Censorship Hits Campus by Union Weekly

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“We’re good at going deep.”

INTRO

Issue 79.1

Me , Union Weekly Editor-In-Chief

Alejandro Ramos, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@lbunion.com Bailey Mount, Managing Editor manager@lbunion.com Nathan Zankich, Web Manager web@lbunion.com Alexis Cruz, Social Media Manager Andrew Linde, Multimedia Manager Allison Meyer, Multimedia Assistant ART & DESIGN Sam Orihuela, Art Director artdirector@lbunion.com John Mueller, Graphics Illustrator illustration@lbunion.com

EDITORIAL Matthew Gozzip, Athletics Editor athletics@lbunion.com Sylvana Uribe, Community Editor community@lbunion.com Amanda Del Cid, Community Editor community@lbunion.com Sheila Sadr, Copy Editor

Madison Gallegos, Culture Editor madison@lbunion.com

Hablamos con Ramos

Peter R. Clark, Entertainment Editor entertainment@lbunion.com

Alex Ramos Editor-In-Chief

Amanda Dominguez-Chio, Culture Editor amanda@lbunion.com

Zach Phelps, Food Editor food@lbunion.com Grim Fandango, Grunion Editor grunion@lbunion.com Kaila-Marie Hardaway, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Elliott Gatica, Music Editor music@lbunion.com Jordan Daniels, Opinions Editor opinions@lbunion.com Mario Lopez, Travel Editor travel@lbunion.com STAFF WRITERS Martha Quijano, martha@lbunion.com Karrie Comfort, karrie@lbunion.com CONTRIBUTORS Emily Ayers, R. Ray Robinson, Rachel Haering, Luke Ramirez, Ross Siev

COVER DESIGN BY: Sam Orihuela FEATURE DESIGN BY: Sam Orihuela CONTACT US Snail Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd. Suite 116 Long Beach, CA 90815 Phone: 562.985.4867 E-mail: lbunion.info@gmail.com Classifieds: classifieds.lbunion@gmail.com

@UnionWeekly

What up, young people! It’s the end of week 4! Congratulations on making it this far. We’re now a quarter of the way through the semester, which is both calming and terrifying. Calming because it’ll be over soon enough. Terrifying because we’ll have to go through midterms and finals before that. Either way, we’re that much closer to sweet, sweet relief. And relief is what I need right now. I came down with a head cold towards the end of the week and I haven’t had a chance to get the rest I need. As a result, I’ve been lounging around and doing my best to make myself useful for the past couple of days. Meanwhile, it seems like everyone around me had productive weeks while I struggled to keep it together. For starters, we have a new look going on, courtesy of our art director Sam Orihuela. Her goal was to have the paper be cohesive and consistent through each page. I think this update is going to make that happen.

A sick and weakened Alex tries his best to look cool.

Personally, I love it. Just look at this intro page. It looks so clean! And look, we have a quote of the week at the top! Besides that, we’re working on our new site through Medium. If you haven’t had a chance to look at it, you should cause we’re

going to update it with exclusive content that you won’t get in our print edition. You’ll get the first of that this week with some coverage of Long Beach Comic Con from Yung Bailey and Podcaster Andrew. Lastly, the feature. It’s the biggest story of the week and it can be a daunting task to take on. This week’s feature is brought to us by Matthew Gozzip, our Athletics editor. The poor guy slept in the office to make sure he got it right. The good thing is that I can confidently say he did. This is going to be one of the best features of this semester and it’s definitely going to be worth the read. So, go forth! Enjoy this issue that you have in your hands then go read our stuff online. Go, go, go! P.S. Shout out to our illustrator John for drawing that picture of me looking tougher than I really am. It saved me from having to think and write more than I wanted to while sick.

Disclaimer and Publication Information: The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the Union Weekly, ASI nor CSULB. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the Union Weekly staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, CSULB students will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions. They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. The Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.

4 COMMUNITY

Club Spotlight: Bonhomie with the French Club Uniting the Francophiles to revive a local community Words and Photos by Rachel Haering Contributor

In the past few years, CSULB’s French Club has experienced a lapse in activity and interest, but with an increased number of students returning from study abroad eager to continue engaging with French culture and language, the club’s future looks much brighter. Joanne Talbot and Ricardo Pulido, CSULB students studying French, are dedicated to increasing French Club’s presence on campus because of their deep love for what it represents. Talbot, who was first exposed to the French language at the age of ten, sees the club as a “good way to get engaged in the French-speaking community” on campus. Although Pulido, the recently elected president of the club, was introduced to French language and culture during college, he discovered in it a beautiful way to express himself. “Having a conversation [in French]

was the same as painting a blank canvas,” Pulido said. Both Talbot and Pulido are emphatic about the need for students to be aware of French culture and contributions. French culture is fundamentally connected to American culture, even though many are unaware of it. “A lot of [our] ideologies…come from France,” said Talbot, “as well as over 50,000 English words.” As Pulido explained, France has also created some of the most “rich and vibrant” works of art, literature, music, and architecture in the world. In order to revitalize the club, the leadership has several new events planned for this semester, including French movie nights with guest speakers, fundraisers at restaurants and an open mic night at Delightful Crepes Café. They are also planning on playing

Club representatives for the CSULB French Club recruiting during Week of Welcome.

French sports, including pétanque, which is similar to bowling, and holding a soccer tournament involving other language clubs on campus. Their biggest event of the semester, Francophonie, is also returning. Francophonie is a celebration of all Francophone—French-speaking— cultures, including those from areas outside of France such as Quebec, Senegal, and Louisiana, and their contributions to the collective history and culture of Frenchspeaking nations. The French Club also intends to remember the terrible tragedies that occurred in France over the last two years. They plan to hold a vigil on the anniversary of the November 2015 Paris terror attacks for Nohemi Gonzalez, the CSULB design student who was killed while studying abroad. “[The terrorists] shouldn’t instill fear in us,” Talbt asserted, describing how study

abroad trips to France continued and will continue even after the attacks. Following the example of French solidarity and courage in the aftermath of these horrible events, CSULB students will not allow fear to prevent them from following their dreams. Pulido hopes that all students will consider coming out to experience the French Club’s goal of “shar[ing] the French culture and let[ting] everyone feel welcome.”

To find out more, check out their Facebook page, CSULB French Club, or attend their first Café Français meeting in front of The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf on campus on September 21 at 2:30 p.m.

