My Brother, My Brother and Me (and Us)

April 21 Volume 74 lbunion.com

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My Brother, My Brother, and Me (and Us) We interview the siblings behind the popular advice podcast

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI or Union Weekly staff. All letters

Issue 74.12

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returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance

“Is ‘hard-on’ hyphenated?”

-Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor

Marco and the Newspaper Usurpation Marco Beltran Managing Editor Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

editorinchief@lbunion.com

Marco Beltran, Managing Editor

marcob.union@gmail.com

Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor

connor.union@gmail.com

Eric Garcia, Advertising Exec

advertising@lbunion.com

Shereen Lisa Dudar, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com

Alfred Pallarca, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com

Sierra Patheal, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com

Molly Shannon, Food Editor food@lbunion.com

Michael Wood, Music Editor music@lbunion.com

Connor O’Brien, Art Director connor.union@gmail.com

Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Truc Nguyen, Web Manager

Alyssa Keyne, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com

God Warrior, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com

Chrissy Bastian, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com

Assistant Editors: Sam Winchester, Renee Schmiedeberg.

Advertising Interns: Trevor Desrosiers, Lisa Campbell.

Contributors: Kevin Tran, John Villanueva, Sarina Carlilse, Sabina Couturier, Renee Schmiedeberg, Alex Berman, Sam Winchester, Toria Denofrio, “J”, Sam McTonnell, Ivana Monson, Rebecca Komathy, David Hayter, Nancy Castelan.

LBUnion.com

@UnionWeekly

Questions? Comments? Chocolate frogs?

Long Beach, CA 90815.

E-mail: info@lbunion.com

Hello again. Rose, talented as she is, was a little too busy illustrating this week’s cover—something that no Editor-inChief has done, which is really awesome— to write this “Letter to the Editor” thing for the issue. I love any opportunity I get to write this because it gives me the option to be as deep and as personal as I want, while still giving you a bit of insight as to how we choose to flex our creative muscles on a weekly basis.

Since its inception a few years back, this page has undergone a slew of changes based on how the EIC interprets how they should present themselves to the campus. It’s hard to come up with something witty or informative to say on a week-to-week basis, so people have stuck to themes or reflecting on weekly events which can be shots in the dark if nothing interesting happened in the week leading up to writing. That’s when the magic happens. When you peel away the layers of prefabricated personas people create when writing and that trying to be cool bullshit, you’re left with a tangible vulnerability. They can be a little crazy or sad, but those are the most memorable ones for me.

While I came into this page with a clear idea of what I wanted to say, I’d like to spend the brunt of this addressing one of my regrets as an editor. I’m nearing the end of my tenure as an editor, a personal choice I’ve made partly because I’ve been at this for so long that lately I’ve felt like Bilbo Baggins at the start of the Fellowship of the Ring: “thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

I’ve given so much for the paper and gone through so much in my personal life while working here, yet there’s one regret that still haunts me: I have always wanted to make a Union Weekly podcast. I know

that’s such boring thing to regret, and if you could see me you’d probably assume that there are probably deeper and darker things at the top of my queue of regrets, but I think the Union as an entity draws in a variety of contrasting personalities that would probably make for a fun listen for anyone. Not because I think we have something to say or that I know for a fact that it would be interesting, but because I think it would be a fun process to work with friends and colleagues.

Although creating a Union podcast gives off the appearance of ease, just pressing record when we’re all together and publishing that as a thing, that would get boring really quick. Therein lies the problem. The easiest thing isn’t the most interesting thing.

We touch on that idea a little bit in our feature this week with the podcast, My Brother, My Brother, and Me (MBMBAM, for the true fans out there,) but coming up with a concept for a podcast is probably the hardest part of podcasting. It’s not enough anymore to make a podcast where it’s three friends talking in a room.

There’s too many of those now. Listeners have grown with the medium, subscribing to podcasts that either offer something on a hyper specific subject, like reviews of junk food or stories by comedians of how terrible high school was for them, or ones that have managed to take the medium in a new direction. I wanted to do something cool, but coming up with a cool concept and having the time to craft it into existence is much harder than it seems.

Or perhaps exactly as hard as it seems.

If you’ve felt these feels, I press you to read on to the feature, where three incredibly funny brothers let us giggle like children and ask them about their lives.

Hop to it!

4 Opinions

The necessity of learning about healthy relationships Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-In-Chief

“J” Contributor (Name Withheld)

When I was in high school, a popular joke among my friends was about getting raped.

“Going to jail? Don’t drop the soap.” Now that I’ve actually been through it, I can’t say that rape is anything like the jokes. It’s a deeply human, personal thing that happens to you, destroys you, takes your soul, and smashes it—and from there, you have to take what’s left of you and try to rebuild. It’s never the same. When I think of the future, though, I would rather try to prevent rape than attack the current rapists.

“Maybe if he had been better educated about what consent and healthy relationships are, I would not have had to go through all this.”

Two years ago, during my spring break, I was raped by my lover after I ended our relationship. In a single moment—I would say it was less than 10 minutes—my whole life changed dramatically. I’m lucky because he never attended this school, so I don’t have to face him on a daily basis, but other rape survivors do. The sad thing is that colleges don’t take action most of the time; they don’t try to remove perpetrators from survivors’

classes or residence halls, and they have to live with their perpetrators daily. I can’t imagine what that does to their psyches— how destroyed they become as a result.

While I didn’t have to face the man who raped me, I did face my friends and family

why I got raped, as if I could have prevented him from raping me. With other crime—if you stole from me, for instance—it would be your fault. People would not question that at all. They wouldn’t tell me to stop wearing jewelry or maybe not to live in such a great house. Rape is the only crime where we ask the survivor why.

A lot of our culture, so far, has looked at the victim, and we have taken the perpetrator out of the equation. It should be a simple sentence: “John raped Mary.”

But instead, we hear, “Mary was raped.”

“Mary is a rape victim.” John is thrown out of the conversation. The language of rape focuses so much on the victim that we’re not even looking at this perpetrator and saying, “What can we do to them? How can we help them be healthier and make improvements on their life decisions?” Because right now, rape happens before college. So we’re not even teaching the future perpetrators in high school what consent is.

We’re not teaching perpetrators about how to grow and nurture healthy, loving relationships. Instead, we have this culture of, “Well, you know, they are only here for your money, so take them out for a nice dinner, and then you can get in their pants.”

Or, “If they say no, they don’t really mean it.

They’re just teasing.” And that’s just the ugly culture we live in.

As for me, that guy—he contacted me so much after it happened, through my phone and computer. He wrote me text

messages saying he loved me, telling me not to leave him, how upset he was that I wasn’t contacting him—it was a constant thing.

I never pursued legal action against him; I I was discouraged because of the way it went down. I didn’t go to the hospital afterwards, so I didn’t have evidence. It would just be “he-said-she-said,” and I never wanted to face that in court.

Instead, I choose to be very public about it. I would rather get education pushed into K-12 and college campuses, to try to teach men and women about healthy relationships and try to keep more perpetrators from attacking people. Maybe if he had been better educated about what consent and heathy relationships are, I would not have had to go through all of this.

There’s a campaign right now—UCLA has a student coalition called 7000 in Solidarity. They are doing a campaign where they’re putting up posters of students drinking to try to separate the issues of alcohol and rape. There’s a study out that correlates alcohol use with sexual assault, saying that it occurs most often when people are drunk. But that is making the issue of rape about the possible alcohol abuse of the survivor—not about the rapist who actually the discussion of rape and sexual assault that from the facts. Clothes, alcohol, a sparkling smile—they all get blamed, when really, the problem lies in the fact that perpetrators don’t understand where the boundaries of consent lie.

