MARCH - APRIL 2022
Community Activist RODNISHA FORD Speaks about Community Healing “One Action At A Time”
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EXC LUSIVE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! INTERVIE W!
SirGlen Allen
D&G’s Klassy Designs owner is blazing his own trails ○ HUSBAND ○STYLIST ○ DESIGNER ○INFLUENCER
SirGlen shares memories and insights about success in love, life, and business after the leap of faith to live his life as the Klassy Brother he was created to be
LET’S GET IT OUT! Mental Health is Health Talk it Out + Walk It Out + Sex It Out
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HOW TO HEAL A HOE
Byron Jamal's releases new book on how to overcome perceived "hoe-ness."
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HAPPY WOMEN’S H I S TO RY MONTH
Letting Go of the Life I thought I Would Have. One woman’s journey about her self-reflection on where her life is today!
THE MINDFULNESS ISSUE be intentional
VISIT TUVMAG.COM
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| THE UNLEASHED VOICE
#1 PRESCRIBED
HIV TREATMENT * *Source: IQVIA NPA Weekly, 04/19/2019 through 05/28/2021.
CHAD LIVING WITH HIV SINCE 2018 REAL BIKTARVY PATIENT
KEEP BEING YOU. Because HIV doesn’t change who you are.
BIKTARVY® is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in certain adults. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.
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Scan to see Chad’s story. THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
3
CON TEN TS
Ad Deadline April 12, 2022
Next Issue to May | June 2022
ALL PHOTOS OF SIRGLEN ALLEN BY Greg Lopez Photography
08‐10 Cover Story SirGlen Allen One Klassy Brother 06 | Editor’s Letter Gwendolyn D. Clemons
13 | Health & Wellness Dr. Umieca Hankton The Audacity of No
14 | Literary Corner Byron Jamal How To Heal A Hoe
15 | Literary Corner Parker Bryant Daisa’s Diary
12
Health & Wellness Jonita “Nita” McKinney Let’s Get It out
16 | Special Contributor Brodderick D. Roary It’s Worth The Wait: Why Intentional Relationships Are Better
19 | Spirituality Beth Trouy Doing Nothing is Something Worth Doing
20 | Entertainment
11 22
Relationship Feature 4
Adams-Hill Wedding Feature
| CONTENTS
Special Contributor Monika M. Pickett Women’s Month
Philly Muff One To Watch
21 | Community News Rodnisha Ford Community Healing “One Action At A Time”
Shawn M. Clemons Administration/ Fashion Director
Gregory Graphics Layout/Design
Monika M. Pickett Guest Contributor
Monick Monell Talent Director & New York Correspondent
Whitney Johnson Chief Editor
Kyra Bonet St James-Cassadine Transgender Correspondent
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CONTENTS |
5
Being Intentional Webster dictionary defines the word intentional as “something done on
purpose.” In my professional opinion
taking deliberate steps are one of the
most important actionable tools needed
to achieve any goal we set for ourselves.
ABOUT THIS ISSUE:
We say we want the best things in life,
The Mindful Issue is about offering
we want a successful career, a loving
committed relationship, to be healthy and wealthy. However, there will come a time, when you will have to put your money
where your mouth is and PROVE IT. The
truth of the matter is, it gets progressively hard to maintain a high degree of
discipline because the best students in life always get the hardest lessons.
I have learned that the way I see my
life, shapes my life. My perspectives
about myself will influence how others treat me, how I invest my time, spend
my money, use my gifts, and value my relationships. These views are my life
collective views from various writers to our readers. These articles are
intended to encourage you to play full out with your lives. Remember this… Your Mindset creates your reality!
ON THE COVER: SirGlen Allen is an author, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, designer, image
consultant, sought after stylist and an all-around “Klassy Brother.” SirGlen is
a native of Arkansas but now resides in Nashville, TN.
Gwendolyn D. Clemons MBA, MSM, PRC
Editor in Chief of TUV Media
metaphors, it is the views of my life that I have some control over. I believe that the more we begin to understand our
intentions about our lives, we will realize that nothing is insignificant in life.
Every day presents itself as an important day, and every second is a growth
opportunity to deepen our character, to demonstrate love, or deepen our
commitments on becoming intentional! Remember, that your time on earth will be brief, that our days are numbered,
and that life will be fleeting. We are only here on earth for just a little while…So,
be Mindful about who, what, when, and
where you invest your time. Be intentional about making the best use of your life because we won’t be here long…
"All things are working for my good, cause he’s intentional. Never failing, I know that all things are working for my good" Travis Greene
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| EDITOR’S LETTER
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
7
D&G’s Klassy Designs owner
SirGlen Allen— husband, stylist, designer, influencer — shares memories and insights about
success in love, life, and business after the leap of faith
to live his life as the Klassy
Brother he was created to be.