A roundup of what’s happening in student government

How an internship with the Freedom Writers Foundation inspired a student

By Emily Ayers ASI Press Secretary

Words by R. Ray Robinson Contributor Photos Courtesy of R. Ray Robinson After struggling last spring at CSULB, I felt this semester would drag me to hell. When people perceived me to be inferior due to my difficulties in comprehension, I figured what was the point of school? But that all changed when I interned with an angel, Ms. Erin Gruwell, who gave me a new perspective on the importance of education. Ms. Gruwell is the teacher portrayed by actress Hilary Swank in the film “Freedom Writers,” which tells of the unique teaching methods that inspired 150 students to graduate from Woodrow Wilson High School from 1994-1998. Her students were deemed “unteachable” and “at risk” by the administration and society, but many went on to complete college. Their success inspired her to establish the Freedom Writers Foundation, which motivates students and teachers all over the world. So when Professor Dave Porter told my criminal justice seminar that he befriended the educator, I pleaded for him to invite her to our class. When Ms. Gruwell came with an immense smile describing her former pupils changing the world, my attention exploded like fireworks. After her oration ended with photos and motherly hugs, she saw my enthusiasm and proposed a summer internship position. Ms. Gruwell’s—sometimes referred to as Ms. G—offer made me feel like “Kendrick Lamar” meeting the “Dr. Dre of Education.” Accepting her offer was a no brainer because if she transformed her students’ lives through education, she could do the equivalent for me. Interning with the foundation was like nothing I had ever experienced. I attended the Freedom Writer Teachers’ Institutes and Symposium where I witnessed Ms. G. train

COMMUNITY

The Weekly Gov Box

Facing Education Head-On

Erin Gruwell, left, presenting a certificate recognizing R. Ray Robinson as a recipient of the 2016 Freedom Writers Scholarship. teachers from the United States, Denmark, Japan, Israel and even Palestine to implement her lesson plans into their own classrooms. Many of the Freedom Writers themselves shared their stories of how they overcame drug

“Their accounts of oppression by the Nazis was tragic, however, hearing them overcome persecution by having hope in mankind influenced me to always seek a brighter day.” addiction, poverty, gang violence and other hardships by completing their academics. There were many incredible events that stood out to me. One was touring the

Museum of Tolerance to hear a few words from Holocaust survivors Elizabeth Mann and Renee Firestone. Their accounts of oppression by the Nazis was tragic, however, hearing them overcome persecution by having hope in mankind influenced me to always seek a brighter day. Additionally, we were delighted at the Long Beach Aquarium by Little Rock Nine Activist Terrence Roberts, who spoke of overcoming injustice and racism. His understanding of African American history in this country was presented along with his views on the Little Rock Nine, Black Lives Matter and other issues which have inspired me to one day present my personal experiences to the world by writing about social change. The experiences and stories of suffering may have differed at each of the events, but they all encouraged me to overcome my own difficulties as an African American student with a learning disability by sticking to my academics and ignoring the haters. I want to thank Erin Gruwell, the Freedom Writers, courageous leaders, humanitarians, activists, community organizers and teachers for overcoming their adversities and supporting me to enter this school year without trepidation. Realizing that that my heroes see a lot of potential raging in me, I’m not going to allow my learning disability to stop me from getting my degree in English and aspirations of becoming an inspirational speaker, best-selling writer and advocate for social change in the world. More information on Erin Gruwell and the Freedom Writers Foundation is available by visiting its website at www. freedomwritersfoundation.org

On a campus with more than 30,000 students, and numerous organizations, it’s sometimes hard to keep up with the latest news, let alone with the weekly happenings in student government. This column will serve as a way for students to stay connected, engaged, and aware of key resolutions, travel grants, fund allocations and creation of new programs on campus and more. It’s important for students to understand that ASI as a non-profit was created for the purpose of enhancing the educational experience for students, by students. Student government is just one of the many branches on the ASI tree that seeks to advocate on behalf of the student body. The goal is to make students feel a sense of solidarity, honesty, and transparency with their student government. This goal continues to be one centered on creating a thriving campus life for students so that they know their voices are heard and matter. Ask an Exec: Executives finished the first Town Hall Meeting on “Campus Climate” where students were able to ask questions, and voice concerns. The other two will take place from 3:30 to 5pm on Oct. 20 at the Student Recreation and Wellness Center, and November 3 at Maxson Plaza near the Brotman Hall fountain. ASI Beach Pantry : The Beach Pantry located in the USU room 302 opened this semester. Its mission is to provide food for students in need of snacks, or a meal. Its hours are Monday-Friday 10 am to 2 pm and 5 to 7 pm 100 Classes 100 Days: Senate passed a resolution for senators and student government leaders to visit 100 classrooms in 100 days to: talk to students and raise awareness of ASI, answer questions, gather feedback, and then use the information to develop programs and services to meet student needs. Voter Registration Drives: Lobby Corps is working with the New Voters Project and was trained in voter registration. They are now collaborating with the project to register as many students as possible for the upcoming elections.

6 OPINIONS

My Body’s Manifesto Rejecting diet culture and choosing body acceptance

By Emily Ayers Contributor Photos by Jordan Daniels Opinions Editor I remember looking in the mirror to see if the outline of my collarbone was still prominent. I would shift my shoulders until I could finally see them poking through my skin. To me, this was the definition of being skinny and beautiful. I remember when I was younger people would comment on how feminine a prominent collarbone was. This notion has stuck with me into adulthood and as my weight fluctuated I found myself holding onto this body part as the beacon that I’m good enough. When I can see it, I feel like I have made it. I have finally gotten my body to the point of acceptance. But sadly over the past few years I have realized just how much anxiety this destructive belief caused. If one day my collarbone wasn’t visible, I would tell myself I needed to go back on a diet and exercise methodically until it reappeared. This thought process was normal to me, and it occurred with other parts of my body as well - the bulge of my stomach, the thickness of my thighs, or the plumpness of my cheeks. They all served as constant measures of how much I did or did not accept my body.

Living In a Dating Wasteland Why CSULB is lacking in dating culture By Bailey Mount Managing Editor

The sad thing about it all is that I am not alone in this struggle. There are people who fight this internal battle for self-love every day. It isn’t easy to work towards a societal standard of beauty and it isn’t fair for society to place that on us. It isn’t fair that people are struggling to see their worth and constantly feel the need to validate their existence in a culture that tells them to be good enough, they have to change. This battle is made

Being a three-year veteran of the university, I feel confident enough in saying that the dating scene here sucks. Granted, the rise of hookup culture has created an environment where it’s difficult to get anything out of seeing someone aside from some groping and grunting. But here at Cal State Long Beach, dating culture has transcended the normal levels of hookup culture to something almost ethereal – in terms of how nonexistent it is. The fountain over at Brotman Hall is deeper than our dating pool. Freshmen are high off the freedom of graduation and feel like they’re adults. Don’t lie to yourselves; I still live in the halls and I relive that first year whenever I come back to my room. The dorm halls are cesspools of illicit exchanges, where this “adulthood” is synonymous with drinking and tepid sexual encounters. The engineering students are awkward. The kinesiology majors talk about how often they work out. The athletes only date other athletes. The people in your own majors are too

even more difficult as young people on college campuses are placed in an environment that reinforces these cultural norms. People find themselves the hamster wheel of diet culture - a culture that fosters unhealthy relationships with our bodies as well as with food and leaves people feeling helpless. Society preaches weight loss as the answer to e ve r yone ’s problems and says that restrictive eating is the only way to have control over ourselves.