They don’t understand that consent is only given when you and I are not drunk; if we are drunk and we say yes, it actually means no. If you’re drunk, drugged, or in any way inebriated, the answer is always going to be no, and you should just wait.

These are the types of things we need to teach people. We need to start young and teach healthy relationships to people. One of the many ways our campus tries to advocate against sexual assault is through Project Safe and the Women’s Resource Center. Amongst the programs happening this week are Take Back the Night and Speak Out. During Speak Out at Soroptimist House at 7pm on April 23rd we will have a performance by InterAct, which is an improv troupe that goes around to relationships. They’ll have a situation—say, for instance, Joe and Mary are a couple, they and Mary is confronted by her friends, and they say, “Well, Mary, what were you wearing?

Why are you making such a big deal about this? Oh, Mary, shut up, it’s your boyfriend; it’s no big deal.” InterACT plays through that scenario, and then they call audience members up and say, “Now, I want you to go into that conversation, and I want you to stop rape blame from happening to the survivor.”

It provides a really good way for people to go into conversations, like a bystander approach—putting action between the two to prevent things from escalating.

Not every person has the ability to speak out like I have. So if you do have a friend or family member that comes out to you, the best thing to say is, “I believe you.” When one friend told me that, I felt like someone It empowered me to further speak out publically. I wouldn’t say all survivors need to do that; everyone has their own way to heal. My way was being loud and brassy and conquering the world—I wouldn’t recommend my way, because it’s hard and it’s sleepless, but it’s what I need to do to make this horrible grotesque thing not conquer my life.

Kevin Tran Staffer

Hint: The answer is never and nowhere Fads come and go, like planking, or when frat boys wore their stupid visors upside down. fads, they will eventually die out—just like times, we will ponder why. Why was it such a good idea? Why was it popular?

If you don’t know me, I’m practically the designated grumpy cat of the Union Weekly.

I’ve used this paper to rant about my disdain for Disneyland, Instagram, and The Walking Dead. And now, I bring to you my testimony haters. I don’t give a fuck. memory’s sake entirely overrated, simply because I don’t like to look back at my life in pictures. I remember what happened. If the moment was memorable enough to take a picture of, then it’s memorable enough to remember on my own. Besides, I live in the present and leave the past behind. I sweep things under the rug, I bury the hatchet, and I take my dates out on nice dinners and never call them back. I never understood the idea

Failure Why airlines should not have Twitter accounts Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor

of capturing a memorable moment through your face. Are you attempting to record your reactions? Or is this your attempt to prove to yourself that you’re having fun? How much fun can you really be having if you have time

care about others around you and actually enjoy your surroundings. The emphasis is not on the location you’re at, the activity you’re taking part in, or the people you’re with—it’s on your face.

themselves. I already see my whole life in the culture of uploading those images to Instagram just feeds a hollow vacuum of nothingness. They don’t aim to be placed in a picture with no meaning. If your picture doesn’t speak a thousand words, I want no part in it.

to the Internet so others can see it in third.

the capacity to be destructive and even disrespectful. Like planking, people will take a fad to dangerous proportions. This all has something to do with the science of

extremely narcissistic. This is obviously themselves with poorly Photoshopped body enhancements. Maybe the reason I don’t care about people approving of the way I look. It’s like a guy version of feminism.

out the incredibly stupid people from the normal members of society. For example,

include funerals and memorial sites, but people do it. Am I expected to like that?

taking pictures of your face, you cease to

Social networking has drastically changed the advertisement industry. Some things remain constant, like the weird pseudofriendships corporations try to start with their clientele. This type of marketing has been going on for a while, but the Internet has taken this approach to new levels of elevated the creepiness. And even more to astonishing levels.

The reason I single out Twitter is due to the 140-character constraint. Think about it; how well-articulated can a thought be when it’s only about 80 words long? At maximum.

I mean, right now you’ve read about 100 words and I have not really said anything substantial. With this crushing limit on language, ideas become very ambiguous and incomprehensible.

Secondly, since comments on Twitter need to be compressed into Hemingwayesque levels of terseness, sometimes straight-to-the-point tweets don’t get straight to the point. They leave a lot of

open-ended questions. Like when American

tweet this? Why remind your customers that there’s a chance that something could go wrong? Fatally wrong. I see no point in that.

Airlines shouldn’t have Twitters—it’s as simple as that.

Another point, and probably the most important point of all, is that the Internet and its social media sites are a haven for the trolls.

teenager. Some dumbass Dutch girl tweeted a potential threat as a joke to American Airlines. Well, anyone who grew up in post9/11 world knows that making a threat to an airline company isn’t a good fucking idea.

Subsequently, the Dutch girl was arrested (albeit by her own volition) and now her IP address and all other information is being monitored by the FBI. Was this reaction a little harsh? Possibly. Do I think this dumbass girl deserves all this punishment? Not really.

They capitalize on our individualistic culture. A cry for help with the words “me” written in the sand and nothing else. As a result, everything around you becomes meaningless, and there is no concern for the collective well-being of others around you.

There is only you and that smart phone.

I don’t hate selfies. I simply just don’t get them. I don’t get them in the same sense that I don’t get why people eat fried butter sticks. There has to be some reason why people do the things they do. Is it because people like to showcase their lives through pictures, or are they capturing a moment, or do they simply like the way they look and need to show it off to the world? I don’t know. I’m not a part of this group, and I don’t see why it has become a “cool” thing to do. (If anyone wants to write an angry response to this article, I’ll personally buy you lunch or something because that was pretty fucking awesome the last time that happened.)

Look, I understand that airlines and other companies want to stand out online against their competition. I understand that; I’m not trying to curtail their profits.

I’m not a communist. But, all the social networking is pretty lame. I scrolled through American Airlines’ Twitter feed, and I found nothing but pleasantries and referrals to their many websites. Every question that a customer had about a flight was answered with a redirection to their official website or a, “We wish we were going to [whichever location was fly there. In fact, you’re the reason I’m about to fly there. And secondly, if my answer can’t be answered by your Twitter feed, then why have one? I was doing fine navigating through your website.

It’s pretty straightforward. Hopefully, humanity will one day evolve to the point where we can begin to tame the anarchic entity that is the Internet. Until then, let’s try to limit the chaos we create on our computers.

5 Opinions

“If your picture doesn’t speak a thousand words, I want no part in it.”

6 Campus

...the Wilderness Studies Program at CSULB! The Academic Senate will meet this Thursday, April 24th, to vote on whether or not to keep the Wilderness Studies program at CSULB. As a student who has taken these classes, I am both saddened and dismayed by the administration’s decision to eliminate this valuable program. Wilderness Studies classes give students a chance to enrich their educational experiences while learning valuable skills, such as leadership, teamwork, organization, and planning. The classes and trips are also a lot of fun and a good stress reliever for busy students. They give students from various majors a chance to branch out and meet people they might not have met in their regular classes. International students love Wilderness Studies because they get to see some of the most beautiful parts of our country. Cutting this program would be detrimental to the university as a whole, as it will be ending an almost 40-year tradition of Wilderness Studies on our campus. We will also be losing a valuable part of our college experience. This is just another example of how students at CSULB are being asked to pay more fees than ever before while

terms of class variety.

teaching them what it takes to organize and execute a plan. Now that the Wilderness

Wilderness Studies that concentrated on teaching students how to safely lead others in outdoor activities. Students pursuing

the value of these classes has decreased, and students’ abilities to pursue their academic goals are further narrowed.

