The Strand | Vol. 62, Issue 9

the

STRAND VICTORIA UNIVERSITY’S STUDENT NEWSPAPER VOLUME 62, ISSUE 9 | 11 FEBRUARY 2020

a e n v o d l s e ex i ht ssu

e

The “enthusiastic yes”

Date The Strand

Best of love ... according to us

opinions | page 5

features | page 8

arts and culture | page 12

02 NEWS

EDITORS | KHADIJA ALAM AND ANN MARIE ELPA NEWS@THESTRAND.CA

The future of the UniversityMandated Leave of Absence Policy What does the Presidential & Provostial Task Force on Student Mental Health final report mean for UMLAP? ELLEN GRACE ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

Content Warning: This article contains mention of suicide and police violence.

The Presidential & Provostial Task Force on Student Mental Health released its official report on January 15, 2020. Along with this report came an official response from the University, stating that it will comply with all 21 of the Task Force’s recommendations.

Included in this list is recommendation 18: “Improve understanding of and ensure robust review of the University-Mandated Leave of Absence Policy.”

The University-Mandated Leave of Absence Policy (UMLAP) began as a recommendation from the ombudsperson in 2015, posited as a way to prevent students with serious mental health issues from damaging their academic record. The other reasoning

provided for UMLAP on the UofT website is that sometimes “student[s] need to take a leave in order to protect the safety of others, or their own safety, or to avoid negatively affecting the educational experience of others.”

The University also emphasized that this policy will only be used in rare occasions. Criteria such as whether or not the student can still make use of University facilities, or how long the student must remain on leave are to be determined on a case-by-case basis.

The history of the Leave of Absence Policy at UofT is one fraught with criticism.

Both students and faculty have voiced serious concerns about the implications that this policy makes: that students at UofT are already receiving adequate mental health care, and that students with mental health issues can easily become violent and pose a threat to the community.

The policy was proposed for

implementation in January of 2018 but was temporarily withdrawn based on the recommendation of the Ontario Human Rights Commission’s Chief Commissioner, who argued that the policy stigmatizes students with mental illness. The policy was brought back and approved by the governing council in June of 2018.

Despite its approval by the governing council, UMLAP continues to face criticism.

At the October 2019 meeting of the University of Toronto’s Governing Council, members of various student groups spoke on the ongoing mental health crisis at the university and noted their disapproval of UMLAP. Ombudsperson Dr. Ellen Hodnett, who advocates that the UMLAP is evidence-based and fair, accused students of using student deaths on campus as a means of critiquing UMLAP. The University of Toronto Students' Union released a statement denouncing Dr.

Hodnett’s comments and called for her apology. In November of 2019, after an incident involving a student in crisis being handcuffed, UTM faculty members Beverly Bain and Vannina Sztainbok published an open letter calling for the University to apologize to the student in question, in addition to the halting of the practice of arresting and handcuffing students, and a repeal of UMLAP. So, what does the Task Force’s report mean for UMLAP? The report does not call for the removal of the policy. Instead, it mentions a need to make students aware that they will not be put on leave for simply seeking mental health services. It notes that the University should review the policy annually “to continue discourse on topics like this that challenge us.” As of right now, UMLAP is still in place. Based on this report, the only way UMLAP may get updated or repealed is through this Task Force-recommended annual policy review.

Swiping left on loneliness In conversation with UofT students NAMAH JAGGI CONTRIBUTOR

The Information Age has found a way to digitize everything, and the amorphous notions of sex, love, and intimacy are no exceptions.

The Strand interviewed three UofT students to learn more about their experiences navigating dating apps.

What made you want to download dating apps in university?

Persephone: I feel like where I came from, the dating pool was just so incredibly small. There were maybe, like, two girls that liked girls in my small, suburban town. So, as soon as I got here, it was like, “Oh, I have my own place, finally,” in a new, exciting city with a bunch of girls who were looking for what I was. And I was just, like, ready to become a part of that culture.

Rachel: Well, I'm trans, and that makes finding other people who are okay with that difficult, and dating apps open you up to a wider group of people.

Dev: It was just never an option back home. I wasn’t out to my parents and even outside of that, being gay isn’t really okay in the country I’m from. I was always paranoid that someone was going to find out and tell my parents or beat me up or something.

I focus on looking for trans people, especially trans women or trans feminine people because I feel like spending time with them allows me to better understand my own identity and have a stronger connection to who I am.

unwarranted; I think it might have something to do with people hav[ing] less boundaries and thinking that if someone [is on a dating app, then] any advances towards them are allowed—which obviously, isn't actually the case.

D: Honestly? Just friends. I’m an introvert so it’s difficult for me to make new friends, and UofT being so big and overwhelming doesn’t really help with that. I R: Yes, 100 percent. So many mean, don’t get me wrong, I am of the current friends I have in more than okay with finding the university aren't people I met love of my life too *laughs*. directly through classes, but on dating apps. It's just much more, Have you experienced any uh, curated, and it's easier for me negative aspects to online dating culture? to find community.

D: Oh, Grindr will make you hate yourself

Have dating apps helped you foster a sense of community?

D: Yeah, I’ve met a lot of people P: Yeah definitely. I feel like in similar situations and it’s just it can be, like, a very isolating nice to talk about it. experience or make you feel lonely if you don’t match with In downloading these apps, people immediately. It’s definitely what were/are you looking addictive, constantly looking for? for people. Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm kind of grateful P: Uh… just sex. that I don’t have to constantly be on the apps, hunting.

R: Initially, I was looking for literally just anyone who would R: There is an idea that lots of like to spend time with me. But people have that they can be as now that I have a group of people, sexual as they want, even if it's

Have dating apps contributed positively to your life?

P: Oh yeah. They definitely have *giggles*.

R: Yes. 100 percent. For all of the negatives you could bring out, I definitely do think that without them, I wouldn't know some of the nicest people I know.

I wouldn't know what I know now or have had the experiences I have [had]. They’ve given me community, which I think is incredibly important.

These interviews have been edited for length and clarity. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

NEWS 03

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 FEBRUARY 2020

New requirement changes for Computer Science POSt

Love is in the air

Facing growing backlash, the Computer Science Department has decided to revise acceptance criteria for first-year students

SARAH ABERNETHY

Valentine’s events on and around campus contributor

The Aphrodite Project Submissions due February 12; Matches made February 14 Do you ever wonder if your soulmate just walked past you on St. George? Me too. However, soon you’ll have to look no further for your perfect UofT match! Two computer-savvy undergraduate students have combined forces to act as Cupid and created the ultimate UofT matchmaking quiz. There's a quiz with 60 deal-breaker based questions destined to match you to your most compatible fellow student.

All matches will be set up via email on Valentine’s Day, then the rest is up to you!

Valentine’s Cookie Decorating Multi-Faith Centre, Room 207 (569 Spadina Avenue) February 10, 2 pm to 4 pm

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ERIC MCGARRY web editor

Content warning: mentions of suicide.

Over the past few years, the UofT Computer Science (CS) Department has faced much controversy surrounding their program of study (POSt) requirements.

The number of applications to CS has soared in recent years, with 537 applications in 2014 compared to 981 in 2018—all while the number of admissions stayed roughly the same. With the increased number of applications, the median average of accepted students also inflated from 78.5 in 2014 to 89.2 in 2018 (for the Specialist and Major programs). This growing pressure led to much backlash from students and created a harsh environment of competition and resentment.

Following multiple student deaths by suicide at the Bahen Centre for Information Technology—the location of the CS Department offices, the Computer Science Students Union (CSSU), and many of the CS classes and the CS community—it was announced that a change was being made to the POSt at a mental health town hall in March of 2019. It was stated that the number of students admitted would be increased by around 10 percent and the requirements would be adjusted for those accepted into the CS stream (CMP1) from high school.

These changes have now been finalized in what the department is calling “A New First-Year Experience”.

Their site now states, “Changes include new courses and an admission guarantee.