But diets don’t work, which is why they are always pitching new and improved ones. Skinny does not always mean healthy, just like fat doesn’t mean unhealthy. We all owe ourselves an apology. We need to apologize for allowing years of not believing that we are beautiful to go by. We need to apologize for believing that our worth is measured by our body size and that one body part could actually compare to our inner wisdom and strength. We owe ourselves an apology for believing that a flat stomach makes us lovable, but that thighs that rub together and shake as we walk aren’t beautiful. We need to say that we are sorry for not standing up for our true selves that are buried beneath the lies society has piled on us. It is from there that we will finally be free to strive for radical self love and endless body acceptance. Reject all that you thought before. As you continue on with your semester, say “screw you” to the old mindset and “hello” to a new one that is unrestricted and one hundred percent defined by you.

much competition to be anything else but potential job stealers. Even if the people were interesting, there isn’t any time to talk to them. A normal campus day consists of getting up, going to campus, going to classes, meeting up with friends, and going home to repeat it all again the next day. If you’re like me, the rare moments of repose are replaced with hours at work and quick meals alone. There’s no time for anything – or anyone – else. There’s no time for a major commitment when you already have three. The trouble with it is the mindset. We have an awful dating culture here on campus because we consider relationships to be another form of work. We’re all here

to get degrees. By the end of the day, we’re all exhausted and looking for something to take the edge off – not anything that requires more effort. It’s sad. Physical intimacy is now as easily accessible as fast food, a hot commodity to scratch an itch and stroke an ego in an hour of greedy gratification. Sex for the sake of sex is as easy as ordering a pizza. For all of you starting at CSULB looking to find your potential soul mate, I’m sorry. You have a better chance of finding something more worthwhile somewhere off campus or, in my case, an entire city away from it. Think of it as romantic outsourcing.

“Physical intimacy is now as accesible as fast food, a hot commodity to scratch an itch and stroke an ego in an hour of greedy gratification.”

ATHLETICS

Nele Barber is a Global Commodity

German transfer student travels to strike success By Luke Ramirez Contributor In Long Beach State’s long and decorated history of women’s volleyball, there have only been 10 players named American Volleyball Coaches Association national player of the week. Joining the short list of women from CSULB to have been have achieved this honor is the senior captain, outside hitter Nele Barber. “It’s very cool to follow in their footsteps... Looking up and seeing their jerseys hanging in the Pyramid and hearing Brian’s [Gimmillaro] stories just makes it that much more of an honor to me,” said Barber after a long and tedious day of practice. If you have ever seen Barber play, you know she is always one of the best and most experienced players on the court. Barber practices with incredible attention to detail, making sure that every move she makes is as close to perfect as possible, and then she does that over and over again. Even as a senior, the only one on this 49er team comprised of younger players, Barber can be seen taking extra repetitions of a drill after coach has granted the girls a short water break. “I do lots of oneon-one work with the coaches,” said Barber. “At this point in my career I know how important it is. I love to learn.” This season Barber leads the 49ers with 145 kills and 123 digs, and is second on the team in with 32 blocks. Her best stretch of games came on the the week of September 8 when she had 17 kills in all four matches played, three of which Long Beach was able to win. Her weekend consisted of 69 kills, making her an easy candidate for national player of the week. The 49ers would love to keep riding Barber’s stellar play to more victories this year. “I think we just have to keep making things happen,” said Barber. Nele Barber wasn’t always the shining star you see on the volleyball court today. Hailing from Berlin, Germany, Barber was not naturally good at the game she has mastered today. “I went to a camp when I was 10 years old and it just went horribly and I didn’t like it,” said Barber. “I didn’t play for 3 years and I was very into gymnastics. Then I started going to this sports school where everyone played volleyball

so that’s how I got back into the game.” So started the ascent to stardom for the now 6-foot-1 “killing machine”. Before she decided to move to the U.S. to play at the division 1 NCAA level, Barber climbed through the ranks and found success in Germany. “My high school team won the school world championships when I was in 10th grade which I am still very proud of today! I also made the German Junior National team in 2011,” she said. Following her early success at home, Barber started to recognize more opportunities to play abroad. She saw one of her best friends go through the process of being recruited by a college program in America and had begun to dream of playing in the U.S. as well. “My old coach at Marquette came over to recruit me and that helped me make my decision,” said Barber, “but it was really hard to convince my parents to leave home!” After two years at Marquette in Milwaukee, she decided to transfer to CSULB where she could further pursue her major, film studies. When put on the spot about good and bad movies, she had a hard time identifying her top three favorites but she was able to talk about one movie she recently watched. “I just saw Saving Private Ryan and wow, that film is emotional! If someone can bring out those feelings from the audience through video editing then they’re good. I want to be that good!” At Marquette, Barber found herself “frustrated everyday.” She added that she was “not very happy” and “felt like I could just break down and cry everyday I was there.” She got her change in scenery by moving to Long Beach for her junior year and hasn’t looked back. Besides volleyball, Barber really enjoys going to school and pursuing her degree. If you don’t get a chance to watch Barber play this season, it’s safe to say you’ll be missing out on one of the best players to come through Long Beach’s program in years. Off the court, Nele is just another great all-around student here CSULB, with a cannon for a right arm.

“At this point in my career I know how important it is [to continue to work hard]. I love to learn.”

Top: Barber goes in for the kill against Cal (Courtesy of Long Beach State Athletics). Bottom: Service ready for Barber versus Pepperdine (Credits to Alejandro Ramos).

8 FEATURE

CENSORSHIP HITS CAMPUS By Matthew Gozzip Athletics Editor

During the heat of the 1960’s American civil rights movement, comedian and social activist Dick Gregory wrote an autobiography retelling his life as a black man in a segregated society during the twentieth century. The title of the book was all lower case, a single cursive word. “N*gger”. Immediate backlash ensued because of the use of the term, a lot of the heat coming from the Black community. Gregory knew the title was controversial and addressed immediately on the opening page of the novel. The dedication message reads: “Dear Momma -- Wherever you are, if ever you hear the word “n*gger” again, remember they are advertising my book.” Despite the outcry, the book has sold seven million copies since its release. “N*gger” received praise for its honest storytelling of a difficult subject. Everything from Gregory’s experience growing up without a supportive father in a household on welfare to being a black person in a country that held ill contempt for them was detailed without restriction. Gregory found power in his words and his innate ability to use comedy to combat the cruel realities around him. His jokes about racism deconstructed the fallacy of the injustice that was directed towards him and others like him. Many people wouldn’t have known the book’s cultural impact if they had taken it at face value and avoided it because of the provocative racial slur emblazoned across the front cover. The controversy surrounding

Gregory’s choice of the words is not an isolated incident. Books and art performances with racially charged material have been ridiculed ever since minorities began voicing their concerns about race through their art. The challenging thing is that criticism has come from all angles of ethnicity. Achieving social equality remains the mutual goal for minorities but there are varying opinions on how to go about opening dialogue. Many push political correctness as the stabilizing force, an aggressive “be considerate or else you are the problem” approach. Comedy is the antithesis of this. Social commentary

“Art is fluid, as is racial discussion.” in comedy channels itself by recognizing injustice and systematically dunking it. Jokes that initially seem self-deprecating are realized as devalue the power of historically offensive racial epithets. The culture of political correctness clashes with comedians who use underlying meaning that often gets lost under the initial shock of the things they

say. Modern day social activists that use comedy to make a change are having as much trouble being censored as their counterparts of yesteryear. “N*gger, Wetb*ck, Ch*nk,” a contemporary “race play”, directly references the racial stereotypes that

