Issue 1, Summer 2019

The

Technician bulldogs.kettering.edu/technician

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August 4, 2019

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Volume 137

Mother Nature Strikes Again

Issue 1

Preston Buszka Editor-in-Chief Well, she did it again. To those who don’t know, the last grievance on record was this last winter, when the campus of Kettering University (along with most of Michigan) froze over, for several days that is. But let us not dwell in the past, at least not that far. Let’s look more this term, say Week 1 Saturday. The Centennial Fest was an event put on by Kettering University to bring the Flint and greater local communities together to celebrate Kettering’s 100th birthday — hence the whole Centennial part on the “Fest.” It was slated to have artists performing all day, amongst two stages, with headliner T-Pain later in the evening, food and merchandise vendors, and even a car show, too, amongst other things. AtStage 1 Setup for the Kettering Centennial Fest. Photo Courtesy of Katie Gillies

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What’s Inside

Corvette Update

Automotive News

Centennial Fest: Interview with Laura Izquierdo

Which Kettering Professor Are You? 3

A "quiz" of sorts

6

IM Sports Standings

Let’s Build a Brighter Future - The Campus Master Plan

Katie Bolinger Staff Writer

Robert Lyman Copy Editor

The recent Centennial Fest put on by Kettering hosted a lot of local talent, and you may have heard of one particular rising superstar: our very own Laura Izquierdo. She’s a Junior II CE major that’s been passionate about music since she was only six years old. Brought up in a family that surrounded her with music, she now plays four instruments, not including vocals. Her cousin is a professional singer, and gave Laura singing lessons early on.

Laura started writing her own music at around twelve years old, and she says she’s written “eight or nine good songs.” Two of these she performed at the Centennial Fest, along with covers of Paramore’s “Ain't it Fun?” and Walk the Moon’s “Shut Up and Dance.” Laura is used to performing in front of people, as she’s been in choir since she was six and even had her own band at fifteen, but the Centennial Fest was her most professional venue yet. She loves performing, and excitedly told me “I’m a shy person, but not on stage. I love being on stage!”

You may be wondering how she balances her Kettering studies with her musical career. She tries to take care of school first and if it’s taking a lot of her energy, she deals with it by going “right to wherever there’s a guitar or a piano.” To Laura, music is her relief from the stresses around her, not her job.

Laura is always looking for gigs. She wondered if Kettering would have other musicians play at the Centennial fest before T-Pain, so she applied online and was selected. She loved the experience, but

It’s that time of year again - we’re officially through with 58% of 2019, and with Kettering’s Centennial Year more than half over, that makes right now a great time to look to the future. Since any conversation about the future of the University is incomplete without a discussion of the Campus Master Plan, let’s go through all the updates we have right now, starting with what is the Master Plan?

The Kettering University Campus Master Plan is the result of a long process that the University underwent a few years back that was designed around making the student experience better. Many a survey was taken, many a metric was studied, and many an interview was conducted. The university looked at us students, but more specifically at how we spend our time here – what we’re doing, what classes we’re taking, etc. The studies also looked at what classes are being offered, the technical requirements for each of those classes, and the laboratory requirements for each class with a lab. After compiling all this information, Kettering University President Dr. Robert McMahan and the many other people involved in the Master Planning process came up with a decade-long plan, which we are now squarely in the middle of implementing. The campus will be changing rapidly in the coming years, and everything started with the Mobility Research Center across the street from the Mott Center.

Now that the MRC is finished, the next project is the Learning Commons, which is being built

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Interesting Happenings

Entertainment, Puzzles, Comics 7

Through The Lens

8

Getting to Know Tod Sydney Shirah Distribution Editor Kettering student body, The Technician would like to introduce Tod Francis King-Baker, the lovely boxer-lab mix of our very own Jered Baker and his fiancé Jimmy King. Tod lives with his fathers in Grand Rapids, Michigan where he enjoys walks by the river and downtown. He also has a best friend.

Her name is Alexa and she is a 4 month old yellow lab. He dislikes Jered’s banana-shaped wet floor sign, the vacuum, the broom, trains, or when people knock on his door.

On a normal day for Tod, he sleeps, takes two walks - one in the morning and one at night, watches a T.V. show or movie with his dads, has breakfast, eats a snack or two, and has dinner. He takes a nap here and there when he has time and he loves playing with his favorite green rubber chew toy or soccer ball.

Photo Courtesy of Jered Baker

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The Technician

Campus News

August 4, 2019

The Campus Master Plan Continued from Front Page on 100% donations - a real feat for Kettering. The Learning Commons is what architects call a “hybrid building” due to its more open-concept and freeform design. Construction is expected to begin very soon, and the structure will be built just North of the Rec Center, across the Beach from the CC, and will feature a new media commons area, a brandnew library, and new dining services. There won’t be any need for the Sunrise Café in the Campus Center anymore once the building is finished, so once the Learning Commons is finished, the space that is currently occupied by Ernie’s (Sunrise Café) will be remodeled into more gathering space for students.

