ISSUE
VINCENT CHAVEZ
editorinchief@lbunion.com
COLLEEN BROWN
colleen.union@gmail.com
Editor-in-Chief
Managing Editor
GABE FERREIRA MARCO BELTRAN MELISSA CASAS
opinions@lbunion.com
Opinions Editor
BRIANNE SCHAER
news@lbunion.com
JOHN VILLANUEVA
music@lbunion.com
News Director Music Editor
NATHAN CRUZ
entertainment@lbunion.com
TORIE RIVERA
literature@lbunion.com
Literature Editor
COLLEEN BROWN Culture Editor
ROSE FEDUK Comics Editor
DUCHESS OF SPAIN Grunion Editor
GABE FERREIRA Art Director/Cover
culture@lbunion.com comic@lbunion.com grunion@lbunion.com art@lbunion.com
NICHOLE DANIELS
nichole.union@gmail.com
CONNOR O’BRIEN
connor.union@gmail.com
Illustration Editor
Photo Editor/Cover Photo Web Manager
NATHAN CRUZ
Advertising Executive
VIN’S TWO ’CENTS
marcob.union@gmail.com
Senior Editor
LEO PORTUGAL
—Werner Herzog on chickens
gabe.union@gmail.com
Managing Editor
Entertainment Editor
“TRY TO LOOK A CHICKEN IN THE EYE WITH GREAT INTENSITY, AND THE INTENSITY OF STUPIDITY LOOKING BACK AT YOU IS JUST AMAZING.”
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Contributors: JON BOLIN, TANYA PAZ, JOSEPH PHILLIPS, MARIHA LOWE, CHRISTINA CHEN, KEVIN NG, AMY PATTON, MICHAEL WOOD, MICHAEL CLELAND, SIMON BATY, WES VERNER, RACHEL CLARE, DANIEL SERRANO, LILI DOVE, SIERRA PATHEAL, FAITH LEE, GENEVA TRELEASE, JOHN PAUL, WES YOUNG, ERIC BRYAN, RAMIRO PEREZ, DAVID CASARRUBIAS, TYLER DEAN Disclaimer and Publication Information
The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI, or CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name, major, class standing, and phone number for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.
Questions? Comments? Kumquats?! Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd., Suite 116, Long Beach,CA 90815 Phone: 562.985.4867 E-mail: info@lbunion.com Web: www.lbunion.com
LETTERS TO AND FROM THE EDITOR
VINCENT CHAVEZ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
G
uten Tag, schlampes. You may not know it from looking at me, but I’ve always been a bit of a dork. Yeah, I wear all the coolest clothes from Milan, have the coolest friends (also from Milan), and I know the coolest skateboard tricks (kickflip McTwist, anyone?). But underneath all those avant-garde hoop skirts, fancy friends, and olley pop shoveit’s, I’m just a pimply faced Simpson superfan with a vast collection of X-men trading cards and an extensive knowledge of Harry Potter mythology (as well as Greek). (Oh, and I hope we all know I mean pimply faced figuratively because my skin is absolutely flawless. Flaw. Less.) But nerdiness does not equal scholastic success. Case in point, I do not have the
Illustration
ROSE FEDUK COMICS EDITOR
highest grades. God help me, I am just not the brightest man on the planet, but I am committed to becoming a better, more free-thinking human being. The primary reason I attend college is for enrichment. For this week’s feature, our Culture Editor Colleen Brown interviewed German program advisors Jeffrey High and Nele Hempel-Lamer. Early in the feature’s brainstorming process, someone asked me why the German program deserved a spotlight. This nameless questioner was basically asking, who cares about German as a subject of study? My response was a mildly defensive, “I’m sure there are people out there who are extremely passionate and interested in studying German.” But after reading said interviews, I
know exactly who will be interested in studying a language like German. To paraphrase Jeffrey High (who is a bona fide badass), it is someone who is committed to freedom and happiness, a person that has higher aspirations than becoming a mere employee. I could listen to this guy describe my slow painful death and I’d be delightfully captivated. And Nele HempelLamer is no slouch in the intelligence and charm department. So jump to page 7 and learn something, dopey. Ask Away!
Have a question, complaint, or a few encouraging words, but are too afraid to say them face to face? Email me at editorinchief@lbunion.com. Your feedback is the only thing keeping me going.
GERMAN WORTH LEARNIN’ COMMON GERMAN PHRASES FOR PRACTICAL USE Hallo! Ich heiße _______. Hi. My name is ________.
Sag mir, dass ich schön bin. Tell me I’m pretty.
Wo ist die Toilette? Where is the bathroom?
Ich spreche kein Deutsch. I do not speak German.
Ich liebe dich. I love you.
Ich brauche Hilfe. I need help.
Wie geht’s? How’s it going?
Fick dich. Fuck you.
Er ist furchtbar. He is terrible.
Deine Seidenweste gefällt mir. I like your silk vest.
Wieviel kostet das? How much money is that?
Er ist fruchtbar. He is fertile.
Ich bin Berliner. I am from Berlin.
Eine Rose für dich, Herr Ritter. Take this rose, Sir Knight.
Wie heißen Sie? What is your name?
Ich bin ein Berliner. I am a jelly doughnut.
Können Sie bitte langsamer sprechen? Could you please speak more slowly?
Warum beißt du mich? Why are you biting me?
Sag mir ein Geheimnis. Tell me a secret.
Dein Glied ist viel zu dünn. Your member is much too thin.
Bist du schwul? Are you gay?