All students admitted to the CMP1

| matt clare on flickr

admission category are guaranteed a place in the Computer Science Specialist, Major or Minor program of choice after first-year, provided that conditions of their guarantee have been met.” The department is eliminating the old required courses of CSC165H1 and CSC148H1 and replacing them with CSC110Y1 and CSC111H1, aiming to interweave 165 and 148 together to allow for better understanding of the material.

Incoming students must achieve at least a 70 percent in CSC110 and at least a 77 percent in CSC111 if applying to the Specialist or Major program as well as completing MAT137H1/157H1. For a Minor, they must achieve 70 percent in CSC111 and complete at least 4.0 credits.

While the department hopes this will help to mend the future CS community and foster a better environment for mental health, many current students have cautious or even negative reactions to these changes. Samia Muqeem, who is specializing in Bioinformatics and Computational Biology due to not being admitted into CS, had this to say about the changes: “It’s frustrating to see these changes now. I don’t imagine that it’ll be easy, but I achieved higher than the new requirements when I applied. Though it is good for the incoming students, so I am happy for them.” She further explained how she, like many other students coming from overseas, were unaware of POSt to begin with saying, “I only discovered POSt after I came to university. I thought since I was accepted into the CS stream that meant I was actually in CS.” No changes are being implemented for students outside of the stream.

If you can’t have love, you might as well have cookies. What’s even better is that UofT’s VegClub is hosting a vegan cookie decorating event just in time for Valentine’s Day! Take some time out of your Monday to test out your decorating skills. Attend with your friends, or just treat yourself! Who says Valentine’s Day can’t be about giving yourself some love in the form of food?

Poetry in Union: Railway Lines and Valentines Union Station (65 Front Street), The West Wing February 14, 12 pm to 7:30 pm Is there anything more romantic than sharing love poems with strangers? The League of Canadian Poets has organized an event this Valentine’s Day to take place in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Union Station. Eight established Torontonian poets will be creating personalized love poems for strangers, which commuters are then welcome to use as gifts for loved ones. Additionally, the event will feature ongoing spoken word performances, live piano music, and free snacks and hot chocolate.

Be Gay, Do Research: Research Skills Workshop Robarts Library, Room 4033 (130 St. George Street) February 13, 1 pm to 3 pm Learn how to do online and library research from two queer librarians-in-training. Lots of resources will be available for participants including: knowing what a librarian can help you with, knowing how to identify and search for different types of content, finding the right databases, figuring out when to use a specialized database, and using search tools.

You must register for this event.

04 EDITORIAL

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | REBECCA GAO EDITOR@THESTRAND.CA

I love you, most ardently

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The Strand has been the newspaper of record for Victoria University since 1953. It is published 12 times a year with a circulation of 1200 and is distributed in Victoria University buildings and across the University of Toronto’s St. George campus.

The Strand flagrantly enjoys its editorial autonomy and is committed to acting as an agent of constructive social change. As such, we will not publish material deemed to exhibit racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, or other oppressive language.

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rebecca gao editor-in-chief

me because it’s too revealing. It’s much more comfortable, unfortunately, to shield my feelings The first time I said “I love you” to my current with irony or comedy. This artificial personality is boyfriend was over Facebook messenger. a familiar costume I can put on and move through It was the summer of 2017. We had been dating the world without exposing my insecurities. Yes, for about three months at that point. The details of I’m scared of rejection. But more than that, being that night, once so important and precious to me, insincere means that any rejection I encounter isn’t are now secondary to this one moment. I realized a judgement of my true character, just this artificial I loved him when we were on the subway home. personality.

Frankly, I was pissed that I had to take the subway up to Scarborough when he was only going a few stops up from where we were. I realized I loved him when I realized I wasn’t pissed: I was sad and missed him already.

I’m a really affectionate person. I tell everyone and anyone I love them. I’m also really emotional and I cry a lot. I cried writing this, I will cry when I edit this, and I will cry when I put this into the layout.

Despite all that emotion, I find it incredibly hard to be sincere—romantically, at least. Writing that short anecdote above made me cringe. I don’t want anyone to know I have icky romantic feelings about my boyfriend of almost three years.

There’s something about our age of ironic Since the night of the Facebook message, my detachment. People tend to make fun of sincerity. boyfriend and I have been through almost three We tend to call PDA gross, gushy Instagram years of ups and downs. More than being able to captions corny, and genuine joy uncomfortable. break through my ironic detachment, he makes Which brings us back to Facebook messenger. me feel sincerely myself. Being with him means I Overwhelmed with the “holy shit I think I love can shed my artificial personality. He props me up you” of it all, I turned to what was the easiest thing and makes me feel like I can be whoever I want for me: texting. Facebook messenger is no place to to be. The most important “whoever” I am when say those three words, but because of my fear of I’m with him is myself. (Oh god, I hate how corny sincerity, it was an out. It was a way for me to say this sounds! I know we just went over this but what I needed to say without the honesty that we unlearning habits is hard!) both deserved. Shooting him a message was an easy Happy Valentine’s Day. I sincerely hope you way for me to be indirectly direct. spend it with someone who you feel sincerely As someone filled with self-hate, I am always yourself with. And, take it from me, don’t say “I way too aware of how I come off. Sincerity scares love you” on Facebook messenger.

SHOOTING HIM A MESSAGE WAS AN EASY WAY FOR ME TO BE INDIRECTLY DIRECT.

OPINIONS 05

EDITOR | MEG JIANING ZHANG OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

The "enthusiastic yes" Ontario's battle for consent education maia roberts contributor

When it comes to sex, what’s the first step that comes to mind? Frantically searching for a non-expired condom? Finding the perfect soundtrack? Putting a sock on the door? Well, ideally, none of these things come first because the very first step in every sexual interaction—or really any interaction—should be consent.

What exactly is consent, anyway? I know we all saw the video they played during Orientation Week; you know, the one with the tea. You wouldn’t force someone to have tea, would you? If they asked for tea before and they don’t want it now, there shouldn’t be any problem with that. And most importantly, tea should never be forced upon someone. But consent in the real, non tea-centric world is a lot more complicated than that.

The concept of consent is not just for sexual interactions; it can, and should, be applied to everyday life as well. Some educators believe that the topic of consent should be taught to children as early as in Kindergarten—just in different words.

Using concepts like “personal space” and “bad touch” allows children to articulate their discomfort before it gets out of hand—and allows educators to nip nonconsensual behaviour in the bud.

In preparation for this article, I had the honour to interview the co-founder of the #StudentsSayNo movement, Rayne Fisher-Quann. At just 17 years old, she was instrumental in orchestrating the largest walk-out in Canadian history; on September 21, 2018, over 100 schools across Ontario walked out in protest of the Ford government’s cuts to both sex education and Indigenous education curricula. When asked why she got involved with sex-ed activism, Fisher-Quann said it perfectly: “I think that [...] it’s not too ambitious to dream of a

society where [sexual harassment] doesn’t happen.

Education is the cornerstone to making that happen.

I always think if [my catcallers] had learned about consent in a mandatory school setting, would they be treating me like that? Probably not.”

In addition to Fisher-Quann, I also interviewed sex educator Caitlin O’Fallon from Planned Parenthood in Saint Paul, Minnesota, USA, about her thoughts on consent-focused sex-ed.

According to O’Fallon, “We consent to stuff all day—do you need a ride? Do you need help? Do you wanna hang out? But we don’t think about how that’s consent.”

Both Fisher-Quann and O’Fallon emphasize that consent should be practiced constantly and shouldn’t just be limited to the bedroom.

When speaking on its role in everyday life, FisherQuann asserts that “consent is a concept that transcends sexual education. [It’s] not just about sex. If Ontario is talking about wanting to build communities that understand consent, and where women and femmes feel completely safe, that’s [something] that should be implemented as soon as possible, [like] introducing consent education in multiple different forms, basically as young as it gets. It really is a very digestible concept.”

The importance of consent should be universally agreed upon: a simple “yes means yes, no means no.”

Right? Well, not according to Doug Ford.