Concept sketches of the new building show a lot of glass for letting in natural light, and a new covered walkway will connect the new building to the CC through a wall in BJ’s Lounge - right about where the stairs outside BJ’s are now - in much the same way that Thompson Hall is connected to the CC. Once the Learning Commons is completed, the next step in the plan is to build a new residence hall.

Thompson Hall is showing its age, but still techni-

Students Speak with The Technician The Technician will be hosting “Students Speak with The Technician” on 6th Thursday (8/22/2019) from 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM in the Cribathon (AB 2225). Students, faculty, and staff are encouraged to participate. Meet with members of The Technician team to discuss pressing issues in our community, and at large. A full dinner will be provided.

RSVP on our Facebook Event and be entered into a raffle for an Amazon Gift Card!

Disclaimer: The winner will be chosen at the end of the event.

Any member of the Kettering Community (student, faculty, or staff ) is eligible to win. The winner must RSVP before the listed time below, and be present at the time of the drawing in order to win. Members of The Technician staff, advisors, and their immediate family are ineligible to participate. RSVPs will be accepted no later than 8/22/2019 at 6:30 PM.

The

Technician Preston Buszka

Editor-in-chief

Katie Gillies

Assistant Editor

cally functions for what the university needs from it - for now. A new building is coming: it may not be here before all of us graduate, but it’s on its way.

The new residence hall will be built on what is currently Lot 3 - the parking deck behind Thompson Hall and the Rec Center - and will have different wings with different modes of housing: singles, doubles, and suites are the modes currently planned.

The grassy area by the river across the driveway from Lot 3 will become the new student parking lot, and when the new hall is finished, Thompson Hall will be torn down and replaced with grass. With that done, campus will have “turned” to face the river and Downtown, rather than... wherever it’s facing now.

The next major construction in the way of housing will be Greek Village, which will be built along Bluff Street and stretch along the “corridor,” which begins behind Campus Village and follows the river all the way to Downtown. It will be a sprawl of complexes across the street from campus where fraternities and sororities can house themselves – thus moving the center of Greek life a lot closer to campus and making it easier for more students to see the benefits of Greek life and get involved.

The Greek Village will be available for the houses to move into, but such moves won’t be forced – the complex will simply be another option available to them. One of the advantages of being closer to campus for fraternities and sororities is readily apparent in that they won’t have to drive to class and that they will be right across the street from the people they are trying to recruit. The advantage for the University is that Campus Security will be able to patrol the Greek Village, ensuring a decline in vandalism or theft in the parking lots of Greek housing, which has become increasingly problematic in recent years.

There are some drawbacks, of course, such as leaving behind the historied halls of their current residences, but that’s a decision for each house to make.

That’s a lot of talk about housing improvements, isn’t it? What about classroom space and upgrades to those facilities? Worry not, my fellow nerds: new academic buildings are in the works as well. These new buildings will be built across the street from the Mott Center, near Chevy Commons. And with

Nathan Schleh

L ayout Editor

Robert Lyman

Copy Editor

Sydney Shirah

Distribution Editor

Jered Baker

Online Editor

Staff writers Elise Atkinson Rachael Gotterson Katie Bolinger Jordan Carley Pebbles Benavides

Faculty Advisor Rebecah Pulsifer Special Thanks To Betsy Homsher & Cheyenne Chapman

Artist Rendering of the Kettering University Master Plan.

Photo Courtesy of Kettering University those buildings will come the end of the days of dodging traffic while running to class, as an indoor bridge that crosses over Chevrolet Avenue will be built along with them.

Are there any other projects going on? Of course - just look at the Math Department. Additionally, there is a single-spaced list of bullet points that’s about three pages long full of little projects that are going on/in the works. With so much stuff going on, it’s hard to keep track of it all sometimes, but such is life at an institution such as Kettering. Stay tuned for more updates about the Campus Master Plan as more things get changed around campus.

Submissions Policy The Technician encourages any interested students to attend staff meetings. Meetings for Summer 2019 will be each Monday and Thursday over the lunch hour in The Technician office, located on the 3rd floor of the Campus Center above the Sunrise Café. Student submissions are encouraged and will be published if their material is in the public interest.

Submissions or letters to the editor from faculty and administrative entities will be published if space is available. The Technician reserves the right to edit any and all submissions for brevity and clarity.

Anonymous submissions are rarely published and will be considered on a case-by-case basis. Individuals wishing to publish anonymously should consult the Editor-in-Chief.

The deadline for the upcoming issue of The Technician is 6th Monday at 12:20 pm, during the Summer 2019 term. Expected distribution is 7th Tuesday. Send submissions to aTechnician@kettering.edu

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The Technician

Campus News

Mother Nature Strikes

Interview with Laura

Panorama of various vendors from the Kettering Centennial Fest.

