Gender and Sexuality

s e x u a l i t y • sexuality is just one of

/noun/

those things you are born

g e n d e r • A reflection of one’s

with, you do not choose it,

/noun/

self-image as relating

its just part of who you are.

to sexual nature.

m a g a z i n e

s t u d e n t

u o w

f r e e

2 0 1 6

/

# f o u r

i s s u e

issue

sexuality

&

gender

the

Note: This issue discusses sexual assault, abuse etc. If this makes you uncomfortable or will have a negative impact on you, please take caution.

spl

t h e

end

id

h u m a n s b e h i n d t h e m a g

EDITORS Jake Cupitt

CONTRIBUTORS

Claudia Poposki

Aisha Sini PRINTER

Zoe Simmons

Print & Mail

Claudia Poposki

Annika Tague

Jake Cupitt

Brenton Miller

PUBLISHER

Sarah Mieth

Annika Tague

SUB-EDITORS

Wollongong Undergraduate

Sarah Leong

Sophie Green

Zoe Simmons

Student Association

Chelsey Sanderson

Matthew Latham

DESIGNER/ILLUSTRATOR Ally Griffith

2 /

c o n t e n t s 04

editorials.

08

COLUMNS.

10

women are involved in sports. get over it.

11

casual relationships.

12

pretty hurts… right, Beyonce?

13

mental illness is not shameful.

14

nostalgia: our favourite frenemy.

15

“all my fault.”

16

FEATURES.

18

a world without labels.

20

ACON interview: let’s talk about sex(ual health).

24

abortion in Australia.

25

my two aunties.

26

carry caution while travelling.

27

FEATURE ARTIST

34

change; is it always a good thing?

35

Chelsey’s cool games corner for cool rainbow kids: stardew valley.

36

“it’s just period pain. go home.”

38

the hidden epidemic.

42

badass women of OITNB.

46

my two birthdays.

48

OITNB addressed something really important, and we need to talk about it.

50

women in stem.

52

Why is it wrong to kill LGBTQIA+ characters? And what’s the cause of all this death?

56

think of the kids.

59

from good intention to action: 7 ways to activate an ally.

62

CREATIVE WRITING

64

part four.

67

finito.

Disclosure:

Acknowledgement of country:

Disclaimer:

The contents of this publication are made for and by the students of the University of Wollongong. Views expressed are of individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of WUSA or the publisher.

Tertangala and WUSA acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land upon which we meet and work, that of the Dharawal people. We pay our respect to their elders past, present and future, for they hold the memories, the traditions, the culture and the hopes for Indigenous Australia.

Responsibility for the Tertangala is taken by the WUSA council. The University of Wollongong accepts no responsibility for this publication.

/ 3

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki

Welcome to the final issue of the Tertangala 2016! It has been a pleasure and honour to work alongside the rest of the editorial team and WUSA. I am heartbroken to say goodbye to this role.

This has been the issue I was most concerned about because I wanted to do it justice. People are still fighting and dying for those that they love, to be who they are. This is bullshit.

So, this is the Tertangala’s battle cry for those brave souls we have lost, for those who keep on fighting because there is still so much to do. We will do anything we can to help, because to be unafraid as you walk down the street is a basic human right.

Love is love. We are who we are. Have courage and faith.

We stand with you.

Love, Claudia

4 /

EDITORIALS

WORDS / Jake Cupitt @jakecupitt

This issue was something that I struggled with. I’m white. I’m straight. I’m a guy. I felt as though these simple facts alone meant I should just sit on my hands and let those who are affected take charge.

I thought, hey, maybe I could use my voice, the one people listen to without fail, to be an ally, to be a voice for those who are shut down constantly before they even get a word out.

I am comfortable with who I am, with my gender, my sex, my sexuality and my life. But there are people who find those things more difficult than me. And that’s what this issue is about; hopefully providing an expansion of knowledge to the people like me, who might not be aware how easy we (i.e white, straight male) have it.

J

/ 5

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

WORDS / Sam Tedeschi / President Wollongong Undergraduate Students’ Association wusapresident@gmail.com

Universities are the melting pots of ideas, opinions

based discrimination. I would encourage all those who

and views. At the University of Wollongong, we

believe in equality before the law and the respect for

embrace diversity and differences, listening to each

diversity to join us in the campaign for the legalisation

other’s ideas; even if we don’t 100% agree. Just as

of same-sex marriage. Every person convinced and every

we embrace diversity in opinion, we also embrace

mind changed is a step towards a more open and accepting

diversity in people. We know that all people deserve

Australia.

to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of their gender or sexuality. It comes down to each of us

This is also my final report as the President of WUSA. It

as individuals to create the environment that allows

is has been an exciting year for UOW and a great year to

people to be themselves without fear of persecution or

be a student here. The 2016 WUSA Council has hopefully

marginalisation.

done its part to help shape the future direction of UOW and I know that this university will continue to grow and

It is not to say that creating an environment of respect

evolve to meet the needs of an ever-changing world.

and acceptance is without its challenges. It is likely that this year the people of Australia will have their

It has been a wonderful experience to work with each

say on marriage equality through the upcoming plebiscite.

and every member of the WUSA Council, particularly my

While this is not the ideal course of action, it does

executive, the UNITY team, the leader of the opposition,

appear to be the only way that the Australian Government

the Queer Collective and the coordinators of this

will allow quality to be achieved.

fantastic magazine.

In addition to being President of WUSA, I am also the

It’s been an honour to represent and serve the students

President of the UOW Liberal Club. As a Club, we are

of UOW.

committed to the cause of marriage equality and we will be campaigning for the removal of this sexuality-

6 /

praesis ut prosis

EDITORIALS

WORDS / Chelsey Sanderson Co-convener Allsorts Queer Collective Wollongong’s LGBTQIAP+ arts scene the way that Eurovision It’s been a big year for the Allsorts Queer Collective!

(and soon, Asiavision) are a celebration of art, music and community!

Since our report last session we’ve had some brilliant experiences and we have some fantastic announcements to

You can find out about the event at http://qcgong2017.

make.

com/ and keep your eyes posted as more information is added.

A delegation of four members from the collective attended Queer Collaborations 2016 at Curtin University in Perth,

Coming up we have Gender and Sexuality Week in Week 8,

Western Australia during the session break. Queer

with workshops and Fair Day and heaps of other great

Collaborations is the National conference for queer

events. Keep your eyes peeled for more!

students. There we met with student leaders from all across Australia to discuss the matters that we, as a

If you consider yourself part of the LGBTQIAP+ acronym

LGBTQIAP+ community, face. A particular focus was placed

you’d like to get involved, why not drop in to 19.G039

on Rural and Regional campuses, something that Allsorts

to say hi, or join us for our meetings at 12:30 on

was very pleased to see and support.

Thursdays.

The University of Wollongong was also elected to hold

Alternatively, why not email us at uow.queer@gmail.com

next year’s Queer Collaborations! Get ready for QC ‘Gong 2017, with the theme of Queerovision, showcasing

Hope to see you all around.

/ 7

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

women in get

are

involved

sports. over

it

WORDS / Brenton Miller

“It’s part of the culture. It’s part

enemy, someone that only wanted to

of the sport. It’s just how men talk.

lure the famous players into being

It wasn’t even that bad. It was just

her husband.

a joke.”

Others like Jessica Yates who is now All excuses. All part of the problem.

Motorsports anchor for Fox Sports was

No one looking for a solution.

met with a mass of scepticism when she started covering cricket and then

The boys club that is Australian

motorsports. She worked through the

sports competitions, administration

sideways glances and the sneers to

and reporting is slowly beginning to

prove that women can and do know as

remove the “NO GIRLS ALLOWED” signs

much about sports as men.

from their clubhouses. Not without staunch defence from the old guard

When a female is appointed to a

however.

prominent position there has to be

AFL boss Gillon McLachlan said that

an extensive justification as to

it was a horrible indictment on

Female reporters have always had

why they are being given this role.

everyone within football that an

to work that little bit harder for

The biggest problem with this is

issue with it wasn’t even raised

recognition when it came to sport.

they aren’t being given anything.

until a week after the event. He went

They weren’t even allowed into some

They have had to work harder than

on to say that “the fact we can still

change rooms after the games to

most of the other broadcasters or

argue this may have been done in jest

interview players until Jacquelin

commentators (many of whom are ex-

shows a lack of understanding of the

Magnay took a club that wouldn’t

players that are handed jobs at the

issue.

allow her into their dressing rooms

end of their careers) to get where

all the way to the Human Rights

they are. This constant justification

“Casual language and jokes that are

Commission.

for qualified professionals being

offensive to women are part of the

promoted is part of the problem.

problem.”

According to Senior Sports Journalist

While broadcasters are progressing

for The Australian Nicole Jeffery,

there is still the ‘man’s world’

It is very easy for McLachlan to

they felt alone. She was the only

mentality within Australian sports.

say these things but there is an

female covering rugby league when she

This culture doesn’t discourage the

ingrained culture of misogyny within

started and she always felt as though

sort of comments made by Collingwood

sport throughout Australia that

she was being left out. A consummate

Magpies President Eddie McGuire about

allows these things to go unnoticed

professional that went on to win

Caroline Wilson (Chief Football

and unpunished unless the media

multiple awards was treated like an

writer for Melbourne’s, The Age).

highlights the issue.

10 /

COLUMNS

casual relationships.

WORDS / Claudia Poposki @claudiapoposki

In the modern dating world, there are two ways to meet people – either on

to stories like Nick and Norah’s and

a dating app or out at a party. You

Infinite Playlist, we have become

hook up, and you never see each other

intoxicated with this idea of falling

again. Gone are the days of sneaking

in love for a night and parting ways

around with co-workers or built up

in the morning, never to see each

tension between you and Bus Stop Boy.

other again.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with

They aren’t designed for long

casual, it begs the question - why?

term. One Epic Night is perfect,

Have we become so lazy that we want

crystalised. You don’t learn about

it all served up on a silver platter?

their bad habits and you cant get

Or, has casual ‘dating’ taken such a

hurt. These dating apps and parties

strong hold because we’re too afraid

are these unspoken agreements. No

of catching feelings and getting

strings attached. No feelings.

hurt?

Rom-coms everywhere have created

What is so wrong with feelings,

the formula that features Person A

though? Don’t you know it’s better to

falling in love with Person B and the

have fallen in love and getting hurt

two cant be together because a) one

than to never experience the rush

is already in a relationship b) lack

of it all? I’m not saying to fall

of communication c) one is leaving.

hard and fast, to open your heart to

We’ve decided never to be heartbroken

every person you meet, but to take

like this and so we fall in love with

a chance. Your one epic love may be

the story of One Epic Night. Thanks

around the corner.

/ 11

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

pretty

hurts…

right,

Beyonce?

WORDS / Kayla Chapman

I continued the relationship, and it got me thinking: they say pain is the price of beauty, and this is

We’ve been told our whole lives that

a really clear example of that, but

beauty is pain. But just how much

what lengths are we willing to go

pain is worth it?

to for ‘beauty’? How much pain is enough, and when do you know you’ve gone too far?

Although they took their sweet time, the seasons have finally shifted and

Standing under the shower head, I

damaging effect this can have on

winter has cemented itself as a top

concluded that this small price of

young girls who grow up thinking

influencer to our outfit creating

pain was worth it. I began giving my

it’s normal to encounter such

decisions for the next few months

washed hair a final rinse under cold

painful procedures in order to be

(Girls Night Out in a Little Black

water to seal the cuticle, as I had

‘beautiful’. I, myself, look at my

Dress? Uh, hell no. It’ll be my

read about the benefits of this too,

group of girlfriends, where half of

favourite jeans and the warmest coat

and I swear I could see an overall

them have had some sort of cosmetic

I own for me, thanks).

increase in the health, shine and

surgery. I see their enhanced lips

thickness of my hair. Give it a go

and know that my lips can never look

ladies (or gents).

like that until I spend a few hundred

So, when I read somewhere that after washing one’s face with warm water

dollars on fillers.And I don’t want

we should rinse it with cold water

Now, let’s turn our attention to the

to do that. It’s painful and it costs

to ‘close open pores’, why would I

really painful stuff. Eyebrow waxing?

a lot to maintain (fillers only last

decide that I should test this trick

Rite of passage. Waxing above the

three to six months). But fillers,

in the middle of winter? We all know

upper-lip (a.k.a. the moustache)? You

along with many other cosmetic

it’s hard enough just stepping out of

gotta do what you gotta do. Heels for

procedures, are becoming the new

a hot shower in the colder months,

the nine to five work day? No big

norm, and it’s leaving girls feeling

so just imagine the torture – and

deal.

inadequate about their natural

the self-discipline it requires – of

features.

turning that precious hot tap off and

What about microdermabrasion?

letting your face bask in the Artic

Waist-training? Plastic surgery?

So what do we do about it? Do we

water it then receives.

Lip fillers? I could go on, but you

keep telling our girls that pain is

get the idea. These processes are

the price of beauty? Or do we turn

But alas, I soldiered on. One week

uncomfortable at best, excruciating

off Keeping Up with the Kardashians

of the new love-hate relationship

at worst. And as they are becoming

and let them know that that is not

with my shower saw my face beginning

increasingly more common for young

normal. Natural is normal. And normal

to clear of it’s many blemishes. So

women, I’m starting to realise the

is enough. Normal is beautiful.

