The Technician Issue 1 Summer 2011 by The Technician

The

Technician bulldogs.kettering.edu/technician

•

July 25, 2011

•

Volume 107

Issue 1

Uptick in Kettering Enrollment

By Adlai Milbitz and Isaac Meadows Technician Staff

Kettering admissions is “feeling very positive about growth,” says Karen Full, Kettering’s Director of Admissions. According to Ms. Full, enrollment has increased about 10% over the low levels of 2010. Details of student enrollment numbers were not made available to The Technician. Efforts to improve recruitment have included new programs, advertising, and hiring in the admissions department. Potential students are invited to activities like “Dog Days of Summer,” a series of Friday programs designed to showcase campus life as well as academics. The “Dog Days” program is currently being promoted via billboards and student calling programs. Continued on page 2

What’s Inside

Photo courtesy of Kettering Communications

Flint Scandal

City of Flint employees test positive for drugs

Smoking Ban at UM–Flint

Cynthia DiSarno Technician Staff

KSG Budget

Numbers and graphs followed by analysis

Club Contact

A list of club meeting times and contact info

University Hosts Concert

Turtle Theory

Startling new insights into our universe

New Director of Residence Life

The Music in the Parks 2011 series continues with By Jessica Bruce Gospel Celebration featuring The Flint Area Gospel Technician Staff Musicians & Directors Fellowship, The Flint Jubilee As a part of the University of Michigan, the umAs all the freshmen know, Kettering University Chorale, and The Flint Jubilee Gospel Singers. Flint campus has gone smoke free as of July 1st. Stuhas a new face in charge of Thompson Hall. Katie dents are no longer allowed to smoke on the 76-acre Bosio took over late last term as the Director or campus minus in the comforts of their car (with the Residence Life and is very happy to be here. She was windows rolled up), city sidewalks,parking decks, born in Michigan, but lived in the Denver, Co. area, and public throughways. New signs for the smoke getting her Bachefree campus have been posted on the university lor of Arts degrees grounds and all of the smoking shacks, ashtrays, and in Liberal Arts designated smoking area signs have been removed. and History from The University of Michigan proposed the ban in Mesa State College 2009 to follow their employee M‑Healthy program in Grand Juncto promote healthy lifestyles. tion, Co. She then Kettering University will host Music in the Park earned a Master at Mott Park on Tuesday, July 26, 7 p.m. The event of Science degree is free. Bring your lawn chairs, blankets and bug with an emphasis spray. Performance: Gospel Celebration featuring in College Student Photo courtesy of Thompson Hall The Flint Area Gospel Musicians & Directors Fel- Personnel Services from Western Illinois University lowship, The Flint Jubilee Chorale, and The Flint in Macomb, Il. She served as Assistant Director of Jubilee Gospel Singers. Housing and Resident Life at Mesa State College Kettering will host two FIRST robot teams at the prior to her arrival at Kettering. park to promote the next Kettering Kickoff, SaturShe came to Kettering because she was interested day, Sept. 17 in the Recreation Center. in small institution work and the job sounded intriguing. She hopes to keep Thompson Hall looking This article was originally run in "Life at Ketter- up-to-date and operating at its best as well as offering," a blog with resources for students, run by the Uni- ing good leadership opportunities through working versity. To view the blog, visit bulldogs.kettering.edu/ at Thompson Hall as Resident Advisors, at the front lifeatkettering/ desk, kitchen, etc. Katie sees the Kettering students as dedicated and motivated by the constraint of an eleven-week school term.

Photo courtesy of the University of Michigan– Flint and the Flint Journal.

Continued on page 10

Page 2

July 25, 2011

The Technician

News

Flint Employees on Drugs? Numbers Don’t Add Up, But City Policies Are In the Spotlight By Isaac Meadows Technician Staff City Administrator Greg Eason set off a brief firestorm in Flint politics with comments in a March 23 meeting of the Flint City Council. In a statement regarding one city employee who tested positive for illegal drug use, he said if the city followed a protocol requiring the dismissal of the employee, “we would probably get rid of half the staff population here,” reported the Flint Journal and the Michigan Times. His comments provoked immediate responses that ranged from concern for public safety to outrage at what Brian Burdy, president of the Flint Police Officers Association, called in an open letter, “an absolutely absurd comment.” According to City of Flint Communications Director Dawn Jones, drug tests conducted on City of Flint employees have come back positive about 10 percent of the time; between 50 and 75 employees (out of 1600) have been tested for drug use.

The immediate context for Eason's remark was on the proper way to handle a positive drug test by a city employee. Although the city’s policy has been repeatedly described as “no-tolerance” and enforced as such through union contracts that include regular and incidental drug screening, the employee in question was allowed to stay on the job after he immediately enrolled in an outpatient treatment program. Said Eason, “We never found drugs on him. When an employee admits on their own they do have a problem and is willing to go to a drug program, I don’t see any reason why you should punish them.” City Councilman Joshua Freeman disagreed, expressing frustration that the employee continued to work for the city and even moved from parttime to full-time status with continued access to a city vehicle. In comments called "sarcastic and extreme" but "on target" by the Flint Journal Editorial Board, Freeman asked for a list of all city employees who have tested positive for controlled substances. "These people are driving city-owned vehicles," he said. "I guess the message is if you see a city vehicle coming at you, get off to the side of the road." The Technician contacted Mr. Eason's office, but as of press time, there has been no response.

Uptick in Kettering Enrollment Continued from the front page

Pre-college programs now range from the traditional Lite and Aim camps to new programs focusing on sustainable energy and computer engineering. The admissions department has begun rehiring staff, including a new international admissions recruiter. Additional emphasis is being placed on outof-state recruitment. Ms. Full also called the efforts of Kettering students over recent terms “extremely helpful” and asked Kettering students to continue participating in efforts such as the “Old School” campaign, which sends students back to their respective high schools to advertise Kettering. Students interested in this opportunity should contact Trisha Stommel at the email address tstommel@kettering.edu. Students were also asked to participate in the new “Dog Days” program by interacting with visiting students and their families at the Friday programs. Editor's Note: Matthew Gessler contributed reporting.

First Annual Buckham Alley Fest in Flint By Cynthia DiSarno Technician Staff Most people don't expect to have a good time in an alley in Flint, but on Saturday, July 16 from 6pm to midnight, Buckham Alley was filled with artists, bands, and plenty of fun! This was the first annual Buckham Alley Fest (baf) and it was well-organized and quite enjoyable. There was food available for purchase from downtown restaurants like Soyla's and Wise Guys Pizza along with support from the area restaurants, including Bd's Mongolian Barbecue. The Creative Alliance and Flint Handmade held crafting tables where participants could make crafts that included poi, mask-making, beading, and more—all free of charge. Flint Handmade also brought together over 50 vendors who sold their handmade goods that included jewelry, bath products, purses, stuffed animals, toys, clothing, and paper crafts to form the Shopping District of their “Craft City” area. Genessee Regional Young Pro-

fessionals held a spelling bee with a grand prize of $1,000 cash. BAF also had a total of 10 bands perform on the Sectorlink and the Torch Bar and Grill stages, including Kettering student Nathan Butler (me) and his band, Rev. Right Time and the First Cousins of Funk/ Whiskey Rebellion. The band is made up of five members who reside in the Flint area and include a singer, two guitarists, a bass guitarist, and a drummer. baf had music, dance, artisans, handmade crafts, street performers, art, fun and food. baf held a successful event with an attendance around 2,000, and it all stemmed from an idea that Chris Everson, a resident of Flint, had while spending time with friends at the Torch last December.