Again

Izquierdo

Photo Courtesy of Preston Buszka

Continued from Front Page

Continued from Front Page

HELP WANTED!

tendance started light but picked up more as the day wished she had more stage time to really show the progressed. However, the festivities were cut short audience “all of the music she loves.” Currently, she Section Editors, Staff Writers & Photograby the threat of very severe weather. doesn’t plan on pursuing a professional music career, phers, and more Positions Open! but if an opportunity came up, she’d definitely conAt around 4:30 PM on Saturday, President Mc- sider. Before Kettering, she had considered a major Do you like writing, taking pictures, making Mahan canceled the event for the aforementioned in Music Composition, and even started a degree in comics, or creating puzzles? Do you have a knack reason. Myself, along with Assistant Editor Katie Music Theater with Oakland Community College. for asking questions and have a healthy interest in Gillies, caught up with President McMahan mo- At this point, she says “It’s not really something I the things that go on at Kettering? Do you want ments later for a brief discussion for what was go- would like to major in because I can do it anytime.” to make a difference in today's media atmosphere? ing on. We were able to confirm from President During work term, she rehearses her songs after Do you want to practice your journalistic ability?

McMahan that the threat of severe weather put not work, and does gigs at coffee shops on the weekends.

Do you want to hold people and organizations aconly the event staff and guests at risk, but also the Laura classifies her music as “indie pop rock,” and countable for their statements and actions? If you venue as a whole as well due to the high winds along she wants to make an EP or album soon. Until then, answered yes to any of the previous questions, then with the storms. President McMahan stated that the you can find some of her songs on Soundcloud unThe Technician is right for you! (Even if you didn’t, safety of all participants is the top priority of event der her stage name “Mint Lights.” She also has a you should still consider it, read on for more) management and that by the time the primary brunt Mint Lights Facebook page, so go check out some of the storms would arrive, a cancelation at that time amazing Kettering talent!

At The Technician, it is our responsibility to the could be more detrimental to all involved as the exstudents, faculty, staff, and campus at large to report pected attendance was slated to peak at over 1,000 on the news, events, clubs, changes, and more, affectguests. President McMahan did state that he would ing the students, faculty, staff, and campus at large of like to thank Campus Safety Director Paul Craine Kettering University. This may not be for everyone, for his extensive work in coordinating the event’s but all are encouraged to join us during the lunch safety presence, whether working with local law encommon hour every Monday and Thursday or subforcement, Campus Safety Officers, or private secumit content to us at aTechnician@kettering.edu, no rity. A top-notch job, independently verified by The matter the experience. Having your work published Technician. Additionally, President McMahan overin the newspaper is a great achievement and workall stated that while the event had to be canceled for ing on the newspaper is just part of the wonderful safety concerns, he wanted to thank everyone who experience one earns at Kettering. made the event possible. The volunteers, committee members, and the community as a whole. When sarOpening act Laura Izquierdo live in concert on Stage castically asked by this staffer if he was McSad, Presi1 at the Kettering Centennial Fest dent McMahan said, “Yes, I am McSad.” He went on Photo Courtesy of Preston Buszka to say that he, along with many other stakeholders in the event, was looking forward to the event. Lastly, McMahan finished with, “The safety of the Kettering Community and all those attending [The Centennial Fest] was our top priority, so I would say that The Technician is pleased to announce The Battle of The Bulldog!

I am more disappointed than sad.” I asked if he was Students are encouraged to take as many pictures of the many shades of the Bulldog as they can starting McDisappointed, and he said, “Yes, I am McDisapnow until August 16th, 2019. The person who submits the most pictures will win an Amazon Gift Card! pointed.”

The best picture will be printed in the 2nd Edition of Summer 2019.

Bonus points will be awarded to those that incorporate The Technician into their picture.

Per President McMahan, The Kettering CentenDouble bonus points for incorporating The Technician into the Bulldog itself ! nial Fest will not be rescheduled at this time.

The Battle of The Bulldog!

President McMahan, we thank you for your time speaking with us and being awesome, and also for all your efforts to make The Centennial Fest happen.

Please send all pictures to, aTechnician@kettering.edu Disclaimer: The winner will be based on the total number of original pictures taken with the Bulldog, located on the Beach near the Academic Building; thereafter judged by quality and style by The Technician staff in the event of a tie. Bonus points will be awarded to those that incorporate The Technician into their picture.

Double bonus points will be awarded for incorporating The Technician into the design of the Bulldog itself.

The Battle of The Bulldog is open to Students of Kettering University only. Members of The Technician staff and their immediate family are ineligible to participate. Regular submission policy applies.

Submissions will be accepted no later than 8/16/2019 at 11:59 PM.

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The Technician

Automotive News

Times of Change: The Chevrolet Corvette Jered Baker Online Editor America’s Dream Car, or at least, that’s what the concept vehicle was named back in 1953. Later that same year, the first Chevrolet Corvette rolled off the assembly line here in Flint, Michigan, with 300 examples being produced. Production was then moved to St. Louis, and then to its forever home in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

Moving forward, and in a world where electric cars have been taking the spotlight as of late (I’m also guilty of giving them a lot of my attention, but I don’t apologize for that because Teslas are still beautiful, even if some of their decisions make me [extremely cross]), the Corvette has been making a helluva lot of noise in the automotive world. The allnew 8th generation has finally arrived, and “all-new” it is. Traditionally, and for the previous seven generations of this vehicle, the Corvette has always been a front-engine placement vehicle, meaning that the engine position is in front of the driver and either in front of or behind the front axle of the car.

picture. Nothings impossible here, except a college student being able to afford any of these cars.