UNION WEEKLY
17 SEPTEMBER 2012
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OPINIONS
A BUMP IN THE NIGHT SLEEP TALKERS MAKE FOR CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT Illustration
AMY PATTON CONTRIBUTOR
I
t starts with a moan in the night, an incoherent groan. You lay perfectly still, trying not to disturb whatever beast that has found its way into your room, hoping it won’t find you. When suddenly, your roommate bolts upright in bed and yells at you for letting the spiders out. Oh, shit. What? What spiders? If this has happened to you, my friends, try not to be alarmed. For you may be living with a sleep talker, the severity of which is yet to be discovered. I’m not sure why I have been so lucky to be blessed with avid sleep talkers for all three of my experiences with roommates. But as it were, I have become accustomed to these jarring noises of the night. You see,
ROSE FEDUK COMICS EDITOR
I was conditioned for these outcries and ramblings from a very young age. My first roommate was my older sister. We shared a room for most of our lives and she would awaken most nights with one problem or another, usually incoherently blaming me. It used to scare me shitless. What supernatural being has possessed my sister and turned her into this zombie-beast?! As the years progressed, I learned to have fun with it. The very best thing to do with a sleep talker is cajole a whole conversation out of them and then write about it in your college newspaper years later. A prime example would be the time my sister believed I was her waitress at a diner. She was outraged that her breakfast wasn’t
ready. Playing along, I had her reciting her order back to me repeatedly. She woke up that morning entirely oblivious. Then, last year I got my very first stranger as a roommate when I moved into the dorms. This girl is very friendly and passionate, whether about beautiful college boys, the lack of competence in certain staff members she encountered, or food. I heard it all. Just because it was bedtime didn’t mean she was ready to shut up. My very favorite occasion was when she told me how to make a PB&J. She was so enthralled with the idea of all the peanuty goodness and the jelly on this side of the bread only. The very best part was when she explained to cut the sandwich like this! At
that moment she karate-chopped the air, seemingly slicing that sandwich in half. Blessed be the god of awesome roommates. This year, mine likes to talk in Vietnamese in her sleep. Alas, I’m at a bit of a disadvantage. I might have to brush up on some Vietnamese basics. The point is, a sleep talker can be entertaining if you are in the right mind set. Don’t let the fact that your roommate interrupts your REM cycle on a regular basis prevent you from enjoying these glorious insights to their unconscious mind. Just be careful not to push your talker too far, especially if he or she is aggressive. Remember: they are essentially the living dead. Brainless, soulless, and heartless beasts of the night.
secondhand smoke is not a pleasant odor and even smokers don’t want a face full of it when we’re walking to class. But do non-smokers know exactly how a smoker feels about their habit? Do they even care to ask? Not often will someone ask me why I smoke or what I do to try and be courteous to those around me when I do. But for all of you readers, I will answer both of these questions right now. First off, most of us smoke because we are stressed. It is not an excuse nor a plea for sympathy, it’s just a fact. Let me make this clear: we smoke for ourselves, not to look cool nor to annoy you. You are not the center of the universe, stop acting like it. To answer the second question, we
smokers usually try to be courteous in our habit. Did you know that smokers usually do their best to blow smoke away from nonsmokers, no matter where they are? Did you know that smokers are pretty likely to ask you if it’s alright before they light up a cigarette next to you? Did you know that smokers are, in fact, literate and can read the surgeon general’s warning on the pack? Do you even care about the lengths we go to so that we don’t offend total strangers? At the end of the day, all I can ask of you non-smokers is please afford me the courtesy I try to afford you. The lesson here is that smokers are people too: some of us are nice, courteous and polite, some of us are assholes. Don’t treat us all like assholes.
SECONDHAND SNIDE SMOKERS ARE PEOPLE, TOO MICHAEL WOOD CONTRIBUTOR
Alright, just let me come out and say it: yes, I’m a smoker. No, I’m not ashamed. It’s not an uncommon habit in this day and age. From elementary school onward, we are inundated with Aesop-like lectures on smoking. I still remember my 7th grade health class where they passed around pictures of people smoking through holes in their throats and what a cancer-ridden lung looks like. From a very young age, we are taught that cigarettes are evil and by extension, smokers are too. Don’t believe the hype. There is no doubt that cigarettes are bad for you. I’m not here to convert you to a Marlboro-red-sucking, two-packs-a-day sort of person. In fact, I don’t care at all whether you smoke or not. So why do so
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many people care that I do? A regular smoker can encounter a particular sort of passive aggressive nonsmoker fairly often. In fact, so often that many of us just feel a moment of disgust at their rudeness and then brush it off as if nothing even happened. They’re very distinct in their methods: disgusted faces that are more often seen around Bosnian killing fields; the blatant fake cough at a ridiculous distance; the lectures by total strangers usually about the dangers of smoking cigarettes. We know that smoking cigarettes is not a healthy habit, just like eating Carls Jr. every day at the USU or getting blackout drunk every weekend. We know that
OPINIONS
VOTE OR DIE
POLITICAL IGNORANCE ISN’T BLISS LILI DOVE CONTRIBUTOR
Question: Do you plan to vote this November in the presidential election? One of my biggest surprises this fall was the response amongst my younger colleagues when I asked the group if anyone planned to vote. The immediate response amongst the crowd was dead silence. It was an international crowd, so I know not everyone can vote, but I was still surprised to discover the apathy that filled the room. I was a child of the seventies, who did my undergraduate studies at Kent State. Activism was the folklore of our existence; even though I personally was raised on the periphery of the era when protest was the most prominent form of activism, I can’t imagine not having any interest in the outcome of a presidential election. The general consensus that summed up the disinterest of the group was the opinion that the government does what it wants to do anyway, so why bother to stay informed about the issues enough to know which way to vote. In a group that has the common distinction of investing in a
higher education, which I presume is for the sake of securing a better future, it was understandable but also disheartening to discover that the overwhelming majority felt powerless about their ability to personally impact the future. I decided to write my first editorial contribution to the school newspaper, to give my top three reasons on why you should vote. 1) Participation counts. Voting is the way a society can measure how many of its community members are healthy enough to want to be represented by any actions a representative group makes on its behalf. It is the only way to give your taxation representation. You are going to have to pay into the group kitty, so you might as well have a say in how it’s spent. Do you want to give power to the idea that most members in society are too dysfunctional to care about their own interests and must be told what to do by a group of leaders — leaders who tend to consider your refusal to participate as proof of inferior decision making skills? Or do you want your elected representatives to know that all eyes are
watching their every move to make sure they are in step with the moral principles of the group? If you choose the latter, you need to vote. Even if you write in your favorite personal choice instead of choosing between one of the recommended candidates, showing up is important. 2) The big picture is relevant. It might seem like the decisions made in Washington are so far removed from your daily life that your vote is inconsequential. But if you care about big issues, like whether we engage or don’t engage in warfare, whether we continue to have the right to free speech, or whether or not we continue to have access to affordable public education, it does affect you. The presidential candidates have strong stances on these and other issues. Pick a side, or pick someone who you think most closely represents your vision for a better tomorrow. Use this opportunity to express your choice, simply because you can. If you don’t, it is possible that all the things you can currently take for granted could disappear in the future.
