Mirror Spring 2014

Spring 2014 • Vol. 3 Issue 1

SOVIET

STYLE REPRESSION HERE IN THE USA

IS Vladimir PUTIN LIGHT IN THE LOAFERS? ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

• Gay Rights in the Most Conservative States • Uganda Be Kidding Me • The Plight of LGBT Jamaicans FEATURES:

• B: The Forgotten Letter • Celebrity Bisexuals • The History of Tattoos media:

• Stylish. Sexy. Smart. 3 Gay Actors • Singers Matt Zarley & Ralph Solo Books:

• Beards: The Unshaved History • The Best LGBT Books of Spring

themirrormag.com

Spring 2014 | Vol 3 | Issue 1

Table of contents

2520 N. Dixie Highway | Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone: 954.530.4970 Fax: 954.530.7943

Publisher NORM KENT norm.kent@sfgn.com

Opinions & Columns

Chief Executive Officer PIER ANGELO GUIDUGLI Associate Publisher JASON PARSLEY jason.parsley@sfgn.com

Publisher’s Message | 3 The Debate Over PrEP | 4 - 5 History of Tattoos | 6 My Day Judging Wine | 8 - 9 My First Time | 10 Czar Vladimir the Viril | 28 - 29

EDITORIAL Art Director DAVE GRIFFITHS artwork@sfgn.com Web Producer DENNIS JOZEFOWICZ dennis.jozefowicz@sfgn.com

Special Features: Bisexuals

Managing Editor MIKE ANGUILLE mike.anguille@sfgn.com

Highlighting the ‘B’ in LGBT | 12 - 13 Short List of Celebrity Bisexuals | 14 - 16

Social Media Director DANIEL ALVAREZ daniel.alvarez@sfgn.com Staff Photographer J.R. DAVIS

News Features

CORRESPONDENTS CHRISTIANA LILLY GARY M. KRAMER J.W. ARNOLD BIL BROWNING DENISE ROYAL

Gay & Mormon: Affirmation | 20 Soviet Style Repression | 22 - 23 Gay Rights in Red States | 18 The Rising Cost of HIV Care | 46

SALES & MARKETING

International Features

Director of Sales MIKE TROTTIER & Marketing mike.trottier@sfgn.com

A Look at Jamaican Gays | 24 Uganda Criminalizes Gays | 26 - 27

Sales Manager JUSTIN WYSE justin.wyse@sfgn.com Advertising Sales Assoc. EDWIN NEIMANN edwin.neimann@sfgn.com

People & Profiles

Advertising Sales Assoc. ADRAIN EVANS adrain.evans@sfgn.com

Sean Strub: POZ Magazine Founder | 44

Actors

Joe Komara | 48 Sal Infantino | 50 Andrew Glaszek | 51

Sales Assistant JASON GONZALES jason.gonzales@sfgn.com

Singers

Distribution Services BRIAN SWINFORD J.R. DAVIS

Ralph Solo | 54 Matt Zarley | 52

Printing THE PRINTER’S PRINTER National Advertising RIVENDELL MEDIA 212-242-6863 sales@rivendellmedia.com

Lifestyles

Accounting Services CG BOOKKEEPING

Nine Ways to Get Richer | 32 Introducing Mark Moon’s Fitness | 42 Favorite Books of the Quarter | 36 - 37 Check Out Our 5 Coupes | 34 - 35 Gay Days Goes West | 30

Coffee Table Sexy & Erotic History of Beards | 40 - 41

Cover “The Putin Memorial”

Designed by Art Director, Dave Griffiths

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SASHA RAZUMIKHIN TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER JOHN MCDONALD DAVID-ELIJAH NAHMOD MARK MOON

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would like to welcome Mark Moon Fitness to our correspondents.

Pg. 42

The Mirror is published quarterly. The opinions expressed in columns, stories, and letters to the editor are those of the writers. They do not represent the opinions of The Mirror or the Publisher. You should not presume the sexual orientation of individuals based on their names or pictorial representations in The Mirror. Furthermore the word “gay” in The Mirror should be interpreted to be inclusive of the entire LGBT community. All of the material that appears in The Mirror, both online at www.themirrormag.com, and in our print edition, including articles used in conjunction with the Associated Press and our columnists, is protected under federal copyright and intellectual property laws, and is jealously guarded by the newspaper.

Nothing published may be reprinted in whole or part without getting written consent from the Publisher of The Mirror, Norm Kent, at Norm@ NormKent.com. The Mirror is published by the South Florida Gay News. It’s a private corporation, and reserves the right to enforce its own standards regarding the suitability of advertising copy, illustrations and photographs.

Copyright © 2014, South Florida Gay News.com, Inc.

Associated Press Florida Press Association National Gay and Lesbian Journalists Association

David Vance

Publisher’s Message Stopping By the Woods on a Spring Evening

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Norm Kent

nce again, the Mirror reflects our lives.

From profiling an HIV advocacy group to the founder of POZ magazine, our writers touch base with timely and telling stories in this finely tuned issue of the Mirror.

Now I love the coffee table books and the visual displays of homoeroticism. They lend a little spice and kick to each issue. In addition, they remind me of the way I used to look.

Ok, ok, let me rephrase that. They remind me of the way I used to think I looked. As you reach the sunset, the daylight always seemed finer than it may have been. Anyway, our Mirror is more than a visual display. It is a conscientious and content driven magazine.

Once again, in this issue you will find a source message. If there is a theme, it goes to individualism within a community that already prizes individuality. It asserts a willingness to stand naked against the cannon.

It’s one thing to be gay in San Francisco or Wilton Manors. It’s a little bit tougher to be gay on Red Square in Moscow, or apparently in Phoenix, Arizona. But Gay Days are headed their way. We write about it.

This issue also profiles gay rights group in conservative venues and gay Mormons, who apparently have their own award winning musical this year, which had a successful South Florida run.

America’s LGBT community is winning our rights from coast to coast, but they have not been set in stone. We are still kind of punching our way barefoot up a muddy mountain. We know we will get there, but our feet are going to get dirty and wet. Hey, some of you might like that anyway.

It’s ok. We are in it for the ride, the good or bad. There is no turning back the clock, no matter what Arizona, Kansas or an occasional jerk off politician wants to do. We will just do them in, or more likely, bring them out. Most importantly, let’s just win them over.

Celebrate gay pride in South Florida along Wilton Drive in the Manors or by A1A in Miami Beach and you can lose sight of what it is like to be an advocate where homophobia poisons a county. Take part this summer in the gay games in Cleveland, which SFGN sponsors, and you forget how much homophobia impacts the NFL. Be thankful for the little steps and the Michael Sams of the world.

Celebrate how far we have come nationally and you can forget how far we have to go still internationally. Our journey is unfulfilled. Our mission is still unaccomplished. Our sails must still be set.

In May, America will release a Harvey Milk commemorative stamp. In parts of Africa, like Uganda, the Harvey Milks of this world are still being murdered. In the past few months, we have heard of gays being tortured in Kenya, Nigeria, and Cameroon.

It may be a different world here, but please don’t get too comfortable anywhere.

Don’t celebrate too much on North Halstead Street in Chicago while gays are still being castrated in Cameroon.

The tides of injustice ripple still in parts unknown and places unpleasant. From Muslim practices in Iran to monstrous regulations in Moscow, we have to remember we are not alone. We have brothers and sisters suffering from continent to continent, simply because of whom they love. They are us, and we are them. We must be willing to endure any burden, overcome every hardship, and challenge each horror to secure freedom for gays everywhere.

So too is the world of HIV markedly different in communities outside the U.S. We are no longer fighting people with AIDS. We are fighting AIDS, with doctors, treatment plans, community agencies and pharmacies. Once, that was not so.

There are still places in this world though where an HIV diagnosis is a death sentence for lack of treatment centers. There are venues where HIV is still a vehicle for discrimination and disgrace. That is universally unacceptable, and members of the LGBT community must stand up and speak out against it, as the AIDS Healthcare Foundation has done so well for us worldwide.

Welcome then to the Mirror, where on these pages our lives are reflected with cool tattoos, fine wines, fast cars, great books, and entrepreneurial financiers.

Welcome, too, to the Mirror where on these pages you will find places where pain still trumps promise, where evil spirits still drown out beach parties, and where wrong still corrupts right.

Welcome to your life, which still has causes to be fought, battles to be won, and miles to go before you sleep. •

For more information Check Out SPRING 2014 •

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OPINION

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The Sound and Fury of the PrEP Debate (and the Facts to Win It)

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hen the drug Truvada achieved FDA approval in July of 2012 as a medication to prevent HIV infection among people who are negative (a strategy known as pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP), it’s as if the ghosts of naysayers from the 1960’s rose from their resting places, delighted and re-energized, and began drilling their mid-century objections into the hearts and minds of contemporary society.

Maybe proponents of PrEP like myself believed the response to the drug would be more enthusiastic. Surely anyone who lived through the horror of early AIDS would thank God that a new prevention strategy exists that doesn’t rely upon condoms alone. The fury of the response has been a little startling to me.

Fortunately, Facebook groups and online sites that explain the facts about PrEP are springing up everywhere to address misinformation and to clarify legitimate areas of concern. Here are the most persistent objections to PrEP, and the facts as we know them.

People wouldn’t need PrEP if they would use condoms. They just want to bareback.

Studies show that people on PrEP do not have an increase in high risk sexual behavior, but cynics have visions of wanton orgies ahead worthy of vintage gay porn. Alas, what others do in their sex lives is out of our control, whether that drives people up the wall or not.

The facts are these: more than half of gay men do not use condoms or do not use them consistently. This fact has remained true throughout the 30 years condom use has been measured among gay men, including during the darkest years of the AIDS crisis. We can address 50,000 new infections a year or we can have a useless moral debate.

The lack of condom use is what makes PrEP so exciting as a prevention method. The very first large

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study of Prep was the iPrEX Study, an international study of 2,500 people that was comprised mostly of gay men and some transgender women. The study showed that people who use Truvada as PrEP correctly (taking a pill every day) can have their risk reduced by 90 percent or more, depending on adherence. Some models show an efficacy rate of up

to 99 percent based on near-perfect adherence.

PrEP is also not dependent on last minute decisions in the heat of passion. Taking a pill in the morning is calmly detached from having sex that night.

PrEP is not necessarily an either/or proposition, because lots of people taking PrEP are also using condoms. But let’s be real. Most people seeking out

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PrEP already don’t use condoms or they don’t want to use them anymore. Since they are trading one prevention device for something that has a better success rate and is easier to use, what’s it to you?

We don’t know the side effects of Truvada. We have years of data of Truvada side effects on people with HIV (it’s been FDA approved to treat HIV since 2004). Truvada was selected for clinical trials as a PrEP drug because of its favorable safety profile.

It is true that there are some reports of bone density and kidney problems among people with HIV using Truvada as part of their treatment regimen. These side effects have sometimes been serious. We can’t assume the experience of HIV negative people will be the same, and that’s why Truvada patients, positive and negative, should be routinely tested for bone density and kidney function.

More and more HIV negative writers and bloggers (and even a gay porn star) are sharing their experiences on PrEP but, thus far, side effects haven’t been part of their story.

Watching them share their progress publicly over time should be quite interesting.

Understanding side effects is part of the assumed risk we take with medications, as any television commercial for a pharmaceutical drug will attest.

If you don’t want to cough up blood, for instance, or have bloody stools or nausea or a ringing in your ears, don’t take aspirin. Those side effects are uncommon, and so are the side effects for Truvada.

People taking PrEP also have the option of discontinuing Truvada depending on life events and necessity. Maybe you stop dating the HIV positive guy, or take a break from casual sex, or return to condoms for a while. Starting and stopping the drug in this way does not lead to resistance as long as a medical professional verifies you are HIV negative before restarting.

If you are wary of Truvada side effects, don’t use it. And allow others to make that same determination for themselves.

PrEP is too expensive and insurance won’t cover it. This argument is losing steam rapidly. The Affordable Care Act in the United States is underway and by all accounts every insurance company as well as Medicaid is covering Truvada — although it may require pre-authorization from a doctor for use as PrEP (the CDC has produced a handy document available online to help explain PrEP to your physician).

For those without insurance or money for a co-pay, Gilead (the maker of Truvada) has a patient assistance program that can provide the drug outright or supply co-pay cards worth up to $200 per month. Even if none of this were true, the potential benefits of a drug should not be assessed solely by its price tag.

The people who need it most can’t access it anyway so what’s the point?

It’s a good thing we don’t have this attitude towards condoms. Access isn’t the same as efficacy.

But it is certainly true that young gay black men, whom the epidemic is affecting in shocking numbers, have less access to healthcare. This is a systemic problem and it is unfair, frankly, to expect PrEP to solve it. It is also true that PrEP can be an occasion for HIV negative people to seek care, and once on PrEP they are typically required to have medical follow-ups throughout the year, which offers obvious benefits.

The biggest hurdle is often physicians themselves. HIV negative people may have a doctor unfamiliar with HIV care, much less PrEP, and those doctors are often intimidated by what they see as the complexities of HIV treatment.

Until more professional education is done, potential PrEP users must learn to advocate for themselves and share CDC recommendations with their doctor.

People won’t adhere to PrEP and that will create resistant strains. It is true that in some early PrEP trials adherence was a problem. Real life behaviors, though, differ from clinical trials in some important ways.

Trial participants have no idea if they are taking the actual drug or not, and in trials the efficacy of the drug hasn’t even been proven. So, the commitment of trial participants to stay adherent to the drug is less rigorous than users today, who know that the drug works, know they’re getting the real thing, and are invested

in remaining HIV negative. People taking PrEP today have more skin in the game, as it were.

For those who do miss the occasional dose, Truvada is somewhat forgiving. The protective ability of the drug doesn’t drop if you miss a single dose because Truvada remains in the blood for up to 72 hours (compare that to missing a condom occasionally, which CDC statistics show to be as risky as never using them at all).

That being said, it is optimal and recommended that Truvada be taken consistently each day, and users should take seven daily doses for Truvada to achieve optimal protection.

Taking Truvada alone when a PrEP user doesn’t know they are already positive can lead to resistance and significantly reduce treatment options.

Resistance has not been found with individuals who were verified HIV negative at the time they started Truvada, but it has happened in people who became HIV positive due to low adherence.

PrEP is just putting money into the pockets of pharmaceuticals when we have cheaper solutions. I can’t imagine anyone telling HIV positive people not to take their medications because their drugs are making profits for Big Pharma. The argument that HIV negative people aren’t worth a fraction of that investment astounds me. I suppose we should wait until negative people get infected before it’s okay for them make a profit for the drug companies.

And those are the facts as we know them about PrEP. I have no delusions that the debate will calm any time soon, of course. Human nature is far too predictable for that.

Just recently, politician Mike Huckabee addressed a gathering of fellow Republicans. Part of his remarks, delivered half a century after The Pill was approved for contraception, was his belief that “smart” women don’t need the government “providing them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido.”

Right. Because birth control, as critics have been saying since 1960, would be unnecessary if women only showed some restraint and didn’t behave like barebacking sluts.

Everything old is new again.

Mark S. King produces the award winning video blog MyFabulousDisease. com about life as an HIV positive addict in recovery. He can be reached at Mark@marksking.com. •

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SPRING 2014 •

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FEATURE

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nce upon a time, in the early 80’s, I was in Brazil with my boss and our local rep who, during a week end, took us to the famous Copacabana Beach for sun, fun and people watching. Somehow the conversation turned to tattoos and our rep, a right wing homophobe at best, suddenly said: “people with tattoos are just criminals who belong in jail.”

At that very moment the boss’s wife strolled on the beach, clad in a beautiful bikini and sporting, on her upper back, a gorgeous rose tattoo. It was very funny watching the embarrassed rep trying to get out of his own ass. But those were the early 80’s and tattoos had not yet hit mainstream.