Traditionally, most sport-cars are mid-engine or rear engine, and while I don’t even dare to say which of those two is better for performance because, one, I frankly don’t care, and two, I’d rather not be hunted down by car fanatics who are more opinionated than a mid-40’s suburban housewife named Karen, so we’re just going to not. However, rear and midengine placements move the engine block behind the driver. For mid-engines, the engine is moved most centric to the center of the vehicle, making the center of gravity also move toward the middle of the car, making it more balanced, tame, and a more planet driving experience.

So why bring this up at all? Well, like stated before, the Corvette is traditionally a front-engine vehicle, which isn’t the sportiest setup for one of General Motor’s more sport-centered vehicles, especially when considering that a large portion of its competition is rear or mid-engine vehicles. GM has also dabbled in the past with making the Corvette.

In 1990, GM unveiled the CERV III mid-engine Corvette concept car pictured below. CERV stands for Chevrolet Engineering Research Vehicle.

Photo Courtesy of Jon Harrison of "Red Tape" MSU Libraries

A front-engine placement is the most common vehicle design, with most of your everyday runabouts and daily drivers have this engine placement.

They’re easy to access for maintenance and are generally better in a safety standpoint as the engine block offers some protection benefits to the driver in the event of a head-on or slight overlap type collision. However, the front-engine position is not the sportiest as the majority of the weight may be shifted to the front of the vehicle, wearing out the front breaks more and leaving the rear breaks with little to contribute. And during acceleration, frontengine vehicles have a higher tendency to understeer as the weight shifts to the back of the vehicle. At the same time though, I’m not bringing my Subaru to a racetrack anytime soon, so these are things that the average driver really doesn’t have to worry about.

The Corvette is an iconic American sports car that has been a nameplate for GM for 66 years, living through eight full generations, each one bringing new life into the brand.... Except well… maybe we can all just forget about gen 5 (SO. MUCH. BLACK. PLASTIC) and just keep looking at the first generation, which, in my own opinion, was the most classically beautiful. It wasn’t given aggressive styling yet and with those white-walled tires and smooth, rounded body, it’s forever in my mind as one of the most beautiful cars ever made. It represented American culture in the post-war era; the American Dream, luxury, and living a life that was full. And all it cost of the lot was a whopping $3,250!

Now, adjusting for inflation, the cost is equivalent to $31,178.48, which is lower than the US average new And then there’s the Corvette… the late Dodge car purchase price of, according to Kelly Blue Book, Viper, the Nissan GT-R, Jaguar F-Type, Mercedes $37,577, so it was a steal.

AMG GT, and many others that have and still do this, so I’m not saying that you shouldn’t or can’t make a car like this, it just takes a few pros and cons from other situations and shifts them around.

You can also fix things with smarter suspensions, driver aids, power steering, traction control… you get the Photo Courtesy of the National Corvette Museum

Photo Courtesy of the Motor1.com

I personally think this car is pretty cool because it had, like, super sick scissor doors like all the hot Lamborghini’s, and, best of all, and everyone feel free to fight me on this, but sad-boi flippy lights like on the gen-1 Mazda Miata.

But anyway, for reasons that I didn’t care to look up or read into, GM decided not to pursue a midengine Corvette… … until now.

Okay, I’m not even going to pretend like this is a big reveal at all because let's be honest; the midengine gen-8 Corvette has been one of the absolute worst kept secrets in the automotive community.

There have been spy shots of this thing circulating and popping up for about two-ish years before the thing publically debuted a couple of weeks ago.

Mary Barra even rolled up in a camouflaged one at a press event dated for the date of release.

So when the car actually debuted, even still, the automotive world went into a frenzy. I mean, look at it!

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The Technician

Automotive & Campus News

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LITES Canvas Painting Katie Bolinger Staff Writer

Photo Courtesy of Sam McEachern

I’m sure many of you have noticed the huge squad of girls around campus. They’re here because of a Summer camp called LITES (Lives Improve Through Engineering & Science). Approximately 30-40 girls going into their Senior year of high school come to campus for two weeks. They get familiar with Kettering residence life, attend classes, and make lasting friendships with each other, This year, the LITES girls got the chance to bond with previous LITES participants that now attend Kettering. As a previous participant myself, it was a unique experience that was a lot of fun for both sides. We sat down with some lemonade and canvasses, and painted the evening away. It was a great opportunity for the LITES girls to get an accurate sense of what it was like to transition into Kettering life.

gmauthority.com The vehicle is, literally all-new, with the exception of a single part that was carried over to the new model, according to Chevrolet. Producing a base amount of 450 hp, 0-60 mph around three seconds, and altogether at a base price of under $60,000 USD, the new Corvette is an absolute bargain! This holds true when compared to Ferraris, Porsches, McLarens of the same caliber, but at nearly double or over that in price.

The styling of the car, in my opinion, is absolutely gorgeous. I thought this of the last generation, with its aggressive front fascia and tall and strong rear.

