Tuesday November 8 2011 | Week 8
CULTURE
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C U LT U R E
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S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T u d ent N ews pa p er
S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010
University applications set for overhaul
Global occupation
The Student investigates the Occupy movement around the world��� >> News P3
Academic alliance
Scottish lecturers and students jointly criticise coalition education policies Varvara Bashkirova
ACADEMICS AND lecturers from various Scottish universities spoke out against government education cuts in a public discussion at the University of Edinburgh last week. The discussions which took place in Appleton Tower on Thursday examined the reasons behind the education cuts, the commercialisation of Higher Education and the importance of the united opposition of the academic staff and students against the coalition government’s education reforms. Suzi Compton, the social policy student who organised the event, told The Student, “The most heartening thing … was seeing and hearing academics campaigning around the same issues, and standing alongside us in the long fight against the damaging coalition vision of the future of higher education. “In attempting to present not just a resistance but an alternative, staffstudent reciprocity and co-operation
is vital, and we look forward to more events of this kind in future.” The panel of speakers consisted of Iain Macwhirter, the Rector of the University of Edinburgh; Howard Wollman, Vice-Chair of the British Sociological Association; Michael Northcott, Professor of Ethics in the School of Divinity in the University of Edinburgh; John McInnes, Head of Sociology at the University of Edinburgh and Dr Maud Anne Bracke, Lecturer in Modern European History at the University of Glasgow. Many of the speakers have signed an alternative white paper, published by the Campaign for the Public University, which opposes the government’s white paper that brought about the education reforms. The government’s white paper entitled ‘Students at the heart of the system’ has been widely criticised for allowing universities to massively increase their fees and opening the higher education system to for-profit providers. Prof. Northcott gave an introduc-
tory presentation on the document and its nine propositions, which emphasised the nature of Higher Education as a public good. He stressed the discriminatory attitude towards Humanities and Social Sciences in the Browne Report, calling it the suppression of the “studies of alternative ideas”. Professor Northcott renounced the budget deficit as a reason for the education cuts, stating that what is really going on is, “something quite different from the cuts” and should be seen as a “conservative takeover of the country.” Dr. Bracke stressed the problems with the commoditisation of the Higher Education. She said, “The degree is now defined in terms of £9000.” She raised concerns about the outcomes of big corporations sponsoring the Higher Education institutions, which would result in the academic research being based on these businesses’ interests. Professor McInnes shared the concern about the universities turning
rebecca chan
Nina Seale
into businesses. He said, “I don’t remember when I last had time to think of genuinely academic questions at work instead of marketing, income streams, or the latest policy directive, review or survey.” Iain Macwhirter focused on the University of Edinburgh. While he admitted the effectiveness of the internet and social networks as tools of resistance against the cuts, he stressed the importance of “going to the streets and knocking at the doors”. He reminded those at the meeting that last year demonstrations held by the Scottish students led to the complete change of the government's education policies, and encouraged students to keep the action going. The discussion sought to establish a dialogue between the academics and the students opposing the white paper issued by government. The general hope was expressed that this dialogue will develop into further collaboration. Dr Bracke concluded by stating, “We should realise that we fight on the same side.”
THE UNIVERSITY application process is set for an overhaul after a UCAS review suggested that the current system disproportionately favours students from private schools. A new system is under consideration in which students would apply in July with their exam results, ditching the current ‘predicted grades’ scheme. The Student has discovered those who apply earlier in the year are more likely to be successful as many offers are given out before the January deadline. The UCAS website guarantees that “all applications received by the relevant UCAS deadlines will receive fair and equal consideration.” However, a survey carried out by The Student suggested that 67 per cent of students were offered places at university before the deadline. 85 per cent of the students who received offers applied early in the application cycle in either September or October. James Woodward, a spokesperson for UCAS, defended the impartiality of the system. He responded by saying the number of offers given out before the deadline was “small”. He told The Student, “Anyone who submits an application by this date [ January 15th] can be guaranteed that the institution will consider them.” The proposed system, which would be applied in 2016 at the earliest, would provide three application windows for students to send in their applications. Students with exam results could begin the application at any point during the cycle. This is the case for many Scottish applicants who have two sittings of exams, one in their penultimate and one in their final year of school. Students who only receive one set of exam results at the end of their school career would apply through a different route which would open at the end of July with an ‘equal consideration deadline’ after students have received their exam results. A-levels would have to take place 15 days earlier than the current system and university courses would all have to start mid-October to accommodate the new process. A third application route would be set up which would be the equivalent of clearing. Continued on page two»
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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NEWS >>p2-7
OCCUPY EDINBURGH UPDATE p3 Three accounts of the international movement MINIMUM ALCOHOL PRICING p4 New legislation seeks to reduce rates of binge drinking and alcoholism NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES p6 University of Edinburgh research reveals the psychological reasons for the phenomenon
comment >>p8-9
AIDING DISCRIMINATION p8 Daniel Kraemer argues against David Cameron's proposition to withdraw aid GETTING SERIOUS IN SYRIA p9 Lewis Dunne assesses the effectiveness of non-violent protests
FEATURES >>p13-14 A WEEKEND WITH GB48 p13 A look at Medrags' cross-country challenge CHANGING TIME ZONES p14 Andrew Small discusses the pros and cons of adopting Central European Time
Reviews >>p19-26 CULTURE BOOK CLUB p20 This week's choice is The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides ALMOST HUMAN p23 Zach O'Leary on the horror genre's obsession with anthropomorphic monsters A NIGHT WITH THE MACCABEES p24 Ger Ellis discusses their Liquid Rooms gig
Sport >>p27-28 IS FOOTBALL REALLY RACIST? p28 Davie Heaton discusses whether football deserves its bad rep
Carolyn Lang
IN RESPONSE to the University of Edinburgh’s rest-of-UK (RUK) fees announcement, The Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) has launched a campaign against a £36,000 degree. Entitled ‘RUKidding’, the campaign involves students lobbying local MSP, Marco Biagi, a member of the Education Committee and also a Parliamentary Adviser to Mike Russell. EUSA is urging students to send him letters via the campaign website. The letter template calls on Mr Biagi to address the Scottish Government’s deregulation of fees which has given Edinburgh the freedom to set the highest fees for an undergraduate course in the UK, “Pass on the message to Michael Russell and Alex Salmond – deregulation of fees, and informal caps of £36,000 are unacceptable, as are the highest fees in Europe.” Talking to The Student, Mike Shaw, EUSA’s Student Council Editor, emphasised their commitment to ‘the
fight against the increase’. He said, “EUSA is leading the fight against the increase in rest of UK fees as part of the organisation’s commitment to campaigning for free education and fair access, “Scotland cannot be viewed in isolation. As one of the UK’s most active and influential students’ unions, EUSA and Edinburgh students continue to play a major role across the student movement in opposing the Coalition government’s continuing, ideological assault on higher education.” 43 per cent of Edinburgh’s full- and part-time degree students in 2009-10 were from the rest of the UK. The University have said that the price increase was necessary due to the Scottish government’s removal of central funding for non-Scottish students. The Scottish Education secretary, Mike Russell, announced in June that the £9k cap on fees should be extended to the Scottish Universities to avoid local students facing a squeeze-out as RUK students fill up more spaces north of the border in search of lower fees.
EUSA have openly criticised the proposal. Vice president of academic affairs Mike Williamson said in response to Russell’s statement, “The Parliamentary statement is in my opinion either deliberately misleading in claiming that the fees will maintain the current level of cross-border study, or deliberately naive in claiming that universities will charge only £6375, and I think Mr Russell should be ashamed of it.” The fact that the deregulation is founded on a “gentlemen’s agreement between Government and Universities” has angered EUSA further. As part of the RUKidding campaign letter, Baigi is reminded of his position in the Education and Culture Committee. He is told to use this influence to ensure a debate is held on the matter and to set up a Fair Access Unit, which will monitor the impact of the Government’s decisions on access to universities. The message from the letter writing campaign will be reinforced with a march planned for later this month.
Criticism of UCAS plans for radical admissions overhaul <<Continued from page one
The Russell Group, which represents the UK’s leading universities, criticised the new proposal. Director general Dr Wendy Piatt said, “We are concerned that the UCAS proposals might restrict the ability of institutions to make a fair and thorough assessment of applicants and also limit the opportunities for applicants to make informed decisions about which university to apply to.” Dr Piatt defended the status quo stating, “The vast majority of predicted grades are accurate particularly amongst the highest achieving students. “These changes would do nothing to tackle the fundamental problem of the attainment gap which restricts access to leading universities.”
MAKING THE GRADE: Shame the answer to question 16 was 'C'
University to recognise extra achievements
Leo Michelmore
THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has announced that it will be providing graduates with a more detailed record of their extra curricular achievements at university. The Higher Education Achievement Report, or HEAR, will be given to all students graduating from 2012 onwards in addition to their degree classification, and aims to give students and employers a more detailed record of achievement than just the grade on a degree. The move comes as a result of growing concern that the current degree classification system is failing to adequately represent the whole spectrum of what students achieve while at university. The certificate will contain more detailed information about a student’s degree than is currently provided, including marks achieved for individual modules and any academic prizes that have been won. It will also show any positions held
in societies or sports clubs, as well as whether the student has been a class representative at any point. Professor Burgess, Chairman of the Burgess Group, the committee recommending the introduction of HEAR, insisted that it was a significant improvement on the traditional degree classification system. He said, “The UK honours degree is a robust and highly-valued qualification but the honours degree classification system is no longer fit for purpose. It cannot describe, and therefore does not do full justice to, the range of knowledge, skills, experience and attributes of a graduate in the 21st century. “We have always sought to do justice to the achievement of students and improve the way in which universities demonstrate the wide range of their achievements.” In the future, the Burgess Group hopes that the HEAR will come to replace the traditional degree classification system entirely. A report published by the group said, “The benefits in terms of the richness of the information [the HEAR]
yields about each individual student will increasingly come to be acknowledged and understood. “We intend that the existing degree classification system will decline in importance until it should no longer be considered necessary, but we cannot and do not assume this will be easily achieved.” Despite receiving general support from students, there are some concerns that the HEAR will put an unnecessary weight of expectation on them. Talking to The Student, a second year French student shared his concerns, “I think it’s nice that we’re getting more credit for the work we put in while we’re here. “I guess the only problem is when employers start expecting us to tick all the extra-curricular boxes as well as doing well academically. … I’m not going to join another society if it’ll make my academic work suffer.” The HEAR has already been piloted in 18 higher education institutions since 2008, and will be formally introduced in institutions across the UK from 2012.
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The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org
EUSA fights fee increase
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
News 33
Sam Bradley
Demonstrators camping out in St Andrew Square said they were unconcerned about the possibility of eviction from their protest site, even as protestors across the globe experienced less receptive treatment from local authorities. A spokesperson for the Occupy Edinburgh camp told The Student: “The police have been good with us they are the 99% too. Many police officers approach us and have very good discussions of course I’m sure there have been complaints, but nothing that has caused us any problems yet.” The camp was set up on October 15, following worldwide protests that first started in New York City a month previously. Occupy Edinburgh told The Student how the camp expanded, “on the 15th there were around ten or more camping on the site. [There are now] roughly 26 campers sleeping or staying, it varies and greatly increases at the weekends. “Decisions or proposals of ideas are brought to the general assembly and then voted on or ‘temperature checked’ if they work it works, if they don’t it’s brought up at the next GA.” Speaking to The Student, several campers who had been present since the camp’s inception said they were not worried about being moved on.
Laurent, a member of the public outreach team, said, “the police have, so far, just been doing their job protecting us as citizens – they have done their job. “We have a good interaction with the police, most of the time we are polite with each other and they are sympathetic. Originally they were a little worried, but we greeted them talked with them – even offered them coffee and we have a good relationship, we are co-citizens. They don’t want to evict us; they don’t want to make us shut up; they would frustrate so many people by doing that.” Alice, a second year student at the University of Edinburgh, said, “It’s grown pretty naturally because it’s a talking shop for lots of diverse, different people from across Edinburgh. Basically, there’s no money allowed and it’s corporation not competition.” Duncan, another protester told The Student that “I would like to see more growth; I’d like to see more people come down who are dedicated. I’d like more sleep – that would be good… and more earplugs. “The general assemblies are probably the most reliable part of the structure. On Saturdays we have a public forum where anyone can come along and talk about the issues that they’re not happy about, about the way the world’s run, the things they’d like to change.
rebecca Chan
Occupy Edinburgh campers unafraid of eviction
STAYING PUT: I would have said 'they mean business', but as it turns out they're not such big fans of capitalism.. “The reaction has been very mixed; from ‘get a job’ to ‘go home and get a job’, ‘don’t you people have jobs?’ to ‘delighted that somebody’s doing something, we need a revolution!’. Some people are simply mystified, there are people that walk past and say
‘plonker’.” A spokesperson for Lothian & Borders Police told The Student, “Lothian and Borders Police continue to monitor and facilitate an ongoing demonstration in Edinburgh’s St Andrew Square. Engagement between
officers and demonstrators remains positive.” The Occupy Edinburgh camp has been hosting public events, such as theatrical workshops, a festival in support of the Robin Hood tax - and their general assemblies, held daily.
Daniel Scott Lintott An event that is rapidly becoming a global phenomenon all started here, near Wall Street in Downtown Manhattan. The occupation will reach its two-month anniversary this month and here the tents remain, now in an equally fitting venue. Though the twinkling autumnal sunlight is no indication, this public park was caked in snow from a freak blizzard a few days earlier. Unperturbed, 100 per cent of the 99 per cent continue to camp. After the widespread media focus, the occupation itself is surprisingly small in size, though far from that in spirit. One student had journeyed eight hours from Rochester, upstate New York, to join the protest, showing the national significance of this event. Despite its size the occupation is largely focused and united in its message: outrage at the capitalist system’s allowance of the one per cent of the American population to control a significant proportion of American wealth. It is a self-proclaimed exercise in ‘direct democracy’. The people want their voices heard and this method seems the only effective way. The “Yes we can” movement has become the “No you haven’t” protest. However, this directly democratic occupation certainly appears to have taken on just such a format. With a distinct sense of community, the site centres on a bustling kitchen with an impressive lending library on the outskirts. People are selling badges and giving out the Occupied Wall Street Journal in exchange for donations. The literature being given out is similarly well organised and pro-active. It is articulate and informative, driving a clear message yet recognising the complexity of the issue. Intentionally, there is not an explicit set of demands, only a call for accountability. This protest goes beyond
mere anti-capitalism; it is concerned with an infringement of democracy. As with most protest movements there are the few inevitable hangerson. One man sports a “Free Tibet” sign, whilst another section of the encampment is filled with environmentalists bearing a sign that reads, “There are no jobs on a dead planet”, a somewhat tenuous link between the two causes. Although, the best placard declares, “Occupy everything, occupy everywhere!” However, this sentiment is proving to be quite apt, as occupations have spread to London, Glasgow and across America. The protest in Liberty Square has definitely lasted and influenced, but whether it will take any practical effect is a different matter. If nothing else Occupy Wall Street raises awareness of a glaring anomaly in wealth distribution. In America the top one per cent of the population controls 40 per cent of the nation’s wealth. This fact is clearly a failing of capitalism and democracy. These are important issues, but if the London protests on education cuts are any measure of success, then the possibility of political action appears slim. However, this issue seems to be different. The occupation asks for a ‘call to action’, specifically a rise in taxation on the one per cent. Instead of requesting a backtrack on a policy, the protest aims to introduce a new positive action. Whilst the two issues can be linked, this difference underlines the crucial message behind the occupation: a direct demand for the American political system to become more democratic and accountable. The Wall Street occupation appears strong in spirit. It is extending its sense of community from the small square near Wall Street to a global scale. But as autumn turns to winter it will be interesting to see if there is a similar pivot in politics and the economy or if the cold weather will remove the protesters before change happens.
Daniel Scott Lintott
As Occupy protests start up across the globe, two of the student's writers share their experiences of the demos
Rebecca Chan This weekend the Occupy Edinburgh camp in St Andrew Square saw a cinematic development for the movement’s outreach activities. The campaigners, having covered the ground in tarpaulin and set up a bicycle-powered generator, hosted a miniature film festival - open to the public and free of charge. The films shown centred around the theme of activism, the event launching with drama-documentary The Age of Stupid, narrated by the late Pete Postlethwaite. Sunday’s programme included the documentaries Recipes for Disaster, which follows the journey of a family attempting to live without oil, and Just Do It, an investigative account of the world of environmental direct action. While the event attracted visitors to the camp, the low number of stu-
dents present was noticeable. Campaigner Lewis White, a student at the University of Edinburgh, attributed this to the fact that the occupation is situated in New Town, commenting that, “students don’t see New Town as ‘their space’” and that an occupation in Old Town might be more successful. “It’s always the case with these types of things, though”, he added. “There are always less students than you’d expect there to be, and always less than you’d like”. While this may be the case, students certainly haven’t been completely inactive in the Occupy Edinburgh movement. Last weekend featured an information workshop organised by the University’s People & Planet society on the Royal Bank of Scotland’s investment ties with the environmentally destructive tar sands extraction projects in Canada. This weekend also featured a ‘safer
spaces’ workshop on how the Occupy camp could be developed to be more inclusive of marginalised voices, and was run by a University of Edinburgh student. According to White, these events are indicative of the movement’s growth. Contrary to what might be expected as winter approaches, he believes that morale is still high. Indeed, a sense of community seemed to be present as campaigners queued up for hot food, made by volunteers on site, and cyclists sang songs of solidarity as they powered up the generator. When asked how he responded to accusations of the Occupy movement being ‘part time’, following reports of some campaigners leaving their tents, White was unapologetic. “That’s exactly what it is: part-time protesting. We go home, we rest, and we come back. The important thing is that we keep coming back”.
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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4 News
Minimum alcohol price to be set by government
IN
Brief
‘Innovative learning week launched’ Innovative learning week has been launched at Edinburgh University and will take place in week six of semester two this academic year. The University cites that the week aims to, “help encourage students to develop a wider range of skills and experiences which will enhance their employment prospects.” It is designed to offer a range of workshops to help students with everything from study skills to promoting your CV, and some of the activities proposed include film screenings, field trips and day trips. AB
Government firm on fees
The Scottish Government has announced that there will be no changes to the decisions for increased RUK fees. A degree at, for example, Edinburgh or St. Andrews will now cost around £36,000 for students coming from England, Wales or Northern Ireland. The National Union of Students Scotland were disappointed by the lack of changes, and are especially dissatisfied as, “there are no rules in Scotland for institutions to have a minimum level of bursary for poorer students.” Some Scottish universities will now charge more than the maximum fees allowed in England. AB
Edinburgh research improves plastic
The creation of lighter, stronger plastics has now been made possible thanks to the discovery of an intricate chemical process by University of Edinburgh researchers. They have devised a way of knotting molecules together, which could create extremely flexible and shock absorbent materials. These new molecules, known as pentafoil knots, will hopefully mimic the knot-like entanglements found in proteins and DNA, creating substances with increased elasticity. SM
ALCOHOL IN Scotland may be subject to minimum pricing regulations if a bill introduced by health secretary Nicola Sturgeon is passed in the Scottish Parliament. The plans are the latest step in the government’s ‘battle with the booze’, and would set a lower limit on what can be charged per unit of alcohol. Ms Sturgeon called the proposals “the missing piece in the legislative jigsaw” and insisted they would help deter “problem drinkers”. She said, “Scotland’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is one of the most pressing public health challenges facing us as a nation and we need to take action to tackle it. “By setting a minimum price for a unit of alcohol, we can raise the price of the cheap supermarket white ciders, lager and value spirits sought out by problem drinkers. “I will not shirk from leading the way in addressing this challenge. It is time for Scotland to win its battle with the booze.” The Scottish Government estimates that alcohol problems cost the country more than £3.56 billion every year and cause the deaths of 3,000 people. Dr Brian Keighly, Chairman of the British Medical Association Scotland, supported the proposed changes, saying, “The steps we have taken to tackle Scotland’s problems with alcohol, while progressive, will have a limited effect without any real efforts to tackle price. “The NHS is buckling under the pressure of having to pick up the pieces of Scotland’s drinking culture, which has largely been driven by cheap, strong alcohol.” A similar bill, putting the minimum price of alcohol at 45p per unit, was
UNORTHODOX PLEASURES: Some of the wilder students have been spotted drinking the stuff defeated in Parliament at the end of last year. While the proposals would have little effect on the cost of alcohol in pubs and clubs, many retailers would be forced to raise the price of their own-brand alcohol. The exact minimum price is not yet known, but it is thought that it will be similar to the 45p per unit that was set last year. This would mean that a bottle of vodka or gin would cost at least £11.85, and a bottle of wine would cost at least £4.20. The idea is that setting a minimum price per unit would only be a significant deterrent on people who drink large amounts of highly alcoholic drinks, and so would not adversely
impact people on a low budget, like students. One third year History student told The Student of her cautious support for the bill, “Clearly, Scotland has an issue with alcohol, and I think it’s great that the government’s doing something to try to stop it” “I’m just a bit tense that [prices] will go up too high. I mean, I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but I’m a student: sometimes I want a drink.” The SNP has faced criticism from its political opponents for the plans, with Scottish Labour health spokesperson, Dr Richard Simpson, accusing the party of being ‘dogmatic’. He said, “Scottish Labour has proposed a whole raft of measures that we believe will help tackle Scotland’s rela-
tionship with alcohol, but the SNP’s narrowly-defined bill - designed to shut down debate - means other proposals cannot even be considered. “If the SNP government is serious about tackling alcohol abuse it should drop its dogmatic approach, broaden its bill so a range of other proposals can be included.” In addition, concerns have also been raised that the bill may in fact be against European law. James McLean, convenor of the Law Society’s competition law committee, said, “Compatibility with EU duty directives requires to be considered. “[The European Court of Justice] has rejected minimum pricing in the past.”
