5
There is confusion between having an opinion and having a relevant
Issue 72.01
—Vanessa Correa, University of California Creative Director behind UC’s rebranding attempt
Vincent Chavez, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Colleen Brown, Managing Editor colleen.union@gmail.com Gabe Ferreira, Managing Editor gabe.union@gmail.com Marco Beltran, Senior Editor marcob.union@gmail.com Michael Wood, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Brianne Schaer, News Director news@lbunion.com John Villanueva, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Wes Verner, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Colleen Brown, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com Rose Feduk, Comics Editor comic@lbunion.com Duchess of Spain, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com Gabe Ferreira, Art Director gabe.union@lbunion.com Nichole Daniels, Illustration Editor nichole.union@lbunion.com connor.union@lbunion.com web@lbunion.com Brian Mark, Art Director brian.union@lbunion.com Assitant Editors: Camile Hove, Ingrid Rosales, Tanya Paz. Staffers: Joseph Phillips, Jon Bolin, Kevin Ng, Sierra Patheal, Amy Patton, Mike Cleland, Rachel Clare, Tyler Dean, Nate Musser, Lili Dove, Melissa Casas, Wes Young, Mariha Lowe. The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union weekly, not ASI or CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject toediting and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Questions? Comments? Queens? Beach, CA 90815. E-mail: info@lbunion.com
LBUnion.com
Letters to and from the Editor Gabe Ferreira Art Director Hello! Welcome back. I am sure you are all happy for the start of another semester at CSULB. Or better, I hope you are as excited for Spring as your loving Union Weekly staff. First off, I would like to let you know that, unlike every issue of our publication so far (and as you might have already noticed), this is not Editor-inChief Vincent Chavez who is writing. With that said, please don’t expect witty and obscure humor, two cents, fluent English, logical sentences, and intelligent analogies. However, I will do my best to entertain you with a rather cool announcement. One needs a strong reason to convince Mr. Chavez that they deserve a few hundred words in the first page of the Union Weekly, and I am glad I could be persuasive enough during my various pitches to The Boss. I became Art Director and Managing Editor of the Union one-and-a-half years ago (after another two years volunteering as a graphic designer)which, as I hoped it would, completely changed my career and college experience for the better. The Union quickly became a platform for huge
personal growth; a publication that offered everything I’d ever needed to become a better designer and put the things I’d learned in the classroom to practice. There was no client to tell me what to do, no professor to impose limitations, a multitude of ideas from a talented and open-minded staff, an audience that loved the work we produced, and an opportunity to affect a huge campus community in some way or another. I will be forever grateful to the art director and the staff of writers that taught me so much of what I know, but just as importantly, I owe the Union Weekly. After three years working here, I felt it was the right time to use everything I have learned so far to invest in the present and future of our publication. I gathered feedback from our editors and writers and collaborated with our Editor-in-Chief, Photography Editor, and a fellow designer and classmate to create a new design system for the Union that includes a new logo, more striking covers, a simplified layout, and an overall better reading experience. Though we understand that design is
a small part of what makes the Union, we hope our fresher approach to design reflects the values for which we stand. The Union takes pride in providing the CSULB community with quality stories, creative content, and an opportunity for every student on campus to express themselves. To end this welcome letter on a less self-centered note (yes, I know that nobody really cares about the little things designers get crazy about), I would like to encourage every student, faculty, and staff to contribute to the Union Weekly. I can’t emphasize enough the impact that contributing to a print and web publication of relatively high circulation can have on not only the contributor himself/herself, but also on our campus community. We are an outlet for every cause, opinion, and article you feel worthy of being broadcast to our large campus community. As we have always said, we are made by students, for the students, and we would love for you to be a part of this organization. Have a great semester, and enjoy the Helvetica overload!
