The Student 04/10/2011

Tuesday October 4 2011 | Week 3

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DOHERTY RETURNS Music» p18

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010 S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T u d en t N ews pa p er

“A fucking disgrace”

alasdair drennan and graham lewis

Princess Anne installed as chancellor amidst student unrest over her appointment and inauguration ceremony

Alasdair Drennan and Alexandra Taylor STUDENTS TOOK to the streets last Monday to protest against the installation of the Princess Royal as the new chancellor of the University of Edinburgh, while others complained about the cost and disruption of the ceremony that marked the official appointment of the Duke of Edinburgh’s daughter as his successor in the role.

Protestors initially gathered at New College on the Mound where the installation ceremony had been due to take place, however, they moved to Old College following the announcement that the ceremony venue had been changed at the last minute.

The ‘Party Against Privilege’ was organised by the Edinburgh University Anti-Cuts Coalition. Their Facebook page said: “Princess Anne has no connection to education. She is a symbol of unelected, unaccountable power. She is a relic of an age where education was the domain of a privileged elite.”

At one point, the group of protestors sat in the road temporarily stopping traffic on South Bridge, but they quickly moved back to the pavement.

There was a very large police presence at Old College to control and contain the protestors but Lothian and Borders Police told The Student that the event passed “without incident.“ The Anti-Cuts Coalition say that

at its busiest point there were around 100 students outside Old College and it has been reported that their chants could be heard within the Old College quadrangle where the ceremony took place.

There was anger amongst the protestors that money was spent on the event at the same time as the announcement that students from the rest of the UK will be charged £9000 per year for an education at Edinburgh.

First year Fine Art and History of Art student Beti Scott told The Student at the protest, “It’s disgusting. The average degree here will be £36,000.

You can’t then go and spend money on a ridiculous ceremony that doesn’t benefit students in any way.”

Complaints about the ceremony

extended further than the protestors.

Many students who were not involved in the protest felt that the organisation had been very poor and had caused significant disruption to their studies.

Fifteen classes were disrupted in New College, despite the fact that the building went unused for the whole day due to the change of venue and a further forty-six classes were relocated from Old College to elsewhere around the university campus.

One student who was not at the protest but suffered disruption to her timetable thanks to the ceremony, who asked not to be named, told The Student, “It’s a fucking disgrace. The library was utter chaos because clearly no one has anywhere else to go, and they’ve closed everything for the sake

of one stupid royal.”

Students in Old College were only told on Thursday that the building would be closed for the installation on Monday, giving them notice of little over a day that the Law and Europa Library would be closed over the weekend.

Third year law student Carolyn Lang said, “It would have been easier to accept the disruptions if we had been informed of the planned closure earlier than the afternoon before.

“It can be difficult enough for a whole seminar group to access a limited number of materials in time for a class and the visit of the Chancellor has only made it worse.”

Continued on page six>>

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2 News

NEWS >>p2-7

CHIMPLY THE BEST p5 Baby monkey is Edinburgh Zoo's top attraction EXAM BOARD UNDER ATTACK p6 Proposed 'educational context' system criticised DEMENTIA RESEARCH BOOST p7 New university research centre opened

comment >>p9-11

ALL IN THE PAST p9 Robbie MacNiven discusses Martin McGuinness A JUST PUNISHMENT? p10 Dominic Sowa argues against the death penalty BUYING HAPPINESS p11 Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths on brand bullying

FEATURES >>p12-14 GRAND THEFT VELO p13 Ed Curwen and Catherine Dillon investigate bike theft 140 CHARACTERS OR LESS... p14 Rachel McKeown on the rise of Twitter

Reviews >>p19-29

BEHIND CLOSED DOORS p20 Lewis J.W Hurst explores the Traverse theatre STORIES ON A LARGER LEVEL p22 Meg Pruce meets Take One Action festival organiser Simon Bateson

sport>>p31-31 BEST OF BRITISH p31 Jack Murray on the prospect of a British football squad

Alasdair Drennan

LABOUR LEADER Ed Miliband pledged to reduce the cap on tuition fees in England from £9000 to £6000 at the Labour Party conference last week.

Miliband's proposals were met with criticism from across the political spectrum, with Tories claiming that Labour had made a political U-turn having completely opposed increasing tuition fees last year.

The Labour Party rejected this condemnation. Miliband told the BBC’s Andrew Marr, “I don’t think it is a reversal of policy, I think it is implementing a policy - we voted against the £9,000 tuition fee.”

The proposal also came under fire from a number of political organisations. A thinktank aligned with the Liberal Democrats claimed that such a move would benefit the richest graduates most and would result in fewer loans being written off.

Criticism also came from the left.

Self proclaimed socialist and Guardian columnist Owen Jones tweeted from the Party conference in Liverpool, “Huge applause for delegate who opposes Labour’s £6,000 student fees pledge and demands free education.”

Labour claim to have fully costed their proposals, with extra money coming from scrapping plans to cut corporation tax and charging a higher rate of interest on student loan repayments for those earning over £65,000.

Liam Burns President of the National Union of Students accepted that Labour’s proposals were better than the £9,000 tuition fee cap introduced by the UK Government but insisted

LISTEN UP: Delegates at Labour's conference in Liverpool that they didn’t go far enough.

He said, “What we need to see now from all parties are bold plans that go even further. Any system of payment based on an identifiable fee will influence the choice of the poorest. We must find a fair balance of funding universities between students, government and employers, always avoiding a ‘sticker price’ on education.”

“The issue of how to fund our universities are far from over. This government is trying to lay the consequence of the economic crisis at the feet of a generation that had nothing to do with causing it.”

Gareth Thomas, Labour’s UK higher education spokesperson, defended the proposals, telling The Guardian, “Analysis carried out by the House of Commons Library, using the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills’ own model, found that our package would benefit the lowest ten per

cent of earners the most. They would be 16 per cent better off than under the government’s plans. The highest ten per cent of earners, those with incomes of £65,000 or more every year of their working lives, would be two per cent worse off.”

In spite of the headline-grabbing announcement, Labour made clear that the £6000 tuition fee cap is simply an interim policy. Shadow UK business secretary, John Denham said that the party’s long-term goal was still to introduce a graduate tax in place of fees but it is unclear as to whether this will be a policy in the Labour Party’s next election manifesto.

Tuition fees were introduced across the UK in 1998 and were initially set at £1000, with English fees increasing in 2004 and will be increasing again from 2012.

Scottish exam results reach ten year high Katie Cunningham

THE SCOTTISH Qualifications Authority (SQA) has reported a large increase in the number of passes at Higher and Advanced Higher this year, while the number of students who sat exams has fallen.

Standard Grade rates did not fluctuate much from their previous figure of 98.5 per cent, 0.5 per cent more people passed Higher exams, and 1.8 per cent more passed at Advanced Higher. This raises their pass rates respectively to 75.2 per cent and 79.3 per cent.

The Higher increase brings the results back to the level they were at ten years ago.

There is also a chance that these results may increase again when the appeals come into the system after Christmas. Along with the rises in the successful sittings of Highers and Advanced Highers, there was an increase in the number of students sit-

ting Baccalaureate exams in both the sciences and languages. Baccalaureate exams are a new Scottish system, linking between school subjects, work and higher or further education.

The total number of students sitting the Baccalaureate was 138 in 2010, and this rose to 174 in 2011.

Dr Janet Brown, Scotland’s chief examining officer, was encouraged by the increases in the pass rate.

She said, “This year, we continue to witness modest but important increases in the attainment levels of our young people.”

Brown feels that the improvement should not be lessened by falling student numbers, and that the quality of teaching and changes to its implementation have had a particular impact. She added, “For me, this reflects in no small measure, the results of the changes teachers have been making to learning and teaching approaches.”

Speaking specifically about English, which has seen particular improvement, she said, “Undoubtedly,

these improvements have been assisted by the changes which we made this year to the assessment of courses in English – changes which better reflect the breadth of the learning which we now expect in English.”

Education secretary Mike Russell offered his congratulations to those who had passed their courses. He said: “We’ve actually got an improvement in results in Scotland, that’s a testimony to hard work. To young people who’ve worked very hard to get the results they need I’m very pleased, I congratulate them for that.”

Royal Mail is already making arrangements in coordination with the SQA to make next year’s delivery of results as smooth as possible. Ian McKay, Royal Mail Scottish affairs director, commented on the importance of this. He said, “All of our people, many of whom have children themselves, understand just how important this day is for families.”

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Labour Party criticised for tuition fees proposals

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News 33

Nationwide condemnation for extremely cheap student night at Warrington club

A NIGHTCLUB in the Cheshire town of Warrington has been heavily criticised for offering students spirits for as little as ten pence per drink and only twenty pence for a pint.

The Showbar club has been running a promotion called Two Bob Tuesdays, as a result of an apparent price war between the town’s venue owners.

Jenny Keep, manager of Showbar, defended the nights. She told The Sun, “It’s really a student night. It’ll be £5 to get in and ten pence a drink. They will only be allowed to have one drink at a time. It’s not irresponsible.

“Other places have had promotions at one pence a time – now that’s irresponsible.”

The promotion has been condemned by group Alcohol Concern, who want it banned. Don Shenker, the chief executive of Alcohol Concern, said, “This shouldn’t be allowed.

It clearly incentivises drinking irresponsibly.”

Here in Scotland, regulations on the sale of alcohol are much stricter.

The Alcohol, Etc. (Scotland) Act was passed in 2010, aimed at restricting sale of cheap alcohol in large amounts, such as in buy-one-get-one-free offers.

Such deals have been discontinued in Edinburgh itself since 2009, when 40 nightclubs voluntarily agreed to halt promotions of that nature as part of the Unight scheme.

Unight is a joint programme between Lothian & Borders Police, Edinburgh City Council and the city’s evening venues with the aim of

Have your say

“

SHOW YOUR ID: Supermarkets will soon be required to check the identification of anyone who looks under 25 buying alcohol increasing safety and reducing antisocial behaviour in the city. At the time, justice secretary Kenny McAskill heralded the move as “the end to Happy Hours”.

One measure from the 2010 Alcohol Act comes into effect this weekend. Scotland’s supermarkets will now be legally required to check the identification of anyone purchasing alcohol who appears to be younger than 25, as part of the nationwide ‘Challenge 25’ scheme. Dr Evelyn Gillan, Chief Executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, praised the change: “The Alcohol Act contains a range of measures which will contribute to reducing harmful consumption of alcohol in Scotland.

“‘Challenge 25’ will make it tougher for young people under the legal drinking age to buy alcohol, and ending irresponsible promotions in off-sales should discourage people from buying more alcohol than they intended.

“These measures will be even more effective when minimum unit pricing is finally introduced. If we want to reduce the level of alcohol-related harm in Scotland, we need to reduce overall alcohol consumption. Evidence shows that price increases reduce consumption, and consequently harm. As well as saving lives, minimum pricing would also save the taxpayer hundreds of millions of pounds in NHS, crime and employment costs.”

What do you think of cheap drinks promotions?

Kate Holland 3rd year, Politics & Sociology “I can see why they have bad connotations, but I don't think people necessarily drink more just because the drinks are cheaper.”

Justs zarins 3rd year, computational physics “I think it promotes alcoholism. If its cheap, it makes it more likely people that people will binge drink.

If it’s not cheap you have to think more about how much you are spending.”

Sanaa Ahsanuddin, msc design and digital media “It is a really good thing because in Edinburgh it is usually really expensive to drink, even more so than London. People are going to drink regardless of the price.”

The Scottish Health Survey 2010 was published last Tuesday. It found that although there was no significant change in the proportion of men drinking above the recommended regular daily limit between 2003 and 2010, the proportion of women doing so fell by four per cent.

The proportions drinking in excess of recommended weekly alcohol limits declined between 2003 and 2010, from 33 per cent to 27 per cent of men and from 23 per cent to 18 per cent of women – suggesting an improving, but continuing trend of binge drinking in Scotland.

Philippa Faulkner, the Vice President of Services for Edinburgh Uni-

julia gomez

Sam Bradley

versity Students’ Association (EUSA) told The Student that EUSA would continue to promote responsible drinking by Edinburgh students in the light of the publicity surrounding the drinks prices at the Warrington club’s student night.

She said, “EUSA really encourages responsible drinking. We do not serve people who are underage and encourage students to have a good time but understand their limits. We also make sure that students are safe when they leave our venues after a night out and I think this is what makes us particularly different to a lot of other venues in Edinburgh.”

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NAIRN MCWILLIAMS

Edinburgh run away with the prize

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News 5

Edinburgh Zoo's baby L'hoest's monkey is still the star attraction

Nina Seale

Walking around the monkey house at Edinburgh Zoo you cannot help but notice three new arrivals, chief amongst them the two month old L’hoest's monkey clinging to its mother.

The miniature monkey gambols around its parent, leaping between the jungle of ropes and hanging branches with abandon. Despite its carefree playfulness, its wide eyes regard visitors with one hand fisted in its mother’s fur and a thumb firmly planted in its mouth. Every so often it finds itself a bit too far away, dashing back to mum with a couple of agile leaps where the it is caught absent-mindedly.

The baby (pictured) is the third L’hoest's born to its father, a healthy male. As with its siblings, there have been no problems with its health in the first few days since it’s birth.

Lorna Hughes, primate keeper at Edinburgh Zoo, told The Student, “Everything is going very well. At the moment it is still a little too early for us to check whether it is a baby boy or a baby girl because a baby this young stays close to its mum.”

Fellow primate keeper Dawn

Nicoll added, “She’s too pretty to be a boy. When this one was born she would spend all her day sleeping and suckling. She would look around and pick things up but still hold onto the female. Usually it’s a slow progression but that wee one is quite confident so it’s purely based on the individual.”

Usually, as long as the adult monkeys are not stressed they will breed without any veterinary assistance. The zoo allows the mother to take care of her baby so the females can become independent, established females, and they only intervene if the baby is injured.

When the primates are older they are given training that provides mental stimuli such as touching targets and presenting hands or feet in return for treats, which makes veterinary examination easier and human contact less stressful.

The baby can expect to live about thirty years, much longer than his wild relatives in central Africa – whose survival in the bush has been made tougher in recent years due to habitat loss and poachers hunting monkeys for meat. L’hoest's are classified as vulnerable on the International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) Red List.

While the mountainous forests that wild L’hoest's call their home are far away from the monkey house at Edinburgh Zoo, conservation efforts undertaken at zoos across the world are central to the healthy survival of the species.

Matt dale

Monkey business

LUNCHTIME: This is the best photograph ever, right?

Eloise Kohler

AN EXCITING opportunity has been developed for Edinburgh University students in an imitation of the popular BBC TV show, Dragons Den. Student groups now have the chance to propose their ideas for a charitable event to a panel of Dragons.

Funded by the Edinburgh Students’ Charities Appeal (ESCA), students will present a short presentation about how they would use the funds to raise money for a charity of their choice.

The dragons will then select the best schemes to distribute funding - up to £1,000 each.

ESCA is a Scottish charity whose main goal is to “support students across Edinburgh to fundraise money for local, national and international charities.” This innovative contest is the latest concept from the foundation that hosted the Race2Paris and the Meadows Marathon events, intended to encourage students in their chari-

table endeavours.

The deadline for the application (which was emailed to every Edinburgh University student) is 15 October 2011.

The event co-ordinators will then select the best to enter the next round.

The shortlisted finalists will be invited to present their pitches to the Dragons on 4 November. Gemma Cowen, the “Dragon Master”, explained what would distinguish the competing finalists in their presentations. She told The Student, “We would be looking for a well-structured, professional and concise delivery of the key elements of their event. How they plan to achieve mass appeal and success and where the granted money would be allocated.

“Because we can allocate a large amount of money, we will need to be impressed with their pitch, whether it be the format they use - think of Levi Roots from Dragons Den a few years ago - or just the event itself and the passion to raise lots of money for charity.”

The judging panel will consist of

Gemma Cowen, Stephen Shirres (Appeal Coordinator and Company Secretary for ESCA) and three other, as yet unconfirmed dragons.

Responding to worries that students will not have a good enough chance of claiming the top prize, Cowen encouraged everyone to compete.

She said, “Depending on the quality of the presentations, we will then choose to allocate the money between (hopefully) a few different student groups who all want to raise money for different charities.”

She added, “The event is hopefully going to allow an integration of all Edinburgh colleges and universities and allow equal opportunities for their students to potentially receive funding to run their event. ���������������������������������� “��������������������������������� In terms of the actual event, we would be looking for something new and exciting and in doing so raise a lot of money for the charity of their choice.”

ESCA

Dragons Den for students run as a catalyst for innovative charity events

POPPY APPEAL: ESCA has been involved in various charity events

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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6 News

GOING NOWHERE: Protestors briefly brought traffic to a halt

alasdair drennan

<<Continued from page one Princess Anne, who has been installed in the role, succeeds her father, the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Phillip, who stepped down last year after 57 years as Chancellor.

Her Royal Highness is the eighth chancellor of the university and her inauguration marks the continuation of a 150-year old tradition.

She was elected in March following her work as a patron of the university’s Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies.

The Chancellor is mainly responsible for conferring degrees, nominating an assessor for the University Court and serving as the president of the General Council.

During the ceremony, the princess presented a benefactor award to Harry Potter author J K Rowling for her generous contributions to the University.

The university benefactor’s award acknowledges Rowling’s £10 million donation to the Anne Rowling

ROUNDED UP: Police were out in numbers

Regenerative Neurology Clinic. The facility, which will open in 2013, will focus on developing treatments for multiple sclerosis and other degenerative neurological conditions.

“

The library was utter chaos because clearly no one has anywhere else to go, and they closed everything for the sake of one stupid royal."

University of Edinburgh student

Princess Anne also unveiled a plaque marking the new landscaping of the quadrangle at Old College.

EUSA Vice President for Academic Affairs Mike Williamson

alasdair drennan

PARTY TIME: Scrawled invite to the protest

alasdair drennan

Student anger on display as Princess Royal assumes her role as chancellor

told The Student, “EUSA supports the right to protest and encourages students to be politically active. I had already informed the University Court that I do not think the chancellor’s election last year was run particularly democratically, and that that’s a shame when it only happens once every few decades.

“I’m very disappointed that the university closed New College over the weekend, and disrupted lectures on Monday, even though the installation ceremony took place in Old College. That’s much more disruptive than the protest was.”

A spokesperson for the University told The Student: “The University attaches great importance to freedom of speech as long as points of view are put across in a safe and lawful way.”

They did not respond to questions related to disruption to teaching caused by the event.

AQA argues students from some schools should have lower grade requirements Harrison Kelly

The Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) exam board for England and Wales has been heavily criticised for its proposal to award students from poorly performing schools with additional university entrance points.

Pupils who performed better than average for their school would be awarded additional points, taking into consideration their home background and “educational context,” in a bid to try and widen university access and promote social mobility.

The exam board, which does not operate in Scotland, offered St Georges’s Hospital Medical School in London as an example of how the plans would work: “[St Georges] operates an Adjusted Criteria policy, through which it offers places in medicine to applicants with lower A-level grades (down to

‘BBC’) than the standard offer of ‘AAB’ or above, providing they are at least 60 per cent better than their school average.”

However these suggestions have come under fire from many within the education sector who argue that the proposals are simplistic and would be discriminatory against many students, particularly those from private schools.

Dr Tim Hands, headmaster of Magdalen College, Oxford, and cochairman of the Independent Schools’ Universities Committee, said, “It is extraordinary. It takes no account of home background or the amount of tutoring a pupil could have.”

The Russell Group, of which Edinburgh University is a member, also condemned the idea saying that the plans were “crude and highly unlikely to help widen access.” Wendy Piatt, director general of the Russell Group, said admissions tutors already considered students’ academic achievements within a broader context through personal statements.

Similar schemes already operate in areas of Scotland, where students in certain schools must be accepted if they meet minumum entry requirements.

EXAM GRADES: AQA suggested “educational context” should be taken into account for some students

zeligfilm

Exam board under fire for uni entrance proposals

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News 7

University opens new dementia research centre A WORLD leading dementia research centre has been unveiled at the University of Edinburgh to mark World Alzheimer’s Day. The facility, opened on 21 September, will improve the capacity for dementia research across the whole of Scotland. The centre has been funded by a six-figure grant from Alzheimer Scotland, with whom the university is collaborating.

The Alzheimer Scotland Dementia Research Centre will provide a high-quality environment for investigations into dementia. It will mainly be responsible for commissioning scientific and clinical research and developing and maintaining a brain tissue bank.

The work will be led by Professor John Starr, co-director of the university’s Centre for Cognitive Ageing and Cognitive Epidemiology.

Furthermore, the university is currently accepting applications for two three-year PhD studentships to work within the Research Centre from January next year. The new centre is based within the School of Philosophy, Psychology and Languages Sciences.

Deputy first minister Nicola Sturgeon said: “There could be no more fitting way to mark World Alzheimer’s Day than opening this impressive new Dementia Research Centre which will aim to help improve the treatment available to people living with the illness and our knowledge of the causes of dementia and its risk factors.”