In 2015, Ontario’s Liberal government introduced an updated sex-ed curriculum: a fairly progressive lesson plan that included the topics of masturbation, sexual orientation and gender identity, and Indigenous teachings of sexuality, among others. But in 2018, the newly elected Doug Ford and his Tory government replaced it with sex-ed curriculum the province originally used in 1998—a move highly criticized by students and educators alike.

In the interim 2018 curriculum, the term 'consent' was not mentioned anywhere. The only type of sex mentioned was penile-vaginal, and sexual abstinence was heavily stressed. In comparison to the 2015 curriculum introduced by the Liberals, Ford’s was highly reductive and dangerously lacking in relevant content.

As of Fall 2019, a new curriculum has been added to replace Ford’s. Funnily enough, it’s virtually indistinguishable from the 2015 curriculum he fought so hard to replace. But there is one crucial difference: much more sex-ed, including more consent-related topics, is now taught as early as Grade 1. Materials within this addition include recognizing caring versus exploitative behaviours, positive self-talk, and learning the proper anatomical names for body parts.

Previously, consent was first taught in Grade 7, with an optional teacher prompt given in Grade 6. According to Globalnews.ca, the word ‘consent’ “shows up nearly three times more often in this curriculum than the old one.”

The introduction of Ontario’s new curriculum is obviously a step in the right direction for sex education activists—but by no means has it reached the end goal. As Fisher-Quann states, “[Sex education curriculum] should be designed by people who don’t look like me. I think an ideal sexed curriculum is one that’s created in collaboration with queer communities, communities of colour, with young people, with children. I don’t think that any one person, no matter how “woke” they are, can really create a fully cohesive and comprehensive sexed curriculum.”

Including marginalized groups in the conversation not only allows the children in their communities to be better equipped to handle the world, but it creates a future where consent is a given—and a “no” really does mean no.

visual

| maia roberts

06 OPINIONS

EDITOR | MEG JIANING ZHANG OPINIONS@THESTRAND.CA

Love, love, love Unwinding a word T WILLIAMS STAFF WRITER

There are too many words for love in Greek, so I won’t list them all here. The one English word, “love”, has too many connotations for me to list. Furthermore, I’m not your dictionary. But I’m sure we both want to know what love means. Obviously, we can’t just prescribe meaning to language. We must describe instead. So, the question is not what is love, but how is the word used?

Plato wrote a whole dialogue, the Symposium, about just one type of love: eros.

This is the love that old ancient Greek men felt for beautiful ancient Greek boys and sometimes for women. In the Symposium, Socrates is called upon to eulogize love and instead philosophizes it. But Socrates is no expert on the subject. He defers to a woman: Diotima. The prophetess unties everything Socrates thinks he knows about love and introduces him to its mysteries. Socrates is no match for Diotima, it is delightful to see him finally bested in dialogue. Love, Diotima and Socrates agree, is desire for beautiful things and ultimately desire for immortality. To be a good lover is to learn to love beautiful mutable boys in the right way so that you can learn to love eternal beauty itself. And from this, with good thoughts and deeds, one can reach towards true immortality. But if love is the lack of something, what happens to me when I get the object of my desire? Well, Plato writes, I become happy. But Plato! It’s Valentine’s day, I am young and foolish. I don’t want to be happy. I want to be in love!

People quote 1 Corinthians 13 way too often, especially at weddings. Paul’s words come easily to mind: love is patient, kind, it keeps no record of wrongs, etc. Folks, just pull it up on biblegateway.com–you won’t be disappointed. I know Paul is played out, cliché, but I keep coming back to him. I have loved with an envious heart. I have neglected to be kind. To the apostle, love is a light which makes all it touches worthwhile. It has not an atom of desire. It is a way of being in the world that I am constantly failing to live up to. At the same time, Paul worries me. I have been too quick to forgive and too fast to forget. Maybe Paul would admire my little sacrifices, but I don’t. I don’t think I’ve done anybody any favours by them. And what does love get us? Well, we will know fully as we are fully known when completeness comes. I don’t think I can wait that long. I want to be known and loved right here and right now, in flesh and blood.

A sonnet is essentially the sixteenth century’s love song, almost always composed by a lover for a beloved. I don’t really like Shakespeare’s anymore because one of my exes has Sonnet 18 memorized. But I do like Philip Sidney and his sonnet masterwork, Astrophil and Stella. The first sonnet’s final couplet is eternally seared into my sunburned brain: “Biting my truant pen, beating myself for

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spite, / ‘Fool,’ said my Muse to me, ‘look in thy heart, and write.’”

Again, just Google this one. Ok, now that we’re on the same page, you should be suspicious. Isn’t this supposed to be about Stella, the beloved? Why is Astrophil talking about himself? Stella is almost absent, disembodied. What we have is a poem about the depth of the sonneteer’s desire. Sidney/ Astrophil’s love is disastrously Platonian. His verses will bring him immortality in the fact that I am discussing them here, but he will go straight through Stella, blowing out her spine and scattering her ashes to do so. And Astrophil, should love really be “the blackest face of woe?” If Astrophil and Stella were written for me, I would say, “You seem sad; consider writing about me next time.” There would be no second date.

Before he was a priest, John Donne wrote horny lyric poetry and he was the best at it.

In The Canonization, he purports to give us a pattern of love that we might emulate. For the last time, you can just look this one up on Poetry Foundation. And you should. The love Donne’s couple share is joyously paradoxical.

It is a sacred profanity that gives them the world in each other as they lose it forever.

They die and rise, joined together forever in their urn and yet alive. We can have eternity and have each other all at once. Donne seems to have squared Plato’s circle, but not so fast.

Must the world really contract and dive into one person’s eye for me to love? Is this what we should want? The world is so big, John Donne, I don’t think it will fit. I can’t be held in one touch or one gaze forever. My hands

| mia carnevale

will get sweaty, my vision will waver.

I feel loved when I read Kai Cheng Thom, especially when I read her most recent book of essays, I Hope We Choose Love. The collection’s focus is on the queer community, the internal problems it faces, and how they might be addressed. Really, Kai Cheng spends little time describing love. She touches on it in the essay which shares the book’s title. She mentions an “ethics of love”. Her writing is clear, practical, and actionable, but at its root, informed by love. Love is part of no syllogism, no argument but always provides the direction of thought and of action. This, I think, is what she means by choosing love, again and again. And this is not a love like Paul’s. It is a love you will have to apologize to. It is a love which will hold you to account. I am reminded by her that it is one thing to love and quite another to live in a community which is actually informed by it.

Hisham Matar should really talk to his wife. He treats her like a sphinx in his memoir, A Month in Siena. Her subjectivity is an unbreachable mystery that Hisham can only get close to but never understand. He, like Plato, thinks that love is lacking; that he will never know his wife truly is the engine of his love for her. He will always desire and never have. To be in love forever, how nice.

But, Hisham, would it kill you to just ask your wife a question? Like, dude, come on. She’s right there. Couldn’t the two of you just be honest? Wouldn’t that at least help? I think Hisham would say, in a frustratingly elegant way, that to do so would be to explode his love. But a love like that I am fine doing away with.

OPINIONS 07

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 FEBRUARY 2020

Virginity and shame Sexually active women? Sluts. Virgin men? Losers.

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MEGHAN KELLY CONTRIBUTOR

There are a million different ways for someone to ask you. Have you swiped your V-card?

Have you popped your cherry? Hell, even your doctor asks you if you’re sexually active as soon as you enter puberty. What you feel pressured to answer, however, heavily depends on your gender. Girls are constantly pressured to wait and think about whether or not they should let someone take their virginity and who they should choose to give it to. Despite virginity being a social construct, it’s still viewed as a deep, meaningful, and visceral possession.

Men, however, are generally far less encouraged to think out their decisions when it comes to when they’ll lose their virginity and to whom.

In fact, rarely will you hear anyone refer to having “taken the virginity” of a man. Instead, men are more pressured from their compatriots to find a conquest as soon as possible to shed their virginity in order to seem more manly.

