Changing the Blueprint

Billie Jean is not my donut, she’s just a girl who thinks that I am one.

Issue 73.07

“Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Marco Beltran, Managing Editor marco.union@gmail.com Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor connor.union@gmail.com

Shereen Lisa Dudar, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Sierra Patheal, Campus Editor campus@lbunion.com Michael Wood, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Roque Renteria, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com Katie Healy, Literature Editor literature@lbunion.com Alia Sabino, Culture Editor culture@lbunion.com Molly Shannon, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Alfred Pallarca, Athletics Editor Alyssa Keyne, Athletics Editor God Warrior, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com Gabe Ferreira, Art Director gabe.union@gmail.com Brian Mark, Art Director brian.union@gmail.com Truc Nguyen, Web Manager web@lbunion.com Eddie Vee, Graphic Designer info@lbunion.com Assistant Editors: Alfred Pallarca, Alyssa Keyne, Sam Winchester.

Contributors: Joseph Phillips, Jon Bolin, Cody Eagle, Joshua Chan, Leah Sakas, Jay Jenkins, Jessica Phung, Rebecca Komathy, Alex Berman, Christopher Vickery, Jennifer Cierra, Kristen Oduca, Anna Pineda, Karen Wells, Zack Falcon, Delon Villanueva, Jacky Linares, Rebecca Komathy, Kevin Tran, Laura Palmer, DJ Selders, James Morales, Juan Gonzales, Penn Ame. Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI or CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff.

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LBUnion.com

Rose and the Green Dream Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief I’m not sure if it’s in poor taste to begin this issue by saying that I’m probably the worst affront to the worldwide “going green” movement. Sure, the technology industry probably has a pretty massive impact on the global environment, since all those fax machines, analog TVs, and cassette players that no one even knows how to use anymore are probably being soldered together to make an island for all the lepers and elderly people that we don’t want anymore.

That leaky, radioactive mountain of filth aside, I might not be too far off from a truly terrible citizen of the planet. I leave the water running when I brush my teeth, I take showers to the point where the hot water runs out, and I’ll throw out a sandwich if it’s been sitting out for a minute too long.

If a piece of paper has just a little smudge on it, it’s going in the garbage. And not the recycling bin, mind you.

Sure, I like nature and I believe that it’s preservation is important. But my free time doesn’t belong to walks in the park or hikes or alpaca farming; it belongs to the world of video games. And my most recent poison is Pikmin 3 for the Wii U.

Pikmin 3 is a game where you play as three little guys (a gal included) in space suits who control dozens of these little creatures called pikmin. The game works on a real-time strategy system in which you use the pikmin to fight monsters, solve puzzles, and collect giant fruits the size of a small house. When you’re an inch tall and hiding behind a flower for protection from a fire-breathing beetle, I’m sure you have a much better idea of the struggles of living in the thick of nature.

Luckily, I can experience the great outdoors from the safety and comfort of my own factory-made couch. Nintendo really hit it out of the park with this game in terms of graphics, since those kiwis, oranges, and strawberries really fucking look like the real thing. And with the first-person camera mode allowing me to see my virtual self running underneath ceilings of super-rendered ferns and dandelions, I never have to experience the beauty of nature anymore. With the immersivity of games rapidly improving each year, it only makes sense that one would want to ditch this dumpy planet in exchange for a shiny new one.

Moving on from that plug for Nintendo (please, if you’re reading this, send an autographed picture of Mario to editorinchief@lbunion.com), we have some exciting things this week.

Periodically we plan to have an Athletics page, put into production by our lovely assistant editors Alyssa Keyne and Alfred Pallarca. If you have an interest in writing about athletic events, clubs and organizations on campus, we now have an official outlet for it beyond shoving those articles into the Campus page whenever they’ll fit. This week is also Coming Out Week, so take a gander at the annual “Out List” showing just a small percentage of members and allies of the LGBTQI community on the CSULB campus and the list of events and activities right next to it that you should definitely consider attending.

In hopes that suggesting it will get me a nod of approval from Mother Earth, make sure to recycle this newspaper when you’re done with it. Meanwhile, I’ll be playing Pikmin 3 until the world combusts from all the carbon emissions.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

CAMPUS

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Shootin’ the Shit With the Execs

CSULB celebrates National Coming Out Week Words by DJ Selders Contributor & ASI Secretary for LGBTIQ Affairs Illustration by James Morales Staffer It’s time once again for the annual outcry of the out and proud. Hear my call, all of those in need of a little support—it’s National Coming Out Week, and you are not alone!

This year, our focus for Coming Out Week in ASI is history and change. Across campus you’ll no doubt find in the cycle of stakes and posters pieces of LGBTIQ history. From the dark times of the HIV/ AIDS plague, the turn of the tides at the Stonewall Riots (Drag Queens hit back, that’s Rule #1), and modern examples of the powerful voices in our community. I hope you’ll enjoy seeing the times that tried us, comparing them to how far we’ve progressed as a society today, and thinking about what else we can do to advance in the future.

Our campus also has its own nice little history of progress. In 1989 CSULB established its LGBT Resource Center in FO4 room 165. Why? Because it’s what the students wanted. They fought for a safe space to study, raise awareness of issues, and

even organize social events for everyone in the LGBTIQ spectrum and, of course, our allies. Since then our student run resource center has gone through various aesthetic changes, like couches and coats of paint, but the heart of it is still very much the same. It’s a hub for acceptance and a place for those with the will to work for equality and great change.

In just the past year our campus has seen some great changes that benefit the LGBTIQ community. In Spring 2013, CSULB launched its 18-unit Queer Studies minor in the Women’s Gender and Sexualty Studies department. Earlier this summer, our campus converted 12 single-occupancy restrooms into gender-neutral restrooms. Even in this last month of September we had the very first LGBT Campus Climate Committee meeting as well as Safe Zone trainings for campus faculty, staff, police officers, and, for the first time, student leaders, in order to promote a supportive and safe environment for our LGBTIQ community.

On Thursday October 17th at 6:30pm, in a collaboration between ASI, Delta Lambda Phi, Gay Straight Alliance, and the LGBT Resource Center we’ll be holding an event in the USU Ballrooms called Coming Out at the Beach. In a sort of Speed Friending style, we’d like to give students a chance to share their coming out stories with one another. If you are not out this is a great chance to be introduced to a community of people with various backgrounds and a wealth of experiences all in a safe space.

If you have any ideas on changes you would like to make on campus to support the LGBTIQ community, thoughts on what ASI can do for you, or even if you just need a handshake, a hug, and a high five, I’ll be at the event in an equality shirt that says “CSULB Supports Love” continuing to make sure it does just that.

Delta Lambda Phi

The Rho Chapter here at CSULB was founded in 1990 and today, 23 years later, continues to make its presence known in the Long Beach community. The Rho Chapter is on the rise with both the largest number of active brothers and new members in the history of the chapter. The brothers of Rho are a group of diverse individuals who are connected by the common goals of brotherhood and acceptance. Rho continues to make its mark through community service, fundraising, and social and philanthropic events.

The chapter’s current philanthropy is California Families in Focus, a non-profit organization based in Long Beach with the mission to develop and provide positive and innovative events and social service programs for youth and their families to achieve empowerment and purpose (www.cffocus.org). As the chapter grows,

so does the drive and determination to make a difference and positively impact as many people as possible. This semester, the chapter’s biggest event is Project Talent, which is a talent show that will be held on November 15th in the Beach Auditorium at 7pm. For more information, contact the Rho Chapter at facebook.com/DLPRHO.

Monday: GSA is hosting a casual parachute social on the upper quad from 10am ’til 2pm, where you can meet new people, make friends, and have fun!

Tuesday: Along with a continuation of the parachute social (same time, same place), GSA is holding a photoshoot on

Friendship Walk, where you can come out as anything you want, from an animal lover to a hairdresser.

Wednesday: There’s an LGBTIQthemed Open Mic Night at the Nugget with performances by local bands.

Thursday: Join GSA for a movie night in PSY-154 at 5pm!