She added, “this new centre of ex-

MAKING PROGRESS: The new Dementia Research unit, housed in the Psychology Building in George Square cellence in dementia research will play a significant part in contributing to our knowledge of the illness and the standard of dementia care provided.”

At present, there are 82,000 people in Scotland living with dementia, and this figure is set to double by 2036. It has also been found that one in three people aged over 65 will die with some form of dementia in the UK, while worldwide there is a new case of dementia found every seven seconds.

Chief executive of Alzheimer Scot-

“

Dementia is one of the biggest health and social care problems that Scotland faces.

We are delighted to be working in partnership with the university.”

Henry Simmons, CEO Alzheimer Scotland

land, Henry Simmons said: “Dementia is one of the biggest health and social care problems that Scotland faces.

There are currently very few drugs available to people with dementia and not everyone benefits from them. It is vital that we invest in clinical and scientific research, to help people live well with the illness and ultimately to work towards prevention or a cure.

“We are absolutely delighted to be working in partnership with the University on the Alzheimer Scot-

land Dementia Research Centre. This would not have been possible without the generosity of the Scottish public, whose donations have allowed us to create this Centre. We want the Alzheimer Scotland Dementia Research Centre to link in with Scotland’s growing dementia research community.

This community is already producing fantastic work, but more needs to be done if we are to tackle the dementia challenge that Scotland faces. “

Robert Gordon Four Scottish universities raise offers alternative fees RUK fees in the same week system for students University adopts unique tiered payment system Nina Seale

ROBERT GORDON University in Aberdeen has announced that 2012 fees for RUK students will be set by a tiered system which separates fee costs into three brackets according to the expense of the degree.

The most expensive course is alone in the top band at £8,500 a year for a master of pharmacy, a four year degree worth 120 credits more than the usual four year undergraduate course.

All business, management and social science degrees are within band one of the tiered system at £5,000 a year. The remaining courses from the departments of art and design, architecture and built environment, computing, engineering, health and science lie in band two charging £6,750 per year.

Alistair Grant

Professor Ferdinand von Prondzynski, principal and vicechancellor of Robert Gordon University, defended the system saying it would prevent the university from “making profit” from students.

He said, “By basing our charges on the cost of delivering our degrees, we are ensuring that we do not make profit from students who wish to study at Robert Gordon University, while ensuring their study is not subsidised from revenues received to support Scottish and EU students.”

In addition, many of Robert Gordon’s degree programmes incorporate a full year paid placement that is charged at 50 per cent of the annual fee, meaning that the least expensive programmes will be categorised as band one degrees. With a placement year they will come to around £17,500.

To counter the estimated 7.5 per cent fall in applications in men (5 per cent in women) reported by a recent study by the London School of Economics, a UK parliamentary paper was issued in the summer informing universities that if they charged less than £7,500 they would be eligible to bid for 20,000 full-time undergraduate places next year.

The Universities of Dundee, Glasgow and Strathclyde have announced that they are ready to raise tuition fees for rest of UK (RUK) domiciled students. The universities are set to increase their fees for RUK students to £26,000 at Glasgow and £27,000 at both Dundee and Strathclyde.

The move has been met with a negative response by the National Union of Students (NUS). President Liam Burns claimed the recent increase in the higher education budget implemented by the SNP government meant universities had no need to push RUK fees higher.

He said in a statement, “Last week the Scottish Government announced a budget increase of many millions of pounds for Scottish universities, meaning there is absolutely no need for the cost of degrees to be so high.”

The University of Dundee is to charge £9,000 per year, with a cap set at £27,000 for a four year course. The cap will not affect students studying medicine, dentistry or architecture, who could face fees of up to £54,000.

In addition to the cap, new threeyear honours degree programmes are to be made available to both RUK and Scottish students, offering an alternative to the traditional Scottish four-

year degree.

In the face of concerns over affordability, Professor Pete Downes, principal and vice-chancellor of the University of Dundee said “We fully appreciate the views of students and their families looking at the costs of attending university. By offering competitively priced three-year programmes, which of course mean a year’s less extra costs in living expenses such as accommodation, and combining this with very high academic standards we think we have a very attractive offer for students.”

“

There is absolutely no need for the cost of degrees to be so high.”

Liam Burns, President of the NUS

The University of Strathclyde is also set to cap fees at £27,000, while fees in Glasgow are set to be £26,000 with a £1,000 bursary for all RUK students who start in first year. Medicine, dentistry and veterinary studies at Glasgow are to be charged at £9,000 a year, however, in order to compete with the

emily Jarrett

Alexandra Taylor

same degrees in England.

Professor Anton Muscatelli, principal and vice-chancellor of the University of Glasgow said: “We greatly value the contribution, both academic and social, that students from the rest of the United Kingdom make to our campus and are committed to doing all that we can to ensure that they continue to be a welcome part of our university.”

He added, “We have decided to invest significant amounts in a generous package of bursaries and fee discounts. This will mean that every single RUK student who embarks on a four or five-year degree programme will be awarded a £1000 bursary or fee waiver in their first year.”

The University of Glasgow’s £26,000 fee level is £10,000 less than both Edinburgh and St Andrews, who are currently proposing the most expensive rates in the UK. Edinburgh has set fees for RUK students at £36,000, but promises “the most generous bursary package within the UK for those on the lowest household incomes”.

The University of West of Scotland, meanwhile, is to become the third most expensive university in the UK, with fees of £29,000 for a fouryear degree.

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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8 Editorial

Editorial

The Student considers the complex concept of leadership

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This week saw Princess Anne succeed her father Prince Philip as chancellor of the university, which as you will no doubt have seen by the time you reach this page - incited an outraged reaction from the student population. The issue seems primarily to be with her assumed authority: not only do the processes behind her appointment seem somewhat suspect, the idea that being royal entitles her to a position of authority at an academic institution is, to some, ridiculous.

Halfway through a leadership of our own, we thought we would take this as an opportunity to de-bunk any myths about how The Student is run: no corrupt leadership contests here.

Basically, each pair of editors-in-chief - you have to run as a pair - does an eight week stint. If more than one pair of would-be editors are vying for succession, it goes to hustings, but in reality this rarely happens. You must have been a section editor for at least two eight-week cycles to run for the position of editor-in-chief, and to become a section editor you usually have to have been writing for at least a year (although certain bright sparks are sometimes promoted more quickly).

Even though there are continuity

issues attached to a revolving editorship, it is a fair system that allows the maximum amount of people the opportunity to run the paper (whilst also giving the previous editors the chance to get their un-Student-related life back on track).

Of course, this necessitates the question of whether leadership can ever really be fair. Some would argue that even having a leader is a fundamentally flawed system, believing that for it to be truly equal no-one can be in charge – others would say that without a leader, absolute chaos would ensue (desirable as this may be to certain subscribers to the former view). This is the kind of argument that could go on forever and, indeed, it is not without precedent.

The classic - in every sense of the word – example is Herodotus’ socalled "Constitutional Debate" from his Histories, a manufactured scenario in which he makes characters discuss, in turn, the values of democracy, oligarchy, and autonomous monarchy.

While the debate serves as a platform for the author to present his own views rather than really explain the opinions his characters - based on real historical figures - hold, the important message

is clearly that solutions can only be found through discussion.

Particularly pertinent to us as editors is the issue of how the press choose to represent leaders. They undoubtedly have a duty to report the truth, but the manner in which they present leaders - political ones, at least - is almost unanimously negative. Their vilification leaves scars: Gordon Brown, for example, has spoken out about how the press mistreated him during his time in Parliament. This is nothing new, but does invoke the question of why the press so rarely present a leader in a positive light. Perhaps in focusing on the negative, journalists are wisely acknowledging that all humans are fundamentally flawed beings. Perhaps they are scared of being accused of political brown-nosing. Or perhaps, like Prince Philip, most leaders have a tendency to spout utter nonsense – and thus need to be held to account. It remains to be seen whether Anne will follow in her father’s footsteps with a propensity for making the odd racist faux-pas in the name of the university.

For the sake of future headlines, we can only hope so...

Your editors, Anna and Eloise.

The Student family tree Anna

Editor-in-chief

eloise

Editor-in-chief

Gregor

Assistant editor

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Comment 9 �

Provo to president

This week we learn of another twist in the tale of Martin McGuinness’s bid for the presidential leadership of the Irish Republic. Sinn Féin recently announced that it would be supporting the Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland in his campaign to replace the current President of the Republic, Mary McAleese.

“

On one hand McGuiness has been instrumental in bringing peace to Ulster's streets, and yet on the other he was for many years a member of an undeniably brutal terrorist organisation."

It didn’t take long, however, for the Conservatives' Lord Tebbit to demand that McGuinness confess all of his past involvements in the Provisional IRA. This has in turn prompted support for McGuinness from the most unlikely of corners – Jackie McDonald, commander of a section of the proscribed terrorist group the Ulster Defence Association, has attacked Tebbit’s demands.

Jackie McDonald is the brigadier of the UDA’s feared South Belfast Brigade, a position he has held since the assassination by the IRA of charismatic UDA

brigadier John McMichael in 1988.

During the Troubles the UDA was the largest of a number of loyalist paramilitary groups, and claims the responsibility for hundreds of deaths over the thirty year period. Bitter enemies of the IRA, the idea that a senior UDA man would support McGuinness’s bid for the Irish Presidency may seem absurd.

Yet McDonald claims he now sees McGuinness as “a man of peace,” and contests that it would be unfair for McGuinness to have to tell the whole truth about his involvement in the Provisional IRA. It is difficult to read McDonald’s real motives. Is he being sincere, or is he perhaps hoping a presidential victory for McGuinness will remove the Republican from Ulster politics for good?

McDonald’s stance may seem surprising, and yet surely the starkest thing to come out of all this is the shadow which is still cast by the sorry events of Ireland’s recent history. On one hand McGuinness has been instrumental in bringing peace to Ulster’s streets, and yet on the other he was for many years a member of an undeniably brutal terrorist organisation. Such a record would certainly exclude him from running in election campaigns in almost any other EU country.

Yet in Ireland, having former criminals in power is now sadly regarded as the norm. It makes sense to have Unionist and Republican figureheads working side by side in Stormont, but can

SHADY PAST: McGuinness has gained support for his presidential campaign despite his history with the IRA McGuinness really justify his presence in the south too? A reformed man he may be, but how can the spectre of his grim past not follow him over the border? Is he the sort of man the people of the Irish Republic are comfortable to have representing them? Does his presence run the risk of infecting younger generations as-

yet free of the stain of the Troubles?

Even more importantly, is McGuinness prepared to take on the responsibility of the Republic? Shrewd and experienced he certainly is, but there are few greater political challenges in Europe at this time than the economically-crippled south of Ireland. Jackie McDonald,

sinn fein

Robbie MacNiven discusses the Irish presidential campaign and the future for Sinn Féin MP Martin McGuinness

in his defence of McGuinness, has also praised the work of the current president, Mary McAleese. Is Northern Ireland’s deputy first minister really ready to fill her shoes?

Sinn Féin seems to think so. Whether the rest of the Republic agrees remains to be seen.

What's your angle?

Humanitarian intervention in Libya was necessary, argues Daniel Kraemer, but its implementation left many sceptical and tens of thousands of deaths have been reported. For much of the viewing public, the implementation of UN resolution 1973 was a test for the concept of humanitarian intervention; a second chance after the debacle of Iraq. After

DIVISIVE: NATO's mission in Libya has attracted both praise and criticism

internews network

NATO’s on-going mission in Libya has brought out the best and the worst in humanitarian intervention.

Since Western forces began bombarding Gaddafi strongholds on 19 March this year, billions of dollars have been spent

six months of involvement in Libya, with pockets of pro-Gaddafi forces continuing to put up a fight, questions are beginning to be asked about the motivations behind the intervention as well as the future of post-Gaddafi Libya.

There are two conflicting aspects of the NATO mission which present different verdicts on the future of liberal intervention. First, it showed how important having the option of international intervention is. With stories continuously appearing that detailed horrific atrocities were being carried out by Gaddafi’s regime before and during the conflict, the decision by the UN Security Council to pass the resolution has been proved right. One may argue to death that the West (the US in particular) cannot be the world’s policeman, picking and choosing the regimes it wants to fight, but when a group of poorly armed citizens are at risk of being systematically killed, it is the duty of the international community to do something about it. In this light, the

UN gets the credit: the passage of Resolution 1973 gave legitimacy to an urgent humanitarian operation and avoided the image of an aggressive dictator attacking and killing his own people.

However, the flipside of the issue shows how intervention is still mis-handled and over-influenced by unwanted actors. There are worrying signs, such as the allegation at the beginning of September that the French government secured a promise of 35% of Libya’s oil production in return for support for the National Transitional Council. This illustrates perfectly the reason that humanitarian intervention has received a bad name in recent years.

While interventions may seem like a selfless act at the time they are undertaken, enacted for the good of mankind, there always seems to be some suspect behind-the-scenes dealings. Stories like these, along with the neglect of similar situations such as in Syria, suggest that some of the decisions made at the Secu-

rity Council were not purely humanitarian, but in fact had ulterior motives. This aspect of the Libya mission highlights the inadequacy of our international system, and should pave the way for clearer and more authoritative directives from the UN concerning what justifies intervention, the method, when to stop, and all the other issues which seem to be without definition at the moment.

One of the opening lines of the UN Charter is the commitment to reaffirm faith in human rights. In this light, humanitarian intervention remains valuable in the international arena today, and should continue to be a credible option for the international community to take as a last resort. However, for it to sustain legitimacy as a concept, the involvement and influence of individual states must be diminished, and replaced by an assertive international system which will instil fear in those planning atrocities like those which occurred – and without a doubt were prevented – in Libya.

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Comment 10

�

Just a mirage?

On September 25 King Abdullah of the ultra-conservative Kingdom of Saudi Arabia announced several changes to the country’s electoral law, resulting in the franchise being extended to women for the first time in the kingdom’s history.

The key change to Saudi electoral law is that women will finally be able to both vote in and stand as candidates in the country’s municipal elections.

King Abdullah has however stated that these changes won’t actually come into effect until the 2015 election, meaning that Saudi women will not be able to participate in this year’s election. The change also means that Saudi women will be able to be appointed to the country’s highest political body, the Shura Council.

“

The question is whether these reforms are a sign of things to come, or a move to pacify domestic protestors, woo fellow Arab countries and give the kingdom a more moderate image."

On paper, these changes sound extremely important. Their actual effects, however, are not so impressive. Despite the changes, political power will remain concentrated where it always has been - with the Saudi royalty. Even the Shura Council lacks real power, as it is a purely advisory body. As a result, legislative responsibility will still remain largely in the hands of the royal

family and outside the reach of Saudi Arabia’s women.

If the changes don’t actually mean much, the question then is: why have these alterations been brought in at this time?

Some analysts seem to be pushing the view that King Abdullah is a reformer, and that this is part of his gradual progress of his favoured programme of reform. This is a possibility, but it’s more likely that there are pragmatic reasons behind this announcement. It shouldn’t be forgotten that Syria’s President Assad was also labelled as a reformer when he became president, yet is currently attempting to bloodily put down the largely peaceful protests in his country.

There are three main audiences for this decision: the domestic audience, the Arab world, and the western world. Saudi Arabia hasn’t seen demonstrations on the same scale as in other Arab countries such as Egypt or Syria; however, the Saudi Arabian government has still been under pressure from certain pro-reform groups from within the kingdom. Women played an extremely important role in the protests seen in Saudi Arabia and have been demanding both electoral reform and changes to the country’s licensing laws, which currently make it impossible for women to obtain a driving license. This extension of the franchise is likely an attempt to placate these female protesters.

Turkey, Iran and Saudi Arabia are all regional powers and are all currently trying to expand their influence in the region in the wake of the Arab Spring.

With the fall of Mubarak in Egypt, Saudi Arabia lost a valuable partner in the region. Saudi Arabia is very aware that the populations of countries such as Egypt which so recently underwent

SCEPTICS vs. OPTIMISTS: Debate has raged about the real difference the vote will make to Saudi women revolutions may dislike their governments being on friendly terms with countries like Saudi Arabia, whose leadership and governing methods they may view as being similarly repressive. As a result, the people may prefer their governments to seek closer ties with democratic Turkey over dictatorial Saudi Arabia. For Saudi Arabia to remain a regional power it must preserve its ties with these countries, and the appearance of reform would certainly help this.

Countries such as the USA and the UK can often have a difficult time explaining how they can be so critical of regimes in the Middle East such as Syria's while simultaneously remain-

ing on extremely friendly terms with Saudi Arabia. Any attempt by Saudi Arabia to reform, or at the very least give the impression of reform, will therefore make it easier for these countries to justify their relationship on the basis that the country is a preferable alternative to the regimes of which it is critical.

Ultimately, the question is whether these reforms are a sign of things to come or a symbolic move to pacify domestic protesters, woo fellow Arab countries, and give the kingdom a more moderate image. King Abdullah recently overturned a court ruling which sentenced several women convicted of breaking the driving ban

The ultimate price

to lashings. This fact suggests it is possible that more reforms are on the way, with Saudi women perhaps gaining the ability to drive soon. A law is only as effective as its enforcement, and if Saudi women who break the unofficial ban face no punishment, the ban is effectively over.

What this change of policy shows is that through taking to the streets, Saudi Arabia’s women appear to have been able to force concessions from the government. Hopefully, instead of dampening the protest movement, these concessions will encourage more Saudi citizens to find their voices, join the protests, and try and bring about greater change.

The execution of Troy Davis heralds the return of the death penalty to America's national debate, says Dominic Sowa

On Wednesday 21 September, as he lay strapped to a gurney in the death chamber of the Georgia Diagnostics and Classification Prison, Troy Davis turned to the family of Mark MacPhail and for the final time pronounced his innocence. “I did not personally kill your son, father and brother,” Davis said “I am innocent.” He then called on the MacPhail family to keep searching for the truth. Quickly losing consciousness following the lethal injection, he died fourteen minutes later at 11.08 pm EDT. The execution of Troy Davis was supposed to end in a simple statistic of the thirty-fourth man to be executed in the USA this year. His case, however, is unique due to a number of factors. Davis had faced his execution three times before; each of which resulted in a stay of execution, twice requested by the Supreme Court of the United States.

The evidence of the case had been under examination by the Supreme Court again while Davis was finally executed last Wednesday.

However, most significant for the United States now, post-execution, is

the public outcry. Unlike most of the other thirty-three killed in 2011, Davis’s death galvanised a fierce opposition to the cruelty and often arbitrary nature of the American justice system in a way never before seen in recent times. His death has been called a watershed moment, and it is felt by those involved in his campaign and those sympathetic to it that Wednesday 21 was the beginning of a newly energised movement aimed at changing judicial practices in the US. Davis was convicted and sentenced to death following the murder of police officer Mark MacPhail on 19 August 1989, who was shot and killed while coming to the aid of a homeless man.

Witnesses linked him to the scene; this has never been in question. Nine witnesses identified him as the shooter and, following a trial in 1991, he was sentenced to death by a Georgian jury.

Davis’ case is different as it underlines what is seen as the reality of a system more interested in executing and disposing of convicted criminals rather than, like Davis asked of the MacPhail family, to search for the truth. Although no gun was found and no conclusive

DNA evidence was ever discovered, Troy was executed on the word of nine people, of which seven retracted their statements following the trial, stating various degrees of police pressure on them to pick out Davis as the shooter.

“

Davis' death galvanised a fierce opposition to the cruelty and often arbitrary nature of the American justice system."

The execution of a man whose guilt was so widely doubted makes a mockery of the justice system. The decision to follow through with the judgement despite significant protest has the potential to bring the debate over the role of capital punishment in the US back into public and political discourse. It will certainly become an issue in the next presidential

election due to the advocacy of Republican contender Rick Perry for capital punishment and his pride in his judicial record as Governor of Texas.

However, what is of real interest is the response that this case has created around the US in campaigning organisations. The anti-capital punishment movement is limited there. Vocal campaigners like Amnesty USA, the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People are strong, yet they are not specifically focused on the death penalty and so are unable to muster the necessary leadership and strength to bring in real change. The only fully staffed, national group focused on the abolition of the capital punishment is the National Coalition to Abolish Death Penalty.

As a result of Wednesday’s actions, a vocal and influential minority have begun to place their support behind abolition or, at least, legal change and review. Former president Jimmy Carter called on Wednesday being a decisive step towards the total rejection of capital punishment, while his fellow ex-

catherine dillon

Lewis Dunne considers the motives behind the extension of the vote to the women of Saudi Arabia

president Bill Clinton wants to see appeals processes slowed down to properly consider DNA evidence that could, in the case of Davis, have proved his innocence if administered. Even celebrities like Alec Baldwin, Kim Kardashian and Mia Farrow have publicly shown their opposition to the execution of Davis in particular, and to the death penalty in general.

America is a nation where justice is administered on a local and statewide level. The failure of the protests to stop the execution is a testament to the support that such practices hold in the US. However, the execution of a man whose culpability was so much in doubt is drawing together a movement into an increasingly influential and energised force. The NAACP has stated it will step up its campaigns and others see this only as the beginning of a long and arduous battle that has caught the minds of the world. This is a battle that matters because as his supporters say, we are all Troy Davis, the powerless man or woman before a justice system that many no longer trust.