Arthur's Seat burns in dramatic bonfire blaze Leo Michelmore
Open day attendance soars
AMATEUR FOOTAGE: This is not the first time Arthur's Seat has caught fire on Bonfire Night
Alex Cooke
the number of people attending University open days has increased by 75 per cent. The current economic climate has prompted an increased focus on employability, and prospective students want to look into the worth of their degree post graduation. Open days held in the summer have welcomed the greatest number of people, suggesting that students are starting the selection process earlier. Applicants are no longer simply interested in the most suitable course, but are now interested in investigating University facilities, the staff, accommodation and location, in order that they make the best possible choice for the future. SM
Luke Mead
Leo Michelmore
BONFIRE NIGHT celebrations had to be cut short as a fire broke out on Arthur’s Seat. At around 10.30pm, Lothian and Borders Fire Service sent out a fire engine to tackle the blaze. The fire was put out just after midnight, and is thought to have spread to an area of about 300m x 100m. A spokesperson for Lothian and Borders Police reassured The Student that the fire had not been “a major incident”. He said, “I understand it has been dealt with by the Fire Service. “It is not being treated as a major incident [and] there were no injuries as far as I am aware.” Fire fighters initially struggled to reach the fire due to the steep terrain surrounding Arthur’s Seat and the Crags. Sarah Trainer, a third year Law student who witnessed the fire, told The Student: “It was spreading really, really, really fast” “Everyone was rushing down [Arthur’s Seat]” Although the exact source of the fire is not yet known, there is speculation that it was started by one of the fireworks that were being set off by revellers around Arthur’s Seat or, as the Police put it, “a street firework.”
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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6 News
Nina Seale
New research from the University of Edinburgh reveals that neardeath experiences are simply illusions of the imagination. About three per cent of Americans believe they have had a near-death experience. The report published jointly by the University of Edinburgh and Cambridge into near-death experiences explains these paranormal visions to be the mind’s attempt to make sense of strange situations, much like processing an optical illusion. The report gives scientific explanations to different types of near-death experiences. It describes a 24-year old patient, named LU, who believed she was in heaven after dying from flu (when in fact she was in the National Hospital of London). ‘Walking corpse’ syndrome has been related to trauma and the advanced stages of typhoid and multiple sclerosis. Out-of-body experiences are related to common cases of interrupted sleep patterns and sleep paralysis in REM sleep when the person is aware of their surroundings yet paralysed and this can result in believing one is hovering above their own body. Research suggests that it is possible to make the brain believe that it is having an out-of-body experience.
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You can trick the body into thinking it is having an experience outside the body.” Dr Caroline Watt, Psychologist at the University of Edinburgh
Psychologist Dr Caroline Watt of The University of Edinburgh told The Student, “Using a virtual reality you can trick the body into thinking that it is having an experience outside the body, with subjects believing they were outside their bodies while we can confirm that they did not leave their chair.” It is suggested in the report that meeting dead relatives or even headless corpses can both be attributed to simple mind tricks. The cliché ‘tunnel of light’ has been artificially induced by pilots flying at G-force, but the report says that “������� �������� in the case of actual near-death experiences the mechanisms are still unclear�������� ”������� , leaving the real cause of the experience of moving down a dark tunnel into an explosion of light unknown; and the interpretation open to believers. The report does not give conclusive medical evidence to completely disprove the theory that paranormal experiences could exist. The research merely offers a scientific explanation, according to Dr Watt, and does not discredit the value of such an experience. She said, “These experiences are a useful thing to have, making the person glad to be alive, appreciate their lives more and make them less afraid of dying. I think it’s a positive experience, and our research doesn’t help, so to speak, it offers an explanation.”
Student pressure extends honours summer exam diet Alasdair Drennan
PRESSURE FROM students has resulted in an extension of this year’s honours summer exam diet. Following changes to the University’s calendar next year, honours level exams were to be held over two weeks, a significantly shorter period than in previous years. The introduction of Innovative Learning Week and earlier graduations this year meant that honours exams would take place in the first fortnight of this year’s exam diet, which commences on April 30. The University have since agreed to spread honours exams across the first three and a half weeks of the exam diet. Honours exams are traditionally held earlier than exams for pre-honours courses because exam scripts must be double marked and then sent to exam boards and accrediting bodies. This would have meant that some students could have had up to ten exams in two weeks, which may have caused some students to have two or three exams in a single day. There were also concerns that Registry would be unable to arrange an exam timetable which could fit into such a tight schedule. The Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) raised these concerns with the University who subsequently arranged to extend the exam diet by a week and a half. Mike Williamson, EUSA vice president of academic affairs who raised the issue with both the University secretary and the Learning and Teaching Committee told The Student, “I’m absolutely delighted that the University has listened to reason and changed their plans. “Having 9 or 10 exams in 2 weeks, as it would have meant for some students, would have made the exam period much more stressful, and would have undoubtedly affected students’ grades. “The compromise we’ve come to is
still a slight squeeze on last year's arrangements, but hopefully it will be a manageable one.” A number of campaigns were arranged by students calling for changes to be made to the exam schedule. 98 business school students signed an online petition against the proposed changes. Students commenting on the
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petition described the prospect of the changes as “outrageous” and did not allow for students to “achieve their full potential” in such a tight timescale. Andy Walker-Smith, fourth-year business studies student and school rep told The Student, “I am very disappointed the University chose to try and implement this new rule/system without any student consultation.
“I do feel [the changes to the original plan] go far enough, but I do worry that in other schools were they have even more exams, even a reduction in a few days can still cause added stress/ worry to the students.” The University of Edinburgh was offered the opportunity to comment on the changes but declined.
Would you support a two week summer exam period?
Have your say
Brain creates near death experiences
Emily Stewart Fourth Year, Religious Studies
“I wouldn’t mind them being held within two weeks because I only have two exams and as long as there is a space of 3 days between each then it wouldn’t make much difference to me. I think they would need to look at each course individually to see if it will or will not work, rather than imposing a two week period on all.”
Daniel Gradobich Third year, business and accountancy
“It’s ridiculous. I don’t think it’s right to squeeze them into such a short period, especially if it's just so the university can avoid paying staff for working extra.”
Anika Islam Fourth Year, Economics
“I definitely would not support a two week exam period. It would make it really difficult, especially if you have seven or eight exams or an exam for a course taken in semester one.”
August birthdays impact life chances Research demonstrates youngest children in each year struggle to catch up with older classmates Nina Seale CHILDREN BORN in August are less likely to do well in school, and have more trouble getting into top universities, according to the Institute of Fiscal Studies (IFS). September-born children are a fifth ahead in their development than those born in August when they start primary school. The study claims that this is why August-born children score substantially lower in national achievement tests and are 20% less likely to attend a top class university. The research investigated around
50,000 children of different age groups. One of the conclusions was that, compared to those born in September, August-born children have lower confidence in their academic talents and are less likely to believe that they have power over their own destiny as teenagers. Ellen Greaves, research economist at IFS and co-author of the report, told The Student “We were not surprised that a child’s month of birth has a significant impact on the beliefs they hold about their academic ability, but we were surprised that these differences do not translate into lower self-esteem more generally. "We also thought that the impacts on the probability of being bullied and being unhappy at school were surprisingly large, although these effects don’t persist at older ages.” The research also demonstrated that younger children are two and a half times more likely to be unhappy at school, and subject to bullying at
the age of seven. Teachers are about three times more likely to consider younger pupils in a class as below average in key skills such as reading, writing and maths at age seven.
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August-born children may end up doing worse than September-born children throughout their working lives.” Claire Crawford, IFS Programme Director
Claire Crawford, Programme Director at IFS and fellow author of the report, said that there was a direct link between educational attainment and having a successful career She said, “August-born children may end up doing worse than Septem-
ber-born children throughout their working lives, simply because of the month in which they were born.” However, the study says that the difficulties are greatest when a child first begins school and they decline over time. Though age still seems to be significant at the age of leaving school, teenagers’ brains have finished developing and so the academic trouble is much less pronounced. Despite all this, previous research by IFS has shown that it is still better for August-born children to start school in September as the effect of receiving earlier schooling outweighs the negative effect of being younger when the children start school. The government have discussed ideas about introducing age flexibility into the Key Stage 2 and 3 English and Maths tests, this would allow two opportunities each year to sit these tests, depending on when children are ready for them.
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
News 7
Alan McAteer
Landmark to be illuminated for Olympics
RUN FOR THE HILLS: NVA released images previewing the event due to take place next summer Alasdair Drennan ARTHUR’S SEAT will be lit up by runners in a massive piece of public art, which will coincide with the Olympics in London next year. ‘Speed of Light’ is being organised by Glasgow-based NVA, a public art charity, and the display will form part of next year’s Edinburgh International Festival and the London 2012 festival. The iconic extinct volcano will be illuminated by thousands of runners
wearing specially crafted light-suits between August 9 and September 1 next year. Runners will follow a pre-determined route around the hill to create a visual display that will be visible across the city. The charity is seeking volunteers to take part in the display. Those looking to participate will need to be able to complete a 3-5km hill run, which is the equivalent of running around 13km on flat ground. There is also a £10 participation fee. The event will last for over an hour
and a half each night. There will also be 800 audience members holding “bespoke walking staffs” each night who will form part of the display. These tickets will go on sale when the programme of the Edinburgh International Festival is launched in spring next year. Legacy Trust UK has been charged with supporting and organising events which celebrate London 2012 throughout the UK. Dougald Mackie, Chair of the organisation said, “The games are about
more than just sport. They are a once in a lifetime opportunity to showcase Scotland to millions of people across the world. “We believe that ‘Speed of Light’ will inspire and encourage people throughout Scotland to get involved and will leave a lasting legacy for the country.” Jonathan Mills, Edinburgh International Festival Director said, “������� ‘������ Speed of Light’ is a vast and exciting project with important and timely ambitions. We are very proud to be presenting
its premiere as part of the Edinburgh International Festival in 2012 and we very much hope to make the most of the many opportunities it presents to grow relationships with sporting and community organisations. “From today we are asking you to get involved in helping to create this spectacular work.” A number of other mass-participation events are planned in Scotland set to take place in August next year.
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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Courting (further) disaster A third-quarter profit rise of $5.14bn, up from $1.8bn; renewed permission for deepwater drilling; the goahead for £4bn of investment in North Sea oilfields off Shetland. BP, so recently company non grata, has apparently resurfaced from the oil and smoke smelling of roses. April 2010 saw the worst accidental marine oil disaster in history, as 4.9 million barrels of crude oil spilled into the Gulf of Mexico from a sea-floor oil gusher after the explosion of Deepwater Horizon, the rig drilling the BP-operated Macondo Prospect. Eleven employees died, and in the confused aftermath journalists predicted dire consequences for the company at the heart of the disaster.
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I doubt those still counting the cost of the Deepwater Horizon disaster are falling prey to the same amnesia." The damage was indeed enormous. The coastal states of the American south saw their fishing industries decimated. Tourism to the Gulf Coast declined sharply overnight, while the full cost to the area’s biodiversity in the long run is not yet known. The Centre for Biological Diversity estimates the wildlife costs alone to be “approximately 6,000 sea turtles, 26,000 dolphins and whales, 82,000 birds, and countless fish and in-
vertebrates”. This much is common knowledge. As with many stories in today’s news, BP dominated the media for a few weeks before disappearing from public consciousness. To those directly affected by the Deepwater Horizon spill, however, outrage at the group’s return to grace must be acute. Louisiana last year experienced a 44-year low in its oyster harvest, while in some areas entire oyster beds have been annihilated. Off the Louisiana coast, some reports suggest that the shrimping industry is bringing home a mere 1% of what it used to. The US government estimated the cost to the fishing industry at $2.5bn, with the costs to the tourism industry over a three-year period at $23bn. Perhaps the most shocking aspect of the disaster, however, has been the cost to human health. In the immediate aftermath of the blowout, BP used at least 1.9 million gallons of toxic dispersants in an effort to sink the oil and prevent it from reaching shore. The dispersants (which are banned in 19 countries, including the UK) are believed by toxicologists and medical experts to be the cause of the rising number of serious health problems consistent with chemical poisoning being reported along the Gulf Coast. The US National Institute of Health has just begun a study of 50,000 clean-up volunteers, scheduled to run for the next ten years. Although BP has ‘gifted’ $10m to the programme, the full costs are estimated at $34m. John Gooding, a Mississippi resident profiled on Al Jazeera, began to suffer respiratory problems and
INNOVATIVE SOLUTIONS: One of BPs responses to the problem of the Deepwater Horizon spill was to burn the oil on the surface seizures soon after the spill. Despite the same chemicals as with those used in oil dispersants being found in his blood, BP have denied his and others' claims for compensation. To add insult to injury, the $20bn fund set up to administer compensation to Gulf residents affected by the spill has been widely perceived to be withholding compensation in an effort to diminish BP’s perceived liability. BP are right to be worried – the group recently announced a further $15bn sale of assets in addition to the $30bn already raised in similar fash-
ion ahead of two major civil and criminal liability cases due to be settled in 2012. If found guilty of gross negligence, the group could be liable for $19bn in Clean Water Act fines alone. Meanwhile, recent headlines have run suggesting that oil slicks have been spotted in the area immediately surrounding the Macondo wellhead, raising the spectre of a renewed disaster. All the more surprising, then, that BP has recently been granted US government permission to drill once again in the deep waters of the Gulf of Mexico. The
Aiding discrimination
Conservatives and the SNP, too, seem unworried by the dogged allegations of malpractice. In UK waters, BP is to begin operating in the North Sea Clair Ridge field and has sought additional permits to drill in 1,300m of water 80 miles north of Shetland. In the age of instant mass media, are we experiencing collective memory loss? Headlines have moved on, and it seems public outrage has shifted with them. 18 months on, I doubt those still counting the cost of the Deepwater Horizon disaster are falling prey to the same amnesia.
Withdrawing aid to countries with homophobic legislation on the books will solve nothing, argues Daniel Kraemer Last week David Cameron issued a warning to the 44 Commonwealth countries who outlaw homosexuality, threatening to withdraw aid unless they made greater moves towards tolerance. At face value, this is a promising development towards putting pressure on a shocking number of intolerant countries. However, just raising the issue at the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting is over-simplistic, and conceals deeper concerns. Rather than being simply a legislative problem, homophobia in the Commonwealth is due instead to a mixture of deep-set religious, cultural and historical factors which cannot be effectively challenged merely with threats from an ex-colonial state. The example of Uganda, which has received widespread international coverage in recent years, goes much deeper than its homophobic legislation. The infamous Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which was published in 2009, would introduce the option of the death penalty in response to ‘aggravated homosexuality’. This led to a worldwide campaign
against its proponent, David Bahati MP, and a 1.6 million strong e-petition from campaigning group Avaaz. However, it was not Bahati who set the foundations for such shocking legislation. Instead, the bill was the product of a three-day ‘workshop’ given by three American Evangelical Christians in March 2009, intending to challenge the ‘gay agenda’. Instead of reinstating traditional Ugandan ‘family values’, the anti-gay movement is fuelled far more by so-called culture wars fought by these conservative groups in the USA. It is rather ironic that, while supporters of the bill claim that homosexuality is an American import, their homophobia is being capitalised on by American activists that see extremely religious developing countries as being prime breeding grounds for their hate ideology. Reading the text of such homophobic legislation, it is understandable why Cameron would want to do everything in his power to eradicate this sort of intolerance. In Uganda, where 46% of expenditure came from foreign aid in 2005, the international community clearly has
leverage over domestic affairs. However, simply cutting aid to some of the poorest countries in the world solves nothing, and is an overly simplistic concept. By cutting aid, we would be abandoning those who are most vulnerable, inviting further persecution of the gay community, who would likely be blamed for its withdrawal. Similarly, if these countries are persuaded into legal reform, there will not necessarily be any impact made on widespread homophobic culture, and the American religious influence which is so instrumental. Surely, instead of cutting aid to the countries in question, we should be supporting campaign groups who are trying to combat homophobia across the world, rather than deserting countries whose intolerance is largely a leftover from British colonialism. In an added aspect to this problem, Cameron’s media-friendly call for reform in Commonwealth countries seems overly self-congratulatory coming only a week after a suspected homophobic killing in Ayrshire. Though, legally, the UK is quite a good advert for sexual tolerance,
FLICKR: SKYTRUTH
As BP receives re-approval for deepwater drilling, Susannah Compton asks if we've forgotten the magnitude of the Deepwater Horizon catastrophe
there remains an unspoken homophobic or civil partnership to same-sex couples. sub-culture which cannot be ignored. Until complete legal equality exists in the UK, we cannot hope to eradicate the mixture of unintentional and malicious Instead of cutting homophobia in our society, let alone tell other countries how to improve. As aid to the countries an example, a 2009 poll by the charity in question, we Stonewall found that 28% of secondary school staff would not feel comfortable should be supporting supporting a pupil who decided to come campaign groups who out as lesbian, gay or bisexual; this shows how far we have to go before we are the are trying to combat exemplar of a tolerant society. Of course, the issues concerning homophobia." homophobia in the UK are on a differWhereas the killing of Ugandan civil ent scale to those in Uganda and other rights campaigner David Kato in Janu- Commonwealth countries. But the comary this year made the front pages, the parison illustrates the danger of over-simdeath of Stuart Walker two weeks ago plification in a culture where diplomacy is was much less visible in the media. As a about grabbing headlines and making a country trying to export civil rights to our name for yourself, rather than making former colonies, it seems hypocritical to meaningful change. It is good that David bury issues that we are facing at home. A Cameron has brought the issue of worldgood first step towards reform in the UK wide intolerance towards LGBT rights to was the long overdue announcement in the fore, but his proposals barely scratch September that the coalition government the surface. plan to offer the choice of either marriage
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Comment 9
Getting serious in Syria
SAYS IT ALL REALLY: One protester sums up the movement On October 14, the UN’s Human Rights Office announced that at least 3,000 people had been killed in Syria since the beginning of the uprising against Syrian ruler Bashar al-Assad and his Alawite dominated government earlier this year. The Syrian opposition has so far embraced non-violent demonstration, but as the uprising becomes increasingly bloody, the likelihood of more anti-Assad forces turning to violence to oust him is heightened. The protesters have so far shown ingenuity in embracing different types of non-violent protest, from demonstrations, sit-ins, leaving music boxes playing revolutionary songs in public
MAGGIE OSAMA
The situation in the latest home of the Arab Spring may boil over into conflict, says Lewis Dunne
areas and wearing certain colours on specific days to show solidarity. Many groups have sprung up across Syria and the internet to help better organise the Syrian opposition and spread their message. Furthermore, there are several major advantages to pursuing a non-violent agenda. The demonstrators have been able to gain international sympathy while undermining al-Assad's claims that the current uprising is a battle between government forces and extremist militants through this agenda. Due to the Syrian regime’s escalating violence against protesters, even allies of the country, such as Russia and Iran,
have had to start advising al-Assad to pursue reform in order to save face in the Arab world. Non-violence has also helped to make the protesters appear more moderate in Syria’s domestic politics, thereby helping them to appeal to more groups within the nation. The lack of violence has also helped encourage defections among soldiers ordered to crack down on the protests. While the officer class of the Syrian army comes from the same Alawite sect, a branch of Shia Islam, as al-Assad, and so have a vested interest in propping up the regime, the rank and file are majority Sunni. There has been a relatively high rate of defections from Syrian military personnel with soldiers being unwilling to fire on unarmed civilians. However, the protesters have yet to achieve any palpable changes through non-violent protests, though they have sustained heavy casualties. It is now becoming probable that Syria may be heading towards large scale civil unrest. There already exists an armed opposition group called the Free Syrian Army that has engaged in some small skirmishes with forces loyal to Assad, but the group is still relatively small in size. If the situation were to descend into civil war, it would cause far more problems for the country. The uprising in Syria is a mixture of civil and sectarian unrest. Al-Assad’s power base lies in the Alawite religious minority of which he is a member. If the conflict became a sectarian one, it would likely help reignite the similar discord in neighbouring Iraq and Lebanon. Even if this sectarian tone was not utilised, it is possible that violence would spread and help reignite civil wars in Syria's neighbours. A full-blown Syrian civil war then could embolden hard-liners in al-Assad’s government. No doubt there would be the fear among Alawites that they may face repression or reprisals in a Sunni-dominated Syria, and as a re-
Behind the headlines
sult the already repressive reaction from the government could be exacerbated. Simultaneously, the Syrian opposition could risk alienating many moderates and possible allies or sympathisers within the present establishment, helping to prolong the Syrian conflict.
