The Student 27/03/2012

Tuesday March 27 2012 | Week 10

FILM

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S I N C E 1887

T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2010

ALASDAIR DRENNAN

Occupy Edinburgh: The public costs revealed

JUSTIFIED: The police spent £48,258 on policing the protests organised by Occupy Edinburgh Alasdair Drennan POLICING THE Occupy Edinburgh protests cost the taxpayer at least £60,000 over the course of their occupations of both St Andrew Square and the Meadows.

An investigation carried out by The Student has revealed that policing the pre-planned marches and events held

by Occupy Edinburgh cost Lothian and Borders Police £48,258.

Over £12,000 was also spent by City of Edinburgh Council on security and legal costs.

The protestors left St Andrew Square voluntarily but began a new camp on the Meadows in the early hours of January 30 which lasted for a further 10 days.

The City of Edinburgh Council spent £6,562 on security on the Meadows following the move.

The initiation of legal proceedings to have the campers removed from the Meadows cost a further £6,592.35.

A spokesperson for Occupy Edinburgh declined the opportunity to respond to The Student’s request for comment.

However, Hona-Luisa CohenFuentes, a first year philosophy and economics student who was involved in Occupy Edinburgh, told The Student,

“The spending on the policing seems unnecessary given that there was no violence associated with the protests in Edinburgh; they were very calm.

“I also think that the cause certainly justifies any expense – Occupy acts as a talking shop about ideas that could change the world and had a real effect.

“As far as I’m concerned Occupy didn’t really require the policing it received and the amount of money spent is telling about the government.”

Similarly, a spokesperson for Lothian and Borders police defended the expense, telling The Student, “The costs involved in policing the Occupy Edinburgh demonstration were met from existing budgets.

“

As far as I'm concerned, Occupy Edinburgh didn't really require the policing it received."

Hona-Luisa Cohen-Fuentes, Philosophy and Economics student “The Occupy Edinburgh demonstration that took place in St Andrew Square required a policing

response that was proportionate and focused around ensuring public safety.”

Lothian and Borders police also commented on the relationship they had with the Occupy protestors, stating, “The engagement between officers and Occupy Edinburgh remained largely positive, and this was reflected in the low number of arrests made in connection with the demonstration.”

Similarly, a spokesperson representing the City of Edinburgh Council told The Student, “The Council has a clear policy of not allowing anyone to camp in the Meadows or any other parks in the city.

“Legal costs were incurred as we had to go to court to seek an eviction order for the Occupy Edinburgh camp.”

The Council was also quick to justify their spending on security, “Additional security measures were also put in place in the park following the incidents of antisocial behaviour at St Andrew Square.”

The local community has also reacted to the news. Linda Hendry, Convener of Friends of the Meadows and Bruntsfield Links (FoMBL) told The Student, “FoMBL do not support the Meadows being used as a campsite but we understand the right to peaceful protests.”

She was also critical of the extra

security staff employed by the council before the campaigners made their move to the Meadows.

“

Additional security measures were put in place following the incidents of antisocial behaviour."

City of Edinburgh Council Spokesperson She said, “In general we feel that the security precautions for Occupy were a bit over the top since the camp didn’t move in until the following week.

“We always hope for extra money to be spent on tree planting, repairing the historic Jawbones Arch, more public toilets and proper litter recycling facilities.

“We realise Edinburgh Council spending is constrained by the Scottish Government’s Council Tax freeze and other economic conditions.”

The Occupy Edinburgh camp was established in October last year and spent more than 100 days in St Andrew Square before Essential Edinburgh began legal proceedings to have the camp removed.

Society Oscars honour success

Leo Michelmore

TEVIOT HOSTED the 2012 Society Oscars on Saturday, with the Edinburgh University Modern Dance Society (EUMDS) walking away with the award for Best Society.

The Debating Hall was transformed into the 1920s-themed venue for the award ceremony, which celebrated the best that the University of Edinburgh’s societies had to offer.

As well as Best Society, awards included Best New Society and Best Event, as well as honours for both charitable and non-charitable ‘community action’.

The Young Scientific Researchers’ Association (YSRA) was named the Best New Society for its work in providing students with a platform to explore research ideas they might have outside their academic work.

Student StopAIDS won Best Event for their fundraising efforts, beating the Model United Nations and the Jazz Orchestra's Motown Idol to the prize.

The Community Action awards celebrated societies which had somehow benefited the Edinburgh community more generally, with honours going to the Patient Outreach Project, which sends student volunteers to visit elderly patients at the Royal Victoria Hospital, and the Edinburgh Revelation Rock-Gospel Choir (EdRev) whose stated aim is to “draw out hidden talents and abilities, and build friendships through singing a diverse range of music.”

Students who have given a special contribution to the success of their society were also recognised as ‘Society Heroes’ by their fellow members, with nods going to the likes of Lucy Galbraith, founder of the Harry Potter Society, and a particularly committed Nightline volunteer, who was referred to only as ‘Volunteer R’ in the interest of preserving anonymity.

The award ceremony ran from 6.15pm until 9.30pm and was livestreamed in the New Amhpion.

Entertainment included performances from the Ballroom Dancing Societies, Edinburgh University Footlights, Female Voice Choir and the Modern Dance society.

Live music was performed by the Jazz Orchestra in the Teviot Lounge Bar following the ceremony.

A ceilidh was also put on by FolkSoc from 10.30pm.

INSIDE: “Ask the candidates” pits possible EUSA presidents against each other p3

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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2 News

@EdStudentNews

Commonwealth Pool reopens

Varvara Bashkirova

The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

What’s in this issue

»

NEWS »p1-4

APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM PRINCES ST p4 Thurston Smalley gets to the core of the new apple store.

COMMENT »p7-8 NORTHERN LIGHTWEIGHT p 7

Lewis Dunne analyses the real reasons for Orkney and Shetland's vie for independence.

FEATURES »p9-11

FEAR & LOATHING ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL p9 John Hewitt Jones goes behind the scenes of EUSA campaigns.

HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES p10

Robert Dickie thinks universities need to invert how they accommodate introverts.

SCIENCE &ENVIRONMENT » p14-15 SPACE JAM p15

The Student explores the mysteries of the universe.

THE ROYAL Commonwealth Pool has reopened to the public after a two and a half year closure.

David Wilkie, former Olympic swimming champion who used to train in the pool, officially opened it in a ceremony last week.

At the event, he said it was great to see, “the ‘old lady’ reformed in all her old glory.”

Wilkie swam the first breadth in the new swimming pool alongside 30 selected young swimmers from Edinburgh and Lothian schools.

Widely known as the “Commie Pool”, the building has undergone a £37 million refurbishment in the past two years.

Apart from the largest swimming pool in Edinburgh, it now also has a gym filled with £300,000 worth of brand new equipment.

Edinburgh Leisure, a division of the

City of Edinburgh Council, operates the pool.

Their director of operations, Graeme Gardiner, told The Student, “There is a truly exceptional range of facilities on offer that cannot be compared to anywhere else in Edinburgh.

“There is a unique 50m swimming pool and a 25m diving pool as well as a fully refurbished and expanded gym with around 80 pieces of equipment, extensive free-weights area and a variety of programmes and fitness classes to keep everyone motivated.”

Situated just a minute’s walk from Pollock Halls of Residence, the Commonwealth Pool is expected to attract many students.

Brian King, the Deputy Manager of the new pool, told The Student, “Our reception has been open since the beginning of March, and we have had many students who bought a membership already, before the official opening.”

Gardiner added, “We offer a discounted student membership which will

make it even easier to get active, stay active and achieve more.”

Sacha Corby, a first year Chemistry student living in Pollock Halls, said, “The help desk people were really polite, the changing rooms were lovely, with great hair dryers and super hot showers.

“I thought it was quite expensive considering we’re students but I guess since you get unlimited time then it's not too bad.”

Apart from the new equipment, the building got new ventilation and heating systems. King said, “We are very ‘green’, all our systems are very environmentally friendly; we recycle water in the swimming pools as well.”

The Commonwealth Pool was built in 1967 and is listed by Historic Scotland as a Category A building.

In order to preserve its historic value, a number of its original features have been retained, such as the general layout of the building and outward design. Wooden slatted ceilings in the foyer, reception and gyms have also been kept.

The increase is being put down to school leavers choosing career-focused degrees. There is a rising concern among students to secure a job with high earning potential. With the cost of tuition fees rising, it is important for students to think to the future and pursue a degree with good job prospects.

It is predicted that British universities will witness similar trends in applications for Medicine, Veterinary Science, Dentistry and Engineering.

Undergraduate applications have dropped considerably across the country as a result of the increased tuition fees.

With graduates leaving university with substantial debts as a result of both

fees and loans, students want to leave knowing they have a more secure future ahead of them.

Third year law student Carolyn Lang told The Student, “I chose to study law because there was a clear career path at the end of the degree and I imagine given the economic climate, other people are doing the same. Because people are spending more on higher education, they want to be sure that their money is well spent.”

Law degrees also open doors to other career prospects rather than working as a solicitor or barrister. Having a law degree shows a high level of education and ability, which is appealing for employers in all sectors.

Law degree applications on the rise Clare Houston

LAW DEGREE applications have risen this year despite an overall drop in undergraduate applications.

Figures show there has been an eight per cent rise in numbers of students taking the National Admissions Test for Law (LNAT).

LNAT is an entrance requirement for many leading universities in the UK. The test is required for admittance to the Universities of Birmingham, Bristol, Durham, Glasgow, Manchester, Nottingham, Oxford, King’s College London and University College London.

The terrible injustice done to her was seen as irrelevant because she was poor.

But the quiet earth under her feet said otherwise…

LIFESTYLE »p17

THE BARE MINIMUM p17

Trent Justice exposes the naked truth of strip clubs.

CULTURE »p18-19 IT FIGAROS p18

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto casts an eye over DC Jackson's adaptation of The Marriage of Figaro.

FILM »p20-21

FLACCID JOHN CARTER p21 Dan Scott Lintott doesn't bet on Disney's flop, John Carter.

SPORT »p27-28

WON'T BUDGE p27

Nina Seale adds up the London Games security costs.

The Secret of Ravelston

by Sergio Silveira

Available at Amazon.co.uk & Barnes & Noble.com

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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News 3

Alasdair Drennan and Leo Michelmore

THE THREE presidential candidates standing in the upcoming EUSA elections clashed in an event called “Ask the candidates” held last Wednesday.

The event, organised by The Student and Edinburgh's student radio Fresh Air, was an opportunity for students to question the potential presidents of the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA). It was broadcast live from Appleton Tower.

Candidates James McAsh, Hugh Murdoch and James Wood debated issues ranging from the privatisation of Masson House in Pollock Halls to the amount of time EUSA should spend on campaigning nationally, with the structure of EUSA and the policy of boycotting products in

EUSA shops also proving particularly controversial.

Murdoch’s opening statement stressed the importance of increasing student involvement in EUSA whereas McAsh stated that students should have a greater role in protecting their education in the university.

Wood, who was relatively unknown until last week, opened with an attack on the internal politics of EUSA, suggesting that the association did not adequately represent the interests of the majority of students.

When the candidates were asked to discuss EUSA’s boycotts of various products, Wood argued that boycotts should be a personal choice and should not be imposed from the top.

The other candidates defended the boycotts. McAsh said that if students wanted to remove a boycott then they could bring that motion to referendum and Murdoch argued that the society boycotts a number of

things and these should be lifted only when they had been effective.

There was also heated discussion over whether or not EUSA should be involved in national campaigns.

Wood argued that EUSA’s main role should be to improve the student experience whereas McAsh stressed the importance of defending education through national campaigns and Murdoch defended the role of the NUS in supporting national campaigns.

All three candidates told The Student that they felt more confident of their election chances following the debate, with McAsh saying he thought that the “response in the room to [his] ideas was overwhelmingly positive” and Murdoch saying, “It made me feel confident that what I’m saying and what I want for EUSA and Edinburgh students is the same as what they want.”

Wood emphasised how he was

TELERI JONES

EUSA presidential candidates clash in live debate

CANDIDATES: James Wood, Hugh Murdoch and James McAsh “an independent candidate in a pretty politicised room” and said, “I managed to hold my own pretty well against two extremely intelligent and experienced public speakers … obviously it wasn’t going to be perfect, but I think I did well.”

The event’s hashtag #EdQT

trended third in the UK on twitter, was attended by over 100 people and saw record numbers of people tuning in to listen online.

A full transcript of “Ask the candidates” is available online at studentnewspaper.org.

Hugh Murdoch

James McAsh

James Wood

TAGXEDO

The discussion analysed: The most commonly used words by each candidate

Sam Bradley

THE MOTION “This house supports same sex marriage” was discussed last week in a lively debate organised by the Edinburgh University Debates Union (EUDU).

The five-strong panel included Alex MacDonald, minister at the Buccleuch & Greyfriars Free Church and Gordon Macdonald, Parliamentary Officer of CARE for Scotland, a Christian organisation, both of whom spoke against the motion.

Speaking for the motion were John McKee, President of the Scottish Students Debating Council; Tom French, policy co-ordinator of the Equality Network, and Hazel Marzetti, Equal Opportunities Officer for the Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA).

Marzetti told the audience, “For me, the question of same sex marriage is one of two halves. It’s a question of equal rights, and one of religious freedoms.

“My advice to someone who disagrees with the concept of same sex

marriage is simple – don’t get a same sex marriage”.

Alex MacDonald took the opposite view. He said, “I’m suspicious of the motivations of the state when it comes to redefining marriage and in redefining words – a large part of that reminds me of George Orwell’s fears about doublethink. I’m not sure it’s their place to redefine our society”.

After their opening speeches, each participant took questions from the audience.

Gordon MacDonald opposed equal marriage across several levels. He said, “There’s a theological element for me.

Marriage is the biblical ideal.”

“I’m also worried that equality and rights are going to trump everything else. I’m especially worried that ministers are going to be told to conduct marriages that they don’t condone or not conduct marriages at all.”

French said during the debate, “This issue is about respecting religious freedom both ways – that’s my view, and the view of the Equality Network.”

Despite the controversial nature of the subject, the debate was wellmannered. When Marzetti answered a question on the role of religion in

LIVELY DEBATE: The panelists discuss whether marriage is a human or religious right marriage, saying, “Marriage for me is not necessarily a religious institution.

It can go both ways, it can be religious and it can be simply human”, she found common ground with Alex MacDonald.

He responded, “I agree that marriage is a human institution. We just disagree

on the definition of marriage.”

The chair of the debate and president of EUSA, Matt McPherson, told The Student, “I think the debate says a lot about students at Edinburgh, and how forward-thinking our young leaders of the future are on these still very controversial issues.”

“I felt the anti-equality speakers were very much in an open, vocal minority and yet, we are still a very long way away from gaining equal marriage. ” “That shows much of a gulf there is between students and the rest of the country”.

SAM BRADLEY

EUDU asks if “this house supports same sex marriage”

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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@EdStudentNews

Edinburgh receives internet funding boost

Stephen Maughan

Thurston Smalley PRINCES STREET is set to be the site of an Apple Store thanks to a new building development opposite to the Balmoral Hotel.

The development, which is expected to last 18 months and cost £16 million, will also see the opening of a new 140room Motel One hotel above the Apple Store.

Although unconfirmed by Apple, The Scotsman reported that a pre-let agreement had been signed for one of the units being created and the other two are not currently being marketed.

Prior to the project, which broke ground on March 19, the site had lain largely empty. The block was previously home to a Waterstones and Burger King, which closed in March last year.

Tram developments on Princes Street have concerned some officials who worry that the ongoing, disruptive work is harming Princes Street’s image but city officials hope that the project will bring additional commerce to Edinburgh and reinforce Princes Street’s premium reputation, especially to those exiting Waverly Station.

In a letter to council chiefs in February, Lothian’s Labour MSP Kezia Dugdale wrote, “Rather than resigning ourselves to our city looking a mess during the tram works, we should try even harder to give a good impression of the vibrant, beautiful city Edinburgh is.”

An Edinburgh Apple Store will benefit owners of Apple products, which become defective or require repairs.

University of Edinburgh student, Ian Campbell said, “I broke my iPod and to get it fixed I had to go all the way to Glasgow. It was horrible.”

In addition, officials expect that the store will boost Edinburgh’s economy.

In the United States, Apple makes more money than any other retailer per square foot of retail space and also makes the most sales per square foot. In 2011, Apple made 5,626 sales per square foot of retail space.

The Motel One project will be Edinburgh’s second. Motel One are in the process of building a venue on Advocate’s Close, just off of the Royal Mile.

There had initially been concerns that Princes Street, already housing easyHotel, Premier Inn, and Travelodge, did not need another budget hotel, but leaders are confident that Motel One will differentiate itself from the pack.

Councillor Tom Buchanan told The Scotsman, “I am delighted that Motel One have chosen to put a second hotel in Edinburgh ahead of any other location in the UK. “Whilst I had hoped that we could increase our stock of four and five-star hotels, the type of hotel operation run by Motel One is very upmarket but at a very reasonable price.”

“

Two years ago Britain had some of the slowest boradband speeds in Europe, today our plans will deliver some of the fastest."

George Osbourne, Chancellor of the Exchequer Addressing the House of Commons, Osborne said that Britain, which once yielded one of the slowest broadband speeds in Europe, will now have one of the fastest and expressed hope that Britain will become, “Europe’s technology centre”.

BUDGET: Osborne announced money is to be spent increasing broadband speeds and public Wi-Fi He explained, “Two years ago Britain had some of the slowest broadband speeds in Europe, today our plans will deliver some of the fastest.

“But we should not be complacent by saying it is enough to be the best in Europe when countries like Korea and Singapore do even better.”

Government officials speaking to The Guardian said that money is to be used in neighbourhoods where large, private broadband companies such as BT are unlikely to install high-speed broadband access.

The City of Edinburgh Council, however, has expressed plans to use the government’s funding to intro-

duce open access Wi-Fi zones in public places such as Edinburgh city centre, the Meadows, Princes Street Gardens and along the tram route to Edinburgh Airport.

The scheme has been praised by a spokesman for BT who said that, “Speeds of up to 80 megabits per second will be available to ten million homes this year and that number will rise over the next few years to close to 90 per cent with the help of government funds ... ensuring that businesses and consumers across the UK have access to world leading speeds should they wish.”

Councillor for Newington and Southside, Cameron Rose, said, “There are a lot of people looking for

this kind of connectivity.

“While the revenue costs will fall on the council there are opportunities for income generation because everyone wants this connectivity and the information that will come from it.”

Critics, however, have dismissed the government’s efforts as “half hearted.”

Morag Lucey of Convergys, a telecoms billing group said, “Against the backdrop of the £200 billion being invested in energy and transport infrastructure, funding from all public sources for broadband up to 2015 is likely to be smaller than government revenue from the digital dividend spectrum auction.”

Chris Andrew, Company Secretary of the Student Loans Company said, “We would like to apologise to those customers whose email addresses were disclosed to other students.

Chris Andrew, Student Loans Company

“The Student Loans Company takes the security of student accounts and the protection of personal information very seriously and we have strict procedures in place to protect customer details.”

The Student Loans Company defended their mistake by saying that the leaked information was only email addresses and no other personal information was shared.

However, a number of email fraud schemes can be run with just email addresses, including companies that can misrepresent themselves in order to gain personal information from

the targets of the scam.

With individual losses contributing to 10 per cent of the £4 billion lost to fraud last year, anti-fraud agencies have been urging people to keep all their details as private as possible, including email addresses to prevent phishing scams.

As soon as the company was aware of the blunder they contacted all affected to inform them of the issue and have reported their breach to the relevant authorities. Andrew added, “We have now launched our own internal investigation into the causes of this breach.”

The minimum wage for 16 to 17 year olds and 18 to 20 year olds, at £3.68 and £4.98 respectively, will, on the other hand, be frozen at their current rates.

Cable defended taking this “very hard decision,” he argued there was no incentive to raise the rates if it meant potentially making it harder for young people to get a job in the long term.

This freeze is an unprecedented move as the minimum wage for 18 to 20 year olds has increased every year since its introduction by Tony Blair’s Labour government in 1999.

The minimum rate for 16-17 year olds, implemented in 2004, has also consistently risen from 2005.

Speaking to Channel 4 News, Faiza Shaheen, senior researcher at the New Economics Foundation, a

left of centre economics think tank, warned of the dangers this pay freeze posed to young people on minimum income.

Shaheen said, “The government needs to make sure that this is a temporary measure. What could easily happen is that young people are put in low paid jobs, and then employers keep them on a very low wage, even as the cost of living is rising and the economy is recovering.

“If low paid jobs are stepping stones it is easier to justify the freeze.

But if it puts them on a pathway to a low income, even as inflation is rising, it will only add to the factors making life for low-wage earners very uncomfortable.