By TUV Staff
ALL PHOTOS OF SIRGLEN ALLEN BY Greg Lopez Photography
Q: Your website declares, “My mission is to take your ‘you’ and help you give it to the world.” How was it that you began, for yourself, to give your own “you” to the world? A: I was raised by my mother in the
COGIC church, the fifth out of my seven siblings. Out of all of us seven, I was the one always in church. I loved church so
much that when my mom punished me, she would just tell me I couldn't go to
church. She didn’t whip me or anything
8
| COVER STORY
like that. Instead, when the church van
would come and pick me up, she would just tell me, “No, you can't go tonight. So go to
I have to tell you.” And she said, “What's
I would cry like I had just gotten a whipping.
tired of keeping it a secret.” She said,
the door and tell them you can't come.” And So as a young boy, I became a leader in the church and a minister in the church. And the church would always speak against homosexuality, but I kind of knew who I
was as a young boy. Because of the church
and how I was raised, it was just something I kept inside and didn't say anything. I struggled with that for years.
So, I will never forget the day that, probably about 3:00 in the morning, I had just left a
club in Memphis after having a really good time on a Saturday night. I called my mom on my way home, and I was just crying.
She was like, “Are you okay? What's the
matter?” I said, “Well, there's something
going on?” I said, “Mom, I'm gay, and I'm “You're not telling me anything I didn’t
already know.” So that was a relief for me. My mom said to me, “Glen, I have no problem with that. You're my son. I love you.” And then she said, “You know me. You know
what I stand for. The only thing I would ask you to do is step down from the pulpit at
church.” It hurt me because at that time it made me feel like God didn't love me, and
like I couldn't be a Christian, couldn’t serve
and be gay at the same time. After that I still went to church sometimes, but no longer
frequented that often. I only found my way
back when I started getting to know God for
myself. Before I had felt like I was serving my
had what we called a ceremony in Memphis so our family and friends could attend locally. My mom, and my brothers and
sisters, and my husband's family were there. He has four children, and all his children
were at the wedding except his son because he was away in the military. And my mom
gave me away at the ceremony. Then the
next day we headed out to Washington, DC to be legally married there in an intimate moment between the two of us.
Q: Was there any conversation or preparation between you two about what life together was going to be like beyond the wedding?
mother's God, or my pastor’s God, and didn't
A: From Memphis to DC was about a 14-hour
Q: When and how was it that you ended up
During this time, we just had a conversation
really know God for myself.
drive, and we had no radio on the way there.
meeting your husband?
about what we were getting into, whether
A: My husband Dennis and I met around
life together, what the future would hold for
2010. I had seen him at church before, and when we got connected on social media,
we started messaging back and forth. One day he sent me a message, and for some
reason I never saw it until a year later when I was going back through Messenger one
day. So, I didn’t know if he was still available or anything but took a risk and reached
out to say, “Hey, I'm sorry. I never saw this
message. Please forgive me.” He responded later, “Oh, it's cool. It's okay.” And I said, “No, I'm sorry. Do me this favor. Allow me to take you to dinner, my treat.” At the time, I lived in Jonesboro, and he lived in Memphis. So
that weekend, he drove to Jonesboro, and I took him out to dinner, gave him a gift, a
big teddy bear, and told him again that I was sorry. It was that day that we officially met, and we have not been apart since.
He proposed in 2011, and we ended up
marrying before it was legal in our home
states of Tennessee and Arkansas, because those states didn't recognize gay marriage yet. Since we couldn't have a wedding, we
we were ready, what the plans were for our us. He visited my mom and asked her if he
could marry me, the whole nine. And she told him, “Hey, he’s, my son. I love him. All I ask is that you take care of him.” So that was my
conversation with him on the drive down. I said, “Are you going to make sure that I'm
good? If things happen, how will we resolve
our conflicts? Is divorce ever in our options?” We talked about all of that.
Q: Have there been any surprises for you about what it means to be a husband, or anything you’ve learned about being married that you hadn’t expected? A: I’m 38 now. I was in my mid-20s when we got married, and we’re 25 years apart. He
didn’t know if he was ready. I didn't know if I
was ready. But we were willing to take a risk
on each other because we loved each other. I think anything in life that you're unaware of is always going to be a risk. So, because we loved each other, because we cared about each other, we just decided to take a risk. He took a risk on me. I took a risk on him. And it was history.
COVER STORY |
9
I was the first in my family to participate in a
same-gender loving marriage, so everybody kind of looked at me differently. There was a lot that I didn't know as related to marriage, and I had nobody that I could look up to for what marriage means as a same-gender loving couple. Dennis had been married
before, but to a woman, so he had never been
in a gay marriage either. So, it was new for the both of us. There was no handbook for what we had. We made up the rules as we went.
For the first 10 years of our relationship, we never had one argument. People used to
ask us, “Have you had your first argument?” When we said, “No,” and people would be
like, “Are you serious? You've never argued?” One of the things about us though is that
we're great communicators. We try to make
sure that we sit down and discuss whatever happens and however it makes us feel.
So, by the time we did finally have our first
argument, I think that’s how we resolved it. Q: After the federal recognition of samesex marriage, did anything feel like it changed for you? A: It changed our point of view because
at first, we were quiet with it and wouldn't say much about us being married. But we had always talked about wanting to get
married again if gay marriage ever become legal. And I will never forget, we were in Atlanta at Bishop O.C. Allen’s church,
Vision Cathedral Church, for our Annual
Convocation. We were sitting in church and Dennis nudged me, showing me his phone, “Hey, they passed the law. It's legal now.