12 /

COLUMNS

mental

illness

is

not

shameful.

WORDS / Zoe Simmons @ItBeginsWithZ

How many times do we have to say this to get it to stick?

logic. But instead of supporting me, he told me I was being stupid. He told me I should get over it. He told me

There’s still a stigma attached to mental illness.

I wasn’t the daughter he raised.

Even with all this awareness, and all this education, people don’t seem to understand it. Mental illness is

Sympathy is the last thing I want, but a little

also a very serious issue—one in five Australians will

understanding, consideration, or even love, would have

experience some form of mental illness in a year. And

been nice.

many people—as a result of this stigma—are afraid to seek help or open up about their illnesses. For instance,

Family members blame me for this incident, and say I’m

72% of males who experience mental illness don’t seek

being ridiculous and selfish. One member even said my

help. Men also represent over two thirds of Australian

mental illness is an embarrassment.

suicides. Mental illness is not faked. It is not “making excuses”. We are not crazy, and we are not shameful.

Well, you know what? Fuck you. Mental illness is not an embarrassment. It is not shameful. No, we can’t just “get

I am one of these Australians, and I am also one of the

over it”, and no, we’re not being stupid. Readers, if

5% who have bipolar 2, which basically means is that

someone you love is suffering from an invisible illness,

I experience extended periods of highs and lows. But

even if you don’t understand it or don’t like it, please

they’re not just any highs or lows. The highs are the

respond with love and support—not hate, shame and blame.

greatest thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m indestructible, carefree, loved, smart, and successful—I am anything

We need to clear the air about mental illness. We need

I want to be. It’s like I’m flying, soaring. It’s the

to get rid of the stigma—for all the pain it’s caused,

most addictive drug you could ever experience: it makes

for all the shame it’s caused, and for all the lives it’s

everything feel perfect. But when that feeling is ripped

taken because they were too afraid of judgement. It takes

away—almost like clockwork—it’s maddening. The lows are

the average person with bipolar 10-20 years to realise

desolate, destructive, dangerous, and I believe every bad

what they’re experiencing is actually bipolar. Speaking

thing I’ve ever heard to be truth. It’s overwhelming.

from experience, we’re afraid to speak up—for any kind of

Around, and around you go—a merry-go-round with no end in

illness. We’re afraid to get help, and we’re afraid to

sight. It’s enough to make you lose your mind.

confront what’s going on inside of our own heads. Stigma kills.

But we don’t talk about it.

So, let’s break the silence. Let’s talk about our And when we do, we’re often met with disbelief, anger,

feelings. Let’s confront ourselves, and let other people

and shame—even from those we love the most.

in. Let’s help ourselves and each other. Together, we can make a change. Together, we are powerful—and we will get

I first told my somewhat distant father on Anzac day, and

through this.

admittedly, I didn’t tell him the best way I could have.

Bipolar and severe anxiety doesn’t exactly mix well with

#FuckTheStigma

/ 13

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

nostalgia: our

favourite

frenemy.

WORDS / Anikka Tague

Nostalgia is a terrifying emotion for a lot of people.

We either clutch onto it with all our might, or we have it tightly gift wrapped in a brown paper box, tied up with blue ribbon and sent off to Timbuktu. It’s hidden

and happy. I look at myself now. I’m still me. The navy

everywhere. It’s laced in the trees of your backyard.

blue dress will still hug me in all the right places, but

It’s sprinkled on your mother’s apple pie. Your bedroom,

I would never wear it again. I have let go of the essence

no matter how young or old, is completely exploding with

it held. I am not the 18-year-old version of myself

nostalgia.

who would wear this and rock it. I am the 21-year-old who looks at the memories the dress holds, happy

they

I crave it. Nostalgia is something that grounds me; that

happened, but glad they are over. In a sense, the dress

makes us human. Experiencing it places us somewhere on

is a small factor, a minor contributor in the shift that

the emotional scale and perhaps for some people that can

makes me an evolving human being. If I wore that dress

be a bit too much. Once, while having a conversation

now, regardless of how it fits me, I would look like an

with my friend’s host-brother from France, he told me

idiot. Maybe not to anyone else, but the mirror tells me

“Australians are fixated with the past”. All of our

it’s not an option. I’m a different version of myself

stories, a large source of our humour, are based on

three years later, and it’s time the dress gets posted on

things that have already happened. We can’t seem to move

UOW Student’s Buy and Sell. $25. Time to go buy a book.

out of it, we love to talk about the no longer. For him, it was nice to watch us relish in the days of our youth,

One would assume that in the modern days of consumerism,

but it didn’t seem very constructive.

when we’re constantly replacing the old with the new, that nostalgia has escaped us. But no, it has found new

I suppose he was right. What good is going through your

and innovative ways to creep into our lives. Hugging

wardrobe and finding a stuffed toy that you’d thought you

onto your stuffed walrus Mookie might transport you back

lost, but really, she sat there waiting patiently for you

to a simpler time, and you thank nostalgia for being a

to find her? Okay, maybe he was crazy. Finding things

gracious old friend. But you forgot about nostalgia’s

that remind you of, not a better time, but a different

backstabbing side. Thankfully, Facebook has reminded us.

time is what helps us grow. I look at reminders of my

Each day, nostalgia knocks on your door with a simple

past: stuffed animals, a photograph, an old jumper, the

notification.

scent of a once-used perfume and I think of who I am

a status that could diminish your entire social life. If

today. I compare. What once was, what never became, and

you decide you want to do this, please click the ‘share’

now what is.

button, if you’re happy and you like yourself, please

“On this day, seven years ago, you wrote

keep scrolling as if 2009 never happened.” Thank you I hold a navy blue dress before me, remembering my 18th

Facebook, but most importantly, thank you nostalgia, for

birthday when I first wore it. I was thin, I was tanned,

reminding me that if I met my 15-year-old self, I’d flick

my hair was long and my smile was wide. I looked healthy

her gently on the nose and tell her to take a hike.

14 /

COLUMNS

“all

my

fault.”

WORDS / Elise Manning @manningelise

When I was 14, I had an apple thrown at my face in the playground, which bruised my cheek because another

he always gets what he wants. Later

When I was 8, I was asked to play a

girl thought I was talking to her

that night everyone had gone home

game of “kiss, marry or kill” with 6

boyfriend too much.

except him. My friend was asleep and

friends in my class. I was picked to

I was watching TV. He tried to kiss

kill by all the boys. By the third

When I was 15, I was drinking at a

me and pull off my pants. I told him

time I said I didn’t want to play

friends house and fell asleep on her

repeatedly to stop and to go home.

anymore but everyone said I had to

bed, a boy 5 years older than me I

He did not leave. He followed me to

finish. One of the boys said it was

had met that night slipped his hands

the bedroom and tried again. I yelled

because I looked the fattest. I cried

down my skirt while I was asleep.

at him to go. He laughed. I locked

in the toilets for 10 minutes and my

I jumped up to find he had locked

myself in the bathroom that night

teacher got me in trouble for taking

the door. When my friend came and

and waited until he left the next

so long.

unlocked it and laughed while telling

morning.

me he was probably joking.

When I was 9, a group of older boys

I am 21. I went to see a friend’s

would follow my friends and I around

When I was 16, a boy a tried to

band play at a local pub with my

the playground and wouldn’t leave us

have sex with me on someone’s front

dad, brother and boyfriend. Someone

alone. I kicked one of the boys in

lawn at a party. I told him no so he

I have never seen before grabbed me

the shin and told them to leave us

called me a slut and ignored me for

while walking to the bar.

alone. A teacher made me spend the

the rest of the night.

pushed my head into his and tried to

next lunch inside and told me they

He then

kiss me. I told him to back off and

were only doing it because they liked

When I was 18, my boyfriend would

pointed to my boyfriend. His friends

us.

talk about other girls being prettier

were laughing and he told me to come

than me and make me feel like I must

and find him later.

When I was 10, a younger boy would

not love him if I didn’t want to have

always come up to me and smack my bum

sex all the time.

and run away. It made me feel really

I am 21 and constantly touched when I didn’t ask to be. I am 21 and no

uncomfortable; I embarrassedly told

When I was 20, my 40-year-old boss

matter how loud my voice is some men

mum who just laughed and said it

would tell me he would totally fuck

don’t listen.

would just be a game.

me if I ate meat and wasn’t so in love with animals.

When I was 13, a boy asked me to be

So many survivors of sexual assault or unwanted advances blame

his girlfriend. I said yes, he tried

I am 21. I visited my friend in

themselves. The truth is, it is not

to kiss me the next day at school

Queensland for a week and had drinks

your fault. We need to begin teaching

but I turned my head because I was

with her friends. One of them told me

don’t rape, rather than how not to

nervous, the next day, he got another

he decided he was going to sleep with

be raped.

girl to come and tell me I was dumped

me, I told him I wasn’t interested

because I was frigid.

and I had a boyfriend. He told me

It is not my fault.

/ 15

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

WORDS / Sarah Leong

In a new age where the disputes about gender, sexuality,

issues about gender and sexuality then let the voices

beauty, race and identity are truly out and about, we

flow.

should strip it back to where it all started.

All of these chitchats are great and give insight Back when societies first emerged, it used to be that you

into what needs to be changed but the bigger picture

were either female or male, but that is utterly wrong.

is looking at having people gather a mutual and basic

Even back then the concepts of being lesbian or gay

understanding of something simple, something we can’t

existed. Some males felt they were born into the wrong

change – to let go of labelling and categorizing people

body, as did some females. While the breakthroughs of

when we were all born the way we are.

transgender surgery are still fairly recent, the notion of it isn’t. What am I even going on about here – what do all these have in common?

They are labels.

Oxford Dictionary Definition BEAUTY – [mass noun] A combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight

These ‘tags’ have gone to create stereotypes, clichés

We have seen and heard arguments about defining beauty,

and have fuelled the mannerism of judgement in today’s

comparisons of how the notion has developed throughout

society. There are labels that we have continued to build

years and what is right, wrong, positive or negative with

upon and attached stigmas to because they were out of the

the conventional views of beauty. The image of beauty has

‘norm’, whatever the hell that is. Stepping into the 21st

been filtered in so many ways that I have lost track of

century, our societies have become more accepting than

all that has been voiced. Instead, it has me asking what

ever before, but there’ll always be those whose attitudes

‘beauty’ means to me. What does it mean to you?

haven’t changed and remain negative.

For myself, I see true beauty as the ability to overcome The rise of social media into our quotidian lives has

judgement based on external influences, whether it’s

given many others the chance to voice their opinions.

social standards or what the media depicts. Instead, I

Whether they be opposed or not, they bring out

believe it’s the ability to accept every individual for

discussions from all points of views. Whilst the comment

who they are.

section of YouTube or any other sort of forum may not be the best with a usual majority of comments lacking

This may sound broad, simple or even hackneyed, but to

vindication, it’s better than silence. To speak about it,

me it’s basic. Strip back all external influences about

keeps it relevant and if now is the time to tackle the

your judgement and you should see someone for the way

18 /

FEATURES

a world without labels .

they’re born. Search deeper and you’ll realise we can’t change who we truly are. We all have different DNA and to change our perception of an individual based on falsified standards of beauty would be akin to mutating our own DNA so we become something forged, losing the authenticity of our identities – a natural image.

Knowing what ‘beauty’ signifies to me – let me revisit the oxford definition of ‘beauty’ and rephrase it to this: BEAUTY – [mass noun] A combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, which makes us human and defines each individuals natural origin and is a genuine part of each individual’s identity, excluding external judgment based on fabricated standards that degrade this meaning.

opinions and differences is what makes us individuals and unique. What I’m aiming for is achieving acceptance – acceptance of one another for who we each are. What I’m also saying is to be proud of who you are. If you accept yourself first, you can then stand up and let others know that that is you.

Through time there has always been oppositions such as day and night, good and evil, but they co-exist with one another through different time zones or help to show what is right and wrong. For example, though war is devastating, without ever knowing what it is we never would have known what peace is.

Labels make no sense but to categorise us into ‘defined groups’. Who are we to let something external from

Me, I was born in Australia but come from a Chinese,

society or in our cultures or even someone else, define

Italian and Malaysian background, but I also grew

us though?

up going to a French school surrounded by a European

We must find ourselves. It’s true that the

outer world or our parents can be influential to us,

culture. I don’t define myself as being Australian or

but they were influenced themselves too. Yet we still

Asian or associate myself as seeming to be European. I

all share different opinions and that shows that we can

see myself as having no defining nationality. The world

break free from all these labels. More so, we may clash

is full of life in different cultures and I choose to

at times, but we also learn to accept the differences and

be defined by that – by versatility. The environments

move on.

and cultures I have grown within are only a part of who I am but these differences fuse to create a part of my

They’ll always be those who won’t listen, who won’t

own identity. This is a part of who I am, defined and

care, who won’t see how some changes can be affirmative.

accepted by me, myself and I.

I write to you among many other voices with the same message. I’m not saying people should change. Having

Who are you?