“The government hasn’t done the research that I can see, to back this up and look at the medium to long

Email blunder threatens student privacy Nina Seale

STUDENT FINANCE England has issued an apology to students for sending an email to 8,400 students with an attachment containing the email contact details of everyone on the distribution list.

The government body, part of the Student Loans Company helping with student loans across the country, sent the email to remind students to complete their finance application and mistakenly added a spreadsheet detailing the email addresses of their mailing list.

“

We would like to apologise to those customers whose email addresses were disclosed."

Youth minimum wage frozen Stephen Maughan

THE GOVERNMENT have announced that the minimum wage rate for youths between the age of 16 and 20 is to be frozen whilst the adult rate is to be increased.

Recommendations from the Low Pay Commission were warmly received and announced by the Business Secretary, Vince Cable, last week. Cable said the recommendations, “struck the right balance between pay and jobs.”

From October, the adult minimum wage rate is to be increased by 11 pence from £6.19 to £6.30 an hour meaning that adult workers on the minimum wage will see their salaries increase by £228.80 per annum.

term effects on career progression.”

However, the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) has expressed support for the government’s plans.

Katja Hall, chief policy director at the CBI has said, “Businesses will welcome the approach taken to this year’s National Minimum Wage rates.

“The moderate rise in the adult rate and the freeze in the youth rates will come as a relief to the many hard-pressed firms right across the country.

“With youth unemployment at its highest level for a generation, we must take great care not to price young people out of a job.

“Freezing the minimum wage will help reduce one of the barriers to employers deciding whether or not to take on a young person.”

THE CBI

Apple Store coming to Princes street

EDINBURGH IS entitled to a share of £100 million of government investment ring fenced to develop high speed broadband and Wi-Fi connections in key city areas.

In his recent budget, George Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, announced that Edinburgh is to be one of ten cities to benefit from the funding intended to deliver ultrafast 100 megabits per second broadband access and improve the nation’s infrastructure.

Across the UK, it is expected that 1.7 million households and 3 million residents will benefit from this faster internet connection.

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Send your letters to: editors@studentnewspaper.org

6 Editorial

Editorial

An Ode to Jaffa Cakes by Tess

Join us!

Cupboard, Cupboard in the wall, what’s the fairest biscuit of them all?

Should we rely on Rebecca Brown to answer this call?

Not the dry chocolate and oatey Hobnob Which is so filling you feel like a blob Rich tea biscuits should be renamed poor They are so dull they leave you wanting more Nice biscuits aren’t so kind If you dislike coconut you’ll be left behind Jammy Dodgers are the Doctor’s favourite snack Sticky, sweet cardboard, I’d rather have a Dalek attack And sorry to ruin the custard cream But it’s filling looks like a wet dream Before these rhymes dissolve more than a biscuit in a mug of tea It’s time to answer the question, the Jaffa Cake is the fairest, you see

No experience necessary!

With chocolate, orange and cake, there are 3 layers Out of all the biscuits, the Jaffa Cake is a player It can’t decide whether it’s a biscuit or a cake It’s officially a cake, just for the tax break McVities said Jaffa were cakes in court Their argument was sweet and short Biscuits go soft and mushy when stale Cakes get hard, a different end to this tale But Jaffa Cakes firm up All the better to be dunked in your cup McVities won the lawsuit They don’t have to pay the VAT to boot Yet in 1999, The Sun Newspaper held a poll of its readers They think Jaffa Cakes are biscuits, they are too dumb to be world leaders

The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join our team. We're also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.

Track us down: » In person: Meetings every Tuesday in Teviot Dining Hall at 1.15pm. Socials: Tuesdays in The Counting House at 8.30pm.

Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org Facebook: tinyurl.com/StudentFacebook Twitter: twitter.com/TheStudentPaper Tumblr: thestudentpaper.tumblr.com

I don’t care whether you’re a cake or cookie You are almost as orange as Snooki You once came in lemon-lime But that’s a citrus crime You also were flavoured as blackcurrant What a deterrent Let’s not even talk about strawberry Any other fruit makes me wary The truth is there’s no better fruit For orange and chocolate are in cahoots Nothing rhymes with orange And on that I will end Jaffa Cakes are a favourite of The Student staff Any other biscuit would be daft

EUSA's dark horse candidate

A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole.

Editors Tess Malone/Ali Quaile

Assistant editor for production James Gilchrist

Head copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Monika Antonova/Sophia Cosby/John Hewitt Jones/ Alasdair MacLeod/Katy Sheen Head of marketing Matt McDonald

Photo editor Emily Jarrett Multimedia Thomas Ware Web editors Lewis Dunne/Mayumi IharaQuinones Illustration Commissioner Cat O'Neil President Lewis Dunne Secretary Varvara Bashkirova Treasurer Helen Stride  Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ  editors@studentnewspaper.org

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by Lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian Newsprint (part of the CN Group), Carlisle Print Centre, Newspaper House, Dalston Road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Monday March 26 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

ALIQUAILE

News Sam Bradley/Alasdair Drennan/Lewis MacDonald/Leo Michelmore Comment Daniel Kraemer/Joel Sharples/Daniel Swain Features Nina Bicket/Cameron Taylor/Alice McGurran Lifestyle Lilidh Kendrick/Marissa Trew Science & Environment Zoe Blah/Rebecca Chan/Nina Seale Tech Tom Hasler/Alasdair MacLeod Horoscopes Max Johnson/Guy Rughani/Ben Scally Crosswords John Wakely Culture Troy Holmes/Thom Louis/Michael Mackenzie Music Joshua Angrave/Anna Feintuck/Tom Kinney Film Robert Dickie/Sally Pugh/Kirsty Wareing TV Alistair Grant/Leo Michelmore Commission Kathryn Lloyd Sport Davie Heaton/Chris Waugh

WITH THE EUSA elections taking place this week, The Student looks at this year’s dark horse, Barry Evans. A late addition to the running, Evans’s presidential campaign has created a much needed surge of interest in the elections. Every year, only a fraction of the student population vote, a factor which Evans outlines in his presidential statement.

“Winning candidates from previous years have done the Polar opposite

to what they promised during the campaigning period. I aim to focus on the bear essentials, providing realistic goals that can be easily achieved.

“Amongst my policies, I plan to make a greener Edinburgh, creating a natural stream between George Square and Kings Buildings. Not only will this provide the opportunity of farming sustainably sourced fish to all student unions, it will enable a faster means of travelling between university build-

ings.

“I also intend to improve the student accommodation problem by providing luxury igloos as a desirable alternative to Pollock Halls. Each ice pad will be equipped with all the necessary creature comforts, including free wi-fish, an en suite plunge pool and centrally-heated nar-walls.

“I am not your average student, but if you bear with me, I can save this university from an untimely grizzly end.”

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Comment 7

Peace prospects slaughtered?

IT IS now several weeks since the initial reports emerged on 11 March that an American soldier had set out on a killing spree in the rural southern area of Kandahar in Afghanistan, killing 16 civilians in their homes, at least nine of whom were children. Outrage and apologies surged for days after the attack, with President Obama and Defence Secretary Leon Panetta clamouring to reassure Afghan President Hamid Karzai there would be thorough investigations, whilst Karzai ordered NATO troops out of Afghan villages and angry civilians burned effigies of Obama and crosses in the street. Now the initial flurry of emotion has passed and in this clearer light, the effects of the shooting look less dramatic, but nonetheless bleak. It appears that some kind of insufficient justice will be passed on Staff Sgt Robert Bales, named as the accused on 17 March. His crimes will only serve as an excuse to quicken America’s military withdrawal from Afghanistan, where a workable peace is becoming increasingly difficult to deliver.

The whole debacle has been disastrous for America's image, which could be extrapolated to all of the western world. Clear, yet unsurprising, hypocrisy has been at play, with the US making sure that Sgt Bales was safely in transit back to the US before revealing his identity. Interesting when you consider their reputation for being so quick to haul any foreign suspect over to America should they be found breaking US laws. It would seem that

when it comes to “one of our boys”, as his lawyer refers to Sgt Bales, “treating him fairly” means denying the Afghan call for him to be tried where he committed his crime. Admittedly, the penalty for murder in Afghanistan is death and the death penalty is what many top Afghan officials are now calling for in the US. Panetta has conceded that this is possible, yet seeing as Sgt Bales is a decorated soldier and the US military has not executed a service member since 1961, this seems highly unlikely. What’s more, the death penalty is really beside the point; the point is the implication of special status for US soldiers as outside national law and above the people of Afghanistan.

This institutional attitude of superiority must have carried over to the soldiers, as how else can you explain a father of two shooting scores of defenceless women and children? Sgt Bales’s wife has recently expressed in public her profound sadness and confusion. Even to outside observers, it seems incomprehensible that an experienced soldier, vouched for by his neighbours as a good man, can go out in the early morning hours, knocking on the doors of civilians’ houses and gun down whole families. These were no ‘heat of the moment’ killings, and while it is true that Bales had recently seen a friend severely injured and was reluctant to serve his third term in Afghanistan, this does not seem to be a sufficient explanation.

This lack of adequate explanation for the events of 11 March hints at deep

UNWELCOME: US-Afghan relations are at an all-time low following the massacre problems with the US army psyche.

Either this soldier sees ordinary Afghan people, including women and children, as subhuman enemies, undeserving of life, or his own mental state is so engulfed by futile violence and horror that he deteriorated to the stage where he can no longer control his actions.

America is currently reviewing their mental health check, but this just does not feel like enough. More and more it is looking like an international presence in Afghanistan is driving civilians into the arms of the Taliban and doing more harm than good. Yet to hasten with-

drawal without following through on a peace agreement with the Taliban will only lead to civil war and risk a return of an oppressive ruling party that seeks to destroy human rights and freedoms.

Negotiation was really the last leg western powers had to stand on and thanks to Sgt Bales it may no longer be an option. Since the attack, the Taliban have refused to continue with the hard-won peace discussions that began earlier this year, and President Karzai, America’s supposed ally, has gone so far as to call US troops ‘demons’.

It has now emerged that Bales will

FLICKR: THE U.S. ARMY

Rosie Stock Jones argues that the actions of Sgt. Bales may have squandered any hope for peace in Afghanistan

be charged with 17 counts of murder and six counts of assault, all of which he claims to have no memory of. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, the events of 11 March are likely to be something that we remember for a while. Whatever flimsy bridges had been built with the people of Afghanistan over the last decade have now gone up in flames and in a phone call to Reuters, the Taliban promised to take revenge. The immediate hysteria may have quietened down, but it’s likely that the real effects of Sgt Bales morning shooting spree have yet to make themselves felt.

The health of British democracy

Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths attacks the government’s misguided plans for child benefit reforms

LAST TUESDAY saw the passing of the coalition’s controversial Health and Social Care Bill. First arriving in Parliament in January 2011, the bill has taken some 18 months to pass through politicians, health care officials and an embittered general public. Now, faced with the largest shake-down of the NHS since its creation, England will have to grin and bear it through what is warned will be “a significant cause of regret”. The reform, which will see the abolition of the current primary care trusts and strategic health authorities, is intended to hand back power to the patients and improve the quality of our health care system. Or so they say.

Despite fierce opposition from Labour, medical officials and the general public, the new healthcare laws, some one thousand amendments later, will soon be in place in England. A widespread outcry just isn’t enough anymore.

One has to question where all the democracy has gone. Living in a nation that idealises equality and fairness, our right to a say in the way our country is

run is a privilege we have been widely blessed with.The very ideals of the NHS, founded on the socialist principles of Nye Bevan in 1948, were those of every person’s right to a good standard of care, regardless of any other economic or social factors. Such changes do not only completely undermine its original creed, with fears of privatisation as an “inevitable consequence of many of the policies”; its gung ho passage through parliament speaks volumes about the current state of British politics.

With politicians and media pressing ideas of transparency in government, the bill managed to dip under the political radar for far too long. Mentioned in neither the conservative party campaign nor the coalition mandate, the government did not speak up when they needed to. Such reforms, which would have been long in the planning, were not mentioned until the coalition had been in power for seven months.

Despite Cameron’s promise of “no more top down reorganisation”, the NHS has now been shaken to its core.

All of this seems painfully familiar.

Wind back two years ago, to the May 2010 election campaign, when the leftleaning Liberal Democrats pledged to stand against any proposed rise in tuition fees following Lord Browne’s damning report on higher education funding. On the back of this, Clegg managed to procure hundreds upon thousands of votes from a student populace rightly disillusioned by the sky high debts that many will be facing. A matter of months after making said promise, however, the coalition was formed and the rest, as they say, is history.

With Edinburgh, like other universities, increasing their fees for English students at a whopping five times their original rate, such education is now simply out of reach for many. Although thousands took up their placards and marched through city streets, lobbying MPs and occupying university buildings, our cries went shamefully unheard.

What was once a political promise had turned into a political perjury.

Although the cuts affected all areas of society, the students were arguably left to feel like a marginalised majority with dwindling support from even the general public themselves. People did not like us getting angry, they did not like us interrupting our structure and they did not like London coming to a standstill. What differs this time around is that nearly everyone is outraged.

“

With politicians and media pressing ideas of transparency in government, the bill managed to dip under the political radar for far too long."

Albeit problematic in parts, the NHS is one of our greatest institutions. With over 1.7 million staff, it is

the world’s sixth largest employer and something we are thoroughly proud of. Furthermore, after a problematic period, it has improved within the past decade. Despite Cameron’s aforementioned promise a top down reorganisation is precisely what we have been left with. Leaders within the medical field strongly opposed the reforms, unions have been up in arms due to the changes and the general public screamed a decisive “no”.

Unfortunately, despite over a million people who campaigned to “kill the bill”, the bill lives on. Fuelled by patronising party politics and an arrogance of a government who think they know best, the general public have been left politically speechless with our socalled democracy allowing us no voice.

The flagship ‘Big Society’, now aided by Clegg’s limited Lib Dem input, seems to be essentially limiting and not empowering the people. After all, what use is power to individual communities if the collective community has no power at all?

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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8 Comment

Lost languages Alcohol Pricing and the Hipstocracy THIS WEEK saw the government in Westminster indefinitely ruining claims that it only pursues popular policies by increasing the price of cheap alcohol in a fit of classist moralism.

Alcohol prices have long been a lynchpin of a government’s popularity; my father once gave me the life-long lesson that rising alcohol prices makes people hate governments. So why then does the coalition government, who certainly don’t have popularity to throw around, insist on pursuing a policy so unpopular with the electorate? By increasing the cost of premium lager and cheap wine, the coalition is all too easily justifying the common claims that it is elitist- with its policy affecting only those drinks consumed by the poorer sections of society.

Pundits have speculated on the government's motives behind its brazen class warfare; however, they all seem to have missed the point. This trend in Conservative policy began long before the 2010 election and was evident in David Cameron’s adoration of The Smiths and Michael Gove’s regular appearances on Newsnight Review, intricately examining the cultural connotations of boring plays. The coalition government is not a plutocracy (rule by the wealthy), but a hipstocracy (rule by hipsters).

The government’s policies all fit the hipster mode. A wildly unpopular economic policy characterised by austerity measures, benefits cuts and selective tax rises with the aim of making everyone in the country wear elbow patches again.

This includes the ceaseless campaign to privatise everyone’s favourite brand of government department, the NHS, in favour of smaller independent health providers run by people who really care about ‘the industry’ and use clinical theatres built out of vinyl. Not to mention the Gove-driven idea of importing the American concept of charter schools, as if it were American Apparel.

Hipsters at the top of the Conservative party are enacting policies just to avoid conforming with those losers like Germany and the US, whose economies are recovering at a much more rapid rate, goddamn corporate sell-outs.

The aim of these policies is not clear at the present moment. It's possible that the Conservatives are attempting to orchestrate a new era of Cool Britannia and then Oasis and Blur can hang around in Number Ten again and it’ll be great. Maybe the hipsters are trying to imbed a cultural consciousness that is suspicious of the whole notion of cool, thus creating a more dynamic, creative culture. This argument is supported by the slashing of arts budgets – real artists don’t need money, it's for mainstream nobodies.

There is, of course, the argument that there is no guiding intelligence behind the government’s policies, but our leaders are so well educated on 90s indie music that that couldn’t possibly be true, could it?

Daniel Swain

FLOODING INTO every student’s inbox recently was the intriguing news that the University of Edinburgh is working on creating a Gaelic Language Plan. This plan is aimed at raising the profile of Gaelic in the university and creating practical opportunities for its use. Edinburgh isn’t the only universityAberdeen, Glasgow, Strathclyde and the University of the Highlands and Islands have all been asked to submit a plan by the Bòrd Na Gàidhlig, the public body responsible for the preservation of the Gaelic language.

Universities are a natural focus point for those wishing to revitalise Scotland’s endangered native language, with their multifaceted role as centres of research and education, public institutions and intellectual communities. At Edinburgh, students can already take Gaelic lessons for credit or kicks, attend various cultural events organised by the Gaelic community, take courses taught in Gaelic and even submit their dissertation in Gaelic, if they wish. However, the University’s dedication to promoting the language is not what it could be, according to Liam Crouse, ex-President of the Highland Society. The Society is planning to formally recommend the appointment of a Gaelic Development Officer to the planners. Crouse said, “Edinburgh, the home of Scotland’s first Celtic Chair, is now going to be one of the last with a Gaelic Development Officer (if we even get one)...the Celtic Chair has lain empty for four years...I am, in a way, embarrassed to be a Gaelic student at Edinburgh University, as the other universities have been so helpful and supportive of the Gaelic cause, and yet we have nothing to look to here.” It is hoped by Crouse and others that the Gaelic Language Plan will take the University’s involvement a step further, raising Gaelic to a level of equality such that anyone may interact with the university entirely in Gaelic if

FLICKR: WHAT'S THE RUSH?

Melissa Geere questions the value of Edinburgh's Language Plan in reviving Gaelic

THE HIGHLANDS: Even the most typically Scottish settings are not home to Gaelic

they choose to.

One possibility is to introduce a Gaelic Accommodation scheme, allowing students to request to be placed in first year accommodation with other Gaelic speakers. Other plans include increasing signage in Gaelic and making available Gaelic Awareness courses. The only thing holding the university back is the worry that these services won’t be used enough to validate the resources spent on them.

Yet it is difficult to foster interest without having such services in place.

Policy makers are inclined to look to Gaelic’s more successful cousin, Welsh, for strategies for increasing speaker numbers. The Welsh government is aiming to have seven per cent of students who were schooled in Wales studying at least part of their higher education course in Welsh.

This combined with compulsory Welsh in schools and the language’s increasing importance for employment to the public sector, all the result of direct government action, has made Welsh revitalisation a

relative success story. That said, there is much ground still to be gained in changing public attitudes, especially in young people, about the usefulness of the language.

Will Edinburgh’s Language Plan change public attitudes towards Gaelic?

It would perhaps not be wise to conjecture on the number of Language Plan questionnaires that ended up in student spam folders last week. It is one thing to go along to the odd ceilidh, or even to take a few evening classes in the language, but the average student outside the Celtic & Scottish Studies department will not make Gaelic speaking a priority. It may be of cultural interest, but unlike Welsh, it is currently of little use in most careers.

Promoting Gaelic at the university will have to be a painstakingly gradual process, and for it to work, will have to coincide with expanding Gaelic further into schools on one side and the workplace on the other. The tentative success of minority language plans in Wales

Pipeline partition

can serve as a model. This governmentheaded approach applied to Scottish schools- for instance creating a Scottish Studies course- has come under criticism as an attempt to politicise young people.

Whether it is right to expend resources on forcing a mass change of attitude in this way is an entirely political question. There is no doubt that it can work- Hebrew, for instance, was brought back from the dead in Israel- but it will require heavy positive discrimination from the government, which not everyone agrees with. Is Gaelic revival like beating a dead horse which no one cares about or is it an opportunity to empower a long-forgotten minority and strengthen Scotland’s cultural identity?

For better or for worse, Gaelic is not just a facet of Scottish culture, but a protege of nationalist politics, so expect to see plenty more of this top-down approach to its advancement.

To have your say on the issue within the university, complete the questionnaire at https://www.survey.ed.ac.uk/gaelic2012

Lewis Dunne discusses the motives behind Shetland and Orkney's independence threats LAST WEEK, it was argued that in the event of a ‘yes’ vote for independence in Scotland, the Northern Isles should be allowed to either opt out of an independent Scotland or become independent themselves. The issue was brought to the forefront by Liberal Democrat MSPs for Shetland and Orkney in a submission to the government consultation on the Scottish independence referendum.

Far from an independent Scotland being united and free, the consultation poses some interesting questions about the possibility of a post-independence partition.