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The protesters have yet to achieve any palpable changes through non-violent protests, though they have sustained heavy casualties." The prospect of a Libya-style international intervention in support of the protesters is also extremely improbable. Even if there were the appetite for it among Western nations, it is unlikely to make it past the UN Security Council. Russia and China have already vetoed a previous resolution condemning Assad’s response to the uprising because they believed the language used was too harsh. Both countries allowed the Security Council resolution on Libya, but this time Russia has a strategic interest in Syria as they have a naval base in Tartus, which they are currently expanding. Despite Medvedevs’ recent calls for al-Assad to reform or go, Russia is unlikely to do anything to jeopardise their base there. Therefore, the future of the revolution is in the hands of the Syrian people. As outsiders, we may look at Syria and say that the best hope both for them and for the region lies in nonviolent protest, but we are not the ones marching against machine guns with nothing but banners and slogans. We are telling the Syrian people that they must continue to bear the unbearable, and for the present, they still seem willing to do so.
John Hewitt Jones decries our superficial attitude to world-changing news stories
Several times I’ve been asked the mindless question, "What were you doing when 9/11 happened?". There seems to be a grotesque human fascination with the juxtaposition of the blindingly mundane and the cataclysmically shocking: "Ooh, I was having a cup of tea when I switched on the kitchen telly, and there it was…", "I was having a shit while listening to Radio 4 when I heard…". Reflecting on the events of September 11, it seems especially strange that we fail to link this morbid captivation with a desire to understand the effects of worldchanging moments, particularly as they continue to unfold. It’s only recently that I’ve taken the time to recall exactly what I was doing on September 11 2001. I was ten at the time, at school, and understandably did not fully appreciate the significance of the events that I saw unfolding on the TV screen. I had no previous knowledge of what the World Trade Centre’s Twin Towers were, and certainly didn’t comprehend the consequences of this world-shaping event. It would have been
interesting to live through the aftermath and the magnitude of subsequent conas a thinking adult. sequences: "Judge whether good enough hit S[addam] H[ussein] at same time. Not only U[sama] B[in] L[aden]. Go Our disjointed, massive. Sweep it all up. Things related and not." often contradictory Into the above lines are packed ten reactions to news years’ worth of transatlantic foreign policy, and two world conflicts later, it’s stories can spur on clear that the long-term effects of an event can usually only be appreciated by the kind of Gaddafi privy to the machinations of power fervour we have seen those at the time. However, even having only limited knowledge about events, we can recently." still reassess and reevaluate the meaning But I believe that few people at the of events with the benefit of hindsight. time truly understood that as a result With the advent of twenty-four hour of the murder of the 2,977 victims of rolling news, it’s all too easy to get caught 9/11, the US and Britain would lead up in a news-story without stopping to the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. think about the context or developing Global events now move at such a pace considered opinions. Look at the recent that we hardly have time to react, never killing of Colonel Gaddafi, and the ormind the world’s media. Jottings of chestrated killing of Osama Bin Laden then US Defense Secretary Donald in May – whose death provoked disquiRumsfeld’s orders from a crisis meeting eting scenes of jubilation on the streets of immediately after the attacks illustrate New York. Meanwhile, the courageous the speed at which decisions are taken, statements made by the likes of Brian
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Deegan who have lost loved ones at the hands of Al-Qaeda, to the effect that the death of this murderer cannot result in a sense of satisfaction, received much less coverage. Our disjointed, often contradictory reactions to news stories can serve to spur on the kind of Gaddafi fervour that we have seen recently. Of course the end of an unimaginably violent, tyrannical regime is a time for celebration, but it’s also a time to soberly remind ourselves that we’ve been here before. The old adage that ‘history repeats itself ’ sounds a discordant note in the background. Assisting in the construction of a new, stable democracy is extremely difficult, as we’ve discovered in the recent past. More than ever, this is a time for us to be intensely aware of what’s going on around us. It seems pretty unsatisfactory to remain removed, aloof, and content not to recall and challenge views and assumptions made at the time a story breaks. Holding ourselves as well as others to account is an important part of being a global citizen in a globalised world.
Reforming what matters Britain is well known internationally for its status as Europe’s stick-in-the-mud. We have no written constitution (or at the very least, we might, we just can’t find it all on the same bit of paper). Our government is, now more than ever, a bastion of conventional wisdom and realpolitik. Our society is caught between the desire to reform our society for the better, and the comfortable daydreams of the past – a country of stiff upper lips, lawn tennis, parasols in lace-gloved hands; where children wear dresses until the age of twelve. The kind of society, in fact, where the Bullingdon Club are given all due respect for life, as just reward for their abilities to destroy a restaurant dining room and vomit over the maître d’. Well now we have possibly the most critical and game-changing campaign for reform that we have seen for a generation. Forget AV; the most critical civil rights issue facing us these days is the discrimination against female royals in the rules of succession. It’s what the country is crying out for! It works like this. Queen Elizabeth II was only able to inherit the throne because she had no male siblings to contest it. Had she had a brother, even one younger (and maybe even from another mother) he would have been king and she might have remained a mere princess all her life. Happily, from now on, the eldest child or nearest sibling of the previous monarch will inherit, whether male or female. Sadly, the new rules will not apply retroactively, so Princess Anne will probably not be adding Queen of Anywhere to her long and illustrious list of titles. In any case, surely this will convince the depressingly vocal progressive elements of Britain that this government is serious about gender equality? The Fabian Society claims that cuts and stagnant wages in the public sector will hit women hardest, but as long as someone of either gender, rich enough to weather almost any economic storm, can sit their couture-clad rear on the throne – well, that’s okay, isn’t it! Hang about though. As that purveyor of responsible journalism, the Sun, reported, had these rules of succession been implemented a century or so ago, Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany would have been King of Britain and all her colonies. You know what that would mean? We would have lost. To the Germans. This is what happens when you level the playing field for men and women - everyone loses. Except the Germans. Let's scrap this idea. Reform is not a British value - but xenophobia remains our proudest asset!
Lewis Macdonald
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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10 Editorial
Editorial
The Student discusses journalistic integrity
The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators, photographers, and designers to join our team. We're also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.
ultimately it is uncompromising commitment to seeking truth that distinguishes a hack from a professional. You might remember (or have seen on Youtube) Jeremy Paxman’s infamous 1997 interview with Michael Howard, in which he asked him the same question 14 times in order to get him to admit a wrongdoing. At the other end of the journalistic spectrum, the Chicago Tribune’s infamous 1948 headline ‘DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN’, pre-emptively
Tuesday November 8 2011 | Week 8
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S i N C e 1887
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T h e U K'S O LD eS T S T U D eN T N eWS pA p er
SCANDAL
Hugh Robson's secret brothel - the reason behind 24hr open
Sudden influx of students doing "all-nighters" alerted staff Zoe Blah
A SECRET BROTHEL has been discovered in the Huge Robson building, affectionately known as 'The Bunker'. A group of 10 male and female students were found to be carrying out "inappropriate transactions", according to one member of staff. The security guard, who asked not to be named, seemed extremely upset that the students were charging up to £200 for an hour with a la carte choice. "It's ridiculous. How am I supposed to afftord that?" girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls
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What's in store for The Student...
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The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 15,000 University of Edinburgh students every week. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.
published the day of Truman’s presidential victory, is still remembered as one of the profession's monumental blunders. Having carefully considered our editorial ethic, deciding to be more Veronica Guerin than Rupert Murdoch, here’s a snapshot of what you have to look forward to over the next few weeks.
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Continued four» LATE NIGHT SHENANIGANS: Disgraceful or an ingenious wayontopage relax?
Tuesday November 1 2011 | Week 7
Tuesday December 5 2011 | Week 7
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"IF WE DON'T RECOGNISE THAT THEY'RE ALL OUT TO GET US, THEY WILL GET US"
MUSIC» P18
Music» p18
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S cottish S tudent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010 M A KI N G M O U N TA I N S O U T O F M O LEH I LL S S I N C E 1887
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Plot thickens as Edinburgh city council manipulates reports • •• •••••• • ••
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emily jarrett
Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ
EMILY JARRETT
President Sean Douglass Secretary ���������� Varvara Bashkirova Treasurer Helen Stride
Rebecca Chan and Zoe Blah
••• ••••••••••• •• •••• •• ••••• ••••• ••• • •••• • • • • • •••• • ••••••••• • ••• ••• ••••• •• • •• • ••••• • • •••••• •••••• •••• • •••••• • ••• • •••••••••••• • ••••• ••• ••• • ••••• • • •• •• • •••• • • ••••• • • • ••• ••• •• •• ••• ••• •• • •• • • •• •••• • • • ••••••••••• • •••••• •• • •••• ••••••• • • • • ••• •••• ••••••• ••• ••••• • •• ••• •••• ••• • •••• •• •••••••• • •• •• • Continued on page four»
If I were a rich man,Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I’d biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn’t have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I’d build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen, Right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up, And one even longer coming down, And one more leading nowhere, just for show. I’d fill my yard with chicks and
turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear. And each loud “cheep” and “swaqwk” and “honk” and “quack” Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say “Here lives a wealthy man.” If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I’d biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn’t have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. If I were a rich man,Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I’d biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn’t have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle
deedle dum.If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. I’d build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen, Right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up, And one even longer coming down, And one more leading nowhere, just for show. Continued on page four»
image courtesy sonya http://www.flickr.com/people/sonyasonya/
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Journalists have always had a bad rep. This has only worsened over the past year, with hacking scandals damaging a profession that should be centred around the principles of integrity and truth. Characterised as creeping undercover and digging through people’s bins, the word ‘journalist’ today has become synonymous with slime and sleaze. It is with this in mind that we begin our editorship. While sensationalist stories might be eye-catching and page 3 girls might shift copies,
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12 Features
WHEREFORE ART THOU?: Bringing some culture to the hunt It’s 6pm one Friday night, and as most of the student population of Edinburgh are tucking into a pasta dinner, settling down with a Guinness or getting dolled up, ten teams are gathering in the middle of Bristo Square dressed as Dalmatians, skeletons, lions, bears, crazy surgeons- oh yes, and students. No, it’s not Halloween; rather, these people are all preparing to embark on the Medrag 48 hour charity scavenger hunt across Great Britain. Let loose at 6.28pm to sprint to the nearest bus, train, bicycle or plane, the teams all share a common goal: to complete 402 designated challenges over the course of two days. Taking part in the event, my partner, Caroline Hope, and I started off close to home and explored Edinburgh for the first night. We asked the resident skateboarders of Bristo Square for a ride on their skateboards before venturing around a graveyard for the best part of an hour to find the author of The Wealth of Nations. An ollie was beyond us both but we can now happily testify to how helpful somewhat dubious looking skateboarding lads can be. The fact that we later found ourselves wandering around a graveyard in the dead of night, wearing skeleton suits, no less, definitely earned us a few dubious looks ourselves. At this point, a number of teams were still in Edinburgh but a good few were on their way to Glasgow, Newcastle, Manchester and more places
medrags
Move over Phileas Fogg! Rachael McKeown and Medrag go around the country in 48 hours for charity
even further afield. According to the rules of GB48, no money can be spent on the challenges, and the teams have to rely on the goodness of conductors’ hearts, a few smiles, a couple of winks and a whole lot of schmoozing.
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Jack Whitehall became the 2599th hug on the GB48 tally, although it was not even close to being the most surreal event of the weekend." This year’s event faced the mitigating circumstances of both the clocks going back - which threw Medrag into some heavy discussion on whether GB48 was actually lasting 49 hours instead- and the backdrop of the Halloween weekend, which had the effect of making our wardrobes seem oh-soslightly less strange. The most popular challenge was undoubtedly the five hundred hugs challenge, which the teams embraced (so to speak) with incredible vigor. All in all, GB48 led to the occurrence of 2599 hugs over the 48 hours, and with some teams taking the form of bears walking around Edinburgh with ‘spreading the love’ signs, how could you expect anything less? A lot of people were brought to-
gether on GB48 – six foot plus blue body painted smurfs gave the bears bear hugs, monsters put a strangle hold on skeletons, and that’s not to mention the over-friendly German guys in identical camouflage short shorts and knee socks who certain teams encountered on the Friday night. Texts reporting the teams’ progress arrived at the Medrag headquarters in Edinburgh at a rate of at least one every three hours, with a prize being awarded to the funniest. Medrag was also faced with the ethical dilemma of whether or not to award points for the drawing of ballpoint pen moustaches and other such facial decorations on sleeping teammates. The aim of GB48 is to gain as many points as possible. You are awarded points according to the photos taken with different sights across the country, with the number of points gained depending on the level of difficulty involved in accessing or reaching them. Additionally, points are gained for pictures taken upon the completion of certain other, sponsor specific, challenges. An example of one such challenge was walking on water. Now, barring a quick stop off at the Christian Union to find out how Jesus would do it, this might seem a pretty unsolvable one. However, the genius winning team pulled it off when they took a picture of themselves balancing on bottles of Evian. Fun and games aside, the GB48 teams actually managed to do some pretty impressive networking over the course of their crazy 48 hours. The Ultimate Procrastination team who were raising money for the NSPCC went to BBC studios dressed as bears, where they managed to get a picture with the organiser of Children In Need and Pudsey the bear. One pair, dressed as Dalmatians, with the apt team name, ‘Where’s the other 99?’ went to Newcastle wearing home team colours, in order to best infiltrate the football crowd. On returning to the train station, and deciding that the beautiful town of Darlington was not somewhere worth going to, they saw a man who looked remarkably like Jack Whitehall. So like Jack Whitehall, in fact, that it was him. “Should we bother him?” became the figurative million-dollar question, but with the heady prospect of GB48 fame and the impetus of raising some serious cash for charity behind them, the answer was easy. “We’re doing it for charity”. So, with that, Jack Whitehall became the 2599th hug on the GB48 tally, although it was not even close to being the most surreal event of the weekend. Each team chose their own charity and corresponding (or not) outfits: from skeletons for the Brittle Bone Society to the ‘Where’s the other 99?’ dalmatians raising money for Sick Kids, to M’n’Ms supporting Project Diem. In addition to the partici-
pants themselves, the general public displayed overwhelming amounts of generosity over the course of the event, going out of their way to help the teams raise money for their chosen medical charity.
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All fun and games aside, the GB48 teams actually managed to do some pretty impressive networking over the course of their crazy 48 hours" Our team met no scrooges, a lot of jolly policemen and a hoard of helpful conductors on public transport – it turns out they only mind you skipping fare if you’re a penniless student, not if you are a penniless charity scavenger trying desperately to earn your sponsorship. GB48 covered the country from coast to coast, travelling over 4500 miles in total – although unfortunately none of the teams quite managed to cross the Irish Sea. The Vagabond team raised money for Rowan Alba and went by bus, by train and by lorry to Glasgow, Carlisle, Penrith, Lancaster (twice) and Preston.
In true student fashion, they stocked up on hugs from people standing in queues for Halloween theme nights, where mildly and not so mildly intoxicated strangers were more than happy to oblige. Friday and Saturday nights led to a lot of teams making new friends as they searched for places to stay for the night by hunting down friends of friends of acquaintances of… well, it gets complicated after that. Student halls were popular and one team stayed next door to a medium security prison. Another team slept on a night bus and can now advise any potential GB48ers, or anyone looking for a bus to sleep on, to always go with Megabus as they have the most friendly, helpful and accommodating staff. As a way of raising sponsorship for charities, all that is left to say is that while marathons are impressive enough, coffee mornings are easy enough, and going to the library for a bake sale is certainly done enough, if you want the most hilarious, intrepid challenge with the most surprises, the GB48 scavenger hunt wins hands down. GB48 this year has so far raised over £2500 pounds- and they’re still counting. And if anyone reading this noticed some Dalmatians cycling round Edinburgh on Sunday afternoon, please remember… It was for charity.
NICE HAIR: Earning points for photos in the GB48 challenge
medrags
A hunt with heart
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Features 13
Time for a change?
Andrew Small considers the arguments for and against joining the European time zone to work early in the morning would suffer, commenting that, if the change were to be implemented, it would be twilight in London at 8.30 in the morning. He also added that, during the summer, it would be bright at 10.30 in the evening, leading to problems for those trying to sleep for an early start when it is still bright outside.
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WHAT'S THE TIME, MR. WOLF?: If the proposed bill passes, Britain could operate on Central European Time A new bill will ask MPs to think about the use of Greenwich Mean Time and British Summer Time and consider if the UK should have the same time zone as most of Europe. At the moment the UK, as well as Ireland and Portugal, operate on GMT and BST. If a Private Members' Bill is voted through, the UK will use Central European Time (CET) and shift our clocks forward by one hour. This is not the first time replacing GMT has been proposed. A threeyear trial took place from 1968 by hav-
ing the time set forward by one hour so Britain was constantly on summer time. This was not popular with people who worked early in the morning and the north of Scotland did not see light until 10am, or sometimes even later during the winter. During the Second World War, Churchill adopted CET as it gave people longer to reap the harvest, longer to get home before the blackouts and it saved energy usage as people did not have to have lights on for long during the evening.
factoryjoe
Would 80,000 jobs really be created by these extra hours of sunlight in the evening or would cash-strapped companies just ration out their staff over the longer hours?"
Is this change a good thing? Supporters say this move means we would get more sun during the evening rather than wasting it in the morning, less energy would be needed to light homes at night and therefore carbon emissions would drop, up to 80,000 jobs could be created in the tourist trade by staying open longer, and that there would be fewer road accidents. The detractors, however, do not believe in the benefits. On the Politics Show, the Mail on Sunday’s Peter Hitchins noted that those travelling
The supporters say that road accidents would be reduced during the afternoon rush. This does, however, not account for the 'morning rush', which potentially puts more children at risk during the extra hour of darkness in the morning. Would 80,000 jobs really be created by these extra hours of sunlight in the evening or would cash-strapped companies just ration out their staff over the longer hours? Some might see this as a South of England plot for extra hours of sunlight at night. It should be noted the MP who put the Private Members' Bill forward, Rebecca Harris, has the constituency of Castlepoint in Bournemouth, Dorset – the very south of England.
Many also argue that it is a Europhile campaign to make us the same as France and Germany. The seven attempts over the past twenty-five years to move the UK to CET have been put forward by the pro-European MPs. Every time a motion to replace GMT has been put before parliament, the same arguments for and against are examined and the motion is rejected. What would this mean for students? In essence, not a great deal, unless you have early lectures. It will be lighter in the evening when you go out drinking and darker in the morning when you're sleeping off your hangover. For students though, university life is not a permanent state of being and the world of work is not that far away. David Cameron has made one thing clear. If he is going to support this bill, all devolved parliaments and assemblies must agree to a threeyear trial of CET so that the UK will maintain having a single time zone. The Scottish Parliament and Northern Ireland assemblies will probably vote against the bill as they will be the most affected by the change, despite speculation that an independent time zone might strengthen the image of Scotland as an independent state- if not in legislation, then at least in the minds of the public. The bill will be considered as soon as next summer in Westminster and will hope to fare better than the previous attempts. The key question will be whether MPs are willing to sign their voters into a three-year trial of a project that so profoundly affects daily life, and they must ask themselves if the current system of time is truly flawed.