Today nobody raises a well-groomed eyebrow even at the most outrageous form of this body art. Athletes, actors, musicians, people from any walk of life or gender, are vying to show off the most original, intricate, creative tattoos imaginable. Tats have become part of Western fashion. For many young Americans, the tattoo has taken on a decidedly different meaning than for previous generations. It has undergone a dramatic redefinition and has shifted from a form of deviance to an acceptable form

of expression.

Looking back on the cover art for the 1981 album “Tattoo You” by the Rolling Stones, it is difficult to remember why it was considered so shocking. The illustration of a tattooed face would barely get noticed these days.

However, the album cover did result in minor controversy and concern about influencing people to get facial tattoos. While there were no actual cases of people getting the tattoos shown on the cover, it drew enough interest for the designer, Peter Corriston, to be awarded a Grammy for Best Package Design.

The word “tattoo” was brought to Europe by the explorer James Cook, when he returned in 1771 from his first voyage to Tahiti and New Zealand. In his narrative of the voyage, he refers to an operation called “tattaw.” Before this it had been described as scarring, painting, or staining.

Many tattoos serve, and served, as rites of passage, badges of status and rank, symbols of religious and spiritual devotion, sexual lures, marks of fertility, pledges of love, amulets and talismans, and as the marks of outcasts, slaves and convicts. People have also been forcibly tattooed. A well-known example is the identification system for inmates in Nazi concentration camps during the Holocaust.

During the Roman Empire, soldiers were required by law to have identifying tattoos on their hands in order to make desertion difficult.

The symbolism and impact of tattoos varies in different places and cultures. Tattoos may show how a person feels toward a relative (commonly a mother), a girlfriend or about an unrelated person.

Today, people choose to be tattooed for artistic, cosmetic, sentimental, memorial, religious, and magical reasons, and to symbolize their belonging to, or identification with, particular groups, including criminal gangs or subcultures. Some Máori still choose to wear intricate “moko” on their faces. In Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, the yantra tattoo is used for protection against evil and to increase luck.

Native Americans used them to represent their tribe.

In the new century tattoos are undergoing, yet again, a transformation. The Skulls, snakes, knives, hearts, butterflies, dragons,

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bulldogs have been on the outs for awhile, and after “tat sleeves” the latest fashion seems to be text tattoos or literary tattoos: slogans, verses in Chinese or Japanese calligraphy, rock lyrics, even Shakespeare. The body has become an “open book” rather than a canvas.

David Beckham has a Latin phrase right under his wife Victoria’s name: “Ut Amemem et Foveam” (So that I Love and Cherish).

Angelina Jolie has a Thai prayer on her shoulder and an extremely long, obscure, Arab text on her right arm. Lindsay Lohan has chosen a tweet from “Hamlet” while Megan Fox’s pick is from King Lear and it says: “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies.” The bad boy of Italian soccer, Mario Balotelli, has a 24 words text that starts with: “I am the punishment of God...”

Although the general acceptance of tattoos is on the rise, they still carry a heavy stigma among certain social groups. Tattoos are, for example, generally considered an important part of the

culture of the Russian mafia.

Same thing for the Yakuza, or Japanese organized crime. The Jewish religion strictly forbids them thanks to Leviticus 19:28: “You shall not etch cuttings on yourselves.” Yes, the same guy from the Old Testament that wrote “lying with mankind as with womankind is an abomination,” words that are still used by religious nuts to condemn homosexuality.

Not to be undone, Muslims believe that the Prophet of Allah has cursed the person who does tattoos and the one who has one done.

A few years ago the Journal of the American Academy of Dermatology published the results of a telephone survey. It found that 36 percent of Americans ages 18–29, 24 percent of those 30–40, and 15 percent of those 41–51 had a tattoo. They concluded that Generation X and Generation Y are not afraid to express themselves through their appearance, and tattoos are the most popular form of self-expression.

One thing is for sure: tats might fade on the skin over time but they are here to stay.

What I can say regarding the latest trend of text tattoos is: as you can fall out of love with the person whose name you have etched on your skin, 10 years from now you might fall out of love, or find it irrelevant, with the text written on your back. No matter what, make sure the artist you pick has spell check on his ink needles. •

SPRING 2014 •

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OPINION

Judge Not,

Lest You Be Judged

My day at the American Fine Wine Competition

By J.W. Arnold

“

Tell me what you drink, and I will tell you what you are.”

This quote from the early 19th century French gastronome Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin ran through my head over and over as I approached Florida International University’s (FIU) Biscayne Bay campus recently.

I’d like to think of myself as a fairly sophisticated foodie and a wine connoisseur. I was introduced to wine 20 years ago as a graduate student in New Zealand and Australia, a time when the countries’ signature varietals, sauvignon blanc and shiraz, were challenging the dominance of wines from France and California.

I’d taken wine tasting tours up and down the Napa Valley and attended the grand tasting at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival. Oh, and I wouldn’t dare forget those few months I dated a sales manager for a wine wholesaler. Every day, after running his rounds, he would show up at my front door with two or three really fine bottles to share.

I knew a few things about wine, or so I thought.

I’m sure most of the other dozen journalists who were joining me were confident in their abilities to pick a good wine, too.

For a week each winter, FIU’s Chapin School of Hospitality — already one of the preeminent programs in the world — becomes the epicenter of the American wine industry, as dozens of highly qualified judges and sommeliers arrive to render their decisions.

The American Fine Wine Competition was the brainchild of Shari Gherman and Monty and Sara Preiser, three wine professionals who dreamed of establishing an influential wine event in South Florida. The region is one of the three largest wine consumption markets in the country. Over a few glasses of wine in 2007, the competition was born.

Gherman, a Miami native, has traveled the world and has more than 25 years of experience as a sommelier. The Preisers, residents of Palm Beach County who also split their time at a home in Napa, are the publishers of “The Preiser Key,” the

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most comprehensive guides to wineries and restaurants in Napa and Sonoma.

“What makes the American Fine Wine Competition different is that most competitions are ‘pay to play,’” Gherman told the journalists as we filed into one of the FIU classrooms filled with hundreds of bottles of red, white, rose and sparkling wines. “We are an invitation only competition, and, as a result, attract the best of the best.”

Admittedly, I gasped at the sight of so many wines, neatly arranged, as a team of volunteers prepared flights for the judges to taste. We learned that the judges had completed the whites yesterday and had moved on to red wines today. It was overwhelming to contemplate how the judges would narrow more than 700 entries down, but we would be given an opportunity.

As we were led to the tasting room and divided into judging teams of four, we were reminded “any wine that you like is a good wine.” Unfortunately, that guidance would not cut it when dealing with dozens of wines of this caliber.

The AFWC judging system, organized by chief judge Monty Preiser, starts with flights of four wines, poured in private and then taken to the judging tables. Glasses are numbered to correspond with the individually numbered wine bottles, which are kept secret in the staging room. Wines can be awarded individual gold, silver or bronze medals, but at least three of the panel members must agree.

Double gold medals are awarded when the entire panel agrees the

wine is worthy of the top medal.

It sounded easy enough, until it was our turn to taste. Turns out I was anything but a wine snob. We were reminded of the qualities the judges would evaluate, including appearance, color, aroma, bouquet and taste. We are encouraged to see, swirl, sniff, sip and swallow (or spit) as we took our turns.

Ranking the wines turns into a challenging proposition as four chardonnays or pinot noirs can taste completely different, appealing to the senses in wildly varying ways. While we take repeated sips to evaluate our wines, chatting away about the hints of chocolate or fruit and the sweetness and acidity, our proctor bursts our bubbles.

The professionals can render their collective judgment with a simple sip and then spit. I’m definitely not a snob, because the thought of spitting out these wonderful wines after a sip seems tantamount to alcohol abuse! It’s a necessity for the judges, who must maintain their senses throughout the long day, but after just a couple of flights, the amateurs are enjoying a light buzz.

It’s been an educational experience, but I think I’ll leave the judging to the judges and settle for being an informed oenophile.

Winners of the 2014 American Fine Wine Competition were announced via satellite broadcast in Miami and Napa on Jan. 31. The wines will be sampled at the AFWC Wine Gala on April 4 at the Boca Raton Resort.

For more information and tickets, AmericanFineWineCompetition.org. •

AFWC Guide to Wine Tasting Tasting wine is as easy as it is fun. There are a few simple rules to begin. One, fill your glass just one-third full (The bottle isn’t going anywhere, it’s yours, right?) and this way you won’t spill as you swirl. Two, hold your glass by the stem (Fingerprints are bad and you don’t want to warm the wine with your body heat). Three, have some fun while you taste (no explanation needed). OK, you’re ready to begin.

SEE… Hold the glass against something white or toward the light. You are looking for the color of the wine. If it’s a red, is it a deep garnet color or violet or bright red? If it’s white, is it a pale straw color or golden yellow? The color of wine will give you an indication of what the wine may feel like in your mouth. A deeper color would indicate it might be rich and full bodied. A lighter color could indicate it will be light on the palate.

“Tell me what you drink, and I will tell you what you are.”

SWIRL… Carefully swirl the glass while it’s resting on the table, holding it at the base. This releases the many wonderful nuances of the wine. Once you have achieved this without the wine coming up and over the rim of the glass, try swirling your glass in the air. It’s a pretty impressive skill, once mastered.

SNIFF… After swirling, put your nose into the glass. Inhale deeply. Look for familiar fruit smells. Sniffing the wine is much about memory. In white wine, you might smell pear or apple or lemon or grapefruit. For reds, you might smell black fruit or Maraschino cherry or prunes. Look for spices. In whites, you might get vanilla or honey notes. In reds, you could smell cinnamon, black pepper or cloves. You may also detect wood smells — is it oak or cedar or toast? These nuances come from the barrel in which the wine was aged.

SIP… Ah, the best part. This should basically mirror the “sniff ” part of the tasting, as far as what the wine should taste like. If you smelled pink grapefruit or plum, you should get that on the palate as well. Take a mouthful of the wine, swish it around. Now take in a bit of air. Feel it on your tongue, the sides of your mouth, close your eyes and really taste it. Does it feel like your mouth is drying up? This could be the tannins in the wine, if it is red. This shows the structure of the wine. It could also mean the wine will age well. Does it coat your mouth? If white, this could mean the wine has been through malolactic fermentation. “Malo” gives the wine a lovely creaminess.

SWALLOW (or spit)… Close your eyes again. Think about the four S’s. Remember what it looked like when you saw it in the glass; when you swirled it; when you smelled it; when you sipped and swished it around in your mouth. What did it taste and feel like? This helps create the memory, so next time you can think back and try to draw from a past experience.

Now swallow the wine. How long does the taste linger in your mouth? This is called the “finish” and it can be a clue to the quality of the wine. Do you like it? In the final analysis, that really is all that matters.

In the world of wine, there are really no absolutes. Just because a wine costs $50 doesn’t mean it’s a great wine, and if it costs $15, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad wine. The fact is, if you think it tastes great, then it is a great wine. Taste a lot of wines, explore new varietals, raise a glass with family, friends and co-workers. Enjoy it daily.

SPRING 2014 •

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ESSAY

By Bil Browning

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veryone remembers the first time they had sex. It sticks in your memory and can help shape future sexual desires and preferences.

As I was scanning my photos into the computer, I found this one — the only one — of Steve, the first guy I had sex with. I don’t remember Steve’s last name; he only lived in town for a few short months and moved before he made the yearbook. I blurred his identity since I don’t know what his current sexuality or situation is.

It was the summer of 1988. I was 16 and he was 17. That’s George Michael’s Faith cassette next to him on the bed. This picture was taken the “day after.” George had kindly provided mood music the night before. I still can’t hear “Father Figure” or “Kissing a Fool” without thinking about that night.

I feel a compelling need to track Steve down so we can talk. I owe him an apology.

I’d already had sex with a girl when I was 14 or 15. It didn’t really do much for me and I hadn’t pursued other chances to do it again.

(Instead, I thought about becoming a priest even though I’m not Catholic. Seriously.)

Then I met Steve. I was full of confusion because I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t have the words to explain it. We clicked and I loved him as only first loves can. I couldn’t tell him, of course, but apparently my desire was clear.

My “bedroom” was the top landing of our stairway.

Technically, it was a one bedroom apartment, but we’d improvised. The drawback was that mom’s room was the only other room upstairs other than the bathroom. My bed was outside the door to her room; I’m standing in her doorway to take the picture.

Steve slept over at my house one night and insisted we sleep downstairs in the living room because it was “too hot” upstairs since we didn’t have air conditioning. We stayed up late talking and at one point he just asked me, “Are you gay? Do you like me?”

I shyly acknowledged that I did like him, but

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• SPRING 2014

doubted the whole gay thing. He shocked me by telling me that he was gay and liked me too. It didn’t take long after that for us to end up wrapped in each other’s arms.

We continued the relationship and the next couple of months sped by until it was time to go back to school. Suddenly, I was panic stricken. What would happen when we went back to class? Would someone find out? Would everyone know our secret?

Steve and I had a mutual friend, Steph. I adored

her and so did he. She was in his grade and they got to talk in class, while I only hung out with her between classes or after school. One afternoon, Steve followed me home in a really good mood.

“It’s a beautiful day and I feel so free!”

“Why?” “I told Steph about us.”

My knees buckled. I sat down on the front steps to my house in shock and started to cry. I asked Steve to leave and shook with fear that my mom would find out. While I was always the class fag, how could I prove them right? I wasn’t the horrible names classmates had called me. No one liked a faggot — that had been made abundantly clear from the many beatings I’d already endured.

It was all Steve’s fault. I was angry. I was scared. I was young and stupid.

When he came back an hour or so later to talk, we went up to my room. My mom was at work so we didn’t have to worry about being overheard. I screamed at him that he was going to shame me into

suicide. I blamed him for beatings I would get. Then I did the unforgivable. I got conniving and realized what I “had” to do.

He reached out to me and told me he loved me.

And I spit in his face.

I called him names like “faggot” and “queer.” I told him I wasn’t like him and never wanted to be. I said that I’d tell everyone he was lying and that he’d told me about being gay and I’d rejected him. I told him to leave and never come back.

And then I punched him. Again and again and again I hit him — trying to release all of the hurt and sickness I felt inside for his honesty about being exactly what I’d always been despised for. I raged and I shook and I yelled. I cried for his love that I couldn’t accept and I screamed at the pain I’d felt myself as each punch landed. I beat him for what seemed like hours, days, years. He never raised so much as an arm to defend himself.

I spit on him again as he left my house shell shocked and wounded.

When it eventually got around school that he and I had been sleeping together, I spun a big story about how he’d hit on me, I’d rejected him and he was just making up sick queer fantasies. I lied. Over and over again I lied. I denied him in public while at home I cried because I wanted him.

I’m ashamed of what I did, but I’ve never apologized. His family moved away two weeks later.

I don’t know where he went or what’s ever become of him. I don’t know if he’s gay, bisexual or even straight.

Does he have a partner? Was he ever the same? Did I kill the same part of him that died in me with my inexcusable reaction? I don’t know.

One week after Steve moved away, my mom sat me down on the couch. She told me that she’d heard the rumors of Steve and I. She told me that she didn’t want to know the truth, but that she’d better not hear anything of the sort about any other friends of mine.

“Homosexuality is disgusting and God will punish you for it. No one likes a faggot,” she lectured me.

I’d already learned that lesson.

I’m sorry, Steve. Forgive me. •

SPRING 2014 •

11

FEATURE

The Forgotten Letter

The in-betweeners: not gay, not straight, not trans

By Sasha Razumikhin

W

hat’s harder than not belonging anywhere? Try belonging everywhere.

You’re a friend to everyone and subsequently an enemy to many. It must be so easy for you, people might say, you can just switch it off, and go for her or him, or whatever you wish. Why complain?

Because desire isn’t a fancy, you think, but you can’t communicate this to a heterosexual who thinks you’ve got it made, or to a homosexual who thinks you’re abusing the fringed acceptance that’s been creeping in for LGBT people during recent years.

You’re somewhere in between, in a world neither here nor there. You’re on your own, and you need to find a voice and a community.

Enter Faith.

