Entertainment Issue by The Tertangala

ISSUE

FREE

UOW

STUDENT MAGAZINE

2016

T H E E N T E R T A I N M E N T I S S U E

EDITORS Jake Cupitt Claudia Poposki CONTRIBUTORS GRAPHIC DESIGNER Ally Griffith

PRINTER Print & Mail

SUB-EDITORS Caelan Maxon

PUBLISHER

Kurtis Hughes

Wollongong Undergraduate

Zoe Simmons

Student Association

Aisha Sini

Ben Kohler

Zoe Simmons

Jess Muscat

Claudia Poposki

Amy Fairall

Jake Cupitt

Brenton Miller

Sarah Mieth

Annika Tague

Sarah Leong

Grace White

Oliver Chaseling

Jamie Reynolds

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editorials

columns

we heart coffee

cockroach’s & referring decisions, our legacy once we are gone

are we ever adults?

how do you let go of hate?

features

lessons we learnt from chick flicks

film review: The Witch: A New-England Folktale

a guide for getting into Marvel comic books

my favourite musical experiences - and the worst one

is the live music industry dying?

a book for a shy girl

the remedy of a melody

why you should give foreign entertainment a go

Why Mindy Kaling is my ultimate girl crush

top 3 shows you may have missed on Netflix

DC Movies: some of my thoughts on what’s going on and what they should do

a rescue in the Rye

people to watch in the industry

breaking barriers: an interview with Wollongong’s

newest queer femmo band, The Nah

feature artist: Oliver Chaseling

creative writing

part two

part three

it was something like a soundtrack

the end

Disclosure:

Acknowledgement of country:

Disclaimer:

The contents of this publication are made for and by the students of the University of Wollongong. Views expressed are of individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of WUSA or the publisher.

Tertangala and WUSA acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land upon which we meet and work, that of the Dharawal people. We pay our respect to their elders past, present and future, for they hold the memories, the traditions, the culture and the hopes for Indigenous Australia.

Responsibility for the Tertangala is taken by the WUSA council. The University of Wollongong accepts no responsibility for this publication.

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claudia poposki

WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki

I was eight the first time I picked up a novel. It was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I don’t think I have been able to stop reading since, although I definitely don’t get enough time to read as recreationally as I would like. This edition is dedicated to those who can’t stop reading, or dancing with their headphones at full volume or spend way too much time falling in love with characters on the screen rather than associating with the real world. I often find myself thinking of the phrase from Robin Williams’ Dead Poet’s Society, “Words and ideas can change the world.” It’s why I find myself so wrapped up in the stories of other’s – whether that is the spoken or written word – because they help me shape my world-view. However, this issue is also for those who are a little timid about diving into these worlds. The worlds of music, film and literature can be overwhelming sometimes – but with a leap of faith – you’ll find yourself having regretted not doing so earlier. So, welcome to the Music, Film and Literature issue, we hope the world of entertainment entrances you as much as it does us. 4/

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jake cupitt

WORDS / Jake Cupitt @jakecupitt

When I was young I didn’t read much. I usually only read when it was required in English class to answer the questions for the chapter review. But then I read Gary Paulsen’s Hatchet series. Hatchet was the story of a young boy trapped in the Canadian wilderness with nothing but a hatchet. He managed to survive on his own and eventually get rescued, but after returning to civilization he finds the world too loud and busy and confusing. He longs for the quiet and peace of the wilderness, so he goes back. It was a daring adventure of patience and resilience, and as a little loner 13 year old, it made me feel better with being on my own some times. My point is, music, film and literature offer an escape that some of us need, and all of us love. Who doesn’t enjoy sitting in the cinema and forgetting the world outside by going on missions with James Bond, or hoping like hell Joy and Sadness manage to find a way back with the precious core memories. Sit down and read a book, or put on your favourite album, or go to the movies on a Thursday when the new releases come out. Escape. J /5

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from the desk of the WUSA President

WORDS / Sam Tedeschi / President Wollongong Undergraduate Studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Association wusapresident@gmail.com

It has never been a more exciting time to be a UOW student. In early August, the members of WUSA and the students of UOW decided that enough was enough and they made their voice heard. Our students decided that they could no longer be represented by the National Union of Students and voted to disaffiliate from them. UOW students have had enough of the NUS pretending to stand up for students and claiming to represent them. They have voted overwhelmingly to remove themselves and their representatives on campus from a body that is too selfinterested and disconnected from mainstream students. The NUS is a body that simply yells and stamps their feet like petulant children rather than engaging in meaningful discussions over policies and ideas. Students voted to have nothing further to do with an organisation that chooses violent protest and petty factional struggles over the interests of real students.

The WUSA Council led this campaign to disaffiliate because we understand that students donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want full-time activists pushing their own agendas instead of acting in the interests of mainstream students. They want representatives to make the student experience at university even better, just as WUSA this year has continued to work with the University to get ECHO360 recordings available in all lectures. We have also been making sure that the student voice is heard in relation to the allocation of SSAF funding to various projects across UOW, as well as in relation to various new university policies.

This campaign has been a great victory for students who demand better of their representatives.

We work hard for students, we work in their best interests and we work to make UOW even better.

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we heart coffee WORDS / Annika Tague

She is smooth and she is warm. She is a giver and not a taker. She casts her spell; a full-bodied aroma that canopies itself around every curve of your body, filling deep inside your pores, until you succumb and hand over $3.80. “One small cappuccino, please.” We have accepted this legal drug into our world, one that’s smell is far more enticing than it’s taste and yet, we don’t know how to say “no”. We cannot live without the endearing cup of joe that makes the day five trillion times easier. All coffee-drinkers will agree: this is not an exaggeration. However, that is the thing about coffee; it makes us crazy, in more ways than one. If you miss your daily dose, it’s likely you’ll find yourself yelling at your boyfriend for being five minutes late, or crawling into bed at 7:30 pm with tears of frustration rolling down your cheeks, cursing your body for being so tired and weak. Most of the time, if we miss a cup, we don’t even realise. We go through the day, as per usual, and suddenly problems start to arise. The simple task of plugging in a phone charger can take an extra few moments, because you can’t seem to line it up to the power point quite right. Our anger isn’t heavy or vengeful, it is tearful and confused. Without coffee, we are nothing. 10 /

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As university students, coffee has become something friendly to us. There is a vast range of coffee suppliers on campus and where we choose to indulge is quite sacred. If you visit a different café than your usual, one might equate this to cheating. But really, you are only cheating yourself, for you know what roast agrees with you best, you know which barista will provide you with the silky-smooth soy milk that you desire, and to go anywhere else would merely ruin the consuming experience. Drinking coffee goes much further than the smooth taste and long lasting effect, it’s always an appropriate social occasion. “Coffee dates” can be with anyone from your grandmother, perhaps an old teacher or professor, or that cute guy from biology you’ve been eyeing off for a while. But asking him to join you for an evening, alcoholic beverage seems a bit too risqué when you’re genuinely looking for a good conversation. No matter how much we like to believe that coffee “loosens us up”, it tends to do the extreme opposite. With a few shots too much, we turn into highly-strung, stressed out baboons. One would suggest that you don’t have a cuppa before your date with hot biology guy; a shot of vodka would almost be a better option.

The undoubtedly worst part of identifying as a coffee drinker is not how crazy it makes you, but how crazy it makes you about coffee. Anyone who has worked in a coffee shop will agree that coffee customers are the worst kind of people. Not only are they grumpy, and make jokes like, “better after this coffee” when you ask how they are, but they’re arrogant. If you work for a local business, local customers will assume that you know their coffee order by face, regardless of the fact that you have never served them before. They will hand you their money, with a blank look on their face, and then a frustrated brow furrow when you look somewhat confused, because you seem to be serving a mute. Even worse than this, customers become so consumed by the coffee drinking business, they try their hardest to conjure up the most difficult and unheard of beverage; “one large triple ristretto soy latte on decaf please.” Coffee is delicious, it’s good for the soul and the mind, but those kinds of people are the worst and the coffee world would be a much better place without them. / 11

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WORDS / Brenton Miller

Mid way through the 2016 NRL season and it’s hard to remember what football used to look like. There are so many rules, so many interpretations; so many referrals to the video ref and oh so many errors that to count them all feels a bit like catching Pokémon. Twenty years ago, games were won and lost by the 34 players out on the field. Now they wait anxiously almost every time they put the ball over the line just in case they combed their hair the wrong way in the morning. The nervous glances up to the big screen to see if their hand slipped momentarily from the ball, the held breath to confirm that no teammate touched someone else in a contact sport – this surely cannot be adding to the game. It has gotten to the point where watching a game of rugby league over the weekend has become a tedious affair that requires the full attention of the viewer. No longer can you be a casual observer of the game. 12 /

Gone are the days of multitasking while you are watching the footy. With all the rule changes, the interpretations, the head scratching decisions and the baffled explanations from the commentary experts, you need to a pen and paper to write a thesis on what you are watching. If former players, former coaches and lifelong commentators of the sport can’t explain the conclusion of a man in the bunker, then what chance do the rest of us have? A referee on the field has to take a wild guess in many instances as to whether a try has been scored or not. The worst part about that is, if they get their 50/50 guess wrong it can decide the game. The video ref sits in their bunker and thinks to themselves “after reviewing these images 20 times from nine different

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cockroach’s & referring decisions, our legacy once we are gone

angles I have come to the conclusion that I’m pretty sure it’s not a try but the sweaty man on the field who was 15 metres away reckons it was a try so I have to agree”. If we are going to persist in our over the top reliance on technology to adjudicate on a game played by humans, can we at least let the technology be impartial? Let the person in the control booth have control of whether or not it was a try, not this assumption the on field adjudicator is correct. This bunker system was adapted from far more successful versions in the USA, from sports with greater monetary value than most nations. Why is it then that even when we steal ideas from other sports, nations or people, we still can’t get it right? We are left to watch a diminished product that charges exorbitant amounts of money to ‘enjoy’ without any increase in our satisfaction.