Wilderness First Responder and took classes such as backpacking, kayaking, winter mountaineering, and rock climbing—each of which includes a weekend trip. The students also had to take various expedition classes that consisted of weeklong trips to deserts, mountains, and lakes. Some may argue that having a Wilderness Studies

semester in the Wilderness Studies program are backpacking, kayaking, and rock climbing.

Backpacking teaches students everything they need to know to successfully navigate in mountainous environments. In addition to packing and preparing for a three-day trip in the mountains, students learn about wilderness cooking, navigating with a map and compass, organizing group hikes, rock climbing, rappelling, and responding to emergency situations. The kayaking class teaches students how to kayak in bays and rivers. Rock climbing teaches students how to tie knots and safely engage in the activity.

There is always an emphasis on safety in these classes, which teaches students how to avoid and respond to dangerous situations.

a high-paying job, but I think employers will undoubtedly be impressed when someone has the skills needed to survive in challenging environments; it shows a level of commitment, discipline, passion, and courage to be able to put oneself in these types of situations. While I do understand the university’s need to save money, I think this program is great for not only teaching students how to become leaders but also

David Hayter Staffer gotten the chance to go camping and have the amazing experiences I had here. These classes may end up as an extension program, which would make them too expensive for most students to take. This seems to contradict the mission of the CSU, which is students. I sincerely hope that I never have to have the conversation with future CSULB students about how awesome it was to have a Wilderness Studies Program on our campus.

Anyone who wants to help support the program should join us this Thursday (April 24th) outside the Towner Auditorium (PSY-150) at 1:30pm to show that we want to keep Wilderness Studies alive on our campus. Leaders from the Wilderness Studies program have asked students to wear green in a show of solidarity.

For more information on how you can support the program, look for the CSULB Wilderness Studies group on Facebook.

university, I don’t think I would have ever

Fun(draising) Festivities

Meet the dazzling divas of DLP

Words and Photo by Molly Shannon Food Editor

Do you know what our school kind of sucks at? Fundraisers. Students just aren’t getting very creative anymore. Who really needs another bake sale, am I right? How about car washes? Boring as hell! And don’t even get

haven’t already seen them perform, here’s your chance!

I speak from personal experience when I say that this event is absolutely worth attending; the performers are insanely talented and bring such a strong presence to the stage— and a portion of the proceeds will be donated to the LGBT Center of Long Beach! It’s a win-win situation, so come support the fraternity and appreciate the art of drag. Student tickets are $10, non-student tickets are $12, and “Greeks” with letters pay $9 at the door.

Another event that one simply cannot miss out on is Boyz in Drag, which will be hosted at Hamburger Mary’s in Long Beach on Saturday, April 26th, from 6-9pm.

According to its event page on Facebook, Boyz in Drag will be “an explosion of gags, giggles, and goosebumps.” I’m not exactly sure what that means, but it sounds quite

lady from Rosemary’s Baby). If you’ve been deprived of a good night out lately, I insist you treat yourself and bring a few pals to

Foxie Adjuia poses as Whitney Houston at a Union photo shoot earlier this year.

me started on these “ice cream socials”— gag me with a spoon! Luckily, amidst these various jog-a-thons and other hoo-has are a few fast-approaching fundraising events sure to both entertain and astonish you, all presented by the brothers of the Rho Chapter of Delta Lambda Phi at CSULB. First and foremost, at 7pm this Friday, April 25th, the Beach Auditorium is the place to be, because the fabulously named Draglicious will be taking place. Now, what exactly is Draglicious? It is a marvelous variety show that occurs annually and features members of the fraternity performing in drag. This is the show’s sixth anniversary, and along with the brothers, it has been announced that local drag queens including Sha’day Halston St. James, Ms. Luna, Calypso Jete, and Missy V will also be performing live, so expect this event to be a hoot and a half! In addition to these dazzling divas, Union favorites Robbie Osa and Foxie Adjuia (who were featured last March in the issue “Painting a Persona”) will also be entertaining the crowd, so if you

with even more drag queens, including but not limited to Madam Taj, Xena Jones, Chanel Banks, Hope Ful, Lolita Fox, and Mia Farrow (not to be mistaken with that

the Long Beach Gay & Lesbian Center and Delta Lambda Phi. If either of these events pique your interest, you can also show support by attending the Delta Lambda Phi Makeup Drive at 5pm on Wednesday, April 23rd, in Family & Consumer Sciences room 108. In light of Diversity Week, Delta Lambda Phi member Malik (AKA Foxie Adjuia) will be hosting this social event, where attendees have the opportunity to exchange makeup tips from both drag queens and sorority sisters, donate to high schools in lowincome areas, and purchase Draglicious tickets. As Bojangles Robinson would say, it’ll be completely “copacetic,” so why not pop in if you have a break in between classes?

Your coolness factor will be boosted by 76%.

And if you’re even seen attending Draglicious and Boyz in Drag, your X factor will probably shoot up, too.

Experience bravery with the Women’s Ultimate Frisbee Team Toria Denofrio, Sam McTonnell, & Ivana Monson Contributors

Ultimate Frisbee is a fairly young and often misunderstood sport. Somewhere between its conception in the ’70s and today, Ultimate has been misinterpreted as a recreational leisure activity where bearded, barefoot, hippie college students toss each other frisbees in their free time. While this is not entirely incorrect (beards are very popular in our little subculture and you may have noticed us tossing discs in our free time around campus), we are a real sport with real rules, plays, fouls, positions, and shoes—or, Just last year, ESPN signed a contract saying they will begin broadcasting Ultimate—granted, it’s on ESPN3, but it’s still technically ESPN and no one can take that away from us! Understanding Ultimate and appreciating its athleticism is vital to helping make our sport just as common as baseball, basketball, and volleyball.

Now, to the important part of this article: No Regrets. No Regrets is the CSULB Women’s Ultimate Frisbee team. We’re a small, close-knit family that shares a love for this amazing sport. Just like in any other sport, our players are dedicated, determined, and hardworking.

How else would they learn to catch a disc while diving through the air towards the ground? Or sprint and change directions to shake off a formidable defender? Or throw a disc 60+ meters to a moving target? The number of hours we clock in to build these skills and exercise our muscles is immeasurable. And having these qualities on a woman’s Ultimate Frisbee team is beneficial, but there is one innate quality that every No Regrets player has to have: Bravery.

Each year, the team gains new rookies who are willing to take a chance and give this unconventional sport the shot it deserves.

Current coach and alumna Ivana Monson the NR ladies as being “incredibly brave.”

Nearly all of the women on NR had never maybe some pseudo-version of Ultimate in PE, if that counts—but they took a risk and opened their minds and hearts to something totally new with strangers.

Furthermore, there is the unfortunate truth that being part of women’s Ultimate team means that you are constantly being

told that what you do is not a real sport.

That all those hours you practice and all those miles you’ve run mean nothing with regard to athleticism. I mean, we’re not in the Olympics, right? We’ve heard it countless times. And yet despite our teachers/peers/family telling us we should do something more worthwhile, we still sign our name on the roster. We still dedicate our time to practice at least three times a week, where we allow ourselves to mess up and look goofy as we push our bodies and minds further than anyone ever thought we could. We clear our weekends to travel the West Coast and beyond (Austin and Denver!) to go to full two-day tournaments and have the time of our lives. Why? Because it’s worth it.

Despite whatever obstacles we face, we refuse to let our passion for this sport die, and that takes an incredible strength of character.