And while this new model still has the aggression that the last model had, it's a bit more pointed, a little bit meaner, and a tad bit more refined. Everything about it looks like a proper supercar. Even still, it is something that is completely recognizable as a Corvette and nothing else.

Everyone is able to have their opinion, and this entire article is pretty much mine, but I firmly believe that GM has hit it out of the ballpark with the new mid-engine C8 Corvette. I’m excited to see this beautiful machine out on the road and on the track, and I hope that everyone else is as well.

As always, I’m here for it.

Photo Courtesy of Ronnie Schreiber hagerty.com

Attendees of the LITES Canvas Painting event pose with their paintings Photo Courtesy of Katie Bolinger

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August 4, 2019

The Technician

Through the Lens

Top & Left: Residents of Thompson Hall pained bricks for a hall wide event called "Brixer," brought to you by your local Resident Assistants.

Photos Courtesy of Jered Baker Bottom: Due to inclement whether, this years IFC Tailgate was moved indoors, for the most part. Students got good eats and played games, like Cornhole (as shown) Photos Courtesy of Jordan Carley

August 4, 2019

The Technician

Through the Lens

Page 7

Top Left: Editor-in-Chief Preston Buszka (left) and Assistant Editor Katie Gillies (right) pose with President McMahan after an interview at the Kettering Centennial Fest.

Top Right: Kettering University Tour Guide Emma Mucciante poses for a photo at the end of the Kettering EXPO on August 3rd.

Right: Assistant Editor Katie Gillies poses for a quick picture of the booth for The Technician at the Kettering EXPO. Bottom: Families and potential new students wade through Court 1 and 2 at the Connie and Jim John Recreation Center for this year's Kettering EXPO All Photos Courtesy of Preston Buszka

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Month, August DD,4,YYYY 2019

The Technician

A Little Something Fun We'll Tell You Which Kettering Professor You Are Based On These 8 Random Questions Number 7 Will Shock You Elise Atkinson Staff Writer This Quiz Is Guaranteed To Tell You Which One Of My Teachers This Term You Are.*

*The Technician makes no promises nor guarantees in this quiz. The nature of this quiz is humorous and is not guaranteed to tell you what is stated in the title. Obviously.

Hello the five people who read The Technician!

Do you have no idea who you are and seek validation in personality quizzes that have no basis in reality? Then you will be very disappointed in this very accurate, very realistic personality quiz*. This is Staff Writer Elise Atkinson, and you are definitely reading this sentence right now.

1. What is your pet peeve?

A. When your students don’t do and understand the homework :( B. When your dog eats all your pencils C. When your students call you Ma’am D. Mastering Physics E. The inevitability of death

2. What is your most recent Google search?

A. Google B. How to get my dOG TO STOP EATING ALL MY PENCILS C. Chai tea latte near me

6. What is the one thing you can’t live without?

A. High-waisted pants and your sweet Cadillac B. Coffee C. Your phone D. Your special refillable markers, very cool by the way E. Literally the electric signals your brain sends and receives

7. Your ideal vacation is...

A. A nice road trip in your sweet Cadillac B. Florida without your mother-in-law this time C. Somewhere in Europe probably D. Up north E. With books you can travel anywhere

8. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?

A. Raven

3. What is your favorite club at Kettering?

A. The Technician B. The Technician C. The Technician D. The Technician E. The Technician

4. Others would describe your hair as...

A. Thick and dark despite the many stressful years teaching Kettering students, honestly I’m envious B. You are actually too tall for anyone to see above your eyes, it is unknown if you even have eyebrows C. Medium length, straight

Professor Stiles if you chose mostly DsA nice man. A very nice man. You love physics. You always listen to your student’s questions and complaints. You’ve made me very interested in the behavior of tiny invisible particles. I bet you’re a nice dad. You seem like a nice person to play Lego Star Wars: The Clone Wars with.

B. Bear C. Shadow dog D. Muskrat E. 10,000 bees

You Are… Professor Salacuse if you chose mostly AsYou have been here since Kettering was GMI and you will be here when it is no longer Kettering. You remember when your student’s weren't all texting on their phones and you miss it. I rue the day you find out [REDACTED] has been texting on their [duplicitous device] during class this entire time.

A good man. I appreciate your jokes professor!

D. entire bionicle lore E. lil globglogabgalab 10 hours

I hope you forgot that the last day of last term I called you ‘senpai’. I hope I don’t annoy you. I think you’re pretty cool!

Professor Atkinson if you chose mostly BsThe perfect combination of a teacher both liked and respected. A nice dude but one that is fully able to take you out with his muscles and sick karate moves if necessary. You’ve watched a bit too much of Hunter x Hunter to not be called a weeb. Half of a marriage that spawned the best Technician staff writer to ever exist (me). I hope this edition doesn’t alert anyone in class to the fact that you’re my dad.

Professor Watson if you chose mostly EsCan you see them Professor? Can you see all my grammar mistakes? My sentence fragments? My missing commas? I could have fixed them so so easily but I left them in just to annoy you. (I’m kidding I left them in for tone and style.) You seem like you wouldn’t care too much about grammar mistakes anyway. You seem like you’re a person that owns a replica katana and that’s pretty dope. I would love to discuss Existentialism and my personal meaning of life and death with you.

