Mentoring Young LA by Union Weekly

March 3 Volume 74 lbunion.com

Mentoring Young LA A tutoring center where creativity ﬂourishes

OPEN

MEETING

HANGOUT AND CHAT WITH US THIS TUESDAY AT 5:30PM IN OUR OFFICE.

BRING YOUR FRIENDS, CLASSMATES, DOG, PARENTS, ETC.

Issue 74.7

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI or CSULB. All students Union Weekly be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly

Union Weekly assumes no

“Who even reads these quotes?” Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

editorinchief@lbunion.com

Marco Beltran, Managing Editor

marcob.union@gmail.com

Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor

connor.union@gmail.com

Rose and the $10 Million Meltdown Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

Eric Garcia, Advertising Exec It’s always better to come late to good news than to bad news. I felt this sentiment Shereen Lisa Dudar, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com

Alfred Pallarca, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com

Sierra Patheal, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com

Molly Shannon, Food Editor food@lbunion.com

Michael Wood, Music Editor music@lbunion.com

Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com

Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Truc Nguyen, Web Manager

Alyssa Keyne, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com

God Warrior, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com

Chrissy Bastian, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com

Assistant Editor: Sam Winchester Contributors: Bianca Lemus, Rebecca Komathy, Paula Tena, Jessica Ross, Jason Pillon, Lorraine Delarosa, Beatriz Villa, Jaqueline Toy-sa, Claire DeWilde, Sebastian Quintero, Catherine Bernal, Jose Cruz, Mario Lopez, Hazuki Onaga. Thanks Alex Berman!

LBUnion.com

@UnionWeekly

Questions? Comments? Corgis? Long Beach, CA 90815. E-mail: info@lbunion.com

and struggling not to slip in the puddles cratered around campus, to the Senate Chambers last Friday, where the results of the ASI Fee Referendum would be announced. Since it didn’t take that long to announce that the referendum passed (the meeting was probably about three minutes came into a room full of cheer and relief. The referendum passed! 56.1% to 43.8%, with 5,027 students having voted. Which is good news, considering this idea that I’ve been working on. That’s right kids, we tricked you. The $2 million that the passage of the referendum will generate is going straight to our newest pet project. The reason I was late to that meeting was that I’m actually knee-deep in this Union musical that I’m planning, and it’s gotten out of control. Initially, I had this modest vision of the editors river-dancing on tables and spinning with armfuls of newspapers in front of an audience of our peers as we belted out songs about getting paper cuts and stuff. But that stuff is squaresville. As a true artiste I needed this to be bigger: more pizzazz, more “umph,” and definitely more sequined shirts. For the past couple of weeks, we’ve tirelessly constructed a full-scale replica of the CSULB campus, gone into development

with CGI models of Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan’s stunt doubles, recast the whole Union editorial staff as Muppets, with a little hand puppet for each Muppet, commissioned three hundred clogs for a thirty-second number entitled, “Shit, I Forgot to Send the Issue to the Printer,” and arranged for a personal trailer for Liam Neeson, who will be narrating the whole thing using a pirate voice. We are about $10 million over-budget, but that’s what you pay for great art, right? If you haven’t guessed, I made that whole thing up. Unfortunately there is no Union musical, and the money from the referendum will actually go on to fund plenty of wonderful projects that will campus. So thank you to all who voted and get excited about the things to come! into the previous part of my intro letter is partially inspired by this week’s feature. 826LA is a volunteer organization that tutors K-12 kids in creative writing, while stand up comedy shows, comic books made with the students’ writing, and a student-run newspaper that is a little close to our own hearts. To read more about this awesome organization and how you can get involved, read on. And for more info on how to get involved with our awesome organization, email us at info@lbunion.com.

4 Opinions

“Sounds like an American election but with less geriatric poll workers and more molotov cocktails.”

The Cold War Just Got Hot Again

Michael Wood Music Editor

Not all revolutions are created equal Alright, folks, it’s time to jump into your bomb shelters. The Kremlin is going nuts and the White House is gonna get itself mixed into the fray in its own trademarked, bumbling way, as always. Stock up on your canned food, run to the gas station for some generator fuel, and prepare to live in a Fallout-style world while the top decision makers of the world are living their sick Dr. Strangelove fantasy. The whole world is going to shit over a muddy irradiated peninsula in a former Soviet Republic! dose of alarmism is the only thing that can wake a lot of folks from their numb, sleep deprived, rat-race existence. If you’ve been watching the news, though, you know what’s happening in the Ukraine. Corrupt Pro-EU politicians sparked a popular revolt against the corrupt Sounds like an American election but with less geriatric poll workers and more molotov cocktails. The Pro-EU faction of the country has seized control of the rest of the Ukraine, and deposed the pro-Russian

president Yanukovych, sending him into exile. But of course, you don’t espouse such pro-European views that close to Moscow. So Putin felt it to be necessary to send troops into Crimea, a peninsula in the Black Sea with historic ties to Russia, essentially invading a part of the Ukraine and foolishly anticipating retaliation so that he could expand his operations. Fortunately, nothing came of this; the Ukrainians were too smart to shoot at highly armed Russians in a disputed territory while their own nation struggled to establish a civil order. All caught up? Good, now let’s talk motivations here. Putin is the borderline fascist president of Russia who can’t seem to catch a break nowadays. He’s riding on a high horse from rightfully criticizing and impeding Washington during the dark years of the Bush presidency, but after revealing himself to the West as a virulent state of his country during the recent Winter Olympics and watching a friendly regime in the Ukraine deposed by their own people, he feels backed into a corner.

There’s nothing worse for an ex-KGB officer like Putin than seeing Western influence not only taking over the marginally independent countries of the former Warsaw Pact but now cutting deeply into what was once a central piece of the Soviet Union. For a man who probably sees himself as a Stalinesque figure guarding the Eastern Front, these must be dark days. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a pro-Western regime in the Ukraine or Nazi tanks rolling across the steppes; he feels that they might as well be the same magnitude of threat to Russia. You would have to be a rube to believe and democracy as both sides tell you. It’s Cold War-style geopolitics since the fall of the Berlin Wall, and there are thousands of the old guard in the media, academia, and our numerous national security apparatuses who are walking around with a depraved hard on because of it. We’ve been so caught up by the Arab Spring, the Occupy Movement, and the

Age Does Not Equal Maturity

popular dissent over the NSA spying revelations that we want to believe that all across the world, movements for radical change in society are deposing governments and taking a wrecking ball to the old world we once knew. In reality, it’s more of the same: relatively powerless countries playing out as battlegrounds for the powerful. It’s happening in the Ukraine, it’s happening in Venezuela, and it’s happening in Egypt. The inspiring spirit of Arab Spring is dead, and it has been coopted by the people in power to make their own cynical gains. That’s reality. Don’t let this get you down, though. Radical change in the world is necessary. Millions of Americans are unemployed, austerity in the EU is quickly erasing hope for a lost generation of young people, and youth in the Middle East have been abandoned by their governments. Radical change is needed desperately, but when revolutions sweep across the globe, ask yourself, “Are these revolutions made by people like me or made by Washington?” The answer makes all the

