The Student 30/10/2012

Tuesday October 30 2012 | Week 7

S I N C E 1887

T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER

Activists disrupt Israeli ambassador lecture Alex Shaw and Priyal Kanabar

A LECTURE at the University of Edinburgh given by Daniel Taub, the Israeli Ambassador to the United Kingdom, was severely disrupted by pro-Palestinian protesters on Wednesday evening.

The event was held at the Medical School, Teviot Place, amidst demonstrations outside the building organised by Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) and We Are All Hana Shalabi, which drew a heavy police presence.

Taub had planned to give a scheduled lecture entitled “Between the Past and the Future: The Challenges and Responsibilities of Negotiating Peace”, describing his experiences in the Israeli-Palestinian peace process and his role as Principle Deputy Legal Advisor of Israel’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

Strict security measures were in place. Attendance to the event was limited to around 150 members of select societies. Members of the Politics and International Relations Society and Model United Nations, who co-hosted the event with several other student societies, were not told the location of the lecture until the day before it was scheduled. Students attending were informed that they may be subject to searches prior to entry.

Several EUSA representatives had previously expressed concerns in an open letter to the University of Edinburgh about the visit of Taub.

Despite measures, 13 protesters managed to gain entry to the lecture.

After Taub was introduced by Professor Aspinwall, a protestor unfurled a Palestinian flag and called for the end of the ‘siege of Gaza’. He was joined in chanting by other protestors hidden amongst the audience, preventing the ambassador from speaking.

The protest follows previous demonstrations at the University of Edinburgh by SJP, who claimed responsibility for the events, against British

Airspace Engineering’s presence at the university’s careers fair and the visit of Ishmael Khaldi, a senior aide in the Israeli foreign ministry.

Professor Mark Aspinwall, co-head of the Politics and International Relations subject group, reported that the university had limited the audience to several societies as a response to the visit of Khaldi, in which SJP and Scottish Palestine Solidarity Campaign protesters brought proceedings to a halt.

Protesters frequently interrupted proceedings, accusing Taub of being the “mouthpiece of a disgusting, rogue racist state” and a “defender of war crimes”. One member of the audience called the event “bulls**t” and told Taub to “f*** off ” before leaving.

Several members of the audience tried to reason with protesters during the lecture, including Professor Aspinwall.

“I’m sorry if you think that we have stepped on your rights,” a protester said to the audience, “but this pales in comparison to the experience of Palestinians every day.”

Some members of the audience were visibly upset with the proceedings, with several members leaving the lecture altogether.

After 20 minutes of intermittent chanting from protesters, the ambassador was given a microphone and tried to continue his lecture. Audience members still in attendance attempted to move closer to Taub so that they could hear him speak, with several members sitting on the floor and on stairs.

Some members of the audience attempted to ask the ambassador questions despite the chants of protesters.

Speaking to The Student, EUSA Welfare Rep Tommer Spence said, “What those protesters did was attack the ambassador’s right to free speech and that is never right in any context. Yes they were exercising their own right to free speech, but that never allows them to suppress somebody else’s.”

Addressing the protesters, Taub said,

PUBLIC PROTEST: Demonstrators gathered outside the Medical School “One day you will be asked what you did for the peace. You are putting it off.

“

A small minority of students... created a situtation in which the ability of others to voice their own opinions was made extremely difficult."

Professor Mark Aspinwall, Politics and International Relations dept.

“This type of protest destroys dialogue, pushes people away. This is no respect for academic freedom.”

Taub remained in the lecture theatre for the entirety of his allotted time.

Protesters were not asked to leave the venue by security staff, leaving at their own discretion following the departure

of the ambassador.

The presidents of both PolSoc and the Model United Nations apologised to the audience after Taub’s departure, thanking members of the audience who had stayed.

“The UN is an organisation based on the principles of reason and debate... we do not think this type of protest is constructive,” said Sid Madan, president of the Model UN. A similar view was echoed by Professor Aspinwall in an email sent to all Social and Political Science students on Thursday, saying, “A small minority of students committed to silencing voices from the Israeli government created a situation in which the ability of others to voice their own opinions was made extremely difficult.

“Fellow students - some with critical views of Israeli policy - were simply unable to say what they had to say.”

In an open letter to Aspinwall, Pete Ramand, EUSA Black and Ethnic Minorities Convenor, disagreed with the

professor's attempts to intervene in the protest.

He said, "It was not an exercise in free speech and open debate. It was an orchestrated attempt to legitimise the Israeli narrative while giving no space for Palestinians to present their views.

“This is not the sort of discourse befitting an academic in a social science department. It is the sort of drivel I expect to read in tabloid newspapers.”

A spokesperson for the University of Edinburgh told The Student, “The University attaches great importance to freedom of speech as long as points of view are put across in a safe and lawful way.

“It is unfortunate that this event did not provide the opportunity for the constructive exchange of ideas and opinions.”

Continued on page three» Perspectives on the ambasssador's visit Comment P9

Postgraduate Open Day

11am-4pm: Friday, 9 November 2012 To register for the event go to: www.glasgow.ac.uk/pgopenday The University of Glasgow, charity number SC004401

For further details about postgraduate study opportunities go to: ww.glasgow.ac.uk/postgraduate

CHRISTINE RADCLIFFE

Demonstrations in Medical School prevent ambassador from speaking as Students for Justice in Palestine claim victory for pro-Palestinian cause

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

NEWS »p1-6

Breakfast in bedinburgh? p 6

Ethan DeWitt how the Edinburgh City Council spent £1.2 million on a list of puns, with hilarious results for us (the council weren’t so pleased.

REASONABLE DEBATE p 7

DSL!!! Sorry, Dan Scott Lintott argues that faith should have no place in what should be a purely scientific debate

FEATURES »p12-14 CAN WE HAVE COFFEE AND ALCOHOL? p14

In her last week as editor of Features, Nina Bicket looks at the changing trends of student socialising

EDITORIAL »p11

CHANGE NECESSARY p11

Alasdair and Leo constructively say what they think could be better about the mirky world of student politics

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT » p17-19 GETTING TO THE EDGE OF SPACE p19

Alex Harston gazes out at Voyager 1 as it breaks free of the solar system

CULTURE »p21-23

WATER WATER EVERYWHERE p23

Becca Howard shares a unique piece of art entitled Four Waterfalls

FILM »p26-27 SKYFAAAAAAAAAL p26 The Student staff talk the best of Bond

SPORT »p31-32

RACISM IS BAD p31

Phil Smith discusses the importance of tackling racism in football

RUBBISH: The local council now collects landfill fortnightly to encourage residents to recycle

Fortnightly refuse collection stirs tensions in northern Edinburgh

Sibylla Archdale Kalid

TWO COMMUNITY groups in the North Edinburgh area are planning to dump their bin bags outside the North Neighbourhood Office to demand a return to weekly rubbish collection.

Over one hundred members of Tenants and Residents in Pilton (TRIP), and the recently founded Tenants and Residents in Muirhouse (TRIM), will deposit their waste outside the council office in West Pilton Gardens at 9.30am on Monday October 29.

The upset stems from a recent decision on the part of the local council to make rubbish collection fortnightly as opposed to weekly, in an attempt to reduce waste and encourage the use of recycling bins. However, according to TRIP, this has resulted in ‘chaos’, with the non-delivery of recycling boxes causing bins to overflow.

A spokesperson for the community groups said, “We have told the Council that they need to sort this situation out. However, the Council is not listening to residents’ concerns so we are forced to take further action.”

The groups have been rallying support for the protest by distributing flyers to the residents worst affected by the change. A list composed by the groups named West Pilton Green, Ferry Road Place and Muirhouse Park as some of the areas worst hit by the new collection times.

Environment Convener Lesley Hinds, of The City of Edinburgh Council, described the changes to bin collection as a “key part” of the council’s new “ambitious” recycling and waste disposal targets. She said that, “The aim of fortnightly household waste collections is to encourage people to use the recycling services available and reduce the amount of rubbish we’re sending to landfill. In Muirhouse and Pilton, recycling advisers have been down twice in the last few months to speak to residents and will continue to do so in the coming months.

“After discussion with the local community we are looking to put in more recycling points in this area in an effort to encourage more recycling.

Ultimately, however, people must take responsibility for the amount of waste they produce.” She conceded that there have been “teething problems”, but that “we are now on the right track to meet our targets”.

TRIP Secretary Jon Black disagrees, however. “The council has had weeks to sort this situation out, but they have mismanaged it from the beginning.

“Every week bins are overflowing, and the situation is getting worse, not

KIRSTEEN GARDEN

COMMENT »p7-9

better. We are demanding that the council reintroduce weekly collections until people have received their recycling bins, and recycling rates are improved. We want the council to clear up all the rubbish that has been missed in our area.”

The current disturbance follows earlier tension when bin men were ordered by the council to put excess rubbish left out by residents back into the bins, to be picked up in the next fortnightly collection, in a move branded “crazy” and “stupid”. Those who continued to leave out excess could expect to be visited by an enforcement team, and then face a fine of up to £50.

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a spokesperson for SJP defended their respective positions.

Pedro Silva Rocha Lima, president of PolSoc, told The Student that the society was contacted by the ambassador's office in London and asked to host the event, not the other way around as has been widely claimed.

Further to this, security was requested by the university and considered necessary in the assessment of the police, given the profile of the speaker. This included the restricted invitation policy of the talk, though PolSoc “would have preferred it to be an open event”.

“

Any university student could have registered for the event."

Pedro Silva Rocha Lima, PolSoc president

PolSoc agreed to any restrictive measures because of the society's belief that “refusing to host the Ambassador would have been a political statement in itself ”, and that hosting the talk would prove “beneficial for political debate within the university, and, even though the event was restricted to members of certain societies, there is no discrimination at all in who we accept as members, anyone is free to join, so we believed that a degree of diversity in political views would have been preserved”.

The president of PolSoc further

clarified that, “although the invitation was sent only to society members, any university student could have registered for the event online”.

Pedro Silva Rocha Lima then condemned the behavior of SJP, stating that they did nothing to constructively further debate, caused distress among some students in the audience with Israeli or Jewish backgrounds, and “only succeeded in doing the exact opposite of what their goal was - at the end of the night, if anything, the audience was only more sympathetic towards the lecturer and opposed to the protesters”.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for SJP defended their actions on Wednesday.

“Freedom of speech is something to be proud of, to be certain... It is not, however, as so many ululating voices would have it, the right for a paid-up representative of an Apartheid state to be allowed to propagate his nation’s propaganda programme under the guise of a 'dialogue', unchallenged.”

The spokesperson continued, “If this were Apartheid South Africa, would we all be equally happy inviting an ambassador, state-endorsed for the endorsement of his state, to defend an inherently and systematically racist system?”

The SJP spokesperson went on to criticise the closed, invitation-only nature of the event, concluding, “The basis of this segregational state, its ever-increasingly unthinkable military actions and its bare faced violations of international law should, in any sensible forum, render anybody in its employ and complicit to its actions persona non grata on any campus I want to be associated with.”

PROTEST: Demonstrators chant slogans outside Teviot Place

POLICE: Some protesters were surprised at the large police presence

LEO MICHELMORE

Continued from page one The Student spoke to protesters and police outside the talk on Wednesday.

Some protesters expressed surprise at the high police presence at the demonstration.

A constable from the Lothian and Borders police stated that the police were present for public safety and the numbers were due to it being a high profile case. He further commented that in his experience demonstrations at the university are well organised and safe.

However, Olivia Massey and Lyndsay Forbes, student demonstrators from the Free Tibet Society, commented, “It is intimidating to have such a high police presence on campus, and unnecessary for a peaceful protest.”

Speaking to The Student, Liam O’Hare, president of Students for Justice in Palestine, commented that aside from the unacceptable nature of the event, the methods used against possible protest were highly inappropriate and led to anxiety about possible racial and political profiling of certain students.

Student activists were joined by the Scottish Palestine Solidarity Campaign and the Demonstrate in Harmony activist groups, as well as individual pro-Palestine activists.

Early this week, beginning 29th October, students will present a petition to Mark Aspinwall urging him to retract and apologise for his condemnation of the demonstrators.

In statements sent to The Student after the events of Wednesday, the president of Edinburgh University Politics and International Relations Society (PolSoc) and

LEO MICHELMORE

Controversy as Israeli ambassador comes to Edinburgh

UK postgraduate education failing Marchmont ablaze national economy

A REPORT released by the Higher Education Commission warns that a serious imbalance between domestic and international postgraduate students poses a grave danger to social mobility and the UK’s future competitiveness in the high-skill jobs market.

The UK faces a “perfect storm” of conditions damaging to retention of international postgraduate students, including a government pledge to reduce immigration to “tens of thousands a year”. Toughened visa regulations now represent a significant barrier to foreign students staying in the UK once they have completed their qualifications. The report calls for students to be exempted from immigration numbers altogether.

The Higher Education Commission criticises a culture among UK universities of recruiting foreign students because they pay significantly higher fees than their UK counterparts. The report further warns that this trend risks turning the UK into the “education outsourcing capital of the world”.

According to the report, the only other countries in the wider European area which educate so few domestic postgraduates are Andorra and Kazakhstan.

The sector’s dependence on international students is highlighted in figures on growth in student numbers. According to the study, foreign postgraduate students at UK institutions have increased by 200 per cent since 1999. UK postgraduate students at UK universities are up only 18 per cent over the same period.

“

We can't compete with countries like China and India on numbers, but we can compete, and win, on ideas and innovation. " Graham Spittle, chief technology officer of IBM “We can’t compete with countries like China and India on numbers, but we can compete, and win, on ideas and innovation. The postgraduate sector needs to be brought in from the cold and hardwired into the UK’s strategy for economic growth,” said Graham Spittle, chair of the group behind the report and the chief technology officer of IBM, who received an MA in Geography from the University of Edinburgh.

Without changes to how UK postgraduate courses are funded, the report warns, the university sector will be forced to continue its reliance on revenue from international students, and domestic applicants will continue to face the discouraging task of securing non-state-backed loans from banks to pay for their degrees.

There is an added concern that after 2015, the year when the first undergraduates paying £9,000 will graduate, there will be a deficit of students willing to invest more in their education.

Sir Peter Lampl, chairman of the Sutton Trust, an organisation that aims to improve educational opportunities for underprivileged young people and increase social mobility, said, “It is vital that our brightest graduates are not priced out of postgraduate study. This is why the Sutton Trust has commissioned a new study on social mobility, which includes looking at access to postgraduate courses.

“We must make the most of all our talents, and that is no less important in postgraduate studies which are now dominated by overseas students.”

Alistair Grant POLICE AND fire services were called out to a flat on Marchmont Crescent on Monday 22nd October following reports of a fire in a top floor flat.

Residents were evacuated from the building just before 2 pm. The cause of the fire is not yet known; however, the incident is not currently being treated as suspicious by authorities.

Pedestrians and onlookers watched as the fire was promptly controlled and extinguished by emergency services.

The Student understands that the top floor flat, situated in the heart of Marchmont, a popular student area of the city, suffered substantial damage from the blaze.

A spokesperson for Lothian and Borders Police told The Student, “Lothian and Borders Police responded to an address in Marchmont Crescent at around 2 pm on Monday 22nd October following reports of a fire.

“A number of residents within the flat block were evacuated while the fire service tackled the flames. However, no one was injured.

“Enquiries are ongoing into the circumstances surrounding this incident.”

ALISTAIR GRANT

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Supporting Students and Changing Lives

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Rona Broadhead

SIX NOMINEES have been announced for “The Best of the Best of the James Tait Black Prizes”, a special award for the best novel to have won the prize since it began in 1919. The James Tait Black prize is the oldest literary award in Britain and is judged by both academics and postgraduate students, making it unique in the UK. The six books that have been nominated are Nights at the Circus by Angela Carter; The Heart of the Matter

by Graham Greene; A Disaffection by James Kelman; The Road by Cormac McCarthy, Crossing the River by Caryl Phillips; and The Mandlebaum Gate by Muriel Spark.

“

The particular reason to incorporate a James Tait Black element of the celebrations is to recognise the wonderful contribution the prize has made for 90 years."

Randall Stevenson, professor of twentieth century literature The retrospective award has been created as part of celebrations marking 250 years of English Literature

study at the University of Edinburgh.

Randall Stevenson, professor of twentieth century literature, explained to The Student, “The particular reason to incorporate a James Tait Black element in the celebrations is to recognise the wonderful contribution the prize has made, for over 90 years, to honouring great literature; to extending and enjoying the canon of great works; and to the whole profile of literature in the university and in the city generally.”

The English Literature department endeavoured to involve every part of the university community and held an open nomination process where any staff or student member could nominate a past winner for the “best of ” award. An initial list of 14 books was created and these books were then subject to two debate evenings where a secret ballot was used to decide the final shortlist of six. Daniel Davies, last year’s Literature society president and host of one of the debates told The Student, “The debates were great, as we had a mixture between students and members of the English Literature staff advocating books. Sometimes it is easy to forget there is a basic tie which unites students and lecturers, namely that we all love books, and these events were able to demonstrate this.

“They gave students a chance to participate in deciding a very modest, but still important, part of literary history. I cannot think of anywhere else in Britain (or even the world) where this could have taken place.”

Literary shortlists inevitably pro-

Seventh floor welcomed at George Square Central Library

Sam Bradley

BEWILDERED LIBRARIANS have reported the discovery of a new floor in the George Square Central Library, after students stumbled across the previously unknown area last week.

The seventh floor of the library was discovered on Thursday by three University of Edinburgh students who were attempting to find unreserved copies of their course textbooks.

James Heriot, one of the students who found the new floor, told The Student, “We basically all left it to the last minute to write our essays and all the books we needed were taken out, so we decided to wander around at random.

We didn’t realise we’d gone up a level until we saw the cobwebs.”

Heriot and his co-discoverers Robert Stevenson and Joanna Rowling, all third-year English Literature students, were confused by the reading material they found on the seventh floor. Rowling said, “It was all stuff we’d never heard of – there were books about chirolinguisitcs, psychohistory and historical reanimatronics.”

“It was like an anti-library”, she added.

Stevenson was less impressed by the new floor. He told The Student, “It was quite useless really. There were cobwebs and skeletons of things that looked like they could have once been mammals, but

not a single copy of Gulliver’s Travels”.

The university has now opened the seventh floor up for use by students, but did not release a statement saying so, instead adding to the signs around the library. It is not yet known how many students have decided to take advantage of the new space, though the lack of power sockets may have deterred the library’s many laptop users.

However, Heriot said that the library staff were initially suspicious of the authenticity of the find, and discouraged the students from publicising their discovery. “They wanted us to leave it alone, and forget what we had seen. It’s all very suspicious.”

When asked for comment, library staff refused to say whether they had known about the seventh floor or not.

Stevenson said, “There’s something not right about this, that’s for sure. We definitely weren’t alone up there – we saw footprints in the dust, leading to the centre of the room.”

“I felt like someone was watching us the entire time. And a noise, like heavy breathing.”

A spokesperson for the University of Edinburgh declined to comment.

Sam Bradley has been booted out of his position as News Editor of The Student and has been forced to start writing for the Edinburgh Evening News on a regular basis. Don’t trust a single word he says.

WELL THUMBED: The University of Edinburgh is celebrating 250 years of English literature study voke debate and comment in the media and this one is no exception. Davies said, “I’ve been very amused to see some of the reaction in the press to our decisions as there seems to be an underlying whiff of conspiracy which thinks we doctored this shortlist to reflect our own ‘PC friendly’ ideologies,

at the cost of such luminaries as E.M. Forster, Rushdie, D.H. Lawrence etc.

Obviously this is total nonsense: our decisions were based on the strength of the advocacy and the robust debates we held.”

A panel of writers and renowned alumni of the university have been cho-

sen to select the winning book from the shortlist. Judges include novelists Alan Warner, Alice Thomson and James Robertson; playwrights Lucy Kirkwood and Ella Hickson and the broadcaster Kirsty Wark. The winner of the award will be announced at a ceremony in London on the December 6.

MOYAN BRENN

University honours best of the books

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Results of independence consultation published Rhia Lyon

AN ANALYSIS of the public consultation on the Scottish independence referendum was published by the Scottish Government last Tuesday.

The consultation, which ran from 5 January to 11 May 2012, asked the public their views on details of the pending referendum, including what spending limits should be set, what the ballot paper should say and how the referendum should be managed and consulted.

The Scottish government’s analysis of the consultation found that a total of 30,219 responses were received. 23,569 were submitted through the Scottish Government’s online response form and the remaining 6,650 were received by email, post or through the Scottish Labour and Scottish National Party

websites. All responses were independently verified.

An analysis of these comments on the wording of the question and design of the ballot paper indicated that 64 per cent broadly agreed with the proposed wording of the question and 28 per cent did not; the remainder had unclear or mixed views.

Many respondents also suggested a change to the question, such as, “Do you agree that Scotland should be a fully [or totally] independent country?”

In terms of the timetabling of the referendum, an analysis of the comments indicated that 62 per cent broadly agreed with holding the referendum in Autumn 2014 and 36 per cent did not. 32 per cent of respondents were broadly in favour of including a second question in the referendum and 62 per cent were not.

On the issue of Saturday voting, 46 per cent broadly agreed with holding the referendum on a Saturday and 32 per cent did not. 56 per cent broadly agreed with the proposal to extend the voting age to 16 and 17 year olds, although 41 per cent disagreed.

The two governments have agreed how these factors will be considered.

In terms of the wording of the question, it has been agreed that, “the referendum question must be fair, easy to understand and capable of producing a result that is accepted and commands confidence.” According to the document, the wording of the question “will be set out in the Referendum Bill to be introduced by the Scottish Government, subject to the Electoral Commission’s review process”.

The features of the consultation have been agreed by both the UK and Scottish governments on a non-statu-

tory basis. The consultation has led to the ‘Edinburgh Agreement’, which states that the referendum will be legal, fair and decisive.

It also states that, “The United Kingdom Government and the Scottish Government have agreed to work together to ensure that a referendum on Scottish independence can take place.” Both governments have agreed that the referendum should “be legislated for by the Scottish Parliament, should […] be conducted so as to command the confidence of parliaments, governments and people and deliver a fair test and a decisive expression of the views of people in Scotland and a result that everyone will respect”.

Holyrood is now able to hold the legally binding referendum through a Section 30 order, which was formally laid by both governments at the Scottish government headquarters on 22

October.

The legislation will decide the date of the referendum, the franchise, the wording of the question and rules on campaign finance and the conduct of the referendum.

Commenting on the referendum, Alex Salmond said, “The people who live in Scotland are the best people to make decisions about Scotland’s future. The referendum will be held in autumn 2014 on the same terms as any Scottish election, to the same standards and with the same guarantee of fairness.”

David Cameron and Alex Salmond met in Edinburgh on 15 October to sign the ‘Edinburgh Agreement’; a legally binding deal which agrees to hold a single question referendum in autumn 2014.

the pool of talent from which students are drawn.”

Milburn claims too much money is being spent on reduced tuition fees and bursaries, stating that there is little evidence they work. He adds that universities should target money at schools because GCSE and A Level results are the two biggest barriers to higher education.

“Many of the universities are doing a lot but they need to do more. When you look at who gets into university, the pool of talent is currently limited because of three gaps: between private and state schools, better off students and worse off ones, and between kids who study key subjects and those who don’t,” Milburn said.

“If access to university is to be genuinely classless, there needs to be progress in closing each of those gaps. Government policy clearly has a key role to play, but so do universities. Over the last ten years, they have spent hundreds of millions of pounds on outreach activities,

widening participation. By 2015, that spending will be over £600m a year. It is crucial that this money is spent so that it delivers as much of a social impact as possible, and this isn’t the case at present.”

city academy school.

Dr. Wendy Piatt, director general of the Russel Group, said in reply to Milburn’s proposals, “We recognise that poorer students are not as well represented as their middle class peers.

“But there is no simple solution to this complex problem and offering financial incentives to take students from disadvantaged backgrounds fails to address the root cause of the problem and may have unintended consequences.”

Furthermore, she added, “It is problematic to expect universities to take responsibility for replacing the Educational Maintenance Allowance.”

Critics of the proposals have complained that the unequal consideration of applicants will cause middle class students to lose out to students with lower grades.

But Milburn maintains that all evidence indicate that more has to be done to recruit from across the socioeconomic groups.

Poor uni applicants should get “automatic interview” Mathias Helseth

“

FORMER CABINET Minister Alan Milburn has proposed to offer automatic university interviews to poorer applicants, in addition to more financial grants and lower A Level offers.

The former MP, who served as Secretary of State for Health between 1999 and 2003, is leading the new independent Social Mobility and Child Poverty commission.

The report, “University Challenge”, comes as a reaction to the controversial abolition of the Educational Maintenance Allowance, a weekly payment of £30 for students who come from households with incomes less than £20,817 a year. Milburn calls for universities to take responsibility for replacing it.

He said, “No university can exempt itself from playing a part in expanding

No university can exempt itself from playing a part in expanding the pool of talent from which students are drawn."

Ethan DeWitt

burgh”.

Alan Milburn, former cabinet minister Many universities already offer lower entry requirements for students from disadvantaged backgrounds, but Milburn wants to see a more streamlined system by 2014.

He also wants the government to give extra funding to institutions for every place given to students from poor backgrounds.

“

It is crucial that this money is spent so that it delivers as much of a social impact as possible, and this isn't the case at present."

Alan Milburn, former cabinet minister Milburn also suggests that top institutions should offer foundation degree opportunities with lower admissions entry for students from poorer areas. He also wants these institutions to sponsor a

Council embarrassment at advertiser antics AN EDINBURGH marketing company tasked with improving the brand image of the capital has drawn the ire of local politicians, after deciding to proceed with a controversial advertising campaign theme.

The campaign was formally unveiled last Tuesday by Marketing Edinburgh before an audience of local business owners and city councillors. Entitled ‘Winter in Edinburgh’, its aim was to improve the city’s image as a destination for visitors and tourists during the holiday season.

However, the announced campaign included a slogan theme that had previously been broadly rejected by the City Council, which provides Marketing Edinburgh’s £1.2 million annual budget.

The disputed slogans revolve around word play with the city name, with puns such as “winter is ahedinburgh”, “shop here instedinburgh”, “paint the town redinburgh” and “romance isn’t dedin-

“

We were not very pleased to see that these slogans were formally part of the presentation of the campaign [...] We had insisted that they drop these tags, and they had agreed that they would."

Steve Cardownie, City Council deputy leader Also included in the announcement was the release of a TV ad by an awardwinning animation company featuring a “street rap” by a local band that makes heavy use of similar puns. “Winter in Edinburgh, breakfast in bedinburgh, stick a battered hat on a snowman’s

hedinburgh,” the singer jubilantly raps, as images play of cartoon lobsters shopping on George Street and the Scott Monument morphing into a rocket.

The Council was not amused.

“We were not very pleased to see that these slogans were formally part of the presentation of the campaign,” Steve Cardownie, deputy leader of the City Council and chief critic of the campaign told The Student. “We had insisted that they drop these tags, and they had agreed that they would.”

The wordplay campaign had first been proposed to Cardownie and other senior councillors in August, under the overarching title ‘Incredinburgh’.

At the time, the Council rejected the frivolous jargon and demanded the company return to the drawing board, or at the very least employ market research on the quirky approach.

