grabe, Tay! Dati sa baranggay lang tayo nanonood ng ganitong mga akrobatiks.” manghang sabi ni Neal.

Humalakhak lamang si Tatay Noel at ginulo ang buhok ng anak. Sa isip isip niya, mabuti na lamang at nagkaroon siya ng sapat na ipon para sa isang prestihiyosong paaralan gawa ng ilang taong pagtyatyaga niya sa trabaho.

Natapos ang inihandang programa at inanyayahan ang lahat na libutin ang paaralan. Napatalon sa tuwa si Neal at kumapit sa braso ng katabing ama.

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“Tay, ano kaya ang pakiramdam na mag-aral? O di kaya ang makakilala ng ibang tao? Masusungit ba ang mga titser, Tay? Natatakot akong mapahiya kasi mahina ako sa pagbabasa. Paano kaya ‘yun ‘Tay?” sunod sunod na tanong ni Neal na hindi mapakali sa nalalapit na pasukan.

Hindi sumagot si Tatay Noel at nginitian lamang ang anak. Nahinto ang kanilang usapan nang tinawag na ang mga mag-aaral para pumasok sa loob ng kanilang silid-aralan.

Bago tuluyang makapasok sa loob ay huminto si Tatay Noel at lumuhod sa harap ng kanyang anak.

“Neal, anak, pasensya ka na kung hindi ko masagot ang mga tanong mo kanina.

Dahil gaya mo, ito ang unang beses na mag-aaral ako. At gaya ng pangako ko, sabay nating pag-aaralan kung paano bumasa at sumulat. Sabay nating ididiskubre ang lahat.” naluluhang sambit ni Tatay Noel at ngumiti sa guro na nasa loob ng silid-aralan.

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Christian Angelo Jacinto

Jacinto has worked for six years as a sports journalist, both in print and online, with Manila Bulletin and spin.ph. He is currently the Country Editor for the Philippines in ONE Championship.

John Remil Isaga

Isaga is an AB Journalism graduate from University of the Philippines - Diliman.

He currently works as a sports stringer for Rappler, writing news and features stories on Philippine and international beats, including the UAAP, NCAA, Gilas Pilipinas, Chooks-To-Go 3x3, PBA, and boxing.

Cyndi C. Samaniego

Cyndi Samaniego has been serving Letran for many years, as former full-time faculty in Letran - Manila and now as Junior High School principal in Letran Bataan. She took her Bachelor of Secondary Education - Major in Filipino and M.A. Ed sa Pagtuturo ng Filipino degrees in Philippine Normal University.

Judges

Editorial Board

2019-2020

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & SPORTS EDITOR ALYSSA AQUINO ASSOCIATE EDITOR & FEATURES EDITOR MEILINDA MALACAT MANAGING EDITOR ETHAÑA RAMONES NEWS EDITOR CHANTAL MACARAEG MULTIMEDIA EDITOR PATRICK ROMERO DESIGN EDITOR ELDRICK NOLASCO

Mr. Anton Vincenz Tantoco Adviser