/ 19

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

ACON

interview: about

let’s

sex(ual

talk

health)

WORDS / Claudia Poposki

gay, bisexual, transgender and

community members around homophobic

@claudiapoposki

intersex (LGBTI) health. Established

and transphobic violence, as well as

in 1985 as the AIDS Council of NSW,

domestic violence in our communities.

we’re here to end HIV transmission

Then, a couple of years ago, I was

among gay and homosexually active

asked if I wanted to move into a

men, and promote the lifelong health

Regional Outreach role. I moved into

Sexual health is seldom discussed

of LGBTI people and people with HIV.

that role in an acting capacity and

in public. It’s still taboo in many

then was made permanent a few months

forms, but ACON are doing what

Our head office is in Sydney, we

after that and have now been the

it can to not only increase the

have offices in five regional

team leader of Regional Outreach for

conversation, but also give people

locations and we provide services

almost 12 months.

the support and options they need to

throughout NSW. The Illawarra region

receive treatment, with a focus on

is supported through the Regional

LGBTI sexual health. The Tert had the

Outreach team.

ACON: AIDS Council of NSW.

opportunity to speak to Teddy Cook, Regional Outreach team leader for

What do you do in Regional Outreach?

The Regional Outreach team covers an

How did you get involved?

ACON, about not only how to protect

area that runs from Wollongong down to the border, so Bega, and then

yourselves, but why it’s so important

So I’ve been at ACON for nearly 5

through an area, the Murrimbidgee,

to take seriously.

years and I started initially in

which is Albury, Wagga and Griffith.

what was known as the Anti-Violence

Over to Broken Hill and then down

Project. Up until that time I’d been

to Danton, which is in the south

doing various community volunteer

west of the state, so its sort of

type things around trans related

southern and far west NSW. We are a

health primarily, and in particular

health promotion team, and our work

We’re a NSW-based health promotion

sexual health for trans men. So, I

is to extend the services of ACON.

organisation specialising in HIV

started working in the Anti-Violence

We act as referral pathways back

prevention, HIV support and lesbian,

Project and was there engaging with

into ACON and also for community

Here is what he had to say: Tell me a little about ACON?

20 /

FEATURES

members seeking inclusive services

an uptake of treatment and supporting

You’re talking to a self-confessed

locally. We do a bunch of community

people to make good and informed

sexual health nerd so I’m quite

development type initiatives

decisions about their own health.

biased but I believe sexual health

and events and support community

So there is quite a bit to be done in

is incredibly important. Having a

activities, providing resources and

the role!

positive and knowledgeable connection

safe sex materials. We do education

to sexual health goes a long way

work with local LGBTI communities,

Yeah, there is a whole lot of stuff.

to normalise and destigmatise

so we recently did a peer workshop

We also engage online a lot. We have

things like HIV and other STIs.

for LGBTI people in Wollongong on

a really active Facebook page and

Understanding risk, testing often,

sexual health and sexual ethics and

do bits of online intervention when

treating early and making informed

communication, risk and pleasure

we’re doing Outreach. We connect

choices about how we want to have

and all that kind of stuff – a bit

and allow people to ask questions

sex can be very empowering for our

of kinky play in there too! The

through a Grindr profile that we

communities. HIV is arguably one

primary work of ACON is around HIV

have from local areas. People ask

of the most stigmatised conditions

prevention and support. We also

a lot of questions. We work really

in history and much of this stigma

engage around LGBTI health, and

closely with sexual health clinics.

in Western countries can be not only

that can be in working with local

The work that we’re doing with EPIC

attributed to homophobia but also a

service providers to make sure they

NSW study is about educating people

misunderstanding of HIV transmission

are aware of the unique needs of

about what PrEP is and how to get

and treatment.

LGBTI people and supporting different

access to it via the EPIC study. We

events and bits and pieces. We do a

did a community forum in Wollongong

Who is the most at risk?

whole bunch of campaign work around

a couple months ago that was really

HIV prevention, particularly what

well attended, kind of having that

In Australia, gay men and other men

safe sex is all about and what it

community led response in HIV.

who have sex with men (including

looks like today, increasing rates of testing, particularly amongst gay men, increasing in understanding and

trans men) are disproportionately How important is sexual health?

affected by HIV. In fact most of the newly reported diagnoses each

/ 21

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

year are among gay-identified men

from someone who doesn’t know they

decrease because more people know and

living in our capital cities.

have it so that is why we’re focusing

are able to make decisions around

When compared to other LBQ/not-

our message on increasing testing. I

treatment. That’s STIs and HIV as

straight populations, gay men

think there is a lot of information

well.

experience a greater prevalence of

and education around gay male

STIs as well. HIV is a condition

communities and men who have sex with

In Wollongong, Port Kembla Hospital

that is perpetuated by stigma and

men communitites and it’s more about

has a fantastic sexual health clinic.

criminalisation, in some countries

increasing the rates of testing.

People are able to tested by their

this means that sex workers and

GP, absolutely. They may not get bulk

injecting drug users (as well as gay

What are some things we can do to

billed by their GP and they may have

men) shoulder a heavy burden of HIV.

protect ourselves?

some worries around how judgment free

In NSW, gay men make up 80% of new

their experiences will be, but many

diagnoses each year.

Perhaps the number one thing we can

GPs are fantastic. For free, largely

do to stay safe is to understand

anonymous, confidential experience I

Is this because of lack of education

risk and consent. Condoms, when used

would absolutely recommend the Port

in schools on sex education being

correctly, provide very high levels

Kembla sexual health clinic. People

either about biology or hetero

of protection from both HIV and STIs

can also talk about the EPIC study

relationships?

but they don’t protect you from every

and getting access to PrEP at the

STI so it’s still important to test

Port Kembla site as well.

There is probably a million thesis

often. It is recommended that men

on why HIV is prevalent amongst men

into men test twice a year to every

Tell me a little about the EPIC study

who have sex with men, but it is

three months, women into women once a

and PrEP?

a phenomena we see across Western

year, non-binary people can consider

countries. What we see is called a

testing needs based on who they are

PrEP stands for Pre-Exposure

contained epidemic, that HIV tends to

having sex with.

Prophylaxis, essentially it’s a

be largely disproportionally effects

tablet that you take daily and it

what we call MSM, gay and other men

How important is testing and where

prevents HIV

who have sex with men communities.

are some places in the Illawarra you

I think, having said that, gay men

can be tested?

What is the role of the Port Kembla

in particular are very mobilsed

site in relation to PrEP?

around safe sex and what it means

If we’re going to lower the rates

to them. Gay men in particular,

of HIV and STIs more broadly, there

Port Kembla Sexual Health Clinic

particularly across NSW and Australia

needs to be a really big focused

will play the very important role of

have a really high understanding

increase on sexual health testing.

managing the clinical care component

and literacy around sexual health

So if more people are tested and

of the EPIC-NSW Study. The study

and how to stay safe. It’s mostly,

more STIs are diagnosed and treated,

will see 3,700 people at high risk

you’re more likely to acquire HIV

the larger pool of STIs begins to

of acquiring HIV enrolled in a

22 /

FEATURES

“If

we’re

rates

of

broadly, really

going

big

HIV

there

to and

STIs

needs

focused

sexual

lower

to

the more be

increase

health

a on

testing.”

criteria-based access program at 20

called Smoke Free, Still Fears, which

sites across NSW, one of which is

is another program for LBQ women

Port Kembla Sexual Health Clinic

around reduing smoking rates. Whilst

and also Nowra Sexual Health Clinic.

the rest of the Australian population

Eligibility for the study will be

has been steadily decreasing their

determined on the basis of HIV risk

smoking rates, among LBQ women it’s

the programs that I redeveloped as

criteria. The aim is to rapidly enrol

increasing. It’s one of the only

part of the Anti-Violence project,

eligible people and follow them for

populations where smoking has been

which was a fantastic experience and

up to two years while they take PrEP.

increasing. Smoke Free, Still Fears

an amazing thing to do. It’s just

is a really amazing campaign, it

acon.org.au/safeplace. It would be

Those wishing to participate in EPIC

has a really awesome video that’s

great to have more around Wollongong,

can make an appointment with the Port

attached to it and a whole lot of

actually.

Kembla Sexual Health Clinic on 02

other information.

4223 8457 for a sexual health test and chat about enrolling.

We do more work and there is more The program Claude, which is our

news to come around this, but we

sexual health and art project for

are developing more programs around

What other projects does ACON have

LBQ women, as well as homosexuals,

domestic violence in our communities

running at the moment? We’ve all seen

website that has a whole lot of

as well. That is a bit of a snap

the giant billboards in the city!

awesome, beautiful information and

shot. We also do a lot of work in

pictures. We also run peer workshops

the policy and advocacy space as

We’re running a big PrEP campaign

for young, gay men in Sydney. We’re

well, both across the state and

at the moment and a big testing

about to launch online workshop

nationally as well. We try to lead

campaigning. We have just launched

that will be based in a sort of

the conversation around HIV at the

a campaign called Talk Touch Test,

webinar type programs for young,

state level particularly.

which is a program out of our

gay men about sexual health, with a

ACON for Women project which is

particular target for men in regional

We also have a dedicated Aboriginal

encouraging LBQ women and also people

areas. We’re doing a whole lot of

Project that engages in HIV and

who were assigned female at birth and

work in the community safety space.

LGBTI work with Aboriginal LGBTI

have retained the chest that they

We’re doing a program that the

people including Sistergirls and

have grown up with to talk around

University of Wollongong has many,

Brotherboys.

cancer screening, breast cancer

many involved. It’s called the LGBTI

screening to increase testing rates.

safe place program; you may have seen

This is because, generally speaking,

some stickers around campus? That’s

If you would like to learn more about ACON

we know that the community is really

a program that we re-launched a few

and the work they do, check out their

under screening around breast cancer

years ago. We have over 600 venues

Facebook or website:

checking. There’s also another

around the state that participate as

https://www.facebook.com/aconhealth/?fref=ts

campaign that we recently launched

LGBTI safe places. That was one of

http://www.acon.org.au

/ 23

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

abortion

in

Australia

WORDS / Aisha Sini

In May of this year, a conscience vote was held to decriminalise abortion in Queensland after Independent Rob Pyne pushed for

account rather than just health. Many

abortion to be removed from the

patients trying to access abortion

Criminal Code.

clinics have faced the wrath of protesters on their entry and exit to

As the law stands, abortions are

receive services.

currently allowed if the continuation of the pregnancy would prove

According to the Australian

detrimental to the mother’s health.

government, an abortion can cost from

The bill involves decriminalizing

$300-850 depending on the type of

the woman receiving the abortion, the

surgery and state where the abortion

medic performing the surgery and any

is accessed. Abortion clinics can be

person assisting, and also allows the

found:

pregnancy to be terminated at any time.

•

Twelve in Sydney, three more along the coast and one in

A survey conducted in Queensland

Albury.

by Lonergan Research shows that

•

There’s a single one in the ACT.

of 1000 participants, 73% support

•

A single one in the Northern

decriminalization of the law, 24% were unaware it was criminal, 87%

Territory.

•

support women being able to access

Five in the whole of Western Australia.

abortions in the state, and 58%

•

One in South Australia.

believe abortion should be allowed

•

Three in Tasmania.

when the woman chooses.

•

Eight in Victoria, all in

Currently, Labour supports a

•

Melbourne. conscience vote and the Greens

Nine in Queensland concentrated in Brisbane and the Gold Coast.

are pro-choice, while the Liberal National Party are against changing

To access an abortion in Australia,

abortion laws, which Tony Abbott

women may have to travel for hours,

famously referred to as “the easy way

pay for transport, hotel rooms, stay

out”.

in a strange town, face protestors, pay up to $800, and that’s if they’re

In New South Wales, the laws are

even allowed to terminate the

fairly similar, though social and

pregnancy because it’s not considered

economic factors are taken into

“necessary”.

24 /

FEATURES

my two aunties

WORDS / Jake Cupitt @jakecupitt

I can’t recall a specific moment when I realised my aunt was a lesbian. I can remember the first time I met a girlfriend of hers though; I was about 12 and she came over one night and met the whole family, and I think from

So while I’m studying away and the family is far from my

there I accepted that Karen and Margy were a couple.

mind, I come home one weekend for dinner and my aunty Kaz has some news for me, she tells me she has broken up with

However, I also think at that time I didn’t fully

Margy. I was devastated. I was shocked, straight away

understand what it meant to be a part of the queer

the first thing I thought was, “will I still get to see

community. And I’m glad that was the case, because

Margy?”

to me this was how everybody’s family was, I had no preconceived idea that some people disagreed with it.

I asked her why and the usual reasons followed, “we grew apart”, “we fell out of love”, “it was just too hard”.

