The Student 22/11/2011 by The Student

Tuesday November 22 2011 | Week 10

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C U LT U R E

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S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T u d ent N ews pa p er

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010

End in sight for study space shortage

University introduces short term solutions to lack of space in the library whilst planning for the future Alasdair Drennan EXTRA STUDY space will be made available in the Central Area campus before the winter exam diet this year in a response to growing pressure from students. Almost 500 students ‘liked’ a Facebook page entitled ‘Find more study space at Edinburgh University’, calling for the university to address the growing need for study space. The redevelopment of the library has meant that the fourth floor of the building is currently closed, while half of the third floor is now taken up by the Counselling, Disability and Careers Services.

In an open letter to library users, Sheila Cannell, Director of Library Services, responded to student concerns, admitting that the library had been very popular this semester and that there had been problems with the availability of space to work. The letter, which is displayed in the library, outlined the measures being taken to create more space before the fourth floor of the library is reopened in March next year. Extra desks have already been placed in the library and ‘student helpers’ have been employed to assist library users in finding free space. Students have been encouraged to submit their own suggestions directly to Cannell. From December 5 quiet study space will be made available by the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) in Teviot and the university will open rooms in David Hume Tower. Study space maps will also be distributed to students to assist them in

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[Changes] would not have been possible without the hundreds of people who put pressure on the university." Hugh Murdoch, EUSA Academic Services Convenor

finding the new study spaces. However, this will not address the obvious issues of the shortage of study space at the university in the long term. The University of Edinburgh has never before taken a strategic approach to planning study space for the future. An open meeting will take place on Wednesday November 23 between senior university staff and students to discuss what future study space

Alexandra Taylor

Emily Jarrett

OVERCROWDED: Use of the library has been busier than ever this semester.

Student community shaken by Meadows sexual assault

requirements will be and how these can be accommodated. Short term solutions to the problems will also be discussed at the meeting. Hugh Murdoch, third year politics student and EUSA Academic Services Convener, welcomed the opportunity to meet with university staff to address the study space problems. He told The Student, “For the first time ever the university will be taking a strategic approach to study space. This would not have been possible without the hundreds of people who put pressure on the university. “We’ll be continuing to use the Facebook group and we’ll also be hosting open meetings with senior university staff for students to input directly into the strategic plan. “I’d encourage any student who has ideas about study space to come along to these meetings.” The first open meeting between students and staff will take place Wednesday November 23 in the Teviot Balcony Room at 10:30.

POLICE ARE appealing for witnesses after a 19 year old woman was attacked in the Meadows last week. The victim was walking through the park at 3:30am on Tuesday 15, when she was grabbed by two men and sexually assaulted in a grassy spot near Melville Drive. The men both described as white, in their 20s, of an average build and wearing hooded tops, fled the scene after the attack, running towards Bruntsfield Road. Sections of the park were cordoned off on Wednesday morning so the police could carry out a forensic investigation. A police spokesman said, “Although we know that the assault took place in the Meadows, we are still working to establish exactly where it happened, and we are appealing for any information that can assist our inquiries.” “Anyone who was in the area of the Meadows or Bruntsfield Links in the early hours of yesterday morning, who saw or heard anything suspicious, should contact police immediately.” “Similarly, anyone who saw two men matching the descriptions of the suspects in either the Meadows or Bruntsfield Links areas should also get in touch. “At this time we have put in place extra patrols in the Meadows area overnight in order to provide reassurance to the public.” The attack has shocked students at the university, especially those living on the south side of the Meadows, who cross the park each day to get to campus. Thea Graham, fourth year linguistics student said, “I get scared when I have to walk through the Meadows late at night because the path is always so dark and people can easily hide behind tree trunks.

Continued on page four»

INSIDE: Fees protests move north of the border p5 Scientists develop invisibility cloak p6

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

NEWS >>p2-7

BATTLE OF THE WITS p3 Sam Bradley on the University Challenge tryouts SLIM PICKINGS p4 Alasdair Drennan reports on youth unemployment rates RIGHT TO EDUCATION WEEK p7 University of Edinburgh's Students for Justice in Palestine society host week-long awareness-raising campaign

comment >>p8-9

DISSATISFACTORY RESPONSE p8 Nick Dowson criticises government responses to Occupy the London Stock Exchange

Uni fees discount for top school students

English university to offer £1,000 fee waiver to students who do well in their school exams Marianne MacRae

STUDENTS HOPING to attend the University of Worcester next year could enjoy a cut of up to £1000 in their fees if they achieve top results at A-Level. Amidst growing contention over the rising fees faced by students across the country, Worcester is offering a £1000 first year fee waiver to students who attain grades of at least AAB. The university announced on their website in April their plan to

charge students £8100 per year in tuition fees, just £900 less than the University of Edinburgh, which will charge the maximum £9000 per year as of September 2012. According to The Guardian league table, the University of Worcester is ranked at 105, with the University of Edinburgh placed almost one hundred places above. While the offer of a £1000 fee waiver is an enticing incentive, it is not known whether this is enough of a draw for students attaining top A-Level results to choose Worcester over other institutions. When asked, University of Edinburgh student Mika Pakka, 24, said that the proposal seemed, “a little pointless” in the face of such high fees, though the reduction would go some way towards easing “the worry of debt” faced by prospective students and he would “gladly take” a similar offer from the University of Edin-

burgh. Applications to Worcester have seen a steady increase over the last seven years, with a ten per cent rise in applications this year alone. Until now full time home and EU students have been expected to pay £3375 per annum for their tuition. In addition to the proposed waiver, the University of Worcester will also be able to offer up to 100 £1000 scholarships for students who continue to excel academically during their first year of study. This announcement came in June, following a donation from local businessman and university fellow, Clive Richards. Despite being one of the 27 universities seeking a change in the government’s proposals regarding student place numbers next year, vice-chancellor David Green has made it clear this will not affect proposed tuition charges.

GOOD FOR SOMETHING p9 Tess Malone discusses the entrepreneurial value of hipsters

FEATURES >>p11-13 VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY? p11 Melissa Geere investigates whether travel agencies are worth your extra pennies A FAREWELL TO ARTS p13 John Hewitt Jones on the arts funding cuts

Reviews >>p20-26

APOCALYPTIC EDINBURGH p20 Michael Mackenzie visits armageddon-inspired artist Peter Standen Portobello home HOW TO MAKE A FILM p23 Ali Quaile talks to Black Pond directors Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe ST VINCENT IN GLASGOW p24 A live review of the band (and the too cool for school crowd) in Glasgow's Stereo

Sport >>p27-28 PROFIT BEFORE PEOPLE p27 Chris Waugh questions Manchester City's economic ethics

MAKING THE GRADE: Shame the answer to question 16 was 'C'

Leo Michelmore THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has announced that it will be providing graduates with a more detailed record of their extra curricular achievements at university. The Higher Education Achievement Report, or HEAR, will be given to all students graduating from 2012 onwards in addition to their degree classification, and aims to give students and employers a more detailed record of achievement than just the grade on a degree. The move comes as a result of growing concern that the current degree classification system is failing to adequately represent the whole spectrum of what students achieve while at university. The certificate will contain more detailed information about a student’s degree than is currently provided, including marks achieved for individual modules and any academic prizes that have been won. It will also show any positions held

in societies or sports clubs, as well as whether the student has been a class representative at any point. Professor Burgess, Chairman of the Burgess Group, the committee recommending the introduction of HEAR, insisted that it was a significant improvement on the traditional degree classification system. He said, “The UK honours degree is a robust and highly-valued qualification but the honours degree classification system is no longer fit for purpose. It cannot describe, and therefore does not do full justice to, the range of knowledge, skills, experience and attributes of a graduate in the 21st century. “We have always sought to do justice to the achievement of students and improve the way in which universities demonstrate the wide range of their achievements.” In the future, the Burgess Group hopes that the HEAR will come to replace the traditional degree classification system entirely. A report published by the group said, “The benefits in terms of the richness of the information [the HEAR]

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Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

News 3

£200,000 set aside by the Scottish Government to boost number of students studying abroad Zoe Blah

The Scottish Government is setting aside £200,000 in order to encourage students to study abroad. The fund will be given to NUS Scotland, who will invest it in various schemes in order to improve and establish links and contacts between universities all over the world. It is hoped that this will encourage Scottish student mobility, after criticisms that fewer students from the UK and especially Scotland were

studying abroad, compared to the rest of Europe. According to data compiled by the British Council, in 2009/10 the number of UK Erasmus students rose slightly to 11,723. This places the UK sixth in the overall number of students who have gone abroad to study or take part in work placements. However, the Scottish Government is worried that Scottish students are not taking full advantage of the service. In 2010/11, 2,131 students from Scotland studied abroad as part of the Erasmus scheme. Daniel Swain, a second year student at the university, is currently applying to study abroad next year. He said, “I think it will be interesting to experience a different education system and culture. I don’t know why more students don’t decide to spend a year abroad”. He also added that he felt the biggest factor that discourages students in applying is the cost. According to the NUS Student Experience Report, studying abroad

is beneficial for students as it gives them greater confidence and improved employment prospects. It is hoped that this money will encourage more students to spend time studying in other countries.

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More Scottish students studying abroad can only help benefit our university and promote Scotland” Michael Russell, Education Secretary Max Johnson, a fourth year student at the University of Edinburgh, spent his third year in U.C. Berkley. “It was a fantastic experience”, he told The Student, “I’ve made valuable contacts all over the world”. The Education Secretary Michael

Russell has said that the scheme may include bursaries for students wanting to travel abroad, and added that “more Scottish students studying abroad can only help benefit our university and promote Scotland as a modern, dynamic and creative country”. This fund is part of the 2011 Year of Mobility, which aims to increase the number of students taking advantage of study-abroad schemes in a wide variety of educational institutions. The scheme relies on positive links between universities in order to offer students the widest variety of choice possible. It is hoped that this will help the European Higher Education Area meet its target that 20per cent of students graduating in 2020 should have studied or trained abroad. Robin Parker, head of NUS Scotland, said that “Scotland welcomes double the number of students from outside of the UK than we send to other countries and we hope the Year of Mobility can help to address this.”

Let the games begin: tryouts start for University Challenge 2012 Six possible candidates picked after gruelling test to try and win first ever title for Edinburgh Sam Bradley AUDITIONS HAVE taken place to select the members of this year’s team from the University of Edinburgh for University Challenge. For all the many accolades Edinburgh University has garnered over the years, there is an obvious hole in the trophy cabinet. Sure - the institution regularly makes it into the top twenty universities in the world, and it’s got its fair share of illustrious alumni - but it’s never won University Challenge. Last week in the George Square Lecture Theatre, this year’s hopefuls

braved the sixty-question written selection test. Given forty minutes, candidates for the team had to answer questions on subjects as diverse as literature, science, ancient history, and maths to have a chance of making it into the four-person team or be included in the reserve. Teams of four compete in the competition, and usually take a reserve member in case one player has to drop out. Although the team has not yet been picked, a shortlist of six students has been chosen from the test results, including students from the school of philosophy, psychology and language sciences; the school of physics and the school of chemistry, and the school of history, classics and archaeology. The highest scoring contestant notched up 32 points out of 60. A playoff will be held on Wednesday to decide the final team. Nick Myatt, one of the six qualifiers, told The Student that “I am a big fan of the show, and so I am excited (and genuinely surprised) to have placed amongst the

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I'm a big fan of the show, and I am excited (and genuinely surprised) to have been placed amongst the candidates. I look forward to meeting the others and finding out if I make the team on Wednesday”

Nick Myatt, University Challenge contender candidates. I look forward to meeting the others and finding out if I make the team on Wednesday.” The president of Edinburgh University Students' Association, Matt McPherson, told The Student: "I’m delighted that so many tried out for University Challenge this year. I had a look over the trial paper, and it didn’t

take long for me to realise why I hadn’t entered. “�� I have a tremendous amount of respect for all the students who gave it a go, and I’m confident that Edinburgh’s team will do the university and all of us at EUSA very proud.” Filming for the forty-first series of the program, which has been hosted by Jeremy Paxman since 1994, is scheduled to begin in the spring of 2012. Shooting will take place at Granada Studios, Manchester. Despite never having taken the competition, the University of Edinburgh hold the current record for the most qualifications into the competition. The two universities that have emerged victorious on the program the most are Oxford, and then Cambridge. The Student tried its best to get in to the team, but only managed an embarrassing score of 11 out 60 – and our reporter’s dreams of meeting Paxman were dashed on the rocks of intellect.

Are you a university challenger or just universally challenged? Have a go at six Paxman-grade questions that stumped The Student's team...

1) Proto Indo-European

6) What subfield of physics deals with plasmas, such as those in fusion reactors and interplanetary space, and more generally with the interactions between a conducting fluid and a magnetic field?

2) Measure for Measure

5) What word, from the Latin meaning a case or chest for books or papers, is given to a holy or sacred place that is dedicated to a specific deity or saint, and often becomes a place of pilgrimage?

3) Chihuahua

4) Which country saw the Orange Revolution of 2004, in which protesters successfully challenged a presidential run-off election that had given victory to the pro-Russian Prime Minister, Viktor Yanukovych?

4) Ukraine

3) A taco terrier is a cross between a toy fox terrier and which other breed of dog, originating in a country of Latin America?

5) Shrine (Latin: scrinium).

2) Which of Shakespeare’s plays is the only one to be set in Vienna and concerns the city’s Duke adopting a disguise in order to observe the actions of his subjects, including his deputy Angelo?

6) Magnetohydrodynamics (accept hydromagnetics)

1) An unattested language from which a group of attested languages, in this case those of the Germanic, Slavic, Romance and other families, are thought to be historically derived, for what do the letters P.I.E. stand?

Brief

Scottish government to fund overseas study in partnership with NUS scheme

New exhibition at Talbot Rice gallery AN EXHIBITION at the University’s Talbot Rice Gallery this season features works from artists such as Karla Black and Yoko Ono. Their and other artists’ work has been selected for the Beholder exhibition, which aims to spark discussion over the meaning of beauty with its diverse range of works and a series of open lectures and debates. Taking its name from the maxim ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, the exhibition comprises works from a great variety of artists and disciplines, all of which have been nominated by academics, artists and gallery-owners from Edinburgh and Glasgow. The exhibition continues until mid-February. JA

Cable fears interference

BUSINESS SECRETARY Vince Cable has expressed concern at reports that some universities may be trying to block FE colleges from offering degrees at lower prices. Almost 200,000 students across the UK study at degree level programmes at FE colleges in partnership with local universities, who validate the courses through a franchise system. Reports suggest that universities might revoke such a system to effectively maintain control over their local higher education market. The colleges and universities involved have not been named. LM

Strathclyde opens overseas campus in India

THE UNIVERSITY of Strathclyde has opened its first overseas campus in greater Noida, near Delhi in India with Scottish Education Secretary Mike Russell in attendance. As an extension of the University of Strathclyde’s Business School, the campus will offer undergraduate, postgraduate and MBA courses. The University of Strathclyde’s Principal, Professor Jim McDonald said “The new Delhi campus will widen access and give more Indian students the chance to study for a high quality degree with Strathclyde Business School without relocating to the UK.” LB

Edinburgh students chaste

THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh students, it has been revealed, are relatively restrained in comparison to other institutions across the UK. In a set of surveys on students’ alcohol intake and sex lives conducted by the website studentbeans.com, Edinburgh students were found, on average, to consume only 17.2 units of alcohol in an average week, and to have had 4.8 sexual partners. Students from the University of Glamorgan, Leeds Metropolitan University and the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff, all appeared in the top five places in both surveys. LB

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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Alasdair Drennan UNEMPLOYMENT LEVELS among young people are at a record high, according to figures released by the Office of National Statistics. The Office of National Statistics released current unemployment numbers for 16 to 24 year olds at 1.02 million, a record high. A National Union of Students (NUS) spokesperson referred to the figures as “shocking”, and stated that the ministers responsible for ending the education maintenance allowance (EMA) have attacked the life chances of young people. NUS President Robin Parker called the change “disturbing”, commenting on the problems that could potentially be caused by it. “�� If we are to avoid condemning a generation to the dole queue, we must give school leavers and other young people the opportunities they need to find work, receive training or get an education. He mentioned the importance of the Scottish Government’s role in protecting higher education, saying, “If young people are going to have education opportunities, colleges need to be sus>> From front page “Sometimes the lights you’re walking under just turn off unexpectedly. The council should really invest in more lighting.” Emma Meehan, Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) Vice President Societies and Activities, told The Student, “Edinburgh is typically a very safe city and we do not want students to live in fear, however, as with all busy cities it is worth taking into consideration some safety tips.” The EUSA Advice Place also recommended, “Students should not walk home alone late at night, particularly when you have been drinking and your judgment about what or who is safe, might be impaired. “Whenever possible, if you are going to walk home, go with friends. If you do have to walk alone be alert, walk confidently and avoid carrying all your possessions in one bag. “Stick to well-lit roads, plan your journey before you leave and don’t walk with your headphones in.” They added, “Instincts exist for a reason so if a person or situation is making you feel unsafe be assertive and remove yourself. “If you are assaulted or are unsure about something that has happened the Advice Place will always advise you to report it to the police, they offer a remote reporting service where you can report incidents if you are uncomfortable going to the police directly and they also have lots of information on the support available.”

tainably funded so they can deliver the Government’s places guarantee.”

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If we are to avoid condeming a generation to the dole queue, we must give school leavers and other young people the opportunities they need to find work, recieve training or get an education ... if young people are going to have education opportunities, colleges need to be sustainably funded so they can deliver the government's places guarantee” Robin Parker, NUS President

Responding to this criticism, General Secretary of the University and College Union (UCU) Sally Hunt said, “Youth unemployment hits one million at a time when young people’s access to education is being restricted. It’s a very serious problem and we take it very seriously”

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Have your say

NUS and UCU unleash criticism as number of outof-work 16-24 year olds skyrockets

Business Secretary Vince Cable stated that the issue was being taken “very seriously”. He elaborated further, saying that “In order to help young people we need to be bringing in policies that encourage them to get on, not erecting financial barriers to education. “Aside from the financial cost of consigning hundreds of thousands of people to the dole queue, we risk producing a generation with few prospects and little chance to alter their situation.” Parker demanded that something be done to correct the situation and prevent anything further arising from it. “Last year’s cuts to college budgets have already had a big impact and now the Scottish Government are proposing further huge cuts to budgets over the coming years. After proposing these cuts, the Scottish Government must now ensure that colleges have the funding to maintain places for young people in Scotland. Scotland’s economy depends on it, and so does Scotland’s future.” NUS Vice President Toni Pearce developed on Parker’s point, saying “It’s clear that there is a crisis in youth unemployment and that the Government needs to take concrete action immediately.” Pearce recommended a number of changes including creating more apprenticeships, bringing back the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA) and supporting teenage parents through Care-to-Learn help. Parker warned, “It is not enough to simply tell young people to wait until things improve as they watch their futures slip away.”

FUSION JAZZ: Busking may be the career you never considered

Are you confident about your job prospects post-graduation? Simone Chan, 3rd year, economics “I’m 50/50. The job market these days is not that good, so it will be hard to find a job. However, even though I am not sure what I want to do yet, I am confident an economics degree will give me more options. I do think though that no matter what subject you graduate with you can find a job if you are good enough.” Catherine Gallagher, 4th year, geology “I am quite confident about getting a job because sectors related to my degree like the oil industry are not doing as badly as everyone else in the current economic climate. I had internship over summer and I feel this will also boost my job prospects. Most of the related job opportunities are abroad though, unless you decide to go up to Aberdeen and most jobs do need a masters.” Chris Gayne, 2nd year, film and television “I’m not very confident. It is a hard industry to get into, but hopefully if I try hard I will get a job. I’m thinking of being a sound recorder, because there is definitely money in that, but ultimately I would like to make my own films.” Brendan Loughnane, 1st year, philosophy and politics “I don’t know what I want to do when I leave, but I’m not massively confident about my job prospects. I’m just going to try and do as well as I can in my studies and hope that it leads to something good. A few of my friends have said they aren’t that confident in the current economic climate. I think that those who do something more vocational possibly have better job prospects.”

IJOHNSEB

Youth unemployment hits record levels

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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Thursday November 24

Royal Norwegian Advent Concert 19:00 St Giles Cathedral, Royal Mile Edinburgh University Chamber Choir will perform in the annual concert as part of Edinburgh’s winter festival. Entry is free and the event is usually very busy so early arrival is essential. euchamberchoir@hotmail.com

Saturday November 26 Edinburgh University Chamber Choir Concert 20:00 Canongate Kirk, Canongate This concert will feature early music, such as Allegri, Palestrina and Hildegard von Bingen as well as very recent compositions. Full price tickets are £8 and concessions are £5. euchamberchoir@hotmail.com

Sunday November 27 Nightline Awareness Clothes Swap 12:00-16:00 Teviot Underground £1.50 entry. Bring and swap as many items as you want for free or pay £1 for each item. nightline@ed.ac.uk

Tuesday November 29 Talk: “Consumer Votes: An effective mechanism for change” 19:00-21:00 Faculty Room North, David Hume Tower International Development Society will host Dr. Deirdre Shaw for her talk addressing aspects of ethical consumption and their possible effectiveness. euidsoc@gmail.com

Wednesday November 30 International St Andrew’s Day Ball 19:00 Dynamic Earth, Holyrood Road Celebrate St Andrew’s Day with a three-course meal, wine, ceilidh, afterparty and more in a unique location. Tickets on sale in Potterrow 13:00-14:00 Mon-Fri. exchange-360@live.com History Society Winter Ball Afterparty 22:00-03:00 The Jam House, Queen Street Tickets to the Winter Ball have sold out but the afterparty will include a live ceilidh band, a DJ and a drinks voucher. Open to all and tickets can be purchased on the door. historysociety@hotmail.co.uk

Thursday December 1 Dance Music Society free party 22:00-02:00 Teviot Loft Bar Free party spinning house and disco on the rooftop balcony. dancemusic@ed.ac.uk If you would like to list an event in this section please email news@studentnewspaper.org with full details the week before the event.

