ISSUE “I LIKE MY BEER COLD, MY TV LOUD, AND HOMOSEXUALS FA-LAAAAAAMING.” —Homer Simpson VINCENT CHAVEZ
editorinchief@lbunion.com
COLLEEN BROWN
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Editor-in-Chief
Managing Editor
GABE FERREIRA
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Managing Editor
MARCO BELTRAN
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Senior Editor
MELISSA CASAS
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Opinions Editor
BRIANNE SCHAER
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JOHN VILLANUEVA
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NATHAN CRUZ
Entertainment Editor
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WES VERNER Literature Editor
COLLEEN BROWN Culture Editor
ROSE FEDUK Comics Editor
DUCHESS OF SPAIN Grunion Editor
GABE FERREIRA Art Director/Cover
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NICHOLE DANIELS
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CONNOR O’BRIEN
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Contributors: JON BOLIN, TANYA PAZ, JOSEPH PHILLIPS, CHRISTINA CHEN, KEVIN NG, MICHAEL WOOD, CAMILLE HOVE, LILI DOVE, SIERRA PATHEAL, WES YOUNG, DAVID CASARRUBIAS, TYLER DEAN, JOVANNA MADRIGAL, ALLISON GOERTZ, JOE RASHIDI, CHRIS JIMENEZ, JAMIE PEREZ, KIMBERLY TORREZ, DAVID NARVAEZ, FIONA IRVINE, ERIC HERNANDEZ, JENNIFER CIERRA, CHRIS DE GUZMAN, DJ SELDERS Disclaimer and Publication Information
The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI, or CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
Questions? Comments? Kumquats?! Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd., Suite 116, Long Beach,CA 90815 Phone: 562.985.4867 E-mail: info@lbunion.com Web: www.lbunion.com
VINCENT CHAVEZ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
H
ey queens, I’ve had a couple of conversations lately where I’ve had to define the essence of this paper. Usually my explanation involves the words “thought-provoking,” “funny,” “liberal,” and “different.” One such exchange was between a professor and myself, in which he informed me that a colleague of his had sworn off the Union. I sighed and rattled off the list of our past controversies in hopes that he’d stop me once I’d hit on the reason why we’d lost his co-worker’s readership. Was it the misconstrued sexism of the “How to Get Laid” feature three years back? Or the racial insensitivity of the Pow Wow article written nearly two years ago? Or maybe it was that time current Grunion Editor, The Duchess “of Touches” of Spain, was caught pleasuring herself in front of and to the statue of Prospector Pete? Well, turns out his colleague had stopped reading because he’d found the content “homophobic.” I
Illustration
ROSE FEDUK COMICS EDITOR
paused to consider this statement as I was both shocked and a little hurt. Why would he or she think such a thing? In order to understand my dismay, let me take you on a short history of our commitments to LGBTQ issues in the last three years I’ve been apart of the Union. For one, each National Coming Out Week our feature has centered around queer stories and voices, ranging from coming out stories to an essay arguing the progress of gays in America from an ally’s perspective. These issues usually also include queer content for other sections like a reviews of queer cinema like Born In Flames or Weekend, a piece on the work’s of gay author David Sedaris, news and opinions articles ranging from samesex marriage, gay dating advice, and the religious struggles gay individuals face. And on top of this, we also publish the Outlist, a list of LGBTQ individuals and allies publicly expressing their pride and
support for the queer community. This year is no exception: you can find this year’s Outlist on page 10. So I really don’t understand where we took a homophobic turn. Then again perhaps our transgression against the LGBTQ community occurred before my time. The Union has a legacy and each year, the incoming editor-in-chief and the paper itself inherits that legacy, for better or worse. Though this week’s feature is packed to the gills with gay content, please do not think we simply relegate LGBTQ stories to one issue a year. We, and I in particular, encourage gay content all year round. The Union is an equal opportunity paper, a meritocracy and by no means an exclusive club. So get your quills out and write, dammit! Send Away! Can’t make it to our open meetings? Email your content and questions to me: editorinchief@lbunion.com. I will have my secretary screen and forward them to me (my secretary is me in a wig).
?
WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE HERE’S HOW:
1. Read the Union. You’re already doing this. So far so good.
2. Come to a Meeting. Every Tuesday at 7pm in the NEW Union Office. Now with fewer rats. (Next to the pool tables in the USU)
3. Write an Article. This step is pretty important, so don’t forget to do it. Seriously, write yourself a note.
SEND ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS TO EDITORINCHIEF@LBUNION.COM UNION WEEKLY
8 OCTOBER 2012
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OPINIONS
POLITICAL TACT-ICS BIG BIRD WOULDN’T APPROVE MICHAEL WOOD CONTRIBUTOR
T
he recent presidential debates were, for the most part, a snore fest. President Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romney seemed to be reading off of the same cue cards the whole time while they professed their love of tax cuts, better access to health care, and their commitment to creating millions of new jobs in the country. There is no reason to believe either of them will deliver based on Romney’s track record in Massachusetts and Obama’s past 4 years in the presidency. While both have proven themselves to be adept and competent politicians, that’s all they are: politicians. But one thing that stood out to me in the debates was not the 5 trillion dollars of unsustainable tax cuts that we all expect from Romney, Obama’s shameless pandering to the working class that he ignores in the Oval Office, the typical jabs at green energy by Romney, or Obama’s jabs at Romney’s aristocratic upbringing. What stood out to me was how profoundly rude Romney was toward the moderator Jim Lehrer.
