The Student 15/11/2011

Tuesday November 15 2011 | Week 9

FILM

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THE SEXUAL POLITICS OF TWILIGHT

Music» p18

C U LT U R E

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S i n c e 1887 T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T u d ent N ews pa p er

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010

Demonstrating with dignity Students march peacefully in London against trebled tuition fees amidst “political policing”

Students from across the UK took to the streets of London last week as part of an ongoing campaign of direct action against the coalition government’s changes to education funding.

There was a heavy police presence following the violence that erupted at last year’s protests against the tuition fee increases. However, the demonstration on Wednesday November 9 passed in a peaceful and dignified manner.

Police sources estimate that there were around 3,000 demonstrators involved in the march through the centre of the capital but the National Campaign Against Fees and Cuts

(NCAFC), which organised the event, estimate that there were around 10,000 people involved.

There was a large Scottish presence at the demonstration. 130 University of Edinburgh students travelled to London overnight to take part in the march, forming the largest delegation of students of any university outside London.

There were also students in London from the Universities of St Andrews, Glasgow, Strathclyde, West of Scotland, Glasgow Caledonian and Aberdeen.

4,000 Metropolitan Police officers, equipped with riot shields, helmets and batons, controlled the march.

Continued on page three>>

nina seale

Alasdair Drennan

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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2 News

The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

Think you can spell better than Stephen Fry?

Broadcaster launches worldwide NEWS >>p2-7 competition in LONDON TUITION FEES DEMONSTRATION p3 support of Mencap The Student covers the protests in the capital SCOTTISH BAFTAS p4 Ali Quaile reports from the red carpet INTEREST IN EDINBURGH p6 Attendance at Edinburgh University open days is on the rise

comment >>p9-11

Mississippi Personhood p9 Rebecca Parker discusses the would-be implications of the controversial failed amendment

Nina Seale STEPHEN FRY is challenging students around the world to a live online Spellathon contest to raise money for the learning disability charity Mencap in March 2012.

Entrants will have to create a Spellathon Bee profile on spellathon.net, complete a simple 50 word spelling test and raise £15 for Mencap before February next year to be eligible to enter the live competition.

Qualifying contestants will be told in February with the details of when and where to log on to try their hand at spelling against the presenter of BBC’s Planet Word. The challenge itself con-

sists of 15 minutes for the student and Fry to record the longest reverse word run. There will be three live games as Fry takes on primary schoolchildren, secondary school teenagers and an adult round.

Fry is excited about the project, saying, “I’m greatly looking forward to competing against the world in this extremely tricky challenge. This is just about the best integration of imagination, education, technology inclusiveness and fun that I’ve ever encountered.

[I’m] very proud to have been involved in it.”

Mencap works with people who have learning disabilities, helping them to live lives with some independence, providing advice for families and campaigning for changes on behalf of people with disabilities.

As well as a competition, Spellathon is an online fundraising competition where eager spellers can create a ‘spelling bee’ avatar to complete the challenges. Each contestant has their own

fundraising page, and every time £3 is raised for Mencap a new ‘Spelling Bee’ is unlocked.

The game is kept dynamic and interesting for its younger audience with characterised bees with personalities and outfits that compete for attention: Pirate Bee, Angry Bee, Fashion Bee, and DJ Bee. The players are guided by a charismatic ‘Professor’ bee who is voiced by Stephen Fry. The Spellathon competition has opened a new form of fundraising in the form of digitalised sponsored online games.

Mencap’s website says: “All funds raised will support Mencap’s work with people with a learning disability and their families and carers.

The games are free to download, but any funds raised are fundamental to support our work with people with a learning disability.”

In addition to this, 25% of funds raised by registered students will be returned to their school.

AGAINST A PATRONISING CASE p11 Owen Miller defends Scotland's ability to survive in economic independence

FEATURES >>p12-14 FEMINISM IN BEAUTY PAGEANTS p13 Eloise Kohler explores the debate surrounding the principles of the Miss World pageant CHATTING TO CHELSEA p14 An interview with Made In Chelsea's Hugo Taylor

Reviews >>p20-26

FIDDLE ME THIS p20 Thom Louis' glittering preview of EUSOG's upcoming production of Fiddler on the Roof LOOSELY BASED ON REALITY p23 Dan Scott Lintott ponders on the trend of book-to-film adaptations NOEL-ING ME, NOEL-ING YOU (AHA) p24 Phil Smith's review of Noel Gallagher's Usher Hall performance

Sport >>p27-28 THE DYING BREATH OF BOXING? p27 Sean Douglass discusses the critical state of the sport's popularity and the reasons behind it

MAKING THE GRADE: Shame the answer to question 16 was 'C'

Leo Michelmore THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has announced that it will be providing graduates with a more detailed record of their extra curricular achievements at university.

The Higher Education Achievement Report, or HEAR, will be given to all students graduating from 2012 onwards in addition to their degree classification, and aims to give students and employers a more detailed record of achievement than just the grade on a degree.

The move comes as a result of growing concern that the current degree classification system is failing to adequately represent the whole spectrum of what students achieve while at university.

The certificate will contain more detailed information about a student’s degree than is currently provided, including marks achieved for individual modules and any academic prizes that have been won.

It will also show any positions held

in societies or sports clubs, as well as whether the student has been a class representative at any point.

Professor Burgess, Chairman of the Burgess Group, the committee recommending the introduction of HEAR, insisted that it was a significant improvement on the traditional degree classification system.

He said, “The UK honours degree is a robust and highly-valued qualification but the honours degree classification system is no longer fit for purpose.

It cannot describe, and therefore does not do full justice to, the range of knowledge, skills, experience and attributes of a graduate in the 21st century.

“We have always sought to do justice to the achievement of students and improve the way in which universities demonstrate the wide range of their achievements.”

In the future, the Burgess Group hopes that the HEAR will come to replace the traditional degree classification system entirely.

A report published by the group said, “The benefits in terms of the richness of the information [the HEAR]

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Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

News 33

It was announced two days before the protest that the police would have access to baton rounds, or plastic bullets, and water cannons in order to control protestors if violence erupted.

This was the first time in British history that such measures were taken before a protest had occurred.

James McAsh, fourth year politics and economics student at the University of Edinburgh and key organiser in the NCAFC condemned this decision telling The Student that this was, “political policing in its most blatant form”.

Police also made it clear that any demonstrators deviating from the predefined route would be breaking the law.

Section 60 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act also gave police the right to stop and search protestors without suspecting them of criminal behaviour.

The same law gave police the right to arrest any protestors refusing to remove scarves or masks concealing their identity.

24 demonstrators were arrested, mainly for breach of the peace, but the Metropolitan Police were unable to confirm to The Student at the time of going to press how many of those arrested were actually charged with an offence.

The march began outside the University of London Union in Bloomsbury and passed Trafalgar Square before proceeding along the Strand and Fleet Street and finishing with a short rally in the City of London at Moorgate Junction.

The mood throughout the protest was generally jovial but there was clear anger at government education policies.

Lecturers from the University and Colleges Union (UCU), members of other trade unions and political organisations joined student protestors

on the march.

Demonstrators carried placards reading ‘I wish my girlfriend was as easy as Clegg’; ‘Education for the masses not just for the ruling classes’ and ‘Cameron, how much did you pay when you went to Oxford?’

There were also a number of sixthform students at the march challenging the government’s decision on fees.

At the corner of Trafalgar Square, a group of protestors broke away and attempted to set up an occupation of the square in the same style as the worldwide ‘Occupy’ camps, but police rapidly cleared the camp, using force in some cases and arresting those who refused to move.

Those who attempted to set up the camp initially vowed to stay there until the public sector strike due to take place on 30 November.

As the protest moved off the strand and up New Fetter Lane, the police donned riot helmets as minor skirmishes broke out at the head of the march.

On entering the City of London, demonstrators were met with police dressed in full riot gear and blocking off all side streets. Buildings in the area had also been boarded up.

Police dogs were positioned at street corners and mounted police led the march.

Police were obviously prepared for a disturbance to take place at the end of the march. Protestors claim that they were contained at the end of the march for a short period; however, the police deny that containment or “kettling” was used at any point.

The demonstration ended peacefully following a short rally involving speeches from representatives of the NCAFC and a representative from the UCU. Speaking to The Student after the demonstration, Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA) Vice President of Academic Affairs Mike Williamson said he was “very

happy” with the peaceful nature of the protest.

However, he deemed police conduct as unnecessarily heavy-handed given the “partylike” atmosphere and felt there was little need for the restrictions on movement in place.

A spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police refuted claims that the policing had been excessive telling The Student, “We reject any suggestion that officers policing the march were ‘heavy-handed’.

“The policing was proportionate and professional, and its aim was to facilitate the protest while avoiding serious disruption to the life of Londoners and avoiding any potential damage to property or public disorder.”

The Metropolitan Police also sought to make it clear that although baton rounds were available to use this was, “not a threat to use them, nor an attempt to be provocative.”

The spokesperson said baton rounds have, “always been available for public order situations, but have never [been] used.”

Speaking about the march overall, EUSA President Matt McPherson told The Student that whilst the decision on higher education funding had already been made, and the protest had been more difficult to justify, he felt there was still an important point to be made.

He said, “We are in this for the longer game. We cannot allow for fees to become the norm.

“We cannot allow the Labour Party or the public to think ‘everyone’s used to them now, it’s just a matter of how much they are.’”

Organiser McAsh also stated, “I was really proud to see that the vibrant movement of last year is still alive and has not given up, even slightly.

“Organising the national demo has been, at times, an uphill struggle.

Despite this, well over 10,000 people marched through London to fight for a better future.”

by about fifteen police officers - a bit of an overreaction.

At one point megaphones announced we were stopping the march to show “solidarity” with a group of electricians that had been contained or “kettled” when they had tried to join us from a protest at Blackfriars.

This caused some protesters to sit down in the road and refuse to move, until police insistence persuaded them to continue the march.

The authorities expected trouble to break out at the end of the march, when protesters gathered on London Wall at Moorgate. The area was enclosed by the heavily armoured police, with police dogs and vans patrolling the area.

However, there was just a short rally after which many protesters tried to leave only to discover that we might have been unknowingly kettled – it took us a while to figure out where we were allowed to get out.

Meanwhile there was a half-hearted attempt to burn a pile of placards, which was put out quickly by fellow

protestors.

The rally dissolved into a kind of street party, with a crowd dancing to music and even a group playing badminton in the square.

For my first protest it was a great example of peaceful protesting - the participants clearly cared about the cause and hadn’t come just for anarchic chaos.

The best moment was when the crowd filling the Strand erupted with cheers at the sight of a handful of builders that were displaying a ‘Cut Clegg and Cameron’ sign. It was just disappointing that the mood was spoiled by the heavily armed police and helicopters that followed us throughout the march.

nina seale

Continued from page one

nina seale

Edinburgh students join mass demonstration against education cuts

Within a couple of hours of arriving at the University of London Union with a stiff back and crumpled clothes from the overnight bus, Malet Street began to fill with one of the most mismatched crowds I’ve ever seen.

We started scouting out the most interesting looking characters for interviews: a group of sixth form students carrying a bright red banner, a gentleman whose pipe and casual apparel gave stark contrast to his ‘FU9K-U [Clegg]’ sign... and an attempt to talk to a shifty-eyed purple hoodie who grunted a "no" at our request and shuffled off.

The most hostility came from the large police presence that lined the streets and followed behind with accusatory eyes on the peaceful protesters. I was told there were some scuffles further up the protest but the only misdemeanour I encountered was one individual who was quickly subdued

Log on to studentnewspaper.org to view the full liveblog and interactive map of last Wednesday's events as they unfolded.

The demo will also be discussed on Fresh Air's News Show on Wednesday 16 Nov at 1600.

nina seale

Nina Seale

nina seale

Inside the demo: The Student's news team travelled to London to cover the demonstration; Nina Seale shares her experience:

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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Nominations for University rector open

Alasdair Drennan NOMINATIONS ARE being accepted for the role of rector of the University of Edinburgh.

Rectorial elections take place every three years, and previous rectors have included prime ministers Winston Churchill and Gordon Brown, and Alexander Fleming who is renowned for discovering penicillin.

The rector's role was once largely ceremonial, but it now involves working closely with the Edinburgh University Students' Association and as an ombudsman to the university.

To be put forward for election, nominees must collect at least 40 signatures from the staff and students of the university supporting their nomination.

Anyone may stand as long as they have no financial interests vested in the university and nominations must be submitted before January 9 next year.

Online polling of staff and students will take place a month later to decide the new rector and the victorious candidate will chair their first meeting of the University Court on May 14.

The current rector, broadcaster and journalist Iain Macwhirter has written an exclusive piece for The Student about what the position of rector actually involves (right).

Scottish BAFTAS held in Glasgow Ali Quaile

The British Academy of Film and Television Arts Scotland Awards have come to a close for another year, with Robbie Coltrane picking up an accolade for Outstanding Contribution to Film and Donkeys and Neds both receiving two awards apiece.

Comedian Kevin Bridges presented the festivities which took place at the Radisson Blu in Glasgow, as guests enjoyed an evening celebrating the best of Scottish entertainment. Peter Mullan, who led the field with awards for Best Director and Best Writer for his gritty teenage drama Neds, seemed apprehensive as he arrived off the red carpet, telling The Student, “I’m a bit jaded, in the sense that I’ve been to too many (awards) and so don’t think you appreciate it as much.” However, he later retracted this statement following his win, where he emphasised his genuine surprise.

Upcoming Scottish actress Jayd Johnson impressed everyone as she came up to accept the award for Best Actor/Actress in Television, completely

Iain Macwhirter When I was approached to stand for rector of the University of Edinburgh three years ago, my first reaction was: I’m not a comedian or a chat show celebrity, so why would I want to be rector?

It was patiently explained to me that the rector chairs the University Court, the board of governors, of the University of Edinburgh, one of the greatest academic institutions in the world. It was also explained that it is a great privilege and an honour – and it certainly is.

It also involves a lot of time and effort, now that rectors are expected to do a proper (unpaid) job. The days are long gone when rectors gave a speech and then disappeared for the duration.

I’ve been writing about elections for over twenty years but I’d never stood as a candidate - and against two pretty formidable opponents; the former Labour cabinet minister, Lord Foulkes and the former Respect MP, George Galloway - it was a salutary experience.

It’s not the candidate, but the campaign that wins an election. It was the many students who knocked on doors, put up posters and got the vote out who won our thumping majority – 69% of the votes cast.

The top line of my manifesto in 2009 was a pledge to work for a £7,000 minimum income guarantee for students.

This seemed like pie in the sky at the time, though it is only bringing students up to the most basic level of financial security that’s acceptable in a welfare democracy. Students were highly sceptical. So I was immensely pleased when

at a loss for words. As she told The Student afterwards, “I can’t believe I’ve just made a speech, I’ve no idea what I said but I’m really proud and honoured.”

With her co-actors Ford Kiernan and Peter Capaldi also being up for the award, she had nothing but praise for the older two, “Ford and Peter were so complimentary about me and I would have been nothing without them. I wouldn’t have won this if it wasn’t for them.”

James Cosmo was visibly moved at winning the award for Best Actor/Actress in Film, an honour that clearly meant a great deal to him. “I’m really, really chuffed; it’s a wonderful feeling.

Making that movie (Donkeys) was a labour of love for everyone and I’m really privileged to be a part of it.”

Following a year’s absence of the event, Jude MacLaverty, Director of BAFTA Scotland said, “We’re thrilled to see the British Academy Scotland Awards return for such a fantastic night.” The evening was seen as a huge success, its revision from the Awards review evidently doing it justice. It also emphasised the importance for members of the Scottish creative industry to have their own national awards, as Robbie Coltrane told The Student, “I think it’s very important that we acknowledge the talent we have here. There’s only 4 million of us, there’s three times that amount living in Manchester. Without sounding too smug, I think we do quite well.”

the Scottish Finance Secretary, John Swinney, announced last month that the Scottish government was going to introduce the £7,000 income guarantee.

I’m not saying that this was down to me – but my advocacy didn’t do any harm.

Having a mandate as elected rector of Scotland’s leading university means you have access to politicians and an opportunity to put the case.

It also gives access to the media. And during the controversy about university tuition fees, I found myself campaigning for another of my manifesto pledges, which was to resist tuition fees in Scotland. November 2010 was the pivotal month of my rectorship, when I joined 2,000 students in the first of the great tuition fees demonstrations in London.

For over a year, I’d argued that fees were against the Scottish tradition of the “democratic intellect” and were a capitulation to the commercialisation of academic life. The Scottish people didn’t want to see students burdened with debts and the financial case for introducing fees was unsound.

Gradually, the Scottish political parties, who had been persuaded that fees were inevitable, began to realise that they were losing the argument, and on the eve of the Scottish elections, Alex Salmond announced that “rocks will melt in the sun” before the SNP introduces fees. The other parties then fell into line, leaving only the Tories exposed as the party of privatisation.

This was a great achievement and shows that student activism can make a difference. I am immensely pleased to have played my small part in keeping

“

Have your say

How do the elections work? A quick walkthrough for budding rectors...

IAIN MacWHIRTER

After three years of holding the office, broadcaster and journalist Iain Macwhirter exclusively tells The Student why the post matters and how it can make a difference.

Scottish higher education tuition free and to see that the supposed “funding gap” has failed to materialise.

The rector’s role is not just campaigning. There’s a lot of administration, a lot of dinners and a lot of dressing up, Harry Potter style, in fancy gowns. But the elected rectorship is a valuable institution, Scotland’s great contribution to university governance, an embodiment

of the university as a democratic community.

There have been repeated attempts during the years to weaken the role and I hope that my successor, whoever he or she is, will resist all attempts to remove the right of the rector to chair the University Court. As for me – it’s back to the day job.

Do you know what the rector does?

Rosie Harrison, 3rd year, English literature “I think the rector is there to provide another side to the university, away from the academic side and add a bit of community. I think he’s also there to represent the student voice and give it some sort of authority.”

Kate Shall, 3rd year, English literature “I remember the rector giving a speech to new students in freshers week. He seems to be involved with the policy-making side of things, such as the anti-cuts campaign.”

Rebecca Symes, 2nd year, medicine “I don’t know who the rector is and I’m generally not sure what the Rector does. I’m not sure if it's an active post or just a representative one.”

Sheelagh Fox, 2nd year, medicine “I don’t who the rector is and I don’t have a clue what he does.”

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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Building of new MS research facility commenced by Potter author Anna Brand HARRY POTTER author J. K. Rowling has buried a time capsule marking the start of work on building a research centre for neurodegenerative diseases such as multiple sclerosis (MS) at the University of Edinburgh.

The university is constructing the research facility in Edinburgh’s BioQuarter, next to the Royal Infirmary.

According to the university, the clinic will focus on discovering treatments that will slow and hopefully reverse the damage caused by multiple sclerosis and other neurodegenerative diseases, including Alzheimer’s disease, Parkinson’s disease, Huntington’s disease and Motor Neuron disease.

Rowling was awarded an honorary degree in 2004 from the University of Edinburgh, and has since held close ties with the university.

Princess Anne, the newly-installed chancellor honoured her for her donation to the research facility as part of her installation ceremony on September 26.

Rowling donated £10 million towards the building and development of the research facility, which is to be named after her mother, Anne Rowling, who died of multiple sclerosis at the age of 45.

The donation is the largest the university has ever received.

University principle Sir Timothy O’Shea said, “This exceptionally generous donation will provide great help in the worldwide effort to improve treatments for multiple sclerosis.

“Work at the clinic will build on already existing important research strengths in neurodegenerative disorders at the university.”

MS affects almost 100,000 people in the UK. Joint research from the Universities of Edinburgh and Cambridge has suggested that using stem cells could reverse the damage caused

by MS. Professor Charles French-Constant, from the MS society Centre for Multiple Sclerosis Research at the University of Edinburgh said, “This discovery is very exciting as it could potentially pave the way to find drugs that could help repair damage caused to the important layers that protect nerve cells in the brain.”

Rowling buried a time capsule at the site of the new facility containing accounts of patients with neurodegenerative diseases, and also from doctors with their aspirations for the future.

She said, “I am both delighted and moved to be marking the start of the official building work for the Anne Rowling Regenerative Neurology Clinic.

“This time capsule captures how it is for people living with MS and other neurodegenerative diseases right now, and the current state of research. I believe that this clinic will have a huge positive effect on both of those areas in the future.

“I am enormously impressed in what has gone into setting up the clinic so far, and I look forward to seeing it completed and making further great strides in research and treatment”

Investigation: Record fees mean open days at Edinburgh are busier than ever Alistair Grant

THE NUMBER of prospective students visiting the University of Edinburgh’s open days has risen almost 18 per cent since last year.

Universities throughout the UK are seeing an increase in the amount of potential students attending open days in a trend that has been linked to rising rest-of-UK tuition fees.

Figures obtained by The Student show overall booking numbers increased at the University of Edinburgh from 20,719 in 2010 to 24,496 in 2011 (3,777 more bookings) - an increase of 18 per cent.

There were 13,572 bookings from students in 2011, showing an increase of 1,530 (13 per cent) from the previous year when the figure had been 12,042.

In line with other universities around the UK, the biggest increase at Edinburgh was in the number of parents and guests who had booked to attend, with a 26 per cent rise in numbers from 2010.

A University spokesperson told The Student, “The University was pleased to see an overall increase in the number of students and parents booking to attend the undergraduate open days in 2011 indicating that the university remains a popular choice for many students.

“While we have seen an increase in

the total number of students booking to attend these events, the largest rise was in the number of parents booking to attend the open days with their sons and daughters.

“This highlights that the open days remain a very important way for students and, increasingly, their families to get detailed information about the university, its courses, facilities and, of course, student funding.”