Information overload
Cameron Taylor looks at how the internet affects academic life at university The internet is a tool that modern students have come to rely on far more than they realize. Whether it is to Facebook stalk, skype parents at home or find an obscure academic text, the internet is something that we use every day, and somewhat take for granted. The social aspect of the internet is often discussed in terms of its benefits and potential pitfalls, but should the way in which the world wide web shapes our learning experience be considered too? 25 years ago, learning at university was entirely different. There was no online library database to help find books, no online journal subscriptions to help access academic writings from all over the world and no Google or Wikipedia. The notion of a free source of unlimited information would have seemed entirely alien and too good to be true. As the old adage says, if something seems to good to be true, it most likely is. The expectation of the computer literate generation is to use these
new tools to improve not only our breadth but our depth of learning. Here at Edinburgh, the emphasis is on the availability of a rich selection of learning material through the online portals. WebCT, JSTOR and E-resources dominate. Entire books are available to read online instead of having to find a physical copy. The internet has undoubtedly
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The faculties involved in shaping new ideas and arguments are replaced by the ability to easily find out what somebody else thinks so you don't have to." revolutionized the way we learn, not least in terms of the sheer availability of material. There is no doubt that this greatly improves our student life.
Work can be done from home, whilst travelling or from the other side of the world thanks to the internet. Everything one could wish to learn about a specific subject is available instantaneously. This is where the problem lies. Does the internet pose a challenge to students? With everything available, where do you start? Plagiarism has been a problem since the advent of the internet. When the best ideas are available to put into your own essay with a ‘copy’ and ‘paste,’ the idea is more than tempting. The way in which the computer interface is designed lends itself entirely to easy academic theft. Whole essays are available online and services exist that will write papers or entire dissertations at your request, for a sometimes considerable fee. Interestingly, computers are now also used in the fight against plagiarism and severe penalties exist for those who break the rules. Away from direct copying, the proliferation of ideas on the internet also shapes the way in which we
learn. Some of the faculties involved in shaping new ideas and arguments are replaced by the ability to easily find out what somebody else thinks so you don’t have to. Ideas shaped by this kind of unconscious osmosis are not plagiarism and obviously existed before the internet, but they are much more prevalent now. It is here that we can see the potential damaging effect of the internet on the learning experience at university. Wikipedia is often the butt of many jokes, but it has in a way become a microcosm of the internet. The way in which all content is user generated and constantly evolving mirrors the way in which learning and the internet interact. Instead of coming up with ideas, the internet lets you have the best of everyone else’s for free. It's also worth noting that, as the internet exists as a space for expression, open to everyone, not all the information found online is of the most valid nature. What does this mean for the learning experience at university?
Cynics would say it doesn’t have any pejorative effects. However, aside from arguments about the merit of what we are told to study, the skills we develop at university are ones crucial to the world of work. The so-called "thirst for knowledge" can only adequately be developed if we are not content to let the volume of information wash over us and cherry pick the best bits when we need to. Fundamentally, the question comes down to whether you are the type of person more likely to use the work of others instead of generating new ideas. The major role of the internet in modern life may indeed make it easier to be lead down this path. Technology shapes the learning experience at university in innumerable ways. The way in which we react to and interact with technology will shape our skills for later life. The internet is a vastly wonderful and advantageous tool, but the challenge remains of whether to use it in the correct way.
Tuesday November 8 2011 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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14 Lifestyle
lifestyle
Memories are made of this
You don't have to be Bailey or Beaton to take a great shot, as Anastasiya Boika tells us “Photography: The process of taking photos.” This is the simple definition given by the Urban Dictionary. It’s true, in a nutshell, but photography has always held more significance than its technical meaning alone. We think of it as both a technical and artistic skill, a������ way of expressing ourselves. Photography is displayed in museums and discussed in University lectures. Names such as Anne Geddes and Dorthea Lange are associated with the style and the subject matter they focus on. For many, photography has become not only a profession, but a way of life. Photography can be daunting, especially when a competitive aspect is added to it. Competitions held by different prestigious organisations, such as the BBC and National Geographic, add a new edge to the simple practice of pressing a button. The judging aspects, as well as the possibility of being a ‘winner’ makes one evaluate photographs on
an entirely different scale. They are no longer a memory captured on a piece of film, but a form of self-expression under the scrutiny of professionals. To top it off, the equipment has evolved far beyond the simplicity and accessibility of the ‘point and shoot’ method. There are a number of different types of cameras, available in various brands, with differing sizes and price ranges. As if the camera itself was not expensive enough, it has to be complemented by different kinds of lenses and other equipment. This not only takes a huge chunk out of the budget, but adds to the weight one has to carry when going anywhere that might present a good picture opportunity. No longer can you just throw your camera in your bag and take a hike. Now, the camera has a bag of its own, which has to be handled very carefully so as not to damage expensive electronics worth more than one’s University tuition.
WONDERFULLY WILD: Who needs working doors and windows?
ANASTASIYA BOIKA
THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER: Beauty can be found everywhere Reading this might make you want to throw in the towel and just give up on the whole concept of photography. However, there is another side to the practice which often gets overshadowed by the numerous technicalities. The alternate definition given by the Urban Dictionary is “����������� ������������ the art of capturing the beauty of life, the act of appreciating 'the moment'", claiming that taking a photograph is akin to creating "a personal database in one quick snapshot.��������������������������� ”�������������������������� This may sound cheesy to some, but looking at websites such as Facebook and Twitter, it seems that the best way of sharing your memories and
All wrapped up
experiences with friends is by taking a quick picture. Sharing photographs has become so much easier with the advent of social networking; you can use your phone to capture a moment and share it with your friends and family in a matter of seconds. Even the afore-mentioned mobile phone is already much handier than an SLR or even a digital camera. Then there’s the good old-fashioned disposable camera – 25 pictures can be taken in any weather, anytime, without worrying about losing it or damaging it. It’s just as much fun to take the pictures this way as it is to develop and go through the hard
Katie MacPherson turns her hand to D.I.Y. as she solves our heating woes old tenements that have the insulation of a dog house. A large problem is that, in the run up to Christmas, we spend money on presents and food, completely forgetting the fact that we have had the heating on for
LAYER UP: But sometimes this can only go so far...
STEPHALICIOUS
Boiling the kettle for the umpteenth time, I sit and cuddle my tepid hot water bottle, shivering in my living room. Although it’s early November, the cold has already set in and many of us students are living in
nearly two months. Come January, the money has been spent in the sales and we usually have a big fat bill awaiting us when we get back from the holidays. I was sure there must be a better way to reduce the heating bill and not freeze to death and so decided to investigate. I went down to the D.I.Y. store and asked a colleague about the best ways to insulate the old houses around Edinburgh. I was directed to the Stormguard brand which has a range of foams, films and foils to help keep the heat in. What drew my eyes was the double glazing film, as most of the old flats are only single glazed – I wondered whether something as flimsy as a thin plastic sheet could really be of any use. The customer reviews online were all glowing and the price of £8.49 seemed reasonable enough. However, when I calculated the amount I would need to do the whole flat, one pack would not be sufficient. When looking at the other prod-
ucts and calculating just how much I would have to buy to insulate my whole flat, it worked out at exactly £107.52. The cost of heating my flat in this way would be like paying half the heating bill up front, though this may vary from flat to flat. I would encourage people to insulate their rooms as it is cheaper and will help with being warm in the coming winter months. However, it must also be remembered that this won’t reduce the bill by a great amount as the rest of the flat is still freezing. Other cost-effective ways of insulating include using cling film as makeshift double-glazing, which can be bought in any supermarket. Firstly, you need to tape the top of the film to the frame of the window, slowly rolling it down till it meets the bottom. Then seal this with the tape and repeat until the window is covered. Once done seal the meeting placed on the cling film so that no air can escape, then use a hair dryer to
copies with your friends, reliving the experiences as you flip through. You don’t have to have the right angle or lighting, be a Photoshop expert or own an expensive camera to be a photographer. All you have to do is see something you think is beautiful or worth remembering and take a picture with whatever you have. I think the Urban Dictionary got it right the second time around. Photography doesn’t have to be about the technicalities. It’s the idea behind it, the reason for wanting to take the picture in the first place, that makes it a profound art form that I would encourage everybody to try.
flatten the film against the window. Put extra tape on horizontally across to make the insulation secure. Doors are the next problem, but luckily there are ways to make cheap draught excluders that work. This can be done with rice, a pair of tights, old trousers (or material if you want it to look nice) and someone who can sew. The material needs to be 4cm longer then the width of the door and should be sewn inside out, so the decorative side can be on the front, into a rectangle with the top left open. Then put stuffing, rice or lentils into a leg of the tights and tie in a knot when it is just a little bit smaller then the outer lining. Put the stuffed tights into the sleeve and sew up the ends. While this may not be the world's best solution to surviving in cold Edinburgh flats, it is a cheaper way to heat rented accommodation. For now, sadly, I will have to settle for snuggling up to my hot water bottle and wearing an extra jumper.
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
Lifestyle 15 15
Caffeine nation
Viennese Whirls PART THREE: STYLE THE NATION
Caffeine has been consumed for over 23,000 years, dating back to 2737BC when the Chinese emperor Shen Nung boiled bush leaves in water to produce, debatably, the first ever pot of tea. Some twelve centuries later, a shepherd in Ethiopia took note of the increased energy his goats had when consuming coffee berries, giving way to his own consumption and elation with the enlightenment he attained when consuming coffee beans. Today, eight percent of the world’s population consumes at least one caffeinated beverage a day, thus producing one of the largest industries in the world. When queried, most people will explain that caffeine is “���������� ����������� what gets me up in the morning��”���� ��� or “������������� �������������� is my savior come exam time��������������������� ”�������������������� , but does caffeine truly increase our mental performance? Could we equal our intellectual output regardless of caffeine intake? Furthermore, could we be putting our health at risk in an attempt to create a sense of heightened ‘awareness’ that may be nothing more than the placebo effect? To answer such questions we must first examine any physiological affects caffeine has when ingested. Scientists discovered years ago that caffeine closely resembles adenosine, a naturally occurring protein in our bodies known to down-regulate brain activity that helps us sleep. Caffeine blocks adenosine from performing its sedative effects on the brain. The presence of caffeine promotes increased neuron firing,
producing more alertness and hyper activity in the brain. Thus, it appears caffeine does in fact have a tremendous effect on our bodies and drastically enhances our mental alertness. Just because we have increased mental performance doesn’t mean caffeine is good for us. Caffeinated beverages are associated with side affects that range from headaches, nausea, anxiety and panic attacks, to more serious complications involving heart disease, as well as contributing to obesity and symptoms of addiction. Considering that we may take caffeine to aid us during stressful times, anxiety and panic could be compounded by caffeine consumption, leaving us far less productive. Further, our caffeine-containing drinks are often paired with sugars and fatty milks, which have been linked to the present obesity epidemics sweeping the nation. The good news is that most, if not all, of the associated negative impacts of caffeine can be managed by monitoring your intake levels and avoiding or minimising adding sugars and fats. The suggested daily intake of caffeine is roughly 400 mg/day. Your average cup of coffee, tea or energy drink has approximately 200, 75, and 150 mg of caffeine respectively. Therefore, in theory, a healthy dose would consist of 2 cups of coffee, 5 cups of tea or 3 red bulls in a given day. Of course, individual tolerances will vary greatly. Now, once you have established
DEAR CAFFEINE: I love you, but do you feel the same way? your caffeine intake strategies, you can take solace in the wonderful benefits of caffeine for your health. In addition to enhanced mental performance and mood, caffeine has been shown to aid in reducing the prevalence of certain cancers, preventing liver disease and has even been suggested as a supplemental treatment for Parkinsons and Alzheimers disease. Contrary to conventional belief, caffeine intake has been suggested as a solution to the obe-
AHMED RABEA
Tyson Ruetz addresses one of our country's accepted addictions
sity epidemic. As caffeine increases our metabolic rate, researchers suggest that drinking caffeine daily, without sugar or milk, could burn off enough calories to curb the average annual weight gain observed in citizens of the us. The best method is to enjoy our coffee and tea in moderation, but perhaps eliminate the use of sugar and milk, or at least use alternatives like honey and low fat milk, and steer clear of high sugar content energy drinks.
Soup, glorious soup Lilidh Kendrick shows us how to get cosy with a big hug in a mug Tex Mex Lentil Soup
Ingredients: 2 onions, chopped 1 carrot, peeled and grated 1 stalk celery, finely chopped 2 green chillies, finely chopped Olive oil 2 tbsp fajita seasoning ½ tsp ground cumin 75g red lentils 400ml vegetable stock 400g tin chopped tomatoes Soured cream, to serve Tabasco sauce, to serve Tortilla chips, to serve
Ingredients: 30ml olive oil 15g butter 1 medium onion, roughly chopped 3 courgettes, sliced 1 tsp dried oregano 600ml vegetable stock 115g dolcelatte cheese, diced 300ml single cream Salt and black pepper
Heat the oil and butter in a pan. Add the chopped onion and cook gently for about 5 mins, stirring frequently, until
the onion is softened. Add the courgettes and oregano, with salt and pepper to taste. Cook over a medium heat for 10 mins, Pour in the stock and bring to the boil. Lower the heat, half cover the pan and simmer gently for about 30 mins. Stir in the dolcelatte, and blend until smooth. Add two thirds of the cream and stir over a low heat until hot, but not boiling. Add some more stock if the soup is too thick. Pour into bowls and swirl in the remaining cream. To finish, give it a garnish of fresh oregano sprigs and a few cubes of dolcelatte.
Cook the onion, carrot, celery and chillies over a gentle heat in a splash of oil until softened. Add the fajita seasoning and cumin and cook for a minute. Tip in the lentils, tomatoes and 400ml of stock. Simmer for 30 minutes or until the veg and lentils are tender. Briefly blend the soup. Season, and then serve in bowls with a bit of soured cream, a dash of Tabasco and a mountain of tortilla chips on the side. Courgette and Dolcelatte Soup Another favourite winter warmer is a rich and creamy courgette and dolcelatte soup. Don’t be afraid of the strong cheese, the flavour doesn’t overpower – rather it helps to achieve a wonderfully velvety texture.
IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN: But it is delicious!
LILIDH KENDRICK
Whether we like it or not, winter is creeping up on us. The signs are everywhere – red cups in Starbucks, fur coats on the streets of Edinburgh and even talk of snow before the month is out. I know that all I want to do at this time of year is stay indoors, wrap up warm and sit down to a bowl of something comforting and delicious. Many of the dishes we think of as ‘winter warmers’, like pies and hearty stews, are associated with meat. As a vegetarian, people often ask how I fill myself up in the winter without resorting to a constant carb-fest. While many of my friends say that they would have no problem going meat-free during the summer months, when it comes to winter, there’s no arguing with them – food is fuel and meat is considered essential insulation. It’s true; a Greek salad is definitely not going to sustain me through the long wintry months. My solution to this is soup. Wonderful, hearty soups are my go-to winter warming meal and the perfect antidote to a cold day spent in a chilly lecture theatre. I know some people struggle to see soup as a proper meal, but trust me, the following recipes are wonderfully satisfying, easy to make and can be tailored to suit your own tastes. The first, a Mexican twist on the classic lentil soup, will add some spice into your life and heat up those winter days.
One month ago something amazing happened, something that changed everything. I found my first British charity shop in Vienna. As a bona fide chazza hermit, I almost wept with joy; I was Christopher Columbus and I’d just found my America. To me, there is little better than finding a diamond in the rough, a must-have piece amidst piles of odd looking knitwear and '90s cast-offs. Oh, the sheer, unprecedented joy of being able to tell people that the nice pair of jeans I’m wearing did not cost £40 from Topshop but in fact were £1.27 from Save the Children! Just thinking about it makes me giddy. What I found though, on that blissful Tuesday afternoon, was that it wasn’t the bargains I missed, but the fashion. Fashion, it would seem, does not translate. Dressing well here is dressing properly, all buttoned up and twin sets with barely there makeup and hair in plaits. Even the generic High Street shops have a depressingly limited variety, with about two items out of a hundred being on trend. As a UK export myself, I can testify that an appreciation of British sense of style is entirely off the table. What, in Britain, is considered 'sexy', in Austria is considered 'slutty'. If you wear heels, you’re a hooker; if you show some cleavage, you’re asking for it, and good God, let us not even get started on the subject of ‘quirky’ fashion – wearing my tartan cigarette pants on a Saturday night encouraged not only several laughs and sniggers, but plenty of concerned looks that somebody had ‘let me out’. It was only when they heard me talk that they were satisfied, departing with conclusions that I was from Britain, and that everything made sense after all. An old lady on the train once stopped me to tell me my legs were too long to sit down “in zat dress” whilst another politely informed me that laddered tights were entirely unacceptable in public; Viennese affrontation with personal style makes a long and endless list. Rather depressingly, finding 'the London look' in Vienna seems about as likely as finding a pork chop in a synagogue. Messy, bed-head chic is not something they will ever buy into, nor is unashamed glamour or downright sex appeal. Thus once a week, like some junkie satisfying their fix, I religiously tuck myself away in a little shop sandwiched between a pawn brokers and a key cutting specialist, with odd looking carpets and even odder looking staff. Red lipstick on and brogues-a-pacin’, I tuck myself away, trawl through rails and think of England. Francesca Larcombe
Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper ������� ��� ��� �������� ����������������� ��� ��� ��������� ��� ���������������������������������� tech@studentnewspaper.org ���������������������������
oliver ninnis
Tuesday November 8 2011 �������� ��������� �� ������� studentnewspaper.org
Dying to be enjoyed Orcs must die! Robot Studios PC,360,PS3 £11
Not every game has to be flashy, or even original, in order to succeed at delighting whoever plays it; the game simply has to be fun. This is perhaps how Orcs Must Die! can seem to pander to the lowest common denominator of taste, whist simultaneously confounding expectations and delivering a singularly pure and satisfying experience.
“
For a game to acknowledge its own absurdity and revel in it is utterly carthartic" The setting for Orcs Must Die! is, unsurprisingly, rather daft. You play as a war-mage charged with defending portals from a horde of monstrous Orcs. As you might expect with the title ‘Orcs must Die!’, the game is completely self aware of its ridiculous premise and presents itself with more than a hint of tongue-in-cheek good
humour. This is perhaps one of Orcs Must Die!’s most subtle strengths; when games like Gears of War or Call of Duty demand to be taken seriously, despite the fact that they feature stupid settings, stupid plots and even more stupid characters, for a game to acknowledge its own absurdity and revel in it is utterly cathartic. The charm of the game's premise is augmented by it’s presentation, which is reminiscent of children’s films like Hercules, only with a slightly greater emphasis on humour and parody. The process of dispatching of the eponymous orcs involves the trap-based puzzles that define the tower defence genre. Orcs advance though a series of tunnels attempting to reach a portal while the war-mage must use spells to deploy traps which either slow or incapacitate green-skins before they reach their objective. Traps come in a variety of forms, with different traps suiting different situations. A spring board, for example, is useful if the orcs are near a pit, as the springboard will catapult them down into oblivion. If traps prove insufficient, players can also attack orcs directly using either the war-mage's sword or crossbow, which, while simple, are ultimately rewarding to use. This reward comes from
LOOKING THE WRONG WAY: This is probably not going to end well the weapons' deliberate limitations. For example, in using the crossbow, players need to aim for head shots and wait between shots to maintain accuracy and achieve the best results, rather than just erratically mashing the buttons. This combination of direct combat with the use of devices offers players a great deal of creativity as to how they accomplish their task, and experimentation is more often rewarded than punished. This creative challenge
Over-populated?
of building your system of traps is married with the crude satisfaction of watching mobs of green monsters being violently slain by your contraptions. What makes this mass slaughter even more satisfying is the design of the Orcs, who look aggressive and menacing, yet contemptibly stupid in a way which garners absolutely no sympathy upon their inevitable demise. Orcs Must Die! is a simple game, it doesn’t have an elaborate story or
Peter Bishop examines the implications of 7 billion people living on earth resources. Recent years have seen substantial global shortages of food and water. While this has meant a 10 pence increase in bread prices for most UK citizens, it has meant starvation and malnutrition for individuals in less prosperous countries.
