Invisible Boundaries

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ISSUE

VINCENT CHAVEZ

editorinchief@lbunion.com

COLLEEN BROWN

colleen.union@gmail.com

Editor-in-Chief

Managing Editor

GABE FERREIRA

gabe.union@gmail.com

Managing Editor

MARCO BELTRAN

marcob.union@gmail.com

Senior Editor

MELISSA CASAS

opinions@lbunion.com

Opinions Editor

BRIANNE SCHAER

news@lbunion.com

JOHN VILLANUEVA

music@lbunion.com

News Director Music Editor

NATHAN CRUZ

Entertainment Editor

entertainment@lbunion.com

WES VERNER Literature Editor

COLLEEN BROWN Culture Editor

ROSE FEDUK Comics Editor

DUCHESS OF SPAIN Grunion Editor

GABE FERREIRA Art Director/Cover

literature@lbunion.com culture@lbunion.com comic@lbunion.com grunion@lbunion.com art@lbunion.com

NICHOLE DANIELS

nichole.union@gmail.com

CONNOR O’BRIEN

connor.union@gmail.com

Illustration Editor

Photo Editor/Cover Photo

LEO PORTUGAL Web Manager

NATHAN CRUZ

Advertising Executive

web@lbunion.com advertising@lbunion.com

Contributors: JON BOLIN, TANYA PAZ, JOSEPH PHILLIPS, CHRISTINA CHEN, KEVIN NG, MICHAEL WOOD, CAMILLE HOVE, SIERRA PATHEAL, WES YOUNG, DAVID CASARRUBIAS, TYLER DEAN, JOVANNA MADRIGAL, JOE RASHIDI, CHRIS JIMENEZ, JAMIE PEREZ, KIMBERLY TORREZ, DAVID NARVAEZ, FIONA IRVINE, ERIK HERNANDEZ, JENNIFER CIERRA, CHRIS DE GUZMAN, DJ SELDERS, KALIFA SPROWL, ANTONIO MENDOZA Disclaimer and Publication Information

The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI, or CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff.

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Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd., Suite 116, Long Beach,CA 90815 Phone: 562.985.4867 E-mail: info@lbunion.com Web: www.lbunion.com

VINCENT CHAVEZ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

H

ey Sleestaks, let me set a scene for you. I’ve just purchased a money order for $140 and I’m booking it to my passport appointment. I push open the door to the Passport Application Acceptance Office with five minutes to spare and take a seat. As I sweat quietly in the office, I go through a mental checklist of all the documents required for first time applicants. A few moments later I open my eyes and the Required Documents for First Time Applicants Checklist is tangibly and conveniently pinned to a cork board and staring me in the face. I scan the list.

Let’s see, Money order? Woops, my money order is off by $30. I’m sure they’ll just

refund me, no big deal. Birth Certificate?

I have a birth abstract, that should be equivalent, right? Copy of Drivers License?

I definitely have that! Oh, but the image is cut off slightly. I start feeling queasy at this point. The deadline for receiving your passport in December is going to pass by the time I reschedule and I’m never going to get to spend Christmas break in Japan.

I’d been thwarted by my own stupidity… again. Did I mention this was my second passport appointment this week? Yes, I’d already had this same panic attack and apparently learned nothing.

Finally, a woman’s voice brought me back to reality. The wonderfully lady in

charge of the passport office was calling my name. I took a seat and proceeded to unload my apology-laced story upon her.

When I’d finished, she assured me I still had a chance. Could it be? All I’d have to do is pay the expedited shipping price and my passport would be ready in time. I stopped pouting, thanked her, apologized one last time, and scheduled the final appointment for Thursday.

This Thursday will decide whether I’ll be eating sushi or honey baked ham come Christmas morning. If I do make it to Japan, I dedicate my first round of karaoke to the angel in the Passport Application Acceptance Office.

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WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE HERE’S HOW:

1. Read the Union.

You’re already doing this. So far so good.

2. Come to a Meeting.

Every Tuesday at 7pm in the NEW Union Office.

Now with fewer rats.

(Next to the pool tables in the USU)

3. Write an Article.

This step is pretty important, so don’t forget to do it. Seriously, write yourself a note.

UNION WEEKLY

15 OCTOBER 2012

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OPINIONS

MANICURED MIDDLE FINGERS GIRL POWER AND THE RIGHT TO REFUSE JOVANNA MADRIGAL CONTRIBUTOR

T

he dictionary definition of the word “bitch” is a female dog. What is it about this word that sounds so dirty and vile? Being called a bitch is about as ineffective as the pull out method during sex.

The idea of using the word “bitch” to insult another is purely manmade. The issue at hand is, is it really insulting to be considered a “bitch” in today’s culture? Remember, wellbehaved women rarely make history.

We’ve all done it, whether jokingly, angrily, or while we were upset. We’ve uttered the word bitch because when we were growing up, we were taught that it was a bad word and it was not to be said to another individual, making it all the more appealing to us like the forbidden fruit. Today, it is a common term used among friends, thrown into a sentence to make a point, or simply to describe a situation that we clearly are not fond of (i.e. “My chemistry class is a bitch.”).

Now, describing a situation and a person differs greatly. The word bitch insinuates that either the situation or person is unpleasant.

This is an issue for women as well as men.

Let’s be real: is the girl really a bitch when she rejects you after your failed attempt to try to on hit on her? If you haven’t noticed, you’re not going to get her number by being disrespectful and raunchy, let alone by being a haughty douchebag.

Why is a female not allowed to stand her ground and be adamant about her beliefs

lmage

CONNOR O’BRIEN PHOTO EDITOR

and ideals without being judged? Let alone walking away from a potential creeper who thinks using the line, “hey sexy,” is grounds for exchanging phone numbers?

Am I being heard yet? After watching a film for my Women’s Studies class on the fight for womens suffrage, it is clear where the rejection of womens empowerment came from. The idea that women are supposed to be like flowers, pretty to look at with no control of their own person, let alone their circumstances, is completely absurd. The idea that something beautiful can be so vile is unsettling to many.