Professor Toby if you chose mostly FsMy babiest brother.

My fluffiest brother. My onlyest brother. I was so proud when you graduated Pet Smart’s beginning to intermediate behavioral class and earned your Ph.D. (Phenomenal Dog). Everyday you teach me how to be happy and how to eat all of our pencils. I love you.

D. Lushous, flowing, unicorns cry at the sight E. Short and slightly curly

5. Did you have a My Chemical Romance phase?

A. No. B. Morrissey is like your generation’s My Chemical Romance so yes???

C. Yes D. ??? I don’t know ???

E. It’s not a phase, Mom!

Helen (Professor Cothel) if you chose mostly Cs-

Blessed by the computer gods with the ability to understand Logger Pro. You are a person with a very nice taste in polo shirts. I really appreciate your teaching style and class structure professor! I’m not gonna lie, you look like a person who's read their fair share of fanfiction.

Were you satisfied with your answer? Of course you are! This quiz is guaranteed* to tell you which one of my teachers this term you are!

This quiz is also a legally* binding document!

You, dear readers, are now my professors! I’ll see you 8:00 am Monday! Thanks!

August 4, 2019

Preston's Perspective Preston Buszka Editor-in-Chief Don't Overextend Yourself Welcome back, Preston here, and it’s time for another Preston’s Perspective. So, as there are many clubs, activities, and organizations to participate in on campus, it is important to not overextend yourself outside of classes. If you are constantly stressed and worried you won’t be able to meet your activites’ obligations, not to mention your educational ones, it may be a sign you are overextended.

Have you or someone you know live in a constant slump, juggling classes and clubs galore, thinking that they might not be able to take much more?

Then you may have Overextension. Overextension is a curable disease.

Now you can get the cure in three easy steps: 1) Reduce extra activities. That one club you may have joined on a whim or that organization that doesn’t entirely interest you; go to their meetings less, or even stop entirely if you think it would be best. Just explain to whom is in charge that you took on too much, and that you need to step aside to readjust your priorities. More on this later.

The Technician

Editorial

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sonally not a good choice. Grow up and get over it. step backwards, as it is quite fun to delve deep into Be respectful, understand, take the high road, and the inner-mechanisms (of my mind which are an thank them for their service. enigma) that make puzzles function or make note blocks ding. Sometimes, I even like to practice one Here’s the largest point of all, to you. I know my specific part of the level, but I am unable to do any “Three ‘Easy’ Steps” May seem “Easy,” but to some of these things without the ability to edit. Hopefully it may be hard. Slowly chewing away at your sanity we will see the implementation of this sooner rather saying, “Oh it’s fine, I have time,” when in actuality than later. you don't is not good for you, not to mention everyone else. You should put in your full effort and Another segment of the game that feels unrefined strength into what you do, and not half here and is the co-op mode. Co-op mode allows you to conhalf there; focus! It may be about ego, or pride, but nect with other players over the internet or to those a responsible and mature adult knows that it is best in the same room with you, who are required to also to set those both aside for the betterment of them- own the game on their own Switches. This was a big selves, and that of others. shock to me at first. Nintendo advertises the Switch as something you can whip out and play with friends Thank you for coming to my Talk in The Techni- if you’re on the go. Although small and slightly uncian. comfortable, the Joy-cons are designed to be able to

The end. be “split” and used by two people. By not making a couch co-op mode, they are going against the inherent nature (that they have defined) of the system.

And regardless of the absence of couch co-op, the entire gamemode itself seems a bit disappointing.

Super Mario Maker 2: A Review

Pebbles Benavides Staff Writer

Besides the lag, online cooperative co-op is basically just like playing any of the Wii/Wii U Mario platformer. Races are fun, sometimes. Even though there is a “multiplayer level” tag, a level can be designed in a way to screw over the contestants. For instance, if there is a snake block in a race level and you don’t make it in time before it takes off, tough luck. You’ve got to wait for it to respawn before you can continue on, and by then, the other racers are already miles ahead. Instead of a multiplayer tag, it would be better if there were a separate multiplayer creation options when creating a level, for a race, cooperation, or even a puzzle mode. Multiplayer in general for Super Mario Maker 2 has lots of potential, but is on the rough side for the time being.