“At that time, we were most concerned with the slogans. We just didn’t think it would work.” Cardownie explained to The Student.

Several weeks after the contentious initial meeting was adjourned, the

reprimanded company asked for another meeting in front of the Council.

Expecting a complete upheaval, the Council agreed to hear the proposals.

“

This campaign is a fun and imaginative way of promoting Edinburgh."

Lucy Bird, chief executive of Marketing Edinburgh

But the second round of proposals appeared to be nothing more than a reinvention of the first. Exasperation ensued. Cardownie walked out.

Now, in light of the company’s abject defiance of the Council’s objections in the announcement last week, the political backlash has reached a fever pitch.

Along with the vocal objections of Cardownie, sources inside the Council have opined that the fiasco spells disaster for the future of the company, with one reportedly describing the campaign as

“a very long suicide note” on the part of Marketing Edinburgh.

For its part, the company has defended the campaign and the actions it has taken.

“This campaign is a fun and imaginative way of promoting Edinburgh”, chief executive Lucy Bird maintained.

Bird has insisted that the campaign has the support of local hotel and business owners and has vowed to continue to market test the campaign.

Amid the political chaos, the Council’s next move is unclear. While some insiders have raised the spectre of complete defunding, others, including Councillor Cardownie, have advocated for a more cautious approach for now.

“I think what we’re looking for now is a period of calm to let matters die down a wee bit, and then we’ll evaluate the situation,” he told The Student.

That’s not to say repercussions are not forthcoming.

“Any objective commentator would expect there to be a full inquiry into how we got where we are,” he added.

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Comment 7 #EdUni

Great Britain banks on a stable Europe

Jon Vrushi explores the new European Single Supervisory Body and the odds of a possible British relationship with it

THE FINANCIAL crisis showed that banks are so interconnected that it is close to impossible to regulate them individually. The so-called macro-prudential approach to regulation has become a need, following the global credit crisis.

Last week, the leaders of the European Union agreed in principle on a Single Supervisory Body, which will regulate some 6,000 banks in 17 different countries.

This will give the European Stability Mechanism the opportunity to more effectively bail out banks in need, without burdening one single country. The aim of this Single Supervisory Mechanism (SSM) is to prevent banking risks and cross-border contagion from emerging.

The decision taken does not represent a breakthrough in any way. This is but a small, undefined step towards a banking union. The shape of this Single Supervisory Mechanism is still very much open for discussion. In an open letter, the European Systemic Risk Board, chaired

by Mario Draghi, stated that the SSM should be defined around the principles of flexibility, scope to act early and effectively and efficient coordination between member states.

To the UK politicians this presents

a serious dilemma. The eurosceptical rhetoric employed by spineless, populist parties such as the UKIP has polarised British politics to the extent that the Conservatives are acting very carefully in order not to lose more votes to the UKIP. In a bid to appease the euroscpetics within and outwith the party, Cameron and other tory frontbenchers such as Hague are trying to capitalise upon this euroscepticsim by isolating the UK from Europe.These short term, morally fraudulent political decisions may have dangerous long term implications with regards to the British financial market safety and soundness, as well as Britain’s role within the EU. In a document recently released by the Bank of England, “Our approach to banking regulation”, the first factor listed under reason for regulatory failure seems to be the fact that UK regulators trusted the Basel II capital requirements to be properly calibrated. This document sets the tone for another isolationist approach, following the rejection of the Compact Fiscal treaty ten months ago.

Last Tuesday, in Berlin, the British foreign secretary, Hague, stated that the UK would not be part of a European Banking Union. He stated that sometimes

“less [European Integration] is more, less is better”.

At this very same conference, the Finnish minister for Europe, Alex Stubb, very frankly and amicably cried, “William, please, join the banking union, don’t sit on the fence – we need you.” He added that his country and Germany value Britain’s approach to a more market friendly economy rather than the French interventionist ethos and the lack of fiscal discipline in the Southern states.

“I think if the UK is marginalized or it marginalizes itself, it will be bad for the UK and it will be bad for the European Union,” he concluded.

Stabb was right; Britain can’t isolate itself from the European Union especially when the matter at hand is a more comprehensive and rigorous banking union. The framework of the SSM and the banking union is still at a seminal stage and legislators from all Member States are encouraged to contribute to the debate which will shape the SSM by the beginning of next year. The UK has the chance to make this EU-wide legislation more market friendly, in turn imposing its influence which stems from the size of its financial market. The UK needs to engage in the debate as it needs

Europe as much as Europe needs the British values and tradition of a marketorientated economy.

“

The UK needs to engage in the debate as it needs Europe as much as Europe needs the British values and tradition of a marketorientated economy."

British politicians continue to complain about Spain’s deep troubles and how it is not the UKs responsibility to solve another countries’ problems. However, when it comes to the financial market, things are much more interlinked. You would have all seen that our local bank in Potterrow is Santander. Some of you may know that Santander is a Spanish bank, upon which the Bank of England has no supervisory or regulatory authority. Across the UK there are thousands like that Santander branch in Potterrow.

A foreign bank going bankrupt, leaving UK savers unprotected, is not an un-

known scenario. You may all remember how the Icelandic bank Icesave folded a few years ago leaving 400,000 British and Dutch clients exposed. The amount of money lost by British savers in the process was close to £4 billion. Now, this is by no means the UK’s fault; however, by being part of a banking union and an active player in the supervision of European Systematically Important Financial Institutions, the UK does not hand sovereignty to the EU. On the contrary, it empowers its own regulatory mechanisms in order to prevent problems of an exogenous nature.

In the 21st century our banks are more interlinked than what we may think or possibly imagine. Before the crisis, even executive directors and major shareholders were oblivious of the extent of interconnections between banks, let alone regulators and even less so ordinary clients. The main lesson, therefore, seems to be that national regulatory bodies are simply not effective anymore, given the international scope of banks.

The principles of the SSM, flexibility, scope to act and coordination between member states can only benefit the United Kingdom and the safety of its financial market.

France in denial over same-sex IVF

Charlotte Ryan condemns the French government’s decision to delay laws allowing homosexual couples to access IVF treatment aging many from considering IVF as an option. However, the treatment remains so popular that there is still not enough IVF to go round. Many feel that gay couples and single people are less eligible and should therefore lose out. From the perspective of heterosexual couples so desperate to conceive, this viewpoint is understandable. However, in reality, very few of the couples currently receiving IVF in the UK are same sex couples.

“

Many feel that gay couples and single people are less eligible and should therefore lose out" Often this concern with ‘funding’ and ‘fairness’ is actually being used to hide a greater concern, as is the case with France’s reaction to the proposed law.

The religious and conservative groups speaking out against this change in the law are careful not to do so by openly critiquing homosexuality, and therefore cloak their prejudices in concerns about ‘attacks on the traditional family unit’ and the ‘welfare’ of the children born as a

result of this IVF treatment. While these are legitimate concerns, they are tainted by an underlying dishonesty when they are promoted by a group whose attitude towards homosexuality is already wellknown. Prejudice remains ubiquitous in our society, with concerns ranging from fear that the child will inevitably turn out gay, to the notion that two gay men are obviously more likely to be paedophiles.

Hollande’s government’s decision is merely ceding to those prejudices.

As for the ‘attacks on the traditional family unit’ so many perceive, does such an institution even still exist? Single parents, divorced parents, teen parents, even Kourtney Kardashian, are all deemed fit to bring up children, so why shouldn’t gay couples be? It is true that this issue differs slightly from the gay adoption issue, in that these are not children who have already been brought into the world and who will undoubtedly be much happier with any parents than in a foster home.

This is instead a conscious decision to bring children into the world by two people who would not naturally be able to do so, and many therefore speak of it being ‘against nature.’ But this seems to be a criticism more appropriately levelled at IVF in general, as the whole process is arguably ‘unnatural.’ Yes, it is true that

a gay couple cannot naturally conceive, but neither can a barren one, and the issue of whether science should be permitted to intervene in either of these cases is an entirely separate subject.

Many gay couples in France remain

hopeful that sometime in the future medically assisted conception will be a possibility for them. Let’s hope that, for the sake of equality and actually practising these unprejudiced values we always preach about, they are right.

TRISTEL

AFTER A backlash among conservatives and religious leaders following a proposal to allow gay couples to be eligible for IVF, France have decided to delay this proposal which they had originally planned to be in place by next year. The socialist government won a lot of support before the election by promising to reform rights for LGBTs and many now feel Hollande has betrayed this promise. LGBT campaigners such as Catherine Michaud, head of the GayLib LGBT movement associated with the Conservative party, feel that it would be hypocritical to introduce equal rights to marriage without also including equal parenting rights. But the fact remains that despite all of the progress being made in equality in areas such as gay marriage and the right to adopt, people still get squeamish about the idea of two gay parents bringing their own child into the world. Why? Firstly, there is the question of funding. The very same debate is raging here in the UK, centred around the fact that due to Labour reforms IVF eligibility has now been extended to older women, same sex couples and single women.

France’s healthcare system differs from the UK’s in that people have to pay for treatment upfront, presumably discour-

IVF TREATMENT: Not available for same-sex couples in France

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8 Comment #EdUni

A democratic prison break James Taylor analyses how votes for prisoners affects attitudes towards rehabilition in Britain's jails

Scientists imprisoned for failing to moonlight as psychics LAST WEEK, the Italians of the medieval town of L’Aquila have legitimately gone crazy.

Three and a half years after the L’Aquila earthquake in 2009, an Italian court convicted seven scientists and experts for the death of 300 people as a result of the earthquake and deemed it manslaughter. They have been sentenced to six years in prison.

It seems pretty ridiculous that a group of highly trained intellectuals have been deemed as murderers for an earthquake that was difficult to predict.

Yes, the risks commission (which all seven scientists and experts where members of ) did wrongly predict that the earthquake was not going to occur and did not issue a safety warning as a result, however it is difficult to simply blame the scientists for these deaths.

Part of the reason why there were so many deaths was due to the poor and old infrastructure of the town of L’Aquila. Even today, much of the town, including its architecturally rich center, remains in the dismal state that it was left in after the 2009 earthquake.

The civil lawyer of the case who represented the relatives of more than a dozen victims, Fabio Alessandroni, suggested the need for “a culture of prevention” in Italy, considering that earthquakes and seismic shakes are particularly common in the country.

Other countries prone to such earthquakes, namely Japan, have buildings and technology that are able to sustain against and predict earthquakes of magnitudes of 6.3 (the magnitude of the L’Aquila earthquake).

For example, the 9.8 magnitude earthquake in March 2011 in Japan that resulted in a tragic tsunami and subsequent nuclear disaster shook Tokyo with little damage to the infrastructure.

If Italy had the technology to determine the approximate magnitude of earthquakes, such a court case and a decision probably would not have resulted.

But the more important question is whether we should be convicting scientists for mistakenly predicting natural disasters: how would they know that such an earthquake would result in so many deaths? It's lucky for bankers that these same principles are not applied to the world of investment banking.

For now, the families of victims in the small town of L’Aquila are given a small amount of relief. Meanwhile the science community continue to correctly react in anger to these convictions.

Lisa Kobayashi

AN OPPORTUNITY for David Cameron to look the big man against Europe to his backbenchers recently emerged, this time in rejecting votes for prisoners, considered a part of international human rights law. Pressure from the European Council of Human Rights and the UK’s attorney general were not enough to sway Cameron as he firmly said at Wednesday’s PMQs, “No one should be under any doubt – prisoners are not getting the vote under this government.” This was to quell rumours earlier in the week that he might capitulate, and to let backbench Tories know that he’s not too soft on offenders.

Apparently, shortly following this rejection, the attorney general’s advice became that of how Britain can go about not changing the status-quo and still comply, without getting into trouble with international law. This seems like the equivalent in international law to distinguishing between ‘tax evasion’ and ‘tax avoidance’. Cameron naturally argues for Parliament’s sovereignty, though it is not like the cross party vote against in the Commons doesn’t carry any weight. In fact it carries all the weight. The problem is that Britain has a habit of getting involved in defending human rights all over the world, all the while declaring itself as a fine example.

This hypocrisy can’t continue if it’s being taken to court in Europe over such an issue. Therefore this frames the debate as one not only about how

Britain as a society handles its internal offenders, but also about how Britain is perceived by the outside world.

It seems entrenched in many British minds that going to prison is for punishment, rights should be curtailed, reduced, withheld, and voting is one of these rights. That’s been the way for 140 years now. Surely we ought to have moved on from that; prison is no longer just about punishment and confinement. Now isn’t the emphasis more on rehabilitation? It almost seemed that Cameron was trying to come out with this earlier in the week, just the backbenchers wrapped around his neck made this impossible to say. Instead he delivered something in between

punishment and rehabilitation; gentle enough not to upset anyone, but not so soft as to be considered a ‘hoodie-hugger’.

Giving the vote to our prisoners means they re-enter society feeling less excluded, having been given a place among the electorate. It’s not as though they haven’t had other rights taken away, they have had their liberty substantially reduced and keeping the right to vote surely can have only a positive effect on their lives, something that is not considered often enough. Let’s resocialise offenders as full participants in a free and open democratic society. Perhaps by doing this chances of reoffending could be reduced and who knows,

IMAGE PROBLEMS: David Cameron's government is not a big favourite

maybe costs could come down.

But who would they vote for and how would they be canvassed? That’s an issue for many. Would politicians tailor their policies to law breakers at the expense of everyone else? Most likely not, as the approximately 80,000 prisoners equates to little more than the size of a large constituency. Scattered about the UK, the influence cannot be as problematic as sceptics would have us believe. If it were to be influential, it would be proportionally so and rightly so. Parliament governs over everyone in the UK, and most explicitly so over those that break the law, so the idea of giving a vote to them doesn’t seem too appalling. Offenders probably have more of an insight into the law and its workings than most voters, and given their direct experience of the law ought to feel a part of the system which has punished them.

Cameron speaks about a ‘big society’ and the importance of rehabilitation to modern justice, yet he, like too many in Britain, can’t remove himself from an outdated, exclusive mindset. Maybe he should consider stopping offenders being outsiders of his ‘big society’ by including them in the democratic process. It is time that this country caught up, and saw that prisoners are very much with us inside our society, that they are intimately involved with our law, and ought to be able to partake in deciding who our law makers are.

Faith: not a cause for con-CERN

Dan Scott Lintott argues that theology and faith have no rightful place in purely scientific debate Dan will debate with anyone in a public forum at short notice and welcomes rebuttal from all challengers in 140 characters on Twitter @danscottl #EdUni

LAST WEEK Cern, the European Organisation for Nuclear Research, held a three day conference between some of Europe’s most renowned scientists and a few groups of people whose understanding of particle physics is probably dubious at best; namely theologians and philosophers. The event was held in the wake of the discovery of the Higgs Boson particle at the Large Hadron Collider, which brings us closer to a complete understanding of the universe. The institute brought these groups together in a search for common ground between science and religion on how the universe began. The organiser of the event, Dr Wilton, said he was optimistic that “scientists, theologians and philosophers alike might gain fresh insights from each other’s disciplines”.

As the fog surrounding the beginning of the universe has become less and less hazy through scientific discoveries, there have been significant implications for the realms of reason and faith more broadly.

Firstly, it is crucial to distinguish reason and faith as diametric opposites in this discussion. Reason, including the scientific method, is the adaptation of belief in light of observation; faith is the denial of observation in order to preserve belief. This distinction is important, as it should clearly highlight the differences between

science and religion, particularly in understanding the universe. Religion comes to the table with a presupposed knowledge, that God created the universe. However science and reason assume nothing and are able to change their theory of the start of the universe, considering new evidence constantly.

The latter method seems to be the only constructive method in understanding the beginnings of everything we know and the discoveries at Cern.

“

The problem with the faith-based approach is that God seems to be just 'filling the gaps' of our understanding."

The problem with the faith-based approach is that God seems to be just ‘filling the gaps’ of our understanding.

Aside from there not being any empirical evidence for God or a divine creator, any faith-based believer seems to just posit God when in doubt. So given that we still cannot say with certainty, although we are close, how the universe began, the faith side would place God as the almighty first mover that set the universe in motion. They have no reason for believing this other than their

‘faith’ in God, which seems to be just ungrounded assertion. It is strange that faith could be allowed as a justification for belief in God, as there is no other belief that one could reasonably justify with this same argument. What else could you believe in good conscience with the explanation, “I just have faith”?

“

An appeal to God seems to actually raise more questions than it answers."

A related problem with the use of faith in understanding the world is that any explanation that appeals to God appears completely superfluous to our scientific understanding. By saying God caused the Big Bang, for example, one would firstly have to subscribe to the existence of some non-physical type of being that is completely contrary to our understanding of the world at the moment. More importantly, an appeal to God seems to actually raise more questions than it originally answers: “what is God?”, “where is God?”, “what caused God?” The explanatory value of a divine being is then undermined, as it actually causes more problems than it solves. It is not useful in clarifying the

beginning of the universe.

The main problem with bringing a theologian into a scientific debate is that any faith-based believer already has a view to impose on the facts. Science is a balance between data and theory, using observation to test and devise hypotheses. What’s the point of having a debate if one side already claims to ‘know’ the answer and will never be willing to change that? Reason and science are adaptable and use the discoveries at Cern to refine the theory of the universe. In order to have ‘faith’ one must claim to know, not just theorise, everything about the start of the universe. Whether or not you believe that scientific discoveries make it increasingly difficult to hold a religious belief, faith seems to hinder the progress of knowledge by its very nature.

“

It is crucial to distinguish reason and faith as diametric opposites in this discussion."

As Bertrand Russell reminds us, “Never let yourself be diverted by what you wish to believe, but look only and solely at what are the facts.”

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Comment 9 #EdUni

Debate: Israeli ambassador in Edinburgh Scott Dickson argues that in interrupting Ambassador Taub anti-Israeli protestors were out of line ANOTHER YEAR, another protest during a speech by an Israeli ambassador. However, whilst protestors at least had the decency to remain quiet during Ron Proser’s speech, this courtesy was not granted to Daniel Taub on Wednesday night. Not content with registering their disapproval outside the event, protesters sought to interrupt to the point where rational discussion was no longer possible. This should be unacceptable to people of all political persuasions, and is more about free speech than whether Israelis or Palestinians are in the right.

Regardless, this does not deflect from the seemingly disproportionate and extreme treatment Israel receives. Only a few days before, Sir Sherard CowperCowles, the former UK ambassador to Afghanistan, delivered a talk which passed without notice. However, if you used the warped logic of the activists present on Wednesday, you could conceivably argue that he had represented a neo-conservative state waging a bloody and brutal war in a foreign country, and did not deserve a platform. Not that it would then make it acceptable to interrupt a speech of his, but it does

go to show the degree to which Israel is singled out.

“

It is perhaps worth considering how Jewish or Israeli students may feel after witnessing such vitriolic protests."

The debate which has occurred on social media following the event highlights the polarised and seemingly irreconcilable views on this subject which are held by the student community. Some messages are encouraging, particularly from those who were not pro-Israeli in any way, but chose to go to the talk regardless. Ultimately, this is at the core of the issue – the right of students to go to an event, regardless of their own political prejudices; to have their views challenged, and likewise challenge the views of those delivering the speech.

According to reports, Taub had indicated at the beginning that he would welcome any questions, even from critics. Why could this not suffice for those

who purportedly stand for Palestinian rights? Is it not possible that this would be a far more democratic and respectful way to convey the strength of feeling that exists on this issue?

The arguments put forth by Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) are familiar ones: Israel is a racist, apartheid state, that Taub’s presence on campus is ‘threatening’ to students from an Arab or Palestinian background, and that Taub’s views are “abhorrent and dangerous”. Having never met Taub, I cannot possibly say whether his views are as described. However, only a quick glance at what he has said in the past would illustrate how utterly fatuous this view is.

An article he penned in The Times only last year describes his visit with a Palestinian counterpart to Northern Ireland, to witness how peace and reconciliation have worked there and the importance of dialogue with the Palestinians.

There are undoubtedly many unpleasant strands in Israeli politics, characterised by right wing ideologues such as those perpetuated by Avigdor Lieberman. Taub’s views don’t seem close to them. The accusation of his

presence being ‘threatening’ is quashed by the fact he had to “flee by car” due to protesting students, as claimed by the SJP press release. It is perhaps worth considering how Jewish or Israeli students may feel after witnessing such vitriolic protests.

Ultimately, Wednesday’s events have not brought anyone closer to resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. And simple equivocations of “Israel=Apartheid,” do not represent the nuanced nature of the problem, or the fact that both sides have committed great misdeeds in the past and presently.

It is unfortunate that the opportunity to hear the Israeli ambassador speak was disrupted in such a way, and many have commented that these events merely harden hearts, rather than win over minds.

If Taub’s views are as reprehensible as claimed, there is all the more reason to let him speak. As Rosa Luxemberg said, freedom of speech is meaningless unless we hear from those whom we disagree with, even those we hold in contempt. Surely that is something we can all agree on.

YASMIN MORGAN-GRIFFITHS

M. M

IT ALL started off so well, just like Celtic against Barcelona. But even with the release of the UK’s favourable Q3 data, the FTSE’s decline, hastened by disappointing earnings reports all week, marched on.

Unlike their civic compatriots based in Celtic Park, Glasgow-based British engineering giant Weir Group topped the charts this week by being the biggest winner on a percentage basis in the FTSE 100 when it grew 3.11 per cent.

The world’s largest producer of the world’s coolest metal, those being Anglo American PLC and platinum respectively, posted gains of 3.04 per cent following the resignation of Chairwoman Cynthia Carroll, who had come to odds with major shareholders over the firm’s decline in value in recent months.

The top of the downwards charts featured a rare cameo from the UK’s powerful pharmaceutical sector, Shire PLC, as investors punished the firm for beginning a share buyback program.

As with every week, if you lost money this week, whoopsy! If you made money, buy me a pint!

Eva O'Connor condems the university’s decision to invite the ambassador to speak on campus MOST STUDENTS, regardless of whether they are politically interested, will have heard about the controversial visit of Daniel Taub, the Israeli ambassador to the UK, to the University of Edinburgh last week.

He was invited to speak at a talk open to only a few select societies: politics society, Jewish society and Middle Eastern society. Considering Israel’s controversial politics, particularly concerning Palestine, the university predicted trouble. The talk was announced just a few days in advance, and the location was kept a secret until hours before the ambassador was due to speak.

As Taub arrived in Edinburgh he was met with a large demonstration outside Teviot Place lecture theatre headed by Students for Justice in Palestine. There was a large police presence of over 100 officers. Inside, the ambassador was interrupted minutes into his speech by 13 angry protesters who heckled him.

There has since been intense controversy surrounding the events. Many feel that members of Students for Justice in Palestine interrupting such a high profile speaker reflected badly on University of Edinburgh. A university

is, in theory, a space where issues can be openly debated and academic and political freedom prevails. Was Taub simply a victim of a rowdy gang of anti-extremists, or were the protesters simply exercising their right to freedom of speech?

We are fortunate enough to live in a society where the term “freedom of speech” is highly valued and staunchly defended. But we must consider whether the upholding of this sacred freedom of speech is at the expense of others.

Speech is a powerful weapon and as such it must be handled with care. We must protect ourselves and society from its misuse and encourage its positive and responsible use as a tool for change for the bettering of all. By allowing the Israeli ambassador to speak and offering him an exclusive platform to promote Israel, the University of Edinburgh has not acted to uphold the best interests of the majority. In fact, it is to the detriment of our university’s reputation, and it constitutes a disservice to the persecuted Palestinian people.

As an Israeli ambassador, Daniel Taub serves as a mouthpiece which promotes a falsely positive view of a nation guilty

of war crimes. Denying him airtime is not a sad day for freedom of speech; it is a courageous act of solidarity on the part of concerned students.

“

Boycotting Israel, and by default the Israeli ambassador to the UK, is the only feasible way to achieve justice in Palestine."

Dialogue has failed to provide the Palestinian people with a solution, who are continually denied freedom of speech, freedom of movement and basic human rights. Boycotting Israel, and by default the Israeli ambassador to the UK, is the only feasible way to achieve justice in Palestine. Of course open debate on Middle Eastern politics is necessary and desirable. But a onesided speech delivered by the Israeli ambassador, in the presence of just a few handpicked societies is not the kind of event University of Edinburgh should host.

THENONCONFORMER

#EdUni Tweets

Mark Aspinwall, the head of the Politics and International Relations department and chairman of the event, apologised to the ambassador for the disruption and has since circulated an email condemning the actions of the protesting students. But contrary to what Aspinwall may believe, it is not regrettable that the Israeli ambassador was interrupted just minutes into his talk. What is truly regrettable is that politically engaged students showing solidarity for the persecuted people of Palestine are condemned for their activism.

The Israeli ambassador described the interruption of his talk as “very sad”. Perhaps he is confused about what constitutes a sad situation. I suggest he starts paying real attention to the reality of the lives of Palestinian people and then compare it to his experience of being heckled during a private talk. Then he should reconsider his definition of sad. In the meantime, our student body should be proud to show solidarity with the Palestinian people, and send a clear message that we will not roll out a red carpet for powerful political figures with questionable politics.

The Top 3 Tweets of the Week

#EdUni Outside of a building there are many people in scarves, shouting things. I believe it's about Israel. But it may be abut 'his whale' #EdUni - @SILLYCIVILIAN Guy next to me in the library has spent three hours on iplayer watching old episodes of pointless. Ironically. #eduni #daywellspent - @leomichelmore Class on 9th floor DHT. Broken lifts. More exercise than I needed in my life. #EdUni - @H_Bettsworth Get tweeting to #EdUni! #EdUni Tweets Join the Conversation

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10 Comment #EdUni

A clash of ideas to define a generation

IDEOLOGY IN America is a funny thing. All Americans believe in the ideas that form the morals and the principles of their political institutions; embedded in their constitution and the bill of rights are the notions of liberty, equality, freedom and majoritarian rule. However, on the issue of how best to practise these ideals, Americans, and in particular their parties, are divided.

It was strange then, that in the third presidential debate at Lynn University in Florida, Mitt Romney courted the mainstream, agreeing with every substantive position of President Obama’s.

Unbound by the neo-conservative ideology that has deep roots in the Republican party, Romney came off cool, pragmatic and unnervingly presidential.

However, Romney’s domestic vision of America is in extreme contrast to that of the Democrats. This vision will dramatically cut taxes, abolish the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) and roll back social security. If elected, Romney will push an agenda that will significantly decrease the role of government in the national life.

The president and the Republican nominee have wildly different views on how America should move forward.

How can it be then, that in an election that has been representative of the left,

the right, and the void in the middle, Romney has managed to find common ground on foreign policy? One possible explanation may lie in the lessons learnt from the Bush legacy.

President George W. Bush left the White House in 2008 as the second most unpopular president ever. America had grown tired of the wars being waged on their behalf in the Middle East. Launched under false premises, the Iraq war cost a trillion American dollars and around 4500 American lives. The Republican president, with broad support within his party, went aimlessly into the Afghanistan war – a war that still lingers today. I think it would be fair to say that, with the moderation Romney displayed in the third debate, the Republican elite have learnt their lesson.

So why has the political fallout from the Bush era – whose presidency saw the largest economic collapse since the Great Depression – not translated into a more moderate domestic agenda?