Not faith the word, but Faith Cheltenham, president of BiNetUSA, an organization over two decades old and self-described as “America’s umbrella organization and voice for bisexual, pansexual, fluid, queer-identified and all other of us ‘somewhere in between’ people…”

“We definitely have a large number of bisexual people in the U.S.,” Cheltenham told The Mirror, adding that BiNetUSA was founded in 1990 “out of a need for a national advocacy organization for bisexual people.”

What is a bisexual person? The answer isn’t as clean cut as some may think, Cheltenham said, leading to a myriad of societal complications.

“We identify ourselves as bisexual if we recognize in ourselves the ability to be attracted to more than one gender,” she said.

It’s unusual to be attracted to both genders at the same time. Attraction morphs and changes over time with no clear range of when it might switch or slowly recede from one gender to the other. That’s how the nickname “fluid” became prominent. It’s an easier

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• SPRING 2014

way to explain one’s sexuality than simply saying “bisexual,” to which most respond with resounding misconceptions.

“That’s something we work to educate people on,” Cheltenham said. “Many mainstream organizations and publications, as well as LGBT organizations, refuse to let that definition live. But we bisexual people know that doesn’t really work for anybody.”

By “we bisexual people,” Cheltenham is referring to a substantial portion of the LGBT community.

According to LGBT think tank The Williams Institute, 51 percent of people within the LGBT community are bisexual.

“It’s not about who we are with, it’s not about who I am with right at this moment,” said Ellyn Ruthstrom, president of the Bisexual Resource Center, an almost 30-year-old group geared toward raising awareness of bisexual issues.

And there’s more data, according to BiNetUSA: Bisexual men are 50 percent more likely to live in

poverty than gay men; bisexual women are more than twice as likely to live in poverty as lesbians; bisexual men and women are at least one-third less likely to disclose their sexual identities to their doctors than gays or lesbians. (For more, see sidebar on next page).

With these numbers, bisexual people should be out and proud, but it’s not that way.

“We come out all the time. Everyday, multiple times a day. It’s a very different type of experience than a gay or lesbian might experience,” Cheltenham said. “As gayness has become norm, bisexuality has become more queer.”

Having a high population doesn’t mean having loud voices around the country.

Bisexuality is on the fray. It’s misunderstood, it’s stereotyped into obscurity, it’s everything that was wrong with lesbianism and gayness in the ’80s. Few know what it is, or how it works, less are willing to do anything about it. But like all things, it gets better, if slowly at that.

“I’ve been out as a bisexual for a long time, almost 25 years. I’ve seen a great deal of difference in that time. I’ve seen it improve.

I have high hopes. Sometimes it’s confusing when we see the good effects in certain populations, but I can’t answer when it will finally break through,” Ruthstrom told The Mirror. “These past few years have been very significant for us because of how diverse sexualities have been discussed publicly. That’s a really positive thing. It’s hitting lots of different media so people can be exposed to the concepts more.”

In a study that looked at LGBT-focused philanthropy over 40 years, from 1970 to 2010, Funders For LGBTQ Issues found that out of $771 million in grants, projects and other types of funding, $84,000 went to bisexual related groups or issues. To put that in perspective, consider this: The

Things You Didn’t Know About Bisexuals

transgender community got $17 million.

Further perspective? $84,000 out of $771 million is about a hundredth of a percent, or .01 percent of the pie.

“It rounds up to zero,” Cheltenham said.

Policies for bisexual people? Nil. Legislation for bisexual people? Nil. Protections? Nil. In fact, Google considered “bisexual” a “dirty” word until 2012. In an algorithm that removed words from search results in an attempt to get rid of pornography from showing up, a list of words were restricted. This changed when pressure from U.S. groups, namely BiNetUSA, forced the search giant to reconsider its tactics.

“One reason it’s hard for people to get their heads around it is that people like simplicity.

They like binaries. Gay/straight is easy. But there’s this whole other area in human sexuality, and that makes it more complex for people to get it,” Faith Cheltenham, Ruthstrom said. “I’m continually amazed at how president of hard it is for some people to get it, even when they BiNetUSA know bisexual people, they see bisexual people in relationships, they see them get married. They don’t seem to hold onto that concept of bisexuality for very long. They see a person’s partner as a definition of that person’s sexuality.”

BiNetUSA and the Bisexual Resource Center are here to help. They put the information in this article into fact sheets, spread them around the country and attempt to educate both the heterosexual and LGBT communities.

“When someone hears the word bisexual, there’s an immediate stigma,” Cheltenham concluded about the uneducated mass. Coming out is a daily occurrence. And is followed by Ellyn Ruthstrom, questions. Responses aren’t supportive, they’re president of the jealous. Jealous of an instantaneous fluidity and Bisexual Resource choice that is simply not there, that is simply Center incorrect, that is simply stigmatizing. “We’re not gay, and we’re not straight.”

They’re in between. •

1. Bisexual men are 50 percent more likely to live in poverty than gay men 2. Bisexual women are more than twice as likely to live in poverty as lesbians 3. Bisexual men and women are at least one-third less likely to disclose their sexual identity to their doctors than gays or lesbians 4. In comparison with lesbians and gays, bisexuals have a higher lifetime prevalence of sexual victimization.

5. Forty percent of LGBT people of color identify as bisexual 6. Bisexual women are almost six times more likely than heterosexual women to have seriously considered suicide, and four times more likely than lesbians 7. Bisexual men are almost seven times more likely than heterosexual men to have seriously considered suicide, and over four times more likely than gay men 8. Bisexual employees are eight times as likely to be in the closet compared to lesbian and gay counterparts 9. Fifty-five percent of bisexual employees are not out to anyone at work 10. From 2008 to 2012, only $5,000 in grants were awarded to bi-specific projects or bisexual organizations.

[Sources: The Williams Institute, Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations, National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, Sexual Research and Social Policy]

SPRING 2014 •

13

PEOPLE

Proudly Representing the ‘B’ in LGBT A short list of notable bisexuals By David-Elijah Nahmod While this list is by no means complete, it does pay homage to some of the better-known B’s in LGBT. Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968)

Bankhead was a major star on the London and Broadway stages during the 20s, 30s and 40s.

These days she’s fondly recalled for her starring role in Alfred Hitchcock’s film “Lifeboat” and for guest starring on the “Batman” (TV series) shortly before her death in 1968. Legend has it that, at the height of her theatrical career, she would stumble out of New York bars at 4 a.m., plastered. Then she would hail a cab and say nothing more than “home, darling!”

Every cab driver in New York knew where to drop her off.

Bankhead had many affairs with men and women, some as famous as she. When asked by a gossip columnist if Cary Grant was gay, she quipped: “How should I know, darling? He never sucked my c**k!”

Snooki

The Jersey girl and star of “The Jersey Shore,” has only dated guys on camera, but admits to having “done things” with girls.

Drew Barrymore

The iconic star is heir apparent to an acting dynasty: her grandfather John Barrymore was considered the greatest Shakespearean actor of his day. Her aunt and uncle were theater legends Ethel and Lionel Barrymore.

When asked if she liked women, Barrymore replied: “totally!” and said she’d had affairs with a number of women.

She continues to date men.

Maria Bello

Known for her roles on “ER” and appearing in many films, Bello, who has a son with her exboyfriend, recently came out as bisexual as she settled into a relationship with a woman.

Bello was quite involved in Haiti earthquake relief and co-founded We Advance, an organization that assists Haitian women with healthcare issues and works towards ending violence against Haitian women.

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Marlene Dietrich (1901-1992)

The German born beauty shot to fame with her starring role in the film “The Blue Angel.” That same year she signed a contract with Paramount Pictures.

Audiences at the time were shocked when Dietrich, dressed in a male tuxedo, kissed a woman on the lips in the film “Morocco,” her first film under contract with Paramount.

Dietrich kept her private life out of the press, but had affairs with many of her co-stars, both male and female.

Her film career continued for thirty years. During the 60s and 70s she toured the world in a well-received concert act in which she performed songs from her many films.

Megan Mullally

Famous and beloved for her role “Karen” on the now classic series “Will and Grace,” Mullally was open about going “both ways” from the show’s inception. At the show’s very first press junket in 1998, she made it clear that sexual orientation was a non-issue in her world.

After eight seasons on NBC, Mullally moved on to a failed talk show, but has since enjoyed success on Broadway. She can currently be seen in the new gay teen comedy “G.B.F.”

SPRING 2014 •

15

PEOPLE

Lou Reed (1942-2013)

Joe Dallesandro

“Little Joe never once gave it away, everyone had to pay and pay,” is the famous lyric from Lou Reed’s classic rock anthem “Walk on the Wild Side.” Reed’s song paid homage to several of the more famous members of Andy Warhol’s “factory;” the underground film studio of the 60s. Joe Dallesandro was the best known (and most beautiful) factory member, and was an early icon of gay erotica.

After supporting himself by modeling nude in gay magazines, Dallesandro shot to international fame in a series of no budget Warhol produced films like “Flesh,” “Trash” and “Heat.” His costars were an odd collection of dope addicts and drag queens who indulged in every vice imaginable, on-camera and off.

Dallesandro went on to enjoy minor success in mainstream films and was open about his bisexuality every step of the way.

The iconic underground rocker who immortalized Dallesandro in song recently passed away at age 71. He was openly bisexual throughout his life.

Byline

Clive Davis

Davis is an American record producer and music industry executive who shocked the world when he came out as bisexual in 2013 in his autobiography “The Soundtrack of My Life.” He told Katie Couric that he hoped his coming out would lead to greater awareness of bisexuality. He’s been in a relationship with a man since 2004.

Before that he was in a 14-year relationship with a male doctor.

Joshua Kadison

Sexy, long haired singer-songwriter topped the charts with his 1993 album “Painted Desert Serenade.” Hit singles included “Jesse and Beautiful In My Eyes.” He’s produced several more albums and remains a popular concert act in Europe.

His mom, Gloria Castillo, was a 50s starlet who appeared in drive-in classics like “Invasion of the Saucer Men,” “Reform School Girl” and “Teenaged Monster.” Her early death from cancer inspired his tearjerker song “Mamma’s Arms.”

Kadison, who once dated Sarah Jessica Parker, came out as bisexual in 2004, revealing that he had just left a relationship with a man.

16

Ron Woodroof (1950-1992)

The true life AIDS drama “Dallas Buyer’s Club” has been nominated for six Oscars, including a nod for Matthew McConaughey’s portrayal of Ron Woodroof, a foul mouthed homophobe who changes his views after being diagnosed with HIV in 1985.

How Woodroof contracted HIV remains vague, according to the film, which portrays him as “banging chicks.’”

Not so fast, says those who knew Woodroof.

In stories published at Slate and in the Advocate, friends of Woodroof have come forward and taken issue with the film’s portrayal of him.

They say that he was openly bisexual, and not homophobic at all.

Those who’ve spoken up include his ex-wife and his personal physician.

• SPRING 2014

Alan Cumming

Scottish star of stage and screen scored major hits in the “X Men” film series and as the master of ceremonies in the recent Broadway revival of the musical “Cabaret.”

His recording of Cabaret’s “Mein Herr,” a song performed by the show’s female lead, led many to believe that Cumming was gay.

Not so, he said, casually saying that he was, in fact, bisexual.

Cumming is divorced from a woman and currently lives in New York with his husband.

SPRING 2014 •

17

FEATURE

Gays In the Red The Mirror Takes a Look at Gay Rights in the Most Conservative States

G

allup sought to find out the most conservative states in the country, and after a year of polling, the results came in: Alabama, North Dakota, Wyoming, Mississippi, and Utah.

Polling was done in 2012 on more than 200,000 adults and Gallup released the report in February 2013. Note, just because the state is highly conservative did not necessarily lend to political affiliation — Kansas, Montana, and Alaska are in the top ten GOP states, but were not in the top 10 conservative states.

For the most conservative state, “LGBT rights by and large don’t exist in Alabama,” said Michael Hansen, chair of communications at Equality Alabama.

The group came to fruition in 2002 when two LGBT organizations merged and has been active in state politics. This legislative session, a bill to repeal the 1901 amendment banning gay marriage sits in the capital. While Hansen isn’t optimistic about it passing, he says it’s a great way to get a conversation going.

Hansen grew up in a Southern Baptist home in Tennessee and did not come out until he was 25 for fear of losing his friends and family, as well as facing bullying, marginalization, or being sent to therapy.

Another disappointment for the state of Alabama, which surprised many, was when legislation to include LGBT students in anti-bullying laws failed.

State Rep. Patricia Todd, who is openly gay, pushed forth legislation to include LGBT students in 2011, but it failed — another way that the LGBT community is not protected by its state “There’s a general apathy about politics in Alabama, so it’s a bit hard to get the people in the middle who maybe would be supportive, but just don’t care enough to get involved, to say a few words or to talk to their friends or volunteer,” Hansen said.

However, after a few years of dormancy, Equality Alabama was reinvigorated with a new board and has seen an increase in interest in their cause, with more people following their Facebook page, more groups wanting to partner, and more people donating. With that, the group hired a lobbyist for the first time, who will be working with the Alabama legislature.

“Having that presence in Montgomery is the first step in having a seat at the table in the state level. It’s going to be a game changer,” Hansen said.

Utah also fell in the top five conservative states, and seven bills discriminating against LGBT people are

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flying through the House. At Equality Utah, they’re fighting to make sure they don’t pass.

“Our goal is to secure equal rights and protections for LGBT Utahans and our families,” said Brandie Balken, the executive director at Equality Utah. “That really encompasses from birth to death.”

This includes artificial insemination and adoption, equal opportunities in employment, passing on benefits to a spouse, housing, end-of-life care, and more.

The group started as a political action committee in 2001 to create a dialogue with elected officials and help those who were passing LGBT-friendly laws. When a constitutional amendment threatened to ban gay marriages and civil unions, the group incorporated a nonprofit and 501(c)(4) to do policy work.

While there are many issues facing LGBT families in Utah, this year, Equality Utah has its sights set on anti-discrimination bills. So far, staffers are working at the local level with the school board all the way up to the Utah State House of Representatives.

Currently, 19 cities and counties have passed inclusive nondiscrimination protections, representing about 40 percent of the population, Balken said.

Another victory for the state was when the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints, or the Mormon Church, created a website discussing same-sex attraction in Mormon families. “[The site] really allowed a forum to have conversations if you have a child who happens to

By Christiana Lilly be gay or transgender or someone in your family,” Balken said. “These are remarkable changes and they definitely need to be acknowledged.”

Balken also has seen improvements personally — she and her wife have been together for 13 years, and at family reunions, Fourth of July parades, or at her wife’s hometown’s Peach Days celebration, she experiences people being more accepting of them.

“I don’t want to make this sound trite, but sometimes the things that are most important and most present are really how you move through your day-to-day lives,” she said.

Stereotyping is rampant in these states, with people assuming conservatives to never be accepting of homosexuality. In fact, according to the Williams Institute at UCLA, conservative state Mississippi actually has the highest rate of same-sex couples raising children, followed by Wyoming, Alaska, Idaho and Montana. The study found that the higher proportions of same-sex couples raising children are found in the South, Mountain West, and Midwest.

“I think we will find that people are way more supportive of specific issues than we think,” Hansen said. “I don’t want to discount those people who do have bad experiences… but I want to say I have had really good experiences in both Tennessee and Alabama.”

In the satirical news show, The Daily Show, Jon Stewart hosted an “intolerance off ” in October 2013 to see how homophobic Alabama and Mississippi were. In fact, a civil rights lawyer in Alabama and a newspaper columnist both predicted that their state would be the last to pass a gay marriage law.

“I’m surprised a gay couple can get a fishing license in Mississippi, let along a marriage license,” the columnist said.

However, the results were surprising. Two men acting as a gay couple walked through both states holding hands, participating in a kissing booth, and even doing a public proposal at a public restaurant.

Rather than being run out of the state, people congratulated them, commented on how great they looked together, or simply were unphased.