Margy was part of the family, she came to all the Christmases, and she came to my high school graduation

Here I was sitting at the dinner table, with a mouth full

dinner, she was my friend and I loved her like I loved my

of potatoes, and tears started to well in my eyes. I had

aunty Kaz.

lost a family member. She wasn’t dead, I could still go see her and call her, they said, but I guess I was too

After high school had finished and I hadn’t applied to

nervous to make that initial phone call and bridge the

any universities, I was just working and saving for

gap of awkwardness.

travel. When I came back from travel and decided 9 to 5 wasn’t for me, I came to Margy for guidance. She

I haven’t spoken to her since, and I feel really bad. I

had recently graduated from uni with her Masters in

desperately want to talk to her and see how she’s going,

Psychology, her third degree so far. She loved uni, and

but what if she’s moved on? What if she doesn’t really

she still goes, she just loves learning. There was a

care for me anymore? Those are some of my worst fears.

running joke in the family, “what are you studying now

She was a guide, she pointed in the right direction and

Margy?” usually the second or third question out of our

she was the only sane person in my family of crazies. I

mouths, after “how are you?”

could always come to her for help.

She was the one who helped me take the first steps

Family isn’t about tradition, or template shapes that

towards getting a degree and bettering myself. For that,

everyone’s fits into. Family is love, and Margy showed me

I’ll always be truly grateful to her.

that. My two aunties taught me that love is blind.

/ 25

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

carry

caution

while

travelling

WORDS / Sarah Mieth

When the travel bug infects you, you pretty much have no cure to try and hold you down. But that’s not necessarily

two other tourists on a working holiday from Argentina

a bad thing, right? Being young, having our somewhat

and Poland were assaulted and robbed of items in their

happy-go-lucky attitude and not being massively tied-

van, as Imran Ali from The Northern Advocate writes.

down by adult responsibilities (that we choose to

The assault of these tourists ultimately resulted in

acknowledge), we are in our prime time to probe the

them being admitted to hospital and then later being

globe. However, the aura of buoyance can overshadow

discharged.

the often-unanticipated incidences that can shatter a valued holiday. Unfortunately, it is a tourist’s exuding

More recently on the 24th September 2015, an Australian

vulnerability that can make them appear as targets for an

woman and her boyfriend were holidaying in Samoa when

endless cycle of illegal offences.

an intruder broke into their hotel room. Angie Jackson was “allegedly bound, gagged and raped” in front of her

Scrolling down my newsfeed on Facebook one night, I came

boyfriend, Tommy Williams, as the Daily Mail Australia

across an article about a young 25-year-old primary

reports. The man who is believed to be a prison escapee

school teacher, Airdre Mattner, who wanted to venture

was armed with scissors and also stole money and

out and travel in Asian countries after she attained

belongings before he left the scene. The Tasmanian couple

an English teaching job in Japan. Signing up for a pub

subsequently spoke to police over the next few days and

crawl with hopes of encountering fellow tourists, Airdre

were fortunately able to identify the culprit from a

Mattner had one of her drinks spiked even though she

series of photographs. They are both now waiting for

had bought them all herself. Mattner’s night cruelly

the June 27th trial for which they’ve been asked to be

down-spiralled into a horrific ordeal that saw her being

witnesses for.

kidnapped and driven to an unknown location, and then being subsequently raped.

While travelling is a sure right-of-passage into the independence and freedom of young adulthood, it does make

But what is even more appalling is the lack of legal

tourists more vulnerable to criminal acts in foreign

action taken against the perpetrators. Mattner confronted

countries. An individual’s trust in travelling has the

the Korean police but instead of investigating the matter

potential to degrade not only due to such incidences

much further, probed Mattner on topics of her clothing,

occurring, but also in regards to the somewhat poor

alcohol consumption and if she was alone at the time.

legal action taken against these crimes. The crucial

Overall, their ‘enquiries’ into the matter were futile in

pieces of advice here are to take extreme caution when

terms of attaining justice and left Mattner defenceless

you are planning your next holiday; try not to travel

in a foreign country.

alone at night, keep your belongings in a reliable place, keep contact details of the Australian embassy with you

Even more so, in New Zealand, which is a little closer to

and try to ‘blend in’ with the crowd to attract less

home, two tourists from Germany were held at knifepoint

attention. You can always probe the globe and embrace the

by a 20-year old man demanding money. Fortunately, these

exotic experiences that a foreign country brings, but do

travellers were able to drive away without torment and

so in the right mindset where your safety is the absolute

the man was later found and charged with assault. However

number one priority.

26 /

m i l l i /proper noun/ artist.

r a i n •

a r t i s t s t a t e m e n t

WORDS / Milli Rain

The Pulse shooting in Orlando came as a heart breaking shock to me in the midst of writing my last essays for the end of Autumn uni session. As a Queer artist, this hate crime was a clear incentive to create something that to me, reflected our community.

These

are

water

colour

just

a

couple

paintings

I

of

simple

did

over

the week after the Pulse shooting. In the middle of essays and exams, water colours are an easy and quick way for me to create images and express what I feel needs to be commented on. A week later I was still angry and I wanted to

create

that

in

a

images world

to

remind

filled

people

with

such

hate, there is still love and there is pride. I painted what came to mind when I thought of the Queer community and what I have witnessed at equality rallies and at events such as Mardi Gras.

Strength,

love

and

diversity

within our community came to mind and so that is what I painted.

FEATURES

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

change; is

it

always

a

good

thing?

WORDS / Kurtis Hughes the invasive treatments- especially minors, who are often forced to undergo treatment by parents or legal Among the screams from the masses of right-wing

guardians.

conservatives often come accusations that homosexuality is a choice made by the individual. These accusations

According to a 2009 report from the American

are often accompanied by litanies of ‘valid’ resources

Psychological Association, the techniques therapists

that attempt to confirm these groundless ideas as

use in an attempt to change an individual’s sexual

truth. Although many, myself included, tend to toss

orientation and gender identity

these prejudiced claims to the wind and get on with our

often revolve around the theme of aversive conditioning.

lives, the act of medically attempting to ‘convert’ LGBT

This form of behavioural alteration uses noxious stimuli

individuals to a state of ‘natural heterosexuality’ is

to reduce and remove the signs of undesirable behaviours.

still an issue that affects many within our world.

Stimuli can involve electric shocks, pain in the form of snapping wristbands, and shame. Aversive conditioning is

The appropriately-termed ‘conversion therapy’ constitutes

often used in the case of alcoholism, and it is there

a range of dangerous and highly invalid medical practices

that the main problem lies. This form of ‘therapy’ rests

that falsely claim to change an individual’s sexual

on the widely criticized premise that being an LGBT

orientation, gender identity or expression. In years

individual is a genetic defect and disorder that needs

following the gay rights movement of the 1960s, such

adequate medical care.

practices became rejected and highly discredited by mainstream medical and mental health organisations.

The limited research surrounding such ‘reparative’

However, due to the pervasive stereotypes and continuing

efforts has aptly disproven their efficacy, whilst

discriminatory behaviours against LGBT people, some

also revealing their extremely harmful nature. Going

practitioners continue to conduct conversion therapy in

beyond the studies that focus solely on the effects

an attempt to rectify these ‘behavioural abnormalities’.

of reparative therapy, broader research affirmatively demonstrates the significant harm that societal

The practice of conversion therapy has been embedded

prejudices and rejection from social and family

within every society for as long as the social stigmas

circles can have on the individual, especially youth.

associated with the LGBTQ+ community have existed.

Furthermore, the astounding number of anecdotal evidence

In the past, many medical practitioners resorted

exploring the harmful effects that societal rejection and

to highly dangerous and extreme measures such as

attempts to change one’s gender or sexual orientation can

institutionalisation, castration, and electroconvulsive

have on an individuals mental and physical health speaks

shock therapy in an attempt to actively ‘cure’ their

for itself.

patients of their homosexuality or gender identity. In contemporary society, many active ‘conversion therapists’

However, the U.S. is finally making moves to rid the

utilise techniques which include an array of behavioural,

nation of this highly condemned medical practice. The US

cognitive, and psychoanalytic practices which attempt to

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

reduce an individual’s same-sex attraction or completely

have released a 76-page report calling for the nation-

reverse an individuals gender identity. Although these

wide ban of LGBTQ+ conversion therapy, and the move

contemporary examples of conversion therapy are less-

is even being supported by the Obama Administration.

extreme by comparison to their historical counterparts,

Although momentous

they are no-less warranted or harmful. These treatments

world of conversion therapy practices, the implementation

are equally devoid of scientific validity and pose

of these bans are still far from concrete in America, and

serious risks to the health of those subjected to

around the world.

34 /

strides have been made to rid the

FEATURES

Chelsey’s corner

cool

for

cool

rainbow

kids:

stardew

valley

WORDS / Chelsey Sanderson

games

gargantuan but fleetingly popular Facebook game of half-a-decade-or-so ago Farmville, but without requesting

to be able to see concrete results

Video games are like no other

you hound your friends for more coins

when I tidied my farm or cultivated a

medium in being able to fulfil a

or demanding microtransactions. You

new crop, something too uncommon in

participant’s fantasies, whether

plant crops, wait for them to grow,

our world of desk jobs and constant

it be the lofty goals of rescuing

harvest them, sell them, rinse and

pressure to be forever ‘on the job’

hapless royalty or defending the

repeat. Stardew Valley takes further

due to mobile phones, email and

world from demonic/zombie/alien/

inspiration from Japanese RPGs with

social networks.

machine /fascist invaders, games give

a simplistic combat system and a

the individual a sense of power and

collectible element reminiscent of

From a queer standpoint, the game

accomplishment unattainable in our

Nintendo’s Animal Crossing series.

doesn’t fare too badly. Although the

boring old lives in meatspace.

It also contains more activities

character creation screen only allows

for the player, including, fishing,

binary gender options, aesthetic

For millennials, facing a broken

gem and shell collecting, animal

options are not limited by that

housing market and daunting rates

husbandry, annual festivals and a

choice, so if a blouse and beard

of youth unemployment, these most

system where you can court characters

combo is your jam, you can rock it.

unreachable goals can be as simple

and start a family.

Despite this, the game will throw

as keeping a steady job or owning

gendered language at you. In terms of

a home. This may explain the rise

Indeed, while all of these features

the relationship system, you can woo

of niche German simulation titles

have appeared in some form or another

and marry characters of any gender

such as Street Sweeper Simulator or

in the various games mentioned

(although, again only binary) which

the perennial success of Maxis’ The

above, Stardew Valley rises above

is also a nice touch and helped me to

Sims series, where I have personally

through its tight and tidy design and

live out my previously dormant woman

spent hours climbing the corporate

control system, and its undeniable

on woman agricultural fantasies.

ladder of make-believe capitalism

charm. Everything from the game’s

and dutifully attending to virtual

hand crafted pixel graphics to the

All in all, I can wholeheartedly

relationships (often to the detriment

dialogue make the world feel alive

recommend Stardew Valley. For such

of real life obligations).

and just plain lovely.

a low buy-in price of $15 on Steam,

Enter Stardew Valley, the one

I began playing Stardew Valley at a

your hard earned dollar and its retro

man labour of love by developer

low time in my life, where mental

graphic aesthetic means it will work

Eric Barone under the pseudonym

illness knocked me on my bum to the

on almost any relatively current

ConcernedApe. Stardew Valley is

point where I struggled to complete

Windows computer. Mac and Linux ports

often describing as a ‘country-

everyday tasks. Being able to boot

are currently in the works. If you

life simulator’. It bears striking

up the game and see tangible (though

need to get away from the drudgery

similarties to the popular Japanese

virtual) outcomes as a reward for

of this big old homophobic and

farming series Harvest Moon. To those

my effort helped me to gain my

transphobic world and dive into the

less entrenched in gaming culture,

motivation back once more. It felt

simple life, Stardew Valley is the

it is something akin to Zynga’s

empowering to complete something,

best pastoral escape money can buy.

it provides incredible play time for

/ 35

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

“it’s go

just

period

pain.

home.”

why

don’t

issues

we

take

women’s

seriously?

WORDS / Zoe Simmons

fallopian tubes, cervix, vulva, vagina and bladder.

@ItBeginsWithZ

Symptoms of endometriosis include severe pain during ovulation, sexual intercourse and going to the toilet, as well as bowel disturbances and infertility.

One in ten women — that’s how many will be affected by the insidious disease that is endometriosis. So, with an

While 95% of women will experience period pain in their

issue so common, why don’t we hear about it?

life, 50% will have pain which is not easily controlled by physical or medical measures—such as a shower, bath,

Jessica Tomkins is twenty years old, and she’s been

hot water bottle, exercise or medication. The medical

in constant pain since 2012. Since the birth of her

director of Endometriosis Australia Jason Abbott said

two children—a three-year-old son and a six-month-old

women who are experiencing any of the above should seek a

daughter—she’s seen eight different doctors; six of whom

medical opinion.

completely dismissed her pain, despite the fact that it was increasing at an alarming rate.

“Many women put up with severe pain for too long,” he wrote in an article on Endometriosis Australia’s blog.

“Every single time, it was worse and worse and worse and worse.”

Seventy-five per cent of women who experience severe pain and 40% of women with fertility issues will have

“The pain is so intense. I can’t quite put into words how

endometriosis. Furthermore, 80% of cases will see the

severe it is.”

disease progress. And worst of all: there is no cure.

Ms Tomkins said her first six doctors responded with:

Of course, there are ways to manage endometriosis,

“Oh, take some Panadol and [get] a hot water bottle. It’s

including varying forms of pain relief, hormonal therapy—

just period pain. Go home.”

such as the oral contraceptive pill—as well as various surgeries to reduce the symptoms of endometriosis, repair

It wasn’t until her 7th doctor—who also happened to be a

damage, or remove offending areas.

woman—that endometriosis was suggested.