We're legal now.” So, we felt like we had to
do our marriage again under the right of it being legal. It was actually five years into
our marriage then, and we ended up having
I tell people all the time, “When you're doing bad, people are going to say something. When you're doing good, people are still going to say something. So, live your life for you.”
boutique, and started doing so many things
and we’re able to be who God has created
you're doing bad, people are going to
us to be, we have flourished. We have
flourished in life and in business. God has just done great things for us as a couple.
in different cities and states.
Then I started a nonprofit organization focused on speaking to teenagers,
to the community, to churches about
professionalism and how to dress for
success. And my business just skyrocketed from there. My company is called
D&G’s Klassy Designs, and the D&G is
for Dennis & Glen. It took off far greater
than I would have ever thought, and it was
because of the push of him as my husband saying, “Hey, do it. Let's make it happen. Let’s let you fulfill your dream.”
Q: What would you say to others who feel hesitant about making the commitment to get married, considering how rewarding it has been for you? A: “You’re damned if you do, and you’re
damned if you don’t. So just be damned
and do it.” I tell people all the time, “When say something. When you're doing good, people are still going to say something. So, live your life for you.”
a vow renewal ceremony for our five-year
Dennis comes from the corporate world,
I do sometimes sit and wonder what my life
beautiful than the first time around.
business. When we got together, I told him
going to be miserable and unhappy because
anniversary. That ceremony was even more Q: How would you say your marriage has contributed to who and where
so he was very knowledgeable about
I had a passion for hair and wanted to go
to hair school. So, he told me, “Hey, go to
you are today?
hair school.” I went to hair school, became
A: Now that we have become legally
hair for a few years. And hair was the segue
married, and we’re part of a great church,
10
| COVER STORY
a licensed hairstylist, and started doing
to really get me into fashion and style. So, I got into fashion and style, and opened a
would be like if I hadn’t come out. But I’m not of what somebody else says. Then they’re
getting their sleep at night, resting at night, while I'm tossing and turning afraid to do
what I want or be who I am. I don't want to live like that. So, I would tell people, "Find your
inner strength, and reach down inside of you, and be who God has created you to be."
The Adams-Hill Family
Photo Credit: Asuquo Travels
Antwain Donté and Joshua’s relationship motto is simple, “Writing our own love story with no one else’s pen!”
“What comes after Antwain Donté jumps
witnessed the proposal. Antwain Donté
Donté noticed Joshua on a social media site
2, 2022, at the indescribable Knotting Hill
into Joshua’s DM is breathtaking. Antwain (Instagram) and instantly followed him.
After watching Josh’s pictures, which he didn’t post often and viewing his stories
over and over again, Antwain Donté found the courage to message Josh on May
21st… “You are the most beautiful man I’ve
ever seen!” Josh responded with a generic message but that didn’t stop Antwain
Donté. He messaged him again asking to
take him on a date and Josh allowed him to know, “If you’re coming to Nashville, sure
lol!” That was all the invite Antwain Donté
and Joshua Jr. became one on February Place in Little Elm, TX. This enchanted
event fit for two kings was nothing less
than Royal & Regal. The love that exuded the venue was like fireworks one’s eye
has never seen. The two honeymooned
in Honolulu, Hawaii where they spent six
days inhaling each other exhale awaiting to begin this lifelong journey. The one thing they stand firm on is finding
someone who won’t stop fighting with
you. Someone willing to stay in the ring
even when staying in the ring is difficult.
needed to show Josh how interested he
Antwain Donté and Joshua’s relationship
Nashville to meet Josh, who never thought
story with no one else’s pen!” It’s easy
was. On May 26th Antwain Donté headed to would be his husband for the first time. The two held a long-distance relationship for
about 6 months before Josh relocated to Texas and Antwain Donté followed suit.
After growing, learning, much therapy, and undying love the two got engaged on May
22, 2021, in Hilton Head, SC. The two were
joined by a slew of family and friends. Who
motto is simple, “Writing our own love to get caught up in other people's
interpretations or thoughts of you, but what matters most is the thought you
have for yourself and your partner. The two are looking to begin the surrogacy process at the end of this year and expand their family.