Chrissy Bastian Athletics Editor

Looking at marriage and kids from an almost adult perspective I slipped on the orange bridesmaids’ dress and glanced at myself in the mirror. My best friend was getting married and reality was starting to set in. At almost 22, I knew that technically I was an adult. I already took on some mature responsibilities by being the maid of honor. But the whole time, I couldn’t help being relieved that this wasn’t my wedding. No, I’m not trying to be mean—I’m happy that she was happy. In fact, I’m sure her marriage is more appropriate and stable than most at that age. But the concept of it all makes me apprehensive. The truth is, simply surpassing that adult age landmark does not automatically make us adults. There is no magical spell that changes us from teenagers to grownups. We are still grasping at that kid inside us all, not quite ready to take on the formal responsibilities of a true adult. We pretend

those obligations are things “older” adults do, whereas we are still young enough to be doing and thinking in young ways. It all comes down to the fact that most of us are still immature even in our twenties. Marriage is a big commitment. Too many people take it lightly, which leads to a lot of divorces and unhappy marriages. Perhaps with me. I’d rather think hard on this topic than jump into the situation. I know at this time in my life I am barely able to handle and take care of myself, let alone adding a husband into the equation. And I wish more people would give the subject the amount of thought it requires. There is no reason to rush. If your loved one is truly The One, then why force it so quickly? Take your time, get to know each other, and get used to the

with someone or being married. All aspects change when you move in together. A year and a half after my best friend’s wedding, I still feel unprepared for marriage, and I recently received the news that my best friend is pregnant with twins! If the idea of marriage was a shock, children are something I can’t even comprehend. I love kids, but when you babysit or work with kids, your shift ends; you get to go home and do other things. When you have your own kids, you are responsible for them 24/7. You live, breathe, and worry about your kids until your last breath. I’m still a college student worrying about what I’m going to eat for lunch and how I’m gonna pass my next midterm. There is no room to add kids to the chaos of my life. I’m sure a lot of students can agree with me. I don’t understand how young couples get themselves in these

situations unintentionally; with precautions and patience, you can avoid these situations easily. But some people are responsible and are ready to handle kids (like my friend). And for them, I wish them the best and pray everything works out. They are in for a So I leave you with this: if you’ve given marriage serious thought, if you’ve seen what your possible spouse is like when you’re living together, if you’ve thought about how handling expenses together would go down, and if it still seems like a good idea, then go ahead. You have my blessing. But if you haven’t, please do think it over. Or possibly wait. I know I’m going to hold on to this time a little longer and cherish this point in my life before I take that big step. I don’t fear it; I realize that I need to mature a little more before I’m ready to move forward.

Light Behind the Dark Doors

Sierra Patheal Campus Editor

CAPS isn’t only for catastrophes set up a meeting at CAPS, I had no idea what the acronym stood for. When she spelled it out for me—“Counseling and Psychological Services”—I nodded and smiled uncomfortably, trying to hide my shock. One of my friends was meeting with someone for psychological services? Was there something wrong? Was she going to pull an ax from her book bag and start hacking away “It’s just stress,” she added, probably noticing the manic look under my veneer of polite interest. “I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, so I decided to get some help managing it.” The explanation seemed a little odd to me, but I nodded and accepted it, turning the conversation to safer waters. After a recent semester of CAPS meetings of my own, though, I have to say that my friend understood the purpose of CSULB’s Counseling and Psychological Services far better than I did. Certainly, CAPS is there to help during the extremities I had initially envisioned, and it was something nearly as dramatic that eventually brought me in. But CAPS handles far more than

my own counseling experience, which, as I mentioned, was prompted by the most emotionally destabilizing occurrence of my entire college career, branched out to include elements relating to far more than my initial reason for visiting. My mother passed away midway through last semester, after about a week and a half in a coma following a stroke that seemed to come out of nowhere. By the time I came back to campus, I knew way too much about cranial bleeding, herniation, and natural bypasses with inadequate connections, and I also knew I was completely unprepared to continue my semester without help. So I found my way to CAPS, told them what had happened, and essentially relinquished my emotional wellbeing to their care. I can honestly say that I probably wouldn’t have made it through last semester without CAPS’ help. I didn’t leave every meeting happier than I’d entered, and I didn’t receive the panacea I’d been quietly

to build a sense of inner quietude—a calmness, in a way—regarding my mother’s passing that I would have almost thought impossible. By helping me create a place

where I could be one with my emotions, rather than needing to reassure everyone I was okay or relate what had happened once again, CAPS gave me a way to work through the emotions rather than repressing them. On sunny days when my schoolwork wasn’t overwhelming and the world seemed to be functioning, going to CAPS reminded me to acknowledge what had happened and to explicitly remember that I was—and am— going to be fragile for quite a while. And then on the horrible days, the mornings when the grey rain rushed in and the planner was full and all I wanted to do was pick up the phone and cry to a person who wouldn’t pick up, CAPS gave me a way to accept the sadness and breathe through it. Going to CAPS didn’t things myself, at least to the extent which was looking for. The part that really stood out to me, though, was not the effect that going to CAPS had on my grief—that was something I had believed in and hoped for before I ever decided counseling was a good idea—but the way the meetings weren’t entirely focused on the grief. Certainly, we talked about the effects of my mother’s

Don’t Fence Me In

passing on my daily life, but we also talked about my daily life in general. Any issue I had could be brought up, whether or not it had anything to do with my mother’s death. And when I came in one day and was genuinely okay for the time being, that was alright, too. We talked for a while, and then we concluded the meeting early and met the next week because, as my counselor explained, there was no reason to belabor anything. The meetings were constructed around my emotions and my coping process, and there was no pressure to feel either happiness or grief when I wasn’t actually experiencing it. And that helped more than I can explain. CAPS doesn’t set expectations on the people it helps. Whether you’re having troubles handling your midterms, have experienced a traumatic event and aren’t sure how to move forward, or are just plain sad, CAPS may be able to help. Don’t be like me and assume you have to have undergone something earthshattering and horrible to step through CAPS’ doors. If you think some counseling could help, stop by and ask. It’s what they’re there for, and your visits could easily end up being more meaningful than you ever expected.

Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

Some theories about CSULB’s mysterious blue enclosure I absolutely hate having Friday classes, especially if they are in the morning, so I spend most of the morning focusing on how much I hate waking up early for one class and being unable to get a proper breakfast. I should mention that when I am in a pissy mood I often don’t realize what is going on around me, but a couple of Fridays ago—I think—I noticed something very strange around the LA buildings: the blue fences. I was getting out of the shuttle and going toward the Lecture Hall building when that blue thing prevented from taking my usual shortcut. I don’t think I really paid attention to the fences because I walked around them and went to class.