The fault for this can’t be laid squarely on the shoulders of the officials in charge, most of the time they are doing the best with what they have, an ever-expanding rule book that contains about 50 different shades of grey. But the law makers, the rule writers and whoever else is throwing their two cents in, need to stop before they create a game that can only be processed by sentient robots. One thing is for sure though. Once we have left this earth the only things to survive will be cockroach’s and video files containing the worst referring blunders known to man. Tucked away safe and sound in that little old bunker. / 13

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WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki

Ever since we were children, we have build up this expectation of what we call an adult. They’re smart, in a steady relationship and have a 9-5 job that pays the bills with enough left over to travel and enjoy themselves. Essentially, somebody with their shit together. An Urban Dictionary definition puts it best when it says, “a soul broken by society; someone who has lost faith in people.” Seriously though, we have built up this fairytale of what it means to be an adult. Now that we’re here, it seems like we don’t measure up to the fairytale. It forces our minds into hyper drive. Are we missing something? Are we still too childish? Too selfish? Too innocent? Whatever the case, it feels as though we can never measure up to this perception of ‘adult’. That is, until recently, a friend pointed out most adults are a mess of a human being. We don’t suddenly hit a certain age and have our lives together. We’re forever going to be stumbling, making mistakes and jumping into the abyss and praying for the best. Mistakes are bigger on the adult scale. Break ups become divorces, spending your money all in one place means not being able to pay for rent or bills and lies become tangled webs you can’t climb out of. By trying to fit ourselves into this white picket fence stereotype of a functioning adult, we discredit when we do grow as a human being. Is it unfair? Hell yeah. So, we need to stop building this image in our head of this completely functional human being. That will help to remove the “soulless and constantly 14 /

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are we ever adults? / 15

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how do you let go of hate?

Forgive them—or at least forget Maybe what they did to you was really shitty. Maybe it was unforgivable. But hating them isn’t going to change anything: all it will achieve is making you feel worse. Don’t let them win. Forgive them, because they don’t know better—or if you can’t, forget, and move on. Because really, when you forgive them, you’re really forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to let the hate go. We’re human: we make mistakes Remember that. Maybe things were said and done in the heat of the moment. Maybe they regret it, and maybe they don’t. But it’s important to realise we all make mistakes. Should we hold a small mistake against someone? WORDS / Zoe Simmons @ItBeginsWithZ

I’ll admit, I have a lot of hate and anger inside of me. I can’t help it. When I see people I love being wronged, or when I’m wronged, I can’t help but feel it’s incredibly unfair. But it consumes you, changes you. You become obsessed with it, and you can feel the anger in every fibre of your body. And most importantly: it’s not healthy. How are you supposed to live a satisfying life if all you’re thinking about is anger and hate? You need to process your emotions, validate them, and eventually file them away to move on. But here’s the million dollar question: how? 16 /

Don’t live in the past I know it’s hard. I know you’re probably obsessing over it. I know any slight mention makes your blood boil, and your chest heat with an overwhelming sense of injustice and rage. No matter what you do, you can’t fix the past. And even if you do get some form of revenge, it won’t make you any happier, and it won’t change what happened. Open yourself to the future Use that rage to fuel your passions. If anything, kill them with success. The best revenge, after all, is success. Open your heart. Try new things. Take one step at a time to make your dreams come true.

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Allow yourself to feel If someone has done something terrible to you, you have a right to feel angry—so don’t feel like a bad person for it. But, like with any emotional experience, you need to address it the right way. Don’t bottle it up—talk to loved ones, a therapist, or even write. You need to process your emotions, validate them, and let it go.

Meditate Think about what I’ve written. Process your feelings. When anger strikes, remember you deserve more than a hate-filled heart. The world has enough hate in it—it doesn’t need any more. Let yourself move on—it will free you.

Learn from your experiences Care for yourself Think of it as a learning curb—think about the kind of person you want to be. Think about how you want to be treated—and treat others that way. Every adversity has a lesson to teach us— and we must be stronger than it. Send them love Generally, if people do bad things, there’s a reason: they’re damaged or they too have been wronged somehow. That isn’t fair, and it doesn’t justify their actions, but it does explain them. Maybe getting revenge and making them feel bad will make you feel momentarily superior. But in the long run, it will only make things worse. Life goes on, and hate only breeds more hate. Don’t let it eat you up from the inside.

You are number one. Do things you love. Get a massage, have a bath, get a manicure, do a hair mask, drink a glass of wine, read a book, watch your favourite shows and eat your favourite, nutritious food. Always put yourself first, and surround yourself with positive people who will help and love you. Do the clichés Scream into a pillow. Go to the gym and work up a sweat. Write an angry letter, and tear it up or burn it. Get all your emotions out in a positive way that isn’t hurtful. We don’t need more hurt in the world. Forgive yourself

Replace it with something you love Negative voice in your head? Obsessing over words said to you? Keep repeating the incident over and over? Replace it with something else. Something you enjoy, something you love, something that makes you happy. Let your happy memories set you free.

We aren’t always innocent, and maybe things could have been handled better. But you always—no matter what—need to forgive and love yourself. You are strong. You are a good human. Be the change you want to see in the world, and who knows: maybe if you respond with love instead of hate, you’ll change someone’s world. / 17

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500 Days Of Summer

He’s Just Not That Into You

WORDS / Aisha Sini @aishasini

Rom-coms get a bit of a bad rap and this is just because they’re a little cheesy, a little formulaic. But, that doesn’t mean they don’t have incredible healing powers for our little broken hearts. 20 /

A sad and bitter pill to swallow; it’s just downright hard to accept that you’re not someone’s cup of tea. This movie follows the entangled romantic lives of several couples. Some end up together and it’s perfect, some don’t and its downright heart breaking. Whether you learn it from a movie or through gutwrenching experience (and let’s face it, we’ve all been there), it’s an important life lesson to learn.

Following the stages of a man falling in love with a girl named Summer, this movie is scary accurate about the process of falling in and out of love. You’re going to get a crush, talk your friends’ ears off about how cool your crush is, you’re going to practice speeches and probably get your expectations way up. Love can be all consuming, it can be euphoric, but it can also be incredibly painful and one sided. You might get your heart broken, but in the end that’s ok because it’s a chance for you to grow as a person and let go of everything that’s not making you happy.

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lessons we learnt from chick flicks

Bridget Jones’ Diary

Dear John

You might be an absolute mess. You might say the wrong things, drink too much, put your foot in your mouth, and you may not look like a supermodel. But you know what? Someone’s still going to love you. Even if you never thought you were good enough for smooth, charming Daniel Cleaver or the handsome human rights lawyer Mark Darcy, they might just both come banging down your door, fighting for your affections. No matter how dysfunctional you are or how much you think they’re out of your league, you can still get your happy ever after.

We’ve all faced the struggle; do I do what’s good for me? Or good for my relationship? It’s a tough dilemma, because sometimes the relationship is good for you and that’s what you want to protect the most. In the film, John struggles between choosing to leave and do what he feels he needs to for himself, or to stay and maintain his relationship with his girlfriend. In the end it’s a difficult choice to make but you have to think about what’s best for you. A relationship should be an enhancement to your life, not the thing your life revolves around.

The Break Up When it comes to break ups, it’s a loselose situation. Wallowing in self pity is an excellent option, as is hitting the town on the rebound, and there is a certain satisfaction to giving into that petty side of you that wants revenge. This movie honestly has it all, it could honestly pass as a documentary of the multitude of ways to deal with a break up. In the end though, it’s all about self-preservation. You pretty much just have to grieve what you’ve lost, engage in things that make you feel good about yourself, and try keeping as much dignity as you can along the way. / 21

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film review The Witch: A New-England Folktale

WORDS / Oliver Chaseling

The Witch: A New-England Folktale, 2015, dir. Robert Eggers The Witch is one of those rare films that will haunt you for days. It is beautiful, horrible, seductive and depraved, all at once. The Witch could’ve been a straightforward horror tale, but masterful use of the cinematic craft elevates it into the realm of films like The Shining and The Exorcist. Not only is it a directorial debut; but there are moments in The Witch that are even more terrifying than what was found at The Overlook Hotel. In an area of North America that would later execute women accused of witchcraft, a family is cast out of their Puritan village for apparently being too puritan. They settle their small farm at the edge of the wilderness, and are 22 /

attacked by an evil force that lives in the forest. It isn’t a new story, and in the hands of some different storytellers, it could’ve been a dull story. The Witch is a compelling, powerful story, because it is told on a foundation of character, imagery and mood, and uses those elements to effectively lure the viewer, like the family, into the clutches of the witch. The dialogue was derived from journals and transcripts of the time, and every syllable spoken sounds historically fitting. Through this, the mother, father, and five children are whole and empathetic characters, with all the performers gifting their roles, through gorgeous speech, a flawed, gothic humanity, which carries the tone of film. Anya-Taylor Joy as the eldest daughter Thomasin, and Harvey Scrimshaw as her younger brother Caleb, both give outstanding performances.