“ METROPOLIS: As the population grows, so will our cities On October 31, a girl born in Manila was declared the 7 billionth living human. Of course with the world population fluctuating on a minute by minute basis, it is impossible to know if Danica May Camacho is truly the landmark child.
wikipedia
Feeding this eventual population will require 70% more food than is currently being produced"
The UN, however, decided to select her, along with a handful of others to act as a symbol of a population milestone. Of course, this news only serves to highlight the ever increasing global population and the strain it places on our environment and natural
According to estimates by the UN, the world's population will eventually plateau at 9.2 billion. The theory behind this estimate is that couples in developed countries typically have few children whilst couples from developing countries have many children. As such, it is expected that the global population will have fewer children on average as developing countries gain access to higher standards of living. Feeding this eventual population will require 70% more food than is currently being produced, which many view as an impossible strain on natural
resources. Renowned TV presenter David Attenborough is one of today’s best known advocates for aggressive population control, stating that he had "never seen a problem that wouldn’t be easier to solve with fewer people, or harder, and ultimately impossible, with more”. He explores the issues around this topic in one of his BBC documentaries, entitled, How Many People Can Live on Planet Earth?. His proposed solution, rather than a strict law against having too many children, is to ensure that men and women in developing countries have access to education and contraception that will encourage them to have fewer children. This is not the first time that the threat of overpopulation has emerged. In 1968, American biologist Paul R. Ehrlich predicted there would be global famine throughout the '70s and '80s due to overpopulation and proposed the population be brought down to 1.5 billion. In hindsight, Ehrlich’s predictions look somewhat ridiculous; after all, his predicted global famine never occurred and for decades since 1968 the Earth's population rapidly increased with many affluent countries suffering more from obesity than starvation. This is due to the massive
Robot Studios
Tom Hasler finds himself won over by the simple charms of Orcs Must Die!
even an original design, but ultimately this only serves to augment the game's appeal. There is no need to commit a serious amount of time to the game – you’ll enjoy it for however long you choose to play it, and considering that Orcs Must Die! isn’t priced or marketed as a blockbuster game, it won’t leave you feeling robbed. What is perhaps even better is the fact that the game never tries to prove itself and never tries to be anything other than simple fun.
increase in global food production produced by the green revolution - a massive modernisation of agriculture that involved several initiatives including the use of artificial fertiliser, the development of higher yielding crops and modern irrigation techniques that increased global food production by over 250%. This robs a degree of credibility from the modern population crisis; the last apparent population crisis never came and the current food and water shortages may simply be solved by a second green revolution. While there is certainly potential to enhance the productivity of our farms, it may be impossible to produce significantly larger amounts of food as all agricultural activity consumes vast amounts of fresh water which itself is already scarce in many parts of the world. Regardless of how the problem is solved, whether it be through the gentle encouragement to use contraception, or innovation in our agriculture, the one thing that cannot be done is for world leaders to ignore the issue. While Ehrlich may have been wrong about his predicted global famine, the consequences catastrophe he described are harrowing nonetheless.
Tarot Card Timothy is
a Level 7 mage on World of Warcraft. However, he is also highly proficient in the dark arts of snap, pontoon, and rummy. When he’s not gazing into your future, he stays up late at night playing online poker and trying on snazzy waistcoats. Don't mention his visor.
Aries
While refilling your fountain pen with ink, you notice that ‘Quink’ is an amalgamation of the words ‘quick’ and ‘ink.’ You literally fall off your chair, bowled over by the startling ingenuity of product names in our modern world.
Taurus
This week you really can’t get enough squash! You drink squash, play squash, eat butternut squash, squash a baby. Yeah you get arrested for that. Nice one.
Gemini
You spend this week chillin’, relaxin’, and maxin’ all cool with your BFF, Puff Daddy, in the Golan Heights. After all, what are reading weeks for?
Cancer
You make it to your Thursday morning classes with a raging hangover, only to learn that the subject of the lecture is haemorrhoids, fistulas, and perianal abscesses. You suppress the urge to chunder everywhere until the lecturer ends the session with a picture quiz.
Leo
This week you go clubbing – seal clubbing! Mwahahahaha. You are punished by karma and transmogrify into an extra on Downton Abbey. Not one of those posh ladies who are always eating breakfast and cucumber sandwiches either. Oh no, you’re the chimney sweep.
Virgo
You walk through the meadows and stumble across a Level 3 Pidgeot, you try to pass but it insists that you fight it. Awkward. Lucky that you always keep your pokéballs handy!
News in Numbers
Libra
You see your ex-girlfriend on the TV while watching Embarrassing Bodies – you shout to all of your flatmates to come and see! The joke’s on you though when that hunky blond twat tells her that she has syphilis. Trololololz.
Scorpio
You spend Saturday night maccin’ on the freshers at Big Cheese. While chatting up one fitty, you play it cool and drop into the conversation that you have a 2:1 in Business Studies. She is totally lapping it up – this could go anywhere!
Sagittarius
Some 4th year prick called Barry ruins your night out in Potterrow. You try to give him the hint but he keeps following you and gawping at your slutty wellies, bragging about his shitty 2:1 in Business Studies - I mean wtf is that?!
Capricorn
Your best mate collects your coffee order for you but she picks up a latte instead of your usual americano. You calmly suppress your initial rage and reach the inevitable rational conlusion: you murder them in their sleep and dispose of the body in Leith canal.
����������������� Tuesday November �� 8 ������� 2011 studentnewspaper.org
17
Cowell’s an Eager Bieber
Cowell signs record deal with Bieber’s unborn foetus for undisclosed sum. Simon Cowell, the wisecracking X Factor judge, has signed a top-secret record deal with the unborn child of pop singer Justin Bieber, Herring can exclusively reveal. The deal signals a move by Cowell both to snatch up the latest piece of Bieberlicious talent and to target younger and younger audiences. “This opportunity came to move into the prenatal market and I just couldn’t turn it down,” said Cowell. “Baby Bieber’s going to be cute and there’s a possibility that he’ll be able to sing.”
“
The only thing he's [Bieber's] impregnated is the music industry... with his catchy beats and feel-good pop vibes." The deal has come despite warnings from music industry experts that foeti do not have ears. “Of course I know that technically
Ni B ews n
rief
foeti have pretty terrible hearing, but people are forgetting that this is the child of Mr Bieber. If anything, no ears will be an advantage for my foeti public” said Cowell. The music is rumoured to be largely drum’n’bass in order to penetrate the amniotic sac. However, it will target audiences at all stages of prenatal development and encompass all musical genres. Possible new markets could include gamete gangsta rap, oocyte old school, spermatozoa skiffle, blastocyte blues, and embryo electronica. Cowell is excited about the birth. "Although I've tried, unfortunately I'm unable to breast feed. So I've purchased myself a rather fetching strap-on mammary gland. I in-
tend to feed Baby Biebs the milk I secretly harvested from Cheryl on our recent tour of Latvia." D a d d y Bieber’s press machine rolled into action to deny the existence of the unborn child, saying: “The only thing he’s impregnated is the music i n d u s t r y… with his catchy beats and feelgood pop vibes. “Besides, it’s clear he hasn’t reached puberty. That’s just fucking obvious… "Pers o n a l l y, I blame H u g h Grant for being a poor role model.”
Quirky logo (left) alienates readers “Herring went too far this week. I felt alone and cold, even in my wool." said one loyal and VERY regular reader.
Salmond Admits Scottish Independence plan is ‘so impractical it’s funny’ “The only wind potential Scotland has comes from its affinity for a good curry,” laughed Salmond, who had us all going for a while back there.
Which biscuit best represents your views on the welfare state? Herring spoke to five idiots. Shortbread
jaffa cakes
“I vote SNP obvz."
(Ed. clearly not a biscuit. Disqualified!)
Aquarius
You incur a fine of £0.72 for overdue books at the HUB; the old lady at the helpdesk says you can pay up anytime. You shout at her, "fat chance!" and swagger out of the library. THUG LIFE
Pisces
You take the advice of the careers service and drop out of uni to join the Insane Clown Posse.
50 3
Oliver ninnis
No one reads these bits anyway herring.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
Hobnob
Plain digestive
Penguin Bar
“The oaty goodness and high
“Nothing illustrates my Presbyterian
"Their quirky sense of fun appeals
fibre content mirrors my strong
beliefs more than this miserable
to my left-leaning stance on the
community values”
specimen of an afternoon snack”
distribution of economic wealth."
The number of years left before overly-intensive fishing renders the phrase 'there are plenty more fish in the sea,' obsolete for consoling heartbroken friends. The number of things in the world that Tesco doesn't sell. I've heard they even do Bar Mitzvahs.
4
1,000
The number of stripes something needs to be considered 'stripey'. The number of Yorkshire Puddings in Yorkshire. And by Puddings I mean ugly, doughy, obese people who look like puddings. And by Yorkshire, I mean Yorkshire.
rEVIEW
COMMISSION #9: daisy azis
Daisy Azis is a 4th year BA Performance Costume student. Her work investigates narratives within garments, and she aims to challenge conventional ideas of dress in a sculptural way.This drawing is based on a brief which deals with The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter. Azis looked at gothic architecture, and the idea of juxtaposing beauty and horror. This illustration shows a costume devised for a dead wife that Carter’s protagonist finds in a secret chamber belonging to her husband. For the character, Azis looked at ways of incorporating sound into the garments, what she terms as ����������������� “���������������� a kind of aural embroidery��� ”��. For more of Daisy's work visit: www.daisyazis.tumblr.com
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper culture.thestudent@gmail.com
20 Culture
Don't stop the show
Thom Louis� witnesses the birth of a musical in Pleasance with Showstopper! The Improvised Musical
I
mprovised comedy is difficult. Scratch that, improv is really difficult. There are few people who can stand up on stage and be consistently funny with no script, direction or provocation. On the other hand, creating a catchy and impressive song on the spot is almost impossible. Nearly no one can come up with lyrics, harmonies and rhythm off the tops of their heads. Showstopper! are an improv troupe that can not only do both of these things well, but meld them together seamlessly.
The framing device for the show is simple but effective. A musical writer, portrayed by Sean McCann, has an idea that has been rejected by the producer and in a panic claims he has a totally new musical waiting to replace it. Un-
••••••••••• James Tait•••Black
Memorial Prize Teviot Run Ended
THE BOOK CLUB
L
ast Thursday, the English Literature Department launched the James Tait Black Memorial Prize, celebrating its 250th anniversary. The grant consists of two prizes, each of £10,000, which are awarded annually to the best work of fiction and biography. The James Tait Black Prize is unique in that it is judged solely within an academic community. Within the University’s English Literature department, members of the senior staff determine the winning authors from the shortlist. These judges are assisted by a ‘reading panel’ comprising of PhD candidates and postgraduate students. However, in celebration of the award’s anniversary, the English Literature department and its student-led society organised a Best of James Tait Black
THE BOOK CLUB
THE BOOK CLUB
OPEN WIDE: The cast of Showstopper! show off their impressive mouth-opening skills fortunately, he doesn’t. The audience are asked to think of a location, a title, and various musical writers for the players to
••••
Immaculate Bedlam Theate Run Ended
he premise THETBOOK CLUBof this play based on an immaculate conception in the
Oona Haas
Farrar, Straus and Giroux £8.99
danielle malinen
perform in their on-the-spot musical. This night’s musical was set in a Belgian detective agency and was called, appro-
award. The entire student body was encouraged to••vote ••• amongst the winning works from the past century. Professor Randall Stevenson, Edinburgh professor and former prize judge, served as chair for this symposium. The panel-oriented discussion ranged from both sides of the literary spectrum, from the creative insight of a novelist to the critical commentary of Dr Lee Spinks, senior lecturer and current judge. Francis Bickmore, senior editor at Canongate Books, and postgraduate reader Samantha Walton also served on the panel. The discussion was as erudite as it was engaging. Posed with Stevenson’s astute questions, this bookish collective succeeded in walking us through the award’s process as well as its role within the world of publishing. The evening concluded with questions from the floor; many of which pertained to the future of publishing and were thus directed toward Mr Bickmore.
The Marriage Plot
THE BOOK CLUB
courtesy Critereon Theatre
“
There is a reason that Showstopper! have been praised as one of the top improv groups in the country. The wholeTHE experience is BOOK CLUB massively polished"
I
n its jacket, The Marriage Plot places itself at Brown University in the early '80s where Ivy-League kids are "inhaling Derrida" and absorbing all things New Wave. However, those who are familiar with post-structuralism may argue that inhalation is a poor metaphor to use for one’s experience with the French critic’s notoriously impenetrable work. But fear not, Jeffrey Eugenides is well aware that many of us would trudge through semiotic theory, similar to his character Madeleine Hanna.
21st century is one that holds the potential for endless hilarity; this potential was seized in Bedlam’s production of Immaculate. The range of religious puns, along with the religious jokes - 5 apples are good for your digestive system anyway, stated Lucifer - were executed perfectly and left the audience in howls of laughter throughout. At times this enthusiastic response was unexpected; there were points where the actors continued to speak over the noise, but it would be bold to say that the continuity of the play was disrupted by this. The casting was perfect. Fiona Longmuir’s Mia had a feisty Scottish
THE BOOK CLUB
Madeleine is an English major and lover of Victorian literature. However, she finds herself enrolled in Semiotics 211 where she is introduced to the likes of Lyotard, Foucault, and the aforementioned Derrida. There she also meets Leonard who she ends up falling in love with. Semiotics 211 only seems to reaffirm her love for the "realist" narratives of Henry James and the almost formulaic novels of Austen that indisputably end in marriages. In fact, Madeleine feels inclined to write her senior thesis on ‘the marriage plot’ as a literary device. The Marriage Plot predominantly concerns itself with three characters: Madeleine, the bookish ingénue who acutely resembles a heroine of an Austen novel, Leonard, the taciturn stoic with a knack for biology, and Mitchell, the bright divinity scholar who em-
THE BOOK CLUB
priately, Waffles! There is a reason that Showstopper! have been praised as one of the top imattitude that juxtaposed with the softly spoken American Archangel Gabriel. The messenger attempted to convince others of God’s existence in a friendly manner, slightly resembling that of the Christian Union. The angel opposed the smooth-talking, sunglasses wearing suaveness of Lucifer who, although at first appeared to be the definition of cool, resorted to petty squabbling with Gabriel fairly quickly.
“
prov groups in the country. The whole experience is extremely polished. Every performer is comically inventive and a genuine joy to watch. Not only this, but all of them are musically breathtaking. These performers can not only make up a catchy song on the spot but can make up a perfect five-part harmony. Even the lyrics created from nothing are intelligent and witty. Pippa Evans, famous for her performances on Fast and Loose, was particularly worthy of praise. Her creativity with lyrics, her stage presence and brilliant voice were all highlights of the show. The problems with Showstopper! in no way stem from the performers, but from the framing device itself. At various points in the show McCann would stand up to give direction to the performers. Despite this being necessary at times to keep the show moving, often the interruptions broke the flow. If the performers had been allowed slightly more leniency then the musical and the troupe would both have been even more effective. Overall, Showstopper! are definitely a troupe worth seeing, if only to gawp at the skill behind what they create. audience. The sound remained tight throughout. The comic tone of the play changed abruptly towards the end, where the real-life implications of the second coming were examined. This prompted a dark monologue from the protagonist considering various methods of suicide. This was lightened by an interlude from the four-member masked chorus, who at the start of the play seemed serious but ended up as an elaborately gesturing, colloquially speaking quartet - even being asked by Mia why they were speaking in rhyming couplets. The climax of the play was equally dark. The betrayal of trust by a minor character, leading to helicopters circling the flat and news stations reporting the location of the unborn child of God, left the play on a thought-provoking note. Considering religion and Christianity are delicate subjects for many, Immaculate avoided controversy, whilst maintaining a clever and well performed level of comedy throughout. Olivia Kashti
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••• ••• ••••• ••• •••••••
The comic tone of the play changed abrubtly towards the end, where the reallife implications of the second coming were examined."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ••••• •••••••••••••• ••••••• •• ••••••• ••••••••••••••••••• As far as creating a 20 year old’s flat was concerned, the set was ideal. •••••••••••••• The lighting ••••••••••••••• proved its sophistication, turning the set into a pumpin’ nightclub and giving each character••••• their •••••••••••••• • ••••••••••• chance to address a soliloquy to the ••••••••••••••••• barks on a reflective journey to India. ing to the English canon. However, at These characters find themselves in the archetypal romantic pickle: the love triangle.
“
Throughout the novel, Eugenides provides an intimate perspective into the characters lives during their vunerable postgrad years." Throughout the novel, Eugenides provides an intimate perspective into these characters' lives during their vulnerable post-grad years while self-consciously playing with the conventions of the novel, specifically those belong-
the same time, there is an unavoidable undertone of topical irony within The Marriage Plot. As Mitchell embarks on his trip in the hopes of ‘bypassing’ America’s dawning recession, some may struggle to suppress a cynical giggle. Oona Haas
Our next Book Club read will be Peace, Love & Petrol Bombs by D.D. Johnston. If you Book have anyread thoughts on will be it,Our or next on The ArtClub of Fielding, email It Happened on the Way to War, by culture.thestudent@gmail.com Rye Barcott. and let us know! If you have any thoughts on it, or The Marriage Plot, email culture. thestudent@gmail.com and let us know!
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
Culture 21 21 Star Rating Immaculate conception On the honeymoon In bed In a public toilet I didn't even know I was pregant
A noble craft
ROYGBIV This week's cultural spectrum.
James Albon delves into the crafty world of Dovecot Gallery's latest exhibition
T
he question of craft and art has always been an interesting one. Since the advent of modernism at the start of the last century, contemporary art has largely shifted its focus away from traditional, manual skills; most big names in western art tend to work on almost purely conceptual pieces, while many see traditional craft as being of less importance. Dovecot’s Craft in Dialogue exhibition goes some way to even the balance. It shows 27 Scottish makers who have won the Inches Carr Trust bursaries, working in everything from jewellery and silversmithing
DR MARIGOLD AND MR CHOPS King's Theatre Until 5 November
M
onologues are notoriously difficult to do well. Their reliance on a single individual to keep an audience engaged for the duration of a show is a huge test of a performer’s skill and acting ability. However, Simon Callow is no stranger to the one-man play. A return to familiar territory following his somewhat controversial Fringe performance, Dr Marigold and Mr Chops illustrates once again that Callow is a master
to stonecarving, glass and ceramics. It’s certainly a broad exhibition, and without a doubt it’s a real credit to the Trust themselves in supporting such a range of different practitioners in technique, research and travel. On a technical level alone, the virtuosic ability of the makers is hypnotically inspiring and enthralling, and the presentation makes it appealing for experienced craftspeople and the uninitiated alike. With plenty of diversity for different tastes, it raises some interesting questions about the nature storyteller. A play of two stories: the first is a tale of a dwarf by the name of Mr Chops, whose luck with the lottery provides him with the place in society he has so desperately craved; the second is of a travelling salesman named Dr Marigold, who adopts a little deaf and dumb girl. First to strike the eye is a stunning set that is decadent yet derelict, with long, red, velvet curtains draped behind tables of cobwebbed trinkets. Amongst the bric-a-brac, Callow takes to the stage and at once has the audience enraptured. Dickens is often criticised for the long-windedness of his writing, yet Callow manages to
courtesy of dovecot gallery
CRAFTED WARCRAFT : Alison Kinnaird's (MBE) Soldiers currently on display as part of Dovecot Gallery's Craft in Dialogue
T
of what is important in craft and making. It would be impossible to come out of an exhibition like this without a personal list of likes and dislikes, and I feel this in itself is an important facet of the show too; leaving the viewer asking questions about what they consider important in making and what the common thread of value in contemporary craft might be. On a broader level the show raises interesting questions too: craft in general isn’t to everybody’s taste, and there are plenty of contemporary art purists who might shun the idea
of craft and applied art as something lowbrow and technical. Nonetheless I would recommend it, simply for showing such beautiful contemporary artefacts in a thought-provoking context, which challenges the likes of Tony Cragg or Ingrid Calame from the other end of the Edinburgh spectrum. Whatever you might feel coming out of it, it is worth having the provocation to ask yourself again how work like this stands in a broader cultural framework. Definitely worth a visit if you want to challenge your artistic values.
deliver the text with a universal accessibility that is immediately apparent.
naturally entail one’s overall happiness; a factor which Mr Chops only realises when it is too late. Dr Marigold, on the other hand, is remarkable in the way it is delivered through sales talk, with a narrative explained by deals and exchanges. Once again, this is a story which has an emphasis on society, this time looking at a disabled person’s place within it. What Dr Marigold and Mr Chops iterates is heartwarming stories with an underlying poignancy that can teach us a lot about our own lives. Whilst not perfect, this is a brilliant way to ease oneself into the world of Dickens. Ali Quaile
“
Callow takes to the stage and at once has the audience enraptured." The tales themselves are interesting in the way they point to injustices in society that are equally applicable today. Mr Chops is powerful in the way it illustrates the exploitation of celebrity, where a person can still be used and discarded when they are no longer beneficial to others. It focuses on how one’s place in society doesn’t
THE ART DOCTOR with Anna Feintuck
H
ow about using your watch? Seriously – work out, realistically, what time you need to leave to get places on time, and how long everything you need to do between then and now will take. Work backwards: ten minutes to walk to class, two min-
Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.