Can anyone picture Zooey Deschanel being a bitch? Flipping you off? Or scoffing at you? Judging by the types of characters she portrays in the movies or her television series, New Girl, Zooey is the definition of cute, ditzy, and dismissive. She is the perfect example of the flower: cute, fragile, and soft. But like everyone else, Zooey is human along with the rest of the women in the world. Every flower has its thorns. Meaning, she cusses when she’s angry, she’s stubborn when she knows what she wants, and she has all the right in the world to be. If that’s grounds to call her a bitch, or any other woman for that matter, then so be it.

By the way, for those of you who use pick up lines along the lines of, “hey sexy,” and don’t see any results, maybe, just maybe, she has standards. How’s that for a bitch?

RIDE OR DIE

TAKING OUR METHODS OF TRANSPORTATION FOR GRANTED ERIK HERNANDEZ CONTRIBUTOR

My friends and I were once sitting at the kitchen table of my friend Gaby’s house. While conversing about random shenanigans, we spontaneously got to the topic of automobiles and whether they are a luxury or a necessity. My friends seemed to agree on the option that cars were a necessity, especially being in California. On the other hand, I had a complete different approach on how I viewed the matter.

My friends used the argument that cars are a necessity because, as residents in California, we need cars to get to the workplace, school, and to easily transport ourselves to far away places. Automobiles help transport people to far away places in a matter of minutes while taking public transportation can take a matter of hours due to bus stops and slow, steadilypaced traffic. Their other argument was that people are more capable of getting

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jobs due to their private self-driven transportation. If jobs are more available further away from home, they are capable of getting from point A to point B quickly and are capable of holding onto a job. I do think that some of these facts of life are appropriate when arguing that cars are necessities and I agree very much with them but, in the long run, I still think cars are a luxury.

If cars were a necessity, why would public transportation be available? There was once a time when commuters would travel via walking or later with a horse and carriage, which was a big improvement.

Cars were made to travel much faster and are more convenient due to the need of personal space. I believe that the need for a car is a privilege because people don’t need to have personal space, to turn the AC on, to hear music while driving, and to have

comfort while traveling in an automobile.

I believe that every one of us could survive traveling by public transportation. It is just that Californians and people elsewhere have lost their patience to travel with a crowd in a narrowly confined space.

Another reason that traveling by automobiles is a luxury is because people are not going to care how you get from place to place even if you travel by bus.

If people do acquire a job that is a great distance from where their home is, bosses are not going to care about how you get to your work facility. If student’s professors care about punctuality, they are not going to care how students get to class as long as they get there on time. For example, one of my friends and fellow students at CSULB had to travel from Downey (about 17 miles away) to Long Beach to reach his 8 a.m. class. He would get up at 4 a.m. just to have

time to get ready to catch the bus. That is some serious dedication and devotion to just being at school on time. He didn’t want to do it, but he had to. It just proves that to use an excuse that you didn’t get to a place on time or that it wasn’t convenient for you to get to a place, just because you don’t have a car, is ludicrous.

Again, I do agree and see the vantage point that my friends are coming from but ultimately, I ended up with a differing opinion on this issue. I know it may not be an important thing for one to think about, but if we do question it, cars have had a large impact on society. Without automobiles, I don’t think we would have advanced as far with technology. The way I see cars is different from how my friends view them.

It is just like what Clint Eastwood said once before: “An opinion is like an asshole, everyone has one.”

OPINIONS

REPOST, REBLOG, RECYCLE INTERNET MEMES ARE THE SCOURGE OF SOCIETY MICHAEL WOOD CONTRIBUTOR

Many say that music is the true voice of a generation. And it is an appealing concept, music does invoke nostalgia for particular parts of our lives and even for eras that we never lived in. However, I contend that an even better voice of a generation is humor.

The jokes of any generation tell so much about who we are. They rely on certain assumptions that may be discarded as time goes by, they tell us what was on someone’s mind at a particular time and they have a way of attacking the untouchable subjects that many other forms of expression may hesitate to take on. For that reason alone, I worry about what future generations may think of us.

One very prominent form of humor among our generation is of course, the Internet meme, a user generated joke that spreads like wildfire throughout the Internet. This happens on a regular basis, we all see it whenever we log into our Facebook accounts. Corporations capitalize upon them, young people make them with no

intention of profit nor fame and seemingly every single person from your uncle to your little cousin will share them through every online account they have.

And all I have to say about them is “yawn”. They’re cliches, boring and repetitive cliches that only serve to make me wonder how our generation will be perceived by the ones that follow us. And worst of all, they’re using the greatest creative resource the world has ever seen in the most boring and predictable way possible, endless repetitions of the same punchline that go on for years.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love the Internet. I am thankful everyday for the fact that there is high speed wireless Internet almost anywhere you go. Nowadays, you can access a wealth of cultural, intellectual, political, and just plain entertaining resources anywhere you are. The Internet is the single most enriching technology to come out in history, breaking us free from the monopoly of corporate owned

TV, magazines, newspapers and radio and allowing a more egalitarian and meritocratic media where anyone with talent and an Internet connection has a voice and people will listen.

That’s why it saddens me to see the greatest resource of our day used in such a bland and boring way. When it comes to humor alone, the information age has brought us into a golden age where you can watch the premier political comedian of the day, Jon Stewart, free of charge on his show’s website. You can watch shows and stand up comedy that you would never have access to otherwise. Whether you prefer the distinctly British absurdity of Monty Python, the observational style of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm and Seinfeld, the trope and reference dense Arrested Development or the heartfelt yet self-deprecating humor of shows like Louie, you have access to it. Comedians that have seemingly disappeared long ago now have their presence reinvigorated on the Internet,

just search for Tom Lehrer or Lenny Bruce.

We now have the ability to draw from the greatest comedians and writers of years past easily and within seconds and it seems we have overlooked that fact.