Alasdair Drennan

STUDENTS FROM universities across Scotland will march on the capital on Wednesday to protest against £9,000 tuition fees for rest-of-UK (RUK) students in Scotland. The increase in tuition fees to a maximum of £9,000 for students across the UK will also be highlighted on the day. The demonstration coincides with a national day of action to defend education organised by the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts (NCAFC). The Facebook page for the event says, “It has been a year since the UK Parliament raised fees for universities, against manifesto promises and against the will of the public. That decision was wrong in 2010, and it is still wrong today. “Now £9,000 fees are a reality in Scotland too, with Edinburgh University charging £36,000 for a four-year course, for RUK students, the highest in the UK. The Scottish Government has deregulated fees in Scotland to let this happen.” The march will begin at the Scottish Parliament and will finish at the Scotland Office - the office of the UK Parliament in Scotland - in the New Town. This demonstration takes place a week after thousands of students

PROTEST ROUTE: The demo will begin at the Scottish Parliament and end at the Scotland Office marched through London campaigning against the coalition government’s education policies. Protest organisers have stressed that this should be a peaceful protest. Police and stewards will be in place to ensure that the march progresses safely. Students are being bussed in from across the country to take part in the march. Charandeep Singh, President of the University of Strathclyde Students’ Association has confirmed to

The Student that University of Strathclyde students would be involved in Wednesday’s march. An organiser of the march, Edinburgh University Students' Association External Convenor and fourth year politics and social policy student Stuart Tooley told The Student,“On Wednesday we will be calling on the Scottish Government to reverse its decision on £9,000 fees for students from the rest of the UK. “The government and universities

Google/tele atlas

A guide to what's on in Edinburgh in the coming weeks.

Scottish students prepare to protest against £9000 fees on Edinburgh streets

entered into a gentlemen’s handshake on fees - it hasn’t even had Parliament’s approval. Now we have the most expensive fees in Europe.” The Student will be covering the march live on Wednesday. There will be live updates from @TheStudentPaper and our reporters @alasdairdrennan, @AnnaFeintuck and @sammbradley. Logging on to www.studentnewspaper. org will also provide full coverage of the day’s events on our live blog.

Dundee colleges and universities to remain autonomous Unpopular government suggestion to merge education institutions is rejected Leo Michelmore DUNDEE’S HIGHER education institutes have rejected government proposals of a potential merger. The University of Dundee, the University of Abertay Dundee, and Dundee College announced they had decided to remain autonomous, in a joint statement with the Scottish Funding Council released last week. The statement read, “Following a very open and positive discussion, Abertay University, Dundee University and Dundee College have agreed that they will remain autonomous and independent bodies, with distinctive missions, visions and values.” The universities also pledged to work towards, “closer collaboration that will enhance their contribution to achieving the Scottish Government’s aims and objectives for post-16 education across Scotland. “These discussions will look at how to align more closely the academic curricula of the three institutions … with the aim of maximizing opportunities for seamless learner progression from further education into higher education.” The statement follows a government suggestion in September, when the pro-

BRAND NEW: The new University of Abertay Dundee Library has won awards posals attracted widespread criticism amid fears of large-scale redundancies. Despite the rejection of a government proposal, Scottish Education Secretary Michael Russell was “delighted” with the news. He said, “I am delighted to see three institutions of such repute cementing their relationship in such a

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I am delighted to see three institutions of such repute cementing their relationship.” Michael Russell, Education Secretary

Yellow Book

Events

way that will improve the delivery of further and higher education locally, but also have a bearing on Scotland’s international reputation for excellence in education.” “This is precisely the kind of collaborative thinking that lies behind the Scottish government’s post-16 agenda.”

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Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

News 7

INVISIBILITY MIGHT be a pipedream for some, but recent findings from the University of St Andrews suggest this fantasy may become a reality. Last Thursday, Simon Horsley explained how this new research into light properties and metamaterials could be used to create an invisibility cloak. St Andrews hit the news in August when undergraduate student Janos Perczel determined that an “invisible sphere” might overcome the problems encountered by physicists attempting to create invisibility devices. In the past, researchers thought that to create an invisibility cloak, light rays would have to bend around the “invisible” object, which would require light to move faster than it would in a vacuum (superluminal speed). Janos Perczel’s research showed that this was not necessary and by using an “optically dense” medium, light is slowed down, making the light rays outside faster in relative terms. However, most optically dense mediums are thick glass objects like those utilised in physics diffraction experiments. These are, unfortunately, themselves very visible. The invisibility sphere is a special optical lens which is invisible itself because all light rays enter and leave it in the same direction. This is combined with an invisibility cloak that requires superluminal speeds, and this creates an ‘invisible’ device - a product of optical illusion. This paper and current research into metamaterials may lead to “cloaking devices” sometime in the future. Janos Perczel told The Student, “Current research is mostly concerned about developing invisibility devices, i.e. box-like rigid objects that can make things invisible as opposed to a garment-like cloaks that can be moulded around your body. “However, recently, there have also been breakthroughs in the development of flexible metamaterials (di Falco et al.), which, in the long term, could be harnessed to design real cloaks. However, the time scale we are looking at is at the order of decades, since producing the metamaterials with the required electromagnetic properties for these cloaks is very difficult and time-consuming.�” Despite the long wait, some parties are very interested in investing in the invisibility research, though Perczel’s supervisor, Professor Ulf Leonhardt, revealed to The Student that ethics must also be taken into account when considering investors. “The military has a keen interest in invisibility, but I have always refused to take money from the military. I have had this opportunity, but I vowed never to do direct military research, in particular not for the US military and intelligence services, because I do not think that they are making the world safer, on the contrary. “The development of advanced military technology has given the US the illusion that some wars can be won and therefore waged, like the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, that, in reality, are unwinnable, with catastrophic consequences to the political and economic stability of the world. “I am not going to support this dangerous illusion with my work. The price I pay for a clear conscience is relative poverty, but this is a price I am willing to pay.”

Hannah Street

THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh last week played host to Right to Education Week, a programme of informative events organised by Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP). Spanning five days, the programme aimed to promote awareness of Israeli-Palestinian tensions and encourage students at the university to unite in support for those suffering as a result of human rights violations. The itinerary for the week included an introductory workshop for those with no prior knowledge of Arab-Israeli relations, in which attendees were encouraged to ask questions and voice their opinions. A mid-week video conference with Birzeit University on the West Bank allowed around 25 Edinburgh students to engage in a dialogue with their Palestinian peers, providing those who had attended the ‘Beginner’s Guide’ with fresh perspectives on what they had learned the previous evening. On Thursday, students gathered at Appleton Tower to hear the experiences of Palestinians studying at the University of Edinburgh. Each speaker outlined very different perspectives on everyday life in Israel and Palestine. However, common themes included personal identity and the importance of education. Politics student Zayne Abudagga gave an account of his experiences living in occupied Palestine territories, adding, “You get used to things that no human being should go through.”

STUDENT LIFE: Some Palestinian students have to cross checkpoints in order to get to class Event organiser Liam O’Hare told The Student, “It’s a week to highlight the restrictions on education in Palestine, but to also promote awareness of wider issues and show support for refugees.

“As students, it’s very important that we show solidarity with fellow Palestinian students who, for example, may struggle to get to university because of checkpoints.” SJP are hosting an evening of live

FLICKR: PALFEST

Nina Seale

Students for Justice in Palestine hosts Right to Education Week with Birzeit University

music to raise funds for Birzeit University’s Right to Education campaign at The Wee Red Bar on Thursday November 24, with food being provided by the Mosque Kitchen.

Pro-Palestine campaign divides opinion among University of Edinburgh students Leo Michaelmore

PRO-PALESTINe PROTESTS campaigning against the Scottish Government’s funding of an Israeli water supplier have divided opinion among the student body. Liam O’Hare, President of the Students for Justice in Palestine Society, declared his support for the protests to The Student. He said, “We completely support the attempts to highlight the complicity of companies like Eden Springs in Israeli occupation.

“

It is hard for me to fathom why there is so much emphasis placed on Israel in student politics [rather than] Iran." Mark Loughbridge, President , Edinburgh University Jewish Society

“Eden Springs has been one of the largest targets … of the campaign for Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions”.

DIVISIVE: The Scottish Government's stance on Eden Springs has caused debate Sale of Eden Springs water in EUSA shops has been banned since 2009, and O’Hare was supportive of the attention the Palestinian cause has been getting from University of Edinburgh students. He said, “it’s heartening that an increasing number of students are standing up for justice in Palestine and questioning companies involved in the continued oppression of the Palestinian people.” Mark Loughbridge, President of the Jewish Society, told The Student how he found the protests “particularly interesting”, but expressed his concern over the focus of student activists on Israel. He said, “It is hard for me to fathom

why there is so much emphasis placed on Israel in student politics whilst Iran, for example, and its routine persecution of homosexuals, and those of the Baha’i faith, is practically ignored. “I have always stated that we as a society are not the Israeli Society but the Jewish Society. “Though I believe that both sides are to blame in the conflict, and that both sides have done awful things to the other, the excessive focus on Israel troubles me.” Talking to The Student, a third year politics student at the University of Edinburgh went further in his criticism. He said, “University fees are going up, graduate employment’s down, there

KRISTINA JONUTYTE

St Andrews at the forefront of the quest for invisibility

are enough issues affecting students directly without trying to sort out the Middle East’s problems too.” “I just don’t know what we’re supposed to do about it ... why should we care?” A second year History student at the University of Edinburgh was more supportive of the protests. Speaking to The Student, she said, “Someone needs to make more noise about what’s going on over there. “I’ve always thought you should let people say what they want to say … [and] as long as it doesn’t piss people off too much then I don’t see a problem with it. “Debate’s always a good thing.”

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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�

Preoccupied with the status quo

“I have got this rather quaint view - you shouldn’t be able to erect tents all over the place”, David Cameron told a committee of MPs several weeks ago. “I think protesting is something you, on the whole, should do on two feet, rather than lying down – in some cases in a fairly comatose state.” Hammering further his disingenuous point about the Occupy the London Stock Exchange (OccupyLSX) protests, the PM continued: “The idea of establishing tents in the middle of our city, I don’t feel is particularly constructive. I don’t think it’s particularly constructive in Parliament Square and I don’t think it’s particularly constructive at St Paul’s.” Leaving aside the issue of the states’ current approach to protest ‘on two feet’, and the police response to recent protests, Cameron’s comments conveniently overlook the fact that Occupy protests are themselves a response to the political class’s failure to address either the financial crisis or the concerns of the public in any constructive way. The response of politicians to the crisis has almost universally been to preach austerity and the need for a more ‘efficient’ state. This position again conveniently overlooks both the reasons behind the crisis, which was a failure to adequately regulate financial markets, and the risk (or likelihood) that massive cuts to public spending will decrease demand, damage the economy and tax receipts and therefore fail at even cutting the deficit. The tunnel vision of there being no alternative - George Osborne’s “There is no plan B” - is not one shared by the public. Occupy, through its creativity and refusal to confine itself to what politi-

cians view as the acceptable, both with its tactics and its ideas, has taken the first steps in prising open public debate. It’s not enough - former Greek PM Papandreou has just been pushed out of office for daring to suggest that the Greek people might be given a say on the country’s bailout package - but it’s a necessary beginning. Like the responses of other politicians to Occupy, Cameron’s comments do not constructively engage with the protesters – they seek to exclude them from the political scene, because the alternative to excluding them would be opening up a real debate about the way forward for our society.

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A vibrant, free and democratic media should not be afraid to question the dominant political narrative." Labour and the Lib Dems, despite occasional posturing about the ‘nasty party’, have been part of this collusion. Having both, like the Tories, gone into the last election with promises of savage deficit reduction, and having joined in what the Economist called a “conspiracy of silence” where the three parties failed to “disclose the gory details of how and where they would swing the axe on spending”, they too are seeking to exclude the challenge of the “99%” from public debate. The Lib Dem’s Vince Cable spoke of how he sympathises with Occupy,

saying “I think it does reflect a feeling that a small number of people have done extraordinarily well in the crisis”, but refused to engage with any of its suggestions, saying “some of their recommendations aren’t terribly helpful, but that’s not the point.” Labour’s Ed Miliband attempted to jump on the Occupy bandwagon as he damned them with faint praise – writing about the challenge they presented to politics, while being scathing towards their “long list of diverse and often impractical proposals.” No doubt some proposals that have been floated at occupations across the globe have been impractical – as many proposals floated in all organisations, including political parties and even parliament, often are. But other proposals have been incredibly constructive – OccupyLSX’s recent decision to squat a disused UBS building, for example, makes a statement about some of the causes of homelessness – property inequalities – and also raises awareness of the UK government’s attempts to criminalize squatting. They have also raised awareness of the antiquated and undemocratic nature of the City of London Corporation – which unlike other local authorities, is opaque and gives businesses a vote. Part of OccupyLSX’s initial statement said “We want structural change towards authentic global equality. The world’s resources must go towards caring for people and the planet, not the military, corporate profits or the rich.” Politicians may disagree – but where our resources go should be up for debate, whether that’s about public spending on the military, or

Nebulous nukes

BETTY BUZZKILL: David Cameron has dismissed OccupyLSX as not 'constructive'.

the structure of our economy which allows extreme and increasing inequalities. One of Miliband’s comments was particularly telling though, when he said “the deeper issues raised by the current crisis are too important to be left shivering on the steps of St Paul’s. We cannot leave it to the protesters to lead this debate.”

He would say that, but we certainly can’t leave it to the politicians. A vibrant, free and democratic media should take unto itself the responsibility of questioning politicians when they seek to set the agenda of debate, and should not be afraid to question the dominant political narrative, or even to propose possible alternatives.

Joel Sharples interrogates who really started the Middle Eastern arms race and where Iran's place in it lies Over the last two weeks, Britain, America and Israel have been turning up the pressure on Iran over its alleged pursuit of nuclear weapons in a manner eerily reminiscent of the build-up to the Iraq War. Just two and a half years after Britain’s withdrawal from Iraq, it seems we have already forgotten the lessons that should be etched into our national consciousness. The Ministry of Defence’s release on November 2 of a contingency plan for an air and sea assault on Iran was swiftly followed by a new report by the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA). It claimed that Iran was working on an advanced nuclear warhead, prompting a resurgence of the debate over how best to deal with Iran’s nuclear ambitions. For anyone concerned about global peace and security, a nuclear-armed Iran would be highly undesirable. However, it is a practically inevitable consequence of the West’s belligerence in the region. As one of the only countries to regularly stand up to American interests in the Middle East, Iran is in

a spectacularly vulnerable position. It is now surrounded by bastions of American power in Israel, Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq as well as the six countries of the Gulf Cooperation Council. Both Israel and Pakistan have large nuclear arsenals and, unlike Iran, neither are signatories of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. In addition, the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan and the assisted overthrow of Muammar Gaddafi’s regime in Libya have simply reiterated to Iran the necessity of a nuclear deterrent. Gaddafi was persuaded to give up on his plans for a nuclear arsenal in 2003 and faced the consequences. A US military report to Congress in April 2010 was surprisingly candid in this regard. The report suggested that “Iran’s military strategy is designed to defend against external or ‘hard’ threats from the United States and Israel,” and that “its willingness to keep open the possibility of developing nuclear weapons is a central part of its deterrent strategy.” An Iranian nuclear arsenal would clearly be little more than

a deterrent to Western aggression.

“

Iran's pursuit of a nuclear deterrent can be seen as the consequence, not the cause, of a Middle Eastern arms race instigated primarily by the US." The debate over Iran’s nuclear ambitions also reveals many of the hypocrisies inherent in the foreign policies of Britain and the US. The idea that Iran cannot be trusted with a small nuclear deterrent is one of the greatest PR stunts of this century; Iran has only ever used its military in self-defence and its military spending is on a par with Poland’s. America, by contrast, has been waging foreign wars of aggression for two years

out of three since 1989. Who is more deserving of trust when it comes to a nuclear stockpile? Another oft-asserted argument is that a nuclear-armed Iran would spark an arms race in the region, a concern that has allowed the US to provide Israel with around $1.8 billion of military aid each year since 1987, rising to $2.4 billion in 2001. In fact, Iran’s pursuit of a nuclear deterrent can be seen as the consequence, not the cause, of a Middle Eastern arms race instigated primarily by the US. Of course I am not advocating the proliferation of nuclear weapons. However, in this case the alternatives could be far worse. A pre-emptive strike on Iran would certainly be illegal, as well as a violation of the UN charter and Security Council Resolution 1887 of September 2009 which calls on states to resolve disputes related to nuclear issues peacefully without recourse to threat or force. It would also be extremely difficult to pinpoint the weapons sites as the intense scrutiny of the IAEA means that

FLICKR: DFID - UK DEPARTMENT FOR INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Nick Dowson is disheartened by the response by the three main parties in Parliament to the Occupy the London Stock Exchange

any weapons-related nuclear activity is being carried on in secret. Any military intervention would almost certainly aim at regime change as a one-off bombing campaign would only delay the development of nuclear weapons. Iranian analysts, who are both supporters and opponents of Ahmadinejad’s regime, are unanimous in saying that a Western military campaign would only serve to unite the Iranian people behind the president. A long and extremely bloody war would probably follow which would throw the entire region into turmoil. Fortunately, this scenario is far from inevitable. Currently, there is no hard evidence of Iran actually possessing nuclear weapons and President Obama would be reluctant to initiate a costly new war during an election year. Nevertheless, the recent developments show that an escalation of the conflict might not be too far off. We must remember that any military intervention would be illegal, immoral and impractical, just as it was in Iraq.

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Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Comment 9

A reluctance to report on American politics may leave us surprised at the result of 2012's election, argues Joe Pilkington A year from now, the chaos will be over. Short of a judicial nightmare akin to post-election 2000, there will be a new President-elect of the United States. The smart money remains on that person being the sitting President, but Barack Obama cannot escape the dire economic numbers which are not in his favour at present.

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If the GOP is doomed anyway, then why spend time watching and covering the crap-shoot popularity contest of a floundering party?"

What is so curious about this election cycle is that we are only weeks away from the Iowa Caucuses, yet very little of the Republican primary contest has filtered through to news media outside the United States. This is perhaps refreshing given the wall-to-wall coverage we experienced in the 22 months following Barack Obama’s announcement of his candidacy in Springfield, Illinois in 2007. What are the reasons for this absence of updates on the perennial political merry-go-round from across the Atlantic? Perhaps we have enough news of our own to contend with. This is not necessarily surprising; the American media has led the way in this regard, tending to report only on stories on home ground. Visit the pages of any of the major American publications and the weighting of Herman Cain’s latest blunder in favour

FLICR: MATT ORTEGA

A muffled primary

of Italy’s teetering on the precipice of economic disaster is a little eye-watering. One could argue that our attention is best directed to European and British economic growth being feeble or nonexistent. The American media’s heavy focus on domestic stories to the exclusion of international affairs is perhaps also mirrored rather embarrassingly by the British thirst for tabloid-esque stories. The News International scandal continues to dominate the papers, and given the British people’s thirst for gossip, Jeremy Clarkson’s super-injunction soap opera will currently relegate Rick Perry’s gaffes to the middle pages of the broadsheets. Perhaps the British press see very little chance of a Republican nominee winning a general election. If the GOP is doomed anyway ("surely the Americans won’t be voting for a Santorum/

Cain/Gingrich/Bachmann...", we hear them say) then why spend time watching and covering the crap-shoot popularity contest of a floundering party? This is a naivety the press this side of the Atlantic should not entertain. By the example of Congressional leaders and the many of the presidential nominees, the Republican Party in the United States does indeed appear to be in the grip of an evangelical social conservatism that has many Europeans fearing the onset of a theocracy awaiting the Second Coming. Their successes in the recent past, however, cannot be overlooked. The GOP remains a legitimate competitor (just look at many predictions for the Congressional elections next year) and its ability to get out the vote among its base is not so offset by Democrat-leaning independents as one might imagine. Editors of British newspapers know all of this. This does not adequately explain the absence of coverage of a contest that usually entertains a British populace used to unpredictable elections and short, occasionally ineffective and frequently dull campaigns. Perhaps, then, we should be worried. Perhaps Europeans invested too many hopes in the Obama campaign machine and are not yet ready to accept the alltoo-possible chance that double-digit unemployment will mark the end of a presidency that many saw as a return by America to a political, almost ‘Clintonian’ sanity that we had become accustomed to in the 1990s. Maybe there is a chance that someone as socially dangerous as Michele Bachmann or as painfully hypocritical as Mitt Romney may be able to harvest 270 electoral votes from a weary, unemployed population. For many Europeans, America remains a popular nation. The Bush years are now regarded as an unfortunate anomaly; the ‘noughties’ were a decade where it became uncouth to admire or support America in Europe. For many, Barack Obama marked a return to normalcy in transatlantic attitudes. Perhaps 2012, and the current crop of GOP nominees, indicate that our hopes of a resumption of normality were themselves anomalous.

Ironic entrepreneurism

Tess Malone reveals the real guardian angels of the global economy: hipsters The saviour of the economy won’t be wearing a suit and dress shoes, but flannel, skinny jeans, and Converse. The trainers are more than just an emblem of the hipster culture that sports them. If the Converse name is taken literally, they also represent how that generation interacts with the world; conversation. Our generation has been deemed the Millennials (or Generation Y or the Echo-Boomers), a group that has been self-promoting since primary school. We are the gold-star generation, getting recognition for all of our achievements even if it is only we who acknowledge it. Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr are our lingua franca. We use them not only to comment on the latest micro-brew we’ve tried, but to micro-finance. We self-publish, drop out of university to become Mark Zuckerberg, and have turned small businesses into the new big business. Even Barack Obama agrees, “Everyone here knows that small businesses are where most new jobs begin.” We are the entrepreneurs. Slovenian philosopher, Slavoj Žižek, Marxian/Hegelian/Lacanian cultural critic and, most surprisingly, stand-up comedian, has deemed the entrepreneurs

as the symbolic class. This new class is made up of academics, PR people, managers and artists. They are emerging and unstable and just from their moniker, they will never have a place in the current economic structure. Therefore they must reinvent the economy.