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Comment 11

Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths on the link between materialism and child unhappiness It seems that something still doesn’t sit quite right in the UK in comparison with its European neighbours, despite consistently high living standards. Buying up everything modern society has to offer is assumed to be synonymous with a high quality of life by many Brits. The statistics suggest otherwise. According to a study carried out by UNICEF, a fear of "brand bullying" is taking hold of British parents, causing damage to family relationships and warping the younger generations' perception of what is truly valuable in life.

The extensive study compared families in the UK, Spain and Sweden. Parents and children were quizzed about quotidian family life, and why they felt compelled to keep up with trends. The findings revealed that, despite an overriding compulsion to buy top brands, a high percentage of participants said that they felt that time with family and friends and engaging in creative or active pursuits was what brought real satisfaction to children. It seems that branded products are merely a symbol of status rather than possessions to be

cherished or put to good use. Even more tellingly, it was the more affluent families included in the study who placed more emphasis upon outdoor and extracurricular activities rather than flashy phones and games consoles. Could it be that class snobbery is still making an impact on people’s lives? It is a terrible shame, but these results clearly indicate that families who earn less force themselves to buy such products out of insecurity, a compulsion known as conspicuous consumption, making it clear that parents are self-conscious about the relative affluence of their family compared to other, wealthier, families. In my opinion, the spending cycle cannot possibly be stopped while people are still putting up a false front about their true economic situation.

The study also revealed that Spanish and Swedish families were more confident in their parenting abilities and were far more comfortable about talking their problems through together rather than ignoring them.

Spanish and Swedish children also

Erin mc hammer

Spending suffering

displayed an understanding of their parents’ financial situations far more thoroughly than British children.

Should children be expected to take such an active interest in their parents’ finances during the most carefree period of their lives? While it is natural to want your children to experience a stress-free childhood and to want for nothing, I feel that it is essential that they have a grasp of the relative value of money and possessions as early as possible, making parenting easier and financial troubles less likely in the long run.

Collectively, these results seem to point to a serious lack of self-esteem in British families. A vicious cycle has begun to appear in the pattern of family life; parents work longer hours, spend less time with their children, lavish their hard-earned cash on the latest accessories to parade in front of their peers, and end up working some more to keep up with such trends.

Fears that children will be targeted by their peers for not having flashy possessions are somewhat unfounded.

While respondents demonstrated a

slight obsession with having the latest version of the Blackberry or iPhone, many confessed to a preference for family time and sharing experiences with friends. British parents need to trust their own instincts and go back to basics by simply spending time together. Sitting the whole family down for a meal, going on family outings, even playing board games together can strengthen the bond and sense of security between family members.

It is not always easy to find the time to keep a family together, as demonstrated by many Spanish mothers who felt that they had sacrificed time for themselves in the name of the family.

However, it was unanimously agreed that the close knit family relationships created were worth the effort. Personally I would agree; you may be able to scrape together the cash for a new Mac if you’re savvy enough about saving and earning for yourself, but there is nothing more priceless than savouring family time that you won’t be able to get back once children have grown up and flown the nest.

“

It can only be a good thing to have a nation of children who genuinely enjoy the simpler things in life."

Spain, Sweden, and the UK shared very similar worries about money and finances, but the difference lies in how each country handles such matters.

European nations know how to prioritise and teach their children about money, and about the value of family life. It can only be a good thing to have a nation full of active, happy children who are not constantly throwing strops about not having a PS3 or the latest version of the iPad, and who genuinely enjoy the simpler things in life. There is a limit as to how far the nation’s parents can stretch until both their finances as well as their home life begin to suffer.

Secularising society

Tom Nash explores how churches might re-interpret marriage to include same-sex couples

As a naive English first-year coming to Edinburgh, part of the joy of university is discovering forms of culture and expression virtually unheard of back home. For example, being taught what a ned was (non-Scots: look it up!) and learning the hard way that you cannot buy alcohol after ten in shops. But the most fascinating difference is the news.

There are certain major stories here that are virtually unreported on "British" news back home. The one I want to focus on concerns the biggest social change Scotland has faced in decades: legalising gay marriage.

“

I do not believe the Bible is the word of God ... some of its teachings are unacceptable in modern society."

Last week, the SNP’s biggest donor, Brian Souter, gave an interview to the Sunday Times where he criticised the recent proposal to legalise same-sex

marriage. He argued that such a move would result in a “Babylonian-Greek society where sex is a recreational activity”. He also seemed to suggest that any relationship that wasn’t cemented with a heterosexual marriage could not succeed. These remarks terrified me in two ways. Firstly, that such ignorant views could and still do exist in the 21st century, and secondly, that this man has such power in one of the biggest political parties in the UK. Souter’s objections are so ludicrous that I need not go into great detail in debunking them. Needless to say, sex is and has been a recreational activity for some time, and marriage does not always equal happiness. But there are some issues that do need to be addressed in the same-sex marriage question, which Souter either glanced over briefly, or did not bother to raise at all.

Firstly, how can the religious definition of marriage be reconciled with modern society? Souter’s opinion of marriage seems to hover around the traditional conservative view that takes inspiration directly from the Bible: marriage is a union between a man and a woman before God, so that

they may raise a family together. By this definition, gay marriage is impossible.

However, Christianity is so complex a religion that it is not the case that one definition will suit all. Personally, I do not agree with this traditional view. I would call myself a Christian, but I’m also fairly liberal in my beliefs. I do not believe the Bible is the word of God, but I do believe that it can convey many inspiring and interesting messages. It is also, however, intrinsically flawed. Some of its teachings - that women must be subservient to men, for example - are simply unacceptable in modern society; such views are products of the time in which it was written. Therefore, we must change the definition of marriage to fit with society as it is now. A better alternative would be "a union between two individuals based on love before God, and a promise that they will support each other throughout their relationship." My view might be fairly difficult for some Christians to accept, but I feel that we have to move on from such religious conservatism. Religion cannot get in the way of social progress.

The other side of this argument, however, raises the issue of state inter-

vention. Does the state have the right to determine religious policy? Here the answer is not so simple. It would depend on what the state was trying to implement. In this case, because I am in favour of legalising same-sex marriage, it doesn’t bother me at all.

However, if this case is allowed to go through, what’s to stop future governments from enforcing beliefs that are less well-intentioned? If you make one exception, there is the potential for the grey areas in moral issues to be taken advantage of by less-tolerant political parties in the future, as has happened before (do any Conservatives still remember Section 28?).

Does this risk mean that we should give up on such an important fight?

Of course not: this is a case in which I think we have to intervene. We’re at a real turning point here: the time where religion has to accept that it is no longer the dominant voice in our society. It cannot get away with expressing views that are intolerable for the rest of society. Same-sex marriage is supported by the majority of Scottish people, regardless of what Brian Souter thinks.

Cat burglar If there is one thing guaranteed to damn you in the hearts and minds of the British public, it is compromising the personal boundaries of cats. We well remember the torrential tempest of disgust rained down upon Mary Bale AKA Cat Bin Lady AKA That Cat-Hating Harpy, the woman who imprisoned hapless moggy Lola in a wheelie bin in Coventry last year.

This year’s cat-astrophe (thank you folks, we’re here all week!) concerns the estranged wife of Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming, Christine. Found guilty this week of burgling her husband’s girlfriend’s cat from the woman’s home in Birmingham, CCTV evidence from her trial shows the criminal stealthily creeping around and entering the victim’s home, then slipping off into the night with kitten Beauty tucked her one arm.

What could possibly be the catalyst (HAHAHA) for such a crime?

Well, Christine Hemming’s motive is somewhat clearer than Ms Bale’s, if no more sensical. A wronged wife getting some small measure of vengeance against, in her mind, the husband-stealer and home-wrecker at the root of her marital strife? It’s a familiar story to us all, if misdirected towards a feline rather than a femme fatale.

However, there are many similarities in the two cases. Both culprits were middle-aged women. Both crimes took place in the Midlands.

Both crimes were committed (need we remind you?) against cats. What is striking is the statements of both women regarding their crimes.

Bale: “I cannot explain why I did this, it is completely out of character and I certainly did not intend to cause any distress to Lola or her owners.”

Hemming: “I had no intention of stealing a cat – either before I went to the property, when I was at the property, when I left the property, and subsequently.”

Do you see?

If their statements are true, these women are to be pitied, not castigated. Hemming asserts that she went to the house to re-deliver post meant for her husband, when she was suddenly compelled to filch the feline. They are clearly both suffering from a very particular psychological condition that leads them to random cruelty towards cats and cat-owners. Or, perhaps, a sinister Solihull-based hypnotist is lulling these women into a state of cat-atonia (LAUGH, DAMN YOU, LAUGH) to sow discord and confusion among the British public (and those of the West Midlands in particular). It's anyone's guess, really.

Lewis Macdonald

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13 Features

The state of the arts

In the wake of the Forest's closure, Alva Träbert investigates��������������� the future of Edinburgh's ����������������������������������� independent arts venues Edinburgh is a vibrant city, full of bars and cafés, small quirky shops, museums and nightlife. It boasts dozens of cultural festivals each year, including the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the largest of its kind worldwide.

Generally speaking, it’s easy to find an exhibition to suit more eclectic tastes or a restaurant that serves good vegetarian food. Students have always been drawn to independent cafés, bookshops and community centres, where events, products and services are not always cheaper, but more diverse.

For a city as proud of its cultural heritage as Edinburgh, diversity is vital.

Yes, we are already host to big-selling artists and entertainers, and the city centre is practically flooded in touring season alone, never mind the rest of the year.

High-profile entertainment is an integral part of Edinburgh’s flair. But what the majority of tourists and Fringe-goers don’t realise is just how expensive and competitive it is. Only a small number of artists come out of it with a profit. Many performers are thankful to at least break even.

Sadly, over the past one and a half years, Edinburgh has seen a string of independent venues close. The Big Red Door was one of the first to go. The latest one to clear out was the Forest on Bristo Place, which has been closed for just over a month now, leaving the building empty.

From top: gibsongreen, edinburghguide.com, raunak dash

“

Did people lose interest? On the contrary: there is now an impressive fundraising campaign to bring the Forest back."

Did people lose interest? On the contrary: there is now an impressive fundraising campaign to bring it back. Was it not profitable enough? The Forest wasn’t run for profit. So just what had happened?

Forest is a community-based project that took the shape of a vegetarian café, arts and performance space run by a community of volunteers from all walks of life, situated very close to campus. As a multi-arts venue, it provided a stage to countless young artists and won multiple awards with its Forest Fringe progamme.

It offered rehearsal space for bands and theatre groups, a darkroom, a publishing house, a swap shop, a record label, a hairdresser and massage corner, and a cozy space to chill out without the pressure of having to buy anything.

Apart from the hairdresser and massage corner, none of the above were run for profit. The café’s earnings covered the rent for the building, a beautiful conversion of the nineteenth century Edinburgh Congressional Church. Proceeds flowed back into maintaining the facilities and making gigs, workshops and arts projects

possible.

Anyone could get involved, and events were always free, asking for a donation at most. “If you’re the kind of person that hangs out in the chaplaincy, you’ll know what I mean when I say that, for me, the Forest was like the chaplaincy of the city”, says Edinburgh student Neus Giner Garcia.

While some volunteers were bound to be more involved than others, Forest did not belong to anyone. For the best part of a decade, the building was rented from Edinburgh University Settlement, who were declared bankrupt and forced into administration last year. Along with their other properties it was passed on to PricewaterhouseCoopers, who closed down venues as soon as possible and put buildings up for sale.

The Roxy Arthouse was shut down within days. The Forest’s lease allowed

them to stay for another six months, and in the meantime plenty of prospective buyers showed interest - among them Tesco and The Mosque Kitchen. But sale after sale fell through – the building is listed, and furious community protests prevented planning permission to change the interior.

Then the Forest collective made a bold plan: to buy the building, and secure the space for the future. A business plan was made. If everyone gave a little, and creative fundraising events covered the rest, a deposit could be paid. The mortgage could then be covered by the café’s proceeds.

A fundraising frenzy began. What at first sounded a little ambitious suddenly began to look possible. People who had no previous business experience launched themselves into the project wholeheartedly. They gave money. They

pledged money. They played free gigs.

They bought bits and pieces of the Forest interior at a fundraising art auction. They spread the word. They took their story to Parliament. And it paid off.

“

Our cities and our public spaces are increasingly operated on an entirely forprofit ethos" Marty Peacock, Forest-goer During the Fringe, internationally successful performers such as Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley and Margaret Cho took to the Forest stage, helping to raise

awareness and money. Young Dawkins, Scottish Slam Poetry Champion and Edinburgh University’s former Vice Principal, has spoken out in support.

So have several MSPs. Alison Johnstone, Lothian Region’s Green MSP, even lodged a parliamentary motion calling on Holyrood to support the Forest’s fundraising efforts. In a press release, she said, “The Forest has been a unique asset to Edinburgh for more than a decade and it must have a secure future.”

Marco Biagi, SNP’s MSP for Edinburgh Central, stated that ������������ “����������� The Forest isn’t just a really original, creative and free-thinking space, it’s also one of the few places in Edinburgh I can buy and munch on vegan cakes. Its contribution to the city is one-of-a-kind and I hope to see it continue.”The vital deposit is set at £100,000. Amazingly, half of that sum has already been raised.

Edinburgh has become worryingly short of cultural resources of this kind.

Some cling on - Out of the Blue, situated just off Leith Walk, is a studio and production space for artists, running a café, arts classes, exhibitions and an indoor food market. But as Harry Giles, official Fundraising Officer for the ������ “����� Save the Forest�������������������������������� ” campaign, ������������������������������ points out, �������� “������� in the city centre, and more poignantly, in the centre of the university district, no independent, volunteer-run arts spaces exist anymore.��”� While the Forest campaign has reached an unprecedented scale, however, it is not the only initiative of its kind. Another group of volunteers is trying to save the old Odeon theatre on Clerk Street from demolition, and restore it to its former glory as a venue for theatre, film and live music. Under the name New Victoria, it had been showcasing international acts since the 1930s, including bands such as Blondie, Van Morrison, The Clash, Lou Reed, Patti Smith, and Eric Clapton.

Campaigns like these show just how important free, accessible cultural spaces are – to students, and to Edinburgh's wider population. They provide a rare platform for people from different walks of life to meet, to work together creatively, and realise ideas that they could hardly have realised alone. They provide safe spaces. Campaigns like this also show how much power a community really has, and how many creative ways it can find to fight for something it really cares about.

In the words of Forest-goer Marty Peacock, ��������������������������� “�������������������������� Our cities and our public spaces are increasingly operated on an entirely for-profit ethos; the permeation of an ideology that has encroached on all aspects of our lives. As an artist, a musician, an actor, a lover of cities and the vitality of urban spaces that are run for people and not for profit, I miss Forest.��”� Now is the time to get involved and bring it back.

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Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

13 Features

Edinburgh's vicious cycle

catherine dillon

Catherine Dillon and Ed Curwen delve deeper into the city's growing network of organised bike thieves

It was your average chilly evening last November when I discovered that Leanne, my beloved bicycle, had disappeared from where I had left her. The heartbreak was acute and as I bored the library reception with my story of loss, I became just another victim added to the list of those who have had bicycles stolen in Edinburgh.

While local professionals, as well as the police, admit that the problem of bike theft is not a new one, it has progressed to a much larger and more structured scale. The substantial student population who return every September and adorn the fences of George Square with every type of twowheeled contraption, when combined with the ever-increasing popularity of the bike as an eco-friendly alternative to the car, creates an abundance of choice and ample opportunity for the wily bike thief.

Another factor contributing to the high rate of bike theft is the internet.

One name comes up repeatedly, muttered through the gritted teeth of Edinburgh’s constabulary: Gumtree.

The bane of any enquiry officer’s life, secondhand websites such as these make selling on stolen bikes, or often parts of bikes, an easy affair, especially to the student buyer hunting online for a good deal. Opaque and often untraceable, the virtual world can be a profitable one, and the brand new bikes that are on sale for £50 online are probably too good to be true.

According to our police source, if you are found to be riding an identified stolen bike, even when unwittingly bought, they can confiscate it there and then. When asked how one should recognise a stolen bike, the police spokesman seemed convinced that anyone should be suspicious of being sold a shiny pair of wheels for a fraction of its market price, as it is likely

not to be a legal transaction.

The unique serial number on the frame of every bicycle (which, he also advises, every bike owner should record) can also be compared with descriptions from complaints on police databases. To the average person, however, it is extremely difficult to tell.

After a severe spike in this problem of bike theft across the country over the past few years, with a 75 per cent rise in London being indicative of the trend nationwide, police finally reacted. It was soon realised that the days of opportunist chancers were fading out, replaced by a more ominous organisation of networks, working systematically to their own modus operandi.

“

The buyer would often be lined up before the theft took place and the turnaround period was normally less than 24 hours."

Bike theft could no longer be tackled by simply increasing officer numbers on the streets: this recent trend of pre-meditated crime required a more sophisticated police response. So, beginning in May this year, Lothian and Borders Police launched "Operation Cello". The officer we interviewed asked to remain anonymous as this plainclothes operation is still ongoing. The picture he gave us, however, is intriguing.

The police response has three component parts: prevention, intelligence and enforcement. Prevention is perhaps the most obvious: properly locking up and marking your bike. How-

ever, it is worth noting as bike thieves have got more sophisticated, removing cut cables and frozen-open D locks, so too have the methods which deter them. UV marking and electronic tags within the frame are unseen by most, but a real deterrent for people who know what they are looking for.

The real difference, however, has been in police intelligence regarding bike crime. For the past six months, plainclothes police have been putting together a detailed picture of the way bike theft in Edinburgh works. What they found was astonishing. An underground network of between eight and ten organised bike thieves and dealers was responsible for the vast majority of recent bike theft in Edinburgh. Police got to know their routines so well that they could predict which streets would be targeted each day. Having such a clear picture of this newly developed network allowed the police to act much more effectively.

Enforcement became much easier once the way bike crime was happening was better understood. This allowed police to solve a remarkable number of bike thefts reported in July this year, as well as several that had not been reported, and more from the previous months. Eight people were found to be responsible for approximately 200 bike thefts between them, with high-end racing and mountain bikes effectively stolen to order. The buyer would often be lined up before the theft took place and the turn-around period was normally less than 24 hours.

Understandably, the police were unwilling to give us too many details of ongoing operations, but we were able to ascertain that as a result of the initiative’s new successes there are currently two dedicated officers on the beat, as well as one plainclothes committed to "Operation Cello". Also

involved is an officer from the Western Pentlands Crime Patrol, a group normally responsible for undercover anti-drug operations. Whilst they do their best to tackle this problem, a police spokesman admitted that “to be honest, half the problem is that bikes are just so easy to steal.”

“

An underground network of between eight and ten organised bike thieves and dealers was responsible for the vast majority of recent bike theft in Edinburgh."

This being said, the nature of the crime can mean that occasionally independent factors, unaccounted for by the lawbreaker, can make stealing bikes an unpredictable venture. A fellow student and recent victim of bike theft told me how, having discovered her bike to be stolen, she got a call from a friend who had just seen it attached to a lamppost on the Royal Mile, far from the bike’s original parking place.

Determined to retrieve it before it could disappear forever, she rushed down with a hacksaw and cut through her own lock to set the bicycle free, leaving an appropriately unimpressed note on the lamppost. While the story is obviously a happy one, it points out just how easily a bike lock can be broken through and the bike taken. “Lock it or lose it” advises the police pamphlet, preferably with a solid Kevlar or D-shaped lock (both experience and the experts tell me that flimsy plasticcoated metal coils are insufficient), as

well as ‘cycle marking’ your bike and registering it with the police.

Leaving it in a conspicuous area (no dark alleyways) is also recommended, maybe taking advantage of the underadvertised university bike sheds there for students’ disposal. Phil, a volunteer at The Bike Station in Newington, recommends taking a photo, marking the bike with invisible ink, and noting any defining scratches.

Depressingly, the overriding sense seems to be that whatever you do, if someone wants to steal your bike, they will go to great lengths to do it. The people who were arrested as a result of the initiative "Operation Cello" quite clearly “knew what they were doing”.

Just to make us even more paranoid, the Lothian and Borders bike leaflet claims that “50% of bikes are stolen from the owner’s property”.

Comfortable as we may be in the thought that our little friends are safe at the entrance of our block of flats, it is incredible the number of bikes left unlocked in a hallway where the front door does not even close properly. But it isn’t all bad. After his bicycle was stole from the Omni Centre, the same bicycle he had bought with money left to him in his grandmother’s will, a young boy thought he had seen the last of it. Police intelligence, however, enabled the bike to be tracked down and reunited with its relieved owner.

Despite the threatening cloud of possibility that our bikes will at any moment be swiped from beneath us, we continue to use them, providing easy targets for the bike thieves of Edinburgh. Apart from the obvious explanations of time saving and carbonreducing, it must be something to do with the exhilarating sense of freedom we feel, gliding past comparatively sluggish passers-by, that keeps us running that risk.