Despite the consultation, Northern Isles independence is a minor issue as a whole. The core vote on the Shetland Islands and Orkney is unionist, with the SNP as the main opposition. It has been argued that the Northern Isles opting out of an independent Scotland and remaining within the UK might scupper the SNP’s plans for a post-independence Scotland due to the sizeable gas and oil reserves within the maritime boundaries for the Shetlands and Orkney, but this is only really a half truth. If the islands stayed within the UK, then their maritime boundary would be a great deal smaller than if they were an indepen-

dent state. Scotland would, therefore, retain the bulk of oil and gas reserves.

It’s only if the Isles voted for their own independence that they’d be granted much larger maritime boundaries, which might give them control of up to a quarter of remaining Scottish North Sea oil and gas reserves. With support for Northern Isles independence so low, this is largely a non-issue.

“

Partition creates all kinds of problems, the most notable being at what level it should be implemented."

The real motive behind this is probably to give the Liberal Democrat MSPs for the Northern Isles political leverage, which they can use to achieve greater autonomy for the Isles. Political autonomy would, in turn, let them keep a lot of North Sea oil revenue on the Isles, which would substantially increase their local budgets to the benefit of the residents of the Shetlands and Orkney.

Although it may appear this is all more realpolitik than romantic nationalism, this debate does bring a key question to notice: whether areas that might vote in favour of staying within the UK in an independence referendum, would be granted their wish.

As a political unit, Scotland has always been organic; it has changed and adapted throughout its history, with the Shetland Islands and Orkney being part of an independent Scotland for less time than Scotland has been part of the UK. With Scotland’s organic history in mind, future changes to the territorial integrity of Scotland as a single cohesive political unit look less daunting.

Furthermore, there are examples of this type of partition in practice- from West Virginia, to Northern Ireland, to Serbs in Northern Kosovo wishing to rejoin Serbia. It seems somewhat undemocratic to force certain regions to join an independent Scotland, especially in light of Scottish constitutional theory, which puts sovereignty squarely in the hands of the people.

Partition creates all kinds of problems, the most notable being at what level it should be implemented. It could be argued that it should be done on a

council by council basis, but it would be equally as logical to do it on a constituency basis. This could lead to a slippery slope argument with nationality being decided on a house by house basis.

The issue of whether strongly Unionist parts of Scotland will be able to stay in the UK will probably only become major in the event that the nationalists win the referendum vote. For now, both sides believe they might win the referendum vote and are therefore unlikely to discuss partition. Northern Isles independence is also likely to remain a minor issue unless Scottish independence is granted. In that case, we actually might see it as a political alternative in the Isles- both as a backlash against SNP centralisation plans and also due to the greater economic and political benefits independence might bring to the Isles. Quite rightly, both Unionists and Nationalists want to avoid talk of partition and focus on the larger independence debate. This issue is largely illusory, but both sides do have the duty to discuss all ramifications Scottish independence might bring. Ultimately, it is only with Scotland’s organic past in mind that we can truly decide its future.

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 9

Undercover on the trail IT’S 8AM and bleary-eyed people are beginning to assemble at the flat. Ten minutes and a large pot of coffee later, the team are firing on all cylinders and the meeting gets down to business.

The session begins with a quick run-down of the campaign’s progress so far- briefly discussing what’s worked, what hasn’t and what can be improved- before carrying on down the agenda of points to be debated.

Discussion gets heated over the issue of where resources would be best placed.

Aside from the publicity budget, each EUSA presidential candidate has just £90 to spend on their campaign. This poses a challenge as everything, from website URLs down to the last paperclip, must be declared.

It’s a week until the polls open on MyEd; a make-or-break moment in the election, so it’s vital that they get this right. A false strategic move now will cost them dearly when it comes to the final vote.

The central preoccupation is clear.

As one of the candidates' strategists puts it, “We just have to get the message out there.” Those running for EUSA positions must do everything they can to get their faces known around the university campus, meeting everyone they can, securing as many votes as possible.

The minutiae of the campaign will be discussed and every possible publicity event planned meticulously to ensure the most exposure possible.

As with a national political campaign, it’s all about managing the candidate’s time as effectively as possible. A moment not spent connecting with the electorate is a moment wasted. Lectures and academic work, of course, go out the window for these two weeks.

For the candidate and his campaign team, the days are long. There is a constant sense of apprehension as to where the opposition are and what they’re doing. This is particularly the case as there’s a clash of ideology between the groups backing two of the presidential candidates Hugh Murdoch and James McAsh; a group encompassing a wide range of leftward views and a support base from the hard left Defend Edinburgh set, respectively.

“

Here are a set of people bound together by a desire to elicit change and a determination to make a difference."

Orders are rapidly despatched and the campaign team splits up. Some head out to continue putting up posters; an exercise in logistics and lamp-

JOHN HEWITT JONES

From the inside of a EUSA presidential campaign, John Hewitt Jones reports on what happens behind the scenes

INDECISION: Your vote could determine the future of these candidates post scaling that has been going on since the campaign period began on March 15.

Poster pasting on the opening day of the campaign is a ferocious affair, with teams hovering around Bristo Square and the allocated accommodation hoardings in order to nab prime position. Hours have been spent in preparation; cardboard scavenged from local supermarkets and gallons of wallpaper paste mixed to ensure that the opposition is outdone. Whilst the posters certainly aren’t the be-all and end-all of a campaign, the Saatchi & Saatchi's of the designs will make an impact on passers-by, hopefully to be followed up later on to secure a vote.

Others head out to continue doorknocking: the single most vital tool a candidate has in getting his or her message to voters. This involves the candidate’s team visiting all the different areas of university accommodation across Edinburgh to knock on students’ doors and encourage them to vote for the right person.

It’s a real art; from the moment someone opens the door, you have just a few seconds to make your pitch.

What comes as a positive surprise is the number of students who take a real interest in what’s going on with student politics. It can also be an exercise in sensitivity and self-restraint, as towards the end of the campaign, many halls will have been visited multiple times and residents can feel harassed.

There’s no doubt, however, that this is a vital procedure for both parties; it’s the one time when the candidates

can really engage with those whose votes they rely on to get into office.

It’s also an opportunity for students to ask questions and establish exactly whether the person knocking on their door is a voice that best represents them and to challenge policies that they don’t agree with.

Every form of interaction with voters is explored, with much time being devoted to the campaign online by utilising Twitter and Facebook to keep people up-to-date with the action. Video is a central part of the campaign I am following and time is scheduled for the candidate to make up quick films that will highlight areas of policy.

Teasers are put together with remarkable speed and finesse and high viewing figures pay tribute to the efficacy of some of the longer videos.

One of them is so effective it receives attention from the president of the National Union of Students Scotland; a morale boost for the campaign.

Planning goes into stunts such as dressing up at the Big Cheese, which will hopefully get the candidate noticed and later result in some fetchingly branded Facebook photos. It’s certainly a very effective way of reaching out to people and getting them involved and it’s also fun. Working within the team, it's clear that despite the occasional private moan, interacting with people is the key motivation for seeking election. There’s nothing like coming out of a door-knock with the feeling that you’ve spoken to someone, they’ve engaged with you, liked what you’ve had to say and af-

firmed that you’re on the right track.

EUSA can, at times, seem pretty removed. But with the right person in office next year, this should continue to change. For all the backbiting, political machinations and weird acronyms, what’s clear is that the people involved are remarkable. Here is a set of people bound together by a desire to elicit change and a determination to make a difference. People who are prepared to put their studying on hold and work to get elected because they have a genuine desire and commitment to improving students’ lives.

“

People are willing to argue, often fiercely, in defence of a particular cause or idea."

This is a chance for people to get involved and actually make a difference. Regardless of students’ activity in EUSA, elections are a chance for everyone to make their voice heard.

Yes, the overwhelming number of posters in Bristo Square may seem boring after a time, but this really is important stuff.

At the presidential election debate arranged by Edinburgh's student radio Fresh Air and The Student last week, candidate James Wood maintained that his position as an apolitical candidate made him stand out as a contender. There is certainly a discussion to be had over the sup-

port EUSA provides to independent candidates, but anyone thinking of levelling an accusation that there’s such a thing as taking student politics too seriously would do well to think again. As the protests last November demonstrated, the student voice is an extremely potent, exciting force.

Those who seek to make changes are students who have an opinion and usually a political bent. Following this campaign, it’s become extremely clear that having a base of focused, politically engaged supporters is very healthy. There are fraught moments; moments when tensions run high, as they should within a group where there is room for a diverse range of opinion and voices of dissent. By virtue of being committed to their position, people are willing to argue, often fiercely, in defence of a particular cause or idea – normally one that aligns with personal experience.

These elections matter because they are central in reminding us where we stand and who we entrust with the authority to speak on behalf of students at the university as a whole.

It is worth mentioning, for instance, that the University’s newly-appointed rector,Peter McColl, is also convenor of Edinburgh Green Party; but there are not many who would stop and consider the effect this might have on the institution’s body politic.

Whatever you do, make sure you vote in the elections between 12pm on 27 March and 12pm on 29 March.

You can do this on MyEd. Everyone at the university has a voice and it’s essential that we make use of it.

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Let's hear it!: features@studentnewspaper.org

10 Features

Inny or outy?

Robert Dickie discusses the limitations and benefits of being a black sheep at university THE STEREOTYPICAL student underwent a transformation during the 20th century, from the introverted, study-oriented character found in any 19th-century novel to the extroverted, socially-oriented individual that populates universities across the country today. The social experience has become an essential part of university life, for some eclipsing academic achievement as the motivation for going in the first place.

This is not a spontaneous development or random evolution; it reflects changes in the way higher education is perceived by society and its increasing emphasis on personal and social development. The modern working environment demands employees who are not just highly educated, but also conform to a specific profile, which emphasises extroversion along with its desired traits. Reflecting the society they work for, universities are placing more emphasis on developing extroverted young adults and their social environments are increasingly focused on extroverted activities. Both these factors marginalise introverts to an extent, arguably making university life more challenging than ever.

The concepts of introversion and extroversion are well established in the public vocabulary, but this does not prevent them from being frequently misunderstood. Introverts are defined as being more concerned with interiority, and generally prefer fewer, less intense social activities, smaller circles of friends and feel the need to recharge after periods of interaction.

However, the term does not imply shyness or a lack of confidence, and, despite popular opinion, extroverts are just as likely as introverts to be that socially awkward penguin. The majority of people fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, displaying a mixture of introverted and extroverted characteristics, but even moderately introverted students will at times feel the pressures of an extroverted world.

University seems like it should be the perfect environment wherein introverts could thrive- offering ample opportunity for concentrated personal study, justified by the reward of better overall grades. Introverts are statistically more successful academically and will derive more benefit from thinking and reading alone, which takes up a significant proportion of any degree course. Given a subject they are interested in, introverts should find personal study more stimulating, whereas extroverts might struggle with the relative isolation of essay writing and

“

The concepts of introversion and extroversion are well established in the public vocabulary, but this does not prevent them from being frequently misunderstood."

INTROVERTED OR EXTROVERTED: embrace standing out from the crowd revision.

However, society, by and large, values extroverts above introverts, and this trend is being incorporated into the structure of universities. Introverts are perceived as needing a justification for being the way they are – a theoretical physicist working at CERN can get away with it, while a middle-income office worker will find it more difficult.

Introverts are seen as failing to contribute to society and have to prove themselves in other ways, whereas the sociability of an extrovert is justification in itself. It seems extroverts have less to prove and if success comes, then all the better. The relative undervaluation of introverts is endemic in working environments – you only need to glance at job advertisements to see the necessity of communication skills for just about any position and these are judged in extroverted terms.

Introverts can communicate perfectly well, but will show less inclination to do so, making it unlikely to form a significant part of their CV. Finding a job is now the endgame for most university students – education for its own sake has long been dead at undergraduate level – and assessment methods are changing to fit the criteria set by working culture. It is difficult to find courses at the University of Edinburgh which assess you purely on essays and exams; students are increasingly graded on presentation skills, group projects and class participation. These activities do not have any obvious relation to the subject being studied and it can be frustrating for introverts to see grades fall as a result. They do not assess the student’s grasp of the subject, but their ability to use it in an interactive manner. To

less extroverted students, this type of assessment can appear as diversions from an otherwise stimulating course, especially as they don't play to their strengths. Group presentations and projects can be draining, as introverts are generally marginalised by more dominant personalities. Differences are often thrashed out rather than discussed intellectually. If introverts already find the situation difficult, they are not going to be in a position to get their points across. Their result is, to a great extent, taken out of their hands and assesses nothing more than the group’s ability to work as a group.

“

The majority of people fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, displaying a mixture of introverted and extroverted characteristics."

Class participation is another ambiguous form of assessment, which can cause anxiety and academic difficulty for introverts. Seminars and tutorials can be challenging environments, as introverts are forced to stop using the learning methods that work for them and become more interactive. Meaningful participation in seminars does not have to be verbal, but no tutor is going to give you a high grade for sitting in silent introspection. Introverts develop ideas internally, rather than through discussion, but the idea conveyed is that discussion is universally beneficial. Talking over the grading

IONICS

“

The modern working environment demands employees who are not just highly educated, but also conform to a specific profile, which emphasises extroversion along with its desired traits."

students are thrown into a new environment that demands continual interaction. Introverts will initially find it difficult justifying spending time alone, even to themselves. They are forced to either fake it or become isolated. Introversion comes dangerously close to being perceived as pathological, which can cause anxiety or depression. Fresher’s Week can be extremely draining, mentally and physically, for introverts, which means they are less likely to project a true impression of themselves. They rely on close relationships, which tend to be initially lacking at university and are not likely to find their sudden involvement in a large student body as stimulating as extroverts do.

problem with tutors more often than not comes down to questions about confidence, which are often irrelevant, but are not easily refuted.

The skills picked up in seminars are undoubtedly transferable to an office meeting or boardroom and can have more immediate benefits as well. The issue is not the value of the exercises per se, but their relative value in the wider scheme of university education.

Should a ten minute presentation be worth the same marks as a course essay? It is difficult to argue that it should – degrees are not vocational training courses. However, universities must to some extent be seen as producing the students demanded of them. If qualifications fail to provide a reliable means of judging someone’s ability to work in a given area, their practical value is diminished, and this can have further consequences for introverts.

Employers are now reluctant to rely solely on academic criteria and their requirements encapsulate the entire university experience. Social life becomes assessed to the same extent as academic life, which means introverts must become more extroverted to be seen as making the most of their opportunity. To be seen as valuable, social activities must be organised and verifiable. As Edinburgh’s Careers Service always points out, in this competitive environment, the difference between getting an interview and a rejection letter might be as small as a committee position in a society.

The social pressures of university are not just external, but stem from the stereotypes and popular ideas of what a student should be. This is never clearer than during Fresher’s Week, as

Universities have not abandoned introverts completely though, despite increasingly reflecting the demands of an extroverted world. The design of the Edinburgh’s main library is a case in point, as it includes a range of study spaces which offer varied levels of privacy and sociability. It is an ostensibly extroverted design, open with plenty of light, but there are enough spaces which encourage introspected learning. There are boundaries between the desks, not so large that extroverts feel enclosed, but enough to create an impression of personal space.

This sense of balance is what universities and society should strive for.

Universities should not be a place where only certain personality types can thrive; the social environment as well as academic methods should offer benefits for both introverts and extroverts in a more rounded experience. If assessment methods need to be changed to ensure students live up to expectations, it is essential that they are adequate at taking into account individual differences. The distinction between introspective thought and refusal to participate needs to be made much clearer to those in charge.

It is also important that universities encourage introverts to be who they are without having to conform to social pressures. Toning down stereotypical expectations, towards both introverts and extroverts would go a long way to restoring the social balance. Universities tend to be environments where introverts become more extroverted and extroverts become more introverted, naturally rather than through compulsion, which is a healthy developmental process.

However, there are signs of a largely unconscious trend towards increased marginalisation of introverts, which needs to be made fully conscious before it can be addressed.

Let's hear it!: features@studennewspaper.org

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 11

Hiring the homeless

ECSTATIC: Clarence clearly thinks the new scheme is beneficial for him HOW OFTEN do you buy The Big Issue? Or how many times have you given the vendor the money, telling them to hang on to the magazine?

In the technological world that now surrounds us, it seems that demand for street magazines is at an all time low. Do you ever buy The Big Issue for the magazine itself, or just the cause?

“

The most controversial aspect, however, was in the branding of the product - the vendors were asked to wear t-shirts which stated simply 'I am a Hotspot' - causing many to see the entire project as the commoditisation of humans."

These considerations were the starting point for an innovative experiment by BBM marketing agency in Austin, Texas to update the model of the street magazine.

The model currently in existence is one entirely about charity, for if the product is unwanted by the buyer, it is clear that sympathy and the desire to feel charitable are the driving forces behind the sale.

Though buying a street magazine for such a cause still remains a positive gesture, most would not pause to purchase one were they sold by an

average working man as opposed to a homeless one. BBM realised that if the product were one desired by the buyer regardless of who was selling it, not only would it bring in more income for the cause, but also a greater sense of worth for the vendor.

In this increasingly virtual world, the product in demand is internet access.

Every year Austin plays host to the South by Southwest festival, an enormous event comprising music, film and interactive attractions. The festival draws over 30,000 to the city and thus network access availability is hard to come by. BBM saw this event as the perfect opportunity to perform an experiment: ‘Homeless Hotspots’.

The idea is simple: provide a number of homeless individuals with 4G wireless devices and allow the public to purchase network access from them at a suggested price of $2 for fifteen minutes. BBM approached a city shelter with the idea, found thirteen homeless volunteers and discussed a fair and suitable method of payment for them (a minimum of $50 for a maximum of six hours work).

However, as news of this experiment spread earlier this week, it provoked outrage. Responses on the BBM website stated that the experiment was “gross and dehumanising” and, as discussions entitled “Insulting or ingenious?” began to sprout, the question as to the moral implication of the experiment came into focus.

Many deemed the experiment as in the same realm as the Victorians asking the homeless to hold posters.

Others called the hotpot vendors “helpless pieces of privilege-extending human infrastructure.” The most controversial aspect, however, was in the branding of the product – the

vendors were asked to wear t-shirts which stated simply ‘I am a Hotspot’ – causing many to see the entire project as the commoditisation of humans.

However, others perceived the opposite understanding by absorbing the facts of the experiment. The vendors weren’t ‘helpless’ - they volunteered themselves for the job – and quite rightly so. At a minimum of $50 for six hours work, they were earning over the Texan minimum wage in a way more enjoyable for most than the labour-intensive work they would otherwise be paid to do.

Not only that, but by selling a product desired by the masses at South by Southwest, they were no longer subjects of charity, but akin to any other vendor on the streets of the festival. Most importantly, and one of the primary aims of the initiative, was that to purchase network access it was necessary for the buyer to approach and speak to the vendor before proceeding to stay close to them for a minimum of fifteen minutes to maintain a good connection.

In this manner, admirers of the experiment have seen the product as a bridge in communication between the homeless and the rest of society, the need for contact being the key to opening discussion between the two.

Consider other people employed on the streets of such festivals in order to sell a product and you may be reminded of ‘Booth Babes’: scantily dressed women, paid to lure customers in to product shows. Such an occupation seems hugely similar to the vendors of ‘Homeless Hotspots’ and yet are Booth Babes dubbed as dehumanised? Perhaps, but the fact that it is the choice of the women who do the job teame d with the fact that they are being paid to do it often overrides this sentiment.

It is even possible to argue that the individuals employed by ‘Homeless Hotspots’ have it better than these Booth Babes if you consider the implications of each respective job on a CV - one reading, “Hired by a National marketing agency to represent an innovative idea and technology at one of the largest festivals of the year,” the other, “Hired for my buxom looks.”

It seems interesting and necessary to ask: why is it that the idea of ‘dehumanising’ a homeless individual, in the same sense that society regularly does to others, repels us so, especially when we consider how greatly it seems to benefit them greatly?

Consider the attitudes we harbour as we walk by the homeless every day and you’ll perhaps find that you fit into one of two categories. Firstly, you may believe most homeless people to be addicts or otherwise homeless as a result of their own failing, capable to find shelter should they really try.

Or, you avoid eye-contact as you pass by with a sense of sympathy and guilt that you are unable to help them, afraid that you don’t know where the money they beg for is going or why they find themselves in a situation where begging is necessary. Conceivably then, our difficulty in finding moral acceptance with experiments such as ‘Homeless Hotspots’ is a result of our

attitudes towards the homeless rather than any issue that directly affects the employed vendors.

A survey by Shelter Scotland found that young people in higher education were one of the groups most likely to express the broadly sympathetic statement that “most homeless people have just been unlucky in their lives.”

“

Admirers of the experiment have seen the product as a bridge in communication between the homeless and the rest of society, the need for contact the key to opening discussion between the two."

However, the said group were also the most likely to believe some of the myths surrounding homelessness – that ‘most homeless people sleep rough’ and that ‘most homeless people are hard drug users’, for example,

where in fact neither is often the case.