Instead we see rage faces on t-shirts at Hot Topic, shameless sloganeering in an attempt to be funny without wit and much of our humor coming from completely recycled references, generated day after day on Reddit, 9gag and 4chan. George Carlin is probably rolling over in his grave at the realization that one of the ways our generation expresses our sense of humor is being consistently driven into the ground, exploited by “hip” corporate viral marketing and then sold back to us by old white men in suits once they’ve milked it for all that it’s worth.

I’m not asking you to stop posting cat pictures on the Internet or to stop putting captions on funny screenshots. Just think, “have I seen this thing a million times already?” before you do so.

THE LIGHT-SKINNED BURDEN RACE IS MORE THAN SKIN DEEP ANTONIO MENDOZA CONTRIBUTOR

You can probably guess from my name that I am some kind of Latino, but this is not something that is apparent when you see me walking around on campus. As a Mexican-American, I stand out because I was born with pale skin and dark red hair.

My experience growing up has been very different from that of my cousins and even my sister, and I am convinced that my skin has had a great deal to do with this. They say that white boys are the only children whose self-esteem increases rather than decreases while watching television as children, and I, for lack of racial consciousness, identified with this group at a young age. As a result, watching television and not being able to see people who looked like me was not something I suffered from. By contrast, my Chinese-American girlfriend grew up drawing herself with blond hair because she wanted to be pretty, and in her mind, black hair would always play second fiddle to the straw-colored plumage of white girls. What I am trying to say is that the skin, hair, and eyes you are born with in America greatly affect your sense of personal identity.

So, I tried to get away from my identity as a Mexican-American, and I was pretty successful. I deliberately took French instead of Spanish in high school. I studied European history, because what was there to learn about Mexico anyway, and it’s not like you could study that in high school. I hung

out almost exclusively with Asian and white kids, because the Mexican kids at my school and I had little to talk about, or so I thought.

Coming to college, I have rejected identifying myself in the way that America’s white, Christian, and patriarchal cultural discourse has encouraged me to. I studied abroad in France for two years, but I gave up on French and European history to study the more intriguing and important subject of Chinese history; similarly, I gave up on being a Mexican-American with a bunch of qualifications attached, and I am now simply a Mexican-American. No one can take this identity from me.

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who will try. Whether you are Latina/o, African American, or Asian American it is not uncommon to be told that we are somehow exemplary for our race. What is meant is that we are closer to approaching an ideal: whiteness. To make this more explicit, while growing up my best, ardently conservative, and culturally deafmute friend would tell me that I was a “good Mexican” and he wished there were more Mexicans “like me.” He would later adopt a similar attitude toward his current Mexican girlfriend. When I was younger, I accepted such comments, but now that I have studied history in more depth and come to realize with greater clarity my place in the racial make-up of American society, the two

things my friend was trying to tell me are clear. One, the people of my race, Mexicans, my family, my cousins, my sister, my father, my ancestors, and those living in Mexico, were all in some way defective. Mexican people, on the whole, had something wrong with them that made them bad, while I, surprisingly, had avoided such defects and was by contrast, good. Two, I was good for some reason. I can only conclude that what made me exemplary in contrast to my own people was the fact that my friend saw me as breaking out of traditional stereotypes of Mexicans as lazy, bad at school, etc., and possessing some greater “American” values.

My friend was a European American, and the virtues he imagined “Americans” to have are in fact virtues that he imagined EuropeanAmericans to have. This is the problem.

Far too many people in America, of every race and ethnicity, have an idea of America in their head that is European, virtuous, outdated, exclusive, and imaginary. Many European-Americans are terrified of and threatened by immigrants who don’t live up to it, and growing up and being educated in America makes a non-European-American feel guilty or inferior for not being more like the European-American ideal, but America is far more than European.

One need not be white, Christian, or even a citizen in order to be an American.

And ideas about what people of a certain

race are or are not are fundamentally stupid and ignorant. The fact that my skin is white does not mean that I cannot be Mexican. The fact that I am not stupid does not mean that I am an exemplary Mexican because Mexicans are not stupid.

The fact that someone would say that I am exemplary as a Mexican because I am not stupid, means that, in some deep sense, they are, for assuming that all Mexicans exemplify a certain characteristic. So, regardless of your race or ethnicity, the next time you try to tell someone they’re this or that in relation to their race, know that it’s not true and it’s not a compliment.

If you tell someone that they are tall for a Japanese, good at basketball for a Chinese, or smart for a Mexican, you are insulting every other Japanese, Chinese, and Mexican person that that person knows and inviting them to do the same in accepting your “compliment.” My skin is white, and I am a number of things, but none of them make me any more or less Mexican. Being Mexican does not make me more or less “American.” EuropeanAmericans are not default “Americans.”

I am a Mexican-American, so regardless of what you may mean in trying to tell me or implying that I’m more white or “American” than most Mexicans you know, you can keep those ugly, racist compliments to yourself.

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NEWS

PEDAL TO THE MEDAL

SHOOTIN’ THE SHIT

CAL STATE LONG BEACH IMPROVES THE CYCLING EXPERIENCE BRIANNE SCHAER NEWS DIRECTOR

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Photo

CONNOR O’BRIEN PHOTO EDITOR

he city of Long Beach may be on a quest for the title of most bike friendly city in the country, but CSULB serves its own slew of bike events for the cycling enthusiast. After a brief conversation with Elissa Thomas, alternative transportation coordinator, I had enough info for an update of a few happenings you can strap on your helmet, grab your bike, and pedal off to participate.

Fixit stations help those in need.

New to CSULB this semester are three bike fixit stations. Complete with a variety of tools to aid cyclists in need of minor repairs, the stations can be found at Parkside Residence Hall, Los Cerritos Residence Hall, and across from the Rec Center near the tennis courts. Thomas attended a sustainability conference with David Salazar, Vice President of physical planning and facilities management, and Paul Wingco, energy and sustainability manager, last summer at UC Davis. They saw fixit stations around the campus and immediately wanted to get them for CSULB. Thomas said she’s been seeing a lot of utilization of the stations and describes the reception so far as “overwhelmingly positive.” The stations now feature air hoses that work on both Schrader and Presta valves, so don’t worry if your sweet fixed-gear gets a flat and you don’t have an adapter.