With love, The Adams-Hill Family”
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
11
Let's Get It Out Mental Health is Health By Jonita "Nita" McKinney, LMSW, HS-BCP
Don’t harbor pain, anger,
frustration, and other negative emotions that prevent you
from being the best version of yourself. It’s important
to communicate with those you trust, whether that’s
on FaceTime, WhatsApp or Duo for you Android users. Sometimes it’s hard to
verbalize what we’re feeling so you can do something simple
like sending a text message or
writing a letter to someone you can trust. Find and regularly
talk to a therapist. Understand that if you haven’t spoken
about your emotions regularly
in the past, at first you will feel
uncomfortable. However, being able to open up and share
something that you’ve been
keeping to yourself for a long
time, can make you feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted. You never know, the person
you’re talking to may identify
with your experiences, in turn making you feel less alone. WALK IT OUT If you’re feeling depressed or
sad, try to walk it out. Working and body. Things like self-
esteem and anxiety can also be addressed with a regular workout regimen. Working
out also helps you improve your motivation. We know
motivation can be a barrier to
achieving many of the personal
12
| HEALTH & WELLNESS
These can be easy things that you can implement into your daily routine. You can walk
the dog, walk the kids, walk
anything that has legs to get your steps in! Walking with a
friend or a neighbor, just to help jump-start a workout regimen
can also help because you have
someone else that can hold you accountable. Remember, this is
also going to be difficult at first, but practice makes patterns. The more you workout the easier it will get. SEX IT OUT Chile, I know you’re like what?! When people hear the word sex and mental health, they
think that these things are not related. Research tells us that
these things go hand and hand. Sex can be stigmatized even in the therapy communities,
but slowly and surely, we are
turning the tide as a profession
sex can improve your mood
contact a sex therapist. They
much sex can affect mental
the endorphins and oxytocin
concerns in a non-judgmental,
as we fully understand how
health. The movement focused on sex and body positivity, the greater acceptance
of LGBTQIA+ and gender-
diverse identities, as well as the thriving sexual wellness
industry, are expanding new
approaches to sex and mental health. The more comfortable we become talking about sex with decrease the stigma,
leading to improved mental
health outcomes. Amazingly,
and relax your mind because of released during sex. Sex
helps to improve anxiety,
will allow you to discuss your supportive environment.
depression, and a number of
other mental health conditions. Intimacy with your dedicated partner can not only deepen
your connection but can also
help to make your day-to-day
interactions healthier. If you’re having consistent issues
related to sexual encounters with your dedicated partner, it may be a great idea to
" "Nita McKin a t n ni
ey
out can improve your mind
goals we make for ourselves.
Jo
TALK IT OUT
the words "let me think about it"
from the hassles of real life
your kids tonight (tension in
is to decline. It is okay to offer
and tune into the breath-
snatching world created by
Shonda Rhimes. From Private
Practice to Grey's Anatomy to How to Get away with Murder and now Station 19, I remain
invested in how these ShondaLand characters cope with
life's unexpected changes.
When Shonda's book, "The
Year of Yes," was published,
as a devoted fan, I purchased
my copy. I spent most of 2017 and 2019 saying "yes" to
experiences that caused me to step outside my comfort zone personally and professionally. Without fail, my greatest
successes and revelations
came from my willingness to
sit in discomfort. This path of curiosity led me to examine
further how I moved about in
the world. Honestly, it opened my eyes to the painful truth that I frequently said, "yes," to invitations and people
undeserving of my time, talents, and treasures. As a result
of chronic yeses, my health
suffered. My body ached all the time and exhaustion became
the norm. I needed to learn to
I'll adjust my plans to watch
the shoulders). Yes, I'll let you borrow money to pay your
electric bill (elevated heart rate). Yes, I'll listen to you tell me for
the 50'leventh time your plans to leave a toxic relationship
(fatigue). Yes, I'll volunteer my
time and talents to your worthy cause (insomnia).
Here’s the thing, I know society tells us to make ourselves available to those in need because it is honorable.
However, society should also
listen to every airline that flies the friendly skies and tell us
to grab the oxygen masks and
something and the moment you said, "yes," you felt a cringing sensation in your stomach
or the urge to run away? Our
bodies send us messages when we engage in activities that
we should probably abort. For example, yes, I'll work a few
extra hours to help you finish
without judgment, which is the very definition of mindfulness.
Now, this is where the feathers
may ruffle. If you have agreed to do something and later decide that following through on your "yes" will cost you more than
you are willing to spend, then you can rescind your "yes."
Rescinding your yes will present some consequences and you get to decide how you will
manage those consequences moving forward.
invitation to each of you to
messages could result in
avoidable physical and mental
health complications, ultimately costing us money and time.
Saying "NO" is a form of self-
care and self-love necessary for wellness. If you do not
believe me, test this theory for yourself. Notice how you feel
physically and mentally the next time you agree to do something you don't want to do.
inner voice tells you before
Have you ever agreed to do
in the present moment, and
Ignoring our body's internal
first before helping others.
needed to learn to say "no" to my health and wellness.
your "NO" must be intentional,
As we enter the second quarter
When asked to consider a
experiences that compromised
others a mindful no. However,
place them over our faces
say "yes" to experiences that scared me for growth. I also
cross your lips if the inclination
request, take note of what your responding. If the request does not produce peace, profit, or
pleasure, decline immediately.
of 2022, I extend a heartfelt
consider the following, if you so desire (of course):
1. What are you saying "yes" to that no longer satisfies you?
2. Who are the people you feel inclined to pacify, despite
your inner voice screaming "ABORT" mission?
3. What needs to happen for you to channel your inner
Miss Sophia and boldly say, "HELL NO?"