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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14 12 Features

#TwitterStillTrending

Spencer E. Holtaway

Rachel McKeown on the ever-growing influence of the social networking site

Over 175 million users, over 84 countries, over 200 million tweets... that’s a few too many soap boxes to fit in Hyde Park corner. Self-expression is an integral part of contemporary society and modern technology has provided numerous platforms - like Twitter - to give each person a voice.

Half a century ago public debate in the media was limited for the everyman, who could perhaps send the occasional letter to an editor, give a speech at an event or, more likely, engage in a heated discussion with a next-door neighbour.

Today the likes of Twitter allow everyone with access to the internet the ability to immediately publish their opinions without censure, insofar as modern social standards allow.

Twitter has become an incredibly powerful tool due to the simplicity of its concept: micro-blogging with the user in mind. It provides the opportunity for an international audience through an easy-to-use interface in the same way as Facebook, and both social network giants began as not-for-profit projects designed to make networking easier for the individual. Short and sweet tweets propel information quickly and easily to all. What’s not to like?

Any move away from Twitter would necessarily require a hefty competitor, not least because the site’s overwhelming popularity has become a cultural movement in and of itself.

Twitter and Facebook continue to coexist harmoniously due to their fundamental differences – Facebook remains the go-to for friends and acquaintances trying to stay in touch, whilst Twitter took the status feature

and turned it into a franchise. Friends, acquaintances, service providers and celebrities alike can now comment on anything and everything in 140 characters.

Twitter serves a social and political tool, too. The extent of Twitter’s influence on the success of the Egyptian rebellion is as yet undecided, but it was crucial in allowing protesters to communicate and connect with one another across the county, mustering support both internally and internationally within days. Organisation, along with a sense of solidarity, allowed the rebellion to begin, and a worldwide audience could follow the events with thousands of immediate accounts from primary sources. Accessibility of everyone, to everyone, is the key to Twitter’s power.

“

Modern technology has provided numerous platforms - like Twitter - to give each person a voice" Even in other contexts, celebrities' and politicians' 'lifecasting' closes the geographical and social gap between leader and follower. However this can lead to more varied results - stars like Britney Spears have claimed that by choosing to release information themselves, they reclaim some power from the paparazzi’s more invasive means of reporting, whilst still involving their fans.

On the other side of the coin, im-

pulsive tweets feed an ever-growing rumour mill. One tweet can lead to hundreds more in discussion. David Cameron criticised this aspect of Twitter on a live radio broadcast, “The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it… too many twits might make a twat” – the grim irony being, of course, that the impulsive comment was inappropriate for day-time radio and the shame-faced Tory leader had to apologise repeatedly for the slur.

The internet has provided the individual with an immediate means of publication which has allowed public debates and movements to gain rapid momentum and heat – such as the student riots or the recent looting. It remains to be seen, though, whether such discussions can gain too much momentum, rendering a majority opinion almost a mob mentality.

Public debate and freedom of expression are important, but if it reaches the extent that people no longer mean what they say and their thoughts are published, they can, and have, been held accountable. Twitter’s accessibility and convenient use has been the downfall of some users, in the case of Paul Chambers, who made a casual, but inappropriate, comment, without the full realisation that there was a broader audience.

Twitter and other social networking sites have now come to this crossroads where people need to be aware that freedom of expression applies to the right to hold opinions and relate their ideas, but also that this freedom comes legally with duties and responsibilities. As relatively new territory, it seems that a lot of people are unsure of how Twitter and other sites are regu-

lated.

Twitter maintains that it does not support any illegal material on its network but it has been suggested that further steps should be taken to regulate it. It is here that we come into the much-traversed debate of where freedom of expression stops and where societal standards of acceptability apply.

When standing on a soapbox,

“

Twitter's accessibility and convenient use has been the downfall of some users, such as in the case of Paul Chambers" speaking your mind, there is no trail other than the witnesses present.

However, on the internet publication means an immediate record of possibly ill-expressed or offensive writing.

Recently, on a matter close to many students’ hearts, the student protesters have used Twitter to communicate and organise demonstrations.

In response to the riots, Cameron suggested that social network users, who were suspected of the intention to riot rather than protest, should be banned from sites such as Twitter.

This was dismissed, but the fact that Twitter could be seen to have so much power and be such a potential risk is significant in itself. It also again raises the issue of freedom of expression and the right to protest.

We must then question how an open society can ban undesirable topics from being discussed. Many argue that it is in fact the minority who cause the trouble and, if anything, the use of Twitter should be encouraged so that more individuals comment and involve themselves in public debate so that debates truly represent a cross section of society.

Twitter’s accessibility and convenience have made it the power that it is today. Its future cannot be told, although its immediate future will be affected by any regulation that is imposed upon it. Through objecting and challenging the unacceptable, society could potentially self-regulate if done in conjunction with the recognition and exploration of current issues.

Twitter is a means of publication but whether it would be fair to regulate it in the same way as other publications through legal means is debatable.

As a means of news broadcasting, a forum for public debate and even a rumour mill, Twitter looks like it is here to stay. Should Twitter become overly regulated and constrained, we face the possibility of it becoming no more than a PC public announcer.

As it is, Twitter allows for the expression of varied opinion, and for everyone to have a voice, whether that be protesting students or people making twits of themselves. In the Egyptian rebellion, the government blocked Twitter.

We are now faced with the question of whether to allow society to self-regulate and condemn where necessary, or to impose similar legal restrictions on freedom of speech.

Twitter is a medium of self-expression which is free and accessible to all, and most importantly can be celebrated as well as heckled- just like at speaker’s corner.

Twit-trivia

1. Twitter was first launched in March 2006 by Jack Dorsey, Biz Stone, and Evan Williams.

2. During its first three years as a company, Twitter made a total of zero dollars in revenue.

3. 65 per cent of Twitter users are under 25.

4. 5 per cent of users on Twitter account for 75 per cent of all activity.

5. One out of every 350 visits to a website comes from Twitter as a source.

6. Jack Dorsey wrote the first ever tweet on Twitter, which read: "Just setting up my twttr".

7. Around 20 per cent of registered users on Twitter have never posted a tweet.

Tuesday October March 2242011 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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16 Lifestyle

lifestyle

I female orgasm - do you?

THE BEDROOM GARDENER PART ONE: LAST OF THE SUMMER TOMATOES

Jess Frazer-Hanley and Katherine Burr explore the complexities of the female orgasm I love Female Orgasm is the latest phenomenon to reach American colleges which conducts workshops aiming to “illuminate the subject of the female orgasm” to university students. In the wake of the sensation, we decided to investigate how much Edinburgh students thought they knew about the female orgasm, and whether a similar programme was needed over here. After conducting a survey on campus, we were surprised by the number of people willing to talk about the subject.

However, although the boys seemed confident in their technique, the girls’ responses told a different story.

Not being put off by our first male reaction of “Is this for real?!” we persevered, determined to uncover what goes on between the Edinburgh sheets. Although confident in their ability to tell if a girl was “faking it”, and not under pressure to perform, most boys found the topic uncomfortable to talk about, not just with us, but with their partners and friends. The only time it is addressed is for “banter”, and whilst most cared for their girlfriend's pleasure, the girls’ responses didn’t always match up.

“

Although the boys seemed confident in their technique, the girls' responses told a different story."

Whilst girls are a lot less embarrassed and willing to talk about these issues with both friends and partners, when asked “does it happen every time?” most were less enthusiastic (with the exception of one lucky girl whose satisfied response

FAKING IT: It's all smiles, but is she really satisfied? was “he makes sure it does”). This supports research done by I Love Female Orgasm which found that 44 per cent of men say their female partners always have an orgasm during sex, compared to only 22 per cent of the women questioned.

It seems that the female orgasm is a sensitive subject due to its importance in relationships, something every girl and the majority of boys recognised. With such a large proportion of women unable to orgasm, and an apparent lack of pressure on the boys interviewed to address this problem, we decided to bring in the professionals.

We visited a clinic to find out what advice a doctor could give. In a not-at-

all-embarrassing interview, we asked how we can improve our sex lives and whether this is an issue that affects many women.

Along with the usual suggestions of focusing on foreplay and slowing things down, the doctor described how often psychological issues prevent girls from completely relaxing, so discussing things openly with your partner is essential. This news is not exactly ground-breaking, but it does support the results from our interviews, where a lack of communication seems to be the cause of the problem.

When asked about the possibility of an Edinburgh Sex Education programme, most people felt that it wouldn’t work with our reserved British attitude, and also felt

that by this age we have heard it all already.

The fact that the American programme was directed at girls was mentioned, which does seem a little unfair since it is clearly more of a team effort.

Being a more restrained nation does mean that group discussions about these intimate matters are unlikely to be successful, especially as most people are fully aware of the “technicalities”, so the I Love Female Orgasm programme doesn’t seem to have a place here. It appears we will never be entirely comfortable with talking about sex, but hopefully we can find a way to be more open with our partners to make sure that everyone has a good time.

The next best thing to Hogwarts

Separating Scottish fact from fiction can be tricky, as exchange student Rebecca Cohen finds out kilts on ordinary occasions, the actress who plays McGonagall is actually English, and real Scottish whisky has no E. In some ways I’ve been most surprised by how Scotland has conformed to my expectations. The laxity of Europe’s alcohol laws is a cliché in the States, but I didn’t think drinking could be as standard an activity here as pop culture made it seem. I changed my mind when I met the freshmen in my hall, most of whom can drink me under the table. However, as most of them can drink legally they don’t seem to get the same illicit thrill from alcohol as the freshmen back home. This in turn means I’m less likely to find puddles of vomit outside my door from overzealous, underexperienced drinkers – a welcome change from home.

haggis was another American stereotype. I assumed it would be a novelty food for tourists, and when I saw it on the shelf in cans, I almost dropped my shopping basket. It is often the smallest differences that result in the greatest culture shock, because they tend to be the things you don’t see coming or even pick up on. I spent my first 15 minutes on campus wondering why Scottish bikers were so rude, and then someone pointed out I was walking in the bike lane. At my home university, not enough people ride bikes to make a bike lane practical. Moments like that make me feel like an ignorant American, which

is what I’m desperately trying not to be.

If there’s one thing I really want to take away from my study abroad experience, it is greater insight into how the norms I take for granted might differ in other countries. I believe I’m acquiring it, but sometimes the acquisition process is embarrassing.

I’ve been grateful to all the Scots who’ve patiently responded to my questions about how their country actually works, and when I go home in December, I’m looking forward to being able to say to the people who jokingly asked if I tried haggis, "Yes, I did!"

“

I knew as little about Scotland's reality as I did about Uzbekistan's" The persistence of certain Scottish traditions has surprised me. When people at home asked if I was going to try haggis, I laughed it off, because I thought the notion of Scots eating

HAGGIS: Just for tourists, or a Scottish tradition?

MERI TOSH

When I announced my study abroad plans, everyone had one question for me, “Are you going to try haggis?” After that, they usually had another question, “Why Edinburgh?” This is where things got tricky. I developed a variety of answers, each tailored to a specific audience. To my study abroad coordinator, I rambled on about my desire to immerse myself in Edinburgh’s rich literary heritage. To my school friends, I reeled off my scheme to marry a Scotsman, preferably Ewan McGregor circa 2001, and have children with charming accents. What I didn’t say was that Edinburgh was my fallback choice; my home university didn’t offer an exchange programme with Hogwarts. When I shut my eyes, however, I couldn’t help imagining myself in a class full of kilted gingers, listening to a lecture by Professor McGonagall while drinking whiskey by the gallon.

I knew when I applied here my image of Scotland couldn’t be entirely accurate. I had consumed so many stereotypes that I knew as little about Scotland’s reality as I did about Uzbekistan’s. In my first three weeks in Edinburgh, I tried to sort out reality from myth. As expected, many of my preconceptions have proved utterly wrong. I now know only tourists wear

As much as the weather last week has tried to persuade us otherwise, we are approaching the end of the summer season and consequently things are starting to slow down in my greenhouse – sorry, bedroom.

The tomatoes, once the sevenfoot kings of my bay window, have been cut back to encourage them to direct their energies to ripening the last few remaining fruits.

As determined as I was, back in April, that I would be positively replete with tomato-based foodstuffs by now, the glut I anticipated never quite happened. The Black Russian variety produced about six enormous, deep maroon tinged specimens, which were delicious, and the Rosada plant was the most prolific, producing four beautiful vines of cherry tomatoes. Tigerella, though very pretty (the tomatoes live up to their name, with orange and red stripes) was disappointingly lax in terms of productivity: I had about ten fruits off it over the course of the summer, with a few left to ripen. The Ferlines, described to me as “exceptionally useful for soups and stews” are continuing to swell and redden in these last few days of sunshine – I shall report back on their progress next time.

Chilli plants, I was informed by my mother, were a sensible choice for the bedroom gardener – compact, productive, and aesthetically pleasing. She was right, of course.

Perhaps the brief sojourn my fledgling chillis had to her greenhouse whilst I was at Glastonbury can be credited with their success: green wisdom and a sunny patio proved a winning combination and I now have about six chillis on each of my four plants. This may not sound much, but they are powerful little things – one small, green Apache chilli was enough to spice up a large pot of curry the other night.

My orchids remain dormant, stubbornly refusing to flower, though - joy - I have noticed a new leaf on the twin-stem one, which bodes well. The cacti are happy as ever, and the dragon tree is growing at an almost alarming rate since I potted it up. I am planning to begin a hunt for some winter flowering house plants soon – I spotted something with beautiful red berries outside a shop in Morningside a while ago, which I intend to investigate further. I had hoped to put together some sort of herb window box as well but, given Edinburgh’s tendency towards extreme windiness, I’m starting to doubt the wisdom of that. Still, as the weather starts to turn, I’m almost grateful for my lack of a real garden – cold evenings spent weeding are no fun.

Evenings in my armchair next to the tomato gang, on the other hand...

Anna Feintuck

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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17 Technology Techin' the Micky

Lacking real depth

Think 3D cinema is a waste of money? Thom Louis has found something even worse

Tom Hasler

titles are not strong enough to draw fans. Even worse, Nintendo loyalists almost certainly already own Star Fox 64 and Ocarina of Time in original cartridge form and therefore see no reason to purchase an expensive new device to play games that they already own. This leads us to the stark realisation that a Nintendo console, whether it be at home or in the hand, without an original incarnation of our favourite red-clad plumber has little to no draw for fans. Luckily the release list for the following months looks rosy. To begin with, the classic brands Super Mario 3D Land and Mario Kart 7 are due in the next three months. Not to mention the 3D remake of the brilliant freeware platformer Cave Story.

These are promising and exciting releases, but won’t be quite enough to strengthen a release list of around 60 that has aggregated only eight positively reviewed games.

These games are mostly aimed towards Nintendo fans. So, what about the mas-

sive casual gamer base the giant has built up with the Wii? Well, plenty of releases are aimed towards that market; yet another Frogger game was released on 20 September. But these are the releases that use the 3D feature least effectively. It begs the question: why would a casual gamer, who already owns a DS or a Wii, be tempted to spend £170 retail for a 3D feature that makes Mah-jong more difficult to play?

“

Many have found the 3D experience akin to having your eyes gouged out with an ice-cream scoop."

Then there is the functionality of the 3DS. While not everyone has had the opportunity to play the console yet, many have found the 3D experience akin to having your eyes gouged out with an ice-cream scoop.

The way the console has to be held also hurts the experience. Nintendo’s past handhelds could be used at any angle, anywhere. The 3DS, on the other hand, can only be used squarely in front of the face. This limitation, although not fatal, damages the usability and therefore the appeal of the console.

Worse than that, the recent announcement of the extension slide pad, which adds a second analogue stick to the console, admits a key fault. You would have thought that after the poor design of the PSP,

Nintendo wouldn’t have touched a one analogue stick design with a barge pole. The pad also adds an additional battery to make up for the pathetic two to four hour battery life.

Nintendo are attempting to fix their broken console. It is yet to be confirmed how much the pad is going to cost, but the fact that high end games such as Monster Hunter, Kingdom Hearts, and Metal Gear Solid 3 are all going to be pad compatible means the peripheral will be integral to get everything out of these releases.

This is a massive slap in the face to the loyal customers who bought the console in the first place.

The 3DS has many pitfalls holding it back. This is not to say that the console will never sell well; the future releases list is impressive, to say the least. On the other hand, the functionality of the device is a deeper problem, and the high price may be scaring off casual gamers. We are yet to see, however, what effect the price cut has had on sales. The next few months, leading up to Christmas and the packed release period, will be very telling for the future of the console.

Despite this, it is not the right time to buy a 3DS. The slide pad’s functions are certain to be integrated in the inevitable "3DS SP", or whatever they are going to call it. It would be wiser to wait for this iteration of the console, rather than spending money on one now and being forced into buying a clumsy slide pad to play the games that you bought the console to play.

Standing in the shadows

Tom Hasler finds that Shadowgun is nothing more than shallow fun shadowgun Madfinger Games iOS, Android £8



hile fantastic games like W Angry Birds are abundant on smartphones, these devices have

not lent themselves very strongly to the traditional core games that you might find on a modern console or PC. Madfinger seek to fill this gap with Shadowgun, a game that closely resembles a modern console based shooter.

At its heart, Shadowgun does very little to differentiate itself from its contemporaries. Players progress through the environment, run behind cover when enemies appear and shoot them dead before moving on. The game’s touchscreen controls, while one of its more admirable facets, still lack the reliability and precision of actual buttons. As a consequence, Shadowgun attempts to compensate by simplifying the experience, removing some of the genre staples such as grenades and melee attacks, as well as making the enemies slightly dumber and less aggressive to avoid

overwhelming the player. As a result, the game can often feel monotonous and opportunities for creativity are limited. Ironically, the game becomes less pleasant when it attempts to add additional elements – the strain often exposes the flawed controls and can lead to frustration. On a positive note, the game is given some (much needed) variety by the inclusion of set-piece bosses, as well as a handful of different weapons.

“

Shadowgun does very little to differentiate itself from its contemporaries."

The game’s setting is highly derivative of other games; a distopic future controlled by shady corporations, you play a space mercenary who must stop a mad scientist from creating an evil army of super soldiers. Much of the story is conveyed in conversations between your character and his robot side-kick. The voice work is competently done, but the odd-couple exchanges between the two can at times be unbearably mundane. The game’s visuals are also uninspiring,

FAMILIAR: Does this look a lot like another game to you? drawing on a generic sci-fi aesthetic.

On a technical level, however, the game looks excellent (although still not as good as 2010’s Infinity Blade).

Still, you would be hard pressed to find a better looking shooter on either iOS or Android devices.

Given the game’s simple and derivative nature, there isn’t much to justify Shadowgun's £8 price tag, especially considering the volume of cheaper titles available. The game is a

case study, in fact, of how not to do a smartphone game, watering down an existing genre rather than adapting to the platform’s strengths. Although more casual games like Angry Birds will probably continue their dominance over smartphone gaming, there is certainly a market for comprehensive gaming experiences. The key is to work with the strengths of the platform, rather than compensating for the weaknesses.

madfinger

Over the past couple of years, publishers like EA and THQ have been cracking down on used games sales by introducing new digitally enforced limitations on what gamers can and can’t access, rewarding those who buy new, and punishing those who buy used. Publishers justify this by citing the expense required to make AAA games in today’s competitive market and the injustice that someone can attain a fully functional copy of a game without contributing to its development. Both of these arguments are flawed and the current war on used games is both bad for the industry and incredibly irritating.

When I purchased my new copy of Dead Space 2, with some traded in games offsetting the price, I found that I had to enter a serial key before I was allowed to play the game’s multiplayer content. This was already upsetting, as the game was effectively making me prove that I wasn’t a "criminal" before letting me play, but the worst part was that the serial key was only valid for one use. Taking the game to a friend’s house denies you access to the restricted features you payed for. Fortunately, for those who are considering renting Dead Space 2, or buying it used, the multiplayer was pretty bad and those without an online pass aren’t missing out on an important part of the game. Right now these counter-measures only serve to demonise the industry as greedy and paranoid.

Developers and publishers are wrong to assert that used game sales have a negative impact on general sales. The reality is that video games are a luxury and the amount of money spent by consumers is unlikely to change significantly. Used games can contribute to the industry positively by giving consumers flexibility on how they spend their cash. Individuals who trade-in their old games can, and almost always do, spend their returns on new games. Meanwhile, anyone who is unsure about spending £40 on a game has the option to wait for someone to trade it in; if they like the game they will be likely to trust the brand enough to buy new copies of future instalments.

Developers may find it unjust that someone who didn’t pay them directly is enjoying a game that they spent years making, but it is always worth considering that a portion of their revenue was probably funded by trade-ins of other developers' games. Maybe if publishers started treating the gaming community with respect, especially with regards to their consumer freedom, then they would be rewarded with more loyal fans. Surely that is better for business than Orwellian copyright enforcement.

have thought that the revolutionary handheld console was made of gold dust. It comes as a surprise then that, six months after release, the 3DS has not been doing well. The handheld has been doing so badly, in fact, that in August Nintendo cut the price by a third. So what has been going wrong? Why is the console that IGN called "impressively sharp and clean" selling nowhere near Nintendo’s targets?