This resilience has grown from our very

“We know how hard it is to chase down...a disk when your body is telling you it wants to collapse.” roots. No Regrets was formed after branching With only seven players, the minimum number of players required to compete, No Regrets played hour-and-a-half long games without subs, time and time again. They lost every single game. After traveling to play for two days straight, with four games on Saturday and three games the next, the team rarely scored a point. Not for lack of talent, up against teams three times their size, they couldn’t pull out the win.

In that moment, many other people would have given up. But they didn’t; and for that, the current ladies of NR are grateful.

Their determination to create a CSULB

women’s Ultimate team has given us the opportunity to join this amazing group of women, who dedicate so much of their time to train and grow into Ultimate athletes.

Over the years, the No Regrets stats have outnumber losses. NR became a threat to the Southern California Ultimate community despite our small numbers. And yet our Cinderella story isn’t over; we continue to emulate the hard work and dedication of our founders so that we can one day reach our You will often hear that Ultimate can be so much more than just a sport; it’s a lifestyle.

This is true. Through sleeping, eating, playing, studying, and working with each other, we form a strong group bond that can only be described as family. Our lives have become intertwined with one another’s and we have formed relationships that stretch outside our immediate team and into the community at large. We’re a group of ladies from all walks of life, who study art, classics, math, nursing, graphic design, and exercise science— who would have never befriended one another had it not been for this team. And now we have so much more than what we bargained for.

There’s a position in Ultimate called the dump. (Our terminology is awesome!) The dump stands behind the person with the disc and acts as a Plan B. When there is no open to her dump because she knows the dump will do everything in her power to get open and be there to complete the pass. That’s what every member of No Regrets is for each other.

We all know the challenges we face as female Ultimate players and athletes. We know how disappointing it feels to misjudge a throw on the game-winning point. We know how hard it is to chase down and catch a disc when your body is telling you it wants to tune out negative comments about the sport you love. We know that the knowledge, strength, and friendship we gain from our team is worth much more than what anyone else might think. Lastly, we know that we have a whole lot of dumps because we all have the entire team right behind us for whenever we need them, and that makes being brave a little less scary.

Take a chance, be brave, and come out to

a practice or two, and maybe you’ll realize you need No Regrets in your life. (across from the KIN building) every Monday and Wednesday 3:30pm-5:30pm and Friday 101pm, and we would love to have any lady who and join us. Practice times are changing for the fall semester, times will be posted on our website, csulbnoregrets.wordpress.com, when the fall and stop by the No Regrets booth for all the updated information.

We will be hosting community pick-up games beginning in the fall every Thursday at 5pm. Everyone is welcome regardless of skill level or gender. If you are interested in jumping in and getting a taste of Ultimate, come out Thursdays with one light and one dark colored shirt, cleats (if you have them; if not, running shoes will work!), plenty of water, and a little bit of bravery.

Athletics

Never Regret an Ultimate Life

7

9 Feature

My Brother, My Brother, and Me Cover by Rose Feduk Editor-In-Chief

Words by Connor O’Brien Marco Beltran Managing Editors

Union Weekly: How did you guys get started on the podcast together?

Justin: and I had done podcasts when we were both working at a site called Joystiq.com, doing podcasts there. sometimes. That’s how I got my feet wet with podcasting.

All three of us were listening to other podcasts at that time. I remember when Justin turned me onto You Look Nice Today , and then I sort of found my way to Jordan, Jesse, Go and a couple other podcasts that I was super into at the time. I think we all sort of decided.

J: Well the impetus was that you guys had moved to Cincinnati and we weren’t really talking very much I

Who do you turn to when you need advice? Some would say our parents, of course. They’ve been through everything that we have—prom, buying our heads stuck in a fence. They know us and how we tend to handle ourselves when working our way through a sticky situation. But for some of us our parents are, let’s face it, squares. A popular next choice in the same vein are our friends: young, rambunctious, and sometimes not too smart sometimes. They’re our support and, in some cases, the people we seek when we want someone to tell us what we want to hear.

However, there do come times when we just want to hear a stranger’s input. In asking so many questions daily, the script that our

working but I didn’t get to talk to Travis as much as I would like. I thought, hey, we the chemistry, we should do a show together, but we had to pick something super general because we didn’t have a lot of overlap in our knowledge.

G: We also didn’t have the desire to do another three dudes talking about really popular model for podcasts on the internet. So it seemed like advice was the easiest vehicle for us to do something that wasn’t that and also didn’t require extra work.

J: Right, that’s the other thing, very little pre-production requirements.

UW: How did you get into the Maximum Fun network?

G: That was weird. I was at a Trader

family and friends have prepared for us becomes routine. Predictable. Your friend Janet is always going to tell you that you just need to get more exercise, and your dad is always going to insist that you try and get in touch with your inner child. Sometimes we just want to take that shot in the dark. What would someone in Alabama think about my situation?

Someone who has never eaten a hamburger? What would three brothers on a podcast advise?

That’s where My Brother, My Brother and Me comes in. Three real-life brothers, Travis, Justin,

everyday people. What do I do when my dog eats chocolate? How do I tell want to break up with her because she smells bad?

What’s the best way to eat a pizza (experts will vouch for the tip-to-crust method, but there is a school of people who will argue for crust-to-tip). In a world wherein a question is asked and everyone you know and love around you is suddenly an expert, perhaps the best thing to do is ask a stranger. Who knows? Maybe their dog ate a pound of chocolate too?

The following is a documentation of our Skype conversation with

started an advicecast (a term pioneered by the asked them questions that forefathers of podcasting) the don’t normally receive: wherein they answer ones about themselves. questions that plague

Joe’s in Chicago, just checking my email, and there was Jesse Thorn saying, “Hey, me and my wife listened to a lot of your show on a road trip recently and I wanted to know if you wanted to join the network.” It was literally the craziest thing.

J: And actually that was the catalyst.

We had fans suggesting the show to them, and they were saying that we in a million years did I think that we’d be on Maximum Fun, it was something shocking to me.

G: We didn’t really monetize the just us. I think we sold some t-shirts, I don’t think we ever approached it as a ‘this could be your job’ idea. I think that

we always did kind of wanted it to be a part of a network. That was a dream of ours, and it’s something Jesse didn’t actually believe. I did an interview with him, I told him, “Listen dude, your ever mainlined, I would listen to every single episode, and yeah, we wanted to be on this network for a long time.” He

J: There aren’t a lot of networks that did our thing. Basically there aren’t a lot of places that would compliment what we do, and I kind of feel like we aspire to be like everybody else on Max Fun. We had some role models around.

READ MORE ON THE NEXT PAGE

10 Feature

do what you always do and don’t worry “aboutJustmaking jokes, just try and make your brothers laugh... ”

UW: the other podcasters you work with?

Travis: Well, that’s the fun thing, that every so often we get to do MaxFunCon in the summer and we go and hang out with Jordan and Jesse, and John Hodgeman. That’s how we met

surreal to me.

T: with gaps where they think punch lines should go.

G: I kind of think we are approaching an event horizon of being a more episode we recorded, Travis and I were

live show we did was in Second City with Jordan and Jesse.

I was using a RockBand mic, like, from the video game RockBand.

G: We recorded our Skype calls and just used the WAV audio. Now we each have pretty good mics and Justin has a sound mixing board. I actually installed some just to get that professional treatment going.

J: completely unlistenable.

G: Now each one of us records our audio on our own computers locally,

G: So, that wasn’t terrifying at all.

T: Yeah, we got to hang out with them.

I edit all three parts together, which can be very rewarding.

my wife attended. I said we were very nervous, since we had never done a show in front of an audience. We didn’t know how to play live. She said, “just do what you always do and don’t worry about making jokes, just try and make your brothers laugh,” and I think that is why it sounds that way because I’m not worried about people at home laughing.