The

Technician Robert Hayes

Editor-in-chief

Allen Hillaker

Matthew White

Assistant Editor

Christina Cutler

Tyler Van Eck

Distribution Editor

Copy Editor

Staff writers Devin Aryan Jessica Bruce Cynthia Cardenas Korrine Ketchum Isaac Meadows Adlai Milbitz John Oliver Marian Swagler Cartoonist Marie Klosowski

Proofreader Kaitlin Solovey Photographers Jones Barton Matthew Holland Joseph Stevenson Alan Xia Columnists Evan Brest Dominic Jandrain

Corrections In the orientation edition of The Technician, the second-page graph of undergraduate students by major was incorrect. A typographical error led to the number of A-section Chemical Engineering students to be misidentified as 3. The correct number is 39. The Technician regrets this error.

July 25, 2011

The Technician

Essays

Page 3

Breathtaking Collections Come Alive at FIA

By Elizabeth McLean Guest Contributor

ings that were made during the era Lewandowski worked — the 20th century — included barnscapes and other scenic views depicting American progress. The city of Flint, often coined “Vehicle City,” has Lewandowski showed an entirely different side of always had a well-established relationship and hisAmerican progress by taking industrial plants and tory with the automotive industry and manufacturcomponents and turning them into incredible piecing. Given this, envisioning Flint as a cultural hub for the arts may seem like a stretch, but the Flint Institute of Arts (fia) is definitely bringing some first-rate artwork, music, and cultural events into the city. While the fia has a permanent collection always available at the museum, such as a sculpture garden, artwork ranging from the Renaissance to modern day works, and artifacts, they bring in additional collections from time to time open to the general public. One of the most recent of these collections at the fia, entitled "Edmund Lewandowski: Precisionism and Beyond," ties the city's automotive and industrial roots in with breathtaking artwork that truly reflects the city's innovative spirit. While some of Lewandowski’s work is owned by the fia, many of his original pieces belong to other organizations across the nation. The exhibit brings all of Lewandowski’s artwork into a single location to really give an incredible view of the scope of his work. Many great artists go through phases during es of artwork. Things as raw as beams of steel were their career, and Lewandowski was no exception. turned into a magnificent spectrum of reds, capturAs the title of the collection implies, Precisionism ing the eye's attention across a canvas. A brewery was one of Lewandowski’s fortes and the style of the suddenly went from a collection of metal buildings vast majority of his work. The style was defined by to a piece of artwork expressing so much more than Lewandowski, along with other artists, as being “enthe buildings themselves—indeed, the moment in gaged in painting the American scene, in an Ameriwhich they existed. can style that [is] an American historical record,” While industrial Precisionist works encompassed and judging from the exhibit, he definitely accoma majority of his collection, Lewandowski also capplished this mission in a very unique way. tured many marine scenes from the Great Lakes Many of the commonly known “American” paint-

region as well as the shores of South Carolina. The last painting of his lifetime was one of these marine scenes and was titled “Sturgeon Bay Lighthouse,” depicting a single lighthouse towering over a background of trees. Aside from Precisionist works, Lewandowski also dabbled in other areas, such as abstract art. Much of the work he did of Flint was in this abstract style, and one of his works permanently on display in the fia is a huge mosaic laid into the wall with various hues of blues, blacks, and splashes of red. Lewandowski’s collection is definitely an impressive one, and the collaborative efforts of the fia with other museums to bring his collection to Flint are truly incredible. The collection is slotted to be on display until August 7, 2011 and is well worth seeing. Also on display until August 7 is a collection titled "Something Waits Beneath It—Early Work of Andrew Wyeth, 1939–1969," and, in the opinion of this author, is an equally impressive collection. Some of the upcoming exhibitions include "Quilting Traditions: The Art of the Amish" and "Art of Collecting." The fia is an incredible place and definitely worth the time of anyone, from art critics to regular passersby. Every Saturday, the fia offers “Target Saturdays” in which admission is free, so the fia is bound to be an excellent choice for those bored on the weekends. The fia also offers other attractions, such as the college town film series, an art school, and educational programs. To see all that the fia has to offer, hours, and other information, visit www.flintarts.org.

I read the letters he wrote and illustrated to try and see where he was coming from. I was trying to relate and figure out why all the gloom through his art work and letters. At least that’s what I thought until I saw his own description of his collection: “I prefer winter and fall, when you feel the bone structure in the landscape…the loneliness of it…Something waits beneath it the whole story doesn't show." This brought the collection full circle for me. I had to go re-engage myself in each of his works to see what he was trying to portray. I re-worked myself throughout the whole exhibit again. I collected a new sense of hope and optimism from his paintings beneath the barren land, run-down houses, and lonely trees. It shows what seems the worst side of a place, but I was able to make it a new piece of art by picturing what it may have looked like during other seasons of the year when it is not as barren. Wyeth not only shows the beauty of winter and barrenness, but he also forces you to be an active viewer and use your imagination to find structure and depth in it. The Wyeth exhibit was very enjoyable to try and interpret his hidden meaning in each piece of artwork. I am not one to be “deep,” I am always told,

yet his artwork definitely made me think, which is why I preferred his work to the other excellent exhibits on display at the fia. Wyeth’s works do not attract your eye through bright colors and exotic places, yet even the dreadfulness of winter can give you a feeling of well-being and a hopeful, optimistic view. Admission is free on Saturdays. The Flint Institute of Arts is located at 1120 East Kearsley Street.

The painting Great Lakes Shipbuilding by Edmund Lewandowski (left) is one of many pieces on exhibition at the Flint Institute of Arts through August 7.

Andew Wyeth

Optimism Beneath All the Gloom By Justin Monahan Guest Contributor Feeling overwhelmed from all of the countless formulas and calculations from your class work? Need a break from it all? The Flint Institute of Arts exhibition “Something Waits Beneath It: Early Work by Andrew Wyeth, 1939–1969” could be the solution you are looking for. An exhibition to take your mind off of math and science and focus on art and the hidden meaning from Wyeth’s watercolor works. At a first glimpse of Andrew Wyeth’s exhibit, one would think he suffered from a dark, gloomy life with a negative outlook. His collection is mostly of barren landscapes in the fall or winter months when the trees have lost their leaves and the ground is bare and covered in snow. I moved from one painting to the next, wondering why he liked the gloom of the winter. Pictures of run-down houses covered in snow, with a lonely tree all by itself in the yard. Then

The painting Blue Door by Andrew Wyeth (above) is one of many pieces on exhibition at the Flint Institute of Arts through August 7.