Newcastle University has seen one of the biggest increases in attendance numbers, with visitor numbers reaching 18,000 – 24 per cent more than last year. Sheffield University also saw a huge increase, with numbers up by around 30 per cent on the year before.

Professor Paul White, pro-vice chancellor at Sheffield University told the BBC, “What we have seen is that the numbers of students attending pre-application open days is significantly up on what it has been in previous years.

“Our first open day had 30 per cent more attendees this year, so we have seen an impact but it’s in the opposite direction than we might have thought.”

Among the other universities which saw an increase was the University of Birmingham, which opened its doors to a record 33,000 potential

TOUGH CHOICES: Do Edinburgh fees provide value for money? applicants.

On the university website the director of student recruitment Liz Murphy said, “We are delighted by the increased interest in our open days, Birmingham is making a concerted effort to enhance the experience for all students and we look forward to opening up our beautiful campus to a new group of potential undergraduates.”

The number of parents accompanying students to open days is also on the rise with the increased fees.

Professor Elizabeth Stuart, the senior pro-vice chancellor at the University of Winchester told The Guardian, “Students seem to be resigned to the tuition fees rise – it is the parents who are worried. We were ready with

responses to those who might be considering not applying, but we didn’t encounter the question.”

Jack Williams, a third year Computer Science student at the University of Edinburgh from Buckinghamshire has a younger sister who is currently applying for university.

He told The Student, “I know from my experience that is it definitely more of a concern for my parents and sister when it comes to choosing which university to attend than it was when I was applying.

“The fees are more of an issue for her than they were for me, so she’s been going to a lot more open days and maybe taking her time over it a bit more than I did.”

Starbucks’ beans close to a heavy roasting Leo Michelmore

A FIRE broke out at a popular student coffee shop last Wednesday. Customers at the Forest Road branch of Starbucks were left alarmed and coffee-less, as they were “evacuated from the premises” after the smell of smoke filled the café.

Initial reports stated that the fire started inside Starbucks itself, but it is now understood that the smoke was caused by burning rubbish beneath the pavement outside.

Talking to The Student, a Lothian and Borders Fire Service spokeswoman described the fire as “smouldering” before it was extinguished.

She said, “It appears to have been a light within the pavement that had sparked a small smouldering fire.

“The call came in at 12:32 … there was some smoke in the immediate vicinity [of Starbucks].”

Second year German and Law student Katy Bush lives directly above the Starbucks in question. She told The Student about her “panic” as the smoke filled her living room. She said, “We were having a leisurely student morning when there was suddenly a strong smell of smoke.

“We couldn’t figure out where it was coming from in the flat and started to panic a bit.”

After the arrival of four fire engines, Katy and her flatmates decided to go outside and investigate.

“We were told the fire was probably coming from below the grates in the pavement. Everyone had been evacuated from the premises and we stood there in our pyjamas with the Starbucks staff.” No one was hurt during the incident.

TAKING PRECAUTIONS: That metal railing is all that stands between Starbucks and fiery doom

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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8 Editorial

Editorial

The Student discusses useful cosmetic surgery

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Time is money. Life is short. Better the gurgling of a camel than the prayers of a fish. As technological advances have skyrocketed over the last hundred years, our way of life has been transformed so that expectations of superefficiency and productivity have taken the place of simply putting food on the table. It is no surprise that our natural evolution is lagging behind. What does come as a surprise, however, is that, with all these advances at our disposal, we choose to play a passive role in

our evolutionary process. Instead, it’s about time that we started combining physical improvement with modern efficiency. Using science to alter our bodies is nothing new. However, simply tailoring our bodies for cosmetic purposes misses an obvious gap in the market and is a waste of a potentially revolutionising resource. Why spend thousands of pounds on breast enlargement when you could use your money to reinvent your body, enabling you to get ahead in the workplace, take multi-

tasking to a new level and keep up with the demands of modern life?

When all our amenities are of the technological age, it makes no sense that we should we leave our bodies in the Stone Age, grunting and marveling at fire. Take a look below at some examples of what the cosmetic surgery industry is missing out on.

SEEDY SCALP (Hair implants) With the global population recently hitting 7 billion and food resources set to become increasingly scarce, food production should be brought to the top of the agenda. Thus far, in attempting to address this issue, we have have overlooked some prime arable land. Thousands of bald men each year selfishly resort to implanting other people’s hair onto their shiny heads, when they instead should be thinking of what would benefit humanity – cultivating their scalps with the crops so desperately needed.

FLESHY FOLDER (Man Boobs) While male breast reduction, or ‘pectoral sculpting’, as it is known in some circles, is a perfectly good solution to unwanted chest flab, its utility is almost nil, not to mention the fact that its implementation involves the wasting of perfectly good material. The ‘Fleshy Folder’ procedure, on the other hand, transforms your moob into a skin pocket, providing the perfect location to keep all your personal belongings (phone, wallet, pictures of Ryan Gosling) close to your heart.

Love, Becky & Zoe

BREAST SHELF (Boob job) Breast reshaping is the go-to surgical procedure for any woman looking to transform her physical appearance.

Traditionally, breasts have simply been made larger, rounder and perkier. The potential to re-shape the breast into a reinforced, rectangular storage unit, capable of carrying a variety of objects (laptops, cups of tea, mirrors) has regrettably been ignored. For the multi-tasking woman of today, ‘breast shelving’ could provide a dramatic improvement to the quality of everyday life.

WINGS (Bingo wings) The daily commute is the focus of many a work-related rant, with the majority of the nation’s workforce wasting valuable time in rush hour traffic. Instead of reducing the underarm flab affectionately known as the ‘bingo wing’, we should be embracing it – encouraging women to love what is normally portrayed as a source of embarrassment. We should support those who claim that less is not actually more. We should make the bingo wing bigger, better and we should install a mechanical structure that allows them to be used as gliders.

FAT PAD (Balls of feet) It is a commonly known fact that the high heel is a Vogue-approved instrument of torture. It’s also a product of our imageobsessed culture that the majority of women would like to lose weight. In the spirit of modern efficiency, why not kill two birds with one stone? By extracting the fat from your love handles/celluliteridden bum/chubby thighs and injecting it into the balls of your feet, you can avoid the sight of your muffin tops spilling over your jeans whilst enjoying the clippy-cloppy noise of your Christian Louboutins, uninterrupted by cries of pain. If this concept appeals to you, you’re in luck! IT ACTUALLY EXISTS.

Letter to the Editors After reading Francesca Larcombe’s column in last week’s paper (Viennese Whirls – Part Three: Style the Nation), her uninformed over-generalisation of the fashion attitude in my hometown left a bitter taste in my mouth. I do not understand how a city of such vibrant culture and art can be portrayed as being full of narrow-minded, boringly dressed people. Old ladies on public transport that give you ‘the look’ if you show a lot of flesh are not a phenomenon confined to Austria, but can be found the world over.

My experience of Vienna is very different. I have encountered some of the most free-spirited and creative people here. Visiting art exhibitions organised

by students, exploring small, unique shops and having great conversations in historic cafes are what I remember from growing up in the city.

I have seen glamour. I have seen sex appeal. It is tragic that Francesca apparently wasn’t able to find this side of Vienna.

Viennese fashion sense is certainly different, but is it not diversity that makes fashion interesting? Moving to Scotland has been a culture shock for me, too. It still amazes me that Scots have such an iron constitution that they are able to walk through the Scottish rain in a mini skirt. In Vienna we do not necessarily dress as prudes, we just dress more temperature-appropri-

ate. For me, it is astounding that summer dresses and cold, drizzling rain are not mutually exclusive here in the UK. As a native of Vienna, I do not feel that Francesca’s characterisation of the city’s fashion sense is accurate.

More importantly, part of the appeal of spending time in a new city is embracing the cultural differences. It’s a shame that she doesn’t seem to realise this. Why would you go to Vienna to “find the London look”?

Regards, Lisa Lange

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Comment 9 �

A Republican riddle As this year’s Super Tuesday is now done with, the merry cavalcade that is the Republican presidential primary carries on apace, with innumerable debates, glad-handing and flesh-pressing predicted until the first primaries in January. Just as predictably, the Republican race is in the middle of another transitional point, where two challengers rise and fall around Mitt Romney, who hovers steadfastly at around 23 per cent in the polls.

The one crashing and burning with a fiery trail of vagaries, contradictions and implausibilities is Herman Cain, one time CEO of the Godfathers Pizza chain, now token minority candidate.

He is also, we learn, accused of sexual harassment, explaining his rapid displacement from the good books of voters (and women voters in particular).

The one rising to his zenith is former Leader of the House Newt Gingrich, at whom commentators looked askance earlier this summer when his campaign staff left him in droves, after he took a break from the campaign trail to holiday in the Aegean Sea. Other than that inconvenience, Mr Gingrich hasn’t had much to worry about in the debates. He has so far been content to play the pundit at his podium and hoping to sell a few more books in place of actually getting the presidency.

No doubt he will be just as flash-in-thepan as every other challenger, leaving Romney to limp to victory as the Republican nominee next year.

This latest development underscores just how much anybody-but-Romney

sentiment exists within the Republican Party. Over the past year they’ve tried just about anyone, with Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, Texas’ Governor Rick Perry, Herman Cain and now friend Gingrich each at one time or another tipped to claim the accolade. At least, so they themselves have claimed; the reality is that no one really expects that it won’t be Romney who ends up squaring off against President Obama this time next November. It is just so emblematic of the Republican identity crisis that the man whose campaign was thought to have imploded on a yacht off the coast of Rhodes should once again be seriously considered for the nomination.

“

Once upon a time, the Republican Party supported the opportunity to realise the American Dream."

And an identity crisis really is the best word for it. Most Republicans know they don’t want Romney – his seemingly endless self-contradictions over policy are reason enough, but cited too are the Massachusetts ‘socialist’ healthcare system that he oversaw when governor there, as well as the negligible job growth in the state under his tenure.

It might be because he’s perceived as generally unlikable and unsympathetic to the woeful economic state of millions

of his countrymen. It might even be (and here the conspiring voices quieten somewhat) because he’s Mormon.

The hunt has been on for the antiRomney for a good long time now, but the perfect candidate has either been well hidden or bullishly resistant to entering the race. Each of those who have come and gone represent facets of Republican-ness. Virulent social conservatives such as Bachmann and ex-Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum are hopeless on fiscal and foreign policy. The folksy and bombastic Cain and Perry have both crumpled under scrutiny over their past conduct and their present grasp of the issues that remain most important to the American people. Jon Huntsman is tainted by his past association to the Obama administration in his capacity as US Ambassador to China – and there again, the Mormon thing raises its supposedly contentious head. Ron Paul appeals either to the very old or (strangely) to the very young, but fails to win the confidences of the Republicans’ key demographic – the boardrooms of corporations trading on Wall Street – for campaign donations.

What Republican primary voters don’t seem to realise is that, as demonstrated by the results of elections across the country last week, their values no longer accord with those of the GOP. Across the country, so-called Republicans have been fighting back against their local and state governments’ attempts to restrict their voting rights, diminish their unions and legislate

THE GAFFE-FATHER: Cain is the latest candidate to fall from grace for their uteruses. Once upon a time, the Republican Party supported job growth and giving the American people an opportunity to realise the American Dream for themselves. Today’s Republicans supposedly hark back to the ‘simpler times’ of the fifties and sixties.

They have nothing in common with those of Ike Eisenhower’s ilk, and even Ronald Reagan would baulk at some of their most blatant gerrymandering and filibustering.

Conservatives of America should

The fertilisation fulcrum

understand that the Republican presidential candidates, almost to a man, regard the voters as suckers for a welldone campaign ad and a vinyl-wrapped RV. It is to be admitted that it is hard in today’s America (today’s anywhere, for that matter) to find a politician who represents their voters without any thought to lobbyists and campaign donations. You can bet though, that the Republican presidential nominee, whoever they are, will follow the money and not the convictions of their voters.

Rebecca Parker examines what the implications of the Mississippi Personhood Amendment would have been had it passed

TUESDAY November 8 saw the American state of Mississippi voting on Amendment 26, proposing that “the term ‘person’ or ‘persons’ include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning or the functional equivalent thereof ”.

Essentially deciding whether fertilised eggs should be classified as people, this was an amendment which would give human rights to undeveloped foetuses equivalent to those of the women carrying them. The alteration, which could appear innocuous at first glance, would have had a number of major repercussions ranging from the obvious – the outlawing of abortion – to the less immediately apparent (though no less serious) – such as the potential for women to have to undergo police investigation for miscarrying.

The campaign ‘Yes on 26’, with Personhood USA leading the charge, has been working for some time to making these changes to state law (with a longterm goal of amending the US Con-

stitution itself ). Their principal aim is to make personhood legally applicable from the point of conception. With these rights in place, abortion – and some types of contraception such as the morning after pill and IUDs – would be legally classified as murder.

Mississippi voted against the amendment, in the end, though it was hardly a landslide majority with 42% of voters still saying ‘yes to 26’.

It has been said, if the amendment did not pass in a state as conservative as Mississippi then it would have no chance in the rest of the US. Perhaps this is true, but it is still somewhat unsettling for there to still be such palpable support for the concept. Moreover, it is certain that the crusade does not end here. Such a well-established and pervasive minority will not give up so easily.

What gives this movement steam, and makes it so widely supported, is the idealism behind it. Of course, in a perfect world there would be no abor-

tion. In a perfect world there would be no unwanted pregnancy, so it would be a moot point. In the imperfect world that we have, however, there are all kinds of factors that must be taken into account: preventative contraception that is not 100% effective, health issues that can make pregnancy dangerous, and rape.

“

Do we value more the life, and freedom, of a woman or the potential one that she supports?

Under this kind of law, if a woman were to fall pregnant as a result of rape, she would have no choice but to carry the child. Pro-life supporters argue that a foetus should hardly be punished for events and actions beyond its control.

Perhaps not, but it hardly seems ethical

that a woman be forced to relinquish control of her own body as a result of events beyond her control. When looked at from this angle, the question becomes perhaps over-simplified but by no means simple: do we value more the life, and freedom, of a woman or the potential one that she supports?

This, along with the argument that women ought to ‘bear the consequences’ should they choose to have sex, stinks of trapping women in their own bodies – particularly with so many forms of contraception threatened by the amendment as well. Under these conditions choices for women become so limited as to be debilitating.

As well as this, these changes would make IVF processes impossible – every egg fertilised would be designated a ‘person’ which the doctor and couple in question would then be legally responsible for sustaining. This leaves us with thousands of new persons sitting in petri dishes in labs all over Mississippi, requiring protection under the law

FLICKR: GAGESKIDMORE

Republican voters can't decide on a nominee because their values no longer accord with those of the party, argues Lewis Macdonald

(and there are already 7 billion of us, as of last week). Not only impractical to the extent that no one could afford to practice IVF under these conditions, this is quite barmy when one considers how few fertilised eggs actually implant in the womb or develop during natural conception.

It is by no means irrelevant to note that a key aspect of the ‘Yes on 26’ campaign is how much of it is motivated by very specific religious values. Personhood USA is not shy about their driving force; one need only make a brief visit to their website’s homepage to see their aims of “respecting God-given right to life”, “glorifying Jesus Christ” and “serving the pro-life community”.

According to the group, the way to do all of these things is to protect every potential life “with no exceptions”. The punishment for not respecting this right to “God-given life” could even amount to the death penalty, bizarrely.

Pro-life indeed.

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org��

�

Outdated politics of power

Forbes' new 'Most Powerful' list speaks volumes about today's dynamics of power, argues Travis Paterson Forbes released its ‘World’s Most Powerful People List’ last week.

The only striking aspect of this year’s roll call is its predictability. Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, Hu Jintao and Angela Merkel head the list. The King of Saudi Arabia, the Pope, Ben Bernanke - the Chairman of the US Federal Reserve and David Cameron are included in the top ten.

Let’s recap how the elites have fared this last year. In solving America’s unemployment and deficit troubles, Obama and Bernanke have been hamstrung by a belligerent House of Representatives, an angry Tea Party and their own lack of preparation. Across the pond, European leaders have been muddling about for months while market confidence diminishes and populations scatter in search of work. The

G-20 Cannes summit last week was only the latest debacle of world leaders failing to act when action is required.

“

The institutions we created to govern us are now centuries old, but they are now feeling the pressure of increased populations and bureaucracy."

Is there any doubt what has to be done? America must spend on jobs and Europe has to get the cash together to bail out Greece or the dominoes begin

to fall. The problem is that while money, information and technology move at increasing speeds, the aged institutions and their leaders haven’t another gear to shift to.

So why do the powerful continue to prod while the world whips by them at an accelerating pace? Part of the problem lies in the way they still think about power. Forbes’ list is an example; heads of states top the list while the average age of the twenty most powerful people is 62.45 years. David Cameron is a spritely lad in comparison, at 45 he is the second youngest.

What this conception of power does not seem to understand is the heads are attached at the neck to aged institutions that can routinely stop them from achieving their goals. At the same time they are surrounded by a sea of infor-

flickr: the prime minister's office

10 Comment

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mation that can gather force to batter banks, expose governments and topple dictatorships at unexpected times and alarming speeds. If we want to understand why the old guard seems out of date we need to understand this shift.

We are a generation that demands to know and do everything immediately and we increasingly have the capacity to accomplish this with free information at our fingertips. Naturally those who are at the top of the power grid will be the people who have learned to cater for and exploit this.

We should therefore include Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Jeff Bezos, Robin Li, Tom Cook, Julian Assange, Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg as serious power brokers. The heads of Google, Amazon, Baidu, Apple, WikiLeaks, Twitter and Facebook respectively con-

Scurrilous scholasticism

trol large chunks of the world’s flow of information. They have reinvented the way we read, publish, communicate, network, socialise, gather information and self-express.

The political effects are real. Occupy Wall Street, which is shifting the American political discussion in an election year, the Arab Spring, which changed Arab politics irrevocably, and the Tea Party, which has gathered the youngest contingent of House Members together in a conservative revolution, have all used the new generation of technology to intimidate and overpower established elites.

As for the governments and banks of the world they have not slowed down so much as been overtaken by accelerated times. Government dithering is an age-old pastime. When Alexis de Tocqueville visited America in 1831 to document the new republic he found a nation of 13 million governed federally by 48 senators, 213 house representatives and one president. Today the United States has a population of 313 million run by 100 senators, 435 representatives and still only one president.

Is there any wonder why Obama has gone grey? Or why Americans feel their government is out of touch? The same figures and feelings are reflected throughout the Western world. The institutions we created to govern us are now centuries old, they are now feeling the pressure of increased populations and increased bureaucracy. How much longer til the bubble bursts?

However, these institutions are durable and have proven flexible in the past. Change is not unprecedented, only the speed of change. So what can be done? One likely possibility is decentralisation and devolution of powers. It’s already happening in a number of countries and seems to answer the demands and sense of isolation many citizens are voicing.

The prodding of the powerful might in the end be enough to get us through this round of crises, but we cannot put off reform for long. Government will have to learn to innovate with the rest of us. Here’s a suggestion: maybe the first step can be to give their aides smartphones instead of BlackBerrys (they are so last year!).

While students fight for equitable treatment in the UK, Rosie Stock Jones examines the problems students face in Iran

As thousands of students travelled to London on Wednesday to protest against higher tuition fees, some feared the use of plastic bullets and excessive police force. None gave a second thought to whether their participation in the protest would jeopardise the funding they are already entitled to at university. The idea that the political views of a student could affect their eligibility for grants seems ridiculous, yet it is the reality in Iran.

Less than a month ago, Kamran Daneshjou, the Iranian minister responsible for higher education, was reported as saying that Iran’s government cannot support “those who oppose the regime... and wherever we are informed that the bursary recipients are supporters of sedition, we will definitely cut off their grants������������������������������������� ”������������������������������������ . The protests referred to are part of the Green Revolution, a widespread reaction to allegations of vote fraud in the 2009 elections, when at least 36 people died during the first three months.

This outrageously open admission of political discrimination in Iranian education may seem surprising, but this latest announcement by Daneshjou merely

scratches the surface of deep seated, institutionalised discrimination. Entrance for Iranian universities is based on an exam, but applications need to be approved by the Ministry of Intelligence, who have the power to block students’ applications.

According to the International Campaign for Human Rights in Iran, since the election of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in 2005, students’ academic records have been flagged to indicate undesirable political or religious beliefs. As a result,they have been rejected from degree programmes or had their exam results withheld. They found that at least 217 students have been barred from higher education.

This direct involvement of government agencies in systematic discrimination is striking. In the UK and around the world, students are some of society’s most politically active members. It is hard to imagine any of us standing for our government withholding our exam results or refusing us entry to university in spite of them, so why is it okay for us to accept this behaviour in Iran?

In 1975, Iran signed the International Covenant on Economic, Social

and Cultural Rights (ICESCR) which sets out that “higher education shall be made equally accessible to all,” so in these actions Iran is disobeying its own laws. However, the regime claims that decisions about students are based upon resolutions of the Supreme Council for the Cultural Revolution, which is “above the law”.

“

It is easy for humanitarian issues, such as the importance of equal access to education, to get overlooked, and this cannot be accepted."

So what can be done if the Iranian government disregard foreign chastisement and international law? Recently, the UK Ministry of Defence announced that it was preparing to be ready for attack on Iran as part of a “strategy of pressure”

responding to the International Atomic Energy Agency November report on Iran’s nuclear programmes. This would suggest that education rights are far from the current British agenda in Iran, making a call for UK diplomatic pressure on Iran seem futile. However, in an encouraging move this September, Catherine Aston, the EU foreign policy chief, condemned the Iranian government for its discrimination in higher education. She particularly mentioned the persecution of the Baha’i religious minority, who are systematically denied access to universities and whose own underground institute for higher education was shut down this summer, with many Baha’i professors being arrested.

