UNION WEEKLY’S THIRD ANNUAL SONG WRITING CONTEST In lieu of Valentine’s Day, we are holding a love song writing contest. No gimmicks, just pure from the heart musicality. So put your heart on your sleeve and your guitar on your knee, and sing a little song for some cold hard ca$h money* CONTEST RULES: You must write and perform you own love song. Accompaniment is up to you, but you are responsible for providing it. Bands are welcome. Songs must be lyrics must accompany each submission. Submissions can either be in video format or as an mp3.
WAYS TO SUBMIT: Drop off a USB at the Union can send an mp3 link by email to info@lbunion.com, or post a YouTube video or SoundCloud clip on the Union Weekly’s Facebook page.
*prizes to be announced CONTESTANTS WILL PERFORM AT OUR LOVELY JAMS CONCERT AT THE NUGGET ON FEBRUARY 12TH 6-8PM
DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS You must submit your song by Saturday, February 7th at noon
Intro
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Issue 76.3
Molly Shannon, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Managing Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com Trevor Desrosiers, Advertisting Executive advertising@lbunion.com Eduardo Vargas, Distribution Manager distribution@lbunion.com ART & DESIGN John Calhoun, Illustration Editor johnc.union@gmail.com Michael Tewasart, Assistant to Art Director tewasartm@live.com Truc Nguyen, Web Manager web@lbunion.com EDITORIAL Jacky Linares, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Veronica Craft, Community Editor community@lbunion.com
By Molly Shannon
Illustration by Rose Feduk
Sometimes, people email me interesting things. Examples of some of the more recent “gifts” I’ve collected have included: a French Vogue Daily 49er King, Jr. While all these are quite amusing to
it’s a nice one). Here’s one of the latest: Hello Molly, I am a fellow student at CSULB. I was impressed with your story on thrift stores recently. I happen to shop in them all the time. I thought it was very funny and amusing. I actually wanted to thank you personally monday but the was closed. I wish students would take the time to read a fucking paper nowadays rather than being on their phones 24/7. These are sad times we live in. *Sigh* Oh well. I look forward to your future publications. Keep up the good work.
while) allows us to focus on more important things, like our relationships with others, happens to tie in with this week’s issue! Yahoo! now
And that’s the damn truth, Ruth.
Veronica attempted social media accounts on pause, something
Joel Martinez, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com
Sincerely,
Renee Schmiedeberg, Arts Editor arts@lbunion.com
Eduardo Lara
Katie Cortez, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Sam Winchester, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Zach Phelps, Lifestyle Editor lifestyle@lbunion.com Elizabeth Nguyen, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Travel Editor alfredp.union@gmail.com Beatriz Villa, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Gumby, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com
COPY & ASSISTANT EDITORS Elliott Gatica, Eric Reid Hamilton, Kaila-Marie Hardaway ADVERTISING INTERNS Jacqueline Simon, Joel Kuehn STAFFERS & CONTRIBUTORS Karrie Comfort, Bailey Mount, Laura Marie Hennings, Mariha Lowe, Sarah Towler, Alex Eastly, Sierra Patheal, Jay Jenkins, Georgie Canaree, Abdallah Seoud, Miguel-Angel Garcia, Alex Ramos, Christopher Orozco
CONTACT US Long Beach, CA 90815 E-mail: info@lbunion.com
Follow us @UnionWeekly
Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims
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Opinions
Graphic by Abdallah Seoud
Pompous posers
Shoe blues
By Alfred Pallarca
By Sam Winchester
I really dislike those people who label themselves as a hipster, unicorn, feminist, etcetera. However, when it comes to walking the walk, they fail to prove themselves. Don’t call yourself a free spirit, go to a friend’s party, then leave 30 minutes later because the crowd is “not your crowd!” You’re just a poser
I’ve found myself wondering why some people have so many shoes. I mean, I understand it when it comes to having a wide variety to mix and match, but when guys have closet worth of shoes (but let me be clear, they’re all Jordans and/or some other typical fuckboy type of shoes) it is really disturbing. I don’t care how
you think that’s the meaning of being a free spirit. Stop!
save for something more useful?
Go for the slice or go home
Please, STFU
By Renee Schmiedeberg It is okay to want bread. It is okay to be hungry. It is not okay to stick your hand slice, leaving the rest of the slice there for someone to wonder where the fuck it has been. Do not do this! If you want a slice of bread, take a whole goddamned slice of bread.
Do the right thing—and turn right! By Katie Cortez I hate when people do not turn right on sitting there when there’s no one in front of you and there’s no one coming from the other direction? Get your head out of your ass and turn right.
By Elizabeth Nguyen My chemistry class seems to be full of school phase yet. Maturity comes with time, but don’t start talking when the teacher’s assistant stops. It’s rude and awkward to deal with. You all make time go by slower.
Gives you Hell By Georgia Canareé I do not appreciate the Freedom of Speech section of campus being constantly used by people who don’t even go here. They tend to bring a conservative and religious agenda. Funny enough, I’ve had even professors say in classes that they advise us to not retort back when they’re preaching. It’s fucking annoying to have to walk through a bunch of signs saying “JESUS OR HELL, YOUR CHOICE.” Yeah, it is my choice motherfuckers; I fully expect to be Queen of Hell once I retire from this bodily prison.