Granted, Lehrer was not the man for the job. The relatively sluggish and thoughtful moderator seems to be a relic from the days before the 24 hour news cycle, 15 second sound bytes, and buzzing real time commentary by political bloggers from the lowest levels of sites like Tumblr. Lehrer seems to be stuck in the days of the daily newspaper and an hour or two of TV news coverage being all the news that one needs to know. His slow, thoughtful, measured responses did not fare well in a debate dominated by quick thinking on both sides. But that does not in any way excuse Romney from his rude treatment of Lehrer. For a man who seeks to hold the foremost position of power in the entire world, I would expect a certain measure of respect, courtesy, and, most of all, diplomacy. Romney promised to work with Democratic legislators and keep an open, bipartisan dialogue between the two parties, but one could hardly believe this when he couldn’t even maintain a civil on-screen relationship with a non-partisan moderator, whose only
job is to keep the debate lively and moving along at a reasonable pace. If he can’t maintain presidential decorum with the moderator of the debate, how would he ever be able to do so with foreign leaders and representatives of foreign powers? Romney at one point threw a temper tantrum that made him seem more akin to a spoiled toddler in a supermarket than a presidential candidate. He insisted on having the last word because President Obama spoke first and seemed to get personal by promising to defund PBS, the network that Mr. Lehrer has worked for during the majority of his career, all while wearing his trademark shit-eating grin. While Obama was not entirely civil and ignored debate rules himself, he kept his composure and tended towards the side of respect rather than impatience. Romney, however, made little effort to display respect to a man entirely deserving of his respect. The former long time host of PBS’s newshour must have been astonished to receive such treatment at the hands of a
man a few percentage points away from the highest office in the land. Romney, I have long disagreed with you on many issues, but prior to this debate, I respected you as a politician and a brilliant man. That sort of adversarial respect is critical in all facets of politics, both domestic and international. But after this debate, I can’t bear to respect you. In my mind, you are the same as Bill O’ Reilly, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and the dozens of other political pundits who not only push an extremist message but do so in such a combative and rude manner that they adversely affect our democracy as a whole, drawing us to the spectacle of an issue rather than the importance and vitality of it. Romney, there is nothing left to say to you other than to have fun come November. The electorate is not stupid and while every pundit claims you have won the debate, you have lost the respect of the viewing public and all who witnessed your shenanigans during one of the sacred tenants of our democracy, the debate.
NOT WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD A TECHIE’S VIEW OF APPLE, INC. ERIC HERNANDEZ CONTRIBUTOR
For those who have recently decided to purchase a new Macbook Pro, or that awesome 160 gigabyte iPod to hold your whopping 324 song collection: did you really put in any effort into actually understanding what you were purchasing before you dished out twelve hundred dollars for that lap-burning inferno? Let me put in layman’s terms what Apple’s marketing scheme is. Apple is a company that over the years has not delivered much in revolutionizing the market of technology. They attempt to release “brand new and revolutionary” items to market that will completely smoke their predecessor, either a computer, phone, or iPod that came out one to two years ago, out of the water.
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To top that off, they increase the prices of a piece of technology, literally made three or four years ago, to nearly twice or three times the price. Why? Because they know that no one who doesn’t research or understand computers can put a price on .20 GHz of CPU power (that basically means how fast the CPU, or the brain of the computer, is working), or how much two extra inches of a laptop screen costs, so we as consumers get drawn in and buy without reading up. This can be proven with a simple visit to the Apple website. Just build your own Mac Pro (just the tower, not the monitor) and put all the best parts you can into it. I can already tell you that the ultimate price of the Mac Pro will be above $17,000. Believe me,
that is absurd, only because with all those components it should be around three thousand dollars at most and most of that chunk of money is coming from hard drives and not actual components. Talking about actual specs, let’s go into the new iPhone 5 and compare it with the iPhone 4s. They are virtually identical with the exception of a larger screen, a slimmer body, a new (and pointless) lightning connector, and a 33% faster processor. Really, those are the most notable differences between the two. Why are people buying it? Because it’s new, it has a 5 on it, and it costs $100 more, go figure! Not to mention the substantial amount of money they will make on adapters and new accessories for the new
lightning connector. It’s all a game of change and charge, or in simpler terms, a game of extra. Okay, so people don’t mind paying for something because they like Apple products. It seems fair since I too was once an Apple fanboy, but a company who openly shows their lack of care for their products’ true potentials and focuses on the profit they can gain is a company I do not wish to associate with. Look past the trends, don’t let Apple take advantage of your lack of computer knowledge, save your money, and buy Android or Windows. Your wallet, or your parents’ wallet, will thank you.
OPINIONS
TESTING, TESTING MIDTERMS ARE NECESSARY EVILS SIERRA PATHEAL CONTRIBUTOR
Backpacks are getting progressively heavier. Stressed, drawn expressions have begun to appear on every face, smiles are a little forced, and movements evince an unmistakable mixture of tension and exhaustion. The only detour suffered on the way to the fourth-floor study rooms is the interminable wait at the library Starbucks for something with three shots of espresso and too much sugar, anything to offset the hours of sleep sacrificed to Biology last night, and with the test in two hours, desperation has already begun to set in. Midterm season has returned. Midterms: the bane of the student existence, with the possible exception of finals—or at least, that seems to be the general view. Much as I’d like to; however, I can’t argue for their eternal abolishment. Here’s why: when you think about it, midterms are actually a good thing. I know, a preposterous, almost antistudent comment, right? But remember,
midterms offer the first serious opportunity for you to assess your knowledge during the semester. If you discover you need to adjust your study habits, you still have time to do so before the final. Additionally, having tests periodically throughout the semester forces you to study the topic semicontinuously, as opposed to waiting until the week before finals to begin memorizing. If you’re doing all-nighters for midterms, just imagine how much worse things would be if you hadn’t looked at the material for the last three months. On that same line of reasoning, midterms break the topic up into smaller chunks and offer a buffer zone against the dreaded cumulative final at the end of the year. Even if you only score 70% on a midterm, if that midterm is only worth 30% of your grade, you still have the potential to get an A in the class (though you’ll have to work at it). If the final had been the only test determining your entire grade, the C- would be irreparable.
Midterms also offer the possibility of being scheduled separately, presenting the mythical prospect of only needing to work on one class at a time, as opposed to finals week, which by its very nature guarantees too many tests crammed into far too little time. Of course, this possibility is usually negated by professors who quite logically decide that if there’s only one midterm, it should come right in the middle of the semester, two should be scheduled evenly at thirds, and so on, resulting in the familiar, battering waves of midterm season, but the possibility exists nonetheless. One can hope, right? Finally, and quite possibly most importantly, midterms allow you to see how the professor tests before the be-all, endall final exam rolls around. I know plenty of people who consider the first midterm a practice round of sorts, a chance to “try out” the professor’s exams, see what they’re doing wrong, and do better on the next one. To a certain extent, I do this myself.