Dr. U
By Dr. Umieca N. Hankton
your project (headache). Yes,
2007, I unashamedly detach
a N . Ha iec n m
on kt
The AUDACITY of NO
Most Thursday nights since
Permit yourself the audacity to unapologetically deny
requests, regardless of the
person making the request.
There is no need to follow up a declined statement with
an explanation or apology. According to the rules of
assertive communication, "NO"
is a complete sentence. Let not
Dr. Umieca N. Hankton is a Licensed Clinical
Psychologist and Executive Director of UNH Counseling Services. She mindfully offers
trauma-informed behavioral health services to individuals who identify as Black, POC,
LGBTQ+, and others historically excluded.
The information shared in this article is for awareness purposes only.
13
LITERARY CORNER
How to HEAL a HOE I
n his new book, HOW TO HEAL A
HOE, Byron Jamal AKA the Love Guru
combines the spiritual principles he
preached as an LGBTQ+ pastor with the practical everyday techniques he uses today in his live seminars and digital
programs. Released on Valentine’s Day, the book coaches’ gay men on how to
ditch destructive sexual traits and learn to love themselves, their bodies and their passions, as they are; as God created them to be.
“Sex is natural and an integral part of
adult life,” says Byron Jamal, the former pastor turned Love Guru. “However,
despite sharing it with lovers, partners, and even strangers, many of us feel uncomfortable discussing sex.”
B
l
When Mr. Jamal recognized how his own
o n J a ma r y
sexual hang-ups were harming people around him and himself, he decided
to dig deeper into its source. He
confronted his sexual shame, the trauma from his past, and the stigma he was
...despite sharing it with lovers, partners, and even strangers, many of us feel uncomfortable discussing sex. 14
| THE UNLEASHED VOICE
carrying, and decided to abandon
conventional views on sex and sexuality and develop his own approach to sex.
In HOW TO HEAL A HOE, the Love Guru combines the spiritual principles he
preached as a pastor with the practical everyday techniques he uses today in
his practice as a Love Guru. He coaches men and women — single, married, and of all sexual orientations — on how to
overcome their perceived "hoe-ness."
Byron Jamal is the founder of the
Extraordinary Love Academy and
Beloved Community, which serves
thousands of diverse men and women through live seminars and digital
programs. As a bisexual love healer,
Byron is able to aid all types of people regardless of their sexual orientation.
HOW TO HEAL A HOE will be available on Amazon. www.byronjamal.com @byronjamal
He also serves as a love coach for
singles and couples. He splits his time between teaching love and spiritual practices and spending time with friends and family.
LITERARY CORNER
Daisa's Diary arKer Bryant has released BlackQueer erotica audio
series DAISA'S DIARY for an immersive experience; it premiered on Heart Beats
& Mind Stutters & YouTube on January 8. "I am excited about this creation. Daisa's Diary is inspired by BlackQueer life and love. It's our experience without the costumes of fairytales. Anyone can
relate to the realness in this story,” said Bryant. "As we journey with Daisa in her memories and open up our very own
black boxes, we are able to feel a little less judged and a little less afraid to explore pleasure and love."
DAISA'S DIARY is a six-episode audio season first released as a short story
eBook during the first lockdown of the pandemic (March 2020). The series
character Daisa, who unfolds herself
to curate an innovative engagement
with narratives that center our ability to use our minds as the ultimate
travel vessels into our memories and
future. Readers get the opportunity to
experience a storyline beyond the pages with narrative-experience relevant
journal prompts & affirmations, sex &
pleasure education community chats with experts, virtual art exhibits, and
much more. "I'm extremely proud of the well thought project. I built this literacy
experience with the power of our mind(s) and healing capabilities in my heart,"
...we can feel a little less judged and a little less afraid to explore pleasure and love.
Bryant concludes.
DAISA'S DIARY was created by ParKer
Bryant; co-curated by Dominique C. Hill.
e r B r ya K r
nt
follows the journal entry of the main
'The Immersive Experience' mission is
Pa
P
to the audience through reflective
journaling detailing painful, sexual,
and potentially healing experiences
all while preparing to meet a person she met on social media.
LISTEN TO DAISA'S DIARY. Episode 1 & 2 on Anchor. www.blackqueerheal.com DEEPEN THE CONNECTION @parkerslove_ @theparkerbryant ParKerBryantBABL Heart Beats & Mind Stutters Newsletter: Green Tea & Lime Water THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
15
It’s Worth the Work:
Why Intentional Relationships Are Better By Brodderick D. Roary
B
efore we get into why
intentional relationships
are better, we need to establish what exactly they are. The
dictionary defines intentional as “done on purpose;
deliberate.” This meaning plays an important role in what an intentional relationship is. It
involves being active instead
of passive and making things
happen rather than waiting for them to happen to you.
Intentional relationships are
not convenient relationships; dating someone simply
because he or she is around
all the time (i.e. conveniently located in your life) rather
than having a real romantic connection to them. They
aren’t short term, and they are not dictated by the superficial things: physical attraction,
monetary reasons, friends with benefits, etc. When you enter
into an intentional relationship
you are proving that you’re in it for the long run.