Opinions
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Protect the Children! (And the Rest of Us, Too) It’d be really cool if people stopped encouraging a plague By Katie Cortez Illustration by Jay Jenkins While reading the Los Angeles Times earlier this week, I came across an article about the Orange County School District barring unvaccinated children from going to school due to the recent measles outbreak. As some of you may know, there have been over 55 reported cases of the measles in Southern California throughout the past few weeks—and according to Lisa Aliferis at NPR, it has spread as far as Utah, Oregon, Washington, Colorado, and Mexico. The Times article stated several facts as to why this is a good idea—and I agree. However, the one thing that really irked me about the article was a statement made by a mother who had previously refused to vaccinate her two-and-a-half-year-old child because she had read a book that told her to distrust medical
professionals. But now because of the outbreak, she’s made the “tough decision” to get her child vaccinated. I’m sorry that deciding to save your child from possible death-by-disease is such a
Haelle wrote in a Forbes article titled “Five Things to Know About the Disneyland Measles Outbreak” on Jan. 20. Let me repeat this for people who may not
many who is making it more and more apparent that humans need to take an intelligence test before birthing a child. I’m sorry, Stephanie from Newport Beach, but you don’t sound like the sharpest tool in the shed.
you and your child can be measles-free. Ninety nine percent sounds like a pretty damn sweet
35 times less likely to catch the virus. Okay, I’ll isn’t the most promising statistic out there. However, “The second dose of the vaccine
chance that I could win the lotto, I’d play every Target sale, I know that each and every person reading this would be there in a heartbeat. Ninety nine percent is the best damn statistic anyone could hope for from a vaccine that’s rumored to be linked with autism by people
there is little to no basis on fact. If I believed every rumor I read or heard, I’d believe that Joseph Gordon Levitt was really at the Rec Center last semester. And that Elvis is alive and kicking—rolling around Graceland in one of those motor-powered wheelchairs. it because you believe that doctors are wrong about medicine? What I want to know is where these people are getting their information from. A voodoo woman? A witch doctor? A bruja? Dr. Phil? Oh, that’s right—your friendly neighborhood physician went to clownmedical school. I forgot. My bad.
Remember people, it’s a rumor—meaning
Can’t Beat That Meat A plant-powered diet is completely impractical By Alex Eastly
Veganism, vegetarianism, and all their permutations are incredibly appealing on a our national pastime of eating is notorious for cruel treatment of animals. We like to think of ourselves as above the base carnivorous positive change in the world. I am completely on board with these sentiments, but the fact of the matter is, going vegan is not the answer. It isn’t going to topple the industry. Agribusiness does not even feel the how ever well intentioned they may be. It
by the fact that most of our holidays exist as excuses to eat various fried, grilled, and
smoked meats. If you want to eat cruelty-free, pay a bit more, and get some grass-fed cow and cagefree chicken. Hold out for that test-tube sausage they’re working on. Come up with a miracle cure for pessimism—God knows I need it. Just don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re changing the world with that tofu dog. Believe me, if going vegan would do it in a heartbeat. The sad truth, however, is that animals are tasty. They are so good (how good are they?), they make your forget that what you are currently chewing used to be a live, squealing animal in an admittedly alltoo-small pen.
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Community
Your Voice Matters Speak your mind at the 20th annual CHESS Conference By Bronson Farr
Student fee increases? Not enough teachers for courses? More budget cuts for California schools? If only there were a way to reach out to politicians in Sacramento, so that students’ voices could be heard! Oh wait... there is! The 20th annual California Higher Education Student Summit (CHESS) will be happening on Saturday, Feb. 28, at the State Capitol in Sacramento. CHESS is an annual event put on by the California State Student Association, where students from all 23 California State University campuses gather to learn about issues affecting students, as well as advocate on behalf of their respective campus communities. During the two-day conference students participate in various workshops that focus on student leadership and governance, higher education and public policy, and conducting successful lobbying visits for Advocacy Day. Elizabeth Zambrano, will be heading to Sacramento along with other CSULB
the event in the student union. from the 23 CSUs advocate for the 430,000 students enrolled is very inspiring,” Zambrano says. “You see these students, many of them with little to no student leadership experience, practicing with each other in the hotel lobby, trying to remember all the facts they learned about the state of the CSU.” Using the theme of “Educate. Advocate. Empower,” summit organizers aim to educate students about higher education their newfound knowledge about those policies to advocate on behalf of all the entire CSU system, and empower students opportunities at their home campuses. Some of the topics that will be brought up at this year’s summit are Governor Brown’s budget allocated for the CSUs, and the achievement and graduation gap throughout all CSU schools. While all of the issues discussed at
Students gathered at CHESS during last year’s conference things on campus such as hiring new faculty there are two in particular that Long Beach will be focusing on this year: The CSU Board of Trustees and Student Excellence fees (this is also known as Student Success fees on other campuses). With the Board of Trustees, there is focus on how there is not enough student representation. As of now there are only two students who represent all campuses, one of which is not allowed to vote on board decisions for a year. In terms of the Student Excellence fees, students at CSULB are currently paying $173 per semester, according to Zambrano.
improvements. This was usually covered by student tuition in the past, but with the passage of Proposition 30, a ballot measure
that temporarily increase taxes in California to fund education, CSU campuses have been using these fees to cover these costs. Students will be able to give their input about fee increases at CHESS and learn
more about them. “Politicians won’t know what students
quality system of public higher education, then it’s going to require all of us [students] to do it,” Zambrano stated. Students can apply for CHESS through BeachSync on the ASI website. Zambrano encourages students to contact her if they have any questions about the application itself or student advocacy in general. Her email is elizabeth.zambrano@student.csulb.edu.