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
Debt Deja Vu ‘Tis the Season to be Greedy Michael Wood Opinions Editor
Illustration by Rose Feduk Comics Editor
Oftentimes, I flip the TV to CNN or pick up the newspaper and I’m struck with the feeling that I’ve seen this all before. I’m tempted to believe that this isn’t possible, unless I have amnesia and Doc Brown took me down the highway at 88 miles per hour in the DeLorean. I feel like I may be losing my mind every time I read the newspaper and we find ourselves as a nation coping with the same exact problems we did a couple of months ago. It’s unreal and it’s disconcerting, but my psychologist says I’m just fine. No, the problem is that we as a nation are dealing with the same exact problem as we were a year ago or several years ago. I’m talking of course, about the debt ceiling. For those of you who keep up with politics, you may remember the near government shutdown in the summer of 2010 as commentators howled about our nation’s fiscal sanity. You may remember heated negotiations between both parties in Congress and the sense of impending doom that we’ve grown accustomed to in this country nowadays. And more of you probably remember getting out of school last semester and hearing nothing but buzz over the fiscal cliff and coming home hungover to the news that a last minute deal was struck a day after the deadline. Congress seems to work much like I do, putting together last minute solutions hours after the so-called “last minute” has gone by. But here we are again, only a couple weeks after the last sigh of relief and averted fiscal crisis with another one that we’ve already seen before. I’m tempted to believe that Congress is currently run by procrastinating undergrads rather than the experienced, wise and competent folks we are always tricked into believing our representatives to be. Luckily for us, our ever so wise and competent representatives have a plan
OPINIONS
3
of action; they’re going to delay any real discussion on the debt until three months from now. The Republican Party reluctantly agreed to the plan only with the promise of Democratic cooperation in drafting an actual budget. The Democratic Party, who has been in control of the Senate and White House for four years, have not actually drafted a budget in that time. They’ve relied upon bills pushed through congress that appropriate funds on an individual basis rather than a cohesive single budget that details where our billions in tax dollars are going. Frankly, I’m sick and tired of the budget being a playground for political points. Last time we had this discussion, the federal Pell Grant program was significantly cut. Just a few weeks ago, during the fiscal cliff negotiation, payroll taxes were increased for workers still coping with the ever more desperate labor market and stagnating wages that have remained repressed since the Reagan era. This is not an easy problem to fix and I realize that. Due to our wars overseas, we spend more on our military than the next top 14 spenders combined, 12 of which are our allies. Medicare and the Affordable Healthcare Act cost a pretty penny to provide our citizens with the basic right to medical treatment. Taxes are the lowest they’ve been in generations while we spend more and more money. The bailouts we were forced to give when facing the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression exceed 2 trillion dollars according to the New York Times. We have a deep problem with debt and we don’t know whether implementing austerity measures like those made in Greece or Spain will save us or sink us. All I want to see is an honest effort from our representatives to fix the problem rather than forcing the American public to face this crisis time and time again.
Xbox and the White Supremacy Movement Also Zombies. Don’t Forget the Zombies John Villanueva Music Editor
I’m not much of a gamer, but like many of my social inept, out of work twentysomething kin, I do hold a fascination for zombies. Which is why my roommate’s purchase of the new Call of Duty peaked my interest. The new Call of Duty for those who do not know, contains the multiplayer “Zombies” mode, which allows players to take a rest reenacting vengeful, pent up adolescent fantasies on pixelated beings in order to reenact vengeful, pent up adolescent fantasies on dead pixelated beings. You get to kill zombies, and you get to kill them in the most fantastic ways possible, with shotguns and lasers and shit and there’s a lightning guy and monkey-rats and everything necessary for
the recipe of laziness and fortysomething basement dweller complacency. While this is all nice and fine, these games also tend to dig up the dredges of human indecency and all around dickface-ness. What I’m saying is, there are a lot of racist and homophobic people on Xbox Live. A LOT. Enough to fill the seas of a thousand racist and homophobic oceans. Enough to make brother Jed shit out his mouth then eat it and jump off of a 20 story building. (That would be kinda cool actually, but I digress.) You will find some of the vilest people lurking the grounds of the Xbox-sphere. Once, I was playing a game and a guy started to tea-bag a dead zombie. One of the other players, a human
being with decency, told him to cut it out, which the teabagger then responded with, “SHUT UP SO I CAN FUCK YOUR DEAD SISTER SOME MORE.” To follow up what might be one of the least desired phrases to hear in history, he said, “AND IF SHE’S NOT DEAD I’LL KILL HER THEN FUCK HER IN FRONT OF YOU AND I’LL SHIT IN HER MOUTH.” Whoa buddy, no need to top it off like that. It’s not even that they say vile things, these sub-humans are some of the most creative assholes in history. I have never heard more variations of the N word than I have in a fifteen minute round of Zombies. What I’m trying to say is, keep it up, buddies.
4
CULTURE
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
Heavy Thrifting Shopping on a budget doesn’t have to mean heading to a cheesy discount store and spending $40 on last season’s tacky leftovers. Thrift shopping offers folks a chance to form a personal bond with their clothes when they’re looking for a come-up. This is fucking awesome. The thrill of the hunt is almost as rewarding as finding a pair of vintage shoes or that designer T-shirt you wouldn’t ever be able to afford if it hadn’t already
LB guide for shopping on the cheap
been worn around town a few times by a complete stranger. Luckily for that shirt, its days of receiving compliments arenot over just because its previous owner grew bored of its charm. You, oh dedicated thrifter, will be there to save it from a fate of being shredded and sold as an ugly, recycled washcloth. Once you get over the semi-off-putting scent of some thrift stores and their clothing, you can really score some deals.
Out of the Closet Beach, CA 90804 Hours: Mon - Sat 10 a.m. to 7 p.m., Sun 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
There is no better combination than shopping and getting an HIV test. It’s always a good time to make sure you’re in good health. But before this becomes a lecture on sexual health and well-being,
inretrospect
2122 E 4th Street, Long Beach, CA 90814 Hours: Mon - Thurs 12 p.m. to 6 p.m., Fri - Sat 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sun 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Any Long Beach area thrift shop list would be incomplete without a mention of the beloved Retro Row. Stretching from Cherry to Junipero is a nice selection of 40+ hip and happening
Buffalo Exchange 4608 East 2nd Street, Long Beach, CA 90803 Hours: Mon - Sat 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Sun 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.