In fact, the great majority of homeless persons in Scotland are made so as a result of domestic violence, eviction or family break-up, and tend to sleep on the floors of friends and families.

Had the idea of ‘Homeless Hotspots’ been an initiative entirely conceived of and implemented by a group of homeless people without the intervention of other civilians who resemble ‘us’, would the project have been seen as controversial? It is not likely.

It seems that controversy only emerges on consideration of the relations between the homeless and the public. Our misunderstanding of homelessness leads us to ignorance about the true desires of those who find themselves in such a situation – the desire to remain integrated in society, to have any source of income. The sympathetic protection that society tends to provide for its homeless is not necessarily in the best interest or wish of the homeless individual.

Regardless of whether you personally believe ‘Homeless Hotspots’ to be morally permissible or not, the experiment has surely succeeded in provoking discussion, questioning attitudes and raising awareness of the true state of homeless living.

HARSH REALITY: The prospects for this man look altogether more bleak

SLR JESTER

BUZZFEED

Melody McIndoe looks at if the homeless are being aided or exploited by new schemes

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

LISA LANGE AND REBECCA CHAN

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Pause for thought environment and induced diapause on the early mouse embryo as expected.

They then repeated this experiment on an early sheep embryo. Sheep were not known to enter diapause and yet the same results were displayed, showing that sheep also possess this ability.

This evidence is hopeful in providing an insight into the unknowns of mammalian pregnancies. Another discovery made by the team showed that the same thing happens in cows and rabbits. This is currently unpublished but nonetheless looks likely to destroy the existing inconclusive theories suggesting a random, unrelated origin.

This research suggests a common evolutionary ancestor may be held responsible and that the ability to induce diapause could have been passed on.

Early mammalian embryos all show incredibly similar characteristics and so it is possible that these have been passed on. Ptak proposes that the reason it is not more prominent is because it is not required if the mammal is living within a nutritious regulated environment.

If diapause does occur in all mammals as suggested, this has huge implications for human embryology.

Ptak’s paper has no direct reference to human embryos, but later she notes the possibilities that if near the time of

conception the mother feels stressed, hormones could become unbalanced and lead to the uterus being less receptive, so diapause could occur. This links well with findings from Research Triangle Park, North Carolina in the 1990s, when researchers investigated the time taken for a human embryo to become implanted within the mother’s uterus in naturally conceived pregnancies. They found that there was a lot of variation. Following ovulation, implantation of the embryo into the uterus took place between 6 and 12 days. This leaves room to speculate that diapause could be responsible.

Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is the hormone secreted following implantation of human embryos into the uterus. In women undergoing IVF fertility treatment it is common for them to have a few weeks after receiving their eggs before hCG is released, which also supports the theory that human diapause could be possible. It definitely appears that diapause is much more widespread in mammals than previously thought. The evidence for human diapause, while not yet conclusive, could lead to important medical advances if it proves to be true. The more we understand about pregnancies the better care we can take care of pregnant women.

BREAK FROM THE BABY: Can stress cause diapause in humans?

FLICKR: WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM

DIAPAUSE IS the fascinating process that occurs within some animals, in which early embryos will cease to grow temporarily after fertilisation, if conditions within the uterus are not at their optimum. As soon as this issue is resolved, the embryo will become implanted in the uterus and continue development as normal, thus ensuring the embryo gets the best chance at early growth. Diapause has been well documented throughout the animal kingdom, yet was only known to be present within two per cent of mammals. Experts dismissed this as an example of convergent evolution (the same trait evolving in unrelated species independent to each other). However, this was never thoroughly investigated. A paper published this month in PLoS ONE entitled “Embryonic Diapause is Conserved across Mammals” by Grazyna Ptak and her team opposes this view, leaning towards the conclusion that all mammals are capable of diapause.

Ptak and her team of researchers based at the University of Teramo, Italy, investigated this theory. Mice with removed ovaries were used as the reference as they were part of the two per cent already known to induce diapause. The removal of the ovaries leads to a very unfavourable uterine

BODHI SURF SCHOOL

Do humans 'pause' embyronic growth when conditions are disadvantageous? Anna McLeod discusses the research

Fukushima in focus

One year on from the Fukushima nuclear disaster, Maithili Mehta assesses the safety implications of nuclear power

ON MARCH 11 2011, a crisis unfolded at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant after a megaquake and tsunami struck Japan. A series of equipment failures and nuclear meltdowns led to the escape of radioactive materials, traces of which continue to be found in the air, soil and water around the disaster zone. As we delve back into the bowels of the reactor a year on, we analyse whether the incident really is just an example of science gone wrong, or a lesson in nuclear safety.

“

Should we be limiting the use and development of nuclear power as an alternative energy source on the grounds of safety?"

Fukushima, like other conventional nuclear power plants, employs nuclear fission to generate heat and electricity.

This involves splitting large, heavy and unstable nuclei of atoms into smaller, lighter ones in a specially designed reactor – a process that releases tremendous amounts of energy. Herein

lies the need for control: the reactors are cooled by circulating water, which absorbs some of the excess energy, and prevents over-heating. During the tsunami, connections to the power grid were broken and coolant systems failed. The government’s desperate attempt at using sea water as a coolant only aggravated matters, and several hydrogen explosions ensued before electrical power and automated cooling was restored.

And here’s the glitch: the heat was only a fraction of the problem. The lethal adversary (or friend turned foe) is the nuclear fuel – the ‘heavy’ elements that decay to produce lighter ones, emitting potent radiation in the process. Even Tokyo, the busy capital 200km away, was not designated safe. Post-disaster, the Tokyo Electric Power Company reported a spike in nuclear radiation that exposed the workforce at the first nuclear reactor to 400millisieverts of radiation per hour – four times the legal limit. Although the reported human death toll on account of exposure to background radiation has been limited to six, it is estimated that thousands of residents in the contaminated area will suffer the consequences of this fallout, in the form of cancer, long-term psychological defects and birth defects which may only become apparent in the next gen-

eration. Not to mention the hundreds of other animal and plant species that may dangerously mutate on account of bio-magnification of these radioactive particles in the ecosystem.

Despite the persistent health threat and the dire socio-economic penalties, the recent re-assessment of the accident to Level 7 on the International Nuclear Event Scale has sparked a great deal of controversy. Only the Chernobyl nuclear disaster that occurred in 1986 in what is now Ukraine has ever achieved such a rating; the reactor at Chernobyl was actually running when the explosion occurred, whereas most of Fukushima’s reactors shut down on sensing the tremor from the earthquake. It has also been argued that Chernobyl’s reactor was more primitive, and used unenriched uranium, a fuel much weaker than its enriched counterpart employed in Fukushima. Consequently, the reactor was designed to accelerate the reaction rather than inhibit it, leaving it much more liable to spin out of control.

So if Fukushima’s reactors did indeed incorporate the latest technological advances, where does that leave us? Should we be limiting the use and development of nuclear power as an alternative energy source on the grounds of safety?

Not necessarily. In fact, assessments

since have shown that we have a lot to learn and improve on in terms of plant location, plant design and backup systems.

“

Thousands of residents in the contaminated area will suffer the effects of the fallout in the form of long-term health problems."

The UN’s International Atomic Energy Agency reports that 88 of the world’s 442 nuclear power plants are, like Fukushima, in seismically active areas. “Nuclear regulatory agencies will want to re-examine the potential for tsunami (and earthquake) risks to nuclear power plants, certainly on the Pacific Rim and possibly in other oceans as well,” says John Stevenson, a member of a technical advisory committee to the IAEA’s International Seismic Safety Centre. Certainly one way of averting nuclear disasters is careful selection of a site with low tectonic activity.

But since such disasters are, for the most part, unpredictable, developing

better systems to deal with them is a more viable solution. For instance, an effective flood-proofing system would have made a remarkable difference at Fukushima; since the diesel generators required to power emergency cooling systems were not in waterproof buildings, disaster was almost inevitable once these were flooded. Compare this to the system in place in the nuclear power plants in Switzerland, which need to be equipped to deal with flash floods from the Alpine rivers. These house their backup cooling systems in waterproof bunkers, and have filtered venting systems which ensure that, should pressure inside the reactor build and cause an escape of gaseous exhaust, the radioactive iodine and caesium are filtered out of the mixture before it is released into the atmosphere.

Similarly, shake-proofing and seismic testing is underway at many plants.

Fortunately, none of the reactors along Japan’s Pacific Coast (including Fukushima) suffered major damage during the 9.0 magnitude earthquake; most of the damage was due to water-logging.

Hopefully, flood and quake- proofing, in addition to backup power sources can help us avert another catastrophe of this scale. Then again, there is only so much one can prepare for.

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Science & Environment 15

Unknown gems of the universe As the Science Festival approaches The Student looks for the hidden wonders our universe has to offer Peculiar Planet: Geometric storms and walnut moons

Some strange sights can be spotted within our solar system- Saturn is well known for being a bit unusual. It is the second biggest and least

dense planet in our solar system, and would even float on water if given the chance. But the second most spectacular sights on Saturn (the first being its famous rings) are its storms- over 10,000 times more power-

ful than ours, which have been of interest to scientists for decades. This

windy planet hosts a hurricane almost 5,000 miles across, which hovers over the south pole stubbornly without shifting, baffling scientists.

Black hole drool or a doughnut ocean?

Picture a doughnut of water 140 trillion times the size of all the world’s seas orbiting a black hole. It’s a lot of

wet. For scope, try comparing a small swimming pool to the Pacific Ocean. How did all this water get there?

Apparently a quasar is to blame. Under normal circumstances a quasar emits huge amounts of energy from a point in space, like a star with more oomph. In this circumstance, there is a quasar emitting huge amounts of

water from a point in space, like a really enthusiastic hose powered by the black hole around it. Upon leaving, the floating ocean is held by the gravity generated by the supermassive black hole (not just a Muse song, a

really dense black hole) surrounding the quasar and forms a loop around it. These have an exceptionally large gravitational pull, sucking in nearby mass. According to Einstein, E=mc², so this mass (m) must become en-

ergy (E) and go somewhere, i.e. out the top and bottom. Makes sense, but for some reason this one is spewing out water. Why is it doing this? As scientists don't have a clue, the story goes thus:

times the diameter of Earth, which is shaped like a hexagon. Why this

gargantuan storm should form such a perfect geometric shape is as yet unknown.

Saturn has over 60 moons, some of which are completely surreal. Ia-

petus, the third largest of these moons, is one of the most bizarre. Half of the surface is icy white, and the other is charcoal black; it has been

called the ‘yin-yang’ moon. Most of the moon is composed of ice, but the ‘dark material’ seems to be a currently unidentified organic com-

pound. To add to its strangeness, Iapetus has a ring of mountain-like formations around its equator. Scientists studying these formations have described the resulting shape of Iapetus as being like a walnut.

And on the eighth day, God created the black hole, And he liked it, so he put a ring on it.

The north pole, however, has a storm almost 15,000 miles across, six

Lindsey Robinson

Stewart MacLean

Geysers of salty ice explode from a frosty moon surface

The eighth of Saturn’s 53 confirmed moons, Enceladus, sparkles as the brightest

object in our solar system with a chilling -201C surface covered in water ice. This one hundred million year old moon is considered young and one of only a few in the solar system that is geologically active; huge geysers shoot water vapour and

tiny grains of ice from its south pole through fissures known as ‘tiger stripes’ on its

surface. The Cassini-Huygens mission captured both images and samples of these plumes and recent analysis has confirmed that close to the moon's surface these

particles have an ocean-like composition. The samples predict the only plausible source for this is a large saltwater body below Enceladus’s icy surface. The salt in

this extraterrestrial subsurface ocean would originate from the moon's rocky interior. When a crack in the surface occurs, the sudden drop in pressure forces water Planet hunters in the US have identified a planet

with enough Earthly features that it may entertain life on its rocky surface. Gliese 581g orbits around the star Gliese 581, a Libra red dwarf star, and its planetary path has been labelled as a ‘habitable

zone’ where liquid water could exist on the surface.

It has enough gravity to hold onto an atmos-

phere, and half the planet is basked in an eternal daylight that stabilises the climate. Although

there isn't any conclusive proof of even microbes,

life is stubborn. Nature inhabits all corners of our planet, from deep sea vents of boiling water to

miles under the Earth’s surface, fighting the odds.

What are the chances that we have the only planet that sustains them? Slim, I reckon. But still, even without discovering martians or gliesians, life

still triumphs as the most unknown wonder of

the universe. The discovery of four new species of

colourful freshwater crab was announced just last week, and we still marvel at curious creatures like the Dumbo octopus (right) and strange behav-

iours like earthquake early warning systems and even flatworm penis fencing!

Nina Seale

Rebecca Jackson

Starry-eyed witch flies through the skies

People have a long history of looking up at the sky

and trying to find familiar patterns in the confusing randomness of space. In some cases, as the Witch Head Nebula attests, this is easier than others. IC all nebulae it is an enormous cloud of spaceborne dust and gas that spreads across a literally astro-

nomical distance. As you can see above, this one

happens to resemble a sinister human face, complete with eerie crooked nose, jutting chin and gaping

mouth. You can even spot a couple of witchy warts.

Nebulae are often made up of the remains cast out

by dying stars, but they also happen to be one of the best types of environments for new stars to form.

IC2118 nestles a number of relatively new stars

within its centre. As a Reflection Nebula, the Witch Head is visible on Earth, across a distance of about

a thousand light years, because it reflects the light of the star Rigel, the brightest star in the constellation Orion . Rigel’s already blue light reflects efficiently

off the dust motes of the nebula, scattering to give it its characteristic blue colour.

Alasdair MacLeod

HOPEFULLY I’LL avoid too many boring springtime cliches, but after a week as sunny as the one we’ve had, I can’t help but get excited about the emergence of life as summer approaches.

Birds. Getting really into birds is a bit of a dangerous area in terms of beards and hats. However, spending a little time thinking about the life of a bird is quite amazing. Between mid March and May, five billion of them migrate north from summer hideouts in Africa.

Though an incomprehensibly large number, it is worth remembering that every one of these journeys represents an individual’s struggle across immense distances and exhausting obstacles, dependent solely on limited fat reserves, navigational skills and stamina.

At the same time, most birds are truly tiny. The swallow, about the size of a sausage roll, flies 12,000 miles between Britain and wintering grounds in Africa’s southern tip every year.

These journeys have been part of the life of many bird species since the last ice age around 20,000 years ago, and are tightly synched to climatic patterns. If, for instance, rain fails in a feeding stopover one year, the results may be grave.

As Spring’s arrival is driven earlier by climate change, migrating birds are increasingly finding themselves arriving at the end of the party with springtime food sources already dwindling. The rapid population decline in many species due to this and a number of other recent environmental changes is a sobering issue.

On a happier note, a yellow haze may be seen over Arthur’s Seat and other surrounding hills. Though perhaps not as pretty as spring’s popular harbingers daffodil and crocus, a closer look at gorse flowers is well worth it for the smell - coconuts! The younger flowers are dazzlingly bright, standing sharply against the green background with almost hallucinatory vibrancy.

This is a result of their colouration in ultraviolet light wavelengths beyond our vision, but attractive to the eye of insect visitors.

Zac Gratin

2118 is a nebula in the constellation Eridanus. Like

PHOTOS: NASA/ REBECCA CHAN

and the flash-frozen salty ice crystals out into space.

Our planet and its doppelganger

A WILD LIFE

With the influx of summer migrants coming in, keep your eyes peeled for birds that may surprise you. You can get excited about birdwatching without ageing forty years and growing a pair of binoculars.

Who knows? You may be surprised.

I spotted a breeding pair of birds of prey engaging in some air acrobatics over Pollock when gazing out at the sun from my room last week. I usually recognise our local birds, so the white mottled bellies of these buzzard-like birds hurt my birdwatching pride.

When I reached for my RSPB Guide to Scottish birds (I'm a shameless birdwatcher) the only two birds that resembled the mysterious raptors were the rough-legged buzzard or the honey buzzard. Both would be rather rare for Midlothian, so look out for any more treasures the summer may bring.

Nina Seale

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OLIVER NINNIS

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Meta-hypocritical?

OLIVER NINNIS

Thomas Hasler takes a look at contemporary issues in games journalism

THE LASER UNPRINTER? IMAGINE NEVER having to buy another sheet of paper. Imagine junk mail and old letters being painlessly wiped clean and instantly ready to be put to new use. That’s exactly what a team of researchers at the University of Cambridge are promising with their innovative laser unprinter.

Today, even with recycling being vigorously promoted, vast amounts of paper ends up rotting in landfills or even being incinerated in industrial furnaces. At best, it is collected, bundled and shipped across the world to facilities where it is sorted, pulped, cleaned and reformed into new paper. Cheaper and less wasteful than felling new trees to fabricate brand new paper, certainly, but hardly the ideal solution. The laser unprinter, if it proves viable, would help eliminate the costliest and messiest part of recycling paper.

Your everyday laser printer works by bombarding a plastic drum with a laser, changing its polarity and attracting toner. This toner is then melted and fused with paper by a pair of heated rollers. The unprinter is also based around a laser, but that’s where the similarities end. The unprinter works by focussing carefully applied bursts of green laser light on an already printed page. This type of laser vaporises ink, but passes harmlessly through paper. With the ink removed from the page, it is ready to be reused.

The benefits of this technique are not limited to cutting down C02 emissions or budgets either. Pulping paper requires vast amounts of clean water, and results in equally vast amounts of dirty water. In a world where fresh drinking water is becoming an increasingly precious resource, in which it is harder to dispose of dirty water ethically, it would be invaluable to be able to avoid the water issue entirely.

Of course, as with a lot of innovations, this technology isn’t quite ready for public consumption yet.

The high-powered laser arrays and delicate scanners needed for the process aren’t really affordable or compact enough to be used in consumer electronics yet. Still, after enough miniaturisation, this technology could easily find a home, either in large scale industrial recycling facilities, or even in small businesses or actual homes. After all, it’s not so long ago that a computer could take up an entire warehouse.

Alasdair MacLeod

OBSIDIAN, THE developer behind Knights of The Old Republic II and Fallout: New Vegas, recently laid off 30 employees due to financial strain.

According to the developer, the cuts may not have been necessary if they had gotten a score of 85 on metacritic, which they missed by a single point.

On one hand, it makes sense that a publisher would try to incentivise developers to produce good products for consumers, but considering that New Vegas produced over £300 million in revenue, one could hardly claim that to be a commercial failure on Obsidian’s part. It also seems to be a rather harsh and specific target.

This ‘incentive’ has arguably harmed Obsidian’s ability to produce high quality games in future.

The pursuit of ludicrously high scores is the result of the ever capricious and inflated scoring system that game reviewers seem to have adopted.

Mediocre games receive inexplicably high scores, and as a result consumers are jaded by scores in the 70s and low 80s because they’ve played arguably bad games with such scores. In recent years there has been a backlash to this kind of behaviour. When Dragon Age II came out last year, its metacritic score was 81, with respected publications giving the game mixed reviews.

PC Gamer even gave the game a 94 - the same score it awarded Half Life 2. The game was, in the eyes of many consumers, poor to say the least.

Many metacritic users gave extremely negative reviews in protest.

It seems that these reviews are a result of games journalists getting too close with developers and publishers.

DRAGON RAGE: The critical acclaim Dragon Age II received was controversial.

On one hand, this relationship gives websites like IGN and gamespot a revenue stream, as publishers use advertisements on the site for marketing. This also gives them access to games as they are being developed.

Unfortunately, it also means that when a game is released, the commercial pressure from publishers and developers often leads to reviewers brushing over serious issues and delivering a biased opinion of the game’s merits.

It seems crazy, almost paradoxical, that there is so much commercial pressure on a game to get a good score when the scoring systems are so unreliable and arbitrary in the first place.

It may seem easy to dismiss these issues as a temporary growing pain of a young medium, but game journalism has been around for decades and this issue has only become controversial in recent years, perhaps due to an increased dependence on ad revenue.

Hopefully, now that journalists know

their credibility is at stake, we will see more rounded and thoughtful reviews in the future.

In short, journalists need to draw a line in the sand and make sure they are putting out reviews that readers can trust. Publishers need to stop using metacritic as a metric of success.

If they do, maybe you’ll see more reviews that are controversial for the right reasons, and maybe we’ll start seeing opinions in games journalism again.

(Disc)raceful DLC Alasdair MacLeod isn't thrilled at being nickle-and-dimed by big publishers

CAPCOM, OFTEN criticised for secreting Day 1 DLC (DownLoadable Content) on their discs, were up to their old tricks with the recent release of Street Fighter x Tekken, in which alternate costumes and even entire characters on the disc were locked behind a faux DLC paywall. After paying for the game, fans (or customers, as Capcom must surely see them) were faced with almost £20 worth of unlockables to gain access to everything on the disc.