I hope they do, but I’m not worried about it. I’m just trying to say something that will make my brothers laugh.

J: Yeah, we would do it regardless.

T: Sometimes we have to be careful before we hit the record button. We’d be making jokes with each other and say, “Wait, hold on, stop, we have to record this.”

UW: before recording to avoid that?

G: I signed over Rick Moranis’ name.

J: So, we’re sitting there trying to handle that and the guy who is going Telfer. I had literally just watched a YouTube video of one of his bits that day, and I was like, “oh ok so you’re just going to introduce us, yeah, absolutely that makes perfect sense.”

G: We are so distant. The three of us don’t live in a city that would be considered a comedy capital. I wish we lived in the same state. I’d love to hang out with everybody more frequently, but honestly, being a part of the network is enough for me. It’s so surreal that we are a part of this thing, and we have been a part of this for almost three years now. It is still super

UW: Is it awful to listen to your own voice so often?

J: Are you saying I have a terrible voice?

That’s cool.

UW: No, no, no! I feel like my own voice is awful and grating to listen to when I have to listen to a recording of myself.

I’d imaging listening to your own voice every week can get old. Is it ever like that for you?

G: I’ve never thought of it that way. I do listen to our voices so much on a weekly basis; I’m more uncomfortable when one of us tells a joke that just bombs. I have to listen to and relive that experience. I have those moments when we do live shows every now and then and I think, “Oh my God, if this would have happened during a live show, it would be calamitous.” I have become so intimately familiar with our voices, I can pick out which one of us is talking in a sound wave.

such that I’m busy all the time so the hour, or hour and a half a week we get to hang out and talk is really something that I look forward to.

G: I think we talk more than the average family that lives states and states away from each other because of the show. I am genuinely grateful of the show for that reason.

T: And that’s why I’m so happy when people like it. I see people on Twitter doing. It’s really nice to see people just enjoying that fun conversation I had with my brothers.

UW: spawn into weird gifts that you get from your fans?

T: Oh God, yes!

G: Are we talking about gifts or .gifs?

T: We were doing a live show that

it, we got a print out of a promotional picture I made that had our three faces on it. Somebody had crossed x’s through my eyes and Travis’ eyes

G: Something that separates our show from a lot of others is that we would probably do it if nobody else was listening.

T: It’s a very tantric experience. We live J: show in Chicago. We went back stage, I mean, backstage at Second City is crazy because everybody who has ever been in comedy ever has signed the walls of their dressing rooms.

J: We have a P.O. box because we don’t want people to know our home

and drew hearts all over the part with

G: That sounds just right.

J: These are our fans. A month later, I get a tweet from a guy that’s like, “Hey, I sent something that I bet was pretty scary, and it was supposed to be a joke, was like, “Yeeeeeeep. Yep. Good call.”

We get A LOT of Pamela Anderson/

UW: people send you edible things?

G: Justin doesn’t forward that to us.

T: He gets the pretzels, he keeps the pretzels. He gets the cereal, he keeps the cereal.

G: He’s just like, “Oh. Free pretzels.”

11 Feature

No amount of crafting or concept or market “research makes up for a lack of excitement for the topic for the show itself. ”

friendly episode that we do every year where we don’t swear. And we had to talk about sex toys on it in a clean way. Not only was that my favorite advertisement, but it’s one of my favorite things we’ve ever said out loud.

J: I’m never around, and I’m not going to ship them something else. If they want the shit, they can just move here.

Like that’s all there is to it.

UW: you eat like a homemade deal?

J: I’ll eat whatever the fuck. Like, I don’t give a shit.

UW: Like a birthday cake?

G: [Laughs] It’s transitioned into “what will Justin eat?”

J: I’ll eat anything.

T: I appreciate your amount of concern for Justin. You probably wouldn’t eat just like loose food. Like if it was just a pretzel with a stamp on it or a cookie where they wrote the address on the back of the cookie.

Nickelodeon sketch comedy show Kenan and Kel. From there we started talking about other Nickelodeon shows, and of course My Brother and Me, which was my favorite Nickelodeon television program. Then we just added another “My Brother.” I think the Google juice for the name of our show is starting to supersede the long defunct My Brother and Me brand.

J: Oh my God. I have a whole document full of ideas.

J: Another thing about our name is that it’s fundamentally un-googleable.

Google does not recognize the additional “And Brother.” It’s very long. The acronym doesn’t say or mean anything, whatsoever. It is a failure in almost every conceivable level.

G:

G: We should have gone with Kenan and

UW: What were some names before you chose My Brother, My Brother, and Me?

T: I remember a few of them. “Bro Your Own Way” was one of them.

J: Or “Bro Hard or Bro Home.”

J: “Bro Bot” was one.

T: I like that one. Let’s switch it.

T: “Honorary Brother.”

J: Okay. Let’s do it. Luckily we haven’t developed a brand.

G: Brotherly Love was one but Joey Lawrence had a program by that name and we thought they might get litigious.

Actually, do you want to know where My Brother, My Brother and Me came from?

UW: Yes! G: The way we sort of organically moved to My Brother, My Brother and Me is that I suggested the title “Kenan and

one said we could say whatever. They were like, “If you guys wanna talk about dildos all day, go for it. You can make fun of shit all day long.” We had this very successful partnership. They were fans of the show before they started advertising with us. So it worked out for the both of us.

UW: I feel like I’m hearing a lot about Stack Soap since you guys have been advertising them. I ordered some Stack Soap myself and it’s honestly the best soap.

G: I don’t think we had anything to do with their success, it’s just the best

goddamn idea ever.

G: I don’t want to pick favorites since I’ve already cashed the check, but I thing for us to talk about. I wouldn’t say that Justin, Travis, and I are how you might say “sexually liberated.”

UW: [Laughter] G: My favorite thing we ever did was the Candle Night Special. It’s like a family

G: Overall audio quality, again, is genuinely important. If you don’t have that correct, it is going to be really hard to build an audience. Pay attention to it and do what it takes to get better in any way possible because it is key.

T: No amount of crafting or concept or market research makes up for a lack of excitement for the topic for the show itself. If everyone wants to hear about “buh buh buh,” and you don’t care about it but the audience does, it’s gonna be a really shitty show. So don’t do a music show if you don’t care deeply about music. Figure out what you want to talk about and make that show.

G: I think the best thing is that you don’t do a sittin’ around, talkin’ ‘bout really hard to penetrate that already thoroughly saturated market of podcasting. A podcast that I’m starting to get int now, is a great example. It’s a new show on the Maximum Fun network that joined earlier this year that deconstructs the

T: Like Memory Palace and 99 Percent Invisible, they take one little thing telling you the story about it, and make it super interesting.

UW: What’s your favorite product to promote? You guys seem to have a lot of fun coming up with creative ways to

J: I can’t believe you just said that.

G: That’s a variation on the hit

T: That’s the thing. I love all our products, and I’m not saying that because I’m a corporate shill. It’s because we get asked if we approve of things before we sell them. We’re totally comfortable selling this

UW: What advice do you have for aspiring podcasters?

T: It’s a remarkably brilliant product.

G: And that’s a great example, we got that advertisement on the show and just thought, this is the best thing ever. We were passionate about our advertising. We thought it was genius so that’s what it ended up being. Ince again, if you don’t go check this out, you are dumb-os.

G: Yeah, do a storytelling podcast.