WITH THE EXECS JONATHON BOLIN ASI VICE PRESIDENT

Long Beach counts on the bike count.

CSULB is leading the volunteer effort for the city’s fourth annual bike count.

Volunteers document the number of cyclists and pedestrians crossing certain intersections, and the results determine the future of bike and pedestrian infrastructure and funding. There will be training sessions in the Vivian Engineering Center, Room 224 on Tuesday at 12 p.m., 2 p.m., and 5:30 p.m. Attendees will be briefed on how to perform the count, which is taking place on Thursday and Sunday.

Learn to do it yourself!

On the second Wednesday of each month from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., JAX Bikes hosts instructional fixit sessions and 12-point bicycle safety inspections in front of the Rec Center. Cyclists of various levels can learn proper maintenance and repair.

The stations also feature barcode scanners that provide step-by-step instructions for common problems. Anyone who whishes to learn on-the-road bike safety may sign up for a Traffic Skills 101 class online or by calling 562-985-4091.

ORGS SEARCH FOR MORE SPACE

STUDENT ORGANIZATIONS FACE BURDENS WHEN BOOKING THE ANATOL CENTER KALIFA SPROWL CONTRIBUTOR

Perhaps one of the driving forces to our growing campus community is our plethora of student organizations and clubs. There are literally hundreds of organizations tailored for every student’s unique interests, hobbies, and culture. However, these student-operated organizations can grow to become so big and active, that they begin to outgrow their usual conference space.

Lately, some students have been finding it increasingly difficult to acquire space to host their organizations and large student gatherings. Lecture halls are ideal for organizations with a large membership; however, all of them are not necessarily easy for students to reserve. One location in particular that restricts student’s access is the Karl Anatol Center.

The Anatol Center’s space is exclusive to faculty and staff only, which makes it a burden for students within active organizations who wish to host a large student gathering or are in need of a greater meeting place. In addition, when

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utilizing the center, users are prohibited from bringing in their own food or refreshments. They must instead abide to the center’s policy and use it’s designated catering service, which only adds to the already complicated burden.

The start of the semester is usually the most active time for clubs that tend to hold large first general meetings and mixers. Some student organizations, such as the Anime Club, have seen what a boost in membership and student interest can cause. President of Anime Club Sarah Nguyen said that oftentimes the organization does not have enough space to hold activities.

“There are people [who linger] outside in the halls,” she said. “Some split up into small groups and occupy a nearby room or terrace, thus deviating from the club.”

A big part of our campus community is these organizations that unite and bring students together, so it almost seems absurd that not all of these students can fit into one single room. Students should

not have to resort to sitting on the floor, standing along the walls or even within the doorway due to the lack of chairs and space just to participate in their meetings.

If students cannot find a seat, they may not consider attending the next meeting, therefore discouraging participation and membership. However, this does not have to be the case; it’s preventable, seeing as how there are larger and more accommodating spaces on campus.

Therefore, lets limit one inconvenience and rereview the restrictions we place on students and the Anatol Center. The center would provide a greater space for student organizations to host their gatherings and limit the headache of trying to comfortably accommodate all 50 or so members into one single meeting room. If the center were to ease its restrictions and allow for student access, it would be another extra lecture space that the larger organizations could utilize and not have to bear the unfavorable “compromises” the smaller conference rooms usually call for.

Well hello again, Union Weekly readers.

We meet again. Or if we’re meeting for the first time, hello. I’m your Associated Students, Inc. Vice President Jonathon Bolin.

AKA JMoney. AKA THE BOSS. AKAK47.

I hope you guys have been keeping up with the Presidential debates. Big Ol’ Unkle Biden wipin’ the floor with Ry-Dawg. Yep. I watched. I laughed. I cried, a little. But on a serious note: the race for President really doesn’t matter much in California. We all know CA is going to Barry Obama. No doubt about it. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t vote. We all need to get on that VOTE BOAT because there ARE things on the ballot that matter. Sure, vote for Barry, vote for Romski, but most importantly make sure you vote for the propositions on the ballot, as well as local/state elected positions.

The politicians in Sacramento are the people who are making the decisions that will directly affect the CSU, our future, and future students. You have to put in the time, and research each person’s stance on different issues; you can’t just flick on your T.V. and watch an ad accusing one candidate of being a Socialist Muslim and the other stockpiling money in the Cayman Islands (however, true) and make your decision. Yeah, it’s not as easy making a decision on who you should vote for in local/state government, but it’s worth it. We have multiple propositions on the ballot. Read them. Decide for yourself on which ones to vote for. If you’re too “busy” to read extremely boring material, go on either ballotpedia.org or smartvoter.org and check out some non-partisan material that gives a summary of each proposition.

This November you will also be voting on: state and US senator positions, as well as congressmen and assemblymen. These people will directly choose the future of our state. When you receive your sample ballot in the mail, dig through it and research these people. FYI: These local/state politicians make upwards of $120,000/yr, so in a way, you are voting for someone to make a substantial salary. Make sure YOUR interests are being represented in California.

Voting IS important. Your vote DOES count. Make sure to stay informed. And as my grandma always used to say, “VOTE SOCIALIST!” Woo-hoo! GO BEACH! — Jonathon Bolin. ASI Vice-President.

USU 311. asi-vicepresident@csulb.edu.

The opinions expressed here are the author’s opinions alone and do not reflect the opinions of ASI, ASI government, or CSULB in any way.