You fight the hard fights and learn how to work and grow together as a couple. This
type of relationship means
not giving up when things get tough. Conflict is inevitable,
and instead of running away from it, you run towards it,
ready to tackle it together. This sounds like a lot of work, right? So why are intentional relationships better?
Like anything, hard work pays
off. The following are just a few
of the many benefits that apart of intentional relationships:
16
| THE UNLEASHED VOICE
your time with. They’re the
person whom which you share everything– they know your
secrets, your fears, your good
THEY ARE MORE SUCCESSFUL IN THE LONG RUN: It’s common for relationships to drift, even romantic ones. After so many years and
children together, drifting can
be natural. But those who aren’t in intentional relationships
don’t care enough to prevent the emotional separation.
Part of being in an intentional relationship is noticing when
distance begins and finding a
way to combat it. These unions have a much better chance at longevity than others. INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS ARE STRONGER: As mentioned earlier, conflict
and arguments are inevitable,
but in intentional relationships, you work through the conflict by practicing appropriate
conflict management. You learn how to be open and honest
with one another. The more
you communicate through your problems instead of letting
them win, the more you’ll grow closer to one another. INTENTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS MAKE BOTH PARTNERS HAPPIER: Your partner is the person
When you are intentional in pursuing someone, it is because you recognize that the person is a gift, and you desire to treat them as such… 1 COR 13: 4-7
parts and your bad parts – and
MAKE TIME FOR
But they can only be THAT
Life will inevitably get in the
relationship is intentional.
come up. Set a weekly date
they love you regardless.
EACH OTHER.
person for you if your
way, and something will always
Having somebody you love
this much and can rely on to
that extent, leads to an overall
healthier and happier lifestyle. Wanting an intentional
relationship is great, but
maintaining one is the hard
part. Here are some tips on
how to ensure your relationship stays intentional:
BRING THE BEST OF YOURSELF INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. Continue to uphold your values and morals. Listen well, love
well, and show gratitude and
appreciation for your partner. SUPPORT YOUR PARTNER IN THEIR DREAMS AND
night that you aren’t allowed to miss, no matter the excuse.
ESTABLISH DAILY RITUALS TOGETHER. While the big things are
important, it’s the little things that add up. Find time every
day to spend together – read the paper and enjoy a cup of
coffee each morning or go on an evening stroll through the neighborhood.
Intentionality keeps in mind that love is a gift. To love is to make a gift of yourself
to another. Intentionality is
authentic because when we
are intentional, especially in
moments when it’s challenging
AMBITIONS.
or uncomfortable, we are
Believe in and support your
love the person. Love is patient
partner. Use your time and energy to invest in them.
GIVE MORE THAN YOU TAKE. If the two of you continually do this, you will both constantly
strive to be better for the other.
making a conscious effort to
and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or
rude. Love does not insist on
its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
who you likely spend most of
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
17
18| CONTENTS
Doing Nothing is Something Worth Doing By Beth Trouy
other responsibilities, there’s
Creativity is at its highest
Studies also show that working
peaceful stillness. Doing nothing
little time left for idleness.
more does not coincide with
more productivity. In fact, the opposite is true. Productivity
declines as does performance after a certain amount of
time. The Centers for Disease
Control show more injuries and
performance decline when one goes beyond 9 hours of work.
Fatigue, cognitive sluggishness and distraction increase as
our brains struggle to stay on
task. Combine that with multi-
tasking and we have a recipe for accidents. It’s no surprise that people who regularly work 60
W
hen was the last time
you sat still in complete
silence for more than 10
minutes? No music, no company, no phone. Nothing. Silence.
Stillness. No, sleeping does not
count and neither does praying. I’m talking about intentionally taking yourself off the grid for the explicit purpose of
deliberately paying attention to your thoughts and sensations without judgment; being fully present to yourself in a void
of silence. Just 10 minutes to sit and hear your breathing
without thinking of work and all the things you need to be
doing. What I’m referring to is an intentional mindfulness of oneself in the present, which
is a form of meditation. If you
can’t recall the last time you meditated, you are in good
company. It’s rare these days that anyone chooses to be
mindfully idle with no agenda
other than to be. Perhaps this is
also why we are all more anxious than ever and finding it harder to cope with life.
For a country who works more
hours per person than any other country in the world, we can’t
conceive of “wasting” time doing nothing. A recent Gallup survey
showed that not only are 50% of Americans averaging 47 hours of work per week, but some of us (18%) are working weekly
more than 60 hours. And that’s
just our job hours. If we calculate our work at home and our
or more hours a week have an
average life span that is 15 years
less than the national population. Between balancing work, home
responsibilities, and community commitments, there’s little time left for idle thought.
Doing nothing seems like such
a waste of time. How can we do nothing when there’s always
things that need to be attended to and projects waiting to be
completed? But doing nothing
IS doing something. In fact, it’s
during the times of idleness that
our brains regenerate, replenish, and recover. This state of
mindful focus on nothingness is
more important than work itself.
when our brains are relaxed in is exactly what we need most
when we are experiencing the stress of being too busy.
