Painting a Persona

DRAG March 10 Volume 74 lbunion.com

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Painting a Persona The craft of Long Beach drag culture

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MEETING

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BRING YOUR FRIENDS, CLASSMATES, DOG, PARENTS, ETC.

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Issue 74.8

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be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the

“Hopefully I inspire young fetuses.”

Adore Delano, Drag Queen

Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

editorinchief@lbunion.com

Marco Beltran, Managing Editor

marcob.union@gmail.com

Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor

connor.union@gmail.com

Eric Garcia, Advertising Exec

advertising@lbunion.com

Rose and the Union take Manhattan Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

It’s been a long time coming, but the Shereen Lisa Dudar, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com

Alfred Pallarca, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com

Sierra Patheal, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com

Molly Shannon, Food Editor food@lbunion.com

Michael Wood, Music Editor music@lbunion.com

Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com

Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Truc Nguyen, Web Manager

Alyssa Keyne, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com

God Warrior, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com

fruition. The idea has been tossed around all the Harry Potter purchased all eight at Target for $20. This feature, but I thought I’d share the good

things called VHS tapes, meaning that all of and the restaurant and venue, Hamburger

In Union that this feature is focused on drag queens kings

Chrissy Bastian, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com

mainstream opportunities for exposure RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Union in bold,

The Making of a King Assistant Editor: Sam Winchester Contributors: Kevin Tran, Renee Schmiedeberg, Michael Honey, Helen Nguyen, Nancy Castelan, Camille Hove, Samantha Spellman, Mario Lopez, Adam Denny, Janna Jesson, Craig Gozer, Joseph Phillips, Alex Berman!

LBUnion.com

@UnionWeekly

Questions? Comments? Cold-sores?

Long Beach, CA 90815.

E-mail: info@lbunion.com

4 Opinions

Unveiling My Faith Why I don’t wear the hijab Shereen Lisa Dudar Opinions Editor

Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

I am Muslim and I don’t wear the hijab, headscarf, veil, or whatever you want to call it. It is not in my immediate plans to wear the hijab, and although I tell myself I might do so when I’m older, it’s very unlikely I’ll ever incorporate it into my life. There is nothing lesser about me as a Muslim because I choose not to wear the hijab. The hijab is a choice. It is not explicitly stated anywhere in the Qur’an (the sacred text of Islam) that women have to cover their hair (unless you’re the Prophet’s wife, but that’s not important right now). There are

woman to downgrade a symbol of piety to an

to wear the hijab, and I have many reasons why I don’t.

I was born in the United States and have thus adopted a dual Middle EasternAmerican culture. My parents’ decision to pull me out of an Islamic private school and put me in public school was their acknowledgement that I couldn’t be sheltered under their culture and ignore the one I was surrounded by. Sometimes I feel disconnected from my roots because I am so deeply involved in being American, but realistically, my mother and grandmothers don’t wear the hijab, so I probably wouldn’t have grown up and decided to wear it.

I have friends who are exceptions to that generalization—the women in their families don’t cover up, but through their interactions with the Qur’an and in discovering their faith, they have chosen to integrate the hijab into their lives. Other times, women wear it because they grew up around it and that’s the norm for them, but it’s not a given. Either way, the hijab is not forced on women. It has nothing to do with men oppressing them and everything to do with a personal connection with God. I have been asked before why I don’t wear the hijab as a fashion statement. Yes, the hijab comes in a variety of colors and patterns and is essentially a scarf, which but I don’t feel it’s appropriate as a Muslim

not Muslim wear headscarves to cover their hair from the rain or because it looks cool, which I don’t have an issue with, for the most part, unless it’s blatantly disrespectful. For example, Rihanna decided that a mosque in Abu Dhabi was the perfect place for a photo shoot. Her minimal attempt at modesty, a hooded jumpsuit, was not at all appreciated by the religious community, and she was asked to leave. While some might feel that the mosque was too harsh and their defensiveness contributes to the idea that Islam is unwilling to adapt to the modern day, what Rihanna did was blatant cultural appropriation.

Wearing a hijab is an indicator of someone’s devotion to Islam; it is not a gimmick for a photo shoot. If you’re in the Middle East or at a cultural event, go ahead and try the hijab on—understand how those women feel, but don’t go out of your way to defeats the purpose. The hijab is a symbol of modesty. Once a woman decides to wear the hijab, it is generally a lifelong commitment.

The low-cut shirts, short shorts, pencil skirts, tights, and any other short, tight pieces of clothing have to go. I’ve seen hijabis blatantly break this rule, but I can’t bring myself to justify it. The decision to wear a or don’t bother. That isn’t to say hijabis can’t be fashionistas—they are actually some of the most fashionably creative women I’ve ever met—but they never compromise modesty for fashion.

Although I have an immense amount of respect for hijabis, especially on extremely hot days, I have chosen to internalize my faith and not display it so overtly. I do not around me that I am Muslim, because it is only a part of who I am.

Take the Challenge Why Lent is worth celebrating Kevin Tran Staffer

March 5th served as the Catholic holiday called Ash Wednesday. It explains why some people on campus have those black ash crosses on their forehead. March 5th also speed, Lent is a holiday where one observes the days before the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The observance of Lent ends on Easter, and it lasts for 40 days and 40 nights, which seems to be a running gag in the Bible.

So, why is it 40 days and 40 nights?

According to the Gospel, Jesus spent 40 days in the desert fasting before beginning his public ministry. The practice of Lent also spans before and after Lent. This is why Easter is celebrated after Lent, and Fat Tuesday is celebrated before. During these 40 days, or six weeks, Catholics, including myself, will abstain from meat on Fridays, fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, as well as giving up something that’s deemed pleasurable. Some examples of pleasures that Catholics tend to give up are sweets, booze, cigarettes, video games, porn, and sometimes Facebook.