For most of the class I could not help but be uncomfortable, but I only assumed it was the fact that caffeine doesn’t seem to have an effect on me. As soon as class was over, I was about to take my usual pathway towards the library bus stop when I almost hit one of those bloody fences. That was when the horror consumed me. I stood there, frozen, immobile, unable to utter a single word. Then I did what the average teenager with a smartphone would do: rant about it for six seconds on Vine. I still have no clue what those fences are for, or why they are blue, or why they are only in the LA buildings, or why they are only around the grass areas…but I do have a theory about this obviously secret

plot from part of the school. First of all, what are fences for? You’re right: to imprison people. But who is the school trying to imprison? Perhaps those Poli-Sci students who want to brainwash the whole CSULB community with their Bill of Rights and their Constitution. Or maybe they want to imprison the magical beings that live under the plants located around those buildings. To be quite honest, the most plausible theory I have right now is that someone is trying to prevent a zombie apocalypse massacre and those fences will be used to lock in the infected students and faculty. The only question is why would they choose such a short area for the fences

to be at? I would rather fence all of upper campus or perhaps a parking lot, you know, so that the zombies have plenty of space to walk around (zombies have feelings, too!). Whatever they’re planning to do with those fences, I hope they do it quickly; because I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk those extra five steps to get to class on Friday. I would love to have one of my theories come true, but I doubt the school prioritizes the important stuff, since they’re only worried about funding for the school and the well-being of the students.

5 Opinions

“I can honestly say that I probably wouldn’t have made it through last semester without CAPS’ help.”

“My depression makes me feel like everyone is

6 Culture

want to do is sit down and call it quits.”

Fighting the Good Fight A story of struggle with depression and a second shot at life Words by Catherine Bernal Contributor I don’t recall when I actually woke up in the hospital. They call it “localized amnesia.” The earliest I can recall is when my dad fed me ice chips while my family sat around my hospital bed. That’s when they told me what happened. I was admitted to the ER on January 3, 2013 for an attempted overdose. The crazy concoction I had swallowed was such an intense mixture they didn’t even sixth seizure they put me on a respirator to stop them and to prevent brain damage. they discovered that both my lungs had

days. I got out just in time for the spring 2013 semester. Because my attempt on my life was on campus, I was not allowed back into the dorms. How was I to start a semester when

second chance. The shock of what I had done to my family snapped me back into reality. I felt so guilty but I was also happy that I could start over with my family. That this serious thing was in the past now and we had gotten through it as a family. I’ve had attempts in caused a serious medical emergency. I was determined not to let this break be a waste, so I took a chemistry class at my the whole time, that happy “high” feeling I felt was quickly replaced by sadness. My life was turned upside down by an attempt I of it was secondhand information to me. My collapsed lungs made it harder to breathe, and every conversation made me feel weak and faint. I couldn’t even laugh without having to take a breather. I wish I could say that the shock scared me into a completely healthier outlook on life, but that would be a lie. My depression makes me feel like everyone is running a

Illustration by Sebastian Quintero Contributor did a good job.

past hospitalizations and doctor visits feel like a blur, and none of it helped. I feel stuck between the lack of will power to go on and the needs and desires of those around me. Do I really need to push myself through this life for the happiness of others? They say it is my life to live but I feel like I’m only doing it live for myself? Will there ever be a pill that can help me? Or am I stuck like this until fate really allows me to die? But even though there are setbacks, not every day is a bad day. For fall 2013, I found an apartment close to campus and was happy to be back in school. But the semester wasn’t easy for me. I stopped taking my anti-depressants because swallowing three pills a night brought back the muscle memories of my attempt and made me gag and nauseous each time. I didn’t see the point in taking something that did nothing for my depression and only caused me pain. I struggled to go to class and I lacked the drive to keep up with the readings. I feared the seizures had caused brain damage or that continued, the lack of doing homework started catching up with me. The turning point was when I lacked total motivation should be able to write essays in my sleep, but somehow I couldn’t write it. With some there I kept pushing and completed a poetry portfolio in 17 hours. I guess I can do this! With only three weeks left in the really buckle down. I updated my Facebook essays, one presentation, and one exam to go! I’m on a roll.” I realized that posting my progress not only gave weight to my accomplishments but also allowed others to respond and inspire me along the way. Each assignment was a countdown to completion. go, I was in the home stretch. I had done an all-nighter in preparation but it still wasn’t enough. I was all ready for the presentation,

presenting I begged my teacher to let me study in the corner when my group was

that semester. Things were looking up. This

unprepared for your presentation, you are

not to wait until the last three weeks. I’ve gone to every class and am more on top of my work than I was before. I’ve started to

bombed the presentation. With my exam in 10 minutes I gave myself two minutes to

organizations and I recently found out I made the Dean’s Honor’s List. Eventually,

my exam but after each question I started to

medicine to help me with those “hard days,”

had given myself credit for. I left knowing I

just keeps getting better and better.

Feature

826

Cover by Connor O’Brien Art Director Illustrations by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief Words by Marco Beltran Managing Editor

As students, our minds are constantly focused on one thing: advancement toward the goal of reaching an ideal sense of self. Whether that be socio-economical or professional, our lives tend to be a centered around our futures and the realization thereof, as opposed to the future of our society. It sounds a little bad to put it that way because it seems like a generalization about what the people do with their free time or that this issue should move up in the “My Lists”or queues of life above our usual priorities and responsibilities. I’m not taking some high-and-mighty stance on this issue, though. I’ve just recently come to the realization that though I cease to be involved with college once I leave it, or friends once they’ve moved off to internships across the country, or clubs once I abandon them, these things continue to exist independently of me. These things will continue to be a part of life long after I’m forgotten and dead. What I’m trying to say is that once you, me, or we reach a point where we’re comfortable with our abilities, we should start looking for ways to move on to the next tier of life, where we give back using the expertise we’ve uncovered through general life experience. For a lot of people, the way to give back is

through volunteering. That’s where 826LA comes in. My initial introduction to 826LA was through podcasts. As a writer aspiring to make the jump into the semi-visual mediums of comics and television, one of my favorite podcasts—in terms of understanding the impetus of an idea for a creator and the journey an idea can take to become something tangible—is the Nerdist Writers Panel, where, at the end of every episode, host Ben Blacker thanks 826LA for existing. And that’s where my thoughts about the organization ended: this amorphous thing coming into my ears every week. It wasn’t until I learned my good friend Leo Portugal, former Union editor and all-around cool dude, was volunteering for 826LA that the space started taking shape. I needed that one person (in my case Leo) to make the place tangible, and that’s what I’m hoping this feature will become for anyone that picks it up: jumping off point that will make 826LA a viable place for students looking for something worthwhile before and after graduation.