Mindfulness not only restores our inner peace but it also
provides the gift of clarity. Going
off the grid and taking a moment to still the mind allows us time
to process and regain a clearer
vision. We force unruly children into “timeout” with their faces
in the corner of a room so they can calm down. It’s too bad we can’t do the same for adults. We often don’t know what is
best for us at the moment any better than a 4-year-old. We
would do much better to take a time out and go sit in a corner in silence rather than heading
to the bar, scanning videos on our phones or trying to cram
in “one more thing.” If only we
had adult “mindfulness zones” expertly placed in high stress areas where we could detach
from all stimuli and power down for a time. Are you looking for something to do to help with your anxiety?
Try doing nothing.
We have much more likelihood of coming up with fresh ideas when we are mindfully idle.
SPIRITUALITY |
19
Philly Muuff By Monick Monell TUV New York Correspondent
A
s an independent artist you have to “come through as
a force, as a woman they look
and treat you differently right at
the door in this music business,” Philly Muuff vocalized to New York correspondent Monick
Monell about her outlook on
life. She wears many hats, one
as a tattoo artist, she also owns her own clothing company and
Be confident
andremember if
is looking forward to having her
you like it, they
Starting at the young age of 16
She is working on her new
grow into her art. Muuff shared
in numerous collaborations.
music in film and video games. Philly Muuff was beginning to
that Capt’n Teno saw her talent
around the age of 18. He became a brother figure and right-hand
man who later merged their music with the videos he engineered. I ask other promoters who’ve
worked with Philly Muuff at their respective clubs. She’s known
for hosting events such as speed dating, podcasts and fashion
shows. The consensus agreement was that “she is phenomenal, and
that watching Philly Muuff perform
will love it!
EP and has been included Follow her social media
handles to catch up on her continuing success.
What I enjoyed most about
interviewing Philly Muuff was her all-round approach to
bringing life in her words. Her music is for the masses, and
she is doing the work. She is
booked, busy and making sure others know to keep going.
equals to a house party vibe.”They
Special Thanks, to Danielle
to truly understand her impactful
ounder of 7th.
stressed that you have to attend sound. Muuff is known for her hits “Snickers, Stupid Dummy and Muuff Boondocks Outro
freestyle.” As her fan base expands in numbers. I’m looking forward to attending her first live show.
Q: What would you tell new artists who are just coming into the scene?
20
A: Be intentional,
| ENTERTAINMENT
Erwin owner and
Seed Productions for the network connects nd for shining the light on great artists and films.
Find Philly Muuff on Spotify.
Her newest single is Innards. @Muuffinnisbitch @philly.muuff
Search her videos for Snickers Boondocks, Outro Freestyle and Stupid Dummy
Community Healing “ONE ACTION AT A TIME” by Rodnisha Ford
system failing Black people.
Gnawing our way through the wreckage of our mangled
bodies born of trauma, we
have nowhere to turn in times of pain. Tired and unwell, we desperately seek an
outstretched hand to save
us and soon realize that no hand
will ever come. Sink or swim, live or die, this defines
the treatment of Black bodies in healthcare.
My disdain for such historically horrific treatment of Black people, especially Black
women, has always grown silently, attacking white
supremacy within the comfort
of my mind. In 2018 my silence bloomed into passionate fury
as I questioned the inaccessible rates and blatant disregard
for Black communities within the health spaces around
me. That year I worked at a
holistic mental health office
where practitioners preached wellness for everyone but
seeking aid. In one incident, I remember being told to stay
on high alert of a “potentially
dangerous man” that had found
his way into the office. I saw the young gentleman in question
and realized that he was simply a Black man. When asked what he needed, he shared that he
just moved to LA from Brooklyn and was looking for help. He wasn’t a threat. The office
was in no danger. I let it sink
my archaic mindset and shifted
out of reach of the healthcare
space for Black people. It didn’t
out of the United States and
Our existence is revolutionary;
everyone” didn’t have a healing have a healing space for me.
That same year, my mother, only
53 years young, was hospitalized and fighting for her life. Doctors labeled her predicament as
“complications during surgery", but failed to mention that the
complications were due to an unrelated mistake made by
the surgeon years prior during a previous surgery. Doctors overlooked and covered up this fatal error. Rooms over,
another family grieved a loss at
the hands of the same surgeon. At this moment, I realized that my mother’s doctors did not
sufficiently educate themselves or any of their patients on
potentially safer alternatives
to harmful and, in some cases, unnecessary surgery. Even
worse is the doctors’ lack of
accountability, and the hospital's steadfast commitment to cover up fatal mistakes at the cost of Black and Brown bodies. This
is the nature of the healthcare
system that led to my mother’s life hanging in the balance.
By the time we had medical
records and staff stories put
together, all the pieces spelled out neglect. On the table they
saw a Black woman and deemed her unworthy of life. A few
months later she died, and a part of me did too.