Why, in fact, have the Republican leaders become more entrenched in their ultra-conservative vision of an economically prosperous America?

Perhaps, it is because Obama has taken most of the fall for America’s economic collapse, leaving the Republican Party relatively unscathed – after

ABC NEWS

Tom Grant wades through the pot bellied rhetoric of the US election campaign to uncover the divisive ideological battlelines

WIND-BLOWING: Obama and Romney are struggling to define their unique ideological positions all, the financial crash was a result of three decades driven by neo-liberal motivated ideology from both Republicans and Democrats. Maybe, and more pertinently, it highlights the trouble with ideology: beliefs and morals often outweigh rationality.

Undoubtedly, if Barack Obama is elected for a second term there will be a shift in norms. A second term will give him time to cement his policies as he follows up legislative measures, elects supportive appointments to federal agencies and courts, and has the chance

to veto any appeal on his policies. An elected Romney, on the other hand, will see the GOP’s political agenda justified, sustaining it for years to come.

What would the Republican vision look like under Mitt Romney? It is hard to know exactly what Romney believes in or what he stands for. So far his candidacy has trumpeted his past successes in private equity and his ability to balance a budget. He was, no doubt, good at this; he is approximately worth a quarter of a million dollars. However, a political ideology based on the values

of efficiency and profitability is limited.

Romney’s vision rewards winners and punishes losers and a democracy cannot simply abandon people, leaving them by the wayside.

Ideology in America is a funny thing. united under one flag, they are divided almost down the middle by their morals and principles. On November 6, the country will either decide to continue on the path that it has been struggling along for the past four years, or to instead follow the road that led them to crisis in the first place.

Just droning on and on about nothing

DRONES HAVE been used in the Middle East for almost 10 years, but under the Obama administration their rates have dramatically increased. They are unmanned aircraft primarily used for surveillance and intelligence operated by pilots based in Nevada and, of course, carry a good half tonne of weaponry, just in case.

The UK has just announced plans to double their fleet of drones and set up their base in Waddington, Lincolnshire for their pilots to operate from. But it is improbable that this would significantly change any moral or political dimensions to the conflict.

Why is this newsworthy? We’ve been bombing the Middle East for years, what difference does the fact that they are unmanned make? Advances in science always brings about an ethical debate about what to do with what we have learned - take cloning as an example. Most people have fairly straightforward opinions, however drones seem to confuse people and most don’t quite know what to make of them.

The advantages of having drones over manned aircraft are that it’s cheaper and the pilot is at no risk whatsoever.

The disadvantages are that they are not as good at distinguishing targets from non-hostiles on the ground.

This means that mistakes are more common and even more innocent people die needlessly – around 3,000 people have been killed in drone strikes including Abu Yahya al-Libi, al-Qaida’s second in command at the

VOICE OF KARACHI

John Ferns examines exactly what the UK’s drone surge and the wider use of unmanned efforts means for the war on terror

DRONES: The advantages of unmanned aircraft do not outweigh the disadvantages of innocent lives lost time, 176 children and several hundred civilians. Some reports even claim that perhaps only one in 50 people killed are even terrorists at all.

But most importantly, the people on the ground are constantly aware of the drones’ presence. It inspires a culture of fear among the indigenous population.

Reading interviews of people in North Warzistan (in Pakistan), they see drones as the evil eyes of the west staring into

them but they also know of the destructive capabilities these drones possess.

The deployment of these weapons intensifies these people’s hatreds for the west, especially those who know the innocent bystanders who are regularly in their crosshairs. Even some people who fought against the terrorists have been victims of drone attacks.

These grievances are what have driven Noor Khan to apply to the Pakistani

and British courts to accuse the United States and United Kingdom of war crimes. He is awaiting a judge’s decision as to whether or not the CIA have a case to answer, if he feels that they do, they will, at least in theory, be arrested

by Interpol and tried in Pakistan. In another case, Mr Akbar and the families of civilian victims of drone attacks are seeking a ruling that further strikes in Pakistani airspace should be viewed

as “acts of war”. Imran Khan, former cricketer and presidential candidate in Pakistan has pledged to back Noor Khan in his quest for justice and vows to shoot down drones on sight.

Joe Klein, a democrat, recently supported drones on national television by saying that “the bottom line is, whose 4 year old gets killed? What we’re doing is limiting the possibility that 4 year olds here will get killed by indiscriminate acts of terror.” The irony that drones are also indiscriminate acts of terror seems to be lost on him.

Osama Bin Laden also said something quite similar: “Unjustly terrorising people is not right, whereas terrorising oppressors and criminals and thieves and robbers is necessary for the safety of people and for the protection of their property”. Bin Laden and Klein seem to have a lot in common, other than the side whose violence they are attempting to justifying.

It is an interesting state of affairs in America regarding drones. The generally more right wing, jingoistic Republicans are the camp calling for the use of drones to be reconsidered – is it all a vote winner, or is Obama hungry for the blood of innocent muslims in the Middle East?

Ultimately both sides are guilty of terrible crimes, and of creating more fear, more terror. Drones won’t solve anything that fighter jets won’t in the long run, nor do they change anything significant about the conflict.

Tuesday October 30 2012

Send your letters to: editors@studentnewspaper.org

studentnewspaper.org

Editorial 11 The editors of The Student question the relevance of student politics THIS WEEK we reach the end of our editorial term at The Student. We’ve had a fantastic time and would like to thank our 30 section editors, committee and 163 members (as of Sunday night) for all their hard work over the last eight weeks. From next week, current Features editor Nina Bickett and Comment editor Daniel Swain will be taking over as Editors.

This week we’re going to discuss something we’ve grown to feel strongly about in our time as editors and news editors before that. We’ve been writing about EUSA in The Student for over a year and in this time, we have increasingly seen a disconnect between the organisation and the students they claim to represent.

As an organisation, EUSA does a lot really well and they often don’t receive enough credit for it. The Big Cheese has a consistent and loyal following, at weekends drinks at EUSA bars are some of the cheapest in Edinburgh, there is a fantastic support system for societies organised by the association and the organisation has had some big wins in the past; there are streetlights in the Meadows and a subsidised bus for vets studying at the new Easter Bush campus thanks to EUSA campaigns.

However, many, if not most, students have come to see EUSA as disconnected from the student body,

molded and controlled by a small group of students. To the average student with a passing interest in student politics, EUSA comes across as being closed and insular, plagued by internal wranglings over how it should function. Instead of using the platform they have been given to figure out how to make a real improvement in the lives of Edinburgh students, the Sabbatical officers in particular are perceived as emphasising their own views on the national politics of the moment. Whilst this may be an unfair judgement, this is undeniably the image EUSA currently holds on campus.

Structurally, EUSA should be a deeply democratic organisation. There are almost 100 elected representatives as well as two student-led referendums each academic year to put potential EUSA policies to the student body. The major problem is that participation in elections and referendums remains very low. To use the recent referendum as an example, of the six questions posed, not one received the 1,500 votes needed to become an official part of EUSA policy.

It is easy to put this down to voter apathy, easy to say that students just aren’t that interested in how their students’ association is run. But it’s more than that; EUSA comes across as a closed shop, as a large, neither by the general student body nor for them.

The same can be said about the handling of the suspension of Max Crema, EUSA vice-president services. Max was suspended from his position on full pay in early July but, despite several requests, it was not until September that any kind of explanation was given as to why he was suspended and even longer before any indication was given regarding when he would be returning to work. Max is an elected official and the reason he was unable to fulfil his role for the months he was suspended should have been made public. There was no clarity from EUSA over what had happened and what would happen.

If our elected representative isn’t in his position representing us then, as the electorate, we deserve to know all the facts, delivered through open channels.

There is a lot that can, and must be done to encourage greater involvement from students. Taking advantage of low voter turnout to table irrelevant referendum questions has to stop. The continuous, insular wrangling over EUSA’s internal politics has to stop.

The focus must return to the issues that affect Edinburgh students. Of course the broader issues of national politics are important, but they should never be the main focus.

Alasdair and Leo

Join us!

The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators and photographers to join us. We’re also hunting for recruits for our marketing and events teams.

If you’re interested, here’s how to track us down: » In person: Meetings every Tuesday in the Teviot Debating Hall at 1.15pm editors@studentnewspaper.org www.facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper www.twitter.com/TheStudentPaper

Some more reasons to join The Student...

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A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887 as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest student newspaper and is an independent publication, reaching more than 10,000 University of Edinburgh students every week.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the early 1970s, Gordon Brown worked as a news editor and diary columnist, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer Sometimes we do other things...

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Similarly, comment articles represent the views of their writers and not The Student.

Editors Alasdair Drennan & Leo Michelmore

News Sam Bradley, Alistair Grant & Thurston Smalley Comment Stephen Maughan, Yasmin Morgan-Griffiths, Charlotte Ryan & Daniel Swain Features Nina Bicket, Cameron Taylor & Francesca Mitchell Lifestyle Katherine Nugent & Marissa Trew Science & Environment Nina Seale & Katy Sheen Tech Alasdair MacLeod Crosswords John Wakely Culture Madeleine Ash, Troy Holmes & Lene Korseberg Music Emmett Cruddas, Stuart Iversen & Geraint Lloyd Ellis Film Dan Scott Lintott & Sally Pugh TV Hannah Clapham-Clark Sport Piers Barber, Davie Heaton & Phil Smith Head of illustration Jalen Vasquez Photo editor Elizabeth Doucette Commission Sarah Burch Production editors Christopher Sladdin & Ben Shmulevitch

Head copy editor Melissa Geere Copy editors Charlotte Wagenaar & Elinor Smith Advertising Rachel Barkey, Matt McDonald, Kirsten Weir Distribution James Wood Marketing Dan Scott Lintott Social Media Kelly Meulenberg President Anna Feintuck Secretary Rebecca O'Doherty Treasurer Katy Sheen Social Secretary Daniel Swain

Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © The Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by RJM Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed

by Print and Digital Associates, 01332 896525, on Monday September 10 2012. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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12 Features

US Election 2012

Features gives you an essential guide to this year’s presidential race in the United States between the incumbent, Barack Obama, and his challenger, Mitt Romney BELIEVE IT or not, four years have passed since the last US election, and here we are again. On Tuesday 6th November, citizens of the United States will participate in the 57th quadrennial presidential election, and the result will inevitably impact not only upon them, but also on the wider world. Alarming as it may seem to acknowledge, here in the UK, our fate does at least partly rest in their hands.

The elections campaigns have long been underway, with the two key candidates making headlines on a daily basis. President Obama, running for his second and final term in office, is pitted against Republican candidate and former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney in what is proving to be a neck and neck race for the White House.

The President cast his vote early on Thursday 25th October in his hometown of Chicago as part of the Democrat campaign’s broader effort to encourage voters to go to the polls early. An estimated 7.2 million people are thought to have already cast early ballots, and it is predicted that 35 per cent of the electorate will do so before the official day of the election.

Headlines to date have shown the controversial aspects of the 2012 election campaigns, with key points of contention relating to the economy, healthcare, gay marriage laws and abortion. The latter in particular has sparked heated debate since 23rd October, following extremely controversial comments on rape cases from Romney’s fellow Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock.

Whatever your opinions of Romney and Obama, their campaigns, policies or parties, in all likelihood one of these men is soon to be elected to possibly the most elevated position of power in the world - except, of course, in the highly unlikely event that one of the lesserknown candidates (Libertarian Gary Johnson, Green Jill Stein, Constitution Party Virgil Goode, or Justice Party Rocky Anderson) should pull together sufficient votes to win the election.

For this reason, The Student is here to provide you with an overview of the imminent election, how it will affect America, and the indirect impact of the American electorate on the world at large.

How it works: the US electoral system

In 48 of the 50 states and the District of Colombia (which is treated as a state for the purposes of this process) the electoral votes are then distributed on a winner-takes-all basis; that is to say, if one candidate gets even one per cent more votes than the other in Florida, they receive all 29 electoral votes and the other candidate receives none.

Only two states, Maine and Nebraska, take a different approach.

They utilise a system of proportional representation whereby the candidates will receive a portion of the available electoral votes representative to the percentage of electors they won, rather than the winning candidate simply receiving all of the electors, regardless of the other candidate’s result.

The Electoral College system has come under criticism in the past by those who have called it undemocratic. It is true that the process could lead to the confusing situation where, if a candidate

has specific regional appeal in states with a large number of electoral votes but is unpopular elsewhere, the candidate could still win the election despite losing the nationwide popular vote.

Elections often come down to who wins the votes in a few valuable states, and can lead to candidates focusing their attention on just a few of these key states rather than attempting to appeal to the country at large.

Equally, however, the system has a large number of supporters who point to traditionalism and its role in forcing candidates to focus on less populous states which they might otherwise ignore.

Whatever its advantages and disadvantages, the Electoral College system is here to stay and knowing how it works is crucial in understanding not only the outcome of the election, but also the way in which the candidates choose to campaign.

Nina Bicket

states in Indiana and North Carolina, and if that happens again, Obama is in for a clear win. The whole point of swing states though is that change is possible, and expected.

Florida is always the most dramatic and famous of the swing states, and its varied demographics mean that candidates have to juggle a range of issues in order to win its 29 electoral seats. Ohio is also important with its 18 seats, and its legacy of picking the President in the last 12 elections means that Romney may even give up hope if Obama successfully takes the state again. Virginia, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nevada and New Hampshire all hold relatively small numbers of Electoral College votes in relation to the 538 available, but still play a prevalent role as swing states - winning or losing them could mean success or defeat, or

worse a tie.

If Obama lost Florida, Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia he’d still hold enough votes to win as long as all Democrat-leaning states remained in support of him. Romney is still very much in the running, even with his initial disadvantage. Nevada, which has the nation’s highest unemployment rate is up for Republican grasp, as are Colorado, Iowa, North Carolina and Ohio. If he takes the East coast in Florida, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia he will hold a 2-point electoral victory.

The swing states are where Obama and Romney will be placing all their efforts running into the last days of the campaign, and it is within these states that the race will be decided.

Lauren Heraty

THE UNITED States of America uses the institution known as the Electoral College to elect a President and VicePresident, a process that is considerably more complex than a straightforward nationwide popular vote.

Essentially, the system works by each state having a set number of electors, determined by the number of congressional representatives it has (each member of the House of Representatives is worth one, and each Senator two).

Citizens of the state then vote for electors who are pledged to a certain candidate. This means that some states (such as Wyoming and South Dakota with three each) can have a comparatively low number of electoral votes, while others (such as Texas with 38 and California with 55) have a higher number.

Small margins: the role of swing states

ALSO KNOWN as ‘battleground states’, swing states have no single candidate or party that gains overwhelming support in securing that state’s Electoral College votes. Therefore a narrow band of states and voters become the target of both the Democrats' and the Republicans' vast resources as each party strives to gain the keys to the White House.

Presently, with the accumulative votes of Democrat leaning states, Obama is at 255, which is going to make it difficult for Romney to win if he doesn’t win the major battleground states. In 2008, Obama captured all of the toss-up states and two other Republican-leaning

Quotes:

Meet the Par t ies The Democratic Party Founded: Ideology: Like:

Dislike: Support base:

The Republican Party

1828 Liberal Big government, social security, liberal social policy Republicans Ethnic minorities, young voters, coastal cities

Founded: Ideology: Like:

Dislike: Support base:

1854 Conservative Small government, national defence, literal reading of the constitution Democrats Whites, Deep South, the wealthy

“As president, I will create 12 million new jobs.”

(45 minutes later) “Government does not create jobs. Government does not create jobs.”

—Mitt Romney "We’re selling goods around the world stamped with three proud words: Made in the USA" — President Obama

DONKEYHOTEY

Francesca Mitchell

Meet the Candidates Barack Hussein Obama II

Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney

Supports:

Supports:

Born: Experience:

Achievements: Achievements

August 4, 1961 President of the United States and former Senator for Illinois State Social welfare, government spending, health care reform Nobel Peace Laureate, twotime Grammy Award winner

The big issue: the US economy THE CANDIDATES disagree greatly about the US economy, a disagreement which encapsulates important principles about their respective parties.

President Obama essentially wants to carry on with the plan for the economy he has implemented over the last four years. At the core of this, and at the core of the Democratic Party, is an emphasis on financial help from the government to revitalise the economy.

This was evident in Obama’s approval of the American Recover and Reinvestment Act of 2009; a massive $787 billion stimulus package in tax breaks, infrastructure and direct assistance to individuals. Obama wants to carry on using government money to help the economy; the question is, has the past four years shown that his approach is a failed experiment, or are the difficulties he has faced a result and a fault of the legacy of his predecessor?

In a stark contrast to Obama, Romney envisages a totally different approach, which again rests on the funda-

Born: Experience:

Achievements: Achievements

March 12, 1947 Governor of Massachusetts; venture capitalist worth around $200 million Reduced government spending, balancing the budget, cutting taxes President and CEO of 2002 Winter Olympics

mentals of his party. The Republicans favour a small government with low government spending, alongside lower taxation; an embodiment of the less intrusive government they aim for.

His thinking is summed up in his five point plan: energy independence, the skills to succeed, trade that works for America, cut the deficit, and champion small business. He wants to do this by reducing taxes for everybody across the board, but closing tax loopholes that allow wealthy individuals, like Governor Romney, to avoid paying some of their tax bill. Romney also wants to help the ‘squeezed middle class’ by creating more jobs and giving them more take home pay. The question is whether Romney’s figures add up and whether he will be able to fund his projects after slashing the treasury’s tax income.

The unemployment rate is at 7.8 per cent and the economy has become the most important issue in the 2012 election.

The choice for the American people is which of the candidates and their plans do they believe will produce the best results for America’s fortunes.

Cameron Taylor

Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper features@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Features 13

US Election 2012

Features gives you an essential guide to this year’s presidential race in the United States between the incumbent, Barack Obama, and his challenger, Mitt Romney BELIEVE IT or not, four years have passed since the last US election, and here we are again. On Tuesday 6th November, citizens of the United States will participate in the 57th quadrennial presidential election, and the result will inevitably impact not only upon them, but also on the wider world. Alarming as it may seem to acknowledge, here in the UK, our fate does at least partly rest in their hands.

The elections campaigns have long been underway, with the two key candidates making headlines on a daily basis. President Obama, running for his second and final term in office, is pitted against Republican candidate and former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney in what is proving to be a neck and neck race for the White House.

The President cast his vote early on Thursday 25th October in his hometown of Chicago as part of the Democrat campaign’s broader effort to encourage voters to go to the polls early. An estimated 7.2 million people are thought to have already cast early ballots, and it is predicted that 35 per cent of the electorate will do so before the official day of the election.

Headlines to date have shown the controversial aspects of the 2012 election campaigns, with key points of contention relating to the economy, healthcare, gay marriage laws and abortion. The latter in particular has sparked heated debate since 23rd October, following extremely controversial comments on rape cases from Romney’s fellow Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock.

Whatever your opinions of Romney and Obama, their campaigns, policies or parties, in all likelihood one of these men is soon to be elected to possibly the most elevated position of power in the world - except, of course, in the highly unlikely event that one of the lesserknown candidates (Libertarian Gary Johnson, Green Jill Stein, Constitution Party Virgil Goode, or Justice Party Rocky Anderson) should pull together sufficient votes to win the election.

For this reason, The Student is here to provide you with an overview of the imminent election, how it will affect America, and the indirect impact of the American electorate on the world at large.

How it works: the US electoral system

In 48 of the 50 states and the District of Colombia (which is treated as a state for the purposes of this process) the electoral votes are then distributed on a winner-takes-all basis; that is to say, if one candidate gets even one per cent more votes than the other in Florida, they receive all 29 electoral votes and the other candidate receives none.

Only two states, Maine and Nebraska, take a different approach.

They utilise a system of proportional representation whereby the candidates will receive a portion of the available electoral votes representative to the percentage of electors they won, rather than the winning candidate simply receiving all of the electors, regardless of the other candidate’s result.

The Electoral College system has come under criticism in the past by those who have called it undemocratic. It is true that the process could lead to the confusing situation where, if a candidate

has specific regional appeal in states with a large number of electoral votes but is unpopular elsewhere, the candidate could still win the election despite losing the nationwide popular vote.

Elections often come down to who wins the votes in a few valuable states, and can lead to candidates focusing their attention on just a few of these key states rather than attempting to appeal to the country at large.

Equally, however, the system has a large number of supporters who point to traditionalism and its role in forcing candidates to focus on less populous states which they might otherwise ignore.

Whatever its advantages and disadvantages, the Electoral College system is here to stay and knowing how it works is crucial in understanding not only the outcome of the election, but also the way in which the candidates choose to campaign.

Nina Bicket

states in Indiana and North Carolina, and if that happens again, Obama is in for a clear win. The whole point of swing states though is that change is possible, and expected.

Florida is always the most dramatic and famous of the swing states, and its varied demographics mean that candidates have to juggle a range of issues in order to win its 29 electoral seats. Ohio is also important with its 18 seats, and its legacy of picking the President in the last 12 elections means that Romney may even give up hope if Obama successfully takes the state again. Virginia, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nevada and New Hampshire all hold relatively small numbers of Electoral College votes in relation to the 538 available, but still play a prevalent role as swing states - winning or losing them could mean success or defeat, or

worse a tie.

If Obama lost Florida, Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia he’d still hold enough votes to win as long as all Democrat-leaning states remained in support of him. Romney is still very much in the running, even with his initial disadvantage. Nevada, which has the nation’s highest unemployment rate is up for Republican grasp, as are Colorado, Iowa, North Carolina and Ohio. If he takes the East coast in Florida, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia he will hold a 2-point electoral victory.

The swing states are where Obama and Romney will be placing all their efforts running into the last days of the campaign, and it is within these states that the race will be decided.

Lauren Heraty

THE UNITED States of America uses the institution known as the Electoral College to elect a President and VicePresident, a process that is considerably more complex than a straightforward nationwide popular vote.

Essentially, the system works by each state having a set number of electors, determined by the number of congressional representatives it has (each member of the House of Representatives is worth one, and each Senator two).

Citizens of the state then vote for electors who are pledged to a certain candidate. This means that some states (such as Wyoming and South Dakota with three each) can have a comparatively low number of electoral votes, while others (such as Texas with 38 and California with 55) have a higher number.

Small margins: the role of swing states

ALSO KNOWN as ‘battleground states’, swing states have no single candidate or party that gains overwhelming support in securing that state’s Electoral College votes. Therefore a narrow band of states and voters become the target of both the Democrats' and the Republicans' vast resources as each party strives to gain the keys to the White House.

Presently, with the accumulative votes of Democrat leaning states, Obama is at 255, which is going to make it difficult for Romney to win if he doesn’t win the major battleground states. In 2008, Obama captured all of the toss-up states and two other Republican-leaning

Quotes:

Meet the Par t ies The Democratic Party Founded: Ideology: Like:

Dislike: Support base:

The Republican Party

1828 Liberal Big government, social security, liberal social policy Republicans Ethnic minorities, young voters, coastal cities

Founded: Ideology: Like:

Dislike: Support base:

1854 Conservative Small government, national defence, literal reading of the constitution Democrats Whites, Deep South, the wealthy

“As president, I will create 12 million new jobs.”

(45 minutes later) “Government does not create jobs. Government does not create jobs.”

—Mitt Romney "We’re selling goods around the world stamped with three proud words: Made in the USA" — President Obama

DONKEYHOTEY

Francesca Mitchell

Meet the Candidates Barack Hussein Obama II

Willard ‘Mitt’ Romney

Supports:

Supports:

Born: Experience:

Achievements: Achievements

August 4, 1961 President of the United States and former Senator for Illinois State Social welfare, government spending, health care reform Nobel Peace Laureate, twotime Grammy Award winner

The big issue: the US economy THE CANDIDATES disagree greatly about the US economy, a disagreement which encapsulates important principles about their respective parties.

President Obama essentially wants to carry on with the plan for the economy he has implemented over the last four years. At the core of this, and at the core of the Democratic Party, is an emphasis on financial help from the government to revitalise the economy.

This was evident in Obama’s approval of the American Recover and Reinvestment Act of 2009; a massive $787 billion stimulus package in tax breaks, infrastructure and direct assistance to individuals. Obama wants to carry on using government money to help the economy; the question is, has the past four years shown that his approach is a failed experiment, or are the difficulties he has faced a result and a fault of the legacy of his predecessor?

In a stark contrast to Obama, Romney envisages a totally different approach, which again rests on the funda-

Born: Experience:

Achievements: Achievements

March 12, 1947 Governor of Massachusetts; venture capitalist worth around $200 million Reduced government spending, balancing the budget, cutting taxes President and CEO of 2002 Winter Olympics

mentals of his party. The Republicans favour a small government with low government spending, alongside lower taxation; an embodiment of the less intrusive government they aim for.

His thinking is summed up in his five point plan: energy independence, the skills to succeed, trade that works for America, cut the deficit, and champion small business. He wants to do this by reducing taxes for everybody across the board, but closing tax loopholes that allow wealthy individuals, like Governor Romney, to avoid paying some of their tax bill. Romney also wants to help the ‘squeezed middle class’ by creating more jobs and giving them more take home pay. The question is whether Romney’s figures add up and whether he will be able to fund his projects after slashing the treasury’s tax income.

The unemployment rate is at 7.8 per cent and the economy has become the most important issue in the 2012 election.

The choice for the American people is which of the candidates and their plans do they believe will produce the best results for America’s fortunes.

Cameron Taylor

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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14 Features

Coffee or cocktails?

Nina Bicket looks at the student social scene and finds out whether or not it is changing to meet with friends. “My flatmates and I go out for tea all the time, even though we could just as easily drink some together at home,” says Lauren, an English Literature student. “Especially now that it’s getting colder and we don’t want to turn the heating on yet. For £1.50 each we can sit in a warm, comfortable environment for as long as we want.”

German student Jack adds, “Plus you can get some studying done before or after.”

And coffee shops aren’t just for meeting people you see all the time.

“If I wanted to hang out with friends I hadn’t seen for a while, yeah, I’d probably say, ‘let’s grab a coffee’ instead of organising a night out,” third year Rebecca says. “You don’t have to make such an effort, it’s not as expensive, and if you’re not enjoying it you can leave after one cup!”

“

Students are quick to name coffee shops as favourite places to study and socialise."

Cost is obviously a major factor. A night out can involve cover charges, often overpriced drinks, and the all-important end of night greasy takeout. For students on a budget, this often means cutting back on nights like these.

“We’re far more likely to have a flat party, or go to someone else’s,” agrees Lauren. “In first year there were a lot of pub crawls, nights out, but we all realised how quickly that drains your bank balance.”

“

Students have not entirely replaced diesels and Jaegerbombs with lattes and espressos."

But not all students feel this way. “I still go out loads,” Jack responds, “But my friends and I tend to pre-drink at one of our flats instead, and then we’ll only go to one place afterwards. We save money but still get to go out.”

Of course, it would be disingenuous to point out the opening of Potter Coffee and not mention Club Together’s launch at the start of the semester.