For me, personally, I’m giving up buying lunch during school, thus forcing myself to pack my own lunch. The reason being

combo at Sbarro. When I celebrate Lent,

Rules for Riding the Shuttle Don’t pretend to be handicapped Samantha Spellman Contributor

I appreciate the shuttles on campus, and I appreciate that ASI has made the shuttles better. I do not appreciate the blonde asshole who pretended to be handicapped on the shuttle.

I live in the dorms, and I take the west campus shuttle pretty regularly to avoid the walk up the hill. I time when I leave my room to the shuttle app so I don’t wait an exorbitantly long time at the shuttle stop.

The shuttle should have arrived at 12:34pm last Wednesday, but it took an additional 12 minutes to make its way to Parkside. I was already kind of mad seeing as I had a midterm at 2 and I wanted to get in some last-minute studying up in the library, but as I saw the shuttle pull forward more than the back of the shuttle, I realized that the shuttle was running late because someone needed lift assistance.

I immediately felt bad, because essentially I was getting mad at someone for being handicapped and needing extra assistance; that 12 minutes I’d lost was only

I think of what I can do to either improve my self esteem or be a better individual among a crowd. In my opinion, Lent is basically a New Year’s Resolution with a purpose. Typically, I never keep New Year’s Resolutions because the only motivation to keep my promise is myself, and I tend to be unreliable. However, Lent is not a bet or a dare. It has a greater purpose.

According to one of my textbooks, Gaining by Robert Gass and John Seiter, changing an attitude, like giving up something or kicking a habit, requires motivation and ability. Kicking a habit normally fails right away because there is no motivation, and that’s what Lent aims to do for you. It has a reason, even if it’s arbitrary or even if it’s something you don’t believe in.

A reason is better than no reason.

Now, I’m not trying to convert you readers into Catholics. The last thing I ever want to be is a missionary. In fact, I eat missionaries for breakfast, as well as Green Berets. What I suggest, for all of you non-Catholics is to simply kick a habit with us. You don’t have to necessarily believe in Jesus’ 40-day struggle, but instead, believe in your 40-day struggle. If we Catholics can do it, then so can you. From what I’ve heard, it takes a really long time to give up a habit.

a small inconvenience for me, and to be honest, 12 more minutes of studying at this point wasn’t going to prepare me anymore than I already was.

I patiently waited even longer as the shuttle driver went back into the shuttle to move forward more because the lift hadn’t cleared the bench seat; those two minutes Once the driver came back, the passenger’s friend, who was waiting for him, pushed shuttle. At last able to get on, I took a seat facing the blonde in the wheelchair and his friend pushing him, and we started to take my surprise, the guy in the wheelchair got up and ran as quickly as he could to catch up.

The driver stopped and opened the door. The passenger waved, gave a smug grin, and turned around, running in the other direction.

Everyone on the shuttle was extremely confused at this point, and the guy next to me said how his buddy pushing him made

I’ve heard that it takes about 20 days, while other sources say 60 days. The 40 days of for good, or at least, have you go on a trial run on giving it up.

Although us Catholics treat it seriously, you non-Catholics can treat it as a competition, or simply do it just for the hell of it. Surround yourself with Catholics who practice Lent. Chances are they won’t stop giving up. If you surround yourself with the New Year’s Resolution “one-day gym members,” then it’ll create a toxic atmosphere that might demotivate you from going to the gym. What you can also do is pair up with someone Catholic and give up something together. Like many drug recovery programs, members will pair up together in order to succeed.

So stop smoking that cigarette. Quit Facebooking while studying, or stop eating those bacon burgers with bacon weavings as buns. Do what is right for you, and give up that one thing you know needs to be gone from your life.

such a big deal about the blonde being paralyzed, PARALYZED! That didn’t look like lower body paralysis to me! It looked like a blonde asshole wasting everybody’s time, and for what—a stupid, ignorant prank? Not only did you waste my time, you wasted the shuttle driver’s time, you wasted at least 50 other students’ time, and worst of all you essentially mocked all handicapped people.

You should be ashamed—pretending to be handicapped as a joke or to take advantage of the ‘privileges given’ is possibly one of the worst things you could have ever done.

Think for one second how it actually feels to be in a wheelchair—to never be able to walk again and have to always have to be helped in one way or another due to your body’s limitations. To the blonde asshole pretending to be handicapped for a stupid prank, and to his asshole friend, I hope karma comes around and bites you in your asses! I appreciate the shuttles, but I didn’t appreciate this.

5 Opinions

“Kicking a habit normally fails right away because there is no motivation, and that is what Lent aims to do for you.”

6 Campus

or Self-Portrait?

Ed Week for the Win

Joseph Phillips Staffer Craig Gozer Contributor

The College of Education’s open house has something for everyone the dense crowds that populate the narrow

up to make sure that teachers are prepared to help and support all students regardless with cell phone addicts who look down at to learn how to create that safe space that could help these future leaders feel safe and at home.

Wrapping up the week is the Education Job Fair and Workshops beginning at 9:30am

see what it is all about. to ask about getting teaching credentials?

Mixer where experienced men and women abroad. There will also be students and I approach this topic with anger and some

to hang out and share their experiences Go Public life of a public school. The screening will

like awesome networking.

school. A public art piece caught the attention

Why Teach?

Joseph Phillips Staffer

According to College of Ed Dean Marquita Grenot-Scheyer...

