The OUTsiders Ally PRIDE Issue

TheOUTsidersAlly PrideGuide2016

Wel come t o Indy PRIDE 2016

Photo By: Brian Hedger

Print Issue1- June2016

THEOUTSIDERSALLY

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YOUR MONTHLY ALLY CHRISPEEK,PUBLISHER Hel l o? Yes, t his is me your Al l y and f or t he f irst t ime ever you are hol ding me in your hands. For t he f irst t ime ever in t his communit y we have a newspaper cal l ed The OUTsiders Al l y. My name is Chris Peek and I am t he man behind t his new LGBT l if est yl e rag, and yes by now you may know t hat I am just some young guy in his t went y?s. Wit h hopes, dreams, and want s f or t his communit y t o come cl oser t oget her. I want t o educat e t wo generat ions on t he devel opment s of LGBT Trends and t o devel op a more monogamous LGBT l if est yl e. If you didn?t know yet our communit y can now get married, yet how many young LGBT coupl es do you see get t ing married? How l ong is it t il l we st art t o see younger generat ions act ual t ie t he knot ?

In t his edit ion of The OUTsiders Al l y you wil l see just a brief sampl e of what is t o come f rom your Al l y. Wit h our f ocus t o cont inue t o f ind ways t o bring t his communit y cl oser and part ner wit h t he right organizat ions, and bring t he yout h of our communit y int o t he grand scheme of t hings. This Publ icat ion is about giving a voice t o t hose who don?t have a voice. If you l ook around many of our art icl es are writ t en by Women, somet hing you don?t see in very of t en in publ icat ions t hese days, l et al one a LGBT publ icat ion. It is our dut y t o provide a pl at f orm t o t hose in t his communit y so t hat EVERYONE has a voice, and EVERYONE is heard.

For our f irst issue we choose t o go wit h 24 pages. As we cont inue t o expand we wil l cont inue t o grow t he l ook, f eel , and cont ent in our publ icat ion. It is up t o you t he reader t o reach out t o me and l et me know what you woul d l ike t o see in your new Lif est yl e Guide.

As many of you are f l ipping t he pages t o your new l if est yl e guide. You are in Indianapol is enjoying anot her successf ul PRIDE week. I hope t hat t he cit y of Indianapol is has opened t heir arms and have provided you wit h t he best hospit al it y.

It ?s somet hing our cit y t akes great pride in.

During your visit I hope you get a chance t o visit Mass Ave, and have a drink at Met ro, Tini, Ivy?s, and many more LGBT owned est abl ishment s t hroughout t he cit y. Coming up in Jul y we wil l be host ing ?OUT in t he Al l ey?. This event wil l al l ow you t o meet me and your ot her Al l ies . As I come t o a cl ose I hope you enjoy t he cont ent in f ront of you, and remember Keep Cal m and Al l y On!

Chris Peek Owner/ Publ isher

LIFESTYLE

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Lindsey is Al ways "Writ e":

By: Lindsey Taylor

Let 's f ace it , t wo women t oget her t here wil l be argument s. There wil l be heat ed discussions. There wil l be t imes t hat emot ions wil l be running high and t here's just no st opping t he pending argument . If you have kids somet imes t hose argument s wil l happen in f ront or around t hem. It 's inevit abl e.

never be t oo proud t o apol ogize. If you are wrong you are wrong, period.

I bel ieve how you handl e t he issues are t he best way t o show your kids t hat argument s do happen, but it 's how you deal wit h t hem af t erward t hat makes or breaks t hings. I al ways t ry and t el l my daught er t hat peopl e disagree somet imes and t hat 's okay. I t el l her t hat somet imes peopl e get angry and t hat 's okay t oo. If you say somet hing you don't mean out of anger, af t er you cool of f ,

I want my kids t o know t hat rel at ionships and marriages are hard work, but work t hat is necessary f or bot h part ies. They wil l know t hat argument s wil l happen, but it 's how you deal wit h t hem during and af t er t hat hel ps you move on. Most of t he argument s my wif e and I have are pet t y, but being t wo st ubborn WOMEN it 's easy t o get l ost in t he emot ion of who's right or who's wrong (it 's usual l y me). I wil l al so t el l t hem t hat somet imes t hey wil l not be f orgiven, but you can onl y t ry. Try not t o beat yoursel f up over arguing in f ront of your kids, it 's just a part of l if e. Just t ry not t o have a knock-down-drag-out f ight in t he middl e of a Wal -Mart and you're good.