A really awesome fraternity Juan Gonzalez Contributor & DLP President Delta Lambda Phi is a social fraternity for gay, bisexual and progressive men that was founded in Washington D.C. in 1986. Over the years, Delta Lambda Phi—also known as DLP—has grown and transformed into an international organization that stands by its guiding purpose of creating a safe space for all men, regardless of sexual orientation.

DLP strives to develop true lambda men who take a stand and fight for the rights and privileges of individuals in society, all while presenting a strong and positive image.

Come Out to these Events!

Delta Lambda Phi, the LGBT Resource Center, ASI, and the Gay Straight Alliance are all rallying to make Coming Out Week great. Here is a small sampling of the upcoming oncampus events...

Joseph Phillips ASI Chief of Staff The Associated Students would like to warmly welcome all of you to the seventh week of school. I’m talking about that time of the year when you give up on half of your assigned readings and question the role of the education system—how fun. Anyway, I am here to give a rundown on what ASI has been up to in the last couple of weeks: Child Development Center Supply Drive We have set up boxes throughout campus for our yearly supply drive for the on-campus Child Development Center. The Center serves the needs of student parents who desire a place that is safe and reliable to leave their kids while attending school. On the boxes are lists of what is needed, so go check one out and give for the kids!

Resource Center Banners We have begun working on ways to spread awareness of the locations of the many resource centers on campus to help students find places that may offer them the help, support and guidance they need.

The vision is that there will be a banner on the FO-4 building that will help tell you where to go.

The Long Beach Marathon We are about to have the Long Beach Marathon come to campus on Sunday, October 13th from 8-2pm. The theme this year is “Zombies,” so come check it out! We always need volunteers and help cheering on the runners, something that CSULB is known throughout the city for.

Beach Team If you are looking for a way to get involved in ASI, join Beach Team. We help directly connect you with your interest areas as well as offer many volunteer opportunities. More than just throwing mixers, we help students get involved with the radio, lobbying, as well as student government. There are also possibilities of getting to drive a golf cart around as part of your job. Meetings are every Wednesday at 5pm with varying locations. If you are interested, stop by the government office at USU 311 and sign up to get the weekly invite. If you are interested in any of the University Committees, stop by USU 311 as well.

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OPINIONS Union Weekly—7 October 2013

Beauty is Deeper Than Spray Tans You are beautiful no matter what they say Laura Palmer Contributor “Are you gonna shave these before Prom?” That’s what a male classmate said to my 17-year-old sister in second period economics last spring as he rubbed her forearms back and forth. For some unknown reason, this dickhead believed he had the right to tell my sister (while invading her personal space) that her barely noticeabl blonde arm hair was unacceptable.

My beautiful, perfect baby sister.

Another day, she came to school with a newly sunburned chest, as she had spent the weekend at the beach. “Did you get sunburned?” asked the genius next to her. My sister nodded. “It looks way better. You should get spray tans.” You see, my siblings and I all have extremely pale skin, being 100% Irish. Apparently, people think we’d look a whole lot better with some orange spray-paint slabbed all over us. I had previously thought that, nowadays, it was frowned upon to judge people by the color of their skin, but then again, I could be wrong. THIS is the point of ridiculousness that our society has reached concerning the topic of body image, particularly females’.

Along with shaving ourselves to the point of pre-pubescence and painting every inch of our bodies, we have been starving ourselves, over-exercising, and criticizing ourselves in the name of having our bodies be deemed “acceptable” by other people. But the truth is, there are certain aspects of our body that we will literally never have any control of. Ever.

These aspects include skin color, facial features, proportions of limbs, etc. (Unless, one is driven to the extreme of wanting to get surgery done.)

We set our standards unrealistically high, and I want to call a truce. This harsh criticism of body image can bring a stubborn and tough-as-shit girl like my sister down and make her feel like nothing.

To anyone reading this article: take a moment to think about your physical features that you have always felt selfconscious about. For me, it used to be my nose, my round face, and my height. You see, I don’t have the cute button-nose of an elven princess. But rather than rushing off to Dr. 90210 for some rhinoplasty, now I honestly don’t give a shit. When I look at

my nose, I can see my mom’s nose, and she is one of the strongest, hardest-working women I know. When I look at my round face, I definitely don’t see the bony, angular face or high cheekbones that runway models have, but instead I see my brother— my hilarious and independent little babyfaced brother. And whenever people used to comment on my unusually tall height, I would get embarrassed because I was reminded that I didn’t have the petite and fragile frame of most girls, but instead of bringing down my self-esteem, my height now does the opposite. I become more self-confident because I’m reminded of my dad and how I grew to be even taller than him. And isn’t that what all parents want?

For their children to surpass them in one way or another?

And speaking of inheriting traits, think about all of the millions and billions and trillions of possible ways you could have looked right now. Out of the millions of possible ways each of your body parts could look, they look the way they do because despite the billions of people in the world, your two parents found each

together and made you, and when they did make you, out of all of the DNA strands and trillions of ways they could have been put together, they were arranged to make your exact formula. You are the only you in the world, 100% unique. The freckles, bruises, stretch marks—all of these physical features are evidence that you are a human being. You have spent your days outside feeling the sun on your skin and the wind through your hair. You play sports, you rock-climb, you fight back. You grew up, and maybe you’re still growing. To quote Freaks and Geeks, “Our bodies are merely shells which conceal our heavenly souls,” and they really shouldn’t have to mean more than that.

For Fuck’s Sake, Just Recycle College Beat wants you to “dunk it” Kevin Tran Contributor So if you don’t know, College Beat Productions is doing a series of recycling Public Service Announcements called “Drink it, Dunk it, Done.” These videos range from the facts and statistics of recycling on campus to what to do and what not to do when recycling, and they also have little funny skits involving kids recycling, emphasizing the fact that “it’s so easy, even a kid can do it.” Over the course of this semester, our aim is to educate people on how recycling can make a difference and encourage students that recycling is so easy, it’s actually fun—hence the aspect of “dunking it.” Did you know that 60% of bottles and cans on this campus are not properly recycled? That’s an alarming fact that I learned from the “Drink it, Dunk it, Done” PSAs, and that’s just from one video.

And even though all of this is about being

green and being sustainable, what really matters here is that we desperately need to stop making these videos, and the only way for us to stop is for you pinheads to start recycling your bottles and cans.

You know those stupid ads in the movie theater that specifically tell you to silence your phones? Well, because of the blockheads who still go about the movies with their LCD screens opened, they’re still making those stupid ads that’re only wasting our time, and time and money from the other end. Do you know how to stop them from making these stupid ads?

It’s simple. Turn off your freaking phones.

Back to the topic at hand, it’s one thing for you to simply finish your plastic bottles and recycle them, but it’s another thing for us to make 50 Shades of Recycling videos in order to persuade you to do that very same

thing. Heck, it’s gotten to the point where our prestigious ASI Vice President, Jonathan Bolin, has to play a genie in one of the videos in order for you to get the stupid message about putting non-recyclable stuff in the recycling bins. Hell, I’m wasting precious time writing a Union Weekly article on this idiotic issue when I should be shooting idiotic movies instead.

Although these videos are for a great cause, they’re consuming our time. They’re consuming precious disk space in our office, they’re consuming our work flow, and they’re consuming our sanity as we speak. Even though we churn these videos out like bunnies, it still takes time, effort, and sometimes even money to make these videos. This pain on making these PSAs is brought to us because of the 60% of you who are suffering from recycling deficiencies.

You guys need to start recycling so College Beat can do more productive stuff in life, like make videos of cats with laser beams attached to their heads.

I’m on my hands and knees, begging you to please recycle for the love of Captain Planet. Do you know why it’s called “Drink it, Dunk it, Done”? Because that’s all there is to it. You’ve probably finished the first step, and the third step honestly isn’t really a step, so that leaves you with “dunking it.” So please, dunk it. That’s all I’m saying. We worked very hard on these videos and all we ask in return is for you to do the easy part. So easy, even a kid can do it. I also encourage you guys to watch these PSAs. Some of them are quirky, others are informative, and some are just downright silly. However, they are all done with the upmost effort, and if you can’t recycle, you can at least watch one of these PSAs.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013 OPINIONS

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If You Could Say One Thing to the World Alia Sabino Culture Editor

Jacky Linares Contributor The entirety of the population of the planet is looking expectantly to me, because I have a message I’d like to deliver. I look out at them, and the hush of conversation falls into complete silence, the crowd waits with bated breath…I straighten myself out, clear my throat, and say: “Embrace da feelz, ok?” I flip my hair, do the peace sign, and hand the microphone back to my presenter, Jesus Christ. Just like that.