Melissa Geere
The King's Theatre will be putting on Ena Lamont Stewart's Men Should Weep: a portrayal of the terrible poverty suffered by those living in Glaswegian tenament buildings in the 1930s, running from the 8th - 12th of November.
tivate you to get on with things. A life spent chasing deadlines - or trains - is not as fulfilled as it could be. On a slightly more abstract level, to reinforce what I said about working backwards to get out of the house on time, have a look at Vija Celmin’s series of monochromatic images, Night Sky in Reverse (1 and 2). These works are based around photographic negatives, and their clarity is intense and startling. Be inspired: clarity and punctuality go hand in hand.
EUTC are putting on Caucasian Chalk Circle , also running from the 8th -12th.
HOLLY JAMESON
I am late for everything. Only ever about ten minutes late, but consistently and frustratingly so. No matter what time I get up, I end up running to my lectures, begging the school secretaries not to mark my essays late, disappointing my friends, and missing trains. What can I do? I’ve got a watch already, before you say it.
utes to put your coat and boots on (or buy slip ons), fifteen minutes to find your notebook under piles of clothes, and so on. Be honest with yourself. Having a shower and getting dressed always seems like it should only take two or three minutes, right? But it rarely does. My personal Achilles’ heel with this is breakfast – no matter how hard I try - or what I make - it’s always about half an hour. I am a cereal dawdler. So calculate where you’re losing time, and allow for it. Now for the art. I’m going to go for two separate tactics here. The first is obvious: time. The hour-glass and clock in Pieter Roestraeten’s Still-life with Musical Instruments represent the transience of life and should mo-
here was outcry in Archway, London this week as residents noticed that a famous Banksy mural, Hitchhiker to Anywhere, has been defaced. Banksy’s work is appreciated by critics as ‘street art’, glossing over the fact that it too is an act of vandalism, is illegal and is something that others are still punished for doing. But why does Banksy’s paint have more of a right to be on that wall than another’s? Banksy doesn’t own the walls he paints on. Unlike a traditional canvas, they are already owned. In July this year, Bristol residents and council members alike reacted with fury at an owner’s decision to whitewash his wall which contained Gorilla in a Pink Mask by Banksy. The owner explained “I thought it was worthless”, and the council has since looked into spending thousands to restore the piece. It is interesting to note that two other stencilled pieces on the same wall have not been mentioned, and will not, I assume, be restored along with their famous neighbour. It just goes to show that people’s attitudes to vandalism have not been changed by the pioneering work of Banksy and other artists. Instead, his work has become something to be protected against vandalism or unwitting destruction. Would it be acceptable if an artist who was ‘better’ than Banksy defaced the piece? Established rival street artist King Robbo and his team are locked in a war with ‘Team Banksy’: both go out and deface each others’ work. King Robbo himself once defaced Hitchhiker to Anywhere, changing the sign to read “nowhere” instead of “anywhere”. His adjustment, arguably an artistic statement in itself (it could even be considered a discourse between the artists), was short-lived; the original was carefully restored. Graffiti is a medium where the classic questions of “who owns art?” and “what constitutes art?” are strikingly relevant. But it seems people still want to apply traditional ideas about the sanctity of a master’s original work to this modern, anti-establishment form.
Look oot for...
This week: timekeeping, new shoes and a nice, clear mind. Dear Art Doctor,
Graffiti wars
The Royal Scottish Academy have been exhibiting works from the RSA collection since July, and will continue to until January. MUSE: A Search for Beauty examines the portrayal of the feminine in art, and promises to be an intriguing insight into historical perceptions of women.
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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22 Film
La Fête du Cinéma
PROVING A POINT: Who said siamese twins couldn't have fun? iven that we’re the furthest away G from our Gallic neighbours, Scotland may not seem the most
likely candidate to take the lead in the UK’s French Film Festival. Despite the geographical gap, however, Scotland boasts nine out of the twelve locations whose cinemas will host the festival, including Edinburgh’s
Straw Dogs Directed by Rob Lurie bear trap hangs over the remake A of Straw Dogs and not just as the murder weapon it’s used for. An
intellectual, David ( James Marsden), moves back to his wife, Amy’s (Kate Bosworth) hick hometown only to be provoked by the violent locals (led by Alexander Skarsgard) who rape Amy and make him realise his own potential for violence. The original was dangerous and emotionally taut as a trap, but the remake lets it snap without real thought. The setting has been moved from Cornwall to Mississippi. Even the fic-
Machine gun preacher Directed by marc forster achine Gun Preacher is a story of M redemption, just don’t blink, or you might miss the redemption part.
Gerard Butler plays Sam Childers, a violent biker and hard drug addict who miraculously finds God and turns his life around by travelling to Africa to save children living in the war torn Sudan. For the most part, the story is gripping and does justice to the film’s title with equal parts shooting and preaching. Butler delivers a strong performance and always seems pretty at home in roles where he’s the tough bad guy with a softer side.
Filmhouse. The French Film Festival, which begins this week and runs until December 6, was established in Scotland and thus explains its bias towards Scottish venues. It is now in its nineteenth year and appears to be going from strength to strength. The festival demonstrates a broad scope, with work
coming not only from France but also other French-speaking countries such as Quebec, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Belgium. Festival director Richard Mowe believes, “it is going to be a vintage year for the French Film Festival UK, which augurs well for 2012 when we will celebrate two decades of bringing the crême de la crème of French-
tional town’s name, Blackwater, a reference to the Doobie Brothers’ anthem, is an ode to Southern stereotypes. David seems as horrified by deep-fried pickles as of the locals who consider ogling women and bar brawls hobbies. Yet this is not the first time that the Deep South is portrayed as a deeply backwards culture that equates football with God, and due to our comparison with similar films, director Rod Lurie has to try particularly hard to find something more horrifying. Deliverance comes to mind, but executes the concept of the fine line between civilised man and homicidal maniac much more astutely. Lurie has to rely on convoluted subplots commenting on sex, violence and machismo with dubious conclusions. This opaqueness could be transcended by his actors, who need to pile up as much
moral ambiguity as they do corpses as the original did. However, Marsden is too bland to make his transformation from condescending brainiac to brutal killer intriguing. Skarsgard needs to be the right mix of compelling and calculating and is almost too good at this role, as we realise he actually has more chemistry with Bosworth as her rapist than Marsden does as her husband. Bosworth strikes the perfect balance of a woman waging war against her Southern principles and personal principles. She effectively turns her character into more than just a victim. Nevertheless, we become the victim of a haphazard and totally unnecessary film. There is no reason for a moral pot boiler like this to be remade, and as a result, it’s merely tepid.
The problem with Machine Gun Preacher is that Childers’ transformation from an abusive alcoholic to the savior of the Sudan is far too sudden. Indeed, his subsequent transitions from conviction, to doubt, to greater conviction, to greater doubt, and finally… even greater conviction regarding God and his cause in Africa, all happen far too quickly and don’t feel as convincing as a result. This is perhaps the inevitable problem of making a film based on a real-life person where a story that happens over a period of years has to be compressed into two hours. Multiple scenes and characters seem incomplete and exist simply to enhance the story of Childers’ one-man crusade against evil. The moral lesson of the film, is that we in Western society take our wealth and comfortable lives for granted, and
generally choose to ignore the plight of those in living in Africa who are not quite as fortunate as us. While the guilt trip Marc Foster enthusiastically serves up to audiences is just as transparent as the ignorant characters that refuse to give Childers money in the film, overall, as an effort to raise awareness and a call to action, Machine Gun Preacher is a success. In the end, there are times when the movie does feel more like it’s about Childers the born-again white crusader and less about the overall cause he was serving in the Sudan, but ultimately, viewers are likely to leave the theatre asking whether they are doing enough themselves and probably concluding that they are not.
Tess Malone
Paul Young
laurent Thurin-nal
Meg Pruce explores the UK wide festival that showcases the best of French film
language cinema to these shores.” Mowe’s view is justified when you consider the festival’s impressive lineup. Daniel Autueil, best known for his lead role in the 1986 classic Jean de Florette, will attend the UK premiere of his new film The Well-Digger’s Daughter. Festival entries are also well represented, the main attraction being Christopher Honoré’s Beloved, which was the closing film at Cannes this year. Honoré will be present at several screenings, including one in Edinburgh on November 19. Despite its prominent position within the film festival circuit, the FFF acknowledges that there can be a resistance to French cinema from the general public. Mowe says, “the French film industry is most appreciative of the work we do in what is a notoriously difficult market for French film,” which highlights the festival’s role in broadening the horizons of UK cinema-goers. Mowe helps to shed light on why the UK is a difficult market for French films to crack. “UK distributors generally are reluctant to buy many foreign language films because the UK is perceived as an American ‘colony’ with more affinity to the States rather than Europe. The attitude is changing and such initiatives as the FFF UK have helped to change perceptions.” The problem also lies in the public’s attitude towards foreign cinema. The films’ language barriers often discourage viewers, and subtitled films are frequently ignored in favour of a less
In Time Directed by andrew niccol iccol’s In Time charts the epic N journey of Will Salas (played excellently by Justin Timberlake)
as he attempts to abolish a system in which everyone is genetically engineered to stop ageing at 25, and are then given a further year to live. This year becomes a commodity that can be increased or decreased in order to extend one’s life. As a result, the majority is forced to buy time through engaging in arduous, manual labour, whilst a small elite situated in an exclusive city of opulence enjoy lives that stretch for centuries in length; immortality remaining a perfectly realisable goal. This latter system, that maintains its affluence via the act of exploiting the majority, is of a nightmarish quality. Real-life, 21st century capitalism guarantees materialistic pleasure for a rich elite, but only temporarily in the sense that finite human existence prevents any permanency in this state of pleasure. In the world envisioned by Niccol, however, time is the very currency that the rich control. This entails that that materialistic pleasure never runs short, because of the very fact that it is undeserved (it is there because time is stolen from the working majority and will continue to exist, so long as time continues to be stolen). The problems with the film are barely noticeable considering its plot line is so compelling. However,
challenging experience. Mowe is optimistic that people are showing an increasing interest in foreign work, however, in that, “audiences can show a reluctance to seeing films with subtitles, but again this is changing.” Although it faces difficulties in achieving a prominent status over here, French cinema is highly regarded on an international level. “The French industry is taken seriously in global terms, and certainly ahead of Spanish and Mexican cinema,” says Mowe. Two recent examples of le cinéma francophone which have achieved huge global success are La Vie en Rose (2007) and Coco Before Chanel (2009). As Mowe notes, “even though they are far from competing with American features, French films generally benefit from a positive image abroad, and do pretty well outside France, as shown by the last ten years of successes, such as Amelie”. Cultural crossovers can be challenging, but the films’ subject matter, such as the lives of prominent French figures, helps to boost interest. The FFF pulls this trick in its inclusion of The Conquest, a farce which chronicles President Nicolas Sarkozy’s rise to power. This is a timely addition given that France’s presidential election is set to take place early in 2012. The festival is evidence of French cinema’s deservedly high status within the film world and as Mowe observes, “the French industry is a well-oiled machine and other countries could learn lessons, not least the UK.” Amanda Seyfried, who plays the spoilt, yet rebellious child of mogul, Weis (and willing victim of a kidnap operation by Salas), seems unfit to play the leading role that she occupies. Seyfried is appropriately flirtatious and frivolous, but this quickly becomes tedious to watch, as she fails to deliver a sense of multi-dimensionality in her character.
“
'
Real-life, 21st century capitalism guarantees materialistic pleasure for a rich elite, but only temporarily in the sense that finite existence prevents any permanency in this state of pleasure.” Another minor fault is found in the script. Some of the lines of the dialogue sound bland and trite, in the sense that they are frequently constituted by platitudes such as, “no one should be immortal, if even one person has to die.” However, the film does flow cohesively and the acting of those beside Seyfried is engaging. These virtues of In Time, coupled with the sheer brilliance of its plot line, make the film a worthwhile watch. Joe Smith
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Film 23 21 TOwer heist Directed by brett ratner
here are perhaps few film stars T in Hollywood who disappoint as much as Eddie Murphy. Looking at a
list of his acting roles - ranging from great early films like Trading Places to the mind-numbing stupidity of Meet Dave - is like looking at a school report which says: “So much early promise, but really must do better.” Yet in a scene midway through Brett Ratner’s new comedy Tower Heist, when Murphy’s petty thief Slide is standing wisecracking beneath the tower blocks of New York City, the audience feels transported back to Trading Places. In Tower Heist Murphy gives his best comic performance in years and brings a bit of spark to this better than average comedy. The action takes place in creditcrunch stricken New York, where the staff of a prestigious apartment building discover that they have been scammed out of their savings by the building’s main resident – the fraudulent billionaire Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda). The manager of the building, Josh Kovacs (Ben Stiller), decides to recruit a team of staff to conduct a chaotic heist to seize their money back from Shaw, and enlist the help
of local thief Slide (Murphy) in the process. It is clear from the outset that Tower Heist is no Ocean’s Eleven. The plot does feature all the recognisable elements of a heist movie, from lock breaking, to the obligatory climbing an elevator shaft scene, but in between this there is very little originality or intelligence to the film. A truly successful heist movie should keep you guessing, but unfortunately Tower Heist is really rather predictable. Despite this lack of originality the film is still a thoroughly entertaining watch. Alan Alda makes a great modern villain, and in addition to Murphy’s excellent performance, credit must also be given to Matthew Broderick who excels as a rather pathetic member of the heist squad. Tower Heist is not a classic heist movie and it is unlikely to win any great accolades. It is, however, an extremely entertaining film and an encouraging return to form for Eddie Murphy. Sally Pugh
All films were reviewed at Cineworld
THE FUTURE Directed bY MIRANDA JULY
uiet and quirky, The Future seems Q to be an unashamedly indie film on just about the right side of being
pretentious. Sophie (Miranda July) and Jason (Hamish Linklater) are an odd couple who decide to adopt a stray cat, which is strangely anthropomorphised with July voicing the feline. They are told to collect the cat in one month, and on hearing it could live for another five years, their perspectives on life change, as they feel the years are slipping away from them. July and Linklater’s softly stated performances reveal a couple that appears stagnant and almost used to each other. It is a comment on getting older; realising that you have not achieved anything whilst stuck in an unfulfilling job, as both characters are. The film is a pessimistic depiction of the mundane reality of everyday life. In the vein of Samuel Beckett’s plays, the film shows a circularity and almost ritualistic form of living. So, through the revelation that their lives are nearly over at the age of 35, the couple decides to make the most of the month that precedes the adoption, quitting their jobs and vowing to “seize the day”. But, in truly Beckettian style, they ultimately seem
to fail as they drift slowly apart. There is an emotional emptiness throughout the film, which reflects the overall message that wonders about the meaning of existence – if there even is one. July gives us a world devoid of inherent value, which can easily slip into monotony and heartbreak. It is only when their relationship is threatened that emotion is registered in Linklater’s face, which is fitting with the overall theme; too little too late.
“
It is a comment on getting older; realising that you have not achieved anything whilst stuck in an unfulfilling job, as both characters are.” What starts as kooky becomes peculiar and in the end slightly ridiculous, which is perhaps the film’s downfall. It places itself on the brink of becoming beautifully tragic, but is slightly too surreal to pull it off completely. However, the understated acting and awkward humour give a grim, yet telling, representation of 21st century living. Eerily lighthearted, the film will leave you contemplating an empty future, but in a good way. Dan Scott Lintott
Monster mash
Zack O'Leary wonders why films utilise anthropomorphic monsters
but here we are. The task is infinitely laborious, and this only enflames our desire to find intelligent life somewhere out there in the universe. Even some skewed form of intelligent life on earth might do the trick. For what is a definition without some comparison? It’s no wonder that the struggle to conceptualise humanity permeates throughout film. It’s a powerful medium for expression and exploration, and a place to face our fears. But what do our fears say about us? Take a look at two of film’s most overused monsters, zombies and vampires. The undead are often made more terrifying by a lack of understanding in how the transformation occurs – an invisible foe, robbing individuals of their humanity. The latter involves a soul-piercing moment of finality, an ultimate loss of innocence if not of life. Each of them is near human, at least in appearance, but so vitally monstrous. The upcoming horror remake of The Thing utilises an alien that can take the form of anyone it touches to terrify the audience, somewhat akin to Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956). The German word doppelgänger refers to this very sort of malevolence: an often evil duplicate of a person, their foe and foil. Like a terrorist or spy, the mysterious and unknown get under our skin because of their near-familiarity. We know the dark thoughts that sometimes go through our own heads, and we can only imagine how far something wicked and unscrupulous might go. Look back at Solaris (2002), a film documenting how well we do not understand humanity and what
SPACE ODDITY: David Bowie had a serious case of red eye should be treated humanely. District 9 (2009) takes a much more direct approach, showing us how humanity might decide to treat something that is near-human. That is, they regard them not as humans but as extra-terrestrials, experimenting on and mistreating this race of “prawns”. Could it be that anthropomorphised monsters are just easier to make? How could filmmakers hope to successfully depict emotion, create tension, or simply stay within budget if they tried to create convincing non-human threats? The complexities of creating something inhuman can be greater than those of creating something with no semblance of
humanity. Look at films that do not deign to show the monster. Or those that actually do manage to create something unmistakably exotic, as in the aptly named Monsters (2010) and Alien (1979). They struggle, but to serve other purposes. The inhuman gives us an opportunity to explore the mundane in a novel light. The Doctor, of Doctor Who fame, always had a soft spot for us humans, suggesting that we had an indomitable spirit, even if we could also commit acts of unthinkable cruelty. Who better to tell us that than an outsider? Science fiction naturally takes the spotlight in this conversation,
opheliafictionp
omething so seemingly elementaS ry as defining what it is that makes humans unique should not plague us,
and anthropomorphised monsters and aliens are a microcosm of what purpose the genre serves as a whole. Science fiction changes one or many elements of reality, and represents what we see everyday in a new light. Rooms are scary in the dark and people aren’t attractive when they’re eating, but imagine what each is like when gravity is reversed and everyone talks like they’ve got a stuffy nose. Vampires and Klingons take the concept of human and humanity and apply a different history or biology to them, but only enough to make us think about ourselves. This, them, that. They’re all us.
Classic Cult
He’s one of two men to have been nominated for Oscars in every decade since the 1960s, a knight of the realm and also quite right-wing – now, not a lot of people know that. Michael Caine is a British cinematic institution, most recently known for his role as Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne’s butler in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy. Caine’s early career, however, features a fantastic range of roles and films which represent some of the finest cinema ever crafted. Despite being well known in his cockney Gangster persona, Caine cut his teeth in traditionally British roles such as Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead in 1964’s colonial war epic Zulu. The most critically acclaimed of these is The Man who would be King. Released in 1974, this was another colonial era adventure based on a short story by Rudyard Kipling charting the adventures of Peachy Carnehan and Danny Dravot, played by the dream duo of Michael Caine and Sean Connery. The film follows them in their adventures from British India to becoming rulers of part of Afghanistan. Though Caine has said he would like to be remembered most for The Man who would be King, his most influential and culturally recognisable work is undoubtedly his roles in British gangster films of the late sixties and early seventies. The two most prominent of these are the classic The Italian Job (1969) and the much more dark and violent Get Carter (1971). The Italian Job tells the story of a crack group of thieves in their endeavours to steal a transfer of gold from Turin, led by Caine’s Charlie Croker. Croker is the archetypal Caine role, a dapper, cheeky, cockney gangster who don’t take no shit. In Get Carter however, the role is given a much darker twist – Caine plays Jack Carter, a man out to avenge the death of his brother through a series of brutal and violent murders. The film is notable for its violence, and for being set in Newcastle. The differences between the two roles are a tribute to Caine’s acting ability; the only differences between the cool but wrathful Carter and the suave Croker are a handful of facial expressions and voice patterns. Caine’s ability to portray strong characters does not merely extend to violence and leadership. In Alfie (1966), Caine played the titular, professional, unreliable narrator – womanising his way through the female population until a series of devastating events change his life. The emotional journey, coupled with breaking of the fourth wall and continuous pathological lying, make for a thoroughly challenging role and perhaps Caine’s finest performance. The incredibly complex and nuanced character that is depicted as a result is a piece of cinematic mastery. Michael Caine is one of the titans of twentieth century cinema, starring in some of the most popular and critically acclaimed British films of the last 20 years. Despite his views about bringing back national service, he deserves his position as a classic hallmark of cinema.