Apol ogizing, no mat t er how many t imes, is just t hat ...an apol ogy. It shows t he ot her person t hat you know you screwed up and are wil l ing t o t ake responsibil it y f or your act ions. It shows t hat you paid at t ent ion and t hat you real ized t hat you may have crossed l ines. It shows your abil it y t o t ry and move f orward in t hat moment rat her t han dwel l on t he disagreement at hand.

Straight fromtheSource:

By: Lindsey Taylor

Having animal s can be t ough, not onl y is t here t ot al care t hat is needed t o be given, but t hey can get st inky. At t imes it seems t hat t hey are l it t l e dirt bags who just smel l bad, but we l ove t hem any way. Some of us even go as f ar as t o just deal wit h a smel l y dog or animal .

Not Fait h!

She goes t o ext remes al most dail y t o keep her house smel l ing f resh and dog-f ree even t hough she has about 200l bs of dog in her house (bet ween t he t wo she has). Basical l y, if you wal k in her house and her dogs don't accost you, you probabl y woul dn't know she had any, not by smel l anyway.

Her secret , BLEACH! She bl eaches everyt hing.

And she uses t he Downy Unst oppabl es in her

Scent sy burner. She says t hat t he Downy t hings gives of f a st ronger scent t han t he waxes. Recent l y she f ound a recipe t o make her own Febreeze and she says it 's amazing.

First she mixed t he mixt ure up using t hree cups of hot wat er, ½ cup of baking soda, and one l id of t he Unst oppabl es (or what ever you pref er), she l et s t he mixt ure mel t t oget her t hen adds it t o an ol d Febreeze bot t l e t hat hol ds about t hree cups of wat er so al l t he mix shoul d f it .

She said t he scent st ays f or a l ong t ime, t here's no greasy spot s and it doesn't make anyt hing greasy and it 's awesome. Oh yeah, and it 's inexpensive t o make. For someone who t ries t o keep her bat hing of t he dogs t o a minimum, her house al ways smel l s good. Her dogs, wel l t hat 's anot her st ory.

ENTERTAINMENT

LOVE,COMMUNITY,AND ROCKNROLL: By: Wal t er T. Beck Sometimes you find what you?ve been looking for in the strangest places. On May 21 st , I got in the car with my romantic partner in crime Millie, and our friends Margot and Rab to head to Springfield, Illinois for the 2016 Springfield Pridefest. We were going to see the legendary queercore band Pansy Division, a band I had waited nearly ten years to see live. We were excited; the line-up was packed with queer rock n roll bands, it was everybody else?s first rock n roll festival and my first since Ozzfest 2007. We loaded up the car with road food and cranked Joan Jett on the stereo and headed west.

But what was I really expecting? I told Millie the night before when we were making a Wal-Mart run for road food that in a strange way I thought this may have been our Woodstock, there aren?t many queer rock n roll bands around, at least in the mainstream mind, and to see a whole afternoon and evening of them should have been nothing short of a spiritual experience for a car full of out front queer freaks.

We got to the place right around 1:00 PM local time. At least we thought it was the right place, there looked to be a festival atmosphere ahead, so what else could it be? We shouldered the bags and walked towards the action. As soon as we hit the festival grounds, we began to think we were in the wrong place; the booths looked to be selling mainly paintings, sculptures and other art pieces and the people didn?t seem right, they seemed too middle class and conservatively dressed, not a freak amongst them. Where the hell were we?