The tide is turning when it comes to hiring

will be retiring. I used to think that the those getting their credentials or a degree Beach Unified. decided to do some research on the piece. It turns

There has been a partnership between the two

need for educators in Long Beach. We do not want to reach a point where there is a large

Union Weekly!

interesting to see that some of our habits are

7 Feature

DRAG

Cover by Connor O’Brien Art Director Words & Photos by Molly Shannon Food Editor Alfred Pallarca Culture Editor The art of drag has existed since Shakespearean times, when women were not allowed to act as characters on stage.

Young men would dress in women’s garb and take on the female roles in the play.

There are queens who focus on the glamorous aspect and perfecting the art of impersonating the female face and body,

for performers and audiences to express

Then there are queens who are particularly

show is educating the public and bringing awareness to the art. It is inspiring the

and freestyle and/or choreographed dancing.

Others are notorious for being “busted,”

form of expression.

In this feature, we highlight four

a man who dresses in women’s clothing transgender or gay. Transgender refers to when a person’s gender identity does not match with his, her, (or zer) assigned sex at birth. But a drag queen is a man, typically gay, who fully takes on the persona of a woman, through dress and makeup. Some people are a bit confused when it comes to all of these terms. A possible image that they will paint in their minds when they hear the words “drag

to torment their audience with hilarious androgyny into their acts by sporting beards, female clothing, while still rocking hip pads and breast plates. These are just minute

and Alfredo Mayen (“Robbie Osa”); a past American Idol contestant/current Shark RuPaul’s Drag Race season six contestant Danny Noriega, AKA “Adore

With RuPaul’s Drag Race (a reality like face makeup, or perhaps other words pop into their minds, such as “glamorous,” “funny,” or “fabulous prima donna.” While these aspects can apply to some queens, it performances of drag.

drag queens) at the height of its popularity, producing seasons with increasingly high pushing drag culture from the margin to the mainstream. Not only is it popularizing talented drag queens, it is creating a platform

Beach, as well as RuPaul’s Drag Race season one and contestant Keith Glen Scheubert, better known as “Tammie Brown.” They share their thoughts, struggles and challenges as drag queens and the culture of drag in general.

8 Feature

Tammie Brown (Keith)

Adore Delano (Danny)

@thetammiebrown

@AdoreDelano

@planettammie

@adoredelano

ItsTaMMieBrown

DannyNoriega

upcoming “Hot Skunkz”

the fact is perfecting the characters they set out to be is a long process and an art in itself. Right from the “birth” of a queen, they are found their attitudes, and personas are to become. This means that their makeup and performance techniques

makeup at a young age,” said Danny.

“I was 14; it was a trial and error.” It

and a drag queen on the side, Alfredo criticism upon other queens, “Drag is what you make it, and no one should really tell you how to do it. You could after work where I rush home and I be a bearded lady, you could just be a get painted and perform, and it’s a lot man in makeup. It depends on how of work but it’s worth it,” he said. “It’s an entertainment business, so I think Aside from their appearances, it is hard to get your name out there; establishing a persona and a set of gimmicks or acts that will make them stand out from the rest is a must in the world of drag. Alfredo uses his talent in dancing to execute energy during performances. “Robbie Osa is a high fashionista, but is not afraid to that entertainment professionalism, do splits in $500 boots,” said Alfredo. because it is a job.”

“

polished takes time,” said Alfredo. and well rounded. “I can do multiple difference between me now and a things, so why limit myself?” Malik year and a half ago.” asked. “I want people to see me and Malik explained that perfecting my drag personality and people since he originally began drag. “I am consistent on how I want [her] face to look like now,” he said. “If you look at my pictures from four months ago to now, it’s like, what?

Danny and Keith certainly use their musical backgrounds to enhance their acts. Keith enjoys singing and dancing whether in or out of drag.

Danny, performing in talent shows since he was in his teens, is able to shape his drag around that. “I started performing and that was when I

perfect the craft of contouring and painting their faces for the light to hit he said. “I was in drag basically a certain way and appear softer and competing in singing competitions.” more feminie. The process of putting With all the glamor and the on a “face” could take three hours or more. Makeup is primarily intended to be put on a woman’s face; it is hard to learn the skill of creating this such an extraordinary lifestyle comes obstacles to conquer. Keith said the biggest challenge for a drag queen is

prefer to stick to the norm, regarding feminine features. Keith likes to switch things up and play with the way he contours Tammie’s face. “I’m known for my eyebrows and my lips,” he said, “I like the old Hollywood

pole in the entertainment industry.”

He continued, “People don’t realize how much you put into it. It’s hard to break the mold [and] people’s expectations, or what people think you are supposed to be.”

Drag is what you make it, and no one should really tell you how to do it. You could be a bearded lady, you could just be a man in makeup. It depends on how you perceive your character.

”

drag queens regarding their amount of masculinity/femininity, “You or a masculine young lady, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Meanwhile, Danny said that people create this perception that drag queens are intimidating socializing more challenging. “I am the whole dating thing is a big deal,” he said. His persona is the opposite from the stereotype, and he tries hard to show fans that Adore is as cordial as possible. “I really think the misconception is that we are these unapproachable characters, when I really try to work against that. I try to be as approachable as possible because I think that’s important in the craft of drag. A lot of people lose that, but I really try to break that stereotype. I’m like the homegirl. I would literally drink with you and throw up on a stranger.”