Clearly student interest is sufficient to rationalise the launch of a second EUSA club night, which suggests that students have not entirely replaced diesels and jaegerbombs with lattes and espressos quite yet. The free entry however, coupled with the budget mindset that some students seem to have about it (“It’s in a uni building,” Rebecca says, “so you feel like you’re being less extravagant than if you were going out

RATHER HAVE BOTH?: Do students prefer one, or do we just hate to choose? somewhere fancy”) still points to an underlying financial concern.

So students are tightening their belts even further, then, but it seems that we aren’t quite willing to eliminate

nights out from our budgets – not when there are ways of making them cheaper instead.

US ELECTION COVERAGE

Tuesday 6 November Join us in Teviot’s Sports Bar for star-spangled live election coverage until 3am.

Stateside food specials served until late.

MADISON GUY

BEING A student has always meant exercising financial caution, but these days, with tales of economic downturns ringing in our ears, student loans taking longer and longer to show up in our poor, abused bank accounts, and the prospect of entering a decidedly unimpressive job market looming in our notso-distant future, it seems we’re coming up with more and more creative ways of stretching our pennies.

Following the recent closure of a student union bar at Aberystwyth University, NUS Wales announced that there had been a significant rise in the number of coffee shops opening on campuses over the past few years.

The implication here is that students are transferring the bulk of their socialising from evenings spent drinking alcohol in clubs and bars, to afternoons in coffee shops and cafes sipping on tea and coffee.

But to what extent is this true of the general student population? Here at the University of Edinburgh we can definitely point to a steady rise in coffee shops opening both on campus – Potter Coffee, anyone? – and in the surrounding area, with recent ventures such as Brew Lab located just a few minutes walk from Bristo Square.

Students are quick to name coffee shops as favourite places to study and socialise, with those asked naming perennial favourites Black Medicine and Peter’s Yard as top choices for places

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

The daily meal deal dilemma James Wood and Mary McGuire give us the low-down on the best lunchtime bargains

Lunchtime – A constant dilemma.

Many students find themselves at a loss when it comes to satisfying that all-important midday hunger. We thought it a novel idea to check out what the local supermarkets had to offer; we’d had enough of reheated pasta from the night before.

The places we chose to visit were Marks and Spencer’s, Boots, Sainsbury’s, Tesco and of course, our very own Potterow EUSA shop. Locations decided, we emptied our piggy banks and hit the streets in search of the ultimate meal deal. Some of the results made our stomachs turn.

Monday: The first lunch we tried was Marks and Spencer’s, unsurprisingly the most expensive of the lot at £3.50.

Although initially the range of mains on offer seemed widely extensive, we soon realised that not everything was included in the meal deal. Nevertheless the selection and variety of sandwiches and salads didn’t disappoint with wraps and sushi also on offer. The snack selection included crisps, popcorn and fruit pots and drink selection included iced teas. The food tasted great, satisfying and relatively healthy; however value for money was questionable. The portion sizes and savings on the salads were not great. Overall we advise sticking to somewhere cheaper.

Mary’s rating: *** James’ rating: ** Tuesday: We awoke optimistic; today was the day of the student shop. Student shops are widely known for being cheap, so we expected to find ourselves a good deal. The EUSA shop offers three meal deals. The ‘Urban Eat Basics’ costs a reasonable £2.29, but provides a woeful range of pitiful sandwiches, Walkers crisps and water; embarrassing to say the least. The ‘Any Urban Eat or Cranks’, naturally still including the option of the extensive

‘basics’ range was slightly pricier at £2.99.

Drink selection was fittingly poor, with just Oasis and Coke on offer. Lastly, the Ginsters meal deal (costing the most at £3.39) was slightly better with salad also on offer, the crisp selection included McCoy’s but the drink selection was the same. Overall, variety and selection left something to be desired.

Mary’s rating: * James’ rating: * Wednesday: Tesco put up a valiant effort in the battle of the meal deals; costing £3 it delivered a wide range of food, including sandwiches, wraps, salads and sushi. To accompany these, one could opt for multiple varieties of crisp or chocolate and wash it all down with one of a good selection of drinks. The quality of the food, however, left something to be desired; it left you satisfied, but distressed at the experience you’d just undertaken.

We buy enough of our groceries from the skyline-dominating Tesco; need we buy our lunch there too?

Mary’s rating: *** James’ rating: *** Thursday: Boots transcended all expectations, providing what can only be described as the most enjoyable lunchtime meal deal of our entire lives. Weighing in at a respectable £3.29, it is not the cheapest option. With Boots, however, such a price is justified. The range of foods on offer was vast; confusion as to what is incorporated in the meal deal will arise only from surprise at the knowledge that you can in fact get everything available.

To cap this most enjoyable experience, ‘Steve’ will place your meal deal into a lovely meal deal bag. Boots then, is both handy and tasty.

Mary’s rating: ***** James’ rating: ***** Friday: Last was Sainsbury’s. Variety

was the meal deal’s weakest point as only sandwiches and wraps were available, however we were pleasantly surprised by the quality. Fruit juices were available as well as the standard water and fizzy drinks, but again, the snack selection could’ve been improved; only fruit and crisps were available. Savings were good and the cost was decent at £3. An alternative microwave meal deal is also available, so if you are making a trip to Sainsbury’s, consider getting this deal instead, as it looks more promising.

Mary’s rating: **** James’ rating: **

If you find yourself gobsmacked by the amount of money saved in a meal deal, this is likely due to individual products being expensive. Places where you save less can be equally satisfying without conning you with the promise of vast saving. As a meal deal, Boots was the clear favourite; the cost reflected the quantity, quality and healthiness of the food provided.

Overall though, meal deals are never perfect. You may as well create your own ‘meal deal’ where you won’t be subject to their limited range and you will most likely find yourself with a much more satisfying lunch.

Paella delivery straight from Spain Jack Dundon transports readers to Salamanca with a classic, rustic paella recipe Being on a year abroad here in Salamanca, Spain, can have its ups and downs, but one thing that never fails to cheer me up and keep me grounded is cooking. All my life, I’ve loved the idea of cooking, but it wasn’t until beginning university that I got a real chance to cook regularly, and since then I have been making, baking, cooking and tasting all sorts of things. Here in Spain the readily available fresh Spanish produce, particularly the delicious authentic chorizo, the low prices and the free time during this year abroad all adds to a new and improved cooking experience. Nowadays, everyone has a rough idea of what Spanish food is.

Tapas has become such a popular way of eating, and people have had Spanish omelette, fried Calamari and roughly know what ‘gazpacho’ is. The one thing that springs to everyone’s mind though, is the ever famous paella. Whether you call it pa-eh-ya, pa-e-lla, pa-e-li-a, or a strange creation of your own, chances are you know a little bit about the famous Valencian dish. It’s always really

hard to give a recipe about paella given that Spanish people (especially those from Valencia) are very particular about what they consider paella and what they crushingly refer to as “rice with things”.

Unsurprisingly, most students (and real people too) don’t own a paella (the giant shallow pan in which it’s made) and don’t have a bottomless supply of saffron, however, that doesn’t mean you should be put off from making a great version of an absolute classic:

Chicken and Chorizo Paella A recipe to feed two famished people, with a bit of leftovers. The recipe can be adapted to become seafood paella by simply throwing in some of your favourite shellfish and some white wine.

Ingredients • 2 small onions/1 large onion • 3 cloves garlic • 1 ½ cups of paella rice (anything short grained/risotto-y will do) • 1 tsp of smoked paprika • 1 large chicken breast • 12 cm cooking chorizo (just chop off

about the length of a normal sausage if you’re using a chorizo ring and just use a small chorizo if they’re in individual sausages already) • Pinch of saffron/2 pinches of turmeric (the yellow colour is a defining characteristic of the dish) • Handful of frozen peas • 1 litre of hot vegetable/chicken stock • Twist of ground black pepper • Lemon wedges Method 1. Finely chop the onions and garlic and sweat over a low heat while you prepare everything else.

2. Chop the chicken into either strips or pieces depending on what you prefer.

3. Slit the piece of chorizo you have at the top and peel off the outer skin.

4. Boil a kettle and mix the boiling water with the stock (cube or powder is fine) and the saffron/turmeric and allow to infuse.

5. Turn up the heat to medium and fry the chorizo in the same pan until it releases some of its juices and starts to

sizzle.

6. Add the chicken and cook for 3-4 minutes each side if possible, or 7-8 all together in bits, stirring regularly.

7. Take out the chicken and add the rice and paprika, and stir to coat the rice in the spices and chorizo for two - three minutes.

8. Be proud of how good your kitchen smells.

9. Add enough stock to thoroughly cover the rice and leave to simmer, stirring occasionally for 20-25 minutes or so, adding more liquid if the rice starts sticking or becoming dry.

10. Put the chicken back into the pan and add the frozen peas and enough stock so that the rice doesn’t stick to the bottom, unless the paella is still wet, and cook for five-ten minutes more until the rice is tender.

11. Add a squeeze of lemon juice and a few twists of black pepper.

12. Show the finished paella off to your friends. Pat yourself on the back... and eat.

joanna lisiovec

Send us your stories on fashion, beauty and health lifestyle@studentnewspaper.org

Ten things every student must do before leaving Edinburgh Life is far too short to sit around on Facebook all day refreshing your newsfeed, so I have put together a nice little list of ten fabulous, fun, and scary things to do before you leave university in Edinburgh. Some of these items might put you in danger of jail time, but that just adds to the thrill.

1) Climb up Arthur’s Seat and plant a personal flag of achievement. (Yes it isn’t that big, but it definitely still counts as proper hill climbing, which sounds even more impressive when dropping it into conversation that you decided to take a casual stroll up an extinct volcano on Wednesday) 2) Attend a ceilidh in full Scottish dress. (The Scottish dress really only counts for boys, who could go all out and sport a sporran and kilt… though preferably with underwear, as there is a lot of movement involved and you don’t want to get arrested for flashing.)

3) Try some haggis. (For the people who do not know what this is I’m not going to tell you, as it will put you off from ever trying it…)

4) Catch a ride on an open top tour bus and pretend to be a tourist for the day. (And take pictures of everything… I mean EVERYTHING. The walls, the ground, the sky…even your shoes.)

5) Have a pint (or two, or three) on St Andrews day. (Better still… try and get a pint for free by pretending to be Scottish – this does work.)

6) Attend a lecture that isn’t yours. ( Just because we’ve always wondered what it would be like to study something like neuroscience…)

7) Go on a night time ghost tour dressed in your favourite Halloween costume. (This is much more fun when it’s not actually Halloween. Perhaps try it in the middle of summer.)

8) Go to Edinburgh castle and shout ‘I’m the king of the Castle and you’re the dirty rascal’ once inside. (Caution – you may get escorted out for causing unnecessary disruption.)

9) Join a society that you’ve always thought about but have never got round to. (Even if it only lasts a few days, you will forever be able to say that you were part of the Mediterranean Gastronomy Society… you may even be able to put it on your CV!) 10) Attend a wild flat party.

(Enough said.)

Sara Emara

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Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Headline: Miami

DEVELOPERS JONATAN Söderström and Dennis Wedin have created a monster. Their game smashes together cinematic reference points including Scarface, Miami Vice, Heat and Point Break, to create a hyper-violent nostalgia tinted 80s setting. They inject this concoction with twitch-gameplay that draws on conventions established as early as the 80s arcade scene (think Robotron). This brew is percolated with recent trends in masocore game design. Finally, it’s dressed up in a lo-fi pixel aesthetic that is employed by so many indie developers it’s at risk of becoming a cliche.

Despite all this derivative referencing,

they have managed to craft a game that is startlingly fresh.

You take charge of a faceless hitman, tasked with ruthlessly dispatching whole buildings’ worth of shiftless goons working for rival gangs. The game is structured into chapters, each covering a day beginning with waking up in your apartment and listening to an enigmatic coded message on your answering machine. These messages contain instructions on where to go, and who to kill next. Afterwards you collect your rewards from dayglow convenience stores and video-rental joints run by identical clone clerks.

Gameplay involves strategically tackling opponents with a variety of weapons, siphoning them off individually or luring them round corners. Your enemies are swift and lethal, and you are just as susceptible to damage as they are. This makes every encounter with the enemy a desperate heart pumping rush to finish them before someone gets a shot off.

Levels are presented to you through a top-down view. Your character pivots on its axis following your mouse cursor and moves independently via the keyboard in a way reminiscent of GTAs 1 and 2. Unlike those games, this feels ‘right’. Movement is lightning fast, and your aim as precise as your mouse skills will allow. The buildings you are assaulting float in a pulsating negative-

space disco, overlayed with scanlines, intermittent video static and film grain. The camera drunkenly follows the player through this woozy, colour saturated world. The overall effect is of watching the game on VHS-tape while grappling with a severe migraine. As unpleasant as all that sounds, it’s an arresting, intoxicating style.

The visual punch is backed up with a fantastic repertoire of 80s inflected tracks that range from thumping club tunes, to sombre beats. Generally the music is mixed low and fuzzy, like it’s barely registering with the player through their hypnotic trance. When you’ve finished off the final enemy, the music abruptly stops, leaving you to retrace your steps back through your grisly handiwork in awful silence as you descend floors toward the exit.

The camera lets you scope out a generous portion of the rooms around you, allowing for meticulous planning.

However, as you execute your plan the variables begin to pile up, and if your enemies go off script you’ll need hair-trigger reflexes to survive. Any indecisiveness brings a swift death.

Fortunately, your life is worthless, and you can instantly respawn to try again. Enemy behaviours are more or less predictable and replicable, meaning you will be able to get back to the point where you failed without prolonged frustration. In this frame of

SOPHOS

Chris Bennet paints the town red in Dennaton Games's lurid, neon debut

RETRO CITY RAMPAGE: As far as puzzle games go, Miami is pretty bloody reference the game reveals itself as a perverse puzzle game, with dozens of solutions for each fail state.

Style is often used to mask the reality of violence. Think of all the bloodless, consequence-free firefights you’ve seen in movies and games.

Hotline Miami is gratuitously violent and nasty from the start, in keeping with its style, but as the story progresses the carnage takes its toll on your protagonist’s psyche and acquaintances. Events transpire that make you question the nature of their world, and their perception of ‘reality’.

There’s more driving you than just the gameplay and your Delorean.

The game also skewers you, the player, with wry speculation on your expectations of narrative, and motivations for playing such a violent, meaningless game. Hotline Miami neatly sidesteps the usual bloated self-satisfaction that accompanies such meta-commentary by joyfully ramming its subtext down your throat in the closing chapter: “Resolution”.

Unlocking the puzzle of each level - whether by cautious assassination or bursts of monstrous violence - is breathlessly exciting. Hotline Miami is an unmissable experience that, amazingly, can be had for the price of a few pints.

All that Twitters, research gold

Melissa Geere investigates Twitterology and finds out why noses are no-nos for pop-loving teens

CELEBRATED PUBLIC intellectual Noam Chomsky might think that Twitter “erodes normal human relations”, but many other academics are revelling in its potential. In Twitter’s seventh year, the service is now used by so many and for so many purposes that the Twittersphere has become the ultimate stamping ground for research in the social sciences, as cutting edge methodologies are developed on the fly. So much is going on that a new term has been coined for this kind of research: Twitterology.

A recent study at University College London demonstrated some

of the methodological hiccups in using Twitter as a data source. The study mapped the language of tweets in different areas of London. Tweets were sorted by a computer, and researchers were puzzled at the abnormally high usage of Tagalog, a Philippine language, which was showing up seventh in the ratings. Investigation revealed that the computer was judging ‘hahahaha’, ‘ahhhhh’ and ‘lololololol’ as Tagalog utterances. “I don’t know much about Tagalog but it sounds like a fun language,” researcher Ed Manley commented wryly on his blog.

Other studies may be more methodologically sound, but just about as far from traditional ideas of academia as you can imagine. Tyler Schnoebelen at Stanford University has recently published a study on noses in emoticons. According to Schnoebelen, the presence or absence of a nose says profound things about how the author wants to be perceived.

Non-nose users are more likely to omit apostrophes and tweet about Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black. Nose users tweet about older celebs like Ashton Kutcher and Pepe Aguilar (don’t know who that is? You must be a non-noser), and are more likely to spell difficult words correctly. It is not clear what this

study adds to humanity but it sure is fascinating.

The hottest methodology for Twitter-based study is ‘sentiment analysis’, in which a program detects the mood of a tweet based on its lexicon, emoticons, word clustering, etc. Brands will pay a lot to learn what

“

The Twittersphere has become the ultimate stamping ground for research in the social sciences." people feel about their products in this way, so the technology is developing rapidly. These programs still need to learn about sarcasm before they really understand internet users, yet when deployed over a large body of data, results are impressively accurate. Try it yourself: type any word into tweetfeel. com to discover how the Twittersphere is feeling about it today. Or at analyzewords.com you can get a detailed personality breakdown of whoever you are currently stalking based on the language of their tweets.

Golder and Macy at Cornell University have used sentiment analysis to investigate how emotion interplays with biological rhythms. They analysed tweets to measure mass mood fluctuations throughout the day. According to their findings, breakfast time and bedtime are the high points, with post-lunch being a mass low. Even weirder than a biological Twitter study, Bollen et al. at Indiana University and Manchester University have found that levels of calmness on Twitter are a significant predictor of the closing price of the Dow Jones three days later. Tumasjan et al. at the University of Munich, meanwhile, claim that the more mentions a political party receives on Twitter, the better election results they get.

Yet none of these researchers are quite as innovative as Sebastian Benthall of the University of California, Berkeley. Benthall had noticed Twitter users exploiting the medium for artistic statement, often subversively. He wondered whether these users could be considered a community, yet felt traditional research methods would not hold the answer: “You either need to slurp a lot of data into something that crunches numbers, or you have to painstakingly research individuals in

a tedious way that is not going to give you any general results on the scale necessary for this problem. So I tried a new method. This method, which I don’t have a good name for, is basically: call it names, and see if it answers back.

In other words, trolling.” Benthall wrote an overly academic blog post labelling the phenomenon ‘Weird Twitter’ to see how users reacted.

The voracious abuse which followed, Benthall argues, provides evidence of a community. In denying the label, users rallied together as ‘insiders’ in common hatred of the academic ‘outsider’ who was not qualified to comment on their culture.

It remains to be seen whether trolling will become an established research method. But it is almost certain that Twitter will continue to grow in every direction, giving a written record of human interaction patterns which were once so difficult to track. With the rise of Twitter and other social media, we now have the opportunity to learn more about humanity than we ever have before. To not make the most of this rich data just because the methodology is not quite perfect yet, would be akin to cutting off our noses to spite our smileys.

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Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Voyager 1: a mission out of this world

Alex Harston investigates the 35 year old time capsule that is catapulting itself towards the solar system boundary at high speed

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The space probe took advantage of the gas giants' huge gravitational pulls to slingshot itself into deep space" 35 years after its September 1977 launch, Voyager 1 is now over 18 billion kilometres from the sun, and is showing no signs of slowing down. What’s remarkable about the probe is how it achieved such dizzying speeds. Thanks to a rare alignment of the planets (a phenomenon which won’t occur again until midway through the 22nd century), Voyager 1 was able to hitch a ride around Jupiter and then hurl itself around Saturn, accelerating to a speed of almost 17km/s, whilst taking hundreds of photographs of the gas giants in the meantime. Using a technique known as a ‘gravity assist ma-

noeuvre’, the space probe took advantage of the gas giants’ huge gravitational pulls to slingshot itself into deep space.

You might ask why articles are still being written about Voyager, more than 20 years after it finished its primary mission of studying and collecting data about Jupiter and Saturn. Put quite simply, Voyager is still one of the most useful space missions ever initiated. It’s still going, and it’s going strong – 35 years on, the probe is still producing and sending home hugely useful data about interstellar space. Voyager 1, along with its twin, Voyager 2, is still being used today to look for the heliopause (the theorised boundary where the sun’s influence on the solar system ends).

Experts predict that Voyager 1 will cross the heliopause sometime in the next two years. Having been on an extended mission to study the outer solar system and deep space since 1990, Voyager 1 is also responsible for the famous ‘Pale Blue Dot’ photo, an image of Earth taken from over six billion kilometres away, at the request of the famous astronomer and science communicator Carl Sagan. Sagan subsequently named his 1994 book ‘Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space’, after the photo.

Voyager 1 doesn’t just hold great scientific value, however – it also has great cultural significance. As the fastest travelling and most distant product of humanity,

Voyager 1 is the object most likely to be discovered by any potential alien civilisation. Aboard the probe is a collection of images and sounds known as the ‘Golden Record’, detailing Earth’s lifeforms and characteristics, from images of volcanoes and the structure of DNA to recordings of bird calls and Beethoven’s Fifth.

Hand-picked by a committee chaired by Sagan himself, the Record also included greetings in many of Earth’s major languages, as well as a message from the then US President Jimmy Carter. Voyager 1 isn’t currently heading towards any one star, but will be passing within two light years of Gliese 445 within 40,000 years.

“

Aboard the probe is a collection of images and sounds known as the 'Golden Record', detailing Earth's lifeforms and characteristics"

BREAKING FREE: Artist's impression of the edge of the solar system

NASA/JPL-CALTECH

WHAT DO Beethoven, Chuck Berry and a recording of brainwaves all have in common? Give up? They’re all hurtling through space together at roughly 57,600 kilometres per hour aboard Voyager 1.

Costing the equivalent of £155 million to develop and launch, the 722kg space probe is officially the farthest manmade object from the Earth, having overtaken the space probe Pioneer 10 in 1998.

Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.

Despite being powered by a plutonium238 radioisotope thermoelectric generator, Voyager 1 will eventually run out of power. In only eight years, many of the science instruments on board will begin to shut down, having insufficient electrical power to operate. By 2030, the probe

will be unable to run its radio transmitters. The Voyager probe will become nothing more than a highly advanced time capsule, flying through deep space.

In the distant future, Voyager 1 might just be one of the last remnants of human civilisation (because, as Sagan put it, “technological civilizations do tend to self-destruct”).

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Voyager's camera resolution is sharp enough that it can read a newspaper headline from 1km away" Voyager 1 really is a remarkable human achievement. By the end of its life, the probe will have been in continuous operation for over 50 years. Even the 35 year old technology on board is staggering – Voyager’s camera resolution is sharp enough that it can read a newspaper headline from 1km away. According to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, where the probe was built in the mid-1970s, “Voyager’s great travel distance of 7.1 billion km from launch to Neptune resulted in a fuel economy of about 13,000 km per litre.” All from a probe with less computing power than an iPod.

Food labelling facelift misses the point

What about the food miles? Kristina Simonaityte argues new health-focused packaging still lacks enivronmental information

LAST WEEK the UK government announced that 2013 will see the introduction of a consistent front-of-pack food labelling, which will include guideline daily amounts, traffic light colours and simple 'high, medium and low' wording.

The new system will allow consumers not only to tell what percentage of sugars, fats and salt constitute the product but also whether that quantity is ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’. Following years of debates with retailers and manufacturers, this is no small victory. Although the labelling will be voluntary, the introduction of the unified system is undoubtedly a step in the right direction in making information about what we eat more accessible.

As obesity rates continue to grow, the labelling is another attempt to educate people about food and its quality. Not everyone is content with the proposed system, though. Some feel that colour coding is demonising the foods that have more sugars, more saturated fats etc., making people feel guilty and anxious about buying ‘unhealthy’ products, and in turn restricting consumer choice.

It’s also true that the system is overly simplistic and the number of calories is not necessarily the best indication of the nutritional value of the food item.

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As obesity rates continue to grow, the labelling is another attempt to educate people about the food and its quality" Food shopping is already in many ways a stressful ordeal and the labels are rarely of any help. One can easily be overwhelmed by all the choices available from fat-free to full fat, from free range to fair trade, from tasting different to basic - especially when at first glance there doesn’t seem to be that much of a difference between the products other than, well, their label.

So is something that is organic, low in

fat and all natural really better for us and the environment? In short: yes, it probably is. But this raises another question of how familiar the public is with the production processes behind all these different labels. When given a choice, the majority would prefer an organic variety to the conventional one, but how many actually know what ‘organic’ means? For organic suppliers, the ability to work with nationwide supermarket chains is still very much an industrial process albeit one that uses no chemical fertilisers or antibiotics (which consequently brings about a whole list of other problems).

Whatever the label, one thing is clear: food production has a huge impact on the environment, and consequently human wellbeing. Agriculture accounts for about 12 per cent of the total anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions. Further processing, packaging and shipping are also carbon intensive processes. Ever increasing complexity of the industrial food chain makes it hard to calculate the carbon footprint of any one product, but a quick overview of the labels can still

provide enough information on how place. When has it become impossible ‘green’ it is. to tell how nutritious something is just by looking at it? Why do products that need to be labelled as having ‘unhealthy' Incredibly, in many amounts of salt or sugars exist at all? It is rare if a product doesn’t come with cases our groceries countless chemical components, names of which only a scientist could decipher, are better travelled but apparently without which our food would be less tasty, less nutritious, less than we are" everything. And yet, it is the food labels Place of origin is one such indicator, that the government chooses to concenespecially relevant for fresh produce due trate on. to its short shelf life. Food miles is an Few are able to avoid supermaremerging but a very powerful concept, kets as alternatives are simply not as identifying how far and by what means a convenient. Farmers’ markets are usuproduct has travelled before reaching the ally significantly more expensive and not consumer, and what impact this has had many people have the time for growing on the environment. Incredibly, in many their own produce. Therefore mastering cases our groceries are better travelled the science of label reading is definitely than we are. If appropriate labelling were a skill worth having. Although the new to be introduced, counting food miles consistent labelling system is created could become just as common as count- with the emphasis on the physical health ing calories. of the consumer, hopefully, the unified Coming back to the new traffic light environmental health labels will be the labelling system, the bigger problem is next to come. that we require such a system in the first

“

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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18 Science & Environment

Science debate: cognitive enhancers DO YOU drink coffee? Or alcohol at parties? Are you wearing makeup?

How about taking cognitive enhancers?

Even if they sound scary and wrong, they modify your body to improve your memory, judgment and concentration and therefore are in principle not very different from many things that we use, and accept, in everyday life.

Coffee helps you to stay awake when your body wants to sleep, and alcohol often helps overcome self consciousness and shyness, thus making you more sociable. Makeup, or even cosmetic surgery, are changes to your body intended to make you look more beautiful and stand out among your peers. Cognitive enhancers, which also aim at improving your body, should not be treated any differently.

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They improve your brain's oxygen supply, which is essentially like opening the window to let in fresh air, and keeps your brain working efficiently” What’s more, coffee, alcohol and beauty improvements all aim solely at making life more enjoyable for the individual whereas cognitive enhancers can make a big difference to society. They are already used by people like soldiers, nurses and airplane pilots, helping those people to do their job better.

One thing has to be clarified. Cognitive enhancers do not make you more intelligent. They work by two main mechanisms. Firstly, they make neuro-

transmitters more available, enhancing your learning ability. Secondly, they improve your brain's oxygen supply, which is essentially like opening the window to let in fresh air, and keeps your brain working efficiently.

So they help you save time and make you more effective. But this is not an unfair advantage because university is not a competition between students.

It’s about educating yourself and gaining skills for life. If anything, highly achieving people will help bring their peers forward, too. Intelligence is also not about memorising things, it’s about analytical, reasoning and communication skills. No drug can help you acquire those, and they will be what every employer is looking for.