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Entrepreneurship is not a degree yet, so how do we take advantage of it? Corny as it sounds, find your passion." This is not a reinvention of the wheel, more like finally removing the proverbial training-wheels. Currently, our generation is busy getting degrees in unemployment under the guise of the liberal arts. There are more than enough lawyers and teachers (the supposedly burgeoning job markets), but soon enough they will have no one to sue or educate if our generation cannot afford to pay for them. The new de rigueur de-

gree is in STEM programs, an acronym for science, technology, engineering and mathematics. However, recent studies proclaim that 40 per cent of students not only drop out of STEM programs, but university all together. Whether unemployment happens immediately or four years after undergraduate starts doesn’t really matter. Changing how we view drop-outs does though. The recent near-deification of Steve Jobs after his death has been promising for this. Almost as quickly as we learned of his passing, the YouTube video of his 2005 Stanford University commencement address circulated. In it, Jobs described how he dropped out of Reed College only to start “dropping in” on various classes like calligraphy, which he transposed to fonts later. In another fortuitous bout of failure, after Jobs was fired from Apple, he entered what he called one of his most creative periods, which resulted in the founding of Pixar and rehiring by Apple. “The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything.” Although Jobs was technically a failure, dropping out of university and losing his

job, he used it to pursue what he loved and thus this article is being written on one of his devices. However, Jobs is an extreme example. Evidently, he already possessed the skills that entrepreneurs need: creativity, networking, and most importantly an understanding of the value of failure. Not all of the Millennials have these characteristics, but with the current economy they will have to make do with failure and learn the rest. Entrepreneurship is not a degree yet, so how do we take advantage of it? First, as corny as it sounds, find your passion. This doesn’t mean find your degree, but find something you’d be inspired enough to do even if you weren’t paid for it, because chances are you’ll be proactive enough to find a way to make money off of it. Second, network. Last week was Global Entrepreneurship Week in the UK. Since 2004, the event has connected budding entrepreneurs with financiers and expanded to 104 countries. However, the principle of pursuing potential investors works all year round because they are always looking to discover the next big thing. Through these steps we could start to change the symbolic class into the real class.

Cleaning up the airwaves

NewsJack loves censorship. We like our airwaves clean and our newsprint as pure as the driven snow. In that spirit, we are wildly admiring of the Pakistani government, whose newest concern (in addition to obstinately continuing to fund the remnants of the Taliban scattered around the Afghan border) is the rude words that may be being transmitted from the 100 million mobile phones of the Pakistani populace. Working with local service providers, the Pakistani government hopes to prevent mobile phone users from sending some 1,500 banned words and phrases in both English and Urdu. The ingenuity of those compiling the list of undesirable words and phrases is truly to be admired; more than 50 potential uses of the word ‘fuck’ will be ruled out, as well as 33 for ‘cock’, 17 each for ‘tit’ and ‘butt’ and eight involving the word ‘foot’. Not content with regulating questionable constructions including parts of the human anatomy, the use of metaphor and euphemism will be aggressively tacked, with such shockers as ‘crotch rot’, ‘beat your meat’, ‘flogging the dolphin’ and ‘love pistol’ coming under the regulators’ eagle eye. The list is not at all authoritative quite yet, with scope for future additions in both English and Urdu as well as in minority languages such as Punjabi. This is, no bones about it, a fantastic and revolutionary idea. ‘Txtspk’ is already a blight to all of us who know the joy of a properly spelled and punctuated message. Combine that with a worrying tendency to send sauce and smut by text, and what you end up with is a mangling of morality as well as a lynching of language. Just think if we implemented this in the UK. Overnight we might see a revival of tea dances and whist drives in place of raves and allnight orgies. Pretty print dresses, bowler hats and shirtsleeves would be the outfits of choice - goodbye hoodies, denim belts and stripper heels. Crime would fall dramatically, everyone would have jobs and our economic growth would reach an all-time high. With an inability to transmit our filthiest thoughts, Brits would have nothing better to do than pull together as a nation and sort ourselves out. NewsJack highly recommends that we adopt such a programme at once! Our national reputation is at stake! And to all those that disagree, I say, ‘monkey crotch’!

Lewis Macdonald

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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10 Editorial

Editorial

The Student reveals this week's hidden news gems

Join us! The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators, photographers, and designers to join our team. We're also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams. No experience necessary! If you're interested, here’s how to track us down: » In person: Meetings every Tuesday in the Cabaret Bar, Pleasance at 1.15pm. Socials: Tuesdays in The Counting House at 8.30pm. » By email: editors@studentnewspaper.org » On Facebook: tinyurl.com/StudentFacebook » On Twitter: twitter.com/TheStudentPaper

Considering the fact that the front page of this week's paper features Edinburgh students studying in the library, you could be forgiven for assuming that there is little going on in the news this week. To that we say, AHA! Not so fast.

Disclaimer

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Editors Zoe Blah/Rebecca Chan

News Sam Bradley/Alasdair Drennan/Lewis MacDonald Comment Nick Dowson/Lewis MacDonald/Tess Malone Features Nina Bicket/Cameron Taylor Lifestyle Sophie Craik/Lilidh Kendrick Tech Tom Hasler Herring Max Johnson/Guy Rughani/Ben Scally Culture Thom Louis/ Michael Mackenzie Music Joshua Angrave/Anna Feintuck/Tom Kinney Film Kirsty Wareing/Ali Quaile TV Daniel Swain Commission Kathryn Lloyd Sport Davie Heaton/Chris Waugh Copy editors Melissa Geere/Carl O’Gorman/Liam Perera

Photo Editor Emily Jarrett Multimedia Luke Healey/Anna Feintuck Web editor Lewis Dunne Illustration Commissioner Cat O'Neil President Lewis Dunne Secretary Varvara Bashkirova Treasurer Helen Stride  Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ  editors@studentnewspaper.org

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by Lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian Newsprint (part of the CN Group), Carlisle Print Centre, Newspaper House, Dalston Road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Monday October 31 2011. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Both sensationalist and informative, the harvest has been good to us. And remember, this is just the cream of the chronicling crop. Who knows what next week will hold? Love, Zoe & Becky

The pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have now been fully initiated into their new home with their very own tartan. The main colours are black and white (representing the panda’s appearance). There’s also some red (representing their origins in China) and green (representing their favourite food – bamboo). As commendable an effort as this is, we can't help think it would have been quicker to just slip some whisky in their water.

Switzerland have fined two ramblers for taking a trip in the nip across the Alps. The ramblers in question strolled past a family picnic and were ordered to pay a £68 pound fine. Chris Lamb from Beckenham said “On a fine hot day in the hills it’s a glorious feeling to walk clothes-free for a while and experience the sun and the breeze on your whole body. Fortunately most seasoned walkers are not prudes and treat a naked fellow-walker with equanimity.” Becky Chan said “It's disgusting.”

German insurance firm Allianz has announced that it will be offering space travel policies from next year, coinciding with the launch (see what we did there?) of Virgin Galactic. The packages are pocket-money friendly, at a measly $10,000. This seems totally worth the comfort of knowing that your exploded remains will be repatriated to your home planet.

4 While cock-fighting and bear-baiting have been outlawed in the UK since 1835, we are delighted to announce that primary-school children are still free to rip each other to shreds in metal cages all across the country. Under our current legal system, this does not break any laws, except for one fight held at Greenlands Labour Club in Preston, which has had its knuckles rapped for housing children in the premises after 6pm. We're glad to see they have their priorities straight, in any case.

A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 15,000 University of Edinburgh students every week. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

So groundbreaking are this week's stories that we felt it more appropriate not to include them in the news section at all. This week's news has been galactic and patriotic. It has featured nippy nudes and cage-fighting children.

Letter to the Editors Dear Editors, Regarding the article Miss Ogynist? [The Student, November 15]; The article, whilst framed by the title ‘Miss Ogynist?’ and a picture demonstrating the criticisms of women’s bodies used in the 1959 Miss Universe contest (“shoulders too square, hips too wide” etc.) aims to present a balanced discussion of beauty pageants. What is problematic is the fact that the author states that feminist arguments against beauty pageants are ‘obvious’, yet fails to properly comprehend them. She states that 45% of the judging is now based on contestants’ personality and intelligence and that this year, 75% of the beauty queens were university graduates. Does she mean to imply that this somehow mitigates the fact that this is still a competition - a judgement - solely of women? Are we to forget that the prerequisite for these university graduates is that they must be ‘beautiful’? Following a description of what she

recognises as outdated rules for entering the Miss World competition, she encourages their critics to remember that these women enter themselves. However, the question is not whether to deny people the right to enter, but instead, what it is that makes them enter in the first place. The article fundamentally misunderstands the feminist argument. It is not the feminist’s cause to restrict the rights of men and women so that they behave in a way determined agreeable by the feminist. Instead, it is to provide equal freedom so that all may be who and however they choose. This emphasises the freedom to escape the judgement and harassment of others based on their appearance, which is why beauty pageants are deemed harmful. To grow up faced with Miss World competitions, the Rose of Tralee and the constant critique of women in the media, the young girl grows up with a deformed view of herself. She is no longer a person but either beautiful or ugly. That she may also be judged on her personality

and intelligence is not in favour of these competitions – it goes further to discredit them. It is certainly the case that these beauty pageants no longer have a major role in today’s society, and factor little in the lives of ordinary women. It is also the case that there are far greater battles for the feminist to be fighting and, as the author suggests, an outright ban of such pageants is not feasible. But this is far from her assertion that they are “essentially a bit of fun” and may even be beneficial. Whilst prejudice is pervasive in society it must be fought and criticised wherever it is encountered. Only in doing this might we be able to achieve a fundamental change in attitudes towards women. When we recognise that they are not simply creatures to be judged then we find women in all echelons of society – where they ought to be found. Sincerely, Kate O’Leary

Let's hear it!: features@studennewspaper.org

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

13 Features

Taken for a ride?

When researching holidays, most people’s first instinct is to get online, open about five tabs with different options, and immerse themselves in the excitement of the hunt. Twenty years ago however, the usual method would have been to go to a travel agency, pick up some brochures, take them home to feast over, and then return and let an agent do all the booking. Now that we have the internet, you wouldn’t be alone in wondering what a high street travel agency could possibly offer you. Why go to a middle-man when now you can go to operators directly, and even compare hundreds of quotes at once in the time it takes to do one quick Google? More than 75% of travellers now use the internet for at least part of their travel planning according to the Travel Industry of America. Meanwhile high street travel agencies have declined by more than a third in the last ten years. Traditionally, agencies made their profits by earning commission from the airlines, hotels and other operators whose service they were selling. Booking through an agency would cost the same as if clients had gone to the operator directly. Now though, airlines will not pay commission to agencies because they can bring in their own customers through their websites.

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Their main advantage is that they can put all the options in one place for you, and provide support and expertise throughout, even once you've gone abroad " The agencies that have survived have gone down one of three routes. Some have tried to get a monopoly on all remaining customers of a specialised niche market, like over-50s or unicycle enthusiasts. Others have switched to internet business models, focusing on bringing suppliers and consumers together in one place (just like Amazon Marketplace did with books). Those agencies still wanting to reap profits on the high street have gone for the third option: transition to a fee-based rather than commissionbased revenue model. A fee-based model is exactly what it sounds- the agency is no longer making its profit from the operators, it is directly charging you, the customer, for services rendered. This model relies on the fact that customers will be willing to pay for the value of informed personal advice, time and hassle re-

duction, and accessibility of options. Let us look at what you get for your money. STA Travel, the leading student travel agents, claim that their prices can be cheaper, even with fees, than going straight to an operator. This is because they buy tickets from operators in bulk at a discounted rate, and pass this discount on to customers. This is especially true for bigger adventures: they have a price beat guarantee on their Round the World flight tickets. They are also surety bonded, meaning that if your airline went bust and your hotel burned down, you would get a refund. Their main advantage is that they can put all the options in one place for you, and provide support and expertise throughout, even once you’ve gone abroad. Since they book trips all day every day, they are bound to know a few tricks you would have overlooked. Students without much experience organising their own travel can easily be daunted by the sheer numbers of organisations out there. So, if you’re willing to pay, you can avoid much of the stress, confusion and screw-ups that can characterise hours of solitary internet trawling. While the vast majority of people have positive experiences with their travel agents, it isn’t all planning fun in the sun. STA are not very transparent about their fees – they are already included in any prices quoted to you. This is fine if the price is reasonable, but if you like to know exactly what you are paying for, it can cause uneasiness and could likely put you off. Also travel agents, just like any other salespeople, are paid commission for what they sell. There is always the suspicion you are being sold a load of stuff you don’t need. Beware of getting ripped off; students face this risk in all areas of life: phone contracts, landlords…and travel agents are no exception. Determined to resolve this debate once and for all, I grabbed a partner in crime, charged into the STA Travel branch on Forrest Road, and asked for a romantic winter weekend break in Paris. Our agent was a friendly young man called Sam. I found him helpful, responsive and reassuring. Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite flexible enough. I stressed the importance of lowest possible prices for me and my hypothetical companion (I’m a diehard romantic like that). He expertly suggested I adjust my flight date from a Friday to a Thursday, thereby avoiding higher weekend prices. When I asked if there was any other option, he shrugged and explained that near Christmas, I wouldn’t get cheap flights. I prompted him: maybe I could try a bus? He didn’t know of any buses going to Paris. From previous internet-planned travel, I already knew Eurolines runs a low-cost bus service from Edinburgh to Paris and all over

HIGH-STREET TRAVEL AGENCY (IN BERLIN): No longer most Edinburgh students' first port of call Europe, specifically aimed at young people. Surely an agency specialising in students should be aware of this? Next we moved onto accommodation. STA offers three levels, ‘Stay Simple’, ‘Stay Smart’, and ‘Stay Stylish’. This is beautifully clear, another example of how agencies will take the confusion out of everything for you. On the other hand, collapsing prices into discrete categories blurs awareness of the price scale within these categories. Sam found us a lovely twostar hotel in a central location, and as he worked he chatted with us about what we wanted to get out of our trip, even asking his colleague to give us personal recommendations. We were advised to visit Montmartre. This was helpful, but nothing TripAdvisor or the Lonely Planet website couldn’t have told us. Finally, we asked about activities. He suggested a champagne cruise on the Seine. The rest of our days we left open for pâtisseries and being bohemian, which was something Sam couldn’t help us with (we all forgot the important matter of insurance: I followed this up by email and he got back to me with a quote on the same day). And so we sat dreamily while he totted up the figures, and gave us a final quote of £721.94, mysteriously £10 cheaper than the sum of his quotes for the individual parts. Either he worked some kind of overall discount, or he added up wrong. The consultation took about half an hour. Job done, simple. We left feeling well-supported and knowing he had all the information saved and was in touch via email. If we did decided to

go ahead with booking, we could either pay in one lump sum, or break the cost down into manageable chunks. Then the fun began. I went home, switched on my laptop and spent about forty-five minutes researching the trip myself. I got cheaper flights from the same airline. Easyjet was even cheaper still with a no baggage option (of course, it all depends on how many shoes are deemed necessary for a romantic weekend in Paris). The bus was only £79 per person but required a whole day and night travelling. The accommodation I found, also two-star, was not quite as central, but close to a metro station. I could not get a cheaper price than Sam for the exact hotel he’d found. The champagne cruise was easy to find with a Google search, and was offered for cheaper than Sam’s price. The insurance, giving basic cover

plus baggage and money protection, was also cheaper. Overall, I got the trip for £112.80 cheaper than STA offered. Now, I’m not claiming that the service and ease Sam provided was not worth paying for. But the question remains whether half an hour of his time is worth £112.80. For this trip at least, doing it myself was cheaper, more fun, and not that much more time-consuming. It may well be the case, however, that for epic round-the-world adventures, travel agencies are a better bet due to their price beat guarantee, ability to simplify matters, and knowledge of more far-flung places. The fact remains though, that if travel agencies want the student market, they will have to be a little more competitive with their prices, and a little more expert than your average, computer-literate student.

STA quote (per person)

Independent research (per person)

Flights Edinburgh-Paris: Airfrance £195.57

Flights Edinburgh-Paris: Airfrance £182.07 (www.cheapflights.co.uk )

Three nights accommodation: Private double £104

Three nights accommodation: Private double £71 (www.hostelbookers.com)

Champagne Seine cruise: £44

Champagne Seine cruise:£34

Insurance: £22

Insurance: £17.50 (www.insureandgo.com)

Total for two people: £731.14

Total for two people: £609.14

Sam’s quote: £721.94

Saving from STA quote: +£112.80

STA Travel Central Europe

Travel agencies: just another rip-off, or a helpful timesaver for bargain-hungry students? Melissa Geere investigates ��

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

12 Features

Outside of the vox

Melody McIndoe on ToMax Talks and the options for alternative student pastimes talk in a pub environment as a good format for networking and having a relaxed beer.” That key word, networking, already seems to be an incentive to attend which appeals especially to students. So far this appeared to be a brand that, though open to all, was primarily aimed at students. Surely, though, the additional benefit of networking is a lot easier to implement in London, where so many of the big names are based? Tom and Max would be able to bring the networking element, the unique facet of their brand, into their evenings a lot more easily in London than would be possible in Edinburgh. However, there are other reasons for spreading the brand to students at universities further north. “We thought that Edinburgh lacks that kind of student activism compared to somewhere like Sussex,” Blaise explained. “Students here don’t seem to be as politically involved and so we wanted a format where people can begin to be more interested in current affairs.” We move on to discuss the specifics of the first talk, which was to take place the following evening at the Outhouse, off Broughton Street in New Town. The title of this inaugural talk was ‘Inspiring Futures’ – aiming to explore what society is doing for young people today. “We realised that a lot of people our age had been affected by the London riots – that our parents had all been saying that the rioters should be locked up while we saw the motives behind their actions.”

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NOT YOUR AVERAGE LECTURE: Audence members enjoying the informal environment So, you’ve just finished a hard day’s studying. You come home in dire need of relaxation but find there are only so many Misfits episodes on 4oD and only so much mindless gossip you can have over a pint. You want something mentally stimulating and educational, but are too drained to sit through a monotonous lecture or intense debate, and besides, you want to socialise while you’re at it. So what are your options? This was the dilemma faced by Tom and Max less than a year ago in London, and it was this dilemma which lead to the creation of ToMax Talks (no prizes for guessing where the name came from), a brand which has

now been expanded to Edinburgh for the first time by two of their friends, Sophie Tunstall-Behrens and Blaise Boulton, both third year students at the university. The idea is a fairly simple one. A topic is set for the evening, a casual venue chosen and three individuals with knowledge in the subject area recruited to each give a 20 minute talk on their personal viewpoint, with questions from the audience to follow. The final result is not a debate but rather a presentation of ideas supported by anecdotes from those who have experienced the topic first-hand, intended to alter, question or affirm how we

perceive the subject matter. The format sounds original, so I arranged to meet the organisers the day before the first Edinburgh event in order to discover if there really was a difference between this concept and your average lecture. I was met by two women, who though slightly stressed at the prospect of being responsible for the impending talk, (“We only confirmed our last speaker a day ago”) seemed to be true embodiments of the ToMax spirit - laid back yet intelligent - and, in addition, clearly passionate about the project. They explained to me that the idea of ToMax was essentially “an inspiring

Henry Middleditch

The three speakers invited to present at the evening are not asked to state a blunt, factual point of view, but instead are selected for their charasmatic ability" They continued to describe the alternative elements of their format. Unlike other events of this nature, the three speakers invited to present at the evening are not asked to state a blunt, factual point-of-view, but instead are selected for their charismatic ability to not only convey what they think, but also to demonstrate to an audience how they reached that conclusion, and, hopefully, to therefore provide them not just with a personal opinion, but also with an apparatus for forming and expanding their own. Intrigued as to what the result of these ideals would be, I agreed to attend. The next evening I make the trek to The Outhouse. ‘Trek’ is perhaps an exaggeration, but if you live in Old Town, as many students do, the venue is not exactly next-door, a distance which seemed an odd choice on the part of the organisers – after all, surely the more convenient the location is, the more likely they are to get a large turn-out? I was greeted upon arrival by a small, yet elegant looking pub, the entrance to which can only be found by venturing down a charming, cobbled alley-way. The upstairs room had been booked

for the event. It has its own bar and a space was cleared at the head of the room for the speakers to occupy. The rest of the room was scattered full of chairs and candle-lit tables, accompanied by tempting nibbles, strategically placed. The atmosphere can only be described as ‘cosy’, the polar-opposite of the usual formal environment one might associate with an academic event. The speakers began. The first was Lucy Moorehead – an ex-teacher and coordinator at ‘Jamie’s Farm’, where a combination of farming, family and therapy is used to transform the lives of hard-to-reach children. Her tone was calm, but her words experienced, clear and passionate – that teachers need the freedom to get to know the children they are dealing with, that civic teaching needs to be reintroduced in schools and that short-term jail sentences for young offenders are not effective. The second was Karyn McCluskey, who, unlike her predecessor, became highly animated in her story-telling. A ‘gangbuster’ in Strathclyde police, she and her force deals with 71 murders a year and countless assaults. She was highly engaging in her tales, explaining that violence among young people should be treated as a disease model and that empathy is the glue which keeps society together. Finally, after a short break for more drinks (a perk which you wouldn’t get in your average lecture) Aamer Anwar took the stand. A left-wing human rights lawyer, Anwar does not work among the young but was once a radical, politically active student and recounted tales of protests and run-ins with the police. His point, that the student voice of change is a necessary one, was ardent and assertive. After each speaker had had their say, the informal atmosphere of the room left no one hesitant to ask the questions which they had considered over the course of the speeches. Far from it – the comfortable and approachable style meant that there was no fear in the audience to raise any queries. As I enjoyed one more drink before heading home, I discussed the talk with my fellow attendees and compared feedback, but the whole room was buzzing with conversation. It was difficult to find a group which was not engaged in exchanging ideas about the subjects brought to light during the talks; or a person not exclaiming how eye-opening the tales of the speakers had been. Though perhaps slightly sceptical as to the originality of the concept of the brand beforehand, on attending a ToMax Talk it became clear that such an environment does not exist elsewhere. The distance to the venue now seemed to have been intentional on the part of the organisers, completely separating the event, more than stylistically, but also geographically, from life at university. The talks had provided easy talking points among strangers and with the speakers, and rather than being forced to choose a side on an issue, I felt informed. I made the journey back to Old Town thinking that, while academic facts surely provide knowledge, empirical experience of a theory in practice is perhaps the most rational foundation on which to base opinion.