We spotted this young dude who looked like a walking rainbow and figured he would know the score. He did; we had walked into the community art fair by mistake, the Pridefest was just a couple blocks down. As soon as we walked down the street, we were in the right place; there were folks ambling around in rainbow attire, some wrapped in their Colors. We walked through the gates and into the festivities.

I heard the thunder from the big stage; the first band was already up, some hard sounding punk outfit called SAP. I

PAGE6 didn?t hear much, the rest of the guys wanted to check out the festival before we settled into the rock n roll. So we turned back towards the booths and started checking out what the community of Springfield had put together.

The scale of it struck me; I was used to Indianapolis?s Pride festival, a massive, sprawling undertaking with vendors hawking any number of wares and goods, huge corporate logos spread every which way but loose. Here it was different, the corporate hawking was barely seen, the vendors were local and everybody seemed to know everybody else.

Jesus! Was this it? I had spent years as a journalist and activist railing against commercial corporate Pride, urging our brothers and sisters to flat out reject the capitalist feces that had been dropped on our parties and here it seemed to be; a community, a family, brothers and sisters again.

I did have to be restrained from going on one of my activist tirades; of course the Human Rights Campaign had a booth there and my views on them are well known, I consider them nothing but champagne swilling corporate shills, fast talkers who have no problem throwing our trans brothers and sisters under the bus if it will get them the votes they want. And naturally they were shilling for Hillary Clinton; one of their shirts hanging from the tent was a mash up of Hillary?s arrow logo and the HRC?s ?equality? logo, the ultimate middle finger of respectability corporate politics. I was tempted to rip it down on general principles, but Millie gently tugged on my arm and reminded me we were there to have fun and not start revolution.

After just digging the atmosphere, we walked back to the stage area, found a nice table, and started checking out the acts. The first band we really caught was a local group called Our Lady.

What caught our eye was the presence of an electric cello player amongst the line-up, that?s not a typical instrument in rock n roll. But Christ, they were good! They had this unique wall of sound that combined the heaviness of a good Southern sludge band like Down or Crowbar with an undertone of alt country legends Uncle Tupelo. I had never heard anything quite like it. If this is what the day had in store music wise, I was gonna be pretty happy.

After they finished their set, I went over to the merch table to see if they had a demo tape for sale. They didn?t, but they did have a couple records for sale and the singer of the band talked me out of fifteen dollars for an LP and a split 7-inch. The next act up, Thornhill, wasn?t as great. Hell to tell the truth, they sounded like a middle-age bar band taking gigs on the weekend to keep the customers distracted. Instead of listening to them, I turned to the others and said something about the sense of community I felt earlier at the event. They agreed; here we were outsiders

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different arrangement of their hardcore speed number ?Political Asshole?, slowing it down to sound like the mean middle finger it was written as. One of the best surprises of the show was the performance of ?Negative Queen? from their album Deflowered; while the original was written with a mid-tempo rock beat behind it, the band performed the stripped down a cappella version, with only Jon and Chris?s voices carrying the song and Luis?s rhythmic wood block. About halfway through the song, Millie chuckled and told me the song reminded her of an old friend.

During the last third of the set, Chris Freeman went off stage and came back in a black spangly dress. I turned to Millie and said, ?Damn it, he looks better in a dress than I do!? She said ?Well I don?t about that, honey, but we should get you a dress like that.?