What about side effects? Very few have been found; nothing like motor stimulation or sedation, making them very different from typical psychotropic drugs. They exhibit very low toxicity, and no negative effects have been found so far. To bring it into perspective, let’s compare it to smoking. Despite long term health damage being well documented, about ten million people are smokers, because the short term benefit outweighs the long term effects. There is even evidence that cognitive enhancers can protect your brain from injuries.

Cognitive enhancers actually hold real potential to improve equality in education. With fees now at £9,000 a year, many students have to work part time during the term. Anything that will help them keep up with courses in a shorter time will reduce the disadvantages associated with this. Therefore, it is important that everyone keeps an open mind towards cognitive enhancers. Only like this can they receive sufficient attention, and research, to fulfill their full potential to benefit society.

SMART PILLS: too good to be true?

STEVEN DE POLO

Pills to help you study? Lydia Heinrich favours the benefits but Maithili Mehta is sceptical about their effects on society WE ARE at a stage of natural evolution where we have an enormous competitive advantage over all other species: our cognitive abilities are so advanced that we can actually create a means to sustain and enhance those abilities artificially.

Drugs such as methyphenidate (Ritalin) and amphetamine have proven effective in improving and restoring attention and concentration in individuals with impairments like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

However, these cognitive enhancement drugs are increasingly being used without prescription by healthy individuals – students, professors, doctors, and soldiers alike – to boost concentration above normal levels for short periods of time.

So the question now is not whether we can enhance cognitive function, it is whether we should. And considering that we are evolved enough to engender the idea, we must also have the foresight to evaluate its long term implications.

Methylphenidate and amphetamine are stimulants which work by altering the transport of a chemical, dopamine, in the brain. But unlike mild stimulants like caffeine, both leave potent residual side effects like insomnia, elevated blood pressure, and even psychosis if taken above the recommended dose. The latter could be a more serious problem than one would imagine, as most illegal transactions occur over the internet, where concentrations and doses are not prescribed. More importantly, nearly all clinical trials have been carried out on subjects with cognitive impairment conditions, and so there is little or no evidence in support of a recommended or safe dose of these drugs for healthy individuals.

The drugs also pose a threat to society. For one thing, as long as consuming

enhancement drugs remains a choice, those who do not choose to do so would be disadvantaged in a society where enhancement is rampant. For another, as long as the drug has a cost, it would be limited to those who can afford it, thereby exacerbating socioeconomic differences in education and employment.

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Employers might begin to demand that their employees consume these drugs” If we go so far as to consider a world where cognitive enhancement drugs are distributed free of cost to all, we are still left with a moral dispute. Employers might begin to demand that their employees consume these drugs to maximise their productivity, or students might be forced to consume to keep up with the high academic standards set by their peers who consume the drugs. In essence, consumption would not remain a choice anymore; rather, it would be an infringement on one’s freedom to choose.

Lastly, at a philosophical level, using a drug to improve attention span or memory would make these traits commodities, undermining the value of effort and hard work. What is frightening is not the relative ease with which we could increase the productivity of a society, a nation, or indeed the world, but the dependence on this ‘maximised’ productivity (and the psychoactive stimulants that underlie it) that would stem from such drug abuse. At its worst stage, this could mean addicts being unable to concentrate or remember effectively without these drugs.

Ready to give yourself goosebumps?

Why do we love to scare ourselves? Katy Sheen looks at the science behind our fascination with horror, blood and gore

“

Adrenaline has effects that make the world a more exciting place. Vision becomes sharper and your sensory experiences more intense” It all starts with adrenaline, a chemical released in our bodies when

we perceive danger. Perhaps without even being consciously aware of it, a frightening situation will increase your aggression levels, get your heart pumping faster and direct blood flow to your muscles. This is known as a ‘fight or flight’ response. But that’s not all – adrenaline also has effects that make the world a more exciting place. Vision becomes sharper and your sensory experiences more intense. It triggers the release of endorphins, chemicals which give pleasurable sensations and which are also released during exercise and sex. You feel more ‘alive’.

When the threat isn’t real, such as a scene in a horror movie or a fake plastic spider, a part of the brain called the cerebral cortex will soon catch up and other chemicals, like noradrenaline, are released to calm you down. The thrill of the adrenaline rush and the peaceful, calm feeling that follows it can be seriously addictive, as any adrenaline junkie can tell you.

According to Ki Ann Goosens, a neuroscientist at the McGovern Brain Institute at the Massachusetts Institute

of Technology, we may also be attracted to the sensation of power over our bodily experiences. “Many people enjoy the sense of control over their fear, turning it on and off, that an imaginary situation such as a movie produces.”

“

The thrill of the adrenaline rush and the peaceful, calm feeling that follows it can be seriously addictive” There are other explanations for our fascination with fear. From an evolutionary point of view, it is in our favour to be as familiar as possible with all sources of danger in our environment: if this includes being attacked by a serial killer in the shower, then so be it.

That familiarity might one day be the difference between survival and meeting a sticky end.

Philosophy offers another theory:

Aristotle argued that we enjoy tragic or horrifying fiction due to a process of ‘catharsis’. In other words, the viewer is able to express emotions of fear and pity without being harmed themselves, so they are ‘purged’ of these emotions, while staying safe.

Horror is not for everyone, but the adrenaline theory can explain this too.

Everyone experiences the hormonal

rollercoasters differently. For some people, the pleasurable side effects of the adrenaline rush are not large enough to override the sensations of repulsion or fear. So if, like me, you are baffled by the attraction of a Saw movie marathon, you might prefer to get your adrenaline hit from something a little less hair-raising. Scrabble, anyone?

HANNAH HOLGAN

HEARTS POUNDING, palms sweaty, popcorn abandoned in favour of an eye-covering cushion. And unless you’ve been dragged there by an enthusiastic horror fan, you’re in this terrifying situation by choice. With Halloween upon us this week, we’re surrounded by fangs, fake blood and gory costumes designed to set the pulse racing. What’s the logic behind the obsession with spookiness? Why do we love to scare ourselves?

Amazed by atoms? Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper science@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Science & Environment 19

ANDREAS MAECKER (NABU)

Disney’s dreams come to life?

Are animals finally talking? Nina Seale investigates cases of communication amongst marine mammals

CETACEAN SCOOP

“

Hidden HIV/AIDS immunity THROUGHOUT THE course of history, diseases have shown their innate ability to bring human civilization to its knees. From the Bubonic Plague to Spanish Flu, these invisible menaces have indiscriminately struck down massive percentages of the human population; however, it seems as if our generation’s most notorious pandemic, HIV, may just be leaving a certain demographic of Europeans completely unscathed.

1.7 million people died of AIDS last year. Thought to have originated from non-human primates in sub-saharan Africa, since the first recorded human patients in 1959 it has become one of the most notorious diseases affecting the human population.

“

With almost every disease there are genes in the suffering population that fight back"

But with almost every disease there are genes in the suffering population that fight back. And HIV is no different. One advantage of having such a huge population on Earth means the probability of resistance being hidden within the huge gene pool is high. And scientists have discovered that

LOST IN A CROWD: How many secrets do our genomes hold? there is a gene floating around the European gene pool that could spell the end of the HIV pandemic: CCR5-∆32.

The HIV virus works by hijacking certain cells associated with our immune system, which eventually destroys them and cripples the immune system of those infected (AIDS symptoms arise when the body is no longer able to properly defend itself from infections). This little mutation can prevent the HIV virus from entering these immune cells, by simply not producing the molecule that the virus uses as a trapdoor to enter human cells.

JAMES CRIDLAND

Simon Zafrany and Nina Seale look into the rumours of an HIV resistant gene hidden within Europe

The trouble is that this mutation only exists within 20 per cent of ethnic western Europeans, and even then the individual needs two copies of this hidden mutation for complete, instead of partial, protection from HIV. However, the key to understanding this elusive gene, and hopefully harnessing its mechanisms for a cure, is the understanding of who has it and why.

Gérard Lucotte, a French geneticist, set out to answer these questions. Lucotte and his team collected DNA samples from thousands of unrelated individuals from different European populations in order to map

CCR5-∆32 frequency. What his results revealed would shed light on the origins of this all-important allele as well as serve as an impetus for further research.

Within the tested populations, Lucotte found a considerable variation in frequency.

Northern European populations showed estimated frequency levels of around 13 per cent and over 14 per cent in Scandinavian countries. In contrast, there was an increasing scarcity of CCR5-∆32 the further south the research team ventured. Italians showed a mean frequency of 5.2 per cent, Portuguese 5.6 per cent, and Corsicans a staggeringly low 1.2 per cent. The pattern exhibited here clearly pointed to a genetic spread of the CCR5-∆32 mutation from northern Europe, possibly Scandinavia, down to its southern neighbours.

Since looking into the origins of this mutation, researchers have been trying to work out how to harness it to find a cure for HIV. They have been trying to replicate the immunity mechanism by effectively locking the trapdoor molecules used by the HIV viruses to enter human cells with a specially designed drug.

Clinical trials of this treatment have been, so far, ineffective and there are other problems that have surfaced in individuals with this mutation (a higher frequency of a chronic liver disease), so CCR5-∆32 based treatments for HIV might still be far away.

But it may just be that the cure for this morbid virus has been waiting, written in our genes all along.

THIRTY YEARS after the International Whaling Commission held its successful vote for a pause on commercial whaling in the Hilton Metropole Hotel in Brighton, the second annual Whalefest began, with famous naturalists, charities and organisations gathering from all over the world to attend lectures, panel debates and book signings last weekend.

Although the number of whales killed each year has dramatically fallen since the official moratorium in 1986, one thing was made clear by the collection of marine mammal experts present: this is a fight that is far from over. The ban on commercial whaling is still hotly debated each year, with the three main objecting countries ( Japan, Iceland and Norway) arguing against the majority to lift the moratorium. But this is not all: there are some other current issues that need urgent action and attention.

At the moment, the world’s smallest and rarest dolphins are on the brink of extinction. Hector’s dolphins (pictured above) in New Zealand have suffered a 76 per cent decrease in their population since the introduction of nylon filament fishing nets. The subspecies of Maui’s dolphin is in even more danger, their numbers having depleted more than 94 per cent and their current annual declination rate is 7.5 per cent, leaving them very little time.

After the 2006 extinction of the Yangtze River dolphin, this threat is very real. The New Zealand Government has opened a public consultation on new protection measures, allowing the public to voice their opinions about these dolphins’ right to species survival. For more information and the details on how to respond to this consultation, visit www.hectorsdolphins. com before Monday 12 November.

One of the other huge issues being discussed was the case of the female orca Morgan (pictured below). She was found weak with exhaustion and hunger in shallow coastal waters off the Netherlands in June 2010, and was rescued by a dolphinarium in Harderwijk. Taking Morgan into captivity was justified by nursing her back to health, and after her pod was located and release plans were composed by the Free Morgan Group, the Harderwijk Dolphinarium sent her to a marine park in Spain that trains these huge marine predators to perform tricks for tourists in tiny pools, where she has received wounds from other stressed captive orcas.The Free Morgan Group (FMG) have launched several court cases to fight for her release, which has begun to represent other cases of this kind. For more information about the current court case (Thursday 1 November) and the FMG’s petition visit www.freemorgan.org.

Nina Seale

SPENCER WRIGHT

FLICKR SHEILAPIC76

AN EERIE babble of human voices had started to haunt the National Marine Mammal Foundation in California. It was not until a diver surfaced from the tank and asked “Who told me to get out?” that researchers realised the distorted noises were coming from their charismatic beluga whale Noc. By changing the pressure in his nasal cavities, Noc produced sounds several octaves lower than typical whale calls. The result, as the flood of people who have now listened to the sound recordings published online last week can confirm, is a wobbly monologue that sounds like a muppet with a cold is singing gibberish into an echoing tunnel.

Although it captured the imagination of the media, this is not the huge breakthrough in human/whale communication that animal lovers would like it to be. As Philip Hoare, acclaimed author of LeviaBELUGA WHALES: Sailors heard their clicking, twittering and singing and nicknamed them 'sea canarthan or, The Whale, said at the Whalefest last weekend, this was only “a case of imitation, And there are projects trying to grasp at derstood. For example, individual dolphins project their own personalities onto an attempt by this captive whale to please this possible underwater language. Denise produced a special signature whistle that animals, is a threat to projects like this, its trainers. Its sort of pathetic, really.”

Herzing has the enviable job of being a is very possibly used for identification- a especially when portrayed in the media like marine mammal biologist who has spent unique greeting to say “It’s me!” which Noc’s incoherent babble. These creatures past 28 years studying Stenella frontalis, mothers would use to call back lost calves. have been developing their behaviour, Individual dolphins the the Atlantic spotted dolphin population However, being the curious, sociable language and culture in their oceans for living off the coast of the Grand Bahama primates we are, this research is reaching thousands of years before we climbed out of produced a special Island. Herzing and her research team further than simple observation. Herzing our caves, and the result is a completely difsignature whistle" have collected a library of communication is refining portable underwater commu- ferent structure that we have to respect, and data between this population of about nication devices to recognise and generate not push, in order to understand. Herzing’s This is not the end of marine mammal 100 dolphins, 60 of which she recognises dolphinese whistles, hoping to create a work represents hope for better interaction communication studies, however. The key by sight. This data distinguishes the range dialogue with the aquatic creatures she has and integration with the sentient species in to trying to study how our underwater of sounds these dolphins make (whistles, dedicated her life to studying. "Maybe it our seas, where we may be able to see the cousins communicate is to understand buzzes, squawks, screams, barks) with will lead to an extensive artificial language,” world as a place we share, and not control, that their audial interaction would be com- the associated behaviour (mother/calf re- Herzing says “But the real breakthrough with these creatures. “I think it could be our pletely different in structure, language and unions, babysitting, courtship, discipline, would be if the dolphins introduce their salvation,” she says. “Because if we don’t purpose from any form of human commu- sexual play, aggression). own vocalizations and whistles.” start including other creatures in the fornication.

These sounds are now, to an extent, unAnthropomorphism, when humans mula, there is not going to be a planet.”

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

editors@studentnewspaper.org

20 Crossword & Horoscopes

ES

OS R O

H

CRYPTIC CLUES

Oliver ninnis

P O C

Dual Crossword No. 21 BY PICUS

ACROSS 5 He blows the gaff - and his wife let loose as well? (7- 6) 8 Epic tale of Independent Irish Assembly in recession .… (5) 9 …. chanted by popular character and daughter (7) 10 Exit Mater in a huff for further period of play (5, 4) 13 Drink’s a lovely experience - at first (3) 14 Type of bread discovered in Indiana nunnery (3) 15 A man with a gun, encountered always (poetically) holding flower (9) 17 First letter of monogram (7) 19 House backward horse in log hut (5) 21 Tie Marine and Roman soldier in knots (8, 5)

ESP Elspeth just loves wearing

EasyJet’s new staff burqa! When not flying high flogging over-priced nibblets, she likes to go intergalactic on crystal meth. Place your veil in an upright position and listen to her safety announcements for the week ahead....

Aries

Virgo and Orion have a wild fling this week and you celebrate by getting totally trashed and losing your virginity.

Exciting eh? Sadly, your enthusiasm overrides your common sense and when your hot stud seducer tells you to ‘spread ’em’ (incredibly tacky by the way, what are you doing with this guy?) you grab the nearest spatula and spread strawberry preserve all over your elbows.

Taurus

Your prayers to Hugo, a small nebulae who is also the Love Hawk of Neptune, have been answered! Your strange sexual fantasy is fulfilled when the incredibly easy girl you picked up picks up on the actual meaning of your superficially tacky and shallow suggestion. You spend a wonderful night rubbing your knees against her jamcovered elbows. That’s sex!

Gemini

Your plan to create a student life reality show has birthed unexpected results. Your hidden camera captures your flatmate engaging in some sort of condiment-based sex Chernobyl with a man with genitals on his knees. And her elbows... you had always assumed they were just creased in an unusual manner...

Cancer

Your overall morale takes a hit when your editor steals your trousers without you noticing, and then shits in them just to make a point about decadent content quality. You are miffed and your thighs are cold. Begrudgingly, you put the trousers back on. They’re actually quite soothingly warm.

Leo

Your ‘Resurrected Jimmy Saville’ costume is NOT a good idea.

Virgo

This week you take a cartload of ketamine sufficient to slay a moderately sized Shetland pony. Now that's really putting the horse before the cart.

Libra

This week you find out that your new flat mate is like Saturn - a gas giant.

Not only is she 95 times more massive than you, but she runs rings around you too.

Scorpio

Who knew middle class mothers could be so goddam kinky? You suspect they might be now, don’t you? Mmmmm.

You dress in nothing but your leather chaps and stand in Waitrose gyrating awkwardly for seven solid hours before you dehydrate and collapse in the antipasti aisle.

Sagittarius

You unwrap the Milky Way this week.

As you toy with its wrapper, and satisfyingly plop it into a glass of milk, the very last thing you are expecting is for it to rebound and float!!! To your simultaneous horror and delight, you watch as the patented criss-cross chocolate design bobs along the surface. Brace yourself for an unexpected week.

Capricorn

They say that when the stars come into alignment with the Job Centre, it’s going to be a ruddy bloody good series of Jeremy Kyle. Grab your trakkies and Tennant’s, stay at home for the working week and enjoy such classics as: ‘Your Baby’s Too White To Be Mine!’, ‘Irresistible To Women - My Fiancée Accepts It’s Not My Fault!’ and ‘Who’s The Father? Me Or My Dad?’

Aquarius

This week you run into the Library and try to return yourself to the HUB. As your oversized rear-end becomes awkwardly lodged between the conveyer belt and the card reader, you look up to see an army of small orange singing men in laderhosen, merrily carrying books at the beck and call of Tim O’Shea (Wonka). You knew it - those books don’t re-shelve themselves.

Pisces

My mystic mana is running low now, all I can say for this week Pisces is...

CONCISE CLUES

ACROSS 5 He spills the beans (7-6) 8 Homer’s tale of Troy (5) 9 Chanted (7) 10 It starts after 90 minutes (5, 4) 13 Drink (3) 14 Indian bread (3) 15 Athos, Porthos or Aramis (9) 17 A first letter (7) 19 Indian hut (5) 21 Knots (at sea) (8, 5)

DOWN 1 A musical (4) 2 Where a stallion stands (4-4) 3 Star sign (6) 4 Ballet (4, 4) 5 The Royal Navy’s flag (5, 6) 6 Allow (3) 7 Irrelevant distractions (3, 8) 11 Ringing in the ears (8) 12 eg Though tough, love throve (3-5) 16 Eastern ruler (6) 18 Old chemical company (3) 20 Centre of archery target (4)

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 20 ACROSS 1 ABRACADABRA Barbara* round a cad 7 BEAGLE BEA + leg* 8 MIRAGE MI + rage (verb) 9 BAR 2 definitions 10 KILKENNY Cryptic definition 12 ACACIA CIA following a CA 14 MIKADO mo round kadi* 16 PELL-MELL P + ell, M + ell ‘discretely’ - separately 18 BAG gab (rev) 19 PERMIT p + (K) ermit 21 GANDER (g, and) + ER 22 THOUGHTLESS though + less round T

DOWN 1 Musical soldiers (4) 2 Dust flies over female on a jolly where stallions stand (4-4) 3 Space Exploration program finds Earth goddess sitting on car (6) 4 Ankle was broken in the ballet (4, 4) 5 It flutters from the stern, as the Nine swig rum (5, 6) 6 Allow old-fashioned obstruction (3) 7 Distractions embarrassed German gent in G & S (3, 8) 11 Mr Andronicus, round the pub, gets noises in his ears (8) 12 It says “ I make verses”, but it doesn’t! (3-5) 16 Middle Eastern bigshot may come to stun LA (6) 18 Old chemical company supplies batch of medicine…. (3) 20 …. or Bowman’s bull (4)

DOWN 1 ALEMBIC ale before MB + ic 2 ROGER 2 defs and contained The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is pro-German (environment) recommended.

3 CHECKMATE Check + team* 4 DAM Da + m 5 BERSERK Erse R replaces o’s in Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors. book 6 ARGON organ* 11 LIMELIGHT light under lime 13 COLOMBO mob* in cool* 15 DIGRESS d for T of Tigress 17 EXEAT Ex. + ea (each) + T 18 BINGE bin + Ge * = anagram of the preceding material 20 TIG sTr I nG (rev) = reverse the preceding material

A bit about cryptic clues Last week we mentioned the surface meaning (overt sense) of clues - with which the compiler, who has to provide you with all that extra information as well as a definition, tries to disguise the underlying structure.

Drink’s a lovely experience - at first (3) Here the compiler is trying to distract you from the real function of “at first” by getting you to think about the initial joys of alcohol and the subsequent hangover.

Solvers should ignore this (and all other surface meanings) and just ask “which bit of the clue is the definition?”

Always look to the beginning or the end of the clue - because it’s almost impossible to compile a clue with the definition in the middle.

Here the definition is Drink and the answer is ALE. The internal crosscheck is given by ‘a’ plus the initial letters of lovely experience - for which “at first” is (in reality) the indicator.

Our next clue type is the Cryptic definition. These clues don’t have the normal Definition / Extra info format. Solving them depends on realising that one of the words in the clue has an unexpected meaning.

When the penny drops there is rarely any doubt about the answer.

Cause of world revolution (4) LOVE “revolution” means rotation not rebellion. (‘It’s love that makes the world go round’).

One who runs, out of habit? (8)

STREAKER “habit” means clothing not custom.

As with riddles these clues need a bit of lateral thinking, and the compiler often adds a question mark to let you know that there’s something unusual going on.

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

editors@studentnewspaper.org

20 Crossword & Horoscopes

ES

OS R O

H

CRYPTIC CLUES

Oliver ninnis

P O C

Dual Crossword No. 21 BY PICUS

ACROSS 5 He blows the gaff - and his wife let loose as well? (7- 6) 8 Epic tale of Independent Irish Assembly in recession .… (5) 9 …. chanted by popular character and daughter (7) 10 Exit Mater in a huff for further period of play (5, 4) 13 Drink’s a lovely experience - at first (3) 14 Type of bread discovered in Indiana nunnery (3) 15 A man with a gun, encountered always (poetically) holding flower (9) 17 First letter of monogram (7) 19 House backward horse in log hut (5) 21 Tie Marine and Roman soldier in knots (8, 5)

ESP Elspeth just loves wearing

EasyJet’s new staff burqa! When not flying high flogging over-priced nibblets, she likes to go intergalactic on crystal meth. Place your veil in an upright position and listen to her safety announcements for the week ahead....

Aries

Virgo and Orion have a wild fling this week and you celebrate by getting totally trashed and losing your virginity.

Exciting eh? Sadly, your enthusiasm overrides your common sense and when your hot stud seducer tells you to ‘spread ’em’ (incredibly tacky by the way, what are you doing with this guy?) you grab the nearest spatula and spread strawberry preserve all over your elbows.

Taurus

Your prayers to Hugo, a small nebulae who is also the Love Hawk of Neptune, have been answered! Your strange sexual fantasy is fulfilled when the incredibly easy girl you picked up picks up on the actual meaning of your superficially tacky and shallow suggestion. You spend a wonderful night rubbing your knees against her jamcovered elbows. That’s sex!

Gemini

Your plan to create a student life reality show has birthed unexpected results. Your hidden camera captures your flatmate engaging in some sort of condiment-based sex Chernobyl with a man with genitals on his knees. And her elbows... you had always assumed they were just creased in an unusual manner...

Cancer

Your overall morale takes a hit when your editor steals your trousers without you noticing, and then shits in them just to make a point about decadent content quality. You are miffed and your thighs are cold. Begrudgingly, you put the trousers back on. They’re actually quite soothingly warm.

Leo

Your ‘Resurrected Jimmy Saville’ costume is NOT a good idea.

Virgo

This week you take a cartload of ketamine sufficient to slay a moderately sized Shetland pony. Now that's really putting the horse before the cart.

Libra

This week you find out that your new flat mate is like Saturn - a gas giant.

Not only is she 95 times more massive than you, but she runs rings around you too.

Scorpio

Who knew middle class mothers could be so goddam kinky? You suspect they might be now, don’t you? Mmmmm.

You dress in nothing but your leather chaps and stand in Waitrose gyrating awkwardly for seven solid hours before you dehydrate and collapse in the antipasti aisle.

Sagittarius

You unwrap the Milky Way this week.

As you toy with its wrapper, and satisfyingly plop it into a glass of milk, the very last thing you are expecting is for it to rebound and float!!! To your simultaneous horror and delight, you watch as the patented criss-cross chocolate design bobs along the surface. Brace yourself for an unexpected week.

Capricorn

They say that when the stars come into alignment with the Job Centre, it’s going to be a ruddy bloody good series of Jeremy Kyle. Grab your trakkies and Tennant’s, stay at home for the working week and enjoy such classics as: ‘Your Baby’s Too White To Be Mine!’, ‘Irresistible To Women - My Fiancée Accepts It’s Not My Fault!’ and ‘Who’s The Father? Me Or My Dad?’

Aquarius

This week you run into the Library and try to return yourself to the HUB. As your oversized rear-end becomes awkwardly lodged between the conveyer belt and the card reader, you look up to see an army of small orange singing men in laderhosen, merrily carrying books at the beck and call of Tim O’Shea (Wonka). You knew it - those books don’t re-shelve themselves.

Pisces

My mystic mana is running low now, all I can say for this week Pisces is...

CONCISE CLUES

ACROSS 5 He spills the beans (7-6) 8 Homer’s tale of Troy (5) 9 Chanted (7) 10 It starts after 90 minutes (5, 4) 13 Drink (3) 14 Indian bread (3) 15 Athos, Porthos or Aramis (9) 17 A first letter (7) 19 Indian hut (5) 21 Knots (at sea) (8, 5)

DOWN 1 A musical (4) 2 Where a stallion stands (4-4) 3 Star sign (6) 4 Ballet (4, 4) 5 The Royal Navy’s flag (5, 6) 6 Allow (3) 7 Irrelevant distractions (3, 8) 11 Ringing in the ears (8) 12 eg Though tough, love throve (3-5) 16 Eastern ruler (6) 18 Old chemical company (3) 20 Centre of archery target (4)

Solutions to Dual Crossword No. 20 ACROSS 1 ABRACADABRA Barbara* round a cad 7 BEAGLE BEA + leg* 8 MIRAGE MI + rage (verb) 9 BAR 2 definitions 10 KILKENNY Cryptic definition 12 ACACIA CIA following a CA 14 MIKADO mo round kadi* 16 PELL-MELL P + ell, M + ell ‘discretely’ - separately 18 BAG gab (rev) 19 PERMIT p + (K) ermit 21 GANDER (g, and) + ER 22 THOUGHTLESS though + less round T

DOWN 1 Musical soldiers (4) 2 Dust flies over female on a jolly where stallions stand (4-4) 3 Space Exploration program finds Earth goddess sitting on car (6) 4 Ankle was broken in the ballet (4, 4) 5 It flutters from the stern, as the Nine swig rum (5, 6) 6 Allow old-fashioned obstruction (3) 7 Distractions embarrassed German gent in G & S (3, 8) 11 Mr Andronicus, round the pub, gets noises in his ears (8) 12 It says “ I make verses”, but it doesn’t! (3-5) 16 Middle Eastern bigshot may come to stun LA (6) 18 Old chemical company supplies batch of medicine…. (3) 20 …. or Bowman’s bull (4)

DOWN 1 ALEMBIC ale before MB + ic 2 ROGER 2 defs and contained The Chambers Dictionary (2008) is pro-German (environment) recommended.