Because of this, the horrors the witch inflicts on the family are all the more poignant. This is not a film that saves the villain’s reveal until the end; it establishes early the truly deranged evil of the titular witch, in a shocking scene that cannot easily be forgotten. From then on, every moment of foreshadowing is captivating, out of the visceral fear of what she really wants with the family, if what she does with their new-born child wasn’t enough. The graphic scenes that accompany the plight of the family are deserved, unlike the cheap and nasty scares of most horror films, because the filmmakers have made us from the outset, sympathetic to the family and utterly terrified of the witch. As the family is seduced by evil, so too is the audience by the film’s cinematography; a rich landscape composed of the stark wilderness, and

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the earthy textures of rural poverty. The film-makers have imbued that colonial environment with imagery from traditional satanic practice, most compellingly in the form of a black goat, which must rank as one of the most sinister animals to ever grace the screen. These visual elements are so vividly realised, that certain shots (especially with the goat) sear themselves into the mind of the viewer. Everything about The Witch looks feels and sounds like historical truth, an illusion the filmmakers cast over the viewer like a spell. The experience of watching the film mirrors that of Thomasin’s; unable to resist its terrible beauty. A rumour that accompanied the film’s cinematic release was that it had the seal of approval from official Satanist groups, who had deemed it an “authentic satanic experience.” And it certainly is an experience, made lifelike by the film-

maker’s adherence to the documented symptoms of “possession”. The Witch is magnificently made, where the music, cinematography and dialogue work beautifully in concert to drive at the heart of our deepest desires and fears, and elicit that emotionally visceral response that not just horror, but cinema in general aspires toward. This film should absolutely be seen by anyone with an interest in emerging or independent cinema, but must also carry a warning; in crafting The Witch, the filmmakers may have succumbed to some kind of profane force, which would aim to seduce the viewer, too. Seek it out if you dare. / 23

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a guide for getting into Mar vel comic books

WORDS / Ben Kohler @FakeBenKohler

Most people really enjoy the Marvel films coming out nowadays, but getting into the source material can be daunting. Marvel Comics go way back to 1961 and its predecessors go back to the 1930’s. But not to worry! If you want to get into Marvel comics, I’m going to give you some places to start! Let’s get into some of the most popular stuff first, the Avengers and the members of the Avengers. For the Avengers, The Kree/ Skrull War comics from the early-70’s are what really made the Avengers; it’s probably the number one thing to check out. Two other 70’s classics to check out are Under Siege and The Korvac Saga. A more recent, and darker, place to go is The Ultimates, though you can maybe leave the third part of Ultimates for later. Last one is Ultron Unlimited, this is definitely the best Ultron story though Age of Ultron is great stuff too. There are so many great Captain America comics it’s kind of ridiculous, but I’ll try to give some of the very best. A key one is Man Without a Country from the Dark Age of Comics, the late 1990’s. That was not a great time for comics in general, but this Cap story was a diamond in the rough. The obvious one however is the Winter Soldier storyline, the story ran for over seven years but it starts in 2005 with Captain America Vol. 5 # 8, though pretty much the whole run of Captain America Vol. 5 is awesome as well. The best place to start with Iron Man is Matt Fraction’s work on Invincible Iron Man from 2008-2013 which you can find in 24 /

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collected editions. Aside from that there is also Civil War: The Confession written by Brian Michael Bendis and Iron Man NOW! is another great place to go. Note: the NOW! refers to the Marvel NOW! installation of the comics. For some of the other Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Hulk: Gray written by Jeph Loeb and Hulk: Destruction written by Peter David for the Hulk are great to start with, the Thor Vol. 3 comics written by J. Michael Straczynski, Thor: The Mighty Avenger comics from 2010-2011 and Thor NOW! for Thor and Black Widow NOW! for Black Widow. If you are looking to get into some of the other key Marvel stuff, some great stuff to start with for the X-Men are the very first comics from 1963 onwards, of which you can find collected editions. But the X-Men as we know them started in 1975 with Giant-Size X-Men, that’s when Storm, Nightcrawler and other key characters were introduced. Wolverine appears too but he had one appearance before that. Other comics to read for X-Men include Days of Future Past written by Chris Claremont, The Uncanny X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga also by Claremont, the four volume X-Men: The Complete Age of Apocalypse Epic, Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men run from 2004-2008 and Uncanny X-Men NOW!. If you love X-Men you no doubt also love Wolverine, and maybe the key Wolverine comic to read, as well as one of my favourite comic books ever, is Wolverine: Weapon X by Brian WindsorSmith. It’s an incredible book and it’s an absolute must-read. There is also Chris Claremont’s work from 1982 as well as the Wolverine: Enemy of the State collection written by Mark Millar, Wolverine: Origin from 2001-2002, Wolverine: Old Man Logan also by Millar, Wolverine: Logan from 2008, Wolverine and the X-Men from 2011-2014 and Death of Wolverine from 2014. The most popular Marvel comics in terms of sales is Deadpool. The fan favourite Deadpool comics are written by a guy called Daniel Way from 2008-2012 and you can find large collected editions of all of the stuff written by him. Aside from that there are also collected editions of everything Deadpool appeared in back in the day beginning in 1991 with New Mutants #98. Also the Deadpool NOW! comics written by Brian Posehn and Gerry Duggan from 2012-2014 is great stuff and Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe and Deadpool Kills Deadpool are pretty interesting too! Maybe everyone’s favourite classic Marvel character is SpiderMan. The place to start with for Spider-Man is with the early years, you can find collected editions of the The Amazing

Spider-Man comics beginning in 1963 written by the big guys, Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. The current run, the All New, All Different Marvel run, of The Amazing Spider-Man is also great as well as The Amazing Spider-Man: Big Time Ultimate Collection which is awesome stuff. The Spider-Man and the X-Men story from 2015 is a lot of fun too, he goes to teach some X-Men students because Wolverine had a little job for him and it’s awesome. Like with Spider-Man, the place to start with the classic Marvel superhero team, the Fantastic Four, is with the early years. As the Marvel Universe began with the Fantastic Four back in 1961 reading the original comics are a must and you can find Essential collections of all the early stuff. There is also Mark Waid’s work from the early and mid-2000’s which pretty much reminded people why it was that Fantastic Four was able to play such a key role in making Marvel the force it became. Mark Millar’s work from 2008-2009 is also excellent stuff. If you want to gear up for the first female-lead Marvel film, which we sadly still have to wait another three years for, the best place to start with Captain Marvel is with Captain Marvel NOW! and Ms. Marvel Vol. 2 from 2006-2010. She has had a few different names over the years but she is primarily known as Captain Marvel. If you like your comics a bit darker, the place to begin with The Man Without Fear, Daredevil, is with Frank Miller’s work from the early 80s. It made Daredevil what he is today and the Netflix show draws heavily from Miller’s work. There is also Brian Michael Bendis’s work from 2001-2006 as well as the eight issue End of Days from 2012-2013. The main “Event” comics, comics that are about some major event in the Marvel world that aren’t any one character’s or teams’ stories, to check out are Marvel Super Heroes: Secret Wars from 1984, The Infinity War from 1992, House of M from 2005, Civil War from 2007, Avengers vs. X-Men from 2012 and lastly Secret Wars from 2015. Some good places to start with some other characters not discussed before are Guardians of the Galaxy NOW! for Guardians of the Galaxy, the Black Panther Vol. 4 comics beginning in 2005 for Black Panther and the Alias comics written by Brian Michael Bendis for Jessica Jones. / 25

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my favourite musical experiences and the worst one

WORDS / Amy Fairall

It’s not too difficult to catch a live music gig nearly any night of the week, but it’s not everyday you see a band that completely rocks your socks right off of your feet and makes those few hours of singing and dancing unforgettable. I’ve spent a bit of time watching live music over the last few years, and have been lucky enough to have lived this experience several times over. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros- Enmore Theatre, Newtown, 2014 The night I saw Edward Sharpe perform was pure magic. Seeing a big band with such understanding of each other was simply awesome. The performance was drenched in spontaneity and soul. It was truly an experience that connected 26 /

the band and the entire audience. Only weeks after I’d seen them perform, the only female member, Jade, who provided such a sense of grace and exquisite harmonies, parted ways with the band. Sydney was one of the last places she performed with the band. Which makes that night even more phenomenal. Ball Park Music- Groovin the Moo 2012 and UniBar UOW 2014 The first time I saw Ball Park Music was at my first live music event. I’d really only heard one of their songs before. But their whole set was a ball of fun (get it?). By the time I got to see them a second time, I’d learned to love and sing-a-long to the entirety of their discology. Wollongong was the first to hear their new album, Puddinghead, which was to be released the next day, and their impressive rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody which raised the roof.

Mumford and Sons, Splendour in the Grass 2013 There’s not many things better than being able to kick up your heels in the mud with your best friend. Except if you just happen to be dancing to the soullifting sounds of one of your favourite bands. As soon as the 2013 SITG lineup was announced, I knew I had to be there. The whole weekend was a few of the best days of my life, but this performance was extra special because it was a band I never thought I’d see, especially in such happy circumstances. Courtney Barnett, Metro Theatre, 2015 Oh Court, how I love ya. My housemates and I share a small obsession over this modest guitar-rocking Tassie chick. So when we all got to see her do her

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Splendour in the Grass, 2013

thing together, it was always going to be a spectacular night. And she did not disappoint. A touch of comedy, a dash of emotion and a whole heap of grooving. Sons of the East, Marmalade Skies Festival, 2015 Marmalade Skies Festival has only happened once. It was a tiny two-night festival in a paddock out the back of Goulburn. There were about 250 revelers there the whole weekend, but what a time we had. Sons of the East were one of the most well known bands at this shin-dig. So when they cracked out Hold On at the end of their set, was it any real surprise they had about half the crowd stomping their feet around on stage with them? S Club - UOW Hall, 2012 Holy moly. Even with just three of the

original band members present, (Jo, Bradley and Paul) I can confirm, there ain’t no party like an S Club party. Any chance I get to relive the early 2000s, I welcome with open arms. And this night was no exception. The support act, Big Brovaz almost took over the show, but S Club brought it all back and had us dancing to that funky funky beat. Despite the singers’ obvious aging, they all still partied and performed hard. Dreams do come true. Flight of the Conchords- WIN Entertainment Centre, 2012 I don’t think I’d ever grinned for two hours straight until I saw New Zealand’s 4th most popular folk parody musical duo. This night was just hilarious and utterly entertaining. A perfect blend of music, comedy and New Zealand accents. I’d spend business time with that bearded duo any day of the week.