The students of Iran deserve our support and we must take action. The ‘Can You Solve This’ campaign is a coalition of organisations inside and outside of Iran aiming to use social networking media to help end the Iranian practise of discriminating against activists, feminists, human rights defenders and religious minorities in education. Since the start of the campaign, thousands of letters have been sent

to European leaders calling for pressure on Iran. In Germany, street artists across the country, where the campaign has been particularly strong, have been graffiting the website's QR code on paving stones and bus stops.

While it appears overly optimistic to say we can ‘solve’ this problem, as the campaign title suggests, it is nonetheless important to support campaigns such as this one. This is because, while individuals can rarely ‘solve’ international issues, the pressure of enough people can keep this issue on the agenda, and prevent it from being forgotten by both international leaders and fellow students like us. In a world where ‘terror’ and ‘security’ are the dominant discourse, it is easy for humanitarian issues, such as the importance of equal access to education, to get overlooked, and this cannot be accepted.

Education is key to the growth and development of Iran, and also to creating mutual understanding and peace between our two countries. If enough people show their solidarity with the students of Iran, change is at least possible enough to warrant a try.

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Comment 11

Independence, not penury

A RIGGED GAME: Oil might initially provide a boost to the Scottish economy Since the historic election which gave the SNP a majority of seats in the Scottish Parliament, the constitutional future of Scotland has been brought to the fore. Scottish voters have demonstrated their determination to set out their own future and construct their own agenda for the first time, in the face of the vastly unpopular ConDem government in Westminster.. Few issues in Scotland (indeed across the UK) have divided opinion as bitterly as this issue. However, now more than ever, Scots are increasingly questioning the ‘too poor, too stupid, too small’ mantra which proponents of the Union repeat with little evidence.

Indeed, the idea that Scotland’s oil has peaked appears to be inaccurate. As PricewaterhouseCoopers' study reporting that Scotland’s potential revenue

FLICKR: CONNOR395

Owen Miller refutes the suggestions that an independent Scotland could not survive economically

from oil and gas could be around £375 billion over the next 40 years, it stands to reason that, if invested in a similar manner to the Oil Fund of Norway, this resource could provide a solid base on which Scotland’s economy would be secured. BP is investing an additional £4.5 billion in the North Sea, so clearly the potential is there for Scotland to reap significant gains were it to become independent. Between 2008 and 2009, nearly £13 billion in revenue was accrued from oil: the single biggest take in a single year since North Sea oil production began. Evidently, this will fluctuate over time. However, with oil prices in a perpetual upwards trend over the last three decades, the argument for Scotland to utilise this resource properly is stronger than ever.

It would be absurd to claim that an

independent Scotland should only rely on a finite resource to sustain its economy, and this is why the nation has an eye to the future, with renewable energy production being actively championed.

With the most ambitious carbon reduction targets in Europe aiming to have a minimum of 40% of energy generation coming from renewable sources by 2020 (with 100% being the desired goal), the investment to achieve these ambitions shows a clear vision for the future. A recent report from Citigroup suggested that over £4 billion of subsidies would be required for Scotland to achieve its goals if independent; it also claimed that investors would be unwilling to finance an independent Scotland.

This was attacked by the Director General of the Institute of Directors, Simon Walker, who claimed that investment and jobs would be created regardless of Scotland being in or out of the union.

“I think it is alarmist and overstating the problems to say don’t invest in renewable or any other area because of future constitutional possibilities,” he said. Furthermore, the report hinged on claims that England would not import energy from Scotland were it independent. Given that Scotland currently exports 20% of its total energy production to England, it seems that such a move would be highly unlikely.

However, regardless of where one stands on Scotland’s constitutional future, the behaviour of Michael Moore MP and the Scotland Office as a whole must be condemned in the strongest possible terms. In its own words, the very purpose of the Scotland Office is to represent Scotland's interests. It is therefore appalling that it should move to warn off investment in Scotland’s renewable energy sectors, particularly in light of the weak economic climate that hangs over the whole of the UK. To discourage investment in an emerging sector that will prove to be crucial in the coming years makes no sense and shows

an unfortunate determination to keep Scotland in the Union at all costs.

This comes on the back of the Scottish Secretary claiming again that Scotland was too poor to fund itself and appearing to political point-score by attempting to blame uncertainty over Scotland’s future as the cause of poor growth and economic uncertainty. Indeed, in releasing a press briefing headed ‘Scottish Government must explain £41 billion oil deficit’, Mr Moore conveniently ignored his own department’s figures that showed Scotland’s percentage of national debt (based on population) would be £60 billion. Perhaps a press briefing from Mr Moore explaining why Scotland benefits from being a part of the United Kingdom when it is saddled with an additional £19 billion worth of debt is imminent?

“

Scots are increasingly questioning the "too poor, too stupid, too small" mantra which proponents of the Union repeat with little evidence."

The future of Scotland in or out of the Union must be debated in the coming years, but it must be done so in an honest and positive manner. The political point-scoring and alarmist approach is unhelpful, misleading and non-constructive. The economic case for Scotland as an independent nation is sound and should not be undermined by those seeking to keep the Union together at all costs. If there is a positive case for staying within the Union let that be the focus of the campaign, and not the politics of selling Scotland short.

Meritocracy no more?

Anna Feintuck scrutinises the conflict between the ideals of teaching and the realities of how it is paid for

Like many final year students, I’ve been spending a lot of time this year thinking about what I’m going to do when I graduate. The job market doesn’t seem as bleak to me as many people would have us believe but, regardless, there’s a seemingly safe option that I keep coming back to: teaching. The world will always need teachers, I tell myself, and it’s a decent salary and the holidays are good and I would be doing something useful. I’ve had this conversation with a few friends who are thinking along similar lines and one of them said that she saw my point – as long as I didn’t end up having to teach at a state school.

My response was immediate and not at all thought out: I would never consider teaching at a private school – but I’ve been dwelling on the question since. I spent the first 14 years of my education in a standard village primary school and a slightly offbeat comprehensive; it genuinely never occurred to me that I might have received a better education anywhere else. I certainly never thought that I’d be finishing that description with “but honestly, it was all

right” when people winced sympathetically - or, worse, gave me an impressed “and you made it anyway!” look - over conversations a few years later at university. Education had nothing to do with money in my mind.

“

Anyone who values education enough to want to be its purveyor should see that restrictive costs are enormously damaging."

This naivety has been replaced over the course of the last three years with a strong feeling that education should be available to everyone, regardless of background. This idea is easiest to discuss in the context of universities and their astronomical fees, but I’m deeply concerned that if the commoditisation of education becomes the norm, state

schools will suffer enormously. How anyone can say they want to become a teacher - that is, say they want to inspire and encourage young people - but in the same breath say that they wouldn’t offer their abilities to a state school, is beyond me. Anyone who values education enough to want to be its purveyor should see that the restrictive costs of private schools - and, now, universities - are enormously damaging, and represent the complete antithesis of the values teachers should hold.

How, then, can I justify another career path that seems quite appealing: postgraduate study, eventually becoming an academic? How can I remain part of an organisation which, whether through its own choice or the government’s decisions (or both) is complicit in the commoditisation of learning?

The idea of postgraduate study was somehow always slightly removed from the fees debate in my mind – further study and research seemed imbued with lofty aims and inherent value. As valuable as some postgraduate research undoubtedly is, however, I am finding it increasingly hard to reconcile my prin-

ciples of free education with the idea of being involved in institutions which seek to legitimise prohibitive fees.

The debate on the privatisation of education was brought to the fore again with last Wednesday’s national demo and walkout. I went on the march in London, and, as impressive as it was it is very clear to me that this government won’t listen. Their actions make it obvious that, like those who would only teach in private schools, they simply do not understand the importance of, and principles behind, free education. But that doesn’t mean we should stop, far from it. It is more important than ever that we think, we talk, we write – and we teach. In doing so, we do our best to make our voices heard - clearly, and with intelligence - and we will prove to the government that our education was worthwhile, and that future generations need to have the right to it as well.

But equally importantly, we will equip those future generations with the critical apparatus and quick wit to fix the mess that our current government have gotten us into – and, at this stage, I fear that is the best we can hope for.

The clocks were striking thirteen Home Secretary Theresa May has received support from an unlikely quarter this week. Repenting his claims that May was using ‘laughable and childlike’ examples to criticise human rights laws, Ken Clarke in the newly created Ministry of Truth announced on Friday that “Since the party is in full control of all records and in equally full control of the minds of its members, it follows that the past is whatever the Party chooses to make it.”

This will help to take some of the pressure off May, whose equivocation this week about whether she did sanction reduced border checks came close to claiming her ministerial head – saved by a high level intervention from David Cameron: “Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. [...] For the secret of rulership is to combine a belief in one’s own infallibility with the Power to learn from past mistakes.”

INGSOC, otherwise known as the English Defence League, were not so lucky. Their principles of Newspeak, doublethink, and the mutability of the past for once failed them even after attacking those treacherous fiends and betrayers of the British nation, Occupy Newcastle. A similar attack on Occupy London was foiled by the Metropolitan police.

Maybe the Met too was repenting their zealousness at the Wednesday demo promoting their new strategy “Total Policing”. They should be proud, in their success at keeping the great unwashed masses of student protesters in regimented lines, with only the threat of using rubber bullets. It’s a sign of turbulent times within the Met though: as no self-respecting Thought Police would have allowed things to get to the point where warnings to protesters against attending a protest were needed.

In Greece the moustachioed Big Brother, or maybe it was Plato’s philosopher king, made an appearance as under French and German pressure a referendum on the country’s bailout was cancelled and the technocrat economist Papademos brought in to replace the leader Papandreou. And in Italy, Berlusconi’s Ministry of Love reached climax as he resigned as Prime Minister after 17 years at it.

Back in Westminster, a faint cry was heard from a far corner of the chambers as Ed Balls, remembering the words of his childhood hero, Orwell, cried “Lackeys! Lackeys of the bourgeoisie! Flunkies of the ruling class!”

“WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”

Nick Dowson

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12 Features

Formulaic festivities

Jack Murray turns a scientific eye to the popularity of the enduring student party scene

with other findings in a paper called ‘���������������������������������� Pluralistic Ignorance and Hooking Up����������������������������������� ’����������������������������������

by Sarah Maurer, Sarah Scott and Stephanie Turner. They define ‘pluralistic ignorance’ as a “psychological state characterised by the belief that one’s private attitudes and judgments are different from those of others, even though public behaviour is identical”.

That is to say that in a life so enclosed in a sphere of public-watching and social interaction, the opportunity to become genuinely engrossed in your own personal ideology is impossible; applied to parties, it means that no matter how we dress them up, we have an innate need and knack to mirror everything that’s gone before. A concentric circle of booze and rumours.

And so, just like Wagner, original actions of OMG behaviour increasingly become moments of expected consequence.

“

WHERE'S WALLY?: A bird's-eye view of all the mad shenanigans and goings-on I’ve never been what you’d call a party animal. On my fourth birthday I requested a quiet night in with Schindlers List as opposed to an afternoon in Wacky Warehouse. To my mind, the latter would induce infinitely more tears. And though plastic balls of red and yellow have been replaced with plastic cups of wine and rum, we retain at university more or less the same animalistic need to run around with arms flailing and mouths agog – the only difference being that now we’re more likely to trip over a canoodling couple of chemistry students than a pair of flashing Kickers.

The student party maintains the same framework that all our fourth birthdays did, featuring a drip-drip of progressively more interesting acquaintances, a display of hyperactivity and the ritualistic party bag, which once contained sweets and now contains conversation.

“Why don’t we talk anymore, babes?” and “No, seriously, I know, I know you think what you think, but you look, like, do you know what I mean, it’s just all so nice,” have replaced “Hi, how are you?” and “Nice dress,” but they’re still as crushingly empty – a concoction of bastardised buzzwords for the smartphone generation, a sloshed creole of docile acceptance, the puny pidgin of sniggering predictability. It’s not what TV taught us.

The televisual portrayal of the student party is one of U.V. lights and slimy corridors. Try card games and crushed cashews. Peering beneath this facade of faux-socialising, in the arena

of genuine importance it is blatant that these parties don’t even matter.

Aside from the first week of mingling and segregation in which we are placed into “cool”, “cooler” and “coolest” categories, the fundamental notion of a party is to pretend you’re part of a wider community whilst existing firmly in your own private sphere of gossip ejaculation and wind-stung, ready-to-edit, pouts.

And if you’re unlucky enough to fit outside the aforementioned sections, then you’ll find yourself with the graveyard shift: searching for the lost King of Hearts and fixing the rip in the flimsy attire of the Most Pissed Person in Plaid.

“

The party is seamlessly embedded in history and popular culture, from the wine drinking hippies of the Last Supper to... the penguin suited members of the Bullingdon Club."

But what’s most unnerving is that these parties don’t stop. A long time ago, it seemed that it was only kings who had parties because no one else was important enough to celebrate; now it is estimated that for every Primary School classroom there are

at least 3-5 non birthday-related celebrations a year – for students this is multiplied by ten. At least.

Whether the theme is “Come As Your Favourite Gobshite” or “People You Wish Were Dead”, I’m more often than not relegated to the part of Hannibal Lector, left sniffing and scowling at passers-by, thinking and hoping that there must be more than stained tables, blackened cheeks and the creaking sound of virginity-gonemissing. Of course, this is all from the mind of a sceptical and potentially repressed boy-man – maybe I’m missing something.

So think of this as less an over-introduced article and more a preamble to an ongoing social experiment which has seen me try to get to grips with what exactly keeps people going to these indulgent evenings of cramped bewilderment – I’ve tried to crash, creep, snoop and poop whatever party that I could this year in a bid to find out what makes a good party, what makes a bad party, what in fact makes any party party-able and what bonds the people that drive the bus through the doomed entry to predictable, consistent and all too miniscule debauchery.

It is difficult to pinpoint the exact time that the party became the preferred title for a social gathering.

Although the lexical term ‘party’ as we know it now only seeped into our national tongue in the 18th Century (see: The Oxford English Dictionary), it is highly likely that the grunts and groans of Neanderthals gathering around fires in cult-like practice

David Domingo

No matter how we dress parties up, we have an innate need and knack to mirror everything that's gone before"

would have been conveying the same meaning – the party truly is an age-old tradition.

It is seamlessly embedded in history and popular culture from religion and the wine drinking, foreboding hippies of The Last Supper to politics and snapshots of the penguin suited Bullingdon Club - surrounding yourself with likeminded people and alcohol has become the go-to way to relax and socialise. But why?

On the face of it, incomprehensible spluttering and vomit lipstick does not scream ‘success’ but it seems that chaos equals victory and that the party which provides the most wagging tongues and lost eyelashes is ultimately the one that most people will talk about.

It follows the very human philosophy that if something’s mad, it’s good to talk about; if something’s good, it was probably boring. I call it the Wagner Principle after the X-Factor’s screeching, balding, Brazilian lothario – he was awful, but we kept on watching.

As a student from the University of Essex put it: “People like getting fucked up!”

So, if we agree the Wagner Principle is the rule from which parties extrapolate their ‘reason for existing’ - that the badder, madder and more dangerous a party is, the better it is considered from the attendee's perspective - then why are they so predictable? According to my personal calculations, a party of 25 or more goers will see six of them kissing, two of them crying, eleven drunk and one very bored. That’s usually me.

Statistics like this align and link

What has happened is that something that could have been the most spontaneous display of exuberance and adolescent invention has become an attempt to be better-remembered than the last shindig; excitement by default, lazy fun. We’re having shots of déjà-vu in between our Jaegermeister.

It means that even if the Wagner Principle does exist, in university life, it’s much more like its namesake’s music – a predictable, longwinded expression of dull-to-most pretence.

It means that, as we trudge to each doorbell knowing what to expect, we are not just ringing on the hosts and the chance of free beer, we are ringing into an implied understanding of what to expect, who to expect and more importantly, why to expect it. Parties as a whole have degenerated into opportunities for the sad to get sadder and for the happy to get smashed.

But, despite my simmering dislike, I predict that the student party is here to stay and that in 250 years, at the University of the Moon, a young half-man half-robot will be gurgling on space juice and scribbling in alien blood about how the student party is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Though wired into an intergalactic source of kick-ass music, streaming live to University of Mars and College of Pluto, though serving canapés of moon-rock and despite being surrounded by fresh, nubile civilians of the post-computer age, the orgy of white and silver haircuts and gravity defying dancing will still be ruined by a stumbling stick of a wobbling student, pulling back their wire-hair and spilling rocket fuel over their brand new clothes, shaking and wiggling to the beat of the tune, while, with an elegance only swans can match, simultaneously puking into the sink and mouthing all of the words to 'Party Rock Anthem'.

Some things never change.

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Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

13 Features

Miss Ogynist?

With protests marring the Miss World final, Eloise Kohler wonders �������� �������������������������������������� whether this is now an outdated issue When one thinks of beauty pageants the go-to image is of a garish pink outfit, an orange complexion and a ditzy female hoping to promote “world peace”. It is a deplorable stereotype one which the industry has attempted to revise almost since it started - but still considered true by the majority.

Miss World 2011 was crowned last week in Earls Court - Miss Venezuela, a human resources graduate. She was closely followed by Miss Phillipines who majored in marketing, and Miss Puerto Rico who desires to go on to a PhD in comparative literature. The 60th Miss World final brought together contestants from 122 countries in the city where the competition first commenced.

In response to the crowning, over 200 demonstrators chanted outside the exhibition hall. It was the first Miss World ceremony held in the U.K. since 2001 and the demonstrations were reminiscent of the protests held against Miss World in 1970, where women cried out against the contest with the powerful slogan: “We’re not beautiful, we’re not ugly, we’re angry.”

The feminist arguments against beauty pageants are obvious. From a young age we’re bombarded with images of what 'beauty' really is. If you have the face of Keira Knightley and body of Mila Kunis, you’re conventionally beautiful. So, why not enter a beauty pageant and be judged on how you compare to your attractive peers?

The feminists' mantra is that beauty pageants promote evaluating women purely on their looks, they objectify girls and are merely another misogynistic device to cheapen the female gender.

The pageant industry has evolved to keep up with the criticisms brought against it. Defenders claim the contests have evolved to liberate women. Miss England 2008, Laura Coleman, urged protestors not to attend last weekend, maintaining that the contest “empowers women”.

45 per cent of the judging is now based on a contestant’s personality and intelligence, as determined through a twelve minute interview. This year, the Miss World organisers even explained that roughly 75 per cent of the beauty queens involved were university gradu-

“

By criticising the competition are the feminists not forgetting about a woman's right to enter a beauty pageant?"

Cat o'Neil

“

The Miss World organisers even explained that 75 per cent of the beauty queens involved were university graduates or studying for degrees."

vinistic: “Should she win Miss Great Britain, must come under the exclusive management of the Miss Great Britain Beauty Pageant and must be available for all public appearances throughout her reign...” - Basically the administration effectively controls the beauty queen.

ates or studying for degrees. It should also be noted that 10 out of the 14 judges are women themselves.

My mother competed in beauty pageants in her early twenties - and no doubt my sympathy for the Miss World pageant is encouraged by this. Rather than the vacuous blonde assumed by the masses, my mother is a staunch feminist and a law graduate. If asked about her time competing, she is very much of the mentality that is was good fun, an effective way to earn money and in no way degrading to women. “It provides the forum for young women to learn how to speak in public and communicate their views, whether that be a political conviction or a personal interest.”

Another fundamental benefit of the pageants is the charitable work done by all involved. The prize 'Beauty With A Purpose' is awarded to the Miss World contestant who has demonstrated, through her charity work, to have made

a real difference to people in need in her homeland.

The Miss World Organisation owns and manages the annual Miss World finals, and, since its launch in 1951, it has raised more than £250 million for children’s charities. Charity work is integral to the Miss World ethos and part of the commitment expected from the contenders is that they volunteer their time or fundraise for charity. The current Miss World hopes to work with children and will spend the next year promoting the charitable endeavors of the organisation.

Miss World has also provided increased exposure for a range of international issues. In 2002, leading up to the finals in Nigeria, several European title holders petitioned to their governments and to the EU parliament to support Armina Lawai’s case. Armina was a Nigerian woman who was sentenced to death by stoning for adultery and con-

ceiving a child our of wedlock; whilst the father of the child was deemed innocent. A number of contestants followed Miss Norway’s (Katherin Sorland) lead in boycotting the process and numerous campaigns were launched to persuade the Nigerian government to overturn the sentence. The heightened media attention achieved its purpose and Armina’s sentence was revoked.

Various finals held in China have also placed greater scrutiny on the nation's human rights policies.

One of the critical evaluations that may require more consideration is the manner in which the contestants are treated. There are a variety of restrictions upheld by the competition which seem dated in today’s society. Looking at the rules for entering Miss Great Britain, some of the more limiting requirements range from the ridiculous: “Shall be a person who has never given birth to a child” ; to the fairly chau-

These restrictions have been utilised throughout the competition’s history.

In 1974, winner Helen Morgan from Britain was forced to relinquish her title after only four days when it was ascertained that she was an unmarried mother. Then in 1980, Gabriella Brum of Germany resigned only one day after her victory, initially stating that her boyfriend disapproved (which seems fairly late in the process). It ultimately emerged that she was obliged to resign after it was discovered that she had posed naked for a magazine. Yet for a competition that involves a fast-track award called Beach Beauty - in which delegates compete in skimpy swimsuits - this seems fairly hypocritical.

While anti-Miss-World-ers may use this as further reasoning to denounce the pageant, it should be remembered that these women enter themselves. The competition rules are incredibly conspicuous on both the application form and the website; and although these may be fairly misguided stipulations in the 21st century, by criticising the competition are the feminists not forgetting about a woman’s right to enter a beauty pageant? Surely to deny free will is just as restrictive as sexism?