with RuPaul (one of the most popular drag queens and actors of all

doing drag brings upon them. Malik

RuPaul’s Drag Race in the gay community, and dressing season, and the audience has been up as a woman automatically puts introduced to dozens of fresh faces you into that “feminine category.” and seasoned drag queens. Now seen as more “mainstream,” the show has community do think that drag penetrated not only the homosexual queens want to be transexual or community, but the heterosexual community as well, producing queens are ‘bottom’ or ‘feminine’,” he said. “That is not the case for can relate to. “I think [the show] is freaking brilliant,” Danny said. “It has become an epidemic. It’s become this a feminine person just because I am a mainstream platform [that shows] we drag queen, then I will turn the script are human beings; we aren’t freaks. on them.” Touching on this topic as We are literally doing what we feel is well, Keith responded to the general our passion and it is a career.” criticism sometimes made upon

9 Feature

Robbie Osa (Alfredo)

(Malik)

@mayen_osa

@foxie_adjuia

@adoredelano Robbie Osa Phi, March 21

“ has opened I think [drag] a lot of people’s minds and [promoted] tolerance with showing a bunch of men parading around in women’s clothes, because that’s all it is, and people are starting to accept that, even in the gay community.

”

RuPaul’s Drag Race has highlighted not only the queens’ talents, but has also touched on their personal queens tell stories of coming out as gay men to their friends and family, dabbling in the craft of drag, and coming out once again as female audiences are able to humanize them and not see them as merely glamorous of people’s minds and [promoted] tolerance with showing a bunch of men parading around in women’s clothes, because that’s all it is,” said Alfredo.

“And people are starting to accept

stepping stone for the world who for their children to look up to shows how apparent this change in society has become.

Of course, being on the show

could easily pass as a woman. Alfredo explained that “traditional drag, the original drag, was literally a guy, who you knew was a guy, but he put on

of the drag community to see drag queens at their best. At the same time, incorrect perceptions still exist within people’s minds regarding drag queens and the community. Keith drag performers as well, Keith said. “As that requiring a drag queen to only certainly hopes that the show will only bring more awareness and knowledge a good representation of the whole about the drag community. niche that they could play in the community, seeing that some queens intentionally stray away from looking Adjuia are merely “drag babies” like a woman. “That’s what all people compared to the likes of Tammie [would] look for,” he said. “But I think Brown and Adore Delano, the future are creating more of a presence in RuPaul’s Drag Race has gotten better is certainly bright for them, and they the mainstream media aside from being on the show. Shangela has made their crafts. Both especially want to guest appearance on TV shows such ones, like Bianca del Rio and Milk try out for the show or book more as Glee and Two Broke Girls, while that’s totally camp drag.”

With season six of RuPaul’s to see big things happening for drag Drag Race recently premiering with queens. “I want to see world tours like transgendered woman to walk for exceptional ratings, Alfredo said, Katy Perry but with a drag queen,” he Victoria’s Secret’s annual fashion “RuPaul’s Drag Race is going to take said. “I want to open the eyes of the show. Willam has appeared in plenty of kids who looked up to me when I was Hot people want the next best thing. And on American Idol and be like, ‘This is and American Wedding, something I am passionate about, and to come out of it. I think that we need this is something I’m gonna go with’.” to do that.” Regardless of whether both newer and more experienced the show will continue to exist in all of the queens whom we spoke queens are able to see this stage as the future, Malik and Danny think to were unanimous when it came a way to further their careers and that the drag community and the art possibly break the industry’s mold. form will only progress in the future. performers. They agreed that queens Danny described being on the show with Drag Race fans, is that it is more

exposes all your characteristics,” he fans. It’s not like how American Idol gay community in general. was, where they are more ‘You are Perhaps the most important here today and gone tomorrow’.” has had on the younger generation. described RuPaul’s Drag Race as the to the expansion of the community Keith said that he has known drag queens who are not fully comfortable trying to become a part of it and and its supporters. with fame being thrusted upon them, Although the show highlights an of theater, fashion, music, and welcoming to fans, though most do abundance of exceptionality of the not embrace this attitude. Danny community, clearly it is not a full the perception of drag as more of an art form, in addition to a form of explained that he met a young girl, wearing a red wig, and lip syncing to is all about. “It is a good representation entertainment, will become more apparent. “Now all people want to one of Adore’s own songs. “People are understanding it more to where 10 “It does shed light and open the door see are the drag queens that were years ago they would be like, ‘What is to it, but more of a foot in a door. It’s on [RuPaul’s Drag Race that freak doing?’” Danny said, “And not like if you want to learn about drag, go watch that show. It’s not like mainstream still doesn’t really know that.” The show has been criticized

drag, just follow that. Don’t be afraid that support system because once you do, you’ll feel like you can do anything.

And that support system is my family are honest and not afraid to say which looks work for you, because you kind equal human rights, Keith added, “Do drag for yourself. Though you are an seek fame, just do it for yourself and nurture that.”

10 Culture

DVDs and BluRays

Kevin Tran Staffer

me lunch money, and I spent it on a DVD, two mini DVD towers, a cupboard, and two This collection consists of almost 800 to accommodate them all.

mercy of cafeteria food. pay much for meals because I stayed home

the footsteps of Quentin Tarantino and all of

Star Wars

Camille Hove Staffer

My dad started his Star Wars collection piece was a comic book. Since then, he has collected actual replicas of props from the of Darth Vader. He later sold this one, and Dodgeball. call “the Star Wars museum” which is our

in shock.

year. I often decorate him in tinsel or Santa Millennium Falcon rests nearby. My model of helmet, which you can actually

Comic Books

Mario Lopez Staffer complete All-Star Superman Saga comic, the current Hawkeye run, Thor: God of Thunder, Chew Batman Epic Thor run, written by Jason Aaron with Esad

also plenty of other comics like Saga and a recent release, Rat Queens CHEW

KickAss one,” to which they answered, “Take a

includes titles such as: The Amazing SpiderMan Uncanny X-Force run, Godzilla: Half Century War, The

combination of two mediums.