The stigma behind women’s sexuality can be found everywhere, from the pure white dresses in bridal magazines, to dress code requirements, to how embarrassing it can be for a woman to even step foot into the family planning aisle of a drugstore. Girls are rarely considered to be the ones seeking sexual pleasure, and rather they are often only thought of as tools for a man’s pleasure, nothing more than casualties of a wily penis. Thus, a woman is thought of as able to choose—out of many begging men— who will have the honor of breaking her hymen (which was probably already broken riding a bike at age 12). In my sexual education class in high school, they specifically stressed that women should abstain as much as possible from having multiple sexual partners because her self-worth would diminish. This sends the message to young girls that when they have sex, especially for the very first time, they are giving

a piece of themselves away rather than gaining any sort of pleasure or satisfaction. This turns sex into a transaction in which women “lose” something to their partner. The pressure to remain “pure” makes women believe that if they choose to have sex, they are somehow dirtied, used, or sullen. Women who choose to be sexually active are demonized by other girls for their choice of sexual partner or number of sexual partners. It’s constantly stressed to women that who they choose to have sex with for the first time will define them. For women, who they have sex with, how soon, and how often are all determinants of their self-worth.

As much as the first time you do anything accomplishes a milestone, having sex for the first time as a woman is more representative of an end than a beginning. The condemnation of women having sex is a point of great shame and turmoil for young women. In reality, having sex with someone has whatever meaning that you choose to give to it. A woman should not feel broken or less than whole just because they chose to have sex.

For men, the pressure is quite the opposite.

Once puberty hits, men are expected to become machines of sexual activity and to seek out conquests almost immediately. I have a 19-year-old male friend who is a virgin, but when his male friends make comments about how sexually active he must be, he doesn’t correct them because he fears the torment and judgement he would face for choosing to not have sex. Why do men see the choice to abstain as so unnatural? Why do they feel the need to compare their “body counts,” as if it’s a measure of their manhood? Possibly, because men are taught that they are responsible for convincing women to sleep with them; that they’re the hunters and women are their prey.

This message is hammered in by other males, as well as by pop culture. In teen movies, there is frequently a portrayal of a small young nerd

| yoon-ji kweon

who wants to charm a girl into sleeping with him before college because the stress of being a virgin is just too much for him to bear. There was even a movie made called The 40 Year Old Virgin because haha, how funny is the idea that a man has never had sex? In the TV show Friends, the playboy character, Joey Tribbiani, is depicted as a suave, hypermasculine man for having sex with tons of women and never becoming attached. Meanwhile, Chandler Bing is constantly ridiculed for not being able to get women to sleep with him. His friends even joke he may be gay simply because he doesn’t sleep with copious numbers of women. This attitude implies that a man’s skill in convincing women to have sex is what determines whether or not he will have sex, rather than the consent of the women involved. This can also be related back to the view that women don’t enjoy sex or actively seek it out. There’s a certain shame that comes with being a male virgin that has even spawned darker communities like “Incels” (involuntary celibates) who condemn womankind for not having sex with them. For men, sex is viewed as an unquestionable need that must be met.

It’s not men’s fault that they feel such shame for sexual inactivity, it’s what they’ve been taught by their peers and mentors, but they should consider how that shame makes them view sex and women.

Although having sex for the first time is a milestone, virginity should hold the meaning each person chooses to give it. Think about how you treat people upon learning their sexual history. Do you judge them based on your own views of virginity and sex? Have you slut-shamed a girl? Have you mocked a “sexually-inexperienced” boy? The reflex to judge others for not acting as society dictates is ingrained in us from childhood, but when you question those norms, you begin to see how utterly ridiculous it is to force those views on individuals.

08 FEATURES

EDITOR | HADIYYAH KUMA FEATURES@THESTRAND.CA

The Strand is lonely this Valentine’s Day and we want you. Some of us are employees at this godforsaken newspaper just to get a date. If you too are missing out on love this February 14, then check out our cute, sexy, and thrilling masthead below.We are now accepting applications at our office. Seriously. Call us.

Come to our office hours with roses, teddy bears, and other commercialized symbols of your affection.

Illustrations by Amy Jiao

Rebecca Gao

Abbie Moser

Ellen Grace

Position: Head Bitch in Charge

Position: Arts and Culture Editor

Position: First Base

What’s your biggest turn on?

“Please don't write about this.”

What's your type?

Men who don't pay attention to me, men I can't have, and all women.

What’s your favourite celebrity?

Rebecca Gao.

What would you do for love?

Get into basketball.

What wouldn’t you do for love?

Get into any other sport.

What's your biggest turn-on?

Men who don't use women as their therapists.

Your idea of a perfect date?

We compare our birth charts, see how compatible we are, and establish if you're emotionally available so I can find out early on if dating you is a waste of my time and energy or not.

Max Nisbeth

Eric McGarry

What's your favourite pasttime?

Searching the names of popular pieces of literary criticism on Twitter so I can base my opinions off of the opinions of others instead of forming my own.

What would you do for love?

Hatch an elaborate two-year plot to get myself on The Strand masthead with my only goal being to get a profile in “Date The Strand”.

Eden Prosser

Position: Stranded Editor

Position: Web Editor

Position: Editorial Assistant

Describe the awkwardest date you've ever had: At the end of the date she paid for the entire meal and said, "I'm doing this because you're unemployed."

Your idea of a perfect date?

Bananagrams. Just hours of Bananagrams. If I’m not playing Banagrams then I’m not having fun

What’s your relationship status?

Shamelessly, sincerely, spectacularly single.

Favourite method of communication?

Talking, because it takes me a long time to use emojis.

Two truths and a lie?

I’m short. I’m tall. I’m just right.

Favourite method of communication and why?

I dress my brother in a pigeon costume and then make him send emails for me.

So, carrier pigeon emails, just seems right!

Favourite quote: “Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created?”Steve Buscemi, Spy Kids 2.

Celeb crush Tom Holland *heart eyes emoji* Your idea of a perfect date?

Oh, June 5, for sure. It’s usually pretty warm—well, except when it rains, but that only happens, like, 38 percent of the time—and this year it’s falling on a Friday, too, and who doesn’t love Fridays?

FEATURES 09

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 FEBRUARY 2020

Julianna He

Noah Kelly

Jasmine Ng

Position: Copyeditor

Position: Podcast Editor

Position: Podcast Editor

What’s your ideal type?

A bad boy who saves kittens from the pouring rain in his spare time.

What’s your ideal type?

O-negative (universal donor)

Your idea of a perfect date?

You tell me the earth is flat and I make prolonged eye contact with the waiter who definitely overheard.

Favourite method of communication?

Love letters: confessions of undying love to feed my ego.

What wouldn't you do for love?

Die.

What's your biggest turn off If you don't have a therapist, don't talk to me.

Favourite method of communication and why?

Dance. A body roll can capture more than a language ever could.

Meg Jianing Zhang

Sandy Forsyth

What’s your biggest turn-on?

When he goes to therapy.

What’s your biggest turn off?

“Scarlett Johansson is such a good actress."

Leo Morgenstern

Position: Senior Copyeditor

Position: Opinions Editor

Position: "The Man"aging Editor

Celeb crush?

The purple Teletubby.

What’s your relationship status?

The 2008 English-language French action thriller film starring Liam Neeson: Taken.

What’s your relationship status?

"Enchanted"

What does love mean to you?

Discounted chocolates on February 15.

Favourite method of communication?

LinkedIn private messaging.

How do you usually end a relationship?

Ghosting~~~ What wouldn't you do for love?

Cut my hair.

Tian Ren Chu

Ann Elpa

What does love mean to you?

“It’s Nice to Have a Friend” Favourite method of communication?

Taylor Swift song titles.

Khadija Alam

Position: Associate Science Editor

Position: Fake News Editor #1

Position: Fake News Editor #2

What’s your relationship status?

Deeply committed to my GPA.

What's your ideal type?

Tall skinny white boys with 500 LinkedIn connections (bonus points if they can read).