Beauty pageants are dangerous because they remind us of a time when women were judged purely on their looks, yet the Miss World Organisation has done all they can to amend this stereotype. ������������������������� In a society that prizes the stick-thin stupidity of the emaciated on America’s Next Top Model, it seems bizarre that beautiful, normalsized, intelligent, caring women, or at least the institutions honouring them, are being condemned. I�������������� n the western world, women still lag behind when it comes to higher-up positions in business, law, academia and politics, and in many countries, women still lack basic legal equality. Should feminists not be concentrating on issues such as these, which would actually make a real difference to women, rather than getting their knickers in a twist about what is essentially a bit of fun?

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14 12 Features

The new face of feminism

According to Pat Robertson, the television evangelist, feminism is “�� ���a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

It would be interesting to see what Mr Robertson would have to say about The Women’s Mosque Movement in Egypt, a feminist group trying to educate women about traditional Islamic practices.

Contrary to what one would expect, more and more women are choosing to wear the veil in Egypt. There are a number of reasons why this might be the case; some argue that the reason has its basis in practicality – it lowers the amount that working women have to spend on clothing and discourages unwanted male attention. Others claim that the movement is a reaction to the fact that women seem to be wearing fewer and fewer clothes in the West. All of these reasons are, of course, problematic, as no sweeping assumption can be relied upon to accurately represent the 'Egyptian woman'.

One factor which underpins all the others is, however, the desire to maintain Islamic virtues. Far from the image Robertson paints of witchcraft-practising lesbians, the feminists of the Women's Mosque Movement (WMM) choose to wear the veil in order to express a love of God. The organisation developed in response to an increasingly secular government and a decrease in religious knowledge. Many say Islam is becoming more and more abstract in its guidance for how one goes about daily life.

The WMM looks at ideals embedded in a tradition that is believed by many internationally to give women secondclass status, which might cause some to question the group's validity as a 'feminist' movement. The group, however, are unapologetic in their aims to encourage women's passivity. It seeks to educate them with theological reasoning.

“

Contrary to what one would expect, more and more women are choosing to wear the veil in Egypt."

This comes as quite a contrast to the feminist movements depicted in the Western media. However, it has also achieved successes that are less controversial and seemingly contradictory to the feminist agenda. For a start, it's the first time so many women have come together in mosques, which are typically male dominated places, to discuss theological ideas.

So why does it encourage the veil? To be a good Islamic woman you must have al-haya, which translates as modesty or shyness. Wearing the veil is seen as an important part of learning to obtain such characteristics.

If a woman does not wear the veil, she has not obtained al-haya and is therefore less likely to be a good Islamic women.

But does it work as a feminist action? Or is it just reproducing women’s subordination?

I imagine someone like Germaine Greer would respond with a quick “no”.

However, it can be defended as an effective way for women to understand the reasoning behind their actions and to use their own judgment to make their choices. It can be seen as liberation, if in a form that we are not typically accustomed to.

Saba Mahmood, a professor of anthropology at UC Berkley, has studied the movement in depth. She used a case study of a woman called Nadia, who was largely rejected by society until she married, age 34.

Nadia said she could draw great solace from her strong sense of Islamic principles. She felt that she was better equipped to bear the injustice because she had cultivated herself through piety.

However, Sana, another single woman Mahmood talked to, adopted an entirely different approach. She said a ������������������� “������������������ strong personality” helped her to combat injustice. She saw her value not in men or marriage, but in achieving for herself. This might better resemble the more liberal, Western approach to feminism that we have become familiar with.

The fact that the two women studied presented different, yet equally valid, ways of coping with an injustice seems to support the argument that there is no single, universal way of conceptualising or engaging in feminist action. Such an argument leaves room for typically 'Western' forms of feminism to co-exist with more controversial forms such as that demonstrated by the WMM. The feminist movement is often associated with reorganisation, whether it be in the work place or at home, and basically encouraging women to be like

WEARING THE VEIL: Controversial in Western society men. This movement takes the reverse approach, encouraging women to feel self-worth within their role in society, in no way encouraging them to behave 'like men'.

The WMM is part of a larger Islamic revival in Egypt, with women encouraged to understand and seek meaning in their role in society, as opposed to replacing it.

Maybe Westerners should take notice of this movement and move away from the bra-burner stereotypes traditionally associated with feminism. The WMM, by working to reinforce Islamic values - important to women as well as men - have highlighted the fact that there is more than one way in which women can feel liberated.

Chatting to Chelsea

SMIZE: Tyra Banks would be so proud Sophie O’Mahony: I recently asked 20 hot-blooded females what they thought of you, and seventeen of them said “I would”. What do you think of this result?

Hugo Taylor: That’s a lovely compliment. It’s nice to feel wanted.

Sophie: How would you describe yourself?

Hugo: Oh, I don’t know…complicated? Yeah, complicated, ambitious,

made-in-chelsea.co.uk

Sophie O'Mahony talks to Hugo Taylor, one of the stars of the E4 series Made in Chelsea

and loving. Stuff like that.

Sophie: Jamie [Hugo’s Made In Chelsea co-star] was asked in an interview to compare you all to biscuits, and he said that you were definitely shortbread.

Hugo: It’s best not to take anything that Jamie says too seriously. I’m definitely not shortbread.

Sophie: Ok, well what are you then?

Hugo: (pause) An oreo.

Sophie: An oreo?

Hugo: Yeah, because there are just so many ways to be eaten…

Sophie: Spencer mentioned at the end of Series One that you didn’t actually get on when you first met each other.

What happened there exactly?

Hugo: It was a clash of personalities, really. We’re both quite similar, but we thought that we were better than the other person.

Sophie: But in the end you both respected each other’s character, as it were?

Hugo: No, not at all. I have no respect for him (laughs).

Sophie: You decided not to go to Marrakech with them all in Series Two, due to work reasons. What is it that you do exactly?

Hugo: Well I own a restaurant, for a start. I’m the PR manager for the entertainment group Bourne Capital. I used to do publicity for Chinawhite, but I decided that I wanted to get out of nightclubs and go into restaurants. I’ve always wanted to be a restaurateur, so you could say that I was living the dream.

Sophie: And you went to Harrow; what did you think of the whole boarding school experience?

Hugo: I hated it, I really did. But I’m

glad that I went.

Sophie: You think it did you some good?

Hugo: Definitely. It was character building. It puts you in a very testing situation, where you’re playing by someone else’s rules for five years of your life, and you deal with it. It sets you up for life.

Sophie: And I believe that you used to have a shaved head?

Hugo: I’ve had at least ten different hairstyles. Shaved, cornrows, blonde…

Sophie: Blonde!

Hugo: And green…

Sophie: Wow. So when you’re not doing stuff to your hair, what do you get up to?

Hugo: Chilling out, just like everyone else. I can be professionally lazy when I want to be. I am also a massive film buff; I’m probably more into film than anyone else. I recently saw Tintin, and I’ve got the Breaking Dawn premiere next week.

Sophie: Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Hugo: Whichever one supports the wolf.

Sophie: Werewolf. That’ll be Jacob.

So you’d rather be a werewolf than a vampire?

trixie pixie

Phoebe Weston looks at a movement in Egypt that challenges Western stereotypes

Hugo: Definitely.

Sophie: Do you watch Sex and The City?

Hugo: Yes. Sophie: Which girls would you say you, Spencer, Jamie and Proudlock were?

Hugo: Spencer is Samantha, for obvious reasons…I suppose Jamie is Carrie. Proudlock is the ginger one.

Sophie: Miranda.

Hugo: Yeah, her. And I suppose that leaves me with Charlotte. She’s my favourite.

Sophie: Which Harry Potter character would you say you were?

Hugo: I actually auditioned a few times for Viktor Krum.

Sophie: I had no idea. What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Hugo: Oh my God…I was in Venezuela when I was five, and my parents decided to abandon me with these reallife Nazis whilst they went off on some excursion…they were insane, they had doves that they’d painted. I can’t believe my parents just left me with them. They made me paint pigeons.

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Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 15 S&M: Students and money

joanna lisiovec

PART THREE: SEASONAL SPENDING

Popping pills

Sophie Craik uncovers the mystery surrounding contraceptive methods Tesco, potentially in vain.

This is only one of the reasons the contraceptive pill is a wonderful invention of the modern age. Its intended purpose of preventing pregnancy is the main reason it is taken, relieving a huge worry for many young women. For some, it can also help with skin problems and the total regularity of periods it creates is a significant added bonus.

With one in three women on some form of contraceptive pill, I’m clearly not the only one who approves. In fact, I couldn’t find a single friend who was not taking it. My main wonder was whether any of them suffered any side

RUINING THE MOMENT: Any side effects are better than this

ELRINA753

If there’s one thing that movies manage to capture well, it’s a love scene.

The moment the two leads gaze into each other’s eyes, the sudden build-up of desire, the pulling desperately at clothes. We sadly do not live in films, meaning that although they capture the passion pretty damn well, they often miss out that annoying, occasionally awkward moment when one of them goes to find a condom, put it on and then try to regain that steamy romance.

Suddenly, it all gets a bit clunky. You might even realise that neither of you have one; you either give up feeling entirely frustrated or go on a mad dash to

Dream on

effects; I wanted to check if I was alone in my struggles. I have tried three different kinds, and between the first that made me feel like a small whale to the last that made me feel almost Bipolar, I was feeling quite disheartened with this miraculous achievement in modern medicine.

Indeed, I am not alone – a friend of mine told me that she had tried five different pills and was getting the copper coil as a last resort. “I had to really struggle with my doctor,” a fourth year English student informed me, “they finally gave me a lower dose version of the pill I was on and my life improved so much, it was definitely worth having to get up so early for the open access surgery.” If side effects seem to be ruining your life, it is incredibly important that you don’t just accept your doctor’s word for what pill you should be on. With over 25% of women quitting their pill within three months, and many more after that time period, finding one you will stick with is certainly worth fighting for. Do your research before you ask them for a specific brand or ask them explicitly to try a different hormone and to have the dosage for you reconsidered.

Netdoctor advises that often the first options given are higher dose brands, which may contain too much hormone for you.

If you’re really not happy with what you’ve been given, there are even brands like Yasmin which are available on the

NHS in England but not in Scotland.

They contain a different kind of progestogen which, although sparking some worries about increased health risks, seems to also come with added benefits for some women of an absence of weight gain.

“

If side effects seem to be ruining your life, it is incredibly important that you don't just accept your doctor's word for what pill you should be on."

As I mentioned previously, this is unfortunately not available on the NHS here, but if it is something you would like to try you can go to a private GP to discuss it. Private doctor fees may trigger expense alarm bells, but appointments are generally around £100 for 15 minutes, longer than a standard NHS appointment, and for the relief it might provide, perhaps well worth the price.

Until I manage to find one that doesn’t make me look like I eat my own weight in butter every day, or my boyfriend wake up armed with tissues ready for the next emotional outburst, I suppose disrupting the moment to find a condom is more than bearable.

Sleep may come naturally, but there is definitely a science to it as Lia Sanders discovers After four days in a row of late nights and early mornings (because, you know, I’m at university to get a degree) my mind tossed and turned to the importance of sleep and whether I should be worried about my lack of it. It appears that I am not the only one; every conversation I have seems to return to the need for more sleep. The reality seems to be that in a student’s irregular schedule, sleep is something that is often relegated to the ‘do this later’ list, often behind ‘write that essay for tomorrow’ and ‘catch up on Downton Abbey’. This situation is made worse by the fact that sleep is not something that can be done in a rush or in a coffee shop.

We have all been reminded by our mothers of the importance of getting our eight hours so that we can recharge and consolidate the memories of everything we did that day. In fact, the necessary eight hours seems to be an idea that has been latched on to like the all important eight glasses of water. In actuality, the optimum amount of sleep is different for each individual and can vary from six to eight hours. Indeed some scientists

have wondered whether sleeping more than this might actually be detrimental to your health, although this remains an uncertain point.

“

The traditional siesta time of around 2pm is excellent for having a little doze as we have a natural dip at around this point."

Speculation and conjecture surround much of what we know about sleep. William Dement, a researcher of sleep for over fifty years, summarised his work brilliantly when he said, “���������� ����������� As far as I know, the only reason we need to sleep that is really, really solid is because we get sleepy��� ”��.

Such ambivalence in our knowledge has manifested itself in the extreme methods of sleeping that have developed, such as polyphasic sleeping. This is the

concept of sleeping for very short intervals throughout the day so that the total amount of time spent sleeping is vastly reduced. It is believed that Leonardo da Vinci was a polyphasic sleeper and napped for fifteen minutes every four hours.

Fans of this method argue that they will ‘gain’ years by not wasting so much time on sleep. Unsurprisingly, this approach leaves one exhausted and unable to focus since lack of sleep first affects our ability to actively learn anything.

Although this approach may sound quite bad for you, research done on longdistance solo sailors has taught us a few things about it that may be very conducive to good sleep health. It appears that if it is impossible to sleep for a full night it is best to tackle sleep deprivation by napping, rather than getting a straight three hours sleep, as this proves to be far more restorative. As one might imagine, the best time to nap is when your body tells you to, based on your circadian clock.

The ‘disco nap’, forcing ourselves to take a quick nap before heading out, might seem like the genius solution to our busy lifestyles, but it doesn’t work for

all. It is pointless to nap between 6pm and 8pm, for example, as invariably you will end up lying wide awake stressing about how you need to sleep in order to get ready for the night ahead (whatever you might be doing; The Student doesn’t judge). On the other hand, the traditional siesta time of around 2pm is excellent for having a little doze as we have a natural dip at around this point.

There appears to be two distinct categories of people when it comes to napping: those who swear by it and those who claim that it actually makes them more tired. This grogginess or sleep inertia that the latter group experience may often be the result of napping for too long. The ideal nap is supposed to be between 15 and 30 minutes long. Humans sleep in cycles of 90 to 110 minutes and in that time we go through various stages, including deep sleep, which is supposed to be particularly important for restoring energy but is also particularly unpleasant to be woken up from.

With these facts in mind, remember to take your mother’s advice and get enough rest. Sleep tight.

Retail sales took a dive last month, adding to fears that the UK could be following the Eurozone into recession. There are worries that businesses will face a bleak Christmas as the country is forced to tighten its purse strings. Despite these fears, whether we want to or not, we students know that winter, ‘tis a time to spend money. Be it heating the flat, getting started on the Christmas shopping, booking our New Years Eve getaway, or just cheering ourselves up with that little something, we face excessive spending over the next few months. To make sure you do not find yourself counting pennies this holiday season, I have devised a few savvy tips on how to beat the cold weather blues and still have enough money to spend come sales time in January.

Don’t buy Christmas presents: It may sound a tad Scroogelike, but instead of buying your presents early why not wrap up little I.O.U notes for your friends and family which they can redeem in the January sales when everything is discounted. This means they avoid getting something they really dislike and you save money.

Make a list: If you must buy presents then always keep in mind what you want to buy. We have all gone into a shop and come out with something we did not even know we wanted because it looked like such a good buy at the time.

Do not be a sucker for deals that encourage you to get more than you need, know what you want and resist in-store temptation.

Group grocery shop: Buying in bulk is always cheaper than buying individually, so make like a '50s housewife and get creative with cooking for your whole flat.

Bonding over burnt meals can make any winter evening more exciting and it is good practice for when you come together to try to cook your Christmas dinner .

New Year: Whether you’re planning to spend a traditional Hogmanay in Scotland or to celebrate New Year elsewhere in Europe make sure you get your transport and accommodation as cheaply as possible by booking it in November. Leave it to the last minute and you will have to pay practically double rates. Skimp on the luxury accommodation and go for complete basic. At the end of the day you probably won’t be sleeping anyway so it won’t matter that you are sleeping in a budget backpacker hostel or making your bed on a friend’s floor.

There you have it, some simple ways to cut your expenses this season. When you follow these steps be sure to put aside the cash you save, leaving you with more to play with in January, just before the best gift arrives: your student loan.

Alexandra Taylor

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper ������� ��� ��� �������� ����������������� ��� ��� ��������� ��� ���������������������������������� tech@studentnewspaper.org ���������������������������

oliver ninnis

Tuesday November 15 2011 �������� ��������� ��� ������� studentnewspaper.org

Playing soldier DICE PC,360,PS3 £40

 Shooters are well popular. You can’t go anywhere without playing one, I mean just the other day I was walking down the street and I had to pick up a medpack because some absolute bastard was shooting at me from across the road.

Whilst reasoning dictates that we must be near market saturation for shooters, there is, as a result, a vibrant selection.

Battlefield 3 aims to make itself different by stepping away from the introverted, pitched skirmishes or linear, narrative driven levels which are the crux of most first person shooters and replacing them with an ambitious attempt to emulate an entire modern battlefield for a range of players to fight in. Hence the rather creative name.

In this endeavour, it does quite well.

I mean, I obviously don’t know what a battlefield is actually like, but I imagine that it’d be quite like this, if Russia ever did go to War with America, or whatever the generic storyline is for this game (we’ll come back to this). The battlefields are beautiful, tremendous and eclectic, featuring dogfights, tank battles, infantry flourishes and helicopter raids all simul-

taneously on enormous, open maps with various nooks and crannies, a range of geographical and topographical features, and environments which are totally destructible in real-time; an impressive display of game engine process.

The combat is incredibly well balanced across the four classes; Assault, Engineer, Recon & Support, and between the various vehicles, with all having specific roles and weaknesses and learning curves – flying a jet is really quite hard, who knew?

As a result of all this the online multiplayer is absolutely sublime. An open, intense, and largely lag-free experience which can range from flying a jet around like a moron, to icing fools like nobody’s business. The points system, which rewards co-operation and efforts towards achieving objectives, as opposed to just kills and deaths is particularly interesting – especially in the game’s finest mode: Conquest, which involves capturing nodes on the map and holding onto them for sustained periods of time, resulting in a frantic, fluid war of movement. The Deathmatch modes are also handled excellently, with the random manner in which players enter the game resulting in absolute chaos.

The aforementioned generic storyline is very reminiscent of Call of Duty’s pretentious attempts to create a ‘good’ story in its last outing, 2010’s Black Ops, which consisted of stealing a range of ideas

ROCKET LAUNCHERS: When all else fails... from 2006’s Black and just being trippy in general. It added nothing to the game but annoying cut scenes. This storyline is very similar, relying on its impressive soundtrack and original score and not on developed characters or original plots to keep you interested in those cut scenes.

The storyline was visually impressive, looking just like the variety of warzones visible on the news. But the single player campaign’s range of clunky quick-time events and incredible linearity was truly lacklustre compared to the absolutely awesome multiplayer, seemingly wasting all the hard work put in developing it, it

EA

Battlefeild 3

oliver ninnis

Daniel Swain feels conflicted about Battlefield 3's inconsistent quality

could have easily been edited to facilitate a better, more open campaign. This one featured entire sections of walking around for fuck's sake.

Battlefield is a house divided; a game of two halves, a couple of cliché’s. It has an absolutely stunning and limitlessly enjoyable multiplayer and an annoyingly linear and rigid singleplayer which is still enjoyable, but feels somewhat empty, too familiar for its own good. However, the multiplayer - which is why anyone is buying this game - more than makes up for it.

...Also playing soldier?

Tom Hasler treads familiar warzones in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Modern Warfare 3 IW/SLEDGEHAMMER PC,PS3, 360 £50

 While the Call of Duty series has certainly earned its success, the annual rehash of the series is now depressingly predictable. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 is exactly what you expect from a Call of Duty game, and while this latest instalment may be the most thrilling and comprehensive yet, those who have grown fatigued with the series won’t be in for any major surprises.

As usual, it features three primary game types: single player, multiplay and Co-Op. The game’s single player is a relatively short lived experience loaded with set piece moments where the player finds himself caught up in an action spectacle rather than actually playing the game. Each instalment in the series has ramped up the intensity of these set piece moments while doing little to refine the dumb, tactically unsatisfying

combat that makes up the core of the experience and, for better or worse, this trend has continued in Modern Warfare 3. The campaign is also even shorter than previous games, clocking in at around four hours rather than six.

For fans of the series, the length of the single player is inconsequential, as the mainstay experience of the game is the multiplayer, which is built to keep players amused for hundreds of hours rather than four. The same fast, smooth controls that have made the game's multiplayer so additive are still present, but some revisions have been made to distinguish Modern Warfare 3 from it’s predecessors. The most significant difference is the replacement of the game's infamous kill-streak system with strike packages. Players can now choose to gain escalating rewards based on their own play style rather than just the stagnant, survivalist gameplay required to score a high kill streak.

For example, team focused players can take the support package and gain points for spotting enemies and defending objectives, and if the player dies the streak is not lost. Another revision is the inclusion of the new ‘Kill-Con-

firmed’ game type where players must collect dog tags from fallen enemies score points.

“

The most significant difference is the replacement of the games infamous kill-streak system with strike packages " Both of these revisions are designed to encourage a wider range of play styles and, in particular they are designed to discourage camping - a style of play which, while effective, simply isn’t as fun as running around and killing enemies in random encounters.

The changes are certainly welcome, but there are some balance issues that may leave players a little apprehensive, especially considering what happened to Modern Warfare 2 months after launch where broken systems and exploitation of the games overpowered perks made

truly competitive matches impossible.

Finally, there is the cooperative mode. Unlike the wonderfully different Zombie mode seen in last year's Call of Duty: Black Ops, Modern Warfare 3 retains the mission-based Spec Ops featured in Modern Warfare 2 which, while great fun, is ultimately finite and can be completed relatively quickly. To add some life to the co-op, a survival mode has been added, which feels very similar to other co-operative shooting experiences where escalating waves of enemies must be dispatched with an ever-increasing arsenal of weapons and air support. It’s perfectly adequate, but it doesn’t feel as fresh and original as blowing up zombies as Richard Nixon in the pentagon.