To many, even this is less underhanded than 2009’s Resident Evil 5. Many were surprised to find that Mercenaries, a significant piece of DLC released months after Resident Evil 5 went on sale, was in fact only kilobytes in size. In reality, this DLC was nothing more than a patch that unlocked content that had been quietly hiding on the disc since release.

Content that had originally been planned to be part of the main game... until Capcom realised they had failed to budget for additional DLC down the line.

Many other publishers are adopting increasingly aggressive DLC plans.

This isn’t always an issue as long as the content isn’t an integral part of the game, but publishers, in the interest of extracting more cash from consumers' wallets, are constantly challenging the definition of what is essential content and what isn’t. Last year’s Batman: Arkham City cut out certain segments of the game’s main story, where you take on the role of Catwoman, and repackaged it as DLC. Anyone who didn’t own the DLC, which in fairness comes free with new copies of the game, is given constant reminders that an essential part of the game is missing. This is where DLC stops being fun, additional content that die hard fans can invest in, and simply becomes a cruel exercise of punishing consumers when they don’t comply with developers' demands.

This seems to be part of a bigger trend, and an awkward question for long-time fans. To what extent are we being sold a game, and to what extent

are we being sold a disc? By buying a disc, are we buying access to the data within, or just as much as the developers are willing to let us access, subject to additional spending? Well, as long

as they don't break up the flow...

Valve’s Steam service has become almost synonymous in recent years with the concept of “hats”, cosmetic upgrades that can be applied to characters, originally in its popular shooter Team Fortress 2, but now also in Portal 2 and some other third-party games. Originally, these hats could be found at random by playing the game, but this has expanded beyond TF2 with Valves and third-party publishers offering their own hats and accessories to consumers willing to commit to pre-purchasing upcoming games on Valve’s platform. While some sticklers insist silly hats can get in the way of their enjoyment, most see this as bonus content ‘done right’.

Hats don’t have any noticeable effects on gameplay, beyond eliciting the occasional chuckle.

Who knows? Maybe this will catch on with other publishers? Whât côuldn’t bê madê better wîth the âddition ôf a côuple of hâts?

Send us your stories on fashion, beauty and health lifestyle.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 17 Club Reviews

JOANNA LISIOVEC

Edinburgh Stripped

In the face of diversity

Marissa Trew interviews Carlota Dochao-Naveira about exploring artistic diversity online In an interview with DochaoNaveira about her reasons for creating the page, she simply said, “After ending a frantic exam period and looking on Facebook for some good music, which proved to be pointless, I thought, what if there was one place where everyone could share what they enjoyed?” Thus the artistic forum was born. When asked what she ultimately aimed to achieve, Dochao-Naveira said, “Hav[ing] always lived in an international environment…there is so much potential to learn from all cultures if we give everyone the chance to share what they know." She believes that Edinburgh University students are a perfect example because they are “educated

OPEN YOUR MIND: Undressing the hype of mainstream media

DIVERSITYUNPLUGGED

AS THE media dominates every aspect of our lives, we are bombarded with endless supplies of the bland, generic art forms that invade the music charts and cinema. Yet, within the recesses of our digital world, lies a community of individuals tightly holding on to their more unique preferences, eager to discuss their tastes with rare, like-minded others.

DiversityUnplugged,other wise simply known as Unplugged, is an online Facebook community, created in December 2011 by Carlota DochaoNaveira. It aims to unite individuals through the common aim of sharing all online discoveries, “to let everyone know what’s out there”.

people from all corners of the world”.

The page aims to portray the variety of tastes that have developed from such different backgrounds; the idea is that people will post things relevant to their individual cultures, “like a completely unknown Syrian film, or a Vietnamese traditional poem”.

These ambitions are not far-fetched considering the globalised world we live in. It provides the opportunity to connect with others over topics not normally discussed on a daily basis. I have personally posted items on the page and while initially nervous about how others would judge my tastes, I always found at least one other who appreciated something similar. DiversityUnplugged is the perfect medium to highlight how artistic appetites have both diverged and converged over time. While there are “differences in styles, most of the posts are of the same quality.”

By browsing through the page, you are challenged to recognise most of the artists posted by group members. Currently, electronic music has dominated the page, pockmarked by various hiphop artists and a stream of other genres by quality musicians, unrecognised by the top music charts. Once you begin exploring the various links and photos, you begin to realise how limited your tastes and interests have been.

DiversityUnplugged also offers everything from movie suggestions, reviews on literature and art pieces to discussion groups on controversial top-

ics. The site is constantly evolving but Dochao-Naveira hopes to encourage people to not only post new content, but to illustrate their personal opinions.

While this isn’t quite so common yet because some members are evidently quite shy about openly expressing themselves online, Dochao-Naveira still has hope. Yet, as the group grows and the diversity of posts increases, people will inevitably find their niche within the community.

While DiversityUnplugged is adamant about encouraging the expression of personal tastes, certain things are to be avoided. “As pretentious as this sounds, the ‘mainstream’ is something I wish to avoid…the idea is to provide people with posts that are interesting and underrated,” Dachao-Naveira said.

But this applies mostly to music, with regards to articles, poems and the less dominant art forms, “anything is welcome”.

DiversityUnplugged remains relatively small, with 194 members. Yet this is not to be underestimated considering the amount of content generated within months of the site’s creation.

With future desires to “branch out by subject” through an interactive website, Dochao-Naveira believes “Facebook is too limited”. Nevertheless, it has successfully encouraged people to share their views and to meet new people. https://www.facebook.com/diversityunplugged

It's all about the Tang

JAPANESE FOOD holds a reputation for being nutritious, quick and colourful. While not blatantly obvious, East Asian cuisine is beginning to thrive in Edinburgh with small restaurants serving beautifully hand-crafted dishes. You just have to know where to look.

Tang’s sits quietly and unassumingly on the slope leading down to Grassmarket. The kitschy bambooprint wallpaper, together with what looks like giant chopsticks splattered precariously on the ceiling shows the restaurant’s attempt at Feng Shui. It has a fresh and modern decor with a Japanese twist, fulfilling its promise of “authentic and modern Japanese dining”. The glass street-side entrance lightens the room and acts as an ideal people watching spot for those times when conversations dry up.

Our waitress was the very personification of the room, demonstrating good, attentive service without being too ‘in your face’. Food came in good time and forks and spoons were at the ready for those less apt with chopsticks. The menu is perhaps too extensive, as one struggles to decipher the difference between the

EAST MEETS WEST: Thinking outside the bento box Chicken Katsu and the Katsu curry or a yakinomo and nimono.

The rice was superb, very sticky, clearly cooked by someone with an experienced hand, which is unsurprising considering it was once the national currency. However, there is only so much white rice can offer and when served plain with only soy sauce for company, it leaves your palette a little unsatisfied. The main, Yakiniku (Scottish sirloin beef sitting on a bed of fried onions) was a tan colour, with no sign of any veg other than a token teaspoon scoop of finely cut lettuce.

When you’re paying just short of a tenner for a main, this is a distressing sight, but what they did do, they did well. The meat was tender and was complimented well by the onion sauce underneath it. The chicken katsu consisted of very well cooked tender chicken, coated in breadcrumbs and lightly drizzled with katsu sauce. It accomplished what Japanese cuisine is notorious for- good quality, well presented ingredients with the meat and soy sauce to add some excitement and contrast to the staple, sticky rice.

Tang’s knows how to pull in the

TANGSGOHAN

Foodbloggers of The Students' Edinburgh travel Eastward for Edinburgh's oriental offerings

weekday lunch-goers with some appetising deals. Their insane two-forone main course deal meant we ended up spending around £7 each in total, which is really incredibly reasonable and fantastic value. However, we did decide to share four mains between three of us and glad we did as the serving sizes did not satiate the Western appetite.

There was the good, the bad and the 'a bit too dry here, but lovely and sticky there'. We all felt fundamentally positive about our trip chez Chef Tang. It had all the right ingredients and broadened our dining horizons eastwards.

Good for: Seductive and minimalistic decor. Monday to Thursday lunch time deals.

Bad for: The five-a-day scheme.

Best for: Keeping it simple.

Tang's, 44 Candlemaker Row Edinburgh EH1 2QE Check out more Edinburgh restaurant reviews at http://studentedinburgh. wordpress.com/

THERE IS a rite of passage in every man’s life that must be undertaken. It involves meticulous planning, the accumulation of scarce resources and suave execution. It is tried by many and failed by few. There are many places to attempt this endeavour, but not all of them are pretty. Collectively they have many crass and vulgar names, but in the spirit of class we shall refer to them as ‘fine dancing establishments’. They are frequented

by Edinburgh’s upper echelons and staffed by the epitomes of virtue.

Within these hallowed caverns lies a bounty of earthly pleasures, easily accessible to the common man in exchange for only a fraction of his weekly wage. To complete the aforementioned passage, one must not only enter these shrines of decadence, built to venerate ancient power ballads, but also engage in the services of the saintly clergy who are employed there.

There are many ways to execute this herculean task. One can enter ‘the swarm’ of men, wearing the uniform of weariness (trackies, denim jackets, toupees) awaiting service by the scantily-clad goddesses of the temple. This involves patiently negotiated prices with their chosen mate, all the while watching as your predecessors emerge with victorious smiles and awkward gait.

Alternatively, one can attempt to accumulate prestige by waiting on the side-lines, to be noticed by the vulturous ravens that have spotted a profitable venture. This is best followed by treating them coldly during the entertainment, with a look of Bond-like neutrality and no acknowledgement of the deed done. At all times, it must be remembered that this is a business transaction.

The deed itself is an exhibition of the depths of depravity one can succumb to in pursuit of material gain and paternal retribution. One can either sit back passively and accept what is given or assert one's fantasies and take control. Regardless, it is impossible to forget what has been witnessed.

The legacy of this adventure will dominate and warp the psyche of the conquistador.

Having seen first-hand what is hidden beneath the veneer of decency, the conquistador cannot shake the lens that colours normal human interaction.

Instead, he is consumed by the knowledge that no one can escape the fate he has borne witness to, that ultimately all beings will end serving in the same virile manner. Further, he will be forever haunted by the anonymity of the service provider, wondering whether she will once again enter his life; as a doctor, librarian, tutor or greengrocer. However, he will emerge with a deeper appreciation of what was non-existent in the venue that he delved into the night before.

Trent Justice

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Contact: editors.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

18 Crossword & Horoscopes Dual Crossword No. 12 BY PICUS Oliver ninnis

CRYPTIC CLUES

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Across

1 Farmhand managed church, causing obstruction (9) 6 An inarticulate murmur, expressing uncertainty ? (3) 8 Separately visible, together we provide understanding and awareness (2, 5) 9 Sculptor’s take on Norse god (5) 10 Isle found in strait I re-entered (5) 12 A drink with eggs, and at least two others, in wooden beakers (7) 13 Bell-ringer : a crazy loon midway between theatricality and sense (13) 15 Retrial ordered for laggard (7) 17 The seventh deadly sin.

At first Silvio’s reluctant (5) 19 Vegetable factory (5) 20 One with no faith in Mr Castro (7) 22 Allow Oedipus to show sorrow (3) 23 She should carry out your will by the river, cue tricks as they say (9)

Zen Pebble of Zoogaaboogaa-a-a is a regular on intergalactic team building days.

Its hard crust hides a creamy fortune-telling nougat belly, which is a necessity for any self-respecting igneous rock and also provides a useful metaphor for tough leaders with a friendly side/love of nougat.

Aries

McFuzzlewit is the intergalactic name of someone important to you. This week, when you are with a group of friends, whisper, “McFuzzlewit, McFuzzlewit, Where art thou McFuzzlewit?” and wait. One of the party will give you a signal to let you know that they are McFuzzlewit. It will probably be a slow full 360 degree turn of their head - a sign so subtle that the untrained eye could miss it. On recognition of the sign, you must immediately urinate on McFuzzlewit and demand to eat at the Court of Elysium. Don’t be cynical about this horoscope: McFuzzlewit waits.

Taurus

You are devastated by news that the 50p tax rate will be cut this week.

Inevitably, this will mean more cocaine for city bankers and proportionally less cocaine for pensioners.

Libra

This week, Venus and Jupiter pass in close transition, with far reaching implications for the EUSA presidential elections. Chinos and a groovy new emo-punk haircut are your only hope of victory.

Scorpio

Orion tells your missus that you and him had a cheeky one night fling. Enraged, you try to kick the shit out of him, only to realise there are two main problems inherent in this objective.

Namely, that he is less of a tangible, kickable entity and more of an absolutely massive network of nebulae spread over billions of light years.

Secondly, by extension, he has no alimentary canal and, consequently, no shit.

Sagittarius

Inspired by Jane McEvoy from The Apprentice, this week you try to “literally” beat yourself up. You head down to the library to find some chunky literary classics. War and Peace is hardbound, so will be good for beating your face. The tough names will also offer a bit of a 'literal' intellectual thump.

A solar flare hurtles towards the Earth this week, mildly deranging your satnav so that you end up driving to Newington instead of New Town. Your iPhone is also badly afflicted by the adverse celestial weather conditions and fails to update to British Summer Time automatically. You lose all hope and break into a cheeky grimace. Don’t worry, it could be worse: you could be John Carter (on Mars).

Cancer

Capricorn

Gemini

The rainy season has come and gone like a migrating swallow, but your farmland remains arid, your harvest poor. Don’t even think of battering that haddock.

Leo

Mars twists Aquarius’s fancy in your eros zone this week. You suddenly find that you suit beige. Yes!

Virgo

The fog (of your despair) has lifted and things are hotting up this week.

Reaching highs of 15C and 5F, it’s like the bloody Sun out there. You may want to frolic on the Meadows or father some lambs. Desist: it’s toasty warm and you will break out in a slight sweaty sweat.

The capricious unicorn of flimsy, irritating whim has been unleashed upon you by the stable master of Saturn's rings. “Oh, how about we go to Deep Sea World on skateboards?” SHUT UP capricorn, that's so bloody silly!

Aquarius

Barry makes an unexpected return into your life; barging through into your personal space with thoughtprovoking semi-colons. His Camera Obscura is anything but, in fact it’s blatantly obvious, the cheeky peeping Tom.

Pisces

Suckle (gently) on the bamboo of your flatmate's teat. That'll teach him to eat your Wendsleydale.

Down

1 Armed robbery with high explosive is the latest of eight (5) 2 Home remedy makes most run amok (7) 3 Shred disreputable publication (3) 4 Makeshift Yule on tin roof?

No way José (3, 2, 4, 4) 5 Mad eggers seize promissory note.

It’s outrageous (9) 6 One back from Mecca abandoned jihad(5) 7 Remember Scottish group’s predetermined view of things (7) 11 Earl sat on Miss Goddard’s shoulder-pad (9) 13 Puppet needs a breath of air (4-3) 14 Fashionable religious group, quite proper and well-organised (2, 5) 16 Get old before our time ? No - after it, as the saying is (5) 18 Irish elixir has its own corkscrew (5) 21 Jock’s drunk, in endless breach of the rules (3)

8

9

10

11

13

15

14

16

17

19

22

20

18

21

23

CONCISE CLUES (same answers)

Across Down 1 Obstruction, interference (9) 1 Armed robbery, highjacking (5) 6 Low noise, or smell (3)

2 Home remedy (7) 8 Visible (2, 5) 3 Red-top paper (3) 9 French sculptor (5) 4 No way, man (3, 2, 4, 4) 10 Island weather station (5)

5 Exceptionally unpleasant (9) 12 Heads : drinks (7) 6 Pilgrim back from Mecca (5) 13 Bell-ringer (13) 7 Preconceived ideas (7) 15 One film promoting another (7) 11 Shoulder board (9) 17 Laziness (5) 13 A light breeze (4-3) 19 Factory (5) 14 Correct, tidy (2, 5) 20 Non-muslim (7) 16 Saying, proverb (5) 22 Sorrow (3) 18 Spiral (5) 23 Lady who implements a will (9) 21 Drunk (in Scotland) (3)

The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is recommended

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 11 Across 5 BUTTERFINGERS bingers round utter f (ool) 8 COLON 2 definitions (Cristobal Colon = C. Columbus) 9 REELING gin* after reel 10 TICKED OFF Tick Ed off 12 NUT 2 definitions 13 FIT 3 (or 4) definitions (cf fit3) 15 CALEDONIA CIA round (ale + don) 18 ORBITER (orbit, R) round e (earth)

12

19 TUTTI tut + (t, I) initials 20 TYRANNOSAURUS (Rosy, Ann)* in Taurus

Down 1 ITALIC it + Alic(e) Alice (Liddell) in Wonderland 2 GEAN (or) ange* 3 UNDERFED Fred* after nude* 4 LEGION (Leo round GI) + n 5 BACK TO FRONT back ‘ to’ front (pretence)

Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors 6 FARGO far + go (ref the Coen film) 7 SAGITTARIUS

(a git + T) in Russia* 11 EXCITING ex + citing 14 TABARD tab (bill) + ard (ent)

16 LARGO Lar + go (Lares et Penates) 17 NATURE near* round TU 19 TEAL late* * = anagram of the preceding material

A bit about cryptic clues LAST WEEK, we touched on the use of indicators in Kebab clues and on anagrams.

A further clue type is the “Synonym” or “Double definition” (perhaps the earliest sort of Cryptic clue), where we’re given one definition of the answer and then another.

Killed a lot in America (4) SLEW

Dapper toady (4) TRIM (adj, verb)

More than two definitions may be given.

Ride for fun getting horse to kick journalist Which has four definitions of HACK.

Next is the “Contained” or “Hidden” clue. Here the answer word is actually concealed in the non-definition part of the clue.

Over the top, in the Mogul tradition

Type of bread discovered in Indiana nunnery

Extras provided by chubby escort

The indicators are shown in italics.

Other possible indicators - some, shows, from, etc.

The last type of clue for today is the “Cryptic definition”.

These clues often lack the usual Definition / Extra material format and solving them depends on realising that one of the words has an unexpected meaning. When the penny drops there is little doubt about the answer.

Cause of world revolution (4) (LOVE) ‘revolution’ here means rotation not rebellion, One who runs, out of habit?

(STREAKER) ‘habit’ means clothing not custom.

These clues (like riddles) need a bit of lateral thinking. The compiler often adds a question mark, to show the clue is unusual.

rEVIEW rEVIEW

COMMISSION #23: ciara mcdermott

Ciara McDermott is a 4th year BA Drawing and Painting student. She hopes to create a conversation between her work and the viewer and also between the works themselves. Recently, McDermott’s research includes notes of what she ‘could’ make, dissecting the relationships between possibilities and reality. This has made questions of display and documentation key to her studio practice.

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

HOLLY JAMESON

20Culture 1

Unbridled joy

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto is bombarded with business humour, inuendo and mistaken identity at The Marriage of Figaro

slapstick. Jokes constantly refer to the world of business, with lines such as “I wouldn’t even let her file my spam”, to Scottish politics and sexual euphemisms are rampant.

Lyceum Theatre 'til 14 April

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his adaptation of the classical French comedy The Marriage of Figaro by Pierre Beaumarchais, transplants the play into the world of corporate Edinburgh, where the words of money and love are interchangeable and you are only as good as your next pay cheque.

While the play is funny, the actors fantastic,the characters relatable, it is far from intelligent humour."

“

The play revolves around the young Figaro and his wife Susan, who are keen on a new merger that would make their company one of the largest in Edinburgh. However, not everyone is happy about their impending success and will use anything from sex to blackmail to get their way. Of course, sex is one of the recurring themes in the play, demonstrated in every scene. It even makes it into scene changes, as the audience

BOARD ROOM ANTICS: The cast of The Marriage of Figaro get a little too familar with Apple

ALAN MCCREDIE

Of course, one of the recurring themes in the play is sex, as we are shown in every scene."

I say this also as a possible warning. While the play is funny, the acting fantastic and the characters relatable, it is far from intelligent humour. One has to keep a constant ear out for references to Edinburgh, the Scottish government and the business world. If you have no idea about any of the listed subjects then you are likely to get lost in the humour. However, the play certainly keeps you awake with its scene changes marked by Italian opera and its constant drama involving confusedidentity, drag and even a penguin costume. The Marriage of Figaro is a play designed for those who enjoy camp humour and want to take a trip back to the days of British comedies such as Carry on and Allo Allo.

is distracted from the movement of the set by a couple engaging in an intimate

moment. The Marriage of Figaro is, however, anything but explicit. Its

humour is very much akin to the British traditions of farce, innuendo and

DESIGN AND DEMOCRACY

he performance area for Dracula immediately invites the audience to partake in the dynamic world of a quaint Transylvanian village - whose members take turns becoming the characters of a chilling vampire tale recounted by the mother (Sarah McGuinness). The direct interaction of actors with spectators, as well as the extreme proximity to the action, creates an engaging experience.