Midterms offer students a place to fail, if necessary, in relative safety. And trust me, no matter how stressful they may be, the alternative would be worse. I mean, just imagine it: you’ve gone to class all semester and covered a broad spectrum of topics. The final is Monday, and although you kept up alright during the semester, you’re just now realizing you have no idea what to focus on. You don’t even remember writing some of this stuff (and what exactly is that word supposed to be?). Since you have no clue what the professor will be looking for, you’ll have to study everything—which is a little overwhelming, considering the final is cumulative and you’ve covered a lot of material, not having to take any time out for tests and review sessions. Looks like a few all-nighters. Oh, and don’t forget—you’re doing this for every one of your five classes. Make that an all-monther. I vote for midterm stress, personally.
BATTTLE TETRIS, MORE LIKE THAT OLE TEMPTRESS GETTING OFF ON GAMING BRIANNE SCHAER NEWS DIRECTOR
I was never supposed to play Facebook games. Since the great FarmVille epidemic of 2009, I swore I would never become victim to the time-wasting, life-sucking, newsfeed-clogging mess associated with such nonsense. I had to block friend after friend because I couldn’t stand to see another offering of livestock. Now, the tables have turned, as I’m sure I’ve lost a few friends due to my addiction to Tetris Battle. Or maybe it was the unrelenting fleet of cat pictures I shared. No, it couldn’t be that. Everybody loves cats. After a few summer months of having no job, no car, and no class (pathetic, I know), I decided I must do something with my life, and I found refuge in Tetris Battle. I could play against randomized opponents or my one real-life friend who also played for hours on end. Each time I leveled up was cause for celebration. Then, I realized my life was spiraling out of control. I would play until my red, puffy, watery eyes twitched from exhaustion. Until my fingers felt like they would fall off my hands. Until I ran out of energy. Yet through all the torment, I couldn’t manage to catch up to the toprankers on the leaderboard. These people were my friends, yet I wanted nothing more than to pass them up, one by one, until I was on top.
NICHOLE DANIELS ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
I could put that on my business card: “Brianne Schaer, Tetris Battle Master.” I haven’t accomplished that goal yet, but I’m pretty close to printing those cards anyway. I mean, who’s going to actually check that out? Lately, it’s become increasingly difficult to squeeze in my Tetris Battle time. Whether I have to sneak a few games in between classes, or stay up a little later to play a few battles, I make sure to get my fix. It’s so sad. I shouldn’t have succumbed to this lifestyle. I’m too pretty to be hopelessly addicted to a video game, much less one on Facebook. I have too much going for me. How will my future career as a model turned talk show host turned business mogul (i.e. Tyra Banks) ever pan out if I have the weight of my Tetris Battle reputation on the line? That’s a lot of stress. On that note, my stress level has been building since I started writing this article, since I’ve only taken a few short breaks between paragraphs to play my favorite Facebook game. I should probably get back to that right now. Actually, I can’t. I can’t because I’m out of energy. I guess it’s time to watch another video. Better idea: I’ll start working on my amazing Halloween costume. A human z-shape tetromino. Yes, it’s going to happen. I’ve officially become my own downfall. UNION WEEKLY
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NEWS
COME DOWN AND COME OUT
FROM THE SENATE CHAMBERS
CSULB HOSTS NATIONAL COMING OUT WEEK ACTIVITIES DJ SELDERS CONTRIBUTOR
W
e’re here, we’re queer, and hopefully you’re already used to it. Nevertheless, it’s time for us to celebrate with National Coming Out Week (technically it’s National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11, but we’re taking a week anyway). We start off Tuesday by allowing all students to literally come out of the closet. No, Seriously. Across campus we will have closet doors for students to see and use. It seems like a silly metaphor but if you do happen to cross paths with a door, take a minute to think about what it means to open up that door, reveal your true self; and have the courage to face the world for better and for worse. This week we’ll also be presenting the Coming Out Wall at the Speaker’s Platform. On this wall, we give every student the chance to finish the sentence, “I’m coming out as...” It doesn’t have to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, two-spirited, pansexual, ally, intersex, queer, questioning, straight, or any of the LGBTIQLMNOP that I have undoubtedly missed. Pick something that you’re proud to say is part of how you define yourself.
I want to see parents, athletes, nerds, jugglers, artists, writers, and drag queens (please God, let there be a bunch of drag queens) all over that wall. Thursday is our day of creativity. CSULB’s very own Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) will be hosting a Queer art exhibit at the multicultural center, just across from the Psych building. Here, we will display the many talents of your local queer artists as well as allies whose art will portray Queer topics of interest. And, as with all great events involving art, there will be free snacks. Also, shameless plug, be sure to look out for GSA’s variety show coming up in November. I am most proud of National Coming Out Week’s institution of “CSULB Support Love” t-shirts. Laura Kaiser, secretary for LGBTIQ affairs in ASI, had this great idea to give queer organizations on campus these t-shirts. I’m here to let you know that if you see anyone, and I mean ANYONE, in one of these shirts, that person is totally willing to help you and/or your friend in the process of coming out or even just establishing a pro-LGBTIQ relationship in their life at CSULB. Studies show that a strong sense of
JOSEPH PHILLIPS
COLLEGE OF LIBERAL ARTS SENATOR
community is a great deterrent of LGBTIQ suicide. Feel free to meet me in my office hours for a full APA reference list. When it comes down to it, National Coming Out Week isn’t for the out and proud. It’s a display for the closeted to show that if you’re willing to put yourself out there, there is a community waiting to welcome you and help you through whatever obstacles come your way. And that your representatives in ASI are here to aid you in whatever you’re looking for in your college experience.