Daniel Swain
Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
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28 Music
No heart shaped bruises
Ger Ellis takes solace in finding The Maccabees at the top of their game after a memorable night in Liquid Rooms
wenty minutes after The MacT cabees have gone offstage, I’m sat in the pub with four other friends,
of heartfelt favourites, tonight is all about new material. Opener �������� “������� Child��”� is all at once mature, winsome and forceful; Weeks' tremulous voice loops and soothes, combining with the interlocking guitars of Hugo and Felix White, surging bass of Rupert Jarvis, and wickedly intelligent drums of Sam Doyle. The togetherness and unity within the band is beautifully elegant, and results in infectious and unexpected magnificence. Second track “�������� ��������� Feel to Follow�������������������������������� ”������������������������������� is equally brooding and dark, and despite the layers of noise, somehow intimate and precise. The Maccabees are continuing to evolve, and they’re absolutely getting better with age.
tentatively drinking. No one really says anything, but that’s because no one really needs to. We’re just drunk with delight, caught in this dumbfounded state of silent euphoria. Having a favourite band is an incredibly dangerous thing. The relationship begins that first time you hear them, and there’s this inexplicably instantaneous connection. You get all their records and learn every word like it’s a second nature psalm. You see them live ten thousand times and tell everyone you know it was seminal. You plan to grow old together. What happens if they let you down? If they become jaded and disinterested, dissolve or grow beards and make a concept album?
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Why would you want to hear something old that you'd heard a million times,when you could hear something new?” Orlando Weeks, The Maccabees For an awfully long time The Maccabees have been held in the hearts of a generation. Since debut record, “���������������������������������������� Colour It In���������������������������� ”��������������������������� , the band have perfectly, and poignantly, encapsulated the es-
“
Be in no doubt, Given To The Wild is set to be incredibly special” avoiding The Landfill: The Maccabees take some time out with Mother Nature sence of youth and young love; and the evolution found in Wall of Arms fixed our fascination. There’s perhaps a small fear in the Liquid Room crowd that upcoming album, Given To The Wild, somehow can’t possibly hit the impossibly giddy heights we might expect.
It’s evident in the encore, as the hoarse crowd howls for old favourite “������������������������������������� Latchmere���������������������������� ”��������������������������� to be the night’s closer. Frontman Orlando Weeks, usually murmuring and self-conscious, laughs and finds his voice: “Why would you want to hear something old that you’d
heard a million times, when you could hear something new?” The band then launches headlong into the blisteringly intricate and epic ���������������� “��������������� Grew up at Midnight������������������������������������ ”����������������������������������� , and, quite brilliantly, proves a point. Whilst we’re treated to a plethora
The emergence of tracks like ���� “��� No Kind Words������������������������� ”������������������������ and ������������������� “������������������ X-Ray������������� ”������������ spark riotous dancing and rousing choruses, yet new track “��������������������������� ���������������������������� Pelican�������������������� ”������������������� steals the night. Intense and lyrical, delicate and compelling, it’s simply a joy to experience. Be in no doubt, Given To The Wild is set to be incredibly special. As the crowd spills out into the darkness, drenched and exhausted, the silence is a confirmation that our favourite band hasn’t changed. If anything, the love just got a little stronger.
DJ Interview
Live
Something Illustrated
MAX COOper Q&A: Track by Track
Sneaky Pete's 29 October
fter a sixth month absence from the A Edinburgh scene, prog-pop quintet, Something Illustrated, returned to
Sneaky Pete’s for the launch of their debut EP, The Space Inbetween Us. After a decent support from Breakfast on Pluto, Something Illustrated took to the stage, introducing their set in the spirit of Halloween, drawing the audience in with their genuine down to earth personalities. Lead vocalist Jamie Pettinger looked at home on-stage developing a quick rapport with the audience through a sense of humour that is shared with the rest of the band.
“
Something Illustrated took to the stage, introducing their set in the spirit of Halloween." The forty-five minute set consisted of the five EP tracks, two new songs, and an encore of the much underrated “������������������������������������� Exit Wounds�������������������������� ”������������������������� , which gave the band an opportunity to show the audience their down to earth sides, set against the rest of the gig’s ambitious feel.
What’s been your set opener of late? Max Cooper - Echoes Reality (Si Begg Remix) Favorite track of the minute? John Tejada - Timeless Space What’s your classic dance track of choice to put on? Moderat - A New Error
EDINBURGH NEWBIES: Diamond formation for fives On hearing the word 'prog' you may not think this is going to be your thing, but you’d be surprised – Something Illustrated are very much an accessible band. They pride themselves on their ability to incorporate many musical genres, taking influence from a huge range of artists, whilst exposing their fantastic technicality in terms of their emphasis on complex and changing rhythms. This is complemented by impressive drumming from Joe Roberts, demanding guitar parts played by Patrick Jamieson and Andro Sneddon, and incredible bass lines from Sam Bradley. This is made clear in the catchier num-
bers, such as “����������������������� ������������������������ Head.Heart.Hands������� ”������ , and new track, “�������������������� ��������������������� Find Your Bearings�� ”�. The opener, “�������������������� ��������������������� Shipping Forecast��� ”��, demonstrates the polished and great sound these guys produce, and once the vocals enter, you’re shocked to hear such a voice come from the baby-faced lead singer. The band shows their versatility in slower numbers such as “������ ������� Sky��� ”��, which compelled the ever appreciative audience. The bottom line is they’re a great bunch of guys, and it's clear Something Illustrated have the potential to go far. Just watch! Rebecca O' Doherty
What song do you play without fail to kick start the floor? Pig & Dan - Tears of a clown (Max Cooper Remix) What track would you play at that family event? Anything by Olafur Arnalds What track would you reserve for the biggest of crowds at a stadium set? Max Cooper - Miocene The crowd aside, what eclectic song would you put on? Blamstrain - Linja (Mosiak Remix) What label,if any, do you live by? Traum
What’s been the most underrated / underplayed track of the year? No idea! What track do you get out of bed to? John Tejada’s Parabolas Album What track would you sign to your dream label? The Flashbulb - Undiscovered Colors (Americans can’t spell) What’s your club of choice to play at? Odonien Cologne, Rex Paris, Vooruit Gent, Fabric London, Industria Porto, Spartacus Aix En Provence, Solyanka Moscow, anywhere in Amsterdam!... too many good ones to be able to single one out.
Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper �������� Tuesday ��������� November �� 8 ����� 2011� music@studentnewspaper.org �������������������� studentnewspaper.org
Music 25
Albums
Brian wilson In The Key Of Disney WALT DISNEY RECORDS
class actress
Rapprocher CARPARK
he news that Brian Wilson has reT leased his album of Disney covers is bound to cause some mixed feelings
rue sensation is found in the T subtlety of Class Actress. During eleven tracks of love, loss and discon-
nection, Elizabeth Harper, the lady behind the moniker, barely steps out of moody shadows. Cooing when she could scream and breaking when she could burst, standing still in an electronic night of thick spluttering drumbeat, she sticks to her role as storyteller. However, all the while she never forgets the fundamental aim of Rapprocher - to take arty, minimalist electro pop and crash it against a dark landscape of dirty melodrama, creating something dry and lyrical, and of quiet, unassuming, filthy, New-Wave brilliance. I must confess a prior adoration though. When her first E.P Journal of Ardency was released in 2010, I swooned over it for about a year proclaiming her as the saviour of alternate female pop, calling her Audrey Hepburn with a synthesiser and generally ruining par-
LOU reed and metallica Lulu WARNER BROS
n paper the Lou Reed and MeO tallica collaboration had the potential to be great. You have a group
of people who have influenced literally thousands of other bands and can lay claim to having released some of the greatest music ever. Nearly every person involved in this project is iconic. So surely it couldn’t fail to be anything but good? Sadly it has. Opening with “Brandenburg Gates” the first impression you get is that these riffs would have struggled to find their way onto last Metallica effort Death Magnetic, never mind any of the truly great Metallica albums. When Lou Reed comes in I’m sure I’m not the only person whose head hit the table in horror. Opening with the frankly ridiculous first line “I would cut my legs and tits off ”, it doesn’t have any of the impact it was, I assume, supposed to have. It’s an obvious attempt to be controversial
Singles
BRACE YOURSELF: Some crazy dancing is about to unfold ties by putting her on mid-Rihanna/ Beyonce megamix. Never a good idea. But now, with her wonderfully mature debut album, I would feel no such worry in throwing the neon ballad and sensual standout ��������� “�������� Hangin’ On�� ����”������� in ������ between “������� �������� Single Ladies������ ������������ ” and ���� “������� �������� What’s My ��� Name?����������������������������� ”���������������������������� . In fact I’d recommend it. Female pop music is a market crowded with tan-lines and babybumps, nipple tassels and new haircuts. From the strut and sass of “��������� ���������� Weekend��” to the bright and retro sounds of “�������������������������������������� Limousine����������������������������� ”���������������������������� , Class Actress proves that in a day and age where it is nothing like the sort. Which I think brings me to the core issue with this album. This is a group of guys who appear to have no connection with their fan base. I find it hard to believe that James Hetfield the very essence of Heavy Metal seriously believes that the people who have bought his other albums want to listen to this crap. On “The View” did he seriously believe the line “I am the Table” would receive anything other than mockery and laughter? The only people who want this are the people who will proclaim that the rest of the world just doesn’t get it. Of course they probably won’t either but that’s beside the point. It may be too early to speak of the demise of these legends. Anyone who was fortunate enough to see Metallica at any of their recent Big Four shows will know that in terms of a live band there’s still very few better. However if Metallica and Reed wish to remain relevant today, and not just a nostalgia act, then they’ve got to do better than this. Stuart Iversen
avril lavigne Wish You Were Here EPIC
pop can be risky without being risqué and that underneath, production and photo-shoots can be something truly luxurious, built on a nostalgic nod or an artistic aim. So, pick your favourite song from the record and watch your friends' knees bend and ears prick up as they devour the texture of Harper’s voice, the glowing groove of the production and the tender drive through a highway of hearts that is Rapprocher and be happy that this record exists. Jack Murray
(anxiety… excitement… indifference… hunger…) but from the moment the album kicks off with a joyful rendition of Toy Story’s "You’ve Got A Friend In Me", your doubts will be extinguished by wave upon wave of pure pop pleasure. This isn’t just Brian Wilson doing karaoke; each track has been carefully reimagined, preserving the original feel while adding new elements. With some of the less well-known songs, such as The Little Mermaid’s “Kiss The Girl” and Dumbo’s “Baby Mine”, unfamiliarity with the original song may even cause you to believe that you were hearing a little known and long forgotten Beach Boys number rather than something from a children’s film. Wilson himself has acknowledged the influence of Disney on some songs he wrote for the Beach Boys. The inspiration for the song “Surfer Girl” came directly from Pinocchio’s “When You
Wish Upon A Star” and homage is paid to this in the closing minutes of the album. In terms of production, the album has all the Brian Wilson trademarks of tight harmonies, unusual instrumentation and perfectly balanced arrangements. In addition there are comic elements in the music, which are at their most absurd in “Hi Ho (Whistle While You Work)”, an enjoyably ramshackle mini-medley with farting bassline and twinkling toy instruments. On the other hand there’s a nod to Bo Diddley’s son clave in “I Just Can’t Wait To Be King”. Less positively, Wilson’s voice isn’t what it was and proves somewhat of a distraction in tracks like “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”, but even this is not enough to detract from the overall raucous bounce of the song. Like his previous tribute album, Brian Wilson Reimagines Gershwin, this record has been criticised for being too saccharine by those who have apparently forgotten that these are covers of Disney, not Leonard Cohen. Sure, Brian Wilson-ification may not be appropriate for many genres but his style certainly lends itself well to these songs as they share a certain lighthearted nostalgic charm, making this album an absolute delight. Helen Stride
florence and the machine Ceremonials ISLAND
lorence’s new album comes unF der the heavy burden of trying to avoid 'Second Album Syndrome', but
thankfully Florence has leapt over that hurdle with her interesting new album, Ceremonials. It’s not as angry as Lungs, mainly due to the relationship with her ex now being repaired, leading to an almost cheerful album. It still holds the hypnotic drumming throughout, as well as the haunting harp, but mainly, it is a vehicle for Florence to show off that amazing voice. The first single “Shake It Out” is the album’s standout track. It will be to Ceremonials what “Dog Days Are Over” was to Lungs. It combines the familiar anthem feel with a catchy tune, keeping the vastness of the other songs on the album without losing its intimacy. With Paul Epworth as producer, we get the gothic sound demonstrated on “Howl” and “Blinding”. Having a single producer results in a more coherent
birdy
People Help the People WARNER MUSIC
FOREST AND THE MACHINE: Florence leaves the wilderness album than Lungs perhaps was. However, this feeds into the main criticism of the album. As a whole, Ceremonials can seem one-dimensional at times. On the first listening, it is hard to pick out individual songs as they pass you by in a whirlwind of echoing vocals, powerful drums and brilliant fretwork. However, when the effort is made to take each song individually, the rewards are high, particularly on tracks where the gothic feel is not so forceful,
rizzle kicks
When I Was A Youngster UNIVERSAL ISLAND
such as “Lover to Lover” and “All this and Heaven Too”. This is a great album, because of Florence’s truly breathtaking voice. Listening to each track, the album feels like a musical event, like you are being taken somewhere unique by the sheer power of her voice. In a world of manufactured voices, this album should be treasured as a gift that Florence shares with us. Niall Carville
tribes
When My Day Comes ISLAND RECORDS
Lavigne’s new single about hild musicians are insufferably ny soon-to-be graduate doesn’t fter hearing a few tracks from Tribes Aupvril the emotional ride of a break C irritating, right? It would be very Aneed two nineteen year-olds bangA last year, it was instantly obvious falls flat on its teary, mascaraeasy to despise Birdy equally for her ing on about their lack of ambition. that the Camden band were members
covered face. The slightly emotionally detached voice that was perfect for “What the Hell” isn’t appropriate for a song whose music video involves Lavigne crying in a bathtub. She seems to have lost the feeling she had when she stripped her voice to the basics in “When You’re Gone”. “Wish You Were Here” sounds not unlike the repetitive moans of a recent dumpee, true, but that’s not actually something the rest of us want to listen to.
youth and talent alongside her repetitive combination of reworked indie favourites and her exaggerated elongated vowels. Yet still there is something charming about her vocals. This Cherry Ghost cover would not seem out of place in a charity advert appeal, or a particularly harrowing moment in an American teen drama; which is not a disparaging comment. What Birdy does best is her minimalist and simplistic formula of haunting emotive vocals plus stripped back piano.
Nina Seale
Mairi Innes
Especially when they’ve got a record deal and number one single under their belts. Musically “When I Was A Youngster” isn’t that bad - it’s cheery and crammed with their signature brass. Creeping hints of grime, ska and video game bleeps imply the sounds the duo grew up listening to. It’s the lyrics, however, that really let this track down - the switch from “youngster” to “young star” is just irritating. Their unique flair and cheeky charm is lost on this record where they come across as a bit smug. Felicity Martin
of the Church of Cobain. Their undeniably grunge guitars were coupled perfectly with the tinny vocals of lead singer Johnny Lloyd, resulting in tracks that seeped through the pores of headphones and into welcoming ears. What a difference a year can make! “When My day Comes” is an irritatingly catchy and upbeat track that is easily lost in the sea of shit that currently floods the indie music scene. Lloyd’s tinny vocals remain but are muted by guitar riffs more suited to a Drive Time compilation (circa 1995) and lyrics that belong to a teenager in a strop. Max Sanderson
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
TV 26
Seminal Superhero Success
Alistair Grant is saved by the latest series of C4's friendly neighbourhood superhero show
LOST
&
FOUND
MisFits
Channel 4 Tuesdays, 9pm
Junior Bake off BBC2 Weekdays, 2.15pm
d
isplaying wisdom beyond his 12 years Kieran says “I ��� think ������ I’m ���� just ����� going to keep calm and get on with it”��. He’s making carrot and walnut cupcakes amidst mild chaos. Cakes have stuck to the top of an oven, walnuts have been forgotten, and – God forbid – a fellow contestant’s strips of orange zest aren’t quite long enough. This show is essentially the
“
Sylvia, 11, makes a fat-free Valentine's Day cake, which is, to be fair, more concerning than annoying." children’s version of Great British Bake Off, but Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood are being slightly nicer. Gone are the snooty comments about sloppy frosting. Noses are not turned up at a poor crumble. (Can you tell I haven’t actually watched the original show? I just listened to my flatmates shrieking “Ohmygod they’re so mean!”) Of course, as with any programme featuring precociously talented youngsters, it’s intensely irritating at moments: Sylvia, 11, makes a fat-free Valentine’s Day cake, which is, to be fair, more concerning than annoying. In this round, one heat of the quarter finals, the candidates are judged on
Look Around You BBC2 (2002) youtube.com
VANDALISM: We tracked the ruffians to their lair in the hope of discovering Banksy's identity The acting is near perfect as well – with Simon’s (Iwan Rheon) development from creepy nerd to timetravelling love-interest of Alisha (Antonia Thomas) being a testament to the versatility of the actor as well as the show’s writing. Lauren Socha is also continually impressive as Kelly, a loud-mouthed chav formally capable of telepathy. Her new ‘power’ as a rocket scientist (while an extremely impressive profession, does this really constitute a ‘super power’?) the afore-mentioned cupcakes and then a cake of their own design, which has to represent their favourite festival (hence, presumably, the Valentine’s cake – although if that’s officially a festival now then another blow has been struck to my already weakening faith in humanity). Here, the judges’ niceness is at its peak: Hari, 9, uses icing sugar instead of flour - nightmare! - in his Diwali cake and Paul chips in to help out. Presenter Aaron Craze is likeable enough, although he clearly gets on the contestants’ nerves by standing near them being, if not quite funny, relatively entertaining while they’re trying to bake. “You’re thinking ‘just go away!’ aren’t you?” he asks Holly, 12, who replies politely “Well, I mean you’re being quite helpful” - he’s not - “But... yes”. It’s never quite clear whether he’s going for tongue-incheek kids’ presenter stuff (“Now, have you all washed your hands?”) or being serious – he looks genuinely terrified by the blowtorch Kieran is using to finish off his Italian meringue. The thought of a 12 year old wanting to perfect his meringue technique seems to me the scariest thing about this situation, but whatever. As an amusing half an hour, this is worth a watch, but don’t dwell on it too much – there’s worrying childrenbehaving-as-adults stuff going on beneath all the whimsical decorations and cupcake mishaps.
is successfully played for laughs throughout the first episode, while her ability to portray what could have been an unlikeable character as thoroughly sympathetic earned her a well-deserved BAFTA. The first episode is full of the black humour and intelligent writing we have come to expect from the show, with plenty of destruction and, inevitably, death. We meet up with the main characters as they are adjusting to life outside community service,
Top Boy Channel 4 4oD
Top Boy is a melancholic exploration of the psychological motivations around gangs and the drug industry in the tough streets of Hackney, London, and the action follows a wide variety of people involved in the drugs trade. One of the most striking things about this show is how well the storylines converge and mesh together. Everything and everyone is cohesive. It’d be too much to say that a believable world is the most important aspect of a TV show, but it’s a solid foundation to build on. The main plot follows mid-twenty year old Dushane as he tries to establish himself as a drug dealer. But the main narrative branches off into other
Channel 4
L
while Rudy is trying to cope with his unfortunate power and its potentially disasterous connotations. Misfits is that rare thing: a show obviously aimed at the younger generations which doesn’t patronise them or get trapped wading through a marsh of ‘gritty reality’. It’s undeniably ridiculous escapism, but it has the genre whittled down to a fine art.
characters affected by the narcotics trade. For example Dushane uses impressionable teenagers to carry out deals, including 13 year old Gem. Gem’s best friend Ra’Nell is trying to deal with his mother’s mental breakdown and hospitalisation. Eager to be independent he gets sucked into drug production via his mother’s friend Heather, who herself is doing it to support her unborn baby. The show fails in two main places; Dushane and melodrama. Everyone but Dushane is involved in the trade because they have to – unwillingly, miserably and desperately. This means that while Dushane is entertaining, the anti-hero routine really isn’t believable. It lacks motivation. Similarly, the melodrama isn’t devastating, but it’s there and it niggles. This is a show for totally immersing yourself in. Despite it’s failings, it comes highly recommended. Katie Cunningham
Anna Feintuck Resident Food TV Critic
LOST: Do you per'chance know the way to the Lyceum?