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Features 13

Catastrophe for creativity

John Hewitt Jones looks at the looming issues caused by the impact of the arts cuts Sometimes it becomes necessary to bash a drum. Not in a meaningless English Defence League-esque let'smake-as-much-noise-as-possible-anddrown-out-the-bastards kind of way, but just loud enough to create background discord that makes people sit up and think. It seems quite important to make people aware that the thumping noise is highlighting cuts made to an industry that affects every single person across the UK and contributes £57.3 billion to the UK economy. It’s necessary because, in general, the creative industries aren’t very good at defending themselves. When the government made the initial decision to cut the budget for the Department of Culture, Media and Sport back in 2010, the voices of protest were hard to decipher. A ‘Lost Arts’ website was launched, hosting a variety of indignant speeches from high profile celebrities, and several darlings of stage and screen came out to protest, but much was lost amid the media furore. Ultimately, there is little more that members of the creative industries can do to try and draw awareness to the ‘grass roots’ effects of the arts cuts. In April, after a government announcement that stricter financial regulation of banks might well be in order, large banks such as Barclays and HSBC warned that they would leave London

should the measures be too drastic. Creative industries are unable to threaten to up-sticks in the same way. Such a notion is of course an impossibility for a sector centred on British heritage and British emotional life. It was therefore extremely saddening to read Bianca Brigitte Bonomi’s article in the Independent last Friday, based on her experiences co-ordinating the Hay-on-Wye arts and ideas festivals HowTheLightGetsIn and Crunch. This was a piece which dismissed the gravity of the funding cuts made to Britain’s arts sector over the last yearand-a-half, arguing that those working within the sector would do best to shut up and get on with it. I would urge Ms Bonomi to question her evaluation of the arts cuts. The most significant reduction made over the last year and a half has been the 29% decrease in funding made available to the Arts Council England; an organisation which provides financial support to an enormous range of institutions throughout England. Arts organisations such as The Northumberland Theatre Company, The Dukes Playhouse and Wee Stories Theatre, exist in order to inspire communities who otherwise do not have the opportunity of exposure to any other artistic projects. These are just a few of the organisations that have had their funding cut from 2012 and several face closure.

HOPE: Those worried about the cuts will appreciate this installation at the Edinburgh Gallery of Modern Art Even in the face of adversity, arts organisations will continue to exist, but taking them for granted would appear to be an error of monumental proportions. The festivals run by Ms Bonomi to which she makes continuous reference are a fantastic symposium for ideas, but they reach a limited audience. An £80 price tag means that they naturally attract an audience that appeals to large corporate sponsors. A quick glance at the HowTheLightGet-

sIn website shows that donors include Prospect Magazine, Intelligent Life, Blackwell’s and and Spear’s Wealth Management Survey. Such a creative merging of business and the arts is of course extremely positive, but it should not be forgotten that smaller, equally valuable cultural projects are unable to attract large corporate sponsorship precisely because they don’t reach out to the right target audience. This year is the 6oth anniversary of the

Youth in action

Festival of Britain; a moment of cultural renaissance which saw a realisation of the significance of culture to the moral and emotional health of the nation. Access to the arts should be a right, not a privilege. In the past this country has had a reasonable track record in achieving universality of access through funding directed at education and outreach projects. It would seem imprudent to underestimate the impact that cuts to these will have on a future Britain.

Gain skills whilst doing something you feel passionate about, writes John Vrushi

Our generation has seldom been praised as active and independentthinking. We are often referred to as the Facebook, YouTube or video game generation, or as some would say, the post-ideological generation. To what extent do we really deserve this? While some may believe this, the fact is that networks of thousands of young people get involved in bigger things than updating Facebook statuses

or playing the new Call of Duty. There are hundreds of youth organisations out there involving thousands of youngsters in different fields of life every day. One of these organisations is the European Youth Parliament (EYP). The EYP is an international organisation with over 35 branches all over Europe, from Iceland to the recently joined Azerbaijan. It promotes awareness on European issues among young-

sters while involving them in resolution writing and debating. Over 100 events are organised throughout Europe, involving more than 20,000 youngsters in the process. The EYP encourages independent thinking and socio-political initiative in young people and facilitates the learning of crucial social and professional skills. Since its inauguration, many tens of

thousands of young people have taken part in regional, national and international sessions, formed friendships and made international contacts across and beyond borders. In the UK, the European Youth Parliament works with around 2,000 youngsters every year. There are 14 Regional Sessions where schools tackle European issues in the format of a debating competition. A school is chosen from each region to represent their region at the National Session, which has been held in Durham since 2005.

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The European Youth Parliament encourages independent thinking and socio-political initiative in young people."

THE EUROPEAN YOUTH PARLIAMENT: Getting involved in something bigger

In this process, the members of the EYP go through a plethora of different experiences. They learn more about Europe and the hot issues that concern us all in the European Union. They put their minds and hearts to the debates and speak their minds with passion and zeal. They acquire communication,

leadership and social skills. The EYP has thus made a vital contribution towards uniting Europe. Today, the EYP is one of the largest European platforms for political debate, intercultural encounters, political educational work and the exchange of ideas among young people in Europe. The opportunities that EYP gives to its members are immense. Not only on a formal and academic level but also as a life experience. It’s a place where national stereotypes and old national hatreds are barred. Georgians drink vodka with the Russians just as their country had been militarily attacked by their neighbour. Greek and Turkish Cypriots forget all the hatred and tensions that exist in their island and tell jokes teasing the narrow-minded nature of their own communities. The EYP gives one the chance to feel part of something bigger and stronger.The bitter truth is that, not too far from now, some of us may find ourselves stuck in an office, working 12 hours a day, being too exhausted to think about what is happening around us, let alone make a change. Before that happens, make sure you take advantage of the opportunities on offer now. What is important is to enjoy what you do and put your heart, as well as your mind, into it.

Tuesday November 22 2011 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 14

Follow �� us �� on twitter �� @TheStudentPaper �� or on Facebook �� at �� facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper �� lifestyle.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

The Final Say joanna lisiovec

EDITOR'S NOTE ON MALE FASHION

The art of seduction

If you're fed up of being 'just friends', or simply want some action, Nina Seale can help

Sophie Craik

2. Take an interest in his interests Okay, so I’m not really into sports either, but if you at least listen to what Rooney did last Sunday, you make him feel interesting. This will make him happy, and he will associate being happy with being with you. Bingo.

7. Party tricks So those of you who skipped number 6, this one is for you. If you want a party trick to get him into bed, whip out the time-tested classic of taking your bra off without removing your top. Strangely enough, when this was suggested by a female editor at a paper social, all the boys listening were shocked that such an incredible feat was possible. We left it to their imagination- see tip 1. zining cui

1. Be mysterious Dance on the line between being unattainable and actually rejecting them. He isn’t going to chase you if you seem completely disinterested, especially if he’s just planting seeds. You need to seem interested, but at the same time have lots of other things going on. One piece of advice was texting: don’t text back straight away, but when you do, make it worth the wait.

or pets, and then went on to talk about his dead childhood hamsters.

WAY TO A MAN'S HEART: Sometimes it takes more than soup... 3. Eye contact Focused attention makes him feel special. I’m not saying gawk at a stranger, apparently some people find that creepy, but when you are with him keep your attention on his face, especially when he is talking- that's just good manners. 4. Physical contact Five of us debated what parts of the body were acceptable. We decided upper arm and knees were a good place to start and the further down the back or up the leg your hand goes, the sluttier you seem, although rumour has it that men do like a little bit of slut in their

paramour. 5. Have a secret weapon Okay, this one is mine, so keep it quiet. Have a sexy smile or eyelash flutter-glance that you know shows off your best feature and unleash it at opportune moments. 6. Establish an emotional connection Talk about something personal, so all your touching doesn’t have him only thinking of you physically (if that’s all you’re after- just skip this bit!) The guy I spoke to suggested asking about family

8. Get him on his own Though this seems obvious, only talking to him in a tutorial or when you’re out with friends doesn’t put the idea of the two of you together in his mind. Suggest grabbing a coffee or working on a project together. 9. Be direct The poll showed that some guys find confidence super-sexy and some find it intimidating. Asking a guy out directly can give you a quick answer while also boosting their ego. Efficient. 10. Naked with beer Last ditch effort: I’m told a guy will rarely reject sex when it is offered on a plate. I’ve never tried standing on a plate, but maybe it will work. Happy hunting!

At a snip: Charlie Miller

Sophie Craik starts off our series of reviews of the best salons for students in Edinburgh I have often likened my fear of hairdressers to a fear of the dentist. In fact, sometimes more so than the dentist – at least I’m not surprised when the dentist tells me I’m doing something wrong, but it’s always such a disappointment when you think your hair looks quite good, and then they make that tutting noise. There might even be the “where is it you’ve been going before?” look of horror, as though they are about to alert the police to the person who has, unbeknownst to you, been attacking your head. It’s probably worse for me as I’m notorious for ruining my hair. Blonde, black, purple, I’ve been them all – I’ve even been neon pink, which caused a suspension from school and a warning from a nearly bald, tweed wearing man to “come back when my hair was a less offensive colour.” By now I’m sure I can hear the faint shrieking of my strands when I mention colouring it too loudly, which is why I was so happy to be given the chance to review Charlie Miller on South St Andrew Street. I could tell I was going to be in good hands as I walked through the glass doors. It looks small from the outside, but once you enter the huge salon you are met with an air of luxury within vibrant and buzzing surroundings. You get the impression you have accidentally walked into a Vogue styling area, from the aged

gold decoration and high ceilings, to the glamorous Shu Uemura hair products displayed throughout the salon. Katie was my lovely stylist for my time in the salon, and she sat down in front of me to discuss exactly what I wanted to be done with my wrecked bob of hair. I was booked in for a full head of highlights, and although my initial thoughts had been to try and convince them that

I really didn’t mind if they stripped my hair to make it blonde, I could tell this would not go down well – the sleek image of the salon goes right down to how they want their clients to look; polished with well-looked after hair. We decided to go for a light golden brown shades with two ash blonde tones woven throughout to give the impression of light, as well as to tone down my

CHARLIE MILLER: At the forefront of style in Edinburgh

charlie miller

When you start going out with someone, you're supposed to do so because you're attracted to them and like them the way that they are. And it often starts out this way, but little by little the meddler in you rears its ugly head. Nothing is more demonstrative of this than the fashionista girlfriends that can be found leading their boyfriends around the high street, trying desperately to transform them into Topman mannequins. “But darling,” they cry, “this mandigan is so you! Just try it on, please?". Holding onto him carefully, lest he get lost in a sea of knitwear and plaid, these girlfriends see it as their sacred calling to guide their man to the perfect flannel shirt or desert boot. This has got to stop. With the sheer amount of media coverage the industry gets today, we would be foolish to think that men do not know what is going on in fashion – maybe they just don’t all buy into it as whole-heartedly as we do. You can tell this simply from feeling the quality of a man’s t-shirt as opposed to a woman’s – they are usually better quality and made of thicker material, as men are seen to be more discerning consumers in terms of what they are actually spending their money on and how long it will last, no matter how ‘in’ it is. Also, just as there are different looks for girls, this also applies for men. If you would never be seen dead in vintage, don’t presume your man will want to look like he’s in some East London indie band if that’s really just not his style. This isn't to say that you shouldn’t encourage him to try out different clothes that would genuinely suit him; just make sure they’re still ‘him’. Stereotypically, if men criticised and attempted to regulate the dress sense of their girlfriends, women would likely dissolve into such emotional chaos that the entire world would be filled with rampaging females thinking their men don’t like the way they look, and are therefore not only not attracted to them but potentially attracted to someone else, who looks different to how they do. The jungle fight scene in Mean Girls would only be the tip of the iceberg. If you are so desperate to go out with someone who looks exactly how you’d want them to dress, either hire a male model to dress up now and then or choose who you fall in love with a lot more care. For now, just appreciate them for who they are and realise that mannequins aren’t all that great for cuddling into, tickling you and all the other perks of the men in our lives.

After sitting for too long in my room waiting for a prince to ride by on a white horse and throw pebbles at my window, I’ve finally decided to stop being passive in my dating life... and stop listening to Taylor Swift. I am going to take matters into my own hands and seduce the man I want. What turns his head? How do you make your intentions clear without misrepresenting yourself? I started asking all the boys I know how I could seduce them. I’ve taken and trimmed their advice into ten nifty tricks that should help reel in some of Edinburgh’s finest catches.

reddishy brown tones which eventually I was hoping to get rid of entirely. As the foils were expertly applied, Katie talked about her time at the salon, having been there for five years, she seemed very much at home there. The staff are very attentive in Charlie Miller, with my magazine and hot drink needs very well watched over by observant stylists, and about 45 minutes later it was time to be washed and blow dried. With the amazing 40% discount they offer for students on cut or colour services, or both if you so desire, my full head highlights would have been around £50. This means that depending on your budget it might be more of a once in a while treat experience than a regular expenditure, but on a personal note my hair genuinely does look the healthiest and most well cared for it has done in a long time. In comparison to salons of similar standing, the price is a great deal after student discount, and was definitely well worth it. When you realise that a cut works out to just over £20 from such a prestigious salon, it becomes clear that you’d be insane not to try their polished approach out. The salon reviewed is at 8 South St Andrew Street. All details are on their website: www.charliemiller.com

Love Letstories us know! Send film? us your on fashion, beauty and health lifestyle.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 15 15

The fairer sex?

The Final Say EDITOR'S NOTE ON MALE FASHION

Lad culture has kept sexism on the comedy radar, but has the joke gone too far? By Katie MacPherson

ACCEPTED SEXISM: Would 100 best penises be treated the same?

trust what I have to say just because I’m a girl in a home improvement store and therefore wouldn’t know anything about roof felting or varnish. I think it can be easier for women to get away with sexism because we are often the immediate victims. Here’s the thing, an expectation that girls will fail in certain ways alludes to the fact that we expect men to succeed in them. Now, while being told that you are not good enough because you are a girl is wrong, in my opinion it is also trivial. Women don’t have to engage with sexist remarks because we immediately have the upper hand, we are elevated above the speaker of the remark because they are the one with the problem. Men, however, I think have a trickier time of it. The stereotypes that surround men and boys, in particular the ‘lad’ image, I think must be pretty hard to live up to. This image of going out, partying hard, sleeping with tons of girls and doing stupid dares must be unrealistic. The respect gained by a shocking amount of guys for downing a dirty pint or eating something disgusting has to be seen to be believed. Such acts cause them to be revered by their fellow lads, yet women are somehow still meant to find them attractive. Here, I have to admit to my own sexism. I get annoyed at the lad mentality; I used to see it as this club women were barred from because women who do the same kind of thing

are usually branded as vulgar, slutty or just plain weird. However, when I was researching this article I looked up truelad.com. I thought it was going to be like FML but exclusive or, rather, excluding. Instead of reading the hundreds of stories of derogatory sex and antics I was treated to some pretty emotional tributes to men and boys all over the world. Among the stories were some beautiful tributes to dead sons, fathers, brothers’ uncles and friends. I felt a bit ashamed at my jealousy, after all, women get the sisterhood thing and no one minds if we are vulgar in each other’s company. But I think it’s hard for women to relate sometimes because being a lad looks fun and rather than looking at it as a way for men to connect, it can be misinterpreted as men looking to undermine women. The fact is we can all be mean to each other and we can all feel like we are being excluded from a world that offers more than the one we have got. I wish now I hadn’t got angry with the women in the shop who asked for a man’s help. It may not have been the wisest thing to say but I don’t believe she meant it the way it sounded. Unless we stop emphasising the differences between men and women we are going to victimise people just for trying to connect with their own sex.

TOPMAN

care and I also know a lot about having to deal with this perspective as an employee. I have never been shocked at the general opinion of customers concerning the girls where I work, but a few weeks ago I was pushed over the edge by a woman who uttered the accursed line “can I speak to a man please?” I get the impression that many people don’t

HOLSTER

Working in a DIY store is not what I would call the most glamorous job for a teenage girl. I would have much rather worked for Topshop or H&M. My prejudices were completely sexist. I had no interest in working in such a male dominated environment, but I needed the money so I stuck with it. Four years on, I know a lot about home

Get your noodle on The phenomenon that is Wagamama has finally touched down in Edinburgh. It opened three weeks ago on Lothian Road, not too far from Campus and the main student residential areas. The long queue for a table is not only a sign of the popular reputation that precedes Wagamama but is also a clear indicator of Edinburgh’s need for an affordable, trendy, nonbuffet style Asian Restaurant. We were shown to our table, an intimate table for four shared with another couple. We were not too fussed about having to sit next to strangers as it is a well-known ideology of the Wagamama Chain to promote communal seating. Thankfully, our neighbours had experienced it before as well. However, we have come to the conclusion that this is not the venue for a first date. The service was fast and the waiting staff were friendly and helpful. We were pleased to find that the waiters were not the overly passionate, overly attentive, pestering kind that can be found in similar restaurant chains. This helped to set us at ease considering the slightly awkward situation we found ourselves in. After placing our order we were warned that our dishes would arrive at different times. We thought nothing of it at first, but despite this warning, we felt it was quite excessive when one main arrived around fifteen minutes after the first. Now, onto the most important part:the food. The menu has something to suit almost everyone and offers a wide range of fish, meat and vegetarian dishes. We highly recommend three in particular, the favourite

being beef kushiyaki, a side from the specials menu. The beef was tender and extraordinarily tasty, the subtle hints of lemongrass with a sweet soy glaze bringing depth to the dish. The duck gyoza (deep-fried duck and leek dumplings) and ebi katsu (prawns deep-fried in panko breadcrumbs) were also delicious. The tori kara age (deep-fried chicken pieces), however, seemed to lack in flavour in comparison to the other side dishes and was a little too chewy for our liking. Being noodle lovers, we were swayed towards the spicy soup based mains opting for Kare noodle, itame with chicken which can be served with tofu for any veggies out there. Like a Thai Green Curry in soup form, it had just the right chicken-to-vegetable ratio and was full of flavour whilst not overwhelming the taste buds. The other main we chose was teriyaki chicken donburi, which was well-cooked but fairly bland, lacking the bite expected in Far-Eastern cuisine. A small portion of chillies solved the problem giving the dish the kick it needed. The dishes were served in a traditional style, adding to the experience of Wagamama. Prospective customers useless with chopsticks need not fret, the understanding staff bring more familiar cutlery with every main. Asahi beer was a great accompaniment to the main dishes, we found it incredibly refreshing and reasonably priced. The drinks selection was varied, though a little pricey. Those on a budget can opt for green tea which is both healthy and free. A great way to end the meal is with a shot of Sake, Japanese rice wine. This

WAGAMAMA: Newly opened, but was it worth the wait? was delicious and a change from the usual sambuca, tequila or other shots that would start a night out. A great way to end a great meal. The food is relatively affordable and extremely filling. Wagamama has a fun, vibrant, friendly and trendy environment, suitable for everyone. It has all the hallmarks to be a regular on the student scene. It is a great start to a night out or somewhere to go and enjoy a delicious meal after a heavy day

in lectures. 1 Castle Terrace Corner of Lothian Road Edinburgh EH1 2DP 0131 229 5506 Opening hours: Mon to Sat: 11am - 11pm. Sun: 12.30pm to 10pm

KAZOO PR/WAGAMAMA

Samantha Kain and David McGinlay find out if this trend lives up to the hype

I don’t know why, but I have always had a strong attraction to men in hats. Perhaps it is because as a child my parents took extreme pleasure in dressing me up in a different hat every day of the year. This resulted in my inescapable association with the name ‘hat baby’ and ever since, I have found myself subconsciously gravitating towards the hat-wearing kind. Despite this, I know there have been many ridiculous hat trends recently. The ‘animal hat’ for example – it might have been okay for Davy Crockett to wear a racoon on his head but it certainly isn’t okay now. However, one hat trend that I wholeheartedly approve of this winter is that throw back from the nineties, the bobble hat. You might not see them as the sexiest addition to your outfit. In fact, you probably associate them with your youth, being forced to wear that garish rainbow bobble hat with a frolicking reindeer pattern. Despite my flatmate saying that they make everyone look like children and elves, I think they are great in so many ways. I know what you are thinking now; a bit of foresight would have been appreciated. If you had known these hats were ever going to be acceptable, even ‘cool’, you would have kept the one your granny so lovingly knitted back in the day. As well as the benefit of extreme warmth, for me, these hats say so much more about a guy’s personality. Forgive the pun, but you need balls to carry off a bobble hat. A bobble hat wearer is going to be sure of himself, and also someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously. Not everyone will feel comfortable looking like they’ve plonked a tea cosy on their head, but it works. I like a guy who can have fun with his fashion sense. So step out into the cold wearing your bobble hat with pride, as far as I am concerned, the bigger the bobble the better.