Ms Tomkins has tried various forms of pain relief and Endometriosis is an insidious condition where tissue that

hormonal therapy to no anvil, and has often reacted

normally lines the uterus is found in other parts of the

badly to medications. She’s currently on 3 different

body, most commonly areas such as the pelvis, ovaries,

types of pain medication, though she desperately longs

36 /

FEATURES

Image via Endo Facts.

for surgical intervention—in particular, a hysterectomy.

While this has no guarantee of improving her pain levels, Ms Tomkins is willing to try anything.

“When it gets extreme, I have two choices: I can be in complete agony, or I can take the pain medication which puts me in mild agony, and sends me to sleep,” she said. idea what period pain is like?” she said.

Despite having spoken to four different doctors about her desires, she’s never gotten very far.

“I think the issue is that the gynaecologist is thinking he will be caught out down the track when the woman

“Every time I take it to a doctor, it’s just sort of

regrets her decision.”

laughed out the window,” she said.

Dr Lavender has experienced a similar scenario in the “It kind of feels like it doesn’t matter so much that

past, when a patient of hers in the UK had a hysterectomy

you’re a human being or a person. It’s all about your

for endometriosis in her late 20s. According to Dr

potential for creating more offspring.”

Lavender, the woman involved did not regret her decision, and actually lived a far more active and fulfilling life

Ms Tomkins said she definitely does not want any more

afterwards.

biological children—particularly with the stress pregnancy puts on her body. She said she already can’t

Ms Tomkins said she has not changed her mind at all in

reliably meet the needs of her existing children because

the four years she’s been suffering from endometriosis.

she can’t predict when the pain will strike.

She will continue to seek out a doctor who will help— someone who places her ability to live a pain-free (or

“Medical professionals are treating me as though my

at least less pain than before) where she can ably care

quality of life doesn’t matter, just my ability to create

for her current children over her ability to potentially

more life,” she said.

reproduce.

Dr Alison Lavender is sympathetic to Ms Tomkins’s plight.

Her final words? Speak out, and spread the word. Get a second opinion. Ask questions, and be adamant. Your

“Most gynaecologists are men, so how could they have any

period is not supposed to be debilitating painful.

/ 37

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

the hidden epidemic

The video ends with Ashley

away, Luke sat in the driver’s seat

proclaiming ‘I am not a disgrace’,

of his parked car and made a phone

to which a male family member

call that would change the course of

Millions of people around the world

replies, now breathless from rage,

his life.

curiously clicked on a link in 2014

‘Unfortunately, I have to say, that

to a video titled ‘How Not to React

you are’.

WORDS / Kurtis Hughes

A quiet child, Luke was the product of a fortunate Sydney upbringing;

When Your Child Tells You That He’s Although a single incident, with the

a father who worked as a Lawyer,

family’s geographic location and

a private school education, a car

Commencing in darkness and inaudible

religious world view playing a major

on his 16th birthday, and all the

muffles, the video soon places the

role in the events that transpired,

advantages that an upper-middle class

audience in the lounge room of Daniel

the overarching themes of rejection

lifestyle can provide- accompanied

Ashley Pierce. The 20-year-old from

and assault are unfortunately a

by all the expectations attendant to

Georgia, who had just returned home

reality for many LGBTQ+ teens.

that image.

a family-organised intervention for

While ‘coming-out’ stories are in

Throughout his life, Luke, who

his sexuality.

many cases captivating anecdotes

has been renamed to protect his

that reveal the evolving nature of

identity, followed his parents’

The next 5 minutes of the video are

societal acceptance toward the LGBTQ+

example, understanding implicitly

extensively laced with the words

community, they are not always filled

that the structure and discipline

‘queer’ and ‘choice’, which are

with the love that we hope to hear,

of his family was emblematic of the

projected as invectives toward the

and are in a lot of cases, accounts

neighbourhood in which he lived, and

noticeably upset 20-year-old. The

of abandonment and abuse.

his family’s Christian upbringing.

Gay’.

from work, inadvertently stepped into

“During year ten, my parents

verbal slurs are soon joined by the deafening cries of pain and shock as

Whilst the rest of the students at

started to think it was weird that

Ashley is repeatedly struck by one of

the University of Sydney were either

I had never had a girlfriend,” he

his family members.

hunkering down for a night of exam

says, “and so I got one. It was a

preparation, or partying the night

completely rational and detached

38 /

FEATURES

relationship, but the image and

hate me after I say this,” he pleaded

eventually come around, despite what

security was there.”

when, alarmed to be receiving a call

they considered to be an inherent

in the middle of the night, his mum

flaw in their son’s existence.

It took the freedom, and distance

picked up the phone.

from home that university offered,

A day later, Luke soon received a

in order for Luke to finally accept

“Oh my god you got someone pregnant,”

call from his brother. “He said,

who he was. “I grew up knowing that a

was his mothers first response,

‘mum and dad don’t want to talk

lot of what I felt was different to

before running through a litany

to you, but I’m supposed to tell

my friends and family. But when you

of parental fears. Suddenly, his

you what’s going to happen,’” Luke

grow up in the household that I did,

mother’s silence matched his own

recalls. The following conversation

you don’t really know that gay is an

over the phone as she murmured in

left Luke speechless, as he was told

option,” he says. His daily commutes

disbelief “oh my god, are you gay?”.

that his bank account and car would

into the heart of the city presented

be recalled, and his phone would be

itself as a gateway into an alternate

“Yeah,” Luke shakily said, the word

reality. A reality where Luke was

almost not making it past his teeth.

able to explore his sexuality, and

cancelled.

From that moment, Luke realised that

finally confront the feelings that he

After what seemed like an eternity to

he was entirely on his own. He had

had been grappling with his entire

Luke, she finally responded. “I don’t

no home, no money and no family that

life.

know what I did wrong to raise a fag

could or would help him- and that

child,” she said before hanging up.

this was the unfortunate price that

“However, I was certain that someone

he had to pay for being gay.

would post something to Facebook,

No sooner had the line ran dead, had

either inadvertently or maliciously,”

Luke started sobbing uncontrollably

Luke’s story may be distinctive

he says.

into the backs of his hands placed

in its details, but across

firmly on the driver’s wheel.

Australia, it is far from unique.

So while Luke hoped for the best, he

Regardless of the events that

A research article by Minus18,

knew the call he was making had the

transpired that night, Luke convinced

Australia’s largest LGBT-run support

potential to not end well. “You can’t

himself that his parents would

organisation, empirically confirmed

/ 39

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

what common sense would imply to

are quite clearly life and death,”

household that had the luxuries of

be true: highly religious parents

Hubbard asserts. “They are seven

a middle class upbringing were far

are significantly more likely than

times more likely than their straight

less prepared for the experiences

non-religious parents to reject

counterparts to be the victims of a

they would encounter on the street.

their child for being gay. This

crime, often one that can be regarded

It is this lack of preparation which

is a finding that social-service

as especially brutal, even in crime

ultimately leads to these children

workers believe sheds light on

standards.”

involving themselves with illegal

the question of why LGBTQ+ youth

activities in the name of survival,

equate to about 5% of the overall

Many studies conducted by the Human

such as drug taking, theft and

youth population, but represent a

Rights Campaign reveal that homeless

prostitution.

staggering 43% of homeless youth.

LGBT children are three times more

Meanwhile, as societal advances

likely to reluctantly engage in

A survey conducted by Beyond Blue

have resulted in queer identities

survival sex- for which shelter is

revealed that approximately one in

becoming less-stigmatised, allowing

the payment more often than money.

five LGBT youth is unable to secure

for increased visibility of the

short-term leases, and nearly 16% are

LGBTQ+ community- and as the internet

“These children are not equipped

unable to gain assistance with regard

allows for children to extend beyond

to survive in these environments;

to finding long-term accommodation-

their circumscribed social circles

mentally, emotionally and

figures that are almost double

for support and answers- the average

physically,” Hubbard states. “It

of their non-LGBT peers, despite

coming out age has dropped from mid-

sounds oddly paradoxical, but the

their disproportionate share of the

20’s in the 1990’s to 16. Ultimately,

kid who has experienced a very

homeless-youth population.

this means that more children are

rough upbringing, and who has been

publically accepting themselves

abused and neglected in their family

“The main problem that LGBT youth

whilst they are still financially

environment, is exceedingly more

experience on the streets is with

reliant on their parents. According

prepared for the trauma that they

discrimination, and ironically,

to clinical nurse consultant with

will experience on the streets, in

rejection,” Luke states. In Sydney,

Beyond Blue, Sarah Hubbard, the

this perverse way.”

a city with close to 3000 homeless

subsequent flood of children kicked

youth, there are only 400 beds a

out of their homes due to familial

A study conducted by the Equity

night available, and less than a

rejection is a ‘hidden epidemic’.

Project revealed that those children

third of those are occupied by LGBT

“For homeless LGBT kids, the stakes

who had been brought up in a

youth.

40 /

FEATURES

“These

children

equipped in

these

survive

emotionally physically.”

Hubbard

“It could be a result of

not

environments;

mentally, and

to

are

states.

discrimination, but in most cases, this highly disproportionate number is a result of fear derived from involving themselves in an environment where they feel they are unwanted or at risk,” Hubbard believes. With over 60% of homeless centers being religiously affiliated, and only one active LGBT-run homeless center in the entire city, homeless LGBT youth are faced with an environment that is far less-secular than one would anticipate.

Luke doubts that he’ll ever speak to his family again. Though he still finds it hard to think of holidays without them, of untold family stories, and the jarring lack of continuity between his existence, now and then. “The matter of the fact is that I spent the last 2 years suffering because of that one

“I’ll never look at a bed in the same

sentence I said.” Even though Luke

way; I’ll never look at food in the same

is living in an apartment with three

way,” he says. “Sometimes, I’ll sit

other people, with food in the fridge

at a table with my friends and think,

every night, poverty and abandonment

‘None of these people have any idea of

are unfortunately scars that he will

anything that I’ve been through, and

carry for the rest of his life.

they fortunately never will.’”

/ 41

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

badass

women

of

OITNB

WORDS / Aisha Sini

Orange is the New Black has probably one of the most diverse casts in televisions, from sexual orientations, religion and nationality; no two female characters are the same. Some are bold. Some are rude. Some you love to hate, but it’s refreshing to see such a dynamic group of women together on screen. Why is this important?

Well, television is one of the ways

Sophia Bursett

that helps us understand mainstream

Sophia is a trans woman of colour

issues. This show portrays issues for

who struggles to be treated equally

every group, and helps us understand

by fellow inmates and correctional

a little from their perspective.

officers. Sophia’s narrative shows the fight many trans women face to be

Another amazing thing about the show

recognized as a woman, often being

is that it doesn’t categorize: no-one

taunted as “not a real woman” and

is ever just the “token black” or

“a dude in a dress”. It’s important

“the gay friend” or “the old one”.

to have strong, unbreakable trans

Gloria Mendoza

The representation and celebration

characters like Sophia, seeing as

Gloria is a mother hen to many of

of all the different ways to be

for the most part television treats

her friends and is often considered

a woman is incredible. Classism,

them as a joke. Sophia’s backstory is

the leader of what the inmates

education, homophobia, transphobia,

just as interesting as any others,

call “Spanish Harlem”. She isn’t

racism, religion, age, weight,

she loves her family just as much,

perfect, she has a quick temper and

attractiveness, femininity are all

and the bonds she forms in prison are

was regrettably involved in the

set aside and characters are created

just as heartwarming and complex.

transphobia Sophia faces. Gloria’s

to represent and celebrate the

Additionally, her wife, Crystal,

history shows she was a protective

diversity of women everywhere. From

tirelessly fights to remove Sophia

mother who was doing it tough and

all four seasons (yes, that does mean

from cruel solitary confinement which

struggling to leave an abusive

spoilers), here’s a rundown on some

is “for her own protection”, showing

relationship. She’s also a Catholic

of our favourite characters and why

the courage, strength, love and

whose strong faith sees her through

they’re so important.

devotion of women.

her time in prison.

42 /

FEATURES

(note: we would NEVER endorse transphobia)

SPOILER ALERT Poussey also serves a much more important role in the show, in her death. Poussey dies in prison at the hands of a white law enforcement Poussey Washington

officer. Doesn’t that sound familiar?