However, this ultimately proved to be too close for comfort. Several audience members had ‘blood’ splash over them and their belongings. Also, during the final, high-energy battle scene, those who were seated closest were too anxious about a performer stumbling onto them to be able to concentrate on the action.

An additional drawback of the seating arrangement was that at certain, oftencrucial moments, actors would end up with their backs to audience members.

There were two extremes in this production’s engagement with the audience. The opening scenes were gripping; particularly impressive were the highly seductive though wickedly malicious

brides of Dracula (Abby Jackson, Molly Shevlin and Llinos Henry) and their first chilling encounter with naïve Jonathan Harker ( Joe McArdle) in Dracula’s castle. It was the more mystical scenes, enhanced by dimmed lighting and phenomenal musical accompaniment with its eery, prominent violins, that really entranced the audience.

In contrast, the mid-action, such as the plotting of Dracula's capture, seemed much more mundane and didn’t succeed in sustaining the audience’s attention.

Count Dracula himself (David Johnstone) was at first convincing as the ancient vampire masked under aristocratic charm - especially during his initial, tension-ridden encounters with Harker.

However, Dracula did not sustain the brooding, dominant presence necessary for such a powerful character as the play progressed.

To alternate between the disparate settings of an ancient Transylvanian castle and the bustle of modern England on one stage is not a simple task. Overall, this production delivered a mostly convincing and certainly atmospheric Gothic experience, with a sufficient touch upon the anxieties of sex, religion, and inexorable evil so prominent in the nineteenth century.

Maria Kheyfets

mond Loewy, an industrial designer of the 20th century, design has now taken on a much wider significance.

Design now serves an important cause with a global goal.

This is what Design and democracy is about. Located in the very modern parliament building, itself a symbol of renewal and political authority, it stems from a collaboration between the parliament and postgraduate students from the most important Scottish art colleges: Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art and Design, Edinburgh College of Art, Gray’s School of Art and Glasgow School of Art. Each of these designers has developed a project whose themes vary from environmental concern to personal stories, such as 'The Recovery Toolkit', a nicely crafted box full of different tools for people suffering from depression - in other words a self-help box.

One piece consisted of a cork that had an image of a car on it. Once the cork is removed from the bottle the car appears smashed. This attempts to replace regular, ineffective campaigns with a memorable response.

I was particularly impressed by the 'Eat’n’ Gone' product, which is noth-

ing less than edible packaging. This idea, which has been developed by Natalia Lozano from Gray’s School of Art, aims to reduce waste produced by regular food packaging. At a time when many countries are concerned with protecting the environment, this could provide another step toward a more green-conscious world.

MINTO FRESH

with some of art’s most respected names and traditions.

of well-known sculptures, but not to laugh too much whilst doing so.

Other delights included a Jeff Koon piñata filled with sweets and art themed quotations and a Mark Rothko colouring contest. The highlight of the night though, was when everyone sat crosslegged on the floor to hear some live art history songs performed by Harriet Braine. “Bauhaus” sung in a pseudoGerman accent to the tune of “Love Cats” was particularly informative.

Tuesday and Wednesday were a little more serious, involving the collaboration of artists and visitors in the crea-

tion of a large diptych collage with materials recycled from the Minto House library. The aim was again to subvert the traditional understanding of what an exhibition space is ‘for’, by using it to expose the behind-the-scenes aspect of artistic production.

The event worked well. The activities tempted visitors to join in, while keeping in touch with the subject matter.

Fun was had by all, which, in the face of the great canon of serious art which the project was based on, was quite an achievement.

Melissa Geere

DRACULA Bedlam Theatre Run Ended

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Minto House Run Ended

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ast week, the University’s third year Fine Art students decided to use their allotted exhibition space at Minto House to stage an elaborate piece of interactive performance art.

Eschewing the traditional static display, the exhibition took an innovative and irreverent approach to engaging

“

Perhaps the most challenging game was classical musical statues."

The opening night theme was children’s party games interspersed with free beer. The Damien Hirst Dot Painting Twister, with calls of “Left hand Polar Flame! Right foot Moorland Magic!”, had participants frantically

Scottish Parliament Run Ended

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ur design shapes our democracy and reciprocally, our democracy shapes our design. In fact, democracy shaping design is far more accurate, as every century and every regime, be they democratic or not, has their own aesthetic and codes of fashion.

“

Our design shapes our democracy and reciprocally, our democracy shapes our design. In fact, democracy shaping design is far more accurate."

However, when one hears the word design one may easily picture some frivolous notion that does not relate to politics. Thanks to Rayevaluating their inner associations for the closest match among the hundred coloured dots. Across the room, other visitors were blindfolded, handed a small, grey knitted triangle and encouraged to ‘pin the pubes on the nudes’.

You haven’t truly considered Titian’s “Venus Emerging from the Sea” from every angle until you have considered what she would look like with pubic hair sprouting from her knee. Perhaps the most challenging game was Classical Musical Statues, with participants unreasonably expected not only to instantly and accurately adopt the poses

“

Regardless, the exhibition shows people who are indeed using their talent in design to shape a more democratic society."

To go on would give away too much of the exhibition, which is, I regret, too small and brief. The curation did not take advantage of the space the Parliament offered.

Regardless, the exhibition shows people who are indeed using their talent in design to shape a more democratic society.

Paul Rousselet

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Culture 21

STAR RATING Mad Vlad's glad Let the right one win Try-light Nosfera-two Sucking the life out you

Talent worth pursuing

ROYGBIV This week's cultural spectrum

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Lene Korseberg considers the offerings at Inaugural Pursuit the start of something special

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naugural Pursuit is an exhibition consisting of 26 pieces, comprising work from a number of different disciplines including painting, sculpture, photography, video and performance.

Run by students from Edinburgh College of Art and set in the fantastically cool Old Ambulance Depot, the exhibition aims to present “a vigorous, agile and thorough investigation of each artist’s chosen subject.”

As the title suggests, Inaugural Pursuit supposedly represents something of a first and indeed, for many of the artists contributing, this will be their first public exhibition. It is therefore pleasing to see that many of them cross that threshold in such an impressive manner.

“

'6mm' by Luisa Risch deserves praise for the way it plays with the balance between light and image."

However, a few deserve some extra focus. First of all, a note should be made about “Your Children Won’t Save You” by Dennis J. Reinmüller. Living up to its title, the sculpture portrays a disturbing child-sized figure in a Spi-

EDINBURGH 10 MINUTERS The Counting House Run Ended

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wonderful collaboration between youth theatre groups across Edinburgh, Edinburgh 10 Minuters is a seamless patchwork of eight short plays, ranging from the heartbreaking to the downright absurd. Piecing together eight plays is no mean feat and one really has to applaud producer Alex Clark for pulling it off without a hitch. The transition between each play was smooth and quick and never once punctured the relaxed atmosphere that enveloped the

derman outfit, de-masked and fallen.

Further, the x-ray inspired “6mm” by Luisa Risch deserves praise for the way it plays with the balance between light and image. Lastly, I would like to mention “The Last of my Seed” by Sam Phillips. The sculpture resembles a large seed growing high up into the ceiling, leaving the viewer with a feeling of being just as small and insignificant as the seed itself.

“

This creates a sense of stability in an otherwise unfocused landscape."

The exhibition also includes a number of videos and again some of the pieces stood out more than others.

In particular, “Circle” by Emily Rimmer (video) and Dylan Martin Ross (sound) caught my attention. The video takes place on a moving train and the passing scenery is shown through a permanent circle in the middle of the image. This creates a sense of stability in an otherwise unfocused landscape.

In terms of being an exhibition aimed to show off new talents, overall the show did not disappoint. Despite that some of the pieces did not succeed in moving the viewer as much as they might have intended to, the work that did managed to leave us deeply impressed. It will be very interesting to see what these young artists might come up with in the future. cosy Counting House. The no-frills set helped matters. Pared down to the bare essentials for each play, the minimalist set made the transitions simple whilst giving the evening a wonderfully downto-earth feel.

The range of plays was delightfully eclectic. From the absolutely absurd The Barbeque by Andrew Wiles, reminiscent of Samuel Beckett’s plays, to The Third Person, a hilarious tale of a stolen ewe presented with all the suspense of a murder scene, there was never a dull moment. Given that each play was only ten minutes long, the plays were wonderfully bite-sized without losing any character or emotion. Although some plays completely lost their audience, to the point where audience members did not know

GROWING PAINS : A giant seed represents the future of art when to applaud, the evening more than made up for it with its other witty plays. Rhiannon Grist’s Oh My God was a hilarious retelling of the resurrection of Christ.

“

Edinburgh 10 Minuters takes its audience on an emotional rollercoaster."

From Tom Chick’s tender portrayal of a man who desires to be a woman in Rory Kelly’s moving play Occupied, to Rik Hart’s hilarious presentation of de-

IAN JACKSON

The Old Ambulance Depot Run Ended

ranged characters obsessed with beards, the cast was nothing short of spectacular. Marli Siu’s performance in James Beagon’s heartbreaking play Standard Class was outstanding. Her presentation of a young mother, haunted by the choice she had to make for herself and her child, was absolutely heart-wrenching, leaving the audience surreptitiously wiping away tears.

Brilliantly put together, the collaboration takes its audience on an emotional rollercoaster. With its ‘what on earth just happened?’ moments to making its audience roar with laughter, Edinburgh 10 Minuters is an exhilarating ride.

Andrea Yew

THE POETRY DOCTOR with Isabella Flanders

This week: Feeling meh? The Modernists have a few things to teach you

Flatness is not a concept commonly associated with poetry. Most of the time, poets seem to be ricocheting between the extremes of emotion. It might not always be positive, but at least they are living full lives. It’s not until fairly recently that the theme of ‘feeling a bit meh’ became poetically mainstream. The Modernists are the go-to-guys (and girls) for poems

about disaffection and alienation. If you go and read “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”, you will see how T.S. Eliot encapsulates your problem most eloquently.

But it’s really long, and by the end you’ll just feel thoroughly depressed, so don’t bother.

Let’s look instead to Samuel Taylor Coleridge for a clue as to the crux of your problem. In “Work Without Hope”, he is left feeling flat in spite of the lively spring activities going on around him. External factors can’t always relieve ennui; it’s good that you have been trying, but don’t feel too let down if your efforts don’t result in the new lease on life you had envisaged.

Sometimes existential blues just have to take their course.

I know it must be hard to hear that your problem has no easy cure. But sometimes reading words written by another that

Troy Holmes

perfectly express your own state of being, can be comfort enough. When Matthew Arnold stood looking out at the dark ocean and composed “Dover Beach”, he felt the same “eternal note of sadness” that you seem to be experiencing. He compared human lives, with all their crashing mundanity, to the pebbles on a beach; each one is as anonymous, hopeless and purposeless as the next. But as long as we are all similarly stranded, we are not cut off from the human experience. And like the “ebb and flow” of the tide, one day soon you will probably find those feelings of emptiness receding.

Got a problem? We can cure you! All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at artdoctor.thestudent@gmail.com.

Look oot for...

Adaptation, a multi-practise collaborative exhbition opening at the Collective this week 'til 27 May. The Oedipus Cycle is on in Teviot until tomorrow. Consisting of three Greek tragedies filled with death, incest and suicide, it promises to be a cheery night.

CARA HOLSGROVE

Dear Poetry Doctor, At the moment, my life seems a bit flat. It doesn’t matter what I do, nothing is ever as exciting as I think it will be. I haven’t been sitting around moping – I’ve tried creating wittily entitled Facebook events, getting outrageously drunk and even going for a walk in the Meadows to look at the flowers– but somehow all I feel is numb. Is there some poetry that could make me feel alive again?

Futurephile his week, art critic Jonathan Jones asked us to “get up and demand better British art.” He asserts that we no longer request thoughtful art and that we accept mass hit shows that draw in the crowds that don’t hold a candle to the masterpieces of the Renaissance. In one sense, I agree with him. Massive hit shows offer a very small slice of what art today really means, but wouldn’t he include the recent Leonardo exhibition in this list of repetitive, overly popular shows?

Jones projects his own sentimentality upon Renaissance painting whilst ignoring the wealth of brilliant art that is being made by contemporary artists all over the country. He looks back with rose-coloured spectacles at a time when he believes art, and by art he always means painting, captured love, compassion and insight, while criticising the state of art today. It could be argued that the masterpieces of the past had a much narrower view of the world than artists do today. Pleasing patrons and the church was their number one concern, whereas today, artists have free reign to make any work in any medium. In a secular society, artists have moved away from such narrow-themed religious art, but this doesn’t mean that art today is any less insightful.

Part of what such vacuous art produced by the likes of Koons and Hirst is all about is the self-referential idea that it is kitsch and hollow.

They comment on the market by seeing how much they can sell it for, how many galleries will give them retrospectives, how many critics will hail them as incomparably brilliant (we’re looking at you, Jonathan).

In this way, Jones has created the environment that he is criticising by praising Hirst while ignoring more insightful artists. Mike Nelson for example, who represented Britain at the Venice Biennale last year, has created immersive and beautifully crafted installations which are just as profound as any masterpiece hung in the National Gallery. This week Jones also wrote a piece about the conversation between critic and public in our social media – critics are no longer the only voice in the discussion. So I can say, Jones, you’re wrong. I expect profundity, humor, sadness, spirituality and happiness from the art I search for and I find it time and time again in art schools, on the street, in massive institutional galleries and in small independent ones.

Catch the end of Subject to the Elements, an Edinburgh College of Art photography exhibition at Captain Taylor's Coffee House 'til 29 March.

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Love film? Let us know! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper film.studentnewspaper@gmail.com

JOANNA LISOWIEC

22 Film

Hunger for heroines

Sally Pugh discusses the importance of strong female role models on the big screen...and Bella Swan.

realisation that my life had just changed forever. What film, you might ask, could elicit such a powerful reaction? Citizen Kane? The Godfather? Not quite. In fact, the film which changed my life those 11 years ago was the cinematic triumph that is Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Before you lose complete faith in my cinematic taste, however, I must hasten to add that it was not exactly the film itself which made such an impression on me, but rather one particular aspect of it: Hermione Granger.

I was ten years old when I saw the boy wizard’s first cinematic adventure and, by all accounts, I was not the world’s coolest ten year old. I was gangly, awkward and deeply distressed that my talents seemed to lie in sinfully uncool pursuits such as spelling and maths, rather than in applying makeup and flirting with boys. When I saw Hermione on screen, however, everything changed. Here was a girl of about my age who was extremely smart and proud of it. She was brave, loyal and unwilling to change who she was in order to fit in. I vowed that from that moment on, I would follow my cinematic role model’s lead and never apologise for being myself.

11 years on, however, times have changed. Good old Hermione has finally disapparated from our screens and in her absence, young girls have found a new role model to look up to in the shape of Twilight heroine Bella Swan.

Without wishing to sound overdramatic, the unstoppable rise of this new

READY FOR ACTION: In Katniss Everdeen, The Hunger Games has created a true female heroine. teen role model should be a real cause of concern for us all.

So what is it exactly that makes the character of Bella Swan so problematic?

Firstly, whereas Hermione showed girls the importance of being sensible and independent, Bella teaches us that the most important thing to do in life is to please your boyfriend. Furthermore, she recommends that the best way of achieving this goal is to dramatically alter everything about yourself by sac-

rificing all of the things that are important to you from your family and friends to your basic humanity itself.

Bella’s life revolves around her vampire boyfriend Edward. Her reliance on him is so strong that when he temporarily ends their relationship in the second instalment of the Twilight franchise, her life comes to a complete halt.

She gives up on school and her friends and becomes a morose and melancholic shadow of her former self. It is no won-

ACT OF VALOR

THE HUNGER GAMES

DIRECTED BY MIKE MCCOY AND SCOTT WAUGH 

DIRECTED BY GARY ROSS  keep wishing I could think of Iownajustway to show them that they don’t me,” says Peeta ( Josh Hutcher-

WATCHMOVIESONLINE

ith a painfully cliched plot and W an unabashedly propagandistic message, it would seem that Act of

Valor is all brawn and gunfire that sorely lacks substance. Hearing the most stereotypical opening sound bite (“Another watchman, standing guard while the world sleeps.”) as the camera pans in to introduce the squad men, it is difficult not to snigger.

While Act of Valour certainly delivers a good, shot-of-adrenaline-upyour-spine action movie, a decent plot is needed to accompany the firepower.

Unfortunately, while Act of Valor certainly goes heavy on the action, it is sorely lacking in originality in its plot.

With the stereotypical smoking hot damsel in distress, complete with the cultured Bond villain (he even has a scar), the film could not be more hackneyed if it tried. Guns, helicopters and submarines alone are not enough to make an entertaining film.

Admittedly, directors Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh’s innovative combination of actual documentary footage into a fictionalised account of Navy SEAL operations gives the film

der that the young girls watching the endless scenes of a grief-stricken Bella mourning the loss of her boyfriend will find themselves questioning their selfworth and asking themselves what is the point of life without a boyfriend.

The actions and beliefs of cinematic role models can have a real influence the lives of the young people, who admire and idolise these characters.

Just a glance at any of the numerous studies which have been carried out on

SUBMERGENCE: But the political message lacks the SEALs' stealth.

a wonderfully realistic touch. With nearly half the film presented through gun sights, reminiscent of first-person shooter games, and mini-guns that fire up to three thousand rounds per minute, you can almost taste the metal. Incorporating actual battlefield technology and combat manoeuvres, Act of Valor is an unprecedented sneak peek into the secretive lives of the elite Navy SEALSs. While McCoy and Waugh are probably trying to present their subject matter as authentically as possible, even casting actual active duty Navy SEALs, they simplify matters too much. Touching on the Chechen

conflict and terrorist attacks on the US, McCoy and Waugh ignore the complexities of the conflict. Instead, they present them as two-dimensional villains that the US needs saving from and have the Navy SEALs swoop in to do so.

Despite the absolute lack of an unique plot, Act of Valor is worth watching just for heart-pounding action and for the unique insight it provides into the lives of US Navy SEALs. Andrea Yew Reviewed at Cineworld

son) in the middle of one of the most anticipated adaptations of recent years and the same could be said of fans desperate to preserve the gritty series from being glamourised by Hollywood.

Written by screenwriter Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games was always ripe for cinema. Set in a dystopian America where two teenagers from each of the country's 12 districts must fight one other to the death on television to preserve the totalitarian rule of the Capitol, it could’ve been like a slicker Survivor.

Fortunately, director Gary Ross evokes the right tone from the beginning. When we meet our heroine, Katniss Everdeen ( Jennifer Lawrence), in the sepia-toned Appalachian District 12, she looks more like the subject of a Dorothea Lange photograph than a sex symbol. Ross makes a mistake with his documentary-style irritating shaky camera in the opening, but Lawrence saves it

DADSBIGPLAN

n a typically grey Scottish night in O November 2001, I walked out of my local cinema filled with the sudden

the impact of film and media on young women’s self-esteem and body image shows how significant and potentially dangerous this influence can be. Do we really want a generation of teenage girls to grow up with a weak and subservient female character like Bella as a role model? Frankly, young women deserve better. They deserve to be able to go to the cinema and see strong, independent female characters who make them feel valuable and empowered.

Cue the perfectly timed arrival of Katniss Everdeen and The Hunger Games. Triumphantly charging into cinema’s last weekend, the first film in the tremendously popular fantasy trilogy The Hunger Games heralds the emergence of a new and refreshingly unconventional movie heroine in the form of Katniss. Described by actor Jennifer Lawrence as “a futuristic Joan of Arc”, Katniss is a character with the bravery and intelligence of Hermione combined with a strength and agility to rival Jason Bourne. Whereas Bella's life revolved around making her boyfriend happy, Katniss is motivated by much more admirable aims such as keeping herself alive so that she can keep putting food on her family’s table.

Katniss is a truly modern cinematic heroine and after several years of enduring a female role model as problematic as Bella, her arrival in cinemas is a real breath of fresh air. One can only hope that the young women who see The Hunger Games in the coming weeks leave the cinema filled with the positive realisation that they are strong, independent women who can be whoever they want to be. by giving the film an emotional core.

Combined with a talented supporting cast made up of jaded Woody Harrelson, campy Stanley Tucci and cool Lenny Kravitz, they rescue the film from turning into an action flick and make it in into the sharp political thriller it’s meant to be.

We see the rest of the film through Katniss’s cynical eyes. As she and fellow District 12 tribute Peeta enter the Capitol, a mix of Third Reich architecture and Marie Antoinette ostentation, it’s evident that the games are just entertainment to its morally bankrupt citizens. Although Katniss and Peeta both recognise they must woo the audience, they occasionally blur performance with reality. This leads to a romance that is contrived for one and authentic to the other.