I feel that most people walk around trying to protect themselves from “caring too much” or are always running low on their supply of fucks to hand out. It’s good to care, it’s good to have feelings!

And people secretly enjoy it as well, or

the delivery of cathartic experiences via television shows/movies wouldn’t be so praised. Feeling things is a sign of our humanity, and experiencing them can teach us a lot about who we are as people.

We must encourage ourselves to engage with our surroundings—to feel strongly about something—every day. Even if it’s a sudden gush of complete adoration towards the squirrels who are being all cute and stuff as they gather food for the winter, or complete utter rage towards, say, a door, because it smashed your finger and now said finger is a nice violent shade of indigo.

I have experienced both of those very strong emotions in the time span of about 30 minutes. Get on my level, world.

“Be kind to yourself and to others.

There is no room in this world for apathy.”

If there’s anything that I’ve learned in life, it’s that we are all part of a collective struggle, and we need to help each other out. To exist is to be part of this dimension that yearns, and longs, and suffers, and it’s so easy for us to retreat into our own minds, isolate ourselves and be convinced that we’re alone. This is never the case, and we need to make each other aware of that.

I’ve seen people who have become so callous to the world, and I can see how sometimes apathy seems like the only way out. Maybe you’ve been hurt too many times. Maybe people continuously let you

down. But you can’t stop caring. We are all part of the intricate web of life, and because of this interconnectedness, we are all inherently accountable for each other.

Although I will never fully understand the evils of this world, I do understand this: each of us has a light within us that we shouldn’t allow to run out. But if, unfortunately, someone’s light does flicker away, we need to be that light for him or her. Whether it’s through a smile to a stranger or reaching out to someone that’s struggling, a simple act of kindness can make all the difference.

Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor

Rebecca Komathy Contributor If a zombie attack ever graced its presence upon the campus of CSULB, and the rest of the world for that matter, this is exactly how it would go down. I would automatically stake out the pyramid.

Zombies don’t like pyramids. Why? It’s a long-dead feud that I will not get into. It’s basically mummy territory. Prospector Pete and King Walter-ankhamun have some sort of agreement or something.

Nonetheless, after I have secured the blue pyramid perimeter, I realize I need supplies to survive. I mean, this happened so fast. One moment, the girl ahead of me was ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte, the next she was biting the barista. As my means of transportation, I would then hotwire an All Campus Tripper Shuttle in order to ransack the nearby China Star and 7-11. Of course on the way, I would be discovered

and an awesome chase scene would occur in the parking structure. Only when I’m cornered by the horde of Walkers on the top floor of the structure, a hand reaches out. I look up to discover Brad Pitt leaning out of a helicopter as his golden locks swirl around his timeless face. He throws me an AK-47 and all hell breaks loose. Ack, I get bit. It is inevitable. As I go out in my blaze of glory, it begins to rain Twinkies. Then everything blacks out. When I wake back up, I am a zombie. Due to my previous vegetarian diet, the other zombies dub me the Walking Bread. Grainnnnnns. Figures.

Well on the bright side, what is the best part of the CSULB apocalypse?

There’s parking.

Let’s be blunt. We are all waiting for the zombie apocalypse to happen. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar and an evolutionary cul-de-sac. The zombie apocalypse will pit humans against humans and continue the battle between individualism and collectivism. Personally, I see myself as a hesitant organizer. Not necessarily a leader, but someone who can get people together and make moves that matter.

I would be a wanderer, but not a loner, surprisingly enough. I would create an anarchosyndicalist nomadic clan that travels from town to town, recruiting survivors and gathering supplies. I will try to preserve civilization as much as I can despite the inevitable conflicts and power struggles that would occur.

I am a cynic now, and will probably be a cynic after the zombie apocalypse, so I

wouldn’t trust anyone. Not even myself.

That is why I wouldn’t take positions of power. Here’s a fun fact: never trust anyone who wants to take a leadership role. They are evil and they have ulterior motives. Democracy would be the only way to accomplish anything. Don’t get me wrong, I would encounter a bunch of assholes. But I would maintain my sanity.

Whatever “sanity” means in the postapocalyptic world.

I bet you were expecting a bunch of stuff about killing zombies. Well, you came to the wrong place, motherfucker. All I can say is, “Bash them in the head, that seems to work.” Anyway, I didn’t focus on killing zombies because if the end came, zombies would be the least of our worries. Humans are still the deadliest creatures on earth.

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ATHLETICS

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

Sweating the Freshman 15 Away Flipping the Birdie Shereen Lisa Dudar Opinions Editor Last semester I took Badminton with three of my friends. In the beginning, I didn’t play with anyone else because a game consists of two or four players, so I had no reason to acknowledge the other students. However, my wonderful teacher made us rotate courts so that we’d meet people. Knowing other people was very important in that class; we had a name test twice, but it really wasn’t hard if you showed up to most classes.

As long as we were serving from the right place, in the right order, and in the right way, we could play without points and talk, laugh, and occasionally curse at

each other. We learned all the serves (high, low, flick, drive) and our teacher would just tell us at the beginning of class that she’d be looking for that serve that day and to try our best.

There were a couple of formal serving tests and, though I was awful at serving, the teacher catered to my incompetence and had me take my test at the end of class when almost everyone had left, which I didn’t think would make a difference, but it did. I got an A in the class because I tried and I did improve, even though I still don’t consider myself very good.

Motion of the Ocean

Just Desserts

Alfred Christian Pallarca Assistant Editor

Zack Falcon Contributer

There is something about waking up to the break of dawn, driving on a semi-lit street, feeling the cold morning breeze, and heading to the Pacific Ocean to embark on a journey with the waves.

After living in California for almost nine years, I finally decided to try out surfing here on campus. Though one could easily get a board and learn on his or her own, the motivation is sometimes not fully there to get the grind starting. However, when you actually have an instructor watching your every move in the waves and grading your attendance, you’re bound to get motivated and actually start surfing. At age 21 starting out to surf is not the easiest; your body is kind of jaded from

KIN 243C, AKA “Desert Expedition” is a lower division class offered in the the Kinesiology department. To be honest, I mistook this class for “Dessert Expedition” when I was registering for classes, but other than being disappointed by the lack of strudel, I don’t actually regret it. I’m taking it right now, and it’s super rad.

We basically learn all things “desert.”

We learned to plan trips, how to be safe out there, and just general stuff about the environment. There’s a lot to learn because the desert is a really complex place; it’s not just some prop used by Brandon Flowers!

It’s totally hot in the daytime, hot enough to knock you out, and at nighttime it can

being more daring. I am not as flexible or strong for the physical activity the sport requires. Some upper body strengthening is a must. Popping from those boards while the current is pushing gets tough.

Three weeks in, I was able to stand on my board for a good five seconds. To be honest, that was a big accomplishment. I have not been able to replicate that skill again, but hey, I’m slowly getting there! I am definitely discovering an appreciation for this sport. The calmness that the ocean brings upon you as you lay on your board on your stomach with the current rocking you is worth the costly price of the equipment.

get colder than a witch’s tit, so you need to know the area you’re in really well. So far, we’ve planned multiple trips, including ones to the Great Basin and the Mojave deserts. Last week in Joshua Tree, one of the other kids got bit by a snake, and some girl ran over and peed on him! It was hilarious, man. I don’t think she realized that rule only applies to jellyfish stings.

Because of this class, I’ve learned that the desert is a gnarly place. Right now we’re planning on a trip to Death Valley, but it’s secretly just going to be a pit stop on the way to VEGAS, BABY! I can’t wait to see our class get fucking HAMMERED, man; it’s going to be fucking awesome.

Ain’t No Mountain High ‘Nuff Alia Sabino Culture Editor One thing that causes me utmost despair is the fact that the students of CSULB are blatantly unaware of the many amazing adventure classes we have in our Kinesiology department.