Community
You’re (Week of) Welcome Find your niche and get involved, why don’t ya? By Veronica Craft
This past Wednesday and Thursday, ASI hosted another successful Week of
And majority of CSULB’s over 300 student clubs and organizations came out to set up Every semester, Week of Welcome gives CSULB clubs and organizations the opportunity to come out and promote their club, and CSULB students are given the opportunity to learn about how to get more If you missed out on this semester’s Week of Welcome, don’t fret, there is one then, here is a little information on some of the clubs and organizations that were out
Photos by Cesar Nadales-Hernandez
Different fraternities and sororities show off their organizations in hopes of recruiting more members (left); Members of Alpha Phi Omega cleverly use Instagram to attract prospective pledges (right); College Beat informs students the possibilities awaiting them by joining their crew (bottom right)
Underground Music Society A brand new CSULB organization whose goal is to bring “lowcost live music events featuring local artists and musicians on campus
you should stop by their weekly meeting, held Model United Nations A club in which students act as representatives for pre-assigned countries
students with the chance to hone their public speaking skills, learn more about the political beliefs of other nations, and provides many travel opportunities such as, New York, more about Model United Nations , email their meetings in SPA-209 on Tuesdays from
CSULB Breakers An on-campus break dancing club that promotes and celebrates the creative and If you want to develop your dancing skills or learn more about break dancing and its culture, stop by one of their meetings held on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in PE-93 from 7:00-9:45 pm, or contact them through
Students for Sustainable Health A CSULB organization that promotes and teaches others about sustainable food, while also encouraging people to activities Students for Sustainable Health partake in are, volunteer at a local farm or second Thursday of every month in USU 304
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Athletics
In the wake of the most recent New England cheating accusation, one must step back and look at the incident from afar. Not from a third person point-of-view, but further away, astronaut overlooking the Earth. There will be more on this in a bit. First, let me clarify that I am not writing to talk on how Patriot’s running back LeGarrete Blount could have ran with a yoga ball and still plodded through the Colts’ defense. I am not writing to protest the Patriots’ road to the Super Bowl. I am not writing to recycle what all other news outlets are saying, to go over any hypotheticals, or to prove to you how bad American schools are when it comes to teaching punctuation. I am writing to let
you know about the tragedy that this latest NFL franchise scandal will produce. Back to our “afar.” When the news broke that 11 of the 12 balls used by New England in the AFC
to “Spygate,” and say the Patriots were intentionally cheating…again [Editor’s note: Spygate refers to the 2007 New England Patriots videotaping controversy, in which the Patriots videotaped the New York Jets’ defensive coaches’ signals, in violation of league rules]. Media over-exposure, statements from back-up quarterbacks, and responses from a bitter former General Manager later caused everyone to divert their attention away from
perhaps the best Super Bowl to come in years and focus on something that is really the NFL’s fault and what science proves has Our attention is away from that fact that after two failed attempts to win a Super Bowl postSpygate, this was the Patriots best shot to hoist another Lombardi Trophy and cement a legacy of having one of the greatest Head Coach-Quarterback combinations of this of allegations and botched news conferences, for our foreign exchange-students) are left with the permanent sentiment that the Bill Belichick-led Patriots are nothing but an organization that could not win it all without breaking the rules. When we are to think back to Tom Brady and Belichick in years to come, we are going to remember the ugly. We will ignore the fact that Brady has more
forget that Belichick is one of the greatest defensive minds in our recorded history or that his game transcends more than football not catch that…sorry Cowboy fans) or that he could have probably coached the 2008
beauty that this New England franchise is, the media leaves us to believe that the artwork is faux. We cannot appreciate New England for better reasons, like how Tom Brady will always go home to his wife Giselle or that Belicheck has the balls to do what it takes to win like putting Julian Edelman to cover Anquan Boldin in a championship game. When we see the beautiful legacy of the current embodiment of the Patriots we get a feeling that the Pats are wannabes.
There’s No LeBron James’ success is not individual
Michael Jordan. Kobe Bryant. Lebron James. These are some of the most prominent basketball players of the past 20 years. Their skill and drive made them forces to be reckoned with on the court. Though, at the end of the day, each of these men are just players that are part of a team—and Lebron James doesn’t seem to get this. For those of you that don’t know, Lebron left the Miami Heat at the end of last season to play with the Cleveland Cavaliers. The media portrayed this as heartfelt and emotional decision for Lebron to play for the were hints and clues that all was not well
Follow us
games at the NBA Finals), some wondered “Why couldn’t Lebron prove his ability by helping lead a struggling team?”