The actual games don’t start until midway through and Ross conveys their violence without celebrating it. Instead, we are introduced to a barbaric world and protagonists who have the gumption to subvert it.

The Hunger Games pierces its subject matter like one of Katniss’s arrows. It’s still gripping for fans who know every twist, but will also lure in newcomers.

Tess Malone Reviewed at Cineworld

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Film 23

STAR RATING The Godfather Goodfellas Lock, Stock and Two Smoking BarrelsMickey Blue EyesThe Whole Nine Yards

WILD BILL DIRECTED BY DEXTER FLETCHER  hose looking for a Guy RitchieT style, ultra-violent, superficial gangster movie in the style of Lock, Stock

and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch look away now.

It appears this is exactly what you are getting as you watch the opening sequence: a grimy, dishevelled Bill (Charlie Creed-Miles) slouches out of prison, having served an eight-year sentence, to the strains of The Clash’s “Guns of Brixton”. At this point, you would be forgiven for sighing in disappointment and settling back in your seat filled with the glum expectation that any minute now the over-stylised visuals will set in, the dialogue will descend into incomprehensible cockney rhyming slang and various thugs will begin waving ridiculously big guns around whilst threatening to “proper f*ck each other up!”

Nothing, however, could be further from the film you are about to watch.

Yes, there is violence. There are drugs and nasal cockney drawls are certainly in abundance. Yet one-time Lock Stock star Dexter Fletcher has directed a

hard-hitting, funny and superbly moving family drama that illuminates the extent of hardship and poverty in British society that is too easily brushed under the carpet and ignored.

The plot centres around Bill Hayward, who returns home after leaving prison to find that the mother of his two children left nine months ago. His two sons have been fending for themselves and avoiding the interest of social-services. The initially uninterested Bill seems out of his depth and unable to turn their lives around. But when his youngest boy gets involved with his old drug dealing mates, Bill is forced to take hold of the situation and rebuild the family he has neglected for so long.

The social relevance of the film is continually highlighted by the fact that the eldest son works on a building site for the London Olympics. It constantly reminds us that, as the city prepares for this extravagant display of affluence and luxury, pressing problems of inequality and social exclusion remain unsolved, lurking in the background.

Whilst being equally funny, tragic, heart-warming and painful, Wild Bill is, above all, a film that simply should not be missed.

Jonathan Drake Reviewed at Cineworld

THE KID WITH A BIKE

DIRECTED BY JEAN-PIERRE AND LUC DARDENNE  elgian brothers Jean-Pierre and B Luc Dardenne’s latest film counterbalances the bleak reality of a ne-

glected child in foster care, with a sweet and kindhearted hairdresser who offers the boy shelter and protection. No backstory is provided, the film merely offers an isolated look at a complicated relationship after a chance encounter.

The result is a poignant and beautiful tale of abandonment, trust and, ultimately, love.

Young Cyril, impressively played by 12 year old Thomas Doret whose emotional depth spans way beyond his years, struggles to accept the reality of his vacant father. He chooses to believe his bike is stolen before considering that his father sold it before he left. Samantha, played by Cécile de France with great warmth and charm, retrieves the bike. Perhaps in seeing the visible void left in his life by his father or perhaps simply out of the goodness of her heart, she agrees to be Cyril’s weekend fosterparent. The lack of backstory, however, leaves her motivations ambiguous.

Beautiful shots of Cyril riding his bike through suburban Belgium are interspersed throughout the film and serve as classic examples of the Dardennes’ naturalistic approach to filmmaking and use of light. These scenes act, for the most part, as moments of brief optimism. When the film strays from the very basis of the kid and his bike, it takes on slightly darker notes. Primarily, this concerns the relationship that grows between Cyril and the local drug dealer, as well as his violent outbursts which earn him the nickname 'Pitbull' due to his penchant for biting.

The dialogue is completely outdone by both the depth of emotion the characters achieve and the aesthetics.

Tension between Cyril and his father and Samantha’s devotion to a boy she knows very little about are highlighted simply through lingering looks, to great effect.

The overall effect of The Kid With A Bike is as much charming as it is moving. The absence of a soundtrack and backstory allows the film to transcend typical plot conventions and has the emotion to leave a lasting effect.

Ryan White Reviewed at Filmhouse

Is there money on Mars?

JOHN CARTER: Has lost his shirt...and $200 million. isney’s latest blockbusting venture D sees a Civil War veteran landed inexplicably on Mars amidst a tribe of

12-foot tall barbarians and forced to escape captivity. Bearing in mind that description is a pretty charitable rendering of the synopsis of John Carter, you could be forgiven for deciding to avoid space travel and stay on Earth to watch practically anything else, as many across the globe have opted for.

Disney has recently revealed after the initial release of the film that it could lose up to a Mars-shattering $200 million. If this happens, it would make the film the biggest flop in Hollywood history. Obviously, the unconvincing trailer and the superfluous special effects immediately start to detract from the overall quality of the film, but people pay good money every week to gawk at spectacles such as these, Avatar being a good case in point. Perhaps

it’s down to the frankly boring and unyielding title of the film- John Carter?

Political thriller following the life of unknown yet controversial public figure? No. Shirtless human fights his way around goofy excuses for Martians in front of a green screen.

“

Margins first and inspiration later looks like the order in Hollywood at the moment."

However, the real problem might be the optimistically oversized budget.

Weighing in at approximately $250 million, the film demands a heavyweight audience attendance whilst unfortunately boasting an underweight premise. The production company

WAE

Dan Scott Lintott puts Disney's potentially record-breaking loss into perspective

seems to be taking a considerable risk with a budget like that. In addition to a reportedly ambiguous marketing campaign, which includes the odd title and lukewarm reviews, Disney has concocted a recipe for disaster.

Of course, cinema has a rich history of box office bombs. The Wachowksi Brother’s 2008 gamble into family friendly fun with Speed Racer saw them firmly in the red without enough of a bankroll to risk another $120 million for a sequel double up. A highly produced and visually intense romp of special effects and prolonged car racing sequences shows that you should never direct a film as your target audience would, which in this case means like children. Understandably, the CGI demanded it, but an enormous budget without real necessity and essentially for flashy gimmicks should not be the future of any kind of film-

making. Without being too harsh, they got what was coming to them. By contrast, Uma Thurman’s 2009 film Motherhood suffered a colossal percentage loss, supposedly due to poor advertising. With a budget of $3 million, it grossed a sorry $60,000 worldwide, with a reported taking of just £8 on the opening weekend in London, meaning just one person watched it.

However, John Carter has been said to have spent between $50 to $100 millon on advertising alone, but perhaps just in the wrong way.

Looking at these films compared to recent success stories is truly bewildering. The global success of The King’s Speech managed to net $250 million worldwide from a budget of just $3 million, which is a fantastic investment and testament to the quality and success of the film itself. However, it wasn’t set up to be an enormous blockbuster on the same level that all these flops should have been. It was made in Pinewoods studios in London, aiming to tell the story of George VI and overall to simply make a great film.

Even using words like ‘net’, ‘gross’ and ‘investment’ in relation to film, turns what should be an art form into a commodity. These words are the language of economics. Clearly, money plays its part as it does in every part of the capitalist organism, but upping the budget in order to up the margins of a film seems excessive. When studios make a film on a budget of $100 million, it is fair to say that they expect big returns, considering it part of their business model. Sadly, this mentality leads to a degrading quality of film and lack of funding for films that are not purely focused on margins. Margins first and inspiration later looks like the order in Hollywood at the moment.

As The King’s Speech clearly shows, this process needs to be reversed, not only for the art, but for the money as well.

After all, quality sells itself.

Classic Cult

eople don’t like the word ‘avantP garde’. It has a hipster precociousness, a studious swagger, an

ahead-of-the-curve smirk. ‘Avantgarde’ art doesn’t want to be liked; it wants to be thought about. Most people generally don’t want ‘thinking’ art. They want entertainment. They want beauty. They want to exercise their senses…not their brains.

Avant-garde film has about the same deplorable reputation in pop culture as other avant-garde forms.

But one thing it does have going for it is its close proximity to its more mainstream sister form. In fact, mainstream film and television have derived much of their flair from filmmakers working more or less exclusively within an avant-garde context. For example, avant-garde filmmaker Kenneth Anger more or less pioneered the music video form in his 1964 film Scorpio Rising.

Along with the obvious influence that film had on MTV executives, Martin Scorcese has also openly cited Anger as a key influence.

But the avant-garde influence that pulses beneath the skin of Hollywood is not why I love avant-garde film. Before fully explaining myself, I should offer my affection with a grain of salt: it took me a few years and mountains of patience to get there. You don’t sit down, watch one of these films and walk away declaiming their virtues. Quite often, you are frustrated: you have vivid fantasies of beating the director over the head with the film reel—episodes of manic rage at this lunatic who has eaten chunks of valuable time from your life.

Here’s a case study: let’s imagine that you sit down in your cosy common room with a copy of Larry Gottheim’s seminal 1970 film Fog Line. The picture fades in and you look out on what appears to be a mist-covered valley. The vague shapes of trees loom out of the mist, but mostly you see just whiteness.

Cutting across the screen, dividing the frame roughly into thirds, are power lines. The mists shift across the valley. Trees materialise and then disappear again. The camera never moves. There is no sound. 11 minutes later, the picture cuts out.

The odds are pretty good that you will feel angry, cheated, underwhelmed, frustrated and maybe even a little bit stupid. (At least, those are the adjectives that capture my state of mind after my first viewing.) But I promise that no matter how you feel, Gottheim’s little film will have done a number on you. Many people, I suspect, will eventually shrug it off and never think of it again. But if you keep an open mind, questions will begin to dawn on you.

The magic of these films is the questions that leap out of the ether (or out of the mist, if you will); avant-garde film is not about answers—it’s about provoking questions. The single prerequisite is that you approach them with an open mind. The more avant-garde films you watch, the more open minded you become. That’s the nature of the work it does on you. Perhaps that sounds like only another wave of hipster pretension, but how would you know? You haven’t had your date with Fog Line.

Taylor Coe

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

A cherry good time

Stuart Iversen catches a brilliant gig at the HMV Picturehouse from American rockers Black Stone Cherry BLACK STONE CHERRY HMV Picturehouse

 lack Stone Cherry are touring the B UK to promote Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea, their latest album

which hit number 13 in the UK album chart. Opening the show is Rival Sons, who hail from Long Beach, California and are the perfect act to warm up the crowd with their heavily Led Zeppelin influenced style of blues rock.

However, tonight is all about Black Stone Cherry. Opening with “Changes”, this set just seems to go from strength to strength as the crowd respond to everything from the older songs like “Rain Man” to the newer tracks like “Such a Shame”. Chris Robertson’s voice sounds fantastic while lead guitarist Ben Wells seems to have an

Albums 3 FOOT NINJA Fear UNSIGNED



I

can feel this coming faster!” So begins the roaring debut album from 3 Foot Ninja – a Yorkshire based trio with an original and distinctive sound that is reminiscent of bands such as The Futureheads, Arctic Monkeys, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Cage the Elephant and The Fratellis.

This first line sets the tone for the next 45 minutes. Towering vocals, thunderous bass lines, relentless beats and memorable riffs follow in quick succession, leaving barely enough time

unlimited supply of energy as he covers every inch of the stage leaping off amps and head banging like it’s his last show.

Even the usual groan inducing drum solo is livened up by John Fred Young’s decision to ditch his drum sticks and finish it up with just his hands.

“

They banter naturally with the crowd and the size of the venue seems to shrink as they play through a variety of covers."

However it’s when Black Stone Cherry take out some stools and go into the acoustic section of their show that the crowd interaction hits its peak. to catch your breath between each song. This is music that grabs you by the throat and demands to be played at full volume. It is clearly designed with live shows in mind; within a minute of the first song you will begin tapping your foot and won’t be able to stop until the last chord is struck. It isn’t hard to see why the band is building a reputation for outstanding, frenetic and breathtaking gigs. However, this is not an album lacking subtlety. “Freedom Rising from the Floor” has a rare tenderness to the lyrics that is so often missing from other indie punk music: “You’re a frozen star my darlin’/ Send a shiver down my spine/ Dart across the sky/ like fury racing by” sings Jordan Bell on what is the album’s stand-out track. There is a poise and confidence about these songs that belies assumptions about a young band making their debut.

Simmering anger and frustration

They banter naturally with the audience and the size of the venue seems to shrink as they play through a variety of covers including Nirvana, Oasis and Lynyrd Skynyrd classic “Tuesday’s Gone”, which they admit they are playing live for the first time. They do it justice. Following the acoustic section, they play through “Devil’s Queen” and the ridiculous “Blame it on the Boom Boom”, which has the entire crowd bouncing around with a smile on their face.

The encore consists of Robertson and Wells playing “Peace is Free” before the rest of the band join them for the final chorus, then finishing up with “Lonely Train”. It’s clear that Black Stone Cherry are on form at the moment and as a live band they are tight and natural. Rock and roll shows are often overcomplicated. Black Stone Cherry however keep it simple and, in doing so, leave everyone happy.

constantly threatens to bubble over as the music tears through your speakers.

Lines such as “I wanna tell you everything/I wanna make sure England doesn’t happen to you” demonstrate that this is a band that is not shying away from social commentary. This image of disillusioned youth and violent dissatisfaction is worryingly relevant in the face of recent youth riots, national protests, impending government cuts and rising unemployment.

Sometimes the frantic energy of this superb album is slightly overwhelming; the comparatively gentle “Freedom Rising from the Floor” comes as welcome respite six songs in. Nevertheless, this is an outstanding album filled with catchy, sing-along anthems. If you don’t hear it then you are missing out.

Jonathan Drake

I WOOD: The boys are looking dashing in the forest

WE THE KINGS

Sunshine State of Mind VIRGIN



N

o matter what mood you’re in, there is always something by We The Kings to cheer you up and their third album does just that. Even the cover sleeve of the CD radiates sunshine vibes with an abundance of acoustic guitars.

From the very first track, “Friday is Forever”, you get a feel of the summer in the upbeat and uplifting style of the album. It’s a perfect time of year for Sunshine State of Mind to be releasedwith its mix of fast and slower tempo tunes.

The highlights are undoubtedly “Say You Like Me” and “Someone to Call My Own". If “Sleep With Me”

RUFUS WAINWRIGHT

Singles

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lthough I tried to suppress my excitement when I first listened to Rufus Wainwright’s new single “Out of the Game”, I just can’t help loving every little detail of it. Its most endearing moment comes when he sings “suckers” in the chorus. No other man in the whole universe can sing “suckers” in such an inexplicably amazing way. It goes with a harmony from a group of gospel singers – his recent theatre-oriented business (writing for musicals and an opera) may shed some light on the influences. A sense of 1920s Tin Pan Alley atmosphere permeates the whole track. The album cover, which reminds me of A Picture of Dorian Gray, is just as excellent as Wainwright’s voice. The lyrics speak of personal experience: “I’m lookin’ for something/can’t be found on the main drain”. Stay beautiful, Rufus.

I’m looking forward to the new album, due to be released next month.

Zining Cui

COLPLAY

SUMMER CAMP

Out Of The Game DECCA

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does not get stuck in your head then the secret needs to be shared for the sake of me going around singing it out loud in a public place.

Clark’s vocals are clear, crisp and individual. Unfortunately, the album lacks the band's original roots. The somewhat edgier and rock-rooted riffs of old are so far gone that if not for Clark’s tones they could be a completely different band. The album’s a little more charming than the previous two, but lacks a bit of the rawness of their initial creations.

It’s a strange mix of love gained and love lost highlighted by contrasting lyrics such as, “But it’s true, I’m finally over you” and “with every single dollar, I’ll be sure to buy you flowers…as long as you’ll spend it with me”.

They may find themselves outside the typical indie or pop scene but it doesn’t go against them.

Katie Walker

Losing My Mind MOSHI MOSHI

Charlie Brown PARLOPHONE

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ike a mixture of Ratatat and Blondie brought together with the cold sweeping blow of wind through trees recovering from winter, Summer Camp’s new single “Losing My Mind” is a gem. With its relaxed and quirky vibe, it manages to be simultaneously upbeat, melodic and low-key. Muted, easy to take in, its 80s feel is firmly impressed into the music.

With lines that stick, like “this house isn’t big enough for the both of us”, it is full of woe, but peaceable.

There is progression in the lines; it is a story, a living narrative. The lines link, the lyrics twirl into one other: it's a conversation inarticulated, but understood nonetheless, that offers insight effortlessly. Like a big glass of water with pink lemonade squash in it, it's thirst-quenching, yet makes you reach for another glass.

Zosia Jasinska

D

espite the fact that Coldplay are musical veterans, their latest single is fresh, exciting and sounds young and carefree. Continuing their new electro/ soft-rock sound, “Charlie Brown” is a floor-filler with heart, featuring a riff that will be stuck in your head for days. The best part is, you won’t actually mind.

Amid the rousing lead guitar and spangly electro-effects, Chris Martin’s voice is as distinctive as ever, harping back to the band’s earlier days. Yet this upbeat track symbolises their stayingpower, proving that they’re not afraid to keep evolving and experimenting without losing that characteristic Coldplay essence. Guaranteed to fill both dance floors and stadiums, this track will make you want to ditch your studying, grab some mates and dance across the Meadows in the sun. If you’re looking for a summer anthem, this might just be it.

Lisa Gilroy

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Music 25

STAR RATING  Woah!Yeah!Hurrr!Hmm! Urgh!

Festival guide 2012 Part two: Belgium T

he caption of 2manydjs' latest slogan merchandise, “Belgians Do it Better”, is a phrase fitting for the patrons of the mash-up mixology, with their anything goes attitude to song selection.

Such praise may also be awarded, not directly to the chocolate, but to some of the nation’s festival curators. Homegrown greatness has mapped a somewhat unlikely location for our festival guide part two. But beware: do not overlook our Belgian neighbours. Here are three reasons why.

DOUR 12 July - 15 July £97 In reaching distance from the borders of France, Germany, The Netherlands and Luxembourg—whilst only being a short distance overseas for us—this four day festival from 12-15 July is a melting pot of international influences. There is, for instance, a music maelstrom of rock, pop, indie, hardcore, metal, reggae, dub, techno, electro, house, disco, dance, hiphop and rap. No word of a lie. This year’s roster includes all of the above (and in said order): Franz Ferdinand, Selah Sue, Bon Iver, Atari Teenage Riot, Ministry, Tiken-Jah-Fakoly, Roots Manuva, Adam Beyer, Brodinski vs. Gesaffelstein, Joris Voorn, Space Dimension Controller, Club Cheval, Caribou, Assassin and Murkage.

ROCK WERCHTER 29 June - 1 July £162 Rock Werchter is the granddaddy of Belgian festivals, with a rich heritage tracing back to the 1970s, where it started life out as a rock and blues festival. Now it has grown in stature into one of Europe’s biggest festivals, but still located in the village of Werchter, 30km from Brussels.

You can expect to see from 28 June to 1 July: Jack White, Blink-182, Elbow, Pearl Jam, M83, Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dropkick Murphys.

PUKKELPOP 16 August - 18 August TBA

PICTURE THIS: Classic festival scenes at Rock Werchter

On a par with Werchter, but taking place at the end of the summer break, from 16 to 18 August, is Pukkelpop.

Located near Kiewit near the city of Hasselt, the line-up is still in the making.

However, creatively driven, the organisers asked the first 5,000 fans to send in their top five names to play at the festival. It is always one to watch, with over eight stages of acts. Sadly, whether the festival will make it for another year remains to be seen following the tragic storm that killed five in 2011, ending the festival on its first day. Let’s hope it can recover from this disaster and come back bigger and better for the future.

Joshua Angrave

WISH YOU WERE HERE? Dour looks pretty happy to us

PUCKER UP: Pukkelpop's line up is defined by the audience

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Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

STAR RATING You're Hired!You're Hired, Pending References!You're an Intern!You're Suspended!You're Fired!

You're hired... Again!

LOST

&

FOUND

BBC1 Wednesdays, 9pm

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CITV (1993-1997) TV-links.com

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uring the golden age of CITV (the mid-to-late 1990s), a surge of new animation emerged from the murky mess of a channel previously obsessed with paint splodging millionaires and creepy, balding puppet owners. Amongst these innovative alumni was Hurricanes, a show that put football at the centre of its quest to turn its square-eyed rascal viewers into righteous little cherubs.

The show followed the Hurricanes, a fictional football team led by a shouting ginger Scotsman and their feisty 12 year old chairwoman as they scored goals and denounced evil, travelling across the world in all its shades of Technicolor glory. Made in slapdash 2D and liable to moments of amateur blunder, Hurricanes attempted to make up for its artistic inadequacy with optimistic but unfortunately blinkered attempts at sticking a soul into the beautiful game.