Ah, yes, the game we can all appreciate. Whether you grew up with Mario Bros. 3 or New Super Mario Bros. U, we can all come together to have fun struggling to beat that 0.00% clear rate level and figuring out how to make a one-way door in 3D World. Super Mario Maker 2 is a chance for us all to let loose and 2) Prioritize your obligations. With the remaining express our creative level designs. From speedruns to things that you may do with your time, focus on the puzzles, all kinds are welcome. There’s something for things that matter most. Here’s a good one: school everyone to enjoy. goes first. The going rate for tuition is in excess of $50,000 nowadays (base before financial aid and Let’s admit it, we all had the idea for a Mario level scholarships), so it is highly encouraged to focus one maker game at one point or another, and we’d all the thing that costs the most, and takes most of ones probably like to take the credit. But this didn’t stop day. However, do with that information as you will, anyone from doing it before Nintendo did. CountFinally, the rest of the complaints are things that as we are adults here at this fine post-secondary in- less emulators and ROM hacks were made, and thus a little more customization freedom would have stitution. I will say it’s a bad excuse to hang out with began the growth of a new community. These cusfixed. Why can’t we place background decorations your friends over going to SI (Supplemental Instruc- tom worlds were for the truly committed and admanually, like the snowmen, portholes, flowers, etc.? tion), etc., for example. vanced players. Thankfully, Nintendo did create the Why can’t we play music without the logos popping game, and now all of us can play Kaizo levels to our up? Why can’t we have only one enemy spawn out 3) Effectively manage your time. Now that you hearts’ content. of a pipe at a time? These all seem like small trifles, have less to worry about, and now your priorities in but the more options there are, the more interesting line, you can now divvy up your time. Top priority The game is as you would expect it to be: very levels will be. If Nintendo was worried about overfirst, and then down the list. Pro tip: school should high quality and loads of fun. The UI for creating whelming the creators with lots of options, then go towards the top. I know it may be tempting to go a level is easily navigated, handheld mode allows they simply could have provided a standard UI for to a mid-week “social gathering” with a quiz the next the creator to use the touchscreen, and they finally more relaxed players and an advanced UI for players morning, or even play video games (amongst other added slopes. The versatility of the enemies allows who like a little bit more action. things) till two in the morning early monday, with every level to be unique and fresh, and the newlyan exam that same morning. However, one must added ON/OFF and snake blocks are game-changAt the end of the day, Super Mario Maker 2 is put those feelings aside and focus. Bonus pro tip: ing components that accentuate stages to an even something that I will cherish, even though it can your physical and mental health is first, this being higher degree than before. Super Mario Maker 2 get a little frustrating sometimes. The reason I’m so a school, school is second, and all else should come has enough new features to warrant creating a new critical of it is because I think so highly of it. Seeing after. Again, do with this as you will, but remember game, and the port on the Switch allows anyone to them fall flat on a couple of things is disappointing, why you are here, and at the end of the day, the cor- play it anytime, anywhere (and sealing that final nail because I know that Nintendo can do some pretty rect answer is: to graduate. Note: to those that say in the coffin to the Wii U. Rest in peace). amazing things if they just set their mind to it.

“C’s get Degrees,” unfortunately, I doubt it.

Here’s a big one for Leaders: be understanding.

One cannot simply do everything. It’s just not feasible. It takes a keen leader to be mature and understand where one is coming from, even if it is an inconvenience to themselves, or they think it is per-

However, as much as this game brings me joy, I Would I recommend this game to someone? Abcan’t help but be frustrated at all of the little things it solutely. Go try it. Have fun. Play my level. [FL9fails to live up to (and the rather big ones, too). The LT7-SKF] biggest gripe I have with this game is the inability to download and then edit a level, a previous feature Continued on Page 10 from the first game. I don’t know the reason for the

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The Technician

Entertainment News & Sports

Super Mario Maker 2

A-Tourney Soccer

Review Continued from Page 9 Nathan Schleh Layout Editor In addition to all of that, I’m glad we finally got so many of the elements we were asking for in the first game. Vertical scrolling, new enemy and block types, and, of course, those glorious SLOPES. The new things added to the game add more than just one new way to design a level mechanic; each new option allows for exponential increase of mechanics to test, as one new object can interact with each other, allowing for new combos and match-ups and it is all just so beautiful. But this is also where my issues come in; in the first game we were fascinated by the ability to mix-and-match different options to make unique mechanics for all of our levels, but now whenever I try to combine many of the new mechanics, I find myself flabbergasted by just how few things I can combine. For example, twisters, a new enemy designed to life mario up in the air, can walk left to right and turn around at cliffs or walls.

That’s it. Can’t put them on tracks, can't give them wings, can't stack them on enemies, nothing. What made the first game so amazing is by making combos you would have never thought of, heck, people made a walking mech suit using stacked enemies!

And now it feels like so much of that has been taken away. And this goes even more so for the new theme, Super Mario 3D World, which adds so many unique mechanics and things to try but somehow loses just as much with the lack of elements from the other themes. I just feel very limited by this game, and in a game where everything is supposed to be limited by your creativity, it just doesn’t feel right. Also, it almost feels to me like the game lost a lot of its character with this sequel. Remember how weird the aptly-named “Weird Mushroom” was? Well, it’s gone now. Along with all the other weird and quirky things I loved about the first game. No unique intros, no random death effects, and no hidden secrets really. I love this game, and have already put way too many hours into it, but I really hope many of these gripes can be fixed in the future, if addressed at all.

Nintendo has said they’re looking into online co-op with friends, so here’s to hoping they address this as well.