CRIME-SOLVING METHODS CAUSE STIR LAW ENFORCEMENT USE NEW ONLINE TOOLS TO CATCH CRIMINALS DAVID CASARRUBIAS CONTRIBUTOR
Law enforcement worldwide is quickly discovering that social media can be used as an effective tool to solve crime. Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter are being utilized by law enforcement to inform the public of natural disaster, offender, and terrorist threats. Twitter and Facebook have users ranging in the upper hundred millions, providing law enforcement a wealth of human resources. Unlike TV or radio, in which someone has to be tuned into in order to get urgent information, social media can be accessed immediately on smart phones. Connectedcops.net and a few other innovative platforms like ConnectedCOPS post articles that exude examples of how law enforcement continues to use social media worldwide. In the first annual ConnectedCOPS awards, in which law enforcement agencies around the world were awarded for their use of social media in crucial situations, the Queensland police in New South Wales won the Social Media Incident Management Award, for alerting Queensland about a deadly flash-flood declared a disaster. The Queensland Police Service Facebook page was reported to have received “a record 39 million story views
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in 24 hours, the equivalent of 450 hits per second,” according to ConnectCOPS.net. In recent crime precedents, offenders have unknowingly given up their privacy by publishing comments on their social media pages. When someone publishes a comment on their social media page, that information can be made accessible by authorities — even if their profile is set to private. Melvin Colon, a New York gangbanger, was charged with murder and other related crimes after he posted incriminating photos and comments on his Facebook page. A judge told CNN, “Colon’s legitimate expectation of privacy ended when he disseminated posts to his ‘friends’ because those ‘friends’ were free to use the information however they wanted.” Law enforcement’s use of behavioral monitoring is becoming more prevalent. According to mashable.com, “Operationally or tactically, police units can aggregate, filter, and analyze a social media stream in a given policing area and look for conversations ahead of planned events such as demonstrations.” When an anonymous Twitter user threatened to open fire on Longacre Theater in New York last August, the NYPD accosted Twitter reps for the user’s
identity, which was initially refused. “While we do invoke emergencydisclosure procedures when it appears that a threat is present, specific and immediate, this does not appear to fall under those strict parameters as per our policies,” a Twitter spokeswoman said, according to newsday.com. Law enforcement has also been known to create fake Facebook accounts to set up potential offenders, which administrators deactivate if discovered. Law enforcement has to obtain a warrant or subpoena to get an individual’s private information from these networks, but the requirement for a warrant can be overridden in a dangerous situation. “Public safety is a major area where agencies, particularly law enforcement, are looking at the value of social media participation and monitoring despite complex issues like privacy intrusion and real-time effectiveness during an unfolding crisis,” according to mashable.com. Although controversial, law enforcement’s use of social media to solve crime has proven to be effective. social media is 100 percent free, and as it continues to be a successful tool in solving crime, it doesn’t look like law enforcement will be dissuaded from using it anytime soon.
The LBSU Ice Hockey team knows how to destroy, and destroy they did on Friday night against Fullerton with the final scoreboard reading 4-1. There were fights, general mayhem, and an appetite for Fullerton blood that left the crowd at the end screaming “Fullerton Go Home.” Team Captain #17 James Robelotto had this to say about the game: “It’s always a good time when we play Fullerton because they are our cross-town rivals, which makes it especially fun to beat them. That’s our fourth straight win so we’re hoping to keep it rolling!” With more than 400 fans in attendance, it is easy to see why these games are so popular. For one, there are multiple fights or at least episodes of intense shit-talking, most noticeably by crowd favorite #19 Ian Hoang. This guy needs a medal for being one hell of a dude, charging through guys about twice his size, getting ejected from the game for kicking Fullerton ass, etc. A second reason why these games are so popular is for the good cheap beer. If you get a pitcher, it is like getting five $3.00 beers, which adds to all the belligerent glory. Thirdly, these games have very passionate fans. Our Vice President Jonathon Bolin is there every home game to support the team. Long Beach State’s President F. King Alexander was present to drop the puck and show his support to the team. From then on, things picked up pretty fast building into a 1-0 lead by LBSU that lasted through the first period. What must be said is that Fullerton definitely had one hell of a big goalie. Whereas our defense kept their shots down to bare minimum, many of our team’s shots got intercepted. By the second period, there was a brief moment of distress when there was a tie, but this ended with our gaining another goal. The third period was the moment of conflict between the two teams, where with about six minutes left, the two teams got into a fight leading into at least two ejections. After scoring two more goals, 4-1, there was definitely a taste of tension in the air that looked like it was going to spill out into another fight with a mere 7 seconds left. Our Ice Hockey team is what our university needs in terms of sports heroes to look up to. These men go out every week and win games to further the name and prestige of Long Beach State. Return the favor and make sure to show up this Friday at 7:20 p.m. at Glacial Gardens in Lakewood to bear witness to the slaughter of Colorado University.