Annnnd, the worst? Surfer Blood, Splendour in the Grass, 2013 I listened to this band a little bit before arriving at Splendour and as there were no other bands of interest playing at the same time, I was keen to hear them play. But something just wasn’t quite right that day. Whether the sound levels were off, or the band just wasn’t feeling it, the deafening echo of crowds in the food hall was more inviting than the sound they were producing. #sorrynotsorry / 27

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is the live music industry dying?

WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki It’s almost a right of passage to feel the thud of the bass in your chest, your shoes stuck to the alcohol covered floor of the club or your legs covered in mud from the outdoor festival. Live music is the place where you forget who you are and just sway to the sound of the stage. I was lucky. I discovered live music at 13, my last concert in May at the Oxford Arts Factory, torn between non-stop crying and grinning at the sweet voices of Timothy and Clare Bowen. In recent years, the industry has taken a few blows. The lockout laws designed to keep people off the streets to prevent alcohol-fuelled violence has done too good a job, with several key venues closing down due to a drop in patronage. Sure, traditional venues like the Metro Theatre and the Horden Pavillion are still thriving, but what happens when artists decide that it’s just too difficult to play in Sydney because there’s only a limited number of venues to choose from? Or the lockout laws extend into other areas. When people are on a high and want to keep their excitement going, where will they go? Home? It isn’t the same. That being said, live music isn’t all about drugs, drinking and destruction – and people thinking otherwise really does damage what these events are about. Don’t deny it, the question after “what acts are you seeing” is “will you be taking anything?” Earlier this year, the New South Wales Government vowed to crack down on drug use at music festivals, and for good reason. At Sydney’s New Year’s Day festival, Field Day, 184 people were arrested for either possession or supplying of drugs, whilst 212 people received medical attention after they took drugs. 28 /

I’m not one for giving advice (I lie, but whatever) but pro tip? You don’t need drugs and alcohol to enjoy some tunes! It’s shocking, I know, but in the words of 360 and Pez, “you’ll probably get so wasted you won’t remember their set” and what is the point of playing $150+ for a ticket if you’re going to get so trashed all your memories are of the inside of a toilet bowl? Especially when it means that festivals will stop venturing to our part of the world. Although, stricter policing isn’t what is making some of our biggest festivals disappear. Big Day Out folded due to lack of attendance and let’s not even get started on Soundwave. Then, shitty behaviour from music-goers is always a turn off. Yes, I’m talking about those who throw bottles on stage and start punch-ups and use the crowded dance areas to feel unsuspecting people up. Now, why would international artists take the long ass flight to Australia when they get treated like shit? So, they charge big bucks for their presence, and attendees have to fork out even more money to see their favourite artist. Not everyone can afford these prices, so attendance drops and the festival disappears and the cycle repeats. There have been attempts to save the live music scene in Australia. For instance, niche festivals are taking over, and seeing music like that take centre stage is excellent, but I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t love to rock out to some mainstream singer. An organisation called GiggedIn charges $35 a month, but you get exclusive access to gigs in Sydney and Melbourne. It promotes smaller artists and it sounds like a typical indie movie – the race to get there, discovering new music every night of the week. Will the live music scene prevail with these small attempts at saving it? Or is it a losing battle?

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a book for a shy girl WORDS / Jess Muscat

Since You’ve Been Gone, published in early 2014, is exactly what you would expect from a fluffy Morgan Matson novel. Unlike her previous work, Second Chance Summer, which was heavy and emotional, Since You’ve Been Gone is the perfect summertime read. This contemporary novel has been written for a target audience of young adults. With themes of friendship and adventure, it is very easy for the reader to picture what is happening and feel as if they’re apart of the story. This novel chronicles how the main character, Emily, spends the summer completing tasks set by her best friend. Emily has always been one to stay out of the spotlight and is more often than not referred to as “Sloane’s friend!” Overtime, she’s grown very comfortable with that. This novel is the perfect example that opposites do attract- Sloane is very outgoing and brave, while shy Emily prefers to stay in her shell. Many can adore this novel, but Emily’s characterisation holds a special place in any shy girl’s heart. The detail in which her emotions are captured makes it especially easy for young girls to relate. Her passive nature and need to keep to herself leaves many feeling like they’re simply looking in a mirror. While Emily is planning for a perfect, action packed summer, disaster strikes and Sloane goes missing. Gone without a trace, her house is packed up and contact has seized. That is until Emily receives a letter. As brief and confusing as it is to her, Emily has hope that she’ll see her friend again. Left with a to-do list of things Emily never thought she would attempt in her life, she sets off to a have a slightly different summer than planned. Through the discovery of herself and the development of new friendships, Emily does her best to finish the list that will hopefully point her in the direction of her best friend. We’re always told not to judge a book by its cover, but that is exactly what I did with this novel. The image on the front is almost as beautiful as the themes explored throughout the

story. It screams summertime and all those warm fuzzies that time of year brings us. As my first Morgan Matson read, this novel confirmed that, in the future, there will be a spot for all things Matson related on my bookshelf. Growing up as the quiet girl who loved to be as far from the centre of attention as possible, this novel would have been my go-to. As a fast paced story, it was very easy to be drawn into Emily’s story and feel like you were apart of her daily adventures with her newly found attitude and accepting friends. Unlike most contemporary books, the main focus of this one wasn’t about young love. It was about the young persona finding her identity by stepping outside of her comfort zone. It was a nice reminder for me that life doesn’t always have to be so serious and that it’s completely normal for your life to feel upside down when you’re thrown a curveball, no matter how big or small. / 29

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WORDS / Sarah Mieth

First things first, (Iggy where you at?) music is quite literally the epitome of self-evolution. Intertwined with our memory and emotion, our personalised tastes in music make up our own original soundtrack. If you have a little stroll down memory lane, or perhaps more appropriately your iTunes’ ‘Most Played’ playlist, you will find yourself submersed in various time periods, songs reminding you of moments in your life. Now obviously when you are listening to the sacred words of Iggy Azalea’s rapprodigy Fancy, you might not particularly be feeling particularly high on emotion, but it reminds you of downing your second tequila shot and getting ready to tear up the dance floor with your squad. But in all seriousness, try and think about your most over-played, over-loved song that makes you feel those feels. Because ultimately it’s these treasured tunes that will resonate with you even when you are past your Iggy Azalea rapping days. A documentary by the ABC, which is the inspiration for this article, downright 30 /

proves and explains through research music has the potential to speak to you on a multitude of levels that even surpass mere melodic satisfaction. Entitled Music on the Brain we witness Dr. Jonica Newby investigate how the program of ‘Music & Memory’ is able to rejuvenate individuals affected by conditions such as Parkinson’s and dementia by “connecting them with identity again” as Newby narrates. Dementia, as defined on the Alzheimer’s Australia website (fightdementia.org. au), is a mental disorder that affects “thinking, behaviour and the abilitiy to perform everyday tasks.” So given these obvious dire impediments, sufferers often retreat into themselves and further loosen the threads that connect them to their genuine self. This is where the ‘Music & Memory’ program steps in and is able to somewhat alter these repercussions of conditions like dementia. By giving people personalised music playlists on iPods and similar devices, they are given a means of rediscovering their much loved, favourite tunes of the past, and thus, the ability to relive some

memories. Written on their website homepage (musicandmemory.org), they state these individual preferences in music have the ability to “tap into deep memories not lost to dementia” which can astonishingly provoke participants to “converse, socialize and stay present.” Erin Sharp, the general manager at Redleaf Manor aged care, commented on the effect of the program on a participant named Betty, who had developed advanced dementia. “I was stunned at the conversation that she had post the music. So it was actually a coherent conversation. It wasn’t muddled and that’s…I didn’t expect that to happen,” Sharp said. So here we can see that music hits ‘pause’ on a participant’s suffering to momentarily awaken the cognitive and emotional senses to allow an individual to engage with the community around them. Now I’ll give you a seriously impressive, gobsmacking example of the effects of music in physical terms. John Sewell, who was diagnosed with the degenerative disease of Parkinson’s, suffers from severe shuffling and imbalanced mobility. As a result, he states he often

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the remedy of a melody

has to be careful to “not do a face plant,” as the lack of dopamine in the brain creates restrained movement. However during a research experiment in the Human Movement Lab in Melbourne where music was played specifically for John, he was completely transformed into a fully mobile, non-shuffling sensation. Professor Meg Morris who runs this therapy surmised that music has provided an “external rhythm” to counterbalance the “defective rhythm” that is happening inside the brain. So ultimately, music has the means to infiltrate our motor system to restore the marvel of movement in people like John. Yes, embrace your inner-Kanye, go country like Carrie and stay sophisticated like Hans Zimmer. The music you listen to whether it be when you’re pumping weights at the gym or cruising on the highway, will ultimately encapsulate a contrasting clutter of emotions that can help prevail degenerative brain diseases through an association of music with memory and identity. Not only that, but the overlooked prospects of music such as its ability to awaken our motor responses shows us that music in itself, has a definite therapeutic effect.