What’s your relationship status?

Falling in love with every girl who looks at me a little too long.

What’s your biggest turn off?

Peoplle who dont spellcheck thier texts like ughhhh Favourite method of communication?

Letters via Owl Post (someday I'll tame an owl and name it Hedwig)!

Celeb crush?

Andy Samberg.

What would you do for love?

Cook you food and proofread your essay.

Celeb crush?

Whoever's running @uoftfloofspotting on Instagram.

Favourite method of communication and why? *Read at 11:69 pm*

10 SCIENCE

EDITOR | MICHAL LECKIE SCIENCE@THESTRAND.CA

Let’s talk about (genetic) sex jasmine ng co-podcast editor

IO AT TR

N

Y DNE | SY

ILLUSTRATION | AMY JIAO

XY chromosomes. It is also interesting to note how the diminutive Y chromosome contains the SRY gene that determines testis development. Without this gene, an ovary develops. With these two examples, it is clear how genetic differences—in activation and inactivation, in presence and absence—can produce different outcomes. It is also possible for people to have more or fewer than two sex chromosomes. In Klinefelter syndrome, males have XXY, and in Turner syndrome, females have one X. There are many characteristics of these syndromes. Some notable features in Klinefelter males are breast tissue growth and undescended testes. In Turner females, it is the lack of breast development and menstruation. One commonality is infertility. From this description, one can see why these syndromes have been included in the long list of Disorders of Sex Development. Whether or not this label is preferred is up to individuals with these conditions. Though one might not know the full breadth of experiences, the diversity of human sex beyond simply “male” and “female” is something everyone can appreciate.

GRAM

ILL

US

To many people, hermaphroditism seems like a faraway concept one reads about in novels or articles. However, there are many people whose gonadal and genetic features would not fit within our limited definitions of “male” and “female” sex. With greater interest from medical and social groups, the terminology we use to discuss intersex is changing. There has been debate about whether or not conditions should be included, such as chromosomal Turner (single X) and Klinefelter (XXY) syndromes, as well as questions about how much trust to place in physical or genetic definitions of intersex. Sex and gender have always been a part of human identity, and the words we use to discuss these concepts have social consequences, such as affecting people’s self-image and leading to othering.

In modern times, the term “hermaphrodite” is being phased out. On the whole, medical doctors are moving away from the word due to its stigma and narrow definition. True hermaphrodites are people with both a testis and an ovary, or a combined ovotestis. However, there are other people with features that do not entirely align with true hermaphrodites, and therefore would be called “pseudohermaphrodites”. For many people, being called “true” or “pseudo” could have emotional weight, especially when it pertains to a stigmatized condition. This is why Cheryl Chase, the founder of the Intersex Society of North America, pushed for a medical classification that did not include “true,” “pseudo,” “hermaphrodite,”

or mentions of gender. The term “Disorders of Sex Development” was adopted in 2005 after a conference involving Chase and 48 medical professionals. The term received mixed reactions from intersex people and the medical community. It is possible to understand the reactions from both sides. On one hand, it is a step toward developing a more descriptive intersex classification system, but on the other, people with intersex would rather not be called disordered. For a community that has often been mistreated by the public and medical professionals, it is important to consider their critique of medical labels. Though there is no answer to the question of nomenclature, this much is clear: classification systems have always had their limitations, depending on which traits you choose to focus on. The Klebbs system, which has been widely used, focused on gonads. However, the development of genetic technology has revealed another aspect of genetic sex.

Genome sequencing and karyotyping have led to major discoveries about human genetics. Genome sequencing has given scientists detailed “maps” of our chromosomes, which allows them to hone-in on genes that might cause or contribute to disorders.

Karyotyping, on the other hand, involves taking a picture of one’s chromosomes to number them and examine abnormalities. One use of this technology is genetic sex research, which could inform our classification of Disorders of Sex Development.

One of the most interesting findings has been the discovery of male and anti-male genes. These genes are activated or inactivated in subtle patterns that produce physical sex traits. The gene WNT4 has been of particular interest. It is generally “on” in females, while “off” in males. When overexpressed, it has been shown to feminize individuals even in the presence of

Sexual compatability made easy Finding a partner as a fungus with 28,000 different sexes

sydney gram contributor

Reproductive sex in most organisms requires compatibility. In humans, sexual compatibility is an entire field in itself populated by sex therapists, behavioral psychologists, and neuroscientists. But barring the complexity of human social behavior and returning to general biology, the biological concept of sexual compatibility is fundamentally a question of genetics: if two individuals have sex, will their genomes recombine with each other in a way that produces viable offspring?

In many species, including most animals and plants, reproduction requires compatibility of gametes, such as eggs and sperm. Typically, differences in gamete production among sexes are accompanied by physiological differences related to the creation or delivery of those gametes—we call these secondary sex characteristics.

However, in mushroom-forming fungi, very few species possess specialized sex organs or show any physical manifestations of a biological sex at all.

Individuals of different sexes look, grow, and mate in the exact same way. This is because in many species of fungi, sex is not determined by physiology—it is instead determined by genes. Just one or two regions of the fungal genome are capable of specifying a

fungus’s mating type by encoding systems of chemical recognition and compatibility.

Sexual compatibility systems in fungi can be bipolar or tetrapolar. Bipolar species possess one mating locus in their genome that can come in two varieties. This gives bipolar fungi two different mating types, which, because they don’t possess characters that would conform to an idea of “male” or “female”, are commonly denoted as +/- or a/α. This is roughly similar to other organisms that have an “either/or” two-sex mating system—in mating, the union of one of each mating type is required to produce offspring.

It follows then, that any bipolar individual is sexually compatible with half of the population, including half of its siblings.

But the real fun begins when we talk about fungi whose mating systems are tetrapolar. Tetrapolar fungi have not one, but two separate, unlinked regions in their genome that jointly contribute to mating compatibility. These two mating loci are often referred to simply as A and B. Similar to bipolar fungi, each of these two mating loci have at least two different allelic variants, i.e. A1/A2 and B1/B2. This means that tetrapolar fungi can have at least four different sexes, depending on the combinations of mating alleles they possess (at minimum, either A1B1, A1B2, A2B1, or A2B2). Mating can only be achieved if the partners possess different allelic forms at both the A locus and

the B locus. Therefore, a tetrapolar fungus will only have a one in four chance of being sexually compatible with its siblings—a sharp reduction in the potential for inbreeding when compared to organisms with two sexes!

And note above that I said tetrapolar fungi can have at least four sexes—most tetrapolar fungi actually have more than four. A lot more than four. One of the most common mushrooms in the world, Schizophyllum commune (which I’ve spotted growing year-round on trees along King’s College Circle), has over 300 known variants of the A mating locus and over 90 variants of the B locus. When these 300 different A’s and 90 different B’s are assorted into different combinations in individuals of this species, this fungus is effectively given one of 28,000 different possible sexes! This means that when it comes time for S. commune to reproduce, it could successfully have sex with 99.98 percent of the other individuals in its species. Compare this to organisms that have a binary sexual system, where an individual’s chances of encountering a genetically compatible mate are a mere 50 percent. But it gets better: S. commune also retains the added bonus of tetrapolarity—despite being highly compatible with almost all other members of its species, it is still only compatible with a quarter of its siblings.

You may not like it, but this is what peak sexual performance looks like.

ARTS AND CULTURE 11

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 FEBUARY 2020

Distance makes the heart grow longer (and stronger?)

The positives of long-distance dating.

MIRANDA CARROLL associate arts and culture editor

I am in a long-distance relationship, and as of Valentine's Day 2020, we will have been together for a year and a half. We fell in love in Trois-Pistoles, Quebec, on a French exchange in the summer of 2018. We fell in love on bike rides, hikes to waterfalls, and during badminton tournaments. Unfortunately, he is from Collingwood, Ontario, and goes to Western University and I am from Hamilton, Ontario, and I am a student here at UofT. As of right now, it will be two years before we get the chance to live in the same city. Over the course of our relationship, I have come to understand the difficulties of long-distance, but more importantly, I have learned that there are many positives to being in a long-distance relationship during university.