OUTLIST 2012 We are students, professors, coworkers, roommates, teammates, alum, friends, and family, and we are just a few of the intelligent, creative, and supportive lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals - and allies of LGBTQ individuals - who are part of the diverse California State University, Long Beach community. We invite you to join us in celebrating National Coming Out Day (October 11) at California State University, Long Beach. Joanna Acosta, Student, Social Work; Folashade Alford, Student, Creative Writing; Dr. Sabrina Alimahomed, Faculty, WGSS & Sociology; Maritza Alva, Student, Sociology; Tasia Anderson, Student, Social Work; Dr. Ferdinand Arcinue, Faculty, CaPS; Tiffany Arroyo, Student, Social Work; Dr. Pamela Ashe, Faculty, Counseling and Psychological Services; Jacqueline Audet, Student, Art: Drawing and Painting; Yue Begay, Student, Marine Biology; Crystal Bernhard-Converse, Student, Chicano/Latino Studies; Janet Blawn, Student, Social Work; Chelsea Boyle, Student, Social Work; Blake Brewster, Student, Biology Cell/Molec; Nicole Burgos, Student, Social Work; Helen Burke, Student, Anthropology; Heidi Burkey, Staff, Student Health Services; Matt Cabrera, Staff, Student Life and Development; Jimmy Cabrera, Student MSW; Dr. Aaron Cargile, Faculty, Communication Studies; Jay Carlon, Alumni, MFA in Dance; Maureen Carter, Student, Social Work; David Casarrubias, Student, Political Science; Ignacio Castor, Staff, Center for International Education; Parker Chalmers, Alumni, Student Development in Higher Education; Vincent Chavez, Student, English; Christina Chen, Student, German/History/Women’s Gender and Sexuality Studies; Scott ChristophersonSchorn, Staff, ASI/USU; Dr. Kirstyn Chun, Faculty, Counseling and Psychological Services; Dr. Maria Claver, Faculty, FCS-Gerontology; Dr. Brad Compliment, Staff, CaPS; Jazmine Contreras, Student, History; Armando Contreras, Jr., Student, Social and Cultural Analysis of Education, College of Education; Jill Cooper, Student, Social Work; Sarah Crachiolo, Faculty, Communication Studies; Kayla Crow, Alumni, Political Science and English; Tom Crowe, Faculty, Social Work; Dr. Rashida Crutchfield, Faculty, Social Work; Sharon Cruz, Staff, College of Health and Human Services; Juliette Daitch, Student, Social Work; Hanh Dang, Student, Social Work; Justin De Los Santos, Student, Political Science; Wohona Delgadillo, Student, Studio Art – Illustration; Maya DeNola, Student, Social Work; Ronaldo Diaz, Alumni, English/Technical & Professional Communication Certificate; Gene Dinielli, Faculty, English; Mia Dolgorouky, Student, Sociology/Child Development; Jennifer Donaldson, Student, Design; Shereen Lisa Dudar, Student, Journalism; Robert Duggins, Student, Psychology; Thanh Duong, Student, Social Work; Tom Enders, Staff, Enrollment Services; Dr. Gabriel Estrada, Faculty, American Indian Studies; Lisa Fascia, Staff, Social Work; Hugo Flores, Alumni, Business Marketing; Mike Foster, Faculty, Social Work; Dr. Ragan Fox, Faculty, Communication Studies; Dr. Hank Fradella, Faculty, Criminal Justice; Katie George, Student, Social Work; Matt Gilbert, Student, Music; Ashley Gilliam, Student, Illustration; Laura Gomez, Student, Social Work; Alecia Gonzales, Student, Social Work; Melissa Gonzalez, Alumni, Communication Studies; Salina Goytia, Student, Hospitality Management; Fernando Guerrero, Student, Psychology; Diana Guzman, Student, Psychology; John Haberstroh, Student, History; Richard Haller, Staff, Associated Students, Inc.; Dr. Deborah Hamm, Faculty, Teacher Education; Sasha Harvey, Student, Marine Biology; Dr. Diane Hayashino, Faculty, CaPS; Henri Haycraft, Student, Undeclared; Cris Hernandez, Staff, History; Alisha Herrick, Staff, WGSS; Asialani Holman, Student, Theatre; Damon Holzum, Student, MSW; Christine Hudson, Student, Ceramics; Chuck Hulsey, Staff, Child Welfare Training Centre; Jonathan Isco, Student, Social Work; Dr. Lisa Jennings, Faculty, School of Social Work; Tiffiany Jones, Alumni, Social Work; Sungwoo Kim, Student, Art History; Brennan Klein, Student, Film; Shiori Koga, Student, Social Work; Dr. Peter Kreysa, Faculty, Family and Consumer Sciences; Dr. Cheryl Lee, Faculty, School of Social Work; Tiffany Lin, Student, MSW; Brittany Little, Student, Social Work; Andrea Lomeli, Student, History; Ivan Lopez, Student Studio Art; Mariha Lowe, Student, Film and Electronic Arts; Dr. Peter Lowentrout, Faculty, Religious Studies; Daniel Luna, Student, French; Mery Macario, Student, Social Work; Alejandra Madridf, Student, MSW; Bryan Malinis, Student, Communication Studies; Matthew Marek, Student, Political Science; Rosie Marmolejo, Student, Social Work; Dr. Nancy Martin, Faculty, Sociology; Nancy Matthews, Faculty, Recreation & Leisure Studies; Alfredo Mayen, Student, English, Creative Writing; Caylen McDonald, Student, Human Development; Megan McKinzie, Alumni, MS Biology; Abigail Mejia, Student, Political Science; Dr. Nancy Meyer-Adams, Faculty, Social Work; Shefali Mistry, Alumni, School of Art, ASI; Dr. Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Faculty, English; Karen Miyahara, Staff, Health Science; Dr. Christian Molidor, Faculty, Social Work; Kristen Muche, Student, Social Work; Deidre Munson, Student, Social Work; Daniel Murillo, Student, Psychology; Kristen Muster, Faculty, Social Work; Lisa Nagy, Student, Social Work; Anthony Nget, Student, Film; David Vien Nguyen, Student, Nursing; Catherine Nguyen, Student, Social Work; Dr. Julie O’Donnell, Faculty, Social Work; Jaelen Owens, Student, Psychology; Marie Painton, Student, Social Work; Chami Pang, Student, Health Care Administration; 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PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS FOR SIGN-SPECIFIC HALLOWEEN COSTUMES DR. CONDOLEEZZA “CONDY” BEACH BS/MFT/MD, STAR GURU
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ROSE FEDUK COMICS EDITOR
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FROM PERTURBED TO PUBLISHED MY INDUCTION INTO THE WORLD OF GAY LITERATURE JENNIFER CIERRA CONTRIBUTOR
Gravitation Gravitation.