In the fall of 2012, I took a backpacking class, and it was honestly one of the best experiences of my life. First and foremost, backpacking is no fucking joke. For those of you who whine like little bitches about hiking relatively level trails, try hiking on an incline for hours with 30-40 pounds on your back.

My favorite part of the trip, aside from getting lost in the woods and my professor having to send out a search and rescue mission to look for me, would definitely be when we hiked the peak of Mt. San

Jacinto (elevation of 10,800 feet and the second highest peak in SoCal) to catch the sunrise. The hike to the peak was pretty challenging for me (mostly because I had to keep up with the people in our class who were more experienced hikers), but the view was damn well worth it.

At some point during our trip, we were all staring at the night’s sky and just reveling in the wonder of it all. The sheer number of the stars was absolutely breathtaking. Our professor implored us to take a moment to realize how much beauty we take for granted on a daily basis and realize the allure of the natural world that surrounds us. And he was right, we all need start noticing these things.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

FEATURE

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Changing the Blueprint Words by Sierra Patheal Campus Editor Photos by Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

CSULB’s effort to ensure a sustainable future

If you are reading this in the USU, you are within a two minutes’ walk of the central heating and cooling plant for most of campus. That weird structure with all the brick walls and steps next to Robek’s—the one that looks like a gigantic Lego piece—is the roof of CSULB’s central plant, where giant boilers and chillers work tirelessly to heat and cool buildings across campus.

The installation of the plant—which was completed in the 1990s—reduced energy costs by $1 million per year by eliminating ineffective equipment, consolidating energy usage, and reducing peak-time energy use by way of its thermal storage tank, one of its most distinctive pieces. The tank is essentially a gigantic ice maker that extends into the hillside and stores energy in the form of ice, allowing CSULB to turn off the chillers during peak hours—when energy is most expensive—and run only on the ice that was formed the night before.

The energy sink alone holds as much thermal energy as it would take to power 200,000 homes. So if you’re sipping your latte outside the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, you’re just about on top of a freezer larger than most classrooms. And although it feels like I’ve spent half my college experience in the USU for one club meeting or another, I didn’t know the

Story continues on pages 8 and 9

central plant existed until last semester.

I have had that same experience over and over in my exploration of green energy and sustainable development at CSULB. There are awesome things going on in departments all over campus, things that are slowly but surely changing the face of energy usage at The Beach, but in part because of the determination to make green living a way of life rather than a talking point, these They are hidden gems of forethought and care, and the more I looked, the more appeared.

So I must admit that my initial goals for this feature—to present a brief but comprehensive overview of the efforts CSULB is taking to reduce its environmental impact—were not met.

There are simply too many talented, dedicated people addressing this issue for me to provide adequate coverage in three pages of text. However, I had the privilege of meeting with some of movement, who were more than willing to explain all the little pieces that make this movement so impressive. On the following pages, a few of the movers and shakers in CSULB’s sustainable developments explain ongoing efforts and invite you to get involved.

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FEATURE

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

“We don’t want to just come in, give you prizes, you save energy for a month, and then you forget about it afterward. [We want] students to change their behavior.”

My meeting with Sustain U, the ad hoc student and faculty committee behind a number of environmentally friendly improvements on campus, was a microcosm for the rest of the experiences I was soon to have while investigating CSULB’s efforts to “Go Green.” There are passionate people on this campus, and those people are getting things done.

Attendees at the meeting included Lee Johnson (Coordinator of CSULB’s Recycling Center), Scott ChristophersonSchorn (Associate Director of Facility Operations for the USU), John Haberstroh (ASI President), Jessica Corral (USU Board of Trustees Chair), and Mike Jackson (Administrative Coordinator for Student Life and Development), among others. When Lee began recapping the things Sustain U has accomplished in the past, it was immediately clear why so many movers and shakers were there.

Sustain U was formed in May 2009 to support the LEED Gold Status of the Student Recreation & Wellness Center, and since then, it has conducted the integration of a comprehensive recycling program in the USU, along with creating informational posters to accompany the bins; the posters were so popular that they are currently being shifted out with permanent educational displays. Recommendations from Sustain U have caused a number of policy decisions at CSULB, including a Climate Commitment Document signed

by F. King Alexander and a resolution with the Senate to use electronic paperwork except upon request. With the help of a generous donation from Dave Edwards, the Associate Executive Director of ASI, Sustain U was also able to fund the energyefficient, solar-powered water faucets in the USU, as well as the hydration station in the South Plaza. Currently, Sustain U is working to implement a food-waste composting project.

One of Sustain U’s major projects at the moment—a concern echoed by many of the other organizations I spoke with—is publicity. Students need to know they can come to Sustain U with environmental

projects they want to see implemented. “It’s time for students to jump back in front,” Lee stated, “to become a hub for getting things done.” Scott agreed, adding, “It’s really the students that create the energy.”

If you’re interested in attending a Sustain U meeting, just send Lee an email at lee.johnson@csulb.edu, and he’ll let you know when and where to go. If you’ve got ideas and you’re not sure where to take them, Sustain U is probably the place to start.

When it comes to sustainable energy developments at CSULB, Paul Wingco is the man to contact. The Energy and Sustainability Manager of the Physical Planning and Facilities Management (PPFM) department, Mr. Wingco handles everything from retuning existing buildings for more efficient energy usage to applying for LEED certification on new and old constructions. He is also a key founding member of CSULB’s Sustainability Task Force.

Union Weekly: So, what does the Physical Planning and Facilities Management do?

Paul Wingco: We are in charge of new construction, development, and physical planning on campus [as well as] the maintenance on a majority of campus buildings. One of the projects that our office is directly involved with is energy efficiency projects. One of the continuing ones is lighting. We have a very large campus, so it’s a continuous operation to replace existing, inefficient lights with more efficient ones. We have several other projects that have to do with heating and air conditioning, replacing equipment for more energy-efficient equipment, and we also fine-tune building operations so we can really control the way the buildings handle energy.

UW: Will those updates be going into the LA Buildings renovations?

PW: Yes. The LA buildings are getting new, efficient, LED lighting systems— we will most likely cut the energy use in lighting by 50%—and they will also

be connected to the central plant. As you know, those buildings are not air conditioned now, and that’s been the number one complaint. During the summer, they’re horrible. We’re improving heating and air conditioning in those buildings; however, we wanted to make sure we minimize the energy used for heating and air conditioning by improving the “envelope” or “shell” of the building, so we’re replacing the roof to a highperformance roof with thicker, highperformance insulation and replacing all the single-pane windows [with] doublepaned, tinted ones.

UW: Do you have any big projects in the works aside from lighting?

PW: The big project at the moment is developing the Climate Action Plan. When it’s done, it will be a comprehensive plan for the campus. It will include lighting projects, air conditioning, renewable energy and solar PV, and possibly some transportation-related initiatives, because as you know, transportation is a big part of our greenhouse gas emissions. The Climate Action Plan is due to the President’s Climate Commitment in January, so we’re working on the goals and requirements now. Once the plan is developed, we’ll move on to the implementation, which will include securing funding. We hope to start

implementing the different projects as early as 2014, but that depends on the budget.

UW: How can students get involved?

PW: Students can get involved in any of the eight task force subcommittees, all of which are open. Interested students should contact me, Paul Wingco (paul.wingco@ csulb.edu), for more information.

Leticia Martin is the Team Manager of PowerSave Campus, a group of student interns working to design and implement power-saving, environmentally friendly projects on campus. In the past, PowerSave Campus has conducted student information seminars, worked with Sustain U and the Sustainability Task Force, and organized their annual powersaving competition in the residence halls, the Mega Energy Competition.

UW: What is PowerSave Campus, exactly?

Leticia Martin: We are funded by a couple of local power companies, which set Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) for us to meet each semester in terms of Outreach, Energy Savings, Community Events, and Therm Savings. This semester, we’re working on the Mega Energy Competition, which occurs during the month of October [and focuses on the residence halls]. We’re going to compare

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

FEATURE

9

“We have helped the City grow from 100 to over 175 miles of bike lanes in three years, which has helped to dramatically increase safe bicycle commute options to and from the campus.”

our energy savings to a baseline that we’ve collected, and then we’re going to compare that saved energy to the other participating PowerSave Campuses to see who makes the largest difference.