The clothes at Buffalo Exchange are hand-picked by employees from shoppers just like yourself. This basically means that a snooty customer service representative is acting as a barrier
Salvation Army 1940 W Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90006
Okay, you caught me…this one’s not in Long Beach. But it’s my all-around favorite, so I couldn’t resist. Of course, there are Salvation Army locations
Brianne Schaer News Director
Actually, you can even open a shop on Etsy and start generating some income today. But who wants to sell the clothes that they worked so hard to find? You should wear them. Show them off. Let everyone know that they may not see another one like it again because they got destroyed during the civil rights movement. These special, one-of-a-kind clothes and furniture are occupying places in thrift and vintage shops all over southern
California and beyond. They are just waiting for the perfect buyer to snag them up and enjoy. In a small effort to provide a few ideas, I will now roll out a grossly incomplete list of some local thrift stores that are ripe and ready for poppin’ tags. So don’t get tricked by a business. Head to that thrift shop down the road. Thank Macklemore and Ryan Lewis for a song you can laugh with.
I’ll just throw in the benefits of shopping at a store whose proceeds benefit the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. So not only are you buying cheap clothes and reducing your environmental footprint, but you’re also technically donating money to a good cause. If that’s not giving back to the community, then I don’t know what is. The store is
relatively large, and has all sorts of fun and unique items for your shopping pleasure. Whether you’re looking for a cool outfit to wear to a time period-themed party or a few records, you can find it at Out of the Closet. If you’re like me and just can’t get enough of Out of the Closet, check out their other locations in Echo Park and Hollywood.
shops and restaurants, and inretrospect is smack dab in the middle of it all. This store has the best selection of furniture, artwork, glassware, clothing, hats, board games, books, and basically anything else that you would never need but wonder how you’ve been living without it all your life. It’s the type of store that just begs you to pack your bag and move in. Oh, and it doesn’t have that stuffy smell
that grows on items stored in a garage or closet for 52 years before being donated. After spending a good amount of time checking out all the nooks and crannies inretrospect has to offer, you can check out the other shops on the street that sell everything from roller skates to original artwork, or catch a movie at the Art Theater. Be prepared to spend an entire afternoon here.
between someone’s old clothes and the racks you will eventually dig through. I’ve tried selling clothes to Buffalo Exchange, and I was shot down. My Levi’s jeans and pencil skirts apparently weren’t “in season.” They did give me $4 for a pair of shorts, but it wasn’t enough.
Once clothing items make it through the rigorous buying process, they are significantly marked up in price, and better brands are even more expensive. Although there are some good finds here, I will be the first to admit that I cannot afford to shop at Buffalo Exchange.
throughout the Southland, so there is no viable reason to travel to Los Angeles specifically for this Salvation Army. Besides the fact that there is an awesome selection that makes it worth the commute. The clothes are cheap to begin with, but items that have been there too long are 50% off, and there are also random 50% off sales on the entire
store. Yes, that includes furniture. It is also a good idea to find out what time the truck comes to drop off inventory, so you can be there and get first dibs on the load. Salvation Army’s are my go-to thrift stores because the clothes are cheap, and everything is mixed together, so if you hunt long and well enough, you can find some nice things at a low price.
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
FEATURE
5
HASHTAG OVERLOAD Vincent Chavez Editor-in-Chief
During break I had the pleasure of spending hours gathered around television, laptop, and iPhone screens with my friends. One cold December night a small group of us spent roughly two hours watching YouTube clips. Somewhere between a Craig Ferguson interview with Rebel Wilson and the “Riff-Off ” clip from Pitch Perfect, I became vaguely aware that I was living in a new era of entertainment and social interaction. In the past decade, the Internet has spilled into every medium it could wrap its greedy tentacles around. Gone is the era in which TVs solely played television shows or phones simply received calls. Now, you can watch or listen to anything on any device you choose. HD televisions display YouTube videos with increased clarity, iPods are the optimal outlet for listening to Internet podcasts at your convenience, and television has undergone a rebirth with streaming websites like Hulu, and other less legal sources that we are prohibited to mention in print (but send me a quick email and I’ll send you some links). Modern media consumption is marked by options, tailored around your needs and schedule. Watching, consuming, and sitting front row center is our generation. For college students who witnessed the birth of the smart phone and the evolution of the Internet first hand, spending countless hours logged onto multiple electronic devices is commonplace. We’ve grown very comfortable juggling multiple screens and being constantly stimulated. The Internet is an interest, hobby, life source, and for many of us, part of our jobs. But with this reliance, we are barely beginning to understand the Internet’s effect on the way our generation socializes and consumes media.