Page 4

July 25, 2011

The Technician

KSG Budget Proposed Summer2011 Budget Revised 3/15/2011

KSG Administration Account Number 990500

Account General

Description

Scheduled Date

Copier Expense Gasoline Reimbursement Sign Room Supplies

$300.00 $300.00 $600.00

$250.00 $300.00 $550.00

$240.00 $50.00 $15.00 $305.00

$200.00 $40.00 $15.00 $255.00

$480.00 $120.00 $800.00 $150.00 $800.00 $150.00 $200.00 $100.00 $1,000.00 $800.00 $3,500.00 $1,000.00 $500.00 $9,600.00

$480.00 $120.00 $800.00 $75.00 $250.00 $0.00 $200.00 $100.00 $800.00 $600.00 $0.00 $450.00 $250.00 $4,125.00

$0.00

$300.00 $300.00

$0.00

TOTAL:

$300.00 $750.00 $1,050.00

$200.00 $750.00 $950.00

$0.00

TOTAL:

$12,805.00

$7,130.00

$0.00

Food Carnival of Clubs Shirts

TOTAL: Finance Council 8

Food Budgeting Meeting Food Supplies

TOTAL: 990530 Food Count

Student Senate 16

Food Student of the Year Corporate Day Senator of the Term Senior 3 Picnic Midterm Madness Campus Safety Info Session Coffee and Donut Hours Committee Budgets Student Forum w/ KU President Leadership Development KSG End of Term Dinner KSG Philanthropic Donations

TOTAL: 990540

"Battle" Request

$750.00 $50.00 $150.00 $950.00

Operations Council 10

990520 Food Count

Granted Amount

$750.00 $50.00 $150.00 $950.00

TOTAL: 990510 Food Count

Requested Amount

$0.00

"Battle" Amount

Line-Item Change

Total Funds

$0.00

$750.00 $50.00 $150.00 $950.00

$0.00

$250.00 $300.00 $250.00

$0.00

$200.00 $40.00 $15.00 $255.00

$0.00

Total in Account

Funds Spent

$0.00

$750.00 $50.00 $150.00 $950.00

$250.00 $0.00

$250.00

$0.00

$200.00 $40.00 $15.00 $255.00

$0.00

$480.00 $120.00 $800.00 $75.00 $250.00 $0.00 $200.00 $100.00 $800.00 $600.00 $0.00 $450.00 $250.00 $4,125.00

$0.00

$480.00 $120.00 $800.00 $75.00 $250.00 $0.00 $200.00 $100.00 $800.00 $600.00 $0.00 $450.00 $250.00 $4,125.00

$0.00

$300.00 $300.00

$0.00

$300.00 $300.00

$0.00

$200.00 $750.00 $950.00

$0.00

$200.00 $750.00 $950.00

$0.00

$6,830.00

$0.00

$6,830.00

$0.00

Flowers and Gifts Operating Expenses TOTAL:

990860 Food Count

Academic Council 8

Food Student Forum

KSG Activities Council Account Number 990190 Food Count

Account Administration 30

Description

Scheduled Date

Food TOTAL:

Food Count

Aerosciences Club 12 17

Food Flight Experience

Weekly

Thunder Over Michigan Bottle Rocket Blastoff Event Wind Tunnel Projects TOTAL:

Food Count

990880 Food Count

Airsoft Club 12

Term Opener Standard Weekend Games

Allies 18

Food Coffee and Conversations TOTAL:

990770 Food Count

Anime Club 47

Food Anime Fest Cosplay Ball

Weekly Sat 7th Wk-end 5th sat

TOTAL: 990270 Food Count

Aquaneers 25 30

Food Open Water Classroom Session Advanced Classroom Session Dive Trip Tank Refills

wed- 7 mtgs

TOTAL: 990810 Food Count

Asian American Association 15

Basketball Club 15

Black Unity Congress (BUC) 20 25

Bulldog Mud Boggers 35

Food Cultural Outing Team Building Event

Food Mound Trips ORV Stickers Demolition Derby Tickets Truck Show

TOTAL:

Food Count

Chess Club 10

$350.00 $350.00

$340.00 $390.00

$300.00 $0.00

$315.00 $250.00 $420.00

$315.00 $250.00 $210.00

$1,715.00

$1,075.00

$566.00 $1,464.00 $2,030.00

$516.00 $876.00 $1,392.00

$600.00 $650.00 $1,250.00

$360.00 $300.00 $660.00

$940.00 $375.00 $135.00 $1,450.00

$940.00 $300.00 $135.00 $1,375.00

$600.00 $2,200.00 $680.00 $1,940.00 $1,200.00 $6,620.00

$350.00 $1,540.00 $680.00 $1,720.00 $600.00 $4,890.00

"Battle" Request

$0.00

"Battle" Amount

$0.00

Line-Item Change

Total Funds

$0.00

$350.00 $350.00

Total in Account

Funds Spent

$0.00

300 0

$315.00 $250.00 $210.00 $0.00

315 250 210 0 $1,075.00

$516.00 $876.00 $1,392.00

$0.00

$360.00 $300.00 $660.00

$0.00

$940.00 $300.00 $135.00 $1,375.00

$0.00

$350.00 $1,540.00 $680.00 $1,720.00 $600.00 $4,890.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00 $0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$700.00 $500.00 $240.00 $225.00 $250.00 $1,915.00

$0.00

$1,075.00

$516.00 $876.00 $1,392.00

$0.00

$360.00 $300.00 $660.00

$0.00

$940.00 $300.00 $135.00 $1,375.00

$0.00

$350.00 $1,540.00 $680.00 $1,720.00 $600.00 $4,890.00

$0.00

Food Tournament Entry Fees Team Memberships

Weekly Bi-weekly Aug 15-21

$0.00

$875.00 $300.00 $150.00 $1,325.00

$250.00 $300.00 $150.00 $700.00

$880.00 $750.00 $320.00 $450.00 $290.00 $2,690.00

$700.00 $500.00 $240.00 $225.00 $250.00 $1,915.00

$200.00 $400.00 $170.00

$200.00 $300.00 $0.00

$0.00

$350.00 $350.00

$300.00 $0.00

$0.00

Food Tournament (Gus Hacker) 3x3 Tournament (Red Hacker)

TOTAL: 990660 Food Count

$350.00 $350.00

$0.00

TOTAL: 990340 Food Count

Granted Amount

Food Sushi Night

TOTAL: 990480 Food Count

Requested Amount

$0.00

$700.00 $500.00 $240.00 $225.00 $250.00 $1,915.00

$200.00 $300.00 $0.00

July 25, 2011

990680 Food Count

Player Lodging KU Speed Chess Tournament

$140.00 $275.00 $1,185.00

$0.00 $275.00 $775.00

Food Climbing

$200.00 $2,520.00 $2,720.00

$200.00 $1,750.00 $1,950.00

Cliffhangers 65 TOTAL:

990230

Cycling Club 15

990460 Food Count

Dance Club 25

Food instructor fee collegiate Dance

25 TOTAL:

990960 Food Count

Fencing Club 5

Food Fencing Club Fees

10 TOTAL: 990220 Food Count

Firebirds 70

Food Top Gear Night K^arting Trips Autocross Autoshow Dyno Day TOTAL:

990570 Food Count

Gaming Society 41

Food Magic Tournament

6th Friday

TOTAL: 990920 Food Count

GEO 25

Food Cultivating the Community 2 Speakers Battle of the Bins TOTAL:

Grill Club 40

Food Count

Food Steak Night Grilling Abroad TOTAL:

Activities Council Account Number 990330 Food Count

Account Hockey Club 40

Description

International Club 30

Welcome Back BBQ Japanese Origami Great Expectations Jamaican Midterm Madness African Culture Hispanic Fiesta Diversity Week Event

TOTAL: KAR

990200 Food Count

GM Speaker Series Outlook Conference

Karate Club 16

Food Instructor Fee TOTAL:

Kettnetic Thunder 25

Food Count

990280 Food Count

Kick off meeting Tournament entry fees Tournament Snacks Tournament Lodging Tournament Travel Fund End of term Dinner Advertising and Documentation Campus Ultimate Tournament High School Team Tournament TOTAL:

Lacrosse Club 0 TOTAL:

990800 Food Count

Laser Tag Club 30 30+

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00 $0.00

Total: Scheduled Date

$0.00

$500.00 $880.00 $100.00 $1,380.00

$450.00 $880.00 $0.00 $1,330.00

$200.00 $600.00

$140.00 $420.00

$800.00

$560.00

$2,450.00 $150.00 $3,800.00 $3,750.00 $550.00 $1,200.00 $11,900.00

$1,400.00 $150.00 $1,700.00 $1,875.00 $550.00 $0.00 $5,675.00

$820.00 $625.00 $1,445.00

$800.00 $520.00 $1,320.00

$945.00 $125.00 $800.00 $725.00 $2,595.00

$630.00 $125.00 $400.00 $725.00 $1,880.00

$1,475.00 $343.75 $385.00 $2,203.75

$617.50 $172.00 $0.00 $789.50

$41,658.75 Requested Amount $8,883.00

$26,636.50 Granted Amount $8,000.00

$0.00

$450.00 $880.00 $0.00 $1,330.00

$450.00 $880.00 $0.00

$1,330.00

$0.00

$140.00 $420.00 $0.00 $560.00

$0.00

$1,400.00 $150.00 $1,700.00 $1,875.00 $550.00 $0.00 $5,675.00

$0.00

$800.00 $520.00 $1,320.00

$0.00

$630.00 $125.00 $400.00 $725.00 $1,880.00

$0.00

$617.50 $172.00 $0.00 $789.50

$140.00 $420.00 $0.00

$0.00

"Battle" Request

$0.00

"Battle" Amount

$0.00

$560.00

$0.00

$1,400.00 $150.00 $1,700.00 $1,875.00 $550.00 $0.00 $5,675.00

$0.00

$800.00 $520.00 $1,320.00

$0.00

$630.00 $125.00 $400.00 $725.00 $1,880.00

$0.00

$617.50 $172.00 $0.00 $789.50

Line-Item Change

Total Funds

Funds Spent

Mobile Robotics Club 25

Open Source Club current-14 expected- 15

Lock-in reservation Lock-In Food

Weekly meetings

Food Outing- Detroit Maker Fare Hack-a-thon Software Distribution

TOTAL: Outdoors Club 80

TOTAL:

$0.00

Food Wet Suit Rental Rafting

Total in Account $0.00 $0.00

$250.00 $230.00 $270.00 $150.00 $180.00 $250.00 $200.00 $750.00

$215.00 $195.00 $270.00 $115.00 $0.00 $115.00 $165.00 $0.00

$2,280.00

$1,075.00

$600.00 $800.00 $1,400.00

$600.00 $0.00 $600.00

$2,000.00 $2,000.00

$1,800.00 $1,800.00

$75.00 $400.00 $400.00 $800.00 $200.00 $300.00 $150.00 $500.00 $500.00 $3,325.00

$50.00 $400.00 $200.00 $0.00 $0.00 $300.00 $0.00 $500.00 $500.00 $1,950.00

$0.00

$1,250.00 $250.00 $1,500.00

$1,050.00 $250.00 $1,300.00

$750.00 $750.00

$500.00 $500.00

$375.00 $180.00 $200.00 $100.00 $855.00

$300.00 $0.00 $100.00 $100.00 $500.00

$0.00

$300.00 $0.00 $100.00 $100.00 $500.00

$0.00

$300.00 $0.00 $100.00 $100.00 $500.00

$300.00 $600.00 $9,007.50 $9,907.50

$300.00 $0.00 $4,800.00 $5,100.00

$0.00

$300.00 $0.00 $4,800.00 $5,100.00

$0.00

$300.00 $0.00 $4,800.00 $5,100.00

$0.00

$215.00 $195.00 $270.00 $115.00 $0.00 $115.00 $165.00 $0.00 $0.00 $1,075.00

$0.00

$600.00 $0.00 $600.00

$0.00

$1,800.00 $1,800.00

$0.00

$50.00 $400.00 $200.00 $0.00 $0.00 $300.00 $0.00 $500.00 $500.00 $1,950.00

$0.00

$1,050.00 $250.00 $1,300.00

215.00 195.00 270.00 115.00 0.00 115.00 165.00 0.00 0.00 $1,075.00 $600.00 $0.00 $600.00

$1,800.00 $1,800.00

$50.00 $400.00 $200.00 $0.00 $0.00 $300.00 $0.00 $500.00 $500.00 $1,950.00

Food

TOTAL:

990240 Food Count

$0.00

$200.00 $1,750.00 $1,950.00

Sport TOTAL:

990410 Food Count

$0.00

$0.00 $275.00 $775.00

Food Charity Rides TOTAL:

Food Count

Page 5

The Technician

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$1,050.00 $250.00 $1,300.00

Page 6

July 25, 2011

The Technician Paintball Club

Food Count

Food Open Play Coached Practice

TOTAL: 990590 Food Count

Physics Club 15

Food Soapbox Derby Physics Project ice cream social TOTAL:

$0.00

$600.00 $100.00 $200.00 $100.00 $1,000.00

$300.00 $100.00 $200.00 $100.00 $700.00

$0.00

$300.00 $100.00 $200.00 $100.00 $700.00

500

400

$500.00 $300.00 $240.00 $1,040.00

$360.00 $250.00 $200.00 $810.00

$0.00

$360.00 $250.00 $200.00 $810.00

$800.00 $3,000.00 $10,800.00

$700.00 $1,500.00 $5,000.00

$1,680.00 $2,000.00 $18,280.00

$1,680.00 $0.00 $8,880.00

$0.00

$300.00 $100.00 $200.00 $100.00 $700.00

$0.00

$360.00 $250.00 $200.00 $810.00

Pre-Med Club Food Count

15 weekly meeting presentations

990890 Food Count

realSERVICE 15

Food for Meetings Christmas in July Poker Tournament

20-25

2nd week 7th week

TOTAL: 990370 Food Count

Trap & Skeet 53

Food 2 Sanctioned Events 9 Trap & Skeet outings Safety Training Course NRA Training Competitions TOTAL:

Food Count

Up Til Dawn 20

Food Count

Welding Club 25

Food Awareness Week Letter Writing Finale

Weekly- mon 4th week

Food Weekend Project Sessions Training Session

$500.00 $500.00 $1,000.00 $2,000.00

$0.00

$200.00 $275.00 $500.00 $975.00

$0.00

$200.00 $275.00 $500.00 $975.00

TOTAL:

$500.00 $730.00 $575.00 $1,805.00

$500.00 $680.00 $0.00 $1,180.00

$0.00

TOTAL:

$46,642.50

$33,770.00

$0.00

Requested Amount

Granted Amount

$200.00 $275.00 $500.00 $975.00

$0.00

$500.00 $680.00 $0.00 $500.00

$0.00

$500.00 $680.00 $0.00 $500.00

$0.00

$44,434.50

$0.00

$44,434.50

Communications Council Account Number 990050

Account Administration

Description

Scheduled Date

"Battle" Request

"Battle" Amount

Line-Item Change

Total Funds

Funds Spent

No Budget TOTAL: 990060 Food Count

WKUF 25

Insurance Food for Meetings Open Mic Night Music and CD Subscriptions Webstream Promotions Supplies TOTAL:

990080 Food Count

Technician 14

Meeting Food Layout Meetings Tabloid Magazine Promotions Events TOTAL:

990070

Tech Staff 0

Reflector 0

$0.00

$750.00 $600.00 $300.00 $500.00 $100.00 $300.00 $25.00 $2,575.00

$750.00 $250.00 $150.00 $200.00 $100.00 $100.00 $0.00 $1,550.00

$450.00 $120.00 $2,460.00 $600.00 $200.00 $690.00 $4,520.00

$350.00 $75.00 $2,460.00 $500.00 $0.00 $270.00 $3,655.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$750.00 $250.00 $150.00 $200.00 $100.00 $100.00 $0.00 $1,550.00

$0.00

$350.00 $75.00 $2,460.00 $500.00 $0.00 $270.00 $3,655.00

$0.00

$350.00 $75.00 $2,460.00 $500.00 $0.00 $270.00 $3,655.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$750.00 $250.00 $150.00 $200.00 $100.00 $100.00 $0.00 $1,550.00

$0.00

Yearbook Food $0.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00 $0.00

TOTAL:

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

TOTAL:

$7,095.00

$5,205.00

$0.00

$5,205.00

$0.00

$5,205.00

TOTAL: 990110

$0.00

No Budget TOTAL:

990100 Food Count

$0.00

Total in Account

Photo Staff 0

Supplies

Campus Activities Council Account Number 990120

Account Administration 0

Description

Scheduled Date

Food

Granted Amount

"Battle" Request

$0.00 $0.00

$1,000.00

$200.00

TOTAL:

$3,000.00 $3,000.00 $7,000.00

$2,800.00 $3,000.00 $6,000.00

$0.00

TOTAL:

$7,000.00

$6,000.00

$108,201.25

$78,741.50

TOTAL: 990180

Requested Amount

"Battle" Amount

Line-Item Change

Total Funds

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

Grand TOTAL:

$0.00

$0.00 $0.00

$0.00

$200.00 $0.00 $2,800.00 $3,000.00 $6,000.00

$0.00

$200.00 $0.00 $2,800.00 $3,000.00 $6,000.00

$0.00

$6,000.00

$0.00

$6,000.00

$0.00

$62,469.50

$0.00

$62,469.50

$0.00

KSG Snap Shot

Capital Fee

Food Amount

KSG Food Amount

Total in Account

Events Welcome Back Day Diversity Week Wings Night Late Night Breakfast

# of Students Activity Fee

Funds Spent

850 $126.00

Gross Operating Funds

$107,100.00

$6.30

Capital Funds

$5,355.00

1.5%

Connie John Fund

$1,606.50

$20.00

Net Operating Funds

$100,138.50

$25.00 Rollover from last term 19% of Net Operating Funds

Athletics Fund

$0.00 $19,026.32

Funds Available

$81,112.19

Current Funds

Requested $108,201.25

KSG Budget Balance

$(27,089.07)

Distributed $78,741.50 $2,370.69 Difference Covered By Austerity Plan

July 25, 2011

Page 7

The Technician

Top 10 Clubs by Total Cost

Top 10 Clubs by Food per Member

Dollars and Sense

be. You, the student reader, paid $126 this quarter for the privilege of having a student government, clubs, and activities as part of your college experience. Therefore, we at The Technician entreat you: Examine these graphs. Read the budget line items. Attend Student Government events like Wings Night and Late Night Breakfast. Visit a ksg meeting and understand how decisions are made. ksg Since The Technician first began publishing the meetings occur every day of the week for the several ksg budget in Summer 2010, the practice has grown councils at lunch in the ksg office on the 3rd floor to a quarterly ritual of data entry, analysis, and graph- of the Campus Center. making. We at The Technician feel that transparency Attending college places the student in a comis essential to good government, particularly in uni- munity of their peers, and paying the student activversity affairs. However, a transparent government ity fee gives students the right and responsibility to is only as accountable as its constituency forces it to

An Editorial

engage in student life. Participation in the student bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-governance can be a meaningful and rewarding experience; the marginal cost is nothing but your time and mental energy. Do you have questions, comments, or ideas related to student government or the budget? Write to atechnician@kettering.edu.

For more information on the ksg budget and additional graphs, visit The Technician online at bulldogs. kettering.edu/technician.

Page 8

The Technician

Collage

Students play cornhole near the Bell Tower (top left), while two members of Alpha Phi play volleyball near the pavilion (top right). Delta Chi's lan party (below) produced a psychedelic display of colors in Bj's Lounge

July 25, 2011

The Technician

Freshmen enjoy a film outside of Thompson Hall during Movie on the Beach.

Students congregate in the lobby of Thompson Hall to play video games.

Page 9

Page 10

The Technician

Campus Life Freshmen Speak Up

After a week of class, The Technician stopped by Thompson Hall to talk to freshmen. Sixteen students gave us some insight on what brought them here and what they most enjoy about the school. Each student was asked these three questions: 1. How did you hear about Kettering? 2. What aspects of the school made you want to come here? 3. Since coming here, what about the school do you like the most? Here are a sampling of the student's responses to the questions. They answers are printed below in the order shown above.

Alan Xia 1. My parents 2. Co-op, scholarship, and the small campus 3. The culture here; everyone is incredibly friendly. You will routinely see the same people, and the professors are friendly.

Maria Goodpaster 1. My brother went here 2. Co-op program 3. Being in the awesome Unit 24

Nathan Moss 1. The school e-mailed me 2. Co-op 3. The smaller campus, because it's easier to get around

Chad Barnes

Ryan Hauger

1. Online 2. Co-op 3. The student involvement in sports and other activities

1. I heard about it from my uncle in conversation 2. Definitely the co-op program 3. How small it is—you get to meet lots of people

Cody Adams 1. My high school counselor 2. Co-op 3. Classes

Colin Mahar 1. Online 2. Co-op 3. The student involvement in sports and other activities.

Mallika Wadhawan

Will Savoie 1. My brother goes here and I heard how great it was 2. The scholarships & co-op 3. The class sizes and being able to do whatever I want

Things of Interest: Students had a diverse set of experiences that initially made them aware of Kettering. Family and the Internet, however, stood out as most oft-cited sources of information. Out of the sixteen respondents, all but three said that co-op was the reason they came to Kettering. The school's size was seen as an advantage, as is the student body's relative politeness.

Editor's Note: The students above were those from 1. I got some stuff in the mail the survey that allowed their photograph to be used in 2. The co-op program The Technician. Their answers as provided above are 3. The small class sizes faithful representations of the spirit of their responses, but have been altered to fit in the space allotted or to enhance clarity of thought. No additional emphasis was provided.