Gravitation
Gravitation UNION WEEKLY
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MUSIC
WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS
WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT GIRLS AND GUITARS CHRIS DE GUZMAN CONTRIBUTOR
I
never thought I could pick up any instrument or ever learn music. Unlike most of my other friends, I never joined orchestra or marching band in elementary or middle school; my parents could never afford it. And to this day I still lack any kind of understanding of music theory just like Mac and iPhone users lack any common sense about technology. Five years ago, I was a sophomore in high school, and at the time I was dating someone who played many instruments, primarily piano and percussion. She never really encouraged me to pick up an instrument, but for our one-year anniversary I was determined to at least learn a simple four chord song on guitar to amuse her. I figured guitar was a rather simple instrument to learn to play any kind of music. This was just before all the Asian hype-beasts started picking up their damn ukuleles. I still don’t enjoy those four stringed little bastards. My older sister left a few things around the house when she moved out: some dirty laundry, vintage furniture, the rear bumper of her car, some dog poop in the yard and some pet hair stuck on the couch. But more importantly, she left behind her guitar. It was a Gilb classical guitar that she had bought while in Mexico. I had nothing better to do during that winter. So I unzipped it from the case and looked at it, running my hand down the neck and along its beautiful curves. And sure, I peeked into its soundhole, too. Last time I had ever touched a guitar, I was about three years old and was amused that every time I plucked at the string like it was a sling shot the contraption made noise. So before I could torture anyone’s ears by playing all the wrong notes and chords on this instrument, I turned to the one entity I always had faith in... the internet. I posted up a bulletin on Myspace asking
Musicians
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UNION WEEKLY
8 OCTOBER 2012
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NICHOLE DANIELS ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
if anyone knew any links or websites that could help get me started. My homie Adrian linked me to the YouTube page of some British musician named Justin Sandercoe. “Yo dawg, check this fool out and teach yourself,” said the homie. And so I did just that. I began learning some basic chords on the guitar, however strumming didn’t feel natural to me. I felt like it would be a few months before I could ever play my first song, but then on the side of the JustinGuitar page was a video on how to play “Silent Night.” It was around Christmas time, so why the hell not try this? I began watching the video and was delighted to hear how beautiful the song sounded on guitar. There was no strumming or need for a pick; all the notes were played by finger-picking. The song seemed really hard, but in the Spirit of Christmas, I felt obligated to play it. And so I did. I spent that whole night learning that song and I virtually mastered it the next day. If I could play this song, what else could I learn? After Christmas I spent a $20 Walmart gift card on a book: Learning Guitar: For Dummies. I don’t know why I bought it when I clearly had the Internet, but I saw nothing else worth buying with my only Christmas present. I gazed through the book and there were a lot of old school songs like “Maggie May,” “Blackbird,” “Tears in Heaven,” and so on. The only song I recognized that seemed like I could learn at the time was “Dust in the Wind.” It was a finger-picking song. I ended up learning that song quickly too, and soon I was picking up other common songs that other guitarists knew, like “Stairway to Heaven.” I never did end up learning a song in time to play for my girlfriend. Why? Simple. We broke up. Now that I was single, I had way more time to do whatever the hell I wanted and this included learning more
guitar. At this point, I became really serious about playing the guitar. No longer was it just something I did when I was really bored, it actually became a serious hobby. I became one of those guys in high school who would always bring a guitar to class, and towards the end of the period when there was nothing else to do, I would be playing quietly in the back. No one really minded me, but occasionally there would be a random girl asking me if I could play songs by Passion or Aj Rafael. “Who the hell are they?” I said. But eventually I did, and learned some of their music just to please them. My style of playing was more soft, slow, and the girls apparently liked this because it “wooed” them. I didn’t intend to serenade the women, but when they got to know me, the fact I played guitar was their favorite, if not only, quality they liked about me. In fact, while at a summer camp, the only reason ANY girl started a conversation with me was because I was by myself playing guitar. I’m usually shy and awkward anyway, so once they started talking to me they found that person behind the guitar was an uninteresting and unattractive person. Then I met this one girl. Let’s just call
her “Leanne.” This was only a few months after I started guitar. She enjoyed my style of playing, and we shared similar tastes in music. She told me to check out an artist called “Gabe Bondoc.” Again, never heard of this fool, but for this girl, I’d learn any song to make her smile. As shy and awkward as I was, I was really comfortable around her. I learned all sorts of songs to express how I felt about her. We never got together though, and she ended up with some douche who drove a Mustang and probably played guitar better than I did. After that, I learned a bunch of sad songs on guitar. Years passed. At my high school graduation, I performed Green Day’s “Time of your Life” with two other musician friends of mine. Many new songs were learned over the years, several songs were performed, and some songs forgotten. Several women came, and all of them left. At least I still had my guitar. I tried playing other instruments, like piano, ukulele, violin, and even harmonica. None of them felt as natural to me as the guitar did. For me, guitar was a perfect outlet to express my emotions. Whatever I felt, I played. And usually along those chords, there’s a story about a girl. As long as my fingers can move, I’ll always be playing guitar.
ENTERTAINMENT
EAT YOUR HEART OUT HOLLYWOOD A REVIEW OF MY FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES NATHAN CRUZ
I
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
am one busy motherfucker. I have two jobs, I am taking 17 units, and I have an editing gig here at the Union Weekly. I have been perpetually stressed since late August and I am severely sleep deprived. I am not the type of person to plan out my weekend nights in excruciating detail. I come home from work at around 7p.m. on Fridays and most of the time I usually end up falling asleep. This Friday I felt spontaneous and I decided to seize the moment. I headed to a friend’s house, asked if he wanted to go to the movies and off we went. Lately I’ve heard nothing but amazing reviews about The Master and I’ve been aching to watch the film but my friend and I missed the show time. Then the next idea was to watch Looper. We missed that show time as well. Then the last choice by default was to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower. We sat down, the lights began to dim and the theater was full of high school kids. Usually I love movie trailers, but these trailers were really bad. Actually, these movie trailers were horrible. The first one was a Les Misérables featurette. The film stars a decent cast including: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, and Eddie Redmayne. The selling point of this featurette highlights that this was filmed with actors who sang live on set rather than mimed to a pre-recorded playback. Ooo. Innovative! Not.