Lilidh Kendrick

Yeah, it's got dragons Lewis Dunne gets lost in the world of TES V: Skyrim Bethesda PC,360,PS3 £40

 The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has to be one of the most hyped games for this year. Someone with even the slightest interest in games would have had to have been hiding under a rock for the past 6 months to have missed it. Often people get too worked up about such games, resulting in disappointment if it’s anything less than divine. Those approaching Skyrim with realistic expectations, however, certainly won’t be disappointed. Like the previous games of the series, Skyrim introduces you to a massive and rich environment, and then lets you loose. This freedom, combined with the massive and detailed environment really makes the game feel like a living world. There is always something to do as the map is littered with people and factions offering a plethora of missions for completion. Those familiar with the previous Elder Scrolls game will be happy about the reappearance of Join-able factions such as the College of Winterhold, the Dark Brotherhood, and a Guild reminiscent of the Fighters Guild which featured in previous games. The player can even join one of the belligerents in the region’s civil war. The main storyline itself follows the return of dragons to the fictional land of Skyrim. Naturally, it’s up to you to stop

them. The plot is well written and the main story missions alone take around 20 hours to complete. The great length of the game is, however, necessary, considering there is no multiplayer component.

“

Sure, dragons are bad, but if you're busy trying to steal some wine for the alcoholic by the fountain that's understandable" The only real flaw is that the story moves at a slower pace than in Oblivion. Although roaming dragons serve as a constant reminder of the main quest, there doesn’t feel like there’s any real urgency for you to progress; sure dragons are bad, but if you’re busy trying to steal some wine for the alcoholic by the fountain, that’s forgettable. The plethora of side quests also prove to be significant distractions with the civil war backstory sometimes feeling like it overshadows the quests that are supposed to be the focus of the game. Character and skill advancement also plays an important role in the game, with levelling up offering you the opportunity to upgrade attributes, such as sneaking or improving the damage done by hitting someone in the head with an axe. This lets the player specialise in their chosen areas, giving a healthy degree of customisation,

MAGIC BOWS: Strangely, this isn't overkill and generally just adds to the game’s depth. The combat on the whole is decent, and can prove to be a challenge at times. Arguably however, this tends less to be because of enemy intelligence but instead because they tend to be quite overpowering. This aside, the larger opponents, such as giant spiders, can encounter problems at times, such as falling off bridges and stairs or simply being unable to pursue the player through doors proceeding to stand there whilst you fire arrow after arrow into its face. This isn’t anything game breaking, but it can sometimes break the immersion factor that the game prides itself on.

The combat also features cinematic finishing moves which seemingly fire off at random. These cinematic moments are satisfying to watch and occur infrequently enough so as to not be continually breaking up the action sequences. Skyrim is a true sequel to Oblivion. The main storyline may feel slightly weaker, but the game as a whole is solid and incredibly immersive. Even though the game only offers singleplayer, the huge number of quests on offer means that you’ll definitely get your money’s worth out of the game. Given the scope of the game, the faults are negligible and don’t stop the game from towering head and shoulders above its competitors.

Far east movement Tom Hasler explores China's exciting space program

CHINA'S ROCKETS: They're pretty big Despite operating as a pariah on the international space exploration scene, China is now considered a world leader in space exploration. Earlier this month, China’s space program made the headlines when the Shenzhou 8 capsule successfully docked with the Tiangong 1 module 200 miles above the earth's surface. The successful testing of docking technology represents a massive mile-

stone towards China’s own space station and the mission will be repeated again next year with a manned crew. This forms part of a grander ambition to set up a space program that rivals the United States and Russia, with an operation space station and manned expeditions to the moon and Mars already planned. For China to have come so far is quite an achievement given that they

are forced to operate independently from the greater space exploration community. Following the violence of the Tienanmen Square riots of 1989, the US imposed sanctions that barred the Chinese scientific community from any kind of cooperation regarding space technology, with the most visible example being their exclusion from the 15 nation international space station project. Despite being forced to develop almost all of their own technology, China is one of only three countries in the world to independently send a man into orbit. This manned space flight took place in 2003 and was undertaken by Yang Liwei. During the flight, which took Liwei around the earth 14 times, the astronaut was filmed waving both Chinese and UN flags and it is alleged that crop seeds from Taiwan were brought aboard the craft. Despite this minor controversy, the flight and China’s space program as a whole are now celebrated across the world and many believe the country's time in exile should come to an end.

gamespress

Skyrim

globalnewspointer.net

Last week PETA, yes the animal rights protest group, released a game. Seriously. If that doesn’t surprise you then perhaps this will: it isn’t their first. PETA have created more than a few parodies, quite elaborate send-ups in fact, of popular video games, movie franchises and even strip tease games. These satirical experiences are fairly blunt to say the least and are laced with issues from vegetarianism to animal cruelty. This library is a prime example of activist gaming. The game released this week accused Mario, the innocent Italian plumber, of skinning poor innocent tanukis to make his apparently visceral flying suit. The other games are of a similar nature. “Super Tofu Boy” is a delightful little satire of Super Meat Boy, that transforms the eponymous hero (who isn’t actually made of meat, but that is by the by) into a blood spattering villain fighting against a mirror bean curd hero. The super chick sisters demonstrate the cruelty of KFC in an obviously Mario based platformer. But my absolute favourite had to be “Mama Kills Animals”. This is a gruesome interpretation of the cute, childfriendly cooking simulator, where you use various mini games to brutalise a turkey with far more blood in it than a standard slasher flick. These flash games are surprisingly well made. In fact, many of them show a lot of loyalty to the originals, using the games that they parody to push various beliefs. Unlike many people in the forums, who spewed anger against PETA for taking away their fun, I quite enjoyed this week’s little parody. Honestly, I didn’t know that the tanuki existed, let alone was skinned for its fur. I didn’t find the blood soaked Mario land particularly offensive either. These games are quite openly pieces of propaganda. They aren’t the bludgeon that is going to turn me into a vegetarian but are the influence that will make me read up on the issue before choosing not to be. These examples show biased games at their best, mostly because they are presented in a tongue-incheek manner and therefore can’t set out to indoctrinate because we know the context of the argument. I’m not convinced that attacking the suit of a plumber who also wears a penguin suit was the correct way to frame their ideas, but hey PETA had their fun, and frankly I had a giggle too. Thom Louis

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oliver ninnis

Tuesday November 22 2011 �� studentnewspaper.org

While the US space program is still arguably as ambitious as China’s, with plans to reach Mars within the next decade, recent years have seen investment in the space program dwindle and international cooperation is becoming ever more essential as the challenges of space exploration become more demanding. It seems rather absurd to exclude China given that, without any help whatsoever, they have managed to elevate their space program to one of the most successful in the world. While the US is still conflicted about lifting the sanctions, China has said that its aerospace program, including any future space stations, would be open and available to all nations. Whether or not it will ever be integrated into global endeavours, the rate of progress in recent years has made China’s space program one of the most exciting, especially when NASA is mired so heavily by the US’s economic woes. Who knows? Maybe the first men we see on Mars may be Chinese rather than American or Russian.

live

Tuesdays Weekly

TERM TIME TUESDAYS 7:30PM The Pleasance Cabaret Bar £5 | £4 students Tickets available from Teviot, Potterrow* & Pleasance* box offices, or on 0131 650 4673. Online bookings can be made through:

www.eusalive.co.uk your student association – your live events – your social life EUSALIVE A3 Posters Sept 2011.indd 4

09/09/2011 12:01

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Oliver ninnis

No one reads these bits anyway herring.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

Mystic Mel and Numinous Nina Tamagotchi craze! Everyone's talking about it. were twins separated at birth to prevent an apocalypse. They did not meet again until being placed in halls together in first year. Uniting two halves of a mediocre psychic talent, they now use their abilities to write amateur horoscopes and spoil the ends of films for people.

Aries

Beware - Jupiter’s four giant moons will be moving around in your sphere this week. This means you must either wear underwear in bed, or stop living in a Zorb ball.

Taurus

Next time someone chats you up in GHQ, let it happen. Use your best seduction techniques - be passionate whilst talking about dead hamsters from your childhood. It’s an irresistible turn-on.

Gemini

This week will feel like a wild goose chase, but it will turn out to be a heron, not a goose you are chasing. The heron will bring you phenomenal cosmic power and a small jar of Marmite.

Cancer

Your flatmates have covered your room with tin foil. Finally! You will find it is much easier to keep clean, and you can check your reflection in any surface.

Leo

An Aries will achieve everything you achieve this week, only five minutes earlier and slightly better. If you watch all the episodes of Doctor Who backwards, you will find out why. And inadvertently create a timey-wimey paradox.

Virgo

Falling in love is a blessing that will fill your life with chocolate soup and antiques followed by the finishing touch of chocolate comfort food.

Libra

You will not get any work done this week as you will be gazing at joggers’ calf muscles from the library

News in Numbers

window. Let’s face it though, this is true every week. Channel your frustration into doing some exercise of your own, then you can look at your own legs and won’t have to strain your eyes so much, as it’s getting darker earlier now.

Scorpio

Having a bad day? Be nice to the lady in the Teviot Sweetshop. She will listen to the stories of that horrible guy in your building, and give you a free sample of sweets that turn your mouth green. You will then have the confidence to slice the guy’s ego in half with your new brightly coloured tongue.

Sagittarius

This is the week you’ve been waiting for! Finally someone will write on your Facebook wall and it will look like you have friends. Don’t play cool, ‘like’ it promptly, and then stalk their wall until they agree to marry you.

Capricorn

As Pluto aligns with some other wannabe planet, you will be cursed with an inability to repress puns. Your friendships will suffer, apart from the precious few in your entourage who are gluttons for pun-ishment.

Aquarius

If you don’t get into the library on the first swipe of your student card, give up. Mars is aligning with Jupiter, which means, for us mere mortals, that your 2000 word essay on sequpedalian loquaciousness would have spontaneously combusted anyway.

Pisces

Greyfriar’s Bobby will come to life and chase you down the Cowgate. Don’t look to us for a solution, pseudo-astrology can’t help you here. Stop drinking.

8 32

Why aren't you?! Tamagotchi – the handheld digital pets that you can love and nurture from your pocket (like an extra genital) – have made an unprecedented comeback amongst students at the University of Edinburgh. Bandai, the Japanese toy firm behind the egg-shaped plastic toy, have re-launched their loveable keychain pet for the first time since 1996.

“

The invigilator was wiping his tamagotchi's ass the whole time"

It first became popular again with local hipsters. One told Herring, “Tamagotchi are so retro… but I was still into them before anyone else”. The craze proliferated like fermenting yeast across a slice of mouldy bread to the rest of the student population. “I take it with me everywhere but it keeps getting water in it from the shower” said an addicted student. “I

News in Brief

even take it on nights out but Lava Ignite have started charging a door fee for taking your tamagotchi into the club. “On the other hand if I take it on a night out it keeps me out of trouble. ‘That kid has a tamagotchi – don’t mess with him,’ I hear them say”. However, its familiar beeping to demand regular attention has AROUSED: Man steals toy from child angered some students. Kathy, a second whole time.” year history student said, “Every Reportedly, one student’s flat lease night it dies because it takes a dump was rebuked after one student landat like 3 in the morning and I’m not lord (it rhymes with Mant Granageawake to change it.” ment) discovered that they were “I had to leave my Introduction to keeping a pet. Classics exam halfway through the Tamagotchi creator, Akihiro Yopaper because my tamagotchi needed koi, was unavailable to comment. He feeding. I came back in after I had fed was too busy cleaning up his tamagotit, the invigilator didn’t even notice, chi’s poo. he was wiping his tamagotchi’s ass the New government budget announces tax hike on Pukka pads “First the tuition fees, now this!” cried one disgruntled student. Whereas before only English students who have to pay fees gave a shit about government education policies, Scottish students are now up in arms.

Highlights of the Christmas market

This Thursday, Edinburgh’s famous Christmas market opens in East Princes Street Gardens. Mary Portas, self styled Queen of Shops and a Ron Weasley look-alike scaled the fences and charmed the gruff security guy to bring Herring readers a sneaky peek of what to expect.

Student Psychology dissertation has sinister under- and over-tones To investigate the basis of Freudian psychoanalysis, one 4th year student asked 23 randomly selected students to fuck their mothers: "it's a mother fucking disgrace" said one participant.

JUMANJI

Nineteen forties man, German market "I don’t usually go for these leather goods, but this one gave me a bite of his Stollen."

Beard hat, £19.99, stall 11 "The sign of a great hat is an accompanying detachable beard."

Japanese tourist, ¥100, (batteries not included) "I love this item. He followed me around taking photos; I think they're going to be this year’s must have."

The number of people who killed their dogs after hearing the Florence and The Machine song 'Dog Days are Over'. The number of times George Foreman's senile mother has called him 'The George Foreman' and attempted to grill things in him.

74 8

The knack to Jumanji is in thinking outside of the box and then using numbers as the key to getting back inside the box where you will find the one true number - Lawrence. By focusing one's Chi and thus finding one's inner Bonsai, one can abstract the derivative of the plus and minus signs to create a web of numbers that all add up to a really big number. Once the board is complete and Lawrence has revealed himself to you, stand up and scream "Jumanji" at the top of your voice.

The number of animal-cooking utensil combinations that Bear Grylls' parents went through before arriving at his given name. The number of people who actually drink alcohol anymore - squash is where it's at!

rEVIEW COMMISSION #11: natasha russell

Natasha Russell is a 4th year BA Drawing and Painting student, whose work encompasses drawing, printmaking and photography. This piece of work is a screen print of the Ormiston Yew tree. Russell has burnt away areas of a photograph and then drawn back into it, embedding the image with symbols taken from the histories, folklore, traditions and practices which are connected to the tree. The Yew was used as a place of gathering and represents a kind of natural cathedral. Its wood is used in bow-making but also in the treatment of cancer. There are also various folk tales connected to the Yew, most of which portray the tree as a symbol of death but also of rebirth; the tree is toxic to all animals but new growths sprout from its fallen branches. At the same time the tree continues to be surrounded by daily goings on â&#x20AC;&#x201C; of children on their bikes or people chopping branches for logs. Russellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s combination of drawing and photography allows for this bank of information to be experienced and seen all at once. In doing this, she does not necessarily aim to illustrate a multitude of stories. Instead, the image is more of an attempt to give a sense of the wealth of knowledge created through the relationship people have had with this point on the landscape for almost one thousand years.

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Edinburgh destroyed

holly jameson

20 Culture 20

Michael Mackenzie meets Peter Standen to discuss his upcoming apocalyptic exhibition

eter Standen's house in Portobello is not the best place for his artworks to be exhibited. If they're not displayed on the wall (the walls are filled from top to bottom with canvases) then they're in storage space or, as is the case with the work to be exhibited at the end of this week, standing propped up against the wall hidden from view. In the entrance hallway to his ‘ studio’, as though Standen was tired of framing and hanging, he has painted a gigantic mural piece with trees that stretches from wall to ceiling over anyone happening to visit this darkly humorous artist at home. Standen's work tends to portray apocalyptic scenes of Edinburgh or Glasgow. His etching Grand Finale depicts a tsunami about to crash through North Bridge at rush hour, whales and all, while the not-so-extinct volcano Arthur's Seat shoots lava into the sky. He tells me the whales are a joke referring to Greenpeace and the WWF – after our attempts to save the whales, they only end up destroying Waverley station.

THE BOOK CLUB

•• •••

its internal structure. It was admiration for the building, really. A lot of people saw it and asked me if it was after the holocaust. And I said, well, it's after the passage of time, which is the ultimate holocaust I suppose.” Upon seeing his Edinburgh etchings for the first time, people remarked:

7 Stories

play sounds all a bit too much for a Wednesday afternoon. Fortunately, this proves to be an unexpectedly hilarious and really quite clever production which is executed by a cast who revel in the absurdity of Panych’s script. As the man balances uncertainly on the edge of the building, his suicide attempt is continuously interrupted by the eccentric inhabitants who don’t seem to notice, or care, that there’s a bloke dangling over their windowledge. These oddball characters draw a

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THE BOOK CLUB

here’s nothing funny about suicide, supposedly, though the laughter ringing throughout the audience during this production tells a different story. A man is standing on the ledge of a seven-story building, about to jump. So far, the premise of Morris Panych’s

It happened on the way to war Bloomsbury £12.99

danielle malinen

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THE BOOK CLUB

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••• ••• seeing everything but the top of Calton Hill drowned in water, or George Street ••••• ••• inhabited only by emerging palm trees. As much as we may love it, this is the city we're trying to get away from when ••••••• we go to an art gallery. In times of stress, Peter Standen's Future Cityscapes is

A PEACEFUL WORLD: The M8 and M9 intersection overgrown with trees in Ancient Intersection

His black humour aside, I asked him if his work had any particular message he wished to drive home; adding humour to climate change seems to strip his work of the environmental warning it could have had. Standen tells me about one of his early paintings of St. Paul's cathedral: “it had fallen down in such a way as to reveal

Bedlam Theatre Run Ended

••••

ye Barcott’s candid and compelling memoir of his work setting up an NGO, Carolina for Kibera (CFK), in Kenya’s largest slum, begins with the sentiment that “talent is universal; opportunity is not”. What makes Barcott’s story unique is that he founds CFK, an organisation dedicated to peacemaking, just as he begins his career in the United States' Marines. As a college student, Barcott attempted to better understand ethnic violence, in preparation for his military career, by living in the Kibera slum in

“you must really hate Edinburgh!” But it isn't for a hatred of Edinburgh that he destroys it; it's rather an appreciation of its architecture. Standen blames an early fascination with drawing and exploring ruins for his imagined destruction of the city we live in. There is something very satisfying in

THE BOOK CLUB

host of laughs from the audience and it is difficult to fault the energy and humour of the entire cast. It is the understated portrayal of The Man himself, however, alongside that of Lillian, an elderly woman who takes interest in his plight, that should be credited with bringing a certain poignancy to the otherwise comical performance. The setting was abstract and minimal but quite ingenious. Large frames were attached to the roof and floor in order to create the window space

THE BOOK CLUB

Nairobi, Kenya. Barcott left Kibera with more than an understanding of ethnic violence; he left with the hope that he could bring about lasting change in Kibera by helping local leaders to inspire the next generation to enact change from within. Barcott’s friendships with Tabitha Atieno Festo, a nurse, and Salim Mohamed, a community organiser, led to the formation of CFK. Barcott’s honesty in trying to justify his military career whilst continuing his humanitarian work with CFK is commendable; however, it is almost impossible to reconcile the two. Barcott’s admission of his “curiosity with and attraction to violence,” and the potential for human cruelty that Barcott witnesses during war, appears out of place alongside the humanitarian work CFK carries out. Barcott does not sugarcoat

THE BOOK CLUB

Peter Standen

“

This••••••••••• is the•••city we're trying to get away from when we go to an art gallery."

THE BOOK CLUB

than suffocating to imagine everything subsumed in a giant tidal wave. He sees a “back to Eden” theme in these paintings and etchings: “it's a world, going back to the Iron Age really, with the Saxons making cottages in the ruins of Londinium, that sort of thing – a more relaxed age.” Though he notes that, now he's a bit older, he's not sure how much of an ideal vision this really is. “And anyway,” he adds, “I'm not sure how relaxed the Saxon age really was.” Self-deprecating and not at all pretentious, Standen is an artist who works for the enjoyment of it. He showed me his self-made paper left out to dry. There are always variations in colour and texture, as a result of the making process, so even though he makes prints of his work, each one is always different. He enjoys working with etchings because the process is so tactile; everything he produces is hand-crafted in an organic way. In a sense, there is something very refreshing in his printmaking because everything is so evidently unique. Some of the works going on display at Henderson's gallery have not been seen by Standen himself for years. They will be put on display where they should be, for anyone who wishes to see, rather than piled on top of each other due to spacing issues. Whether you really hate Edinburgh, or just wouldn't mind seeing a giant whale crushing it, Future Cityscapes will ease your city-based tensions with works that haven't been seen by human eyes for far too long.

pushing your way through the crowds on North Bridge, it is rather more calming

running until the 2nd of December at The Henderson Gallery (Free).

all just throw ourselves off a 7-storey ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• building? The production manages to the seriousness of these ques••••• ••••••••••••••maintain ••••••• tions without•• losing any of its humour or liveliness and leaves one feeling surprisingly upbeat. ••••••• ••••••••••••••••••• Overall, this was an amusing, eccentric and very well-executed piece of theatre and it’s a real shame that it’s ••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••• not running at Bedlam for just a wee bit longer. • ••••••••••• ••••• •••••••••••••• Rebecca Brown ••••••••••••••••• the hardships of Kibera; the road to lems can only be successful if they are through which the characters appeared. The overwhelming black and white of the production was reminiscent of an old film and the picture-frame quality of the set created a particularly voyeuristic atmosphere. This design was well suited to a play that is so selfconsciously aware of itself as an act of performance and so centred around our inability to look further than our own lives. This is a play that asks big questions: What is the point in life? Why don’t we

successful international development is never easy or cheap, and the stories from within Kibera are tragic and distressing. However, although the work CFK does is incredibly complex, the purpose of this work is an inspirational one: to encourage peace in an impoverished and divided society.