Then she added, half-joking, ?You should see if he?ll sell that dress to you.? Pansy?s final performance was a slaying version of ?I?m Gonna Be a Slut? from their Queer to the Core EP; Jon and the boys gave it everything they had, working that crowd into a near spiritual frenzy. It was punctuated by Chris ripping a paperback King James Bible in half and throwing the pieces into the crowd. It was a baptism of rock n roll, daring to be proud, out, and LOUD! The band thanked the crowd and began packing up their instruments. Margot came up and walked over to the merch table with me to see if they had a t-shirt for sale and if I could get an autograph. Soon Jon Ginoli appeared with a case of CDs, books, and t-shirts. Margot got me one of the shirts as a belated birthday gift and I went up to Jon and asked if he remembered me. A few years ago, he had sent me an autographed copy of Deflowered and had written on the back of the jacket ?Walter, keep rocking the tight gold lamĂŠ shorts!? (he had seen some photos of me performing at a Rocky show in my gold shorts) He remembered and said he thought he recognized me. I reached into my bag and pulled out my gold lamĂŠ shorts for him to sign. He autographed the ass of my shorts and took a picture.

Margot went back to the table to begin packing up the stuff while Millie and I went over to the band tent to see if I could meet the other members of Pansy Division. Sure enough, Joel, Chris, and Luis ambled over to talk to the fans and sign a few things. I had them sign the show poster I had gotten at the merch table and when Chris came up I asked him if I could buy his dress. He gave me a bit of a funny look and said ?Let me think about it. I still need to get changed out of it and the tent?s full of drag queens.? Luis remembered me from when we had him on the Rainbow Asylum radio show, I thanked him for the old tour shirt he had sent me the year before. Chris came out of the tent in his street clothes, holding the sweaty dress he had just worn on stage, he handed it to me and said ?Here you go, Walter, it was great to finally meet you.? Millie and I both hugged him in thanks and then went over to the table to get Margot & Rab and get on the road. It had been one hell of a day.

On the road home, all of us tired and sore, the music of the Doors drifting out of the stereo, Jim Morrison crooning ?Girl, you gotta love your man/ Take him by the hand/ Make him understand/ The world on you depends/ Our life will never end?, all I had on my mind was getting to the hotel, having a smoke and passing out. Millie looked at me and said, ?Can I ask you something, honey?? I nodded. She said, ?I know we can?t do it legally because of reasons, but will you be my spouse?? It took me a minute to register it, then I cried and said yes I would be her spouse in the eyes of our gods and friends, even though not in the eyes of the government. As I wept with happiness, the car headed towards our hotel in Marshall, Illinois.

About t he Aut hor: Walter Beck (alias Cher Guevara/ Raine) is a queer poet, journalist, performance artist, activist, drag anarchist, and revolutionary from Avon, IN. You can find them on picket lines, in coffee houses, drag bars, and anywhere freaks congregate. Their written work has appeared in numerous publications all across the country and even internationally, they have several chapbooks of poetry available through Writing Knights Press, and you can catch them performing with Transylvanian Lip Treatment.

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POLITICS

TheNew LGBTLife: Happy,But PissedOff

PAGE10 Not e: This col umn cont ains t he use of st rong l anguage.

About t he Aut hor: Mary Anglin-Coulter works as a fulltime freelance writer, blogger, and graphic designer. She lives in Bardstown, Kentucky, with her wife and their three girls, lovingly referring to their home as the Estrogen House. She is a graduate of Bellarmine University where she majored in English and Communication and was founder and president of the campus gay/ straight alliance. She has been active with PFLAG, performed public speeches on marriage equality, is a member of the Bardstown fairness ordinance committee, and participated in the Louisville Pride Parade.

She may be reached at mary@anglincoulter.com or via her blog at anglincoulter.com.

By: Mary Angl in-Coul t er

I am a lesbian. On June 26, 2015, I became a happy lesbian, thanks to the SCOTUS ruling granting marriage rights for lesbians like me.

I was pissed at America before I was able to marry my longtime love. Now that America has gotten its shit together allowing me to marry her, which made me happier than Donald Trump with a fresh Trump Tower Grill taco bowl, I remain pissed off. That?s how wave after wave of anti-LGBT legislation that followed winning the right to marry makes me feel.

And I am not the only one.