8 Feature

The 826 organization is a multistate program founded in 2002 by Dave Eggers and Nínive Calegari out of San Francisco in order to, in a nutshell, create a space to help nurture the creative and malleable minds of children aged six to eighteen. Since then, it’s gradually expanded to seven locations across the US. The Echo Park location, at which I spent most of my away from the Echoplex, houses a variety of tutoring opportunities and workshops that are oriented toward helping students become organization holds a variety of students can write a choose-yourown-adventure story for younger students, learn screenwriting, publish a newspaper, and put together ’zines. Students are given the opportunity to do things that most adults don’t get a chance to do. Not only do the students get a great experience, but the volunteers do as well. A volunteer illustrator trips, in which students would write a page of a story and he would have to illustrate for them by the time

826LA’s part, because once inside, one would be drawn into the magic of it all. The visitor would see the refrigerator display gutted to house strange items like fresh dinosaur eggs, cold-pressed whale oil, robot milk, caveman spears, and viking helmets, as well as a display case of donuts from the 1980s. In essence, 826LA is place to visit that would otherwise only exist in your wildest paper-hat and cardboard-sword childhood fantasies. Every detail, board advertising barbarian hunting to the giant ray gun for sale, was tended to with the curious eyes of a child in mind. The child begs to know more. What is this place? A tutoring center? How do I get involved? With this being the secret front to a tutoring center, the possible doorway for students to walk in inspired to learn and create. There’s a doorway of thick vinyl sheets, like the type one would push through to board an alien spacecraft, in the back of the store that leads into the tutoring center—a room with tall ceilings and wide wooden desks. Walking into the tutoring room can be a little

their second page. According to him, it was harder than it sounded— because he couldn’t recall a time when he had ever drawn a platypus

was rushed by a wave of chatter and laughter from students and volunteers that made me sink into my jacket as if I were reverting back to the elementary school version

treasure in Canada. In arguably one of the more rewarding programs,

I scanned the room for a chair next to the wall where I could practice

high schools to help students write their personal statements, resulting in the building of bonds with students they’ve watched grow over years in the program. The neat possibilities and ideas inspired by the kids at 826LA is

enough to talk to someone. Pedro Estrada, the Programs Assistant at 826LA Echo Park, said, “It can be

is the “Time Travel Mart.” To the unknowing passerby, the shop looks like a dilapidated convenience store. But some people might notice the caveman and robot striking up a conversation in the window display, which would probably provoke them to step inside. This, of course, is a smart decision on

here. It’s a new experience and you don’t know how you’re going to do. certain way that you have to talk to them. You can take thing the wrong way if they’re not reacting to what you’re saying, so it’s very tough to get adjusted to talking to kids.”

9 Feature

I learned that the hard way when speaking to two students attending the homework tutoring session, Dayanara and Natalie. I made a joke about how wearing glasses meant they were smart thus they had no need for tutoring. They were nowhere near as amused by that as I thought they would be. They have spent close to six and four years sessions and events. Dayanara was referred to the tutoring center by lot of help with my English because I had just come from Mexico, and it really helped me.” Natalie joined after Dayanara referred her, and workshops, her favorites being Improv and Journalism. Both agreed that the reason they came back is because the volunteers are fun and help them out tremendously. 826LA gives them the kind of one-on-one attention that sometimes isn’t possible in a school where there’s a larger ratio of students to teachers. “It can be demanding,” remarked Estrada on the pressures. “I I had was that I forgot what ‘greater than’ and ‘less than’ looked like, and I had to ask the program coordinator which is which. You don’t want to give someone wrong information, especially bad math advice. Is it the alligator eating the number or the other way around? You want to help out, but you don’t want to make it worse. ” But as with every program at 826LA, there’s a For those looking to do it, Laura Rosef put it best when she said, “There’s no special training. They don’t have to have educational and teaching experience, but the program is a little self-selecting in that respect, so it tends to attract people that are a little She started with the program two years ago as a volunteer and is now an AmeriCorps VISTA Volunteer Outreach & Support Assistant in Echo Park. I came away from 826LA a little jealous and excited for the future,

because everyone that works there, or has worked there, or even those that just volunteered once and never came back, have given these children something greater to aspire to. As someone that came from a school where you were one of 40 students vying for the attention what you’re good at, I wish there had been a place like 826LA where I could have built a relationship with someone whose sole purpose was to make me better. Even in high school, my counselor was really when I was applying for universities I was forced to fend for myself. Which brings up the idea of why a program like 826LA is important. Students with fewer opportunities and less funding need assistance become the well-rounded adults we all aspire to be and 826LA tries to provide that support. Support 826LA. Volunteer an hour out of your day or support them monetarily by buying something from the Time Travel Mart. I bought two mugs last time I was there. I’ll probably buy two more next time I go because any little bit counts. Sometimes that’s

For volunteer information visit 826la.org/volunteer/ how-to-volunteer for more details on how to get involved today and sign-up for a Volunteering 101 session that is right for you.

10 Campus

Paying Homage to Women’s History Shifting the dialogue surrounding sexual assault

Celebrating women of character, courage, and commitment

Jessica Ross Contributor

Jacqueline Toy-Sa Contributor

When I walk down the hallways on campus or along the street between bars, I often hear people say things like “How could she wear that?” or “She’s asking for it!” I even catch myself asking, “Are you sure you want to wear that out?” Nobody’s coming right out and saying it, but the elephant in the room is sexual assault. And the main myth of rape culture is the misguided belief that a woman’s clothing is related to whether or not she will be assaulted. Conversations about sexual assault, harassment, and rape generally fall under the subject of “women’s issues”—as in, women are the solution to the problem. Jackson Katz disagrees. Like so many activists and counselors who have been addressing these problems for decades, Dr. Jackson Katz tackles the issues of sexual assault head on by focusing on male perpetrators and the silent bystanders. Katz explains that since men are responsible for over 95% of sexual assault, this is a men’s issue, not a women’s issue. Katz has published two books, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (2005) and Leading Men, Presidential Campaigns and the Politics of Manhood (2012). He has appeared in several documentaries about sexism, racism, and classism, and he is the co-founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP), which aims to eliminate all forms of men’s violence

against women by using an anti-racist and anti-sexist approach. This Monday, March 3rd, Jackson Katz will give a multimedia presentation titled “Blurred Lines: Sex and Violence in Media and Real Life.” The event will be held in the USU Ballroom from 7 to 9pm. This is a must-see event. Last year I attended Katz’s presentation on our campus; it was so well-attended that

Posing for a Purpose

This Friday, March 7th, 2014, from 7 to 10pm, Alpha Phi Sorority will be presenting their philanthropy event, Mr. Heartthrob, at the Wilson High School Auditorium. Mr. Heartthrob provides the audience with an entertaining evening of watching a representative from each IFC Fraternity compete in a male beauty pageant with hopes of being crowned Alpha Phi’s next Mr. Heartthrob. Contestants perform a high-energy opening dance number; model personality wear, swimwear, and formal wear; answer an impromptu question; and compete