Blacks, Latinx(s) and Asians face daily. NWC pulls no punches or, in this case, fighting words. There are three characters, “the Ch*nk”, “the Wetb*ck” and “the N*gger”, who represent the utmost extreme clichés surrounding their respective ethnicities. Though the performance is arranged as a three party play, NWC has a fluid form of prose, slam poetry, sketch and stand up among other things to make a point. Passing the initial discomfort of seeing the historically damaging words in the title is a difficult challenge for the audience but to the performers, it is their reality. “The show is an opportunity to open up about the racism [me and my co-stars] face,” says Rafael Agustin, one of the co-creators of NWC. “We want to make sure we work in coalitions together to get basic human rights for all. NWC we want to create dialogue through our experiences.” NWC is an alternative to the

9 FEATURE

censoring of uncomfortable racial issues. The show directly attacks the most demeaning racial perceptions of people in a comedic and enlightening manner. Comedy and sincerity in commentary are not mutually exclusive. The performance became a national success by touring 150 different cities and 44 states during a 10-year span. College campuses are the most popular destinations and wherever the show went, positive reviews usually followed. Cal State Long Beach recognized the show as a potential tool to teach students about healthy discussion about race. The show was included on the curriculum for ethnic studies in the fall 2015 semester under a two-day residency at the Carpenter Performing Arts Center. A year later, President Jane Conoley pulled the show from the curriculum due to negative feedback from the ethnic studies faculty. Conoley explained that it wasn’t the name of the show that dictated the decision rather faculty deeming it not a worthy “conversation starter”. This is where the details start to blur. A Daily 49er article on September 7th, 2016, revealed that Conoley had not seen the performance. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People chapter in Long Beach objected to the use of the n-word in the play. It is unclear if any of them have seen the performance. Professor Craig Stone, a member of the ethnic studies faculty on campus, noted that the title was one of the issues with the performance and that hearing students reading the sign was uncomfortable. Other critiques of the show have been directed towards the vulgar nature of several dirty jokes regarding male genitalia size. It’s understandable why Conoley made the decision to remove the show from curriculum. There is no denying the offensive nature of the show’s title nor the potential misinterpretation of the show’s material. Also, the faculty should have considerable amount of influence on what it suitable material to study. That’s where there is a breakdown in understanding. Agustin and co. are attempting to defy conventions in presenting their dialogue. Several people having the power to control what was generally a positively reviewed form of dialogue is censorship. NWC, as a comedic art piece, has complex rhetoric embedded in between all the references to hyper racist remarks

and crude humor. The performers portray caricatures of ethnicity they represent with the intention to not mock their own race. Outlandish jokes push the audience to realize the hypocrisy of their laughter as well as realize how silly it is to assume someone will act to their racial archetype. “We don’t do books or dissertations;

what it is: a performing art piece that is aware of its offensiveness and still wants to address reality. This brings the investigation to a bigger question: is it necessary to use the title? Yes. Hearing someone yell n*gger and being seen as a pimp (as depicted

“Problems with comedy won’t be solved with content censorship. Recognizingthecontextandintent in the way certain language is used is arguably just as important as the words used.” we do theater,” says Agustin. “[NWC] is catharsis for us to explain how racial attitudes affect us. This is our art and how we describe our thoughts on race.” Problems with comedy won’t be solved with content censorship. Recognizing the context and intent in the way certain language is used is arguably just as important as the words used. Judging a show or joke by the raw text disregards the art of comedy. Seeing how an audience may react to a joke other than laughter drives a show, especially a comedy show regarding race relations. Art is fluid, as is racial

“Social commentary in comedy channels itself by recognizing injustice and systematically dunking it.” discussion. Sanctioning such a performing art show like NWC as having to be politically responsible would negate some of the more intense details that academia doesn’t touch upon. The clash between social commentary and strict reading to the book is a frustrating battle. Sometimes it helps to step back from the conventional form of discussion and embrace a comedic performance such as NWC for

in the show) is a perception that people internalize as reality. Referring a person of Latinx descent as a wetb*ck who is subject to crime (as depicted in the show) is another unjust reality. Being called ch*nk

that has inherently small genitalia size and a natural craving for rice is actually a reality I face. The important discussions that are hard to here are usually silenced altogether when they are censored. Wit and intelligent humor with nuance is lost if not explored past the surface. NWC’s title is effective because it reintroduces the words to the audience and then systematically ridicules the use of it. The history of malice behind them is redirected, just as Gregory did so many years ago when he decided to title his book in a such manner. When you hear these phrases heard again, just know that the person is making fun of themselves.

10 ENTERTAINMENT

The Mysterious Case of

Intro by Peter R. Clark Entertainment Editor Ever have that feeling of pure joy, knowing that you are about to purchase a video game that you’ve been wanting forever? We get excited, hyped, then we lay down the money to purchase a game we’ve been anticipating to play for a while. It might be on sale, or brand new, but either way, we’re hankering to play it. Then you buy it, and bam it’s yours, and you play it for a while, then stop. You may stop because you’re mad at it, maybe you got burned out, or maybe it just wasn’t as good as

A collaborative look into you expected. This is a problem, but why does this occur? I asked a number of people about this problem that is facing a large group of gamers today to possible shed some insight on this epidemic. Apparently it is affecting more people that previously thought. The insights from the many writers are interesting and well thought out. For me, the most recent game I played, but never beat was Fallout 4. Steam says I’ve played that game for 80+ hours, and I certainly felt like I have. I did a lot in that game, but I felt like I did enough to constitute that I earned my money’s worth. Do I want

to beat the game? Sure. Do I have the drive to beat it? Not really. Do I have an explanation for that? Again, not really. It could just be psychological. Or maybe I’m just bored with game. That’s probably it. Boredom, and maybe because there are bigger fish to fry in the form of other games. I’m a nomad drifting from game to game, spending just enough time on them to enjoy them, and then it’s on to the next. I love games, I play them a lot, it is not an issue of whether or not I’m just bored of games and just can’t be entertained by them. Maybe it’s a time issue. Maybe I’m spending too much time on my real life and not enough

I’ve been a huge fan of the Persona series since the renowned Persona 3: FES title. However, I can’t say that I enjoyed their latest game Persona Q: Shadow of the Labyrinth. Don’t get me wrong, the plot was amazing, the soundtrack was great as always and the developers were able to play with the 3DS systems well, but as much as I hate to admit it I had the biggest rage quit during one of the stages and I refuse to pick up the game ever again. It was during the third dungeon, the Evil Spirit Club, on the third floor, or “story” as they were called, where I struggled to sneak

By Andrew Linde Multimedia Manager Throughout my life, video games have come and gone. I’ve started countless only to never finish them. The last game that I never finished was Grand Theft Auto V. Was I offended by the voice acting skills of Steven Ogg as the despicable and disgusting Trevor Phillips? No, I was actually delighted by his malevolent character. I even loved the gimmick of having one of the main characters essentially be Ray Liotta

on my gaming life. The possibilities are near endless, and I don’t see an answer in sight. Hopefully the insights of the other writers help us clearly define why it is we don’t beat games like we used to. I could keep speculating forever, and maybe one of my speculations would be right, but the fact is, I haven’t beat a game in a number of years. The last game I beat was a short game that in essense didn’t have a real ending (you can read my review on that game on our website: Renowned Explorers: International Society). In any case, enjoy the rest of the insights below, and maybe you can relate to them. Maybe it’s just all in our heads.