3) Voting serves a dual purpose. As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” In the process of learning where a candidate stands on the issues, you will have a chance to examine which issues are most important to you, and you will develop your reasoning skills in the process. Choice, by necessity, requires analysis of the options. It is imperative in a society where free will is to remain the priority under which law and order exist to serve, that all members of society develop a personal standard of conduct. The decision must ultimately be made: do you want the government to run your life, or do you want your choices to determine the way the government is run? This is the essence of the paradox to be found in the statement, “It’s a free country.” It’s not free; it’s run on the collective energy of the society and your vote counts. The only reason it wouldn’t count is if you choose to be powerless on a personal level. If you were willing to do that, why would you invest in an education?
FIRST DATE FOLLIES
FROM ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS TO REAR-ENDING RUCKUS TANYA PAZ
ASSISTANT EDITOR
Being the independent lady that I am, I generally don’t find myself craving much attention from the opposite sex. However, my ego managed to inflate to devastating levels this summer as I got asked out on more dates than I’ve had in my entire life. I guess being a neurotic mess is the key to men’s hearts? Indifferent and bored with everyone, I politely declined all but one invitation. I’ve been interested in this certain guy for a while and was over-the-moon happy when he asked me to accompany him on a date. If you should know anything about me, it is that I am a nervous mess around men, even more so around men that I actually like. Once I accepted said invitation, a feeling of regret came upon me as I knew I would somehow fuck things up. However, after weighing the pros and cons with my good friend, she insisted I go. I want to tell you that our date went as planned, but it didn’t. We didn’t even make it to our desired destination. Things came to a halt ten minutes into the night when he rearended a car on the freeway. (My good friend who pushed me to go told me I did a great job of making him nervous, which is giving me too much credit. Good for a laugh, I suppose.) Of course, the car hit left the scene without a scratch, while my friend’s car suffered from serious damage. While the initial event might
have turned most people off, it kind of made me realize how much I actually liked my date. He stayed composed and calm the entire time, and made sure I was okay. Our date ended in the waiting room of a towing garage. We sat there for an hour and a half, chatting, waiting for his ride to show up. Did I mention he lived nowhere near Long Beach? If you kind of ignored the fact we were in hanging out in a disgustingly grimy room with a bunch of gross men watching TV feet away in another room, it would’ve counted as a very nice first date. Really, the only terrifying part of the night was meeting his ride back home — his mom. But you can cut me some slack for that one, right? Now that I think about it, I can only imagine how horrifying the night must’ve been for my friend. I found the whole thing to be a bit amusing, but then again, not everyone lives for near-death experiences. This date made me realize that we shouldn’t worry or freak out so much over the accidental and unexpected. If anything, it’s those random series of events that make things much more memorable and exciting, and make you see how well people respond to, at least in my case, unfavorable circumstances. Having everything go as planned is no fun. As the guy at the towing garage said to me: “It will make for an interesting story.” UNION WEEKLY
17 SEPTEMBER 2012
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NEWS FROM THE SENATE CHAMBERS
JOSEPH PHILLIPS
COLLEGE OF LIBERAL ARTS SENATOR
RESIDENCE HALLS ARE OUT
AND RESEDENTIAL COLLEGES ARE IN, CHANGING VERY LITTLE DAVID CASARRUBIAS CONTRIBUTOR
T
his year, residents living on campus found themselves lugging their bundles of clothes, mini fridges, and flat screen TV’s into what are now LOPXO BT 3FTJEFOUJBM $PMMFHFT 8IBU VTFE UP CF LOPXO BT UIF 3FTJEFODF $PNNPOT -PT "MBNJUPT 3-$ 1BSLTJEF $PNNPOT and Los Cerritos complexes have been christened with three new and distinct names: Hillside College, Beachside College, and Parkside College. But what exactly is new about these colleges? Nothing. All that is new are a few vinyl banners hanging on TPNF MJHIU QPTUT BOE OFX U TIJSUT XJUI UIF TDSFFO QSJOUFE UJUMFT PG UIF DPMMFHFT XPSO by the residents. )PVTJOH BOE 3FTJEFOUJBM -JGF B subsidiary of Cal State Long Beach, is currently transitioning to a new system of housing very similar to the UC’s. The Housing Office is planning on admitting NPSF GBDVMUZ JO SFTJEFODF UP CF BWBJMBCMF for the residents living on campus, and is attempting to consolidate the several TBUFMMJUF DPNQMFYFT JOUP iDPNNVOJUJFTw that fall under the umbrella of a college. As of now, none of the buildings have been physically renamed on the building surfaces, and the actual individual buildings still yield the mundane naming system of alphabetical lettering. )PVTJOH %JSFDUPS $BSPM 3PCFSUT Corb said plans to rename the individual buildings were in the works during an BEESFTT UP UIF 3FTJEFOU "TTJTUBOUT MBUF MBTU TQSJOH 'PS OPX UIF NBKPSJUZ PG CSJDL buildings will see little changes as Housing