Feature

MARCO BELTRAN SENIOR EDITOR

Left: Exterior view of West End of the I-House. Right: I-House’s TV room

THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY

MUSIC

LOST IN A WILDERNESS OF SOUND GRIZZLY BEAR SHOWS THE GREEK THEATER WHAT’S UP NATHAN CRUZ

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

L

ast Wednesday, on a brisk October night under the stars, deep in the hills of Griffith Park, thousands came in droves to see Grizzly Bear wrap up their current U.S. tour at the Greek Theater in support of their latest release Shields.

The band took the stage after opener Lower Dens performed in support of their latest release, Nootropics.

Lower Dens, who hail from Baltimore, are a journey into experimental psychedelic bliss. They’re highly underrated and I am fucking pissed that I missed their performance. Check out the band’s

Illustration

ROSE FEDUK COMICS EDITOR

brilliant repertoire and keep an eye on them because they will be making waves in the years to come.

Grizzly Bear’s rise to fame has steadily progressed over the years with the 2006 release of Yellow House and the 2009 release of Veckatimest. Their hour and 45 minute set on Wednesday pulled heavily from some of the best of their works from the aforementioned albums.

Formed in Brooklyn, New York in 2002, Grizzly Bear consists of Ed Droste (vocals, keyboards), Daniel Rossen (vocals, guitar, keyboards), Chris Taylor

(backing vocals, bass), and Chris Bear (backing vocals, drums).

The band took the stage to much adoration from the packed theater, opened with an exciting display of various colored lights, and performed “Speak in Rounds.”

During their song “Adelma,” several lanterns on strings arose as a backdrop onstage, creating, along with the song, an ethereal experience for even the most sober attendee.

The band played most of Shields and pulled heavily from, Veckatimest, including one of the bands infectiously poppy song, “Two Weeks,” which singer

Ed commented that his cousins, EmmaJean and Clementine, get down to.

Grizzly Bear closed the first part of their set with Shields album closer, “Sun in Your Eyes” which Chris Bear described as “the stoniest, most messed-up song of the night.”

The band came out to play an encore that consisted of earlier works “Knife” and the last half of “On a Neck, on a Spit” before finally closing the show with an acoustic rendition of “All We Ask,” with a nice touch of synchronized claps added from the audience, creating a final touch of perfection to the night.

BEYOND PIONEER TOWN

YUCCA VALLEY’S HIDDEN MUSICAL JEM: PAPPY & HARRIET’S BAR & GRILL WES VERNER LITERATURE EDITOR

There is no reason to go to Pioneertown on its own; that is to say, it is not generally a destination hot spot. There is a hokey-asall-hell ghost town along Mane Street, and no, that’s not a typo. Beyond Pioneertown lays nothing but Pipe’s canyon, home to perhaps fifteen or twenty “desert folk” and a couple of houses you can rent out if you’re pretty rich. But in front of Mane Street, and just to your right as you drive in, is a bar called Pappy & Harriet’s.

The inside feels like an old west saloon that has barely been upgraded with

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common amenities. There is very little light, the floors, walls, and ceiling are either unfinished wood or cinderblock, and an old jukebox somewhere rattles out country music. Now this sounds horrible, but it’s not. It’s a very authentic feel, and quite awesome. When you saunter up to the bar, the bartender, honest to god, says, “What’ll ya have?” All drinks are served in doubles or Mason Jars. The barbecue is amazing, and I don’t know who cooks the steaks, but he knows his shit.

But the real reason to come here isn’t

revealed until after the sun has set. Music.

Amazing Music. In the three days I was in the area, The Hives played, Laura Marling played, and Dr. Dog did a night of music with Paper Planes and Cotton Joe. The Sunday night house band is not too shabby either. We danced to them for at least an hour, not including the multitudes of runs to the bar for the fortifying reassurance of alcohol.

This isn’t uncommon. The walls are covered in posters from all the different bands that have played over the years. Sea

Wolf, The Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash, even Thelonious Monster played there in the ‘80s. It, for some reason, has become a destination venue for amazing bands.

So if you’re ever on the 62 around Yucca Valley, turn off and go three miles north on Pioneertown Rd., almost anyone will be happy to give you directions. Check them out at www.pappyandharriets.com. But be warned, they don’t advertise their big shows. You’re better off just tossing the dice, my friend.

CULTURE

UNION TEST KITCHEN!

FALL EDITION INSIDE-OUT CARAMEL APPLES

C

aramel apples are the best, but they’re not always that easy to eat.

But with the caramel on the inside, things get a little easier.

I’ve included a recipe for the caramel, but you can make this recipe with caramel chews too if you don’t feel like putting in the work.

Melt them in a saucepan and you’re good.

My caramel just tastes way better.

Ingredients:

be sea salt, but if you want everyone to like you and be your friend, sea salt is preferred.)

CHRISTINA CHEN CONTRIBUTOR

sugar dissolves faster, if you feel like getting fancy.)

caramel won’t run out when you pour it. The point is to have the caramel stay inside!

to stir, keep a small brush and some water nearby to wipe down the sides.

6. Lower heat to a simmer and very

with the caramel.

also really good. Or, you know, actual rum.)

Directions: Everybody uses different apples for caramel apples so it really depends on what kind you like.

you can carve shapes into the apple. Make sure when you’re cutting the apples that the

cream, butter and salt to a boil. Remove from heat and set aside. together sugar, corn syrup and water until sugar is dissolved. Boil without stirring caramel colored. It’s important not to stir because you don’t want to get the sugar on the sides of the saucepan. They’ll burn faster and it won’t taste as good. If you’re a

want the caramel to be a little saucier you don’t have to cook it as long after the cream cook it the thicker it will be when it cools.

7. Pour the caramel into the apples and cool. If you decided to go with the thicker, chewier caramel, don’t wait too long to pour the caramel otherwise it won’t be pourable.

Photo

CONNOR O’BRIEN PHOTO EDITOR

REACTION MELISSA CASAS OPINIONS EDITOR

If not for my teeth being glued together have cried my praise for this dessert to the heavens instead of resorting to the written word to communicate how heavenly these are. Caramel apples are usually a hard sell for who overdosed on sweets during Halloween, or at any other time of the year, and although I love fruit, I can’t bring myself to like apples. out apple that was essentially impregnated by

was the apple and the lava was the caramel.