While making a few important revisions to what is a great formula, Modern Warfare 3 lacks any significant departure from the norms of the series which, after five years, is somewhat tiring. It ticks all the boxes to be a solid piece of entertainment, but it deserves little merit for boldness, innovation or originality. Also, £50 is still too expensive.

First person shooters are everywhere. In fact, take one glance at this page and you can see that the games chosen from all sides are FPS games. This should come as no surprise. The stand-out games of the genre are instantly recognisable: Halo; Call of Duty; Half-Life. The list is endless. But why is that? Why is it that bucket loads of first person shooters are created every year and are picked up in their millions by gamers, while other, similarly accomplished genres fall slightly by the wayside?

The shortest and simplest answer is, unsurprisingly, money.

Amongst the 10 top selling games on Xbox 360 four of them are First Person shooters. Halo 3 is at the top with over 2 million copies sold more than the next game, which is obviously yet another first person shooter, Call of Duty: Black Ops. Just last week Modern Warfare 3 set the all-time first day sales record for gaming. These games are pretty much guaranteed to make money and in the cutthroat world of game design, that is usually enough of a reason to make them over and over again.

A lot of the popularity that these games garner is taken from their suitability as multiplayer experiences. People spend hours playing these games online, which may explain why the majority of sales are on the Xbox 360 from those who bought the console for this purpose.

The problem with first person shooters, in everything from looks to play, is that they are all too samey. Aesthetically, they are either painted in the grey brown scale á la Call of Duty or have so much bloom that your eyesight is at risk á la Halo.

It is very difficult to add variation to shooters as they all involve pointing guns at things and pressing the button until it falls down dead. On top of this, the majority of popular FPS’s are based on either modern conflicts or space marines.

This is not to say that the genre can’t do amazing things. RPG elements can do wonders for games like this, along with strong characters and great stories. Variation does wonders for this genre and the developers who experiment will be the next to take this genre by storm.

Thom Louis

No one reads these bits anyway herring.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

17

Oliver ninnis

Astrological Anna used Stop the poor coming to our universities to teach Divination at Hogwarts until she was exposed as merely a highly perceptive muggle.

She traded in her tea-leaves for Starbucks coffee, and ditched the public wizardry sector for freelance horoscopy.

Aries

Ring that bell, Aries! Ding! Ding ding!

Taurus

You’re feeling creative and expressive at the moment, which is probably something to do with Mars. Baking lavish cakes for your flatmates is an excellent way to exercise the urges you’re experiencing. Experimenting with new and excessively bendy sexual positions is not, no matter how hot your yoga instructor is.

Gemini

After a nightmare involving being forced to hand your dissertation in right now, you find the impetus to get on with it once and for all. Unfortunately, your enthusiasm forces your DoS to suggest, gently, that you pace yourself – and please stop e-mailing them all the time; they do have other things to do.

Cancer

Your communication skills are strong this week, Cancer, and you will find yourself pouring your heart out over a gingerbread latte. Just make sure you choose the right people to talk to. Scorpios are unlikely to be in a mood to reciprocate.

Leo

Mars is energising your sign’s most escapist zone, and this will cause you to roam wild and free in the library, picking up books that aren’t at all relevant to your degree. You just want to learn, God damn it, and who do your tutors think they are, with their prescriptive reading lists?

Virgo

The full Birch moon this week suggests that your daughter loves you very much. Other readings (the Birch moon’s truths are sometimes rather specific) suggest the importance of a hot breakfast to set you up for the day. A banana will simply not suffice.

CLASSIFIEDS

MAN SEEEKING DOG: should be outgoing and able to cook.

Libra

A long journey awaits. You must set forth bravely. Also, try to pack the night before you leave, and stay hydrated if the journey involves a longhaul flight. It may, of course, only be a metaphorical journey, in which case the onus is on you to interpret this advice as you see fit.

Scorpio

Some Scorpios love to clean; some Scorpios aren’t that bothered. Regardless of which type you are, this week you discover something shiny that you thought you’d lost. It’ll be under a pile of clothes. You’ll either find it when you are tidying them away, or it’ll glint and catch your eye while you’re doing something else.

Sagittarius

See Aquarius, below, but also remember how restrictive the off-peak return to Glasgow is.

Capricorn

In the wake of the thousands of poor students who took to the streets of London last week whinging about high tuition fees, four extremely eligible young members of the upper middle class are this week embarking on a counter-protest. They have one simple message: Raise the fees and keep out the sweaty smelly poor people.

“

We are the 1% and we happen to be right" “I just loathe the lower middle classes who think that they have some sort of ‘right’ to an education” said Fotherington Botherbottom, a tweed-clad 18 year old from Charterhouse School (in the South) (expensive). “Daddy says that all the lower middle class people - you know, the offspring of teachers and accountants and people earning less than about £100000 a year, are only good for ironing his spats. I agree.”

“Botherbottom’s right you know,” says Oli (Ollivander) de Lacy, a skiing friend of Fotherington’s. “The poor really make my skin creep. I don’t want to share my university with people who didn’t pay for school. For one thing, I’ll have to wear a face mask and gloves in lectures as poor people give off spores that cause teenage pregnancy.”

Ollivander, inspired by the Arab Spring, launched a Facebook group to gather support for the counter protest.

“If the Arabs can do it, then why on earth can’t God’s own people?”

Felicity Smith-Clyde is the oldest member of the group. “My great grandmother had the first motor car in Britain. Social mobility is dangerous.

Society is not meant to move. It’s very popular to think that people can do whatever they want. But this is incorrect.

"We are the 1% and we happen to be right - I mean, if the other 99% were right as well then who would govern?

You need a class of good-looking, clever, interesting, and frightfully witty people to lead. Apart from anything

else, no one wants to look at a poor person, let alone talk about horses with them, or whatever it is politicians do.”

"Marching is vulgar," comments Riddley Bontoff, a student from SOAS. "Instead, we will be carried around in sedan chairs by our servants, who, when we reach Parliament Square, will be flogged incessantly until the government give in to our demands."

The protest begins on Wednesday at the Conservative Club. There will be canapés for those who know what they are.

News in Brief

ITV announces EVEN BITCHIER series of Downton Abbey The new show, to be entitled, ‘Downtown Alley,’ features the same characters and basic plots with the modification that, because everyone’s living in squalid conditions in a sleazy Downtown Alley, they’re all even bitchier

than they were while living in, well, a luxurious abbey.

It is vitally important that you purchase a handkerchief this week and learn to use it: Mars is soaring through Virgo and you’re going to get a cold. There’s a risk that your ceaseless sniffing in the library will leave a small brunette with no option but to stare at you passive-aggressively, inflicting imaginary violence.

Aquarius

Your inherent love of pandas reaches new heights when a tall, dark, handsome, pleasant Sagittarius handknits you a jumper with a picture of Su Lin, the first giant panda to reach the United States alive, on it. It is not quite to scale (her paws are too big) but you don’t mind.

Pisces

You’re the best, Pisces! Just take it easy. Don’t let essays get you down or let anyone make you feel guilty about the amount of take-out coffee you buy.

Inarticulate yourself

����������������� Tuesday November ��� 15 ������� 2011 studentnewspaper.org

FELICITY SMITH-CLYDE: "I'm just a typical student"

New university course in course planning established Enrolled students will have to plan the course themselves; “This is sooo meta” said one.

What do you think of Berlusconi?

JORIS BOHNSON (MAYA 4 EVA) "Berlusconi? He’s a person? I thought he was a type of biscotti!"

ANGELA MERKEL "I'll admit it. I was just playing hard to get."

ALEX SALMOND "Italy's economic security sets a shining example for Scotland on the path to independence."

5 things to do on Nicholson Street before you die

PSYCHIC SEEKING WEEKLY HOROSCOPE COLUMN

1. Walk the entire length of Nicholson Street. Live the dream.

SATIRICAL NEWS WRITER SEEKING INSPIRATION

3. Start a rave outside that shop with lazer lights shining on the pavement. Havin' it large.

2. Find the tramp who lives outside Tesco and stroke his head three times. He will grant you a wish.

4. Print yourself a name badge claiming you are from the SSPCA. Find the man with the dead bird on his head. Kill him.

5. Run the entire length of Nicholson Street. Your work here is done.

rEVIEW

COMMISSION #10: holly prentice

Holly Prentice is a 4th year BA Drawing and Painting student. Primarily a painter, Prentice uses a range of materials including oil, wax, glass and metal. However, her work is inextricably entwined with photography and film. Her materials reflect her attitudes to and relationships with specific landscapes. She captures seascapes and forest scenes with homemade pinhole cameras, which are then edited through her studio process. In her own words: “�������������������������������������������������������������� ��������������������������������������������������������������� landscapes laid bare, are familiar yet unknown to the viewer�� ”.

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper culture.thestudent@gmail.com

20 Culture

Fiddle dee dee F

iddler on the Roof is one of the most famous musicals of all time.

In fact, the most famous portrayals of the protagonist Tevye - by Zero Mostel and Topol - are two of the most iconic musical performances ever to have been seen on stage, or indeed in film. With that legacy to live up to, the Edinburgh University Savoy Opera Group (EUSOG) have a mammoth task to pull off with their upcoming production. But, even with this inheritance in mind, the company has launched itself wholeheartedly into the story of the poor Jewish milkman in the little tsarist village of Anatevka, trying to uphold his traditions in a world that is changing far too quickly for him to keep up.

The musical itself may have aged since its premier in 1964 but “it’s a tradition!” claims director Ailis Duff with a wry smile, “it is my favourite musical, the one I always watched with my family at Christmas time”. “I only propose things that I want to be in” agrees musical director Luka Bjelis. The whole team seems to be on board with this approach and have made the whole musical a bit of a family affair. The crew has been united behind the folky character- driven show that they want to create.

This enthusiasm for the source material has been passed on to the energetic cast, who even after 5 hours of rehearsal are still scarily bubbly and enthusiastic.

This was particularly noticeable after Duff asked the cast to “have fun with it”. They certainly took that direction.

None more so than Stella Merz, portraying Tevye’s wife Golde, whose face lit up with the prospect and whose claim that one of the character’s wives was “a bitch…bitter old woman” had the whole cast, and me, in hysterics. The eponymous fiddler, played by Michael Poon, also went for his part with gusto and had everyone gaping at his skill as he deftly danced and played.

From the reactions they are getting from the crew, the cast certainly seem

to be doing something right. “They have been really great,” says Duff, “everyone is meshing so well”. Meshing is an important word for this cast who have been drawn from all parts of the University, from almost every theatre company, whether they are musical or not. “Everyone has been pushing everyone else,” says Duff, “people have different strengths and people feed off that energy.”

In this show there seems to be a massive learning curve but also a lot of support, even for those who have not sung before. “Lots of people get scared at the thought of singing,” muses Bjelis, “but if I’m telling you you can sing - I’m not being big headed or anything - but you can sing.” And they certainly can. With time to spare before the opening night, iconic numbers such as 'Sunrise Sunset' and 'Anatevka' can already bring a tear to the eye and the faster numbers such as 'To Life' are raucous and fun.

Of course, shows like this are not all about music and acting but also about choreography, which has been taken on

by Miriam Early, affectionately called Mim. “[It's] the little dance moves that make the show come alive,” beams Duff “Mim really is a genius.” This is not a surprising statement as the choreographer has taken such a diverse group of people and taught them all how to dance. This is especially impressive considering that such a large part of the cast have never before been involved with this kind of work. “Watching people who have never danced before has been incredible,” says Duff, “the crossover with the [Edinburgh] Footlights has been a great help with our routines”.

Overall, the whole show is looking touching, fun, and promises to light up poverty stricken 1905 Russia with both up-tempo singing and heartfelt tragedy.

STEPHANIE DEES: NEW PAINTING

ing. The untouched snow tempts the viewer. The sensation of being the first to step into fresh snow is universally enjoyed. The paintings dare us to stride into the landscape and experience the emptiness.

The Scottish Gallery Until 30 November



T

he Scottish Gallery is bright and airy with large windows looking out onto the street. The upstairs room is stuffed full with Stephanie Dees’ wintry Edinburgh-scapes: an Edinburgh that freshers like me have yet to experience.

The slanting uniform townhouses are juxtaposed with naturally unique trees; branches spreading like fingers, thin and spindly.

With a keen eye for detail, Dees conveys these with simple brush strokes or single lines. Her paintings explore the streets we live in; they could even be considered voyeuristic. They would be more so if there were any figures in the paintings– but the streets are left empty. The only signs of human life are alluded to in the subtle, unobtrusive lights of curtained windows. The snowscape paintings are much like Christmas cards without the clichéd decorations and happy children.

Empty benches often feature, sitting uninhabited and lonely, yet invit-

Fiddler on the Roof is running from the 22nd-26th November at the Pleasance Theatre (£8/£5).

“

Her paintings explore the streets we live in; they could even be considered voyeuristic."

Downstairs is a collection of ceramics by Sutton Taylor: an array of pieces using lustre glazes, bright colours and mottled patterns. Two particularly beautiful examples are perfectly round with a healthy solidity whilst keeping a thin, gentle texture. There are two obvious themes; the first brighter, thicker and heavier with a camouflage style glaze. These are stimulating but a little garish. The second style is gentler, using a subtler speckled glaze that catches the light with metallic shine. These focus on the line between control and chaos: the shapes themselves are controlled and delicate whilst the glazes are like fire, full of copper and gold.

HAVING A WEE FIDDLE: The fiddler watches over the little village of Anatevka The gallery also boasts a small collection of jewellery including some big names; Wendy Ramshaw, Guy Royal and Paul Preston to name a few. With these kinds of names comes a hefty price tag as can be said for all the pieces. Although this gallery does have charm and the work is certainly noteworthy, visitors to Dundas Street can’t help but notice that these galleries, in the sense of being almost totally ruled by commerciality, are somewhat clone-like.

Troy Holmes

THE CAUCASIAN CHALK CIRCLE Bedlam Theate Run Ended



B

recht can present a challenge to the most hardened of theatre-goers. Overflowing with detailed symbolism and harsh, staccato dialogue, the German playwright’s aspiration to make the audience aware that they are watching a play can make his work pretty tough going if badly executed.

It was a relief, therefore, that Caroline Alff 's production of The Caucasian Chalk Circle was crisp and engaging, carried by a strong cast.

Centring on the themes of morality, justice and the question of nature vs. nurture, the play depicts the fable of a peasant girl, Grusha, who rescues a baby and becomes a better mother to the child than its natural parents.

“

The overall protestor-camp feel of the band highlighted the tragic class disparities onstage effectively."

There were many comic moments throughout this cathartic piece. Most notable was the lamentable inability of Lavrenti, Grusha’s brother, to stand up to his wife: “She has a good heart, but only after supper”, and the arrival of the fickle Adzdak in the second half, played spectacularly by Greg Lass. There were also some tender scenes, with the compassionate relationship between Grusha (Sophie Pemberton) and Simon Chachava, her husband-to-be returning

danielalexanderharris photography

Thom Louis� has a laugh and a sing-song with the production team of Pleasance theatre's new musical

from war (Martin MacLennan), having particular electricity.

A band of travelling musicians are central to this work, providing a voice for the characters’ thoughts. This production eschewed Brecht’s original score; instead it utilised a band consisting of guitar, flute, violin and cello, accompanying the narrative singer with an original accompaniment. Although the musical motifs became a little repetitive towards the end of the evening, the overall protestorcamp feel of the band highlighted the tragic class disparities onstage effectively.

This had a pertinent resonance within the context of recent global events.

The stage was dominated by an impressive Aztec-arch structure, which served as both a gateway and gallows.

There was also no shortage of clever symbolism. From the innovative use of coloured hats to denote class status and chalk scribblings on the scenery, to the flaunting of the king’s decapitated head, offal-like, in a bag: the audience was never detached from stark reminders of Brecht’s Marxism.

This was a bold, persuasive rendition, which managed both to entertain and to leave the audience mulling over the human disposition to behave selfishly.

John Hewitt-Jones

Theatre buff? Review it! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21 21 Star Rating Mother superior Monastic fantastic Convent-ional Novice sister Absolute nun-sense

Back in the habit

ROYGBIV This week's cultural spectrum.

Melissa Geere discovers that nuns can dance too in Sister Act: the musical

N

uns in musicals is always a winning formula. There's something about that combination of piety and extravagance that equals pure entertainment, and the adaptation to stage of the 90's film Sister Act is no exception.

“

The best stories are often born from the most ridiculous concepts. Having witnessed her gangster boyfriend commit murder, brazen wannabe singer Deloris is forced to disguise herself as a nun for her protection.

Entering a convent, she manages to reinvent its choir into a gospel sensation. She thereby simultaneously saves the convent from closure, finds the true friends she never had in her reckless former life, and empowers

Trees For Life Out of the Blue Gallery Run Ended



T

his is one of those occasions in which social networks have proven to be an extremely positive media: it is in fact mainly through Facebook and Twitter that Art in Healthcare organised a charity exhibition for Trees for Life.

Professional and amateur artists from all over the world have generously donated their works, which were on sale for £45 at the Art in Healthcare headquarters last week. 100% of the sales will go to Trees for Life, towards helping replenish the Caledonian forest.

The success of this exhibition was obvious even before it started. The sale was in fact opened online a few days before the launch, and some of the pieces were already marked with a red dot before the opening night. This included the impressionist-style Spring Blooms by Nithya Swaminathan, from Germany, which was among the most popular works for the people who waited for the opening before making their choice. All the pieces were forest-related, but various types of forests were represented: the

A HOLY AURA? : The sisters show off their blinding sparkle talented women of the cloth. Meanwhile a well-meaning but unassertive cop tries to protect her from the retribution of her murderous ex. Doesn't it sound like the perfect recipe for feel-good fun?

To people who have seen and loved more classic European works, with the well-known green woods, were very different from the series of paintings

by Rukmunal Hakim, from Indonesia, which feature tigers, monkeys and rhinos.

The pieces comprised various techniques and styles: from faithful representations of trees to more abstract or allegorical pieces – and even poems.

Lovely jewellery was on sale as well.

The works were on a small scale, which made things generally more affordable; however it was noted that some works would have had a much bigger impact on a larger scale. The pieces were displayed in an orderly manner which allowed visitors to easily peruse the display and look closely at them all; although some of them were slightly obscured in dark corners (or in some cases, behind the wine table). Art in Healthcare Executive Director and artist Trevor Jones also had some of his prints on sale, one of which was the first prize of the raffle held on the opening night.

Overall, this exhibition is worth visiting not only because of the quality of the works, but because it proves how powerful art can be when put on display for a good cause.

Sara Pierdominici

Grand Theatre

Moral objection to glitter aside, the production really cannot be faulted."

the film, be aware that they have collapsed the plot to its bare bones to make room for all the singing, dancing, and snappy one-liners. On the plus side, minor characters such as 'Sweaty' Eddie the policeman are given some exposition, but the result is that Deloris'

Watching the detective Traverse Theatre Run Ended

P

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addy Cunneen’s probing black comedy Watching the Detective invites the audience, at one point quite literally, on to the stage and into a murder scene.

The audience instantly becomes part of the play, as the Detective, played by Stuart Bowman, weaves his way across the stage and through the audience with a quantity of crime scene barrier tape. The audience inclusion remains constant; this is highlighted through frequent interactions with the Detective that encourage individuals to discuss what they believe is happening in the scene. Clearly this is a play designed to challenge the audience, make them think and force them to actively participate in the experience.

A parody of the many detective dramas on television today, Watching the Detective is a cleverly written, multi-layered script in which, as the Detective repeats throughout the play, "it isn’t what is true that is important, but what people believe to be true". The plot dances through every detective cliché there is,

Why Brutalism is Beautiful

transformation of herself and others, and her developing relationship with the Mother Superior, are frustratingly rushed through, diminishing the emotional sting of the closing scenes.

It is also important that nuns should get groovy without losing sight of the fact that they're praising God. They can't just turn into attention-loving, booty-shaking dancers. While there is no problem putting nuns in glittery outfits for a West End show, we must remember that they are still supposed to be nuns, not showgirls.

Moral objection to glitter aside, the production really cannot be faulted. The actors were excellent, the costumes were fabulous and the choreography was original. Every song is packed with spirit, especially the hit number 'Raise your Voice'.

The irresistible sight of nuns finding their boogie will warm your heart and keep your foot tapping all night long.

As Deloris teaches us, the first rule of singing is to “get the rafters ringin'” and these nuns do exactly that. peppered with comic observations and a delicious final plot twist that will leave you questioning your own judgment and psychology.

Bowman’s quiet, intense, yet steely detective is well done, though at times a slightly broader range of emotions would have provided the character with more depth. The decision to use a microphone in such a small space is interesting and works well. It allows a more naturalistic, almost film like, quality to the acting, which compliments the television genre that the play parodies.

The tech and set were minimal; subtly aiding the narrative and allowing the script and acting to take centre stage. The stark, red light hovering over the body throughout the play adds an element of the macabre and builds the atmosphere of mystery so key to this production. There was one brief blip with the microphone that caused a few lines to be lost, but this was quickly rectified and everything else ran smoothly.

A cleverly written script combined with a strong performance from Bowman makes Watching the Detective an enjoyable, thought provoking piece of new theatre and a marvellous way to spend a lunch break.