11 Athletics

Winning My Life Back Adam Denny Contributor All my life I’ve been involved with action sports. I was really fortunate to grow up in Seal Beach and have a supportive family that encouraged me to do what I loved from a young age: allowing me to travel, ride in some of the best places in world, and chase swells. I’ve always focused on kiteboarding especially wakeboarding.

One day, when I was traveling to a snow kiteboarding photoshoot with one of my kiteboarding sponsors, I experienced athletic dreams. My cousin, good friend, and I drove for almost 14 hours straight from Seal Beach, California, to Skyline, Utah, for a photoshoot with my kiteboarding sponsors.

The photoshoot location was only accessible by snowmobiles, so we were standing outside of the snowmobile shop waiting for the employees to retrieve them. As we were standing next to a wooden crate, a customer with a trailer attached to his truck started pulling out of the shop’s parking lot, trying to maneuver carefully through the crowded inventory yard. The truck went around me as the driver made a tight right turn, but the congestion caused the trailer to crash into me, pinning my right knee between the trailer and the large crate.

It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. To this day I can still hear the crushing sound the trailer made when smashing the wooden crate. Just before the collision, instead of letting the trailer crush both my legs, I quickly turned and angled my body so it only hit my right leg, but I was standing between my friends, so I wasn’t able to jump out of the way like they were.

I was lucky to be with my cousin, who is a Long Beach lifeguard. He quickly went into lifeguard mode and assessed the situation. He ordered people to call 911, and driveway and placed me on top of the crate.

I was in shock, screaming, and crying. My cousin helped stabilize me and calmed me down. My body went into shock, and I couldn’t think clearly. I was out of breath, cold, panicking, and my heart was racing. I

had only planned to be in the cold for a few minutes, so I had on a thin sweatshirt and pants; I was probably out there in the cold shivering for 20 minutes after I was hit in Once the ambulance arrived, I was rushed to the emergency room. I was conscious during everything. Since we were in a remote area, I was sent to a small hospital, and it frightened me that I was at the mercy of a few nurses and what seemed like only one doctor. I was afraid that, because they were such a small hospital, they wouldn’t be prepared for such a catastrophic accident, but they were able to give me medical treatment to relieve the pain and stabilize my injuries enough so that we could drive all the way back to California to see a specialist.

A year later, after a knee surgery, continuous physical and aqua therapy, and seeing specialists around the country, I was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS). It’s a very rare condition that has no cure. I was in constant pain: it felt like my skin was burning all the time, and the sensation never went away. My doctor told me there was no chance I would ever be able to play sports again. He said I would be lucky to walk short distances and would most likely be disabled for the rest of my life. I never accepted that, though. I truly believed that somehow, someway, I would be able to overcome this and be active again in my sports.

I did numerous risky experimental treatments that were extremely painful— sort of relief from the pain. Some doctors thought I was crazy to even try some of the treatments, but my motto was, “Whatever it takes, I’m down for the cause.”

I went to see the top specialist in the world, Dr. Schwartzman from ketamine infusion treatments. The goal of the treatment was to reset my brain and calm down the nerves that were overreacting and causing the burning pain. Ketamine is also street drug called

“Special K.” It is used as a hallucinogen, and also commonly used by veterinarians to euthanize animals. I had full faith this infusion would be successful, but it wasn’t.

The treatment failed, and when I was only a day or so from completing the treatment, Dr. Schwartzman told my family and me that it would be dangerous to continue and there was no point in going on, because I wasn’t responding to treatment. It was the saddest day of my life. That treatment was my last hope, so when the best doctor in the world said that and discharged me from his program, I felt for the first time my life was over. Furious, I tried arguing and begging him to just try and finish the treatment. He refused.

I came back home, no better than when I started but now with no other options. I had nothing to look forward to medically. But I still truly believed in my heart that I would be active, and do what I love.

Years later, my life revolved around doctor appointments, physical therapy, aqua therapy, and trying holistic treatments to rehabilitate myself, when a friend, Doren, whom I’d met at the hospital during my ketamine infusions, told me about her treatment with a neuroscientist specialist that seemed to be working. Dr. Nick Kealoha, who was located in Miami, Florida, had invented a neuro brain reprograming treatment and had success with people with my condition.

He had more than a yearlong waiting list, so Doren made Dr. Kealoha promise that if the treatment was successful for her, he would put me at the top of the list, and that he did. Dr. Kealoha instructed me to bring my kiteboarding equipment with me on the airplane and said that without a doubt, I would be able to kiteboard after the last day of the treatment. I couldn’t believe his yet alone walk. My family had to push me in a wheelchair through the airport as they sent

like the doctor promised, a lot of my pain

was relieved. I went down to South Beach, Miami, and went kiteboarding that day. I was so excited; still to this day I have trouble using words to describe how great it was. I

wakeboard team and grateful for each and every day. It feels like I’ve been in a time warp. I was on the wakeboard team as a freshman, but I got injured before the competition season started, so I never had a chance to compete. Now here I am back on the team, able to walk to all my classes, and couldn’t be more stoked on life. I’d like to thank my family, friends, sponsors, doctors, professors, the Learning Assistance Center, and Disabled Student Services for supporting me and helping me get where I am today—I feel like a regular student again.

That is all I ever wanted. I feel blessed that I got my second chance. I never gave up on school, sports, or living. Those thoughts never crossed my mind. I just always knew life again. Even if just one person reads this and it inspires them to keep trying and never give up, then that’s what it’s all about.

Whatever it takes, I’m down for the cause.