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UNION WEEKLY
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Photo
CONNOR O’BRIEN PHOTO EDITOR
officials work out the last logistical issues before transitioning to the full college community system. In the mean time, other changes have been implemented in Housing and Dining. A new member to the dining UFBN 3BDIFM 1BHIVOBTBO DIFG NBOBHFS has brought her style of managing to the three dining halls. As a vegan, Paghunasan is bringing her unique lifestyle onto the menus of the residents. This year more vegetarian options were implemented; UIFSF BSF FWFO iNFBUMFTT .POEBZT w ćFSF is no doubt that a healthy change is a welcomed change; however, critics have CFFO XBSZ PG IFS i(PSEPO 3BNTFZw TUZMF of management. Dining hall employees are expected to help with food preparation and serving on the line on top of their already demanding cleaning duties. This has led to beyond sluggish lines in the EJOJOH IBMM XJUI XBJU UJNFT PG VQ UP ĕęZ five minutes. A recent article in the Daily 49er by contributing writer Hilary Phan claimed UIBU iTUVEFOU T GFFECBDL XBT HFOFSBMMZ QPTJUJWFw SFHBSEJOH UIF EJOJOH IBMM B statement I would have agreed with during the first week of school; however, the current state of the dining hall finds itself with dirty floors, unattended tables, insufficient amounts of cooked food, and even missing food options. The whole selling point of the new system was the variety of food offered at the many stations, but dining hall management has had to eliminate options altogether, like
the Deli Bar on certain days, in order to assign dining hall employees to serving the main dish lines. Another popular bar that has altogether been removed JT UIF NBEF UP PSEFS QBTUB CBS BÄ™FS 'JSF .BSTIBMM TBODUJPOT SFRVJSFE UIBU the dining hall remove the bar due to inadequate ventilation. Some propositions have surfaced regarding the long wait students face in the dining halls, like the installation of line dividers. Suggestions of placing line dividers seems illogical and they fail to address the real issue in the dining halls, which is that there is not enough dining IBMM TUBÄŒ UP BDDPNNPEBUF UIF NBEF UP order style of dining. Claims that student feedback was acquired through surveying and other methods are hard to believe XIFO UIF Ä•STU PÄ?DJBM i%JOFS T $MVCw meeting isn’t scheduled until this Thursday, 4FQUFNCFS UI ćF i%JOFS T $MVCw JT B committee composed of the residents of every college that meets to discuss food options and dining issues on a monthly CBTJT )JMMTJEF %JOJOH NBOBHFS .BOVFM (JM expects the first meeting to be one of the most attended meetings this year, as many residents are anticipated to attend. No one disagrees that the new dining system is unique and exemplar of healthy food choices; however, the transition was perhaps too demanding and drastic for the veteran dining staff. A more gradual transition could have addressed many issues that now face housing dining but it is too late to make those concessions.
What the hell has ASI done for me this year? Simply put, quite a decent bit. Let me begin by explaining what a Senator’s job entails. We serve as both your student government and as the board of directors. We look after more than $90 million in assets while making sure your access to a quality education is not being obstructed. We have given our full support to Proposition 30 by passing a resolution a few weeks ago. What this enables us to do is to actively engage you, the students, and to lobby just about everyone to vote yes. Prop 30 is a measure that would stop the $270 million budget deficit from occurring to the California State University system. If Prop 30 does not pass in the statewide election, then the effects on this campus would be devastating. The amount of funds we would lose would amount to the cost of running an entire college. Administration has said they would evenly cushion the money out given that situation occurs. Our hope is that by going into the community and educating the public on why this is a big deal, we can bandage the open wound. More recently, but unrelated, we heard of the fee increases that are soon to be voted upon by the CSU Board of Trustees. After hearing this, some diligent senators assembled an emergency resolution condemning the BOT in the hope that it may sway how they vote concerning drastic new fees. If they are to vote yes on the increase, we will face: t VOJU i(SBEVBUJPO *ODFOUJWF 'FFw JG you accumulate more than 150 units; t VOJU ićJSE 5JFS 'FFw JG ZPV UBLF NPSF UIBO VOJUT TFNFTUFS t VOJU i$PVSTF 3FQFBU 'FFw JG ZPV repeat a course that you failed. Imagine having a thousand or more dollars stacked onto the tuition you already have to pay. We bear witness to the rise of fees, tuition, and the cancelation of financial aid for many students. Speaking as your elected representative, I believe it is vital for you all to get very angry about what is going on. Many of us will be at the CSU BOT meeting on Tuesday and Wednesday at 11:15 a.m. to represent your voice. Please feel free to come and do the same because we need to stand together. As a side note to my constituents, through my position as your Senator for the College of Liberal Arts, I have a plan that is falling into place. All I am going to say is that you should be expecting acoustic UJMFT BOE CMJOET GPS UIF 1) CVJMEJOH JO the near future, and expect some more interdisciplinary options for your majors.