In the midst of my grief and
despair, I completely dismantled
system’s death grip.
into a new perspective. I moved
it is only fitting that our
found solace in Thailand to
healing is as well.
take time to heal my own body, mind, and spirit. I vowed not
There is no more time for
to work for anyone other than
games; the Revolution is now
myself as I create holistic
and we are standing on the
healing spaces for Black and
front lines. This movement
Queer communities. I began
is far bigger than my desire
to understand that due to lack
to stay comfortable, so I am
of access to information and
here—climbing through the grit
resources, Black people are
in order to inform and heal our
stuck in a healthcare system
people. I work to give access
that is determined to keep us
to resources that a white
unwell. I acknowledge that this
supremacistt system tries to
simply will not do anymore, so I
keep us from. I fight to keep us
launched Creative Wholeness
alive. The movement lives in me
(creative-wholeness.com), a
as my mother’s legacy lives on.
holistic health and wellness
I stand for all those who don’t
organization determined to
yet know that they can, and I
cultivate self expression and
creativity as a way to decolonize our healing spaces. Through
will not stop until Black, Brown
and Queer folx are reconnected with a holistic sense of
this work, I offer one-on-
community wellness on all
one health coaching, group
wellness sessions, and intensive workshops that are designed to
levels of mind, body, and spirit.
Because we fucking deserve it.
help address counterproductive behavior patterns and restore our mind-body connection.
Using an integrative and trauma mindful approach, I teach
o
isha Fo n d
rd
blatantly shunned Black people
in that this “healing space for
R
I
am tired of the U.S. healthcare
basic practical tools that help sustain wellness by utilizing our body’s natural ability to
restore itself. I operate through a holistic framework rooted
in acknowledging all aspects of physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and social needs
Freelance Writer
as they influence wellness.
r.l.ford13@gmail.com
goal—it keeps us healthy and
She/Her/They/Them
Preventative care is the ultimate
blackgirlwrites.com
THE UNLEASHED VOICE |
21
wellness. I no longer recognized
the alert of trauma upon hearing
worth was shattered. As I look
middle of the night. My ability
myself. I felt gutted as my self-
the whirring of a helicopter in the
back, I know that it was my faith
that carried me through the darkest hours. But it hasn’t been easy.
surgery within forty-five days.
Each day, I became stronger.
were limited due to the Covid-19
by thinking of someone other
My visits with family and friends
My willpower was strengthened
pandemic. Hopelessness set
than myself. As infection spread
in as I drifted through a fog of
drug-induced hallucinations. Day by day, I began to waste away, both mentally and physically.
This couldn’t possibly be my life. I
prayed and asked God to continue to give me the strength and
guidance to endure. I willed myself not to not give up.
to someone else will make you feel
empty” kind of person. But as
I’ve aged, that belief has been
continuously tried and tested,
stretched beyond my imagination. I admit it, I felt sorry for myself. I thought God had forgotten
about me as I mourned a life I had always dreamed of but
never seemed to attain: A wife to grow old with; loyal friends who
wouldn’t betray me; the blessings of good health and wellness.
Being diagnosed several years ago with a chronic illness for
which there is no cure changed
my life forever and permanently
challenged my expectations around
22
| THE UNLEASHED VOICE
limbs in a traumatic accident
calmed my anxiety as well as
my spirit. By the grace of God,
I’ve healed from many traumas, some that I never speak of to
anyone. I will not abandon hope
better. One evening, I saw stress
God will give me a life better than I ever dreamed of. Sorrow will be restored with a joy that makes
and fatigue on the face of one of
my nurses as she administered my medication. She looked surprised when I inquired about how she
was holding up given the influx
me understand why things had to happen the way they did.
UNTIL THEN, I AM EXACTLY WHERE I’M MEANT TO BE.
of Covid-19 patients. She told
me that she and the other nurses
were terrified for themselves and
their families. She confessed that spent a lot of time in my room.
She stated that I rarely rang my
call button and that I was one of
Mo
she felt guilty because she hadn’t
ka ni
M. Pi
ck
t
half full” versus a “glass half
of someone possibly losing their
et
pride myself on being a “glass
blessed I still was. The thought
would have. If I remain obedient,
you’re going through, being kind
I
through my limbs, I realized how
by mourning the life I thought I
I once read that no matter what
By Monika M. Pickett
going through somewhere in the
life was worse for someone else.
alone in the hospital after a third
of the Life I Thought I Would Have
perspective. No matter what I was world, perhaps in the next room,
This past Thanksgiving, I was
LETTING GO
to empathize put things into
her best patients. Her eyes teared up when I responded. What right did I have to become inpatient
when she could not refresh my
ice immediately because she had a patient who was coding? Who
was I to become belligerent simply
because my coffee was lukewarm? Her face softened when I shared that I had been a medic in the
Army. She became engrossed with my recollections of working in a field hospital. I know that “code
blue” means a patient is in cardiac or respiratory arrest. I know that “code white” means a patient is
combative or violent. I recognize
Monika M. Pickett is a veteran of the United States Army. She is the author of the #1 International Best-Selling novel Pretty Boy Blue, Second Edition, and its sequel The Darkest Shade of Blue, available on Amazon. Pickett is an advocate for the LGBTQ community. For more information on Monika M. Pickett, please visit, MonikaMPickett.com
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