If you ask me, one of the biggest reasons as to why Lebron’s move was controversial is the Cavaliers’ lineup. He will be joining Kyrie Irving, one of the best point guards in the league, and Kevin Love, who was putting up fantastic numbers on the Minnesota Timberwolves. The initial expectation was that the Cleveland Cavaliers were going to dominate this season, but Lebron & Co. have struggled to work together. Meanwhile, teams like the Memphis Grizzlies and the Atlanta Hawks who lack superstars are among the top four for their respective conferences thanks to great coaching and teamwork. This just goes to show that having the best players means nothing if they can’t work together, and LeBron fans need to recognize it’s teamwork that has led him to success, not his poser claims of single-handedly bringing a team up.
FEATURE
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T r e k i n tAltered o Darkness
Indulgences
Bone-chilling accounts of how we lost our way
Intro by Renee Schmiedeberg
Ceasing old habits can open your mind Intro by Katie Cortez Illustrations by John Calhoun
Everyone has at least one vice—something they are compelled to enage in by force of habit. Sometimes, we do not even realize how repetitive things are until someone else points them out to us. Whether it be pouring yourself into video games, chocolate, shoes, dropping f-bombs, sex, drinking—we all have slightly addictive personalities. Instead of seeing distractions like Buzzfeed and television as vices, students prefer to see them as quirky indulgences in an effort to make them seem like a nonissue. We take things like technology and the snooze button for granted and do not realize how much we actually depend on those things. For instance, Jacky, the Union’s Opinions Editor, is rarely seen without the only way she can get through work and school and all of the homework that comes along with it. It is widely known that Renee, the Arts Editor, is addicted to bagels. It does not matter if they are blueberry, plain, or poppy seed—Renee is all about that bagel life. Every once in a while, I will buy cranberry-orange bagels from the Orange County swap meet and Snapchat photos of them to Renee because her responses are priceless. Our Music Editor, Sam, can always be trusted to have a cigarette on hand. Every outside smoking a cig. Almost every Monday through Thursday, you can Real Housewives of [any given city] or talking about Real Housewives. If anyone ever has a question about reality television, he will know the answer. I have a terrible habit of documenting almost every sarcastic thought in my head I post tons of random photos with semi-witty hashtags on my Instagram, and bombard people with silly Snapchats. These are not necessarily things we need or desire, but we caffeinate, eat, watch, smoke, and post status updates because it is something we are compelled to do. We make unnecessary habits out of stupid things that are not really important to our way of life. That is why this week, some of us decided to go one week without those things. Jacky stopped drinking coffee, Renee quit eating gluten, Alfred turned off the TV, Sam did not light up, and I cut myself off from the black hole of procrastination— social media. It was a weird week for all of us, but it definitely inspired us think about the things we have come to think of as “essential.”
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FEATURE
COFFEE CRISIS by Jacky Linares GIVING UP GLUTEN by Renee Schmiedeberg
SMOKE STOP by Sam Winchester
FEATURE
SOCIAL MEDIA SCARCITY by Katie Cortez In 2003, Myspace was created and my reliance on social media was born. I recall logging onto the school computers to write vague answers on those “About Me” questionnaires—completely defeating the purpose of telling people “About Me”—on the website’s bulletin board. In 2006 when Mark Zuckerberg and Co. opened up Facebook to non-college students, I swore that I wasn’t going to get one. I was happy with the customizable Myspace and did not see the point of jumping onto another social media bandwagon. Then, people left Myspace for Facebook and I gave in. Here I am, nine years later, addicted to Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I don’t know what makes me want to tell people that I want Ariana Grande to shut up or that “The guy sitting next to me is on his second bag of the shareable-sized Welch’s fruit snacks. We’ve been in class for seven minutes.” I even announced my upcoming week without social media via an Instagram photo. But with all that aside, I was surprised I deleted all apps on my phone that connected me to the virtual world and found myself taking my phone out of my pocket less and less everyday. In the few hours that I have been back online, I have checked my newsfeed twice. With that being said, throughout the week I did notice that I still took random photos, but, instead of posting them online, I just texted them to those few friends who would get the joke sans-hashtag. I don’t know if that means I cheated, but it lessened the part of me that desired to put things on the web. If anything, I like to think that my week without social media was an eye-opener. I realized how much importance I’ve placed on telling my “friends” that I “Finally saw Gone Girl. I mean, I guess you can call the character of Amy Dunne a ‘badass.’ Because delusional sociopaths and sexual sadists are cool, right?” and how much time I actually spend on my phone when I should be doing homework or taking notes in class.
I wish everything I had said in the second paragraph was true, but the truth is, the minute I arrived home I felt even more anxious and eager to watch TV than normal. I tried for a hot minute not to watch anything, and then I wondered, “Will anyone really patrol my actions and punish me if I watch TV?” The answer is obviously, NO! I gladly grabbed the remote and turned on the TV and watched my shows happily, not giving a damn about this challenge. The following days, I felt bad that my peers were actually doing the challenge and were struggling. I decided that I would lie to them and write some story writing what actually happened. Sorry guys! I learned that I am the kind of person that when told not to do something, I get a thrill and an urge to actually do that thing. I also realized, why give up anything in life that is not damaging to your well-being? Sure, I know a little too much about these damn housewives, but who cares? I am still a productive young person and watching these shows takes away my stress every now and then, which is good. So, to be honest, my body, my choice, and I will watch whatever I want. CONCLUSION I probably should’ve read everyone else’s blurbs before I wrote my I’m happy to know that some of us have learned from this week, living without our vices. I hope that this experience sticks with me and I continue to use social media less and less. I suggest that everyone enlightening experience. Also, Alfred, you’re an asshole. But you are right—it is your body, your choice!