3 CHECKMATE Check + team* 4 DAM Da + m 5 BERSERK Erse R replaces o’s in Comments, questions, complaints etc can reach the compiler via the editors. book 6 ARGON organ* 11 LIMELIGHT light under lime 13 COLOMBO mob* in cool* 15 DIGRESS d for T of Tigress 17 EXEAT Ex. + ea (each) + T 18 BINGE bin + Ge * = anagram of the preceding material 20 TIG sTr I nG (rev) = reverse the preceding material

A bit about cryptic clues Last week we mentioned the surface meaning (overt sense) of clues - with which the compiler, who has to provide you with all that extra information as well as a definition, tries to disguise the underlying structure.

Drink’s a lovely experience - at first (3) Here the compiler is trying to distract you from the real function of “at first” by getting you to think about the initial joys of alcohol and the subsequent hangover.

Solvers should ignore this (and all other surface meanings) and just ask “which bit of the clue is the definition?”

Always look to the beginning or the end of the clue - because it’s almost impossible to compile a clue with the definition in the middle.

Here the definition is Drink and the answer is ALE. The internal crosscheck is given by ‘a’ plus the initial letters of lovely experience - for which “at first” is (in reality) the indicator.

Our next clue type is the Cryptic definition. These clues don’t have the normal Definition / Extra info format. Solving them depends on realising that one of the words in the clue has an unexpected meaning.

When the penny drops there is rarely any doubt about the answer.

Cause of world revolution (4) LOVE “revolution” means rotation not rebellion. (‘It’s love that makes the world go round’).

One who runs, out of habit? (8)

STREAKER “habit” means clothing not custom.

As with riddles these clues need a bit of lateral thinking, and the compiler often adds a question mark to let you know that there’s something unusual going on.

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Theatre buff? Review it!!

22 Culture

STAR RATING

A boulevard of dreams

«««««Ro-markable and Ju-bilent «««««Love's Labour's Rewarded «««««All's Well That Ends Well «««««Much Ado About Nothing«««««Corio-heinous

Emma Winterschladen relives adolescent chaos through Green Day musical American Idiot rending ballads such as “Wake me up AMERICAN IDIOT when September Ends“ and “21 Guns".

Edinburgh Playhouse 'Run ended

«««««

ist-pumping. Head-banging. Heartthumping. American Idiot is the angry but eloquent, energetic yet poignant, cry of a post 9/11 young generation who find themselves struggling with a sense of disillusionment amidst a media-consumed, conflict ridden 21st century America.

Both politically and emotionally charged this production successfully recreates the dynamism and exuberance of a Green Day concert in the more refined and artfully constructed landscape of the theatre.

Don’t expect a lighthearted watch, from the word go we are mercilessly nosedived into a colourful, ear drum bursting rendition of Green Day’s hot-blooded title track, “American Idiot”. In testament to the “information age of hysteria” TV screens are scattered around the stage flashing an assault on the senses as we are faced with the unashamed excesses of the

ZERO DAY DAVID BALDACCI Grand Central Publishing 2011

«««««

D

avid Baldacci introduces Detective John Puller in his latest novel, Zero Day set around gruesome killings and military conspiracies.

When an army general and his family are slaughtered, the Criminal Investigation Department sends their best field officer, John Puller, to look into it. Shunned by the local police force, he eventually teams up with the homicide detective Samantha Cole. As the body count continues to rise, a web of deceit builds up. Soon it becomes evident that the murders are part of a grand scheme of events which have been preordained to consummate into a catastrophe.

David Baldacci delivers a page-turner; however, the book fails to come together as a whole. While the author develops special agent Puller in style, introducing a stoic and mysterious army man, he unfortunately over-saturates the character’s

SLUMPED: The high energy routines obviously taking their toll on the cast media.

This relentless energy is maintained throughout and is manifest most clearly in its impressive production. Whether it’s the faultlessly executed choreography of Olivier Award winner Steven Hoggett, or the extraordinary scene, mid-air, between development. Furthermore, it’s difficult not to relate John Puller to Lee Child’s character Jack Reacher in his latest release, The Affair, whose plot is more or less identical to Zero Day. However, even if Baldacci is given the benefit of the doubt since both books were released at the same time, he is still trying just a bit too hard. Dragging through character development, environmental based conspiracies and family histories, everything seem rushed in the last hundred pages and converges into a climax involving a detailed but dubious briefing on nuclear weapons, the ridiculousness of the situation only being matched by the protagonist’s response. Furthermore, throughout the novel, he carries with him a rucksack with pretty much everything, including not one, but two biohazard suits, just in case he comes across nuclear weapons while solving murders with a pretty little detective in West Virginia.

David Baldacci may have introduced a new hero with John Puller in Zero Day. However, he fails to deliver on the storyline due to unnecessary complexity and over-cooked characters.

Raunak Dash

WWW.SCOTSMAN.COM

F

Tunny and the nurse, it is a visual feast of colour, composition and creativity.

Although at times the spoken narrative can seem somewhat lacking, it is made up for by the sheer scope of Billie Joe Armstrong’s musical repertoire. From punk rock anthems of rebellion to heart-

CHARADE Bedlam Theatre Run Ended

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W

ith Charade Bedlam has provided a production that treads the boundaries of fun well, a wonderful example of old-fashioned entertainment.

For the most part the excellently scripted piece flowed quite seamlessly, although on two occasions the dialogue became somewhat stodgy. The characterisation aided and abetted a dazzling composition, with notable performances from all. From the villainous posse, hell-bent on achieving their end, to the French Gendarmerie - Wisseau allusions aside, each role had been given due thought and attention.

The cast never fully get away from a Hepburn-Grant dynamic, but I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing. The use of caricature was supremely effective, giving the story a real sense of liveness. Absent of star-crossed lovers and sentimentality, Charade is a fine example of art for en-

Johnny, the main character’s, evocative rendition of ”Boulevard of Broken Dreams” will no doubt leave many fans teary-eyed.

Admittedly the characters and their relationships are not very developed; the fact that Johnny’s girlfriend is called merely ‘whatshername’ makes it hard to see their ‘love’ as anything but a drug-fuelled, lusty liaison of self-destruction. This is not to say it is not emotionally electric, it certainly provides more than a handful of tear jerking moments. Yet, these are achieved more through the recognisable and somewhat relatable songs than any real engagement with the characters.

American Idiot explores universal issues of rebellion against suburban ideals, society and authority, from parents to politics.

The extent to which it represents a whole generational voice is questionable, but it is certainly iconic of a powerful punk rock subculture of resentment, disenchantment and hopelessness, something I suppose we can all relate to on some level. tertainments sake and I applaud the air of tongue-in-cheek present throughout.

The most exceptional part of this production was the fabulous staging.

Three revolving boxes acted as the only set which rotated to morph the stage seamlessly from room to room, whilst the imaginative use of special effects and lighting kept the mood light and playful.

A dramatic finale, which took place in the upper tier of the church-turnedtheatre, created palpable tension to end the highly strung chain of events that preceded it. The use of displaced audio also added a nice, almost cinematic touch to an otherwise straightforward cast audience relationship.

Charade lives up to all expectations, combining witty one-liners with a riveting and persuasive plot. Suspenseful and dynamic, the story constantly leaves you hanging and second guessing, keeping you quite literally on the edge of your seat. Promising for all those involved, I hope to see more from this cast and crew.

Alexandra Gushurst-Moore

ROYGBIV This week's cultural spectrum.

T

Autumn Reflections

he autumn is upon us and as the days get shorter the number of books in my bookshelf is increasing, rapidly. I’m always like this – when the weather is horrid and you are freezing your toes off, I escape to the nearest bookshop and bury myself in biographies, novels, and poetry. I justify this appalling use of money as investing in my own mental health, as a way of dealing with the prospect of endless rain and cold in the months to come.

When I think of this time of year I always picture myself sitting in a wingback chair in front of a roaring fire, a cup of hot chocolate in hand and a new book in my lap. However, as much as I wish this was reality I cannot escape the horrible truth; essays are upon any stressed-out student and the pile of books stacked up in my cold, uninviting flat should probably be left alone for a bit longer. It actually pains my soul that I do not have time to read most of the new titles coming out this season, however, I cannot make myself read for pleasure when I know that I have a massive amount of reading to do for my course. I am sure many people feel the same way, but come on - who wants to read about Scottish criminal law when you can indulge yourself in the literary world of Dickens, Allende, Mankell, and Conan Doyle?

I am permanently torn between my wish to do well at university and my profound desire to finish another book on my list. However, after two years of studying I have come to realise that the latter cannot, and will not, be pushed aside. Therefore, I have decided to award myself half an hour every day to pick up a book and read it without feeling guilty for not studying. After all, a happy mind makes a happy student, and I’m almost positive my grades would improve if I allowed myself a short half an hour a day in front of an imaginary fireplace.

Lene Korseberg

THE POETRY DOCTOR with Isabella Flanders

This week: birds, battles and the power of ridiculous rhymes Dear Poetry Doctor, This time of year sure is exhausting.

With the lead up to Halloween the veil between the living and the dead is at its thinnest, plus I have so many essays due. Of a midnight I am often dreary, but this bloody raven keeps fluttering into my chamber, quothing the night away. I’m losing sleep and my love life is suffering. It’s really getting to my bosom’s core! Whatever shall I do? Help me doctor I implore.

It is a fact that spectral ravens don’t deal well with anything outside their own poetic comfort zone. They are creatures of a gothic bent, dedicated to weighty rhymes and archaic language.

No wonder it’s disrupting your lucubrations and killing the mood whenever you bring someone home. You must scare it away with innovative verse forms: have

a rhyme off with the raven. Grab your poetry anthology from the writing desk and bombard it with verse to confuse it. Where the raven gives vexatious verbosity, respond with nonsensical nonsequitur. You could try “On the Ning Nang Nong” by Spike Milligan. Milligan’s superbly crafted gobbledygook will be the last thing it will expect. Hopefully by meeting its macabre sentiments with the purely ridiculous you will at least ruffle its feathers.

Next, move in for the kill. Discard your anthology and boot up your laptop.

The ultimate antithesis to the cawing of an antiquated raven is the tweeting of the modern poet. Twitter, with its 140 character limit, has given rise to new poetry characterised by its succinctness, a meeting of the haiku and the hashtag. Since you can’t trawl through the Twittersphere

at this critical point in the battle, search for Margaret Ingraham (@InPoetweet).

Her daily poems romp through various moods and metres, ranging from socks to the Heisenberg Principle. The unconventional line breaks make this poetry hard to read aloud, but if you manage it- BAM! The raven will let out a thoroughly ungothic squawk and vanish in a puff of indignant befuddlement.

That’s the hope anyway. But if after all your toil and trouble it only quoths with greater vigour, abandon poetry as a lost cause. Just try opening the window and shooing.

Got a problem? We can cure you!

All problems will be treated confidentially. And ever so seriously. Email us at poetrydoctor.studentnewspaper@gmail. com.

Look oot for...

Agatha Chrisite's The Mousetrap - now celebrating 60 years on stage - has been performed more than 25,000 times.

Catch it at The King's Theatre 29 Oct to 3 Nov as part of its first ever tour.

The Fruitmarket opens its long awaited exhibition Galapagos, including work by Alison Turnball and Alexis Deacon.

Edinburgh Creative Writing Club, every Monday 7-9.30pm in Pulp Fiction Books. Bring something to read and enjoy a good discussion.

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Culture 23

Inspiration and influence Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art 'til 4 Nov

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T

he National Gallery’s Picasso exhibition is a refreshing show. Not just a retrospective of the artist, it examines the influential and personal links between the Spanish master and a number of British artists. Reaching Edinburgh after showing at Tate Britain, works by Scottish artists Robert Colquhoun and Robert MacBryde have been added, giving a further insight into the specifically Scottish influence Picasso had.

Picasso was never long in Britain so the material available was not in abundance. This exhibition seeks to narrate his rise in Britain, by recounting his relationships, influence and controversy.

The systematic curation, introducing a new artist in each space, allows for recognition of the diversity of inspiration that Picasso provided. The comparisons made with Wyndham Lewis and Duncan Grant for example, clearly reflect the emerging cubist dynamic and a keen drive for experimentation. The Henry Moore room displays a mutual interest in African and other non-western traditions, particularly emphasizing the influence of Picasso’s Neo-classical work of the 1920s on the reinforcement of Moore’s interest in Greco-Roman and Renaissance sculpture.

Bringing together 150 works from both public and private collections around the globe, there is a range of high-profile works, along with some lesser-known curiosities displayed over the two floors. Roland Penrose, a British collector, features strongly as a leading figure in establishing Picasso’s reputation in Britain. His collection includes Picasso’s iconic “Weeping Woman”. The highlight of the show must be Picasso’s “The Three Dancers”, considered by the artist as one of his greatest works.

Picasso’s relationship to Britain is also highlighted in a room dedicated to Picasso’s ten-week residence in London in 1919, when the artist was working with impresario Serge Diaghilev and his Russian ballet. The room displays many vibrant pochoir on paper backdrop and costume designs for the Ballet Russes’ production of “The Three-Cornered Hat”.

This exhibition unearths the true extent to which Picasso’s artistic genius influenced the art in Britain. He was a stimulus for many big names including Francis Bacon, Ben Nicholson and David Hockney, whose works are also included in the show. A selection of photographs taken by Lee Miller concludes the show. This provides a personal touch that shows the humanside of such a formidably talented and innovative artistic personality.

COMMISSION #8: BECCA HOWARD

MID-CHEST-BREAST: Picasso's nudes lost track of their body parts

IF I TOUCHED THE EARTH CYNTHIA ROGERSON Black and White Publishing 2012

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A

story set in Scotland, steeped in Scottish local history, and with an all-Scottish cast of characters is not what you would expect from Californian born Cynthia Rogerson, but nevertheless this book reads as if written by a native Scotswoman.

In short, Rogerson explores the grief of Alison Ross, a single mother in her late thirties who loses her son Calum in an unexpected car crash. Struggling to cope, Alison abandons her home town and carries down a path of introspection and reinvention, leaving her (now married) ex-best friend Neal to deal with the aftermath of their one night stand.

“

This book does not quite pack the emotional punch she appears to be searching for. You certainly emphathise with Alison and her journey but you do not travel it with her."

Becca Howard is a fourth year Intermedia student at ECA. The above work “Four Waterfalls”forms part of a series of over 200 combined photographic and silk screen prints, each existing only once and depicting one of the hundreds of coloured pigments that make up the image.

As well as Alison’s journey, Rogerson intersects her narrative with chapters from a variety of other characters' viewpoints, exploring their own unique responses to Calum’s untimely death.

TATE.ORG.UK

Laura Harwood explores our relationship with Picasso, his contemporaries and Modern British Art

This allows for an interesting wideangled view of how death can affect a community, even for a boy as ordinary as Calum.

While this book is a very pleasant and quick read, Rogerson does not quite pack the emotional punch she appears to be searching for. You certainly empathise with Alison and her journey but you do not travel it with her. This is perhaps due to the clear audience Rogerson is writing for, and indeed, also about. For in every aspect it is clearly a book intended for a market of middleaged women, concerned primarily about the issue of mid-life crises, with many strong nostalgic references to the youth culture of the 60s and 70s.

“

This is clearly a book intended for a market of middle-aged women, concerned with mid-life crises."

Nevertheless, Rogerson does provide some perceptive insights into the nature of grief and the mourning process in particular, and has the refreshing ability to express complex emotions in a blunt and utterly unpretentious manner. The characterisation is likewise unfailingly realistic; even the deceased Calum avoids being put on a pedestal.

Overall, despite being a rather charming and likeable book, it seems more like the perfect gift for an older relative, or perhaps as a back-up holiday read, than a student bestseller.

Peony Gent

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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A short of Dark Adrenaline

LACUNACOIL.IT

Stuart Iversen talks to Lacuna Coil’s Cristiano Mozzati about new releases and disappearing to South America

LACUNA COIL: The happy-go-lucky carefree sort. Honest

that rule. Their brand of gothic metal has now been delighting fans globally for nearly two decades, with recent album Dark Adrenaline shooting to 15th in the US Billboard Charts and entering the top 50 in the UK. Ahead of their upcoming UK tour The Student spoke to drummer Cristiano Mozzati, who was looking forward to their return to the UK. “I don’t want to sound like I’m just telling you what I tell everyone but the UK has always been amazing and it’s our biggest market in Europe.”

While previous album Shallow Life had seen a movement towards a more over the top rock sound, a move that delighted some and annoyed others, Dark Adrenaline has seen many talk of a return to their gothic roots. When questioned over whether this was a natural progression for the band, or something far more deliberate, Moz-

Singles

CALVIN HARRIS Sweet Nothing COLUMBIA RECORDS

««««« rior to the success of ‘Spectrum’, P the collaboration of Calvin Harris and Florence Welch was something that had never even crossed the majority of our minds. However, Harris’s catchy electronic sound and Welch’s haunting vocals worked surprisingly well together, and after listening to

zati admits that it was a bit of both. “It was 50/50 to be honest. We went for more of a rock sound on Shallow Life and we’ve done that now, and while we enjoyed it, we know what we like to play on stage and which songs are the most enjoyable.” Alongside the album the band also put together a DVD collection called Dark Passengers. When asked about the inspiration behind this Mozzati admits it was an attempt to do something different for the fans. “We were looking for extras for the album and we considered doing something like studio footage and demos but we decided that everyone does that. So I came up with this idea and everyone loved it and luckily we were able to get SaKu who directed it and was willing to do it for not very much money which was awesome.”

Having now been around as a band in some form for nearly two decades it seems fair to suggest it must all be a bit old hat for them now, just another job.

“Sweet Nothing” it is easy to predict that further success will be inevitable for this pair. The track is the fifth single from Harris’s long awaited third studio album 18 months, which also features artists such as Kelis, Example, Ne-Yo and Rihanna.

The repetition of “Sweet Nothing” ensures that the track will stick firmly in your head. The fast paced chorus and electronic beats combined with lyrics such as, “It’s not enough to tell me that you care” and “You give me nothing”, which have quite a serious tone, makes this single a dancefloor anthem with a difference.

Amanda Fleet

According to Mozzati that is far from the case. “Well obviously it is a job, you’re away from your family for long periods of time and we make enough money to live but we’re not millionaires. Despite that, it’s still exciting.

Seeing kids react to your music is awesome and there’s not much better than that.” With their long serving status in mind you have to wonder just how fed up they are of playing some of their older songs. “Yeah, I’m a bit fed up of them” Mozzati laughs. “However there’s certain songs you can’t get away without playing, the fans expect it.

Plus it’s about the reaction these songs get, the kids love them.” Even more annoying must be picking the set lists with such a wealth material to choose from, how exactly do they choose what to play? “It’s really hard, as I said there are songs we have to play but we do have a bit of freedom now. We don’t have to play the same thing every night and we get to mix it up and play what

VILLAGERS The Waves DOMINO

««««« rom the start of Villagers’ first sinF gle since their album Becoming A Jackal, it’s clear that front man Conor

J. O’Brien is taking the band in a new direction. With some new synthesizers to play with, O’Brien’s voice joins a gently progressing beat that seems far removed from the band’s acoustic past.

But fans of the Mercury nominated debut shouldn’t worry.

The intimate vocals that brought

we would like to as well as what the fans want to hear.”

With this wealth of experience, it’s becoming more and more common for other bands to name Lacuna Coil in interviews as one of their influences something which must be a source of pride for the band. “It’s awesome, we used to say the same thing about bands like Paradise Lost and to know that we’ve had a similar influence on bands that have listened to our music is great, it’s nice to know how much of an impact we have had.”

October also sees Lacuna Coil attempting to make an impact in a different way; they have chosen this month to partner with the Keep a Breast Foundation which will see fifty cents from every online copy of Dark Adrenaline sold being donated to the charity.

“We’re obviously not a political band like Rage Against The Machine and we tend to try and make everything be about the music. However it was

something that Christina felt strongly about and something that we were happy to do because it goes towards a good cause.”

Finally, what does the future hold for Lacuna Coil? “Well, we are touring for a bit longer and are going to attempt to come up with ideas for the next album while doing so. We go out to America in January to take part in the 70,000 Tonnes of Metal cruise ship tour with friends like In Flames which should be... fun." There's a pause, then Mozzati begins to laugh wickedly.

"After that we might go back to South America or if things are going well hit the studio to start on the next album.”

It’s fair to say things aren’t slowing down in the Lacuna Coil camp, and fans shouldn’t expect them to be calling it quits anytime soon.

them so much critical acclaim remain intact, creating a sinister sound as he asks, “What are you running from?”

Some might then be thankful for a more upbeat, Villagers-like chorus, but this gratitude won’t last for long. The electronic undercurrent develops a blare of feedback, erupting into half a minute of drumming mayhem that drowns out O’Brien. It’s an exciting comeback, and hopefully the new album, Awayland, will follow suit. The video is also definitely worth a watch (preferably in a dark room).

Daniel Hatt

The only villager in the village

THEALTERNATESIDE.ORG

isn’t a place that many people asICoiltaly sociate with heavy metal, but Lacuna have always been the exception to

Music 25

STAR RATING «««««Palma Violets «««««Ibiza Reds «««««Zante Purples««««« Magaluf Whites «««««Benidorm Pinks

HMV PICTUREHOUSE 9/10/2012

««««« o not be fooled by Natasha Khan’s D air-light, demure recorded vocals as her alias Bat for Lashes on her three

critically acclaimed albums. On stage at the Edinburgh Picture House Khan proves she is a real snake charmer, smiling and shimmying throughout.

Anyone familiar with Khan’s live presence on previous tours, the last being in 2009, will see the evidence of a transformation from the second she walks on stage. Her long glossy hair has been cut into a sleek bob, and in place of the colourful feathers and

face paint is a simple backless grey dress. Her back to basics image by no means implies that her star is fading; she gleams from the minimal staging, decorated only with a few lanterns hanging from the microphone stands.

As it accentuates how much of an effortless and exciting performer she is, with vocals that soar beyond what recording can capture. Her gleaming soprano vocals are pitch perfect yet cathartic, through which Khan seems to find release. And subsequently, the smile doesn’t leave her face for the entire gig.

Khan’s vocal and musical versatility means that there is never a dull moment on stage. She opens the show quietly, sighing the elegant opening of

new track ‘Lilies’, before snatching a drumstick and beating out the driving rhythm on her electric drum pad as the song bursts into life. Her musicianship is clear as she switches between the piano and various other electronic trinkets. However, when she stands alone with only a microphone, she truly shines. While the recorded voices of the choir blast from the stage on the opening of “Oh Yeah”, she twists and turns, snake-like, and charms the crowd into dancing with her. However, Khan’s truly holds the audience in her hand with her voice alone. During “Horses of the Sun”, she proves she is a powerhouse, with vocals that could exorcise demons. The most stripped back performance of the night is ‘Laura’,

with Khan accompanied by only her pianist. The crowd cheer as they recognise the opening chords, and as Khan pours her heart into her vocals, they collectively shed a tear.

Proving that she is all killer and no filler, Khan performs throughout the entirety of the gig, chatting very little with the crowd, only to shyly ask, “How are you?” and “Are you all ready for a dance?” Still, humour sparkles through. When she’s not singing, she’s laughing, or making silly faces at the soundman.

After three commended albums, she now finds herself in the fortunate position of having ample quality material to fill a gig to its brim with firstclass tunes. However, this means that

GAZ COOMBES

TAYLOR SWIFT

«««««

«««««

he first single to come from the T debut solo album, Here Comes the Bombs, by former Supergrass man Gaz

DJANGO DJANGO LIQUID ROOMS 24/10/2012

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F

resh, dynamic, electric. Pinpointing Django Django is near impossible.

The question of what genre they are is the one that makes them so interesting. They could perhaps be compared to the harmonious Metronomy or the thoughtful, upbeat techno waves of Alt-J, yet with undertones that bring to mind Tarantino’s effortlessly cool soundtracks. The fact that they formed at art school in Edinburgh, gives this gig an extra special touch. Their performance on the NME/Radio 1 stage at Leeds Festival earlier this year saw fans, old and new, singing their praises.

They were explosive and surprising, could they continue that form into the smaller venues?

You could try to explain this buzz by facts. Not only have they been nominated for Q’s Best New Act award but their tour is also already a sell out and tonight they set out to prove why.

Tonight’s venue completely contrasts with the relaxed festival feel, and at first it seems like the lead vocals are going to be drowned out by the extremely loud (yet amazing) sound quality. This is a false start.

The gig starts with abstract sci-fi sounds accompanied by prominent military style percussion. This exotic experimental percussion is the core of the show, and it comes across as much more powerful and raw live. Throughout there

Lisa Gilroy break. “I Knew you Were Trouble” also fits in with these themes, however its fast pace emphasises the change that Red sees in Swift's sound. Although “22” is slightly more upbeat, it actually features the words ‘hipster’ and “cool kids”, meaning it feels like Swift is still embroiled in the politics of high school relationships.

“Everything has Changed” sees Swift collaborating with Ed Sheeran in a song that would fit better on a Sheeran album. However, this is not the only collaboration on the album, as she also works with Gary Lightbody, the lead singer of Snow Patrol, on “The Last Time.” The cynics among us would suggest such high profile collaborations were an attempt to make sure that sales were kept steady and her new sound found its way into a different audience.

Overall, Red continues to portray Swift as being boy obsessed and immature while lacking the song writing talent to hold the imagination of an audience.

RED BIG MACHINE

WHITE NOISE EMI

Coombes could not open with any less of a Coombes-brothers vibe if it were a violent rap. Its mellow guitar layered with twinkly chimes sparks panic that maybe Gaz has tried to go in such a different direction from Supergrass that he’s taken a turn for the airy fairy. And let’s face it - nobody with such iconic sideburns would suit that.

But what follows is the opposite, and perhaps he threw the jingle bells in just to trick us all. Once you listen to this enough to get past the ridiculous intro, it becomes exactly like a lighter, dreamier Supergrass. It’s probably how Gaz sounds best, so this spin-off isn’t a bad thing, but it makes the story line all too familiarly Gallagher in its revisiting of past glories.

Elsie Ward

several deserving tracks are passed by. One particular fan begged on more than one occasion, “Please play ‘Sad Eyes’”. Khan merely smiled and methodically plodded on with her set.

Having said that, she packs a lot into her encore, which features her biggest track “Daniel” and fan favourite “Pearl’s Dream”. Despite packing her set full of as many songs as would fit, there is still a lingering impression of a crowd that wants more, which, presumably, is exactly what any musician would want. But for now fans will just have to hope they don’t have to wait too long to be charmed by another of Khan’s live performances.

ith “We Are Never Ever Getting W Back Together” being the first single from Red and the first glimpse of

GAZ COOMBES: Bow down to the almighty sideburns is a beautiful antithesis, an oddly harmonious farrago of surprises. On one side, there are the upbeat electro tracks with continuously shifting rhythms, keeping the crowd on their toes, creating a buzzing atmosphere. On the other hand there are intense parts, especially in the acoustic interlude, where the lead voice and perfect harmonies get centre stage. There is one section which echoes a 12 bar blues jam, here substituted with electro sounds - experimental but never taken too far.