So continue to feel those feels, abuse the crap out of your ‘Most Played’ playlist and master the words of Iggy Azalea. For at the end of the day, your music is an evolution of you. / 31

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why you should give foreign entertainment a go WORDS / Sarah Leong

It’s sometimes hard to change from what we are used to. Hollywood is all things glam, classic and iconic. It will always be dynamic and present. As things progress, the industry has changed and modernized, but we’re also seeing a growing movement of British produced entertainment. The films, shows and music that are steadily gaining popularity are beginning to stem with mass from the English colony. While it’s still western, it’s a different culture and society that influence and give brand to the British entertainment industry. While America and the United Kingdom have made themselves prominent and principle when it comes to entertainment, it’s also a reminder that other nations have their own ‘Hollywood’ too. To watch movies or listen to music in another language often takes more effort to keep us interested. There’s an obvious language barrier that may also prove to be a cultural one when certain context and references get lost between societal translations. If we’re honest, not everything translates perfectly either, with no direct translation for certain expressions. I’m not telling you to go learn another language, but then I’m also not saying you shouldn’t. French-Swiss cinematic master, Jean-Luc Godard, once said “don’t translate, learn languages” in refusal to compromise to globalisation. Just as those who have travelled say how insightful it makes you, learning a new language develops and grows you to be just as open-minded and unlock many new parts of life. Watching films and listening to music is literally how many non-native English speakers learn the language or how to improve their accents too. So if you’re ever looking for a prompt or motivation to get started with learning a new language, this is it. The newfound popularity the K-Pop industry has suddenly gained, is a prime example of how things can become for other international enterprises. There are now international fans that have learnt to understand the lyrics and then progress onto films and literature. Even the Bollywood industry has been eminently present for quite a long time now. 32 /

In western films, we have founded some attributed styles that have become our international trademark of clichés, formulas and stereotypes. International films have their own version of this as well, but are influenced by their own societies and cultures. The context, humour, emotions, understanding, history and stories then become varied and different. The insight and perspective into all of this when watching an international film is awe-inspiring. I often find international films to be a lot more daring and imaginative, so if you’re looking for something refreshing, you will find many new cinematic worlds. There are also many western films that are actually remakes of foreign films. Watching the original can present you clever innovations you may have never seen. Admittedly, going straight into reading something in a different language is impossible without learning it first. Though once you do learn and reach a level of understanding, even the written stories, or plays have their own genres, approach and stamp of values and themes and historical literature movements behind them. Victor Hugo, author of Les Misérables, is so esteemed throughout the world, just as Ernest Hemmingway is internationally. Storytelling may seem like a simple concept, but it’s been around since the Stone Age and is such an understated value in life. We tell stories daily; whether about how our day went or the experiences we’ve lived as memories. Storytelling isn’t solely based on reality either; we do it through all forms or art, whether it is a painting, film, in words, through lyrics or even just a melody. The whole world is full of endless stories, made to be full of life through different international influences and interpretation. Why paint a canvas blank, if you have so many colours you can fuse? So why constrict yourself to entertainment of one culture when there are so many others?

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Why Mindy Kaling is my ultimate girl crush (and should be yours too)

WORDS / Aisha Sini

She has her own badass show that doesn’t sugarcoat what it means to be a modern woman in this day and age. Is she obsessed with rom-coms? You bet. Does she drink too much? Oh hell yeah. Is she a hopeless romantic with a deeply jaded outlook on love? Yes, yes yes! Mindy Kaling’s show The Mindy Project follows the life of a gynecologist just trying to have it all in New York City. Like us, she grew up on Sex and the City, When Harry Met Sally and Bridget Jones Diary, so you’d think we all would’ve had enough guidance by now, right? WRONG. Through all the hangovers, bad dates and questionable outfit choices, Mindy shows us there’s no wrong way to get through life. And even when you could not be more wrong, everything’s going to work itself out. Just take a shot, freshen up that lippy and move on. Mindy is the girl we aspire to be and the best friend we all need. In defending her life choices and values on TV, she gives all female viewers the confidence we wish we had to stand up for ourselves. By refusing to quit believing in true love, defending her style to the very end and slamming on body shamers, Mindy shows us that it’s ok to be “bossy”, “mouthy” and everything else us girls get called to shut us up. Self-esteem goals, amirite? She says what we’re all thinking. She has her own badass show that doesn’t sugarcoat what it means to be a modern woman in this day and age. When it comes down to it, Mindy’s #relatable sense of humour, rom-com references and flawless confidence is exactly the vibe you need to have you feeling invincible. / 33

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WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki

Streaming services are god’s gift to humankind – and no, as someone who watches hours of television to distract themselves from everything they have to do, I am not exaggerating. From getting to experience new shows, to reliving the ones you absolutely adored (I’m looking at you, Gossip Girl), streaming services have this ability to create fantastic television due to the fact ratings aren’t an issue. I’ve spent the majority of my Netflix ownership watching shows I was way too young to watch the first time around – either because I wasn’t interested at the time or it had themes that were deemed too inappropriate for my younger self. So, here are my Top 3 Netflix shows that I missed as a child and thank the lord I’ve now found: 34 /

Friday Night Lights Ask anyone, I went on about Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler), the East Dillion Panthers and the East Dillion Lions for weeks after watching this show. I actually have to thank my mother for getting me into this show. Friday Night Lights follows Coach Taylor and his family as they try to deal with the pressures of being a high school football coach in Texas – as well as a team poised to win the state championship. Disaster strikes – a player ends up so injured he’ll never play again, a rookie will take his place, racism runs rampant and the boosters are constantly on Coach’s back – but the relationships are just too real and honest to not love this show. I don’t even like sport all that much.

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top 3 shows you may have missed on Netflix

Heroes

Prison Break Am I way too late to the party with this one? After watching a friend constantly snapchat herself binge watching Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) try to break his brother Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell) out of prison, I had to cave and see what the fuss is about. And, oh my goodness, I am so glad I did! Is it wrong to be cheering for convicted felons to achieve? Probably. Each episode is one wild party to the next, the plan to escape always changing with each new obstacle. The undying love Scofield has for his brother, Sara Tancredi, the prison’s female doctor, (played by Sarah Wayne Callies), and his nephew is absolutely heart warming. I’m on the last season, so no spoilers, folks! Season 5 is looking to be a good one!

So many of my favourite shows reference Heroes and how it went downhill after ‘Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.’ I needed to see what everyone was going on about – and with two of my faves, Hayden Panetierre and Milo Ventimiglia, starring in it – how could I resist? The show follows a variety of people who figure out they have superpowers thanks to gene mutation, like being able to jump off a 30 meter building and not die. Their stories intertwine as the series goes on. Think Valentine’s Day and He’s Just Not That into You style. It was exciting seeing all the connections between the Gifted and the Non-Gifted. Okay, the show sometimes didn’t make sense, and yeah, ‘the company’ was never quite explained as far as I watched, and I did give up because I went away for a week. However, I would be keen to get back into it Also, a cheerleader saving the world? Pretty neat. Heroes has also received a reboot in the form of Heroes Reborn. / 35

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WORDS / Ben Kohler @FakeBenKohler

DC has been having some real problems lately. While they have been making some fantastic animated films and some good TV shows, they have been making poor live-action films. Perhaps the key issue with DC today is almost everything they have been doing has been dictated by what Marvel has been doing. If DC has done something or not done something it will most likely be because of Marvel and whether they have plans for something similar. For instance, Batman V Superman, which could have been a really cool film, but clearly the drive was to catch up to what Marvel has been doing with the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). Instead of taking time to build the DC Extended Universe (DCEU), DC’s equivalent of the MCU, they rushed into setting up their big superhero team, the Justice League. Instead of giving Superman the sequel he deserved, giving Batman his own movie and Wonder Woman her own movie first, the pressure was on to one-up the Avengers films. More than a few news articles were generated on the internet by comments from Zack Snyder, director of Batman v Superman, aimed at the MCU. Snyder called Ant-Man a “flavour of the month” and said that while he agrees with Steven Spielberg that superhero films will “go the way of the Western”, 36 /

Batman and Superman transcend the superhero genre because there is something special about them. He added about the MCU “What is the next? Blank-Man?” So basically Snyder is saying there that Marvel is going to go down-hill because superhero movies are of the now but somehow the Dark Knight and the Son of Krypton are forever. So here is my two cents for DC, aside from looking at Marvel and learning from what they have done, forget about them. Marvel is what it is just like DC and they can learn from each other, but they are also quite different worlds that will only suffer if they allow their actions to be dictated by those of the other. Thankfully though, DC is trying to figure out a way to rectify some of the issues they have been having. Recently DC Entertainment had a shake-up of its executives with Executive Vice-President Jon Berg and DC’s Chief Content Officer Geoff Johns, who had formerly been overseeing DC’s television programming, now taking the lead with the DCEU. The appointment of Geoff Johns is welcome news. DC’s TV shows have mostly been good and this is thanks in part to the role played by Johns. No one would argue that The Flash is not a good show, but the quality of the rest of DC’s shows could be debatable. Gotham hasn’t pleased fans a great deal but it still

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DC Movies: some of my thoughts on what’s going on and what they should do

has some ardent defenders while Arrow, Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow have overall been quite well done. I would argue that few DC fans have not enjoyed them. To venture into the world of animation for a moment, DC has made some great animated stuff over the years and they certainly beat Marvel on this point. Batman: the Animated Series is superb as is the 1993 film Mask of the Phantasm. The early 2000’s Justice League animated series was also excellent and in more recent years there have been the films Wonder Woman (2009), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) and many other good films. They could perhaps learn some lessons from themselves here. DC should forget about trying to draw in a mass audience and just do what is right by the characters and the films. A major part of what drove DC to do what they did with Batman v Superman was quite simply, money. The logic here was that the Avengers films have done extremely well so obviously people like it when all the heroes team up, so let’s just skip right to that part! Marvel figured out what will bring the money in is if you just make a damn good movie, DC needs to learn this too. Just because everyone liked the Dark Knight trilogy that does

not mean a dark tone will be good for a Superman movie. Superman needs to be brighter and inspiring, Batman needs to be darker and more menacing and sort of brooding. That is who those characters are, and that is what they need. This is the point DC is currently at; will they continue to do what they have done and make whatever they think will make a tonne of money? Or will they take a moment to think about what they have done and what they are doing and learn and listen to some of the criticisms made thus far and just try to make some good movies? I want them to do the latter and it seems as though they might be. Recently some of Batman v Superman’s greatest critics were given a tour of the set for the upcoming Justice League film. It is very telling that DC did not do this for their fans but for their critics, maybe they are listening. Before the 2014 film no one aside from the comic book fans had even heard of the Guardians of the Galaxy but now everyone loves them. Can DC do the same for characters like Shazam? I think they can, they just need to get it together and learn from their mistakes. / 37

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a rescue in the Rye

WORDS / Jake Cupitt @jakecupitt

Holden Caulfield is a bit of an asshole. And not many people disagree. But he’s also misunderstood and sensitive, you know that he knows things about life, but he doesn’t know he knows them. Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger spoke to me as a young man like no other piece of writing I’ve read since. The first time I rolled my eyes over, “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.” If you really want to know the truth... read the rest of this book and learn something about yourself. Before I get into it, yes, Holden is a middle class white male, and so, 38 /

obviously he does not represent every person, his perspective on the world doesn’t take into account the myriad of experiences felt by many people. But his experiences are unique, and on a broader scale, I would make an argument to say that he can be seen to represent “lost men”.

to venture into the unknown, but realistically, hasn’t got an idea what he’s doing. This is a recurring theme. ‘Old Mrs. Morrow didn’t say anything, but boy, you should have seen her. I had her glued to her seat. You take somebody’s mother, all they want to hear about is what a hotshot their son is.’