A beauty pageant with heart Jason Pillon and Lorraine Delarosa Contributors

audience was very enthusiastic. Katz clearly explained how our society renders the perpetrators of gender violence invisible by shifting the language to only focus on victims of abuse—asking what the victim was wearing, what time the assault happened, wondering what the victim was doing, or who they were with at the time. Given that the White House Council on Women and college women are assaulted by the time they graduate, the need for Katz’s talk is even more urgent. Women face an absurd amount of violence, and it is time to get to the core of the issues. Many men are no longer willing to be silent bystanders to the problem, but they might not be sure what to do. It is time for us to get together as a campus so we can work collectively to clear up these blurry lines that and political ways.

spent preparing for Mr. Heartthrob, in order to create a fun night that brings together the

“I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others,” said Amelia Earhart, aviator. This is but one woman from history who truly embodies this year’s Women’s History Month theme of “Celebrating Women of Character, Courage, and Commitment.” As one of her many feats, solo across the Atlantic. The month of March honors extraordinary women like Amelia who had the tenacity and persistence to accomplish great things in education, politics, relief work, business, and so much more. These women in our history are our leaders to learn from now and for future generations. in 1980, when President Carter issued a proclamation that the week of March 8th would be “National Women’s History Week.” Over the years, Congress authorized the President to proclaim March Women’s History Month each year. Keeping to the tradition of Women’s History month, the Women’s Resource Center at Cal State Long Beach has designed a collection of programs during the month of March that you can attend to further your own leadership skills and gain knowledge to help others. We are featuring speakers like Dr. Jackson Katz speaking at “Blurred Lines: Sex and Violence in Media and Real Life” in the beginning of the month. An award-winning

Greek system in support of the contestants and to raise contributions to make a positive change in the community-at-large. The show’s cost of admittance is $5 with a pre-sale ticket and $7 at the door. All proceeds support the Alpha Phi Foundation in support of the research, treatment, and prevention of heart disease. Heart disease is the number one killer of women in the United States, and the Alpha Phi Foundation has made it their mission to help spread awareness for cardiovascular care. Please come, enjoy yourself, and support this wonderful cause.

CSULB campus and screening The Chinese Gardens, which looks at the racism, resistance, and the hidden history of Chinese Americans. For those who want to make their mark through journalism, you don’t want to miss “Biting into Social Media and Women’s Stories with JAWS (Journalism & Women Symposium).” Be sure to review the Women’s Resource Center’s full calendar to see all the featured programs at Cal State Long Beach at wwww.csulb.edu/wrc. If you have any questions, please email the Women’s Resource Center at wrc@csulb.edu.

WRC Events Celebrating Women’s History Month “Asian American Stories: An Evening with Filmmaker Valerie Soe”: March 6th at 7pm in LH-151 “Sex and Protection”: March 10th, 7-8pm in USU-304 “Vagina Monologues”: March 14th, 4:30-6:30pm or 7:30-9:30pm in the Beach Auditorium “Half the Sky Screening: Education in Cambodia”: March 17th, 121pm in LA1-102 “Biting into Social Media and Women’s Stories with JAWS”: March 24th, 6:30-8pm, PSY-152

“All proceeds support the... research, treatment, and prevention of heart disease.”

11 Campus

CLASC Spring Fair brings henna tattoos, Mardi Gras beads, and beautiful masks to upper campus Beatriz Villa Contributor

Illustration by Claire DeWilde Staffer

Let the People Speak! Express your concerns about LBC at the People’s State of the City Sierra Patheal Campus Editor

It’s that time of year again, folks. Yes, it’s Spring Fair. The warm Californian weather is shining down once again over California State University, Long Beach. With midterms around the corner, and graduation too, it’s good to bask in the sunshine and relax a little during an on-campus break. So, what better way to relax than with us, the College of Liberal Arts Student Council (CLASC)? Take a little time for your brain to unwind and join the Spring Fair: Mardi Gras Celebration. CLASC and various Liberal Arts Student Organizations will be hosting Mardi Gras on the Speakers Platform, the grassy area between the bookstore and the science building, Tuesday, March 4th from 12 to 2pm. Together, we will have an array of tables featuring Mardi Gras festivities; we will have intricate masks, colorful feathers, shiny beads, and lively old bayou music, as well as many fun activities to participate in! For the geography junkies, the Geography Club will have its participants draw a mental city map of Long Beach. See if you cannot

only master tracing the boundaries of our beautiful city, but label the diverse districts within Long Beach as well. Think you’re up for the challenge? Looking for less of a mental challenge and more of a fun college night out? Stop by the Sociology Student Organization and play a round of water pong. (BYOW.) Just kidding! You don’t need to bring anything other than your wonderful self and a few enthusiastic friends. Did your parents refuse to let you get that cool flame tattoo on your ankle last year, and do you regret getting that baby blue dolphin tattoo on your lower, lower back instead? Yeah, I would too. Frankly, there is not way of fixing your little dolphin, but thanks to the Anthropology Student Graduate Association you can have a laugh and freak out mom and dad by getting a beautiful henna tattoo on your hands or face. Are you more of an innocent soul and not interested in getting tatted-up? Spring Fair will also have fun carnival games such as

a ring toss and Spoon the Balloon. Head for the Upcoming Leaders in Liberal Arts table to toss a few rings—make at least two and win a prize! Or walk over to the Psi Chi table and get competitive by placing a balloon on a spoon and tossing it around, while making the opposing players lose their concentration. Talk about great sportsmanship! As you can see, Spring Fair is hosted by students for students. We understand the importance of studying, but we also understand the importance relaxing, especially during midterms. So set down your laptop and books for an hour or two, on Tuesday, March 4th between 12 and 2pm, and meet the College of Liberal Arts on the Speakers Platform for a fun time under the warm California spring sun.

What’s the most important issue facing Long Beach today? Whether your answer to that question focuses on port operations, homelessness

E. 7th Street, North Long Beach. About

“We can’t make change by ourselves; we need diverse communities and coalitions

emissions, or psychotic teddy bear invasions, chances are there’s something you’re concerned about. On Thursday evening, across the city will be coming together at the “People’s State of the City” open forum solutions, and, most importantly, listen to the concerns voiced by the guests of honor—you. to the people in the Long Beach community,” explained April Sanchez, CSULB student and outreach committee member for the event. “Every year, the city council and the mayor but frequently, the issues that are important to the city aren’t addressed.” She listed a number of concerns—“transportation, housing, immigration reform, and good-paying jobs”— that frequently are not the main focus at to have our own State of the City—something community care about.” And that is exactly what will happen on March 6th from 5pm ’til 8pm at 700

interested community members from across Long Beach, will come together to explain issues and solicit feedback, focusing on solutions to common issues in the community. Whether you’re looking to learn about local concerns, spread the word about a problem you’ve noticed, clarify something you don’t understand, network with

in your city, stop by the People’s State of the City on Thursday. “All of these issues are interconnected,” Sanchez explained. “We can’t make change by ourselves; we need diverse communities and coalitions of all support each other.” It’s free, it’s easy, it’s meaningful, and it could lead to actual change. So come by. Lend your voice, lend your hand, lend your mind, and see some of the issues you’re worried about addressed, not ignored. “A lot of times,” Sanchez added, “people are unhappy but they feel that there’s nothing they can do. Well, this is their opportunity to who want to hear what you have to say. This is where you can go.”

people to come together [and] support each other.”