My newsfeeds stay clogged with news articles, statuses, tweets, protest pictures, and rants by fellow LGBT Americans and their family and allies who are still pissed off even though the past year has brought epic, history-making, long-awaited rights to the gay community; and even as they attend weddings of their LGBT family and friends. Three of my lesbian friends and two of my gay friends have married in the last year, and I have four more weddings on the horizon. Each matrimony has filled me with joy, but the planning of each ultimately turned to discussions of which local baker, florist, caterer, and venue in town are ?gay-friendly.? The texts are flying around in our circle. None of us wanted to be hurt. None of us wanted to have a negative experience taint our wedding day, a moment we?ve all waited so long to celebrate and fought for with our voting, protests, and words.

It?s not hard to see why we are still upset. My own extremely Christian conservative, right-wing, Ted Cruz-loving family member commented to me recently, ?It?s not enough to gain the [marriage] rights, but everyone else must not only love you through it, but also accept it as normative??

Um, no. Marriage rights are not enough. And yes, I should be accepted as normative, because I am ?normal? within the realm of what it means to be human, and dammit I expect to be treated as such. Americans need to stop regarding me like a pariah.

So instead of living out the rest of my days not worrying about gay rights, married and happy, I get to hear Republican presidential hopefuls vow to somehow overturn our marriage rights, and peel back the progress we?ve made. Hate speech pisses me off.

I want to be able to travel around the nation with my wife without wondering which business can refuse service to us, because we

SAUNTERING About t he Aut hor: Mat Robedee is a "late 20-something" outdoor and adventure writer based in Portland, Maine. Mat has attended Colorado Mountain College and the University of Maine-Orono with studies in Environmental Management. He is an outdoor recreation and sports fanatic, and every weekend finds him on his bicycle, motorcycle, in his kayak or wearing his hiking boots headed outside, often regardless of the weather and accompanied by his partner "The" Ian Rodgers. Mat's major claims to fame include a Winter hike up 6,288 foot tall Mount Washington in New Hampshire (where the icicles were horizontal due to the mountain's legendary winds) and a July journey to climb all of the mountains in the Presidential Range in 24 hours, with the night hike by the light of the full moon. When he's "stuck" in his office, Mat is in charge of HIV/ AIDS testing as a Health Specialist at Frannie Peabody Center, Portland's equivalent to The Damien Center.)

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ALOVELETTERTOROCKETLEAGUE By: Randy Dankievit ch Back in the dusty yesteryear of 2008, scrappy indie developer Psyonix (whose team members worked on games like Unreal Tournament 3 and Gears of War) self-published their first title, a little game called Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle Cars on the Playstation 3. Dubbed the first ?physics-based, battle-car soccer game?, SARPBC was a genius nugget of an idea ? but despite selling over 2 million copies on Playstation Network, never quite caught on because of its own technical limitations, not to mention what little content the game actually had to offer.

So nobody thought much of it when Psyonix announced in February of 2013, they were beginning development on a sequel to SARPBC, a game that would eventually be titled Rocket League. After a closed alpha test on the PC in early 2014, Psyonix then announced Rocket League would launch on the Playstation 4 and PC as the first truly cross-platform multiplayer game. Still, it didn?t seem like people were all that excited to punch around an over-sized soccer ball around with cars powered by turbo rockets; to suggest Rocket League would launch to a niche audience seemed obvious ? even after Sony announced in early 2015 they had reached a deal with the developer to release Rocket League for free as part of their monthly ?Instant Game Collection? offer to Playstation Plus subscribers. On July 1 st , 2015, Rocket League hit the Playstation Store and Steam, and my daily dose of video games changed forever.

Opening Rocket League for the first time last summer was more out of curiosity than excitement: how does one make a soccer game with cars not feel completely ludicrous and random (as many people complained about with the game?s predecessor?). A few short tutorials and couple exhibition bots against matches, and it was already apparent Psyonix had stumbled onto something: with some seriously responsive controls and low skill barrier for entry, it wasn?t long before I felt empowered by Rocket League?s tools, a combination of easy-to- understand controls and car physics that translated wonderfully to the ?beautiful game?.