Channel 4
he third series of Misfits has a lot to live up to. With the absence of former lead chacacter and mouthpiece-of-the-show Nathan, the programme gained a weight on its shoulders that many suspected would be too heavy to bare. The character, played by Robert Sheehan, provided much of the humour and spark of the first two series, and without him it was feared the programme would deflate and fall apart. Such fears were unnecessary however. His replacement, Rudy (This Is England’s Joseph Gilgun) fills the Nathan-shaped hole perfectly, managing to bring his own personality to the show and avoiding falling into the trap of self-consciously trying to replace Nathan. The Northern humour that was prominent in his character in This Is England is a perfect addition to the programme. Further, his back story brings some genuinely touching moments as it is explored. Misfits is just great television. The characters are likeable yet spiky and believable; the action scenes are fluid and the writing is fantastic. Even when the whole show descends into the patently ridiculous it still retains a simultaneous grittiness and fastpaced breathlessness that is hard to find anywhere else.
BBC
T
ost and Found goes to the 1980s, via the early 2000s this week. Look Around You was a BBC parody of late seventies and early eighties education science programming. Written by and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper; it aired for two seasons, one in 2002 and another in 2005. The show was presented by Serafinowicz and Popper and a host of other ‘scientists’ and the crux of it comes through cutaways to experiments or reports on ‘scientific phenomena’ – such as an experiment in the creation of whisky – by mixing water and nitrogen, or a report on computer games such as Diarrhea Dan – a game apparently based on an undiscovered novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The humour is fantastic. Often it’s random and bizarre, for example occasionally foraying into foreign language lessons or confusing Newton’s laws with the Highway Code. This type of truly perverse humour has become Serafinowicz’s staple, such as in The Peter Seraf inowicz Show, though this offering is less character-based. The cast were tremendous; though they all, by design, played the same blank Open University professor-style character it was done pitch-perfectly. Josie D’Arby, Peep Show’s Olivia Colman and Shaun of the Dead director Edgar Wright are the stand-out peripheral scientists, doing a grand job of staring very earnestly into the camera, in a cheery, primary-school teacher way and saying things like “Germs come from Germany.” The special effects were absolutely perfect in capturing the feel and visual look of the 1980s, whilst the patronising dialogue and explain-it-all graphics allow exceptional parodical scope. The series was somewhat hindered by its late broadcast time and was under a substantial amount of radars. I only found out about it when my Year 9 Physics teacher got bored and whacked it on in one our lessons. But it’s well worth a watch - a very neat parody, if slightly dated. Daniel Swain
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Tuesday November 8 2011 studentnewspaper.org
27 Sport 27
Personal demons haunt Hamilton Chris Waugh examines the underlying reasons for Lewis Hamilton's terrible 2011 season clashed, Hamilton has been penalised. Drive-through penalties were the punishment on both of these occasions and they ultimately affected the outcome of both of those races for Hamilton. He has failed to finish in a number of other races due to crashes, most notably with his McLaren teammate Button at the Canadian Grand Prix, and this has meant that he lies a miserable fourth in the Championship standings, struggling for a top three finish alongside Button, Mark Webber and Fernando Alonso rather than battling it out for glory with Vettel.
“
Whilst Vettel has risen to become the hottest property in the paddock, Hamilton's stock has continued to fall at an alarming rate."
CRASH OUT: Hamilton has not finished enough races this season
Hamilton’s personal demons began to surface throughout the 2010 season, but the 2011 campaign has seen them envelope his efforts to compete. It is not surprising, perhaps, that Anthony Hamilton, Lewis’ father, mentor and role model, was relieved of his duties as the manager of the 2008 World Champion in March 2010 and eighteen months on his son is a loose cannon who is out of control. Martin Brundle, amongst others, believes that Anthony was able to keep his son focused on racing and prevent private issues from clouding his mind. October of this year saw the announcement by Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger that her romantic relation-
ship with Hamilton had ended, despite rumours that an engagement was in the pipeline. Although in the long-term this split may be in Hamilton’s best interests as he will no longer have to fly halfway around the world to see his girlfriend, in the short-term it is clear that this has been one of the many issues that have affected the driver’s mental state. Erratic performances in the championship this season have suggested personal problems existed and, if the split had been on the cards for a significant period, this could well have distracted Hamilton during the F1 campaign. If Anthony Hamilton had remained his manager then it is not hard to imagine that Lewis would not have been allowed to have been distracted to the extent he has been. Constant criticisms in the press and by fellow drivers of his aggressive driving-style have also forced Hamilton on the defensive with no direct manager to shield him. Anthony Hamilton has
even publically criticised Lewis’ current management team, Simon Fuller’s XIX Entertainment, for failing to send personal aides with his son on tour. Hamilton is clearly the type of personality who requires molly-coddling and evidently this not been the case under Fuller’s management. Something that cannot be doubted is Hamilton’s supreme talent and, in terms of pure racing speed, he is still the quickest on the track. Realistically he is the only driver who, on form, could challenge the impervious Vettel for the title next season. Challenging Vettel for the championship will only be achieved if Hamilton can get his mind in order, however, and under his current management regime this looks simply impossible. Luckily for Hamilton, his father may just know a thing or two about driver management.
Is it better to be lucky than good?
Davie Heaton investigates whether there's truth in the old sporting myth scrap of truth, which is then grossly exaggerated. It’s not better to be lucky than good. That’s just stupid. But it certainly helps. A more accurate throwaway line would be that life is a raffle, with success the prize. Skill and determination are the tickets: the more you have, the greater the chance of winning. If you’re not good, you have virtually no chance of coming out on top. But even for the best there are no
TOUGH LUCK: Glenn McGrath's freak injury turned the tables in 2005
Richard illington
“It’s better to be lucky than good” is one of those semi-gags Gordon Strachan might bring out in the ITV studio to the delight of Adrian Chiles, who would laugh sycophantically and contort his swollen face into an expression of pure admiration. “Oh Gordon, so funny, and yet so true, you really are a Celtic colossus of common sense”. Yet just like most stereotypes, throwaway lines like this are based on a
takes A WRY look at the world of sport
guarantees. The fortunes of two equally gifted and hard working sportsmen can vary wildly if one is injury prone, brought up in an area neglected by scouts, or coached by Gary Megson. Some are luckier than others, but every success story can be traced back to a moment of good fortune, from the rags to riches entrepreneur to the inheritor of a family business. If you deny that luck contributes to success and think that everyone gets what they deserve, then you deny that luck contributes to catastrophe, which makes you a prick. Charity exists not because those in need are bad or undeserving, but because their raffle ticket hasn’t been drawn. Luck matters, and acknowledging its existence matters too. Yet it is unpopular amongst sportspeople to do so. The prevailing mantra, peddled by coaches and lapped up by performers, is that ‘you get out what you put in’. ‘Hard work improves your chances of success* (*Disclaimer: no matter how hard you work you may never achieve your goals)’ is a more accurate but far less powerful message. The belief that you get out what you put in makes it possible to spend hours in the nets, on the treadmill or furiously assaulting contact pads on Boxing Day morning. All that might suddenly seem a bit pointless if you stop to think there’s a chance it won’t get you anywhere. Understandable though it may be, this meritocratic attitude can be damaging
if taken too literally. Every athlete goes through a spell of poor form at some stage in their career and worries that blaming it on bad luck constitutes whining or self pity. But you can try too hard to get out of it. A cricketer who is out of touch with the bat might spend hours in front of a bowling machine fiddling with their back lift, head position or trigger movement to the point where these minutiae actually hijack the focus required to hit the ball. It’s healthy to recognize that good scores depend on luck, as nobody plays a long innings exempt from a single poor shot. Therefore bad ones do too. Maybe the most important thing is when you get your luck. If opposing goalkeepers each spill one shot during a game, they are equally culpable. Yet one might be punished (perhaps by a predatory Javier Hernandez) while the other has time to calmly recover (perhaps as Emile Hesky languishes on the half-way line). Perhaps that is why luck also has a social function. Sociologists have argued powerfully that societies with no concept of luck are often paralysed by envy and bad will – if it's not unlucky to be struck by lightning then the only explanation is that a malignant neighbour must have willed it. Recognising your own good luck helps to take the malicious edge away from potential enviers. But whatever the practical social reasons for believing in luck, just remember - it does exist.
MARTin PETTITT
It is the final lap of the Brazilian Grand Prix. Timo Glock is wearing dry-weather tyres in the rain and he cannot prevent his car from slipping and sliding around each corner; further ahead on the track, Felipe Massa is cruising to a home victory as well as the World Championship. Sebastian Vettel passes Glock; still Massa has one hand on the title. Yet, with the very last manoeuvre that Lewis Hamilton will make in the season, he also overtakes the Toyota; Lewis Hamilton is the youngest driver ever to crowned world champion and he has the world at his feet. That was “then” (2008), but this is “now” – and the “now” looks very different. Hamilton’s McLaren teammate, Jenson Button, won the title in 2009 and both the 2010 and 2011 seasons have seen Sebastian Vettel emerge as the most consistent F1 driver since the days when it became inevitable that you would turn the television on and Michael Schumacher would be leading the Grand Prix. Vettel bettered Hamilton’s record as the youngest ever world champion, and he has since gone on to become the youngest ever double world champion – just to rub further salt into the wound. Whilst Vettel has risen to become the hottest property in the paddock over the last couple of years, Hamilton’s stock has continued to fall and this season it has plummeted at an alarming rate. Although victories in China and Germany have shown glimpses of the brilliance that Hamilton is undoubtedly capable of producing, the Brit has been clouded by personal issues and his campaign has seen an unforgivable number of run-ins with race stewards. Lewis Hamilton has clashed three times with Felipe Massa this season and, on two of the three occasions they have
Injury Time
In celebration of his 25 years of service to Manchester United, Injury Time has decided to take a look back at Sir Alex Ferguson’s most undoubted success: his transfer policy. at the club So little is made of Fergie’s most impressive captures such as Klebersen, a player so amazing that Man United did not even need to scout him; instead, they scouted one of his Paranaense teammates yet paid £6 million for him. With scouting prowess like that, who needs a multimillion pound academy? David Bellion also graced the Old Trafford faithful with his talent for three seasons. After lighting up Sunderland with one league goal in twenty appearances, Bellion was whisked away by Ferguson and asked to spearhead his side. Ferguson even had the foresight to sign Eric Djemba-Djemba; a player so loved in the North-West that they coined the ironic phrase: “so bad, they named him twice”. However, it is clear that Fergie's best signing over the last twenty-five years has to be Massimo Taibi. A goalkeeper purchased for the meagre fee of £4.5 million, Taibi won the Club World Cup in his single season with the club. Few players can boast such an illustrious record and, alongside “Flappien” Barthez, Taibi is without question the best ‘keeper to have played at Old Trafford. Amazingly, even Fergie’s perceived transfer “failures” have turned out to be successes. Sir Alex came close to signing Alan Shearer on two separate occasions; a player who he saw as the final piece of the jigsaw. Fergie will be relieved that negotiations failed; I mean, a player who has scored the record number of Premier League goals would never have progressed the club further. That’s why if you ask any "United" fan you meet they’ll tell you, rather correctly, that the club are glad – and in no way bitter – that Shearer opted for his boyhood club Newcastle United over them. One final positive for those fans from Manchester (or London, China and Asia as the case may be) is that Fergie’s enviable scouting eye for talent does not look like it is going to wane any time soon. Mame Diouf was recently recruited for £6 million and he has an English hat-trick to his name, albeit for Blackburn Rovers in the Carling Cup against a second-string Norwich team, which cannot be sniffed at. Fergie seems to have saved the best until last, however. Bebe, or “Bebs” as he is affectionately known, was offered in 2009 for £750,000 but the club rejected this. Instead, in what can only be described as an ‘inspired’ move, Ferguson’s assistant Carlos Queiroz, told him to wait a year and pay £7.4 million. Bebe has made two league appearances for the club; such a lowly figure can only be explained by knee ligament damage he suffered in his second season at the club (his loan move to Besiktas was to aid his development, not offload a “flop” as many newspapers would have you believe). Like a fine single malt whisky, Fergie’s transfer policy just seems to get better with age. Chris Waugh
Sport
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday November 8 2011
Hamilton is on a crash course to failure
Chris Waugh discusses why Lewis Hamilton has had a nightmare 2011 P27
A derby day to remember
Charles Cutteridge witnesses an epic hockey encouter between rivals Edinburgh and Heriot-Watt Heriot-Watt University 3 Edinburgh University 4 A cold November evening provided the setting of what turned out to be an intriguing derby. It was Edinburgh who christened the score sheet, an interception from Tom Swarbrick nine minutes in led to a beautiful long ball from Kaylan Pathmanaythan which was classily put away by Neil McNiven as Edinburgh took the lead. This was immediately followed by an equalising chance; a reverse stick shot from the Heriot-Watt striker Frasier Hurst was nicely saved by keeper Dave Forrester. After a period of relatively inconsistent possession by either team, Nick Bryan pushed the ball out to the Edinburgh captain Callum Duke who flicked the ball into the right hand corner. The finish was expertly performed and it was applauded by the Edinburgh faithful; “Classic Callum Duke” they cried. Edinburgh 2-0 Heriot-Watt. Edinburgh pressured well for much of the rest of the first period and kept Heriot-Watt back in their own half, but the reigning champions are deft in possession and sprayed the ball around well in their own territory. A ball upfield was followed by some nice dribbling down the wing; the ball crossed in diagonally for James Lannon to score a deflected effort past the onrushing Forrester after 18 minutes.
Immediately, Heriot-Watt won a penalty corner and, what would have been an exquisite equaliser was disallowed when the ball struck a stray foot on the way into the net. Heriot-Watt dominated both possession and territory for the remainder of the half although, in a rare Edinburgh attack, the home side almost restored their two-goal cushion from a short corner - only a magnificent save from Andrew Moody denied the crowd another goal before the interval. At the changeover, both teams returned to their respective huddles with Edinburgh leading 2-1. Three minutes after play resumed Josh McLane scored the equaliser that had been on the cards; to an extremely enthusiastic response from the travelling supporters. Edinburgh remained pinned back in their own half for a period after the leveller, with constant long balls from Richard Jess putting the home side under enormous pressure. Such is the character of the Edinburgh side, however, their defence held firm. Having survived a barrage of attacks from Heriot-Watt, Pathmanaythan stole the ball brilliantly and opened up the field with a pinpoint pass to Jay Harman. Harman calmly slotted the ball past the oncoming keeper, allowing Edinburgh to regain the lead some what against the run of play. Harman’s goal seemed to act as a relaxing drug for the rest of the Edinburgh side who immediately began to keep the ball better and enjoy far more
possession than they had done previously. Pass after pass found teammate after teammate and one particular pass found Duke whose effort was deflected wide. Heriot-Watt recovered some of their composure to force a few chances of their own soon after. Pathmanaythan struck the woodwork with the best of their attacks, before the referee’s calamitous mistake contributed to their second equaliser of the match. Tom Swarbrick was robbed of possession in midfield and the ball was heading out of bounds before the referee accidentally kicked the ball, keeping it in play. After some slick passing from Heriot, a thunderous effort from MacLane on the edge of the D flew into the top corner to level the match. The ten minutes that followed saw a stalemate; Heriot-Watt held possession in their own territory in the hope of earning a draw away from home, with the only counter-attack that they dare muster eventually coming to
nothing. With ten minutes remaining, Duke’s shot on goal was turned away by Moody. The pace of the game had told on the Heriot defence by this stage and, although their defence was able to slow down the game effectively, further Edinburgh chances appeared inevitable. With Heriot seemingly happy to leave with a draw, Edinburgh altered their style to counter-attack with pace whenever they could nick the ball. In the dying seconds of the game, this strategy paid off as Stuart Laing stole the ball before darting down the wing. Spying Jay Harman free on his inside, Laing expertly steered a reverse stick pass across the box and into his path. Laing’s attempt was true and it arrowed into the far corner, restoring Edinburgh’s lead once again; but this time there was no return for Heriot. Edinburgh shaded a tough local derby 4-3 and earned bragging rights - for now at least.
OUT OF REACH: Edinburgh just held off their great rivals
Overall BUCs Standings 8th Manchester 9th Edinburgh 972 10th Leeds Edinburgh BUCs Points 1st Hockey 2nd Fencing 3rd Basketball 4th Football 5th Lacrosse 6th Rugby Union
There are currently two investigations taking place by the FA concerning allegations of racist abuse. One concerns Liverpool’s Luis Suarez – accused by Manchester United’s Patrice Evra of directing the ‘N’ word at him several times during a league match this season. The other concerns England captain John Terry – caught on camera apparently mouthing the words “you f***ing black c***” towards QPR's Anton Ferdinand during Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat three weeks ago. “If a white man insults a black man that’s big news, but if a black man insults a white man then that’s nothing and it’s expected,” said Dave Whelan – owner of Wigan Athletic and a former professional. “Sometimes a footballer at that level, with the stress there is, will call somebody black or call somebody white – you just
have to get on with it. “I think the players who come out and complain about this are a bit out of order.”
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Given the platform on which these events took place, both players should – if found guilty – be banned for the rest of the season." Dave Whelan is not a racist. He is a man from a previous generation which, admirably compared with today’s culture of pizza-throwing and infantile media ‘mind-games’, adhered to the rule of ‘what happens on the pitch stays on the
pitch.’ In Whelan’s eyes, if in the heat of the battle you can abuse somebody on the basis of their being ginger, fat, bald or short then why should an equally churlish remark about their skin colour be any more offensive? But some people's views are overtaken by those of the world and the general consensus of modern society is, rightly, that such a view is complete nonsense in the context of 500 years of slavery and oppression. Comparisons have been made between the Terry/Suarez incidents and the one that brought about the end of Ron Atkinson’s career as a television pundit – heard saying a taboo word by mistake and possibly with irony. ITV had no choice but to sack Atkinson, but he contributed greatly to the rise of black players in English football and is no more a racist
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Wed 2nd November Results Edinburgh 2nd 69-54 Aberdeen 2nd (Men's Basketball) Heriot-Watt 1st 2-4 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 6-0 Glasgow 1st (Women's Hockey) L'borough 1st 91-36 Edinburgh 1st (Women's Basketball) Edinburgh 4th 3-1 Aberdeen 3rd (Men's Hockey) Leeds Met 1st 75-49 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Basketball) St Andrews 1st 13-11 Edinburgh 2nd (Women's Lacrosse) Edinburgh 1st 3-2 Stirling 2nd (Men's Football) Birmingham 1st 20-7 Edinburgh 1st (Women's Rugby Union) Edinburgh 2nd 8-2 Strathclyde 2nd (Men's Hockey)
Football winning war on racism Society can learn a lot from football's handling of racism, argues Davie Heaton
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Charles Cutteridge
Men's Hockey BUCS Scottish 1A
than Dave Whelan. The recent examples – if true – are far worse as they are not mere instances of post-PC generation clumsiness. They are examples of deliberate racial abuse. Terry could have taunted Anton Ferdinand for being a poor-man’s version of his brother. Suarez could have taunted Patrice Evra for his shameful role in France’s world cup implosion. Instead the weapon of choice was, allegedly, the colour of their opponent’s skin. Given the platform on which these events took place, both players should – if found guilty – be banned for the rest of the season. However the allegations are not, as some have suggested, evidence that racism is rife in English football – even if they are proved. Ask anybody who watched football in the bad old days of the '70s and '80s and they will agree that racist abuse has been all but eradicated
from the terraces. This is almost entirely down to one thing, the thing that makes sport great - meritocracy. English football accepts that there are outstanding black players, both at home and abroad, and clubs sign them. Every Premier League-era football fan sees indisputable evidence on a weekly basis that race has no baring on talent or competency. It is the purest and most prominent example of the mantra which everyone wants to believe in but that society so often seems to disprove: “If you are good enough, you will get your chance.” There are bad apples in all corners of society. What Terry and Suarez allegedly said is regularly heard in various forms across pubs, offices and university campuses around the country – there are just no cameras to capture it. It is inexcusable. But it is society’s problem, not football’s.