As of this year, we’re going to start checking energy savings after the competition itself, because we want to see how much of an impact we have on students—do they keep up, or do they just do it for prizes? We want to see how much of an impact we have. We don’t want to just come in, give you prizes, you save energy for a month, and then you forget about it afterward. [We want] students to change their behavior.

UW: What would you say are the projects you’ve put on that have had the most impact?

LM: Definitely the Mega Energy Competition. Aside from that, we also do “I Heart Green Jobs”; at the job fairs, we give employers a survey, and once they fill it out, we recognize them if they have green efforts. We also give students “I Heart Green Jobs” stickers, which gives students a way to start conversations.

We’re known by the departments on campus for our Green Office Certifications, which is where we evaluate offices’ sustainable efforts and help them improve their environmental standards. If they reach certain levels, we give them a gold sticker and they get to put it with a plaque and everything—which a lot of people seem to want [laughs]. So that’s pretty cool.

We’re currently working on that for ASI and the Pyramid’s offices. Also, we’re a part of “Greening the Pyramid” this semester.

UW: How can students get involved with PowerSave Campus?

LM: Our Green Campus Club is the best way to really see what we’re about and get involved.

That free bus service you use to get from campus to Target without spending money on gas is due to Elissa Briggs Thomas and the rest of the Sustainable Transportation Department at CSULB. Ms. Thomas is the Alternative Transportation Coordinator here on campus, and she works to promote

sustainable, environmentally friendly ways of traveling to, from, and around campus.

UW: In brief, what is the main mission of the Sustainable Transportation Program at CSULB? ET: The mission of the CSULB Sustainable Transportation Program is to work within the guidelines of the South Coast Air Quality Management District to find ways to move people, goods and information in ways that meet the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs. Sustainable transportation modes include walking, bicycling, public transportation, carpooling, vanpooling, and the use of electric vehicles. The Sustainable Transportation Program works collaboratively with the University to make the campus more vibrant, walkable and bike-able, and to ensure a sustainable future.

UW: What are some of the highlights of projects that have already been completed? Which are your favorites and which have made the most impact?

ET: With so many students now choosing to take transit rather than drive alone to campus, the U-PASS is by far our most successful sustainable transportation program. The U-PASS not only offers significant parking and traffic congestion mitigation, but also serves to get an entire generation of college students into the habit of taking transit, an environmentally sustainable habit they are likely to carry with them after they graduate and enter the workforce.

CSULB Sustainable Transportation has also established successful collaborative relationships with the City of Long Beach, local bike shops, and local cycling groups to establish an award winning bicycle program. We offer free monthly Traffic Skills 101 classes, free monthly 12-point bicycle safety inspections, fix-it clinics, and CSULB discounts at local bike shops. Through our combined efforts with the City of Long Beach such as annual Bike & Pedestrian Counts, we have helped the City grow from 100 to over 175 miles of bike lanes in three

years, which has helped to dramatically increase safe bicycle commute options to and from the campus.

UW: What is the status of the Bouton Creek Bike Path?

ET: We are currently seeking funding for this unique collaborative project.

Together, a group of CSULB MBA faculty and students, the CSULB Departments of Physical Planning & Facilities Management and Parking & Transportation Services, the City of Long Beach, and the LA County Department of Public Works have agreed to work together to transform the quarter mile long, 12 foot wide service road north of the Bouton Creek flood channel into a safe, open, landscaped, well lit, paved bike path. This would provide much needed connectivity from the City’s planned Class II bike lane on Bellflower Boulevard to the local YMCA; the Whaley Park baseball fields, basketball courts, playground equipment, and community center; and student housing as well as the center of

the CSULB campus. This project will spur the transformation of a closed off, barren service road to become an environment where exercise opportunities abound and bicyclists feel safe and comfortable.

UW: How can students get involved with promoting sustainable transportation at CSULB? ET: There are many opportunities to get involved and make a difference.

Right now students have the opportunity to volunteer for our Annual Bike & Pedestrian Counts, which will help inform if and where new infrastructure for safer cycling and walking will be built in the City of Long Beach. This means more and safer cycling choices to get to and from the campus! To volunteer, students can sign up online (http://daf.csulb.edu/offices/ ppf m / p ark i ng / pro g r am / r i d e sh are / form_evolunteers.html) or call CSULB alumnus Paul VanDyk at 562-570-6675 for more information.

These are only a few of the sustainable efforts on campus; there are clubs all across CSULB and all throughout Long Beach working toward this goal. Chances are you are involved in it, too, whether you know it or not.

Do you turn the faucet off while you brush your teeth? Do you make sure the lights are off when you leave the room and wonder whether it might be better to bike to school today? Do you live in this environment—on this planet—with the rest of us? Then as Lee Johnson says, “You are already involved… So how do you want to be involved?”

asexual individuals

and allies of LGBT individuals—who are part of the diverse Cal State Long Beach community.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

MUSIC

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Recycled Music: Our Favorite Covers

Chris Colfer: The Polyphonic Nice Peter: “I Want to Hold Spree: “Like It’s Your Hand” “Lithium” Quidditch”

Social Distortion: “Ring of Fire”

Sierra Patheal Campus Editor

Delon Villanueva Contributor

Katie Healy Literature Editor

Michael Wood Music Editor

I’ll admit it—I’m a Gleek. I don’t use that word often, but I do watch each new Glee episode as soon as the Amazon notification appears in my inbox (because yes, I actually bought the season pass), and if there is one thing Glee takes pride in, it’s covering and rejuvenating other artists’ songs.

For all of that, however, Glee rarely brings an entirely new concept to a song. Even the choreography for Glee performances frequently match up with the original music videos for the songs. As much as I love watching the Glee kids dance around the screen—and as adamant a believer as I am that all songs can be improved by Lea Michelle’s voice—I can still recognize that the songs are usually poppy, Kidz Bop-esque renditions of the original songs.

For the last two weeks, though, Glee has been covering The Beatles, and this rush of Beatlemania has led me to go back and rewatch one of my favorites from the series: Season 2’s rendition of “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” Sung by Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer) after his father is hospitalized for a heart attack, the song evokes an entirely different feeling than the original. The Beatles’ version, of course, is a happy, bouncy love song (that also has a special place in my heart due to its inclusion in David Levithan’s Nick and Norah’s Ultimate Playlist). The Glee version, on the other hand, is heartbreaking. Slowed down and stripped to its core, it’s the kind of song that brings tears to my eyes even though the onscreen drama is already three seasons old. For a cover of a song geared toward the cotton-candy-and-butterflies initial portion of a relationship, that’s powerful.

Lyrically, “Lithium” is a very melancholy, self-loathing piece of music about a man contemplating suicide, but then finding purpose through religion.

The original composition, written by Kurt Cobain, perfectly epitomizes the wave of grunge rock in the early 90s with its gruff vocals, aggressive guitar riffs, and most of all, its powerfully raw emotion. On paper, “Lithium” may seem like a typical alternative rock track that you would hear today, but it was because of this song and many other Nirvana singles that most modern rock bands sound the way that they do. Although it wasn’t Nirvana’s biggest hit while they were still active, it’s become one of their classics and continues to get plenty of radio airplay on alternative rock stations today.

On the other hand, the Polyphonic Spree rendition takes Cobain’s song and turns it on its head. Instead of melancholy and self-loathing, we get uplifting and scarily cheerful. Instead of the sounds of a loud garage rock band, we get a jolly choir, led by the Polyphonic Spree’s lead singer, Tim DeLaughter. The choices of instruments in this cover are absolutely brilliant, countering every sound from the original song. The cover does a lovely job of utilizing the piano, the harp, trumpets, and various other instruments for a Nirvana song, of all things. The Polyphonic Spree seriously has made one of the most ironic covers ever, and I love everything about it.

A nimbus 2000 is way cooler than, like, a G6. The Far East Movement’s song “Like a G6” was covered and parodied with the Harry Potter themed “Like It’s Quidditch”, which kept with the original song’s party-a-holic theme and grinding dance club beat. Only, instead of talking about getting drunk normally, “Like It’s Qudditch” talks about getting drunk with Muggles, flying on brooms, and drinking pumpkin juice.