Our eponymous heroes were the handsome, hardworking antithesis to their immediate enemies and closest rivals ‘The Garkos Gorgons’. They were corporate thugs buying anything in sight and representing the threat of commercialism in the 1990s that would come to haunt the sport.

The 1990s were a transitional period for football- with the introduction of Sky and a new, determined effort to kick racism out of the game. This meant that more than ever before, a national focus was placed on making it free of institutionalised discrimination and terracefriendly prejudice.

A message that, quite clearly, didn’t make it to Cartoonland.

Hurricanes treats anyone of nonWestern heritage with a patronising tone, employing casual racism and often lazy imagery. The black players either come from dangerous slums, inexplicably don’t wear shoes or simply bumble their way through episodes, spending the title sequence playing bongos in the jungle.

The intention is clearly to broaden the minds of children watching by introducing them to exotic locations, using the spirit of football as their guide, but more often than not the plot follows thusly: dangerous place with foreigners.

White people are scared. White people save the day. White people hug foreigners. Everyone is happy.

Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David always said of Seinfeld that their main objective was to ensure “No Hugging. No Learning.” In Hurricanes we see a curious twist on the proposal, leaving a show with plenty of hugging and learning. It’s just that the lessons taught are skewed by the ugly hangover of a sports’ changing ideals and a spot of condescension.

Jack Murray

ntering its eighth series, The Apprentice thankfully shows no sign of getting old. This wonderfully produced show will have you rolling your eyes until your eyeballs ache as you watch supposedly the nation’s brightest and best making utter fools of themselves.

Nothing has changed, but why mess with a winning formula? All the classic moments are in place from episode one: running up and down streets carrying ridiculous objects, shots of gormless facial expressions and scenes where six people in suits make a hash of simple practical tasks like stacking boxes or walking across a park.

Lord Sugar’s aides Nick and Karen are back radiating silent judgement.

The Lord himself is in top form, occasionally appearing idiotic (“I’m looking for a partner, the Marks to my Spencer.”), but always impressive in his knack for getting the measure of candidates.

The opening statements give us our best introduction to the candidates.

The cream of this season’s crop include: “By day I’m a business superstar, and by night I’m also a professional wrestler”, “I truly am the reflection of perfection” and “I’m like a shark, right at the top of the food chain.”

This week’s task involved printing a design onto plain merchandise and

HIT THE ROAD JACK Channel 4 Tuesdays, 10:30pm

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it the Road Jack, British comedian Jack Whitehall’s new comedy show on Channel 4, is fine. Its premise sees Whitehall embark on a mission to travel around Britain and have the show in a different area every week, exploring and - of course - making fun of the local culture.

The opening episode of the series sees Whitehall travelling around the whole of Wales. There is too much packed into the 24 minutes of airtime and in the limited time he has to make us laugh, most of the jokes focus on national stereotypes and so the material often seems diluted and fractured.

The program had all the right ingredients as far as comedy shows go – with guest musicians, celebrities and funny sketches – but it seems as though quality content has been sacrificed in favour of quantity. Admittedly, with only six episodes in the series this decision is perhaps understandable.

At two points in the show, Whitehall dresses up in character to make fun of the unsuspecting Welsh. This has its funny moments, like seeing a group of rugby players make animal noises and a girl agree to become a transvestite for a

then selling it for as much profit as possible. The boys cheerily produce products you wouldn’t buy from nursery school children, while inexplicably the girls decide to go to the zoo, doing an appalling job selling anything and in the process getting told off by an old man for being aggressive. It’s anybody’s game.

The first episode is always chaos as everyone tries desperately to make

their mark and drown out everyone else. Heavy in comedy, there are nonetheless some promising candidates who will no doubt win our respect in later weeks. Without giving anything away, look forward to top-standard, gasp-inducing boardroom antics.

A cut above other reality TV, The Apprentice gets the balance right every time. Compelling because you’re never sure which team is going to lose and

what will be their downfall, satisfying because the villains always get their comeuppance and hilarious, because people with huge egos and enough airtime inevitably are. There’s some extra magic too, with the program producing scenes which gently highlight the ridiculous folly of human nature without jumping down your throat with it. You’ll never go back to My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

SMUG: "You could try making as much money as me. You could try." job as a member of the royal family. The real comedic highlight is the characters Whitehall has created. While not completely convincing as a rugby guru, he does successfully pull off the role of a posh woman - though perhaps this isn't much of a stretch, with half of that particular character already firmly in place. While not necessarily being the most sophisticated comedy, it is still amusing to watch.

“

While not necessarily being the most sophisticated comedy, it is still amusing to watch."

The low point of the show is the interview with the celebrity guest. Ruth Jones, one of Wales’s most talented comedy writers and actresses, has about three minutes of speaking time, most of which is interrupted by Whitehall trying to upstage her. What has the potential to be the most interesting part of the show, instead, sees Whitehall’s ego taking over and suffers as a result.

It isn’t a bad show overall and if there is nothing else on it would be worth watching. However, when you compare it to shows like Russell Howard’s Good News, it just does not stand up.

Katie Macpherson

TALK AT THE BBC BBC4 Tuesdays, 9pm

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ith BBC4's Talk at the BBC, it’s made clear from the outset that this is very much a “classic” collection.

This is not simply because the tinkling music and stylised font follows that well trodden The Hour and Mad Men style, but because the whole interview process is so far removed from what we see on our screens today. Talk serves as a reminder that 40 years ago, the interviewer was rarely even shown on screen.

Talk is not about Wossy or the Chatty Man, it's about the subjects. It’s refreshing to witness an interviewee afforded the chance to deliver a monologue that reminds us why they belong on screen. David Niven’s gracious and gentle retelling of a naive encounter in London appears completely his own, with Parkinson seemingly as rapt as the viewers at home. Today, stars often have little choice but to assist the interviewer by means of snappy single sentences in creating a pre-orchestrated portrait.

That is not to say that the program places these interactions on a pedestal.

Intelligent compilations lull the viewer into a false sense of security. Just as

BBC

HURRICANES

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THE APPRENTICE

YOUTUBE

CITV

Melissa Geere evaluates the performance of Lord Alan Sugar's personal hiring and firing extravaganza

one began to long for the candour and ease of those past idols like Robert Mitchum’s sedated late night drawl or Sammy Davis Jr’s mournful and resolute soliloquies, sexism and racism rear their heads with unsettling effects.

Whilst the men are offered the chance to wax lyrical on women’s “lack of concentration ... always thinking about what they’re going to get for dinner” (Stanley Clarke) or how women’s place at Cambridge has changed from something “decorative, remote and unassertive” into something ruinous (Gilbert Harding), women are given no choice but to explain and defend.

The formidable responses of Nancy Astor to the patronising tone make for scintillating viewing. When, after decades as a member of parliament, she is asked if she thought women were as suited to public life as men considering they were “rather emotionally unstable”, she refers to man’s crippling need to be flattered and unsticks the interviewer by ignoring just that. However, Jayne Mansfield and Marianne Faithfull’s cornered justifications of their respective sex appeal and drug use are more fraught than victorious.

By revealing contemporary injustices through the mouths of respected figures,Talk restores the ego-dominated talk show format to its rightful, revelatory origins.

Imogen Lloyd

Tuesday March 27 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport fan? Write for us! sport@studentnewspaper.org

Sport 27

Olympic security: too high a price?

Injury Time

Nina Seale explains LOCOG's budget headache ahead of the London Games

TAKES A WRY LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT

WARNING SIGNS: Security for the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver was five times over budget EVERY COUNTRY that hosts the Olympic Games faces the problem of under-budgeting. The honour and excitement of hosting the world’s most spectacular sporting event loses its shine in the offices of the London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games (LOCOG), where the members try to crunch the numbers and stick their fingers in the air for estimates of the millions they will be spending.

The money spent on the 2012 Summer Olympics in London is already under scrutiny. As with all public funding, we feel we have the right to know exactly where our money is going. Hence the authorities face the public’s anger whenever the spending of taxpayer’s money is not organised well. So understandably, there was national indignation when Labour MP Margaret Hodge, Chair of the Committee of Public Accounts,

criticised the distribution of the £9.3 billion given to LOCOG in the Public Sector Funding Package. She pointed out that the overall cost to the public of the Games is already looking to be around £11 billion, two billion more than the government planned on giving them.

The main example in the budget concerns security for the Games. In her statement to the press, Hodge said, “LOCOG now needs more than twice the number of security guards it originally estimated and the costs have roughly doubled.

“It is staggering that the original estimates were so wrong – LOCOG has had to renegotiate its contract with G4S for venue security from a weak negotiating position and there is a big question mark over whether it secured a good deal for the taxpayer.”

RICKY SHRIVE

million fell five times short.

But security is a necessary cost and history has shown the dangers of putting it too low on the list of priorities for such a well-publicised event. The sporting achievements of the 1972 Summer Olympics were completely overshadowed by the ‘Munich Massacre’, when eight Palestinian guerrillas broke into the Olympic Village and held 11 Israeli athletes, coaches and officials hostage.

Later that day, they travelled by helicopter to a military airport where an undermanned rescue attempt by the German authorities resulted in the violent deaths of all the hostages.

But what can the government do about it now? The plans for the Games cannot be taken back; once a project has been confirmed, the money and builders are immediately thrown at it so it can be ready in time. Pulling out ceases to be an option when side-issues like security suddenly become bigger and more expensive. So Hodge and her team now have no choice but to throw more taxpayer’s money at LOCOG and hope they negotiate a better deal next time.

It is not the first time that security costs have been underestimated for the Olympic Games. For the last ten years, terrorist attacks on the Games have been high on the list of potential disasters, but not considered early enough to account for extra security funding. The 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver had to deepen its purse by an extra C$725 million after the original estimate of C$175

Mind games over matter

“

LOCOG now needs more than twice the number of security guards it originally estimated and the costs have roughly doubled" Margaret Hodge MP

But there are other concerns surrounding how much muscle is sent to police the Olympics – what about the rest of the UK? Early figures have suggested that around 12,000 police officers will be patrolling the Games during peak times. Hopefully, this means that security will be able to respond quickly and efficiently should a problem arise.

However, the government need to make sure that they have contingency plans for problems elsewhere that would require a big police presence. The 2011 riots left us with a shaky feeling of public unrest.

Who knows what would have happened without the heavy police action? Something to consider as we look forward to the Olympic summer.

End of an era for India's favourite couple

Phil Smith assesses the careers of Sachin Tendulkar and the recently retired Rahul Dravid the ultimate role model both on and off the pitch. Rahul Dravid was alongside him for so many years. Dravid is widely regarded as the most respected cricketer in the world, not just for his resilience and ruthless run making, but for his exemplary conduct. Together, they have carried the hopes of a fanatical cricket nation on their shoulders. They have never failed to step up to the mark. As the game moves into a new era of bigger money and shorter formats, one can only hope that the example of these two great men will live on in the new generation.

In many ways, the retirement of Dravid seems to be the end of an era.

Lovingly referred to as ‘The Wall’ across the cricketing world, Dravid was the ultimate competitor. Refusing to throw his wicket away, he would occupy the crease for days, showing steel and powers of concentration hitherto never seen.

In the recent series against England, Dravid was the sole resistance in a side that looked fatally short of character, passion and fight. On top of this, he was so often the man sent to face the music at the end of the day, meeting the media with unfailing dignity. In Twenty20 era, it is difficult to imagine a place for

a player like Dravid, the ultimate test cricketer. If moving away from this traditional format means losing men like him, then it is something that must be resisted, surely.

Tendulkar, however, conquered every format thrown at him. The greatest test run scorer in history, he was also the first man to score a double century in one day international cricket. He embraced and excelled in the Twenty20 format, combining his traditional stroke play and exemplary technique with a raw aggression and flair that has consistently set him apart from his peers. Even at 38 years old, the youthful exuberance of his batting remains. This is the cornerstone of the affection cricket fans hold for him. Few can ever forget how, in his early twenties, he completely dismantled the great Shane Warne – dancing down the track and lifting him over the infield time and time again. Tendulkar never changed the way he approached cricket and batting, and the success this brought him will probably leave him forever beyond comparison.

The game of cricket is approaching a crossroads of sorts. A new generation of cricketers are earning more money than ever and are expected to provide exciting

play with it. It is imperative, however, that the flair Tendulkar embodied is matched with the strength of character and humility that he and Dravid have shown throughout their careers. If they do, the game will find itself in a very secure state to face the challenges ahead. Dravid and Tendulkar are not just peerless cricketers; they are peerless role models.

LEGENDS: India's greatest pair

ROHIT AGARKAR

WHEN I was 16, I spent a worrying amount of my time hidden away in my room, plotting glory with my beloved Durham and England teams on Cricket Captain- the game’s equivalent of the Football Manager series. When Sachin Tendulkar was 16, he was playing the real thing. Making his debut for India against Pakistan in what is probably the fiercest rivalry in world sport, Tendulkar battled against a fine pace attack, taking blow after blow. At one stage, he even refused medical help as blood poured from his nose. It was a baptism of extraordinary fire, but early signs were that the ‘little master’ had something a little bit special about him. And so he would go on to prove. A typically flamboyant inning against Bangladesh 23 years later would be his 100th century in international cricket, an unprecedented achievement unlikely to ever be repeated. Quite simply, Tendulkar is the greatest batsman ever to have lived.

In many ways, however, Tendulkar’s finest achievements transcend the runs scored on the pitch. What is most remarkable is the way he has retained a humility despite being deified by a nation making up almost 20 per cent of the world’s population. Tendulkar has been

“MIND GAMES” – you won’t be able to escape them.

No matter where you go, no matter which newspaper you read, no matter how many times you try and turn off Match of the Day before you have to listen to Alan Hansen whinge about how much of a disgrace it is that yet another Liverpool 0-0 is going to be shown last, you won’t be able to hide. As March begins to move into April, the “mind games” go into overdrive and Injury Time has decided to jump straight on the bandwagon.

Yes, that point in the season has arrived when Sir Alex Ferguson has finally put down his bottle of plonk,rolled up his sleeves – as one naturally stereotypically does if he comes from a ship-building area of Glasgow – and has decided that it is time to unleash the “mind games” upon whichever uneviable soul just so happens to be challenging Manchester United for the Premier League.

This year is very different, however, as Manchester Shitty are not so shitty anymore. But even though Shiekh Mansour has invested a gazillion pounds, his team are still struggling to hold off United (they need not be referred to as “Manchester United” because there exists no other football club in Britain with “United” in their name.)

This is down to “mind games”.

Or so most sports ‘experts’ (this apparently includes Mark Lawrenson, whose BBC pay packet seems to have taken a plunge if his hand-me-down, two-sizes-too-small Primarni shirts are anything to go by), pundits and journalists would have us believe.

Sky and the BBC have gone mental for mind games over the last week with leading articles on Fergie’s taunts to Mancini, and yet smaller, less significant articles from the Man City boss on how his team will “win the title.” No one is capable of mind games aside from the Scot you see – because he’s experienced. Experience wins you titles; as our learned friend Mr. Hansen once said, “Ye’ll nee win notin’ wi’ kids.”

Over the coming weeks, we will be treated to Kevin Keegan’s infamous“love it” interview, as well as footage of Rafael Benitez’s bizarre listing of the grievances with “Meester Ferguson” when Liverpool were top of the league and the Spaniard seemingly shat himself with vertigo.

Manchester United won the title in 1996 and in 2009 because Meester Ferguson got inside the opposition’s head. They did not have a better team than Newcastle United or Liverpool and remarkably they did not even get more points than their opponents, despite what the league tables may say. No, Sir Alex simply used his experience to employ “mind games” and win the title for all his adoring Chinese and cockney fans.

So please spare a thought for the Italian Stallion, Mancini, as you watch his team – the cost of whom could prop up Greece, Ireland and Portugal’s flailing economies, as well as satisfy Harry Redknapp’s offshore bank account – wilt under the intense pressure.

Despite Manchester Not-So-Shitty’s undoubted footballing talents, this matters not-a-jot from now until 13th May. For, as Fergie regularly spells out to Wayne Rooney and Phil Jones in their pre-match Alphabetti Spaghetti, it’s all about “Mind games over matter.”

Chris Waugh

Sport

Tuesday March 27 2012

studentnewspaper.org

Cricket's Indian summer comes to an end

Phil Smith salutes the achievements of the retired Rahul Dravid and the ever-green Sachin Tendulkar p 27

Table tennis star going for gold

Davie Heaton previews the World Team Championships with Edinburgh student and Scottish international Craig Howieson maybe sneak an unexpected win.”

While teammate Rumgay aims for selection for London 2012, Howieson hopes to graduate this summer, start a probationary year of Physical Education teacher training in the autumn and turn professional in 2012. The Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games is his next major target.

He added, “It has been a very quick four years at University but I’ve really enjoyed it, especially my placement at Balerno High School.

“I’ve taken table tennis workshops wherever I’ve been and encouraged the pupils to get involved – they have been interested to find out that I compete for Scotland and they give you that extra bit of respect, which is nice.

“When I’m on placement I train four nights a week and as a full-time player I will be putting in about 35 hours a week, so it’s nice for pupils to see what it takes to play at this level.

“I made the decision to go to university and I always knew it could impact on my chances of going to London 2012, but Glasgow 2014 was always my main aim.

“I’ll go full-time a year and a half before Glasgow and having been in Delhi, I know the drive and determination it will take to make it there.”

DRIVEN: Howieson competed at the 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games and hopes to make Glasgow

Hearts call for fairer SPL voting

Davie Heaton finds the Edinburgh club leading the charge to reverse the dominance of the Old Firm in deciding top-tier matters 11-1 voting system for structural changes, which favour Rangers and Celtic, for a 9-3 format which would make securing wide-ranging reforms easier.

A club statement dismissed claims made on Thursday by Celtic chief executive Peter Lawwell, who described meetings by the ten non-old firm to discuss changes as “divisive”.

TIME TO CHANGE:The Tynecastle outfit want a more democratic SPL

ALASDAIR MACKAY

UNFAIR VOTING rules in the Scottish Premier League are the biggest blocking mechanism facing the Scottish game, according to Hearts.

The Edinburgh club wants a more democratic system in a bid to stabilise the league, which faces massive uncertainty as a result of Rangers’ administration.

They hope to ditch the current

“The ultimate aim of every club in the SPL should be to implement change for the good of the game, its supporters, clubs, communities and the wider country as a whole,” read the statement.

“In order to achieve this aim it is crucial to unlock the single biggest blocking mechanism towards progress that the game in Scotland faces.

“That is why Hearts backs the proposal to amend the SPL voting structure to a more democratic system, one that is designed to be to the benefit of every SPL and indeed SFA member club and in the interests of the game as a whole at a time when positive change is vital.

“Every individual, club and organisation associated with the game has a responsibility to play its part in moving the game forward positively and Hearts takes its responsibility

very seriously.”

Hearts believe the implementation of the proposed change could have wide-ranging benefits.

The statement added. “The resolution proposes a change that would allow for a more democratic voting structure and in turn create a spirit of true enterprise, commercialism and competition that every club can benefit from and can lead to a reinvigoration of the game in Scotland.

“A positive change, as proposed, will greatly increase the chances of creating an improved financially secure Scottish league structure that is supportive and progressive and allows every club to realise its own ambitions within a vibrant sporting and commercial environment.”

The next SPL general meeting is on 12 April, when any changes could be discussed – including the possibility of a 14-team top-tier.

Overall BUCS Standings 8th Nottingham 9th Edinburgh 10th Newcastle

1751.5 1751 1468

Edinburgh BUCS Points 1st Swimming 2nd Fencing 3rd Hockey 4th Squash 5th Table Tennis 6th Basketball

238 147 131 127 116 114

Sat 24th March Result G'gow Cali 1st 42-14 Edinburgh 4th (Women's Netball) Fri 21st March Results Edinburgh 1st 13-4 Aberdeen 1st (Men's Lacrosse) Edinburgh 1st 25-15 Manchester 1st (Women's Rugby Union)

ALEX BURGESS

EUSU

TALENTED EDINBURGH student and international table tennis player Craig Howieson is representing Scotland at the World Team Championships in Germany this week.

Howieson, who also competed at the Delhi 2010 Commonwealth Games, will line up alongside Olympic hopeful Gavin Rumgay and promising youngster Sean Doherty in the Dortmund tournament, which began on Sunday.

The Scots are rank outsiders to progress from a second division group including Brazil, Italy, Iran, Holland and Bosnia-Herzegovina – but Physical Education student Howieson is ready for the challenge.

“We had our best finish for a long time at the last Team Championships two years ago,” said the 22 year old.

“We know it will be tough, but we feel we have a strong team.

“It will be a big ask for us to stay in the division – Brazil and Italy are favourites for promotion and Iran have a really strong young team which has caused some major upsets.

“We might be the underdogs, but if we can get results against the Netherlands and Bosnia-Herzegovina then you never know.

“We will certainly have a go and