In between songs the band mutter a few welcoming words or reminisce on humorous memories of their Edinburgh student days, giving off a relaxed and likeable mood throughout. After going off into worlds of experimental electro musings that extend into their original tracks, we are brought back with echoes of past played songs or new hits. This is in no way predictable, but just shows the coherent links that defined their album. Surprisingly, “Waveforms” seems to catch the crowd's hearts even more than the most famous track, “Default”, although it is great to hear this hit raw, with more dependence on voice. Overall it is a fantastic gig, with just the right amount of stage time, and an explosive encore. My only complaint would be the overcrowded room, but I’m sure the band would not agree. The “Default” statement, “We just lit the fire and now you want to put it out”, certainly is centered in reality. The fire of their fresh sounds has been lit, and we just can’t wait to hear more.

Courtney Paynter

BASTILLE FLAWS EMI/VIRGIN

««««« hampioned by Greg James on RaC dio 1 and having supported Emeli Sandé at the recent iTunes festival,

Bastille appears to be on the cusp of a breakthrough and “Flaws” could well be the song that launches them into the charts. A bleepy, video game intro gives way to a steady synth line and drum beat that recur throughout the track.

Although quite minimalist in terms

Taylor Swift’s new creation, it was evident from the offset that the previous country girl was planning on taking a whole new direction with this album.

As a follow up to Fearless and Speak Now, Red is certainly the odd one out in terms of sound. The lyrics are somewhat lacking in emotional depth and maturity and she still sounds like the lovesick teenager her critics claim she is. Besides the fact that the repetition of “we are never ever, ever getting back together” in the chorus is annoyingly catchy it is also totally uninventive and a worrying start.

Tracks such as “Treacherous” and “State of Grace” with their lyrics of “we learn to live with pain” and “mosaic broken hearts” emphasise the album's themes of doomed love and heart-

Amanda Fleet

of instrumentation, the effect Bastille are clearly going for is anthemic, made apparent by the four part vocal harmonies of the chorus which call to mind an electronic Mumford & Sons. Lead singer Dan Smith has a strong voice but lyrically the song is fairly empty; the refrain, “There’s a hole in my soul / I can’t fill it / I can’t fill it” provides a nice sing-along chant but is a throwaway cliche. However, "Flaws" is an infectious piece of indie-pop music that, as long as Bastille can successfully distinguish themselves from the crowd, will garner them many new fans.

Jack Skelton

PALMA VIOLETS BEST OF FRIENDS ROUGH TRADE RECORDS

«««««

mooth, velvety, yet edgy with a hint S of punk. Having already graced the cover of NME, performed at the Elec-

tric Circus in Edinburgh and countless other intimate gigs alike, the hype surrounding Palma Violets is telling – and accurate.

"Best of Friends" is catchy, there’s no doubt about that. It feels odd to a band already carrying such great expectations, but the tempo is a little frustrating. It feels as though it should be sped up a bit. It’s a little tame for the band's youth but maybe that’s because you forget you’re not listening to The Vaccines.

“

The hype surrounding Palma Violets is telling - and accurate."

B-side "Last of the Summer Wine" however, with simple melodies and relaxed climax, is a pleasant listen. The lyrics, “Love isn’t easy, that’s just the way it goes” exhibit their care-free attitude.

The video’s simplistic style is pretty darn cute too.

Even if their music doesn’t float your boat – their faces certainly will.

BASTILLE: The latest buzz word

BASTILLE PR

BATS FOR LASHES

GAZ COOMBES PR

RING/ M PARK

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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Kate Walker

Love film? Let us know! Follow us on twitter @TheStudentPaper or on Facebook at facebook.com/TheStudentNewspaper film@studentnewspaper.org

50 years on Her Majesty’s Secret Service

The Student takes a look through fifty years of Bond and select their favourite films from this incomparable franchise

ith the release this week of the W highly-anticipated Skyfall, the writers and staff of The Student look

back over the unbreakable bond between fans and Britain's best-loved, tuxedo-wearing Martini shaker.

CAsino Royale

By Dan Scott lintott

to kill. Starting with one of the best Bond chase scenes to date, complete with the hunky Craig smashing through a dry wall, the film progresses to a surprisingly intense poker game with a fittingly foreign villain. Although the action is pretty stationary, the climax turns into one enormous slow roll where every hand is more ridiculously unlikely than the last. Everything is made that much better by the bad guy’s weird, stereotypical blood-crying eye injury.

The classic Bond suave is suitably supplemented by bits of gritty realism and a horrifying torture scene that gives the audience exactly what they want; a virtually naked Craig.

Despite the full house of action movie tropes, explosions and gratuitous sex, Mr. Craig disguises his hand perfectly and had me, from start to finish, hook, line and sinker.

Octopussy

By Daniel Swain he best James Bond ever is OctoT pussy, based on the metric of sheer volume of women. But aside from that

it holds the title of being the most James Bond a movie can get. The Soviets are the villains, the main plot involves a nuclear bomb, clowns and Faberge eggs, and there are some elephants. The elephants are more Indiana Jones than James Bond, but it’s an added bit of excitement.

The plot works and crucially involves geo-politics in a way that actually makes sense, there’s a hot air balloon, and Q

Skyfall directed by sam mendes  we ever needed a sign that Skyfall is a Itinf‘proper’ bond film, it has an Aston MarDB5. Yeah, that’s right. James Bond

returned to the silver screen in suave fashion last week, following a 4 year hiatus. His last outing, Quantum of Solace, disappointed many critics and fans with its lack of plot, boring villain and limited locales.

Skyfall seeks to remedy these ills with MI6-style efficiency, first offering a range of exciting settings, ranging

JAlen vasquez

brawny and brooding Daniel Craig A sees his first outing as Bond, James Bond re-booted, re-suited and licensed

gets a prominent role in the action.

There’s a floating palace. The action is absolutely outrageous. Roger Moore dresses up as a clown at one point.

I’m aware this is just a list of cool shit that happens in Octopussy. I don’t care, Octopussy is the best ever. Just ask renowned film critic Homer Simpson.

Die another day

By Alasdair Drennan

ee Tamahori's Die Another Day isn’t L an obvious choice for favourite Bond film. In it, Bond is sent to inves-

tigate the connection between a North Korean terrorist and a diamond mogul who is funding the development of an international space weapon.

When it was released in 2002, it received mixed reviews with many complaining that the plot had been sacrificed in favour of lots of flashes and loud bangs; invisible cars and ice palaces and space lasers were perhaps just one step too far from reality. Although Madonna’s theme song is one of the most underrated Bond themes ever, her cameo as a fencing instructor was truly awful.

In spite of all of the criticism, Die Another Day was released when I was 11.

For an 11 year old boy, the over the top gadgets and ridiculous special effects are exactly what you expect from Bond. from Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar through skyscrapers in Shanghai to the boggy wilderness of the Scottish Highlands.

It even features a casino, classic Bond banter.

Next, as opposed to Quantum of Solace’s frankly forgettable Dominic Greene (we had to look that one up) Skyfall presents us with Mr Silva, an eccentric lunatic played to perfection by super-villain specialist Javier Bardem. Finally, in breaking with a long Bond tradition Skyfall fields a complex, character driven plot which remains engaging and works well with the film’s excellent pacing.

Although featuring the cars, guns

you only live twice By sally pugh

F

lesh-eating piranhas, a suave Scotsman and a dastardly villain with a secret base in a volcano – You Only Live Twice is Bond at its most barmy and most brilliant.

The much-parodied film may seem light and cheesy in comparison to today’s grittier vision of Bond but that doesn’t mean that it is not an effective movie.

When it was released in 1967 Connery’s fifth outing as Bond thrilled audiences with audacious scenes set in outer space and an incomparable opening sequence.

A further reason why You Only Live Twice is one the franchise’s most memorable films is its soundtrack. Composed

by John Barry, the film’s score is both luxurious and exciting. It helps transport audiences to the film’s exotic locales so that when we are sitting in a drab small town cinema we can just close our eyes and imagine that we are riding in a speedboat with the most desirable bachelor in the world.

Not only does it have the perfect villain in Sean Bean’s deceitful Alec Trevelyan, but it also boasts a killer Tina Turner opening tune and the first appearance of Judi Dench as the indomitable M. Add to this some post-Cold War Russian antics and a grenade disguised as a pen and you have the recipe for the perfect Bond film. And that isn’t even mentioning the legendary N64 game.

Besides, it is almost an unwritten rule that you love the Bond you grew up with, and as a child of the nineties my love is firmly directed towards the charming, quip-tastic Pierce Brosnan. It’s not so much a man-crush as a full blown Pride and Prejudice-style romance, complete with betrayals (Die Another Day’s invisible car) and heady moments of steamy euphoria (GoldenEye’s tank chase through St Petersburg). Pierce, it’s u + me 2getha 4eva, and GoldenEye is our date movie.

dr. no

By Melissa LawFORD

GOLDENEYE

By Alistair Grant Campbell's GoldenEye is Martin the best James Bond, full stop.

and gadgets that we have come to associate with our favourite super spy, in many ways Skyfall is a rather unusual Bond film. Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes adds a cerebral element to a franchise better known for its action-packed car chases and uninspiring dialogue. This is very much a Bond film for our times where spies are pulled in front of government inquiries and the threat to national security comes from ruptured data streams, not super-weapons capable of destroying the Earth twelve times over.

Skyfall’s only weakness comes from its most obvious facet. As a Bond film it could never be a ground-breaking

he first James Bond film ever T made, Dr. No, introduces Sean Connery as the rugged, daring hero

in the series takes Bond to Jamaica to investigate the deaths of the resident British agent and his secretary. This leads him into the radioactive lair of the classic villain Dr. No ( Joseph Wiseman), with a few ventures into the welcoming arms of iconic Bond girl Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) along the way.

Dr. No has its minor flaws but it is undeniably brilliant as both a film within the Bond franchise and as a film in its own right. It’s tense, thrilling, filled with class action sequences and is coupled with the ultimate theme tune.

These things are all fairly irrelevant if you’re female though, Connery’s brown eyes are enough for most.

On her Majesty's secret Service

By Leo Michelmore

ore people have walked on the M Moon than have played James Bond. That the criminally underval-

ued On Her Majesty’s Secret Service has been denied the acclaim it deserves is largely due to criticism of the performance of the man filling the eponymous role for the first and only time: Lazenby, George Lazenby.

Ignore the haters; this is Bond at its very best. The film has all the ingredients of a classic bond: bad guys to kill, damsels in distress to rescue, as well as featuring two of the best songs of the franchise, with Louis Armstrong’s ‘All the Time in the World’ beautifully complimenting the instrumental title track.

And that’s not all. The film stands alone in the Bond series (with the possible exception of Casino Royale) in showing a different side to Bond, one more complex, more vulnerable and one capable of experiencing genuine emotional loss. And there’s still time for a high-speed bobsleigh chase.

of Ian Fleming’s books.

The adaptation of the sixth novel cinematic masterpiece, but that doesn’t impede it from being a quality piece of film-making. Javier Bardem is predictably brilliant, Judi Dench plays M with her usual class, Ralph Fiennes’ stiff upper lip is greatly appreciated in his new role and Ben Whishaw returns highquality acting, along with token geekiness and a touch of humour to the role of Q, which had previously been filled

by John Cleese bumbling around.

The gold medal place on the acting podium belongs to Daniel Craig, whose event was a comparable marathon to aforementioned sprints. Craig plays a multi-dimensional Bond, portraying Bond’s trademark stubbornness and

“British fortitude”, in the words of M, in addition to smooth wit, a menacing physical presence and a creepy enjoyment of what is fundamentally, a pretty horrible job. As long as Craig remains in the double-O section we know that both our country and the Bond franchise are in safe hands.

Sally Pugh and Daniel Swain

SKYFALL WAS REVIEWed at cineworld

JOANNA LISOWIEC

Tuesday October 30 2012

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Film 27

STAR RATING ««««« Sean Connery «««««Pierce Brosnan ««««« Daniel Craig «««««Roger Moore «««««Timothy Dalton

ROOM 237 DIRECTED BY RODNEY ASCHER ««««« oes anyone else recall with nostalD gia the first time they saw Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 film The Shining? On

the edge of your seat in the darkened cinema or maybe on the couch back in the days of VCR? That opening bird’s eye shot of the little yellow Volkswagen creeping along the fateful road to the isolated Overlook Hotel. Or how about the mouldy woman from the bath? A personal favourite. And surely one of the most memorable climaxes of any horror movie - “Heeere’s Johnny!” (Cue sound of axe hacking chunks out of the door to reveal Jack Nicholson’s grinning face).

Rodney Ascher, director of Room 237 tells us he didn’t make it that far, however, when he saw the movie for the first time at the age of ten he ran out of the cinema after just a few minutes, terrified.

Fast-forward thirty years since its release and Ascher has uncovered a thriving Kubrick subculture. For his debut feature Room 237 Ascher has gathered the most compelling conspiracy theories about what is supposedly hidden in this classic film. Is it about the slaughtering of Native Americans in Colorado? Or perhaps it is really about the Holocaust?

The most outrageous theory of them all is that the film actually disguises a bold admittance of the fact that Stanley Kubrick faked the footage of the moon

landing in 1969.

These ideas don’t come from a bunch of raving lunatics. No, indeed his cast of interviewees includes a history professor, as well as respected journalists and authors; theorists who have constructed maps and diagrams and provided an extended analysis of iconography in the film.

“

For his debut feature Ascher has gathered the most compelling conspiracy theories" The trailer won’t give much away and the director doesn’t endorse or throw away any one theory. We believe every one, each as compelling as the last. Yes, we may be a bit exhausted after the rather lengthy journey through every plausible allegory but in order to keep up we must stay alert. Room 237. Room 2 3 7. 2+3+7= 237, 000 miles = the distance between the Earth and the Moon!

Whoooah....

OK enough, I won’t spoil it. Room 237 is certainly one for the cinephiles among us, a thoughtful and creative film about film. And it’s right up there with The Imposter as being one of the best documentaries of the year so far. If you have never seen The Shining, stick it in the DVD player and then go and watch this film.

Hannah Drennan

Room 237 was reviewed at Filmhouse

I , ANNA DIRECTED BY BARNABY SOUTHCOMBE ««««« arnaby Southcombe's I, Anna is an B interesting film. Under the guise of a neo-noir, the film demonstrates

exemplary vision and intelligence. It is not a simple film by any means. It is complex, confused and invigorating.

Southcombe’s take on the crime drama genre is truly refreshing in a world where stock characters and cliched plot twists are easily regurgitated on cue.

“

Under the guise of a neo-noir, the film demonstrates exemplary vision and intelligence " Based on a novel of the same name

by Elsa Lewin, I, Anna revolves around the separate but interconnecting lives of Anna Welles (Charlotte Rampling) and D.C.I. Bernie Reid (Gabriel Byrne). Beginning in an elevator one morning, Bernie, who is investigating a gruesome murder at the time, is introduced to Anna, whose enigmatic presence seemingly jolts him and draws him to her. Choosing to then track her down, they meet at a singles mixer and hit it off. It’s all pleasant and wonder-

ful. This obscure love story seems to fall into place in a strange, strange way.

Only something’s wrong, something’s definitely wrong, and everything will soon come to a head.

It’s not too complicated a plot but nevertheless Southcombe’s interpretation is so lively and original it’s hard to notice. The film has a psychological edge and an underpinning sentiment that truly resonates. It expresses a state of fact that identity is loose and ever changing; that in each day, each moment, we present ourselves and are defined as such. Each character within the film is fighting the past and the present, to express themselves and discover who they really are. It’s an intriguing sight.

Furthermore, what makes I, Anna work is that it is never over the top. It isn’t sensationalist. Southcombe has created a distinct, gritty realism. It’s all true to life. This isn’t the story of a fantasy supercop who defeats the bad guy. No one is bad. No one is that good.

In fact, every character is weird and confusing. They simply don’t conform to the broader state of things. It’s transparent. They are themselves. Nothing more.

In summary, I,Anna is not just another great addition to the neo-noir canon. It is a great film in its own right.

It has its own identity and voice, and should be defined by it.

emastering has become a R household concept. Some might say it’s merely a cash grab, but

Oliver MacMahon

I, Anna was reviewed at Filmhouse as part of the Scottish Mental Health Arts & Film Festival 2012

The king of Halloween horror HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET

Lewis McLellan tries to explain the constant appeal of the works of Stephen King

which together have grossed staggering amounts and he is the recipient of dozens of awards. What is it about his writing that keeps us coming back?

It can’t be the plots. Somehow King manages to be both utterly predictable and totally unbelievable. This combination sounds almost impressive but frankly it’s lazy. King has found a formula that works. Or, if it doesn’t work, one that sells. He creates a ludicrously contrived situation in which to isolate some characters and pit them against some type of danger, allowing them to interact and then overcome the peril.

The Mist, The Happening and The Stand all follow this pattern and there are many others.

“

Almost all horror films have a pitiable level of realism ... King seems to have worked out the balance that sells the best" There are certainly exceptions to this rule. The Shining and The Green Mile are two of my favourite books and movies.

In the former case though, this owes more to the direction and acting than the original material. In fact, the plot of The Shining is by far the weakest aspect of the book and fits the King mould rather neatly.

HERE’S JOHNNY: Jack Nicholson has to make an emergency entrance after forgetting the key to room 237 King’s characters are just as prepackaged. They endlessly prop up stereotypes and are carefully flawed in an unimaginative attempt to challenge our misconceptions. It’s perfectly crafted to push the emotional buttons we all have.

And the core of all of King’s work, the horror itself, is just the same. It’s not going to push any boundaries. It scares the audience in the most comfortable way and we keep coming back for more.

Somehow, it all works together and makes strangely compelling viewing.

The characters flatter you with their inadequacies and petty arguments. The viewer is frustrated by their stupidity and

congratulates himself that he wouldn’t act like that in the situation. The plot is just the same. It’s unconvincing but we suspend our disbelief and get carried along with it. When the credits roll, the movie will likely not stand up to much scrutiny but, while it lasts, it’s hard to look away.

Maybe all horror movies have an element of this. Almost all have a pitiable level of realism. Perhaps that’s a good thing though. A convincing horror movie (and I’m sure there are some) could be genuinely upsetting. King seems to have worked out the balance that sells the best. We go in order to be scared but only in a comfortable and

predictable way.

It’s like eating Haribo. If our body needs a chemical then our brain makes us crave things that contain it. Something about Haribo makes it impossible to tell when you’ve had enough. We keep eating well beyond the point of potential benefit because they tap into something we crave. King seems to have managed to find an equivalent in the storytelling business. It doesn’t nourish or enlighten but we keep going to the movies anyway because it’s familiar, comforting, it flatters us and satisfies a craving we all seem to have.

PLANETIVY.COM

tephen King is one of the most S prolific writers in Hollywood. His writing has been made into movies

it can serve a higher purpose too.

Filmmaking is all about transforming what’s on set into what you see on screen, and that’s a long process full of variables. There’s plenty of opportunity for what is, from a technical perspective at least, error.

Remastering is an opportunity to correct past mistakes, improve upon technological weaknesses and, yes, sell more tickets for the movie your parents might have seen in cinemas.

Every technical or creative decision has the opportunity to transform the ‘real world’ on set into something completely different.

Sometimes it’s a matter of creative destruction; the construction of a very real moment that actually isn't on set. Think about white balance and exposure. These have a lot to do with whether we see something as happy or horrific. But other times there are unintended results, misprints, and incapable bits of technology.

In any case, capture leads to postproduction, and eventually on set activity is translated into a master copy. That gets duplicated for distribution, another case of copying a copy. Popcorn is sold. Eventually, all that stuff gets set aside to gather dust, and the industry begins to innovate. That’s where the remaster comes in.The filmmaking equivalent of dealing with an unwanted tattoo.

Every frame is recaptured, and past mistakes are either scrubbed away or covered up, a twenty-fourth of a second at a time.

The hopeful result is something more true to life, maybe more spectacular and something that won’t make your eyes bleed when upscaled into unforgiving high definition.

But who cares? Skin tones can be off, and a bit of grain is endearing.

Imperfections are a reflection of a film’s time. Better to keep true to creative decisions and technical limitations. Visual artefacts may be part of a film’s original charm, and it’s better to avoid errors introduced as a result of meddling.

Even so, there’s an opportunity to be considered. Remastering can make the difference between admiring a well-polished trophy and getting distracted by tarnish. Lawrence of Arabia recently got this treatment.

It was featured in Prometheus, got a remaster, and a re-release. The whole thing generated enough momentum that plenty of people got to see it in cinemas, as intended.

Remastering brings the viewer closer to what the film was always meant to be, or always could have been, or what it has the opportunity to become. High definition, perfect coloration, zero grit. Remastering lets us hold on to classics a bit longer, and show them off once more to younger generations. Let’s take one excuse away, put an old trophy on the mantle, and throw a party.

Zack O'Leary

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

28

Paid for by the Edinburgh University Students’Association

A message from the EUSA president James McAsh defends the right to protest on campus LAST WEEK saw an unprecedented curbing of the right to protest on campus. On Wednesday evening the Israeli ambassador to the UK, Daniel Taub, was invited by the Politics and International Relations Society to speak on the conflict in Israel-Palestine. This is not itself problematic: student societies are free to invite people from a wide variety of political perspectives, and the process of doing so raises the level of political debate on campus. However, the circumstances surrounding the event were far from appropriate.

The event was open only to members of a select grouping of societies: Politics Society, Model UN, and Jewish Society.

Of course, societies are free to restrict attendance of their events as they see fit. However, the really worrying issue is that this was not a decision taken by the society, but an order issued by the University. In other words, the University decided who would be welcome. It was also very noticeable that Students for Justice in Palestine, the only society on campus to explicitly focus on this conflict, was not invited.

Heightened security measures

curtailed the right to protest against the ambassador. There must have been close to a hundred police officers around Bristo Square, shutting off parts of the university to the student population and keeping the demonstrators outside. The security checks in place for the attendees were also draconian.

Students needed to present two forms of identification alongside their ticket.

They then had to leave their belongings in a make-shift shed in the quad before going into the building. They were then searched before being allowed into the lecture theatre.

It is hard to see how this was productive or necessary. I don’t believe that any serious threat to the ambassador’s safety or life would have been removed by these measures. The intention was to intimidate the audience members and demonstrators outside to restrict the ability to meaningfully challenge his ideas. This kind of behaviour is unacceptable in an institution which is supposed to promote the free exchange of ideas.

The event itself did not end up being such a free exchange either. Almost

immediately after the ambassador had begun speaking he was shouted down by protesters who had managed to get into the room. Other members of the audience responded by shouting back and the demonstrators began to chant.

The result was a loud and hostile environment where the ambassador was unable to speak. University security did nothing to remove anyone from the theatre so the event continued like this until the ambassador left.

We must defend the right to protest.

We have the right to protest the Israeli state and its representatives. However, this should not be at the expense of others’ rights. Just as pro-Palestine demonstrators have the right to protest, so too has the Politics Society the right to invite the Israeli Ambassador to speak.

However, when the express intention of a political action is to shut down the rights of expression of a particular group of people then we enter into dangerous territory. I am pro-choice but I don’t want to see pro-life activists banned from campus; I am a socialist but do not want to remove the rights of the Conservatives and the Labour Par-

$ £ €

ty to express themselves. A key reason for this is that, while Edinburgh University is currently broadly supportive of these progressive values it may not be forever, and when my views, or those of the Palestine solidarity movement, are in the minority I do not want to see them banned.

George Orwell is right: “If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear”. He said this not because he was desperate to protect the rights of reactionaries, but because he knew what the risks were to progressive movements. We cannot allow the university to restrict our liberty, and we should not restrict our own either.

We know money causes a lot of worry. The Advice Place can help. We’re coming to a campus near you on the dates below, so pop by our stand on the following dates for top money saving tips and freebies.

Thu 1 Nov: Tue 6 Nov: Thu 8 Nov: Thu 15 Nov: Tue 20 Nov: Thu 22 Nov:

Potterrow Little France KB ECA Easter Bush Main Library, George Square

For more information on how to get advice, visit www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/advice

P ¥

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STAR RATING

««««« Watch immediately «««««Pretty good «««««It'll do «««««Passable «««««Complete rubbish

The girls are back in town

JACK ON THE BOX

O

Hannah Clapham-Clark looks at the new generation of women trying to make it in New York

«««««

T

his year the star and writer of Girls, Lena Dunham, has been littered with award nominations and various accolades. This month she signed a lucrative, and much discussed, book deal rumoured to be worth over $3 million.

This week, Dunham also caused controversy amongst many American conservatives with a video that described her 'first time' with Barack Obama.

She has shot to fame, but it seems for all the right reasons. She’s not slept with that guy who’s in that sitcom, she’s not starred in her own reality shit-storm; at the age of 26 she is famous for being talented.

It may seem I am focussing on Dunham rather than the actual show; but she is the show. She plays Hannah, an aspiring writer living in New York. She

THE LISTENING PROJECT BBC Radio 4 Friday, 4:55pm

«««««

T

here’s something very intriguing about the private conversations of others. The three snippets of discussion broadcast by The Listening Project allow us to listen in to such personal moments. Members of the public are recorded chatting to someone close to them, about some intimate topic that they have never discussed together before. Inspired by a similar scheme in the US, these conversations are being collected in a joint venture between Radio 4 and the British Library.

All of the full length recordings will be archived as part of their oral history section and the idea is that future generations will be able to marvel over the things that were important to the people of early 21st century Britain.

For now, though, the nosy listener is able to find out some of the most intimate thoughts and feelings of complete strangers.

Conversations are selected from those that have been sent in and then edited down from as long as an hour to just a few minutes. They capture the spirit of the conversation and, consequently, beautiful moments emerge, such as a husband telling his wife that he still finds her the most attractive woman in the room even after her breast cancer surgery.

Unlike many oral history projects, these people are not being interviewed by anyone outside the relationship. As a result, they are having the conversations that really matter to them with

“

She is a new watermark for twentysomething women that has been need for, well, ever."

It’s not driven by fashion and cocktails. Their lives are imperfect, awkward, stark and truthful. It captures being completely overwhelmed by your twenties, on the edge of being an actual grown up but not yet mature enough to handle independence.

Hannah has just been cut off financially from her parents, to which her rational reaction is “I could be a drug the people that really matter.

This may range from recounting anecdotes, dealing with ever present issues or working through new ideas.

What is simultaneously amazing and touching is the commonality of the subjects - over the weeks the same subjects have come up again and again: death, friendship, family, sexuality.

“

Beautiful moments emerge, such as a husband telling his wife that he still finds her the most attractive woman in the room even after her breast cancer surgery."

Yet different circumstances make every one unique, whether it is the siblings recalling the jail sentence of the brother, or the devoted old couple their arranged marriage.

Of course, like eavesdropped conversations in the real world, one is not going to find every conversation equally fascinating. Last week’s episodes were rather couple heavy, which seemed a shame as there are so many other types of relationship to focus on, and some people can be plain old boring.

Yet the idea is a charming one and the vignettes can brighten a day, for as the presenter Fi Glover remarks, they are like “vitamins for the soul”.