Long Beach State Wakeboard Team We ride on Fridays at Marine Stadium Club Email: csulbwakeclub@gmail.com Adam’s Website: ridelit.com

12 Entertainment

“Although it may not seem like a rewarding feeling, seeing your friends and coworkers fail is pretty rewarding..”

Consider the Oscar Two movie buffs share their observations of the subpar ceremony Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor and Kevin Tran Staffer

The country of Ukraine is going through a bloody revolution, a news anchor resigns on air because of the Russian Occupation in Crimea, America is starting to adapt to Obamacare, and midterm season is upon us. All of these issues are worthy topics to discuss and contemplate. However, these are all just distractions on our list of priorities.

Instead, we have decided to concentrate our brain juices on the 86th Academy Awards and all of its Oscar glory. Why? We are still asking ourselves that same question.

Every year, both of us make Oscar polls and have a contest amongst friends and colleagues. Although it may not seem like a rewarding feeling, seeing your friends and coworkers fail is actually pretty rewarding.

But, we are petty and self-important and we love movies. Anyway, the ceremony ended, and the test results came back. Kevin got 19 categories right out of 24, which really pissed from 22, had he gone with the predicted favorites. Kevin got Best Documentary Feature, Best Editing, and Best Original Screenplay wrong simply because he thought they were not going to play it safe.

I, on the other hand, only missed two.

I incorrectly thought that Blue Is The Warmest Color was going to win Best Foreign in fact never nominated. I felt really stupid, because it was the only dark horse that I had voted for. It was like placing a bet at a race track for a dead horse. I also wrongly picked Gravity to win Best Production Design. I Gravity would sweep all the technical awards, but it did not. Overall, I did pretty well. I went with all the favorites

and with the exception of my deviations, I was 100% correct. It just goes to show that people should not have individual thoughts and go with what other people tell them.

Ironically, Kevin was mad at the Oscars because he did not get mad. There was nothing upsetting about that night, nor were there any categories that did not win out according to Kevin, nobody gives a shit about them. I did not watch the ceremony, because I have my ethical dilemmas about the Oscars.

David Foster Wallace said it best, “The Academy Awards’ notorious commercialism and hypocrisy disgust many of the millions and millions and millions of viewers who tune in during prime time to watch the presentations. We pretty much all tune in, despite the grotesquerie of watching an industry congratulate itself on its pretense $5,000 gowns invoke lush clichés of surprise and humility scripted by publicists, etc.— the whole cynical postmodern deal—but we all still seem to watch.” That being said, I still watched all the highlight clips scattered throughout the Internet in order to correctly critique the ceremony.

First and foremost, Ellen Degeneres is boring. This was one thing Kevin and I agreed on entirely. And despite its record-breaking Jared Leto had the non-pretentious version on that later). Kevin believed Leto had the best clip when they announced the award for Best Supporting Actor. Personally, I thought

best acceptance speech. She undeniably deserved her award and it is pretty cool when a debuting actress becomes a breakout star overnight. We hope to see more from her in the upcoming years. way we see it, any time a person does their

awesome is the fact that his following speech to the audience consisted solely of “Hi.” The winners for “Let it Go” were cool in the fact that their win heralds them into the 30 Rock fan, an EGOT is when a person wins an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony.

In what could be called the most talked about the event of the ceremony, Matthew for humility. I do not know what to make of his speech because I could not understand what he was talking about. I can only surmise that he was thanking science, God and himself. Kevin thinks it was pretty ballsy that McConnaughay thanked God. I disagree. It would have been more outrageous had he thanked Satan.

Finally, the second most infamous moment came from a simple mispronunciation of a name. However, the name is not at all hard, or complicated. But John Travolta is the master of fucking shit itself. There are so many reasons that could possibly be the true meaning of “Adele Dazeem.” So we are going to give you three possible reasons as to why he messed up

about to sneeze and stops mid-sneeze when he realized that he fucked up his one job.

soul, thereby possessing him for a brief second. As a result, the mentioning of the name “Adele” truly came from Adele, and Dazeem was some malevolent and insidious apparition or specter. Lastly, John Travolta was secretly a Russian defector, and said the name “Adele Dazeem” to wake up the numerous sleeper agents hidden all over

that the real code word was “Idina Menzel” this whole time.

The real big winner is most of us onto the Oscars. Although it does mention it was satisfying that our voice made a

her to be mentioned in the “In Memoriam” list, Sarah Jones was mentioned at the last second, and that was the greatest moment in the 86th Oscars.

13 Music

The Conception of Convoke A creative and free musical gathering right here on campus Alyssa Keyne Literature Editor Unbeknownst to many students on campus, one of the most vibrant concerts takes place once or twice a month on Thursday nights at 11pm in the music department. Its name is Convoke and, like the Union Weekly, it’s entirely student run. I interviewed two of Marcus Carline, to enlighten our readers about this event.

Union Weekly: What is Convoke?

Marcus Carline: Convoke is an actual word, which means “to gather,” like a convocation. The guys before us were like, “Man, we have some pieces that we really want to get performed, but there is no place for them to be performed. Is anybody using the Daniel Recital Hall really late at night?

No? We’re using it now.”

This is the reason Convoke got started. The founders were Ed Park and Justin Scheid who have since left us for better pastures. Ed wrote this piece, and the piece had—well, for normal music you have notes and you just play them, but for contemporary art music there’s usually notes and instructions. The notes were really fucking hard. It was a hard piece to play for solo cello, and the instructions said, “Do not practice this music. Get on stage and sight read, and every time you mess up you must curse audibly.” We got one of the best out acting, and just saying “God. Fuck. Shit.”