Madeleine Ash

THE ART DOCTOR with Anna Feintuck

Last week, the Chief Executive of English Heritage, Dr Simon Thurley, gave a lecture at Durham University entitled The Pendulum of Taste: Architecture and the Rise of a State Aesthetic. In it, he put forward the idea that we still do not have an adequate framework for discussing architectural quality. Experts have particular types of analytical discourse that they can use, he suggested, but the public are often left wondering why certain buildings are revered or reviled. George Square’s David Hume Tower, for example, was listed in 2006 and many people wonder why: few people would call it beautiful.

Likewise, Sheffield’s Park Hill - a grade two listed building - which is, visually, popularly accepted as being something of a monstrosity.

Both of these buildings were designed and erected in the aftermath of WW2 and are prime examples of the Brutalist movement. Its name needs little explanation, but, perhaps because of it, the movement’s structures have been misrepresented and unfairly vilified. The buildings look brutal, yes, but in naming them for how they appear, we reinforce the idea that the visual facets of architecture are the most important.

The value of buildings is all too often based, in the popular conscience, on their aesthetic appeal – or lack thereof.

In the case of Brutalism, there is a lot to love beyond the stark grey walls.

Dr Thurley suggests that establishing value requires a more complex classification system than currently exists in the public sphere. He presented a condensed version of the criteria English Heritage use when deciding which buildings are listed, or, in some cases, unlisted. This includes considerations such as whether a building is a particularly striking or early example of a movement’s architecture, and, tellingly, how socially important the building is.

This is where the beauty of Brutalism becomes obvious: it is fundamentally functional. A building’s aesthetic qualities were hardly going to be important in a landscape of bombed out ruins.

What Britain needed was buildings that provided public services: housing blocks, libraries, council buildings, and so on. They did not need to be visually pleasing, they needed to help the country get back on its feet as quickly as possible. Brutalism achieves every one of its aims and, in doing so, is part of our social and cultural heritage. Its value is in what it represents: stability, survival and strength.

Anna Feintuck

This week: plumbing problems, electrocution and El Greco's candles I woke up this morning with water pouring through my bathroom ceiling, right through the light fitting. I’m left with the difficult situation of having to either risk electrocution or shower in the dark, both of which aren’t very pleasant.

We can’t get an emergency plumber. How can I be safe and hygienic?

Showering in the dark needn’t necessarily be unhygienic – you do, presumably, know where your various body parts are without having to look for them. Just in case, however, nudes

could help you out. Instead of going for the obvious (Michelangelo and so on), I'd suggest you have a look at something like Degas’ Woman Drying Herself (particularly illuminating in the case of the location of your bottom) or, for a wider variety of anatomical features, William McCance’s The Awakening. Also, eighteenth-century anatomical engravings are informative in many ways, but may also leave you traumatised, so perhaps stay away from them if you're feeling sensitive.

That said, there’s an obvious solution here: candles. There’s a huge amount of candle-related art out

Look oot for...

there, but my favourite has always been El Greco’s An Allegory (Fàbula). Cast yourself as the monkey, with its wise, inquisitive little face. If anyone can find a solution to your problem, it’s this little guy. Or just go to the pound shop – you can get a lot of tea lights for your money.

Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially.

And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.

We will be interviewing Edinburgh based artist Perter Standen in anticipation of his first exhibition of his etchings and paintings portraying the consequences of global warming ( showing at the Henderson Gallery from the 19th November).

Alice Livingstone

Dear Art Doctor,

EUTC are putting on absurdist comedy 7 stories for one performance at 2.30pm on the 16th at Bedlam Theatre.

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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JOANNA LISOWIEC

22

Eclipsing sexuality

DISAPPOINTED: Taylor Lautner would have been much better

immortals Directed by tarsem singh  heseus (Henry Cavill) is a simple T peasant boy, who, after suffering the demise of his people under the foot

of King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke), is chosen by Zeus to lead the fight back.

Theseus is joined by thief, Stavros (Stephen Dorff ) and Oracle, Phaedra (Freida Pinto), as they attempt to retrieve a lost weapon able to release the Titans and lead to the demise of the whole ancient world.

From the producers of 300, Immortals pitches itself as an ancient epic akin to Clash of the Titans, and although the

arthur christmas Directed by sarah smith  hether a Christmas film succeeds W or fails really comes down to the answer to one question: does the movie

manage to get you into the Christmas spirit? Classic Christmas films like Miracle on 34th Street will persuade even the most cynical scrooge to throw on a Santa hat, swig back the eggnog and bop round the Christmas tree, whereas an inferior Christmas film like the horrifying Four Christmases will leave you longing for January. Arthur Christmas - the new animation from Aardman Studios - is not a perfect film but it still wholeheartedly succeeds in that all-important task of getting its audience in the Christmas mood (even

geegygirlslovescifi

With Breaking Dawn Part 1 coming out next week, Tess Malone explores slutshaming in the Twilight Series "If this is about my soul, take it! I don’t want it!”This is not the average fight that a teenage girl has with her boyfriend about losing her virginity. If your boyfriend is vampire Edward Cullen, though, getting intimate, when a French kiss could lead to a fang kiss and your untimely death, is awkward. An “it’s complicated” relationship status doesn’t even begin to cover it; it’s tough to be Bella Swan.

When the series starts, the only thing impressive about Bella is her extensive flannel shirt collection. After she falls “irrevocably” in love with Edward, suddenly she has a special identity as the “chick who runs with vampires”; as if finding a boyfriend is the only way for a teenage girl to find herself. What Bella should be discovering and accepting is her sexuality, but when getting a mere paper cut can lead your boyfriend’s vampire family into a homicidal frenzy, spilling any virgin blood is out of the question. Bella and Edward are still horny 17-year-olds though (Edward may be dead, but he’s not that dead) and the one time when they try to get it on, Edward yells “Stop!”

He praises himself for his sexual restraint “I’m stronger than I thought,”prompting Bella to respond that she “wishes I could say the same.” Effectively, Edward slutshames her for having a libido. This outrageous underwear scene is a microcosm for the entire series where each phase of the moon seems to eclipse Bella’s sexuality and ultimately, agency.

spirit of 300 is present in the action scenes, it pines for a much more Jason and the Argonauts feel. The film, however, stumbles right out of the blocks, quickly becoming boring and as laughable as the Lady Gaga-style headgear everybody seems to be adorning. Some of the set pieces are impressive, but there is nothing mind-blowing or revolutionary here. In fact, some of the only original moments in this movie seem to be those that contain splatter-tastic violence; something that is completely removed from a story that you’d think would be more at home with a younger audience. One must ask, with a 15 certificate, who is this movie really for?

It is apparent that all Mickey Rourke seems to have done to earn his fee demonstrate his ability to eat in every scene and act akin to a sack of

grumbling potatoes. This, coupled with Gods who have seemingly no personalities, creates a very bland feel which suffocates the whole movie. Some of the slow motion combat scenes do add a bit of excitement, but you feel like you’ve seen it all before and they leave you wishing that it was King Leonidas up on screen.

Although Immortals certainly contains more Titans than last year’s summer blockbuster, it adds nothing to a genre that appears over-exploited, instead seeming destined for the bin.

Depressingly, it will most likely make its money back, thus leaving us with nothing we can do but pray that Hollywood finds some sense and stops spoon-feeding us more garbage like this.

James Mann

if there are a whole 6 weeks to go until the day).

Arthur Christmas tells the tale of Santa’s youngest son – the clumsy but loveable Arthur (voiced by James McAvoy). Christmas has become a rather charmless military-style operation in recent years and is organised with precision by Santa’s favoured son Steve (Hugh Laurie). However, when this regimented system fails and a child is left without a present from Santa, it is left to Arthur and his elderly grandfather to jump in a sleigh, save the day and bring the magic back to Christmas.

Aardman are renowned for their creativity and Arthur Christmas’ biggest strength is its inventiveness. The film is full of witty and imaginative scenes, especially those which take place when Arthur and Grandsanta are travelling around the world trying to deliver the

forgotten present. Although more famed for their stop-motion animation, Aardman have created some really beautiful and detailed digital animation here and the scene where Santa’s sleigh soars through the Aurora is guaranteed to take your breath away.

The main problem with Arthur Christmas is that it doesn’t quite manage to strike the balance of being simultaneously entertaining for both children and adults. Although some humour will appeal to all of the family, a lot of the film’s jokes will either seem tedious to adults or go right over children’s heads.

Arthur Christmas may not be a flawless piece of family entertainment but is still a thoroughly heart warming affair and a welcome addition to the Christmas film genre.

Sally Pugh

Edward claims his misogyny is to “protect” Bella because she’s his “only reason to stay alive”, thus making it seem like Bella’s sole purpose in life is to love Edward. This creates a paradox when Edward leaves her after the aforementioned deadly dinner party in New Moon.

“

As if this paranormal pissing contest couldn't get any worse, Edward forces Bella into the ultimate patriarchal trapmarriage. " After spending a few months in a catatonic state, Bella shacks up with another catch, Jacob, the werewolf with anger management issues. The werewolf pack leader’s fiancée is permanently scarred when her boyfriend lost his temper; this is the definition of an abusive relationship. Nevertheless, without Jacob, Bella “can’t stand it”; failing to see the irony that her life is only harder given her paranormal paramours.

Bella’s lovelorn desperation reaches such an extreme that she leaps off a cliff just to hallucinate Edward telling her not to do it; still the patriarchal voice of restraint even when he’s not present. After this seemingly suicidal jaunt,

romantics anonymous Directed by Jean-Pierre AmÉRIS  here was a noticeable atmosphere T of excitement in the audience, and it was easy to tell why. Being giv-

en chocolates at the door, and having people on the stage preparing to give speeches, it was clear that this was not just any film; it was the beginning of something very exciting, and potentially chocolate-filled. The French Film Festival (or La Fête du Cinéma) was about to start its 19th year running. Cue a few opening speeches, one of which was from the director of the film: Jean-Pierre Améris (whose other work includes C’est la Vie and Poids Léger). Then the curtains were drawn, and without trailers or any further ado, the film began.

Romantics Anonymous is a sweet film about two eccentric people: Angelique Delange (Isabelle Carre) and Jean-Rene Van Den Hugde (Benoit Poelvoorde). We watch each battle with peculiar but crippling fears, and their retrospective ways of dealing with them – Jean-Rene with a therapist, and Angelique, a support group: Les Emotifes Anonymes (the Romantics Anonymous). Angelique tries, with the backing of her group, for a job as a chocolatier in a chocolate company (The Chocolate Mill).

However, once she realises that the job was for a chocolate seller rather than creator, she tries to resign but is

Edward wants to kill himself too, which in its Romeo & Juliet fashion rekindles their relationship. They should’ve kept Shakespeare’s original ending. As his sister Alice scolds Bella, “I’ve never met anyone more prone to life-threatening idiocy”, which explains why she gets back together with Edward in Eclipse.

In Eclipse, the most charming sides of her love interests are exposed. Jacob is a stalker who Bella has to punch in the face to get him to stop kissing her, breaking her hand in the altercation. Edward is more subtly threatening, disabling the engine in Bella’s car so she cannot see Jacob. As if this paranormal pissing contest couldn’t get any worse, Edward forces Bella into the ultimate patriarchal trap – marriage. She tries to barter sex for her hand, but Edward gets the best of her by slutshaming her in his proposal.

Bella jokes, “I’m a villain trying to steal your virtue”, but Edward responds that he is more concerned about ������������� “������������ her virtue��”� than his. After they’re married in Breaking Dawn, it’s fine if Edward gives Bella bruises during sex and impregnates her with a cannibalistic baby, but before Bella would have been a fallen woman.

How did Mormon Stephenie Meyer manage to write about virginal vampires when they’re considered to be metaphors for sex? Even more puzzling, how is such a Victorian series successful in the 21st Century? Oh yes, it's because Hollywood is stuck back in the dark ages.

halted when Jean-Rene (her boss and the owner of the company) asks her to dinner (a task set by his therapist).

What ensues is a charming and awkward journey, as we watch their relationship blossom into something more…and then fade, and then blossom again. Some particularly memorable scenes include their first dinner date, with Jean-Rene continually running to the toilet to change shirts and listen to bolstering audio books (���������������������������������� “��������������������������������� I am a volcano!������������������ ”����������������� ), and the sheer awkwardness when they go away for a chocolate competition and realise they have to share the same room, leading to a walk in the pouring rain to avoid it.

The compelling nature of this film lies in each character’s assumption that the other is fully competent, and the slow realisation that they are both just as afraid and neurotic as each other. The film, although bizarre and eccentric, still maintains a realistic worldview. This is shown in the ending of the film; the protagonists are not ‘cured’ of their woes by finally being together, but instead know that as long as they have each other to lean on, they need not be as afraid. Its only fault is that you do not find out quite enough about the characters; a bit more depth and information about their pasts and futures would be welcome. Other than that, it is simple, funny and a little bit wonderful, though one should be prepared to leave the cinema desperately craving chocolate.

Shoshana Kessler

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Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

Film 23 THE RUM DIARY Directed by bRUCE ROBINSON

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hirteen years on from his starring role in the adaptation of Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Johnny Depp pays further homage in The Rum Diary. He has been the driving force behind this adaptation of one of Thompson’s early novels, written in the 1960s but not published until 1998.

Depp was Bruce Robinson’s main motivation to take on the project, his last film being Jennifer Eight in 1992.

Depp’s heart is certainly in the venture- his real life friendship with Thompson showing through. He gives a droll, understated performance as the journalist, Paul Kemp, who relocates from New York to Puerto Rico to work for a major newspaper. The editor and his journalists are going through the motions, printing the stories their American audience want to read while trying to enjoy the island life, principally through the medium of rum.

The opening scene sets the tone for the rest of the film; Kemp gets out of bed, staggers to the window and, as he tears open the curtains, the light reveals a bruised lip and a bloodshot eye. The ac-

tion revolves around drinking and, while it does not reach Fear and Loathing levels of debauchery, it is creative enough to keep you entertained. Sala (Michael Rispoli), Kemp’s partner in crime, is a strong supporting character, while Moburg (Giovanni Ribisi) is a Nazi fanatic whose alcoholism adds a tragi-comic dimension.

The Rum Diary is not a straightforward comedy – it would be doing Thompson an enormous disservice if it was. Kemp is looking for a serious story and stumbles across a wealthy businessman, Sanderson (Aaron Eckhart), who plans to fraudulently develop an untouched island into a lucrative tourist resort. Kemp’s interest in the project is understandably enhanced by the proximity of Sanderson’s beautiful girlfriend, Chenault (Amber Heard).

Robinson maintains a strong atmosphere and utilises the setting well, perfectly recreating a degraded paradise. The Rum Diary is a vibrant and entertaining film and, while it lacks an edge and cannot match Thompson’s energy, it is nevertheless a worthwhile adaptation.

Robert Dickie

All films were reviewed at Cineworld

wuthering heights Directed bY ANDREA ARNOLD

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ike its two famous lovers, this adaptation goes wildly off the beaten track and wades recklessly into the mud without a second thought for convention. Handheld cameras, sheep slaughter and a gratifying amount of swearing take the viewer far from the comforting parlours of traditional period drama (but don’t worry, there’s still a good quota of billowing white shirts).

To be honest, this is a relief. Wuthering Heights just isn’t the sort of novel that can be pinned down into a screenplay. Director Andrea Arnold presents barely any dialogue, instead relying on breathtaking cinematography and unflinching realism. The lack of music, and eerie, unwavering background noise of wind, add to the sense of isolation.

Told from the perspective of a savage but enthralling Heathcliff, the film asks if wild things can ever be tamed, whether cruelty pays, and if social boundaries can be transcended. Such a dark story needs generous lashings of rain, wind, mud and blood; for this reason the film sometimes feels more

like a war film than a romance. But most memorable are the moments of sensitivity and stillness between the two heroes.

As a child, outsider Heathcliff ’s only friend is the wild young Cathy, with whom he shares a reckless passion for roaming outdoors. When their love, impenetrable and unfathomable to those around them, is rent apart, Heathcliff ’s devastation knows no bounds; he begins to wreak havoc on the lives of all who live in this isolated corner of the Yorkshire moors.

The film would not have suffered if half the shots of Heathcliff languishing in the rain had been replaced with a bit of extra dialogue. There was also a disappointing lack of passion in the grown-up actors during the second half, so that their all-consuming lovehate relationship is rather understated by the end.

This film will not have you weeping with anguish over a love which cannot be contained by this world. Instead it focuses on what a brutal place the world can be when you have known happiness and lost it. You will leave the cinema feeling cold, wet and miserable.

But every Edinburgh resident knows that, now and then, that’s good for the soul.

Melissa Amy Geere

Based on a true story Dan Scott Lintott examines the recent surge in novel adaptations

tation of novels into films. Moreover, to make an arguably large generalisation, the majority of better recent films were originally much-loved hardbacks. Jane Eyre, We Need to Talk About Kevin and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy are just a few examples of converted novels that have become some of the most compelling films of the last few months. Even The Ides of March was loosely based on a play. Oddly, the phrase ‘loosely based’ underpins this whole notion, cropping up in the credits even when you expect it the least.

So why has this method of filmmaking become so widespread? Well, the concept is not entirely new. Ever since the birth of cinema, novels have provided great inspiration for films. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is a gothic novel that was turned into an early horror film.

In this case, the film is more of a conceptual adaptation, as opposed to perhaps the particular chronology of events. It is easy to see the appeal of producing a visual representation of a novel’s ideas.

Often interesting novels are, at their heart, good stories or ideas. So when a director decides to use an idea or story, the plot, characters and script are essentially taken care of without too much effort; this is not, of course, to demean the task of reworking a text for a film.

However, this recent surge in adaptations for the screen might suggest an increasing reluctance to write original films. In a sense, films that fall into the ‘loosely based’ category can be directly contrasted with films that have an original idea behind them. Inception is a phenomenal film with a unique concept behind it and it appears designed specifically for the screen. It incorporates outlandish special effects, but also manages to focus on the complex events that form the ingenious narrative. Quentin

FEAR AND LOATHING: Depp was really sick of those pesky anti-smoking campaigns Tarantino has also written some fantastic films; funny, often gruesome but always wonderfully original.

Films like these highlight the difference between the film that has been adapted and the film that has been newly contrived. Obviously, originality is not everything, as this topic can raise its own issues on what is truly original, but the basic difference between the two types of film is clear.

Despite the appeal of originality, there have been numerous films that have been brilliantly adapted from novels. A Clockwork Orange uses Alex’s voiceover to generate an equally unreliable and haunting narrative, which shows us his warped world almost as effectively as Burgess’s novel. Similarly, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is

a worthy attempt to convert Hunter S. Thompson’s drug-addled mind into an equally chaotic piece of cinema.

However, often film adaptations seek to take advantage of an already established commercial demographic. The Harry Potter and Twilight franchises are an excellent example of a series of books that have spawned films off the wave of their popularity. There are undoubtedly economic motives behind these, but maybe it is just a ‘magical’ experience to see the images of the text manifest in a tangible form. Unfortunately, direct adaptations such as these have a nasty habit of entailing a mob of unimpressed fans that have to suffer the most unforgettable moment of the whole book cut out. This is a genuine concern, as when adapting novels there is a danger of

Loftcinema

brief glance at recent releases in A cinema will reveal an undeniable trend; a distinct popularity for the adap-

butchering the beloved characters that people hold dear or omitting arguably crucial parts. Films should be received as fundamentally different entities, allowing appreciation in their own right, not just as a direct copy of a novel.

Ultimately, this difference is paramount to the contrast between adaptation and originality. Whilst films that are based on, or directly adapted from, novels can be critically acclaimed, an originally written film can be more admirable in its creativity. A film that has been written from the ground up, specifically for the visual medium it was intended for, can be much more compelling than the direct adaptation of a text.

If authors can produce original work, then why can more film-makers not do the same?

Classic Cult “Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke-heads” laments Veronica Sawyer to her diary in Heathers (1988), the ultimate film about frenemies and funerals. In a nutshell, this film could be called Meaner Girls. Winona Ryder was born to play the sardonic, eye-rolling insider who’s secretly an outsider. With her partner in crime, the brooding and somewhat psychotic J.D. (played by Christian Slater who, let’s face it, was a total fox back then), she begins killing her idolised classmates and faking their suicides, for reasons she doesn’t quite understand. As she notes, “My teen angst bullshit has a body count”; not only is this one of the most quotable movies ever, it is a hilariously scathing depiction of adolescent love and the brutality of the high school experience. There are many imitations, such as Jawbreaker (1999), but few come close to its brilliance.

It’s tempting to say that the genre of angsty teen movies is over-saturated. There are the awesome, the awful, the “so bad it’s almost good” and of course, the “so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again”.

Ghost World (2001) is unarguably in the awesome category. Based on Daniel Clowes’ iconic comic book, it charts the mundanities and isolation of suburban teenagedom, with Thora Birch (as Enid Coleslaw - coolest name ever) and Scarlett Johansson doing their best smartass ‘yoof ’ impressions. Key moments include the opening sequence of Bollywood bedroom dancing, Enid being fired from the cinema’s concession counter after one day, and dyeing her hair green: “It’s not like I’m a modern punk, it’s obviously a 1977 original punk-rock look”.

For greater mystery and melancholy, The Virgin Suicides (1999) takes a lot to beat. Sofia Coppola’s directorial debut is now a fullyfledged tumblr cliché thanks to a soft-focus style and the Lisbon sisters’ ability to look incredible in floor-length vintage nighties. It’s coming-of-age without coming on too strong; haunting and voyeuristic, yet darkly humorous. No other film shows just how much a girl’s bedroom can be the centre of her universe. You know when your parents say that your teenage years are the best of your life? Suggest they watch this film and they might remember how claustrophobic and powerless it feels to be young.

Every teenage girl wishes she were a witch at some point; films like The Craft (1999) explore this collective dream and inspired girls to ‘go goth’ in the nineties, adopting uniforms of doc martens, black crop tops, and way too much eyeliner. Magical powers are a tempting thought for dealing with life’s sometimes overwhelming problems, but of course, they end up ostracising the coven from their school peers even further. As Nancy says, “We are the weirdos, Mister”.