Oh, and, play my level too: [ JBL-HVJ-WMG]

Legend for Sports W: Wins; L: Losses; T: Ties; F/D: Forfeits/Defaults; SR: Sportsmanship Rating; WPCT: Winning %; PCT: Points Average; GB: Games Behind; PF: Points For; PA: Points Against; DIFF: Differential; STRK: Streak; TOT PTS: Total Points Standings are determined by: 1) Winning %, 2) Head to Head, 3) Sportsmanship, 4) Differential (Final) Tables on Page 10 and 11 with Tourney Information Courtesy of IMLeauges.com

R-Tourney Soccer

A-Tourney Softball

R-Tourney Softball

August 4, 2019

August 4, 2019

The Technician

Entertainment & Sports

Women's Volleyball

Picross

Comic & Meme

Nathan Schleh Layout Editor

Right Meme: Rachael Gotterson Bottom Comic: Elise Atkinson

Orientation Edition Picross Solution Shown at right

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August 4, 2019

The Technician

Welcome to the Team!

Meet the newest additions to The Technician Staff

as The Technician (clearly). Besides my Kettering life, well... Honestly I don’t do much. I paint sometimes, and I like to play D&D with my friends. I’m a relatively simple human. Things that make me happy include extremely large quantities of colored pens, as well as ocean creatures. I have no idea what you’ll see me writing about, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

Why you should join The Technician: While I haven’t been a member of The Technician for very long, there are a few things I already enjoy about it. The meetings are great. I really like the fun and open atmosphere there. Also there’s no pressure to write, we’ve got all kinds of other jobs if that doesn’t float your boat. And finally, it’s a great way to talk to people you wouldn’t talk to otherwise. So far, I’m a fan. Though I guess I’m a bit biased now...

Name: Jordan Carley Title: Staff Writer Terms of Service: 0 Bio: My name is Jordan Carley. This is my first term on The Technician. I am a Freshman I Mechanical Engineering major. In my free time I like to play the guitar, paint, and rap to Nicki Minaj’s “Super Name: Paula (Pebbles) Benavides Bass”. I joined The Technician because I have enjoyed Title: Staff Writer writing since I was a young girl and believed it would Terms of Service: 0 be an exceptional opportunity to use my creativity.

About Me: Greetings, reader. Call me Pebbles!

What I like most is all of the unique personalities Just to get this out of the way, my nickname is Pebcoming together to form a pristine experience. bles because my initials are P.E.B. I’m a Sophomore II majoring in both electrical and computer engineering and my co-op is Patti Engineering in Auburn Hills. Lots of things catch my interest, such as dinosaurs, Legos, and games of any kind (video games, board games, D&D - you name it!). You can catch me hanging out at The Technician, AAA (Asain American Association), and the Gamers’ Society. I’d like to think I have a couple of hobbies, like painting and singing, but I must admit that most of my free time is poured in to browsing Reddit and hanging out with my friends.

Why we want YOU for The Technician: The Technician is an amazing place to express your ideas and opinions with a rather lovely group of people.

Coming in, I expected most of the articles to be about Kettering. Don’t get me wrong, lots of them are, but if you want to write about something you’re passionate about that doesn’t relate anything to the bulldog... don’t fret. You can write an article about Name: Katie Bolinger anything that’s on your mind. After all, we are the Title: Staff Writer student voice of Kettering University, and you could Terms of Service: 0 be too!

Bio: Hello there! I’m Katie. The second one, that is. We’ve got two now! Anyway, I’ll start with the “Kettering introduction:” I’m a Sophomore II Mechanical Engineering major, and I co-op at ESE in Lapeer, MI. On campus, I’m active in SWE, as well

Name: Rachael Gotterson (Yes, I have the word ‘otter’ in my last name) Class Standing: Sophomore ll Study: Major in computer science, minor in literature Co-op: Leidos, Walled Lake Sellout Space: Instagram, Snapchat and PlayStation are all under the username Flintpunk Who I am: Greetings comrades, I’m Rachael! I joined Kettering in the summer of 2017 after FIRST Robotics made me want to pursue programming as a major. After two years of going here, I decided that writing was one of my bigger passions, so I picked up a minor in literature as well. I’ve lived in Flint for 10 years and am a graduate of International Academy of Flint. I really love video games, writing, art and music, and I write gaming news articles for a website called Ticgamesnetwork. Currently, I’m involved in Radio Club, The Technician, and GSA (Gay Straight Alliance), so if you see me around there, feel free to say hi. Actually, if you see me just about anywhere on campus you can feel free to say hi! Catch me taking a nap in the Computer Science lounge during finals.

What kind of writer are I am: I’m the kind of writer that could probably make professor Gellis tired of me. Generally, I do creative writing with my own original characters, world, plotlines and ideas, and currently I’ve got about three things in the works. However, I’m not limited to that kind of writing and have dabbled a bit in things like news articles, technical papers, and literature analysis. I just really like writing.

Why I came around to The Technician: As someone who loves writing, I wanted to find more outlets to actually get some writing out. Although my main focus on writing is generally creative writing, I decided to open my spectrum more and give news writing a chance. I’ve written news articles before for a gaming news website, but this will be a much different experience for me and I hope to learn a lot not only about my writing style, but also about happenings on campus. I like to be proactive on campus and talk to the student body, so expect a lot of articles related to that from me.