By the end, you started to catch on that she was doing this on purpose. She started comedically cussing over the top every time she fudged a note. By the end, she was just screaming profanities at the top of her lungs.

It was the funniest thing! The piece was really beautiful, but she was freaking cursing the whole time. It was basically, “I like this piece, but I can’t show my professor or turn it in for a grade. Let’s throw a concert.”

UW: Who runs Convoke, and is it free?

ZK: Basically Convoke is thrown together at exactly the last minute by seven or eight students. There’s zero professor involvement. We just check out the venue ahead of time, and they say, “Don’t light

sometimes the acts come to us. We build a setlist, we go out and we buy food, and we make posters.

MC: Everything is up to us seven students.

Yes, it’s free! It’s so free.

ZK: It’s so free, it hurts. We basically pay you to be there.

MC: There’s free food!

UW: What kinds of acts are at Convoke?

MC: whistle ensemble, ska bands, punk bands, a folkestra, normal bands, rock bands, a capella choirs, free improvisation, weird quartets, a guy playing a cactus, and – more recently-- poetry and dancing.

UW: What are the rules at Convoke?

MC: We always announce the rules at the beginning of Convoke; that is one of the rules. First rule is “Do not do anything that would prevent a future Convoke from happening.”

ZK: Rule number two, “This is an informal show, please feel free to get up and talk.” One of the reasons Convoke exists is to break some of the social rules regarding concert etiquette.

MC: Rule number three: “Always respect the performers that are on stage because they are giving their best for you and you should respect that.” Those are the most important

rules of Convoke.

ZK: Oh, and no food in the hall.

UW: What are some of the most successful shows you’ve put on?

MC: What might have been our most successful one was the Halloween one two years ago that Zaq wasn’t at. The one thing that I will probably remember it for was that we put a DJ on for the last act, and it just turned into a many-hour dance party all on the stage. We try and repeat that every once in a while. That was a really good one.

ZK: I was ridiculously proud of this last one because it showed our cross genre ability.

Mostly because the motherfucker who was playing a laptop in the laptop cactus duet immediately picked up an upright bass afterwards to play in my bluegrass band. I just love the dichotomy of that musicianship.

MC: act (as I gesture at Alyssa), and we had our saxophone— ZK: But mostly cactus.

UW: What is your vision for Convoke (when you graduate), and what do you want people to take away from Convoke?

MC: I hope it continues on without us.

ZK: I’d personally like for it to continue the way it’s going by getting people from other arts. Not just music majors because it’s

mostly music majors right now.

MC: I love when people who aren’t music majors come and have fun. We’d also like people to participate in it and grow from things. To some people it’s a very meaningful concert, and to some people, it’s just a place things that you can take away from a Convoke, and we hope people do take away little things just for themselves, that they At the end of the day, if people just come and have a good time and relax about their lives just a little bit, I’m okay.

The next Convoke will be held March 20, 2014, in Daniel Recital Hall in the music department (near the Pyramid). To receive updates about Convoke!, please join the Facebook group Convoke!: Late Night Sessions. It’s a private group, but they will add anybody. If you’d like to play at Convoke, please contact either Zaq or Marcus by Facebook message or through the group. Please email us at info@ lbunion.com for more information.

14 Literature

Grab Bag Stories This week, we asked writers to create short stories from a collection of 30 genres, central items, and lines of dialogue. We wanted to see what some of our favorite contributors could produce under restricted circumstances and received eclectic stories that challenged our imaginations. Can you guess which elements these authors chose?

Tweet your thoughts to us @UnionWeekly.

Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

Baby

A Short Story by Janna Jesson Staffer

Superhero Status

A Short Story by Camille Hove Staffer

15 Food

Bean There, Sipped That Polly’s Gourmet Coffee

Bogart’s Coffee House

Renee Schmiedeberg Staffer

Michael Honey Contributor

You can stop whenever you want. You don’t

whipped cream I’ve ever had, and sprinkled with nutmeg. Listen to me when I tell you to ask for the whipped cream. While you let the skilled hands of Polly’s employees make your drink, be sure to give a good pat to the

simply must stop into Polly’s Gourmet

Upon entering this shop, a tinkering bell hanging on the door will sound, announcing

Guatemalan, your Sumatra Mandehling, and your Jamaican Blue Mountain.

Before Winter break I’d bought a bag

boost. Luckily that’s when I discovered the

it was still fabulous. That being said, don’t be overwhelmed by Polly’s wide array of blends—almost any blend is a sure win.

The average price for a fabulous brew is around one to two dollars and around three

where I can work in peace.

Located at the end of Main Street in Seal Beach facing the ocean, Bogart’s could not be in a more perfect location. Something about this area of Seal Beach takes me away from a life of seemingly endless deadlines and constant pressure and makes me feel like I’m in a small town, and Bogart’s is no exception. Every time I’m there I frequently hear baristas greeting customers by name, and the sound of friendly conversation

woodsy decor. You will feel as if you have stepped into a Canadian lodge and have suddenly developed the taste for moose hunting. You will frantically look around peanuts as your aid. Okay, not really, but you will at least start to salivate. If you’ve been

than the shop itself gazes down approvingly do indeed roast their own beans! That gilded monstrosity is what roasts those aromatic bullets of ecstasy. So fragrant is the aroma that local real-estate agents say that it’s even helped them sell homes. Their roaster sells homes. My personal favorite beverage

Green House Cafe

I don’t know what happened to me this semester but it’s come to the point where I can no longer do school work at home.