And as a young 20-year-old man, just back from Europe, after high school but before uni, and in between jobs, it’s fair to say I was a lost man.

Move forward a few chapters and Holden is in the middle of the most adult situation a young boy can find himself in.

So therefore, Holden Caulfield spoke to me on a personal level. Starting out at the tail end of his last stint at an all-boys private high school, Holden really begins his journey on the train to New York City. Stepping on the carriage and finding his seat, he quickly starts up a conversation with an older woman who happens to be the mother of a classmate he hates named Ernest Morrow. Smart and sly, flirtatious and bumbling, Holden exemplifies to the reader he is willing

Holden convinces himself he wants to call a prostitute up to his hotel room after meeting a man with ‘connections’ on the elevator up to the floor of his $8-a-night rat’s nest. After realizing he is in way over his head, the conversation goes south and the lady of the night is patiently waiting for her money. She sharply reminds Holden if he doesn’t pay, regardless of the fact if the deed went down or not, her pimp will be up shortly to collect what he’s owed, either in blood or money. Holden thinks his gift of the gab will

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get him out of this quandary, but he is quickly informed, that his mouth can’t evade him from all situations in life. The pimp comes into the room, throws a few fists into Holden’s stomach and he leaves with his girl, while Holden is rolling on the floor in pain. Holden picks himself up, having learnt from the nights’ events, and leaves his hotel the next morning to meet up with his younger sister, his favourite person in the world. Sneaking into his family home in New York, while his parents think he’s at school, Holden stumbles into his sisters’ room in the middle of the night in the hope of connecting to someone he knows who understands him. Finally the reader understands where the title of the book comes from. Holden wakes his sister Pheobe from her sleep and they talk about dreams they’ve been having recently. “Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field

of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around—nobody big, I mean—except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running, and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy.” What does it mean to be a catcher in the rye? My favourite source of knowledge says, “He pictures himself as the sole guardian of thousands of children playing an unspecified “game” in a huge rye field on the edge of a cliff. His job is to catch the children if, in their abandon, they come close to falling off the brink; to be, in effect, the “catcher in the rye”. Because of this misinterpretation, Holden believes that to be the “catcher in the rye” means to save children from losing their innocence.” – Wikipedia

Ok, that’s the catcher. That’s Holden. But what do I think? I would recommend Catcher in the Rye to any young man who is confused about who they are or what they’re meant to do in life. I was lost, I had no idea where I fit into society, or the purpose I served. And to some extent, Holden helped me worked through some things I needed help with. I’ve read the Catcher in the Rye five times and will read many more times in my life. As a lost and curious young man, I recommend anyone who questions the system or themselves or the purpose of life, read the catcher. / 39

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people to watch in the industry

WORDS / Sarah Leong

Music - Josef Salvat He’s Australian, he’s unique and he also speaks and sings in French. Josef Salvat has long been one of my favourite artists that everyone needs to know about. The Sydney born singer-songwriter used to study law at the University of Sydney before swapping it all for the soaring career he’s currently building himself. Unexpectedly appearing from out of nowhere in 2013, Josef signed onto Columbia Records in 2014. He first launched himself into the industry with his debut EP In Your Prime (2014), unveiled through a deal with Liberation Music and consists of four tracks. It includes a cover of Diamonds written by fellow Australian artist Sia, whom Salvat cites as an influence and inspiration. Sony picked up the cover for one of its adverts and listening to the track, it’s compacted with more emotion than the original, sung by Rihanna. The Australian artist is making more of an 40 /

impact around Europe and is steadily collecting stardom and adoring fans. Set to travel around France, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium and Portugal later this year, Josef is now London-based. The success and popularity of his presence overseas is so much stronger that Salvat released his debut studio album, Night Swim, in France and the UK in October 2015. The album was only released worldwide in February 2016. Apart from Diamonds, Josef has single-handily written every song on his EP and studio album. The lyrics are thoughtful and candid and Salvat possesses a strong storytelling capability that renders his whole album a masterpiece. Salvat has also appeared in many significant music festivals such as the Lowlands and the Lovebox Festival, as well as lending his voice to electric musicians such as Tourist and Gryffin. He’s voice is dynamic and smooth, all the while containing low-key textures that seem to transition effortlessly into slightly higher keys. He is everything original, new, exciting and amazing. To the rest of the world he remains partially unexplored but when

they do discover him, he’ll be more then a rising star. Listening to Salvat’s music pulls me through different stories. Though they don’t all link into one, each piece is a tale of its own. Many times I feel as if they could be cinematic pieces. With the reprise ‘shushing’ in the background throughout his song Secrets, I certainly feel as if there’s a sort of mystery and as if I should be hiding something. Punch Line delivers the sorrow through Salvat’s voice and I can’t help put feel angry for him at whomever he’s singing to, even though he doesn’t voice any anger. The influence of his emotions really takes over and illustrates how powerful his abilities of engaging emotions really are. Nearly every other song out there and their lyrics revolve around romantic relationships (whether negatively or positively) and it’s hard to find something new that sounds like it hasn’t been done before, but Salvat achieves and succeeds in delivering songs that display a more matured, real, authentic and uniquely genuine romances. It could just be how

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skillful he is at songwriting and works wonders with each line and the carefully chosen words he uses. It could also be the openness, clarity, sincere and direct way he sings. Whatever it is, surrounded by his music, I feel vulnerable because of how easy he grabs at my emotions and then from song to song I can also feel empowered to exposed to at ease and to with wonder. Honestly his album is a definition of an emotional rollercoaster that somehow makes sense and just works. It’s the unfeigned masterpiece of it all that lets you enjoy music for what it really is - a way of storytelling through the flawless aesthetic of beautifully sounded melodies, beats, instrumentals and most importantly - the voice. Personal Favourites: Open Season, Paradise, Hustler, Shoot and Run, Secrets, The Days…basically everything.

Film - The Riot Club If you don’t mind watching a movie with a bunch of well-dressed and handsome

English accented actors, then this film could be for you. Even if you don’t, the notion of this film is intriguing enough to be explored. The Riot Club was released in 2014, based off of the British theatrical, Posh, by Laura Wade. Its main cast include actors Sam Claflin, Max Irons and Douglas Booth. Without giving any spoilers away, the synopsis of the film entertains the concepts of upper class society, privileges and being caught up in the turmoil of it all. Though the story is said to be fictitious, it seems to be loosely based off of the real life Bullingdon Club – an exclusively selective and male student based club in Oxford, UK. Compared to the play, which gained favourable reviews, the film captured less praises. Though it is entertaining and unveils a thematic dark side, its sole focus on illustrating the height of that leads it to stray away from going into other themes and issues, leaving it quite one-dimensional. I recommend it because I personally like films that give insight to different parts of societies and cultures and which unveil characters that exist but that you don’t encounter

in society, unless you are a part of their communities. It’s also a film that leads you to probe the ideas of such ways of life. It doesn’t challenge you, but it can leave you wondering. It draws out certain emotions and sympathy, which you don’t often encounter in standard drama films. As much as you shouldn’t be pitying these characters I found myself sympathizing them. These characters are really made to portray the image of something with a bad attitude that starts off as slightly harmless but then completely derails into something rude, vulgar and astonishingly vile. They are the definition of corrupt and wicked. Yet I felt bad that these characters grew up to be these ways, even though no childhood backstroke is really provided. If you really get to it, you can go imagining what their whole backstory could be or when the film finishes, what their lives will turn out to be like. In that sense, the film has achieved something if it has gotten me more focused on and feeling for the antagonists, whom are the protagonist of the whole film, something you don’t normally get. / 41