By Alexis Cruz Social Media Manager past one of the Old Doll F.O.E.s no matter where I moved on the map. Sadly, I was too far into the game to grind to a high enough level to defeat the monster, and I refused to let my hours of gameplay go to waste and start a new game. Admittedly, I tried to look up game FAQs or walkthroughs to get past the F.O.E. but they would only show a map with no directional purpose. I gave up. I haven’t thought about the game or picked it up since.

from GoodFellas. And yet, something stopped me from finishing the main storyline of that game. I happened to purchase the game through a Steam sale, just a few scant weeks before the start of Fall semester. So, despite the game being over a year old and my purchasing of it in the summer, I was unable to complete all of the objectives before school started. If it wasn’t school, it’d be the release of another new game. If something newer and more exciting came out, then my attention was pulled.

I never finished Huniepop for one major reason, it being both a superficial and a moral one that held a lot of bearing for me. Huniepop is a game that parodies the Japanese dating simulator games. In it, your character strives to have intercourse with every woman in your town. You woo your women by giving them gifts and taking them on dates. Each date comes in the form of a match-up game similar to Candy Crush. On the fifth date, you get to have intercourse with them. I started playing this game for laughs about a year ago. I’ve completed 98 percent

By Bailey Mount Managing Editor of it. The missing percent is for three reasons: the first two being that I haven’t found out the favorite hangout spots of two women. The third and best reason is that I only have one outfit left to unlock – and it’s on the cat girl. She has ears and a tail. I’ve seen where that tail goes. I can’t do it. If I win the date, I have to have simulated intercourse with her. Alien women? Totally fine? Venus, the literal goddess of love? Totally cool. But a girl with a cattail that meows at me? No game.

ENTERTAINMENT

Game-Related Procrastination

the world of unfinished quests

Over summer, my buddy Elliott introduced me to Starcraft when I asked him what online game we should play until Fall Semester starts. At that time, I was jobless and treading on thin ice with bills and rent. In order to distract myself from my financial troubles, I focused my attention onto Starcraft: The Destroy of Productivity. And thus began the 2 month journey to nowhere. The game mechanics were clunky, since it came out in 1998. You needed to learn how to use hot keys. I just wanted to point and click. League of Legends ruined me. I am a casual gamer. I want simple stupid fun.

By Elliott Gatica Music Editor When I have the time to boot up my PS4 to play some Overwatch, Warframe, or other games I prefer (soon to be Titanfall), I always have the thought in the back of my mind questioning why I haven’t finished many of the games I’ve played. And by finished, I mean that I would have the story completed with all (if more than one) endings. However, I always find myself brushing off that thought and thinking, “I’ll do it when I have more time, I just want to keep my rank

400. That’s roughly the number games I own, from the classic Nintendo 64 to the present Playstation 4. Coming off from memory, I most likely finished at least 90% or so of each games’ single-player campaigns. My game library has been growing thanks to sales and discounts. Despite some of the positive reception from each game, it’s more of an acquired taste. One particular game I would most likely never finish is “The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt,”

I was constantly rage-quitting 1v1 matches with Elliott—never play with sadistic veterans. Starcraft is a “get-good” genre where you just had to learn. The tutorial sucked. Elliott and I played co-op campaign on the hardest difficulty. There were bugs. I ignored him for a day. Starcraft is just that game you needed patience. And I finally realized that Starcraft II answered all my “report issues” and criticisms. I never finished it.

up in whatever I’m playing now.” Two years ago, I bought Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII for the Xbox 360 for less than $20. Since the XIII series grew on me after XIII-2, I was planning on playing the last of the series to get the full experience. However, it’s now just another disc added to my previous-generation Xbox 360 library. Maybe in the near future, I’ll revisit— or rather, play it for the first time—Final Fantasy XIII to complete the story. But right now, I only have time to level up my account in Warframe or get my rank to diamond in Overwatch ranked.

I was in my uncle’s stuffy, electronics repair shop at the impressionable age of 11 when I witnessed my older cousin finish Majora’s Mask in one sitting. I was enthralled by the haunting smile of the moon, its bulging yellow irises lined in red, the grand boss fights, and Link’s transformations into some of the other game’s races, from a wooden deku scrub to a swimming Zora to a rolling Gorgon. Many years later I gained possession of this childhood memento that not only held a wonderful gaming experience, but a comforting feeling of a home away from home.

By Ross Siev Contributor

By Chris Orozco Distribution Manager

which is one of the best games I have played in a long time. The game is huge with many side-quests and collectibles to find in four separate regions. A dedicated person can take 100 hours completing a region and not even be close to being done. At this point, I got burned out from the experience and barely scratched the surface. With so many games to play that I could beat in the course of a week, a game needs to be interesting enough for me to get engaged in. Now I just buy a single game and make it my mission to complete it before I go out to my local Best Buy.

By Mario Lopez Travel Editor As I began to play the game and I couldn’t get past the first town’s mission. I witnessed the moon crushing the world over and over again, with its toothy grin, mocking my lack of gaming skills--mocking my pain. I rage quit after several tries. I am sure I could beat the game now, but with many more on my to-play list, school, and work, maybe in retirement I’ll pick up the N64 controller and finish what I started.

12 MUSIC

The Return of Zaywop Isaiah Rashad’s “The Sun’s Tirade” is an emotional trip By Alejandro Ramos Editor-in-Chief

After a couple of quiet years, Isaiah Rashad has returned and presented us a deeply introspective piece of work, “The Sun’s Tirade,” showcasing the Chattanooga rapper’s skills as he opens about the problems he faces in life. At first glance, “The Sun’s Tirade” is more of the same. It follows the same formula as Rashad’s previous work, “Cilvia Demo.” In both of these albums, Rashad gives us clever words delivered with a slurred Southern drawl over foggy instrumentals. There are very few high or lows as the album tends to stay at the same level throughout. A closer look reveals

that while it is it similar, “The Sun’s Tirade” stands apart from his previous work. It features an older Isaiah Rashad that has had some time to experience life and figure himself out in the scheme of things. He’s had success and failure, which are the perfect fodder for a rapper that tends to look inward rather than outward for material. Rashad knows this and decides to stick to his strengths rather than switch things up to keep up with his contemporaries. The result is an album that is unique; it has a Southern influence as its foundation, built on with L.A. beats that carry Rashad’s thoughts and emotions. It’s a recipe that few could work with and have success with, but Rashad makes it work. He lays out his worries and insecurities for the world to see over 17 tracks. The sheer number of tracks gave Rashad room to mess around and try new things in terms of delivery. He brings back his signature rap style of slurring words and

creating hooks with out-of-this world alliteration while also adding a bit of bluesinspired singing to the mix. With that said, this album does have a drawback or two. It seems a bit aimless, with Rashad bouncing back and forth between topics and emotional states. Combined with the overall length of the album, it can become a bit overwhelming and difficult to keep up with Rashad’s train of thought. However, it all comes together once we take a step back and look at the bigger picture. The topic of each song may be drastically different, but the album is all about Rashad and the things he likes. It goes without saying that this album would not have seen the light of day if not for the executives of Top Dawg Entertainment (TDE). Word has it that Rashad was almost dropped from the label three times in between the release of “Cilvia Demo” and “The Sun’s Tirade” from drug and alcohol addictions. Rather than shying away from this, Rashad

Trapped Birds in a Cage

decided to include this aspect of his life into the album. Dave Free, a co-president of Top Dawg Entertainment, makes recurring appearances throughout the album in the form of skits. The skits play out like voicemails in which Free leaves Rashad hilarious and out-of-pocket messages. “The Sun’s Tirade” is Rashad wearing his heart on his sleeve. He lets everything show for the world to see and we should thank him for it. While it’s not a groundbreaking piece of work, it’s definitely one that deserves to be on rotation for a while.