“It’s important for us to remember that there are always LGBT people living in those [conservative] states on the ground and they are working very hard to make change in their community and that change is incredibly important,” Balken said. “We do our community and our country a disservice when we write areas of our country off.” •

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SPRING 2014 •

19

PROFILE

We Are Mormon. We Are Gay. Affirmation seeks to help gay Mormons reconcile sexuality and faith

A

s a junior at Brigham Young University, John Gustav-Wrathall was struggling with his sexuality, he was suicidal, and devastated over the idea of leaving behind the Mormon Church, which had been his entire life.

“It was one of the most painful things that I ever went through,” he said.

That year, he did leave the church and discovered himself over the next few years, finally coming out. Today, he is happily married to his husband and works with Affirmation, a group for LGBT Mormons.

At Affirmation, LGBT Mormons can find support, and they are encouraged to discover a balance between their sexuality and religious beliefs in a way they feel most comfortable with.

“We as an organization don’t really prescribe for people how they need to make that reconciliation, but we do provide support and we’re a community,” said Gustav-Wrathall, now the senior vice president.

The group began in 1978 at the BYU main campus in Provo, Utah, as a gay and lesbian group. They used a pseudonym to maintain confidentiality, as it was a tough time to be gay for many students throughout the country.

“That was a very difficult time and you could be expelled from the campus just for being gay,” GustavWrathall said. “It was very risky to be out at BYU and out in the church at all really.”

Times have changed since the 70s, and now, the school has an openly organized LGBT group, Understanding Same-Gender Attraction (USGA) that meets weekly.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints preaches that there is no acceptable sexual expression outside of a heterosexual marriage. However it does not condemn members for their same-sex attraction and believes that it’s the act of same sex, which is the sin, just as it is for unmarried heterosexual partners.

“The Church’s standard for morality is the same for everyone, no matter which gender one feels attracted to,” according to the church’s website.

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“Neither the Lord nor His Church can condone any behavior that violates His laws. Again, we condemn the immoral behavior, not the person.”

Anna Empey joined Affirmation a little over a year ago and now serves as the social media outreach lead. She learned about the group while at school at BYU and was encouraged to share her story at an Affirmation conference. Finding the group was “too good to be true,” she said, finding comfort in being around people who weren’t telling her how to live her life and instead gave her unconditional love.

It wasn’t until she was almost done with college at BYU, and having suicidal thoughts, that she came to terms with her same-gender attraction. Her coming out was positive with her parents, but she has lost a few friends.

“I just knew that I was different and that scared me,” Empey said. “I can’t tell you how hard I prayed for God to change who I was, to fix me because I really felt like I was broken.”

Empey is still deciding whether to be with a woman, or marry a man, an option she said she would only take if God wants her to.

Gustav-Wrathall’s battle was during the 80s. He left the church his junior year of college and then came out a few years after. In 1992, he met his husband, who is not Mormon.

However, the church had been a major part of Gustav-Wrathall’s life — he served missions for the church in France and Switzerland and had dreamed of becoming a church historian. In 2005, he had what he called a “spiritual experience,” wanting to return to the church. Through prayer, he says God told him he did not need to leave his husband but that he should return to the church.

“On the one hand, feeling very committed to my relationship with my husband and feeling like that was blessed by God, and on the other hand, feeling that I needed to be close to the church and get as involved in it, as active in the church as I could,” he said.

He found Affirmation that year and served as the contact for his state, Minnesota, and found a

By Christiana Lilly Mormon ward where he could worship, even though he is not considered a member in full standing.

“The members of that ward and the bishop of that ward were very happy to have me come back to the church, which kind of shocked me,” he said, although there were a few members who were uncomfortable with his homosexuality.

While there has been progress in the Mormon Church — more than 300 straight and gay Mormons joined Salt Lake City’s Pride parade in 2012 — there have also been setbacks. The church has been supportive of ordinances providing protections for gay couples, but was also strongly in support of California’s Proposition 8 in 2008, going so far as to provide much of the funding to make sure the proposition passed, which banned gay marriage.

Affirmation has chosen not to get involved in politics.

“The primary mission of our organization is really focused on that reconciliation that individuals need to make within themselves and also helping to further reconciliation and dialogue between gay and straight Mormons,” Gustav-Wrathall said. “We have a free speech policy, so individual members can certainly speak out and say what they think about things like that, but we as an organization have been pretty deliberate about avoiding taking an organizational position on things like that.”

For members like Empey, her goal is to reach out to others who were in her place just a few years ago, confused about their sexual feelings and how it fits into the church. Although she’s still in her journey of reconciliation, she’s made a new goal to attend church more often and to only tackle one problem at a time.

“I know that I have contemplated committing suicide, and I don’t want anyone else to think that they should do that because this is a part of who they are,” she said. “Sometimes you want to give up, but I just want them to know that they have other choices.”

Visit Affirmation.org for more chapter locations and for more information. •

SPRING 2014 •

21

FEATURE

Soviet Style Sexual Repression...

Here at Home

Yes, some U.S. states emulate Russia’s gay propaganda laws

By Sasha Razumikhin

I

n a piece that Russian lawmakers might very well call “gay propaganda,” The Mirror brings you nine U.S. states have similar anti-gay laws — or what Russian lawmakers would approvingly nod their heads at.

These laws, coined “No Promo Homo” laws according to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), forbid teachers from discussing gay and transgender issues (including sexual health and HIV/AIDS awareness) in a positive light — if at all.” Both ThinkProgress and the Washington Post listed some of these laws.

Basically, the laws’ overall theme is to ensure that homosexuality is sold under very ominous definitions to students. From prohibiting portraying “homosexuality as a positive alternative lifestyle” (Aza.’s law) to teaching “that a mutually faithful, monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the only appropriate setting for sexual intercourse” (a Miss. law), these laws are just fun to read and sad to contemplate.

Let’s get to it:

same-sex marriage, non-pictorial discussions of homosexuality could probably be considered violations as well.

Mississippi

1) Abstinence education shall be the state standard for any sex-related education taught in the public schools. For purposes of this section, abstinence education includes any type of instruction or program which, at an appropriate age: [...] (e) Teaches the current state law related to sexual conduct, including forcible rape, statutory rape, paternity establishment, child support and homosexual activity; and (f) Teaches that a mutually faithful, monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the only appropriate setting for sexual intercourse.

North Carolina

e. Teaches that a mutually faithful monogamous heterosexual relationship in the context of marriage is the best lifelong means of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/ AIDS.

Alabama

(c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements: [...]

(8) An emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.

Arizona

C. No district shall include in its course of study instruction which: 1. Promotes a homosexual lifestyle.

2. Portrays homosexuality as a positive alternative lifestyle.

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Oklahoma

3. Suggests that some methods of sex are safe methods of homosexual sex.

Louisiana

According to Think Progress, the state has a rule “censoring homosexuality in sex education, but it only applies to ‘any sexually explicit materials depicting male or female homosexual activity.”

Given the law’s emphasis on abstinence from sexual activity outside of marriage and the state’s ban on

D. AIDS prevention education shall specifically teach students that: 1. engaging in homosexual activity, promiscuous sexual activity, intravenous drug use or contact with contaminated blood products is now known to be primarily responsible for contact with the AIDS virus; 2. avoiding the activities specified in paragraph 1 of this subsection is the only method of preventing the spread of the virus;

South Carolina

(5) The program of instruction provided for in

Soviet Style sexual repression this section may not include a discussion of alternate sexual lifestyles from heterosexual relationships including, but not limited to, homosexual relationships except in the context of instruction concerning sexually transmitted diseases.

Texas

(b) The materials in the education programs intended for persons younger than 18 years of age must: (1) emphasize sexual abstinence before marriage and fidelity in marriage as the expected standard in terms of public health and the most effective ways to prevent HIV infection, sexually transmitted diseases, and unwanted pregnancies; and (2) state that homosexual conduct is not an acceptable lifestyle and is a criminal offense under Section 21.06, Penal Code.

Utah

According to Think Progress, Utah law prohibits “the advocacy of homosexuality.” In 2012, the Utah legislature passed a bill that would have banned “instruction in, or the advocacy of,” homosexuality and also would have made sex education “opt in” instead of “opt out,” but that bill was vetoed by Gov. Gary Herbert (R).

There’s More than Just ‘No Promo’ Laws

According to GLSEN, “One of the most effective steps that schools, school districts and states can take to improve school climate and make schools safer is to enact safe schools laws and policies.”

These are two distinct types of laws that protect LGBT students in schools.

The first type of safe schools law is fully enumerated anti-bullying laws. These are laws that specifically prohibit bullying and harassment of students based on sexual orientation and gender identity. These laws most often use both terms: “bullying” and “harassment” but in some cases may use only one.

The second type are non-discrimination laws which many states have passed to provide protection from discrimination of LGBT students in schools. There are some non-discrimination laws that protect from discrimination based on sexual orientation but not gender identity.

The following maps investigate what states do to this end:

States with nondiscrimination laws designed to protect students based on sexual orientation, but not gender identity.

States (and Washington, D.C.) with nondiscrimination laws designed to protect students based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

No Promo Homo Laws Laws that Prohibit Enumeration

States (and Washington, D.C.) with enumerated anti-bullying laws designed to protect students based on sexual orientation and gender identity, States that have not passed enumerated anti-bullying laws, or nondiscrimination laws pertaining to LGBT students

SPRING 2014 •

23

INTERNATIONAL

Plight of LGBT Jamaicans Gains Notoriety

Jamaica is possibly one of the most dangerous spots in the world for LGBT people, but public scrutiny is helping promote change

By Denise Royal

T

ourists travel far and wide from all over the world flock to Jamaica’s elite resorts and sandy beaches.

But for LGBT people who call the Caribbean island home, it’s no paradise.

Homophobia is a way of life and there’s a prominent fear of living an openly gay lifestyle.

Gay men fear violence. Lesbians fear being raped or sodomized. There are laws against anal intercourse. It’s so bad, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International say Jamaica is among the most dangerous places in the world to be gay.

But, there are small signs that some of those old attitudes are beginning to fade. A lot of new hope for LGBT people is being attributed to J-Flag, Jamaica’s foremost gay rights organization.

The advocacy group recently released a video campaign called “We Are Jamaicans,” about LGBT identity and communities. The videos express the experiences of Jamaica’s LGBT community in a more diverse way. The videos can viewed at YouTube.com/EqualityJA. South Florida resident Lucas Gregorio* was born in Jamaica and lived there until he was 10-yearsold when he moved to the U.S. He lived in this country for 30 years before returning to Jamaica for two years where he saw the country’s homophobia firsthand. He moved back to Florida last year.

Gregorio recently watched the J-Flag videos and thought they were great. “The videos were well done. But when I sent the link to other Jamaicans,

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• SPRING 2014

some flat out would not watch them. Two did and thought they were great but believed their impact would be minimal,” he said.

Gregorio said the plight of gays in Jamaica is a difficult one. And unlike the U.S., it’s one that’s based on class.

“Jamaica is a status driven country,” he tells The Mirror. “So if you are perceived to be rich then it doesn’t matter what you do for the most part.”

But that could soon change. According to a recent Reuters report, the Jamaican government said it plans to test the waters by conducting a nonbinding “conscience vote” in parliament on ending the notorious Jamaican Offenses Against the Person Act, which makes anal sex a crime, regardless of gender or consent, and prohibits “acts of gross indecency” between men, in public or in private.

A vote in parliament would take place before the end of the legislative year in March, opening the door for the law to be reviewed, possibly later this year.

Gregorio said that change is long overdue. “I believe in equal protection under the law regardless of sexual orientation. I think more pressure should be placed on the government to change the laws and thus the attitudes of the masses toward gay Jamaicans.”

He feels Jamaican-Americans (and all Americans for that matter) living in South Florida can help influence what’s happening in Jamaica.

“The fact that I was considered an American even though I was born in Jamaica gave me more influence and credit when I spoke or gave my opinion,” Gregorio said. But, he said the real acceptance has to start with gays and lesbians on the island.

“The overall attitude of Jamaicans will only change when gays and lesbians in influential positions start demanding change. They should support grass roots movements life J-Flag and Jamaicans for Justice. But as long as they stay closeted, nothing will change,” Gregorio said. • * The name is an alias to protect the innocent

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25

INTERNATIONAL

African country criminalizes homosexuality

G

ay men and women beware in Kampala, capital of Uganda.

Despite urging from Western leaders, the African country of Uganda has declared war on homosexuality.

In late February, Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni signed a law that imposes tough jail terms for homosexual acts. Museveni called homosexuals “disgusting” and said their acts are “unnatural” and they should not be given human rights.

Museveni signed the law despite pleas from Western heads of state, including U.S. President Barack Obama who said the law is an “affront and danger to the gay community in Uganda.”

Obama further warned the new law would “complicate” relations between Uganda and the U.S. Museveni, Uganda’s longtime president, was pressured by members of his own political party to sign the legislation, first introduced into the Ugandan parliament in 2009 as the “kill the gays” bill because of its original intent to put homosexuals to death.

David Bahati, a member of Uganda’s ruling National Resistance Movement party, told Reuters,“(The law) is very much worth it because it will protect our values. I think a society that has no moral values is a contradiction to development.”

According to Amnesty International, Uganda is now one of 37 African countries where homosexuality is illegal. Fear reigns supreme in the African LGBT community. People living and working in Uganda and other nearby countries have remained tight-lipped about their day-to-day lives.

A Ugandan tabloid, The Red Pepper, has even begun printing the names of the country’s “top” homosexuals in response to the law’s requirement to report known gay people and provides penalties for

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• SPRING 2014

those who do not.

“It’s going to be hard to get anyone to talk about this,” said a person familiar with the situation on the ground in Uganda.

The consequences of Uganda’s law are likely to result in a massive exodus of gay people to more accepting countries, in the West, said Ugandan gay rights activist Frank Mugisha, who told London’s Daily Telegraph, “Countries like Britain and the U.S. will get many Ugandan asylum seekers.”

One consequence, foreign aid, is already taking shape. European nations, Norway and Denmark, have announced reductions in their foreign aid to Uganda. Likewise, the World Bank is currently diverting aid. The U.S. is reviewing its ties, but does not budge on its stance concerning same-sex relations.

Aaron Jensen, spokesperson for the Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor at the

By John McDonald

U.S. State Department, said, “The United States opposes any action that criminalizes same-sex conduct among adults.”

Museveni has held power in Uganda since 1986 and, officially, the country calls itself a republic. A landlocked country in East sub Sahara Africa, Uganda’s boundaries were created by Britain during colonization.

Uganda received its independence from Britain in 1962 and today has a population of more than 34 million people, ranking 37th globally.

Museveni had previously made public statements against imprisoning homosexuals for life, saying, instead, he believed gay people were “sick” and “abnormal.” His about face on the bill was tweeted to the world by a government spokesman, Ofwono Opondo, who also parroted the party line in another tweet: “The NRM caucus has welcomed the development as a measure to protect Ugandans from social deviants.”

While it is becoming more and more clear that social religious conservatives — with the help of American evangelicals — pushed this new law through Uganda’s parliament, the outcome leaves complicated conditions for world health organizations.

Doctor Vanessa Kerry, MD, MSc and CEO of Seed Global Health, released the following statement: “This issue is especially important to Seed Global Health, and me personally, because of our mission.

We strive to help improve the health of all where we work by supporting U.S. doctors and nurses to help train a new generation of medical and nursing providers in Uganda and other countries. We and our Ugandan partners can’t do this if patients are at risk disclosing their sexual orientation and doctors and nurses are put in harm’s way for treating

gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) Ugandans. Furthermore, we are restricted from safely sending volunteers to Uganda who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender themselves.”

Kerry joins a growing chorus of prominent public figures to condemn the Ugandan law. South African social rights activist, the Archbishop Desmond Tutu pleaded with Museveni to not sign the bill into law, equating discrimination against gay people to the horrors of World War II and atrocities of apartheid in South Africa.