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Literature - Mathew Reilly If you haven’t already heard of Mathew Reilly and are looking for a new read, I highly recommend any of his novels. You could simply go to any bookstore, close your eyes and randomly pick any one of his works. This Australian author has long ago made his mark as an international bestseller. A writer of action thrillers, Reilly has written six stand-alone novels and two continuing series and is yet to write more. If you are like me and believe that books are always better then the film adaptations then you really are in for a treat. Reilly’s books are full of detail and clearly illustrate that he has done his share of in depth research. Though all his stories are fictitious, they always give you the sense that they could almost be real when your imagination goes off, prompted by Reilly’s creativity. He is known for how action packed and fast paced his stories are, as well as intense and plot twisting. These are the kind of 42 /

books you will be campaigning for to be turned into films. It’s now very hard to believe that like J.K Rowling, this author was first rejected with his debut novel, Contest, which he wrote at the age of nineteen and went on to self-publish. He has since gained a strong following of readers that anticipate for new pieces of work to be published and continues to gather many others. He is deservingly a New York Times bestseller and has sold over 7 million copies of his books, which have been translated into over 20 different languages. When reading, do you ever pretend to be in the positions of the characters yourself? The first Mathew Reilly book I picked up was a second-hand rare self-published book of Contest in the back of a classroom storage room. It laid amongst other forgotten and rusty novels, but after reading Contest’s blurb I’d decided it was the one I was going to take home…well technically I think I stole

it? If I did, it was the best steal and I have no regrets. Blurbs can be tricky (just like movie trailers), they can be too revealing or too mysterious or just boring, clichéd and bland. Reilly’s are straightforward and simple and show you that there aren’t many inventive stories out there like his. Many of his fans say that Temple is his best piece of work and I couldn’t disagree, that would be a wonderful place to start if you are looking to grow a collection. He is also well known for his Shane Schofield series, which currently consist of five novels. Ice Station, which starts the series, would be another great start. Rather then me telling you what he’s all about and giving you a few synopsises, I urge you to go pick up any of his novels and from the very first page, you’ll be kept turning till you reach the end and go buy another one of his works. From the moment I opened Contest and started reading it I felt as if I was moving with the instant non-stop action of the plot. It’s not that these stories

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are relatable, it’s that they are so full of energy it transitions you to another world when really I was just lounging on a chair, oblivious to what was going on around me. Never before have I been so obsessed with an author and everything they write. I literally marvel at each sentence I read as I keep on jumping from the first to the last, because they all tie up to make twists and turns that become overwhelmingly impressive. There is no way to really describe how incredible it is to read through one of Reilly’s book with just a bunch of adjectives detailing how action packed and fast paced all his stories are. So maybe let me put it this way; when I read any one of them I feel as if I was suddenly put on an already moving rollercoaster that keeps changing directions and looping around, then when you finally get to breath you’re left astonished, wondering how that all went by so quickly and trying to rewind so you can experience it all again and so you just want another ride and it never gets boring. It gets even better. / 43

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breaking barriers: an interview with Wo l l o n g o n g ’ s n e w e s t queer femmo band The Nah WORDS / Jamie Reynolds

We know that The Nah is a new self-described “four piece queer femmo band” in the Wollongong music scene, what we don’t yet know is much about the members. What more can you tell us about yourselves as individuals? C: I’m Chelsey, I’m a 26 year old queer trans woman. I run Queer & Now, an arts and social night for the LGBTQIAP+ community in the ‘Gong with Jess, I’m co-convener of Allsorts at UOW and I co-host a comedy

Tell us about the origin of ‘The Nah’, what influenced your decision

infotainment podcast on trans issues called Transgeneral. I’m a Law

to come together under that name and in general?

student (lord help me), currently deferred, and I work at EB Games because I am a massive gamer and geek (1v1 me). I play the drums and

S: I met Bel through a mutual friend and found out they played bass. The

have a long-standing love of disco, post-punk, britpop and house music,

15 year old emo inside me was always in love with the idea of being in a

but mostly disco. I drink a lot of coffee and spend too much time making

band, so we jammed a few times at my place before Bel went overseas.

jokes on facebook.

Then, a few months later, after having known Chels for a while we were very drunk at her house at a Halloween party and decided to recruit

S: I’m Shalisa, I’m a 24 year old queer woman. I work as a disability

Jess and form a band of sorts. I was so inspired by Moons of Venus and

support worker with adults, and I study part time at uni (still figuring out

how quickly and passionately they formed as this powerful, queer, and

what I want to do though). I am an executive member of the University

passionate band that I thought, why not! All our friends are so loving

Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Support Society (DV&SASS).

inclusive and supportive so we all got together and did the thing!

To quote Lisa Simpson, my interests include “music, science, shapes, animals, justice, and feelings”. I pretend to play the keyboard and dance

C: We agonised over the name for weeks, we wanted something pithy

music is my weakness.

and tongue in cheek. We don’t take ourselves too seriously and are all pretty proud of our Australianisms. I feel irreverence is something boys

B: I’m Bel! I’ve spent the last couple of years either writing for small

can do and we should be able to too.

magazines (including this one!) or booking acts for a local venue, but I’ve always wanted to play in a band. I love dancing while playing my bass in my bedroom. I’m also into writing really bad dystopian science-

What do you predict your biggest challenges as a band will be, and

fiction (so like, imagine a mashup of The Road and The Little Mermaid).

how do you plan to overcome them?

J: I’m Jess, I’m 28 and I play guitar and sing in The Nah. I run Queer & Now

B: Overcoming the banter nerves will probably be mine.

with Chels and am also in another band, FRUIT. I love plants (some faves are begonias, echeverias & euphorbias), consuming comedy (current

J: Yeah, live performance is always a mystery and challenge for me. I

comedy faves: Lauren Lapkus, Paul F Tompkins, John Hodgman) and

think there is heaps of energy and fun between us as friends and as a

hanging with animals (faves include poodle mixes, rats & birds that stare

band that with each jam and gig we will become more confident and

at you).

comfortable with performing and being vulnerable with the audience.

44 /

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There aren’t many music venues in the Wollongong that accommodate safer spaces policies, which is important for the LGBTQIA+ community. What have your experiences been so far with the spaces you work with? B: We’ve been lucky so far, in that our first two gigs were at venues that have safer spaces policies and were freakin’ amazing shows. The first was at Queer and Now Festival at The Smelter, which Warren Wheeler has been booking, and the second was at Jane’s with our pals Moons of Venus and Queer Anne’s Revenge. Jane’s is a pretty special place for me, it’s where I first learnt how to organise shows. We got the opportunity to build a great LGBTQIA+ scene with organisers like Queer & Now, Sad Grrrls Club and Warren Wheeler. While some venues can be pretty shitty at times, there is this really cool up-and-coming radically loving culture in Wollongong that can fill any space with a great vibe. I’m hoping that that, plus more representation of queer and woman artist’s influences and challenges the hyper-masculinity and casual oppression that can occur at shows. C: I had a pretty atrocious experience being shouted at by a security guard at UniBar one night when we went to see Little May and Bec Sandridge. The guard who thought I was a man and went into the ‘wrong’ bathroom. It was pretty traumatising for everyone involved, he was yelling into the bathroom, I wonder how that is supposed to make anyone feel safer. It’s these kind of incidents that we are working so hard to end and promote inclusive spaces for everyone.

J: Everything in life that is meaningful is made more meaningful with other people. Play shows with friends or put on a gig at your house, share your music with people via soundcloud, play music with other people. Play where you feel most comfortable first and find your people. There are heaps of kind, supportive musicians out there and you’ll encounter a jerkus here or there but you just gotta glide right past them to meet all the golden ones. B: I think I stressed out about fitting into a pre-existing idea of what means to be a femme musician. You can just do what you want and you don’t always have to be likeable. It’s nerve-wracking and we always get pretty bad anxiety burps before we play haha, but it’s a great way of being heard. Thank you so much! If you’re looking to have an exciting time, pump out some dance moves or just join in on some good old fashion banter, visit these spaces and come along and support The Nah!

Do you have a message for young musicians like yourselves who might struggle with putting themselves out there in fear of scrutiny? S: It really helps to be surrounded by an awesome friendly and caring community of people. We’ve been so lucky to have had the support of our friends as well as people outside the queer community. Being in this band with three talented courageous friends has been one of the best things in my life ever. I never thought it could happen to me, but if you’re determined and have people supporting and loving you, it’s totally possible.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheNahBand/ The Nah’s upcoming gigs: August 20th - Transgender Weekender @ Newtown Community Centre (presented by Sad Grrrls Club and Queer & Now) September 17th - Supporting Latham’s Grip and Moons of Venus @ Rad Bar Interview Key: B = Belinda J = Jess C = Chelsey S = Shalisa

/ 45

the nah

From left: Shalisa, Jess, Bel and Chelsey.

f e a t u r e a r t i s t

Walking past my friend Roger’s house one day, I saw his stepdad out the front, talking to the Jehovah’s Witness. He pointed to each of the houses along the street and said, ‘that is a temple, and so is that, and so is that.’ A house is like a safety zone for our fragile self. It nurtures a profound and cathartic sense of order, in a disordered world. But like the temples we used to turn to, our houses have become instruments of privilege. We see the person without a house as ‘other’, and if they were not born to an ordered life then they would seek to usurp our own. Our investment protects us, and we must protect our investment. If you see anything suspicious, alert the authorities.

oliver chaseling photographer

Yo u s a v e m o n e y a n d g e t m a r r i e d ; y o u p a y a deposit on a house and furnish it; you hope your children will lead a happier life than you have led; you plan your retirement so that you will enjoy it; and when you die you leave your house to your children so that it can be sold and the money used to pay of f the mor tgages on their own houses. ~ Horne, The Lucky Country ~

creative

wr iting~

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part two

WORDS / Anonymous I won’t follow him. I won’t It’s been eight months since I last sat down with the good doctor. It’s been 17 months since Delilah Thwaites found out about her husband’s affair. She found out in the spring. No one should ever find out bad news in spring. It should happen in the winter, when everything dies around us. Coming home was hard, but my family needed my help. Asking the ex-wife of the man I was having an affair with if I could have my old job back was terrifying.

I do, of course. Seeing William Thwaites in my childhood bedroom tears at my heart something fierce. I used to think about this very day, the day I would return home and get the big confrontation scene. The one where I could tell him to go fuck himself and brag about how much better I’m doing. This was ahead of the scheduled timeline though. I wasn’t ready to confront him yet. I wasn’t ready to yell at him for giving me the opportunity to ruin my life, to scream at myself for taking that opportunity with both hands and running for it like it was the last train home on a Saturday night.