Travis Scott fails to use momentum from debut By Matthew Gozzip Athletics Editor Travis Scott may have wings on the cover of his latest album, “Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight,” but his music never takes off to new heights. A dark prince in the growing trap industry, Scott held tremendous momentum coming off the release of his first album, “Rodeo,” a project that garnered critical acclaim as well as mainstream appeal. Scott’s eccentric personality, prodigal prowess in production, and list of features comprised of trap music royalty (Future, Chief Keef, Young Thug, Swae Lee) rocketed the Houston artist to near the top of the industry. Scott was poised to take the next step into the upper echelon of rap artists with “Birds,” a quick follow-up to Rodeo that would cement his legacy as the future of the game. A year later and Scott’s “Birds” seems to be humming the same tunes. The first half of the album contains minimal highlights. An Andre 3000 feature on the opening track “The Ends” can’t save the song from being more than verses saying almost nothing. “Way Back” and “Coordinate” mesh so well together that they could be the same song. That’s a bad thing.

The fan favorite, “Through the Late Night,” is an ode to the feature, Kid Cudi, and his own first song, “Day and Night.” I have to admit, the nostalgia almost overtook me with this one but I was able to resist. Cudi’s mumbles can be misconstrued for a lullaby if played at a low enough volume. Scott tries to play off the hook of the original Cudi song “Day and Night,” but it’s similar to his other songs. “Guidance” is a disaster, a terrible play off the current dancehall song trend. A few songs off “Birds” show that original promise from Scott. The Kendrick Lamar feature, “Goosebumps,” captures the deep darkness of anguish. It was the first time on the album I was compelled to listen to Scott’s verses. It’s a Halloween jam for sure. Kendrick, the king of the features for the summer, adds to the creep with his usual attention to atmospheric detail. The beats thump and the hooks are easy to follow, but nothing really stands out to make Scott’s sophomore record discernible from “Rodeo.” Scott meanders through the tracks with mad libs fill-ins (ex: “relieve my heart of malice, hit my palace, stroke my cactus”)

while also lacking the creative moxie that made his first album so good. “Birds” lacks the fleshed out storytelling that is common in most trap songs. The R&B aspects of trap music never fully materialize. It’s drugs, debauchery and selfloathing without the desire of exploring the reasons why and the sensation behind each. One can argue that trap thrives better when the lyrics and progression are simple, but that’s just lack of innovation and experimentation. Scott’s southern trap cohort, Young Thug, proved on his latest album, “Jeffrey,” that within the trap genre, much more can be explored with genre blending. Thug’s lyrical simplicity is similar to Travis’ but he is able to blend different genres to further convey his feelings.

Scott gets stuck on the same sound for a long period of time. This album is extremely enjoyable if you are trying to get hyped off feelings. Scott does a great job at exciting people. His concerts are legendary for the way he can provoke the crowd up to near riot-like behavior. However, trap is more than just this superficial sound and shallow narrative. Instead of flying with the success, Travis Scott is limping with a clipped wing.

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13 Culture

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The University Art Museum exposes the depth of the deep blue sea Words and Photos by Martha Giron Quijano Staff Writer

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One of Fine and McCarren’s notable work representing the nine nations who are the topshore tax havens.

California State University Long Beach recently hosted the opening reception of Jud Fine and Barbara McCarren’s exhibition “AND/OR” at the University Art Museum (UAM). The husband and wife duo presented over 16 works of art that were based on ocean life from water elements captured on video, sea shells that have morphed into ears, and a paper mache sculpture of a crab claw holding an inflatable globe. According to the UAM, the exhibition is a collaborative effort between the duo and the curator of exhibitions, Kristina Newhouse that had been in the works since 2013. “I’ve always loved their work individually and collectively. When they did their currency pieces...I was astonished by them,” said Newhouse. The currency piece titled, “Offshore,” shows replicas of currencies from nine nations that, according to the its description,

represent “the top offshore tax havens due to strong financial secrecy practices.” It is beautifully displayed in a ring of colors fading from white to green to different shades of blue. It is almost hypnotizing the more you look at it. Climate change is the most prevalent topic all throughout. A synopsis of the exhibition is plastered on the wall, providing facts about the future of our planet. It reads: “With annual average temperatures consistently pegging at or near peak levels, the present pace of planetary warming has not been experienced by humans since at least 500 AD. We must face many unknowns, whether we wish to or not.” There are two video presentations that I found intriguing that went along great with the subject. One of them is titled, “The Ice Dispenser

Theater (IDT),” created by contributor Jacinto Astiazaran. It shows a literal upclose shot of an ice dispenser featuring a sea creature falling from the inside. The other is a 12 minute video presentation of an ice mountain that you have to wait and see until it collapses. CSULB student and UAM employee, Phoenix Pedro, describes the videos as the cause and effect of climate change that has increased anxiety within the last few years. “AND/OR” is an exhibition that requires more than one walkthrough in order to fully grasp the underlying messages within each piece. Some may be clear from the first look, while others take a few minutes to ponder before coming to a conclusion. Fine and McCarren’s exhibition will run from Sept. 10 to Dec. 11, so make sure you don’t miss the opportunity to check out their exquisite collection.

A claw statue made from materials to hold up our planet.

14 FOOD-

Photo courtesy of Selena N.B.H. (Flickr).

Matzoh Ball Confessions Sometimes a Jew just has to defend his food By Zach Phelps Food Editor

Cultural expression can come in a variety of shapes and forms, from song and dance to law and customs. However, few cultural manifestations resonant across the whole of humanity like that of the edible dish. Living in coastal Southern California, one of the world’s hotspots for cultural and ethnic diversity, it is beyond easy for us to take our access to an endless array of cuisine options for granted. Pho, elotes, and kebab are all visible parts of our culinary lexicon, undoubtedly stoked by their widespread popularity with people from all cultural backgrounds. Yet, while I am loath to admit it, there seems to be one variety of ethnic cuisine near and dear to my heart that just doesn’t seem to cross cultural bounds as fluently; Jewish, or more specifically, Ashkenazi (a term to describe Jews originating from Central and Eastern Europe) food.