I personally enjoy the parody much more than the original because the music quality is just as good, if not better, and the singing, or fancy-pants chanting, is controlled and charismatic at once. So when it comes to musical talent, they’re on equal planes (pun intended).

But what makes “Like It’s Quidditch” so much better than “Like a G6” is the artistic subject matter. There are plenty of party-grinding songs on the market even when you look at Ke$ha or Lady Gaga alone, much less the rest of the industry, but high quality party-rockin’ Harry Potter songs? Not quite as much.

Plus they have a pretty neat music video that takes place the day of the Deathly Hallows midnight premier.

And they make fun of Twi-hards at the end of the video. Spoiler Alert!

The guys in Social Distortion are the absolute kings of cow-punk. With that trademark rockabilly and punk sound, originating right here in our backyard (Fullerton to be exact), it seems as if they’re singlehandedly responsible for keeping rockabilly alive in this town.

Nothing is stronger evidence of this than their cover of “Ring Of Fire” that, dare I say, exceeds the work of the king of country himself, Johnny Cash.

Mike Ness sings from the heart, like all the greats before him. He shares a more striking resemblance with Buck Owens musically than he does with Johnny Rotten or Joey Ramone, and that is in large part why this works. Beneath the fast and distorted guitars and aggressive vocals, a lot of punk music is built on the same foundation as country. Some may dispute it but I have to say, playing three chords and singing the truth will always be a tried and true format for musical creation and some of the most memorable works in our collective memories share that format (Ever heard of Bob Dylan?).

In this cover, Social Distortion definitely appeals to that common musical trope and tells the trumpets and backup vocalists to take a hike. Without pretension, stripped down and at its rawest, this song is more amazing than the oh so recognizable version you might catch in a hemorrhoid cream ad on TV. This cover serves the purpose that a lot of covers aspire to but fail to. It doesn’t change the song, it gets to the core of a song that was overproduced and overdone the first time around and shows the world its true potential and beauty.

We all deserve a second chance, don’t we?

12

ENTERTAINMENT

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

Arrested Development Season 4 Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor I like television. It’s a cheap, affordable way to receive entertainment. In recent years, many critics have argued that the situation comedy has died. If you judge the state of television on CBS’ and NBC’s comedy lineup, then yes. I completely agree with the critics. God, 2 Broke Girls is such a piece of shit. Whitney as well. Fuck those shows. However, believe it or not,

(UK) Complete Series Lou Skant Union Staffer The Office (US) is over or it is going to end. I don’t know. I stopped watching after the fourth season. Once shows overstay their welcome, it is hard for me to continue watching. One of the worst things that can happen to a great show is a multi-season contract (SEE Eastbound and Down). I think a show that is short and sweet is all you really need. Well, except maybe love.

Love is all you need. Mindfart aside, I

Louie Season 3 Michael Wood Music Editor Rarely does a television series excel on so many fronts. If you’ve been living under a rock for the past several years, Louie has dominated the world of sitcoms in the same way that Breaking Bad has ruled the world of dramas. It’s critically acclaimed, it’s somewhat artsy and yes, it’s even funny.

For a person unfamiliar with the personality of Louis CK and his show, it’s a bit hard to describe, but I will try. Usually his pieces take the form of short vignettes, each with a particular feel and self-

there was a time when TV was actually witty and intelligent and didn’t require a laugh track in order to prod the bovinelike audience into laughing. During this time, a great situation comedy emerged, known as Arrested Development.

Arguably, Arrested Development is the greatest thing to happen to civilization since polio vaccines (kids, don’t forget to buy your Polio Pops! Available at the Union Weekly office near Michael Wood’s [SEE BELOW] desk) or extra medium condoms (finally, a comfortable fit for yours truly) or the advent of the PS Triple (PlayStation 3, as you unhip Philistines refer to it by). Despite its awesome reviews and critical praise, FOX decided to cancel the show. For some reason, audiences don’t like well written and intelligent shows.

They much prefer exhausted formulaic programs that stimulate genitalia rather than

the mind. C’est la vie.

Luckily, the good people on Netflix heard my cries of despair and brought back Arrested Development for another season. And on my birthday. True story.

Season 4 takes place after the events of season 3 and serves as a prequel to the new Arrested Development film soon to be released. The Bluth family is all there and back to their normal family dysfunction.

Fans of the show will be pleased. And I’m pretty certain that new viewers who are willing to watch the first three seasons will enjoy the Bluth dynamic. It is truly an underappreciated show that received the second chance that it deserved. I highly recommend this to anyone who has an affinity for memorable characters and subtle laughs.

have some good news. Did you know that The Office (US) was a remake of a much funnier British version? Well, you do now.

Ricky Gervais wrote, directed, and starred in the original series. He plays David Brent, which is Michael Scott’s counterpart. One thing I really enjoy about the British version is that the players have a better deadpan delivery. The British might not be good looking, they may not be good chefs, they arguably have poorer dental hygiene (according to research conducted that may not be true, but I’m still going to include it); however, you cannot deny the fact that the British have a wittier and darker sense of humor than us ’muricans. ’Muricans are too optimistic.

I respect the British because they all have inferiority complexes. We can all take a page from their book and make our fat,

cellulite-laden asses more humble.

Anyway, all the same characters are present in the British version that are found in the American version; the only difference is that the British version only lasted two seasons, so the characters don’t get annoying. You get enough exposure to the characters and their hijinks that you build an emotional attachment, but you are also glad the show ends where it does, because it satisfies you when it ends on a high note.

Kind of like the Sex Pistols. Another group of British geniuses. So check it out if you haven’t already, ya dingus.

contained plot that doesn’t tend to affect other elements in his life. But this season, he tried his hand at a more conventional concept: large, over-arching plot arcs that shape the mood and events of an entire season. Though it was a complete departure from the previous style of the show, he pulled it off perfectly, without changing his trademark style one bit. With a plot arc involving one of his first real romances of the series and another dealing with his “big break” in show business— being offered the chance to take over the Late Show from David Letterman— it’s almost necessary to marathon these episodes in quick succession to get the full value of these stories.

Throughout the season, we see Louie develop, as is rare for sitcom stars. The familiar sad sack who couldn’t talk to

women at all, avoided confrontation at every turn, and was more likely to find himself binging on Häagan Dazs and pizza than attempting to improve his life is now a prouder man. In the course of this season, he comes out of his shell, finds love, and refuses to submit to his former default “woe is me” attitude.

When watched as a whole, the series shows Louie CK grow. He goes from awkward unease to desperation to inspiration in the course of the 3 seasons and is just completely and utterly hilarious the whole way through. That there takes talent. No one but the comic laureate of our generation could pull a show like this off.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

Yes, I’m on Medication And no, I’m not ashamed of it As I was curled up in bed for the 5th day in a row, having skipped all my classes for an entire week, overwhelmed by sadness I could not define nor comprehend, I realized that something was definitely wrong. To fully describe what I was going through, here’s a journal entry that I wrote during this trying time: “I wake up in my own filth with food crumbs all over my bed, with a body so heavy that getting up to brush my teeth seems like an impossible feat. The blinds of my room are closed day in and day out, throughout my 16 hours of sleep every night and throughout my repeated absences from all my classes, because I seem to have become allergic to sunlight and anything remotely resembling happiness. Incessant thoughts of ending my life consume me and my search engines are starting to fill itself with topics like ‘painless ways to kill yourself.’ My bed has become my personal cave of darkness. As much as I hate this cave, and I really do loathe it with all my heart, I have nothing left in me to get out of it. I’m stuck. The inner torment has seemed to seep into my nerves, paralyzing me and leaving me motionless. Before I know it, the day is done, and I pray to the high heavens that it will all be over, that I’d fall into the oblivion of not having to feel.

But it never works. I’ll wake up again the next day, faced with the immediate dread of this relentless suffering.”

After the realization that I gravely needed help, I set up an appointment with my counselor at CAPS (Counseling and Psychological Services). She told me, her face brimming with concern, that she recommended I see a psychiatrist.

Apparently, what I was experiencing was no

longer “the blues.” She said that I was most probably undergoing clinical depression.