To be in a long-distance relationship, travel is required. I go to London, Ontario, many weekends and he often drives to Toronto to visit me. We forfeit study time and parties in our respective cities. In a way, though, I see these hours spent in transit as a testament to the strength of the relationship. I will never question if he is with me for convenience and comfort, because few things are less comfortable than sitting on a Greyhound bus for three hours next to a smelly guy, a sleeping snoring woman, or a rancid bathroom. The time spent in cars, trains, or buses itself proves to be an obvious downside, however, each moment in transit to a greater extent stands as an act of love.

Sometimes the space hurts. Parting at the end of a weekend together is always sad and, in some ways, disappointing. I find myself wishing we could spend time relaxing on Sunday nights together without worrying about catching a train or talking about how many days it will be before we see each other again. Though, just like with travel, this sadness in parting reminds me of the connection we have. Love can be felt in those moments of longing.

Love can also be felt in the excitement that each reunion produces. I can describe going to see my boyfriend like going to the beach. I have been before, of course, but the visits still do not fail to warm my heart like the sun or enchant me like the waves. This weekly or bi-weekly

excitement that we collectively experience further proves the worthiness of our pairing.

In a long-distance relationship, you don’t have someone to comfort and take care of you on a daily basis. I wish I had someone to go through my cue cards with on a Wednesday night before a midterm or give me a loving hug when I’m feeling blue. I don’t have a significant other in the city to comfort me during waves of sadness, homesickness, or anxiety. In this way, though, I can see in myself a strength stemming from my autonomy. I heal my own wounds of loneliness and stress; I build relationships outside of my romantic one, with friends and roommates. I know how happy we are together, and I know that I am also able to be happy when we are not together and I am alone. Despite having been in a relationship for a year and a half, I have not become co-dependent and my friendships have only gotten stronger, both with his friends in London and mine in Toronto.

I often go solo to events my friends bring dates to. It is the worst dancing to a slow song and wishing my boyfriend was there. But I have found in his absence a closeness with my best friends that might not have otherwise been possible. It is common to have a friend get a significant other and fall off the face of the earth. The balance between being in the throes of passionate young love and maintaining friendships, for some, proves to be very difficult.

Through my long-distance relationship, I am forced to live this balance. When I am not in the same city as him, I make my own life where I am, I go out with my girlfriends, I find things to do in the evenings, and I learn to be comfortable moving around the world without a man beside me.

Who knows, maybe deep down I am devastated that we do not live in the same city, and I have just given you a list of five negative aspects of long-distance dating and managed to turn them around to make them positive.

But I hope not. I think that long-distance relationships do test couples in the right way, that they do strengthen couples both as individuals and as partners, and that they allow you to prove your love with every parting and every reunion.

Until we live in the same place, I will just love you from Toronto.

bug February 7 - 22, 2020 Theatre Passe Muraille Mainspace Theater bug follows The Girl as she navigates her way through her intergenerational trauma while being followed by Manidoons, the physical manifestation of her addictions.

The Girl develops an addictive personality, clinging to anything that gives her power or makes her feel loved.

As her addiction grows, it manifests as the Manidoon creatures (Ojibwe for bug, insect or worm), and as she gets older, the Manidoons take over and her addictions become more and more dangerous.

Created and performed by Yolanda Bonnell (NOW Magazine’s Artists to Watch 2016), the 2019 four-time Dora-nominated physical performance weaves stories of Indigenous women grappling with their painful past while making tough choices to survive in this country. bug was nominated for four Dora Awards, including Outstanding Performance in a Leading Role, Outstanding Lighting Design, and Outstanding Theatre Production.

Tickets range from $17 - $38, with a “pay what you can” option for matinee shows and Wednesday night performances.

Cunningham February 21 – 23, 2020 Hot Docs Ted Rogers Cinema Trace the artistic evolution of legendary American choreographer Merce Cunningham over the course of his decades-long career; from his early years as a struggling dancer in post-war New York, to his emergence as one of the most influential dance artists worldwide. Weaving together electrifying renditions of Merce’s iconic routines, and performed by the last generation of his dancers, this eye-popping cinematic experience explores the late visionary’s philosophies, discoveries, and the risks he took on the way to revolutionizing modern dance.

Archival print of Sisters with Peter Kuplowsky February 21, 2020 at 9 pm TIFF Bell Lightbox The first of Brian De Palma's Hitchcock homages conceals a more serious, and ultimately more truly horrific, layer beneath its jocular salute to the Master.

From the opening of the film, De Palma invokes familiar Hitchcock themes from foundational works like Rear Window and Psycho (voyeurism, normality vs. the monstrous, etc.) in tongue-in-cheek ways, as a one-night stand between French-Canadian model Danielle (Margot Kidder) and a fellow contestant on a voyeurism-based game show called Peeping Toms ends in a morningafter murder — an early-act killing that invokes Psycho's shower murder, but is considerably more brutal and explicit. Our identification then shifts to Grace (Jennifer Salt), an intrepid but occasionally overzealous reporter who witnesses the killing and tries to get to the bottom of the subsequent cover-up. Her quest leads her to a delirious, narcotic-stimulated hallucination in a sinister medical clinic, where she relives a traumatic incident from Danielle's past at the hands of a creepy surgeon (William Finley). Abandoning Hitchcock and radically shifting tone in its final movements, Sisters finds its horror not in the masterful manipulation of audience expectations, but in patriarchy's pervasive control over women.

TIFF programmer Peter Kuplowsky will be providing an introduction and Q&A after the film.

Grow Op Exhibition March 12 – 15, 2020 Gladstone Hotel Toronto’s greenest exhibition is back! Grow Op is transforming the Gladstone Hotel’s galleries with 30+ immersive installations that take on this year’s theme: weather! Now in its eighth year, this four-day festival is rooted in urbanism, environmental sustainability, landscape design, and contemporary art.

Student tickets are $5 with student ID.

ILLUSTRATION | MIRANDA CARROLL

12 ARTS AND CULTURE

EDITOR | ABBIE MOSER ARTSANDCULTURE@THESTRAND.CA COLLAGE | AMY JIAO

Let’s talk about love, baby! abbie moser arts and culture editor

As Valentine’s Day approaches, the smell of capitalist-curated love intertwines with a whiff of desperation as couples either try to figure out their V-Day plans or attempt to break up in a nice way so they can stay in bed watching Netflix on the 14th. I genuinely love love and I LOVED making a corny, wholesome, and horny playlist for this sacred issue. Given that I chaotically mixed raunchy with sentimental, please listen to our longest playlist yet (believe me, I could have gone on even further) with caution as you think about your loved ones, the things you love, or even how much you love to hate your enemies..

“Love On Top”

by Beyoncé

“Touch My Body”

by Mariah Carey

Wholesome opinions held with sincerity.

HADIYYAH KUMA FEATURE EDITOR

“She Lives in My Lap”

by OutKast “Cherry”

by Rina Sawayama “Always Be My Baby”

by Mariah Carey “Girl”

by The Internet “Shoop”

by Salt-N-Pepa “Temperature”

by Sean Paul

“Hot in Herre”

by Nelly “S&M”

by Rihanna “Let’s Talk About Sex”

by Salt-N-Pepa “Dreamlover”

by Mariah Carey “First Date”

by Blink-182 “L.O.V.E.”

by Ashlee Simpson

“My Type”

by Saweetie

“Crazy in Love”

by Beyoncé feat.

Jay-Z

“P*$$Y Fairy (OTW)”

by Jhené Aiko

“Red Light Special”

by TLC

“Kiss Me Thru the “My Neck, My Back” Phone”

by Khia

by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em “Pony”

by Ginuwine “Please Me”

by K-Young

“Rock the Boat”

by Aaliyah “Pussycat”

by Missy Elliott

“I Don’t Need A Man”

by The Pussycat Dolls

“Kitty Kat”

by Beyoncé

“Hump Day”

by Miss Eaves

“After Tonight”

by Mariah Carey

Catch this playlist and many others on our Spotify.