Oh No Ross and Carrie is another great example, they talk about pseudoscience and groups that are supernatural enthusiasts and they embed themselves into those groups and then report back on what it was like. You gotta think of an interesting idea for a show because if it’s just you sharing all the thoughts you have on some thing, that’s not a good podcast.

T: Listen to as many podcasts as you can, and absorb as much as you can to what they did really well. Be as informed as you can be about the medium.

12 Entertainment

Raiders of the Lost Art The Raid 2 surpasses its predecessor

Kevin Tran Staffer Why is no one watching The Raid 2? This movie is not only a huge improvement from the first movie; it’s simply one of the best action movies I’ve seen since The Dark Knight trilogy and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

If you read nothing else in this article, let me summarize the movie for you: The Raid 2 makes its predecessor, The Raid: Redemption, look like the trial version. By that, I mean this robust sequel has a more expansive story and The Raid: Redemption was an interesting movie in that it had a simple premise. In

and criminals. Their goal is to get rid of the drug lord, but they have to bypass the guards the building. The Raid 2 starts right where the Raid: Redemption

the same time, it still felt in the same vein order to gain the trust of the crime lord’s son, then make his way up the ranks. The movie

a multi-layered plot, which makes the main character more relatable.

The Raid 2 also improved upon the movie was shot with a handheld look that this second movie played around with shots that actually look good. There are crane shots, beautifully crafted dolly shots, and even GoPro shots for those hard-to-reach action moments.

The Raid: Redemption consistently had a monotonous color scheme, whereas The Raid 2 played around with colors, ranging from red in a restaurant scene to earthy The Raid 2

this movie, as well as a sense of getting your money’s worth.

Because The Raid 2 to an apartment complex, it has the opportunity to play around with many there is a car chase in the movie that, I must say, is one of the best car chases I’ve ever went into the making of the car chase. One shot in particular involved the camera moving out of one car, going into the next, and then entering the front left window, maneuvering inside the car, and making

style as the baptism scene in The Godfather.

The hits include a guy with a baseball bat, a girl with two hammers, and a guy with two knives. I have a particular hard-on for this type of action movie, where the bad guys They use video game–like progression to boost the movie’s badassery to 11. Like the The Raid 2 scenes that resonate like a violent ripple.

Overall, I would say, go check it out if you love action movies. I have a fetish for good action movies, and it’s hard to come by one that’s not too campy but not too

boy toy, leaving you wanting more. It’s an is happening while cars drive at 60 mph, guns unload magazine after magazine, and

of the story, the characters, and the action

There is also a particular scene that

must investigate a crime organization by

Riding the Sound Waves of Poetry Louder Than a Bomb captures the journeys of aspiring poets Camille Hove Staffer When you first see Nate Marshall walk into a room, you think, oh, just another professor. But upon talking with the charismatic gentleman, you find that he is quite funny, striking and encouraging.

Michigan, Marshall attended a high school in Chicago that allowed him to participate in the poetry slam contest Louder Than A Bomb. What is a poetry slam, you ask? It is poetry performed as the spoken word in front of an audience. Imagine your deepest thoughts blended perfectly together in rhythm and rhyme and belted out to the crowd with as much enthusiasm and emotion you can muster.

Louder Than A Bomb, directed

by Jon Siskel and Greg Jacobs follows four

one of them being Marshall. Being followed around by documentary cameras as he adventured into his last competition for Louder Than A Bomb was a very special experience for him in high school. Marshall

stopped by the police, because it was weird and it made me angry and it scared me.” he performed a handful of poems, many of which moved me. “Palindrome” was a favorite because it had so much to say but it was said backwards.

When I asked how we can be more active with our own poetry community, he advised me to connect to other clubs

and partners because poetry marries many other forms of life. It has a major cultural influence. Marshall says he began his journey into slam poetry because he wanted to have an effect on people.

“Maybe there are ways that I can use my voice...to have an impact on my community,” he said. “I want [students] to learn that the world is bigger than a poetry slam.”

While poetry may help students find their voice and become confident in public speaking and with themselves, Marshall wants to reiterate the fact that there is so much to life that poetry will help you with.

So write a poem. Perform it in front of But in a contest, remember that “the point is not the points; the point is the poetry.”

13 Music

Guilty Pleasures: Cleansing Ourselves of Musical Sin Gospel Music

Katy Perry

Alfred Pallarca Culture Editor

Roque Renteria Music Editor

Growing up in a pious household, I would be forced to listen to religious beats from the eating dinner. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but it certainly felt like it.

My brother and sister would blast 95.9, The Fish, every time they drove, while my mom would tune in to the Bible channel in the morning and Chris Tomlin’s “Our God is Your God” would inevitably become stuck in my head as we drove grumpily to school.

As much as I hate that my family cannot last 20 minutes driving without tuning to Tree63 or Kutless, and though I think it’s weird that my brother’s iPod has an abundance of Jeremy Camp, Ana Laura, and Jordin Sparks

(not a Gospel singer but still weird) on his playlist, I must admit that I do like to listen to these songs every now and then.

“How great is our God sing with me. How great is our God and all will see. How great, how great is our God” in the shower or in my room. Every now and then, without my brother or my sister’s presence, I will switch my radio to The Fish to listen to some gospel tunes to take away the boredom of driving on the 605 freeway.

I guess as much as I try to stay away from my religious upbringing, the feel good sensation some of these songs bring always somehow takes me back.

If you were to scroll through my music Everything from jazz to punk and funk to classical. In my 20-some-odd years on this planet, I’ve made it a mission of mine most complex compositions on earth. That being said, I’m only human and I do have my vices. My guilty pleasure is Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” album.

Aside from the alluring cover, this album is strangely hypnotizing and very addicting.

Modern music theory can’t explain why I’m captivated by the album. The songs’ simple melodies along with Katy Perry’s siren-like voice make this an album that I revisit at least

Smash Mouth

Peter Gabriel

Slick Willy Former President of the United States

Michael Wood Music Editor

As far as guilty pleasures go, Smash Mouth is king. In the brief period after the tech boom and before the cataclysm of 9/11, Smash Mouth embodied an epoch of tech stocks, AOL dial-up and Razor scooters. Naturally this is perfect nostalgia music, however guilty it may be. Smash Mouth is so fucking cheesy, you just have to love it. No one is immune to it. Like Ebola.

Peter Gabriel is always a guilty pleasure for me. “Sledgehammer,” “Big Time,” you name it, if it sounds like it was the intro to an incredibly '80s TV show, then Peter Gabriel probably had something to do with it.

A lot of guilty pleasures have something to do with how well a song has aged. There are some songs from the '80s that are timeless and stand up well to the test of time. The Talking Heads probably sound

convinced an entire generation of youth who bought the Shrek soundtrack that they were “All Stars.” They were believers! They looked like mini Guy Fieris. It was not uncommon to listen to “All Star” while drinking a Zima, hanging out with David Schwimmer and

answering your new Nokia cell phone with a loud obnoxious “WASSSUUPPPPP!?”

Smash Mouth was everywhere. Sports games, commercials, even Rat Race! Don’t remember Rat Race? Neither do I! But I remember the song. The special thing about Smash Mouth is that despite being so lame and so just, well, awful, it manages to be more infectious than Ebola (and twice as deadly!). Every once in a while when I put in my “Summer Jamz '98” mixtape, I’ll be “ogrecore,” characterized by Smash Mouth’s choppy guitars, empty lyrics and frosted tips.