July 25, 2011

New Director of Residence Life Continued from the front page

She has observed that each of the sections do things differently, though the concepts and end results are the same. One of the ideas she is working on is a program that would allow students to view housing information and choose their room assignment. Katie stated, “The program is similar to Blackboard in how it displays the class information… it would be like Blackboard for housing information.” She also wants to see more academic programs available in the Residence Hall as well as activity programs to “get residents out of their rooms.” She plans to look at the Residence Hall policies with the rha of both sections to see what is working and what might need to be added to the policies. Bosio is also working on making the Residence Hall more appealing to upperclassmen and would love to see Thompson Hall filled with residents. Many upperclassmen asked for housing at the last minute during the Residence Hall Directors; Katie hopes to make Thompson Hall a place where they want to live and to encourage the upperclassmen to plan ahead. She believes that living on campus is easier for students since she also lived on campus during her undergraduate years. “You don’t have to clean your own bathrooms and it’s close to classes.” Some facts about Katie: she collects monkeys, her favorite color is purple, and she loves to cook. “You’ll often find interesting smells coming out of my apartment.” She also has a lot of extended family living in the area. She encourages students to connect electronically through Facebook (Kettering University Residence Life), Twitter (@KetteringResLif ), and Aol Instant Messenger (KetteringResLif (Monday–Friday, 8 am – 5 pm). She may also be contacted via e-mail at reslife@kettering.edu.

Submissions Policy The Technician encourages any interested students to attend staff meetings, held each Tuesday and Friday over the lunch hour in The Technician office, located on the 3rd floor of the Campus Center by Campus Life. Student submissions are encouraged and will be published if their material is in the public interest. Submissions or letters to the editor from faculty or administrative entities will be published if space is available. The Technician reserves the right to edit any and all submissions for brevity. Anonymous submissions are rarely published and will be considered on a case-by-case basis. Individuals wishing to publish anonymously should consult the editor-in-chief. The deadline for the upcoming issue of The Technician is 5th Tuesday at noon. Expected distribution is 6th Tuesday. Send submissions to atechnician@kettering.edu.

July 25, 2011

Page 11

The Technician

KSG & Clubs Contact List A-Section Contact List Summer 2011 KSG Advisor

Council/Chair

Name Stewart, Debbie

Email dstewart@kettering.edu

PHONE (810) 762-9679

Senate/President Senate/Vice President Senate/Administrator Senate/Senior Rep Senate/Senior Rep Senate/Junior Rep Senate/Junior Rep Senate/Sophomore Rep Senate/Freshman Rep Senate/Freshman Rep Senate/Multicultural Rep Senate/Multicultural Rep

Huong Chim Michael Steinert Meredith Brassell Blake Wischer Tyler Finnegan Justin Cetnar Don Ebben Bryannan Santo Isabella Zapinski Raymond Hyder Trimechia Moore Mathis Allen

chim7773@kettering.edu stei9860@kettering.edu bras5075@kettering.edu wisc8295@kettering.edu finn4723@kettering.edu cetn2953@kettering.edu ebbe8674@kettering.edu sant6850@kettering.edu zapi2876@kettering.edu hyde3304@kettering.edu moor4970@kettering.edu alle1410@kettering.edu

Thursdays Lunch

OC/Director OC/Assistant Director OC/Administrator OC/Activities OC/Entertainment OC/Entertainment OC/ Advertisment OC/ Advertisment OC/Standards Chair OC/Diversity Week OC Athletics OC/Philanthropy

Scott Builta Amanda Askew Richard Pease Zachary Johnson Tylor Schlink Allison Hilditch Scott Hoffman Nate Bigelow Elizabeth McLean Joshua Wildermuth Jennifer Taraski Ariel Childress

buil4983@kettering.edu aaa.031090@gmail.com peas3264@kettering.edu john1705@kettering.edu schl0747@kettering.edu hild2168@kettering.edu hoff6282@kettering.edu bige1943@kettering.edu mcle1990@kettering.edu wild4224@kettering.edu tara1064@kettering.edu chil5080@kettering.edu

Wednesdays Lunch

OC/Web Master/Tech Staff

Kimberly Marquette

marq4822@kettering.edu

FC/Treasurer FC/ Assistant Treasurer FC/Secretary FC/Capital & Communications FC/Administrative Assets FC/Activities Asset Manager FC/Activities Asset Manager

Heather Allen Caitlan Williams Adam Schneider Jennifer Rellinger Pete Thorwall Trent Johnson (A-G) Scott Builta (H-Z)

alle6024@kettering.edu will4629@kettering.edu schn4227@kettering.edu rell9050@kettering.edu thor7726@kettering.edu john1756@kettering.edu buil4983@kettering.edu

AC/Director AC/Asst. Director AC/Feedback Coordinator AC/Public Relations Coordinator AC/ Project Team AC/ Project Team AC/ Project Team

Mike Antonacci Matt Jokerst Mohit Dave Adlai Milbitz TJ Clark John Oliver Breana Hyden

anto2748@kettering.edu joke8072@kettering.edu dave1852@kettering.edu milb3100@kettering.edu clar4117@kettering.edu oliv9240@kettering.edu hyde7709@kettering.edu

CLUBS Aerosciences Club Airsoft Club Allies Anime Aquaneers BUC Campus Crusade for Christ Chess Club Cliffhangers Dance Fencing Club Firebirds Gaming Society GEO Grill Club Improv Club International Club Laser Tag Muddboggers NSBE Open Source Club Outdoors Physics Club realService SHPE SWE The Technician Technician Trap & Skeet Ultimate Frisbee Club Welding Club WKUF

Contact Jacob Crabill Justin Cetnar Wallee Keating Elizabeth Talsma Caleb Harrison Imari Swanson Kenneth Skeldon Zach Johnson

Email crab7777@kettering.edu cetn2953@kettering.edu keat6532@kettering.edu tals5490@kettering.edu harr8289@kettering.edu swan8620@kettering.edu skel0334@kettering.edu john1705@kettering.edu

Racquel Lovlace Mike Schreiber Alex Ripstein Max Batimer Tiffany Snow Andrew Brinks Mike Antonachi Locksly Wallace Don Ebben Micheal Wroblicky Keishawna Baker Noah Gagnon Phil Nimmo Jacob Crabill Justin Arnold Michael Martinez Melissa Partlo Robert RobertHayes Hays Joe Flaig Zach Johnson Zach Green Wallee Keating

love7534@kettering.edu schr4389@kettering.edu rips1845@kettering.edu boti7243@kettering.edu snow6844@gmail.com brin6298@kettering.edu anto2748@kettering.edu wall3706@kettering.edu ebbe8674@kettering.edu wrob9662@kettering.edu bake6828@kettering.edu gagn2993@kettering.edu nimm2752@kettering.edu crab7777@kettering.edu arno2732@kettering.edu mart4990@kettering.edu part5993@kettering.edu haye5377@kettering flai1300@kettering.edu john1705@kettering.edu gree5909@gmail.com keat6532@kettering.edu

Tuesdays Lunch

Mondays Lunch

Location AB 1817/1819

Meeting Day & Time Mondays at 12:20PM

Good Beans CafĂŠ AB 1817 Rec Center BUC Lounge

Fridays at 6PM Saturdays 6PM-12AM Even Wednesdays 12:30PM Odd Tuesdays 12:20PM

5-200 CC

Tuesdays & Thursdays 9PM

BJ's Lounge Thursdays 9PM Flint YMCA Mondays at 7:15 PM AB 1817 Odd Wednesdays at 12:20PM Commuter's Lounge Wednesdays 6PM-12AM SCEC Thursdays at 12:20PM Pavillion Wednesdays 11PM The Pool Mon & Weds 10PM Heritage Room Even Tuesdays 12:20PM TBA TBA Pool Tuesdays at 12:20PM Room A Mondays at 6:00PM Cribathon Wednesdays at 6:30PM AB 1817 7/19, 8/2, 8/16 12:20PM AB 2716 Every Tuesday at 12:20PM SCEC Tuesday at 12:20PM SHPE Room Fridays at 12:20PM WRC Odd Wednesdays at 12:20PM 3-141 CC Tues and Fri at 12.20PM Gen. Sports. Club Sunday at Noon Athletic Feilds Mon, Wed, Thurs 6:30-8:00PM TBD TBD BJ's Tuesdays at 8PM

Page 12

The Technician

Greek Life

July 25, 2011

Clarifications Delta Chi did not respond in time for the orientation edition's "It's All Greek to Me" section. The content was not incorrect, but the chapter requested an updated piece be printed.