The concept is unabashedly simplistic ? at least on the surface ? to grasp: players control one of a dozen-plus different customizable cars, battling them in arenas in matches from 1v1 up to 4v4, in either casual or competitive ranked matches. The best way to describe Rocket League is a mix of indoor soccer and Twisted Metal without the weapons: players have the ability to double jump their vehicles, utilizing the rockets on the back of their cars to turbo boost up walls, through the air, and into other players to temporarily immobilize them, a game as strategic as it is chaotic, and as beautiful as it is accessible.

It?s no surprise Rocket League would go on to be downloaded over 5 million times, with an average of about 120,000 people playing at any given time. In a time of the year normally dedicated to not playing video games, millions of players (like myself) found themselves entranced by the game?s floaty physics, team-based gameplay, and sense of strategic death; the most satisfying feeling I had playing a video game in years was scoring my first goal off a successful front flip at top speed, my blue car with bright green racing stripes careening into the goal at over 60mph to score in sudden-death overtime against an opponent.

Even those who dismissed Rocket League as a goofy sports game couldn?t help but become addicted; I could name a dozen friends who have absolutely no interest in sports, who would drop a crying baby if they heard a session of Rocket League was about to go down. Rocket League speaks not just to the sports lover, but the game lover: it offers a sense of progression with an experience system that is constantly unlocking new cars and accessories (like a shark fin hat, or a Fallout 4 antenna topper), and it never, ever tries to pander itself to either the ?casual?or ?hardcore?gamer: in the latter sense, Rocket League is a lot like a jet-fueled version of chess (with wall-jumping, backwards movement, and huge explosions, of course).

Chess can be played by anyone with a simple grasp of the game?s basic rule set: but it takes hundreds of matches to truly master the mechanics of Rocket League, the rare multiplayer game that engages players young and old, skilled or not, with a true sense of personal progression, not just a bunch of numbers on screen getting bigger after each game. The first time someone completes an

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THEMEETCUTE

By: Brandon O.Ryan

James Masbath is one of my nearest and dearest friends and it was as a favor to me that he agreed to be the subject of my inaugural interview for Gay Sex in the Midwest (GSMW). I?ve known him for seven years. We met at college. We lived on the same floor, ate in the same dining hall, and shared the same group of friends. This handsome, metaphysical lovechild of actors Ryan Reynolds and Burn Notice?s Jeffrey Donovan obtained his Bachelor of Arts in just two and a half years and he now works as a graphic designer for an Indianapolis-based corporation.

He also has a sterling sense of humor. It?s Saturday, March 1st, 2014 and I, like millions of Americans, am suffering from flu-like symptoms. In my NyQuil-induced haze (my fever running high and my covers pulled up to my chin), I decide that now is as good a time as any to conduct an interview. So, for just $9.99, I download Call Recorder, a mobile app on the iTunes App Store. I call James that night, he agrees to an interview, and he answers my questions with the same pragmatic wit and charm I?ve come to love. Only it doesn?t work. I forget to merge my phone call with the one being recorded and so a 45-minute conversation goes to waste.

James is a good sport about it though and he agrees to call me back later in the week for, not one, but three installments in what I will later dub, ?The Meet-Cute Interview.? By Tuesday, March 4th, I?m nearing a full-blown recovery. My fever has broken, the phlegm is mostly coughed up, and my hair no longer sticks to my forehead like the bristles of a paintbrush in a pool of linseed oil.

It?s at 6:16 pm, that my cell phone rings and James makes good on his promise. This time everything goes as planned, and even in my euphoric, convalescent state, don?t think that I?m one to shy away from the real hard-hitting questions.

Brandon Ryan: What is your favorite color?

James Masbat h: White, and that?s not a racist remark. I just like white.

BR: I was going to go in a sexual direction.

JM: No, I mean my favorite color sexually would be black.

BR: Why is white your favorite color?