Lia Sanders

GIRLS: Apparently they don't just want to have fun addict, do you know how lucky you are?”.

This marks the start of a change. Her promising internship is a dead end, her room mate is becoming disillusioned with her whimsy, and she’s seeing someone she’s not convinced even likes her. It seems that the romantic notion of single life in the Big Apple more often than not involves uncomfortable fumbles in a dingy apartment rather than multiple orgasms and cigarettes.

THE WORK EXPERIENCE E4 Thursday, 9:30pm

«««««

T

ea making it ain’t in E4’s new sitcom which places real life interns in a farcical and fictional fashion agency, pranking and prodding the impressionable scamps to see exactly how far they’ll go to get the job of their dreams.

Grade PR, the fictional fashion agency in question, is presented as a stylish and happening hangout where models, pop stars and fashionistas mix: the perfect place for people pursuing a place in the industry to begin their career. Kind of.

Headed by bitch-with-a-Blackberry Joanna Grade (Kate Miles) who wears shoulder pads to rival Tim Tebow and a sour, dour permafrown, the staff at Grade PR are a risible bunch.

Also present and smartly scripted, but hardly ground-breaking, are the smug and sleazy ‘dick-swinging’ American Colby Brown (Sean Power), the flamboyant northern banshee Shussi (Ryan Sampson), and nice but dim and dowdy Susan Butler (Diane Morgan) who all at various points seek to summon delirious bemusement from their unaware interns.

Though The Work Experience’s intention is clearly to make light of the situation and draw attention to the excruciatingly flawed logic of unpaid days at pretentious media outlets by using ‘actual’ interns and, therefore, raising a chuckle or two (two chuckles was my personal count), it’s hard to see how much difference they make to the show.

HBO

GIRLS

Sky Atlantic HD Monday, 10pm

has three friends; Marnie, the best friend that knows her all to well; Shoshanna, who struggles with her piety, and Jessa, the annoying laid back one. OK, so it may all sound a bit too similar to that other show that shall remain nameless.

Bit it's not. Girls is far superior. Why? Because it’s real.

She may be a bit flabby and have a few dodgy tattoos, but Hannah is witty, intelligent, bright, normal and completely hilarious. She has the one-liners that Liz Lemon would be proud of, but, more importantly, she is a new watermark for twenty-something women that has been needed for, well, ever. It’s beautifully crafted, never sentimental and genuinely funny.

The trope of including real life people in barmy, scripted situations is a fashionable technique, akin to that of found footage in teen horror movies, and here it falls flat.

“

Headed by bitchwith-a-Blackberry Joanna Grade who wears shoulder pads to rival Tim Tebow and a sour, dour permafrown, the staff at Grade PR are a risible bunch."

The best moments are scripted. The reactions of the interns to silly situations are not the expected comedy gold but rather calm, reasonable and optimistic responses. This is part of the reason why the pranks get increasingly ridiculous, balancing out the co-operative demeanour of the teenagers, Thomas and Aquila.

The slapstick script; from blackingup albino models to purposefully ruining fashion lines, places the interns in a position of inescapable blame, having to wriggle out of trouble before eventually being fired.

By the time the twist is revealed that they’re actually part of an elaborate hoax and that they’ll both be offered real jobs in the same industry, the joke is decidedly out of fashion and the sentiment, like the opportunity to highlight the work experience issue, wasted.

As the episode’s cameo star Lethal Bizzle would say “Leave it, yeah?”

Jack Murray

ne of my most vivid childhood memories is that of me trudging down carpeted stairs to find my mother crying, in a fluffy dressing gown, in front of the television.

There she was, my co-creator, wobbling lips and puffy eyes, staring at a black screen with yellow writing that was crudely screaming “Princess Diana Dies in Paris Car Crash” – whimpering at a box that was screening Royal misery into our tiny front room.

Previously, my relationship with the black screen with yellow writing was one of quiet voyeurism, sneakily peeking over Granddad’s shoulder and pretending to understand the horse racing results that he so delighted in. I never expected people to cry over it. It was just, after all, a black screen with yellow writing.

I was a precocious six year old, relatively ambivalent about the death of anyone, never mind a stranger and so what stuck with me was not necessarily where I was when Princess Diana died, but rather where I was when I saw my mum cry over something that wasn’t a family christening.

Ceefax had made her cry. Before she’d flip to news reporters wiping away tears and celebrities mourning in their morning-wear, she felt it necessarily to consult the black screen with yellow writing – the quick, clear expression of rolling daily news.

As of last week, Ceefax ceased to exist. Increasingly a clumsy antique, squashed by red buttons and Twitter and the internet and 24-hour news channels, Ceefax slowly became an accidental option: the page that appeared when you sat on your remote or when your Sky wasn’t working and you were too lazy to get up and fix the thing.

In a digital age, Ceefax sucked.

We demand, we urge and we hurry.

We don’t want to search or follow an index, we want it crystallised and talking. We want it from the mouth of a handsome reporter, assisted with Technicolour graphics, not on a black screen with yellow writing.

As the world has got more miserable, the reportage has got glossier.

Compensating for the horror of a dark decade of international idiocy, our media melts grisly facts into colourful packages; our news channels now house hoards of grinning blondes, laminate faces and gaudy, distracting pie charts.

If Sky News makes you cry, it’s not because of the simplicity of its morbid message but the maddening display of phoney humanity.

Ceefax was the faceless truth: night black and lightning yellow, a bolt of alphabet veracity that refused to manipulate or masquerade. It couldn’t fake emotion. It couldn’t bend agendas.

But with honest font, it could make children hug their mothers, and remember it forever. R.I.P. Jack Murray

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

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30 TV

DEAD GOOD JOB

Joe Patten takes a look at the return of BBC 4’s latest underground success: Getting On

divorce proceedings, which of course she inevitably discovers.

The exploration of such private issues has become an ever more prominent tactic for the show these days as it increasingly reverses the ‘bring your work back home with you’ tag.

“

Getting On is the antithesis of the surgically sterilised view of hospitals that you'll find in a show like Scrubs, and its gritty realism makes ‘fly on the wall’ sitcoms like The Office seem like a relative pantomime."

GETTING ON: Your not so mainstream hospital show

GETTING ON BBC 4 Wednesday, 10pm

«««««

I

f Waiting for Godot is the play where nothing happens, twice; then Getting On is the sitcom where nothing happens, ever. Last Wednesday saw the second episode of its third series broadcast, and BBC Four’s sleeper hit

NIGEL SLATER'S DISH OF THE DAY BBC 1 Friday , 7:30pm

«««««

D

uring this thirty-minute production Slater cooks five “quick and simple” meals that can be easily replicated by even the humblest of cooks.

Although the ingredients he uses may seem complicated at first, his philosophy is not. Anyone can cook as long as they give the food the love and attention he believes it deserves.

In other series, Slater has championed home growing by visiting allotments and promoted regional quality by touring different parts of Britain, part of his “dig-in” campaign.

This time there is no grand scheme, except a celebration of the independent retailer; at first this may seem slightly contrived, but once one comes to accept Nigel for the pure unadulterated culinary genius that he is, it becomes a veritable pleasure to watch him mince around the kitchens of the local butcher, greengrocer and fishmonger.

At times one does feel that an element of spice is needed in the rich and intense nature of Slater’s presentation, and the soundtrack does just this; it adds a vivacity that really brings the whole affair to fruition, like tasting an icy cold, palate cleansing amuse-bouche

BBC

O

n September 19 2005, an unknown, yet decidedly different, sitcom debuted on American television. What set it apart? It was a love story in reverse. Set in 2030 and told through flashbacks to the present day, the entire show was about middle-aged Ted sitting down with his kids and telling them in minute detail how he met their mother when he was a young man living in New York City.

With a cast which included a love interest (Robin), two engaged best friends (Marshall and Lily), and everyone’s favourite sociopath (Barney), the show attracted a lot of critical attention. The unique narrative structure and Future Ted’s unreliable voice allowed the writers to do many interesting things conventional sitcoms couldn’t.

A running gag in early seasons was Future Ted saying “now I wasn’t actually there kids, but Robin/ Lily/Marshall swears this is how it happened”, followed by one of the characters performing something of physically impossible proportions.

The show was a ratings success and was renewed for a second season before the first had even ended.

It’s now 2012. How I Met Your Mother has just begun its eighth season, and it is tired. Lame and tired. We still haven’t even met the mother. This would be fine if there was any rhyme or reason apparent in the show’s overall story arc, except by now it’s blindingly obvious that there’s not.

The writers’ strategy, such as it is, consists of one trick: throw a deadend relationship at Ted, ride it out for a while, then write the girl out of the show as if she never existed.

Repeat as needed.

This was fine early on. There used to be faith that the show’s writers knew what they were doing, that despite all the Victorias and Stellas and Zoeys who got in the way, the threads would eventually come together and deliver the Mother to us in all her angelic glory.

They haven’t. Instead, the show seems desperate to prolong its own existence by keeping the characters in a kind of stasis which has barely changed in eight years. Ted’s still single; Robin’s still avoiding commitment however she can; and Barney... well, he’s still Barney. Hell, it took them three whole seasons to finally give Lily and Marshall a baby.

We need it to move forward. This isn’t Two and a Half Men, where the writers can get away with having bugger-all standards in terms of plot and story arcs. There’s a self-awareness of a story being told here by Future Ted, which isn’t just stagnating but coming dangerously close to contradicting its own chronology.

Those kids in 2030 look at least 17 years old. It’s now 2012. Tick tock, Ted. It used to be a prize stallion. Now How I Met Your Mother is the horse you want to shoot, because watching it limp toward the finish line is just painful. If you’re even sure it’s going to get there at all.

Michael Hannan

Just getting better and better and better

STEFAN ROUSSEAU/PA

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

reaffirmed its status as a cult classic with an episode dense with the pitch black humour that has become its trademark.

For those who may not have previously noticed it buried away in the TV listings, Getting On documents the often monotonous, dull and tedious daily routine experienced on the ward of an NHS hospital.

Nurses Kim Wilde (Jo Brand) and Dex Fletcher (Joanna Scanlan) are trapped in a world of endless paperwork and suffocating bureaucracy as they try to muddle their way through their shifts, and are joined on Ward K2 by

the haughty Dr Pippa Moore (Vicki Pepperdine), the hospital's elderly care consultant.

Much of the dark comedy in this episode arises from this doctor/nurse relationship as Dr Moore can be, to put it mildly, not particularly subtle when it comes to face to face communication with her colleagues, who in turn don’t necessarily hold her in the highest regard, professionally or personally.

A notion testified by the nurses’ impish online research into the new girlfriend of Dr Moore’s estranged husband whilst she is in the middle of her

between a rich starter and main.

Therefore, Dish of the Day is never a low calorie affair and it is impossible to resist the sense of indulgent comfort encouraged by Slater, as he softly pads around his brilliantly chic kitchen with jugs of cream and handfuls of butter.

“

Although the ingredients he uses may seem complicated at first, his philosophy is not. Anyone can cook as long as they give the food love and attention he believes it deserves."

As he rubs a thick marinate into a meaty chicken breast, or he tastes his oozing risotto, the warmth that emanates from his kitchen is almost tangible.

Although many people may feel as though the art of hearty home cooking is a thing of the past, a somewhat passé tradition, in this reviewers' eyes Slater has more than brought it back to life.

His theatrical embrace of excess and total immoderation has endeared him to the nation and made him the leading television cook that he is today.

Ben Lebus

THE REUNION BBC Radio 4 Friday, 9am

«««««

D

olly the sheep, the first animal successfully cloned from the cell of an adult mammal, is now an established part of modern scientific history and, of course, Scotland’s own development. A minute from campus you can see her in stuffed form at the National Museum of Scotland.

However, her existence was not always accepted with such equanimity and, following the death of leading scientist Professor Keith Campbell, it is curious to consider how controversial the news was when it broke fifteen years ago.

This series sets out to reunite the movers and shakers involved in a key moment of the recent past; in this case it’s the team that created Dolly. There is a brief summary of the events leading up to her creation before starting on the classic Radio 4 panel interview - occasionally broken up by news-reports from the time and cheeky snatches of song from the original Dolly (a certain Ms Parton).

Despite not delving into the subject in great depth, it initially proves hard to follow for a complete rookie in the field of cloning, particularly when all the dif-

In this episode for instance, we see Dex’s pregnancy dilemma unfold – she doesn’t really want a baby, however, the work benefits - the leave, the flexible hours and most enticingly, a new fridge, - might just persuade her otherwise.

Getting On is the antithesis of the surgically sterilised view of hospitals that you’ll find in a show like Scrubs, and its gritty realism makes ‘fly on the wall’ sitcoms like The Office seem like a relative pantomime, so why it hasn’t followed in the footsteps of BBC Four’s previous comedy successes and gone mainstream is puzzling. Yet it is something that will surely be rectified as long as Getting On keeps on getting better. ferent sheep names start popping up.

There’s Polly and Molly and Megan and Morag and it all sounds a bit like a nursery rhyme.

“

It initially proves hard to follow for a complete rookie in the field of cloning, particularly when all the different sheep names start popping up."

What proves fascinating though is the world’s reaction to the revelation of the cloned triumph. It became front-page news, much to the surprise of those involved.

One of the scientists jokes that this was because it had been a slow news year for Britain. Another crucial factor, however, was the sensationalistic approach of the media. With sci-fi style fears spiralling out of control, the scientists found themselves at the heart of a controversy about human cloning.

Finally, the programme links these fears to attitudes to scientific developments today, making us think intelligently and thoughtfully about the relationship between the public and the lab.

Lia Sanders

Sport fan? Write for us! sport@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday October 30 2012 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 31 BUCS Standings 14th Bristol 15th Edinburgh 16th Cardiff

797 789 780

Edinburgh Points Breakdown 1st Hockey 137 2nd Fencing 100 3rd Lacrosse 84

4th 5th 6th

Rugby Union Basketball Tennis

83 72 70

Wednesday 24th October Results Edinburgh 1st 17-9 Newcastle 1st (Men's Water Polo) Robert Gordon 1st 4-4 Edinburgh 3rd (Men's Hockey)

Edinburgh 3rd 3-1 Heriot-Watt 1st (Women's Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 4-0 Glasgow 1st (Women's Hockey) Edinburgh 1st 0-5 Newcastle 1st (Women's Rugby Union) Edinburgh 1st 92-39 Dundee 1st (Women's Basketball) Edinburgh 2nd 49-56 Dundee 2nd

(Men's Basketball) Edinburgh 3rd 0-3 St Andrews 1st (Men's Football) Edinburgh 4th 2-2 St Andrews 2nd (Women's Hockey) Abertay 1st 5-1 Edinburgh 2nd (Men's Football) St Andrews 1st 11-4 Edinburgh 2nd (Women's Lacrosse)

Injury Time

TAKES A WRY LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT

Rowers face Olympic champions

ROW STOPPING THEM: EUBC at the Diamond Jubilee Rowing Championships. Gavin Murty and Kieran Borwn (left) came third in their race EARLIER THIS month, the Edinburgh University Boat Club (EUBC) sent a strong contingent down south to contest their very first Diamond Jubilee Rowing Championships, held on the Olympic course at Eton Dorney.

The event, which featured a large number of the rowers that made up the Great Britain rowing team at this summer’s London Games, was a great opportunity to celebrate an excellent year for the sport.

The Edinburgh team entered nine crews: six doubles and three quads spilt between the women and the men. These

were the elite of the rowers at Edinburgh, with this race a prerequisite for anyone wishing to trial for the Great Britain team later this season.

All the Edinburgh athletes were up against the very best British rowing has to offer. Olympic medal winners abounded, with the doubles crews of Jo Smith and Georgina Grandfield and Becky McGreevy and Izzy Jones finding themselves up against Olympic gold medal winner Katherine Copel in their first race of the weekend.

However, the Edinburgh crews acquitted themselves well, with many of

the doubles finding themselves amongst the top-ranked boats in their respective categories.

The university's best performance came from Gavin Murty and Kieran Brown, both current GB under-23 athletes, who came third in Under-23 Lightweight Doubles.

On the second day the quad events took centre stage. Edinburgh’s crews again found themselves up against stiff competition, with Olympic champions contesting the top categories for their respective clubs.

However, results were respectable all

EUBC

EUBC captain Ronan Murphy reports from the Diamond Jubilee Rowing Championships

round, with Edinburgh’s finest event occurring in the Open Lightweight Quad. James Scott and Kenny Liu joined Brown and Murty for the race, which resulted in an impressive sixth place finish for the EUBC. Overall, the weekend’s racing was a strong signal of intention from all involved. The event was a great opportunity for Edinburgh’s athletes to test themselves against the best British talent, and will have laid some strong foundations for the EUBC rowers in what is hoped to be a successful season to come.

Don’t kick unity out of football DESPITE THE boycott of the Kick It Out campaign last weekend by leading black footballers such as Joleon Lescott and the Ferdinand brothers, Peter Odemwingie has announced his support for the project and confirmed he would wear the t-shirt that has caused such controversy of late.

Despite what Kick It Out describes as twelve months of ‘hurt’ in the English game after that fateful day at Loftus Road, Odemwingie’s story is a poignant reminder that, despite the recent difficulties and complacency of racism in football, the sport remains an important worldwide force in promoting tolerance and inclusivity.

Though much work is still to be done, the foundation of this progress has been built upon an extraordinary unified desire to face up the issue right across the game, and at this defining moment, unity must be maintained.

One can only hope that talk of a separate black players union is premature.

Odemwingie signed for West Brom from Lokomotiv Moscow, where he had regularly been the victim of racial abuse by a minority of Russian fans.

When he left, a banner was placed in the stadium with the message ‘Thanks West Brom,’ accompanied by a picture of a banana. A move to the Premier League gave Odemwingie a chance to

CELBRATE: Odemwingie has highlighted reasons to be positive escape the abuse and enjoy his football, the freedom firing him to being one of the hottest properties in the division.

His comments in support of Kick It Out were issued at the opening of a national exhibition at the Public Gallery in West Bromwich called ‘Out Of Africa,’ which celebrates the contribution African footballers have made to the game in this country. In the wake of the brutal abuse suffered by Danny Rose in Serbia, it is a timely reminder of how far English football has come in combating the kind of abuse that blighted the game decades ago.

However, recent events have also starkly exposed just how far English

THE VOICE

Phil Smith says that football and its authorities must stay united in their fight against racism

football has to travel to eradicate racism altogether. The last twelve months have been a severe wake up call for all of us who believed it was no longer a problem. Rio and Anton Ferdinand were right to talk of the “deep divisions” the John Terry scandal has caused, and there is still little to no explanation as to why it took a full year for the England captain to be disciplined.

Crucially, it has highlighted some fundamental flaws in the Kick It Out scheme that must be addressed. Many believe that those involved in the programme were incensed by Rio Ferdinand’s exclusion from the Euro 2012 squad, but given that it receives most of

its funding from the FA, was extremely reluctant to raise its concerns in the public domain. The organisation's silence was the cause of much of the grievances held by black footballers across the country last weekend.

Such dissatisfaction was understandable, as the lack of strong and swift action taken against Terry highlighted the complacency that has crept into the footballing authorities and the wider community. In boycotting the project’s month of action, the likes of Jason Roberts have got people talking about racism in football again, an admirable achievement given that the debate is more important now than it ever has been.

Talk of a separate black players union surely stems from Kick It Out’s lack of real power, so it is time for either the PFA or the FA to meet these needs head on to prevent a devastating split in the game. The picture, then, is not a rosy one, but it is crucial to remember Peter Odemwingie’s story and be mindful that for all the current difficulties and recent injustices, the English game remains one of the most inclusive in the world. This has been built on a bedrock of unity and collective action, and if the further progress that is so badly needed is to be achieved, it must be maintained.

IT WAS another week of disappointment and resounding ineptitude for the European representatives of the Premier League – or, as many have taken to calling it, The Most Exciting League The World Has Ever Seen.

On Tuesday night an embarrassingly tame Old Trafford was treated to another viewing of Manchester United’s totally revolutionary diamond formation, which just about ticked along functionally enough to scrape a victory against the Portuguese league’s third best club. Nerves ultimately got to Sporting Braga, but not until they had managed to easily stick two past the desperately immobile and extremely boring-looking centre back pairing of Jonny Evans and Michael Carrick.

Elsewhere, a poorly prepared Chelsea were comprehensively deconstructed by Shakhtar Donetsk’s fun bunch of Ukrainian-Brazilian wundakids. Whilst they may now have enough pretty miniature playmakers to turn over Norwich with relative ease, it seems to be slowly dawning on the Londoners that their team of Spain’s third choice forward line and John Obi Mikel may not quite have what it takes to luck out again in Europe. Mascot Roberto Di Matteo will hope for increased concentration in their next fixture, by which time his players’ amusement at Captain Leader Legend John Terry’s ‘Unite Against Racism’ armband may at least have worn off slightly.

Wednesday’s games proved even less fruitful. Average German team Schalke were required to demonstrate just a tiny inclination of interest in their fixture in order to defeat a depressingly listless Arsenal 2-0. The London side’s bumbling calamity of a night was best summed up when Santi Cazorla found Gervinho in space with an excellent pass, only for the amusing Ivorian to run full pelt into a defender and tumble hilariously into the ground.

But the biggest travesty undoubtedly occurred over in Amsterdam, where Manchester City were befuddled by a combination of a zippy Ajax team and manager Roberto Mancini’s weird attempt to try out two different defensive formations in the space of five minutes. He appeared relatively unsurprised to see his team ship three goals, amongst which was a particularly poorly defended header from a corner that provoked poor Robbie Savage into an increasingly flustered and tactically unfounded rant on the zonal marking system.

The next day, Premier League stalwarts Gabby Obertan and Stewart Downing nicked a couple of European wins for the English, albeit in a competition which looks increasingly second rate. Not that the same could be said about England’s top teams, of course.

Piers Barber

Sport

Tuesday October 30 2012

studentnewspaper.org

Testing their mettle

Ronan Murphy watches Edinburgh’s rowers compete against Olympic champions

30

Clansmen too strong for Predators Thomas Halsey watches the Edinburgh Predators suffer defeat on the first day of the American Football season

The second half was less eventful as players from both sides tired. Ian Buerger made another interception as the two offences struggled to make inroads, but eventually Stirling re-asserted themselves and, when a 50 yard break from their running back gave them possession in Edinburgh territory, they created space on the right and ran in from 25 yards out.

Mens American Football British University's American Football League (Border Conference) Saturday 27th October

STIRLING CLANSMEN’S powerful offence proved too much for Edinburgh as they started the season with a comfortable win at Peffermill on Saturday.

After racing to an early 30-0 lead, the visitors’ progress was checked by two well-worked Edinburgh touchdowns, but in the end the power and variation of their running game told and they ran out 68-12 winners.

Edinburgh’s defence had seemed systematically sound, but unnecessary missed tackles allowed Stirling’s athletic running backs to consistently make yards.

Stewart Adam, head coach of the Edinburgh team, believes the team’s lack of experience was the key factor.

“It was a disappointing result for us,” he said, “but Stirling had four pre-season warm up fixtures, and this was the first ever game for some of our guys. We seemed a bit shell shocked out there, and we’ll need to front up physically

LUCY ANTROBUS

Edinburgh Predators 12 Striling Clansmen 68

CRUNCH TIME: But the Edinburgh Predators’ defence was unable to withstand the Clansmen’s offence for the Glasgow fixture in two weeks’ time.”

Stirling’s first drive down the field looked promising, but some strong defensive work from Edinburgh held them to fouth and 16. Sloppy defence on the final play however let Stirling run the ball in from the 20 yard line, and as their running backs repeatedly

broke through tackles they scored three further touchdowns to open up a 30-0 lead early in the second quarter.

Edinburgh, though, found some form before half-time. Quarterback Ben Pope threw for two first downs on the way to an opening score, and when an interception from defensive back Ian Buerger gave Predators possession

around the halfway line, Pope threw a twenty yard touchdown pass between two defenders to leave the game at 3012.

After that Stirling took control of the game again, and an 80 yard touchdown run, followed by another score, helped them into a 44-12 lead at the break.

“

Stirling had four pre-season fixtures and this was the first ever game for some of our guys" Steward Adam, Edinburgh Head Coach

A fumbled punt return gave Edinburgh the ball deep in opposition territory, but after a dropped pass in the end-zone Stirling won possession back and the chance was gone. By now the visitors’ defence was shutting down the Edinburgh running game at source, and they scored twice more late on to complete the win.

Edinburgh Predators play Glasgow University Tigers on 11th November.

Women continue BUCS domination Women's Basketball BUCS Scottish 1A Wednesday 24th October Edinburgh 1st Dundee 1st

92 39

THE FINAL buzzer signalled a nowfamiliar sound of victory for Edinburgh University women's first team in the basketball on Wednesday, easing to a 92-39 point win over Dundee.

Their third big victory of the season, the girls are now establishing a large gap between themselves and the rest of the field in Scottish 1A. Both teams came in to the match undefeated, but Dundee captain Caroline Finlay admitted that “they expected not to win this one”.

Injured Edinburgh captain Ashley Carson was on the sidelines, and said the goal for this week “was to work on defence”, which she thought the girls “really picked up in the second half ”.

Edinburgh won the initial toss up, and the domination started early, with an early two points on the board by last week's top scorer Clare Paxton. They came from a free-throw, which was the first of many converted free-throws by the Edinburgh side.

“

The stand out defence of the game

by Katie Brown made sure Dundee were not allowed to put more than 4 points on the board in the last quarter."

Carson said, “If we make ten free throws in a row at practice we win a Mars Bar,” a clever coaching incentive that proved fruitful in a game where

Edinburgh only missed two free throws compared to Dundee who scored just one, a factor which contributed immensely to the final score.

The first quarter ended with a scoreline of 26-8, with the Dundee side not able to settle into a match where the partnership of Beth Mackie and Hilary Wood (scoring 22 points between them) seemed unstoppable.

The second quarter saw a quick substitution for Edinburgh of Mackie for speedy Ailie Gardner, who proved a key scorer for the home side and immediately put points on the board. The game seemed to slow in terms of scoring, as Dundee couldn’t convert their chances.

But with impressive three pointers from Gardner, the Edinburgh side increased their lead to 47 – 20 by half time.

The third quarter saw the score increase to 71- 35 as Dundee gave away too many free-throws and failed to make it past the solid Edinburgh side.

The last 10 minutes of the game

JUMP: Edinburgh score again

ANDREW REES

Camilla Tait watches the women’s basketball team thrash Dundee with yet another superb performance in the Scottish 1A were a case of closing it out, and the stand-out defence of the game by Katie Brown made sure Dundee were not allowed to put more than four points on the board in the last quarter.

With such a big score line advantage, the Edinburgh side were able to make an entire team swap in the remaining minutes of the 4th quarter; a competition to see who produced the best defence.

The buzzer sounded as a shot was denied for Fran Iwanyckyj, but it was a moment of elation for the home side who seem set to continue their domination.

With a big game against rivals Glasgow to come in their next BUCS fixture, the girls do not want to get too ahead of themselves. Captain Carson said they “don’t want to be over-confident heading in to the match”, though as the only undefeated team in the league, the statistics are heavily in Edinburgh’s favour.