Without fail I’ve found some sort of distraction, whether it was having long philosophical conversations with my dog, cooking in my underwear, or falling into productivity death traps known as Tumblr

in an Earth-friendly cup by an employee who humanitarian employees, big hulking bags of

Located in the heart of Downtown Long overlook while making their way to work. On the corner of Linden and Broadway, Green ever need a good place to study, a place to

relatively small space, Bogart’s makes it work by having a sort of living room feel to it, with couches, arm chairs, small tables, and even a bookshelf full of books and board games, made complete with very comforting natural light and relaxing music. Bogart’s

walls are complete with paintings of beach scenes as well as various works of art and movie posters featuring the establishment’s

blended drinks, smoothies, shaved ice and even sandwiches and fresh baked goods.

Bogart’s has something for all. Though I my tea. Luckily Bogart’s does not skimp out when it comes to their tea selection, ranging from simple green and black teas, to more to be inspired by ’60s hippie culture, and as delicious as it is, I can feel my masculinity being chipped away every time I order overall what makes Bogart’s so great is that it doesn’t desperately pander to hipsters or simple, distinct style that attracts all walks of life, giving it a truly authentic feel to it.

Whether it be hammering out an essay, reading a book, or listening to live local music on Friday nights, Bogart’s is the perfect place to spend a day to yourself, with good company, or if you want to pick up something hot before walking along the pier at night.

the place for you. This locale is well-lit and adorned in a way that you feel at home—the moment you step foot through the door you with seating areas, and a gallery featuring work from local artists. They also have an

oatmeal, sandwiches and salads, all of which are made to order, and everything is organic. this place a try. You won’t regret it!

Nancy Castelan Contributor

Paul’s Coffee Shop Helen Nguyen Contributor

those of us that can’t handle lactose by

Paul’s Coffee Shop is the place you want to go to for some good, heavy grub. Getting recognition from Food Network’s Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, this local favorite feels like home for regulars, especially veterans.

With well known favorites like the country fried steak, pork-steak and the veterans’

favorite, SOS, this diner draws in crowds best of the best, the king of all diners and dives as everyone proclaims it to be. But I think that’s what makes this place unique.

Rather than focusing on their food, they seem to aim towards making their

customers happy and feel at home. You can walk in there and you will find that the waitress there will know at least a couple of faces. That is why I find Paul’s Coffee Shop to be special and underrated.

Volume 74 Issue 8

Monday, March 10, 2014

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Hey, God Warrior Here. If I could turn back time. If I could find a way. I’d take back those words that hurt you and you’d stay. I don’t know why I did the things I did, I don’t know why I said the things I said. Pride’s like a knife it can cut deep inside. Words are like weapons they wound sometimes. Send your tucks to 1212 Bellflower Blvd Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. In Sonny’s name I pray and command you submit silkworms via email to grunion@lbunion.com.

Just Deserts: News Briefs from the Wasteland Barstow,

California:

Self-proclaimed

spending money on an ATV. Sharon Brown complained that the money spent on the all-terrain vehicle was equivalent to that of a Barstow home mortgage payment.

Cody retorted by informing his wife that bought the vehicle on credit. Mrs. Brown told her husband that he cared more

California/Nevada Stateline: Aspiring journalist and Hunter S. Thompson enthusiast Miguel Madera went on a personal journey in order to discover the American Dream. However, unlike his predecessor, he did not manage to make it to Las Vegas. Instead, he set his sights

Riverside, California: Local community college student Stu Koontz is the only person in his political science class to

line, located about a hundred miles from Victorville. Madera ordered cheap beer and spent a few hundred dollars on the roulette tables, but reached no epiphany.

The only observation he made which was of any seemingly artistic value was

reading the book, I just realized that I am

Atlas Shrugged, thus making him the most superior person in class, and validating any libertarian political position he adheres to.

regulations and people telling me what to

that he has no intention of completing the book as he continues to get top comment whenever he posts political statements on news websites.

kill people then bring them back to life. There was only one man that could do that and he died for our sins many years ago trying to stop Skynet from taking over humanity, and again on Mars when his head almost exploded when he saw that lady with three boobs. And shall I retell the story about the time he had to tell his wife those true lies in order to keep her safe from those terrorist that traveled through a movie screen because of a deal he had to do with the devil in order to stop their plot to clone him several times? Lest we forget about that time he pushed Mufasa down those stairs because he

Game of Thrones? Or that one called Serenity? My

pie recipes into your ears. I can be helpful. I can predict things that are going to happen.

Confessions (Old news, I know, but people still use that as a way to communicate how funny it is

about their marriage, where upon, Cody reminded his wife of their love and the two made up with a round of passionate, angry make-up sex.

Despite the stupid things that are written in this

It occurred to me this morning, as I pressed my face against my car window so I could see the oil from my face on the glass, that I have not written much this year. That simply cannot be the extent of my legacy in this publication. How are people going to know about the end of the

by God Warrior world or which TV dinner goes best with Skudz, a drink I created using aged Caprisuns and boiling hot vodka?

A War of Shadows

Victorville, California: Studies conducted by the University of California, Berkeley determined that everyone you have ever hated will one day settle and reside in Victorville.

Most of them will work

by Rosa Madoo in fast food restaurants located near the area which serves as a shitting and eating station for Vegasbound commuters. While their economic prospects may seem desolate like the city itself, their paltry pay will provide them with a $150,000 mansion. The mansion will serve as shelter for the rest of their mediocre and uninteresting existence.

INSIDE

SURVEY RANKS AOL EMAIL USERS AMONG TOP TEN TO DIE ALONE

DUCK COMMUNITY OUTRAGED OVER LACK OF REPRESENTATION IN ANAHEIM-BASED TEAM

LOCAL MAN LEAVES FAMILY TO CHILDHOOD DREAM OF BEING GOAT

PURSUE