From left to right: Jeffrey High, Graduate Advisor; Nele HempelLamer, Undergraduate Advisor; Harald Friedl, Guest Professor.
MUSIC
REVIEWS AND SHIT
BUKE AND GASE FUNCTION FALLS
LEO PORTUGAL WEB MANAGER
B
rooklyn duo Arone Dyer and Aron Sanchez are Buke and Gase (formerly known as Buke and Gass until they changed the spelling to reinforce correct pronunciation; people would incorrectly pronounce it Buke and Gas). Arone and Aron utilize their homemade instruments/namesakes, the buke (a “selfmodified six string baritone ukelele”) and the gass (a guitar-bass hybrid), along with vocals and percussion, to masterfully craft sounds that are intricate and layered—the kinds of sounds that get you involuntarily tapping-your-foot and nodding-yourhead. To put it in the plainest of English, this gal and guy just make kick-ass music. Their latest release, Function Falls, is a beautifully crafted EP featuring three original songs that are largely improvised and experimental and that are also completely rad. Buke and Gase always play around with song structure and
WILD NOTHING NOCTURNE
NATHAN CRUZ
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
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texture, and in this EP they challenged themselves to push their creativity even further. Some songs here are completely improvised, giving the EP a spontaneous feel that is coupled with experimentation through computation for an altogether fulfilling sound. Function Falls’ lyrics, however, are often difficult to grasp. In the track “Fussrate,” I can pick up that Arone Dyer sings, “Breaks in bits and pieces/Breaks in bits and pieces,” and, funnily enough, I feel that those lyrics adequately describe my understanding of Function Falls’ lyrics. In fact, the first track, “Misshaping Introduction,” features mostly improvised lyrics which might partially explain the often incognizable nature of the lyrics. I just wish there were more lyrics I could grab onto. But that isn’t to say that Dyer’s singing voice is going to waste. All of Buke and Gase’s instrumentation is excellent, and that is just as true for Dyer’s voice—it’s sometimes percussive, sometimes flowing, and always wonderful. And the lyrics are certainly clear in Function Falls’ fourth and final track as Buke and Gase cover New Order’s “Blue Monday.” You know the one. It goes, “How does it feel/to treat me like you do” and so on. It’s awesome both in its original incarnation and in the capable hands of Buke and Gase. And not only are Buke and Gase good, they’ve also seem to always find themselves in good company; in 2010 they toured with Tune-Yards (a band with which Buke and Gase share some favorable similarities), and they will be beginning a tour with Deerhoof on the very day that this review gets published. Do yourself a favor and catch them when they come to the LA Echoplex on October 2.
I have a love/hate relationship with ‘80s music trends. When I talk about ‘80s music trends, I am referring to reverb, snare drums, soft and airy guitar tones, and dreamy synths. Wild Nothing uses many of these techniques on their sophomore effort, Nocturne, and singer songwriter of the band, Jack Tatum, has openly admitted to being a huge fan of ‘80s acts with the aforementioned ‘80s sounds such as The Smiths, The Cocteau Twins, and Kate Bush. Nocturne sounds more vivid than its predecessor and more produced than their 2010 debut, Gemini, but does not stray too far away from what initially drew me into this music; it’s a trip to dreamland, my most favorite place. Nocturne’s album opener, “Shadow”, highlights a side of Tatum’s voice not
BUY THIS SHIT AND LISTEN TO IT, MAYBE
It’s been quite a while since we heard from Ed and the crew, three years to be exact. After the release of Veckatimest, the group toured furiously, traveling the world to showcase their craft. Now, finally after these long years of wait, their third album as a band, Shields, has finally come, and it does not disappoint. The album as a whole fairs much better than Veckitamest, with the group sticking to their strengths whilst venturing out once in a while to explore untouched musical territory. Galloping out of the starting gate, “Sleeping Ute” is a headrush. With a feel reminiscent of “Grace” by Jeff Buckley, the song almost is overwhelming at times, the arrangements seemingly burdened by unnecessary elements and flourishes. It all does come together though, through the superb lyrical weavings of Daniel Rossen. Thankfully, this does not seem to be a recurring element within the
album, with most songs finding a perfect balance between frenzied activity and lush atmosphere. A fine example would be the next track, “Speak in Rounds.” Hushed toms march alongside Ed Droste, which then pick up the pace during the chorus. One of the standouts of the album, “Yet Again” displays Grizzly Bear doing what they do best. With a chord progression evoking a heavier version of Radiohead’s “Knives Out,” Ed croon’s “Yet Againnnn…” doused in a hall reverb so majestic and boner worthy as to shake the very heavens themselves. Hyperbole, I know, but I just adore a proper use of reverb. This song also incorporates one of their best examples of interlocking vocal harmonies since “While You Wait for the Others,” and the end, a chaotic rush made to ruin the speakers of audiophiles everywhere cements this song as one of my top Grizzly Bear songs. The album continues its winning streak, slowly winding down in intensity but never losing any of its effectiveness. Piano driven songs “The Hunt” and “A Simple Answer” take the minimal stance to maximum effect, with “A Simple Answer” being another standout on the album. Track “gun-shy” incorporates somewhat tropical elements into its arrangements, while “Half Gate” is an ecstatic yet melancholic ride. It’s been a long while since we’ve heard from Grizzly Bear. The wait was hard, but in the end, it helped to shape a product of value. The album is a sonic pleasure that delivers and lives up to the expectations that were placed upon a band that has consistently delivered. I think this is a step in the right direction for the band, and at the rate at which this band delivers, I’ll be eagerly awaiting their next album.