BANANA CREAM PIE WITH A COOKIE CRUST Have you ever wanted to bake a pie, but didn’t want to deal with the hassle and hardwork that comes with making your own pie crust? Trying store bought, premade pie crusts, but they just aren’t cutting it? Well, I have a solution for you: chocolate chip cookie dough. That’s right—a pie crust made of chocolate chip cookie. Easy to make, impossible to resist, this banana cream pie with a cookie crust has it all.

Ingredients (measured for a 9” pie tin):

LEO PORTUGAL UNION STAFFER

while stirring gently. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly (don’t give up).

Once it gets bubbly, that means you just (I just use a tube of Pillsbury chocolate chip)

and then remove it from the burner. in with your beaten eggs, and immediately

Line your pie tin with a thin layer of cookie dough. Bear in mind that the dough

remember to keep stirring. Remove the

cookies until they’re fully baked and form the pie’s crust. Allow the crust to cool.

Prepare some vanilla pudding for the

vanilla. Stir until the whole thing has a smooth consistency.

Slice bananas into the cookie dough pie

Chill the pie in the fridge for at least an hour (longer helps it hold better).

Top that bad boy with whipped cream.

Have fun with it. Decorate it with cool whipped cream swirls or something. You can top it all off with lightly roasted almond slivers, if you like.

Eat the pie all by yourself, or share the pie with some loved ones. You could also that you attend and trick people into thinking you’re a cool and friendly person. In fact, about three years ago, I made a pie just like meetings, and it has served as the lynchpin to my success here.

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ENTERTAINMENT

IF YOU’RE FEELING SINISTER SINISTER UNDERWHELMS, BUT IS MOST LIKELY THE BEST HORROR FILM OUT THIS SEASON

TYLER DEAN UNION STAFFER

T

he other night I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine about the most effective means for a horror film to convey that itching dread that tickles the hairs on the back of your neck; the kind where your entire body becomes a cage of claustrophobia and you want to get out but can’t. For my friend and me, that disturbing feeling is most effective when shown through a juxtaposition of ironic music and action—for example, happy music during a very intimate murder scene. Now that you have that mental image, multiply it by 20 and you’ll get Sinister.

I’ve seen my fair share of horror films. To name a few, Twilight, Insidious, Rubber—I

know my stuff. So believe me when I say that Sinister, although pretty predictable from the very beginning, is strongest in its “creepy” factor. Everyone who saw Insidious remembers how shitty it was. It had a strong beginning, a creepy “haunted” child, and some sick effects, but it all went downhill after revealing a Darth Maul-esque character from a galaxy far, far, away that ended up here on Earth. Well, Sinister is everything that piece of crap wasn’t.

Let’s go over the bad stuff first. As touched upon, Sinister does have its issues, the least of which is its predictability. The number one problem I had, and one which plagues many a horror film, is that the characters are unlikeable or just plain cliché.

You have the token demonology expert, the helpful deputy whose sole existence is to tell us what we already know, and then of course the creepy children. There’s always a creepy child in these films. Don’t even get me started on the relationship between Ellison and his wife. They are probably the worst possible cinematic pairing in the history of film. So, the good news is that the film’s issues are something we’ve come to expect.

Throughout Sinister I found myself on the edge of my seat (or cowering into, rather) on more than one occasion. The film does a fantastic job of stretching out the suspense rather than blowing it all in the beginning, then wasting the next hour and a half playing catch up. It also rarely

relies on “jump scares”, which I’m sure we can all appreciate, instead utilizing a hypnotic score which serves as the backbone to the impending doom that we the audience are meant to internalize from the get-go.

In the end, one has to remember that this isn’t the groundbreaking work of some obscure auteur. It just doesn’t stand out. It isn’t that kind of film, nor will it find that sort of success. Rather, it’s simply a fun October horror flick meant to be seen in theaters, talked about a little, then forgotten once it comes out on DVD. See it while you can because you’re not going to care to a month from now. I’m glad I did.

COMEDY-SHOW-BRO, YOLO

LAST WEEK’S COMEDY SHOW AT DIPIAZZA’S WAS OFF THE HOOK Y’ALL CONNOR O’BRIEN PHOTO EDITOR

Last week, I went to DiPiazza’s to see Union Weekly alumnus, Andy Kneis, compete with ten other comedians for a spot in a comedy show in L.A. along with a cash prize. I know pretty much everybody shares my feelings about how the venue is shit, but I have to be honest, they have some cool stuff going on over there.

Overlooking the deafening PA system, upset homeless men, and our asshole, man-boy waiter, the show was great.

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15 OCTOBER 2012

There was a vast array of comedians with different levels of experience, from firsttimers, to seasoned entertainers. One of the openers was Zach Sherwin, as seen on Vh1, E!, and Last Call With Carson Daly. His comedic raps, as “MC Mr. Napkins,” were intelligent and witty. Whoever is the omniscient guy that gives out street cred to rappers across the world, Mr. Napkins deserves some cred. He was dopey-dope.

Andy had a successful set. His stand

up humor carries the same honest, oddly creative voice that his past Union articles and current articles on Cracked.com possess.

Yonatan Zeray ended up winning the cash prize. He was pretty good, but his jokes weren’t that memorable. All I can recall was a joke about breaking his leg at a club and a different joke about breaking his penis at a different club. I don’t go to clubs and I’ve never broken my genitalia, so maybe that’s why I didn’t think he was that funny.

One thing that kept me laughing at some of the dull jokes a few contestants had was this goofy guy in the back that interjected his booming, “Ha”. He wasn’t heckling, he genuinely laughed as loud as he could at some dumb stuff. It was awesome.

The bouncer clearly took his job too seriously, as he referred to a sad little homeless guy as a “hell raiser.” I think he referred to me as “honey” at one point. I don’t get it, but he didn’t touch my butt, so I can’t complain.

