FEATURED COUPLES OF ALS Atty.Richie Pilares& Atty. JunPilares

BY RICO CHUNG

Love is found in unlikely places, and this couldn’tbemoretruethaninthecaseofour veryownlawschool.Onewouldthinktwice before associating the idea of law school with the idea of romance, but love truly knowsnoboundsandtheAteneoLawSchool isn’texemptfromthisrule Atty Richieand Atty. Jun Pilares is one such story, meeting in their time as students in Ateneo, and existing as a testament that love can be found in law school and allow those who findittothrive.

Before Atty. Richie became the successful lawyer she is today, she was a law student just like any of us, living the daily grind of law school. While law school is quite a bit smaller than college, it’s not difficult to get lostintheseaoffacesandnames,unlessyou were Atty Jun Pilares at the time Atty RichierecountsthedayswhenAtty.Junwas knownas“TheJun”or“thegod”,anickname forhimgivenhisacademictrackrecord

Of course today, we are well aware of Atty. Jun Pilares’ academic achievement, top-notching the bar and graduating valedictorian of his batch. Naturally Atty. Richie grew curious, ‘stalking’ (intheromanticsense)Atty.Juntofindoutmore about him. She went so far as to ask the admin whichclassesshecouldtakesothatshecouldbe in the same class as him in an elective, and was told to enroll in Natural Resources, which she did. However, she soon found out during class rollcallthatshehadactuallyfollowedthewrong Jun Pilares Regardless, this did nothing to squashherromanticfervor,andshestalkedAtty. JunPilaresonceagain.

While it would seem that Atty. Richie was the first to notice her now husband, Atty Jun had alsonoticedher,astheyhadbothusuallystudied at the library. Perhaps seeking more time with Atty Richie, Atty Jun requested to the office of the dean if he could switch blocks to be in the same block with her so that their schedules wouldsync,hisexcusebeingtraffic. Eventually, they spoke, coming across each other due to mutual friends, Atty. Richie asked Atty. Jun a question she already knew the answer to. Over time they grew closer, talking more and more backinthedaywhenunli-textwasthestandard, andstudyingwithoneanotherinthelibrary.

But here is where their story becomes even more interesting. You would think that dedicating your timetoyourromanticinterestwouldcauseafallin grades, due to spending less time studying. However, this wasn’t the case with the Pilares’, as although he shifted into a block with even more difficult professors and classes, his grades actually rose with the fact that he was able to spend more time with Atty Richie, jumped in the batch standingfromthirdtofirst.Atty.Richiewouldsay thoughthathetrulyhadmoretimetostudyasAtty. Jun’s previous partner was non-law school, and nurturing that relationship truly came at a cost to thetimehecouldspendstudying.

Soon bar season rolled around and Atty. Richie would‘bar-ops’forAtty.Jun,however,workedout for them both. It became a symbiotic relationship, shewouldprintgoodreviewersandaskAtty Junto read them, since he was a faster reader than her, and ask him what was missing in those reviewers, asAtty Jun’sphotographicmemoryallowedhimto remember what was covered by some reviewers versus others. It might come as a surprise, especially given all the stress of reviewing for the bar, but Atty. Jun and Atty. Richie’s relationship flourishedduringthisperiod.

Sincetheywerebatchmates,theywere takingthebaratthesametime,andas such,theywerewakingupatthesame time, studying at the same time, and essentially going through the entire process together. The only difficulty camewasimmediatelybeforethefirst Sunday of the bar and waiting for the results,sincetheywerebothnaturally nervous, it was difficult to alleviate one another's stress. They would recount the stress of bar results, and thereisasayingthatwhentwopeople in a relationship would take the bar together, then one of them would fail, whichclearlywasn'tthecasewiththe attorneys But to cement their relationship with one another, while they took the bar on September 6, 2006, they married one another in a quiet ‘secret’ ceremony on October 6, 2006, and had another official ceremony two years after And of course, here they are today, together, teachingintheveryschoolwherethey met.

Quotablequotes?

“IwouldnotbevaledictorianifnotforAtty. Richie”

“Talktothehand”

Atty. Richie would recount how when Atty. Jun would try to talk to her while she was studying, she would make him “talk to the hand”,aswhenshestudiedshedidn’twant anydistractions

“FindsomeonewhohasthesamevisionOR find someone who supports your vision” Richie

“It’s easier for you to understand one another if you are able to find someone in lawschool.”Jun

“Law school should come first The relationship should come after, as when you ’ re in law school you are building your future, and if you fail, then it’s something that will affect the relationship, as you’ll lookforsomethingorsomeonetoblame.It doesn’tmeandontenterintoarelationship, itjustmeansyouneedtofindsomeonewho will understand that you ’ re investing not onlyinyourselfbutyourfuturefamilyand spouse. If that person can understand what you ’retryingtodo,thenyou’llreallyhavea future together Your goals should always come first when you ’ re in a relationship, and this only really changes when you get married.”

How does both your professions affect your dynamic with one another?

It’s a blessing to be married to Jun because he’s very successful as a lawyer so he’s not insecure, he lets me pursue my career. Here what i appreciate about him, he helps me with the children, he doesn’t have this unreasonable expectation that I will be the one taking care of the family it’s a shared relationship, he doesn’t get insecure with my achievements, he’s my number one supporter, especially as a woman you go through certain stereotypes, he’s the one that reminds me to just give my best, so that’s the blessing.

My philosophy talaga, diba if you love the person, you want that person to be happy?

Si Richie kasi, she’s happy when she’s successful, she’s driven, very driven. So you have to support that, and how do you support that? So you have to share the usual burdens of family life, and you just have to be understanding. I mean if law students kayo, you complain about the time it takes to study, prepare for every class, its preparation for your life as lawyers eh, since its a service profession, and binubuhos mo talaga is your time for your clients. So she has to spend time working, even at home, she works, but you have to be okay with that, lalo na kung pareho kayong lawyers. Both of you have to be okay with that, we trust each other that we know the important things in life I think that’s part of it, but you cannot impose diba. Pinaghirapan mo yung law school ng four and a half years tapos pag magasawa na kayo housewife agad, parang unfair naman diba. Atty.Jun a homemaker. Atty.Richie

I think you should allow one another to do what they love doing and what they do best, dont impose. Of course ou will have that conversation, what’s best for the family, but dont impose, it has to be a compromise. Of course, happy wife happy life. Atty.Jun

I’m not the type of wife to complain that he’s not making time for the family because I understand. For example what’s nice about our schedule is that if we are both busy, we can figure out which work duties we can beg off from to be there for our kids when the other isn’t available, laging negotiation. Atty.Richie

For example our kids have a presentation, one of us will always be there. You just have to understand, and put yourself in the place of your spouse. Atty.Jun marriage, it’s not about what he can give me, it’s about what I can give him. It’s never you ’ re not helping me enough, it’s how can I be of help to him. Until now, after 16 years, nahihiya pa rin kami sa isa’t-isa, i don’t like spending his money, he doesn’t like me spending so much time on something for him. I think relationships will last when you stop thinking about what you can get from the other person, but more of what can you contribute to the other person. Kindness begets kindness, love begets love, i think that’s how our relationship works talaga. Especially kapag lawyers diba, negotiation, you give some, you get some. Atty.Richie

How Atty. Richie thinks you should prioritizeyourlife

Hierarchy

God-your family- your studies- your other relationships

Marriage

God-marriage-kids-work