“We must be entirely clear about this: the history of people is littered with attempts to legislate against love or marriage across class, caste, and race. But there is no scientific basis or genetic rationale for love. There is only the grace of God. There is no scientific justification for prejudice and discrimination, ever.

And nor is there any moral justification. Nazi Germany and apartheid South Africa, among others, attest to these facts,” Tutu said in a statement.

A retired Anglican bishop, Tutu was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984.

In his statement, Tutu asked Museveni to use this debate to strengthen Uganda’s culture of human rights and justice and asked the president to focus his energies on sexual exploitation rather than orientation.

The uproar surrounding Uganda’s criminalization of homosexuality has highlighted the problems LGBT people face on the continent of Africa, where homosexuality is illegal in 37 of Africa’s 55 countries with some penalties resulting in death.

“Any effort to outlaw or push LGBT Ugandans out of sight is wrong,” said Kerry, who is calling for the law’s repeal. “It hurts Uganda, the health of all its population, and the ability to treat all its citizens with the fundamental rights and dignity they and we all deserve. We believe Ugandans and the world deserve better.” •

Ways You Can Help LGBT Ugandans A coalition of Ugandan LGBT and human rights groups, the Civil Society Coalition On Human Rights and Constitutional Law, has issued guidelines on how people all over the world can help stand up to the nation’s anti-gay bill.

Visit Ugandans4Rights.org for more information.

1. Speak Out “It is very critical that we continue to speak out against the law and its implications in terms of security of the LGBTI community, their allies, and the general implications of the Act on the work around public health and human rights in general.”

2. World Wide Demonstrations “We call upon all partners, friends and allies to organize demonstrations in different cities around the world now as this Act is set to have detrimental effects for all of us. We all MUST continue to speak out. These could include demonstrations at the Ugandan embassy in our country, or asking your place of worship to organize a vigil.”

3. Contact International Companies “Call on Multinational companies that have businesses in Uganda to go public about their concerns on the Act and their future economic engagements in Uganda: For example Heineken, KLM, British Airways, Turkish Airlines, Barclays Bank, and other companies with important interests in Uganda and that already respect and value LGBT rights in their own internal policies, should note the risk that these laws pose for the safety of their own employees, as well as the impact on their brand image of continuing to do business in Uganda.”

4. Urge Asylum Reform “…adjust their asylum policy with regard to LGBTI persons from Uganda, Nigeria, Russia, Cameroun and other countries in which levels of state-sponsored homophobia are rapidly rising.”

5. Travel Advisories Urge the government to issue travel advisories “on Uganda, and remind them that they have a duty to protect and therefore should take responsibility for alerting their own LGBTI citizens to the risks of traveling to Uganda.”

6. Contact Travel Companies Contact travel companies “to urge them to also routinely issue such travel advisories to their customers (on the same principle that tobacco products must have a health warning visibly displayed, so flights and package holidays should have warnings of the risks of traveling to Uganda!)”

7. Urge Foreign Leaders to Speak Out “…to say something about the Act as they have not come out strongly as it was expected.”

8. Urge Celebrities to Speak Out “We need more voices that Ugandans recognize and revere socially to speak out against this Law.” 9. Contact Religious Leaders Contact religious leaders “of all faiths (Catholic, Anglican, Muslim, Protestant, Seventh Day Adventists, Quakers, etc.) to issue statements encouraging tolerance and respect for human rights for all Ugandans and Africans.”

Ugandan President, Yoweri Museveni

10. Contribute Donate “physical, financial, or technical support to the Coalition and the LGBTI community as well as the exposed Human Rights Defenders working on LGBTI rights who are likely to begin to be arrested and charged or otherwise persecuted. Financial and technical support for challenging the Act in the Constitutional Court and the East African Court of Justice.”

SPRING 2014 •

27

OPINION

Czar Vladimir the Virile

Is Putin Light in the Loafers?

By Norm Kent

R

ussian President, Vladimir Putin, is a 62-year-old hunk. He is a man’s man, virile and muscular. If he were on Scruff, he would be snapped up. But he can’t be gay, right?

I guess you never know.

A controversial new biography by a Russian political columnist, Stanislav Belkovsky, suggests that our buddy Vladimirovich may be “secretly gay,” which would help explain some of his mysterious anti-gay conduct this past year.

The book, titled simply “Putin,” declares that Vladimir Putin is a sexless man who may be ‘latently gay.’ Released in December, Belkovsky, a known opponent of the Russian president, speculates that “sex and a sex life are alien” to the politician.

Don’t expect that guy to get invited to the Kremlin anytime soon.

The March issue of the Advocate has a good feature about ‘love in Putin’s Russia,’ pointing out that life for gays and lesbians is ‘clandestine and convoluted.’ It’s just that when your country’s leader feels a need to expose his chest on horseback, well, heck, that’s what guys used to do in the gay magazines of the 50s.

To enhance the mystery, Putin divorced his wife of 30 years last summer. He now lives alone in the Presidential mansion with his two dogs, a female Labrador named Koni, and a Bulgarian Shepherd named Buffy.

Putin does have a great sense of humor — or a scary one — you decide. In a 2007 interview he said like everyone he has bad moods, and explained: “In those situations I try to consult with my dog Koni, who gives me good advice.” Don’t worry; even the present Obama White House has had some dogs as advisers too. Really, ‘Between two Ferns’?

Anyway, according to a recent Spiegel Online review of the new book, the publication depicts Putin as an extremely wealthy but “traumatized” and a “lonely person,” who shuns human contact.

As expected, a Putin spokesman, Dmitry Peskov declared to Spiegel that the allegations are “total rubbish.” Of course, a day later you see the Russian

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• SPRING 2014

media releasing a picture of a shirtless Putin wrestling a Bengal tiger. What is he trying to prove?

Realistically, the country’s dominant homophobic Russian Orthodox Church supports coming down on LGBT lifestyles in Russia. Don’t forget that the new Russia is not a dictatorship. Putin had to get popularly elected to win his office. It was not easy, either. The parliament had imposed term limits, and they had to be lifted for him to serve again. He’s popular, even more so now after showcasing the country in the Olympics.

Sponsoring, supporting, and speaking out for the anti gay legislation which poisoned the Russian canvas is being seen as an astute political move.

Putin says he is protecting kids from pedophilia. There are many Michele Bachman clones populating the former Soviet Union.

Over the years, have we not seen that historically those who are most strident about the integrity of their personal lives are the people who have something to cover up? How many preachers have had something going on behind their robes?

Meanwhile, Putin declares he is not homophobic, and as proof points out there are states in the U.S. with restrictive laws similar to their own.

We can thank Arizona, Utah and Kansas for giving life to Putin’s excuse.

Homophobic laws spread hate and invite discrimination. They force people into hiding.

The whole world is opening up to homosexuality, and in Russia they are trying to shut it down.

As American playwright Harvey Fierstein stated last summer in a New York Times, op-ed, “Mr. Putin’s campaign against lesbian, gay and bisexual people is a strategy of demonizing a minority for political gain taken straight from the Nazi playbook. Can we allow this war against human rights to go unanswered?”

After the gay propaganda law passed, Kvir, which means, “queer” in Russian, a print magazine with a monthly circulation of 35,000, was pulled from bookshelves nationwide. It is only accessible online.

A gay oriented press in Russia is even considered a privilege. In the Soviet era, it was illegal to print the word homosexual, not that Florida in the 70s though was much better.

Meanwhile, Putin has now shifted the international focus from being a homophobic crusader to a Crimean invader. Ironically, conservative tea party leaders in America and FOX News analysts are celebrating this man like he is some great leader, instead of a ruthless dictator. So speaketh the former mayor of Rudolph Giuliani, who gushed praise upon Putin for being so decisive about the Ukraine. Forgive me for the analogy, but

“Vladimir Putin is a sexless man who may be ‘latently gay.’”

Hitler was also decisive about the Jews, and I don’t know many political leaders heaping praise on the Nazi leader.

There is irony here. The former mayor of New York shared an apartment with two gay men when he was getting divorced in Manhattan. Now, here he is cheering on a guy who wants other gay men hung by their genitals in a public square. I mean, Putin has become the Russian czar of homophobia.

When you enact laws declaring the LGBT community should be closeted and secret, you are saying to every kid in your country their behavior is evil. You invite mistreatment, hostility, and eventually, brutality. Here in America, on the other hand, our President has openly celebrated our gayness, been a voice for diversity, standing tall internationally for equal rights for the LGBT community. And Fox News is celebrating whom?

Meanwhile, Putin insists gays are treated equally in Russia; that their laws do not discriminate.

Unfortunately, he is inviting people to do so. The guy who authored and engineered the passage of one of the harshest laws against LGBT freedom of expression anywhere in the world is no Abraham Lincoln. He isn’t exactly freeing the Ukraine, either, or saving their people from repression.

Vladimir Putin may have been lawfully elected but he is instilling a Russian democracy in their unique dictatorial, way, with armed forces, a red boot, and troops circling the border of a once free Ukraine. We may be in the 21st century in this world of ours, but that is not democracy the way we intended. •

SPRING 2014 •

TRAVEL

Popular event coming to Arizona for the first time

By John McDonald

G

ay Days, the popular brand known for its annual festivities in Orlando, is making a pioneering move out to the desert

Southwest.

Gay Days Arizona, May 8-12, offers gay men and women a chance to see sunny Arizona in posh accommodations in an inclusive environment.

The Arizona Grand Resort and Spa, inside Stone Mountain Park and Preserve, is the host site for five full days of activities for all tastes.

“There’s a lot happening out here,” said Ian Joseph, event planner, who expects 10,000 attendees for this initial entry of the Gay Days brand into Arizona.

Events are still being added, Joseph said, with entertainment selections to be determined. For now, Gay Days Arizona is proud to announce Bud Light has come aboard as presenting sponsor with energy drink website DitchtheCan.com a platinum sponsor.

“We’re excited,” Joseph said. “We just added a women’s white ‘bleach out’ party and are expecting more great activities to come.”

Arizona, a maverick state of sorts, produced one of the conservative movement’s greatest heroes in U.S. Senator Barry Goldwater. It is known for its dry air, dangerous border with Mexico and, of course, the Grand Canyon, one of the seven natural wonders of the world.

The Arizona Grand Resort and Spa is located just six miles from Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in the state capital and Arizona’s largest city. In addition to the customary pool parties and spinning DJs, Joseph’s company has a wide array of parties and activities planned from a 36-hole golf tournament to a Mad Hatter style Mother’s Day brunch.

30

• SPRING 2014

The resort boasts a seven acre water park, a great place to cool off as temperatures regularly exceed 100 degrees even in late spring. Joseph admitted there were “some risks” involved in launching this event in a traditionally conservative climate, but noted Phoenix is a rising destination for gay travelers.

“There is a strong local gay community here,” Joseph said.

Glenn Gullickson is part of that strong community. Managing editor at Echo Magazine, an LGBT publication covering Arizona for more than 25 years, Gullickson said there are ‘mucho’ things to do for gay travelers visiting Arizona.

“Phoenix is very welcoming,” Gullickson said.

“There are a lot of gay bars in central Phoenix and downtown has an active arts and cultural scene.”

For day trippers or those looking to break away from Phoenix for a few days, Sedona and Jerome rank high on Gullickson’s list of hot spots.

“I am very fond of Sedona and the Red Rock country,” he said. “It’s very mystical there and Jerome has quite a following as well. It’s an old ghost town, built on the side of a mountain that has been taken over by artists.”

Politically, Arizona leans right and has been slow to embrace LGBT rights and protections despite Goldwater’s legacy of “live and let live.” The state senate recently passed a bill that Gullickson said will allow businesses to discriminate against LGBT people on the basis of religion.

The bill, SB 1062, passed the senate on a partyline vote with 17 Republicans voting in favor and 13 Democrats voting no. The bill, however, generated a massive amount of negative press with companies such as Apple and Verizon even urging Arizona

Gov. Jan Brewer to veto the bill. In the end Brewer buckled under the pressure and vetoed the bill.

Gullickson said if she had he would have worried that it could have result in a “gay boycott” of Arizona.

This recent flap is somewhat surprising given Arizona’s tolerance for gay Republicans. Jim Kolbe served from 1985 to 2007 in the U.S. House of Representatives, becoming the second openly gay Republican congressman ever when he revealed his sexual orientation in 1996. Likewise, Paul Babeu won re-election in 2012 as sheriff of Pinal County after voters found out he was a gay man.

For Joseph, however, Gay Days Arizona is all about putting politics aside and relaxing in a luxurious environment. The Arizona Grand Resort and Spa, a former Hilton property, and the state’s only AAA Four Diamond and M&C Gold Key Award winning, all-suite resort is the perfect setting.

Gay Days Orlando began in 1991 as a single designated day where participants were encouraged to wear red clothing in a show of pride. The brand has grown to be a major production, eagerly anticipated in Orlando and, more recently Las Vegas, where more than 30,000 people attended the 2012 event.

Arizona is new ground and Gay Days organizers are hoping to strike gold with several different levels of passes and access.

This isn’t the first time Gay Days has headed west.

In 2012 they launched Gays Days Las Vegas. This year’s Vegas event will be held Sept. 2-8, while Gays Days’ signature event will be held in Orlando June 3-9, 2014.

Visit GayDaysAZ.com for more information. •

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31

FINANCE

o t $ y a W e r e n i h N ecome Ric B

By Ric Reily

D

o you know where your money goes, are you carrying too much debt or would you like to have some freedom from worrying about your money? Saving does not mean going without, using coupons or only buying on sale; though the latter two are great options.

Here are nine ways anyone can divert spending to saving.

1. Resist the Logo — Buses get paid to advertise. If you require a logo you are typically paying more just to show a famous name. Most of those logoed items are made in the same factories as less expensive items. Logos simply broadcast that you paid too much. Taking less expensive items and applying gay style is simply more fabulous!

2. Skip the Storage — This one is a twofer.

Do you lease a storage unit? First you spend money on stuff you don’t use and then you spend money storing it. We just sold the house and resisted putting anything in storage; within a year we wouldn’t even think about it so there is no reason to pay the rent.

Instead we had a gay old estate sale and put the money in the bank.

3. Downsize to Upsize — Are you living in too much space and spending too much money filling up the space with stuff? We sold our house to be closer to gay friendly Wilton Manors with its LGBT community, and to downsize. Our house became too big for our evolving needs and we no longer wanted to pay utilities, insurance, taxes and maintenance for all that space. Even when it isn’t feasible for you to move perhaps you can rent a spare room; after selling all the unused stuff in the unused room. Perhaps you may even rent the room to the lesbian who becomes your BFF. 32

• SPRING 2014

4. Water On Tap — Quench your gay thirst with tap water. Many big box stores sell a complete reverse osmosis system for a few hundred dollars, and many refrigerators have a built in water filtration system. Put that RO or filtered water into a stainless steel water bottle and save thousands of dollars buying juice, soda, and bottled water.

5. Watch for Free — Some of the best LGBT shows are on broadcast TV or basic cable. With the sheer number of channels premium cable services provide, can you even find the TV station you want to watch? Put your money and time to better use. Many shows are available for viewing on the Internet; if you’re a movie buff, a subscription service like Netflix may be more economical than premium channels.

6. Drive What You Can Afford — A friend recently posted a fancy hood ornament on his Facebook page, alluding to his new car purchase.

A car is to get you from here to there; it is not a reflection of you or your success though marketing works very hard to get you to believe that. Expensive cars are expensive to buy, repair, maintain, and insure. Let someone else pay for that money guzzler and instead of looking rich, get rich. Gay intuition always sniffs out the pretenders anyhow.

7. Eat to Live — Eating out regularly is a disaster on many levels. When you don’t stock the house with food, it is easy to eat out, call for delivery, or stop for takeout after a long day at work. Easier by far is to make a menu for the week, hit the store with a list, and buy fresh food that is easy to prepare.

The obvious benefit of eating at home is that you will eat better quality, more nutritious, lower calorie and lower fat foods, which will give you additional energy. Energy you can use to stay out longer on Saturday night.