“

It is the committed few in troubled communities who have the power to enact real change." CFK was at the forefront of ‘participatory development’, the belief that solutions to the world’s biggest prob-

partly driven by those affected by them. This book is more than a memoir; it provides a convincing template of how NGOs could be run to ensure lasting change. Barcott is impressive because he has proven that it is the committed few within troubled communities who have the power to enact real change; this is why Festo and Mohamed emerge as possibly even more inspirational than Barcott himself. Ollie Giles

Our next Book Club read will Our next Book Club read will be be Peace, Love & Petrol Bombs by Snuff, by Terry Pratchett. D.D. Johnston. If you have any thoughts on you have any thoughts on it, it,If or on The Art of Fielding, email or It Happened on the Way to War, culture.thestudent@gmail.com email culture.thestudent@gmail. and let us know! com and let us know!

Theatre buff? Review it! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21 21 Star Rating Broadway The West End Community theatre Basement Telephone-box at the Fringe

That inking feeling

ROYGBIV

Kristina Kirova has a go at creating her own masterpieces as part of Such and Such's Symmetry

“

Why not assemble your own universe instead of wondering about twinkling stars?"

DRINKING AND DESIGNING : Participants in Sequence's workshop

Inspired by the precision of the typewriter, Rachel Barrons creates a supporting device in the production of

STAR QUALITY King's Theatre Run Ended



hat you imagine the director said to his cast upon reading Noel Coward’s last comedy was: “Let’s all take the piss out of ourselves and our profession.” If that was indeed their aim, the crew behind Star Quality certainly achieved it. The acting was delightfully extravagant, the characters split between proud narcissists and simpering sycophants trailing behind them. Though the overly melodramatic acting became a tad tiresome with certain characters, it was entirely appropriate for a play mocking the antics behind the stage curtains. The audience was kept in giggles by a couple of star cameos. Gay Soper played the old maid Nora, whose cheeky comments and remarks made you wish that she stole more scenes. The adorable campness of Anthony Houghton’s character Tony Orford, however, was spoiled by the sudden introduction of a gay threesome in the middle of the play. Houghton’s performance would have carried the theme of homosexuality well, but the confusion of other characters’ sexualities only served to unnecessarily

SUCH AND SUCH STUDIOS

urrently the walls of Such and Such gallery are festooned with sheets of graph paper. Multi-colored figurines hover over the pieces and dance a paper roundel reminding viewers of twinkling stars. All sequence and symmetry, the arrangements of the forms seem to disclose a universe of its own. The technique behind the masterpieces is a print machine invented by painter Rachel Barron. Far from being a one-way display, the exhibition features pop-up print workshops with the artist, in which participants can be their own Deadalus.

prints. Combining a wooden table with a jagged ruler and a collection of rubber stamps might seem like a simple approach, with its title of 'printing appara-

tus' perhaps seeming a little ambitious. Still, the marvel’s charm is too great to resist. Lock, stock, and barrel, I go ahead with blossoming ideas. My only

meddle with the plotline. The wit of the script and these cameos make up for the lack of ‘star quality’ in the two main protagonists: Bob Saul starring as the playwright and Amanda Donohoe as actress Lorraine Barrie. The idealistic writer seems more of an actor himself than an individual with true depth or writing talent; the scene that tries to show flirtation between him and the overly dramatic, ageing Lorraine falls flat.

MEN SHOULD WEEP

“

Going to see Star Quality is to enjoy a night of civilised comedy.” Despite the '50s setting, the play uses tricks – like in physical theatre with strange lighting and typewriter sound effects – to illustrate the passing of time between scenes. These keep the production dynamic. Going to see Star Quality is to enjoy a night of civilised comedy. The charisma of this play lies in the quick wit and charm of the script, rather than the plot or the play as a whole. There is no sense of having witnessed ‘star quality’ by the end, but watching both the jokes and acting is enjoyable. Nina Seale

King's Theatre Run Ended

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na Lamont Stewart’s Men Should Weep, often described as a protofeminist social commentary, depicts the harsh realities of living in Glaswegian tenements during the depression. It details the lives of the Morrison family; Mother Maggie, Father John, 7 of their children, Granny and Maggie’s sister Lilly, and their many friends and neighbours. Although the play initially depicts Maggie’s family in hardship, the family overall are perceived to be happy. Their happiness is up-ended by the arrival of Alec, their eldest son, and his abusive wife Isa. This leaves eleven of them trapped in the tenement, with Granny being forced to move out. Great tensions ensue between the characters who must support and tolerate each other in order to survive. Stewart’s play has long been popular with audiences and this revival sees yet another powerful adaptation, bringing the struggles back to life for contemporary audiences. While superficially the play focuses

THE ART DOCTOR with Anna Feintuck

fear is the imminence of a gruelling lesson beforehand, but it turns out to be easy. Actually, all you really have to do is to dip a stamp into some colour, stick it on a bare spot and happily rejoice over the creation. At the beginning the shapes remind me more of garbled muddle until the ruler differentiates the shapes and turns the jumble into a geometrical pattern a bit like some sort of dwarf galaxy. There does seem to be a connection to astronomy in this process. “My work draws from a range of influences, primarily astronomy, geometry, coded language, and graphic musical notation,” so Rachel Barron says. The new print apparatus was not as spectacular as its name implied but turned printmaking into a ludic game. Why not assemble your own universe instead of wondering about the twinkling stars? Rachel Barron’s hands-on, arty experience is definitely worth a visit.

on living in extreme poverty, Stewart’s amazing talent is highlighted through the intertwining explorations of love, the evils of capitalism and the high prevalence of domestic violence within a play highly concerned with feminine strength. Maggie expertly shows the resourcefulness of women compared to the highly emasculated figures of her husband and son. All actors performed their roles exceptionally, clinging to the embedded humour and offering periods of relief from the often troubling poignancy of the play itself. The director’s addition of Arthur Johnstone’s folk songs, which detailed recollections of working class life beautifully, provided a welcome break from the intensely emotional plot. The container set utilised only a tiny portion of the stage, highlighting the cramped and claustrophobic conditions of tenement living. The National Theatre of Scotland’s production is a testament to the talents of a female Scottish writer unfortunately often overlooked. Stewart’s classic will continue to emphasise to modern audiences the hardships of poverty experienced during the depression, many of which are unfortunately still present within the world today. Emma Ainsworth

This week: boring clothes, Scottish colourists and terrible puns Dear Art Doctor,

KATHLEEN MEANEY

I love wearing black, grey, and occasionally beige, but recently I’ve been wondering if I should branch out. I’m worried I’m boring – my flatmates laugh at how neutral the drying rack is after I’ve done my laundry. I like my clothes, and I don’t want to change too much, but I’d like my outfits to be a little more lively. Do you think you might be afraid of colour? If so, I’ve come up with a three step programme of artistic inspiration to wean you onto it. One: accept that monochrome is beautiful, and an active choice rather than a safety net. Have a look at Ken-

neth Dingwall’s Grey Surface: a build up of layers and layers of grey paint, representing the desire to hide away. This is not what you want to aspire to – take inspiration instead from something like Alex Katz’s Winter Branch. This is a beautiful, delicate image; it is striking in its simplicity – just like your favourite outfits. And you might find you’re ready to branch out... Two: add one or two more colours to your visual vocabulary. For this, I prescribe Richard Hamilton’s Trichromatic Flower Piece. His use of colour is rich and in no way brash – try swapping a black item of clothing for something in the opulent Prussian blue you can see here. The transition can be gentle – when you feel ready,

maybe move onto a deep, dark red as well. Three: a whole-hearted embrace of colour. What could be better for this than the Scottish Colourists? This quartet of early twentieth-century painters used amazingly vivid colours. They loved bright tones and big, expressive brush strokes. Once you can say that your sartorial inspiration for the day is something like F.C.B Cadell’s The Blue Fan, you’ll know that you’ve well and truly broken free of the monochrome. Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.

This week's cultural spectrum.

Winsome Winslet

ast week Kate Winslet was in the audience for a student show at Edinburgh University’s Bedlam Theatre; I’m not joking. This came as a surprise to everyone, but particularly to those of us in the cast who almost keeled over with shock. There we were, essentially enjoying something that is primarily a hobby, when an Oscarwinning actress came to the theatre and watched us perform. The experience was incredibly humbling but also massively invigorating. The gap from any theatre, let alone student-run amateur theatre, to Hollywood is one of light-years. Very few people who join a university theatre society think they will get anywhere near that place in anything else but a pipe dream. This experience has in no way bridged that gap for the cast or the production team, nor has it even reaffirmed any dreams for stage or screen success, but it certainly made us smile. It made us feel proud and dumbstruck that we had performed in front of someone who has been so successful in that particular world. Everyone on stage, whether professional or amateur, is always trying to better themselves, to improve in one way or another, in order to hone their craft and progress. To have one of the best in the business, who has won an award to that effect, watch you, pushes forward that same desire, simply to get better. The visit also acted as a reality check. To have someone so revered in attendance makes you apprehensive about your own abilities. It made us chuckle that she was in the audience, as we found out afterwards. If we had discovered this fact before the curtain had gone up, I’m pretty confident there would have been some reservations about going on stage. It is the same in any profession. You never want to show what you have created to the leaders of the field, or to your heroes. They may not like it. This visit compounded emotions and made everyone think a little, but most of all it elated them. The only thing the director could say about the event was “that was a thing.” Indeed it was, one that I’m not sure any involved will forget. Thom Louis

Look oot for... There is a triple bill at Bedlam theatre on Wednesday running from 2.30pm into the evening, showing a selection of plays by famous playwrights. Theatre Paradok are putting on Gormenghast at Trinity App (just off the Royal Mile) from Monday 'til Saturday. Beauty and the Beast, the Lyceum's Christmas show, begins on Friday. The Talbot Rice Gallery have started exhibiting their most recent collection, Beholder, including work by Karla Black and Yoko Ono, which promises to be a very exciting exhibition.

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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JOANNA LISOWIEC

Jumping in the deep end

Ali Quaile talks to Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe about how to make a film on a limited budget

twilight: Breaking dawn - part 1 Directed by bill condon  he only thing more impressive in T Twilight than Taylor Lautner’s abs is how Stephenie Meyer wrote four books about a girl’s quest to lose her virginity. Bella finally gets her dying wish in Breaking Dawn Part I as she loses more than her maidenhood - her sanity and life - after she falls pregnant with a vampire-human baby. The result is scarier than the dialogue.

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More romantic than risqué – still, it should give Twihards their hardon." The Twilight world is one of its own with flannel-wearing werewolves, therefore it has to be judged on its own merit. Breaking Dawn is the best of the films, despite it being the worst book. The novel is Meyer’s 756 page pro-life agenda and the film executes this material well. Director Bill Condon transforms the series from a cheesy Youtube style tribute to a legitimate film complete with dazzling cinematography, makeup that makes the characters look like they’ve slept in the last century (even if they haven’t) as well as getting the best

A HUMBLING TRUTH: "The only way to learn how to make a film is to make a film". ing to do some paid work, and were able to cover the extra,” says Kingsley. Evidently a lot of determination and hard work was required to get the project off the ground, yet this in turn opened up a considerable amount of possibilities that wouldn’t have been available had they received funds from a production company. As Kingsley notes, “it can be hard working with a small budget, but in a lot of ways it forced us to be more creative. Restrictions can be helpful. Also the more money you have to make a film, the less creative freedom you have. So although we had very little money, we performances out of his actors. Kristen Stewart is no longer blinking away in Edward’s sparkle, but convincingly conveys both ecstasy and pain without seeming like she’s orgasming, as was a problem in the past. Lautner doesn’t use his black t-shirts to express brooding Jacob, but actually manages to emote. Let’s just say that Robert Pattinson’s six-month exercise regimen for the honeymoon paid off. Having three strong leads saves the film, which loses direction faster than Jacob can lose his shirt. It’s sensory overload. The CullenSwan wedding gives the Royal Wedding a run for its money. Bella’s wedding gown is quickly disregarded during the honeymoon, which is more romantic than risqué – still, it should give Twihards their hard-on. The beauty of the first half is ruthlessly cast off like all of Bella’s respect for her own life as it turns into a visceral horror film with her pregnancy. What was impossible to imagine in the novel is so vivid in the film that it’s difficult to watch. The star rating of this film may seem paradoxical, but so is Twilight. Breaking Dawn is not for virgins of the series, but for those who have been bitten, it will satisfy. Tess Malone

All films were reviewed at Cineworld

had total creative freedom.” Black Pond is loosely based on a play they wrote at university with a couple of friends, but had to be changed considerably due to its inclusion of burning castles and helicopters which would have been too expensive for a first feature. Sharpe, who wrote the screenplay, comments, “we decided to take the core characters from the play and to tell a story with a more manageable plot. What we ended up with was quite unexpected in a way. But it’s a funny thing because you don’t actually have very much control over how a story plays out. You need to have the

discipline to throw away the ideas that are bad or unrealistic, but it’s not like you can force yourself to have a good idea. You kind of just have to wait for the ideas to arrive in their own time. It’s about getting yourself out the way I think.” As a means of saving money, the pair have been distributing the film themselves, organising their own screenings and dealing with the cinemas directly. This way they have been able to make sure that every penny made from the release can go straight back to their investors. Surprisingly, this method has been working, as

Kingsley comments, “we’ve never done anything like this before, but it seems to be going well so far. All of our London screenings sold out, and this week in Edinburgh is the second week on our tour of British cities.” It seems clear that their success boils down to a strong desire to achieve what they want. They represent the average Joes who get to high places through sheer determination. As Sharpe aptly points out, “we only really broke into film by making a film. Neither of us went to film school, and we didn’t meet any filmmakers or get anywhere with proper film funding organisations.” For those willing to try and get into the movie industry, Kinsley’s advice is simple, “first find a job that leaves you some free time and then fill that free time by making films. Anyone can talk about being a filmmaker but the only way to prove you can do it is by showing people the films you’ve made. Equipment has never been so cheap. As long as you have good ideas and are motivated enough to make them happen, you’ll get there eventually.” With the world’s first low budget epic comedy blockbuster in the making, it is clear that Sharpe and Kingsley are on their way up. Their passion is nothing short of admirable and the results they achieve impressive, it is surely only a matter of time before they become household British names. Black Pond will be showing at the Cameo from November 25th – December 1st.

littlewhitelies

filled. For most, the idea is dismissed as being too difficult or not financially viable, instead accepting the reality that they will never be the new Tarantino or Scorsese. However, for young filmmakers Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe, the opposite seems to be the case. As their first feature film Black Pond hits cinemas this month, The Student caught up with the pair to ask them how they did it. Having met at university, where they wrote and directed plays and comedy together, they both had a passion to make a film but struggled to fit in the time required around their current day jobs. Despite this hindrance, in 2009 they made a short called Gokiburi (Cockroach) which was set in Japan and made using only a script, reflector board and prosumer camera. As Sharpe recalls, “making the short film basically just showed us that the only way to learn how to make a film is to make a film.” The short proved to be a success, with a production company offering them £50,000 to make a feature. Unfortunately, this fell through but didn’t deter the pair who decided to fund the film themselves. “Some of it was money we saved up from our day jobs, and the rest we raised by writing hundreds of letters and emails - trying to raise our target of £20,000. When we ended up going over budget by £5,000, we took time off during edit-

yorkshirepost

many people’s dream to make Ithista isfilm, but in the majority of cases is not something that is ever ful-

INTRODUCING: The Chris Langham rap project

Black pond Directed by tom kingsley & will Sharpe  s a directorial debut from Will A Sharpe and Tom Kingsley, this decidedly British tragicomedy is

eerily odd, yet wonderfully amusing. Meshing the tragedy of the mundane and the farce of absurdist comedy, Black Pond offers a cynically telling story of a middle-aged couple’s descent into a life devoid of love. When a stranger dies at their dinner table, the family is totally broken following the ensuing police inquest and media frenzy. Christopher Langham delivers a suitably low key and occasionally intense performance as Tom. Together with his wife, Sophie Thompson

(Amanda Hadingue), they have lost their lust for life and their love for each other, representing an unsettling and possible reality. Their interaction is appropriately troubling. The documentary style segments of the film use a strange straight-faced humour, but essentially underpin the overall realism, which is crucial to the depiction of the Thompson’s inadequate family relationship. It makes the tragedy and the comedy simultaneously more poignant. These two elements are expertly fused. When Langham meets an offbeat stranger, Blake (Colin Hurley), the possibility of happiness is introduced, but it is implicitly shown he has led his own life of inevitable decline. Blake’s awkward unintentional humour and demeanour is almost reminiscent of Zach Galifianakis - he even has the beard. The one openly funny character

is Eric (Simon Amstell), the pseudopsychotherapist. His delivery and wit is razor sharp and it is hard not to laugh at his cutting remarks. He laughs in the face of the futility of human existence; the closest the film gets to laugh out loud comedy. In contrast to Amstell, understated comedy washed with the dead intensity of the characters’ situations typifies the film. The dead and prolonged silence at the family dog’s funeral highlights the odd, depressing yet laughable blandness of their lives. Black Pond illustrates a portrayal of a dysfunctional family being slowly torn apart by the inevitable decline of life. It is a mesmerising, thought-provoking blend of beautiful images and comedy. It immerses the audience to the extent that by the end, it is like emerging from a wonderful dream. Daniel Scott Lintott

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Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Film 23

Directed by Roger Donaldson 

CUTPRINT REVIEW

SPOILT: The kids couldn't believe they'd been denied a Flake

SNOWTOWN Directed by JUSTIN KURZEL  a week when Twilight fans will Iovernflock to the multiplex and swoon pretty boys, Snowtown could not

provide more of a contrast. Based on the real-life ‘Bodies in Barrels’ murders that took place between 1992 and 1999 in South Australia, this film is an unflinching examination of how a young man became a serial killer. With this in mind, it comes as no surprise that the film is not an easy watch. Snowtown is far from the realm of slasher-flicks such as Saw and Hostel, but there are several gut-wrenchingly graphic moments. This is not, however, what the story is really about. Jamie (Lucas Pittaway) is a sixteen year old boy living in the poverty-stricken suburbs of Adelaide with his two younger brothers and a struggling single mum. When John (Daniel Henshall), a man who seems to make his mother happy comes into their lives, Jamie warms to this charismatic father figure. In

THE BLACK POWER MIXTAPE 1967-1975 Directed by Göran Olsson

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lack Power Mixtape is a documentary composed of a treasure trove of recently found footage, shot by Swedish journalists from the period. The 16mm film has been recomposed by director Göran Olsson to give an outside and European perspective of the Black Power movement. Devised into nine chapters, it plots the evolution of the movement and its three main themes: the pacifist theology, birth of reactional violence and plague of the emerging drug culture. The first thing to note here is that the footage is beautiful. The spools have been cut and crafted with care and the retro feel of the 16mm is completely immersive, whilst the music gives you a real flavour of the period. Filmed in colour and black and white, all the footage and interviews are original with just a few commentaries added to the mix. The film immediately throws you in at the deep end, beginning with the speeches of SNCC leader Stokely Carmichael. Arguing succinctly and passionately for things that we take for granted now, it’s almost impossible to believe. Yet this is where the film truly shows its brilliance. It does not fall into the trap of many documentaries by lecturing or disconnecting from its

turn, John wants to take the boy under his wing and guide him through life as a mentor. Unfortunately, it becomes increasingly clear to Jamie that the kind-faced John has a more violent, dangerous side. Over time, Jamie becomes entangled in a web of fraud, malice and murder until he can hardly recognise what he has become. Whilst the controversial subject matter obviously makes for a less than enjoyable viewing experience, this film is undeniably flawless. The acting is impeccable, its grim naturalism absolutely engrossing. It is a truly unsettling story of manipulation and loneliness, of a boy’s desperation for some kind of meaning and affection - even if that affection is coming from a sadistic murderer. It’s incredibly well-made, with a shrewd sense of detail and atmosphere. Its understated, stark style is chilling, and ensures that the story will stay with you after you head back out into daylight. Snowtown raises serious questions about poverty, sexual abuse, and the line between good and evil; it is all too easy to look away, but try not to. Kirsty Wareing audience. With some truly astounding and candid footage it shows Carmichael singing with his friends, chatting to his mother and all the day-to-day things so often overlooked; suddenly you are aware that this is a real and ordinary man, not some figurehead or disconnected shell. You would want to be his friend, and it is this that really pulls you into the movie, to truly empathise with those on the screen.

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The footage is beautiful. The spools have been cut and crafted with care." This also causes you to reel in shock at the police brutality and treatment of the minority. This handling of the delicate subject matter continues through Malcolm X and Angela Davis, giving a fascinating view of the time. Rather than alienating or corrupting the issues, the outsider viewpoint seems to be the more accurate, rather than being clouded by emotion or preconception. The view the film takes has its critics and it answers them within the film. The only criticism is that it does lose some of its personal touch around the middle, getting a little bogged down in some of the complexities of the issues. But, overall this is a fantastic watch; fascinating and touching. James Mann

ustice charts the perilous journey of high-school teacher, Mr. Gerard (Nicolas Cage) as he becomes reluctantly involved in the activities of a criminal organisation that aims to assassinate those villains who aren’t sufficiently punished by society’s legal system. Gerard experiences the traumatic aftermath of the rape of his wife and is pushed into accepting an offer by an enigmatic individual called Simon (Guy Pearce). Simon is more than happy to take care of the rapist and only expects a small favour from Gerard, in return for his act of vengeance. Unsurprisingly, Gerard gets more than he bargained for and finds himself hunted by both the police and Simon. Justice maintains an effective level of suspense. Particularly tense are the film’s many chase scenes, in which Gerard is forced to run through harsh

highway traffic. Nicolas Cage’s acting is convincing; he does a good job of conveying the desperation of his character Gerard, who maintains a sense of innocence despite his increasing alienation. On the other hand, Guy Pearce’s character was uninspiring. Whilst he adequately projected the villainous nature of Simon, the performance lacked multi-dimensionality. The film also offers too many jumps between shots; this has the effect of leaving the audience dazzled, but in a frustrating and unsettling way. The location of Justice is a post-Katrina New Orleans, where the city’s significant crime statistics are meant to provide relevance to the chaos of the film. However, the absurdity of its Hollywood plot makes the film’s attempt to draw parallels between the horror of its content and the reality of 21st century America somewhat unconvincing. Therefore, despite Donaldson’s efforts to make the film as exciting as possible, Justice is a relatively forgettable experience. Joe Smith

filmofilia

Justice

DISGUSTED: Was that a cornflake in Nicolas' beard?

never stand still Directed bY RON HONSA

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his dance documentary by Ron Honsa, which had its European Premiere last Friday at the Filmhouse as part of the Dance Film Festival, kept its promise: there wasn’t a moment when the dancers or the story itself stood still. Featuring a long list of renowned dancers and artistic directors, the movie tells the story of a prestigious dance centre in the unlikely location of the woods of Becket, Massachusetts. Somehow, choreographer Ted Shawn turned a collection of barns he purchased during the Great Depression into a Mecca for dance, the Jacob’s Pillow dance school. Since the 1930s it has hosted the oldest dance festival in the U.S., the Jacob’s Pillow Dance Festival. After Honsa’s first dance documentary The Men Who Danced: The Story of Ted Shawn’s Male Dancers, Honsa continues along the same theme but focuses more on the dance itself, and how dance matters to the students training at the Pillow. Never Stand Still, rather than flatly commenting on the art of dance, takes us on a journey through the diverse styles performed in the Pillow, ranging from Charleston and modern dance to ballet with multi-cultural influences. We are allowed surprisingly close to the dancers; we follow stars like Rasta Thomas backstage, watch

them train, see interviews with them, and are shown footage of intriguing performances held at the Festival. All of this authentically conveys the vibratory atmosphere of the Pillow without it appearing overly glamourised.