Delta Chi

Above, Kettering's Greek community stand with their brethren and sistren for a formal photo, before moving into a fun pose (below). Photos courtesy of Kettering Communications

Delta Chi LAN Party

By Michelle Figueroa Technician Staff

If you like video games, great people, and great food, the Delta Chi lan Party was where you needed to be on Friday, July 15 at Bj’s Lounge. People were playing Halo, Call of Duty, rocking out with Rock Band and plenty more. If games are not your thing, it was also a great chance to get to know some new people and just enjoy the great music and delicious grilled food.

Staff photos taken by Joseph Stevenson

President: Josh Oberhaus josh.oberhaus@gmail.com (419) 966-0897 Recruitment: Don Ebben don.ebben@gmail.com (248) 767-7442 Summary: The Kettering-A Chapter of the Delta Chi Fraternity is focused on providing an experience very different from the common stereotype portrayed of a social fraternity. One of the many unique aspects about Delta Chi is that there are no mandatory events. This also allows members plenty of flexibility for when school gets challenging— which aligns itself with the importance we place in academics. Our house, and events are dry— we feel that keeping alcohol off of the premises results in a more comfortable environment. Be sure to stop by our house and join in at our events to see what we’re all about.

Panhellenic Council Welcome Back Welcome back! The women of Kettering University's Panhellenic Council would like to welcome everyone to Summer 2011! Both Alpha Sigma Alpha and Alpha Phi are hosting many exciting events throughout the term. 4th Saturday (August 6) is Alpha Phi's Phi-athalon—see a sister in the Great Court 4th week during lunch for information and to sign up! Alpha Phi is also having their initiation, an alumnæ event and Parent's Day all 9th weekend. Alpha Sigma Alpha's Parent's / Alumnæ barbecue is 7th Sunday and their annual Spaghetti Dinner at the ASA house is planned for later in the term. Have a great term!

Only Online! The Technician gets a lot of great content in, but we can only publish so much on paper! To appease the trees, we are publishing exclusive content online. You can get it all at bulldogs. kettering.edu/technician. If you want to view current or previous editions of The Technician or The μTechnician in color and online, visit issuu.com/thetechnician.

July 25, 2011

The Technician

Automotive & Technology

Page 13

Power With Responsibility New 3.5L EcoBoost V6 Outperforms Traditional Truck V8 Engines By Robert Hayes Editor-in-chief When Ford announced last year that their new 3.5-liter EcoBoost V6 engine would arrive as the premium engine in the 2011 Ford F-150, many critics were skeptical of the high-tech engine’s appeal to traditional pickup truck buyers. The truck market has long been the last remaining bastion of big pushrod V8 engines, and the new twin-turbocharged, directinjected EcoBoost V6 marks a radical departure from the truck norm. In the first six months of this year, over half of F-150s have been equipped with V6 engines, with the EcoBoost engine representing over 40% of total F-150 sales, shattering perceptions of the V8’s unyielding dominance in the truck market. The EcoBoost V6 promises V8 performance with V6 fuel economy, and it delivers through the combination of twin turbochargers delivering 13 psi of boost, a gasoline direct-injection system that pressurizes fuel to 2,150 psi, twin independent variable camshaft timing (Ti-Vct), as well as a high-strength

lightweight all-aluminum block construction. MatThis remarkable engine joins a family of all-new ed to Ford’s 6R80 6-speed automatic transmission, powertrains in the 2011 F-150, including Ford’s 3.7L these technologies deliver fuel economy of up to 18 V6 and 5.0L V8, both of which join the F-150 after debuting to critical acclaim in the 2011 Mustang. Additionally, an all-new 6.2L V8 is available on upscale F-150 trims and the F-150 svt Raptor off-road pickup. With power and fuel economy that competing V8s can’t match, the F-150’s new EcoBoost V6 is inspiring truck buyers to challenge the myth that eight cylinders are the sole judge of a truck’s performance. Competitors are taking notice as well, with the announcement that Chrysler’s new 3.6L Pentastar V6 will be available in the Ram 1500 next year. General Motors is also rumored to be developing a 3.0L twin-turbocharged V6 based on the CadilMPG in the city and 21 MPG on the highway, best- lac srx’s direct-injected lf1 V6. ing all standard V8 engines in the half-ton market The 2011 Ford F-150 EcoBoost starts at $28,185. while delivering enough torque to tow a best-in- It is assembled in Dearborn, Michigan and Kansas class 11,300 pound payload and enough power to City, Missouri. pull the 5,600 pound EcoBoost F-150 4x4 from 0 to 60 miles per hour in 6.1 seconds—on par with the Photo courtesy of Ford Motor Company 2012 Chevrolet Camaro RS.

3DS Excels at Display, Fails at Battery Life

By Devin Aryan Technician Staff

So the 3DS was released March 27 for a whopping $250, but is the new Nintendo handheld worth it? Having bought the system on day one, and having traded in a beautiful DSi XL for $100 off, it’s time to examine Nintendo’s newest handheld to see if it lives up to the hype.

Perhaps the largest point of contention is the skepticism toward the 3D claims that Nintendo has made. Since the majority of consumers view advertisements on regular 2D televisions, attempts to show through a 2D medium that the 3DS’s upper screen works just as they have claimed are nigh impossible for the gaming company. The 3D technology does work, though not as many seem to have thought it would. For example, 3D display does not imply holograms; they don’t display messages from Leia, Obi-Wan, or Darth Sidious. Instead, it uses

what is known as a parallax barrier to create a 3D illusion by sending different images to each eye. The depth of the 3D effect can be intensified via a slider switch, but this decreases the viewing angle. Now it is time to focus on all the aspects that considered most important for handheld systems. For starters, the new joystick that was added to keep up with Sony’s PSP has one critical feature that distinguishes it from most other joysticks. Usually the thumb-sized circle on the top of the stick is concave, but the joystick found on the 3DS (technically called a “circle pad”) is convex. This does not sound like too large of a change; however, the new design actually allows the thumb to slip, slowly sliding away from the center until it has slipped completely off and possibly hurt the performance of the player within the game. In a continuation of Nintendo’s tradition of backwards compatibility on successive generations of its handheld systems, the 3DS is capable of playing DS titles and DSiWare. Some crowds still have their misgivings about a lack of backwards compatibility with GBA titles, but it should be mentioned that this feature was dropped with the release of the DSi (released three years ago). DS titles and DSiWare run flawlessly on the 3DS; few systems can truly such claims of backwards compatibility. For instance, the PS Vita—Sony’s current competitor against the 3DS—will only be backwards compatible for select digital PSP titles. A very interesting feature, though important to only a few, are the three cameras located on the sys-