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TUNING OUT OF TV by Alfred Pallarca My obsession with the Real Housewives franchise and a few other reality TV programs featuring the women from the various Real Housewives franchise has led my peers to challenge me to stop watching television for a week. Although, giving up watching TV for a week seems not the case. With my obsession of keeping up with the latest shade throwing amongst these vibrant middle-aged women, I have learned to strategically plan my day to assure that I will get my weekly dosage home, so by the time that I will actually be home, I just need to turn on
on the TV, but I tried my best not to. My parents were watching their show in the living room so I locked myself in my room to abstain from hearing even a sound coming from that picture box. I soon realized it was a mistake, locking myself up in the room considering I also have a nice TV set sitting across my bed. However, I was still able to control myself and withdraw from turning on that machine. I ended mind was completely calm from reading and being away from the heart-pumping drama the Housewives give me. The next day was easier as I had completely convinced myself that not watching TV for a week is an easy task. I ended up running more than usual instead of tuningin to my shows. I read more, got ahead with my homework, and slept early again. As the week progressed, I became at peace with my routine of not watching television, as it actually helped me be more productive. I learned that, although, living for a week without something that you lived without it, you realize how productive you could be.
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Music
Worth the Wait
Concerts and shows are two completely
We Are Scientists make delightful comeback to SoCal By Katie Cortez
Bass guitarist Chris Cain strums away (top); Lead singer Keith Murray emotionally connects with the audience while singing “Slow Down” (middle); Cain and drummer Andy Burrows rock the stage to “After Hours” (bottom)
Entertainment
Democracy’s Overrated House of Cards By Sam Winchester If you ever happen to skim through my
Political Animals to Scandal House of Cards
House of Cards
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Arts
Collage of Controversy
By Christopher Orozco
Pasting his own approach to modern art
Photos by Renee Schmiedeberg
I became an art-aholic when I was 20 years old. How did this happen? I had an empty frame and everyone would comment on it saying, “I like how artistic and simple it is,” or the occasional “I see modern art work is getting out of hand, but I understand it.” No one fucking understands modern art besides those who fool themselves to believe that it is art and those who know bullshit when they see it. This is my opinion and I will admit that I am ignorant in art. I am not saying that classic artworks are masterpieces either. There are a couple of well-known artists that made aesthetic, one-of-a-kind pieces while the rest of their work is utter bull dung. Back to the subject of the empty frame; one day, I snapped. My roommate commented again on how it was always empty and I lost it. I harnessed my frustration and drove it into a passion. I wanted to create a collage that would be a “fuck you” to all those who hated on my empty frame. None of that online-pay-for-someone-to-do-mya value on my original content. My mind machine-gunned through ideas until I picked up the scissors and the tape and the magazines. I gathered my collection of Time Magazines (over a hundred since four-year subscription at only 60 dollars). Instead of being a super info-maniac and calling out theories, I decided to use the modern, beautiful pictures and art from the Time Magazines and make collages out of them. Let me tell you a secret: Time Magazine has the hippest underground minimalistic fonts to pictures of groundbreaking events to models, Time Magazine is the shiz-niz in the business of snip-niz.
Over the course of winter break, I created the other is currently being worked on. One of those hecklers while the other is a big project for me that is still being produced. I’ve had to postpone it. Why? School, court, medical bills, and life happen. Why not slowly add pieces to it and work on it ever so often? I like to
hours of undivided attention. This is for full satisfaction of myself and to impress others. Let me tell you this: I am egotistically 2014 and things that led up to it. It is also my baby and I have unconditional love for it. Up yours, critics! Up yours, modern-interpreters! Up yours, LACMA, who funded a rock?! What the hell was that about it? That’s like buying a giant ass pet rock from the 1970s and thinking that it holds a special meaning! It’s a goddamn rock. Why not pay someone with Michelangelo’s sculpting skills and turn the rock into God’s hand or a beautiful sculpted judgment on beauty or something more wellthought-of than a natural rock? Here’s my and ego. (Seriously, LACMA, I am ashamed.)
New collage artist Christopher Orozco displays his original art (top left); a close-up of the collage reveals its controversy and ability to prompt a reaction from its viewer (top middle); in a show of self-expression, Orozco unapologetically presents his collage to all of CSULB (top right); artist Orozco lavishes in the sun as he balances his piece on his belly (bottom right)
Literature
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“...the hidden gem amidst the crap of the romance novel world.”
Middle Age Romance By Bailey Mount Set in a castle high in the hills of medieval Scotland, a disabled knight and a woman who grew up too fast were forced into an arranged marriage. Both soon realized that perhaps love is not as far off as they first thought. Lynn Kurland’s This Is All I Ask is the hidden gem amidst the crap of the romance novel world. There is no halfnaked man on the cover. The erotic scenes are more sensual than sexual in nature. With ease, Kurland delivers what most writers fail to do in this genre: a genuine story of love. The novel follows the lives of knight Christopher of Blackmour and his new
wife, Gillian of Warewick. They are bound in matrimony by a promise Christopher made to her brother. In the event of his death, he would take Gillian away from her abusive father. Due to her pitiful dowry and despite her absolute terror of him, Gillian is given no choice but to wed her ill-reputed groom. She soon realizes—mild but inconsequential spoiler—that her husband is blind. In fact, his first wife left him after he lost his sight and as a result, he has closed off his heart. Hers is suspicious of any attempted kindness from the brutal abuse of her father.