“

The compelling nature of this documentary lies in the editing of archived footage of performances." The compelling nature of this documentary also lies in the editing of archived footage of performances on the one hand, and candid opinions expressed by the students and choreographers at Jacob’s Pillow on the other. Honsa successfully avoids repetition and lengthiness by finding the right balance between narration and interestingly shot scenes, surpassing expectations of yet another dance documentary. Although this will probably be most enjoyed by dance fans, it can be just as appreciated by documentary-lovers; it is altogether a well-produced and entertaining piece, with humorous interviews and a stunning cinematography. It leaves you with a deep desire to see this secretive place in the woods which almost appears too good to be true. Elizabeth Harris

Classic Cult here was a tangible air of disapT pointment amongst fans and journalists earlier this year when

George Clooney told a press conference at the Venice Film Festival that there was no chance of him running for President. “Why not?” they cried. “If Arnold Schwarzenegger can have a go at American politics then surely George can!” It can’t be denied that the thought of George Clooney as President is rather appealing: he’s smart, liberal and looks mighty fine in a suit. His main reason for refusing, however, was simple: “I have a really good job,” he stated to the deflated festival crowd. And a good job he certainly has: an Oscar-winning actor and Oscar-nominated writer and director, Clooney has been one of Hollywood’s most desirable for well over a decade and he only seems to be getting better with age. Clooney’s first major film role was in Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988) a film so terrifyingly poor that it currently holds a 0% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Clooney didn’t allow this disappointing start to stand in his way, however, and in the early 1990s his role as Doug Ross - the rebellious doc with a heart of gold - in the TV series ER helped make him hot property with the movie studios. The ‘charming rebel’ performance that Clooney honed back in those early ER days has in a way become the classic Clooney performance. Steven Soderbergh’s films Out of Sight and Ocean’s Eleven have provided great platforms for this go-to Clooney role and his onscreen chemistry in these films with his costars Jennifer Lopez and Julia Roberts managed to both impress critics and melt the hearts of a legion of female fans. In recent years Clooney again portrayed a flawed charmer in the critically acclaimed Up in the Air. In this anti-romcom for the modern age Clooney brought new depths to his archetypal film role and earned himself an Oscar nomination. Despite his success in this archetypal role Clooney has never been afraid to try his hand at different genres – with varying degrees of success. His attempt at the superhero genre in 1999’s Batman & Robin is perhaps his worst film role to date and is a film that makes it very clear why Christopher Nolan gave Robin the heave-ho. Clooney had more success in the quirky comedy O Brother Where Art Thou? – the Coen Brothers’ inventive re-imagining of Homer’s Odyssey. It was in this film that Clooney first showed that he had real acting chops and revealed that he was an ambitious actor who was willing to take risks. Clooney handled the step into writing and directing with an ease that few actors could manage. His impressive directorial debut, Good Night, and Good Luck was a powerful film dealing with the McCarthy era and its effect on the media. The film successfully established Clooney as a political and intelligent film maker and his work on this year’s critically acclaimed The Ides of March further cemented this impressive reputation. Evidently, George Clooney is one of a rare breed: a Hollywood star who is a firm favourite with critics and audiences alike. Sally Pugh

Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

24 Music 24

Glasgow hears songs from above Tess Malone is won over by St Vincent's quirky charms and neat beats at Glasgow's hipper-than-thou Stereo

espite being the queen of the indie music world, no one really understands Annie Clark. Critics are desperate to categorise the St. Vincent front woman as a doe-eyed musician of dissonance. Hipsters classify her erudite lyrics that reference Arrested Development as covetously cool. As a result, the crowd at Glasgow’s hipper-than-thou venue, Stereo, affirmed this. They were too blasé to notice that Clark was eating soup in the upstairs cafe – the only indication that she was the main act was her leather hotpants. For the rest of the evening, Clark defied the conventions surrounding her.

“

These songs crystallise St Vincent's appeal - delicate talent juxtaposed with a shock of fury - and explain why Clark holds her indie crown" The most striking member of St. Vincent’s band was an enigmatic singer, the support, Cate le Bon. Her Nico-esque vocals washed over the crowd, but demand more than one guitarist. A back-up band could let her reach haunting proportions. St. Vincent know they will never be mainstream, but Clark loves playing with the tropes as the band does on their latest and most accessible album

Favourite Album bruce springsteen Born in the USA COLUMBIA overhear people talk about how Ilove,often they will never truly get over their first to which I generally respond with

my trademark shake of the head, roll of the eyes, exhale combo. This is, of course, unless they happen to be personifying their first album, in which case the above combo is null and void. The ownership of a first album represents the birth of a music lover’s lifelong struggle to find the perfect LP. Luckily, this quest was, for me,

Strange Mercy. Opening with "Surgeon", Clark played a cheesy guitar riff while singing “Best find a surgeon, can’t cut me open”, a reference to something Marilyn Monroe said. This song is classic Clark - clever lyrics combined with corny chords that manages to reinvent the two and create good music to dance to. The problem is Clark attracts an audience that is too nonplussed to dance. This was especially the problem when she played a cover of "She is Beyond Good and Evil"; a song demanding the audience rock out, but only left a few toes tapping. Nevertheless, Clark tried to woo the audience through compliments - “You guys are an unusually attractive crowd” - and rambling anecdotes about breaking into graveyards. The conversational Clark is such a contrast from the cacophonous one that it keeps the audience guessing. Effectively, this turns the already intimately small Stereo basement into an even more personal space. Everyone was transfixed as Clark duelled with her theremin on the intense "Northern Lights" and turned "The Party" from a sombre rock song to a fractured fairytale with just the help of her keyboardist. Clark operates on controlled anger, swearing more during the set than usual, but has matured enough as an artist to play a clipped "Your Lips are Red" instead of subjecting the audience to reverb. These songs crystallise St. Vincent’s appeal - delicate talent juxtaposed with a shock of fury - and explain why Clark holds her indie crown.

a non-existent one – I hit gold first time. The album cover, oozing a classic coolness I have yet to see reproduced, is what won me over at first. I rushed home, eager to bask in the sounds of my newly acquired album and to my delight was met with the seductively raspy vocals of a man I would later come to affectionately know as “The Boss”. The opening track "Born in the U.S.A." is undeniably American in both nature and title and the magnificent combination of pompous drums and rapturous keys commands speaker-blowing volume for full appreciation. From this point on, it was obvious to me that Bruce Springsteen was who I wanted to be when I grew up. This led to some dramatic life changes that included stealing the kitchen scissors to make some knee holes in my new black

PRETTY GIRL: Not that we're predictable in our photo choice or anything jeans and stealing a red bandana from the dog’s neck, both of which saw me in trouble with mother dearest, but hey, that’s rock’n’roll. 15 years on and I can now appreciate how Springsteen, as an artist, is an American institution that represents all that was good in 1980s rock music. Paired with his incredible musicianship is his story telling abilities as a lyricist that I believe reaches its pinnacle on Born in the U.S.A.. Tracks like "My hometown", "I’m on fire" and "Glory Days" paint such an intricate picture that it is almost impossible to remain impartial from the stories they tell. These, along with tracks like "Dancing in the dark", that can cause even the stiffest foot to tap along, make this LP, in my eyes, perfect. Max Sanderson

LOOKING COOL: But moments later, Bruce was arrested for negligence behind the wheel.

Live VINTAGE TROUBLE HMV Picture House 18 November  ollowing their first album release F last year, and tours with Brian May and Bon Jovi, Vintage Trouble

are back on the road, on their own this time, bringing their mixture of soul and rock ‘n’ roll to the masses. Vintage Trouble’s music harks back to the time of juke joints and they bring this feel to a gig, making you feel like you are in an - admittedly very large - speakeasy. They kick things off in a big way, opening the show with two new songs and giving the audience a chance to get on their dancing shoes. Slipping back into songs like "You Better Believe It" and "Still and Always Will Be", are full of the boogie and the “dirty ideas”, as singer Ty Taylor puts it, that rock ‘n’ roll is all about. They slow things down with the soulful "Gracefully", before moving back into the new material they have ready for their second album, due out next year. Throughout all this, there is no let up for the crowd who are encouraged to tap, sing and clap their way through each and every song. Ty has the stage presence of someone who has studied both James Brown and Michael Jackson in great detail, constantly encouraging the crowd. The

showmanship of the band is remarkable considering the short period of time they have been together. They then take a moment to implore the crowd to stand up for what is right in their lives, and while this does sound quite preachy on paper, it comes across authentically on stage. This leads into a mesmerizing rendition of the soulful "Not Alright by Me" and "Nobody Told Me". A mixture of new and old material plays us out until the end, including the romantic and clean cut "Nancy Lee", and the romantic and not so clean cut "Jezzabella".

“

They show absolutely no sign of fatigue despite having been on stage for nearly two hours." For the encore they kick off with a rocking version of their hit "Blues Hand Me Down", where they show absolutely no sign of fatigue despite having been on stage for nearly two hours. The evening’s activities are finished off with an extended version of "Run Outta You", with each member of the band leaving the stage one by one, getting a well-deserved standing ovation. Niall Carville

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper �� Tuesday �� November �� 22 �� 2011� music@studentnewspaper.org �� studentnewspaper.org

Music 25

Albums

william shatner

Seeking Major Tom CLEOPATRA RECORDS

seasick steve



Walkin' Man RHINO

he list of musicians that William T Shatner has pulled together to create Seeking Major Tom is really as-

 easick Steve is back with a collecS tion of his best songs, covering his career from his first album release, up

to this year’s release, You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks. This also comes with a DVD of a gig at Brixton Academy, which is the main incentive for hardcore fans to buy the album. To those who haven’t been seduced by this ex-hobo playing songs about his life on the road on his Three-String Trance Wonder, this is the perfect introduction. It has been put together with the listener in mind: it is not a simple chronological effort just thrown together; each track has been carefully selected to compliment the following selection. Starting off with the classic, bluesy "Dog House Boogie" which launched

summer Camp Welcome to Condale MOSHI MOSHI

 late 2009, a synth version of the IfornFlamingos’ 1959 hit "I only have eyes you" by a band known as Summer

Camp began to appear on music blogs and with every new posting came new guesswork about the identity of the chillwave newcomers. Rumours came in all shapes and sizes; pinning them to Chicago, Brooklyn and even as a group of teenagers from Stockholm who had met at a Summer Camp. Their secrecy, which they claim came about by accident, was due to the band being: “nostalgic for mystery” and worked wonders for their explosive appearance onto the blogosphere, amid furious speculation and hype. It wasn’t until 2010 that an independent music magazine spoiled the party and revealed the true identity of the London-based duo; former solo artist Jeremy Warmsley, and Elizabeth Sankey, a former editor of Platform magazine.

Singles

him as a star, the album moves on to Steve rocking out with the Level Devils on "Cheap" and showing off his Diddley Bo skills on the aptly titled "Diddley Bo". Steve’s greatest gift is his ability to tell the different stories of his life through his songs. When you are listening to him playing slide and singing about drinking "Thunderbird", you do not feel like it is contrived. His honesty about life and its hardship is refreshing. He also shows his versatility by bringing out the acoustic guitar and exploring his softer side with the

romantic "Walkin' Man" and sorrowful "Xmas Prison Blues". However as mentioned above, the main reason for the diehard fans to purchase this is the live DVD. The gig has attained near legendary status with Seasick Steve fans due to the numerous reasons for delays in its release. It is the perfect way to finish off a brilliant CD, with an equally wonderful concert capturing Steve and the gang at their best.

Those familiar with Warmsely’s previous work will be aware of his melodic pop writing abilities, which he carries with ease into this new project. This coupled with Sankey’s Debbie Harry inspired vocals creates the framework for an undeniably eighties, synth pop extravaganza which is exactly what their debut LP, Welcome to Condale, is. Having listed John Cusack as one of their major influences it is obvious that the duo are massive fans of eighties brat pack movies (many of the tracks start with short audio clips) and this has been wonderfully translated into their music. The majority of tracks on the album sneak into a soundtrack of the aforementioned movies unnoticed and the LP manages to marvellously transport you to a different place altogether. "Summer Camp", with its dreamy synths and organic love story is the crowning example of this; transporting the listener back to the summer of teenage romance of a younger year, while "I want you" shows the darker side of young love: ‘If I could/ I would kiss your lips so hard/ your entire face

would bruise’ with an appropriate dose of overshadowingsteel synths.panther "Better off without you" is a great opening track that sets the scene perfectly and had me dancing around my room like Kevin Bacon in Footloose as did "Down", while the astral "Ghost Train" would provide an opportunity for a slow dance at any prom. The only criticism of the album is a general absence of Warmsley’s vocals. "Losing My Mind" shows how the duo can marry to perfection his awkwardness, coupled with her shamefully over-confident vocal styles, and it is a pity that this was not exploited more. While listening to this album, I constantly found myself delving into my past and I think that’s where the delight in this collection of tracks comes from. The duo, with love-centred teenage lyrics, and an endless multitude of eighties inspired arrangements, manage to exquisitely create a nostalgic haven that wraps up the listener, and leaves them with a reminiscent twinkle in their eye.

Niall Carville

Max Sanderson

tonishing – everyone from American country pop stars Brad Paisley and Sheryl Crow to rock and roll royalty like Richie Blackmore (Rainbow and Deep Purple) and Zakk Wylde (Ozzy Osbourne and Black Label Society). The songs he has chosen to cover include everything from Black Sabbath’s "Iron Man" to Duran Duran’s "Planet Earth": there’s truly something for everyone. However upon your first encounter with this album you can’t help wondering what the hell you just listened to. It left insanity behind a long time ago. Shatner’s distinctive voice, which any Star Trek fan will recognise in an instant, is a bit of an oddity. He doesn’t so much sing the lyrics as speak them

TO BOLDLY GO: With the most obvious reference you can think of

the wombats

ed sheeran

Rammstein Mein Land UNIVERSAL

1996 14TH FLOOR RECORDS

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Lego House WARNER MUSIC

to you and looking over the track listing it’s hard to see how it’ll work. Yet, somehow, it does. Whether it’s the somehow even madder than the original "Bohemian Rhapsody" or his crack at "Rocket Man" it at the very least will gain a reaction from you. More often than not this reaction is hilarity – and what’s wrong with that? Presumably Shatner is well aware of how ridiculous this whole thing is - or at least I hope he is - and it gives the album a charm that a lot of music misses these days. This is a group of guys getting together and having a blast while putting a new shine on a collection of fantastic songs. I defy any of you to put on his "Iron Man" cover and not crack a smile when he launches into his best Ozzy impression. Plus, with Zakk Wylde on guitar you can’t really go wrong. This album isn’t going to win any awards and probably won’t even have you listening to it the whole way through on a regular basis. Yet if you do decide to give it a chance you’ll soon find yourself singing along with Shatner and, in all probability, laughing along with him too. Stuart Iversen

one direction Gotta Be You SYCO



nd it’s dark in a cold December, but hors d’oeuvres of a single from the ndie-rockers The Wombats hide ive x Justin Bieber + token curls A I’ve got you to keep me warm” is A German Metalheads’ upcoming I behind the synth-pop safety screen F + a penchant for chinos = Simon the endearingly soppy hook murmured greatest hits album, this takes a slightly for their latest release, offering a dull Cowell’s latest money-spinning tween by Ed Sheeran melodically on his third single from debut album +. Known for his experimental mix of rap and Damien Rice-esque acoustic guitar-led melodies, here Sheeran sticks firmly to the latter of the two styles; using the time-tested charming formula of singer songwriters that is scientifically proven to mesmerise ladies and make boys grumble “you ginger genius”. Apparently not even Rupert Grint is impervious to Sheeran’s allure, as evidenced in the witty identity-theft themed video for the single. Sheeran sings about the fragility of first love, and begs for a second chance, using knowingly winsome childhood references. It’s hard to imagine any girl that wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of Sheeran’s delicate softly-spoken pleas for forgiveness. Yes Ed, of course I’ll keep you warm.

different musical direction from their biggest hits, “Sonne” and “Ich Will”. Removed from their typical sprawling, epic industrial metal choruses, "Mein Land" maintains the synths and electronic percussion which made the previous singles stand out. The guitar and melody (if anything Till Lindemann sings can be described as a melody) recalls more of an industrial strength System of a Down, bearing a particularly striking resemblance to "The Prison Song", or "Old School Hollywood". Like these songs it has quite a catchy verse which builds up nicely, although unfortunately, as is the case with much of Rammstein’s work, lies outside the canon known to most of us. The chorus is quite drab and tuneless, and lacks the epic German crescendo which makes a great Rammstein song.

and forgettable memoir on the joy of adolescence and depressing reality of adulthood. Through their solid yet predictable debut album, the Liverpudlians came close to establishing an original identity within the indie-rock scene. It is clear from this track however that their ideas barrel has run empty. The radio-friendly arrangement is festival-toilet nauseating, whilst the lyrics are as inspiring as their content. On top of this drudgery, the chorus backing vocals are token and dire. Expect this song to be lapped up by harmless radio stations and The One Show for its ‘bad-boy-turning-lifearound-one-step-at-a-time’ documentary segment. The depressing reality to adulthood today is in fact the great volume of air-time this uninspiring song will unfortunately receive.

sensation. Bursting into the charts at number one this summer with their infectious debut single "What Makes You Beautiful", One Direction are set to steal the hearts of young (and not so appropriately aged) girls everywhere. If first single was their "Wannabe", new single "Gotta Be You" is definitely One Direction’s "2 Become 1": a winter warmer complete with string section destined to be the theme track to countless first kisses at school discos. Despite slightly bizarre lyrics indicative of thesaurus abuse (“I’m the foolish one you anointed with your heart”), Harry Styles & co. more than compensate with swoon-worthy impossibly highpitched oohing and aahing harmonies in the chorus. As adorable sounding as they are in looks. Bieber Fever? I’d rather have a One Direction injection.

Mairi Innes

Gregor Cubie

Joseff Morgan

Mairi Innes

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Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

The sky really is the limit

LOST

Shoshana Kessler finds that Pan Am's 'First Class' service is not quite what it said in the brochure Pan Am

BBC2 Wednesdays, 9pm



IT V

ITV2 (2009) tvlinks.com



ecently in The Student one sardonic reviewer (me, as it happens) observed that putting a show on ITV2 is admitting to failure even before the opening credits of the first show roll. While this is about as close as you get in the world of television to an E=MC2 iron law, there is one brilliant exception to it. Admist the dross that clogs the ITV 2 (and 1 and 3 and 4) schedules came in 2009 a little gem of comedy that has gone almost entirely unnoticed, despite its famous-ish cast and string of celebrity guest stars. FM follows the staff of Skin, a small-time indie radio station, with Chris O’Dowd (The IT Crowd) as a grumpy failed club DJ, Kevin Bishop (he hadn’t appeared in much before, but Wikipedia lists him as playing ‘gay drugged man’ in an episode of Peep Show) as fading former boy band hearthrob Dom and Nina Sosanya (Teachers) as the station’s no-nonsense producer, Jane. Whilst I assumed that ITV had pretty much given up on comedy years ago, the writing here is tight and the humour sharp and Inbetweenersy (“We split up over artistic disagreements. I shagged his mum. He disagreed.”) with some brilliant studio banter between the three main characters. Also a real band appears every episode, providing an unexpected but always welcome interlude, with the Guillemots, The Wombats and The Charlatans taking their turns at playing what feels like a gig in your living room. More often than not, guest stars are a bad idea: they tend to upset the ecology of a show and prove an unwelcome intrusion from the real world into fiction that the writers have spent time and effort building up (see Ricky Gervais in The Simpsons), but FM gets it right. The more that I think about it, the more ill-fitting FM seems for ITV 2. There’s something really quite innovative and dynamic about it, but putting it on there at 11pm meant that hardly anybody saw it, and those who did probably didn’t appreciate it: it’s the equivalent of putting hardcore porn on BBC 4 or interrupting Babestation with The History of the National Grid. That said, ITV does appear to have noticed that it has something decent on its hands and has decided on a second series. Let’s just hope it doesn’t get bumped for the +1 showing of Strictly I’m an X Factor Celebrity on Ice. Dan Heap

he pilot (no pun intended) episode of Pan Am begins smoothly, and there is a noticeable atmosphere of excitement and adventure, reinforced (unsubtly, and yet sweetly) by a little boy looking to the plane, as if wonders are about to emerge from it. For all of us used to plane travel, and who find it a dull and less than enthralling experience, there is a certain nostalgia to the idea of the excitement that planes used to hold, and there is a real feeling of exhilaration when we watch the captain fly his plane for the first time. However, the problems far outweigh the good. The script is clunky and awkward. In particular, the scene when archetypal dominant female Maggie (Christina Ricci) arrives on board is one that I can only assume left viewers in a cringing shock at the clichéd phrases and poor acting. This is characterised by her wonderfully forced line on love-smitten captain Dean Lowrey (Mike Vogel); “�� he won’t be doing any actual flying, will he?�� ”�� , spoken with bizarrely huge eyes and overly mechanical sass. The links between flashback and actual time can be confusing, and one can end up unsure how you got from a plane journey to six months ago to then wandering around somewhere (Lon-

don/Paris/Rome?) with no explanation. Further, and for no good reason other than that spy stories are just cool, they chuck in a good bit of espionage. Being a Pan Am girl, you see, is ‘the perfect cover’. The second episode fares little better, throwing bedroom eyes between Captain Dean and Collette (whose only news is that she got a fringe) into the mix, whilst Dean is still hopelessly in love with

Bridget, who has disappeared. She then reappears, then goes to church (a typical spy haunt) with Kate, then disappears again, hopefully for good this time. The main problem I feel, is that Pan Am has marketed itself as Mad Men in the skies, and it just doesn’t fill those (huge) shoes. Adding to this hype, the fact that director Thomas Schlamme also directed the critically acclaimed and just plain brilliant series The West

CAVITY SEARCHES: Much more pleasant when performed by pretty faces.