8. Avoid the Mall — Stay out of the mall. If you are in a mall more than once a month, and only then with a specific purpose, then shopping is a pleasure not a necessity. One of the best ways to save money is to stay out of stores. If you stumble upon something you simply have to have, put it down, go home and if you still have to have it in a few days by all means go get it. Buy what you need, and spend your leisure time doing something good for your mind, body or soul instead. If you don’t shop for entertainment, at least you will have money for Sunday Tea Dance.

9. Stay Out of Debt — Pay your credit card bill when it arrives. Forget the minimum payment.

If you can’t pay the entire balance you should not make the purchase in the first place. You will be much happier never buying with a credit card what you could not have bought with cash. When gift giving for holidays, birthdays or weddings keep your budget to the cash you have on hand. If you don’t have much, give handmade items, baked goods, or the gift of your time. It will be much more appreciated than anything you bought in a store, and remembered far longer!

By knowing where your money goes, not carrying debt and converting spending to saving you will have freedom from worrying about money.

Ric Reily is the author of two books, “Money Is The Root Of All - Skip The Debt Habit,” and “Gregory’s Hero”; his firm CFO On Call provides small business finance and operations consulting. Ric is married to John, his partner of 28 years, and lives in South Florida with their Havanese dog, Buckley. You can reach Ric at ricreily@gmail.com •

SPRING 2014 •

33

GAY CAR GEEK

Scoop

The Coupe

Now These Cars Ain’t for Everybody, Only the Sexy People

By Steve Siler Wanna look butch? Get a truck. Wanna be seen? Get a convertible.

But if you want to look sexy, get yourself a coupe.

In an age when cars are expected to hold more people, carry more things, see better, go faster and do it all while sipping fuel, the good old-fashion two-door remains an innately self-indulgent and decidedly personal form of transportation. Unlike more staid sedans, coupes are sleek, low-slung, and have fewer unsightly cutlines on their bodies. Coupes also tend to be more expensive and less accommodating in back, which of course, make them that much more desirable.

That said, coupes have become something of an endangered species, with more and more people, single or married, finding their way into four-doors or crossing over to crossovers.

So I’m happy to see that, this year, twodoors are making a bit of a comeback, with several all-new or redesigned models being introduced this year.

We’ve assembled a group of five all-new two-doors that you’ll want to know about. If you’re sexy, that is.

2014 BMW 2-Series Base Price: $33,025

BMW has not one, but two all-new coupes coming out for 2014: the 4-Series and the 2-Series. I have chosen to highlight the 2-Series, and for three valid reasons: 1) it is an all-new model, with no four-door counterpart (the larger 4-Series is essentially a 3-Series coupe), and 2) it is cheaper, and 3) it’s better looking.

As with the 4-Series, BMW has never offered a 2-Series, though it effectively replaces the 1-Series coupe that’s been sold here in previous years. Smaller than the 4-Series but blessed with much of what makes the 3and 4-Series so great—rear-wheel-drive handling, zesty turbocharged four- and six-cylinder engines, and fabulous transmissions—the 2-Series is scrappy and a bit of a badass compared to the debonair 4-Series. The rear seat is pretty small, but then, if you want a big back seat, BMW makes plenty of nice fourdoors you can check out.

Initially, it will be available in 240-hp 228i and 320-hp M235i forms, with prices starting at $33,025 and $44,025, respectively, with prices rising considerably once options are added. But being a BMW, even the base model will drive well and look great doing so.

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• SPRING 2014

2015 Lexus RC Base Price*: $40K

The compact Lexus IS sport sedan is really, really fun. While it’s a touch overstyled, it has solid bones and is an absolutely brilliant performance car, one that would be even better as a coupe. Well, behold said coupe version: the 2015 Lexus RC. It has a different name, sure, but it is essentially the same as the sedan, with pretty much an identical interior, only with two fewer doors. The RC’s styling is even more, um, expressive, than the sedan, but coupes are all about style, so why not?

It brings a sense of occasion without brutalizing your eyeballs the way some musclecars do.

If the frisky IS is anything to go by, the RC will be sweet to drive — perfect steering, revvy six-cylinder engines, and sparkling handling — fulfilling every promise that its rowdy styling makes. If that’s not enough, a hopped-up RC-F will be introduced later with even crazier styling and ridiculous amounts of horsepower. Pricing for the RC will start around 40 large when it arrives later this year.

2015 Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe

Base Price: $120,000 (est.)

And then there’s this. Shown here in concept form, the first-ever Mercedes-Benz S-Class coupe will be one of the most decadent and elegant grand touring coupes in history, combining all of the technological brilliance of the S-Class sedan, which was redesigned for 2014, with prodigious powertrains and lip-smacking styling. (The S-Class coupe is actually the replacement for last year’s big CL, but by switching to the S-Class name makes it easier for everyone.)

The production version won’t look much different than this, thankfully. It proudly brandishes longstanding Benz coupe cues such as a low, wide grille, big three-pointed star emblem, and pillarless windows. The interior will feature the very best stuff Mercedes can think up, much of it hand-assembled with laser-like precision. Under the hood will be some seriously powerful engines, the least of which will produce about 455 hp and the most powerful of which could be a V-12 with 621 hp or more.

Prices will start around $120K and rise up well over $200K. Start saving now.

Renowned automotive journalist and gay car geek Steve Siler has turned his life-long love of cars into an enthusiastic career traveling the world to report on new automobiles as they are introduced. Siler pioneered automotive writing for the LGBT community in the late 1990s and is a regular contributor to Car and Driver Magazine, AutoTrader.com, AOL Autos, Yahoo! Autos, and the New York Daily News. You can follow him @silerroad on Twitter.

2015 Cadillac ATS Coupe Base Price: $40,000 (est.)

Standing in stark contrast to the overwrought Lexus RC is the slick, tasteful ATS coupe. Designed to go head-to-head with the new BMW 4-Series and Mercedes-Benz C-Class coupe, the upcoming ATS coupe embodies Cadillac luxury with elegance at its very best. With uncluttered lines and conventional proportions, the ATS could be considered almost too understated, at risk of getting outblinged in the showroom next to the dressy new CTS sedan and the chrome-drenched Escalade. The ATS Coupe is also the first production Cadillac we’ve seen with its new logo design, which does away with the kitschy laurel wreath that used to partially circumscribe its logo, leaving only the geometric crest to adorn the brand’s big, egg-crate grilles.

In any case, I believe it will more than flatter its owner, and more than coddle him or her inside its contemporarily styled interior. The cabin features a boatload of technology, ranging from a slick, app-based infotainment, OnStar services, and even 4G wireless hotspot connectivity. It’ll also be quick, with a choice of a 272-hp turbocharged four-cylinder or a 321-hp V-6 under the straked hood. Make mine black.

2015 Ford Mustang Base Price: $25,000 (est.)

The Mustang is as close to an automotive deity as exists in this world. And it’s not every year that an all-new one arrives, and so this car’s arrival is big, big news. This generation also marks the return of a true fastback look to the coupe, meaning the roof falls back to the ducktail tush in a straight line. And it looks absolutely terrific. Also new is the low, brooding nose (still shark-like, gratefully) and beveled, threedimensional tail lamps, which remain sequential when actuated. A new interior also brings Ford’s most famous horse into the new millennium in terms of technology and comfort, but retails some of the prior model’s 60’s-era kitsch.

A turbo four-cylinder engine has been added to the lineup (gasp!), but don’t worry, with 305 hp, it’s a powerful one and should get good fuel economy; a 300-hp V-6 and a roaring 420-hp V-8 are also available. We’d go for the V-8, naturally. I mean, with a car like this, it’s all about brawn. So bring it.

The only downside is that the Mustang is oh-so-common in the rental car fleets, although mostly in convertible form, so if you get the hardtop, you’re golden.

SPRING 2014 •

35

BOOKS

The Best

LGBT Books “American Savage”

By Dan Savage

You can’t talk about it to anyone.

You’ve got this sticky issue, a little problem, a thing you need help with but you aren’t sure you can trust anybody. Your sister is a big-mouth, your mom won’t understand, and your BFF, well… no.

You need help in the form of advice. You need it straight-up, no bull, all honest. And when you read “American Savage,” the new memoir-advice book by Dan Savage, that’s what you get.

As a young boy growing up in Chicago, Dan Savage was steeped in Catholicism.

His father, a cop by profession, was an ordained permanent diaconate. His mother was a lay minister. Savage himself was an altar boy but when he realized he was gay and that the Church had a few things to say about it (none positive), he left the fold.

Still, he says, “… I was never abused by a priest. I was saved by one” who came out to Savage’s mother to calm her fears for her son. And though the Church “got sex wrong,” and though he’s an “agnosthatheist,” Savage says he “aches” for the loss of religious comfort.

But that’s not all he has on his mind in this book.

As the creator of Savage Love, a sex-and-relationship column, Savage is fierce about making sure his readers get sensible advice. He says that cheating, for instance, isn’t okay except when it is. He advocates being monogamish, being GGG, and being willing to at least try something before condemning it as “too kinky.”

Speaking of condemning, Savage takes on politicians, especially those who are right-wing, conservative, and Christian; in particular, he quotes evidence to dispute the anti-gay bigotry that often comes from that side of politics.

As a married “different kind of fag” and the father of a teen who “came out… a few years ago – as straight,” Savage has a stake in quashing that kind of hate.

In this book, Savage also writes about adoption, Halloween (the straight people’s version of pride parades), “basic civil rights protection,” God, and respecting older gay men. As founder of the It Gets Better Project, he goes to bat for LGBT teens. He writes about sex, [Rick Santorum’s] “Google problem,” and he offers a challenge to those who believe being gay is a “choice.”

Want a book that’s going to make you say, “Heck, yes!” just about every third page? Yep, that pretty well describes “American Savage.”

It’ll be hard to remain seated while you’re reading, in fact, because author Dan Savage makes you want to stand and applaud at his common-sense words. Savage rants — but he’s hilarious while he’s

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doing so, which will make you want to phone friends so you can share. He’s profound and profane, thoughtful and thought provoking, and his personal stories will bring tears to your eyes.

I truly enjoyed this book. I liked it for its truth, for its snark, and for its not-so-goodnatured poking at politicos — and I think you’ll like it too, because “American Savage” is a book worth talking about. •

“Confessions of a Wild Child”

By Jackie Collins

Oh, the things you got away with when you were a teen!

Cutting classes and hanging out in the school parking lot. Sneaking out of the house when your parents thought you were asleep, parties when they weren’t home, “borrowing” their car, busting curfew, stupid stuff you hope your kids never do.

You got away with a lot. It’s a good thing your mother never knew.

Then again, as you’ll see in “Confessions of a Wild Child” by Jackie Collins, she probably did the same things when she was a kid.

Almost-fifteen-year-old Lucky Santangelo was tired of being in prison.

Ever since her mother was murdered ten years prior, Lucky’s father, Gino, kept Lucky and her brother, Dario (who’s a closeted gay teen), locked in their posh Bel Air mansion. They weren’t allowed to go anywhere unchaperoned, though Lucky was good at sneaking out. Outwitting Gino was fun — until the day he informed her that she was being shipped to a “very expensive” boarding school in Switzerland.

As it turned out, it wasn’t the worst thing that ever happened.

Eager to find out about boys and sex, Lucky and her boarding school roommate escaped every night, biked into town, drank, and played a game Lucky called “Almost.” It was a fun,

“The Rebellion of Miss Lucy Ann Lobdell”

By William Klaber

In your lifetime, you’ve wished upon many stars.

You’ve spotted a twinkle in the night sky and hoped for love or fulfillment of a dream. You’ve wished for good grades, better money, the return of a loved one. And sometimes, you’ve wished for the impossible.

But was the wish fulfilled, or was the star just another ball of gas? For a woman in the 1850s, it was the latter: in “The Rebellion of Miss Lucy Ann Lobdell” by William Klaber, Lucy futilely wished she was a man.

On the morning when she cut her hair, donned her brother’s clothes, and slipped from her parents’ house before daybreak, Lucy Slater left more than a wretched life behind. She also left her daughter, Helen, which tore her heart. Still, the decision to flee wasn’t difficult.

Three years prior, Lucy’s husband abandoned his family, leaving them with nothing and forcing them to live with Lucy’s parents. Since she’d married against parental approval, there was only hostility in their home — a situation made worse because they knew that Lucy was most comfortable in the woods, wearing her little brother’s clothes. That was unseemly for a lady in upstate New York, 1855.

Men had it so much better. They could live without care, wearing

empowering game in which she “almost” lost her virginity to several local boys.

Kicked out of the Swiss school for “Almost,” Lucky was sent to a different school in Connecticut but she didn’t stay long: her former roomie, a Greek heiress named Olivia, invited Lucky to the south of France. It was easy to get there. It was even easier to forget to tell Gino where she was.

Caught once again, Lucky was dragged to Las Vegas, where Gino told her that he’d figured out how to tame her. As much as she wanted to walk in her father’s footsteps and go into business, Lucky wasn’t destined to run the Santangelo Empire. No, that would be Dario’s future. For Lucky, marriage and babies were inevitable.

And Gino Santangelo believed that was that.

But if he thought he had a wild child before, he hadn’t seen anything yet…

Every once in awhile, I get in the mood for a good trashy novel and, really, you can’t beat a book by author Jackie Collins.

You can’t. Still, there are bumps and bruises inside “Confessions of a Wild Child.”

It’s often hard, first of all, for an adult to write in the voice of a young teenager, and the first few pages of this book reflect it: Lucky sounds like a middle-aged woman. That bump passes quickly, but occasionally returns; there are also light continuity errors in here, and some preening repetition.

Turn up the heat, though, and you’ve got a story that has its flaws but is, overall, a delightfully guilty pleasure.

Though Lucky is a teenager in this book, this is an escapistnovel for adults. If you’re looking, in fact, for something to take on that mid-winter vacation, “Confessions of a Wild Child” is a great book to get away with. •

breeches and shirts. They could hold jobs that paid a decent days’ wage. She envied them. So Lucy Slater boarded a train headed east, and became Joseph Lobdell.

Fearing that he’d be unmasked, Joseph kept to himself until he could grab a barge to Honesdale, Pennsylvania. There, he played the violin for patrons in a downtown inn, and he started a dancing school for the young ladies of the growing city.

Honesdale was also where Joseph fell in love with a seventeen-year-old named Lydia.

But Honesdale wasn’t far enough from New York, and someone recognized Joseph for who he really was. He’d heard about opportunities in Minnesota so, running for his life, he left Pennsylvania for the Midwest, and a life he’d been denied…

Sounds like a good adventure yarn, doesn’t it? It is – and it’s even more enjoyable, once you know that “The Rebellion of Miss Lucy Ann Lobdell” is based on real life.

In his after-notes, author William Klaber says that he learned about Lucy Lobdell Slater from a writer-friend who wanted the story told. Knowing that the dearth of facts could hinder a biography, Klaber decided to fill in the blanks with fiction.

This book is none the lesser for it.

In giving Lucy the voice of narrator, Klaber lends a sure vulnerability that surprisingly lingers, and wistfulness that adds a note of sadness. He also gives her a feisty singlemindedness and keen awareness that what she was doing wasn’t just scandalous but was downright criminal. Readers who remember that important point will love this book as much as I did.

Perfect for historians, feminists, and anybody who enjoys historical fiction, this novel is a definite winner. If that’s you, then look for it because “The Rebellion of Miss Lucy Ann Lobdell” gets five stars. •

SPRING 2014 •

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SPRING 2014 •

39

COFFEE TABLE

An Unshaved History

Interview with Author, Dr. Kevin Clarke

F

rom the Book...

In his new book, Kevin Clarke, bestselling author of Porn — from Andy Warhol to X-Tube, shows us beards from the gay perspective.

In addition to his view on the clones of the 1970s and their recent return, there are interviews and facts about beards as well as photographs showing how erotic a man’s beard can be. From bestselling author Kevin Clarke Gay view on history of the beard Trend: The beard as an expression of the modern man Below is The Mirror’s interview with Clarke.