Firstly and most obviously of all, the 3DS is harmed by its current, frankly weak, line-up. The top seller is Nintendogs, the mega-cute dog simulator, which has shifted 1.7 million copies. The remake of Ocarina of Time and Super Street Fighter IV 3D are the next best sellers. I can only assume that the recently released remake of Star Fox 64 will soon be joining these ranks. These nintendo

ggl

he way people were talking about T the Nintendo 3DS when it was announced at E3 last year, you would

B)HOORZVKLSB(GLQEXUJKB$GB B [ LQGG

For further information ask at your careers service or contact: Harriet Miller, WPP T: +44 (0)20 7408 2204 E-mail: hmiller@wpp.com

Their specialist skills include Advertising; Media Investment Management; Consumer Insight; Public Relations & Public Affairs; Branding & Identity;

WPP is the world leader in communications services.

Major brands include JWT, Ogilvy & Mather, Y&R, Grey, United, GroupM, Maxus, Mindshare, MEC, MediaCom, Millward Brown, TNS, Kantar, OgilvyOne Worldwide, Wunderman, OgilvyAction, Hill & Knowlton, Ogilvy Public Relations Worldwide, Burson-Marsteller, Cohn & Wolfe, Ogilvy CommonHealth Worldwide, Sudler & Hennessey, ghg, Landor, Fitch, The Brand Union and G2 among others.

To find out more, come and meet us on: Monday 17 October, 6pm The Scotsman Hotel 20 North Bridge Edinburgh, EH1 1YT

We are looking for people who are intellectually curious and motivated by the prospect of delivering high-quality communications services to their clients. Those selected will work in a number of WPP companies and across different marketing disciplines. Excellent long-term career prospects within a WPP company.

Healthcare Communications; Direct, Digital, Promotion & Relationship Marketing; and Specialist Communications. They are all in business to contribute to the success of their clients. And they do so through a demanding combination of flair and slog; intuition and logic; left brain and right brain.

Ambidextrous brains required

Marketing Fellowships 2012

rEVIEW COMMISSION #4: rebecca fraser

Rebecca Fraser is a final year MA Fine Art student whose recent work stems from her love of books, reading and libraries. Fraser finds the architecture, atmosphere and the psychology of the library space fascinating. Exploring the motivations behind book collecting has allowed her to create a body of work which is intrinsically personal yet engages with the universal motif of the library.

Fraser began by cataloguing and documenting her own library and relationship with books, which led to a series of drawings, prints and artists' books which deal with the history of book collecting and subsequently the treatment and demise of particular libraries. This ghost-like etching is a memorial to all the destroyed books which have been the victims of book burning throughout history. For this series of work Fraser has chosen to work with materials as sympathetic as possible to the subject matter, such as bookmaking, works on paper, and found objects from library sites.

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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20 Culture

Traversing backstage

Lewis J.W. Hurst takes a look behind the closed doors of the Traverse Theatre and is amazed by the wonders within

I

t’s 24 September, Edinburgh Doors Open Day, and we are welcomed into the heart of Scotland’s “new writing theatre”. Winding through the compact, labyrinthine space below, we learn of near-fatal first nights, why the Green Room is green, and meet a giant baby-eating puppet. We also find out that, despite the slickness of the modern theatre, the Traverse is exactly what it says it is, and more.

“

abba: a freshers' play Bedlam Theatre Run Ended

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f ever we were able to watch Peter Quince and his motley crew perform on stage, I think it would have looked a little bit like one of the Edinburgh Freshers’ plays.

Jovial to the extreme, the collection of eight short skits, all based

THE WRITING ON YOUR WALL Edinburgh Printmakers Until 29 October

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athering an impressive 47 works and some big names together in the Printmakers, The Writing on Your Wall is visually bold and politically relevant.

“

These posters serve as a fitting reminder that News Corporation's recent behaviour is just the latest in a lifetime of conglomerate bullying."

This is a timely bit of curating by Rob Tufnell: the second room of the exhibition focuses on anti-Murdoch propaganda from the 1980s. With their striking trichromatic images, these posters serve as a fitting reminder that News Corporation’s recent behaviour is just the latest in a lifetime of conglomerate bullying – making The

WHICH WILL YOU PICK?: Guess what's behind door number one... ground.

The Traverse’s current incarnation is a youthful 19 year old. When it began life in a former brothel in the

Lawnmarket in 1963, the theatre was officially a “private members’ club”, dodging Britain’s then-strict censorship laws. Our guide tells us the Tra-

verse received a huge boost in publicity in its early months when an actress was stabbed on stage – supposedly as a result of an accidental prop substitu-

loosely on the titles of ABBA songs, takes the audience on a journey through the Death Star, a sewer, a nunnery, and a conclave of some weird hybrid foster family. If you’re here for high art, you can, as the presenter puts it “kindly eff off ”.

En masse, the actors and actresses extended the general atmosphere of geniality, but there is no doubt that this was the perfect showcase for some promising talent, and a collection of performances stood out from the medley of fresh-faced first years.

Notably, the production teams were also first years, and the quality of direction is testament to their budding abilities.

Lighting, scenery, and movement were consistently excellent, especially since the actors not always were. Speaking to some of the cast and crew afterwards, I learned that an offer for the script had been made from a group of German school children, and although I don’t think this necessarily mirrors the quality of the plots, it is great praise of the improvisational talent.

As the night progressed, the actors’ slurring worsened, the stage curtains were no longer drawn, and

Writing on Your Wall’s celebration of the free press even more meaningful and commendable.

Radical printmaking is nothing new, of course, and the exhibition rather pleasingly opens with James Gillray’s 1805 print The Handwriting Upon the Wall.

Gillray was a hugely prolific printmaker in the early nineteenth century and while he may not have been politically radical himself, the content of his work was certainly deliberately designed to rile mainstream thinkers.

Provocation continues into the main room of the exhibition with Art & Language’s journal covers. In black and white, their chunky, compelling typography is reminiscent of the early twentieth-century DADA magazine.

Like their imagery, their political agenda is far from oblique: one cover reads “When management speaks, nobody learns.” This socialist tone is further reinforced by Joanne Tatham and Tom O’Sullivan’s I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so sorry! (An indirect exchange of uncertain value) and its cartoonish, Marx-referencing parrot.

In the second room, a collection of booklets includes Daniel De Leon’s Socialism versus Anarchism: An Address and a 1912 publication by the Fabian Society, William Morris and the Communist Ideal.

“

The actors and actresses extended the general atmosphere of geniality...this was the perfect showcase for some promising talent."

any attempt at political correctness was cast, as were many of the sets, ferociously, from the stage. If you venerate theatre in any way, this is probably not the production for you.

But in viewing the Freshers’ plays for what they are - light-hearted, goodnatured fun - it was a thoroughly entertaining evening.

Alexandra Gushurst-Moore

With its intellectually inflammatory content, this is all perfect fodder for a museum collection. Lucky, then, that the window into the printmakers’ studio below reminds us that this is art – political art, yes, but its position in a gallery forces us to acknowledge its visual impact.

“

With its intellectually inflammatory content, this is all perfect fodder for a museum collection."

And what an impact this is. The works in this exhibition are completely arresting. From the typically popping colours in Alasdair Gray’s four pieces of work, to Ruth Ewan’s block typed screenprints - produced with pupils from a local school - and back to the tricolour posters and badges, the eye, as well as the mind, is constantly challenged (albeit most pleasantly). To free-thinkers, word-lovers, radicals and aesthetes, I say – go.

Anna Feintuck

THE SWORD : Art & Language 10

COURTESY Edinburgh PRINTMAKERs

In the atrium, only the box office hints that we are in a theatre. The coloured marble, glass and steel would look more at home in Glasgow. It feels as though we are waiting to see a solicitor, rather than the inner recesses of one of Scotland’s top theatres. But now we move, like any first-night audience, into the Traverse Bar, one level below

anyjazz65

The Traverse received a huge boost in publicity in its early months when an actress was stabbed on stage - supposedly as a result of an accidental prop substitution."

tion. Luckily both the actress and the Traverse survived, the theatre moving to its current location in 1992.

Coiling three floors below ground, the Traverse surprises us as we wander through. From the tight-but-cosy Green Room (either named for the green dresses of prostitutes or the “greenness” of young actors – take your pick) to the wardrobe filled with Victorian evening-wear for an upcoming show, good use of space is clearly paramount.

Then we stumble into the comparatively massive production-floor – more like a warehouse than a theatre. Behind that large sliding door lives the babyeating puppet from last year’s Christmas show - “too good to throw away”, as our guide says. In Traverse 2 we see intricate scale-models of past sets and are introduced to a very lifelike propbaby, as a glass of stage blood sparkles in the light.

In Traverse 1 and 2, all members of the audience get the best possible view of the stage. Even the dressing-rooms are ordered by colour, not number, to prevent any jealousy. This rare backstage tour proves that the Traverse is as exciting, interesting and as egalitarian inside as it is out.

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Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21 21 Star Rating First step on the moon Flying on Concord Wright Brother's flight Remote control airplane Jumping in the air

To infinity and beyond

ROYGBIV This week's cultural spectrum.

Varvara Bashkirova enjoys the astronautical photography at the Scotland-Russia Forum

Fergusson's women The Scottish Gallery Run Ended

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felt like I had wandered into someone’s personal studio, rather than an art gallery. The majority of Fergusson’s Women are surprisingly small conté drawings that look more like initial sketches, rather than the finished product.

Fergusson’s Women is a collection of art by John Duncan Fergusson, one of Scotland’s greatest artists. The influences of Impressionism and Fauvism are very evident in the incomplete, sketchy style of his drawings and his

REACH FOR THE STARS: Poyekhali! at the Scotland-Russia very well known, having become truly iconic in the history of astronautics.

Many, however, have never been

exhibited for the public before, including some private photos from the Gagarins’ family albums. These photos

colourful oil paintings.

As the art progresses through the first twenty years of the twentieth century, it transforms. His drawings depict markedly more detailed faces, with much bolder, darker lines. This stamps the drawings with far more personality.

Yet I much preferred the wispier, hazier drawings, which reminded me of unfinished sketches. A few of these drawings use the bare minimum of lines to hint at the female form. The way that your eye finishes the process and creates the human body out of the vague shapes is what makes his art so interesting.

You need to get up close to examine the detailed little conté drawings but you are forced to step back to view the bigger oil paintings which stand out

vividly in the room of black and white sketches. They are full of extremely rich, vibrant colours, depicting exotic patterns, influences from Fergusson’s time spent travelling abroad in Spain and Morocco.

The Red Shawl is a portrait of Mrs Elizabeth Dryden and pushes the focus of the painting onto the shawl which is a single block colour that consumes most of the full-length painting. As you focus on the shawl, the background fades away.

Fergusson creates an out-of-focus impression that you only normally experience when you are not directly looking at something. It sometimes helps to not look directly or too closely at his art. The huge squiggly shapes in the background only really transform

Last week an art historian at Oxford University, Martin Kemp, found the proof he needed to claim a portrait ripped from the pages of a book was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. Speaking to The Guardian, Kemp discussed how the vellum thickness, stitching distance and other complicated technical factors presented irrefutable evidence to arty sceptics.

The find comes in light of the news this July that another of Leonardo’s lost works, the Salvator Mundi, has been found and will be exhibited by the National Gallery in London this November alongside some of his more carefully conserved works.

The resurfacing of lost artwork is an issue that probably makes most people a little uneasy. What if this is the artist’s biggest flop that happened to get lost, leaving only the masterpieces behind? What if its being found is only a way of embarrassingly exposing my ineptitude for art appreciation?

Especially with Leonardo, where the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper are ingrained in the public imagination, these new finds are unsettling.

Our culture is so saturated with his legacy that nobody would dare doubt the value of his masterpieces; people may be incredulous at the tiny size of the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, but they never follow that up with “and he couldn’t even paint!” Very well painted, of course, but it’s a very modest depiction of a woman in profile. In a collection of Leonardo’s works, you’d walk past it after a few seconds.

My issue is that Kemp’s find isn’t one to get too excited over. ���� The Salvator Mundi is obviously a bigger deal: an image of Christ holding a glass globe, beautifully painted down to the last detail in the very precise style we recognise from his other paintings. But when I saw Jesus’ face in the painting I laughed out loud - his hazy eyes look out at the viewer confused, as though he’s had a few too many glasses of the Blood of Christ. I can’t take the great master completely seriously after seeing this painting.

The problem with rediscovered works: they change the oeuvre completely. The reactions from the art world prove a fascination beyond the man as an artist, however, and as more of the man as a cultural icon. I can’t help thinking we’ve been reading too much Dan Brown.

are particularly significant, as they really bring the character of Gagarin to life.

In 1961, he became a national hero – but such status had its cost. His name became a symbol: of the space race and the Cold War when used by politicians; of the technological advance of humanity and the USSR among scientists; of human courage in general in philosophical debates.

The exhibition, on the other hand, showed me a very ordinary, admirable person. While I was looking at him playing with his daughters, exercising with dumbbells and talking to his wife, the image of a virtuous hero became that of an ordinary man, who gained his status by simply doing his job.

Overall, my visit turned out to be very inspirational. We need to remember and honour people like him to keep moving on and progressing.

After all, Gagarin is not only a part of Russian history, but of the history of mankind, and of our constant aspiration to break through new frontiers.

russian news and information agency ria novosti

C

ommemorating the 50th anniversary of Yuri Gagarin’s flight into space, the Scotland-Russia Forum is hosting a photographic exhibition dedicated to the Russian hero.

Having been previously displayed in London, it consists of rare photos from the archives of RIA Novosty, the Russian news company. The exhibition also includes an hour long film about Gagarin’s voyage, shown daily at 1:00 pm.

The photos are arranged chronologically, each with a brief description and date, so that the photos tell the life story of the great man. Starting in the remote Russian countryside and culminating in his 1961 launch, which was followed by his enormous popularity, it ends with his death just seven years later. Gagarin’s visit to the UK is also documented, showing an overwhelming amount of people meeting him at the airport. Forget The Beatles - he was a real star.

The manager of SRF, Jenny Carr, pointed out that one of the big advantages of the exhibition was the variety of photos on display. Some of them are

The Lost Leonardos

into flowers when you focus on the shawl in the foreground and allow the background to blur.

The art carries a strong impression

“

You might easily be standing behind the shoulder of the artist as he sketches a stranger passing by." of the moment when the artist was working. You might easily be standing behind the shoulder of the artist as he sketches a stranger passing by.

Victoria Tripp

THE ART DOCTOR with Anna Feintuck This week: a violently muddled schedule

Help! I’ve joined too many student societies. Every night of the week I’m busy picking up a new hobby, new friends, but never my coursework.

More than just my diary is getting muddled: I found myself bringing my knitting needles to kickboxing and accidentally punching a girl when she asked for the yarn at Knit Soc. How do I continue to gain mad skills without having my life unravel?

T

hank goodness you haven't taken up javelin... Although, having said that, knitting needles and kickboxing sound like a dangerous enough combination.

I think, though, that the real issue here is organisation - or lack thereof - rather than danger. Never underestimate the power of a good diary. If you know where you have to be and when, the likelihood is that you'll bring the

correct equipment and, correspondingly, the right mindset.

On a purely aesthetic level, I'd recommend Moleskine diaries, beloved of arty types – their simple design makes complicated schedules much less frightening. Record all your events, and use the blank page on the right for important notes (things like "TUESDAY - KNITTING - NO PUNCHING" or "MONDAY - VIOLENCE OKAY" - assuming of course that Tuesday is knitting and Monday is kickboxing.

The days are interchangeable here, but not - I repeat, not - in real life).

For inspiration, consider famous artistic diary keepers: Andy Warhol, Everett Ruess, and Canadian artist Emily Carr to name but a few.

Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.

Michael Mackenzie

Look oot for...

Wayne McGregor's Randon Dance: Far will be showing at the King's Theatre on 4 and 5 October.

oliver ninnis

Dear Art Doctor,

David Mach, Turner Prize nominee, is exhibiting Precious Light at the City Art Centre until 16 October - a provocative and politically relevant look at religion in today's culture.

gra

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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22 Film

Taking action beyond art

Meg Pruce looks at one of Scotland's most proactive film festivals and explores socio-political and global issues in cinema

“ take one action

It should create a lasting impression that leaves you feeling motivated to respond, challenge and pursue the issue protrayed on screen."

SIMON BATESON:"We want to tell stories which are on a larger level."

W

hen you think back to your last trip to the cinema, your film choice was probably influenced by a combination of well-known faces, intriguing plot, a famous director, or whatever was on at the time. The experience itself is a haze of box office queues and overpriced popcorn.

Your attention was diverted for a few pleasurable hours before reality swiftly returned and you merrily went about the rest of your evening, content to have laughed, cried or

been merely distracted by the film you just watched. Because that’s what cinema’s for, isn’t it?

Of course it is – up to a point. For an increasingly large sector of the arts industry, however, film should involve a whole lot more. Audiences should be entertained, yes, but film is capable of providing a much more significant form of diversion. The experience ought not to end once you’ve left the cinema; it should create a lasting impression that leaves

you feeling motivated to respond, challenge, and pursue the issues portrayed on screen.

Active involvement was the key driving force behind the recent Take One Action Film Festival, which took place in the cinemas, theatres, and, wonderfully, botanical gardens of Edinburgh and Glasgow until its finale last Sunday. The festival programme comprised of fiction and documentary feature films, which were all either UK or Scottish premieres, or previews of

The debt

what are the repercussions of this subterfuge thirty years later? The enigma of the secret agents’ ordeal makes for tense viewing. It’s an engaging, enthralling exploration of the difficulties and perils of decision-making in periods of struggle.

Particularly gripping is the trio’s decision to re-hunt for the Nazi war criminal when news is revealed that a journalist is aware of the surgeon and his current whereabouts. The baldheaded, conspicuous reporter wants to interview the doctor and inevitably publish the reasons for his continued existence.

So begins Rachel’s high-pressure expedition: to finally kill off the evil Nazi, to abolish her guilt for having lied to the public for decades and to ensure that her daughter (now a young adult) remains blissfully convinced by the supposed reality of Rachel’s heroism in the 1960s. In the related sequences, Helen Mirren truly shines as the Jewish executor, proving to be both a convincing, innocent mother, and taciturn secret agent. Her tumultuous life is fraught with the need to be moral, yet keep the truth hidden, most often for the same reasons.

If you can cope with the film’s burgeoning running time, you are in for a treat.

Joe Smith

red state

Directed by John madden 

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he Debt, directed by John Madden, and starring Helen Mirren, Ciarán Hinds and Tom Wilkinson as Rachel, David and Stephan respectively, charts the tale of three Israeli secret agents. Back in 1965, they were assigned the job of finding the malicious Nazi war criminal known as the Surgeon of Birkenau in order to send him to Israel to face trial. This latter mission failed; however, by 1997 the trio were celebrity figures for their alleged assassination of the surgeon. It was claimed that Rachel successfully shot and killed the Nazi war criminal in his attempt to escape the clutches of the Jewish secret agents. But is this true?

“

Through a series of flashbacks, it becomes obvious that the best, most effective way to keep the Israelis happy was to create the ultimate lie" Through a serious of flashbacks, it becomes obvious that the best, most effective way to have kept the Israelis happy was to create the ultimate lie: a false declaration of assassination. But

All films were reviewed at Cineworld

Directed by Kevin Smith 

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h, that Kevin Smith. Through life, he’s been a moderately successful filmmaker, the poster child for the perpetually adolescent adult male, and Silent Bob. Last January, he made a scene at the Sundance Film Festival as he auctioned distribution rights to his newest, Red State, to himself - for $20.

Put simply, he’s sick of making films on a budget, only to have them advertised as if money is no object. So now he’s self-distributing what could best be described as Jesus Camp meets the torture-porn genre dominated by Saw and Hostel. Fortunately for all involved,

This type of film is just what Take One Action are looking for, according to artistic director Simon Bateson. “We want to tell stories which are on a larger level,” he says, “not just those of individuals, but where the causes and effects are global.” Some films on the programme inevitably concentrate on specific situations, such as Icíar Bollaín’s drama Even the Rain with its focus on the Bolivian national water crisis. Yet, as Bateson explains, their relevance stretches further than just one set of events.

Using Even the Rain as an example, he highlights how the effects of water privatisation in Bolivia are echoed worldwide: “pressure from world “It’s gonna get grown up in here.”

We find ourselves in God-fearing middle America, where boys will be boys, and a Christian extremist group protests the perceived evils of humanity at every opportunity. Vulgar comedy and quaintness ensue until three wayward characters are kidnapped and used as the lenses with which to show the terrifying zealotry that comes from unquestioned belief. There are few things so unsettling as antagonists that have no doubts about their own righteousness. Michael Parks (Kill Bill, From Dusk Till Dawn) masterfully illustrates this as Abin Cooper, spiritual leader and father figure to the fictional equivalent of the Westboro Bapist Church. That church is worth looking up, for they are stranger than all but Kevin Smith’s fiction.

banks is a cause of poverty in many other countries, which gives this film a global weight.”