Next up was a trailer for Chasing Mavericks. This film is based on a true story of a surfer bro (Jonny Weston) from Northern California who feels like he was “meant for something more.” This bro discovers that the legendary wave, Mavericks, the biggest wave in the world, is real. RADICAL. So he decides he wants to surf Mavericks and then finds an older surfer bro mentor (Gerard Butler) to help him achieve his dream. This film seems very predictable. I can only take a wild guess that he overcomes the obstacles he faces in school and with his family and decides to surf Mavericks and he probably doesn’t die doing it. I am not interested but this will probably appeal to most fans of The O.C. Then there was the trailer for The Impossible. Set in 2004, the trailer begins with a British family on vacation in Indonesia. Everything is picturesque with mom (Naomi Watts), dad (Ewan McGregor) and three boys. Then I thought, “oh wait, isn’t that around the time when that tsunami hit…?” Sure enough, there is a huge wave that appears in the distance while the family is in their lavish swimming pool. We see that the family tragically split up; the mom with one boy and the dad with the other two. They appear to survive the disaster and the plot of the film is about their “impossible” journey to reunite. I guess 8 years is enough time to make a film about this tragic event,
but despite the impressive lead cast, why did Hollywood choose to make a film featuring a white family when most of those who perished in the disaster were Indonesian? Of course a lot of people lost their lives during this natural disaster, but it begs the question: would we pay a lot of money to see a story about a native family’s trials and triumphs? Their perspectives? By this time, my cynicism was at an alltime high and I’m sure the couple sitting behind me were annoyed by my obnoxious comments for each of the movie trailers. After spending a few years removed from the typical Friday night movie theater culture, I felt heavily alienated. I used to go to the movies every weekend when I was in middle and high school and now I can’t help but to question the shit that Hollywood execs feed the masses. It’s disgusting. And just when I thought I hit my limit, then comes another trailer. I took a deep breath, planted my face in palms, and did my best to survive the Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 trailer. After being bombarded by that slew of Hollywood shit, when the featured presentation started, I already had very low expectations. For one, I love the novel The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I read it my senior year of high school and it is something most teenagers can relate to. The coming of age story of the wide-eyed
freshman, Charlie, is very relatable. He is a misfit who deals with some very serious issues who is just trying to survive the hellhole known as high school. The fact that the novel author Stephen Chbosky chose to direct it was promising, but as we all know the translation from novel to film is not always the most seamless transition. I left the theater with a lot of likes and dislikes about this film. The film made depression look cute and that says a lot. Depression is not cute! Depression is horrible. It romanticized the idea of being a fucked up misfit. It probably inspired a new generation of manic pixies and sad eye boys to fall in love with them. The movie felt like a soft-core version of a real drama, like a teenage nephew of Garden State. However, I do appreciate the fact that some “real life” issues are being brought to semi-mainstream consciousness. This film can be seen to serve as a platform in the struggle to destigmatize depression, homosexuality, and child abuse, and streamline an awareness and conversation that is dangerously absent in youth culture. It can do some important things for us. The moral of The Perks of Being a Wallflower is: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Well, as an audience I think we accept the films we think we deserve. Never stop questioning anything, especially Hollywood.
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS...
PEELING AWAY AT THE ORANGES TYLER DEAN CONTRIBUTOR
What happens when a suburban husband falls in love with the twentysomething daughter of his best friend across the street? Well, depending on which film you’re watching, there’s usually a giant shit storm and then an ending befitting that of basically every bra-burning feminist textbook theory known to man. Yeah, The Oranges is that kind of film. From IMDB: “The enduring friendship between the Walling and Ostroff families is tested when Nina, the prodigal Ostroff daughter (Leighton Meester, Gossip Girl), returns home for the holidays after a fiveyear absence and enters into an affair with David, head of the Walling family.” Like I said, nothing new. Let’s get it out right off the bat, this movie is a mess. About five minutes into the affair you
know exactly how it’s going to go, all the twists and turns, all the heartache, all of the mixed feelings you begin to accumulate as the story hits its climax, and then that sigh of relief when all is returned to normalcy. The Oranges misses a golden opportunity at nearly every juncture. A story about “forbidden love” (and I’m not talking Les Cousins Dangereux) is nothing new, but the journey which the film attempts to take us on, riddled with cliché after tired cliché and cookie-cutter characters, is so pejoratively homogeneous in its tact that it ultimately renders the admittedly brave theme of acquiring happiness moot. However, in its failure to establish itself, The Oranges did ask some interesting questions. The first time we’re shown David Walling (Hugh Laurie, House M.D.) making
out with Nina Ostroff, I found myself more than a little uncomfortable. Nonetheless, right there, twenty minutes into the film, I thought I had it pinned and was almost (almost) mad at myself for choosing it over Taken 2. At least with the latter I could’ve found some fun new adjectives to use in ripping it apart. But then something very surprising happened—the film, after going through the loathsomely inevitable task of revealing to all parties involved that this middle-aged man was screwing a 20-year-old, began to convince me that sometimes happiness is found in the oddest, and the most inappropriate, of circumstances. Make no mistake, it’s a little weird watching a father cock-block his son (who’d initially been courting Nina), but I suppose that’s
just how life is sometimes, weird. I began to muse over all these paradigms, all of the cultural socio-normative expectations that we have so ingrained into our psyche of what’s “acceptable.” And then a disturbing thought rang through my mind: in the rush to conform, have we forgotten what happiness is? Are we happy with our lives? But that’s not the story The Oranges ultimately wants to tell apparently, when in the last 15 minutes everyone gets what they want EXCEPT the very two people who the story is actually about. One is reminded of a pesky toddler who decides to interrupt and knock over a very intense game of JENGA. With this rude awakening, I found myself leaving the theater with Freud whispering in my ear: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and sometimes a dud is just a dud. UNION WEEKLY
8 OCTOBER 2012
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LITERATURE
PUTTING BOOKS IN READERS’ HANDS, NOT IN STORAGE CLOSETS THE LGBT RESOURCE CENTER HAS THEIR VERY OWN LIBRARY AND BOOK CLUB Intro by
L
MARCO BELTRAN SEÑOR EDITOR
esbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer-identified individual or ally that loves reading and talking about books with other like-minded students on campus? Why not be apart of the LGBT Resource Center’s book club, Reading Rainbow? This month’s book is Hero by Perry Moore, a novel that centers on Thom Creed, a teenager coming to terms with his sexual identity as well as his newly discovered superpowers. He’s forced to hide his dual identities and acclaim from his disgraced superhero father. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like an interesting take on the superhero narratives popular in comics and literature that seem to push a heteronormative lifestyle, as well as a reflection on the complex lives that everyone lives, queer or not. The center is located in the very easy-tospot F04 room 165, where you can also find
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NICHOLE DANIELS ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
more information on the book club. It also has a really great selection of gay literature and gay resources (hence the name of the center), and knowledgeable students that can help you find or recommend a book that’s suited for your tastes. I borrowed a biography of Tennessee Williams’ life and I Hate Fun by Mifflin Lowe, which I foolishly thought I could finish in two days on top of the books I already have to read for class and my ever-growing “Will Read” stack collecting dust next to my bed. Thankfully, Leo “Webmaster/slinger” Portugal was able to review one of the books he picked up at the center. Their book-borrowing policy is based on the honor system, so utilize their varied reading material but do not abuse it or you’ll live a loveless, guilt-ridden life. So feel free to pop into the Resource Center and happy queer reading!