Kirsty Wareing

Film Night

Come along to Teviot Balcony Room at 8pm on Thursday 17 November for our first Film Night! For £2 we'll be screening Heathers and fulfilling your popcorn needs. Everyone's welcome!

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

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24 Music

Noel country for old men

Phil Smith checks out Noel Gallagher's latest solo foray at Edinburgh's Usher Hall, and finds him back to his best

theatrical touches make it seem more suitable for a visit of the RSC, than an artist who has sold 55 million records, and sold out stadium after stadium for 20 years. On reflection, however, it is a master stroke. Gallagher and his adoring fans are closer now than they have ever been, and the atmosphere this creates is both electric and intoxicating. If Beady Eye was the dreaded hangover after the glorious night before - a needless travesty on a par with Rocky VI and the fourth Indiana Jones, - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds is the renaissance fans could barely have dreamt of.

“

'Wonderwall' sparks the usual routine of grown men on the verge of tears; before the set reaches another level with an acoustic 'Supersonic'" Despite a fairly slow start, not helped by a warm up act, who attempt, somewhat excruciatingly, to fire up the Scottish crowd by announcing their love of The Proclaimers, Gallagher ignites the crowd with a track

from his new album, “Everybody's on the Run”. Despite the album having being released for a mere seven days, every word of every track is roared back at him, testament to the idol status he has earned amongst his fans.

Gallagher plays a few more new tracks to the delight of those gathered in the hall, before playing his trump card half way through the set.

Although there was never any doubt as to who was centre stage previously, the rest of the High Flying Birds leave the stage, allowing the spotlight to descend (literally) on Gallagher. An acoustic version of “Wonderwall” sparks the usual routine of reducing grown men to the verge of tears; before the set reaches another level with an acoustic “Supersonic”, Oasis’s first ever single. This arrangement, a real pearl, brings Mrs Gallagher to her feet, but it is difficult to know who adores Noel more – his wife, or the drunken man to her right, unashamedly screaming: “I Love You Noel” over the edge of the grand circle.

In a small but splendid arena such as this, the love for Gallagher seems stronger than ever, and as “Supersonic” reaches its conclusion, it really feels like it could be 1994 again.

In the same way it felt so fresh then, Gallagher’s rearrangement leads you to think something is starting again.

Helen stride

t first glance, Usher Hall seems A a strange venue for a Noel Gallagher set. Its quaint nature and

Live

The rest of the set adds to this growing impression that Gallagher is reigniting the passion amongst himself and his fans with his new work. New tracks “What a Life”, and “Broken Arrow” sound more anthemic than anything that preceded his solo album, and are intertwined expertly with the calmer, but no less exquisite Oasis tracks, “Talk Tonight” and “Half The World Away”.

The encore is a throwback to the previous era: “Don’t Look Back in Anger”, “The Importance of Being Idle”, and finally, “Little By Little”, produce a sing-along of proportions Usher Hall has probably rarely witnessed in its long and proud history. Cue the predictable but delightful cocktail of tears and hugging amongst complete strangers all over the room.

Gallagher himself is a long way from the fiery and outspoken off stage character people have grown to love and hate. Calm and collected, his longest speech is to dedicate the immensely popular new track, “If I Had a Gun”, to his “lovely wife”. Humorous chants of “Who The Fuck are Beady Eye?” from sections of the crowd are batted away with a diplomatic reply of “Come on boys, behave yourself ”.

Favourite Album Hot Club De Paris

The Darkness HMV Picture House 9 November

Live At Dead Lake MOSHI MOSHI

 easy to forget just how big Iearlyt’sThenoughties, Darkness were back in the although a quick look

around the t-shirts on display tonight quickly reminds you. Last time The Darkness were on the road they were playing multiple nights at Wembley Arena. Tonight’s more modest surroundings should however be a good test of whether they’ve still got it.

“

Justin Hawkins seems to be back to his best, and when he disappers off stage an hour in and reappers in one of his trademark leotards it feels like he never left" The proceedings begin with opening support band Crown Jewel Defence who do a decent job of starting things off. Foxy Shazam are up next and their set of glorious camp fun quickly wins them a few new fans.

Front man Eric Sean Nally’s boundless energy sees him forward rolling, doing handstands and all sorts during their short set. If you get a chance, check

or most people, favourite records F are tied to memories: the first CD you bought, the song you listened to

at the high-school prom or the album your parents would always play in the car on long drives to distant relatives’ houses.

Live at Dead Lake is a record that looks back at a misspent teenage era and rejects its honey-soaked recollections as sugar-coated nostalgia.

'TACHES OF DEATH: The Darkness support Movember these guys out as it won’t be long till they're headlining these events.

The main event trumps it all however. Coming out to the riotous, “Black Shuck”, The Darkness quickly remind you just how good a debut album Permission to Land was. Other bands would kill to have a greatest hits set as strong as that selection.

Therefore it’s no surprise that when The Darkness move away from it the crowd noticeably quietens. However each time they return to classics like: “Growing On Me”, “Get Your Hands Off My Woman”, and “Love is Only a Feeling”, the crowd come straight back in. Justin Hawkins seems to be back to his best and when he disappears off stage an hour in and reappears in one of his trademark leotards it feels like he never left. Finishing

with the lethal combination of “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”, and “Love On The Rocks With No Ice”, Hawkins ended proceedings on a final solo, whilst riding through the crowd on someone’s shoulders to the delight of his fans.

The Darkness are a nostalgia act, there’s no doubt about it. However if they can keep up live shows like this, and release an album even half as good as their first, they can easily retake their former position. For the moment, the crowd of sweaty smiling faces suggests this comeback is rolling on.

Stuart Iversen

“

The melodies on Live At Dead Lake are a zoetrope of twangs and tweaks, culminating in a constant torrent of delicious math rock" Hot Club de Paris’ revolving, fizzing, geometric guitar riffs – the core of their glucose-infused indie rock – spin faster and faster like some possessed musical whirligig, only just staying within the realms of control. The melodies on Dead Lake are a zoetrope of twangs and tweaks, culminating in a constant torrent of delicious math rock.

Listening for the first time to this album – over a long summer holiday

Nevertheless, it is worth noting he allows the chants to ring around for a good minute or so, and isn’t exactly hasty in preventing his brother from becoming the pantomime villain of the piece.

“

It is is difficult, rather impossible, not to to be swept away by the atmosphere inside Usher Hall, even for those who have never professed themselves to be fans of Oasis" All in all, it is difficult, rather impossible, not to be swept away by the atmosphere inside Usher Hall, even for those (including myself ) who have never professed themselves to be fans of Oasis. The tracks from the new album, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds are met with just as much glee as the old classics, and one thing is perfectly clear through this immensely entertaining gig – the soul of Oasis has been refreshed, and very much lives on.

– it felt as if the band had bottled the sun, shook it up and poured it into my ears.

Large portions of the album segue seamlessly into one another and are better expressed as movements than tracks. The initial three songs are borne from a sleepy warm introduction into wide-eyed chirpy, joyful guitar indie, whilst the middle section cools to an almost-stop before the final autumnal bow.

And through the hurl and burl of those gorgeous melodies, rough-hewn barbershop harmonies and witty lyricisms leap. Hot Club don’t mince their words but they don’t revel in laddish delight: there is nary a misplaced line or phrase on Dead Lake. Whilst singing of forgotten girls and lost nights, there’s a lighter touch to the lovelorn realism on “�������������������������� ��������������������������� For Parties Past and Present������������������������������������ ”����������������������������������� , the lyrics “when I think of her/ I�� see that dress with the summer sewn/ into its cotton checks” sound fond rather than bitter. Neither does it succumb to epic pop trope; the girl who mesmerises our hero leaves him to the wolves midway through the album.

The listener is left to pick up the pieces amongst colliding melodies and circling catechisms Live at Dead Lake, with its myriad time signatures, skew-whiff guitar tunes and asymmetric polygon take on indie rock, redefined the way I listened to music - and it hasn’t lost an iota of its potency today.

Sam Bradley

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper �������� Tuesday ��������� November ��� 15 ����� 2011� music@studentnewspaper.org �������������������� studentnewspaper.org

Music 25

Albums she & HIM A Very She & Him Christmas

MERGE

 espite primarily being known for D her acting abilities, this festive offering is actually the third album from

Zooey Deschanel and her partner in indie-folk M. Ward. It might seem slightly seasonally premature, but with a mere six weeks until Christmas and shops already bedazzled in tinsel finery, it’s about time to investigate alternatives to that old Now! compilation.

Fans of Deschanel’s kooky, doeeyed acting will soon realise this is reflected in her singing: despite not having the strongest voice, Zooey’s charming drawl seems of a different era, comparable with the retro stylings of newcomer Lana Del Rey. Her vocals are complemented by the album’s layered crooning backing vocals and

birdy Birdy ATLANTIC

 he haunting voice that weaves T through the indie cover melodies of Birdy’s first album is definitely one

of those talents that makes you despair that the girl who owns it is only fifteen.

Discovered at twelve years old, Birdy is the first album released by the singer, where she transforms forgotten tunes like Cherry Ghost’s “People Help the People” into an Adele-esque piano ballad, with an intimacy that Adele’s big voice often lacks.

The album comprises mostly of these emotive indie recreations as the young star keeps to her strengths, with only one original song “Without a Word” written by the singer/songwriter. This track follows the trend begun by television music competitions where songs are stripped down to the bones to reveal the intricacies of the performer’s voice without fancy beats or complex synthetics. Birdy’s young voice is perfect for this kind of exposure, the best ex-

Singles

the cutesy ukulele twangs which underpin the majority of the tracks, creating a folky-kitsch twist on classic festive hits.

Deschanel’s husky tones shine on opening track “The Christmas Waltz”: the stripped back composition accompanies her old-fashioned vocals perfectly, and there are similarities to Patsy Cline in the country-folk undertones. M. Ward’s musical contribution should not be understated: “Little Saint Nick” displays one of the best arrangements on the album, with a delightful ukulele reworking the surf vibes of the Beach Boys version.

By far the highlight of the album has to be the dreamy production of “The Christmas Song” which acts as a brilliant end-point: a sleepy lullaby to accompany that post-turkey feeling.

Yet unfortunately on some tracks Deschanel’s vocal is drowned out in the layered production. On more upbeat numbers such as “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” and “Sleigh Ride”, her drawl simply cannot keep up with the jaunty production. Likewise, on more subdued ample being her first chart hit “Skinny Love”, a Bon Iver cover, where the soul in her voice leads the piano over simple minor chords.

The standout of the teenager’s new tracks is “White Winter”, a slightly different hymnal with a repetitive, almost folksy, chorus that somehow makes your mind drift away with her romantic, far away vocals.

“

The haunting voice that weaves through the album is definitely one of those talents that makes you despair that the girl who owns it is only fifteen" Although Birdy is holding onto her strengths in her first album, something which makes the tracks quite similar, her voice is addictive and the innocence within it is very refreshing considering that most current chart hits gain success with their scandalous music videos and altered vocals.

Nina Seale

cher lloyd With Ur Love SYCO



November Tracks 1. Jasmine Kara "Liberation Conversation" 2. The Kinks "Victoria" 3. Riton "Dark Place" 4. Mickey Moonlight "Close to Everything"

TAXI: We couldn't bring ourselves to print anything festive tracks like “Silver Bells”, the vocals lose their quaint charm and become sleepy to the point of dreariness.

With glimmers of Christmas magic, and given that its main competition in this year’s Christmas compilation market comes from Justin Bieber, She & Him’s album presents a relaxed fes-

tive vibe for those who tend to overdose on the tinsel-splattered classics such as Slade. It is an enjoyable take on well-chosen Christmas classics which will perfectly complement that ironic Christmas jumper you’ll be rocking as the festive season draws in.

Mairi Innes

5. Sparks "Amateur Hour" 6. Archie Shepp "Attica Blues" 7. Dave Edmunds "Girls Talk"

steel panther Balls Out UNIVERSAL RECORDS

 or those that missed their rapid F burst onto the scene, Steel Panther are along the same vein as the Dark-

ness, in that they poke fun at '80s glam metal bands like Motley Crüe and Poison – they’re just dirtier, a lot dirtier.

With a first album that included titles like “Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)” and “Asian Hooker”, I’m sure you get the picture. This is a theme the second album continues with such deep titles as “Weenie Ride” and “It Won’t Suck Itself ”. So their biggest challenge coming into Balls Out was whether the joke could remain funny. Well it does.

To perceive these guys as just a joke band would be being incredibly harsh on them, however. They genuinely love the bands they mimic and are serious about what they do. Having plied the LA Strip together since 2000, previously under the name of Metal Skool, they’re tight and there’s no doubting their musical talent. Strip away the ridiculous lyrics, and the music sounds

manic street preachers This is the Day SONY



PRETTY IN PINK: Or scary? You decide... just as good as any of the bands they are paying tribute to ever did. However if you choose to strip away the lyrics you’re missing out on some genuine laugh out loud moments. Tracks such as “Just like Tiger Wood” can’t fail to raise a chuckle, while “Weenie Ride” follows in the footsteps of first album’s “Community Property”, lulling the unaware into believing they are hearing the typical rock ballad while in reality they are hearing the message

jls

hidden behind every rock ballad ever written.

If crude humour is likely to offend you, stay far away from this album. If, however, you can chuckle at that kind of thing and hold a love for the Crüe, Poison and so on (which let’s face it everyone does deep down) then get your hands on this and party away.

Stuart Iversen

the kooks

Take a Chance on Me EPIC

Junk of the Heart VIRGIN





hen Cher Lloyd’s X Factor auhe Manic Street Preachers are sure sign the weather is turning: veryone likes The Kooks but no W dition went viral in 2010 and T back, with a new single to accom- A JLS swap their trademark manE one loves them. This song certainly revealed a trendy, snarling siren of pany their compilation album National cleavage for polo-necks and the entire isn’t going to be pulling back their urban pop, the world was split dead centre; one half fell for her and saw her as an ambitious minx in a sea of bland balladeers, and the other half scoffed at this arrogant bitch in supermarket denim.

Her first single “Swagger Jagger” may have portrayed her with a divisive, toylike charm, but it is in “With Ur Love” that Lloyd is at least beginning to use this polarising power to perfect a pop sound that uses a pouting confidence and a soaring understanding of today's youth to leave 50% of people saying “I told you so…” and the other half looking for something to criticise in this gorgeous single.

This is a bold, bright and inventive example of a teenager in full control of her voice and career.

Jack Murray

Treasures. A cover of The The’s “This is the Day” has been called the final swansong of the band. Whether it is the end or not, this is a great toe-tapper of a song, of a standard that you would expect from a band of their calibre.

Lyrics like “You’ve been reading some old letters, you smile and think how much you’ve changed”, clearly show that they have been reflecting on their youth, and on how they have changed as a band.

Musically, the song cannot be faulted, with the addition of the organ enriching the contemplative feel of the song. Bradfield’s crunching guitar at the end rounds off a very good – and hopefully not final – Manics single.

All Saints winter accessories collection in their new video for “Take A Chance On Me”.

Disappointingly this is not an R&B reworking of ABBA’s classic hit of the same name, and while JLS may be just as much of a guilty pleasure as the Swedish four-piece, this single isn’t nearly as catchy.

The song is sweet, the vocals are great, and particularly enjoyable is the pre key-change finger-clicking solo; but the song seems more like a dated Backstreet Boys song, and pales in comparison to last year’s heart-felt Children in Need effort “Love You More”. Overall, it fits all the boy band stereotypes, but fails to leave much of an impression.��������

mainstream audiences who left indie for urban music long ago. While not of a lower standard than their glory days, “Junk of the Heart” is testing how many “just a bit better than average” songs they can persist with before everyone gets bored.

The song’s best feature is the off-thecuff, swoopy nature of the vocals, laying some cheer on the fairly standard indie rock instrumentals. Just enough to get your foot tapping, it is upbeat and inoffensive - it goes well as a background to doing other things. The Kooks profess that they want to “make you happy”, if they mean “happy to listen in lieu of anything else” then they’ve got it.

Niall Carville

Mairi Innes

Melissa Geere

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Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

TV 26

Gervais comes up short

LOST

&

FOUND

Life's Too Short BBC2 Tuesdays, 9.30pm

 he recent press firestorm over Ricky Gervais’ use of the word ‘mong’ on twitter may have cast doubts over his personality. However valid these doubts may be, they are a distraction from his incredible talent and potential genius as a comedy writer and performer.

Life’s Too Short, his latest venture cowritten with Stephen Merchant, served as a reminder and monument to it. The new BBC series is a mockumentary following actor Warwick Davis (of Star Wars and Willow ‘fame’), self-styled ‘go-to dwarf ’ and ‘sophisticated dwarfabout-town’. Allowed this apparent glimpse into his life, we watch as he goes about his normal daily routines, and as the first episode progresses we see his desperate attempts to appear famous and successful fall apart awkwardly before our eyes.

The cringe-inducing humour and comedic desperation is all as we have come to expect from Gervais' writing. There are some classic moments - the Liam Neeson cameo is phenomenal, with the actor brilliantly playing a ridiculously glum and clueless version of himself Gervais and Merchant playing up to his deadpan delivery perfectly. In fact, the scenes in which Gervais and Merchant feature as caricatured and unflattering depictions of themselves are generally the most successful.

London: The InsIDE Story BBC2 Weekdays, 2.15pm



D

espite the all too promising premise of an inside look at the day-to-day lives of Westminster Council’s public sector workers, Channel 5’s London: The Inside Story fails to live up to its potential.

What could have been an interesting portrayal of those jobs necessary to the functioning of a capital city, instead comes across as an odd hybrid of the bizarre and the mundane.

On one end of the spectrum there is the entirely predictable pest control worker (about whom the most exciting insight the programme has to share is that she’s a woman) who, despite assuring the viewer that her job is fun, interesting, and different every day, spends her 10 minutes of adrenaline-pumping screen time staking out rats, exterminating cockroaches, and showing off such exciting and specialised equipment as rubber gloves. On the other end we have the bizarre case of the council department set up to shut down illegal sex shops in Soho. This is perhaps the highlight of the show, as Australian James takes great glee in confiscating over 50,000 illicit DVDs while making jokes about things “slipping through the cracks”, and pensioner Don plays it cool while showing off his job: viewing over 400 pornographic films a day.

This segment consists mainly of closeup shots of Don’s nose and legs (having requested he remained anonymous, as his grandchildren don’t know what his job is) accompanied by cheekily jaunty mu-

DISCIPLINE: Now, don't you beat Maisie in the playground again This does, however, highlight one of the problems with Life’s Too Short.

Warwick Davis, while giving a good performance, is merely playing another version of the same character that always features in Gervais’ observational comedies – the deluded try-hard who wants desperately to be something he’s not. This might have been better were it not for the fact that Gervais himself did it better.

However, perhaps it is early days yet.

While the first episode was hit-andmiss, its hits make it worth a chance, and characters such as the disastrously inept accountant and Warwick’s divorcee wife may benefit from further development.

There is, of course, also the fact that the list of guest stars is fairly jaw-dropping: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Steve Carell and Sting to name just a few. Who knows, Life’s Too Short could very well be a grower. (Sorry.) sic and a revealing look at James’ clearly deeply artistic soul as he complains about the lack of realism in the design of a Pamela Anderson blow-up doll. At certain points in the show, this boring/bizarre dichotomy seems to reach a critical mass and implode in on itself, forming a being in equal parts tedious and unhinged in the form of Pat Murphy: highways inspector; who monitors sidewalks. He checks to see if lampposts are properly painted, measures the cracks in pavement slabs to make sure they’re not trip hazards, and generally takes his job very seriously.

Over the course of the first episode, various other characters of varying degrees of mental stability are introduced, but the problem seems to be the same in each case. Channel 5 appears to be torn between producing a genuinely fascinating revelation of the important yet quotidian tasks undertaken, but little known about, and appealing to their core demographic through the introduction of gimmicky elements like epilepsy-inducing blinged-out opening credits and alleged 'stars' (13th Cell, anybody?). What results is a deeply confused programme which alternates madly between typical, Channel 5 fare, and a misinterpretation of ‘erudite’ for ‘boring’.

There is promise, though, and little glimmers of actually interesting material appear just often enough to keep the viewer engaged. With any luck this will emerge as a good sign for the rest of the series; the show just has to find its feet, and realise that a well made documentary need not be dull or sensationalist.

Nina Bicket

Drop Down Menu Channel 4 Mondays, 12.30pm



I

can’t be whimsical or pleasant about this show: it’s really, really shit. Now, I like co-presenter Gizzi Erskine a lot – she’s got a really good fringe and apparently she used to work in a piercing salon, which is kind of cool. But her gently punky demeanour is definitely the only good thing about Drop Down Menu.

Let’s start with the central premise – the eponymous menu. Basically, the show is divided into themed segments and in each of these, the audience gets to vote on what happens. This may be what one of the guest chefs cooks for the show’s 'celebrity' guest, or

Sorority Girls Channel 4 4oD



S

orority Girls is perhaps the most thought provoking show I’ve seen in years, constantly challenging viewers with hard to answer questions like "why am I watching this?" and "when are the adverts coming back?"

“

Conflict is manufactured though a heavy amount of editing ... the format of the show is simply too contrived for substantial tension to emerge."

The basic premise of the show is fairly easy to understand. Five American girls have founded a sorority, a student society with no activities, at the University of Leeds, and a group of British girls must compete to earn membership. The show’s main appeal seems to be drama stemming from the clash of cultures.