Needless to say, I’ve seen better days.

you heard them in 1981 or 2014. But Peter Gabriel doesn’t stand up well at all. In a lot of ways, he’s the antithesis to the predominant trends in today’s music.

once a month. If you close your eyes, and try not to discern the noises in every song, it relaxes you. Kind of like meditation. I don’t let the crappy lyrics ruin my experience, instead I pretend it’s some sort of avantgarde, Vox Humana sound collage. I also believe that the “Firework” music video is partially to blame. When I bought this album (yes, sadly I payed full price), the Deluxe Edition on iTunes included some music videos. While most of the video sucked, except for the not-so-subtle innuendo, “Firework” was pretty good. I actually like that music video. Especially when Katie

His music from the '80s has funky guitars, cheesy synthesizers, a horn section and soulful backup vocals. It’s immaculately polished and in some ways, a tad mechanical and automated. Compared to a current musical environment that embraces the dirty, the lo-fi and the raw cuts, this sound is totally left behind, discarded as cheesy and described by a friend of mine as “a polished turd.”

But that’s not going to stop me from listening to it. Peter Gabriel may not have been an artistic visionary in my opinion but that’s not going to stop me from throwing on a couple infectious tracks from time to time.

14 Culture

I’m Your Biggest Fan...

I’ll Follow You Around goo goo

Tom Hiddleston

James Dean

Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

Renee Schmiedeberg Assistant Editor

Y’all know Loki, brother of the mighty Thor, and the sexy British actor who portrays him: Tom Hiddleston. I went to see The Avengers the day it came out, and I fell for him instantly.

His suave style, sexy accent, and gorgeous looks make every girl want to kneel before him (if you know what I mean). Nobody had paid attention to how amazing this man is before 2012 or so, but after his excellent performance in The Avengers, his popularity started to grow, and pretty soon every girl in the world was dying to marry him. Not only is he the nicest, most courteous human in the universe, he is a talented actor, dancer, and singer. If anyone deserves all the love in the world, it’s Mr. Hiddleston.

Nothing says “teenage disillusionment” like a hunky young man on a motorcycle with an unlit cigarette dangling out of his mouth.

James Dean did just this in Rebel Without a Cause of 1955, epitomizing the “pretty boy with an ugly problem.” Dean was certainly more walk than talk, sealing his bad-boy image through his premature death in a car crash. Still making women across America swoon over 50 years after his death, James Dean remains an American symbol of too need a couch to faint on when I see those beefy arms bulging out of that too-tight white T-shirt.

Anne Hathaway

Michael Fassbender

Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor

John Villanueva Staffer

Ever since I saw Rachel Getting Married, I have had a schoolboy crush on Anne Hathaway.

Ms. Hathaway embodies a classic type of beauty that is seldom seen in Hollywood

Picking a celebrity crush is hard, and because I can’t decide whom from Game of Thrones I choose until all but one are dead, I’ve decided to dedicate my celebrity crush to someone of a more similar background. What I’m trying to say is this person has a dick...and is Michael Fassbender. Now, I’m not happy, ever, but I would totally go happy for Michael Dat-assbender. He looks like if Christopher Plummer left Fraulein Maria for one of the Nazis in The Sound of Music and they had a totally stoic-looking baby together. How would that even happen, I don’t know, but for now, yum.

Havoc. She radiates beauty and class, which make my hormones circulate healthfully.

I was not disappointed when I saw her as Catwoman. Needless to say, my knight did a lot of rising, if you know what I mean. Long story short, mostly short, Anne Hathaway is my goddess and I would like to have lasagna with her one of these days.

Jason Segel

Margot Robbie

Molly Shannon Food Editor

Alex Berman Staffer

I fell for Jason Segel the moment I saw his adorable face in How I Met Your Mother, and I fell hard. Watching him in the beloved Freaks and Geeks series and other Judd Apatow productions only strengthened my admiration for him. Plus, not only is he

My celebrity crush, without a doubt, would have to be Margot Robbie. Some of you might know her as the “Luscious Duchess” from the movie The Wolf of Wall Street, but I simply know her as “honey.” I’ve already made her my wife, so I guess the crush part doesn’t really apply anymore. Anyway, we’ve already reenacted every sexy scene from that movie, and now she’s calling me her big, bad wolf. Sorry to all the haters and wannabes, but we’ve already been making babies for days.

wrote Forgetting Sarah Marshall and cowrote The Muppets and need him to cradle me in his arms, and we will snuggle and maybe put on some puppet shows together. Freaks fo’ life.

Marching in the Right Direction

15 Culture

Alfred Christian Pallarca Culture Editor The second annual Rally and Dyke March will be held on Friday, May 16th in Long Beach. The event will commence at 6:30pm in Bixby Park.

The goal of the march is to increase lesbian visibility within the LGBT+ community. However, the march has grown to be more inclusive of all women, regardless of labels, including bisexual and transgender women.

Althought some people might consider Denise Penn, one of the organizers of the event, said that using the term “dyke” is a way to take back the slur that was used to hurt women in the past. “[It is like] taking back the pain, similar to the way that other minority groups have ‘taken back’ labels that were originally meant to be derogatory slurs,” Penn said.

United States was held in Washington DC on April 24, 1993. More than 20,000 women attended the event.

However, during that time, the event coincided with the March on Washington

for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation. After this event, several leading cities within the US, such as New York City, Seattle, San Francisco, and Chicago, followed through with marches of their own.

Being the seventh-largest city in California and the 36th-largest city in the country—and with a large and growing LGBT+ community— it was about time for Long Beach to hold its “In 2013, some community members put their heads together and decided it was time for Long Beach to have a Dyke March,” said Penn. “[It was] the brainchild of Tami Graham and her colleagues from a local nonBeach Dyke March with Marriage Equality activist Robin Tyler leading the march.”

The first march drew several hundred women and garnered attention for significant issues such as equal pay, violence and discrimination based on gender and sexual orientation, and access to healthcare.

“Women were thrilled to have their

own protest march in Long Beach,” said Penn. “Many women spontaneously ran into the street, joining the march. It is very important to the women in the LGBT+ community because this is their opportunity to join together in solidarity and express themselves.”

Though several advances have been made for equality, women still lack visibility especially in modern media.

“Media portrayals—while improving— tend not to show LGBTQ women in everyday situations,” said Penn.

Though the march is barely on its second year, Penn said that she and the organization hope for the continuous growth of the march. They want to bring women together and give them the opportunity to protest inequalities and create visibility for the issues important to them.

WANNA BE ONE OF THESE? EDITOR APPLICATIONS ARE OUT NOW DUE MAY 2ND || CHECK LBUNION.COM FOR THE APPLICATION

16 Literature

Enchantment/Disenchantment

Leaving Laguna A Short Story by Sarina Carlilse Contributor

“The disillusioned princess of pity was stuck.”

Graduation Glasses A Short Story by Alyssa Keyne

“Over the years, the hills and palm trees things: home, a stage, work, stress, and, in the loosest terms,

17 Literature

From Bagels to John Green

Hollow City Los Angeles Times

“I also could not help but notice that this man had on an astounding pair of metallic turquoise Oxfords.”

A Short Story by Renee Schmiedeberg

Times

New York The Fault in Our Stars Times Magazine

Alaska,

Poetry Corner

Illustration by Sierra Patheal

Great Fun

A Poem by Sabina Couturier Contributor

Looking For Vlogbrothers

New York Times Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

18 Food

Burgers on the Brain Our picks of some of the best burger joints around Illustration by Jane Lu Staffer

The Habit

Glory Days

Kevin Tran Staffer

Molly Shannon Food Editor

The Habit is not only a good burger place; it’s formidable competition. And although In-NOut will always be number one in my heart, The Habit has made a pretty good attempt at toppling the almighty regime of the animal style. So why is it good? Like In-N-Out, The Habit has a simplistic menu but with a twist.