Finishing on a personal favourite

The events following her death

of mine, Poussey Washington, as

reference the numerous tragic murders

a lesbian woman of colour in an

people of colour have suffered, and

interracial relationship, plays

the widely criticized reactions of

an important role in the series.

law enforcement officers. In her

Poussey’s history reveals she comes

death by suffocation, Poussey’s

from an army family, speaks three

heartbreaking final words are “I

“Red” Reznikov

languages, and was incredibly close

can’t breathe”, the same last words

Big, bad Red is the alpha of all

to her mother. This is a far cry from

Eric Garner spoke. In Mr. Caputo’s

the inmates. She’s fearless, she

the mistaken assumption made by Soso

speech to the public, he references

commands respect and she’s also a

that her mother was a “crack whore”

Poussey as “the inmate”, to which

truly kind person. Goals, much? Red

and that Poussey grew up in the

Taystee screams “say her name!”,

is a surrogate mother to a lot of the

ghetto. It’s deeply important that

in reference to the death of Sandra

girls, and many of them trust her

the show has a wide representation of

Bland and the hashtag #SayHerName

to keep secrets, protect them and

women of colour because literally,

which followed her death in police

stand up to the guards. She won’t

that’s exactly how it is in real

custody. In dying in such a violent,

be bossed around by any man, least

life. Often people of colour in pop

preventable manner, unarmed and

of all Healy, and she often shows

culture face the stereotype that

harmless, Poussey Washington brought

her sensitive, forgiving side. In

they come from broken homes, have

the Black Lives Matter movement into

many ways, Red displays many of the

faced drug addiction, poverty and

our living room and made it personal.

things woman are condemned to be:

crime. And yes, some do. And they’re

Because Poussey was such a favourite,

she’s stubborn, strong, intelligent,

important too, because people of

we felt we knew her and regarded her

maternal, realistic, sensitive.

colour shouldn’t have to be middle

one of our own friends. For viewers,

She’s a complicated, character with

class to be more “palatable”- they

it’s no longer a stranger dying on

strong emotions who refuses to dilute

should be allowed to exist in as many

the TV, we’re all grieving for our

herself to be more appetizing to men.

different ways as there are people.

friend and now the issue is personal.

/ 43

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

my

two

WORDS / Anonymous

birthdays

done—and, I admit, halfway

I assumed that what I felt

I wouldn’t have become me

out of my mind with fear of

was normal, that everyone

at all. I would be someone

I have two birthdays, which

the whole world—she said,

must have felt the same

else and that is too high a

I’ve heard is one more

“So… I suppose I start

way about themselves as I

cost—even for being able to

than the usual amount of

saying ‘he’ now?”

felt about me—a miserable

skip second puberty, which

self-hating revulsion,

is regrettably similar in

birthdays, unless you’re the Queen. (I’m not her, in

That’s how life begins. For

the unrelenting emotional

teenager-ish awkwardness

case you were wondering).

me, it started at eighteen.

parallel to a transplant

to first puberty with the

rejection. I had never

grudging consolation of it

My first birthday is the typical one: on this day in

Some of you might think

known anything else—and

at least being the right

history, I was born. The

that’s a late start.

besides, it seemed to me

one this time around.

second birthday, though,

In some ways, you’d be

that teenage girls were

is in my mind something

right. I don’t care to

expected to be unhappy with

Perhaps it will seem

equally as significant

reminisce much about what

their bodies. No-one ever

strange for you to imagine,

as that: on this day in

living was like before my

suggested that one of the

knowing the challenges that

history, I started to truly

second birthday, but I

possible causes of that

life—or, rather, certain

live.

can tell you I wouldn’t

unhappiness was not being a

people in life—can present

wish it on anyone. While

girl at all.

those who are different,

You see, it was on my

all around me many of my

second birthday—my

peers got on with growing

[In the end, thankfully,

see myself as fortunate.

rebirthday, if you like—

up, I focused on just

I figured that part out

Oftentimes, more fortunate

that I told my mum that

getting that far. I would

myself. But if you were to

than people who haven’t

I was a boy. Parents and

flinch away from mirrors

ask me now “if you could

lived lives similar to

doctors often like to think

and cameras. I would get

have been born differently,

mine. I have had the rare

they’re good at knowing

angry and hurt by well-

would you choose that?”

chance to live again; I

these things from the

intentioned compliments

I would say no. I have

see the world through

start, but even the best

about my appearance and not

become the person I am—the

different eyes and from a

of us have to be wrong

understand why.

person I’ve learned to love

vantage point of wonder and

and value—because of the

gratitude.

sometimes. My mum listened

but in a certain light, I

to what I had to say, that

I’m sad to say, for a long

experiences I have lasted

starry cold night next to

time I didn’t realise

through, and if I were

To me, every day is a

the ocean, and when I was

there was anything wrong.

born more expectedly male,

miracle. Every day is a day

46 /

FEATURES

I nearly never had. Even

most radical and life-

We are what we have now.

on the worst days, when

changing things you can do

And I believe we must try

everything is going wrong,

is accept yourself for who

to learn to love ourselves

I have in my chest the warm

you are and how you are.

and each other, because

and thrumming knowledge

Give yourself permission

that is what matters.

that it’s not that bad and

to live as yourself. Make

I can get through it. (I

changes if you must, but do

Life begins when you live

have, after all, survived

it out of love and care.

as you. Life begins when

all days I’ve met so far).

others’ love lets you.

I see today as a gift. I

In the scheme of the

know that now is the most

universe, we are each

My story is not a sad

precious time we will ever

infinitesimal, and our

story. Like some the

have. Tomorrow is another

society’s arbitrary

best stories—the boy in

day and things can get

obsessions with attaining

the cupboard under the

better. I know it because

perfection, with rigid

stairs, the lady with the

I have lived it firsthand,

identity control, with

glass slippers—it starts

and that is what I want to

punishing us for daring to

in tragedy and ends in

tell you.

have bodies—whether they’re

triumph. I live in hope

too brown, too different,

that in the future children

These days my happiness

not big enough, too big,

will not have to start in

is so enormous I can

too ugly, too crooked,

tragedy and fight their way

barely contain it inside

too scarred, too old, any

every step to a happy-ever-

me. I have found peace

kind of body, really, who

after as adults, simply to

with myself in a way that

among us hasn’t felt good

live in this world. But

perhaps some people never

enough?—is even smaller

until that time, I am proud

will, because they never

still, and less physical

of them and I have faith

realise they need to—they

than dust.

in them to stay strong and

Carpe diem. Your life is

keep going. It is possible.

already extraordinary.

go through life, quietly hurting from the fickle

In the scheme of each

The world is changing. We

opinions of societal

of our lives, we are

are changing it. We are

expectations, and never

everything we will ever

changing us.

realise that one of the

have. We are our universe.

Live on.

978

/ 47

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

Orange

is

addressed

the

New

something

important,

and

talk

it.

about

Black

we

really

need

to

WORDS / Zoe Simmons @ItBeginsWithZ what did they do to provoke it? What were they wearing?

Were they drinking? Had they slept together before? Were Why are we so afraid to call it rape?

they in love? Where they in a relationship? Why didn’t they yell for help? People voice these questions as if

Rape culture is very real and very dangerous—but Orange

any of these factors negate a heinous crime. Newsflash:

is the New Black isn’t afraid to tackle it. In the latest

it doesn’t.

season of the hit Netflix series, we see conceptions of rape addressed—and reformed—through the characterisation

One in six women and 1 in 33 men will be raped within

of inmate Tiffany Doggett.

their lifetimes. One in two transgender persons will be sexually assaulted, as well as 44% of lesbian women, 26%

Doggett was raped last season by a commanding officer

of gay men, and 61% of bisexual women and 37% of bisexual

at Litchfield Penitentiary—a man who was supposed to

men. This is a major problem—yet instead of tackling

be responsible for her safety. Instead, Officer Charlie

these issues, we’re too focussed on blaming the victim.

Coates took advantage of her and raped her: but it wasn’t how we usually see rape represented on screens.

As a woman, I’m afraid to walk home alone at night—even

Doggett wasn’t screaming. She wasn’t frantically trying

though my bus stop is only 500m away. As a woman, I am

to beat him off. But we could see from her face that she

afraid when a group of men walk towards me. As a woman, I

desperately didn’t want to be there.

make sure I’m not too drunk to keep my wits about me. I

It doesn’t matter

if she didn’t fight tooth and nail to stop him—or even if

make sure my dress isn’t too short. I make sure I don’t

she didn’t tell him: it is still rape.

lead anyone on—and even then, I’m not safe.

This season, Doggett confronts Coates, making sure he’s

Doggett was raped in a prison environment, which has

not raping anyone else. But here’s the kicker: he didn’t

a duty of care to protect her.Our actions do not give

even know he’d raped her. “But I love you,” he insists.

another person permission to so much as touch us. Even

“It’s different.”

if I walked down the street naked, I’m still not “asking for it”—because my body is mine, and every human being

“But it didn’t feel any different,” Doggett responds.

deserves that right. But some people still don’t seem to get the concept of “no”.

It didn’t feel any different because it isn’t—rape is the unwanted penetration of oral, vaginal or anal cavities.

Maybe you loved them. Maybe you knew they were horny, so

So, why are we so afraid to call it that? We live in a

you just let them do it. Maybe you did try to stop it,

society where we’re so focussed on blaming the victim:

but gave in because it was easier than fighting. Maybe

48 /

FEATURES

“Rape &

we

need

is to

an stop

unforgivable sugar

crime—

coating

it.”

there were tears in your eyes, as you stare at the wall, wishing you were anywhere else. Maybe you cried when it was over and they were asleep or gone. Maybe they did love you. But then, maybe they didn’t. Maybe it was a cruel and vicious crime—and actions or intentions don’t change that.

As women, we’re so programmed to feel like we have to please our partners—even if we don’t want to. But love is not an excuse for rape: nothing is. And this line of thinking, this notion of “oh, you can’t call it rape after it happened” is absolute bullshit, and a massive cultural problem. Maybe you were too scared to speak up—maybe you’re too afraid to confront in your own mind what it was, and only realise what it was later. It is “not making it up” to get someone in trouble—because only one in six rapes are reported, and only 17% of rapes are actually convicted.

Rape affects every facet of your life. It restricts your sexuality.

It restricts your chance at future

relationships. You lay awake, crying and reliving those moments. You flinch at every rape joke, or mention of sexual assault.

This is not okay.

But we live in a society that would rather blame the victim than prosecute the victim. But it is not the victim’s fault—it’s the rapist’s fault.

Rape is an unforgivable crime—and we need to stop sugar coating it.

/ 49

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

women in stem

WORDS / Sophie Green

un-intentionally but unfortunately

as STEM workforces to stay in STEM

a reflection of the STEM workforce.

and to emphasise their role in the

Even by my own parents, who, upon

workforce, as part of the national

STEM, which stands for Science,

my telling them I wanted to pursue

innovation and science agenda. Even

Technology, Engineering and Maths, is

a career in science, remarked,

the university is encouraging women

historically a largely male dominated

“well, there’s a lot of boys in

in the STEM faculty, through the

sector. In 2011, 28% of the STEM-

science, maybe you’ll finally get

affiliation with the society Women in

qualified Australian workforce was

a boyfriend.” We laughed, but the

STEM (or WiSTEM) which is a society

female, with a staggering 14% of

reality of it is true, females are

aimed at aiding women and men in STEM

females in engineering and related

typically under-represented in the

in networking with other students

technologies. Factors that influence

STEM sector.However, this stereotype

as well as with professionals in

this may include: encouragement from

is slowly changing. Universities

the workplace. While there is a

parents and teachers as well as

are seeing more females in STEM-

considerable effort being made to

school curriculum content.

related courses, such as sciences and

increase female inclusion in the

maths. The government has invested

workforce, attitudes within the

This male-dominated stereotype is

$13 million over the next five years

workforce also need to be addressed,

perpetuated even in everyday life,

in order to encourage women as well

as well as the use of mentors to

50 /

FEATURES

“science, technology, engineering &

maths”

encourage women into STEM-related fields, and there is still much to do to encourage female inclusion.

As a female in the STEM sector, in my particular workplace within the science field, the implementation of the government’s national innovation and science agenda is evident. I’ve never experienced a more welcoming and friendly environment where learning of all genders, ethnicity

more females into the STEM field it

and sexuality is encouraged, it

not only encourages diversity but

would be wonderful to see this style

also encourages integration of new

of working implemented within all

ideas and different ways of thinking

areas of STEM to overcome the gender

into the industry, and I think we can

barrier and encourage more females

all benefit from this in some way or

into the STEM field. By encouraging

another.

/ 51

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

Queerticle Why

is

thinking: it

wrong

LGBTQIA+ And

all

WORDS / Matthew Latham

kill

characters?

what’s

of

to

the

this

cause death?

at all academically acceptable summary. 160 to 29. That is, according to AutoStraddle, the number of Lesbian or Bisexual female characters who finish their story

“When it’s a zombie apocalypse, I don’t think your

with death compared to those who finish it with a happy

gender or sexuality really matter. Anyone could die, and

ending. Just to be extra clear, that’s 160 examples of

sometimes that’s going to be a gay character”. That was

lesbian or bisexual representation that ended in death

the sentiment expressed by a close friend of mine when I

compared to the 29 that ended happily. To add a blood

told them about how I was writing a piece on the death

red cherry on top, that happy ending number is counting

of LGBTQIA+ characters in television. It came after I

couples as two separate happy endings. If you’re starting

had asked them about the death of Denise, one of the few

to see why the Queer community is frustrated about these

lesbian characters on The Walking Dead. After probing

deaths, welcome to the club. If you’re not, sit down and

some more of my friends, I’d heard similar recreations of

let my poorly structured history lesson give you a little

this exact phrase over and over again; “Anyone can die.”

more insight.

It seemed to be a logical conclusion for them.