Their struggle to coexist unfolds into a slow romance that only grows stronger. From gentle love to passionate scenes of lovemaking, Gillian and Christopher develop the coveted relationship that a majority of romance novels lack in their plots. It is both beautiful and sad but not theatrical in its drama or disturbing in its eroticism. A slew of secondary characters also make the story more believable. There is Christopher’s best friend, Robin, who is is. Young squire Jason pushes the romance along with his clever words. Finally, the three witches Berengaria, Nemian, and
Magda provide comic relief and prove that all love needs sometimes is just a little push. This Is All I Ask is an unmined treasure in the literary world. The characters are so believable and fragile in their humanity that you feel their struggles implicitly. The Middle Ages scenery imbues the novel with richness and a tinge of magic. This book is perfect for the romantic month of February. And the best part? It is bargain-priced but the story is far from cheap. Read it and feel warm and fuzzy just in time for Valentine’s Day!
Poetry Corner Free
Bittersweet
Sound of the Sea
By Karrie Comfort
By Elliott Gatica
By Karrie Comfort
O love thou art but a fleeting flitter That flits and darts as a butterfly does A sting of cupid hit her
Her smile conquers the darkness that writhes in my heart My heart, once tainted with darkness, can finally reach a point of solace.
Salty fish scent Alone, but with the sight Of the sparkling blue sea Harmony, creating a melody flowing Always echo, the sound of the sea
O sorrow thou art but a failing heart That dully aches and throbs mournfully slow That continues until death lets thempart O hatred thou art as black as coal As real as an old story remembered And deep as the void that spans Hade’s hole O fate thou art as strong as love’s great sea That pulled Romeo and Juliet down Under out of the hatred and set them free
This feeling of solace, however, is only ephemeral As her heart’s desires reside in a region Far, far away. All I can do is scream into the nothingness In agony, which was once a sudden flash of jubilance My screams fall silent as the light of day begins to shine For all I can do is pretend I’m fine.
Around the fire Silent, siting on wicker chairs Or wooden stools or leaning on the heart Beating, next to you breathing Again traces, the sound of the sea Tales are exchanges Glowing, the faces and eyes Of all who read Understanding, perceiving need Ever captured in the sound of the sea More memories Forever to be kept Joyful times and smiles Surrounded all the while Resonates laughter, the sound of the sea
Illustration by Sierra Patheal
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Lifestyle
Because of My Dad How a father impacted a woman’s outlook on life By Julia Goldman
When I was a young girl, my dad was my favorite person in the entire world. His warm, funny, loving presence made me feel as if everything was good and safe in the world. He would bring home stray dogs, much to the displeasure of my mom. He also loved to surprise my siblings and me with comic books and candy. He was generous with his money and hugs and gave freely of his time. As a dad, he could do no wrong. However, as a husband and as a man,
is no one I’d rather spend time with or who makes me light up like they do. Because of him, I fully appreciate and love my own sense of humor (sometimes more than those around me do). I know how important it is to be able to laugh at yourself and your life and keep things in perspective. I know how fun and healing a true belly laugh can be. Because of seeing how hard he worked,
and although I was unaware of it as a child, he cheated on my mom on more than one occasion. He worked hard, but never found his true passion. He was a child of the Great Depression and a WWII Veteran, and with the help of the GI bill, he became
didn’t happen immediately, but by my mid 20s I decided to become a therapist, and I can honestly say 30 years later that it was the perfect choice for me. Because it was his value to provide comfortably for his family and send his children to college so we could have our own professions (“not just a job”), I have also made it my value and my children are
go to college in his family. He became a Podiatrist, following his father’s advice as someone who owned a shoe store and saw foot doctors as the ultimate profession. My father was proud that he could support his family
“Because of him, I have been able to express the love I have for my children generously, with lots of hugs, kisses, and warmth.”
as he could, but he never seemed happy or content with his work. He struggled with chronic depression but never got help for it. He ended up divorced and in the end alone, because he I loved my dad without reservations until I entered my turbulent late teens. I spent my early twenties trying to help him, much to his annoyance. I spent another decade or so tolerating and trying to be grateful for him. However, I have spent the last 13 years since his passing missing him more than anything. I wish I could have a little time so I could let him know that the little girl in me still loves and adores him and that the woman in me has taken everything he taught me and made a very rich life with it. Because of him, I am able to have a solid, expectations. I know the damage done by betraying your spouse, even once. I also know just how painful divorce can be for an entire family, and just how long that pain can linger. Because of him, I have been able to express the love I have for my children generously, with lots of hugs, kisses, and warmth. There
from that (my son and daughter are both at Long Beach State and Cal Poly SLO, respectively). Because of my dad, I have always
nothing more heartwarming than coming home to the eager and excited energy of a tailwagging dog, who wants nothing more from you than to see that you made it home. Because of my dad, I knew that alcoholism could be in my genes. Although I went through my wild times in college and still enjoy a glass of wine, I am cognizant of the power drinking could have to destroy one’s dreams and relationships and keep myself in check. Because of the pain I experienced in seeing him decline emotionally in the last few decades of his life, I also know that there depression. I know that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but rather a belief that you are worth the care and time it takes to live a better or happier life. Because of losing him without warning, I try to be more aware of the fragility of life and our relationships. I am more loving, patient, and appreciative of those around me and try not to hold back loving, kind words and gestures.