previously revealed in Gemini; there is a more throaty vocal delivery. The song feels very moody and also features layers of guitar, bass, drum, and violin. The song feels more produced than Gemini, as does the rest of the album, showcasing Tatum’s growth as a songwriter. Title track “Nocturne” begins with a wave of arpeggio guitars, and the sassy mood of the song, hints at a bit of strong flirtations. “You want to know me/ Well what’s to know/ I know where to find you/ I know where you go/ I just want to let you know/ You can have me.” At times Nocturne feels like a soft breeze that hits your face. There is a strong sense of melody on every song on this album and they are so catchy. Wild Nothing is essentially a moniker for the one man behind the band, singer,
songwriter, Jack Tatum. I met Jack this summer while he was on tour with fellow dream-poppers Beach House at the Belly Up in Aspen, Colorado. I saw him hanging around the venue after the show on that rainy summer night. He was sitting alone at a table and I went up to him and congratulated him on his great performance and asked him if he would like to do a interview for the Union Weekly. Unfortunately, he never got back to me. I’m sure he’s busy doing cooler things, but at least he was nice about it. If you ever come across this article, Jack, I’d still like to get that interview. Email me. Nocturne challenged the way I feel about music I am not too typically crazy about and I thoroughly enjoyed that. Any musician who can do that is worth a listen to.
GRIZZLY BEAR SHIELDS
JOHN VILLANUEVA MUSIC EDITOR
MUSIC BLOC PARTY FOUR
GENEVA TRELEASE CONTRIBUTOR
DAVID BYRNE AND ST.VINCENT LOVE THIS GIANT LEO PORTUGAL WEB MANAGER
For those of you who’ve been moping around since 2008 (when Bloc Party released Intimacy), and for those of you who’ve been waiting for that endearingly creative, ‘80s-tinged quartet to ruin indie-rock conventions once again, mope no more. Britain’s own Bloc Party has released a new album in the wake of a four-year absence; their fourth album is titled, unironically, Four. Four takes a step back from their last electronic-based album, as the band’s sound partially returns to their traditional reliance on heavy guitars. Their most recent project appears refreshingly strong, unexpectedly aggressive, and impressively assertive. Four, both melodically and lyrically, spans a variety of genres.
The first few songs are particularly surprising as they begin forcefully, driven by furious guitar chords. The harsher, blatantly angry sounds are borderline metal, as power chords wail and lyrics brazenly question concepts of identity and religion. In “We are Not Good People,” lead singer Kele sings, “If God is God then why is he secret?” Bloc Party appears to take on the entire realm of music in Four, leaving no question, idea, or direction silent. Other tracks parallel the positive dance-y sound of their previous albums. “V.A.L.I.S.” expresses finding one’s self through upbeat melodic patterns, establishing the most memorable hook of the album, “show me, you gotta show me the way,” complete with light syncopated beats and claps.
The gentler, more personal songs on Four differ from the others by building on raw emotion and vulnerability. “Day Four” is a clear, fragile response to the devastation of drug abuse. Kele says, “I’ll stay clean… Stay brave but I know it will return.” In “Truth,” he sings, “I am yours now, respectively.” He undoubtedly connects with his audience, who may be familiar with the heartbreak invested in the tracks of his previous albums. Bloc Party has a way of expressing concise emotions and euphonic confidence simultaneously in each track, no matter the genre. Whether you prefer the newly aggressive tracks, or the traditional intimacy of Kele’s calmer expressions, give this album a listen and bask in the British melancholic glory that is Bloc Party’s Four.
David Byrne and St. Vincent (a.k.a. Annie Clark) have joined forces to create Love this Giant, a rocky poppy album full of funky horns. But before I get into how funky the horns are, I just have to divulge that Annie Clark is one of my favorite artists of the 21st century. Second off, I have never really listened to David Byrne’s music as a solo artist or from when he was a Talking Head, but I do appreciate the importance the Talking Heads had in the ’70s when they served as a healthy alternative to disco. My closest connection to Byrne music came in 2009 when I found fondness for Byrne’s collaborative efforts as he and the Dirty
Projectors put together the tremendous track “Knotty Pine.” Then, with the impending release of Love This Giant, Byrne’s name next to St. Vincent’s got my goose gandering. The album’s first two singles (“Who” and “Weekend in the Dust”) served as the perfect pump up for its impending release. The results, however, ended up feeling a little hit or miss. Which is to say, sometimes I just miss Clark in some songs. I really wish Clark’s guitar playing could be in the foreground more. She just isn’t allowed to flourish enough “licks” and “shreds” (trust me, these are the kinds of terms music critics use to describe guitar playing in album reviews) throughout the
album as she gets drowned out by the horn section. Sometimes her guitar is seemingly left out altogether. And with a rotation of Byrne and Clark trading off lead vocal duties from track to track, sometimes I just am not getting enough St. Vincent in track. In the end, the singles “Who” and “Weekend in the Dust” serve as the first two tracks on Love This Giant, and those songs are probably the strongest showcase of the kind of eclectic rock-pop Byrne and Clark can craft together. That isn’t to say that there aren’t quite a few other gems throughout; there are. I like “The Forest Awakes” in particular, but of course that one basically sounds like a St. Vincent song with horns.