Once upon a time stories didn’t have to include people For me, though, the death of Denise was frustratingly

of different sexualities. People were able to go about

predictable. When asked about Denise’s death, my straight

their lives pretending that gay, lesbian and bisexual

friends were quick to announce how sad the death was. My

people didn’t exist. Eventually though, people were

LGBTQIA+ friends, on the other hand, tended to talk about

forced to accept that gay, lesbian and bisexual people

how frustrating the death was, not only in the context

were in fact very real, tangible beings capable of

of the show but also in regards to the wider context of

complex feelings and emotions. Unfortunately, the people

Queer representation. So, why do the Queer community find

in charge of books and reading material at the time were

it so frustrating every time a LGBTQIA+ character dies?

straight and were therefore able to demand that any inclusion of gay, lesbian and bisexual characters must

Killing LGBTQIA+ characters has a history. A long

showcase their relationships without any of these complex

history. A history that I am neither qualified nor have

feelings or realistic interpretations and instead must

the time to summarise. So, here’s my extra short, not

always showcase them in a negative light. Thus was born

52 /

FEATURES

the trope known as “Bury your Gays”, a way for writers

stuff? Because aren’t those deaths helping the Queer

to include LGB representation in their stories but still

community, by showing how much persecution Queer people

portray them as terrible people. Have a gay relationship

face and stuff?”

in your story? Have one of them be killed in a tragic death before they consummate their relationship. Have

Good argument, compatriot. However the issue here is, who

a Lesbian gal in your story? Better have her killed

solves the crime of the Queer person’s death? Is it a

before the opening credits roll, ala Watchmen. Moving on

team of crack Queer detectives? A freelance Queer P.I.?

40 years and Lesbian ladies seem to get it pretty bad,

Or, is it a team of straight people? I can promise you,

particularly in the case of Denise and Lexa from The

it’s almost always a team of straight people, and that’s

100. Both ladies are on the verge of grabbing that happy

the issue.

ending that only 29 of their predecessors managed to hold onto and BAM! Arrow through the eye. An ending that

“Sure, you’re right,” I say making a concession, allowing

is not only unsatisfying but also the end of a really

you to ease into a feeling of comfortability before I

positive queer role model on television. Now are you

demolish your position in this argument. “But now isn’t

starting to see why so many Queer people are frustrated?

there no more Queer people in the show? And surely if we

If not, hypothetical opponent, I bet one of two counter

were being true to real life there would be a heap more

arguments are beginning to formulate in your mind. Well

Queer representation anyway?”

then, in this hypothetical game of word chess you have fallen right into my trap because trust me, both of those

“Okay…” you respond as you start to form a new argument

arguments are bullshit.

“well, what about period based pieces? Where heaps of Queer people died because of serious persecution? Is that

Why the ‘Truth in Television’ argument is bullshit.

wrong?”The condescending tone wasn’t really necessary I

When I first brought up this topic with a friend, I

Lots of Queer people were killed in those times. But

brought up the statistic listed above about deaths to

you know what else? Lots of Queer people survived and

happy endings. My friends response was “Does that include

led very interesting and intriguing lives perfect for

Gay characters killed in like, Law and Order: SVU and

the film narrative medium. Why aren’t those stories

don’t think, imaginary opponent. But yes, you’re right.

/ 53

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

heard? Why aren’t they turned into films? This is really

you’re going to say, yes there are other Queer characters

the heart of the problem. No-one is really mad because

in those shows, but not any with the same major appeal or

Queer people are being killed on television. We, as a

role within the plot and story as those characters. If

community, expect Queer people to be killed from time

a straight character dies on one of these TV shows it’s

to time. We just don’t really appreciate always being

usually okay, because there are plenty of other straight

killed. Queer representation is equivalent to Sean Bean

characters ready to fill in for them. Even if we imagine

representation. We’re pretty sure Sean Bean can play a

some crazy world where every single straight character

character that doesn’t die at the end and we would be

from Game of Thrones was suddenly killed off, a straight

happy to see that, so why are there only a handful of

fan of TV could change to pretty much any other TV show

movies where that happens? Don’t get me wrong, Boromir’s

on Netflix and be certain there’s going to be some great

death isn’t not a really great and sad scene in the film,

straight representation for them to dig into. For the

but when he dies in every single film it gets not only

LGBTQIA+ community, we have to sigh and re-watch an old

tedious, but a little ridiculous. “oh wait!” you say “in

show we like.

these-“ let me just cut you off right there because I know where this is going and well…

If you’re finally starting to see why the LGBTQIA+ community is so mad, thank you. But what causes all this?

Why the ‘Anyone can Die’ argument is bullshit.

Sure at the start I’m sure it was just a good ol’ case of homophobia. But plenty of writers and directors these

“Valar morghulis” you say “in this crazy fantasy world

days seem to genuinely care and want Queer representation

anyone could be killed! Regardless of their sex and

in their TV shows, so why all the deaths? Is it just a

gender”. Finally, equality. Not really though. In shows

force of habit? Well I have idea as to why writers are so

like Orange is the New Black or The L Word where a large

quick to kill off LGBTQIA+ characters.

number of the cast is Queer, this argument is fine. No worries. But in shows like Game of Thrones, or literally any other TV show, where Queer characters are super rare, this is frustrating.

My idea as to why writers are so quick to kill off LGBTQIA+ characters.

No, it’s not homophobia. It’s closely related though.

Like in The 100 or The Walking Dead the issue is that

See, in cinema there’s a trope known as “Not too Gay”,

once this Queer character is killed off, that’s the end

that describes how LGB characters are, in modern cinema,

of Queer representation for that TV show. I know what

allowed screen time so long as they aren’t too gay. For

54 /

FEATURES

“Why? Well,

the

answer

to

that

is

homophobia.”

example, Modern Family is a great example of a fairly realistic gay couple. They fight, have complex emotions, struggle with bills and real human feelings and they don’t kiss for a full season. They aren’t even shown to have any sort of physical interaction with each other for quite a long time. Why? Well, the answer to that is homophobia.

But how is this related to Queer deaths? Well, if a writer is given a character that has restrictions on how they can be portrayed and how their relationships occur, it doesn’t take long before there’s really not too much development a writer can give this character.

They can really only take them so far before they’re just rehashing old storylines. So when it comes time for a tragic death, writers unconsciously jump to the character who they don’t think they can do much else with. Which is in this case, the Queer character. So how can we better this situation? How can we help? Well, it’s pretty simple: include more LGBTQIA+ characters or even better, have Queer writers write Queer characters. Queer people tend to understand Queer issues and therefore have a better chance of writing a not shit Queer character. I mean, I don’t think this won’t end homophobia but it will help a little bit. It’ll also make us Queer folk a little less frustrated when our favourite character dies.

Just a little bit though.

/ 55

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

think

of

WORDS / Kurtis Hughes

the

kids

problematised and criticised by those

years ago, the heart of the problem

of the public and government.

is still very much present. And it is the effects of these issues which

It was May 2004.

Headlines such as ‘Gay School for Tots

still dictate the existence of those

Row’

living in same-sex relationships and

and

‘Turning

Playschool

Thousands of children eagerly tuned

Gayschool’

in

watch

leading media outlets like the Herald

Playschool just as many had done since

Sun and The Age, making its way into

It is issues like this that Kelly and

its start in 1996. The screen faded

the hands of thousands. Many branded

Birgitta Osterberg know all too well.

seamlessly from the routine reading

the

of The Very Hungry Caterpillar to the

accusing

signature white windows of the show.

to

Delving

political

to

their

into

television

the

scene

to

beyond

the

plastered

episode

the

into

politically

the

ABC

indoctrinate and

of

children social

pages

of

families.

motivated, attempting with

the

discourses

Birgitta

would

would

consider

live

to

be

a

what

they

relatively

surrounding

the

ordinary life. However, Kelly, who is

with the image of a young girl and her

time. The pages designated for public

currently unemployed, and her partner

best friend.

letters were flooded with outrage over

Birgitta, who practices as a clinical

the apparent connection drawn between

Educational

politics and the children’s show, with

psychologist, are what you would call

the apparent ‘robbing of innocence’

the

placed firmly at the heart of their

And their son, Wyatt, who is 3 and

cries.

a half- years-old, is the only child

I’m

Brenna,

that’s

me

in

the

blue”, the little girl said.

“My mums are taking me and my friend

at

and

arched window, the audience was met

“Hi,

homosexuality

Living in the Blue Mountains, Kelly

Meryn to an amusement park. There are lots

of

different

rides

to

go

on.

Here’s the rollercoaster... “

‘Modern

this

situation

the

climate

of

was

unmistakably

revealed

intolerance prevalent

was

within

The

town

the

Glenbrook.

of

Glenbrook,

streets

and

with

its

immersive

placing

of the 21st century. However, although

café culture, seemed from face value

emphasis on the day’s activities, the

this matter seems like an isolated

like

dynamic of Brenna’s family was aptly

issue that started and ended over 11

start a family. All qualities noted,

56 /

scene

of

pre-school.

picturesque

the

Family’

that

Australian society at the beginning

of

Developmental

of a same-sex family at his current What

Although a fleeting statement, with dialogue

and

the

ideal

neighbourhood

to

FEATURES

it was not the first choice for the

“It

Osterbergs. “Lack of obvious diversity

personally in the community, and who

sex

was the main concern,” says Kelly,

don’t understand the dynamic of our

central argument made against marriage

explaining that the homogeneity among

family, that prove to be the issue,”

equality

the community with regard to cultural

Kelly states despairingly.

children born into these marriages will

is

the

people

we

don’t

know

backgrounds and family structures was initially worrying for the family.

starts.

Everyone’s

between people and the door, as the

with

any

of

our

neighbours.”

The

neighbours,

the

privilege

family

however, of

firsthand,

have

knowing

a

factor

the which

definitely impacts and dictates their interactions with same-sex families, Kelly believes. Living on the same street an

can

provide

immersive

neighbour’s

one

with

quite

experience

into

their

lives.

By

virtue

of

proximity, they are able to witness

is

that

role modelling, school yard bullying,

Kelly

“The

relationship

Australia

A

not limited to; inappropriate gender

vote,”

magnificent,” Kelly asserted. our

within

believes.

to

eyes constantly darting back and forth

makeup of our family has not impacted

Kelly

be disadvantaged. Reasons include, but

are

our

families,”

“We had gone to the local public school

neighbours

“However,

the public’s opinions towards same-

and poor emotional wellbeing.

to

“People may not agree with marriage

slow down tremendously. “The father

equality based on religious and moral

who was standing in front of us in

grounds, but the argument that it harms

the line to vote was obviously trying

children does not stack up against

to keep his son from being near us,”

current

Kelly stated. With face adjacent to

pour in,” Kate Tolley, clinical nurse

their own bodies, the father’s eyes

consultant at Youth Health Headspace

were evidently wandering at regular

states. “At least not developmentally

intervals

that is.”

progression

to

of

the

catch

line

seemed

glimpse

of

the

research

that

continues

to

family, Kelly recalls. “He told his son that the Liberal Party knew right

In research provided by Tolley, by

from wrong and would save this country

the Journal of Family and Marriage

from the left-wing nut-jobs who were

2010,

everything that was wrong with this

no

country...including homosexuals.”

that

children

were

disadvantaged,

their struggles, routines, and in most

it

revealed

large

that

there

discrepancies of

same-sex on

a

to

were show

couples range

of

cases, develop an image of the couple

“When public figures regard the debate

behavioural,

as human beings dissimilar in most

surrounding

it

and social outcomes. The research was

regards to themselves.

seems

by

conducted by American researchers who

to

be

same-sex linked

marriage, and

fuelled

educational,

emotional

/ 57

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

analysed and published results from a

attention by some students, teachers

meta-analysis of 33 studies comparing

and parents after they were notified

the wellbeing of children raised by

of

opposite-sex

Girls High School. While there are

have definitely improved since that

still mixed reports surrounding how

infamous Playschool episode in 2004.

many

Programs

coupes

with

children

raised by same-sex couples.

“What

studies

and

at

students

Burwood

formally

same-sex

parenting,

such

as

circumstances

the

are

regard to the screening, there was

to ensure schools are well equipped

affected by factors not within the

no shortage of outcry from religious

to

home

factors

groups, The Daily Telegraph and the

appropriately

external to the family dynamic such

general public. “This is trying to

surely have a direct impact on the

as school-yard bullying and prevalent

change children’s minds by promoting a

experiences of children with same-sex

discourses

gay lifestyle,” a local Presbyterian

parents.

environment,

couples

but

within

from

society,”

Tolley

states.

address

which

homophobia, implemented

seeks

have

been

and

will

minister had stated in regard to the documentary.

With

Australia,

Safe-Schools

coalition

same-sex

is

parents

screening

filed complaints to the school with

of

showing

planned

that

children

are

a

debates

surrounding

“Openly supporting the rights of same-

same-sex

sex couples is one of the best things

marriage at an all time high over the

“Given the documentary focuses on the

governments can do to support same-sex

past 5 years, it has come as no shock

concept of growing up, albeit in the

families and their children, and truly

that studies have shown that children

context of a same-sex family, it is a

improve the lives of these children”

who are within same-sex families are

wonder how it was not considered as

Tolley states.

emotionally, and at times socially,

relevant, or even morally pertinent

affected.

to every student irrespective of their

The years between 2004 and now have

by BMC Public Health have shown that

Multiple

cultural

proven to be profoundly crucial in

children

Kelly believes.

of

research

same-sex

studies

couples

often

or

religious

background,”

the

worry they will experience homophobic discrimination their

family

based

primarily

dynamic.