Even the Rain is one of the festival’s few drama features, in a programme dominated by documentaries. This wasn’t a deliberate bias on the organisers’ part; rather, it reflects a general trend in socially aware film-making.

Documentaries are typically cheaper to produce and, as Bateson notes, there is a “stronger tradition for documentary making to reflect current issues,” often simply because they can be created more quickly.

Audience demand is also a key factor in the film industry and as a high profile event like the Academy Awards shows, documentaries are often categorised separately from Best Film lists. The 2011 Best Documentary winner, Inside Job, drew attention by analysing the recent financial meltdown and achieved breakout status into the mainstream. The global, political, and economic impact of the crisis ensured that Western audiences took notice. Generally, however, socially and politically orientated film is relegated to a niche market for those cinema-goers who care to explore off the beaten track.

Festivals like Take One Action are helping to change this situation. By encouraging audiences not only to view the films but to get involved in events and debates related to the issues portrayed, cinema demonstrates its capacity as a dynamic and socially significant activity. The message is clear: don’t sit back and relax.

For more information, see www.takeoneaction.org.uk While Red State doesn’t exceed modern highlights in gore and violence, the sheer I-can’t-believe-thatjust-happened factor that accompanies most of its traumatic moments earns the film superlatives. A comparison of the evils in unaccountable government and excessive zeal leaves a taste akin to Michael Moore on the palette, but the film manages to avoid preachiness except in the intentional, crazy sense.

By the time the credits roll, it’s hard to decide who you’re rooting for, what has been accomplished or whether you preferred the short-lived presence of Kevin Pollak (The Usual Suspects, Casino) to everything else in Red State; that’s a compliment. Whatever the outcome, “you better believe I fear God” after this flick.

Zack O'Leary

THAT'S A WRAP: Covering each other in clingfilm quickly became a terrible idea

spaceship broken

hits from well-established festivals such as Sundance and Cannes. Choosing such up-to-the-minute work reminds audiences that film can provide fresh, topical insights into issues which are affecting the global community this very moment. Enjoy Your Meal, for example, is a documentary providing insight into the social and environmental impact of the international food market, which considers the real costs of your groceries beyond what you ' fork out at Tesco.

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Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Film 23 21

Directed by Gary McKendry 

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et in 1980, Killer Elite tells us the story of Danny ( Jason Statham), a former Special Air Service assassin who is forced out of retirement in order to prevent the death of his former SAS assassin mentor (Robert De Niro). A Sikh man who has lost three of his sons to yet more SAS assassins blackmails Statham into killing them as an act of vengeance.

“

What ensues is a series of action scenes that propel the film more than the plot, and which comes across as mediocre and often overly complicated."

If that wasn’t enough, he also has to fight off a fittingly 1980s mustachioed Clive Owen who is, that’s right, a former SAS assassin, nostalgic about old times and who can’t seem to resist the need to investigate Statham’s assassinating antics. Owen is also backed by a suitably stereotypically British secret society known as the Feathermen; the title of the non-fiction book the film is based on.

What ensues is a series of action scenes that propel the film more than the plot, and which come across as mediocre and often overly complicated.

Additionally, the story has extra dimensions added to it that make the film lull towards the end. The action scenes are definitely the strongest moments, but are unfortunately sporadically broken up by unconvincing flashbacks of Statham’s love interest.

The action and fighting themselves, however, are possibly redeeming factors for the film. The sharp editing and camerawork give intensity to the handto-hand combat scenes, which are well timed and precisely choreographed.

There is a fair amount of inventiveness in these scenes, culminating in Statham performing an unfathomable front flip onto Owen whilst tied to a chair. Arguably this feat sets the tone for the film as a whole. As with most action films in this vein, the effort is put into these scenes as opposed to the dialogue, a fact that is clearly evident in this film. Average banter seems to hinder Owen yet enhance Statham’s always menacing steeliness. Though not fantastic, Statham’s acting has a certain thuggish charm which is often entertaining to watch.

Ultimately this is a Stath-fest of shouting, shooting and shanking that packs in enough hard man one liners and acrobatic feats of violence to just about satisfy the audience until the end.

Daniel Scott Lintott

abduction Directed by John singleton

 aylor Lautner’s abduction took T place in 2008. A guerilla gang of producers, tween girls and Stephanie

Meyer forced the then 16-year-old ostensible non-actor into a prison labelled “Hollywood heart-throb” after he’d naively agreed to an initially minor role in Twilight.

Abduction does not resolve the case. Rather it reveals tragic signs of Lautner’s passive-aggressive resistance. The teen has apparently made a Dorian Gray-ish pact wherein an image of him upon some lost slice of celluloid expresses all his emotions while he remains perfectly, eerily impassive.

His blank lead in this thriller gives it the feel of a first-person shooter videogame, except it’s alienating rather than involving.

“Sometimes I feel like a freak. I walk around like everyone else, but inside I feel different,” Lautner’s high-school drone Nathan informs his psychiatrist, played by Sigourney Weaver. Has he realised he’s an avatar? No, he just suspects he’s been adopted, possibly because his parents, played furtively by Jason Isaacs and Maria Bello, can actually emote.

Confusing him further is the fact that everyone around him seems to act without motives: randomly attacking him, chasing him and regarding him

filmofilia

killer elite

EMBARASSING: Taylor takes Hide and Seek way too seriously as being in any way interesting. At one point Weaver appears miraculously in the hospital Nathan has just entered from behind a bouquet of balloons, then declaring, “I hate balloons.” Why would anyone hate balloons? We’re never told and the explanations that do come are patronising. Nathan is pursued due to his possession, saved in a text message no less, of some obscurely significant list of names; "Like a list of Facebook friends, kids!" director John Singleton seems to intone. At one point, even,

the vaguely Eastern European baddie informs Nathan, “I’m going to kill every one of your Facebook friends.”

When Nathan finally kisses his dreary cheerleader squeeze, she promptly gets the shit kicked out of her; clearly this film is only pandering to the Twi-hards.

Still, the unsubtly frequent close-ups of Lautner’s dead eyes spell no seduction, only "H-E-L-P!" It’s too late Taylor, your game’s over.

Catherine Sylvain

Rediscovering the past Jack Kinross takes a look at a bold new documentary tracing the history of film he film industry would have us T believe that money drives movies,” Mark Cousins’ crooning voice-over muses as we slip through the opening montages of his documentary epic. His tone is candid, subversive and hints at a mischievous chuckle. For a cinephile such as himself, film isn’t money – film is a language, a language of ideas and imagination. As the body of commercial cinema begins to look increasingly narrow-minded, we have been granted a golden opportunity to widen the lens and look at cinematic history, past to present, in its full depth.

that a channel such as More4 had the patience to fund Cousins’ epic. They initially allowed him twelve prime time hour-long episodes, reportedly consenting to fifteen after much protest.

But as The Story of Film gathers pace, it’s clear that such a rich, complex and truly global history deserves the time dedicated to it. Only in 15 hours of footage is it possible to experience

the innovation and creation of film over 12 decades. You may have heard of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, but have you heard of Minoru Murata and his seminal 1920 film Souls on the Road? Or perhaps the female pioneers of early silent cinema, such as Alice Guy Blaché; horribly overlooked in a hugely male dominated profession.

It’s not fame Cousins goes looking for,

however, but innovation. The narrative speeds on the wheels of human ingenuity; visiting diverse locations from Senegal to Palestine and meeting filmmakers both famous and neglected.

With over 1000 clips at his disposal, there really is no end to the story.

Artistic snobbery is a phrase surely familiar in Cousins’ world, but there is no whiff of pretension in this project;

“

As The Story of Film gathers pace, it is clear that such a rich, complex and truly global history deserves the time dedicated to it"

“

The ambitious scope of such a project seems out of place for the Youtube generation.

Indeed, it is remarkable that a channel such as More4 had the patience to fund Cousins' epic."

In the age of digital recording and movie making becoming increasingly accessible to all, it’s about time we were granted a comprehensive history that is worthy in both scale and diversity. It is unclear whether this heralds a revolution in film historiography, but it is hard not to be inspired and alerted to the unseen wealth of brilliant film-making both past and present. Anything that manages to puncture the languid balloon of Hollywood publicity and offers us an accessible taste of something else is worth trying. If anything, you’ll be the envy of the pub quiz after a single viewing of The Story of Film..., the film round being a walk in the park after this journey.

NOSTALGIA: Back in the day The Gay Times was breaking boundaries with the ingenuity of its content

filmreference

Unrestricted by the bias of Hollywood or the elitism of the critic, Northern Irish filmmaker and writer Cousins has created The Story of Film: An Odyssey, a hugely ambitious and kaleidoscopic recounting of the story of cinema. It spans from the Lumiere brothers' first grainy shots right up to the present era of digital 3D, computer graphics, and big blue motion captured smurfs.

The ambitious scope of such a project seems out of place for the Youtube generation. Indeed, it is remarkable

plenty of mainstream Hollywood culture is also prevalent. Of course, claims that Casablanca is not actually a classic may cause a sour face or two, but Cousins’ message seems more meditative than confrontational. Such film-making puts important emphasis on the individuality of taste and opinion in a world where mass media creates and shapes art.

The Story of Film: An Odyssey is on More4 every Saturday at 9:15pm.

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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24 Film

Classic Cult

Melancholia Directed by lars von trier  elancholia is about collisions, M whether they are familial, mental or literal. Justine (Kirsten Dunst) plays a bride so paralysed by depression on her wedding day that her marriage is ruined before the cake is even cut.

Her mental illness collides with family expectations that insist she keep on this farce of white lace to prove their wealth and reputation. The first half of the film effectively sets up what Justine

la piscine Directed by jacques deray  rench director Jacques Deray’s F 1969 psychodrama La Piscine is a film saturated by sunlight and

sexual tension. Re-released for modern audiences, the film has been digitally restored, offering movie-goers the chance to see the film that brought Deray international recognition and critical attention on the big screen all over again.

“

Being French and based in the 1960s, La Piscine is almost effortlessly cool."

The film centres on a holidaying couple, played by Alain Delon and Romy Schneider, whose blissful holiday peace is threatened by the arrival of an old friend and former flame (Maurice Ronet), with his 18-year-old daughter.

So begins a complicated exchange of jealousies and sexual desires that eventually lead to disaster.

Being French and based in the 1960s, La Piscine is almost effortlessly cool. The characters are impossibly good-looking and tragic, and seem to spend most of their time exchanging long, meaning-

has to lose by the second half, when a rival planet, Melancholia, is supposed to collide with Earth. However, the only one who seems to care about this is Justine’s sister, Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg), who battles with her sister’s misanthropy and her husband’s (an intense Kiefer Sutherland) dogmatic reliance on science to save the day in the face of oblivion.

Director Lars von Trier is well aware of the absurdity of this plot.

Consequently, Melancholia is a film that is conscious of its artfulness. With moribundly beautiful visuals, Trier creates a series of still images which the camera ominously pans through while ful glances and mournfully smoking cigarettes. The tension between the characters is palpable, and the performances are hard to criticise. Delon and Schneider are particularly noticeable, with a sizzling on-screen chemistry that adds an erotically charged frisson to almost every scene.

However, the film itself is undeniably flawed. The plot is slow-moving and seems to lose momentum and direction as events come to a head and then drift to a slow close. The direction, while innovative and interesting, is occasionally jerky and irritating. Even the characters become hard to sympathise or connect with – but then maybe that is the point, their alienation from each other eventually rubbing off on the audience. Unfortunately, there is only so much existential cigarette-smoking you can take, cool and stylish though it undeniably looks (despite what you were told in school) before you start to lose interest.

On saying this, the film has many things to commend it, not least the competent performances and occasionally arresting images. The action largely takes place around a swimming pool, which is a clever device, contrasting the initial domesticity of the location with the lurking dangers that it gradually presents. While the film may be lingering and clunky, the undeniable style of La Piscine shines through to make the film an interesting, if not always engaging watch.

Wagner’s hulking Tristan and Isolde plays over in the prologue of the film.

Despite its artifice, the film portrays mental illness in such a caustically real way that we can feel depression and anxiety enveloping us just as Melancholia does Earth.

Dunst is a revelation, a dark prophet in these end times. Justine's cynical foreboding knowledge puts her family and the viewer effectively on edge, as she states bluntly, “Nobody will miss it.

Life on Earth is evil.” Yet it is Dunst’s vacant eyes that communicate more than most actors could in a monologue.

However, while Dunst’s detached Justine horrifies us, it’s Gainsbourg’s

what's your number?

Directed by mark mylod  hat’s Your Number? is the latest W in a string of romcoms to hit our screens this Autumn, which proudly

proclaim to be part of a sexier, edgier breed of the genre. These films believe that audiences in 2011 are bored of weepy chick flicks and want something more unconventional. Some of these movies failed in their quest to be raunchy (No Strings Attached) and some succeeded (Bridesmaids). What’s Your Number? falls somewhere in between.

The film tells the story of quirky, city girl Ally (Anna Faris), who reads a magazine article which informs her that women who have slept with more than 20 guys are unlikely ever to find true love. Panic-stricken, Ally (who starts the film at lover number 19) decides to track down her former lovers in the hope that one of them could actually be The One. She is aided in her quest by her oft-unclothed womanising neighbour Colin (Chris Evans), whom Ally soon realises is perhaps not quite as shallow as she first thought.

It doesn’t take a genius to work out where the film is going and this is one of the flaws of it. It starts off well, but becomes increasingly clichéd as an interesting premise is wedged into the mould of your typically banal romcom.

IMDB

BRRRR!: When Lars asked Kirsten to recreate John Everett Millais' Ophelia, she wasn't counting on the water being so chilly Claire that we can recognise ourselves in. Claire’s extremely anxious selfpreservation balances out Justine’s depressed nihilism. Claire ultimately connects us to the tragedy for humanity that the total annihilation of Earth is. Both women act as opposing forces and bring us the closest to resolution that such a film can give.

This film is genuinely stunning.

Whether you leave the theatre psychologically drained or physically shaking is up to you, but either way, it is one of the most emotionally affecting films around this season.

Tess Malone

Another problem is that in its desperation to be racy, the film rather overdoes it on the crude comedy and after the 30th penis size joke, instead of being raucous, the humour just feels tedious.

“

It starts off well but becomes increasingly clichéd as an interesting premise is wedged into the mould of your typically banal romcom."

The film, however, is not without its charms. These come mostly in the form of Faris who is a funny and likeable lead. Faris is a great physical comedian whose slapstick humour and facial expressions are often a lot funnier than the script. Several of Ally’s ex-boyfriends also put in good – albeit brief – performances, especially Martin Freeman who adds a bit of British charm.

On the whole, What’s Your Number? is an average romcom with some above average performances. It isn’t as edgy as it wants to be, but it’s certainly a lot more funny and entertaining than some might expect.

Sally Pugh

Musicals as a genre within film have been approached somewhat apprehensively in recent years and yet they formed an integral part of the formation of modern cinema.

The transition that occurred in the 1930s from the silent films, popularised by luminaries including Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, to a new form of entertainment made possible through the arrival of sound marked the beginning of the musical feature.

However, beyond the success of the early musicals that were made between the 1930s and 1960s (and a handful released each year in the following decades) it has remained a relatively unappreciated genre. Away from smash hits such as Singing in the Rain, The Sound of Music, and the animated films of Walt Disney, there have been a surprising number of cult musicals which cannot be overlooked when considering this distinct genre.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show is the ultimate cult musical. With much of its success generated from midnight screenings featuring hundreds of dedicated followers clad in transsexual attire, it has gone on to harbour some of the most bizarre instances of audience participation.

Projectiles of toast, toilet paper, water and rice alongside answering back to the screen and mass reproductions of the "Time Warp" make this not just a cult film, but a cult experience.

Numerous famous musicians have featured in cult musicals that have developed a devoted fan base often years after their initial flop. The Wiz is an urban retelling of L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz featuring an all African-American cast set in a fantasy version of New York City. With Diana Ross as Dorothy, reconfigured as a Harlem school teacher, and Michael Jackson as the Scarecrow, it illustrates a combination of soulful song and dance numbers written towards the end of the blaxploitation movement.

Few cult fans will be unaware of Labyrinth, a fantasy film directed by Jim Henson, starring David Bowie as the beleaguering Goblin King, Jareth. Its combination of puppetry, human performances and Bowie crotch shots - which have sparked pages of critical analysis - mean it remains one of the best cult musicals ever made. Rock opera Tommy, based upon the album of the same name is a musical by British band The Who. Starring Who lead singer Roger Daltrey as a deaf, dumb and blind pinball wizard, and featuring terrific cameo performances from the likes of Oliver Reed, Jack Nicholson and Tina Turner. It is a surrealist production that features one of the most innovative soundtracks of the genre.

In recent years, cult musicals have received less acclaim, generally staying predominately under the radar.

However, Lars Von Trier’s Palme d’Or winning Dancer in the Dark, starring Icelandic singer Björk has redefined the musical genre by introducing an extreme emotional aspect to what is generally frivolous escapism. It is clear from examples like this that it is anything but a dying genre.

Still retaining merit in what is often a prejudiced art form, musicals are constantly reassessing the necessary requirements for entertainment.

Ali Quaile

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Don't go anywhere without your iPod? music.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

26 Music

Down in Edinburgh

Olivia stoddart

Joshua Angrave sees a rejuvenated performance from Peter Doherty at the Liquid Room

BACK TO HIS BEST: Doherty shows why punctuality and soberness are a basis for a good performance ttempting to see Peter Doherty A live comes not without its perils, none more worrying than his lack of

appearance at shows for one illegitimate reason or another. Half the experience is geared towards taking a chance on a cancelled show, or next, a broken down set, more in keeping with a pissed up sing along down at your local. But health permitting, and reliability aside, his live shows have the potential to reward - and affirm to all - the talent that first attracted the media furore that would go on to surround him.

Rescheduling tours again and again - to the point of absurdity - to make up for missed dates and disappointed fans, Doherty has remained in a kind of gig purgatory of late, endlessly putting things right for his faithful supporters. Yet with the show moving to the Liquid Room from the HMV Picturehouse at short notice it would have been foolhardy not to take caution in expecting the worst.

A gamble purchase maybe, the set that was to follow showed its return, as Peter performed in a stripped down solo light, one man and his acoustic, bringing to life his most celebrated songs from all manifestations of his career.

Coming on stage to a jeered up

Liquid Room, bellowing out the "I Wish" Babyshambles chant, Pete ambled on, but as if merely passing on by, before taking centre stage and progressing into Libertines demo, "All At Sea", followed straight after by "Merry Go Down". Given that he had eased into the show with these it was something of a surprise that the next chord change moved quickly into "Can’t Stand Me Now", proving predictably popular with the crowd, with Doherty playing convincingly on his own, even making the harmonica parts possible with an attached neck holder.

“

Health permitting, and reliability aside, his live shows have the potential to reward, and affirm to all, the talent behind the media furore" From then on he showed no let up and strummed his way through, with no interlude, to a good ten or twelve more. Holding back the usual chit chat to let the songs do the talking, he harked back to the good old days,

setting the sails of the good ship Albion once more on, "Hooligans on E", "What Katy Did", "The Boy Looked At Jonny" and "Don’t Look Back Into The Sun".

Reviving all manner of songs from The Libertines, Babyshambles and his own solo work, there was no shortage of material used. Seeming as if he was looking to put on a memorable experience for the responsive crowd, he picked largely the most celebrated of these, including from his Babyshambles days, "Sheepskin Tearaway", "Killamangiro", and "Beg, Steal or Borrow". Even drawing from Carl Barat’s song writing, he played "I Get Along", as well as "Music When The Lights Go Out". However sticking to what the crowd wanted to hear, the only new song thrown in came at the very end of the set as a taster of what might be install for the future.

The show too was not without its charm or spontaneity, as Peter’s charisma shone through even in his more controlled approach to the start of proceedings. On "For Lovers", two practically porcelain ballerinas came onto the stage, gracefully dancing their way around Peter, before coming back on for "What Katy Did", to cool him down with geisha fans. In between songs at one point he serenaded the

crowd with a rose in his mouth, playing an impromptu fill of Spanish guitar.

Providing a real presence with his performance he held the crowd well.

On the raucous "What A Waster", he succeeded in getting everyone to repeat the song’s offensive refrain over and over again, as he sung back “two bob…” in anticipation of the response.

Mixing things up well, he kept the material from sounding out-dated, but instead reminded us of the songs' classic status, like in "Time For Heroes", where he showed his die hard dedication to QPR, changing one of the lines to: “there’s fewer more distressing sights than that of an Englishman in a Chelsea cap”.

“

The show was not without its charm and spontaneity, as Peter's charisma shone through" The show’s atmosphere was to resemble more the heights of The Libertines guerrilla gigging than the setting of a rehashed tour. By the end of the night, stage invaders had been forcibly ejected, and one crowd member who made it away had even donned a token

red military jacket for the occasion.