Best love song?

“LOVE.” by Kendrick Lamar feat. Zacari Best celebrity couple?

Rebecca Gao and Leo Morgenstern.

They run this bitch.

Best love story or couple in a TV show?

Kawhi Leonard gives the Raptors a championship and then breaks up with them (Raptors games ARE TV shows). A tragical romance situation.

Best breakup song?

“Sorry” by Queen Bey Why? I don’t know, I guess you better call Becky

ABBIE MOSER ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

Best love story or couple in a TV show?

Gretchen and Jimmy from You’re the Worst.

Jimmy Shive-Overly (Chris Geere) is a truly unbearable and hideous British novelist struggling to further his career, and he dates Gretchen Cutler (Aya Cash), a music publicist, who is equally as terrible as he is. Their whole relationship is filled with red flags. Yes, they are the worst both as individuals and together, but they’re also a perfectly matched couple. There’s none of the forced chemistry that is often seen in media—the two click in every possible way—and it’s partly because no one else should be subjected to either of them. There’s no hope of them bringing out the best in each other. Instead they encourage their worst impulses, behaviours, and actions, such as stealing clothes at an open house. While most rom-coms fail to or refuse to interact with their characters’ consequences in an authentic way, Gretchen and Jimmy are continually confronted with the ramifications of their actions, whether that’s stealing cats or putting off telling your boyfriend that his dad is dead for an absurd amount of time. Gretchen and Jimmy subvert the idea that there’s a single right way to make love work, and that is what makes them so entertaining.

Best breakup song?

“Unfucktheworld” by Angel Olsen.

Arguably the most prominent song she’s written, Olsen’s haunting voice grieves a lost love. Her husky tones sound like an exposed nerve as she conveys a woundedness that feels decades older

with the good hair.

Favourite star-crossed lovers?

Katniss and Peeta of The Hunger Games.

Favourite messy celebrity breakup or celebrity love scandal?

Hannah Montana and that one boyfriend Jake.

He nibbled on another girl’s ear. NOT COOL, Jake.

Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional?

Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan of the Toronto Raptors.

Look it up.

Final remarks or comments.

The Strand IS the best of love in media.

than she was (Olsen was 27 at the time of the song’s release). As she leaves dreams of any rekindling behind, Olsen searches for healing, for the end to a past that clouds the present. “Unfucktheworld” isn’t a big ‘Fuck you’ to an ex, instead it expresses a feeling of “I’m forgetting about you and what we had, I’m busy focusing on myself.”

The lines “It’s not just me for you / I have to look out too / I have to save my life / I need some peace of mind” hit harder than some of my therapist’s advice.

Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional?

Lucy (Britney Spears), Kit (Zoe Saldana) and Mimi (Taryn Manning) from Crossroads.

This feel-good coming-of-age movie follows Lucy and her childhood best friends, Kit and Mimi, as they embark on a life-changing crosscountry road trip to LA in efforts to strengthen their bond after drifting apart in high school.

The (wrongfully) heavily criticized film tackles heavy topics like teen pregnancy, maternal abandonment, rape, physical abuse, and burgeoning sexuality. Written by Shonda Rhimes, the main characters are multidimensional, realistic, from diverse backgrounds, and look like normal teen girls. Despite the movie’s bubble-gum tone, Lucy, Kit, and Mimi are honestly some of the best representations of female friendship in media. These girls literally do anything and everything they possibly can to help, defend, support, amuse, and strengthen both each other and their friendship. The film and the friendships are so earnest, which is what makes it so important; there are no snarky remarks and these girls aren’t afraid to be corny and wholesome. Genuine and heartfelt friendships are what life is all about, baby!

ARTS AND CULTURE 13

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 FEBRUARY 2020

ANN MARIE ELPA CO-NEWS EDITOR

ERIC MCGARRY WEB EDITOR

KHADIJA ALAM CO-NEWS EDITOR

Best love song?

“Till There Was You” by The Beatles.

Best love song?

“Loving Is Easy” by Rex Orange County.

Best love song?

“Misty” by Ella Fitzgerald.

It makes the world seem like a better place.

It’s sweet, it’s simple, and it feels like a happy time in love! Romcom montage please!

The lyrics of this jazz standard can be interpreted in different ways (i.e. whether your lover is making you misty-eyed out of happiness or sadness), and Fitzgerald's take is my personal favourite because her voice just tugs at my heartstrings in such a way that resonates with me in times when I'm both falling in and out of love.

Best celebrity couple?

John Legend and Chrissy Teigen.

Lowkey want them to adopt me.

Best love triangle in a TV show, movie, or book?

Diane, Mr. Peanutbutter, and BoJack Horseman from BoJack Horseman.

Best couple in a TV show?

Ross and Rachel from Friends.

Best breakup song?

“Ugotme” by Omar Apollo.

I rooted for them throughout the entire series

Slow, suave, and sexy, this song makes you think about the one that got away. Even in the lyrics, Omar Apollo is struggling to comes to terms with the fact that he’s still hung up on a past love.

Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional? Best love triangle in a TV show, movie, or book?

Rory, Jess, and Dean from Gilmore Girls.

It’s just so hard to choose, ugh.

Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional?

John Mulaney and Nick Kroll.

They are so wonderful, and they do literally everything together. They’re honestly friendship goals.

ELLEN GRACE ASSOCIATE STRANDED EDITOR

Best love song?

A tie between “The Book of Love” by The Magnetic Fields and “My Favourite Book” by Stars.

The two most important things in the world are BOOKS and LOVE! Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional?

Sam and Tim in Detroiters.

An actually good representation of healthy male friendship devoid of the "no homo" vibe.

Favourite breakup movie?

(500) Days of Summer.

TIAN REN CHU ASSOCIATE SCIENCE EDITOR

Favourite friendship, celebrity or fictional?

Saoirse Ronan and Timothée Chalamet (aka Jo March and Laurie!!! Or Lady Bird and her boyfriend).

They make a fantastic duo in movies, and they've got each other's backs in real life! But deep down, I really wish Jo and Laurie's friendship had evolved into something more...

Best love story or couple in a TV show?

Chidi Anagonye and Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place.

While the show has stated that soulmates don't exist, Chidi and Eleanor's relationship proves otherwise: in every single reboot of their afterlives, they end up helping each other become better people— and isn't that what love is all about?

Best love story or couple in a movie?

Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) and Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds) from The Proposal.

As many flaws as this movie may have, Reynolds and Bullock’s chemistry is undeniable (and I lowkey really enjoy the whole enemies-to-lovers trope).

Best breakup song?

“All Too Well” by Taylor Swift.

I think this song is just a lyrical masterpiece; even though Swift writes about such specific details, I still find myself being able to relate to the story because of the overall emotions that those details evoke. I think it's the intimacy that Swift creates between herself and the listener through the lyrics that makes this song all the more heartbreaking.

Also, the bridge is ICONIC.

A review of Hart House’s Legally Blonde: The Musical PHOTO | COURTESY OF SCOTT GORMAN MEDIA

MARJAN MAHMOUDIAN contributor

There’s something truly special about the right combination of humour, heart, high-energy choreography, whimsical set-design, and a catchy score—and this is the exact combination Legally Blonde: The Musical so expertly delivers.

Based on the popular film, and directed by Saccha Dennis, Hart House’s production of Legally Blonde: The Musical follows everyone’s favourite blonde, Elle Woods, as she navigates love, life, and law school following a heartbreak that leads her to Harvard. This journey, however, is not experienced alone, and the charm of this

production lies within the abilities of its excellent cast to bring these loveable characters to life.

Emma Sangalli is a phenomenal Elle; from beginning to end, the audience is rooting for her success and genuinely feeling her kindness, frustration, and determination to be more than just a label. Another show-stopping performance is brought by Moulan Bourke’s Paulette Bonafonte, who delighted the audience with her killer vocals and many moments of comedic relief. Amy Holden also stunned the audience with her portrayal of Brooke Windham, even earning a standing-ovation for flawlessly belting “Whipped into Shape” while simultaneously executing an intense jump-rope routine. Though

these were highlights of the night, there was not a moment where each member of the cast did not shine in some way.