Social media has to be one of the most significant factors in the way us young folks interact with each other. If you’re like me, you’ve had conversations fragmented by the electronic chirps and dings of tweets and status updates. Real life conversations are often filled with threads from recent Facebook chats or Twitter messages. We spend so much time on them that it’s difficult not to bring up social media in a real world context. Besides our conversations, social media has altered the way we behave. We are a generation of documenters, compulsively pinning and posting about clothes bought, breakfasts eaten, and good times had. Image blog websites like Tumblr and Pinterest feed into this documentation culture as they offer us the ability to archive, organize, and share our personal sensibilities. As much as we are documenters, we are also a generation of sharers and, in many cases, oversharers. The compulsion to share your thoughts and feelings can be dangerous though, especially when you’re clinically vain and/or painfully self-conscious. We’ve all begun a post, edited it, and then gone back and forth whether or not to publish it. Then again, with all the ironic hashtags, drunken posts, and instagrammed food pics clogging up our feeds, perhaps we’re in need of a refresher on the subject of self-editing. The obvious negative side effect of documenting life’s minutiae and sharing every thought that enters your head is that inevita-
6
FEATURE
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
bly you spend more time plotting your next pithy tweet and less time, you know, living. I’ve always been of the mindset that tweeting about having a blast is never as much fun as actually having said blast. By no means am I suggesting that we abandon our laptops and smartphones, forage for food in the forest, and live out our days in a log cabin built with our bare hands. The social aspect of the Internet is one of the reasons I cannot live without it. Point being, the most fun I’ve had using social media was when I was using it with friends, in real life. One night in particular, my friends and I spent two hours just scrolling through The Hunger Games tag on Tumblr. We then stumbled upon a gifset of Jennifer Lawrence whipping her hair for a Rolling Stone photo shoot and spent the rest of the night impersonating the elegant yet raw sexual power of that hair flip. Days later, I left a video of that impersonation on my friends’ Facebook walls. I cannot describe the exhilarating mixture of joy and embarrassment I had making and posting that video. I remember thinking, “This is my life now; this is how I entertain myself.” I didn’t know it then, but I was speaking for most of us.
2
TEN SOCIAL MEDIA TRENDS WE COULD LIVE WITHOUT
Generic Quote Posts
90s Nostalgia
“The less you give a fuck, the happier you’ll be.” Chances are, you saw that quote on your Facebook or Instagram feed in some awful typeface over break. While I can get behind people taking control of their own happiness, this is a perfect example of a quote being taken out of context. Consider, for a moment, all the possible meanings of “not giving a fuck”: Who gives a fuck about school, let’s party. Who gives a fuck about shallow parties, get ahead at your job. Who gives a fuck about what people think, I love comic books. Who gives a fuck about what people think, I love cocaine. You see what I mean? I understand that many people will take it from the perspective of not caring about what other people think, but many people will also take it as a justification to be lazy, judgmental, or irresponsible. Another common culprit of quotes being taken out of context is virtually anything Marilyn Monroe said. To begin with, half of the stuff she’s credited with saying are things that she never even said. And seriously, how stupid are her quotes anyway? “If a man can’t handle me at my worst, he sure as hell doesn’t deserve me at my best.” Hooray! Another woman just validated her insane, bitchy behaviors, with what is apparently a promise of good sex later. Keep in mind, you’re taking advice from a woman who also apparently said, “Men are always ready to respect anything that bores them.” Quotes can be inspirational, but by posting generic, cliché “words of wisdom,” you’re only reminding people that you know how to use a search engine.
Ah, the 90s. Bill Clinton, the Information Superhighway, grunge music, coffee shops and Seinfeld. It truly was an era to remember. Unless you’re a student reading this paper, in which case you were probably born at the start of it and don’t remember much other than a few seemingly quaint toys and vague recollections of getting up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons. That’s why this 90s nostalgia seems more than a little misplaced to me. Of course, we will all remember the times we lived through when we were very young with fondness and nostalgia, I’m not trashing on that. However, is it really necessary for people to post on Facebook proclaiming their status as a “90s kid” every time they catch a rerun of Pokémon or Hey Arnold! on TV? Please, give your peers a short little break from being reminded that we were born into the same decade. Your Peter Pan syndrome escapism from the slowly approaching reality of adulthood doesn’t come off as cute, it just seems desperate
YOLO YOLO, an acronymic motto meaning “You Only Live Once,” is completely absurd. Besides being equivalent to spitting in the face of Ganesha and reincarnationbelieving Hindus everywhere, YOLO is basically just a rehashing (often in hashtag form) of “carpe diem.” Thanks (but no thanks) to rapper/actor/raptor Drake and his song “The Motto” (where he sings, “You only live once, that’s
Union Weekly—22 January 2013 the motto...YOLO”), YOLO became the most used slang on social media in 2012 after being adopted by teenagers everywhere. But these stupid teens are still so young! There’s no need for all this living right now. Having memorable, life-changing experiences is a real hassle and typically requires leaving the house (UGH, am I right?). Teens, heed my advice: just do what I did at your age and fill your lives with countless hours of Dragon Ball Z and The Sims. Then you can plan on truly living after it’s already too late! I’m sure I’ve already convinced you of the need to end YOLO, but what can we do to change things? To make the world a better place? I have a proposal. Henceforth, I decree that the only use of YOLO be in conjunction with wearing BOLO ties.