Promiscuity,” the outward sign that the AIDS crisis is over for good? So I told the Gmünder editors that if I were to do a beard book, I didn’t want to write about grooming products or shampoo, but make seventies icons such as Al Parker — whom his biographer calls “The Original Clone” — the starting point for my journey through the centuries, and look at bearded history from a pronounced gay perspective.

Why are you so fascinated with beards? At what age did it start?

After WW2, all facial hair was seen as politically suspicious. Don’t forget, Adolf Hitler had worn a clipped mustache, Stalin was sporting a bushy one, and the fathers of communism all had beards. Men in the West wanted to avoid being associated with such people at all costs, certainly in McCarthy-era America.

A clean-shaven corporate look became the new standard, as can be seen in the early seasons of Mad Men. Then the Woodstock generation started shaking things up in the later sixties, turning against such standards. Emancipated gays, after Stonewall in 1969, adopted that Woodstock look

I guess I’ve always loved hairy guys: face, chest, butt. And I have a partner who looks great with a full beard. (laughs) But the main reason for wanting to write a book on beards was a deep rooted interest in gay history. When publisher Bruno Gmünder first discussed the idea of a beard book with me, images of 1970s gay clones with their heavy stubble and mustaches shot through my head. To be exact, photos I had discovered a few years earlier in the archives of the Schwule Museum Berlin while

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Why did gays adopt the beard as a sign of liberation in the 1970s?

researching my previous Gmünder book, Porn: From Andy Warhol to X-Tube (2011).

These vintage guys made quite an impression on me — probably because they reminded me of my own youth. I had always wondered why they had shaved off their trademark accessory once the AIDS crisis hit in the eighties, the time I was finally old enough to have sex with them. And I wanted to find out why now, all of a sudden, a whole new generation of “post-gay” men grew their beards back.

Was this a return to the “Golden Age of

and developed it further. Their aim: showing that they were no longer closeted clean-shaven “Boys in the Band” but self-confident males.

“Gone were the supposedly self-hating queens who lived only to service straight trade, who spent a lifetime on their knees,” writes David Halperin in his book How to be Gay. “No longer were gay men alternately one another’s sisters and one another’s rivals for the favors of the young and the beautiful; now they were one another’s preferred objects of desire. ‘We’re the men we’ve been looking for’ was the watchword of the 1970s.”

And the men who the gays claimed to have always desired were rough bearded guys in jeans and worker clothes. The restyle was certainly “rugged and handsome.” Urban Marlboro men populated the emerging gay scene, worldwide. Of course, once the AIDS crisis started, no one wanted to look “homosexual” or “sexually dangerous,” because that would have meant being stigmatized. So off came the beards, and the body hair, to show there were no signs of decay on the heavily pumped-

up bodies that became the new ideal, in the “plastic” porn films of the eighties, as well as in real life.

Any interesting facts about beards you uncovered while researching this book you want to share?

What I found most fascinating is how three very different groups of people adopted beards after 2001 for very different reasons, but collectively inspired the world to grow back big old-fashioned beards.

First, you have the gays who abandoned the clean-shaven Calvin Klein ideal of the 1990s and went for a hairier look, previously made popular by the bear movement; in a way, it was a maneuver to differentiate themselves from the hordes of “metrosexuals” who had all started to look like wannabe homosexuals.

Then you have the renaissance of Wild West mentality and cowboy fashion after 9/11 in conservative heterosexual American circles, a trend that strangely overlapped with the bear movement and found its way into nearly every style magazine of this world — checked shirts, lumberjack outfits, the works.

Then you have the asexual hipsters, adopting the Taliban beard as an anti-establishment statement, but eliminating its political implications. As a result, you can’t tell from a beard which sexual or political orientation a man has today. That’s something new in history, where beards had always functioned as a “marker.”

I guess this anything-goes-attitude makes beards so attractive. Because now they are now just that: a fabulous fashion accessory. Or, as Mike Yerxa from MTV’s 1 Girl 5 Gays puts it, “Forget about glasses, watches, ties, shoes, or hats — the beard is the greatest male accessory of all time.” The editors of the trendy magazine Fantastic Man add: “Prominence, virility, and wisdom are just some of the powers a beard can lend to its wearer. Beards are undeniably rugged and handsome.” I’ll say Amen to that!

What’s your favorite beard story in the book?

One thing that made a lasting impression on me was what fashion photographer Pedro Virgil said: “These days, it’s all about being relaxed with yourself, not just in the fashion world, but in all areas of life. I think people would rather equate ‘relaxed’ to ‘masculine,’ and not ‘gay’ or ‘straight,’ ‘queer’ or whatever. Which is probably why many people don’t want to see overly manicured men, which includes extremely buff gym bodies, anything that signals ‘high maintenance.’ Beards are a clear outward sign of such relaxedness.”

But I also love female porn director Mr. Pam’s observation: “In the more ‘piggy’ style of porn, beards work as a flavor-saver. If a guy eats some other guy’s ass out, his whole beard will smell of ass subsequently. If you’re into that, you can run around all day smelling your upper lip and being turned on by what you did earlier. So, for the ‘piggy boys’ out there, that’s awesome.” It’s kind of funny that this insight came from the only woman I interviewed for the book!

What’s next for you?

I’ve just been to New York to work on a new book called “The Big Penis Collection.” (laughs) It is another gay history, in a way, but instead of beards it focuses on the penis-centered art collection at the Leslie + Lohman Museum. You could say that I’m working my way through all of my obsessions. One by one. But I enjoy doing it, it helps me understand and enjoy them better. (laughs) •

SPRING 2014 •

41

FITNESS

Get Circuit Party Ripped, Circuit Style

By Mark Moon

S

o it’s that time of year again where you have been going balls to the wall in the gym all year to make good gains in size, shape, and definition and now it’s time to peel back the layers and see all your hard work unfold. We all love a great set of shoulders, well defined chest, bulging biceps and a nicely sculpted midsection… Especially on ourselves!

The trick now is to maintain all the hard work you have put it while staying big, but getting lean and defined for the next few months. This can be a bit of a balancing act between exercise intensity, exercise frequency, and optimal nutrition.

In this article I will share with you my number one rule to not only getting that body, but also keeping it lean and ripped right throughout summer.

Rule #1 Exercise Intensity If you’re looking to get ripped, maintain size and have better overall definition, HIIT (high intensity interval training) will help you get there. Drop more short-duration high-intensity workouts into your training regime and see your results soar.

The benefits of short, high-intensity training sessions are all about your post-recovery state – if you’re working harder you’re going to have a slightly elevated heart and metabolic rate, meaning you’re burning more calories over the recovery period as well as when you’re actually training. Some studies have shown that HIIT burns 9x more fat than traditional cardiovascular exercise and keeps your metabolism elevated for more than 24 hours afterwards! This means you are going to keep burning calories long after you have finished exercising.

HIIT helps burn fat while maintaining muscle through a stop-start system of training that’s transferable to almost any exercises. HIIT, as the name suggests, combines high-intensity calorie-torching periods of activity with low-intensity recovery periods. The average male can easily torch 350-450 calories in only a 30 minute training session.

Get Super Ripped with Super Circuits I am a huge fan of super circuits (or giant sets) for a few reasons. Firstly they just work so well and secondly they keep you switched on and motivated. Time just flies by in a super circuit, and if you’re anything like me and get bored easily then this is an essential element of any workout! If you are looking for the “ultimate cardio blast” that activates every muscle in your body, then try this little ripper below and let me know how you go!

To complete my ‘super circuit’ workout, run through exercises one to four resting maximum 30 seconds between each exercise, performing 10 reps of each to failure. Then perform your cardio exercise for 60 seconds nonstop. Rest for two – three minutes (depending on your fitness level) and repeat four sets through.

The Workout To get started choose four exercises you want to use for that workout containing one for each body part using back, shoulders, legs, chest, cardio. The first set through will be your warm up set, using a moderate weight for each exercise, once

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that is complete choose a weight that will have you failing at around the 10th rep for each exercise. Once this is done, you have three maximum output rounds for the workout.

Example Workout

Exercise #1 – Chin Ups Exercise #2 – Dumbbell Shoulder Press Exercise #3 – Walking Lunges Holding Dumbbells Exercise #4 – Push-Ups Exercise #5 – Rower Machine 60 seconds maximum speed This simple but effective workout will have your muscles and your heart rate pumping. Combine this workout regime with a healthy eating plan that’s high in protein, fruit and vegetables, and you’re well on your way to developing a five-star fat-blasting regime!

Top 3 Cardio Choices Rower

Perfect for a full body cardio blast that uses both upper and lower body to power through the workout, plus you have the added benefit that the rower is a non-impact exercise.

Plyometric Exercises

Not for the faint hearted or the beginner exerciser, but definitely worth the effort. When performing plyometric exercises attention to the landing phase is critical to eliminate excess impact on the knee joints and to ensure the workout is all muscle!

Boxing

If something with a little more skill is more your style then boxing could just be the thing for you.

Boxing is not only an awesome calorie burner; it’s also a great way to get out some extra aggression if the need arises. When done with a partner boxing is also a great way to increase your co-ordination and get some one-on-one interaction. Boxing is also great to bring out definition in the shoulders, upper back and arms. •

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SPRING 2014 •

43

PROFILE

Activist, Author and Most Importantly... Survivor

A profile on Sean Strub, POZ magazine founder

By Christiana Lilly

A

politician, an activist, a journalist, an author, a survivor.

Is there anything Sean Strub hasn’t done?

The founder of POZ magazine, the first openly HIV positive person to ever run for Congress, and a whole resume of more accomplishments, Strub spoke with The Mirror about his life and his book “Body Counts: A Memoir of Politics, Sex, AIDS, and Survival.”

Strub’s story begins in his hometown of Iowa City, Iowa, where the youngster was surrounded by the student demonstrations at the University of Iowa. He witnesses the cry for black power, women’s liberation, and a plea to end the war in Vietnam. It also opened his eyes to his own sexuality.

“I started to become aware of gay people, and I do remember when I’d see posters for the gay people’s union at the University of Iowa,” he said.

When he was 16, he parked his car across from their meeting and watched members walk in and out of the church, seeing “live homosexual people,” people who were like him Living near a politically active university, Strub became engrossed in politics in the summer of 1975 when Democratic candidates were crisscrossing the state. As a page in the state legislature, he drove them around the area. He met Iowa Sen. Dick Clark, who got him a job to run the senators-only elevator at the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. — every day, he was surrounded by policymakers.

“I saw the process up close and for a political junkies, it was like a contact high every day,” he said. “I thought, at 17 years old, I had the greatest job in the world.”

In 1976, the country was celebrating its bicentennial, a time of rebirth for the country with the Watergate scandal and the Vietnam War behind it. For Strub, he was also coming to grips with his attraction to men and feeling that it would be impossible to be gay and a politician.

Even so, Strub started hitting the nightlife scene and discovered the gay newspaper, The Washington Blade, where he was astonished that people in the paper were openly gay and used their real names.

Searching for a place where he could be open as well, he moved to New York City in 1979 after coming out to his parents. When he first moved to the city, he had an awakening after leaving Studio 54 with a friend, cutting through Central Park at 6 a.m., and for the first time, he held hands with a man in public.

“It felt so daring and so exciting and liberating,” Strub said. “I knew I had to live in that city, and that city would be a central part of my life for the rest of my life.”

The city would also become the center of the AIDS epidemic. In the first news story about the mysterious disease, Strub, then 23, read about three symptoms he was experiencing: weight loss, night sweats, and swollen lymph nodes. Then, in 1985, when he got sick over Labor Day weekend and there was finally a test — but still no treatment — the doctor had tears in his eyes when he told Strub he had two years at most to live.

“Most people didn’t take the test because if you had it, there was nothing you could do about it,” he said.

Strub sold his home in the city and bought a weekend house in Bucks County, Penn. and prepared for death. Then he discovered the People With AIDS Coalition, a group of people who were not sitting idly by waiting to die, but instead called for action. Then, he joined ACT UP and participated in the famed movement where they put a 35-foot canvas condom on the home of North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, who was opposed to government funding of AIDS research and treatment.

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• SPRING 2014

“We were going to more funerals and memorials than birthday parties,” Strub said. “We felt we were being allowed to die.”

In 1990, Strub became the first openly HIV positive person to run for Congress. He then founded POZ magazine in 1994 and also produced “The Night Larry Kramer Kissed Me.” In 1996, when a treatment therapy was finally available, he jumped back from near death and has since been a huge advocate for HIV patients and a litany of other causes.

“Those years showed the very best face of the LGBT community. It showed an incredible outpouring of love and mutual support and a transcendent of things that had divided this community with the broader society,” he said.

Visit StonewallNationalMuseum.org for more information about the museum or SeanStrub.com for more information on Sean Strub. •

SPRING 2014 •

45

FEATURE

The Rising Cost of Care HIV may be manageable but this $#*+ ain’t cheap!

By John McDonald

P

hil Lauderhill takes medications daily to treat his condition. Lauderhill, 36, has been HIV positive for 10 years now, but like most people cannot afford to pay for his treatment alone.

A food service worker, Lauderhill lives near the poverty line. He relies on the U.S. government’s Ryan White Care Act for his treatment. Lauderhill, like all Americans, dreams of independence and liberty and would like to take greater control of his health care.

“I just don’t see how I can pay for my HIV meds,” he said.

Lauderhill is not alone. Paying for HIV/AIDS treatment is quite a daunting task for those living with the virus. To advocate for those people, the Fair Prices Coalition was formed. An ad hoc group of activists, the Fair Prices Coalition (FPC) is taking on the pharmaceutical industry. The new front in this battle is over Qualified Health Plans, said FPC co-chair Lynda Dee. “The QHPs mandated by the Affordable Care Act are good news for many people living with HIV and/ or hepatitis C, as it means they can’t be denied health insurance, because of pre-existing conditions,” Dee explained. “This ensures the provision of essential health benefits, including important primary care services, access to specialists, and prescription drug benefits.”

“However, many plans are proving financially disastrous for people living HIV, hepatitis C, and other chronic diseases,” Dee added.

By disastrous, Dee means, a state can set a minimum standard for their “essential benefits” package that requires only limited coverage of antiretroviral medications and other high cost drug classes.

“This situation is made worse by high drug prices being set and increased annually by manufacturers, along with an inexcusable lack of direction from the

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• SPRING 2014

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services regarding co-pay assistance programs for people receiving care under ACA-mandated plans,” Dee said.

Presently, thirty-three medications have been approved by the U.S. government to fight HIV/ AIDS with many more in development. There are five classes of HIV/AIDS medications and the recommendation is for a patient to take three of those drugs in a combination therapy, said Donna Sabatino, a nurse for the Janssen Company.

“Once you start there’s no stopping,” Sabatino said. “Drug holidays are not happening anymore.”

And starting HIV therapy requires money.

Jason King, a legislative affairs manager for the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, estimates the cost of medications to be between 10 thousand to 50 thousand dollars per person annually.

The problem, King said, is the system is destined to collapse and options for generic medications are limited.

“There are very few generics and there are people who don’t want to take older drugs because there’s more toxicity,” King said.

Atripla, King said, is the most widely used oncea-day pill used to treat HIV/AIDS. The drug, a multi-class combination pill, is put on the market

by Gilead Sciences, Inc. with a $28,500 annual wholesale acquisition price.

“I was on Atripla,” Lauderhill said. “I remember having very vivid dreams. Eventually, I decided to take a holiday.”

Lauderhill was off medications entirely for nearly three years after consultation with his specialist and a desire to pursue a holistic life. He recently resumed his therapy, taking two pills — Epzicom and Tivicay — once a day. His numbers are great, he says, as the new regimen has reduced the level of HIV in his blood cells to undetectable status.

“The government says you should be undetectable

within six months of beginning therapy as prescribed,” said Sabatino, who added the new terminology for HIV status is “virus suppressed” as opposed to “undetectable.”