ENTERTAINMENT
YOU’LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD
RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION IS A FILM AS LIFELESS AS THE ZOMBIES IN IT
TYLER DEAN
Illustration
CONTRIBUTOR
A
horror film, whether good or bad, is usually pretty easy to write about. Typically, a horror film is scary and if it’s not… well, you get a film like Resident Evil: Retribution. Resident Evil: Retribution is the fifth film by Paul W.S. Anderson featuring the lovely Milla Jovovich as the ass-kicking Alice, leader of the human resistance against—wait, hasn’t this been done already? Not this badly. As I was saying, Alice is the ass-kicking leader of the human resistance against the constant influx of boring zombies, crazy tongue zombies, and a multitude of undead beasts. The film basically picks up where Afterlife ends, with Alice having freed all of the Umbrella Corporation prisoners aboard the freight ships. It’s only seconds later that everyone’s wiped out by a super hot Jill Valentine (good girl gone bad) and an army of Umbrella Corporation gunships and soldiers. The scene ends in about three minutes and without rhyme or reason, cuts to Alice waking up in a cell chamber (naked, of course) where Umbrella agents proceed to interrogate her. It was at this point that this
RAMIRO PEREZ CONTRIBUTOR
article was in jeopardy of ever being written, dear reader, for when you have Umbrella Corporation agents asking stupid questions like “Who sent you?” and “Who do you work for?” (never mind that Umbrella Corporation are the people that created Alice, for lack of a better term) then you know how shitty the next hour and a half will be. Anyway, Alice is broken out of her cell by a character I won’t reveal, and told to rendezvous with a task force (headed by Resident Evil favorite, Leon S. Kennedy). Before she does, the command center that Alice is being held in, which happens to be underwater, explodes, while hot Jill and Umbrella agents catch up. Just another day in the world of ass-kicking Alice. Here’s where the bitching begins. Beloved reader, know that these aren’t the words of just some random patron who visits the neighborhood multiplex alone in the middle of the afternoon because his girlfriend is on the other side of the country for the next year and hates horror films anyway, nor is it the griping of a fanboy on the peripheries of socio-economic adulthood… more like a
combination of the two. I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems that with every new Resident Evil film that comes out, there’s an unreleased Resident Evil film that the public never gets to see. Characters that were killed come back from the dead, important title characters randomly disappear (sorry Wentworth Miller fans), and Alice somehow manages to lose and regain her superhuman abilities without ever having really regained her powers. Confused yet? People who haven’t seen all the Resident Evil films will probably have more fun with Retribution than the more serious fan because that’s the audience Paul W.S. Anderson seems to be aiming for—that is, those who don’t give a shit about linear storytelling. The dialogue is poor beyond repair; characters are reduced to regurgitating lines from previous installments, such as,“You’re all going to die down here!” You get the friendly-guy banter that every horror fan, nay, any filmgoer in general, know comes right before someone gets bit in the neck, “Shit man! What was that? I don’t know, but he bit me!” And the always convincing I’m-
a-badass-but-I’m-also-sensitive motif that we all know always works out for the better and doesn’t slow down the progress of the film at all. Spoiler-but-not-really-a-spoiler alert: Alice becomes a mother. Likewise, the special effects—meaning the blood, of course—is pretty much just splotches of blood that disappear in midair. I will say that there’s one awesome scene where Ada Wong (ugh, don’t even get me started) and Alice face off against TWO Axemen. But, of course the scene is cut short because Alice is an ass-kicker and doesn’t waste time. I mean, come on! She lost her superhuman abilities in… I don’t even know which installment, but I know it happened! How? Because a certain dead-not-really-dead character says so at the end of the film. Positives: none. Those that can appreciate a film’s script will do so for Retribution, but in this case Anderson executes his shots and characters so poorly and in randomized bits of what can only be judged as an experimental collage-like gibberish that even this small victory will go unnoticed because you’ll be too busy face-palming.
humor bows to it, succumbing to ugly and unflinching reality. I won’t go into story specifics, (because you should see it), and you are not losing anything knowing that their relationship eventually fails, but as someone in a long term relationship that has seen varying degrees of torment, I cannot classify Sleepwalk With Me as a comedy (as it is billed). It’s a successful film and my criticisms are few, but in my opinion this is a horror film. There are no monsters, but the knowledge of a person’s willingness to succumb to themselves, to their worst
moments, is something that long outlives the jokes. In reality, each joke functions as a clever narration of a funeral, two people buried together with their efforts and a smile. It says something of the film’s characterizing of the relationship that seeing it fail is so devastating. But go see it! You won’t be more stirred by another film anytime soon, but don’t expect to chuckle out of the theater. The comedy here is necessary, absolutely, but only because of the amount of pain the characters endure, and speaks to the value of some small joy in a greater sadness.