12 Entertainment

Still the Same Old G He’s back and he’s still got it Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor “Booyakasha! Big up yourself.” A few of you reading this will understand how badly I

slightly happier man. Ladies and gentlemen, Ali G has returned

style of humor allowed us to see the inner workings of people’s true psychology. For example, the Ali G character was able to expose snobbery and elitism amongst politicians, Borat was a seemingly safe character for xenophobes and other types of bigots to expose their true beliefs to, and

and roar with laughter when we see the of what’s really going on in the streets. The awkward reactions caught on camera while Cohen keeps his poker face are priceless and reminiscent of the original series.

the camera. I will not get into. Also, I should note that

during the season so we can see what other of disappoint. Ali G: Rezurection premiered last Wednesday on FXX, and brought us back to a

Iraq and Afghanistan. Sasha Baron Cohen, who plays the

and well in America.

news program in which Borat is trying to

and fall, described his fame and fortune, and included a dark and disturbing joke about his

the tailor and tries to get a suit. While the tailor is taking his measurements, Borat accuses the tailor of trying to fondle him.

In conclusion, if the rest of the season

reporter Borat and Austrian fashionista Bruno, reminded us of the shifting cultural

was newly recorded material, unlike the rest of the show. The introduction was followed

All Bets Are Off

Sex, money, power: it’s all there in the longawaited season two of House of Cards. The

House of Cards returns for another scandalous season Michael Wood Music Editor

a gentleman’s club (it’s not what you think, but there is a good joke during the segment which made the same confusion) and explains gentlemen’s traditions in

see a resurgence of Borat impersonations. It’s reassuring to know that there is still a market for Cohen’s creations and that FXX has supplied diehard fanatics with the dosage of comedic genius that is required. So tune in to FXX on Wednesdays at 10:30 pm for more madness.

Underwood has clawed his way out of the degenerate cesspool known as the United States Congress, the show really begins to

the series feels like pawns to be used by Frank in his conquest, and that’s just not realistic.

British series has taken some time to work to that, it has come back more polished and For those of you who don’t keep up with the series, House of Cards is about a powerful Southern Democrat, Frank Underwood, who, in the tradition of LBJ and the old guard of the Democratic party, cajoles, threatens and forces his way into the most

whip to his presidential aspirations. Naturally, this is not a feel-good drama. There are no Aaron Sorkin West Wing-style moments of politicians doing what’s right because they care about the country; this is the type of drama that would make Frank The second season is a departure from

how amoral he is and more of the writers showing us exactly how ruthless he can be. Some people may miss the old and far more traditional dramatic style, but I feel like the faster pace is crucial to the success of the because simple things took far too long to do, but this season has kept me glued to my seat throughout my entire binge-watch. Besides, it feels a lot more accurate for the show to be fast-paced. Washington doesn’t it seem that way just for the sake of pacing. My only complaint about this show is how little competition Frank Underwood faces. I understand that Washington is built for necessary, but come on, how fucking great can Frank Underwood be at playing these

or congressman who can stand in his way and throw a wrench into all his plans at some point. I’m just sick of Frank’s winning streak. I’m not just for someone to actually beat him! House of Cards Season 2 shows that the political drama still has feet in today’s world. It may be substantially darker than the political dramas we’re used

be remembered years from now.

Beck to the Future

Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor

adolescence was Beck’s Sea Change. Released in 2002, it quickly became (and continues to be) one of the best albums of the millennium, and for some critics, of all time. Labeled as “the ultimate breakup album” by Rolling Stone, Sea Change became the soundtrack to millions of heartbroken and melancholic teenagers everywhere. I was too young at the time to truly comprehend the simple yet visceral acoustic stylings of Beck’s magnum opus; but I was nevertheless excited to discover that Morning Phase would be the spiritual successor to Sea Change. Without a doubt, Morning Phase is a good album, but is it great? Does it live up to the legacy of Sea Change? The answer to both questions is no. There are many reasons why Morning Phase fails to capture the essence of Sea Change, but the most important factor is spirit. When Beck recorded Sea Change, the production of the album began. This

Music

Morning Phase is yet another strong album from the alternative deity

heartbreak and despair was captured on several of the tracks. This type of intangible quality is what gives Sea Change its power. It’s like listening to a modern iteration of Hank Williams. Morning Phase matches Sea Change in its sound, and its technique but since art is the idealization of human emotions, Morning Phase is unable to evoke the same feelings and wonderment that captivated audiences back in 2002. I would argue that Morning Phase is not the spiritual successor to Sea Change, rather its sonic successor. Morning Phase is a great arrangement of sounds that demonstrate how Beck has matured and mastered his skills. At its inception, Morning Phase draws us in with a soothingly hypnotic intro. “Cycle” lulls and tranquilizes the audience with an inviting ambience that prepares listeners for a series of bittersweet sadness. The next track “Morning,” follows and two passes neighbors the intro, and, in my opinion, has one of the best openings I have

ever heard. It’s opening is on par with that of Sea Change) and, dare I say, “Sunday Morning” from The Velvet Underground and Nico. As a matter of fact, Morning Phase has the vibe of Warholian art rock. Fans of Lou Reed or The Velvet Underground will understand what I mean by this. This review may seem like Morning Phase did not live up to certain expectations. I agree, Morning Phase wasn’t the album I was looking for, but it did prove to me that Beck is a consistently good musician. While this album may not be a masterpiece, it supplements the case for Beck’s musical prowess and artistic integrity. The album blends well and is not as eclectic or experimental as Beck’s other albums. Overall, this is a good, yet conservative album that should satisfy fans and newcomers alike. Notable and noteworthy songs on this album are “Blue Moon”, “Heart is a Drum”, and “Waking Light.”