Long story short, my psychiatrist told me that everything I described to her were all red flags of clinical depression, and that I should start taking anti-depressants.

I remember this moment quite vividly, because this was the moment I realized how much stigma is associated with taking medication. What will my friends and family say? Will they start treating me differently? Will they start calling me the “crazy one”?

All of my life, the telltale signs of my depression were there (the weird cycles when I’d fall into an abyss of darkness for no apparent reason), but I was in denial about what I was going through. I allowed myself to believe that I was just “extremely moody.” Thing is, I always managed to pick myself back up, but this time it was different. It terrified me how helpless I felt.

I’ve been on medication for about nine months now, and honestly, I cannot be more thankful for it. It has definitely turned my life around for the better. No longer does a dark cloud follow me wherever I go.

No longer do I need to put up a happy front of others while the inner turmoil is silently eating away at my soul. I can now channel my energy into actually living and doing things I’m passionate about, rather than being consumed by the mere act of coping.

After living through this depression for so long and finally getting the treatment I desperately needed, I realized that going through depression (or any type of mental illness for that matter) really is no way to live. It pains me to think that there are still so many people that are going through these conditions and are hesitant to get

help due to the stigma associated with it.

So here is my plea to you. First and foremost, don’t be ignorant. Educate yourself about mental illness and realize how prevalent it is. Understand that one out of four adults in the United States will be affected by a mental illness at some point in their lives.

Second, if you feel that you need help or you know someone that needs help, if there are things that are going on that don’t seem normal (like the extreme anxiety that comes with PTSD or the manic episodes of bipolar disorder) then take the first step to get the help needed for yourself or someone else.

The first step to getting help is accepting that there is something wrong. Once you’re past this stage, things get a lot easier. Also realize that even if you feel alone, or feel like it’s something you’re going through by yourself, know that there are people out there that care and will understand. Reach out to a friend, a family member, or a

How To Find God Let us first begin by talking about how not to find god. Often we are raised into our religion, constantly told that there is a specific god to whom we should bow down to. And since this is all we have ever heard, we become brainwashed to believe that a certain god is true. Even as we mature and start to lead our own lives and think for ourselves, there are still those who are inclined to convince us that a particular god is real.

Even people you highly respect and possibly believe in (up until now at least) will try to persuade you with their ideas of the truth of divinity. But the first step of how NOT to find god is to listen to any of these people. Yes, yes,

I know I’m being quite hypocritical and contradictory right now, but stay with me.

All of the aforementioned people are by no means perfect, nor do they have some divine connection to the heavens. They don’t know everything and may likely be preaching deceit. And yes, I know I am human too (or am I?!), which would incline you to not believe me. But my point is that other people cannot find god for you. So, if you don’t want to find god, then by all means listen to everyone else and take their words for it.

Another way NOT to find god is to mistake coincidence for divinity.

Let me say this twice because it is very important. Do not mistake coincidence

CULTURE

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Alia Sabino Culture Editor

school counselor.

It’s time to stop the stigma so those who need help can get proper treatment to change their lives for the better. For someone that’s diabetic, you would not treat them differently for taking insulin, so what’s the difference? With someone that has a mental illness (whether schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, or an anxiety disorder) there is something physiologically off with the brain, such as not producing enough serotonin or dopamine. But unlike diseases like diabetes and heart disease, mental illnesses manifest themselves more in psychological than physical forms.

So yes, I’m on medication, and again, NO, I am not ashamed of it. I know it doesn’t define who I am. If anything it forced me to look inside myself and realize the unbreakable strength within me. It made me realize that there are people out there who truly care, and that no matter what I’m going through, I am never alone.

Penn Ame Contributor

for divinity. If many people in the past would have taken these words to heart, much of history would be changed for the better (although that’s highly arguable).

Oftentimes someone will see something bizarre happen, like a leaf balancing on a chair or what have you, and consider it divine. When fateful situations occur, people tend to attribute them to a higher power when it could have merely been coincidence. Others see humans quickly recover from some injury or sickness and call it a miracle when it was plain old good luck. This way of thinking will not lead you anywhere near god.

So now you wonder about the question that began this rambling, “How do I find

god?” I’ve talked so much about how not to find god, but in no way have I ever told you exactly how to find god. And my answer is...I don’t know. Okay, I know you’re mad at me now for leading you on. I know how I can find god but how you find god is something completely up to you, and quite honestly, is in an area outside of my intelligence. Only you know how you can find god, and I can’t tell you how. And what’s most surprising (I hope this doesn’t discredit me too much) is that I don’t even believe in god. But now you must go out and find god for yourself, and find for yourself if god is even there.

14

LITERATURE

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

Aristocratic Complication Honoring The Recently Published Novella of a Current CSULB Student— You Go Girl!

Alyssa Keyne Assistant Editor Jennifer Cierra’s newest novella, Beyond Clockwork, details the life of Ian, a sentient, life-sized wooden doll who lives in toy shoppe in a clocktower with many other life-like toys and his forcibly sequestered master, Terrin Shore. Ian’s life is not made easy by the fact that he is deeply in love with his artistic and rebellious master, who only seems to return his affections on lonely nights when he invites Ian up to his room high above the workshop. Terrin gave Ian the same face as Christiansen, a gruff, surly, older man who threatens Terrin, steals from the wealthy, and organizes rebellions for a living.

Besides being Terrin’s replacement squeeze when Christiansen is away, Ian works to run the shoppe with his perky, porcelain friend, Marydoll. Their lives become more complicated when a new

customer puts an order in for an assassin, and the home of Duchess Alia, the city’s adored four-year-old aristocrat, is set on fire. As unrest evolves into violence in the city of the Young Queens, Ian faces the decision of making the ultimate sacrifice for the man he loves.

Cierra’s novella is filled with action and detail, which makes it hard to turn away. As a new reader to gay fantasy, it was refreshing to read about romance from a different perspective. If anything, I would say that I wish the novella was longer, so that the politics and rebellious communities of Ian’s world could be completely explained.

However, I cannot complain about the work’s fast pace, which always kept me glued to each page. The strong personalities in the story make it an enjoyable read, as both Ian and Terrin express complex

emotions and thoughts that are not entirely predictable. Ian in particular demonstrates both weaknesses and strengths and does not let his love become the dominating tone of his narration.

Of course, this is a book for adults, so there is some harsh language, which makes reading it all the more fun. I was not familiar with encountering adult themes in fantasy books before I read this, so this (new to me) aspect made me giggle.

The sexual content in the book is kept to a minimum with only some suggestive imagery at the end. If you’re looking for a quick escape for an evening, I recommend reading this new, carefully crafted novella. You may purchase it online at jennifercierra.com.

Hangman’s Forest Alia Sabino Culture Editor I step into the forest and feel an immediate sense of dread rush through me.

The trees are so dense that the entire forest is consumed by darkness. It almost seems as if I have stepped into the night. Signs around me are telling me Think of your family and Your life is important. This is exactly what my research made me expect.

Quite abruptly, I realize the danger I’m in. “Why are you doing this?” I ask myself.

I look back on the night I discovered this place online and how compelled I was to see it. Aokigahara Forest, Japan. Over 500 suicides since the 1950s.

I’ve always been fascinated by things morbid, but no, this was taking it too far. I need to go back. But I can’t. I feel trapped, paralyzed in my own footsteps. I look around and I notice the rotting corpses, the decaying bones of those who decided that life was no longer worth the fight. I can feel

the breathing of the forest bearing down on me. Suddenly, a pain so tremendous I barely have the time to clutch my chest.

A thousand knives are searing through my soul. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. All I want is for it to end. All I want is death.

In my delirium, I notice a rope dangling on the branch of a tree next to me. I climb it frantically and wrap the rope snugly around my neck. I welcome this escape. Right as I’m about to step off, a gleaming image of my little brother forms in my head. “You can’t do this to him. He’s too young,” I beg myself. I feel the branch beneath me starting to give. Snap.

Moments later I wake up, cold and shivering, on the edge of the forest. An old Japanese man is bent over trying to feed me some water. “You’re lucky,” he whispers.