Especially as a student, it is truly special to encounter a musical that can make you feel both as though you’re escaping the rigour of academia and the ebbs and flows of growing up, whilst also inspiring you to face your passions head-on and live the life you were meant to unapologetically.

As the show wraps up with the heart-warming “Find My Way”, it leaves us with the message that “being true to yourself never goes out of style” and perhaps, in this way, we can all learn to follow Elle’s suit and believe in our potential despite what society pins against us.

14 STRANDED

EDITOR | MAX NISBETH STRANDED@THESTRAND.CA

Bad gifts to give your partner for Valentine’s Day: a word search emma lavin contributor

Searching for the perfect gift to give your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day? This guide is not for you! From Burwash fish (arguably the worst Burwash food; does anyone else remember those fish sticks on a hot dog bun sandwiches?), to the skull earrings that you used to pierce your own ears (looking at you, Dad), to the bubonic plague (the illness, not the band), to a pigeon (BY FAR the scariest bird), see if you can find my top ten things not to gift this Valentine’s Day! Find Me! Crabs Pigeon Bubonic Plague Roadkill Burwash Fish

Corn Mints Floss Baby Teeth Skull Earrings

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Yikes! This couple that only started dating two months ago just signed up for a Caffiends shift together This could get awkward leo morgenstern caffiends volunteer

illustration

| mia carnevale

talk to each other or even say the words “coffee That’s longer than they’ve been together.

This is the Victoria College equivalent of inviting beans” because it reminds them of their lost love, someone you just started seeing to your brother’s and their shift-mate has to do all the work. wedding in September.

It’s obnoxious Think about their poor shift-mate!

Okay fine, maybe they’re perfect for each other or No matter what happens, this sucks for their shift- something and they’re both extremely confident mate. Best case scenario: their shift-mate has to the relationship will last. But they still have to They know they still have to work the shift to- deal with them being “adorable” and in love and PRETEND they aren’t! Don’t they know the rules? gether if they break up, right? calling each other “my little coffee bean” all the You have to pretend you don’t like each other that A Caffiends shift is a three-month commitment. time. Worst case scenario: they break up, refuse to much to be cool!

Ah, Caffiends Cafe. Some might call it the heart of Victoria College. So, it makes sense that you’d want to work there with your sweetheart. But this couple? They just started dating. They probably haven’t even met each other’s parents yet! Here’s a list of reasons why they definitely shouldn’t work a Caffiends shift together.

STRANDED 15

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 REBRUARY 2020

A laundry list of conspiracy theories that haven’t “made it” yet: Valentine’s Day Edition skyler cheung conspiracy theorist

It is only human that we find a rationale to explain away the suspicious and/or undesirable elements of reality. Some people resort to philosophy to find answers to their qualms on their lovelessness. Other people like to put on their tin foil hats to surf the lesser-explored annals of the web to seek a community that can suggest categorically unpopular answers. I am both: this is the duality of man. Here is my grand ol’ laundry list of love/sex-related conspiracies, just in time for Valentine’s Day. - The sun baby of Teletubbies is actually the forgotten love child of Hillary Clinton and one of her interns.

- Monica Lewinsky was the Gerber baby.

- The songwriter we know as “Adele” is really a ghost of Rose: the one who perished on the Titanic with whomever Leonardo DiCaprio played.

They both perished.

- The G-spot was first founded by the Illuminati.

- Vaccinations make you get more super likes on Tinder.

- Female orgasms aren’t a real thing—the term was just a marketing buzzword manufactured by Cos- All those Mattress Firm stores are connected to mopolitan in the 90s. the tunnel El Chapo regularly used to meet his many lovers.

- Lubricant is just hand sanitizer.

doppelganger worked at the Condom Shack for a month before its tragic closure last year.

- Sex is a social practice invented to make human interaction more pleasurable and ultimately to distract from the angst and confusion characteristic of human existence.

- Margot Robbie is JonBenet Ramsey grown up. - Socrates found the condom in the process of - Babies are manufactured en masse in Mattress She is happily married now to filmmaker Tom imagining an ideal city where sex was to be abun- Firms and then delivered over Bluetooth to wombs.

Ackerley. They enjoy long walks on the beach and dant and enjoyed responsibly. bond over their love for pineapple in milk.

Keep your tinfoil hats on. Happy love season, ev- Socrates’ great-great-great-great-great-grandson’s erybody.

To all the classes I’ve loved before AST121: The Origin and Evolution of the Universe >>> Peter Kavinsky, change my mind You really do make me feel so special.

The vanillin in your recrystallization lab smells oh so sweet.

Dear BIO130, Drawing successful Newman Projections makes Genetics has always been a passion of mine. my heart skip a beat.

My heart flutters as single DNA strands intertwine.

From alkenes to ketones and everything in beReplication, transcription and translation, oh tween, my— Of all the chem courses, you take the crown — So much more intriguing than words could deyou’re the queen! scribe.

Lots of love, My passion for biology is encoded deep in my geYour Secret Admirer nome, So, thanks, BIO130, for teaching me all I need to Salutations, MAT136! know.

Derivatives and integrals make up xoxo, the heart of your course.

Your Secret Admirer To solve them, computation and pereden prosser editorial assistant

To the lovely CHM136…

When I prep for tutorials, drawing ethyls and methyls,

severance skills, you enforce.

The ACT’s tedious, but it’s not that much of a bore (Though searching through databas-

es is a bit of a chore!)

Though I may never again compute an integral without a calculator, At least I can proudly call myself an antiderivative-curator.

My love for you is infinite, Your Secret Admirer Sending all my love to AST121…

The universe was created by the Big Bang, it’s true, But there’s a supernova in my heart that’s exploding for you.

Oh, I’d travel to Venus, the planet of love, To share my enthusiasm for the stars up above.

So, keep expanding, red-shifting, oh, universe up there.

Shift red just like roses, symbols of the love I declare.

Love you to the moon and back, Your Secret Admirer

16 STRANDED

@STRANDPAPER THE STRAND | 11 REBRUARY 2020

I’m leaving you for a garbage bag full of pictures of pregnant Harry Styles I’m so sorry

To my GF, I love you. I do. But it is undeniable that we’ve been growing apart lately. I’ve started to forget why we got together in the first place. When I try and remember the good times we’ve had, I look back and see a whole different me in those memories. I feel like I’ve become alien to the person I was and who I thought you were when we first fell in love. We were so full of optimism and we were so in love with the idea of each other. But I feel I’ve lost myself in that idea. The me who worked for us and the me that I am lost each other along the way. And I didn’t—I couldn’t—realize this until I met someone who saw me for who I am.

As you know, there was a fire in the apartment building across the street last week.

Somehow, in all the commotion, a garbage bag full of 209 5x7 prints of pregnant Harry Styles was left sitting open on my lawn. At first I thought what any sane person would think: “Who the fuck made this picture, and why did they want 209 copies of it?” But as I went to dump the bag out, I couldn’t shake the thought of his charming sexy-boy smile. I felt so alone then. I wanted his tatted maternal arms to hold me. I wanted to roll up in a ball and climb into his womb and feel safe knowing that I would be born to a very wealthy and very sexy papa.

I’m writing you to say I’m sorry, but I’m leaving you for my 209 pregnant Harry Styleses. I know it doesn’t make sense, but does it have to? There are no lies in our love. I will always know that he is exactly as he seems, because he’s just a garbage bag full of gloss-laminated pictures.

I’ve already told my parents and they approve. I know this may be hard for you, but please don’t try and stand in the way of our love.

I wish you well in all your future romance, Norbert Remy Thistle

photo

| @mashtonnouis

Your own picture of Pregnant Harry Styles so that you can print 209 5x7 pictures out and fill a bag with them too!