The strategy, Sabatino said, is to still hit the virus hard upon diagnosis with the three drug “cocktail.”

To do that, patients will need financial assistance as King notes, “nobody pays outright for their drugs.” Many of the American pharmaceutical companies have co-pay assistance programs based on income level. Consumers also have the option of purchasing their medications out of the country in places such as Canada or India, although there are legal implications and other risks to consider.

One thing, however, is quite certain in this saga and that is the need to provide affordable options to the 1.1 million people living with the HIV virus in the U.S. King says the Affordable Care Act garnered the support of the pharmaceutical industry by not addressing the rising cost of drugs, which was a primary factor for the legislation’s passage. He went on to say the system is running on an unsustainable path due to the rising cost of drugs.

“We are among the few developed nations that do not have a single-payer or universal health system,” King said. •

SPRING 2014 •

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By Gary M. Kramer

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These three gay actors will have you wanting more

W

ith cable, Web series, and independent films offering openly gay actors exposure, a trio of out actors are generating attention and breaking stereotypes by playing gay characters that mirror viewers’ lives as well as their own.

Joe Komara made a splash as Tyler, the gay bartender on the Cinemax series, “The Girl’s Guide to Depravity.” Dispensing drinks and talking trash to Sam (Rebecca Blumhagen) and her friends in the sitcom, Komara recently chatted about “Depravity” with total decorum.

“Sex is easy to talk about. It’s not a big deal,” the attractive actor said, referring to his character’s no-holds-barred discussions in the show. In real life, Komara admits he mirrors his on-screen character in some ways. “I say what I’m thinking, I have a dirty mouth and [playing Tyler] made it even worse. There’s nothing I don’t think is inappropriate.”

He acknowledged that such candor is fine in Hollywood, but not in the Midwest, where Komara was raised. Still, he observed, “As an actor, you have to put yourself into a mindset — a mentality, a behavior pattern — that is the norm for that character. I have to accept that it’s OK to talk about the nasty most sexual thing possible.”

What Komara won’t discuss is religion and politics. “It is not what I want to talk about. It becomes conversation for how we are different. If we point at each other’s differences, we make those borders stronger, thicker, and wider.”

The actor also cited that barriers also arise when people try to identify Tyler —who has slept with men and women, and last season married a woman to get a green card — as gay, or bi, or

queer. He even detests the stereotype of bartenders being “sexual creatures of the night.” He explained, “I dislike labels. The more we have the more we distance ourselves from people. I love that Tyler started out being an ‘equal opportunity whore,’ which sounds terrible, but is kind of awesome. I don’t need a label or excuses. That he got a boyfriend doesn’t mean he changed his label [from bi]. He’s a sexually open person. He’s broken barriers—he’s married, but not to a man.”

Komara emphasizes that while “Girl’s Guide to Depravity” looks at sex, dating and relationships, he sees the arcs of the characters — from Tyler to Sam — as coming from similar place.

“I think that what the girls do in the show mirrors the gay personal life. It’s where sex is such a big deal and such a definition of the cultural psyche.”

Komara is secure in having Tyler and the show on his growing resume. “I was worried about [being out] in the beginning, but I think the lines are getting blurred because out actors like Neil Patrick Harris are playing straight characters.”

He continued, “I’ve played a character and have experience— that should be the only thing that people see. But people want to judge and generalize. Being on a pay cable channel is still not mainstream. But it’s a notch, and experience.”

Komara, who also performs as a singer, dancer, and choreographer, indicated that his career has “picked up gig wise” as a result of his exposure on the show, and he is optimistic that things are going to continue to change. “I do want to create more of my own content and have that control and control over the message.” •

Former gymnast and singer turned Broadway baby, Joe Komara plays ‘Tyler’ in the Cinemax series ‘The Girl’s Guide to Depravity’

joe komara

stylish. sexy. smart.

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Sal Infantino

FILM Another comic talent, Sal Infantino, has a featured role on the Web series “The 3 Bits,” playing Grant, the handsome but — call him “shortchanged” — roommate to the series’ gay hero, Henry.

Grant’s arc in the show focused on the perils of sex and dating. He tries to coordinate an orgy for Henry in one episode, and had a date with a boy in another. His storylines form the basis for much of the show’s comedy, which stemmed from awkward moments his characters faced. When asked about why gay men find humor in sex, Infantino offered, “It’s still taboo to talk about. I turn to humor or sarcasm when I feel threatened or uncomfortable. I turn to it because it’s easier to break the ice with something funny rather than sad, deep or dark. Comedy is also a good way to get a sex joke in.”

The actor, who grew up performing in home movies and in pageants as a kid before “a nun forced me into a school play,” said that, “Half the fun of performing is making a fool of myself and doing something stupid.” And Infantino is very amusing as the confident roommate who feels insecure about his anatomy.

As for funny sex stories from his own life, the actor shares a tale about being in a bar where “everyone was dressed the same” and he didn’t know he was talking to two different people. “That happened to me once. I had a little too much to drink, and I brought this guy over to intro him to my friends. I didn’t remember his name, so I tried to intro him and there were two people there. And they both followed me out of the bar.”

While he does not necessarily share all of Grant’s characteristics, the actor aligns with what he calls Grant’s “lackadaisical approach to life.” He insisted, “I can get work done if I have it, but I will not seek it out. I get that vibe from Grant. He’s happy enough and would rather just enjoy life.”

As such, Infantino is content to be working on “The 3 Bits,” a series that was offered to him unexpectedly. “I’d actually decided to take a break [from acting], but this fell into my lap. I was waiting tables at a wedding and Max and Margaret, the writers/producers said, ‘We’re doing a Web series, and think you’d be good for it. Here’s our card, email us.’”

His work has attracted fans, and has helped him put together a reel to continue to pursue an acting career — if he chooses. Which suits Infantino just fine. •

Sal Infantino plays the handsome, but ‘shortchanged’ roommate ‘Grant’ in the Web series ‘The 3 Bits,’ which is available online at www.the3bits.com

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stylish. sexy.

Andrew Glaszek plays a gym trainer and budding porn star ‘Jay’ on the Web series ‘Hustling’ which can be watched online at www.hustling.tv

smart.

and while openly gay, has not been pigeonholed in only gay roles. Glaszek has often played “the straight dude” on stage. He sees his craft as less “method acting” and more “instinctual.”

“You have to think about what is affecting the person [you’re playing]. You have to be in the moment and understand what situation you are in is and act accordingly. Jay is a character who goes along with what he’s given—to contrast Ryan.”

But despite Jay’s hot gym body, his penchant for drugs, sex and porn, Glaszek does not see the character as a gay stereotype. “I think that no one is exactly what you assume or perceived them to be. Someone can be beautiful and not see himself as beautiful. A junkie thinks he is controlling his addiction.

As an actor, you can’t play the judgment or analysis of the character, only the character in that moment: Find the love and goodness in a villain, otherwise he’s one note and boring.”

He adds that even the titles of his projects, “Hustling” and “Leather” have connotations that may be misleading for some viewers. For example, “Leather” is about the brown, shoe leather, not the black S&M variety. This lovely film is a romantic drama, set in the country. It is not sleazy, nor is it “Interior. Leather Bar.” For Glaszek, these projects are opening doors for him, and he hopes they continue to do so. He is currently developing on an all-male version of “Dangerous Liaisons” that is likely to be made into a film.

With luck it will propel him to greater exposure. •

Andrew Glaszek

Out actor Andrew Glaszek appears on the Web series “Hustling” which just completed its third and final season earlier this year. He plays Jay, a gym trainer and budding porn star whose friendship with Ryan (writer/director/ star Sebastian La Cause) is tested. In a Skype session, Glaszek explained that the character of Jay was created with him in mind. But the actor, who has not been a trainer since 2004 (although he works at a gym), said he “wanted to keep my personal life separate.” What he relates to is playing a character that has a day job but aspires to do something else.

“Hustling,” as well as a starring role in the independent queer film “Leather” (now out on DVD), have provided Glaszek with such a creative outlet. He describes himself as a character actor,

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MUSIC

Triple threat; actor, singer, dancer

A

star is not always made out in Hollywood… Sometimes they are just born. This is the case with Matt Zarley, who Billboard Magazine stated, “Stunning. A marquee mainstream artist is born.”

His career began at a young age, long before he ever imagined being the first gay man to be chosen by People Magazine to be one of their “Top 50 Bachelors” in 2002. It was “an unbelievable honor. It was a very cool moment for me. That was a special time,” Zarley said.

He’s a triple threat. He’s handsome, a talented singer and a dancer. He started dancing around eleven years old and was dedicated from day one.

“I was IN LOVE with it. I was also obsessed with music,” Zarley said.

Around twelve years old, he began doing national television commercials, which brought him to Broadway. At seventeen, Zarley got his debut playing a cat in Broadway’s long-running hit “Cats” and the title role in “The Who’s ‘Tommy.’”

Shortly after, he played the lead in “Josef and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” He has sung with such notable singers as Whitney Houston, Vanessa Williams, Usher and Brandy.

In 2002, Zarley released his debut solo album. His second album “Here I Am” was named one of Billboard Magazine‘s “Critics Top 10” for 2008. The accolades have just been coming his way ever since.

With four consecutive Billboard singles, two UK chart hits, and a number one on the Eurochart, his music is certainly making waves. The Advocate said his music is “a sexy collection of swoon-worthy songs,” and Instinct Magazine called it “…our idea of perfect.”

In 2012, Zarley was awarded two RightOUT TV Awards and two OUT Music Awards.

His album “Change Begins With Me” won Album of the Year, as well as “Single of the Year.”

The Huffington Post says his music is “definitely worth listening to!” The Washington Blade agrees that he is “inspirational!”

Zarley feels that learning from past mistakes is important in moving ahead in this world. He has a personal connection to his song “Change Begins With Me.” “After a break-up I experienced several years ago, I found myself really taking a look at myself.

In that moment, I realized how common it would be to play the blame game or point the finger at someone else,” Zarley said. “I recognized my contributions to the situation and said to myself: ‘I don’t like that about me… so change it.’ Thus the song was born.”

Zarley’s music and videos combine the great sounds of pop music with the flare of Broadway and add enough of just the right mix of sex appeal and humor to make it exciting and entertaining.

His new single “Somebody 4 Everybody” has just hit YouTube and is being played in the bars across the country. It will be on his new album, which is expected to be released this summer titled, “Hopeful Romantic.” Is he a hopeful romantic? “100 percent yes,” he said.

“When I love, I love big. When I get my heart broken, it cuts deep. I’ve had my heart broken many times; yet I still have a sense of hope that ‘the one’ is still out there for me.”

With all of these awards and accolades coming his way and all of his fans swooning over his good looks and his sexy dance moves, you might ask him; does he think he has finally made it? “Umm, no,” he said as he laughed. “I have so much that I wanna do. I’m working on a big project at the moment that could be a possible game changer for me. I wanna keep evolving creatively. This next project is very different for me… yet I feel like everything that I’ve done up till now has prepared me for it.”

Well one thing is for sure, Matt Zarley is one of the talented gay musicians to watch over the coming years. His talent is boundless and he will continue to bring his music to the masses, as gay music becomes more mainstream.

To read the full interview, visit HIM-Magazine.com and search for Matt Zarley or read the February 2014 “Romance” issue in the Archives. •

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By Dave Griffiths

SPRING 2014 •

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MUSIC

R

alph Solo is an out British musician whose work comes from a very personal place. His new single, “Glass of Wine,” from his recent album “Am I Too Much?” address his coming to terms with being gay and finding true love. While his single has an upbeat tempo, Solo shows his considerable range on his new album. He chatted with The Mirror about being gay and making music.

What inspired you to be a singer, your coming out, and your single, “Glass of Wine”?

I’ve been singing since 7 or 8. As an artist, I try to be true to who I am. Coming out happened by default. My personal life took some turns, and I got freaked out and questioned: ‘Am I gay or straight?’ I did some reparative therapy and I journaled about it, and turned that into a book, “The Memoirs of Angel King.” Following the book, I went back in to the studio and recorded “Glass of Wine.” It was a song about when you see someone for the first time and you think “Are you the love of my life?” and it clicks. For the video — and I see myself as an audio/video artist—I wanted to something that represented my life. I’m not in love now, but making the song gives me hope.

Do you feel being an openly gay musician is easy/difficult?

It was restricting before I came out. You are more conscious about what you express. I don’t think it’s made things harder or easier. I do what I do, and whatever happens, happens. I still have to create my own opportunities, but on the flip side, when people listen to my music, they get a sense of authenticity. If I wasn’t [real], they would pick up on it.

Why did you produce a whole album, when so much of the music business focuses on singles these days?

I have nine brand new songs on “Am I Too Much.” “Glass of Wine” is one of them. I supposed it’s easier to do singles because people’s attention spans are smaller. You can record a track and that’s it. But I wanted to do an album that was a concept and theme. It was post reparative therapy and takes a musical snapshot of my life as a single man in the 21st century. All the songs are autobiographical. I don’t say I want to write a song about this… but things happen to me and they turn into songs, and they get into an album. I did nine because I wanted it to be concise and I wanted to have every song stand alone as a single.

You mentioned your reparative therapy. Can you talk about that?

After my fifth relationship in seven years didn’t work out, I thought: ‘Why is this not working out?

Am I meant to be straight?’ When you break up you are sensitive. So I looked online at reparative therapy, and I tried it, and six, seven months later, I realized I wasn’t going to reorient my sexuality. I embraced that. I was damaged after for a bit, but I’m OK now. I was in denial in my 20s and I thought maybe this is not what I want. I was celibate for a few years. It wasn’t a negative experience. I look at myself more kindly now. It’s your actions that

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define who you are. I wanted to change because a part of me felt it wasn’t right to being gay. It’s part of who you are as a person. I’m happy for the lesson.

I don’t care to be a role model, but I want to give people something positive.

How do you find the right music/beat for your words/messages? Do you write (lyrics) first then find the beat, or syncopate the words to the track?

For me the first thing is the melody and the hook. Something happens to me and I get inspired.

The lyric and melody happen all at once. Once I have a chorus, it transpires to a verse after it. Then I sit and write the chords to the melody, then I have a clear idea on how to produce it — this kind of beat, (128 beats per minute) but it could be a ballad if you strip the beat behind.

Why do you choose the dance music genre?

For me, I describe my music as pop music.

I chose up-tempo, because I’m an upbeat kind of guy. I like the groove. “Am I Too Much?” has ballads and mid-tempo and up-tempo songs. I had a dance remix version of “Glass of Wine.” If I release a single, I do a remix. Tempo depends on the song. “Glass of Wine” lends itself to being a little intoxicating, but a beat will drum the message into it. But I’m trying not to fit into that cliché [of gay men/ dance music] but artist remixes get club play, which is easier for less established artists to break out. But YouTube now is more audiovisual. I have my song, my story, and go through YouTube and other channels.

How much of your look is coordinated to creating your image as a singer?

You have a very sexy physique.

My shirtless appearance is not a conscious choice. If I shoot a video on the beach it’s natural to be in swimwear. It’s an act of self-love to take pride in one’s appearance. I’m myself, and how that comes across, I don’t think about it, but I am aware that it can sometimes be perceived in a certain way. I try to portray confidence. I feel I’ve earned that because I’ve had to fight for that.

I would like to inspire people. That comes from being open about who you are. I talk about open relationships and infidelity and what I’m trying to say with the album is that it’s OK to stand up for yourself, and is something is not good enough you need to say “No,” and when you do that, you love yourself and that’s a good thing. If you can’t, you can’t love anyone else. That’s the difference between being self-centered and conceited. Going to the gym makes me feel good, and it’s healthy lifestyle.

There is a stereotype that if you take your shirt off and go to gym, you’re a floozy. It doesn’t mean you are void of morals and principles. You have pride in your appearance. You don’t apply that [stereotype] to straight people.

Your song is called “Glass of Wine.” What kind of wine do you like?

Rosé. I’m not too fussy. I can be a cheap date.

2 ½-3 glasses is my limit. •

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