ENTERTAINMENT

DON’T SQUASH YOUR KIDS; THEY MIGHT STAY SQUASHED GLASS MENAGERIE REVERSES THE CONVENTION OF STATIC SETS AND DYNAMIC CHARACTERS SIERRA PATHEAL CONTRIBUTOR

The narrator wanders onstage once again, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his wool coat. He glances around the set—the dimly-lit living room of an early twentieth-century apartment, complete with laundry on the line outside the window and a stately Victrola up against the wall—before turning to the audience with a vaguely dissatisfied expression.

Tom, narrator and character in the Long Beach Playhouse’s The Glass Menagerie, isn’t the only figure unsuccessfully chasing happiness throughout the entire play. Each of his fellow characters suffers under deep-seated dreams and desires, combined with an all-too-real aversion to compromise; together, they form a motley, mismatched mixture, striving in opposite directions and pulling the bonds between them apart, strand by strand.

The play recounts the story of a family in St. Louis during the Great Depression, a

family accustomed to wealth and prosperity in the antebellum South but now driven to subsist by stocking warehouses.

All four characters, despite the narrator’s claim that only the “gentleman caller” at the end truly qualifies as “normal,” are surprisingly accurate caricatures of the segments of humanity they represent, abnormal only in that they refuse to change.

Siblings Tom and Laura are children of a world and a mother who leaves them no space to become individuals, forced to retreat to abandoned locker rooms and their own minds, respectively, to become something other than the pawns and placeholders their surroundings have dubbed them. Jim, Laura’s undesired gentleman caller, is an eternal upand-comer, yearning for high school glory days while waiting for his chosen field to finally pick up momentum and carry him to success. (Considering he’s waiting for TV, his prospects may not be too terrible.) Then there

is Amanda, the matron of the family, and my absolute favorite character. Amanda is caught in the antebellum South of her youth, ever recounting tales of her childhood and criticizing her children because, of course, they are not as successful as she fashions herself to have been.

As my friend said upon leaving the theater, one moral of the play probably refers directly to her nonexistent child-rearing skills. “Don’t squash your kids,” he laughed.

“They might stay squashed.” Tom and Laura certainly did.

While I found the consistent portrayal of the characters commendable, it also led to my central criticism of the play: it is very slow-paced. The characters’ resistance to change makes their conflicts constant and their frustrations unending, resulting in a tension which builds very slowly. Rather than sparks leading to fire, the climax is simply a family slowly, surely stretching

apart. Laura’s collection of glass animal figurines, in fact, shows more dynamism through shattering than the characters do.

It’s almost as though the title doesn’t refer to Laura’s collection at all but rather to the characters, frozen and immobile in their frustrations. Glass can’t change. It can only break, and break they do.

My favorite scene occurred toward the end of the play and exemplified this determined lack of development almost chillingly. The narrator, in the middle of one of his many monologues, glances to his sister, who is watching him expectantly from the dinner table. As usual, she is trapped in her own world, unable to even recognize the reality of her situation. He smiles sadly, then sighs.

“Blow out your candles, Laura.” The scene goes dark, and we are left with the memory of a girl so lost she’ll willingly blow out the only light she has left. Scary.

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LITERATURE

A BOOK REVIEW-SOME TWOSOME INSTEAD OF SURFING THE INTERNET, CHECK OUT SOME OF OUR FAVORITE BOOKS CAMILLE HOVE

GONE GIRL

CONTRIBUTOR

G

illian Flynn has written a masterpiece of murder and intrigue. A marriage gone wrong and a potential killer on the loose, Gone Girl starts off with a bang.

Nick and Amy have been married five years, living in a posh brownstone in New York. But when the internet steals both of their magazine occupations, they take to moping around the house in pajamas and taking long afternoon naps. Soon though, things need to change, so they pack up and head to Nick’s hometown of Carthage, Missouri. With his pockets quickly becoming shallow, and his mother dying cheerfully of cancer, (no, seriously, she’s the most upbeat character in the book) Nick and Amy soon settle into a new routine.

This routine is broken rather abruptly on the morning of their fifth anniversary

ELANTRIS

UNION WEEKLY

without Amy? Half of a whole? What happens to people when their marriage breaks apart?

Amy muses on the theory of self, “Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?” True nature, be it dark and gritty, utterly terrifying, or just plain simple can have a deep effect. Amy is a troubled, intelligent woman who has found a fault in her husband. Flynn spins her character wider than a spider web to lure you in.

Fond of women who have troubling secrets and dark inner thoughts, Flynn works this piece around the psychosis of Nick and Amy Dunne. What happened to their marriage?

How did they end up like this?

Gone Girl explores the depths of the human mind and what it means to really love someone—and what they would do to keep that love.

SIERRA PATHEAL UNION STAFFER

It’s 2:38 in the morning and you’re thirsty. You try to ignore it, but you can’t get back to sleep. So, sighing, you slip out of bed quietly, trying not to wake your roommate, and grope your way toward the door.

A moment later, two feet before where the wall should have been, you slam your toe into the doorframe. Cursing soundlessly, you bite your lip as pain washes over you and lights your entire foot on fire. You wait, breathing deeply, for the pain to recede.

But what if it never does?

This isn’t the central concept in Brandon Sanderson’s Elantris, but it’s the one that has stuck with me the longest. For a certain group of characters in the novel, injuries, once sustained, never heal, and the pain, therefore, never fades. In the first chapter of Elantris, Prince Raoden awakes one morning to find he’s been taken by the “Shaod,” a transformation which was once considered a blessing and turned citizens into god-like, immortal wizards, but now, for reasons no one can decipher, turns

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when Nick finds the door wide open and the house turned upside down with no Amy in sight. When she is declared missing by the police, Nick is obviously the first suspect, and he has no alibi. (Editor’s Note: Duh duh DUUUUUHHHH!) Flynn presents information in such a shocking way; you won’t want to put this heavy tome down.