There is just something about traditional Ashkenazi cuisine, and a significant crosssection of European food in general, that just does not translate well with people outside of the corresponding ethnic group. Personally, I have incredibly fond memories of spending the High Holidays with my family, surrounded by an endless of sea of traditional Jewish dishes. My grandma, who is German-born and the keeper of tradition in the family, would always begin every meal by serving us a warm bowl of matzo ball soup, followed by a small salad and a piece of gefilte fish, which is a cold, pickled mixture of whitefish, usually topped with horse radish. Dinner itself always featured some combination of pot roast, salmon, potato pancakes, challah bread, stuffed cabbage, kasha varnishkes (a mixture of buckwheat groats and bowtie noodles), carrot pudding,

Oatmeal Mug Cake By Alexis Cruz Social Media Manager

Illustration by John Mueller Graphics Illustrator

School is kicking into high gear and midterms are just around the corner. That means more time hitting the books and less time eating well. As a commuter, I often find myself forgetting to make and eat breakfast before my long trek on the road, and when I get home it’s the same story. There just isn’t enough time! At least, that’s what I thought before I started making mug meals. It

sounds weird, but it’s a thing, look it up. You can make a variety of quick and easy meals such as this recipe. This oatmeal mug cake takes about five minutes to make and can easily be catered to your tastes. It’s even dorm friendly! So grab your favorite mug and get to cooking cause this will be the simplest breakfast or dessert you’ll ever make.

Recipe: 1 ripe banana 2 tablespoons of creamy peanut butter 1/2 of quick oats A splash of your choice of milk Toppings of your choice

1. Mash the banana in a microwave safe mug 2. Stir in the peanut butter until well combined 3. Stir in the oats (at this point the mixture with be a bit thick) 4. Throw in the milk to thin out the mixture 5. Microwave the cake for 2 minutes or until the cake is no longer runny in the center 6. Optional: add toppings

cucumbers and red onions in vinegar, kugel (essentially a sweet noodle casserole, complete with raisins, apples, almonds, sugar, and cinnamon), and a generous amount of Manschewitz kosher wine for the adults, along with sparkling grape juice for us children. As if this wasn’t enough, we could always rely on full dessert course, complete with rugelach (similar to a chocolatefilled croissant), almond cookies, blintzes (basically crepes with sweet cheese and/or berries), fruit, and tea. Despite the variety of the aforementioned dishes, all of which I guarantee are endlessly delicious, few ever seemed to catch-on with my friends. Most just could not accept the

thinness of the soup broth, the dryness of kasha varnishkes, or the syrupy consistency of Manschewitz (although I could forgive them for that one, since it is a pretty lackluster wine). A mere mention of cold, pickled, poached fish or a pudding of carrots was enough to drive most people to the hills. For years, the reasoning behind the lack of acceptance for the food of my childhood failed to register with me. How could anyone dislike such a plethora of starchy dishes? However, as I’ve grown older and a smidgen wiser, I’ve gained enough experience and insight to reach this valuable conclusion; if they don’t like it, screw it. More food for me. Mazel Tov!

15 TRAVEL

“As someone who has never eaten

A Little Trip to... by Martha Giron Quijano Staff Writer

Illustration by John Mueller Graphics Illustrator

Take a Hike Pushing yourself to new heights

Words and Photos by Karrie Comfort Staff Writer

anything outside of Korean BBQ, I was a little bit hesitant to go since I’m not much of an adventurous eater.” As someone who has always been interested in the culture, especially when it comes to the food and music, Koreatown in Los Angeles was definitely a treat for me. Although I wish I could have spent more time exploring what the neighborhood had to offer — especially the karaoke bars — I was still able to visit a couple of shops, and eat a great bowl of bibimbap, a Korean dish served with rice, sautéed vegetables, chili pepper paste, soy sauce or a fermented soybean paste, and sometimes with a raw or fried egg and sliced meat. BCD Tofu House restaurant was highly recommended to me. As someone who has never eaten anything outside of Korean BBQ, I was a little bit hesitant to go since I’m not much of an adventurous eater. The words “bulgogi” and “bibimbap” sounded foreign to me, but I decided to give it a go. Of course, it was delicious. Despite not knowing what to do with the mixed

vegetables and meat at first, once that spicy sauce was added into the bowl, I was sold. Just across from the tofu house was the Plaza, the stores had names like “Mone Mos” and “Parashu Handbag” with sale signs that read “only $100!”. Curiously, I went into one of the shops that sold mainly handbags. It was like walking into a Barney’s department store. Designer handbags were everywhere, from familiar brands like Marc

Jacobs to Balenciaga, it was all there. Right next door was the same type of brand, only this time it was shoes. It was a dream walking in there and that’s exactly what I walked out with—just a dream of being able to buy all those things in the future. After wandering around store to store in amazement, I checked out the only music store in the mall called “Music Plaza.” That place is how I imagine paradise looks like for a kpop fan. An abundance of kpop CDs, DVDs, posters, and other merch you could think

of was all there. Fangirls and boys squealed at the sight of their favorite singer or boy band. I could relate too, but kept my enthusiasm to myself. There was also a supermarket literally in the middle of the mall. Standing outside the market, I could see rows of Korean treats that you can’t find at your local grocery store. I decided against going in there out of fear that I would just spend all my money. Next to the supermarket, there was plenty of baked goods and coffee you could smell all the way up to the third floor. One of the cafes that I briefly explored was Bosco Bakery Cafe. It had a very “Paris Baguette” style to it. It’s a self-service system where you choose which pastries you want to purchase. Paris Baguette coincidentally is a South Korean owned bakery chain, according to The Guardian. Koreatown is a nice place to visit if you’re ever in the area, looking for something new to do in LA. But whatever you do, make sure you have some extra funds to spend and don’t forget to at least try one dish of Korean cuisine.

“Yeah, Mt. Baldy is the highest peak in up calls for me to get back into nature and California” my boss said. hit a few trails for fitness sake. The more things I learned about this I mean, I hate cardio as much as the spontaneous coworker hiking trip, next guy, but it is just as relevant to one’s the more nervous I got. First, I heard that people have been hurt on this trail, and now it was some record breaking mountain? About 3 miles into the hike, sweating in the sweltering heat, and questioning my own sanity I decided that I would not be doing this again. There were still 3 more miles to the peak, and about 4 more miles back downhill. The crushing despair was almost too much to handle. But despite the horror of the heat and the length and the difficulty of About halfway up Mt. Baldy, one of the many rest stops to check out the view the trail, hiking with my coworkers was an incredible experience. There were health and fitness as strength is. I assume beautiful views and a few good conversations, it will prove equally important during any all of which obviously happened on the apocalyptic episode. downhill portion of our hike. So break out your adventure hat and hit the However, this was not first hike. It was trails with me. Here are a few of my personal just the first one I had taken that made me favorites to keep you fit and ferocious. question my level of fitness. One of the first places you should As someone who primarily lifts definitely go is known as the Dominguez weights in a cool and air-conditioned gym Gap Wetlands Project. This small 2 mile loop environment, Mt. Baldy and other more surrounds a small patch of wetland nature. recent hiking experiences have been wake It may not seem like a major getaway,

but it’s a great place to clear your mind and go for a little jog. There are always little critters around to look at and it’s pretty close to campus. Another fairly close hike is another wetland walk in Orange County much closer to a beach: the Bolsa Chica Wetlands. This trail is slightly more populated, but not annoyingly so. Expect to see a few lizards and a host of interesting birds flying all around. What’s great about this trail is that a quick 5 minute walk across PCH and ta-da: you are at Bolsa Chica State Beach. What’s not to love? Lastly, and most recently for me, Peter’s Canyon in Orange. This hike has multiple routes measured as easy intermediate or hard, so you can gradually work your way up to. I, unfortunately, took the hard path and nearly passed out, but I think my boyfriend would have stopped me from falling off the cliff if I did. Though I nearly passed out, it is super rewarding to see how far I have come, from clawing my way up the hills with a death grip to running them like a champ. So go out and hike your way to health and do a little bit of adventuring this weekend.