After returning to the stage following an impressive twenty-two songs, Peter then cemented the gig’s riotous finish with an encore that Liquid Room’s management would rather not have seen. Going well over his allotted time, Peter who was told not to return to stage, responded in the only way he could, with a timely rendition of "Fuck Forever". After which he observed, “I probably won’t get paid for this”, before throwing his acoustic and mic stand into the crowd, momentarily putting the Liquid Room into lockdown before the bouncers broke up the party and reclaimed the crowds' spoils.

Snubbed by all too many as down and out, Doherty continues to confound his critics and defy popular belief just when you least expect it. In place of his often stumbling live solo performance, typically punctuated by the help of singer song writer friends, he came into his own, playing as tight as could be hoped for.

Although The Libertines may be over, Peter stuck one up on the night, and no matter how cataclysmic moments in his life may have been, he showed once more that he he’ll always come back and surprise you.

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Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Music 27

Albums WILCo

The Whole Love dPbm



H

aving left behind the ‘dad-rock’ sound that permeated through their two previous albums in favour of an impressive mix of upbeat Elvis Costello-style rockers, sombre ballads and more experimental wig-outs, Chicago’s Wilco have played a blinder.

The Whole Love was preceded by the fantastic single "I Might", a stomping glockenspiel-tinged marvel. Other tracks in this vein are executed with similar energy and volume, such as the fast-paced "Standing O", featuring the most infectious hand-clapping since Kool and the Gang, as well as "Born Alone", a song which perfectly serves as a showcase for the singer’s unique skill for melody and the virtuosic guitar-playing of Nels Cline.

Cline’s presence is felt far more strongly on The Whole Love than on either of his previous records with the band, delivering an Earth-shattering solo on the stunning opener, "Art of Almost", a sample-laden slice of psych-rock. While such a degree of

experimentation isn’t achieved again on the rest of the album, "...Almost" serves as an extremely potent musical display of one of the best bands working today.

Meanwhile, much of the album is made up of tracks like "Sunloathe" and "Capitol City": subdued but supremely melodic songs that wouldn’t have felt out of place on The Beatles’ Abbey Road. The latter of these packs in a clarinet solo, slide guitar and more glockenspiel but stays distinctly unironic, one of the qualities that makes Tweedy’s songwriting so compelling. Without such earnest composition, the 12-minute closer "One Sunday Morning" would be laughable.

It instead is one of the most captivating songs here, based around a beautifully delicate guitar motif and hushed confessional vocals.

With this record, Wilco are undoubtably back to their best, having made a great-sounding album. That said, what makes this album sound impressive never gets in the way of how enjoyable Wilco’s music is. For fans, this is of course a must-have but equally to those who have never heard them, The Whole Love serves as a perfect introduction and, crucially, a very fun listen.

Emmett Cruddas

WOODEN PERFORMANCE: Wilco look like planks

kasabian Velociraptor!

COLUMBIA



K

asabian’s keen mix of mis-matched musical styles never fails to tempt the ear and rarely changes – a tenacity to style which, by a group’s fourth album, is unexpected, and perhaps ill-advised. This new offering from the Leicestershire quartet is made of their usual mix of screaming electro and chantable stadium tracks, and just a dash of string section.

“

This new offering is made of their usual mix of screaming electro and chantable stadium tracks."

The very first track is a clear example of this, the band’s fondness for chorus, guitars, and beats you can dance to working well as background to "Let’s Roll Just Like We Used To", a track reminiscent of vocalist Tom Meighan’s childhood alongside guitarist Sergio Pizzorino. Ominous humming set with far-distant trumpets paints a sun-drenched scene, and this combined with the punchy vocals and crunchy guitars of "Days Are Forgot-

ten" provides an energetic opening to the album.

From here, the ten-track album loses its energy somewhat. We can wander happily past songs of summer romance and drunken drowsiness, but aside from the title track "Velociraptor!", whose choppy guitars and chant-screams promise to be at an Indie club night near you soon, songs are more lethargic than you might expect. Kasabian are far from dinosaurs themselves- at just over ten years old, and having never hit galactic levels of fame, the group still have some creative force left, but have now released an album which sounds like a watered down version of 2009’s explosive West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum.

As we meander through to the final track, the Neon Noon promised by the title is never delivered, and the song itself takes more than half its length to get off the ground at all. Throughout the album, Meighan’s insistence on ending each line with a drawn-out syllable makes lyrics whiny, and lets the words get lost in themselves. While this by no means makes a given song any less of a party track, it rather obscures the poetry we expect to be there, and creates a wash of sound punctuated by noisy drums.

Overall, a good set of songs from this well-loved band which won’t disappoint, but which is not their best work by a long shot.

Jenni Ajderian

Singles SUGababes Freedom SONY MUSIC

 ’ve got a feeling that the SugIhouse ababes have gone mad. Not acidmad, or experimenting with

LIFE'S A BEACH: Except one Dum Dum Girl looks a bit chilly

Dum dum girls Only in Dreans SUB POP

 ype has been pretty steadily H growing around the all female LA band Dum Dum Girls ever since the

release, to widespread critical acclaim, of their debut album I Will Be in 2010.

Songs like "Jail La La" were combined with impressive live shows supporting Vampire Weekend to cultivate a burgeoning fan base. The message for their second effort Only In Dreams was very much “more of the same please.”

This is a record, however, that doesn’t sound anything like what was expected. Dum Dum Girls have quite clearly evolved and matured rapidly, their classic lo-fi sound is still present but it is now more refined and unquestionably a little less rough around the edges. Lead singer Dee Dee Penny has also undergone a remarkable transformation. Her subject matter has moved from jaunty teenage nostalgia on I Will Be to very real and very raw outpourings on issues such as the death of her mother. "Hold Your Hand", a gorgeous

apparat The Devil's Walk MUTE RECORDS

 1812 Percy Shelley wrote The ItionnDevil ’s Walk in vehement opposito the spiralling grain prices,

and incessant warfare that plagued Britain. In 2011, Berlin-based shoegaze-soundscaper Sascha Ring in his Apparat alias presents something of the same name, but rather different.

The album is simply gorgeous.

Whilst the listener seeking something brash, spangled and altogether striking may feel underwhelmed, for the connoisseur of quieter things Apparat creates ambient shoegaze at its very best: pulsating and delicate dreamscapes that wash over you in waves, rich with pulsating chords, rumoured with handclaps, erupting into glorious orchestral moments, infused with choirs and tinkling ivories. Each track feels painstakingly handcrafted and deeply considered – the production is little short of genius.

The Devil ’s Walk is not exclusively instrumental, and when Ring’s warm voice unexpectedly cracks into life, it’s a real pleasure. Lyrics are simple and poignant; breathy melancholic dirges painting vivid images – the description of the city in "Escape"

little number, was written immediately after the diagnosis of a fatal illness. Dee Dee is this record’s greatest asset, seizing the limelight and stealing the show in a Blondie-esque fashion.

It is clear that Dum Dum Girls are a band completely immersed in their record collection. A love for Jesus and the Mary Chain becomes apparent right from the first song "Always Looking", the bass beautifully rumbling away in the background, whilst the more mainstream direction taken on this record gives it a hint of Siouxsie and the Banshees.

In truth, it is difficult to know what to make of this record. It feels as if Dum Dum Girls have come so close to hitting the jackpot, but have fallen agonisingly short. It misses a song with the instant impact of "Jail La La" to get the attention they so crave, and while at times the records soars with songs such as the majestic "Teardrops on Your Pillow", the overall impact is a little underwhelming. Make no mistake, however, this a band with an awful lot to give, and I for one can’t wait to hear it. School report would read: "Could do better".

Phil Smith

is beautifully put. Anja Plaschg also makes a brief but majestic appearance on the darkly sincere and resonating "Goodbye".

“

Apparat creates ambient shoegaze at its very best; pulsating and delicate dreamscapes that wash over you in waves, erupting into glorious orchestral moments."

Yet the most intriguing addition to this spacious and skiffling record are the rare moments where Apparat’s roots in techno music become apparent. "Song of Los" is perhaps the most commercial of the tracks, an off-kilter dub track that builds and bubbles with real intent. "Ash/Black Veil" is similarly encapsulating, a gentle beat with crooning vocals which warps into something undeniably danceable.

In equal parts a headphone experience for rainy days and a kaleidoscopic soundtrack to a hazy night, The Devil ’s Walk is magnificently immersive, a must for techno-heads, dub-kids and dreamers.

Ger Ellis

a donk mad. The wearing socks on your hand and performing pantomimes to mice mad. The fact they still call themselves Sugababes despite perpetually revolving the door of New Look’s catalogue models to contribute to an ever changing line-up is obviously crackers.

The fact that "Freedom" has been released, despite sounding like the sweaty ghost of 2008’s rave-pop failure sleepwalking into a crayon chorus, is bargain bin barmy. Or maybe I’m wrong, and this dirtying, three minutes of head-in-bucket, ear bullying, clichéd chunk of poppie leftovers is actually a profound piece of satire intended to highlight the declining value of modern chart music.

Jack Murray

J-LO

Papi ISLAND

 here’s something very Club T Med about Jennifer Lopez’s latest output. It provides the per-

fect musical bridge at the package holiday dance-party between the last chords of a tinny panpipes Macarena and the hard-core Eurodance starting; that awkward interlude when your parents are still awake but you’re slightly soused.

Ever the canny business woman, J-Lo has tapped into this with "Papi". “Dance for your Papi!” she insists over and over to a pulsating synth, the implication surely being that then he’ll go to bed. Over-production waters down the obscure Latin origins of "Papi" like a cheap Margherita, while Lopez’s ever-flat voice captures aptly the sort of selfloathing and shame you feel when with dancing with your own papi, or indeed, any immediate family members. Save the comparatively banging "On the Floor" for when they’re in bed.

Catherine Sylvain

LISTINGS THE WOMBATS: O2 Academy, Glasgow, Friday 7th October GOLD PANDA: King Tuts, Glasgow, Saturday 8th October GRUFF RHYS: Bongo Club, Saturday 8th October SPIRITUALIZED: Queen’s Hall, Sunday 9th October

Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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28 Music

Remember you're a Wombat akron/family

Tom Kinney talks to Dan Haggis of The Wombats about their new album and current tour

an Haggis, one-third of The D Wombats, is sat on a beach in Folkestone, as he recounts the “awesome” past few months that the band have had. After a summer playing festivals, “helping people go wild”, The Wombats are embarking on their first tour since the release of new album This Modern Glitch, and Dan reveals that after the “amazing” festival experience, “it’s nice to be back on a proper tour.”

“

We play album tracks that haven't been released as singles and the whole crowd are singing along, it's amazing."

Dan Haggis, The Wombats This is the first real chance The Wombats have had to gauge their fan’s reaction to the new album, and Haggis is pleasantly surprised with what he’s seen so far. “People have really taken to the new album. Some of the new songs get a better reaction than the old ones.”

This love of the new amongst the fans is most evident, Dan reveals, when the band have played "Walking Disasters", an album track not yet released as a single. This track has seen “the whole crowd singing along” every night of the tour, much to the surprise of The Wombats who have “changed its set position because of the reaction it got.”

The new album was originally scheduled for release late last year,

but “loads of little things” delayed it until April. Haggis divulged that The Wombats had thought, after waiting so long already, “there’s no point putting something out if we’re not happy with it.” Having found the delayed release “really frustrating”, are The Wombats happy with the finished record? “Yeah, 99 per cent. No, actually, probably less than that.” Dan explained this small percentage of dis-satisfaction was nothing to do with any of the songs, but because “as a band, you’re always trying to better yourselves, make new and exciting things. There are always going to be things you think you could have done better.”

This Modern Glitch sees The Wombats introduce a much more synthy element to their sound, and Haggis revealed this added to the delay between albums. It was something they had never used before, and so they “had a lot of time playing around with the synths, jamming with different sounds, getting used to using them.”

Having played A Guide to Love, Loss and Desperation for over four years, you could imagine The Wombats’ enthusiasm on some early tracks might fade.

“No, not at all”, Dan states, with real energy in his voice, before explaining that on every track they play live they think “we love this one”. He believes this is largely down to “changing setlists and playing in new countries with new, different people watching.”

This is a world tour for The Wombats, and the day after they finish their UK dates they fly to Australia, before playing some “smaller places off the

MESSY: The Wombats' attempts to make themselves look more arty backfires

“

This is the first real chance The Wombats have had to gauge their fans' reaction to the new album, This Modern Glitch."

Albums

beaten track” in the US. From there they play the rest of Europe before they end up “back in Liverpool” (unfortunately Dan did not sing this line).

You can imagine that having the tag of being from Liverpool’s historically influential music scene might be a slight burden for The Wombats, but Dan quashes this suggestion, describing how it “helps them have a sense of

a musical place” among fans, and works especially well in Japan and America.

With so many different places to stop off on the tour, it’s great to hear the excitement The Wombats have for their trip to Scotland; the only place they’ve “been covered with pints of beer on stage”. Haggis is looking forward to performing in a country “with this slight extra bit of wildness to it.”

Live

which I’m sure a rich rapper man could really relate to: try remixing said song with "My Old Man's a Dustman" in your head - that’s about the jist of it.

Next it was onto catch the headliners, The Dykeenies, who were unfortunate enough to have to follow stage predecessors The 10:04’s, who in amongst the attitude and the clanging pedals managed to give off the impression that they cared about making sure every single person in the room had a good time. I dare say they’d have fetched me a nice cup of tea if I’d have asked politely enough.

The Whip

Eh1 Festival





Wired Together SOUTHERN FRIED

Various Venues, EDINBURGH

into the Liquid Rooms Ithewandered around four o’clock on the day of festival and anyone else in my shoes

ith its stomping, hypW notic rhythm and shouty vocals, my fifteen year-old self

was pretty infatuated with The Whip’s first offering, "Trash". If I remember rightly, it was the song that my Myspace page irritated any visitors with for an entire year. It’s the kind of track that repetition really favours – layer upon layer come crashing in, building up to a euphoric conclusion.

“

Destined for the empty dancefloors of grimy little clubs rather than the charts, the songs lack that infectious hook" Five years on, the Greater Manchester based trio have teamed up with highly acclaimed producer Jagz Kooner to release Wired Together, an album that sees less of the indie guitar riffs but a movement in a slicker, electro-centric direction.

Songs like "Master of Ceremonies" have a floaty, dreamy vibe, featuring

glistening synths reminiscent of Cut Copy or M83. It’s not all one big improvement though: "Metal Law" is lyrically a feeble and depressing version of The Rakes’ "Retreat" (“get up, go to work, do the gig, go to bed”). It obeys the same formula as "Trash" but doesn’t gather the same exciting momentum as the repetition grows tedious.

There’s something about this album that instantly feels dated, as though it’s been lying dusty and undiscovered amongst Klaxons and Trash Fashion records of the nu rave surge. Destined for the empty dancefloors of grimy little clubs rather than the charts, the songs lack the infectious hook and hints of current music developments to seduce the public ear. The album is most successful when it sticks to the

band’s original recipe rather than straying from it – "Keep or Delete" and "Shake" have the sweaty, foot stamping, jump-inducing sensation that The Whip were originally praised for. Where they’ve tried to forge a new sound and attempted to be recognised in the electronic dance sphere more than the indie, they come across as uninspired and dull.

Unfortunately Wired Together didn’t live up to the high expectations of my fist-pumping inner teen. The band comes frustratingly close to delivering a fresh new style but their original flair for energetic and anthemic tunes is lost beneath a concept that doesn’t do them any favours.

Felicity Martin

would be forgiven for thinking EH1 Live is little more experienced in years than it is. This was only its first outing, which was surprising given its professional looking set-up. I was introduced to the proceedings by Edinburgh band The Merrylees, who bashed out Beatles-influenced rhythmic ditties. Their live performance far surpassed the expectations I had, having only listened to their mediocre online demos.

At various points throughout the afternoon I checked into the festival’s two 14+ stages to watch some young musicians perform covers of Kasabian, Kings of Leon and anything else they could lay their excitable little hands on.

I participated in an audience of tumble weed for bands who deserved a much larger audience, and ventured off to sample one of the festival’s various other venues.

I ended up in the narrow void of space that is Sneaky Pete’s, looking at a pillar and listening to a fellow by the name of Scott McWatt doing a variety of folk ballads only to permeate the middle of his set with a cover of Jay-Z’s "99 Problems", with alternative Scottish problems thrown in, the likes of

“

The whole day seemed to be a glowing testimony to how strong the city's unsigned music scene is."

The whole day seemed to me to be a testimony to how strong the city's unsigned music scene is. In a city known for its drama and comedy, which is being constantly dwarfed musically by its older brother in the west, EH1 Live managed to showcase all the Scottish talent, of which it has been made clear to us there is an overwhelming abundance of, in just one day. I for one will be looking forward to hearing next year’s batch of innovative new Scottish musical protégés and hope other people take note of the festival's potential as a tool for promoting the national music scene.

Stewart Nutting

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Tuesday October 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

29 TV 25

Two half-arsed men?

LOST

&

FOUND

Thomas Hasler examines the thoroughly unchanged, post-Charlie �������������������� Sheen T����������������� wo and a Half Men



W

hile Two and a Half Men has always enjoyed high ratings, the controversy surrounding the departure of the show's biggest star, Charlie Sheen, has made the premiere of season nine unmissable television. Viewers have been curious about how the sitcom will survive without its star actor and how the writers will handle the departure of one of its key characters.

“

The explanation for Harper's death is unremarkable and no one seems to have been affected by the death beyond the change in circumstances."

The results are somewhat disappointing. Beginning at the funeral of Charlie Harper, viewers are presented with a tirade of the utterly predictable one-liners that define the show's humour. The explanation for Harper’s

ratings it wouldn’t be worth saving in such a way. Chuck Lorre could take all the material from Two and a Half Men and find a place for it in another one of his other sitcoms such as Big Bang Theory; no one would be likely to notice.

With Sheen's character gone and many of the remaining characters exhausted after eight seasons, there

doesn’t seem to be any direction in the world of Two and a Half Men, or indeed any reason to continue with it other than that it is still a money spinner for Comedy Central.

The show is like a zombie that vomits millions of dollars; the best thing to do is to shoot it in the head and say no to the cash - but alas, no one has... yet.

CHANNEL 4

Comedy Central Mondays 9pm

death is unremarkable and no one seems to have been affected by the death beyond the change in circumstances.

This may be show creator Chuck Lorre’s attempt to trivialise the role of Sheen and reaffirm his absence as inconsequential. Suggesting that Charlie’s friends and family would not have any issues about this is not believable, however – especially his live-in brother Alan who merely seems to lament his diminishing standard of living, neglecting the previous eight years of care he had given him.

The other half of the equation is the introduction of the new man in Two and a Half Men, Walden Schmitt, an emotionally immature internet billionaire, who stumbles onto the set just long enough to become acquainted with Alan Harper and buy his late brother's old house.

Schmitt is played competently by Ashton Kutcher, and although the idea of Kutcher being the best part of anything may be rather depressing, the novelty of Schmitt’s character is easily the highlight of the series so far.

It’s a shame that the changes are so unremarkable, but the fans of the show are going to get what they’ve always got from Two and a Half Men. The jokes are shallow and predictable and the story is unexceptional yet unrelatable at the same time. If the show didn't have such successful

Garth Marenghi's DarkPlace Channel 4 (2004) 40D



T

CONSPIRACY: It was always like this. We promise.

COMEDY CENTRAL

Two And A Half Men

Eloquence and idiocy

It has been a week of documentaries. Katie Cunningham and Jack Murray bring you their verdicts on two very different ones PLANET WORD BBC 2 Sundays, 9pm

 tephen Fry’s reputation precedes him, being one of the most celebrated intellectuals of our age; especially renowned for his affinity with language. A documentary which consists of Stephen Fry talking about words seems like a formula for television gold, but, oddly, greatness eludes it.

This first episode aims to discover the historical and biological origins of language. As is customary in documentaries, normally in a bid to overcompensate for overly banal topics, Fry goes globetrotting. Fry visits, among others, the linguistically sophisticated Turkana people of Kenya, a baby called Ruby in London, evolutionary biologists regarding chimps in Leipzig, and a production of Hamlet in Klingon.

It was a lot of information to process, which meant that very little time could be spent on any one topic or idea in particular. When he returns to check on Ruby, he had to remind us of who she is. That should not be necessary in an hour long documentary, especially when tracking her vocal development is a focal point of the show.

This lack of focus, which was not helped by the big budget, made it hard for it to be enthralling. Some sections, and in particular his various interviews

BBC

S

KNOWLEDGE: Yes, I possess all of it

with the intellectuals are cut too short and a lot of it feels underdeveloped, or just under-planned.

Frustrations about pacing and spacing aside, this is Stephen Fry. Throughout he was his usual charming, witty and intelligent self; reciting tongue twisters to monkeys, wandering through musty libraries and being infectiously enthusiastic and delighted.

I expect the series to switch to more focused subjects, which will likely be an improvement, but in the meantime this is an enjoyable and light hearted watch.

AN IDIOT ABROAD 2 Sky 1 Sundays, 9pm



S

ix years ago, Karl Pilkington was just a bald radio producer working at XFM. These days, having been introduced to the world through Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, he is now a phenomenon.