I’d run away for far too long, though. I needed to stand up and do what was right *** I snort when I hear the doorbell ring, “What did Mum forget this time, G?” The door swings open but it isn’t Grace, or Mum. It’s Will. I try and shut the door in his face but he catches it and pushes passed me. “You’re hurting my feelings here, baby. You’re acting like you don’t want to see me.” “That’s because I don’t.” Will walks up the stairs to my room and throws a smirk over my shoulder, “You never were a good liar outside of the newsroom.” 60 /

and falling back onto my desk chair. Will grins, “You’re already being so good to me.”

Will’s sitting on my bed, the bed where we first slept together in. When this all started, I had just finished university and worked at Frontier for six months. I was still living at home because I couldn’t afford to move out without a room mate and most of my friends were moving in with their girlfriends or boyfriends or taking a year off to travel between uni and life. That day, the first time, I remember grinning into my pillow the whole time after he’d left. Now all I wanted was for him to disappear – like he did after Delilah found out. After he overdosed and ended up in the hospital. “You can’t be here.” He chuckles, “Course I can be here. Besides, I wanted to see you. I missed you.” He stood and crossed the room, running his long fingers across my jaw before placing a chaste kiss upon it. I throw myself backwards, tripping over

“No, you can’t be here,” I say, standing up. “For the last 17 months, just the thought of you anywhere near me made me tremble and two minutes ago you were sitting on my bed where I cried and tossed and turned when you told me I fucked everything up. You don’t get to just swagger back in here and pretend nothings happened.” He sighs, “Please, Si, you’re boring me with your morality. Let’s just get to the part where we fuck.” I shake my head, “No, you have to leave. Please, just leave. I need you to leave. To exit the premises.” Will groans, “I thought the problem with us was that I was married. I am no longer attached. We’ll still have to keep things quiet though, for the sake of the kids.” I started to study him as he continued his rant about his family – about Delilah. He talks about how she ruined his life and how much happier he was without her. Of course, Will was the one doing the break up dance - the one where you try and show off to the other person. Typical. He was gesturing wildly, his arms almost knocking down my TARDIS figurine at least three times. Erratic behaviour. I sigh. I check his collar and sure enough there’s his tell. He never could get all the coke off of his collar. Son of a bitch never learns his lesson. “Are you high?” He cackles, “Am I high? You

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know sometimes I like to snort before we have our fun. It makes -“ “Everything feel surreal, I know. And you need to start speaking in past tense, because we aren’t having any fun.” Surreal. Unreal. Detached - because he couldn’t love me without being high. “I’m not married anymore, Simon.” “It wasn’t that you were married - well it was, but it wasn’t. We hurt a lot of people, Will. You hurt yourself. You hurt me. We did a lot of terrible things and I don’t think I can be with the person who I did that with. Plus, any money I have I’ll bet you have some kind of boyfriend.” I don’t even have to look at him to know I’ve hit the nail on the head. “You’re something, Will. You really think I’m just going to fall back into bed with you? You left scars that I’m not sure will ever heal. For months when I first started working at that bar in London when anyone would hit on me I would hyperventilate. I look at Delilah every day at work and I feel like running out the window because that woman is not a mean person. You are. You are cruel and self centered and manipulative and I let you take me down with you. I let myself be a part of the William Thwaites show and you don’t even care about the rest of the cast. I’ve spent the last year and a half getting over you and you never even cared about me at all. I can’t believe all the things I did just so that I could have you.” I don’t know when my voice started to rise, but by the end it’s high pitched

and gargled. I don’t even know if he understands what I’m saying. He must, though, because he looks down at his feet, like he feels guilty. “I want you to leave. I don’t love you anymore.” I honestly thought it would be my calling him names that would make William Thwaites lose it. I convinced myself that Will didn’t have any feelings for me, that I was just a warm body to play with. He pins me to the wall. As an investigative journalist specializing in crime, I’ve looked into the eyes of convicted killers time and time again, tonight Will was the scariest thing I had ever witnesses. It isn’t hard for me to throw him off, he wasn’t trying too hard to keep me in place. He must’ve thought I wouldn’t dare try to escape. I start to turn to run out my bedroom door when I slam into Clark. Co-worker. Friend? You could never tell with him. Clark played it closed to the chest always. He examines the scene before him. I can’t imagine what it looks like – his partner on this story and the old boss for the company he now works for. I decide to break the silence, “What’re you doing here?” “We were supposed to go interview the girl who asserts she saw Wexler the night he has an alibi for the McCarthy case on the opposite side of town he said he was. I heard a scuffle, and I remembered where you put the key. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Clark’s eyes are fixed on Will. I can tell he’s worked it all out. He knows. God,

the office will be on fire with this gossip Monday morning. Will cocks his eyebrow, “Is this your new fella?” Clark answers, “What’s it to you?” “Just a heads up, you’re not his first office sexcapade. Say a few nice things, he’ll do practically anything “I think you should leave.” Will pushes passed Clark and I, and I watch as Clarke disappears after him. I hear the door click with Will’s exit. I want to vomit. I want to cry. I want to fall into a heap and stay there. When Clark comes back, he sits beside me on the ground and pushes the hair out of my face, “How dare he come around here and threaten you because you’re the one who found him after he OD’d?” I look at Clark. I was so sure he’d figured it out - that he knew Will and I were… involved. I decide to ignore the niggling feeling in my stomach and just go with it. “Yeah – Thwaites did always have a habit of taking things to an extreme.” Clark pulls me to his chest, holding me tight, “You deserve the best, Si. Ignore that fucker.” So I do.

NOTE: This has been republished due to printing error in issue 2. / 61

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part three WORDS / Anonymous “What? Si, please.” A month since Will showed up at my place. A month since Clarke and I got drunk and he confessed his feelings for me. A month of pure happiness. I should have expected things were about to go wrong. Clarke looks terrified, like I’m going to rip his head off. He paces the room anxiously before stopping and kneeling in front of me, unzipping my pants. “Fuck it, we’ll talk later.” I laugh and push him away, “Whilst I know my sex appeal is incredibly hard to resist, you gotta tell me what’s up. It’s all I’ll think about the whole time anyway.”

“Leave, you asshole. It made you furious because what, I wouldn’t fuck you? You think I slept my way to where I was? Go fuck yourself. Get out.” Clarke groans, “Because I thought you still loved him!” I stare him straight in the eyes, “Was there a betting pool? If it was true? Was there one about why I left? Why I came back?” He nods. “Did you have money in it?” He nods again.

He sighs, “You couldn’t just play along, could you?” I place a kiss on his lips, “You’re scaring me, what’s wrong?” “I know.”

“So this was just ensuring you won the money then, right?” He looks appalled by the accusation, but I know better. The office knew. I shouldn’t have thought otherwise. How could I have been so stupid to think that I could just pick right back up where I left off?

“You know?” “Simon, please, I love –“ “About what happened between you and Will. I’ve always had my suspicions – I came in the aftermath of what happened between the two of you, then again the day he turned up at your place. Rumours about it always flew around the office - it was an unpopular theory, only a few people would even consider it from the Golden Boy Thwaites, but when you came back it pretty much shut it down. You jump every time someone says his name though. Made me fucking furious because -” “Leave.” 62 /

“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Don’t tell me you love me, you lied to me! How could you love me?” All I could think of was Will. Hiding me. Drugging himself up. Of every moment with Clarke tainted by this lie. He sighs and walks out the door.

Love is stupid So am I I guess that’s what makes our affair so divine.

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it was something like a soundtrack

WORDS / Grace White

There is a moment I remember deeply, the night air felt like the almost warmth of summer and it was the three of us escaping the concrete and brick halls. The year was closing in and my friends and I had all ventured out into that weird place where you were some kind of beautiful demon to every boy; the abyss of emotion they longed but couldn’t stare into. Earlier one of us had fought with a boy, the result of a culmination of missteps and apprehension that was caused by the ongoing effect of walking on ice with every guy you met. Skating through when it was fun, never stopping, we thought that was the answer, if only because they did that to us. The ignoring and constant effort to believe that if you never felt the hurt you could keep running free. Now we were running away, hardly free but needing the scent of summer to will us back into the real world. All of them had touched us, sometimes skin deep, but often further. I wished that I stopped sooner, and so did she. The orange lights and cement pavement beneath us were soothing as we skated by. Riding to the beach we talked and

talked. From that night and many nights after the feeling was always brought back to me when I listened to Lorde’s ‘Ribs’. The looming reverberating synth that turns to a thudding beat takes me straight back to those nights. A rolling wave of beats of partying, kissing, going home with them, leaving at daylight, and then starting all over again. As the track moves through repeating lyrics at increasing hypnotic pace there’s a sense of rabid desperation to get back a feeling once lost. This dream isn’t feeling sweet/we’re reeling through the midnight streets/ and I’ve never felt more alone/ It feels so scary getting’ old. Walking through the night with bravado that it would all be okay if we braved it together, like it was all a part of growing up and when we finished we’ll have passed. ‘Ribs’ is what pulls me back to the deep friendships we created, as we became women, for better or worst.

The weekend you spend away from your boyfriend she tells you the beds’ too big/ the frying pans’ too wide and when you’re together again he takes [you] in his loving arms and/ he tells [you] all his troubles and tells [you] all [your] charms. All of that chaotic desperation of youth forms slowly into different kinds of weary melancholy. Sometimes I think of everyone partying and I get the feeling everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go/ Well I don't think so.

Years on

The moments in the morning when, I wake to gentle light pouring through notes of dust in the bedroom are soft. The sheets are calm blue and the warmth of the one who loves me fills the room with another kind of radiance.

That was then, and this is now. Years away from those nights, I listen to Joni Mitchell. Just like Lorde she leans in closely to whisper stories that make us wonder how she could know us so well.

Another kind of Joni Mitchell turns in the background while we drink our coffee in the sun - applause, applause life is our cause/ when I think of your kisses/ my mind seesaws. / 63

“Love is stupid So am I I guess that’s what makes our affair so divine.”

thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

all

folks,

till

time

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