Hashtag Overload
Ridiculous DIY Projects Pinterest is the home page on my computer. I adore being able to have an online bulletin board for recipes, fashion inspiration, and interesting Do-It-Yourself projects. But with DIY projects, there is a caveat—they need to be reasonably doable. Of course, most people try to make things themselves not because it’s easy, but because it’s cheaper. However, some of the projects on Pinterest are absolutely ludicrous in the name of “saving money.” Visiting the “DIY & Crafts” section, you can immediately find stupid directions for how to crochet an angel food cake with strawberries, how to make a chandelier from a yoga ball, and how to roll baby onesies into the shape of a cupcake. Sure, some of the stuff might be cool (for ten seconds), but it’s excessive, and not even particularly useful. I understand if someone wants to do something like reupholster a piece of furniture themselves, but when it comes to making shoes for your child out of an old sweater, it’s worth it to go to Payless. Pinterest has turned hobbies and crafting into a senseless competition, where no one actually makes the projects. But that’s the essence of the website, I suppose— creating a fantasy life that sadly, you will never, ever have.
I get how hashtags came about. They were used to provide a way for people with similar interests to find each other on Twitter. But that doesn’t work unless they are common. When people tweet things like, “Just washed my jacket #ilovethatlaundrysmell” we end up with a million subcategories because each time someone wants to use one they make up a new phrase, regardless of whether it’s already a thing or not. And when the fuck did hashtags make the jump to Facebook? Facebook doesn’t even support hashtags! Now everyone posts menial photos and inspirational quotes with things like #yummyinmybelly and #ifyoufalliwillcatchyoueverytime. They’re hard to read and no more expressive than a regular sentence. Just take the two extra seconds to space and punctuate, for the love of God. #nowi’mdoingittoogoddammit
Instagram Filters If there’s anything that gets my granny-panties all sagged out, it’s this modern day practice of slapping a color filter over any photo to make it look “vintage.” Granted, old-looking photos are cool. Is a photo of your dirty feet cool? No. Is a photo of your dirty feet that looks like it’s straight out of the ‘70s cool? It’s Dy-nomyte, foxy mama. Or at least, that seems to be the thought-process behind many a failed Instagram post.
Inspirational Tumblrs Alright, I’ll say it. I’m sick and tired of anything that can be described as inspirational. Not that inspiration is a bad thing or that I’m some grumpy old curmudgeon. I actually love the exhilaration that comes with inspiration; there are few things in the world that compare with it. No, I’m just sick of the cheesy and trite quotes, sentiments, and images that you find on the internet if you simply search the word “inspiration”. The worst offenders here are posts on Tumblr tagged with the word “inspirational.” A
simple search of the tag gives me a bad case of “Hallmark Nausea,” that sickening feeling you get in your gut whenever you read a particular bad, cheesy, or just plain stupid greeting card. Frankly, I just want it all to end. The sentiments behind it and the intentions are great, but I can’t stand to hear someone say “Be yourself,” “Hold on, pain ends,” or absolutely anything about “Finding your greatness within.” These are all quotes found on the inspirational tag on Tumblr, usually reblogged every time some teenager confronts a moment of pain or discomfort in their life. I’m all for freedom of speech but this egregious toll on my stom-
FEATURE
7
ach must be countered. So I propose that every time someone reblogs something marked as “inspirational” on tumblr, that they send me a packet of green tea and an antacid to soothe this gut sickened by their naiveté and sappy sentiments.
8
MUSIC
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
Union Weekly ever Songwriting Contest Put that broken heart to use for some fun prizes John Villanueva Music Editor Illustration by Rose Feduk Comics Editor Hello, fellow Cal State Long Beach students. It’s John Villanueva, Music Editor of the Union Weekly, here to announce some exciting news. For the first time in the publication’s history, the Union Weekly is proud to announce the commencment of our first and hopefully not last Valentine’s Day songwriting competition.With the holiday quickly approaching, we felt like it would be appropriate to hold a competition that was not only a display of the holiday spirit, but also showcased the talents of the many students at Cal State Long Beach. Long Beach has a rich musical history, and CSULB is no different. From members of The Offspring to Sublime, Cal State Long Beach plays host to many talented musicians, and we want to help delve
further into that talent pool. By holding the contest, we hope to bring out some of CSULB’s most creative for a night of mirth and great music. The rules are simple. You must write and perform your own love song. No gimmicks, just pure, from the heart musicality. Songs can be performed on guitar or piano or you can just sing by yourself. Friends or a backing band can also accompany you, but submissions must be on an individual basis. Songs must be between three and five minutes long. Besides that, you have free reign over your material. You can create your work with any materials you have and with whoever you want. You can write about love, you can write about loss. You can write about stalking, you can confess
your love for a fellow student (or teacher). You can record with an orchestra, or you can use just a mic and an old tape deck. It’s up to you. Submissions must be received by February 7th. Submissions can either be in video format or as an mp3. You can either drop off your submission at the Union office (which is on the bottom floor of the Student Union, next to the pool tables), or you can send an mp3 or link to my email or the Union Weekly page on Facebook. A copy of the lyrics must accompany each submission. We at the Union Weekly will choose our favorites. These top contenders will perform at The Nugget (tentatively) on Valentine’s Day. We will then judge the performance according to vocal ability, stage presence, and lyrical content.