Lifestyle
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The Couch Lifestyle Living on the edge of your sofa seat Growing up, I never had a room to myself. I always shared a room with another human away from them. Even now, after 20 years, I still do not own a private room. To this day, when I hear stories of people being grounded, bored or isolated in their room, it remains a foreign concept to me—a private room that enables the freedom to do anything you want in your own privacy. As for me, I sat and slept most of my life on a couch. A fucking couch lifestyle for 11 years or more. What is the couch lifestyle? You sit on a couch. You sleep on a couch. You sit on a
couch and proceed to lay on a couch, then, proceed to unconsciously fall asleep in the comfort of the couch. You wake up on a couch. You transition from your sleeping The couch lifestyle has no privacy. Even worse, you are to be blamed if the couch begins to become unhygienic, regardless of whether you have been sleeping or sitting there. You share the couch with hundreds of others asses, most of whom are unaware of the fact that they are contaminating your resting place. Yet, every time, it is you who must take the blame.
By Anonymous I desire my own bed. Not a futon, not a couch, not a bunker, but a motherfucking bed with some monthly clean-ass sheets with some godly, perfect-sized quilt that matches the size of what you are sleeping on. I still desire a couch; one that is mainly for sitting. A couch intended for its initial purpose. Why not just buy a bed? It would be pointless to buy a bed if there is no privacy. You can argue against me on many factors, but seriously reconsider the truth on this. Would you prefer a six by six feet giantsized bed in the middle of a living room or a small six feet by three feet couch? If you are
single and alone and own an apartment or the whoop-dee-doo of a fucking lifestyle that you want. If you are single and live with others and share an apartment or house due the disadvantages of having a bed or futon or couch as a place of rest for a major portion of your life. Guess what? There are high chances that you will be spending two-thirds of your unconscious hours on it.
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Travel
Traveling On Good Winds Preparing for a semester studying in Buenos Aires By Laura Marie Hennings Illustration by Mariha Lowe
We are brave, bold, and curious college students. This is our time to explore and embark on all sorts of crazy adventures and indulge in our youthful and enthusiastic pursuits. I have had the pleasure of backpacking Southeast Asia, Central America, and Europe twice. My travels have inspired me to commit my studies towards an International Studies degree with the hopes of joining the Peace Corps, teaching English abroad, and pursuing a master’s degree later down the road. I am lucky because I am required to study abroad before I graduate since it is an integral part of my International Studies degree. I have learned to appreciate cultural diversity, partake in intercultural communication, and actively battle ethnocentric and judgmental idealisms. My love for the world, culture, and all of humanity is strong. My upcoming journey will take me to the beautiful and vibrant city of Buenos Aires, Argentina. South America has always intrigued me because of its rich history, beautiful people, and breathtaking scenery. I have taken three years of Spanish, so I am hoping that my upper-division Spanish classes will serve me well. My goal is to be fluent in Spanish when I return. I have decided to arrive in Buenos Aires a month before the March semester starts. Their seasons are the opposite from ours in North America, so I will be arriving at the tail end of summer in February and will be experiencing autumn and fall throughout
the school semester. extremely excited and thrilled! I don’t even know where I am going to live yet. I have been looking at Craigslist and into International Student Housing options, but I really want to live with local Argentines to practice my Spanish and have some local know-how. I will be booking myself in a hostel the and exploring Buenos Aires. Trust me: Do NOT be afraid of hostels. Hostels often get a bad reputation as being dirty and scary, but from my experience, they are the best way to meet new people. In addition, they are ridiculously cheap and fairly clean. Most hostels do a great job at organizing unique activities to experience the city and also provide nightly pub-crawls to feel out the nightlife. As nervous as I am about housing, I have full faith that it will all work out. Packing will be the biggest challenge. How am I supposed to pack for six months worth? It is said that the smartest travelers are the lightest packers. I will need to only pack a large suitcase and a travel backpack for smaller backpacking trips. Another hard challenge will be leaving my loved ones at home: my boyfriend, friends, family, coworkers, and fellow CSULB students. Yet their support for my upcoming endeavor has been touching and motivational. I am blessed to have the opportunity to study abroad and remain a proud CSULB student in Buenos Aires.