On one side are the American sorority girls who pride themselves on etiquette and the perpetuation of shallow social traditions. On the other, shamelessly down-to-earth party animals that make up the majority of Leeds' student population.

Unfortunately though, most of the conflict is manufactured though a heavy amount of editing as well as a

BBC BBC

T

which archived bit of food TV from Channel 4 is shown – a bizarre little feature which I still don’t get the point of. But more of that later. The problem with the drop down menu idea is that it just isn’t an interesting enough quirk to hold the show together. That aside, some sections don’t involve any kind of audience choice. Is this an oversight, or could the team behind the show just not think of enough ideas that could involve a menu?

It wouldn’t be surprising if it was an oversight: the production of this show is really dreadful. At points, Gizzi chats to the guests, while her co-presenter Matt Tebbutt does some cooking, or vice-versa, and as the camera switches between them, you can hear snippets of the other’s conversation over the top of whatever drivel it is you’re actually supposed to be listening to.

And, of course, a show about food should have, well, good food on it.

This stuff is far from inspirational.

They cook steak (accidentally setting it on fire), chicken burgers, coleslaw and something vaguely salad-y involving celery. It’s all rather pedestrian. I want food television to amuse me and leave me hungry.

This just left me glad it had finished.

Anna Feintuck

Resident Food TV Critic

degree of imagination from viewers, as the format of the show is simply too contrived for substantial tension to emerge. What remains is a competition that feels utterly meaningless; the tasks that the girls are asked to perform are entirely trivial and the prize seems to be equivalent to membership in a marginally exclusive university society.

Whilst the actual clash between the two groups is underwhelming, simply comparing the behaviour of women on the show is somewhat fascinating. The British girls are carefree and apathetic, personifying everything gloriously wrong with British student culture.

Sometimes it can be a harsh image, but audiences can reassure themselves that some of the more damning flaws can be isolated to Leeds rather than the UK as a whole. The American girls, whilst more pleasant, are let down by the slight downside of being utterly bizarre.

All the American girls are utterly composed at all times, even when they are only amongst themselves they act like they’re at church, speaking either very formally or in their cryptic euphemisms to avoid possible offence. They’re genuinely creepy, almost robotic.

Unfortunately, this is just not good television. Despite the massive abuse of theatrics and editing used by the producers, nothing exciting happens on Sorority Girls, and given the underwhelming nature of the grand prize, the competitive aspect of the show is tragically mundane. While there is mild novelty in the show's premise, the actual format and execution makes Sorority Girls contemptibly boring.

Thomas Hasler

ITV

Alistair Grant finds Ricky Gervais' new project doesn't quite reach the heights of previous efforts

Beech is Back ITV (2001) youtube.com



T

he Bill doesn’t really strike a chord of quality television in memory, the years directly preceding its cancellation saw a steep decline in quality standards – The Bill became a terrible advert for the Metropolitan Police, acted out by a range of terrible, two-dimensional characters. This week Lost and Found goes back to the time when it held the honour of being the highest quality television show that was shown every day.

In 2001, The Bill was an excellent programme; it featured slowly built, long-term story arcs which pitched dynamic characters against each other in complex and well thoughtout plots. Perhaps the most ambitious and successful of these lengthy sagas was the Don Beech scandal, a storyline lasting literally years, which chronicled the rise and fall of the incredibly corrupt and Machiavellian, titular police officer.

Beech is Back was a six-part spinoff which followed DS Don Beech, returning from an apparent death, whilst on the run from the law in Australia following the revelation of his corruption. Beech, being the menacing villain he is, is attempting to organise a diamond robbery.

He is opposed by anti-corruption officer DS Claire Stanton, who has a vendetta against Beech for murdering her lover John Boulton.

Shot in a darker, more professional manner than the normal episodes of The Bill, and shown later at night – Beech is Back was less concerned with hiding the more adult subjects, and far more concerned with putting some very well-done violence on the screen, including a fabulous, brutal punch-up in a toilet. The dialogue was rough and coarse in places, but sufficiently edgy. The acting was stellar, with Clara Salaman portraying Stanton brilliantly and Billy Murray playing Beech so naturally.

The six episodes compose some of the finest crime television ITV has ever put on, ending a longterm, well developed storyline.

Though tremendous, in retrospect it marked the departure of two of The Bill’s best characters, and the beginning of the show’s decline.

The departure of the generation of characters to which Beech and Stanton belonged initiated the beginning of declining quality in the show, and that’s sad.

Daniel Swain

Got your eye on the ball? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org

8 2011 Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

27 Sport 27

Boxing faces its biggest bout yet Sean Douglass explains why the sport needs more characters like the late Joe Frazier – there was hope that there could be a change when Haye finally penned a deal with Wladimir Klitschko, promising a fight that could reignite the sport. Haye was seen as different to all the other contenders because, unlike the vast majority of them, he had a personality as well as a little bit of ability. Let’s be real about it – he was never going to out-box either Klitschko; he hoped that his quickness could win out and that his pre-fight antics could draw a mistake. They didn’t. Haye easily lost on points, the fight was ultimately a huge anti-climax and the Klitschkos cemented their status as the rulers of all boxing’s crown jewels.

“

The sport that was once referred to as "the sport of kings" has turned into one that seems to be filled with bums, jokers and drama queens."

OLD FOES: Ali and Frazier's rivalry lit up the sport of boxing ing their WBC light-heavyweight title fight on pay-per-view, separating his shoulder. We have seen, over a number of years, the sport that was once referred to as “the sport of kings” turn into one that seems to be filled with bums, jokers and drama queens.

There are only a couple of fights left that would excite the world of boxing – Mayweather versus Pacquiao and Klitschko versus Klitschko. Of those, one is definitely ruled out on account of the fact they are family; the other has seen negotiations break down because of a row over drug testing. Not enough new talent is coming through to excite pay-per-view fans and even at 80, Don King is needed to scurry around to try and whip up a media frenzy for the sport’s few remaining

Since that night in July, we have seen Manny Pacquiao defeat Juan Manuel Marquez – again – while everyone waits for him to finally sort out a big-“Money” payday. We have seen the bout between Floyd Mayweather Jr and Victor Ortiz end in controversy over a head-butt and a (supposed) sucker punch. We have seen Chad Dawson take a page from the UFC’s book and throw 46 year old champ Bernard Hopkins to the ground dur-

stars. At this stage, some fans probably wouldn’t mind Rocky Balboa having a shot at the title such is the lack of enthusiasm around the sport’s future.

In 1975, Ali and Frazier had their final battle. Dubbed the “Thrilla in Manila”, Frazier was stopped before the 15th round by Ali when his corner threw in the towel to save Frazier, who was effectively fighting blind so bad were the cuts and swelling around his eyes. ESPN proclaimed this fight to be the fifth greatest sporting event of the 20th century. Ali also later claimed that this fight was the closest to dying he ever came. Now, the sport itself is the closest to dying it has ever come, and will need to show the same fight as Smokin’ Joe if it is to have any hope of recovering.

Time runnning out for the NBA

Wentworth lewis

Charles Cutteridge is quickly tiring of basketball's inability to resolve its issues

ROUND THE WORLD: JR Smith is taking his famous dunk elswhere

999 982 901

Edinburgh BUCs Points 1st Hockey 2nd Football 3rd Basketball 3rd Fencing 5th Rugby Union 6th Lacrosse

119 924 92 92 90 88

Sat 12th November Results Aberdeen 3rd 56-14 Edinburgh 3rd (Women's Netball)

anna fitzgerald

THIS YEAR on October 8, one of heavyweight boxing’s greatest fighters, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, died aged 67 after a bout with liver cancer. As one half of the duo responsible for arguably the sport’s greatest ever trilogy, his impact, alongside that of “The Greatest” Muhammad Ali, made heavyweight boxing into one of the biggest sporting spectacles in the world. In 1971, Frazier knocked down Ali on the way to a unanimous decision victory on points in “the Fight of the Century” and was a champion at a time when the sport was blessed to have a number of its all-time greats at the peak of their powers.

Fast-forward 40 years and boxing is a completely different sport. The oncegreat heavyweight division is now dominated by the Klitschko brothers, Wladimir and Vitali. The pair hold all major four belts in the division (plus near enough all other minor ones) after Wladimir’s victory over David Haye back in July of this year. They have conquered all that have been put in front of them with relative ease and, with the exception of each other; there is virtually no-one that could defeat either of them. Much like the style in which both box, they have stifled the competition in their division.

Nowadays, heavyweight title fights are slow, dour affairs where two large, lumbering, seriously heavy boxers stand as long as they can, trade a few punches and then hug each other for a while. After the debacle of Haye’s “fight” with dancing maestro Audley Harrison - in which Harrison didn’t throw a single punch in two rounds

Overall BUCs Standings 8th Manchester 9th Edinburgh 10th Oxford

With the 2011/12 NBA season starting to look less and less retrievable and an increasing number of players signing deals overseas, as fans, we must ask ourselves whether the competition is even worth saving.

A labour dispute triggered a lockdown on July 1 and has caused the NBA to cancel the first part of the regular season.

The owners, who claim that the NBA lost $300m last year with 22 out of its 30 teams operating at a loss, want the players to accept a cut in their share of league revenue from 57% to a 50-50 split.

Around 50 players are reported to want to dissolve the National Basketball Players’ Association according to the New York Times, with the athletes unhappy that the union is making concessions to the owners by offering to reduce their share to 52.5%.

More and more players are completing deals with overseas teams and depleting the number of players available to play in the States. Big stars are not the problem though, as all the headline-worthy stars who have signed deals elsewhere have optout clauses allowing them to return to the NBA should an agreement be reached.

But there are many important players that have signed deals for one or more seasons without break clauses.

Teams have already lost the talents of experienced league players such as JR Smith, Kenyon Martin, Nenad Kristic and Hilton Armstrong and several others have signed deals without securing a way back into the NBA. While these players

may not be the face of their teams, they are significant talents who play a vital role in the NBA, the loss of whom will be felt across the league undoubtedly affecting the quality of the game.

But the NBA’s loss is the rest of the world's gain. France, Russia, Spain, Turkey and China are all set to bolster their teams with players from the best teams in the world and more are to come. Kobe Bryant, Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony are all in discussions or close to making deals given the persistence of the lockout.

If this continues there won’t be many players left to pull in the fans and the revenue to make the season work.

Do we care though? Although the “NBA Cares” campaign strives to show the community that, despite the extortionate money earned by its players, it still hasn’t lost touch with reality, the past few months have done nothing save destroy the rapport that players and teams had with the fans. The NBA clearly doesn’t care. Arguing over the most minor details and keeping basketball out of the arenas is just becoming tiresome and, above all, pathetic. Fans were annoyed but understanding at first but now the majority just don’t care. Let us instead follow those who actually want to play. The leagues in Spain, Italy, France, Russia, China and Turkey, amongst others, deserve our support much more than the NBA. What’s more they are bolstered by NBA talent not corrupted by the megabucks and playing for what this was all about in the first place - a love of the game.

Wed 9th November Results Edinburgh 2nd 45-54 QMU 1st (Women's Basketball) Edinburgh 3rd 1-0 Glasgow 2nd (Men's Hockey) Glasgow 1st 70-72 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Basketball) Edinburgh 3rd 1-1 Edinburgh 4th (Women's Hockey) Leeds Met 1st 104-33 Edinburgh 1st (Women's Basketball) Glasgow Cale 1st 4-0 Edinburgh 3rd (Men's Football) Edinburgh 2nd 3-1 Manchester 2nd (Women's Hockey) Edinburgh 4th 4-0 Aberdeen 2nd (Men's Hockey) Northumbria 1st 6-2 Edinburgh 1st (Men's Badminton)

Injury Time

takes A WRY look at the world of sport Fans of FC Toon Town will be gathering their torches and pitchforks before descending on St Jam...

I mean the Sports Direct Arena when Chelsea come to town in two weeks time. That is if the Geordies can even bring themselves to call it home anymore now Mike Ashley has sold 131 years of tradition.

Judging from the flood of facebook statuses and angry tweets you would think there is some sort of drastic action on the cards. A riot?

A boycott? A Student-style poolball-in-sock mass-smashing of Pret A Manger? Er, no. As one indignant season-ticket holder proclaimed: “He can call it whatever he wants, but as long as it is full to the rafters of Geordies singing Geordie songs and cheering for our team, it will forever be St James’ Park.”

Instead it seems that the chosen form of rebellion is as follows: continue to buy tickets and fill the coffers of the man who is tearing down all you came to believe in as a wee-boy kicking a piece of coal around and pretending to be Peter Beardsley.

I mean this guy is single-handedly ruining the club. Appointing Alan Pardew; slashing the wagebill by clearing out well-paid egos and replacing them with cheaper, better ones; it’s no wonder the team is performing so badl... oh.

Davie Heaton

Sport

studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday November 15 2011

Boxing's biggest bout yet

Sean Douglass explains how the late Joe Frazier took a piece of boxing's appeal with him P27

Edinburgh victorious at Braids Davie Heaton reports on the Hare and Hounds' double success at their big cross-country meet An outstanding team performance saw Edinburgh University’s Hare and Hound running club take both the men and women’s team prizes at Braids on Saturday.

Jamie Stevenson took an overall second place in the men’s race, and first under 20, while Megan Crawford was also runner up for the Haries in the women’s.

Niall Sheehan put in a storming run to take the men’s honours for Lassawade Athletics Club with a time of 32:35 while Claire Ward took the women’s crown for HBT in 18:34.

“This race was a massive success,” said men’s captain Ross McCall – who was unable to compete as he recovers from injury.

“The club are really proud of what we achieved this weekend.”

The women’s race – a single lap of the challenging three-mile course which involves steep up and downhill sections across a combination of gravel and muddy terrain – saw consistent performances from the women in Edinburgh green, with Crawford finishing as runner up for the second consecutive year and strong support from Becky Hannah (eighth) and Kirstin Maxwell (tenth) ensuring the Haries went one better than last year to take the team title.

Ward’s winning time was some way out from the race-record of 17:26 set by Durham University’s Felicity Milton in 2006 – owing much to the muddy conditions which made for a particularly treacherous downhill section.

The ground was churned up even more by the time the men’s race – two laps of the course – got under way, again meaning that Leeds University’s James Walsh’s 2004 record of 30:32 was not troubled. Nonetheless the Haries dealt with the difficulties laid on by the terrain impressively with Stevenson, Arunja Sivakumaran (seventh), Alasdair McLeod (ninth) and Patryk Gierjatowicz (12th) especially clocking good times to equal their team performance of last year.

The race – which was first run in its current form in 1982 – saw its biggest turnout in recent times, with 349 runners from clubs and universities all across Britain.

Captain McCall was pleased that the club was able to add to its proud 123year tradition and hopes to build on the team’s success: “Thanks go to the club committee and all the volunteers and marshals and of course visiting runners from both clubs and universities without whom the race couldn’t have been such a success,” he said.

“We will be looking forward to building on this year’s race when it happens all over again next year."

BRAIDS 2011: (Clockwise from top left) men's winner Niall Sheehan, women's winner Claire Ward, the men jostle for position

Men's Team Results 1st Edinburgh Uni A 2nd Leeds Uni A 3rd Costorphine AAC A 4th Edinburgh Uni B

30 42 73 83

Men's Individual Results 1st Niall Sheehan 2nd Jamie Stevenson 3rd Mickey Breen 7th Arjuna Sivakumaran 9th Alasdair McLeod 12th Patryk Gierjatowicz 15th Tom Martyn

32:35 32:59 33:11 33:59 34:08 34:28 34:34

Women's Team Results 1st Edunburgh Uni A 2nd HBT A 3rd Fife AC A 6th Edinburgh Uni B

20 29 46 52

Women's Individual Results 1st Claire Ward 2nd Megan Crawford 3rd Emma Raven 8th Becky Hannah 10th Kirstin Maxwell 11th Hollie Orr 18th Rachel Armitage

18:34 18:42 18:53 19:34 19:57 19:58 20:14

Charles Cutteridge

Cross-Country Running Braids 2011

FIFA makes yet more enemies

The "poppygate" fiasco is another blunder by an organisation that nobody respects, argues Chris Waugh FIFA is notorious for being completely useless at handling the governance of the very sport for which it is the world governing body. Yet the last two weeks have seen the organisation, already heavily discredited in the footballing world due to a number of recent scandals, put itself into a situation that could have easily been avoided; a situation that, even by FIFA’s depressingly low standards, was unnecessary, wholly disrespectful and utterly ridiculous.

Rules are put in place by FIFA to ensure that all teams are given an equal chance to play football in the manner in which they see fit within the laws of the game and in order to allow matches to be controlled by the referee in a non-arbitrary manner. However, some regulations should be open to interpretation and, in exceptional circumstances, these regulations should be flexible enough as to allow for their subsequent relaxation. Last week FIFA’s PR staff once again saw the

organisation dragged into an avoidable and consequentially controversial debate – on this occasion regarding the display of poppies on international shirts, including those of the Home Nations.

The poppy is an emotive symbol in Britain, particularly during the month of November when society honours its war dead through the Poppy Appeal – a charity that raises money for fallen military heroes and their families. It is seemingly obvious that such an important cultural and symbolic image as the poppy should be emblazoned upon international shirts, but here is another one of those situations where FIFA has been inflexible in the application of a one of its more technical regulations.

The regulation states that international shirts should not carry political, religious or commercial messages; categories into which the poppy does not fall as it is merely a symbol of respect. But FIFA also stresses that once a strip de-

sign has been submitted for use it cannot be altered (for example by embroidering poppies onto the centre of the shirt) and this further complicates the situation.

“

FIFA's reputation is at an all time low and, if "poppygate" is anything to go by, this reputation is most throroughly deserved."

Sepp Blatter’s autocratic organisation was so determined not to relent and relax these rules for the Home Nations – as well as all other nations to whom the poppy is a symbol of remembrance, including those in the Commonwealth – that they allowed their already tarnished

public image to be dragged through the mud once again. Prince William, David Cameron and many other leading figures condemned FIFA’s stance on the issue, leading to a farcical situation that will inevitably be referred to in future as “poppygate”.

Although FIFA did eventually concede that teams could display poppies on their tracksuits, the public furore that their original stance caused forced them into a further compromise: poppies could be embroided onto black armbands that could then be worn by the players as a mark of respect.

It is embarrassing enough that FIFA was forced to make these concessions (or rather that they allowed the poppy situation to arise at all), but what exacerbates this even further is the fact that Conservative MP Chris Heaton-Harris – himself a qualified referee – had to notify them of a potential compromise that itself complies with the body’s regulations.

FIFA should be able to enforce its rules, but it should also know and understand the intricacies of those rules if it is going to attempt to govern in an effective and respected manner and on this occasion that was clearly not the case.

This compromise was put into action by the Home Nations in their fixtures last weekend and the situation itself cooled once FIFA made this concession. Nevertheless FIFA’s decision to so strictly enforce their rule in a situation that was only ever going to create dismay and anger among many of its member nations seems both bizarre and supremely stupid.

For an organisation that is so riddled with scandal and corruption to oppose a harmless but extremely emotional and symbolic tribute is just ludicrous.

FIFA’s reputation stands at an all time low and, if the governing body’s handling of “poppygate” is anything to go by, then this reputation is most thoroughly deserved.

news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday November 15 2011 studentnewspaper.org

News 5

PRINCES STREET’S festive ice rink has been saved from abandonment thanks to a goodwill gesture from a mystery donor.

For weeks there had been concerns that the popular attraction would be absent from this year’s festivities, after it made a £60,000 loss last Christmas.

An unidentified hotelier has stepped in at the last minute to ensure the ice rink will make an appearance this winter.

The City of Edinburgh Council announced that a deal has been struck with an unknown hotel business which has agreed to underwrite any losses incurred by the attraction this year.

“

This news will be warmly welcomed by skaters and spectators" Steve Cardownie, City of Edinburgh Council

The outdoor ice rink will be situated in East Princes Street Gardens and is due to open on Thursday 24 November.

It needs to pull in 40,000 visitors to break even, which it did manage to achieve two years ago. However, last year, many skaters were put off travelling into the city centre by the severe winter weather conditions.

The rink is considered to be a central feature of Edinburgh’s annual Christmas celebrations. It is also one of the largest in Europe.

Although the generous individual has chosen to remain anonymous, the City of Edinburgh council have con-

firmed that M&D Leisure are going to build and operate the ice rink.

The company is also contracted with running some of the other Christmas fair rides including the Edinburgh wheel, carousel and the helter skelter.

Douglas Taylor, Managing Director of M&D Leisure said, “After many years of working with the City of Edinburgh Council, M&D Leisure is excited to be delivering an even bigger and better part of Edinburgh’s Christmas experience”.

In a bid to attract new patrons, discounted tickets are already being sold online.

Moreover, in accordance with the terms of the deal the council have agreed to cut the rent the rink operator must pay by 40 per cent.

Local businesses and the city council are providing more than £197,000 in funding for this year’s whole programme of events.

Councillor Steve Cardownie, Festivals and Events Champion for the City of Edinburgh Council said, “It was touch and go whether there would be an ice rink included in this year’s programme - I’m pleased that we’ve managed to reach an agreement that will allow it to go ahead and we are grateful to Essential Edinburgh and other private sector contributors for their support.

“I know this news will be warmly welcomed not just by skaters, spectators and traders, but also by retailers and businesses in the surrounding area.”

He added, “Edinburgh’s Christmas celebrations really light up the city during the festive season, drawing many thousands of people in to enjoy the attractions and shop in the city centre.”

FESTIVE CHEER: The Student is not too highbrow to feature Christmas images before December.

FILM NIGHT NOV 17 8pm teviot balcony room showing:

£2 = FILM + POPCORN

holly jameson

Alexandra Taylor

KYZ

Mystery hotelier saves Princes Street ice rink