The top three will receive the following prizes:
Gun Control
the focal point of the evening wasn’t the pizza, the atmosphere or even the conversation with my friends, it was the raw showmanship of Single Barrel Six. The music itself was fantastic; The raw punk energy, the attitude of metal and showmanship reminiscent of the great hard rock artists of the past 40 years all ensured that there would never be a dull moment in the audience. Upon hearing that this was one of their first shows, I was stunned. If I had to guess, I would’ve thought I was listening to a band that has been playing at bars and venues for a couple years at least. Of course, showmanship, stage presence and confidence are only half of the battle. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was listening to musicians that pride themselves on ability as well. From the frantic and melodic guitar solos to the fast paced drumming, from the ambitious bass lines to the soulful and powerful vocals, there was never a dull moment watching this band. Their set list, though short, was varied and interesting. Between the hard rock anthems and aggressive metal influenced
tunes, I was surprised by a catchy ballad. It was just short of tone whiplash when the singer announced his ballad after a headbanging metal tune. I had a chance to talk to Robert Turner, a Cal State Long Beach student and lead guitarist for Single Barrel Six. When asked about the musical influences of his band as a whole he said, “We all come from very diverse backgrounds, musically speaking. It’s part of what keeps our music interesting, we don’t stagnate because we aren’t all listening to the same bands over and over again. Personally, my songwriting is influenced by a lot of punk and metal. Some of the bands that inspire me are The Restarts, NoFX, Iron Maiden and Mastodon.” This was more than evident in their music, I picked up on a few songs that were very reminiscent of Iron Maiden and a few more guitar solos that reminded me of NoFX’s speedy and melodic solos. I also asked him about the broader elements of being a musician, namely what his best memory from this band
was, despite it’s young age. He hardly needed any time to think before responding with, “I have to say, our first show was a backyard show in Baldwin Park called Decemberfest. I was so surprised to see such a great audience reaction to our set, considering it was our first real performance. It was a fantastic feeling to know that we played the best set out of all the bands who took the stage that night. Seeing a mosh pit form at our first show was just amazing as well. And of course, the party after our set was a lot of fun when we were finally able to unwind and get rid of the anxiety of that first performance.” As a closing word, Single Barrel Six is here to stay and in a music scene filled with indie bands and hipsters with acoustic guitars, they’re a breath of fresh air in Long Beach. In the true DIY tradition, they have just finished recording their demo in their garage practice space and will return to Long Beach soon. You can catch Single Barrel Six at Dipiazzas again on February 3rd. Make sure to bring your headbanger wig!
Single Barrel Six are quick on the draw
Michael Wood Opinions Editor Dipiazzas, the name itself brings up some connotations for any long time Long Beach resident. Much of the time, the mere mention of the name brings up the image of decent pizza, a nice atmosphere and some teenager with an acoustic guitar on stage who could benefit from a little extra practice time. So when I walked in there one chilly January night, it surprised me that
3rd place: $20 Campus Bookstore gift card 2nd place: Custom lyrical or personal band poster by our Art Director, Gabe Ferreira 1st place: Premier package: One hour session with a producer to record your song, which we will air on Kbeach and our website. We will also record your live performance and post it on our website. I will also personally buy you a drink after your performance (if you are of age). So get your pens and instruments ready and get to writing.
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
ENTERTAINMENT
9
Post-Apocalyptic Film Reviews Like my favorite musician Eddie Vedder once said, “Hey, I, I, oh, I’m still alive.” Nathan Cruz Entertainment Editor
Holy Motors This film is a French-German film written and directed by Leos Carax and it is by no means easy to digest. Holy Motors uses quick changes in scenery by following a chameleon-like character, Oscar (Denis Lavant), into odd jobs that he completes throughout the course of one day. Some of his jobs include: ambushing a model’s photo-shoot, playing the father role for a young girl, masquerading as a hit man, and being a homeless beggar on the streets of Paris. It’s quite unclear what all these jobs
represent, but perhaps it serves as a metaphor for the human ability to adapt to an anxious world. The film has a lot to say and whips up a handful of social commentary of the current state of the world. The film is done so in beautiful avant-garde fashion that is visually appealing. The director pays homage to the yesteryear of film by implementing techniques invented by French New Wave directors in the 1960s. The eccentric cast also includes Eva Mendez, Edith Scob, and Kylie Minogue.
On the Road This narrative was obviously not the same as Jack Kerouac’s 1957 classic that inspired a new generation of young people post-World War II, who were caught up in the Truman Doctrine, social conservatism, and McCarthyism. The film, like the novel, explores themes of sexual liberation, the rise of youth culture, marginalized minority cultures in America, the rejection of authority and the vast openness of the American West. The beautiful cast includes Garrett Hedlund, Sam Riley, Kristen Stewart,
Tom Sturridge, and Kristen Dunst. Director Walter Salles’ brilliant film adaptation of the classic novel does an excellent job capturing the essence of the American open road in late 1940s/early 1950s America. This was a hopeful time in America; a place full of vast energy, full of possibility, and a place where young Americans could find work, earn a decent living, and find inspiration while following their wildest dreams. Much different from the America my generation knows today.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My FB The funniest and most accurate depictions of media consumption in the modern age
Vincent Chavez Editor-In-Chief Last year, we had a few media offerings that really nailed what it’s like to experience social media and digital entertainment in the modern age. These are the movies and TV shows that held up an iPhone camera with that turnaround mirror feature up to society and truly depicted life in the present. Without further ado, I present a short list of the top three most honest representations of our digital age.