JM: I couldn?t tell you. I?m kind of a clean freak so that?s probably why, honestly. It?s just clean. The color of cleanliness, I guess. I?ll never forget, in kindergarten, we had to present posters about ourselves. I said that my favorite color was white and my kindergarten teacher said that white could not be my favorite color because it?s not a color. She called the art teacher down to tell me that white could not be my favorite color because it?s the absence of all colors. I was five, traumatized, and I think I?ve just held on that white is my favorite color whether it actually is or not, to prove them wrong.

BR: They were wrong. White is the presence of all colors.

JM: Oh, see? I?m sure my art teacher knew that and said it correctly. Or maybe not.

BR: What do you do for a living?

JM: I am a graphic designer. So I make things look pretty. I work in the marketing department at my company. I do a lot of designing advertisements, brochures, and other marketing materials. I just made it sound way more boring than it actually is. It?s actually quite fun and a challenge every day.

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SOPHIE'S CHASING ""TAILS""

By: Sophie Peek

Hello everyone and welcome to the first OUTsiders Ally and my first column. In case you have not yet figured it out, my name's Sophie and I'm the office dog (not to mention Publisher Chris's cuddle buddy). You might recall my good friends, Britain & Sydney, the old Gossip Cats who continued their writing with their owner in the lovely beachfront in Maine. They send their greetings, but you can be sure, my monthly column is all my doing, so read along with me and let's see what I found on my regular walks along the Cultural Trail and thru downtown... First off, I notice a lot of the apartment building swimming pools are open for the season and that's great, so I better issue a warning (especially to one Indy club's bartender) that you are supposed to observe the hours for the pool where you live and swimming attire is NOT optional. We hear this boy got his butt (and other parts) in hot water last Summer about 3 or 4 a.m. when he went swimming with friends in a "closed" pool and was caught shall we say bare ass even his Speedo. It's true he's a total hottie, but rules are rules!... Next up, we hear some folks just cannot get enough of the old gossip cats and that includes Club Indy's boss Aaron. How do we know? Easy! Britain & Sydney sent a text to tell us that Aaron had spent a week in Maine visiting.

We hear he loved everything they showed him aside, possibly, from whole belly fried clams (slimy things those) he sampled, but they made it up to him by two visits to Gelato Fiasco for that cake batter gelato he fell in love with, just as I hear he has Maine. Indy folks who wanna try Gelato Fiasco's treats can find some of the flavors at Kroger's, Whole Foods and Fresh Market on 54th & College... Speaking of trying, this pup is still trying to figure out why someone would rent a Speedway apartment and then repaint the kitchen blood red, have some tile work done and walk away from their lease, leaving the hapless landlord to pay for these "improvements".

The funniest part is when the landlady asked who in the hell

would paint a kitchen blood red she was told in a condescending manner: "You should know that's the color meat is so it makes folks hungry!" I would personally prefer Milk Bone, or that one that dogs can't believe is not bacon, but in any case I would never leave a landlord with a mess and a bill as this slug did!... Speaking of slugs, he's gonna have to slug the meter a few extra times to get money for his big move, but congrats to Foxy, a.k.a. Thomas, who this pup hears got a big promotion and with it a move to Knoxville. I hear Knoxville is a grand city with mountains (you know what we do not have here in Indiana) and they are the very same ones where Thomas grew up over on the Kentucky side. All this dog (and his owner) can say is we wish him all the best and Tennessee's gain is Indiana's loss!...speaking of losses much sympathy to the family and friends of Phyllis Hutton who was a good friend of the gay community and did a lot of behind-the-scenes work on pride back in the day. Mrs. Phyllis died suddenly on May 22nd and will be missed by all her old friends...And finally, I hear that a certain Keekeesha needs a little comforting as he found out recently of a hemroid problem and even some STD's. And with this, my first month, that's all the "bark" I got but stay tune in to next issue because I hear that a lot of folks love to gossip and I will be out with Chris all over town with my ears ready. Woof!

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