Symphony of Procrastination Music to get you through midterms. Mario Lopez Contributor

Having the right music to listen to while I study is important to me. I cannot write an essay while listening to Kanye West rap, back when Gucci was the shit of rock, or Macklemore talking about wearing my Granddad’s clothes. I usually stay away from lyrics to keep my brain from wandering Kanye or how the thrift stores I go to make me look like anything but incredible. My go-to music is a playlist on YouTube called Chillstep Selection by OnlyChillstep. I use this playlist when I am writing anything from essays, to a story or poem for a class because it is so chill and dubsteppy. I still don’t know what chillstep is exactly, but it works for me. When I do any kind of project

Jose Cruz Contributor

Here’s a list of a few treasured songs from a few artists I’ve collected who have kept me sane while studying for midterm. Enjoy! Sigur Rós is a post-rock band from classical music. They create this soothingly energetic sound that pumps you up but does not distract you from what you are studying. A perfect example is their song titled ‘Sæglópur,’ which translates to Lost at Sea. The song has a nice quiet start with

or solve mathematical questions using numbers for a science or math class, I tend to listen to anything ranging from the radio, 88.1 K-jazz, 91.5 KUSC, or any local radio station. When I need to read a textbook or books for class, I’ll listen to a playlist on music is so calming, and at times it can feel epic, making my work feel that much more important and setting the stage for the big If I really need to buckle down and focus on my work I listen to the Chihei Hatakeyama station on Pandora. If I had to describe it, it is background music that is not too distracting and all the interesting sounds playing help me concentrate and add a trippy

some minor vocalizations and then the music snowballs with energy, perfect for late night reading. I suggest giving them a listen if you like a modern classical approach to your study music. If you are more into electronic music that isn’t too distracting I strongly recommend both The Avalanches and Lemon Jelly. These two groups make great chill-out music that can get you in the right mood to get down with your notes. My favorites include

4th dimension to my studying. Sometimes I even go to a website and play the sounds along with one of my playlists, which sounds awesome and brings these wonderful sounds of nature/real life to your squeaky seat at the Horn Center/home/dorm/cardboard box/living room of your parent’s home etc. I know it isn’t music, but give it a try with any of the music you listen to. Ultimately it comes down to what works for you and helps you study. It took me a while to understand music. I encourage you to experiment with all types of music and sounds. I’ll guarantee

“Electricity” and “Etoh” (I call it ethanol) from the Avalanches and ‘Come’ and “75 aka Stay with You” by Lemon Jelly. It is a real shame not a lot of people know about Sigur Rós, the Avalanches or Lemon Jelly but I suggest you give them all a listen. Combine any of these songs I mentioned you’re golden!

14 Literature

“It’s more like dead baby jokes, if those babies were starved by US sanctions against Iraq. ”

Hooked on Comics From board games to political foibles, these popular and beloved web comics have content for vastly different audiences. demonstrates the diversity of the internet and hopefully encourages people to search for comics suiting their unique interests.

Penny Arcade

Shereen Lisa Dudar Opinions Editor “It’s funny because it’s true.” That’s what one of my friends said as we clicked through the latest Penny Arcade comic strips and got to one about Magic: The Gathering. As we continued to look through the tri-weekly comic (in this case meaning uploaded three amount of hits and misses. What Penny Arcade aims to do is address the obsessive nature of video and card games as well as highlight their downfalls, usually in plot, through the eyes of Tycho and Gabe, the alter egos of Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik, writer and illustrator, respectively. I don’t have an extensive knowledge in this area, so I looked puzzled at the screen about half the time, but when I did understand the references, it was hilarious.

Get Your War On It would be rather bold to call Get Your War On the voice of a generation. Most of us in college just caught the tail end of the Bush Administration and the subsequent cleanup of the myriad of fuck-ups his presidency had wonk such as myself, this is as good as it gets. Get Your War On never made it big like XKCD or Penny Arcade or any of the other nerd culture targeted indie webcomics out there. Mostly because a reference pool that interdepartmental feuds in the US government, and people like Ahmed Chalabi, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Bremmer just don’t click with a lot of people. That’s the beauty of an indie comic, though: there are people like myself who really don’t care too much about programming and video games but absolutely LOVE sardonic little comic strips about national security and foreign

The good thing about Penny Arcade is that most of the comic strips are supplemented with a blog post, so if I don’t understand something or want an expansion of their thoughts, it’s right there. The comic isn’t strictly gamer culture though—some strips were about Amazon Prime, Orange is the New Black, World War Z, and even unicorns! I spent less than an hour on the site and I went all the way back to their September comics. It’s easy to get obsessed with this duo that represents everything I love and hate about gaming. Penny Arcade has expanded from an online comic strip to a worldwide obsession. There is a podcast, a video game, a card game, and a yearly expo in Seattle, Boston, and Australia.

Michael Wood Music Editor policy in a post 9/11 world, and great writers are able to reach us. I suppose this bears explanation. Get Your War On sounds as grim as a RAND corporation report you found on JSTOR and sure, it’s grim but not in the way that you would think. It’s more like dead baby jokes, if those babies were starved by U.S. sanctions against Iraq. The writer takes a frustrated and mocking view of the Bush administration and does everything in his power to make his little clip art figures point out the absurdity of their statements and the wars as a whole. It’s fitting for a time in history where having less than one car bomb go off per week in Iraq is considered good. The subject matter, the art style and the format of the strips really don’t have a lot going for them; however, the voice is what makes the comic. The authors voice

is blunt, sardonic, and angry but for all the right reasons. It strikes a chord with anyone who has ever come across a grim news story about a massacre in a faraway land and asked “Could someone please explain this to me without moralizing or bullshitting me?” It’s unfortunate that Get Your War On stopped publishing in 2008. After a seven and you can’t (and probably wouldn’t like Bush administration that spawned this comic. Ending gracefully when your art has run its course is a sign of a down-to-earth the feelings of news junkies in the United States is absolutely incredible and while Get Your War On will never go down in the history books, it’s a quality indie comic that will be fondly remembered by its bitter, left-wing fans.

15 Food

Illustration by Hazuki Onaga Staffer

The Union Staff shares their favorite pizza joints

Toppings Bianca Lemus Staffer Alright, everyone, let me share one of my most shameful secrets. I am a selfproclaimed pizza-holic. Seriously, there is something about that soft, melted, warm texture that draws me back in every time a slice of pizza is place near my premise. As a person who is attempting to be glutenfree and a raw-food lover, you can imagine I have problems! So before I give up my pizza loving ways, I’ll give you my take on how to transition from heavy dough volcanic lava pizza (like Pizza Hut) to a much healthier light weight, guilty-free pizza. Enjoy. For the hundreds of CSULB students circle, you might have already heard about Toppings. For the other thousands of CSULB commuters, let me break this place down for you. Toppings is basically a make-

motto is that they can have your pizza in If I had to describe it I would say it is like the Chipotle of pizza. Most of the options

When I went, it was a bit longer than that, but I’m sure by request you can have it within the

surreal meat toppings like chicken, beef, salami, and pepperoni. They also let you pick from various sauces like red sauce, pesto, other white sauce, to nothing if you’d like. What really has my taste-buds jumping for joy are all the fruits and veggies! They literally will put anything on and as much as you like—arugula, basil, tomatoes, pineapple, dry cranberries, dried tomatoes capers, and peppers, to name a few. Basically at Toppings, your wish is their command. Alright, you might be thinking I hate waiting for food to be ready. Throw that excuse out the window now! Part of their