Parks and Recreation Parks and Recreation has a strong track record of writing their characters with a passion for social media bordering on addiction, particularly Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford. But this season’s best example of digital addiction came from the “Sex Education” episode in which Tom receives a court ordered technological detox after he gets into a tweet and run car accident. His struggle involves him crafting an iPhone out of cardboard and sadly tapping the drawn-on buttons. Honorable mention goes to Donna Meagle’s live tweeting of Death Canoe 4, where she spins Twitter gold like this: “I mean, who goes swimming at this hour? Really? In the lake? It’s all dusty and dirty in there. #Midnightbackstroke #whitefolk.
This is 40 One of the most prominent themes Judd Apatow tackles in his latest film This is 40 is how to raise a family in the digital age. A large portion of the movie involves parents having to compete for their children’s attention against the multitude of screens. Smartphones, tablets, HD TVs, iPods, laptops, This is 40 has them all. The scenes that both tickled me and rang the truest were the ones where Paul Rudd would escape to the bathroom for a moment of peace, quiet, and a game of Words With Friends. Oh and his daughter’s devotion to Lost was by far my favorite gag in the whole movie; it perfectly encapsulated the rabid fandom that comes from having seasons of television at your fingertips.
Pitch Perfect Pitch Perfect may have been a by-thenumbers crowd pleaser, owed mostly to freakishly entertaining musical numbers and Rebel Wilson’s winningly toothsome grin, but mid-way through exists a scene pulled straight from the life of any college kid. The scene involved the film’s two romantic leads huddled around a laptop watching The Breakfast Club, the only light coming from the glow of a Macbook screen. Quiet, romantic, and undeniably modern, it was the one moment where I believed anything this movie was selling.
10
LITERATURE
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
Short Story Corner: 8:25 Lucy Baldwin Contributor
I Wish I Could Do Magic by Singing Actually, I just wish I could sing Wesley Verner Literature Editor “Clothahump studied Jon-Tom. ‘Now since we can’t send you home, lad, what are we going to do with you?’” Hello again loyal readers of the Union Weekly, and welcome back! Unless you are in your first semester, in which case you are clearly showing uncommonly good common sense by reading this paper. At long last we are together again in this wonderful school. But enough! On to literature! Over the break I had the pleasure of reading Spellsinger by Alan Dean Foster. It is essentially a more adult version of C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia, and I loved it. The main character, Jon-Tom, is simply sitting in his dorm at UCLA enjoying a reefer, when suddenly a bright flash
temporarily blinds him and he finds himself waking up in a strange land inhabited entirely by anthropomorphic animals. We follow Jon-Tom in his struggle to find his way in a very strange land. The plot technically needs much more space to adequately explain, so suffice it to say that it is worth checking out. There are some extremely humorous points, such as the time Jon-Tom convinces a communist dragon (yes, a literal dragon) that he and his companions are fellow Marxists, so that they may ride upon his back. I absolutely recommend this book. It is a fun journey through a world that is reminiscent yet wholly different from our own, and is a good way to start off the semester.
It’s 8:09. The Subway comes at what time? 8:10. And then not again until 8:25. Perfect. I’m going to be late to work again. Two days in a row and Jake is absolutely not going to be happy with me. I hear the blare of the train coming as I walk down the stairs to the station. No way I’m going to make this one. I curse that extra five minutes of sleep I gave myself this morning. 8:12 I swipe my creased old Metro card at the turnstile. Well, at least I’ll have a few minutes to finish my breakfast. I take my half-eaten cranberry muffin out of my bag and pick at it idly while I walk over to the farthest end of the platform. This way I’ll be closer to the exit once I get off at my stop and hopefully not be as late to work as I already am. 8:14? 8:15? There are just so many things to do today. Meeting with Professor Fortuna. Class presentation right after that. Study for that giant exam. Get to the bank for grocery money. Pick up the dry cleaning by five at the latest. Buy an anniversary gift for Sam. That grad school application essay that I’ve been putting aside for weeks. I’m running through the list in my head as I take in the view of people around me. A man with his small daughter,
who is tugging on his hand trying to get his attention. A girl who looks a little younger than me but definitely more frazzled. An older homeless man chattering enthusiastically to himself. I watch a rat scurrying along the tracks. It’s not so crowded this morning. 8:20 And then it gets loud. A young couple walks in and my God can they argue. This asshole is screaming at this poor woman. I look at the little girl with her father, and she’s covering her ears with her hands. I wish I could do the same. Of course they are walking near me; I just can’t catch a break this morning. Then I realize. I see the terror in the woman’s face. This couple is not a couple at all. I see him swipe at her as they reach me. I step in the way. It’s 8:23 as I lose track of time and feel a hard shove against my back. My hands are scraped and black with dirt. I breathe in an awful smell. There’s screaming and footsteps. What is happening? A rat scurries past me and into a crevice between the tracks. I look up and lock eyes with the homeless man. He isn’t making a sound. It’s 8:25 and I hear the train.