Split into three parts, we dive deep into what seemed like the perfect cookie cutter marriage of two gorgeous people with more money than they could keep track of. But when the deepest darkest thoughts of Nick and Amy are brought to light, you’ll be surprised at what you learn. Nick admits, “As a man, I had been my most impressive when I loved her—and I was my next best self when I hated her.” Troubled with the thoughts of his wife, he knows his character is in question when it comes to being together. Who is he

15 OCTOBER 2012

them into gnarled, zombie-like animated corpses, who, despite being very difficult to kill, lack the blessings of eternal youth and regeneration. Instead, the moving, sentient corpses are thrown into the walled city of Elantris, which used to be the city of the gods, and the walls are locked behind them, the rest of the world pretending they’re dead. Cursed to live forever with bodies which cannot repair themselves but whose nerve endings are nevertheless fully functioning, the cursed citizens probably wish they were.

The book centers around far more than this idea, and despite it being Sanderson’s first widely-published book, it remains one of my favorites due to its skillful plot structure, interesting world, and dazzling originality. The chapters are split between three main characters— Prince Raoden, his fiancée Sarene (who, despite never meeting him before his transformation, nevertheless manages to meet and fall in love with him while he’s still a zombie), and the creepy cult priest Hrathen, who comes to Raoden’s city with

the orders to convert everyone or murder them all—and, as the seemingly-disparate story strands weave tighter and tighter, the eventual explosion is unavoidable.

Toward the end, a hundred pages pass easily in a frantic half-hour, homework and sanity alike discarded in favor of one more chapter. Despite its slow buildup, the novel suddenly and violently grabs ahold of the reader and refuses to let go— or to leave once it’s finished.

I’ve read seven other books by Sanderson now, and while they all have their gems, the concept of everlasting, searing pain still stands out to me as one of the strongest, most disturbing scenarios he’s designed. I’m clumsy; I run into doors and walls frequently, and if I were to fall over and need stitches or a trip to the hospital via ambulance, it wouldn’t be the first time. If those momentary flashes of pain never, ever faded?

I can understand why Raoden goes insane.

So, if you’re looking for a break from midterms and enjoy the escape fantasy has to offer, give Elantris a try. It’s worth it.

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PARTYIN’ WITH PARTY KAT DISSECT MY BRAIN

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EASY COMICS PAGE BUM

HOBO HARRIS

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KEVIN NG

COMICS

DISCLAIMER: This page is not about the perks of being

“If you ever miss

are made of wood and wallpaper, so it is impossible to be in good standing if

someone, just go work out”

offended you, Harry Potter girl, but I am campus, if that makes sense to you. Email the Grunchess at grunion@lbunion.com.

Volume 71 Issue 8

Monday, October 15, 2012

LBUNION.COM

KICK UP THE JAMES: THE SORORITY’S LESBIAN INTERVENTION KEVIN JAMES STORY After the colossal Zoo-saster, aka The Zookeeper, no one expected Kevin James to make a comeback.

Even his most vehement supporters seemed to have lost

By MARY MUGGLIN’ faith that the King of Queens could ascend to his throne once again. Even those closest to James thought his career was circling the drain.

“We were all thinking the worst,” Adam long time friend, told the Grunion Gazette. “I would look at those gloopy blue eyes and just only so much money you can throw at a big ole gloopball to make people laugh at it.” light appeared.

“When I read the graphic novel version of the book Here Comes the BOOK,” James said, “I thought to myself, ‘People should see this. This should be a movie people

Los Angeles wearing my homemade MMA in order to save his school from a pack of I pantomimed masturbating towards all the female execs in the room.”

The rest was history. Within a day a script was written and by the end of the week most of principle photography had been completed.

Oscar buzz is already surrounding Here Comes the Boom.

Just read some of the reviews: “[Kevin James] is like the [Marlon]

Last Wednesday, after a seemingly pleasant brunch, Rebecca “Thirsty Girl” Theesin was confronted by her sorority, Kappa Zeta Jones, over

By RA’S AL GOOP allegations of sapphism. Reports show that Theesin had broken pledge code by making out with other sisters without being in the presence of one or more males. we were making out during Colin Farrell of Colin Farrell movies for an entire Friday. Anyways, we were just at the part in Tigerland where Colin turns into a tiger

Recent pledge, Kimberly Fatsquach had this to say: “We used to have snuggle parties, kiss here and there, and you know, feel comfortable doing those things. It used to be cool when the guys from Omega Red would come over for a mixer and a kegger bad way.”

The most damning evidence came from suggested we change Colin Farrell Fridays to Jodie Foster Fridays. Like, who on earth wants to watch Nell, The Beaver, and Flight Plan to watch Flight Plan where to go from here. One pledge mate

guys in the room. So I check the windows expecting to see a pack of horny dudes dangling from a ladder. Nope. Maybe

lack of forthrightness. “I watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with that girl…one and

single frat bro. She was just making out to “What people fail to understand that she would get my obvious reference to the hit movie, Bee Movie Little did Kevin James know that he had struck gold. His pitch was simple. Slacker order to save his wife from a pack of sexy bees, which the studio execs shot down.

Shaken, but not deterred, James went back to the drawing board to come up with what “I hopped into my IPS truck and drove all the way to Los Angeles from my house in

purest sense of the word. He takes these seemingly simple subjects like a mall cop,

During the intervention, Theesin was

went so far as to ask for her dismissal.

One sister noted, “She never once cried. It was really offputting and butch of her.”

fraternity, being with people who share her lifestyle choice.”

on their heads. You could give the man two tube socks and an issue of Playboy,

to Sistah Nun 2: Nun Shall Pass, Sistah Nun 3: Nun Ya Bizness

INSIDE

BABY ACCIDENTALLY CHANGES ALL GRADES ON MYCSULB, I WISH

Regis Philbin to Play Will Smith as Barack Obama in The Candidate 2: Cadi-dad

Steven Tyler Makes Woman Walk This Way