Union Weekly—7 October 2013

FOOD

15

Weighing Yourself Down How a diet-obsessed lifestyle can drive you crazy Karen Wells Contributor

Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief Did you know 80% of your diet and exercise regimen should be dieting while only 20% is the actual calorie-fuckingburning, pain, and suffering of exercise?

Well, this is a short telling of what it is like to be a 5’3”, 158-pound college student who flipped these statistics around and ruined her body and self-esteem forever.

In middle school, I was incredibly influenced by the indie and pop-rock groups emerging from their comfort zones and looking sexy and thrilled with their careers, and I wanted to emulate them as accurately as possible. First, I needed to look the part, so I dieted. I tried the good ol’ vegetarian diet, but after only eight months my mom decided to make my favorite tamales and I was torn. Then I gained 10 pounds. That was the end of that era.

In high school I did not experiment with drugs and alcohol like some of my friends did, but instead, I was desperately trying to

Leftover Do-Over Recycle what’s already in the fridge Roque Renteria Entertainment Editor I don’t usually cook. That shit sucks.

Not the food, the actual action. Usually, I just go out to a restaurant, because I get a strange erection every time I see someone cooking a meal for me. If I can’t finish my meal (both the culinary and visual), I take it home and save it for later.

If you’re like me, which you are not because I am awesome and you are pathetic, you get tired of eating the same shit over and over again. You want various flavors. You want variety. That is why I like to take my leftovers and spice them up a bit.

Because I’m feeling generous, I will provide you with some examples that you can try.

And if you don’t try them, then fuck off.

I love spaghetti. I love spaghetti so much that I don’t like it to go to waste.

Here’s a recipe you can make with some leftover spaghetti and other stuff. It’s called the Spaghetti Sandwich. Take the spaghetti that was left over and add spices.

Add garlic and basil, amongst other stuff, to give it a kick. If it has been in the fridge for a couple hours, it may not be as fresh or pristine. After that is done, grab half a loaf of French bread. Grab a butter knife and butter, and start spreading the butter

over the loaf. Then, add some garlic or other spices to the butter and coat the bread with another layer of butter. Bake in a bake-friendly pan. Once golden, take the bread out. Microwave the spaghetti for about 30 seconds. Grab the heated spaghetti with tongs and place in between bread. Let cool and enjoy.

Another recipe I enjoy making involves steak. Grab a steak that you have leftover and get some Lawry seasoning and barbeque sauce. Find some onions, peel ’em, and grill ’em. Pour some cooking oil on a pan, then re-grill the steak along with the onions, and leave the onions on there until it browns. After the shit is done, pour some barbeque sauce on the motherfucker. Once the thing that fucked the mother is drenched in barbeque sauce, place the stuff in between sammich bread of yer choosin’. Personally I prefer French bread, but whatever shitty-ass bread you have lying around will do. Bon appetit, motherfucker.

There you go. That is one way to beautify your boring leftovers. I know I said I would include recipes, but I’m tired.

So, that’s all I have to offer.

finding ways to lose 30 pounds in 30 days.

One time, I lost 20 pounds in a month or two by eating less than 1,200 calories a day, which was certainly not the best idea, but nevertheless I gained it back a year later from the holiday season. Plus, Friday night club meetings at my friend’s house consisted of watching movies, eating pizza, and napping on floor, so that didn’t help.

Next, I read about the “no red meat” diet, so I thought I would give it a try.

Perfection! My weight stayed constant for a year and a half. It was the most aweinspiring feeling until a minor interruption arose; Doritos Locos Tacos! Trust me, I think I shed a couple of tears of joy after every bite and I simultaneously cried because I had failed myself once again.

On another note, one should not read “thin-spiration” and body positivity blogs because those can fuck you up.

What all these blogs, are doing is showing

you two extremes of horrible dieting lifestyles. Nowadays, I eat what I want, but unfortunately I gained 20 more pounds since I first started college two years ago. To fix this problem, I am trying to refrain from red meat and junk food as much as possible. Also I’m trying to run four miles a week in order to successfully lose the 20 pounds I gained from stresseating during long study hours. The path to the perfect, balanced diet continues!

Just exercise moderately, eat as healthy as you possibly can, and make room for junk food Fridays. Do what makes you happy! What makes me happy is seeing that I live a fulfilling, healthy lifestyle.

Remember this when you plan your meals, but if someone still has the guts to criticize your eating habits, just hope they choke on something at their next meal.

Volume 73 Issue 7 DISCLAIMER: Hey, God Warrior Here. My heart stops when you put in. Just one inch. Now baby, I believe. This is big. So take a chance and don’t ever bareback. I used to bite my lip and spread my legs. Scared to fuck my man and make a mess. So I fucked quietly, fucked politely. Send me noodz to 1212 Bellflower Blvd Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815. This page is satire and I do not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus, y’all amphibians. In Ke$ha’s name, I pray you submit articles via email to grunion@lbunion.com.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Scientist Suggests Listening to the Lizard Overlords Let’s be honest, the illuminati controls everything. Even this paper.

All the time you’ve spent on the internet writing Ron Paul propaganda has now been validated. Think about it. Never seen any of them

by Christopher celebs sleeping or using the Weave bathroom. When was the last time you saw a celebrity doing something as simple as making a sandwich? Never.

The government wants to pacify the future societies of America to fall in line like a couple of dominos so they can just knock us over whenever they see fit and I think it’s just great!

Now that we’ve acknowledged the reptilians as our lords, we should also inform you of which celebrities or prominent figures are human lizard hybrids. Some are obvious, some were a little harder to detect, but like a Where’s Waldo book you right-winged geniuses finally figured it out and discovered who’s in and who was licensed to ill(uminati).

Daniel Radcliffe

Los Tigres Del Norte

Dean Gayer

Yer a lizard, Harry. This is the one situation where the person that looks like lizard actually is a lizard. He goes to school for Witchcraft and Lizardry. The Sorting Hat originally wanted to place him on Slytherin.

Believe it or not, Mexico’s numero uno narco corrido band is part of the illuminati.

Their mullets were designed by former Nazi scientists in order to hypnotize the unsuspecting Mexican public. The suspecting ones were totally immune.

The goal was to have illegal Mexicans

out. Have you ever seen a lizard and Daniel in the same movie? Of course not, because he is too cowardly to compete with other lizards. His climbing skills are not advanced enough because all his youth he was shoving that damn broomstick up his, you know the rest. You know J.K. Rowling’s unpublished eighth book, Harry Potter and the Cold Blood Prince, never made it to the movies, because the Illuminati lizards put a halt to it.

LBUNION.COM

communities in California. Unsuspecting white people were unaware and the ones that suspected something didn’t care as long as their lawns were well-kempt.

These hypnotic hombres honed their high hispanic heritage and hated the homes of homosexuals, homie. I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense. I just love alliteration.

I know you’re a snake, Brody Weston. that’s what you are. I should have known what you were the moment I saw you; no one gets that pretty naturally. Either you’ve had your entire body remade under the plastic surgeon’s knife, or you’re a reptile in a magically fake human skin, and because the latter is less repulsive than the former, I’m going with that.

Even your Wikipedia page supports it. It says your name is Dean Geyer and you’re just pretending to be Brody Weston when you show up onscreen. If that doesn’t say snake, I don’t know what does.

Eggplant This eggplant is FER-SURE a lizard.

Just look at it. Fresh, scaly skin, piercing yellow eyes, and a worm-like tail, this eggplant should rather be named a came out (literally) and it scratched my face and now I have eggplant parmesanface because before people used to call me lasagna-face, but now, because the eggplant is on my face, I am now eggplant parmesan. surely shows its scaly skin and starts to shed like a lizard! Coincidence? I don’t think so.

The purple is not fooling anybody bro! We will chop off your backside, and let’s see if your tail will grow back!

LIz Look InSIDE

“YOU’RE RUINING MEAT! YOU DON’T FUCKING CONTROL ME. YOU’RE NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER,” COW MOOS

REBA ACKNOWLEDGES SPANISH ROOTS ¡ÁNDELE! ¡ÁNDELE! ¡AH REBA! ¡AH REBA!

LOCAL DOG GETS HIS DUNGIES LOOKING AT DOG-FACED GIRL HE THINKS IS A DOG