Food
A Parisian Feast Peek into Au Bouquet Saint Paul By Sarah Towler Illustration by Rose Feduk
It was a rainy afternoon in Paris, and the streets were milled with people clutching bags of warm bread and fresh produce; store windows displayed freshly baked croissants and cakes, the sweet smell wafting onto the icy cobblestone streets. We wandered among the throngs of busy people, taking in the sights and looking for a place to eat. After wandering in and out of small side streets, we came out onto a main boulevard and found a cute corner café called Au Bouquet Saint Paul. The outside seats were lined with hip, young adults with an espresso in one hand, a book in the other, and a half-smoked cigarette close by. We decided to venture inside and take a look at the menu. Stepping inside, we were immediately greeted with a rush of warm air and the
friendly noises of a busy café at lunchtime. We sat at a quiet table in the corner overlooking the bustling sidewalks outside and eventually decided on a Parisian salad and a charcuterie board comprised of As we waited, we sipped rich espresso and white wine, gazing out at passersby. When the food arrived, we were overwhelmed at the aesthetic display and large amounts of food. The salad had an anchovy-based caesar dressing topped with generous portions of ham, swiss cheese, hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, and other vegetables, all beautifully arranged and colorful. The board had a wide variety of cheeses and cured meats that were displayed so tastefully that it would surely make any food lover shed a tear. There
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and of the highest quality, with salamis, cured hams and paté, and a selection of bleu cheese, gorgonzola, brie, and other sharp and creamy cheeses. I typically don’t care for bleu cheese, but this kind was so creamy and rich that I couldn’t help but fall in love. There were also garnishes of pickles, toast, and walnuts, not to mention a freshly baked baguette sliced and brought to our table. It was absolute heaven. Between the two of us, there was still plenty of food left over and it broke my heart that some had to go to waste. I dream of this café everyday, imagining myself at a small table as rain pours down on the streets, mingling with the scent of baking bread and the sound of passing people and cars. My heart—and my stomach—belong to Paris.
Volume 76 Issue 3
Monday, February 2, 2015
LBUNION.COM
DISCLAIMER: It feels good to be on top! Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. Around the world, around the world. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. Submit your Chex mix to grunion@lbunion.com.
Somebody Call 911, Somebody’s Hella Stoopid Dog dials 911 to save owners from fashion crimes (lookin’ hella stupid)
by Dakota Pepperton
7:34 PM. Dispatcher: Department.
The following is a 911 call recorded on Friday, 29th 2015 at
Long
Beach
oatmeal? What is your location, sir? Dog: Well, not LITERALLY drowning but, you know. It’s bad. It’s a real mess. Like she thinks she can just—OH MY GOD. I wish you could be here to see this. She’s putting an oatmeal cardigan on top of her lumpy-ass Quaker blouse. There’s so much khaki going on in this hellhole. I’m feeling faint…
Police
Dispatcher: Sir, is there a real emergency here?
Dog: [Exasperated] Yes I’m here at my home and I’d like to report an assault by my owners. They’ve just come home and they’re on a rampage. I think I’ve lost sight in one eye and–
Dog: Yes of course there’s an emergency here, you monster. I am SUFFERING.
Dispatcher: Okay sir, calm down, please. What is the nature of this assault?
Dispatcher: I’m hanging up now sir. Call ended at 7:36 PM
Moochie Moochie That Toochie in My Coochie I’m a moocher, yes, but an artful moocher—not a thief. I didn’t choose this life; it chose me. Please, allow me to explain. From a young age, my parents wanted a by Ana Lingus top-notch education for me. So from kindergarden on (after the public preschool hoosh hash), they sent me to expensive religious schools, schools filled with self-righteous teachers, rich, pompous parents and ratty kids. My insipid little classmates would invite me to parties for their birthdays, their half-birthdays, their uncle’s third engagement, President’s Day, graduation from cotillion school—any stupid event, you name it, they celebrated it. My parents weren’t rich then or now. Naturally, I felt terribly out of place at these parties. I didn’t belong—so I began pretending to be a rich bastard among rich bastards. I squawked and sniffed and
trotted like the rest of them, and that’s when I began eating their food. Listen to me when I tell you rich people have the best food in the world. We’ll start in the second grade, at the special rich people supermarket, where we took a field trip during the nutrition section of our above-par second grade learning. It was there that I acted like a cute, dumb child and mooched some memorable beans (imported only twice a year from Nepal). Since then, I’ve been finding my way to their lavish parties and siphoning their resources straight from the vine. I wear the same pants every time, but they don’t notice a thing. When I arrive, I automatically think “Where’s the food, rich bozos?” They’re terrible human beings, but damn, do I love their buttery pastries. I plan to keep this up for the rest of my life, enervating from the bombastic baboons their vanilla bean infused Icelandic mushrooms and drinking their mojitos mixed with the spritzes of Brazilian kumquats.
Dog: Well I’m just sitting here in my living room minding my own business, eating ... this tennis shoe, and the man owner decides to come in here wearing cargo shorts lookin’ hella stupid— Dispatcher: Okay, sir, did you say, ‘lookin’ hella stupid?” Dog: Yeah, lookin’ hella stupid. It’s like an affront to my eyeballs. And the lady of the house comes in with this fucking oatmealcolored blouse. Like, she just looks like she’s drowning in oatmeal. Dispatcher: She’s… she’s drowning in
INSIDE
TEENAGE GIRL DISCOVERS BOYFRIEND TO BE A TOTAL DOUCHE
LOCAL DOG ADOPTS NEW FORM OF CAMOFLAGE TO WARD OFF PREDATORS
ART STUDENT CRITICIZES 3D PRINTING, “TOO MUCH 3, NOT ENOUGH D”
ONE IN FOUR WOMEN LINK DEPRESSION TO LACK OF LINDSAY LOHAN ALBUMS