An Idiot Abroad 2 puts Karl in a series of uncomfortable situations

bound to make his blood boil and his mouth babble for the purposes of entertainment.

The show is a natural successor to the first series, with the first episode already bigger, bolder, meaner and madder. Karl is found bungee jumping and when he’s not moaning about how pointless it all is, he’s screaming at Gervais and Merchant who sit gleefully like children still enjoying their new puppy.

The show’s reversed cultural imperialism provides incredible entertainment value whilst playing host to a whole range of interesting locales.

But just as with Gervais and Merchant’s previous projects, you suspect a second series will be the last (give or take an award-winning Christmas special).

The reason Karl Pilkington works and why An Idiot Abroad and The Ricky Gervais Show are such roaring successes is that Karl is just a bald radio producer from Manchester - the more he is exposed and used as Gervais and Merchant’s perfect fool, the more us casual cynics begin to suspect that Karl knows what he’s doing, and can begin to suggest that he’s slowly changing from a slow, observing clown to a man with a full jokebook and a fuller bank.

He’s getting wise to it: we should kill him now and keep him as a comic martyr. The best die young, the daft should die younger. Currently however, he is still fantastically enjoyable and An Idiot Abroad 2 is very good television, entertaining and tentatively educational.

his week Lost and Found is surprisingly meta; we’re uncovering a comedy series which is, sort of, about an obscure TV series. Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace was a Channel 4 comedy, first aired in 2004, which followed the titular character, a horror author and screen writer played by Matthew Holness. From the comfort of his leather armchair in a darkened room Marenghi proudly presented audiences with the show-withina-show "Darkplace". Its universe was a bizarre chimaera of medical drama and surreal horror apparently written and made during the 1980s. It’s actually a parody so hard its tongue is bleeding.

Teleplays of "Darkplace" were the crux of the show, although the narrative regularly switched out to interviews with Marenghi and his publisher Dean Learner (Richard Ayoade) as they commented about the making of "Darkplace" overly narcissistically and flamboyantly. The dialogue was incredibly meticulously written, laced with over-elaborate puns and inversions of classic jokes, ridiculous superlatives and deliberately off delivery – the result is downright hilarity.

The cast did an absolutely fantastic job: Ayoade’s performance as Learner was fantastic, often totally deadpan, even more so than in his later role in The IT Crowd.

Matt Berry, of The IT Crowd and Mighty Boosh, was the stand-out performance; using his distinctive voice to play perfectly Dr Lucien Sanchez, a role which can be best described as almost the total archetype of the 1980s macho hero.

Alice Lowe is also notable, as Dr. Liz Asher, a walking parody of women on television – “I'm just a woman. Oh.” The show’s aesthetics reinforced the pure parody of 1980s television. The visuals are dominated by the overly grainy camera and intentionally low budget set.

Supplemented by cut away images that look like the stockest of stock footage of cars, skylines, and the constantly-used creepy hospital image that represents "Darkplace" – complete with a horribly edited sign and terrible lightning.

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace represents some of the most surreal, exaggerated television ever made, but consequently, some of the most hilarious. Though its brand of comedy may not suit everyone, those certain to enjoy it would be fans of the Mighty Boosh or The IT Crowd.

Daniel Swain

© 2011 Accenture. All rights reserved.

This is your invitation to join an organisation offering greater opportunity, greater challenge and greater satisfaction. An organisation dedicated to teamwork and collaboration. An organisation working in the forefront of technology, helping 94 of the Fortune Global 100 to reinvent business. Our capabilities are so broad, you can even change jobs without ever changing companies.

Talk to Accenture and discover how great you can be.

The Accenture Experience – a careers event like you’ve never seen before Something special is coming to campus.

A careers event, like you have never seen before. Touchscreens. Videos. Games.

Networking. Drinks. And more. Explore what it means to be at the very epicentre of technology and business transformation.

Discover the size, scale and scope of what we do. See, touch and hear a whole heap of things that will surprise you. All while having fun. It’s called The Accenture Experience – and if there’s one event you go to this term, this is it.

Date: 12th October 2011 Times: From 6pm Venue: The George Hotel, 19-21 George Street, Edinburgh

Book your place today; tell your friends about it; just don’t miss out. So sign up now at your Careers Service and make sure you get to go to this one-of-a-kind experience.

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Tuesday 2011 TuesdayJanuary October18 4 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 31 27

Great Britain United FC

Injury Time

TAKES A WRY LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT

AN ENGLISHMAN, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scotsman walk out onto Wembley. On the same team. To play a bit of football.

Aside from being the world’s worst opening to the suspiciouslyracist-home-nations-joke-format, the above paragraph also represents a kind of prophecy.

In 2012, Great Britain will, for the first time in 52 years, compete in an Olympic football tournament.

Though the logistics of the team are as yet unconfirmed with three out of four nation’s footballing associations struggling to come to a conclusive consensus over whether their countries players will participate or not (the English FA are all for it, by the way). It is still more than likely that next year a Great British team, in some form or another, will be competing against the likes of Spain and Argentina.

The reluctance of the Scottish, Welsh and Irish football associations to commit to a Team GB largely stems from a proud paranoia that says: “Once there has been one major tournament featuring a G.B football team, more will follow...” continuing until the eventual erosion of home nation teams as unique and individual entities. The noble protection of a national identity is one thing; don’t start serving haggis with salsa dip, or using Guinness as lubrication, but what these football associations are suggesting is hardly a glowing example of 21st-century national allegiance. It’s essentially just not joining in, picking up your fleece and your flyaway and refusing to play with the big boys. It is blindfolded patriotism, a faux-philosophy built on nothing

more than flags and fear.

But the theory rumbles on, despite the continued reassurance from Sepp Blatter and FIFA that the anomaly of a footballing Great Britain will stay just that; an anomaly, a fleeting chance for momentary success in a sport that is held as close to people’s hearts in Cardiff as it is in Manchester or Glasgow.

And if it’s not about actually participating, it’s about who will be in the squad; the ratio of English to everyone else. And if it’s not about who will be in the squad, it’s about who will be in the manager; Stuart Pearce, England legend and slight psychopath is currently the favourite.

And so on and so forth, what started off as a mass bonding exercise, based on a one-off opportunity and the potential for more medals has descended into an overflowing broth of bullshit and hysteria with hacks, ministers and players alike all gurgling the fizzy juice of sour fib milk.

“

The real issue is not about petty politics or Gareth Bale's inclusion - the real issue is about how many people actually care."

But for me, the real issue of having a Team GB is not about petty politics or Gareth Bale’s inclusion, the real issue is about how many people actually care.

Ticket sales for Olympic football have always been notoriously low, the

TEAM GB: Does anyone care if Britain has a united football team? only football match to have sold out so far is the men’s final at Wembley Stadium; for many the tournament is essentially a glorified Under 21s and even the prospect of seeing a 4-in-1 football hybrid, like the soccer version of a Crocomonkeycatphant fails to whet the appetite. Probably because a Crocomonkeycatphant would eat your enemies and show a fanged trunk to a wailing audience, football can’t promise that. All it can really promise is three good goals, a bad tackle and maybe David Beckham’s stubbly head, carved entirely from the stone phallus of Roman statues and God’s fingernails. King Hunk.

Football in the Olympics is a bit like Ralph in The Simpsons. No-one really cares. If he died, a few people

would whimper, but compared to Bart and the 100m, Ralph and football are just awkward, ongoing injokes, built to please a few and bound to bemuse the majority. It remains to be seen whether the confirmation of a GB football team will give Olympic football the boost it needs as an athletic event, but it comes down to this.

Even if, in a miraculous moment, our nations combine in a mutual adoration of a white and black ball, stadiums are full and the Union Jack is waved with Victorian vigour, Team GB will still lose in the quarter finals.

Probably on penalties.

It’s probably not worth the fuss, really.

When is cheating really cheating?

Davie Heaton contemplates what cheating really means in a world of professional sport praise a man for not robbing a bank”.

How times change. The age of professionalism is in and with it, many argue, the age of gamesmanship. It is unfair to compare Jones, from a different era and playing a high minded game in front of a respectful gallery, with the modern footballer plying his trade in the shadow of a partisan crowd (try to imagine officials conferring with fans at Celtic Park or Easter Road).

Yet the shifting trends in cricket, another sport in which players are expected to be cleaner than the whites they don, reveal how the no-

PRIME EXAMPLE: Fergie embodies manager's views of cheating

ANDREA SARTORATI

BOBBY JONES was the greatest amateur golfer of all time. A child prodigy, he won his first tournament at the age of six, and went on to win 25 of the 30 adult tournaments he entered. But it is for his sportsmanship that he is remembered.

After inadvertently nudging his ball while lining up a shot during the 1925 US Open, he immediately called over the course marshals who, after conferring with nearby spectators, agreed that nobody had seen anything amiss.

But Jones insisted that a two stroke penalty be imposed. When praised for his gesture, he replied “you may as well

tion of sportsmanship has evolved.

Traditionally, a batsman was expected to "walk" if he knew he had nicked the ball to a fielder, removing the need for the umpire to make a decision.

Former Middlesex and England player Ed Smith, in his book What Sport Tells Us about Life, recalls a time in the late 90’s where he followed this convention to a mixed response from his teammates. Some commended him; others argued that if the opposition were waiting to be given out before leaving the crease then why should Smith put his team at a disadvantage?

"Standing" until the umpire casts his judgement is now very much the norm.

Cricket, ever a game of contradictions and complexities, also highlights the illogical attribution of moral outrage to certain forms of cheating over other seemingly similar crimes.

Ahead of the Ashes series last winter, both captains called for players to accept the word of the fielder when unclear whether or not a ball had bounced before being caught. Players were prepared to denounce as unsportsmanlike anyone who claimed a catch that was subsequently shown not to be clean, but happily continue to bat after an incorrect decision allowed them a reprieve.

A similar dichotomy can be seen in football stadiums every week. A player loses a ball fairly in the tackle and goes down injured, while the other team breaks up the pitch. Given the

referee’s responsibility to stop play immediately for head or severe looking injuries, the chances of an injury becoming more serious in the time it takes to complete a phase of play is minimal.

Yet a cacophony of boos usually encourages the side in possession to put the ball out of play. This practise has its roots in the days before substitutes, and before the invention of faking injury on the sports field. But managers who instruct their teams to play to the whistle are viewed as overly ruthless, while the 'injured’ player gets to his feet and runs away once the attack has been disrupted.

So when is cheating really cheating? This is the difficult question that may be impossible to answer. As stakes get ever higher, and more ways to flout the rules are mastered, expect the boundaries to keep shifting.

Perhaps the most serious injustices will be the ones that happen off the pitch. FIFA’s Financial Fair Play rules are edging into play, designed to stop self sufficient clubs from being forced to ruinously overreach in order to compete with those fortunate enough to be bankrolled by wealthy individuals.

This is a step in the right direction as it addresses the unfortunate mantra that drives people to cheat: in professional competition, winning is everything.

I disagree. Bobby Jones went on to lose the 1925 US Open by one shot, but his act of sportsmanship is infamous. Few remember who beat him.

BEN SUTHERLAND

Jack Murray explores the bitter row engulfing Britain's potential Olympic football entry

Upset but earning millions IT HAS been a week of upsets in the sporting world as it turns out some of the best paid, most admired and most talented people in the world are actually a very fragile and temperamental bunch.

Carlos Tevez, a stalwart of the sporting world who cannot bare to be away from home, was said to be particularly upset when Manchester City played Bayern Munich last week having been forced to travel to Germany with Joleon Lescott.

Lescott has trouble flying as passport control regularly fail to accept that he is an international footballer. As a consequence, Tevez was apparently distraught to have to share a pitch with Jerome Boateng - a player who was given the green light to leave the Etihad Stadium whereas Tevez was forced to remain in Manchester (the city where there is "nothing to do"). This offers a telling insight into the ludicrousness of Manchester City's current situation.

Ricky Hatton has confessed that getting punched in the face for a living loses its charm once you start losing teeth. The Stockport born boxer whose early career is an astonishing tale of triumph against the odds announced this week that he was really quite miserable.

Having risen from the Kingsway Leisure Centre in sunny Widnes to Madison Square Garden, New York, in the space of a single fight it is understandable that the end of Hatton's career hit him hard. He was a terrific boxer with a massive heart.

Unfortunately for Hatton both Floyd Mayweather Jr and Manny Pacquiao have massive left hooks. Hatton said this week, "I just wasn't hungry anymore"; strong words indeed.

However the most upsetting story this week is surely the news of Johnny Wilkinson's ball problems. A player reknowned for his meticulous preparation in search of perfection, the general consensus is that he has gone too far by tampering with his balls.

Perhaps they were interrupting his kicking technique?

Perhaps he just wasn't happy with them? Either way, the intimate and highly private relationship Wilkinson enjoys with his kicking coach Dave Aldred has surely reached a new level after last week's scandal.

The accusation was that Aldred, with assistance from Paul Stridgeon, switched Wilkinson's balls to make it easier for him to kick. An RFU source offered this short statement: "Johnny likes to get to know balls intimately before he takes to the field. He knows everything about them and how they perform under every situation. The coaches made the switch without him knowing. As far as he is concerned he's been stitched up and that's the end of it."

Edward Curwen

Sport

studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 4 2011

Disunited Kingdom?

Jack Murray discusses the politics and problems surrounding Team GB's 2012 football team P31

Capital gain for ice hockey fans

CAPITALS RISING: Owner Scott Neil flags the jersey HIDDEN BESIDE the mammoth international rugby stadium lies a lesser known Murrayfield, an ice rink that is home to the Edinburgh Capitals.

Formed in 1998, the Capitals are Edinburgh’s elite ice hockey team and are members of the British Elite League.

Enthusiastic about expanding their already growing student support base, the Capitals are keen to offer substantial reductions for students who attend their matches – beginning with their fixture against local rivals Fife Flyers on 9th October. A 50% reduction is available to any student who buys a ticket on the website www.edinburgh.capitals. ticketsource.co.uk with the code EUS9.

All of this means that for the remarkably cheap price of £5.50 you can watch

EMILY JARRETT

Chris Waugh visits Edinburgh's elite ice hockey club, the Capitals, who court greater student support

a fiercely contested local derby and cheer on the city’s local team.

Scott Neil, co-owner of the club, explains in a message to Edinburgh University students that “we have an exciting sport down here at the rink – get yourself along for a great price and an enjoyable evening. Help support us.”

The Edinburgh Capitals will be a new entity to many due to the relatively low profile that ice hockey receives in Britain – and that is all the more reason to attend in order to see the sport firsthand. Ice hockey is an extremely exciting spectator sport and the atmosphere inside this compact arena is always electric.

This season has seen a complete

managerial reshuffle occur within the club and it is hoped that fortunes on the ice will soon improve as a result. The Capitals are yet to win so far this season having played three league games and having begun their Challenge Cup campaign but performances are getting better and their team is beginning to take shape.

A welcome investment from Raymond Lumsden and Matthew Tailford during the summer has helped Scott Neil to concentrate further on the hockey side of the club. Assisted by General Manager Len Wilcox, the new owners hope to expand their fan-base further and develop a team who can compete regularly for the play-offs.

Although the new owners were necessary for the growth of a club that has been riddled with financial trouble over the past couple of seasons, Scott Neil’s running of the club must be praised. Having committed a substantial amount of his own resources to the Capitals, Neil also took over the coaching of the team for most of the 201011 season following the resignation of Brad Gratton after only four months in charge.

Neil is a legend of Edinburgh ice hockey. Over the best part of two decades as a player Neil enjoyed an illustrious career playing in Edinburgh and Sheffield as well as representing Great Britain on a number of occasions.

His devotion is admirable and his affection to the Capitals is genuine.

There is a belief within the club that a bright future is achievable if everyone pulls in the right direction. “It’s not just about this season – we [Neil, Lumsden

and Tailford] want to put a structure in place for the future”, Neil explains.

“The recent performances have been encouraging, in spite of the results, and against other Scottish teams we’ve been very competitive which is always one of our aims for any season.” Although Neil installed himself as coach after Gratton’s resignation it was only ever going to be a temporary measure and in August the Slovakian Richard Hattman was appointed as permanent head coach. Hattman himself had only just signed that month as a player but Neil said that after “positive talks I realised that he was the man to take us forward”, and so offered him the role of player/coach.

“

We have an exciting sport down here at the rink - get yourself along for a great price and an enjoyable evening."

Edinburgh Capitals co-owner Scott Neil

The appointment of Hattman shows a real statement of intent from the owners. The Slovakian became the club’s first European coach when he accepted the role and the Capitals are now attempting to adapt a more European-style of play as a result.

What has impressed Neil most about Hattman is his “desire to develop our home grown kids. It is so unusual for foreign coaches to do that when they

Edinburgh takes the heat

come over to Britain”, Neil professes.

The Capitals’ crop of rising talent is one of the few positives that can be taken from their financially troubled recent history. Youngsters such as Jordan Steel, Bari McKenzie and Danny McIntyre are continuing to develop and are now playing regularly alongside the more established names such as Ian Blake and Joel Gatushi.

Unfortunately for the Murrayfield-based club their star player and long-servant Neil Hay suffered a knee injury in pre-season and he has been a massive loss to them in the early part of the campaign, arguably one of the main reasons for their recent struggles.

In terms of prospects for the season, Scott Neil stresses that the play-offs are still attainable. Neil believes that “the team will continue to gel over the next few weeks and then we’ll look to take a couple of scalps from the teams with the big stadiums – the Sheffields and Belfasts of this world.

They just have so much quality and strength-in-depth but we have a tradition of beating some of the big boys.”

Matt Hill, a third-year Sport and Recreation Management student at the University of Edinburgh, is conducting research for the club in order to develop a larger following and improve publicity, particularly amongst the student community.

Sky Friday night TV packages and large crowds on a regular basis will help to bring out the best in a young team who are looking to the future and, with further ticket offers sure to be introduced soon, the Edinburgh Capitals may just gain a loyal student support base.

Chris Waugh reports on the Hockey 2nd XI's success over Napier in a heated environment on and off the pitch Edinburgh Uni 2nds (Male)

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Napier Uni1sts (Male)

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A RATHER scrappy affair at Peffermill resulted in a comfortable win for Edinburgh 2s against an under-par Napier first-team. Edinburgh’s great rivals never looked threatening and posed goalkeeper Sam Trett few problems.

Edinburgh started strongly and controlled the first few minutes of the encounter, playing some quite lovely hockey in the process. Napier's strength comes from their central midfield and once they were able to get more of the ball to Jack McGowan they became competitive once again.

McGowan’s ability to control play frustrated Edinburgh and the match

descended into a war of attrition. Ben Walker and Tom Nevill, umpiring this fierce local derby, had to attempt to keep control of a game in which discipline soon turned sour; without some strong officiating there could well have been an even greater number of fouls.

The mini heat-wave that has hit much of Britain did not suit the home team’s style and the stuffy temperatures stifled their attempts to play attractive hockey.

Napier, on the other hand, thrive in warm conditions and their dogged midfield continued to take the pace and punch out of Edinburgh’s two most creative players, Conor Bond and Will Eden.

Despite Napier’s best attempts to limit Edinburgh’s opportunities their backline was eventually breached midway through the first-half. Ben Tracey

produced a cool finish to cap off an explosive counter-attack and give Edinburgh a deserved lead.

Edinburgh could have been ahead earlier had it not been for the fine form of the away side’s goalkeeper who made a number of key saves from Tracey and his strike-partner McGowan either side of the opening goal.

With the whistle approaching for the interval Edinburgh held firm from a Napier short corner to ensure that they would begin the second half with a slender but important one goal advantage.

This did not satisfy the coaches, however, as the Edinburgh side were given a good talking to and told to improve immeasurably on their first-half offering.

Whatever was said in the dug-out seemed to work as Edinburgh were a

completely different side in the secondhalf. It is fair to say that Napier were the architects of their own downfall having had their central midfield talisman yellow carded, but this allowed Edinburgh to wrestle control of the game and play far more expansively than they had been able to in the first-half.

The extra man in Edinburgh’s midfield began to tell as Napier’s workmanlike approach caused them to tire in the final third of the match. Rob Anderson and Tomas Homer exploited the extra space and began to play pinpoint pass after pinpoint pass and create opportunities for their strikers.

Although the margin could have been far greater, Edinburgh ran out 4-0 winners with Loren Kock, Scott Duncan and Will Eden completing the scoring

and ensuring that their good start to the season continues.

The central defensive duo of Jack Baverstock and Stuart Fraser must also be praised for keeping yet another clean sheet and ensuring that Trett’s goal has yet to be breached so far this campaign.

Four goals are all well and good but defensive solidity are what consistent teams are based on and it seems that currently the Edinburgh 2nds have managed to combine the two to great effect.

With such a positive start to the 2011-2012 season, Edinburgh 2nds hold hopes of having a successful season.

Napier will be left licking their wounds after suffering a humiliating 4-0 defeat to their bitter foes and will know that they will have to improve immeasurably to compete in the future.