Now let’s get to my taste testing, because I know that is why you’re reading this, right? So I requested that half of my pizza be a Bianca (named after me of course), which is basically a creamy, Alfredo-like pizza, but I hate white sauce, so I requested a pesto sauce and added arugula. The other half was my all-time favorite: their Gorgonzola Pear. Basically the Gorgonzola Pear pizza had both these ingredients, plus honey, and no sauce, I added cranberries, arugula, basil, and some salami. The warm honey-

Pieology

Rebecca Komathy Staffer

Paula Tena Contributor rib, mozzarella, caramelized onions, and some fresh basil leaves. On a pizza. The pie itself is a really decent size, enough to share with a small group or eat all by yourself if

logo is a communist pig, so it shouldn’t be that hard to locate when you are looking

into your taste buds, hitting you with the burst of basil and the creamy cheese. Then you starts to taste the little single pockets

food truck, but it’s a good thing the owners decided to plant a permanent spot for their deliciousness. Once I walked in, the atmosphere was really laid back and the It’s a neighborhood restaurant, so it has the nice small-town feel to it. Anyway, I got the Karl Marx B pizza. Oh my lanta! This pizza is essentially the reason for the revolution. And also why it happened. Basically, the pie is made up of some simple yet bursting-

including their Snowball Pie, which is just as amazing by the way, to sandwiches, pasta, and of course beer. I suggest getting a couple friends, ordering an Animal Farm pizza, and course garlic fries. You will have one of the best meals of your life. Don’t forget happy hour!

ladies and gentlemen, I have a big appetite The variety of pizza creations is great and pizza appears to be a healthier alternative and even swankier option to a pizzeria, but it is just as equally satisfying. Although, there is one highly aggravating aspect about their Toppings pizza: their non-gluten crust option will cost you two dollars more. That’s just way too over-priced. But in a world where we have to be realistic, I guess no place is entirely perfect, right?

time I try it is just crave-alicious! I love the

Rebel Bite PIZZA and CRAFT BEER ON TAP. Yes, you heard me right, there is a god. This place is a local favorite tucked away between Broadway and Lime, so it can be kind of

Gorgonzola Pear. The nice thing about ordering a pizza at Toppings is that it’s highly misleading. You really don’t think that this thin, crispy, doughy dough crust

Pielogy: the study of custom pizza? Count me in! As a cheap-ass college student and pizza enthusiast, Pielogy has become one of my favorite pizza spots. With $7 personal thin crust pizzas and a Chipotle-esque ambiance, I have fallen in love. Just like our beloved go-to Mexican food joint, Pielogy toppings. Don’t like tomato sauce on your pizza? BAM—there’s herb butter and olive oil as base substitutes. Do you love cheese? They got mozzarella, ricotta, Parmesan, and

Gorgonzola. If you’re not as daring and don’t want to get too crazy, you can also order their classic combinations like Cheese, Though the line is almost always out the door, I would say that it goes by pretty fast. So the next time you’re at Irvine Spectrum or Fullerton—don’t think twice about stopping by. Get your ass in line and order a damn pizza! After one bite you’ll wish you were majoring in Pielogy.

Volume 74 Issue 7

Monday, March 3, 2014

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Hey, God Warrior Here. You can gaze into the future. You might think life would be a breeze. Seeing trouble from a distance. But then it’s not that easy. I try to save the situation then I end up misbehaving. Send Peaches to 1212 Bellflower Blvd Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. In Shangela’s name, I pray you submit lime-a-ritas via email to grunion@lbunion.com.

THE DRATINI THAT WAS INSIDE OF ME Child actor and star of the popular Pokémon series Ash Ketchum recently revealed he is gay, shocking many. Ketchum revealed that “it has been a tough life being in the limelight” while hiding his sexuality. Though by Zuck Vulcan he was notoriously linked with several of his leading ladies, such

(popular slang for “vagina”) was simply not for him. “All these years of acting, while people threw their pokéballs in my face left and right...I don’t know how I managed,” Ketchum confessed. “I felt like I was living a lie, like I was living in this imaginary world with imaginary characters and imaginary laws of physics.” Though he maintains good friendships

with several of his co-stars, he revealed that he has developed an even greater

considered more or less taboo, and now I think there’s this whole movement

infamous crime trio Team Rocket. “Yeah Team Rocket, if you know what I mean,” he laughed, in an interview with GayMag. He also said that a few of his closer friends have known about his true sexuality for quite some

“Yeah, I think it was really cool of him to be

explore myself, and opened me up to so many different things,” he admitted. “I’m really grateful for that. I always wanted to be my very best, you know?” However, a while, afraid of being judged due to him eventually. He was surprisingly cool about it,” Ketchum said. Ash also has the support of his many fans. “For years, the subject of sexuality within the Pokémon world has been

is planning a live-action reboot for the fall 2014 season, ordering a full 12 episodes. The series will consist of a premise similar that it will be set in a quaint village in

Ash coming out, we believe more people

said a representive of the North American

have been swirling as well, including

created for this reason!” As for his acting, Ketchum is attempting to play more racy characters. He recently followed Daniel Radcliffe’s footsteps and took over his role in the Equus. Since Ketchum’s have gained serious popularity boosts. view the entire series on its platform for

NEW STUDY LINKS PREGNANCY TO WEIGHT GAIN renowned

doctors

drank, had fun, and developed chemistry

daytime-TV hosts, recently teamed up to conduct revolutionary studies to

interfere with the dynamics in the house in order to create as real of a setting as possible, like in the popular series The Real World. After a month in the environment sans contraception in the house, six girls became pregnant, and that’s when the medical epiphany became apparent. The eating patterns of the six girls began to exponentially grow. They went from eating merely a cube of cheese for lunch

of today’s very alarming problems. One study has found a correlation between teenage obesity and teenage pregnancy. After 12 months of following 20 subjects, 10 of which were teenage girls and 10 of which by McCulkey Culkin

that being pregnant at a young age leads to over-eating and eventually obesity. The teenagers were locked in a Real World-type environment for 12 months, originally to observe their eating patterns.

heavy meals in one day, eventually eating amounts of food that would serve at least two persons. Five months into the gained at least 30 pounds, while the rest

of the subjects stayed the same. ”It is a remarkable discovery,” said Dr. between the two. It was staring us right in the face for years, and it went unnoticed.” The weight gain continued for the duration of nine months, though some miraculously lost some of the weight on the tenth and eleventh month of the study. the reason for the sudden weight loss, but one thing is clear to both of them— pregnancy leads to obesity. research and concluded by saying, ”At least now we know that the answer to prevent teenage obesity is obviously abortion.”

fund more research by the two innovative

INSIDE

dressing up in woman’s clothing for when future research begins.