tem: one above the top screen and two outside. The two outside are able to take 3D pictures, which is always fun, and they also allow for 3D AR technology to be used. The final point—one of the most critical for handheld game systems—is the battery life, standing between 3-5 hours at the highest of 5 different brightness settings. This is roughly the same as the DSi, but still inferior to the original DS, DS Lite, and DSi XL by varying degrees. Due to multiple factors, such as the level of wireless activity and the 3D intensity, the battery life fluctuates. At the lowest backlight setting with wireless communications on and 3D off, the battery will last anywhere from 5 to 8 hours, depending on how often sleep mode is used. Having been spoiled by the DSi XL, this great decrease in battery life was a bit depressing, but the time is not horrible. All in all, this reviewer feels that the system is very enjoyable. Unfortunately, most of the “release titles” were pushed back to later dates, so having bought a 3DS on the first day without these anticipated titles left a somewhat bitter taste. Despite that, the system is already thoroughly enjoyable, and now that all the formerly-delayed games are being released, it will certainly get much better. Photo of Nintendo 3DS courtesy of Nintendo.

Page 14

The Technician

Entertainment

July 25, 2011

Meme of the Month Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

By Dominic Jandrain Entertainment Columnist Nyan Cat, also known as Pop-Tart Cat, has been quite popular online since sometime in April of this year. For those of you unfamiliar with Nyan Cat, it is a pixelated cat wearing a Pop-Tart and travelling through space via rainbow propulsion with a constant song looping in the background; the lyrics of the song consist solely of the word “nyan.” For those of you wondering where the word “nyan” came from, “nya” is the Japanese onomatopoeia for the noise a cat makes ( “meow” in Japanese), and since the word is repeated continuously in the song, the good people of teh internetz interpreted it as “nyan” rather than “nya.” It’s definitely worth checking out the video if you haven’t seen it, so go look it up on YouTube or something (like right now). There are also several websites dedicated to this awesome cat; the most prominent of these is nyan.cat. Although this site usually features a cat wearing what appears to be buttered bread or toast instead of a Pop-Tart, it does have a nice timer to keep track of how long you have nyaned (as the verb is known), as well as a few nice Easter eggs.

Personally, my favorite website featuring Nyan Cat is slobro.org, which has several gifs of Nyan Cat flying about the screen. Unfortunately, it does not have a timer to keep track of how long you have been nyaning, which is disappointing. Over the past two weeks, I have been keeping track of how long I have been nyaning. I didn’t spend all of my time on one video or web site, I spread it out quite a bit. Most of my time was spent on nyan.cat, because I found the timer to be quite helpful. I also nyaned to several remixes including the smooth jazz version, dubstep version, orchestrate, and various dance remixes. I also logged some time with a few games and phone apps, so I had something to do while listening to a cat wearing a pop-tart repeat the same word endlessly. The chart shows my accomplishments in depth. It isn’t terribly difficult to figure out why Nyan Cat is so popular. Think about it: a catchy tune, a cute cat, a Pop-Tart (the favorite breakfast food of everyone between the ages of 4 and 9), rainbows, and travelling through space at ridiculous speeds. Since its creation, it has been combined with tons of other memes, covered and remixed many times, and the original video has reached over 25 million views

on YouTube. At one point, YouTube even changed the progress bar on the video to look like Nyan Cat flying across the bottom of the player instead of the regular red loader bar, which was super awesome. It has since been removed, but it was great while it lasted. Even though it debuted in April, Nyan Cat is still going strong and according to Google Trends, even gaining popularity. It looks like the rainbowpropelled Pop-Tart cat is going to be here for quite a while yet, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the nyans.

Columnist's Note: Here at The Technician, we try our best to make our articles available to everyone, regardless of their native language. Currently, this article is offered in English and Nyan. If you or someone you know needs a copy of this article that has been translated into Nyan, send me an e-mail at jand7711@kettering.edu and I will e-mail you a copy as soon as possible.

Comic by Marie Klosowski

July 25, 2011

The Technician

Exciting New Discoveries at Kettering

Turtle Theory of Matter By John Oliver Technician Staff The thesis department at Kettering has always been at the forefront of cutting-edge research. We at The Technician are delighted to bring our readers a summary of the latest cutting-edge research coming out of the Kettering labs. Most people know that the Earth is a large square plate supported by a turtle. What most people don’t know is what’s supporting the initial turtle. This may seem like a trivial question because of the impossibility of reaching the initial turtle, much less anything beyond. It is true that with modern capabilities, it is impossible to see the great turtle, but scientists can still measure the effects of our turtle-based world and subsequently discover many things about both the initial turtle and its support. Using this data, I have compiled a new theory of matter that explains many of the unanswered questions that were left by quantum theory. Based on seismic readings, it can be determined that the great initial turtle is standing on top of four other smaller turtles. The question then arises: what are these turtles standing on? Well, isn’t it obvious if one turtle was standing on another, then wouldn’t that turtle be standing on another turtle, and another, and another? What this leads to is an increasing number of turtles with a decreased size. Due to the laws of conservation of mass, the total mass of all turtles under a select turtle must equal the mass

of the turtle above it, so each level of turtles is equal to any other turtle in mass. This includes the world. This part is fairly easy to accept, but what causes a lot of trouble is when people think about the smallest level of turtles. Obviously, turtles can’t keep getting smaller until they cease to exist; they must reach a stopping point. It has been discovered that they do not reach a stopping point so much as they reach a closeness point. Since the turtles keep the same mass from level to level, but become smaller they will lose height, while gaining width. This means that turtles will get closer and closer to each other, but what happens when they touch? Well, turtles, like all animals, have certain desires for reproduction. When they can finally touch, the turtles begin to mate. They will bond to certain turtles, repel others, and create offspring. Since the level is already touching, the turtles need not get any smaller, although they are already quite small (roughly 0.5 nm). What happens at this level is quite fascinating and very complex. There is still much to be discovered about what goes on in the mating rituals of the turtles, but what we have recently discovered is quite fascinating: when the turtles bond, they create compounds. These compounds are the fundamental particles that make up our world, but how do they get to our world? Well, the newly-created turtles are born into a very crowded world. There is no room for them, so they must travel to different levels. All levels have the same mass; therefore, an equal amount of “turtle” must travel to each level. This has led to the theory of the expanding universe. Since all levels are growing, the universe must be growing. Once a turtle travels to a new level, it becomes part of the turtle that it is on. It is weird to think that you

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and I and this piece of paper are all just billions of mini turtles, but it’s true. This still leaves the question: what is it all standing on? Well, it doesn’t make sense that there would be no room for the new turtles if there was not something on the other side. While it cannot be confirmed, it is believed that there is an identical tower of turtles in the opposite direction. This identical tower must follow the same law of conser vation of mass, and therefore must have a large central world on the other side. While not much is known about this alternate world, we do know they must have the same mass as our Earth. Could this be an alternate dimension where dinosaurs wore top hats? We don’t know. What we do know is that anything could be possible.

Photo from Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories by Dr. Seuss (1958).

Doghouse Diaries courtesy of www.thedoghousediaries.com, #2888

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