Volume 79 Issue 5

Monday, September 14, 2016

LBUNION.COM

The Grunion is a work of satire. It in no way reflects the views of Long Beach Union Weekly or Associated Students Inc.

SHITLORDS

GRIM, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Grim Fandango Grunion Fucklord

Mercedes Colomar News Secretary Cervantes LeMans Staff Slave Send submissions to: grunion@lbunion.com

DEADLINES

Ass-man Is Misunderstood: He Just Loves Using Words With Ass In It

By Mercedes Colomar

NEWS SECRETARY

ast week I was given a rare opporutnity to interview a very interesting person. The following is the transcribed interview from my encounter. Mercedes Colomar: “For the record, can you state your name, occupation, and age?” Unknown Entity: “My name is Baldischatiaun. I am farmer, explorer and economist. My age is irrelevant.” M: “Yeah I have no idea what you just said. Can you understand me?”

UE: “Of course I can understand you, you’re speaking English, the language of this great nation. I may be a second generation immigrant, but I at least know how to understand English.” MC: “Ok this is going nowhere. I still have no idea what you are saying. Maybe I’ll try a different approach. Entiendes el Español? Me entiendes? Me puedes decir de donde vienes? UE: “I don’t know what you’re saying now. Please speak in English.” MC: “Well Spanish doesn’t work either.

This is hopeless. Grim, when I said I wanted substance, I didn’t mean an impossible interview! Alright, I’ll have to spell it out for you. I would like a news story that actually matters. Maybe something about current happenings, or about Trump/Hillary. BUT NOT A STORY ABOUT HOW TRUMP IS LOVERS WITH EL CHAPO. THAT IS NOT A FUCKING NEWS STORY, GRIM!” UE: “I’m still here, you know. Who are you talking to? Who is this ‘Grim’? Are you two like lovers?” MC: “Something like that. We’re... well... wait a second, how is it I can understand you now? This is bullshit. From now on, I’m no longer doing these interviews. Fuck you, Grim.

JAMES BROWN WAS RIGHT

By Cervantes LeMans

STAFF SLAVE

ASSTOUNDING: “Look, I love the word ‘ass’ and any words that involves it. Assail, assassinate—ooh, two asses in that one—assault, askew. And so on. I could keep going but hey, I love ‘ass.’”

Local labled

Man wrongfully as a pervert

s the deceased James Brown once said, “…” Silent as he is now, the lively James Brown actually said, “Sometimes you struggle so hard to feed your family one way, you forget to feed them the other way, with spiritual nourishment. Everybody needs that.” Little did James Joseph Brown know, you could physically feed your family with what scientists call “H2Soul,” an invisible liquid that many non-believers deemed to be fake. It was discovered when researchers were experimenting on Canadian 17th century poet carcasses. They were testing to see if negative commentary on

their shitty poems triggered their dead bodies to physically roll in their graves (for the uninformed, “triggered” refers to an individual whose strongly rooted beliefs have been lightly made fun of or criticized which causes them to raise their public speaking levels to a Super Saiyan 2, and to slowly and painfully Kamehameha you with lectures of their G.E.D. “expertise knowledge” on the mattered subject. In short, don’t rustle their jimmies). Back on the subject, what researchers were unaware was that H2Soul reacted heavily to funk. “We were listening and singing to ‘I’m Black and I’m Proud’ by good ol’ Brown. Suddenly, we saw weird glowing substances moving in ripples and shaking. We stopped the music to examine it. Then, it just disappeared! After a while, we decided to play Doctor Andre Romelle Young’s songs. And

what do you know? We discovered H2Soul shaking and hustling.” said Ayit Mapu, Indian Chemical-technician from Suq Madiq University. Based on those findings, people began to measure their H2Soul and the possibility of using it as a form of currency. Sadly, we succeeded. As a result, thousands and thousands of American college students are taking out loans in exchange for their H2Souls. “I sold my H2Soul to some old fart name Old Nick. He said he ran some underground business loan and his old boss kicked him from the top. I guess he’s hip or something. Bunch of kids are taking out loans from this guy. He seems pretty chill,” reported Kumin Mehash, who now works in Hal’s Economic Legal Loans. In non-sequitur news, Harambe died 4 months ago.

3. Try anal (that means you, Brenda). All I wanted was the tip. 4. Before eating a sandwich, hang out your shoes on dental floss by a load-bearing pillar. Your shoes are out to kill you, trust me, I’m dead. 5. When listening to music, make sure you count your brussel sprouts by the roots, then grate your feet with a cheese grater. This lowers your risk of infection from nasty yarn worms. 6. Try having four dicks in your ass (this still means you, Brenda). Fuck you Brenda. I’ll eat your children. 7. Hire an assassin to kill you, but cancel it 3 seconds before the time you give him. Knowing when you are going to die gives you an advantage. Preventing your death makes you immortal. 8. Have someone sculpt your gravestone, but put someone else’s

name on it. If the gravestone doesn’t have your name on it, you can’t die. Logic. 9. Try giving 7 men a blowjob at once, Brenda. Seriously, fuck you Brenda. 10. Go fuck yourself Brenda. 11. Run a marathon ,with a chicken on your shoulder, and greet everyone you run by saying they are odd. The chicken is for gyro-stabalization, you’ll never trip. 12. Go to sleep with your left leg strung to the ceiling, and your right arm connected to a ceiling fan. Putting yourself close to death is the best way to avoid death: you’ll be too afraid to die to actually die. 13. Seriously, I fucking hate you Brenda.

TIPS FOR NOT DYING PREMATURELY

By Hector Trabajar

A COLONIC LISTER

MISSPELLING: A common misspelling leads to a misunderstanding. Aparently Joe Fruitbar stole actual pantries not panties, and was wrongfully framed as a pervert. The larger issue here is people not knowing how to pell pantry, which leads to cases such as these.

GUTTED

HOWTORUINYOURPARENT’SMARRIAGE...2 YO-YO ACCORDIANS.........................3 KITTENS WITH TAMPONS..................4 AN ASYMMETRICAL BOOBJOB........5 SATAN’S RAPEXPRESS AT 11........666 CHARLES MANSON LOVES BLACKS.7 FUCK ROGER GOODDEL...................8

e all want to stay alive, right? I mean, I’m dead, but that’s not the point. I’ve come up with a list that I think is a surefire way of staying alive and not dying quickly. The following are in no partifcular order, but in any case enjoy. I spent a lot of time on this. 1. Try swimming underwater without a skateboard. I heard this works for some. It’s like exercise, but with less risk of death. 2. Have a burly man carry you around on his shoulders, and then ask strangers for 15 cents. If you don’t walk then you lower your risk of stepping in pesky rusty bear traps.