The Habit has a Charburger (charbroiled burger) and a Double-Charburger, however, they also have a Bacon Charburger, a Mushroom Swiss, and a Teriyaki Charburger, all for a very modest price. Not only that, they have sweet potato fries and onion rings.

This is what topples other burger places because these two fried goods are what I order every time I step into The Habit. The burgers themselves are pretty good, and like In-N-Out, they’re made on the spot in front of you. My rule with burger places is, if you hear the burgers sizzling on the grill, then it has to be good.

Days location in Seal Beach, I spontaneously decided to take advantage of it by making the quick drive down PCH. The location is

a vast amount of table space, and a modernlooking jukebox, I can picture students coming here for a beer and burger on a Thursday night.

Now, let’s get down to the burger itself.

This sandwich had your average condiments: lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, mustard, and a sauce that I am pretty sure was Thousand Island. But the burger itself was anything but ordinary. Charbroiled to perfection, the beef was the perfect balance of tender and hearty, and the other ingredients complimented it oh-so-well.

You simply must taste for yourself!

Umami Burger Rebecca Komathy Staffer Located in the beautiful Hermosa Beach is a burger place where one’s beefy dreams do started on one hot afternoon. I was starving.

STARVING. In that moment, I swear my stomach was going to eat itself whole if I didn’t put some form of nourishment into it, and I knew exactly where I was going, and what I was going to get.

When I entered the joint, I knew it was going to be awesome. The atmosphere was very relaxing, and the servers were super nice and attentive. I got a seat at the bar, menu, which has a wide range of classic to exotic burgers. But I went straight for it: a cold glass of water, and a Manly Burger. Yes, a Manly Burger.

It didn’t take long before the burger was placed upon a ceramic platter and delivered

you better believe it’s branded. But it’s the inside that counts. The Manly Burger

comes with a ketchup-and-mustard spread, warm beer-cheddar cheese sauce, salted and fried onion strings, and the holy grail of ingredients: large bits of bacon lardon. cheddar cheese exploded on my taste buds. and the bacon bits melted into a glorious fatty puddle between my teeth. The greasy taste was balanced with the sweetness of the ketchup along with the crunch of the onion strings, and even then, this large burger would not quit.

It took me a bit of time to take this bad boy down. When the plate was nearly empty conquered the Manly Burger and victory was damn delicious.

Overall, this place is fantastic. If you are in the mood for a turkey-and-butter-lettuce burger or an ahi tuna wasabi burger, this is the burger heaven you’ve been waiting for.

Are you ready to have your previous burger sins forgiven?

Doughnuts for Days

19 Food

Sidecar Doughnuts & Coffee Voodoo Doughnut, Portland 270 E 17th St, Costa Mesa, CA 22 SW 3rd Ave, Portland, OR Nancy Castelan Contributor or on a gluten-free diet.

I tried the vanilla twist doughnut and on a small plaza in Costa Mesa, Sidecar neighborhood residents who are looking

are lactose intolerant, free of charge. Both

their days. This small location is almost always swarmed with people on their way to work or looking for a place to hang out

the near future. So if you’re in Costa Mesa,

a variety of doughnuts to accommodate almost everyone, even those who are vegan

composed of the friendliest people you’ll ever meet, but the doughnuts are amazing and practically life-changing.

Molly Shannon Food Editor During the past spring break, some friends and I took a road trip up the West Coast all the way to Vancouver, and along the way, we made a pit stop in Portland, Oregon. I can honestly say that the majority of this tinybig city mirrored what you see in a typical episode of Portlandia. But that’s beside the point. As tourists, it was our supreme duty to visit one of the hottest foodie paradises matter—Voodoo Doughnut.

With four locations under its belt, the Voodoo name has become nationally renowned while still retaining street cred in its hometown. The line was incredibly long— anxious customers had to pace themselves until they were physically able to squeeze inside. Even without seeing the line, this joint was sort of hard to miss when walking in nauseatingly bright pinks, purples, and greens, and the insides were just as loud.

Shelves upon shelves of freshly baked doughnuts were being rolled around on metal carts behind the counter, and rotating carousels of even more delectable doughnuts stood on either side of the counter, spotlighting the precious pastries. completely overwhelmed by all of the possibilities, so I blatantly told the cashier to choose for me. She selected the “Marshall Mathers,” a plain cake doughnut with vanilla frosting and mini M&M’s, and the “Neapolitan,” which consisted of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, strawberry dust, and marshmallows.

I can’t exactly remember what happened

amounts of sugary holiness in each donut.

And I think I almost cried. All I can say for sure is that these morsels were comparable to Sidecar. And— the magic was in the hole.

Volume 74 Issue 12

Monday, April 21, 2014

LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER: Hey, God Warrior Here. Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada. Them basic bitches wear that shit, so I don’t even bother. I put that on my partner, I put that on my family. Oakland City represent, address me as your majesty. Yeah you can kiss the ring, but you can never touch the crown. Send your uncouth fanmail to 1212 Bellflower Blvd Suite 116, Long Beach, CA 90815. This page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. In Jesus’ name, I pray that you submit all of your chickens and chicken-related inquiries via email to grunion@lbunion.com.

Which McDonald’s Character Are You? your brother

Bill Nye She

Ze

Open your fortune cookie: you’re pregnant or you’re the weakest link

preggy

lig

go

Hig h jani school tor

weakest link

dd

What’s your greatest phobia?

Na’v

You want to learn a third language, you pick?

hts

ab

Jam

er

For the Love of Ray J

a

If you were cast in a reality show, what would it be?

les

na

de

You are in a Saw movie. What body part would you rather cut off?

Bad Girls Club

big

Really? Are you sure? You might need it! Go back!

Rethink your answer!

st

You just learned a new talent. What was it?

The limit.

left butt cheek

kton

Who is the sexiest character on SpongeBob?

Wanda and Cosmo appeared in your bedroom. What do you wish for?

i Regurgitating food Robophobia

rusty anchor

toe Plan

JAMAICA IS CLOSED FOR REPAIRS

#b

o lem

Pick your preferred beverage.

ica

It’s 420!

Phobophobia

rd Lo

A tortoise wanders into your bathtub.

You stab him with a lightsaber, or catch a ride to Jamaica?

TURNT

As you sweep, you daydream of being?

A potato asks for your number. Do you give it to him, or... scalloped potatoes?

sleep with him

give it up

Liar, it was Ron Stoppable.

McCulkey Culkin

sing a duet

Yu-Gi-Oh cards

Re Bl becc ac a k

Who did you lose your virginity to?

START Your worst nightmare appears in your bed. What do you do?

scalloped potatoes

Who do you consider your role model? Bill Nye or Rebecca Black?

A volcano suddenly erupts, and you can only save one person.

Who???

I’ve had enough!

Alektraphobia (Google it!)

Zapotec

A left butt cheek Plankton

McNuggets: You

Hamburglar:

Grimace: You’re

are kind of adorable and have dissociative identity disorder.

You’re sexy as hell and you don’t take no for an answer.

a fat fuck and need to become more motivated.

INSIDE

TOAD REMOVED FROM MARIO KART 8 FOR CONTROVERSIAL SHROOM SHENANIGANS

REC CENTER MISTAKENLY OFFERS “YAOI IN PRACTICE” CLASS FOR FALL SEMESTER

LOCAL ENGINEERS MAKE NEW ADVANCES IN HOW BABIES ARE MADE

PROMOTION FOR NEWEST SPIDERMAN FILM IS OUT OF CONTROL