Ross Kemp: Back ON the Frontline BBC2 Weekdays, 2.15pm



t's two and a half years since Grant Mitchell – sorry, Ross Kemp – was last in Afghanistan, and times have changed. The situation is more complicated and the Royal Marines have had to change their tactics to keep up with a state of affairs that seems to be forever threatening to boil over into violence. It is an atmosphere that calls for a more subtle and insightful style of journalism and Kemp certainly steps up to the mark. Watching Kemp is quite an emasculating experience as a fellow adult male. When he takes part in the gruelling training regimes practised by the military we look on as he half-heartedly complains about his age while sprinting about with a log twice his size balanced lazily on his shoulder. Early on in the documentary he talks of his “�� apprehension and excitement�� ”�� while rigorously strapping his bullet proof vest on without hesitation, then proceeding to stride out into imminent danger. On the other hand, this also makes him extremely impressive as an investigative journalist. He wastes no time in getting to the heat of the action, putting himself in very real danger to experience life on the frontline. While others would be quaking in the background and making frequent trips to the bathroom out of fear, he is right in there, asking awkward questions and tearing out the bloody,

Wing, heightens the expectations of the show, and so if one expects something of similar standing they are bound to be disappointed. Pan Am got off to a turbulent start, entering a rough patch of cloud over episode 1. But it looks set to chart a path over clearer skies providing that the script begins to flow and the storylines are more focused. You never know, it could well... take off.

SHHH: This is the most elaborate game of Hide n' Seek ever. beating heart of the story. There is also a disarming, refreshing honesty and bluntness to his reporting style. At one point he tells us: “�� The biggest fear for the lads is losing their limbs – or worse, their balls�� ”�� . Later on he hammers home the point by demonstrating an armoured nappy worn to protect the genital area. In another example he bluntly asks a group of soldiers how they would feel if their friend, sitting next to Kemp, were to die in combat. Whereas others would tiptoe around the point, Kemp just says it like it is and is all the better for it. Ross Kemp: Back on the Frontline is vital television, telling a story that needs to be told from the point of view of those soldiers on the ground, putting their lives at risk in an often thankless job. And Kemp, whose transformation from mouthy soap actor to award-winning journalist no-one foresaw, is the perfect man for the job: grounded, intelligent and humane. Alistair Grant

Skin Deep BBC Three Mondays 8:30



o people enjoy watching programs featuring the human body at its most repulsive? The success of shows such as Embarrassing Bodies would seem to infer this.Though the actual attraction of such reality shows really is a mystery, Skin Deep tries to get in on some of this medical voyeurism action and fails. The purpose of Skin Deep is to “investigate various beauty disaster stories and try to work out what went wrong”, the powdery Cheryl Cole lookalike presenter tells her audience. It is difficult to tell whether the program supports the potentially damaging and scarring beauty treatments it details or is genuinely trying to warn people of dangers. The Cheryl clone’s apparent love of plastic surgery gives a mixed message. The stories that are investigated seem

BBC

found

holly jameson

TV 26

ridiculously trivial and not even that disgusting - a small bald patch and a scarred hand, both no longer than a couple of centimetres. Neither seem overwhelmingly traumatic or especially painful which is what the audience would have expected in a program who’s raison d’etre is to examine beauty ‘disasters’. There are no interesting characters; the girls' complaints and ‘horror stories’ fail to provide compelling viewing, leaving the audience uninspired. Not simply lacking depth, the show also lacks content, following the accounts of two girls whose stories didn’t have much substance. The same thin material is used again and again in an exhaustive narrative, followed by an interview with the victim, a re-hashing of the narrative, a summary and then finally the ‘climax’ of an interview with the guilty party- the perpetrator of a dodgy haircut or piercing. By this point any sensible person is so bored with the story of a bald patch that they’re likely pulling their own hair out. Adding up the results of an annoying model as a presenter, lacklustre stories as an excuse for content and some vaguely gross pictures of scars and a little blood as its gore; Skin Deep sums to a pretty boring show that lacks any message or direction. Is it condemning the beauty treatment industry? It even avoids metaphysical questions - should we be looking for inner beauty over its ‘skin deep’ counterpart? Or just avoid dodgy piercing and beauty treatment shops? The focus seems to be on the latter, but there is no attention paid to the fact that some of the effort these girls put into artificial beauty is headed for disaster anyway.

Nina Seale

Got your eye on the ball? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org

8 2011 Tuesday November 22 2011 studentnewspaper.org

27 Sport 27

Is ‘bought’ �� success really success at all?

Injury Time

Chris Waugh suggests that Manchester City's bankrolled success may come at a price Lancashire region; their fans are seen as gloryseekers or foreigners. City, on the other hand, has always presented itself as the club of the working region; the institution in Manchester that represents the people. Yet with the billions they are throwing at the superstars of the footballing world, this image is already being tarnished. More and more City ‘fans’ seem to be cropping up all over the place. Even without their traditional and proud identity seemingly being eroded, Manchester City fans must wonder whether or not they will celebrate the almost inevitable success - and by success I mean the league title they seem destined to win and, in the not too distant future, a Champions League - that must now be just around the corner in the same way.

“

Would Man City's success be cherished more by their fans if they hadn't effectively ‘bought’ it?" City’s FA Cup victory last season was hailed by many as the springboard to greater successes, and their current position in the league supports this theory. However, as a supporter of Newcastle United, who are notorious for being the perennial underachievers in English football (previously a title they shared with Manchester City), their victory in the FA Cup does seem somewhat hollow to me. Newcastle have recently renamed St. James’ Park the ‘Sports Direct Arena’ which has created much uproar in the region due to the pride that St. James’

ETIHAD STADIUM: City's fans come second behind their riches evokes in all Geordies. The City of Manchester Stadium was renamed the ‘Etihad Stadium’ last season and, although it did not hold the 120 years of history that St. James’ Park did, this is yet another example of where the club has become engulfed by corporate greed and sponsorship. When Manchester City are mentioned in the news, it is always about the financial situation at the football club - a club which saw English record losses of £197 million last year rather than the historic club itself. Please do not think for one second that I would say no to Newcastle having billions to throw at any name in world football and that I would have rebuffed winning the FA Cup, that is simply not the case. My argument, however, is to suggest that success may be cherished more if the soul of a club is not tarnished in the process of winning something.

In a sport that is now more greatly dominated by the ‘haves’ than the ‘havenots’ than ever before, it may be a somewhat naive view to hold that success can be gained by other means than by it being ‘bought’. In reality it is almost certainly the case that the clubs around Europe who have billionaire owners are the ones who are going to win most of the trophies. Manchester City’s march towards the Premier League trophy currently seems to be gathering inevitable momentum and the title looks like it will be travelling a short distance from Old Trafford to the Etihad Stadium at the end of this season. City’s success may have come at a cost, however, as by winning the most coveted prize in English football they may just have turned themselves into a carbon-copy of the bitter rivals they once vehemently hated in the process.

Johnson resigns but problems remain

Alan Ross highlights the fundamental flaws in the current RFU management structure spite his adamant reiterations that the turmoil did not affect his role, it cannot have helped to be part of a rudderless ship in a stormy sea. Giving no real reason for his resignation at his farewell press conference apart from his opinion that it was the “right thing to do”, the confusion in the organisation must have

REVOLVING DOOR: The RFU is once again looking for a new manager

Tom Smeeth

So the revolving door at the Rugby Football Union’s (RFU) headquarters at Twickenham spins again with Martin Johnson emerging into the normality of the wider world. The internal politics at Twickenham must have provided a completely new challenge to the ones Johnson had to face as a player. De-

played a part in his decision making. Since Francis Baron stepped down as CEO in 2010 the upper echelons of the RFU have been in turmoil. From the short lived reign of John Steele, and the resulting bad blood over reform and recruitment, the RFU stumbled into the appointment of institution stalwart Martyn Thomas as acting CEO. Thomas was already entwined in the controversy surrounding the removal of Steele and his highly dubious actions only furthered the questions about his suitability for the post. Despite his hard work securing the 2015 World Cup, a management committee suggested that he might now prefer to spend more “time with the family”, letting him walk before resorting to tactics Thomas was all too familiar with. He will leave the RFU at the end of his contract in December and return to breeding pedigree Welsh Black cattle on his farm. This brief summary cannot even deal properly with the lack of responsibility that Rob Andrew as Rugby Operations director is accepting despite working above three different coaches. But we know now that he is definitely not considering his position, and, after all, he is part of the post-World Cup review panel and with Johnson gone, why make it two resignations? Johnson’s resignation, however, meant he left his position with a dignity that wasn’t present in the well publicised off-field antics of his England side at the World Cup. Despite a mediocre success rate of 56.6% from 38 tests, it needs to be recognised that his reign was during

a period of transition which was perhaps why he was appointed in the first place: to provide a figure head to move the side forward. The introduction of new faces into the England squad will no doubt benefit the nation as they look towards a home World Cup in 2015; but the discontinuity that was a part of finding these new players meant the rugby suffered. By deploying hard running centres like the much maligned Mike Tindall and Shontayne Hape in tandem Johnson did not seem to desire free flowing creative rugby. Johnson’s hesitance in letting Toby Flood loose in place of a less than metronomic Jonny Wilkinson at the World Cup also spoke volumes about his desired style of play. In 2007, over a year before he became England manager, he recognised that there is no guarantee that playing at the highest level will make you a “good coach or manager”. The appointment of Johnson was acknowledged as a risk at the time and with his reign in the books it can be seen as a gamble that did not wholly pay off. Ultimately Johnson was too wise to have his fate decided by the World Cup review panel. He rescued the RFU from having to make a decision providing them with the opportunity to right its ship in time for the Six Nations in the New Year with a new CEO and Head Coach. Alan Ross co-presents the Fresh Air Sports Show on www.freshair.org.uk from 7pm-8pm on a Monday night.

takes A WRY look at the world of sport

Graham hogg

Manchester City currently sit five points clear of their fierce rivals Manchester United in their quest for the Premier League title. Having won the First Division title in both 1937 and 1968, City’s supporters remained humbled and fanatical; City meant everything to those committed fans. But can the same be said if The Blues win the league this season? My gut feeling tells me this simply cannot be the case. In August 2008 the Abu Dhabi United Group completed a takeover of Manchester City and their owner, Sheikh Mansour, immediately set about recruiting the stellar names of world football. Robinho was first through the door, having been snatched from under the nose of Roman Abramovich’s Chelsea, highlighting the sheer financial muscle that is now the basis of this once traditional club. Having been rebuffed, despite posting ridiculously high offers, in their quest for Kaka, Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo, The Citizens remained undeterred and stars such as Carlos Tevez, David Silva and Sergio Aguero now grace the City fans with their exquisite skills. Although fantastic individuals have been brought to the North-West, questions remain as to how much the financial situation at the club has impacted on the appreciation the fans show towards their team in general. Five years ago, Man City fans would tell you - quite passionately - of their disgust for everything that their Manchester rivals stood for, and yet their cherished club seems to be following in United’s footsteps. Is the tradition of their club really worth losing just so success can be gained on the pitch? Manchester United are often lauded as a club that have no supporters from the

The 3pm kick-off is back! Three pm is my favourite time of the day. Saturday is my favourite day of the week. The two together make me quiver and shiver with a knee-knocking anticipation and sweaty-palmed anxiety. It’s a time of day that starts an afternoon process that will end either with your smile wide and chest puffed out, like the Joker on steroids, or with your head drooping and eyes dripping, like Ian Curtis cooking onions. Since I signed up to LiveOnlineFooty.com (LOF), a streaming website that broadcasts all of the Premier League games LIVE at 3pm every Saturday it has also become a time in which I sit back and take in English football with 7 tabs open, as an adoring neutral of the beautiful game, in a onesie. At just £3 per month, LOF gives the viewer the opportunity to swap, choose and settle on games that they think will be exciting, or nuts, or dull, or predictable. Instead of limiting us to the bubble chatting commentary of ex-pros in cheap suits on Soccer Saturday, or leaving us waiting for the anticlimactic evening kick-off, it restores power to the hallowed time of 3pm and with an anarchic ideology spanks Sky’s shiny bottom and then brands it with the letters “F” and “U”. The politics behind it are perhaps murkier than its message. Streaming laws in Britain are currently under review and though pubs are allowed to stream matches from foreign countries into their grotty little beer dens as part of a recent court settlement, whether I’m allowed to stream Wigan vs. Blackburn via the internet into my own grotty little beer den remains a contested issue, and probably will forever more. That’s why I am enjoying LOF whilst I can, before it’s pulled away kicking and screaming by Jamie Redknapp and Chris Kamara and forced to return as a Highlights Only Bullshit Beam. It might be illegal and potentially damning to attendances in the Premier League, especially if there’s more people like me i.e. pyjama-wearing, warm Leffe-gargling sympathisers who’d rather see a 0-0 draw from the comfort of a soft blanket than in the crisp wind of working class banter. But in the long run, LOF can only be considered a good thing. LOF and sites like it (though LOF IS the best) represent the Internet being used in all its radical brilliance, bringing something steeped in significance and tradition, the 3pm kick off, and twisting it into a HD square of day-defining entertainment. If you like football and you like watching football and don’t just want to watch feeble montages of football, then you should get LOF. It’ll be the best £3 you’ll ever spend.* *Apart from Sainsbury’s Meal Deal’s Turkey & Cranberry Stuffing Special. Jack Murray

studentnewspaper.org

Sport

Tuesday November 22 2011

Martin Johnson may be gone, but England's problems remain

Alan Ross explains how, despite the England manager's resignation, the RFU remains in turmoil P27

Edinburgh dunked by Durham Davie Heaton watches Uni's basketballers come unstuck against the league leaders Edinburgh Durham

50 89

A clinical team performance saw league-leaders Durham overwhelm struggling Edinburgh in the BUCs Premier North last Wednesday. Ben Warrington top-scored for the hosts with eight points (and nine rebounds), but a man-of-the-match performance from Durham shooting guard Chris Pearce ensured a comfortable 39 point win for the visitors. The home side held their own in patches, pushing the visitors close in the first and third quarters, but were unable to keep pace with the high tempo set by their confident opponents. Club captain Nicolas Gramotka said: “We only lost the first and third quarter by five points, and that shows we were able to keep up with them for stretches. “However we almost collapse for stretches that break our neck – in the second quarter it was our lack of focus and composure that blew it open. “That’s our inexperience at this level and in the fourth quarter fatigue was probably an additional factor.” The home side, buoyant from their after-the-buzzer win at rel-

egation rivals Glasgow the previous week, started well with Warrington dominating around the basket and Michael Kirkpatrick sinking a threepointer to ensure they remained within five points of Durham at the end of the first quarter. But the away team were getting under the hoop with increasing regularity and a combination of lazy marking, creative breaks and clinical finishing opened up a mammoth 41-19 lead for coach Dave Elderkin’s visitors at the conclusion of the second period. Good work from Kirkpatrick and Ian Black meant the third quarter was closer, but Edinburgh were unable to create clear chances under the basket. Out-sized and outnumbered around the hoop, they struggled to latch onto any rebounds and increasingly resorted to quick, low percentage shots in sharp contrast to the incisive fast-breaks employed by their opponents. Fatigue kicked in during the fourth quarter, with easy turnovers and tired defending allowing Durham to turn the screw and leave captain Gramotka’s men much to ponder ahead of their next game against Worcester this week. “Ultimately, I think we’ve just played less basketball together than they have,” he said. “That will change and we should be able to give them a better run in the second leg in 2012.”

Overall BUCs Standings 3rd Durham 4th Edinburgh 746 5th Birmingham Edinburgh BUCs Points 1st Swimming 117 2nd Netball 3rd Basketball 3rd Fencing 3rd Lacrosse 6th Table Tennis

872 734

101 92 92 92 90

Sat 19th November Results Aberdeen 1st 0-3 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Table Tennis) Aberdeen 1st 7-9 Edinburgh 2nd (Men's Table Tennis) Aberdeen 2nd 0-9 Edinburgh 2nd (Men's Table Tennis)

Charles Cutteridge

Basketball BUCs Premier North

SLAM DUNKED: Edinburgh struggled to contain the visitors

Wed 16th November Results Heriot-Watt 1st 41-39 Edinburgh 2nd (Men's Basketball) Edinburgh 1st 50-105 Durham 1st (Women's Basketball) Strathclyde 1st 3-3 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 3-0 Edinburgh 2nd (Women's Hockey) Edinburgh 3rd 3-3 Stirling 1st (Women's Hockey) Edinburgh 3rd 5-3 Glasgow Cale 1st (Men's Hockey) Birmingham 1st 95-133 Edinburgh 1st

St. Andrews frustrate Edinburgh again

Chris Waugh reports on the SSS Table Tennis tournament in which Edinburgh finished runners-up Table Tennis SSS Round-Robin Tournament

The Edinburgh men’s table tennis second team took part in round two of the SSS Table Tennis Round Robin Tournament on Saturday, finishing in the very respectable position of runnersup to the eventual winners, St. Andrews. Two of the big universities in Scotland competed in this hotly contested event alongside the Edinburgh 2nds, with St. Andrews and Aberdeen sending both their first teams and their second teams. The first leg of the event took place in St. Andrews at the start of November and the home side’s firsts proved too strong for their challengers, running away as comfortable victors. Edinburgh seconds and Aberdeen firsts did battle it out for second spot, however. Unfortunately time was against Edinburgh and their clash with the Aberdeen first team

was postponed with the score at 2-3, leaving both teams joint second going into this next event. The Edinburgh seconds team that travelled to this tournament consisted of their captain Tony Fowler, Gary McIntyre, Callum Renton and John Lindle. Their first match, which was due to be the replay of the delayed fixture from the previous tournament against Aberdeen firsts, was postponed as both teams were fielding different players from their last encounter. However, in the fixtures that did take place between Edinburgh and Aberdeen firsts, Edinburgh came out 9-6 winners. Callum Renton came close to beating former Scottish Junior national Neil McDonald, but was unlucky to lose out in the fifth and final set. When Renton did find his form he proved too strong for Matthew Robinson, whom he beat in 4 sets, as did Tony Fowler in the other pick of the first round of matches. This

victory lifted Edinburgh up into second place overall. The defeat of Aberdeen firsts built up momentum and Edinburgh went into their next match full of confidence; a match that resulted in the thrashing of St. Andrews seconds 9-0, with Edinburgh only dropping two sets in this entire match-up.

“

Second was a good achievement and it gives us something to buildon." Tony Fowler, Edinburgh Captain

After St. Andrews seconds came their first team; victors of the previous SSS Round Robin just a few weeks ago. St. Andrews firsts were the number

one seeds and their star player, Michael Hahn, beat both John Lindle and Gary McIntyre in five sets. Callum Renton had the best match for Edinburgh, winning two ties, whilst the rest of the team scraped a victory each. St. Andrews eventually came out as fairly comfortable winners, 9-5. The final match proved to be the most important for the Edinburgh team – their second leg with the Aberdeen firsts. Nerves seemed to get the better of Edinburgh at the start of the tie with Aberdeen taking the first three matches, including a closely-fought contest in which John Lindle lost out in 5 sets to Neil McDonald. Nevertheless, Edinburgh were not to be denied and, after Callum Renton put their first points on the board, victories began to come thick and fast with the next three contests going the way of the Edinburgh seconds. Renton and Neil McDonald faced each other once again,

with McDonald this time victorious in the fifth set. Renton, McIntyre and Lindle did snatch one more victory each over Matthew Robinson, and this sealed a very close encounter for the Edinburgh 2nds. The match finished Edinburgh seconds 9-8 Aberdeen firsts. Edinburgh’s team captain, Tony Fowler, was extremely pleased with the team’s effort. “This was a very good win for Edinburgh [against Aberdeen firsts],” he said. “We gave a good fight against St. Andrews firsts as well but unfortunately it wasn’t enough. Still, second was a good achievement and it gives us something to build-on”. Unfortunately Aberdeen seconds were unable to field a team and so their matches were postponed. Edinburgh firsts will face Aberdeen firsts in the first round of the BUCS Knockout Cup on November 30th, hoping to emulate the achievements of their second team colleagues.