AKBAR & JEFF’S GUIDE TO LIFE LEO PORTUGAL WEB MANAGER
In the late ’80s, while Matt Groening was creating one minute Simpsons shorts for the Tracy Ullman Show, shorts which served as the precursor to that long-running classic cartoon comedy we all know and love, Groening was also producing the Life in Hell comic strips, published in newspapers across the country. And while the Simpson family has become the most recognizable cartoon family on the planet, let me introduce you to (or reacquaint you with) another family: Akbar and Jeff, a fez-wearing gay couple offering their Guide to Life in Groening’s cartoon book. Besides their kooky business ventures (businesses that parody everything from plastic surgery to frozen yogurt), Akbar and Jeff are a pretty typical couple. Sometimes they’re exasperated by each other, but, even more often, they seem infatuated with each other. Their feelings for one another at
any given time are often reflected by their proximity on their sometimes elongated couch (it gets really long when they need to sit far apart in a show of discomfort or anger). While the comics are mostly lighthearted fun, Akbar and Jeff are at times subjected to discrimination. In one strip the TV blares, “The Supreme Court ruled today that sodomy is a crime” (I hadn’t realized that sodomy laws were not completely banned in the United States until 2003). Akbar and Jeff momentarily scoot apart to opposite ends of the couch, but then simultaneously shout, “Damn the law!” and rejoin at the couch’s center. It’s a beautiful reaction to an ugly law. Akbar and Jeff stand together hand-inhand (and joyfully skip together hand-inhand) in the face of all adversity, whether it’s coming from society, or just from getting on each others nerves.
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UNDER THE GAY CELEBRITY SEA DISSECT MY BRAIN
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“No one wants to see that my maid told me was the popular thing among those of the homosex and the like. I feel like I can be gay if the community
two tacos going at it, it would look ugly.”
Duchess at grunion@lbunion.com.
Volume 71 Issue 7
Monday, October 8, 2012
LBUNION.COM
BLAINE “SHOCKS” AUDIENCE BY STANDING STILL
NINTENDO UNVEILS NEW DLC FOR PIKMIN 3: “BLUE SKY”
Good golly, everybody. He did it, baby. Whatever it was that he did he fucking did, it. Excuse Little Richard for cursing, babies, but David By LITTLE RICHARD “Fucking” Blaine is back, and he’s more magical than ever, Little Richard guesses. If you can really call that magic. The 39-year-old illusionist, previously known for doing some weird bungee jumping thing that didn’t turn out so good, was successful in his recent stunt
just announced new downloadable content to be released alongside the third installment in the popular Pikmin series, Pikmin BY STANLEY COOCHIE 3 called “Blue Sky,” will feature new playable characters and unlockable worlds based on Breaking Bad. Instead of retrieving ship parts and other useless metal items, you now will be able to retrieve giant blue bins of household chemicals
audience by shooting his body with a million volts of electricity. pop-up stations all over the world including Beijing, London, Tokyo, and Sydney. The audience members have the power to determine how much power the electric currents have and where the Tesla coils are directed, or so the article from which Little Richard copied that last part of this paragraph said about the fucking event. Honestly, do not give a fuck about this whole thing! Little Richard is being paid by the word to write this article so Little Richard is going to milk this thing as much high or stupid. Little Richard is an icon. Little Richard saw a bit of the live stream people looked at him and pressed buttons to try to kill him. That’s pretty much the only
he’s going to die and Little Richard wants to tune in the moment the last breath leaves his lungs, baby.” Little Richard would assume that this would be considered a failure in the entertainment department, but what the fuck does Little Richard know about entertainment? Little Richard just invented the frilly, sequined shirt and revolutionized the mullet, two fashion trends that are still in use to this day. For Blaine’s next stunt will be to raise money for Siegfried and Roy’s charity
that you and your Jesse Pikmins can work well into the night producing the purest
shot in the parking lot of the police station. game including giant buckets of Los Pollos Hermanos chicken thighs, Don Hector “Tio” Salamanca, and resident prostitute of the on include “Teddy Bear,” in which stand idly by while your Jesse Pikmin’s mates Tom,” in which you force your Jesse Pikmins to shoot their rival Pikmin before the big boss murders you. The best feature about the add-on is when calling your Pikmin close with the “B” button, they will respond with catchphrases such as “I’m coming, bitch,” and “Why don’t we mix in some chili powder, yo?”
dedicated to giving plastic surgery for tigers or some shit. Something about bending a thousand spoons with his butthole. Little Richard does not give a shit. babies. Woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo woooooo woooo wooo woooo wooo wooo wooo and woooooo.
INSIDE
LEAKED SEX TAPE BOASTS 30 MINUTES OF HULK HOGAN WHISPERING “BROTHER” INTO A FEMALE VAGINA
Romney/Obama Blow Off Steam And Each Other After First Televised Debate
Carey/Minaj Feud Hits Fever Pitch When No One Cares