It

is

off

changing

of

public

perceptions

towards marriage equality, and more “We

decided

that

love

outweighed

importantly,

same-sex

families.

this

everything else. We have found that

Although leaps and bounds have been

anxiety which ultimately has immediate

because [Wyatt] is so certain that he

made with regard to the way the public

and lasting effects on the children’s

is loved, and we support his emotional,

and government treat and interact with

mental well-being Tolley believes.

social,

same-sex

intellectual

and

physical

families,

the

debate

that

uniqueness and growth, he will have

marriage equality will perpetuate the

The documentary Gayby Baby, and the

a

self-

harmful upbringing of children within

debates

screening

efficacy. Even if he does encounter

these families is fundamentally wrong

are an apt example of the negative

ignorant people and bullies, we hope

and deeply damaging. The message that

effects

discourses

that he will have the confidence and

these discussions, and the banning of

within society can have on children

skills to respond and to not let it

content such as Gayby Baby send to

of

impact how he ultimately feels about

these children is that their existence

himself,” says Kelly.

is inherently offensive and dangerous.

surrounding that

same-sex

its

particular families.

The

film,

directed by Maya Newell who herself is

a

child

of

a

same-sex

healthy

Although

the The

58 /

and

couple,

was intended to provide a voice for children

self-esteem

debates

and

tensions

are

If

only

the

government

and

public

of

same-sex

families.

still at an all-time high in Australia

weren’t so busy thinking about the

documentary

received

negative

with regard to marriage equality and

children.

FEATURES

from

good

action: an

7

intention ways

to

to

activate

ally

WORDS / Henness Penn 7 Ways to Activate an Ally This writing is submitted to The Tertangala with mixed feelings, [artially moved by grief over the worst

1. Personalise existing LGBT connections

mass shooting in U.S history that was motivated by

Personal relationships are the most powerful and direct

homophobia.. Forty-nine people should not have been

way of communicating support to equality. It was no

killed. Fifty more people should not have been injured,

coincidence that many UOW Ally Training participants were

and many more people should not have had to experience

motivated by LGBTIQ people they already know and wanting

such fear and trauma.

to know how they can support these loved ones.

Going from acquaintance to friendship with your LGBTIQ

May this writing offer not only condolences to the

classmates and colleagues is the first step of expressing

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer

care and love.

(LGBTIQ) victims and loved ones, but also encouragement to everyone to proactively foster inclusion for

2. Be open about being an ally

diversity. Let the broken hearts heal with the support of

Become a role model of inclusion by setting an example

the wider, even global community, particularly calling

to embrace diversity through behaviour. Having formed

upon non-LGBTIQ individuals to become champions for

friendships, conversations about personal lives come

equality, so that the future generations of LGBTIQ may

natural and smooth.

live freely and without suffering. The change in culture can begin in our immediate circles, be it workplaces and

Conversations about the weekend can be a convenient

schools, which links right to the first tip.

entrance, “I went to my best friend’s birthday party and

/ 59

TERTANGALA / ISSUE FOUR

care, amazing outcomes can happen. meet his boyfriend”/ “I took my best friend to this movie fundraiser for a LGBTIQ-friendly charity yesterday” /

5. Keep experience current and constant.

“What events are you going to during UOW Ally week?”.

Be in touch with current affairs and culture of the LGBTI community. Put in effort to follow current hot

Even to yet-to-be-converted allies, who knows how soon

topics affecting this community, e.g. how the results of

the seed of curiosity would nudge them to find out why

the Federal election will affect the same-sex marriage

allies would be interested in the lives of others?

timeline; how the lock-out laws are related to the increase of hate crime in Sydney, and maybe attend

3. Set tangible action

some community events such as UOW Allsorts meet & greet

For yourself, your LGBT colleagues, or someone who does

events. These experiences ensure that allies are updated

not embrace diversity yet, assign possible actions

about present concern in the LGBTIQ community, and they

to foster that relationship, be it a coffee chat, or

give plenty of materials for tips 1-3 as well.

extending dinner invitations that include the samesex partners of colleagues, or attend events by LGBTI-

6. Foster competition

inclusive organisations.

Advance equality by bettering yourself and peers over objective milestones. First, decide on one measurable

There is a variety of happenings relevant to equality at

indicator of inclusivity, such as number of registered

UOW and Wollongong to keep your ideas always fresh, such

UOW Ally members in your team/network/department. Then

as human rights talk by UOW Amnesty International, UOW

compare results and challenge your peers/neighbours/

Ally forums in August 2016, and free events in town such

faculties. Reward the more progressive side, materially

as film screenings by headspace Wollongong.

or emotionally, and encourage the others.

4. Create quick wins / find common ground.

The AustralianWorkplace Equality Index (AWEI), the

Common values create a safety net. There will be times

benchmark for LGBTI workplace inclusion nationally, is

when we meet someone who does not agree with diversity,

one example of how friendly competition pushes equality

or more commonly, do not understand different sexual

forward in Australia. Every year, financial corporations,

orientations. Instead of aiming for “victory” in the

universities, community services and even the Federal and

conversation, try identifying the common values in such

state law enforcement forces, compete on how inclusive

as love, respect, fairness, stability, instead of any

of diversity they are in the workplace and celebrate

judgement. There may not be immediate change of attitude

each others’ effort at the LGBTI Inclusion Award. At the

at the end of the conversation, but the seed of common

2016 occasion, The University of Western Australia wins

belief would have been planted and with time and repeated

the Highest Ranking University title and shares a joint

60 /

FEATURES

position as the 4th Employer of the Year. According to Annual Report 2015 Main Report, UOW aims to apply to AWEI in 2016.

Besides, the UOW Ally Training materials have just been made available online to students and staff. This allows training around the clock and year-round registration to the UOW Ally Network. Some healthy competition to better

headspace Wollongong hosts a youth LGBT group called the Rainbow League. Details https://www.facebook.com/headspace.wollongong/ app/190322544333196/

culture and policy at UOW. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer (LGBTIQ)

7. Monitor performance Set regular review of comparisons under tip 6. It may

health policy by Australian Medical Students’ Association http:// media.amsa.org.au/policy/2014/201403_LGBTIQ_Health_Policy.pdf

require update or upgrade of measurement of inclusivity.

Footnote: affectionately, let me give credits and thanks to Mr Paul

When all your colleagues have joined the UOW Ally

Choi, joint winner of Hong Kong LGBT Awards 2016 LGBT Inclusion

Network, how about organizing external trainings, or

Champion Award (https://www.facebook.com/time4changehk/photos/

a road trip to the next Mardi Gras? Useful to keep

pcb.1786561724921636/1786561391588336/?type=3&theater). Paul first

“competitors” on their toes, to wards the common goal of diversity and inclusion here at UOW and beyond.

shared the seven tips at Out on the Street Asia Summit 2014 Hong Kong. Henness was fortunate to be in his audience where he was a social media volunteer for Out Leadership (http://outleadership. com/).

Henness presented these tips at UOW Ally Network training in May

Resources:

2016, organized by Dr Trish Mundy and Ms Katrina Robinson, senior

Australian Workplace Equality Index (AWEI) http://www.pid-awei.com.

members of the UOW Ally Network. The audience was a special one,

au/

understandably, as staff and students committing their office hours would likely be coming with kindness and openness. In fact, more than

UOW Ally Facebook page regularly updates happenings at UOW and

a couple of participants shared about the personal relationships

Wollongong https://www.facebook.com/uowally/

with LGBTIQ individuals in the family and workplace. Perhaps they considered themselves as allies.

Therefore, to be of tangible

To register for online UOW Ally Training, email jcroft@uow.edu.au or

contribution, Henness challenged the audience to develop their good

go to http://staff.uow.edu.au/eed/allynetwork/index.html

intention towards the queer community into action: in other words, to activate the ally in themselves and others.

UOW Queer Collective Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ AllsortsCollective/

May the above seven tips of activating an Ally, be useful to you all.

/ 61

/ 63

part

four

WORDS / anonymous

to celebrate with you. Trust me, a

from my problems until they go away.

greater man would have done the same, have done the same. I’m going to go

Clark catches my eye; he opens his

Will tells me about the first story

and see the city for a bit, I’ll see

mouth to speak –

he ever covered by being there right

you in the lobby tomorrow morning.

place,

Night, Sir.”

right

time

and

how

he

met

“Simon, can I speak to you please,”

Delilah. It’s nice, being out of the

Delilah calls from her office.

office and getting to know Will a part

I quickly jog down the street before

from the William Thwaites that I had

Will can put his hand on my arm and

idolised and built up in my head.

ask me to stay. I didn’t want to hang around for that.

Saved by the queen.

I follow her into her office. We’d

Eventually, we start making the moves

developed

a

weird

friendship

since

to leave. The bartender waves goodbye

***

I’d been back. Delilah Thwaites found

and I wave back. When we’re out on the

Clark keeps looking at me over the

out about the affair in the summer.

street, the cool air hits us as we make

wall that separates our desks. I’ve

I always felt as though this was a

our way back onto the street. I turn

steadily kept my eyes down, replaying

rip off. It was bad news. She should

towards Will to ask him what the plan

my sister’s words over again in my

have found in winter, when everything

is when he grabs the lapels and pulls

head.

around us is dying.

against mine; almost crushing, and I

“Clark didn’t know you then, he tried

She takes a sip of her coffee, lifting

forget how to breathe. I immediately

to make amends. Give him a chance. I’m

an eyebrow, “So, is everything ok?”

put all my energy into this kiss when

not saying marry the guy, but you have

I hear someone whistle at us and I

to open your heart a little.”

me into a kiss. Will’s lips are strong

“Define ok.”

pause, pushing Will away.

I

She sighs, “What’s happening between

Will looks horrified and I’m sure my

“It’s

snapped back. “When you have PTSD from

hard

to

take

a

chance,”

you and Clark? The two of you were in

expression mirrors his.

a relationship.”

each other pockets. Now its awkward

“Simon, I’m so -

He tries to catch me everyday in the

stares and elevator chases.” elevator, but it’s always packed and “It’s

an

by the time the doors open, I’m out

adrenaline-fuelled day, we’ve had a

and down the street. It’s childish.

few drinks and your wife isn’t here

But I’ve always been a fan at hiding

64 /

fine,

Sir.

It’s

been

“We broke up.”

“Why?”

CREATIVE WRITING

I just shrug and she sighs, “Simon,

are going to let us down occasionally,

do not let William Thwaites ruin what

but it’s whether you carry hate and

could be your great love. He’s not

resentment inside you or you choose

worth it.”

to forgive them and let yourself be free what matters. No one is perfect,

The hospital was buzzing with activity.

Simon. Everybody makes mistakes.”

They wouldn’t let me see him. Family and emergency contacts only. I wanted

“Except you.”

“I just want to go back to the way

to scream at the nurses. Wasn’t I good

things were.”

enough?

She laughs, “Except me.”

Delilah Thwaites rushes into the ward,

***

face poised as ever.

I wait until the debrief meeting is

That gives him pause, like that wasn’t

over. Neither Clark nor I have to stick

what he was expecting. It probably

around

for

writing

wasn’t. It definitely wasn’t what I

rather

than

interviews.

was expecting to say. Love finds you

They take her to him. All I can do is

I

on

sit and watch, like this is a soap

elevator, letting him catch me.

I grin, “I love you, you asshole.”

“I’m looking for my husband.”

plan

tonight’s

show,

organising speaking

to

him

in

the

opera I can’t tear my eyes away from.

I could slip out now, but I want to

when

you

love

where

least I

expect had

it.

gotten

I

found

my

heart

shattered. It’s funny how life works I’m ready to fall.

out sometimes.

It doesn’t take long for the meeting

“I love you too, Simon.”

know if he’s okay. He has to be okay.

I love him.

to end, for Clark to catch me just She walks over an hour later, “I think

outside the lift.

you need to leave.”

It’s not perfect. We’re saying I love you in front of a lift, where people

“I’ve been trying to catch you all

could appear at any moment. We both

week.”

have issues to work out. He’s by the

underestimated her.

“I know.”

book. I’m driven by emotion. It’s a

“When did you stop loving him?”

He tilts his head, considering, “I’m

I

expected

her

to

scream.

I

start though. so fucking sorry, Si.”

I’m ready to fall.

“I know, me too.”

I know Clark will catch me.

Delilah grins, “You can still love a person and know their flaws. People

/ 65

t h a t ’ s

a l l

f o l k s .

s t a y

w o n d e r f u l .

w w w . t e r t a n g a l a . n e t t h e t e r t @ g m a i l . c o m @ t e r t a n g a l a f a c e b o o k . c o m / t e r t a n g a l a # i t s y o u r t e r t

the

gender

sexuality i s s u e

# f o u r

/

2 0 1 6

f r e e

u o w

s t u d e n t

&

issue

m a g a z i n e