Union Weekly—22 January 2013
COMICS
Art by Rose Feduk Comics Editor Words by Marco Beltran Senior Editor I feel terribly misrepresented in the newspapers on this campus. Makin’ up stories an’ telling people I do stuff, but let me tell you that I know a thing or two about a thing or two. So instead of breaking into all your cars, I thought I’d tell you my life story. I was raised by rats. My mother and father—born rats, much to their chagrin due to their short stubby arms and lack of dentists—were never home. They worked day and night to bring food home so that
I was born in a puddle during a meteor shower in a park not far from here...
...and its name was Ratilda. But I was not like them. I was not a rat and as much as I tried to do ratty things and play ratty games I was still…“Pink Rat.”
Despite the swirlies, the beatings, and accidentally sitting on my father causing my brothers and sisters to hate me, I found love...
MY DAUGHTER DOESN’T DATE LOSERS!
EASY 3 7 1 2 5 9 4 8 6
2 6 9 8 1 4 7 5 3
8 3 7 1 9 6 2 4 5
9 4 5 3 8 2 6 1 7
6 1 2 7 4 5 8 3 9
1 2 6 5 3 8 9 7 4
4 5 8 9 6 7 3 2 1
7 9 3 4 2 1 5 6 8
HARD 1 5 8 4 6 3 7 9 2 2 6 7 5 9 8 1 4 3 6 5 8 9 4 7 3
4 1 7 8 2 3 9
2 3 9 1 6 5 4
9 7 3 6 1 8 2
1 8 2 3 5 4 7
5 4 6 7 9 2 1
3 2 4 5 8 9 6
7 6 5 2 3 1 8
8 9 1 4 7 6 5
HARD
5 8 4 6 7 3 1 9 2
EASY
11
Volume 72 Issue 1
LBUNION.COM
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
DISCLAIMER: This page is satire. Send help. As you probably didn’t read below, I’m I wish it were a boy so I could get my smack on with some red meat. It’s red cause my mouth is like that shark thing from James and the Giant Peach. I do not represent ASI nor the at grunion@lbunion.com
GUN DEBATE SPARKS SHARP DISSENT, DEATH The streets were clogged with pro-gun demonstrations as people marched gun in hand last Saturday in recognition of National Gun
GAME OVER BY THE DUCHESS
Last week I attended a screening of the video game movie Ricky Ralph and was left awestruck by how they were able to take pixels, coins, rings, blocks, mushrooms, and power-ups, and turn them into an amazing movie. It’s the
but I think it’s the best movie this year. Better than Dingo? Better than Loopty? Better than Linkon? Yes, yes, yes! This is that type of movie, you know? The one that makes you go down to your servants home and take back all the old video game systems that you’ve given them over the years. It brought back so much nostalgia for me; all those years I spent toiling away, the clicking of the buttons keeping my husband up—my joyful
joy came with a heavy cost. Yesterday, while playing a rip-roaring round of Donkey Kong Country on my Game Boy and walking around my mansion, I accidentally poured soda on one of my house gypsies. A curseable offense! As much as I tried to apologize, she would not accept it. After saying a bunch of mumbo jumbo and giving me a piece of paper, she sent me off. I didn’t believe all that curse stuff at the Game Boy a la Freaky Friday! Now, I’ve been cursed to live inside my Game Boy until I resolve my differences with Jamie Lee Curtis. Fat chance cause she’s a fucking yogurt hog. Hoochie Coochie, Your Duchess
by Snaggletooth Geena Appreciation Day. “I reckon I can carry this here gun anywheres I please! It’s in my constitution,” said Arnie Clint, a chicken farmer from Lancaster. Clint demonstrated his right to bear arms alongside hundreds of likeminded individuals in the protest, which was shut down nearly 20 minutes after it was started by a no-nonsense SWAT
In the mean time, the SWAT Team since the mandate that law enforcement personnel are not themselves above the law, thus preventing the team from carrying any weapons capable of actually causing any sort of harm. Since the criminals are now the only ones allowed to carry guns, there is an entirely new problem at hand. “It is nearly impossible,” Firearm just don’t stand a chance against those lawbreakers. We just don’t.” After the short-lived pathetic excuse for a protest, everyone just kind of went away. “We were surprised at how
toll is still unknown. It was a disorganized, pathetic excuse for a stand off. The gun rights activists knew how to carry their guns to look pretty, but as soon as they had to pick up the gun and shoot, it may as well have been a bubble blower. SWAT
the mob was dispersed.” As with most gun control debates, this protest was nothing more than a group of hot-heads who didn’t even get any sort of point across. When a movement is as disorganized as this, it is easy to see why there is no forward
the crowd of overall-wearing, toothmissing, baby-carrying gun rights activists. Yes, this was a moment in which the stereotype associated with gun owners was validated.
will blow over and America can and other more personal methods of killing. Until then, the gun control debate continues.
Inside
HUGO CHAVEZ MOURNS THE DEATH OF WINTER BREAK
MIDLER AND CENT GEAR UP FOR HOCUS POCUS 2: I GOT DA MAGIC STICK