DRAMEDY AT ITS FINEST SLEEPWALK WITH ME IS SO FUNNY IT’S SCARY ERIC BRYAN UNION STAFFER
On its face, Sleepwalk With Me is a coming-of-age comedy/drama about a thirty-something comedian who undergoes personal trials and tribulations. This film is a success; it is well written and acted, and ultimately very effective. However, beneath its innocuous surface, beneath mumbling cleverness and stand up, there lurks terror. Not of violence, not of existential uncertainty, but the pure and gaping horror of life. What seems to exist at the core of Sleepwalk With Me is a very accurate and visceral portrayal of insecurity. Something
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that Judd Apatow would use to charm can be, and is here, imminently destructive. The film opens and several times returns to a running narration by lead actor, writer, and director Mike Birbiglia. It’s disarming at first, yet amiable, but soon after, the narration functions as a vehicle for Birbiglia’s fear getting the best of him. It ultimately dismantles his eightyear relationship with Abby (played by Six Feet Under’s Lauren Ambrose). The fall is in the usual steps, but the reasoning with it and the reactions to it are so hauntingly real, so horrifically mundane, that all
CULTURE
LEAVING LEDERHOSEN RETURNING HOME TO CULTURE SHOCK SIERRA PATHEAL CONTRIBUTOR
Illustration
NICHOLE DANIELS ILLUSTRATION EDITOR
CLOSING THE GAP
ADVENTURES IN AMERICA, FROM BATHROOM STALLS TO BEACHES FAITH LEE CONTRIBUTOR
UNION WEEKLY
17 SEPTEMBER 2012
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LITERATURE
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION LOVERCRAFT’S PROCLIVITY FOR PERFECTION JOHN PAUL CONTRIBUTOR
I
n the fall of 1920 H.P. Lovecraft wrote From Beyond. Inspired by the philosophical writings of Hugh Eliot, Lovecraft sculpted a terrifying tale of other worldly creatures that lurk all around in parallel dimensions. The protagonist, Crawford Tillinghast-made famous by actor Jeff Combs in Stuart Gordon’s film adaptation of From Beyond-is the archetypal mad scientist. Bent on gaining access to parallel dimensions through activating “…sense-organs that exist in us as atrophied or rudimentary vestiges…,” Tillinghast loses grip of his sanity, pulling
all the stops to succeed. The story was not received well when it was originally written. It was finally published 14 years after its conception, in Fantasy Fan June 1934. As with most of his work, praise did not come until later. The terror of this tale touches the most basic terror of humanity: fear of the unknown. It is this fear that has given birth to countless gods; specifically, the almighty Christian deity, cleverly named…God, also known as Jesus, when in his human form—which is his son, but still him...SCIENCE FICTION. Moving forward, Lovecraft pokes and
prods at our fear of the unknown in all of his tales: invisible beasts, sleeping violent gods, death cults, and back wood cannibal rednecks. Throughout all of his stories, he relies on putting the reader face to face with what they do not, or cannot, know. In From Beyond, the reader is confronted with the possibility that all around exist creatures that are lurking about just waiting for an opportunity to devour us: mind and body. If you have not read anything of Lovecraft, do yourself a favor, get up, pick a story, and read the shit out of it, preferably late at night.
I recommend From Beyond, The Haunter of the Dark, The Cats of Ulthar, The Picture in the House, The Hound, and my favorite, The Dunwhich Horror. Also, if your are serious about getting into Lovecraft, I suggest purchasing Barnes and Noble’s complete collection of his writings (it is about $20). After you have survived these tales you should attempt to delve into the Cthulhu Mythos (The Call of Cthulhu and At the Mountains of Madness, the major works of the mythos, but bits and piece are in basically all of his stories). Make sure you hold onto your mind. Don’t lose your grip, as did Crawford Tillinghast.
here people escape from society crumbling around them, similar to how people today avoid their lives with games. In this “oasis” you can make a trip to a Star Wars themed planet, Monty Python planet, or even say, a world dedicated entirely to the Teletubbies for all you questionable folk out there. The Willy Wonka/Steve Jobs-esque game creator (not creepy or evil, just eccentric)
has willed his trillion dollar company to whoever beats a series of 80’s themed videogame challenges! An unsuspecting boy (i.e. fat, lame, nerd) attempts to remain ahead of the competition as a ruthless world corporation gets closer to murdering him in hopes of taking over this business empire. Go pick it up and discover the secret to life, itself !
LET THE GAMES BEGIN READY PLAYER ONE PRESSES ALL THE RIGHT BUTTONS WES YOUNG CONTRIBUTOR
How fresh in your memory are those nights throughout your adolescence spent, from dusk till dawn, with nothing but you and a sweaty N64 or Xbox controller? Or perhaps for some of you who still have the time to let your inner child run rampant, a night like this is as close as last weekend. Regardless, there is finally a book which brings together
fans of all genres of pop culture nerdom. Ernest Cline (Fanboys) creates a modern sci-fi novel that reads more like an action movie script. Set in the not too distant easily foreseeable future, Ready Player One takes place almost entirely in an ultra sensory perceptive 3D virtual reality videogame that has become the place where most of the world either works, shops, or plays in. It is
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SASSY SALMON
HARD
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MARIHA LOWE
FEDOKU
HAIRY POTTER DISSECT MY BRAIN
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KEVIN NG
COMICS
DISCLAIMER: that hate letter you were writing directly
“Dwarves swallow”
Volume 71 Issue 4
Monday, September 17, 2012
SHAOLIN BABAA: A KICKBUTT
LBUNION.COM
GEOPOLITICAL IMPLICATIONS OF CANDY CORN OREOS
GRANNY WITH A HEART Shaolin Babaa is the worst and best thing I’ve ever had the ability to watch from Japan on
By KURT COLTRANE
Many countries around the have begun
I have no idea why the people making this movie
the world’s leading producers of cookies and cookie-
Nabisco knowingly conditioned the world into accepting different iterations of the
unveiled a limited
King” would return from his voyage across the stars to transport all humanity to his
By GIMLI GIBBLER
And it is later revealed that Babaa is a
The general public is still reeling from the coated turd” is a “stupid” and “periwinkle”
shown the scenes after Babaa has said
get a movie review into the Diversions section of the Daily 49er
praise Nabisco for being able to capture
up the Shelbyville Gazette Bi-Quarterly they don’t let me near their headquarters
posted record sales for the product leading
taking out anyone that dares to get in her
skill to anyone brave enough to challenge wishing she would say something just so I
That’s not all I put into their lunch sacks. I think I know a thing or two about
Nabisco is simply capitalizing on the fact that anyone will eat anything disgusting claim that Nabisco refuted by releasing
in where you could tell there was a stunt guy who worked way too hard to make previously unreachable Mayan tomb was
should have no bearing on my logic or my
symbolism behind the Mayan “doomsday” interpretation
of
which
INSIDE
Porn Company Offers Camilla Parker-Bowles 12 Million Yen to Remove Her Funky Hat
Julia Roberts Signs on to Star in Eat Pray Love Sequel
Al Qaeda Reviews Oogieloves: “This is why I hate America.”