THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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COVER: XFE 25 THIS SATURDAY 11 LOCAL BEAT
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GUIDE 5 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Weird, but true stories from here and around the globe
8 CONCERT BEAT Concert listings from many places
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THIS WEEK
VOL.1 ISSUE 6 • OCTOBER 27 - NOV 2, 2010 ISSUE 152. AUGUST 14 - 20, 2013
10 CLUB & PUBS
We are working on it but need your help please send info
BEAT 11 LOCAL Each week we comment on local or national talent.
12 HOT SHOTS
Maybe we snapped a pic of you, check it out!
ALBUM REVIEW 16 Done by The Bone’s - Scotty Brilliant
TOPCrashSPINS & MOVIE REVIEW 17 Gina from The Bone’s Top 10 Radio Hits. & A movie review GUITAR CIRCUS 23 FRAMPTON’S Elle Spaulding gives us all the riffs in this Musikfest concert review SEVENFOLD 25 AVENGED Nick Gaskins does a top notch review of Musikfest’s final act 32 ZODIAC Your astrology for the week
12 HOT SHOTS 47 MODEL BEAT 47
44 JOKES & COMICS A few chuckles to get you through the week
MODEL BEAT Last, but certainly not least your model of the week
Welcome to The Valley Beat Newspaper! Lehigh Valley’s Hottest Alternative Newspaper. Distributed at more than 600 locations across the Lehigh Valley, Reading, Upper Bucks County & the Poconos Contact Information: Fax: 484-229-0506 thevalleybeat@gmail.com • valerie@thevalleybeat.com clubinfo@thevalleybeat.com • distribution@thevalleybeat.com classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Please Note: The content in this paper does not necessarly represent the views of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat Bands That Rock, The Valley Beat are registered trademarks of the The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Any content may not be reproduced without permission or written consent of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. Local Beat - Bands That Rock are a Registered Trademark #3342218 within in the state of Pennsylvania. Any Material submitted becomes the property of The Valley Beat Newspaper, Inc. The Valley Beat reserves the right to refuse advertising or content. The Valley Beat is not liable for any errors discovered, or any changes after an ad has been printed.
Editor: Valerie L. Keiper Creative Director: Don Junz Model Beat: Scott Church & William Kofron Contributor: Mitch | Columinists: Elle Spaulding Camille Capriglione | Nick Gaskins | A.J. Fritz
Cover Design: Rae Kauffman Album Review: Scotty Brilliant Weekly Top 10: Gina Crash Hot Shots: Showgun Photography
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
Premier entertainment COMING TO vision Bar PoP Rox with DJ KiD AV
DJ CoVA • 9pm-midnight miller lite girls will be handing out prizes and giveaways • enter to win a vip atlantic city getaway for 4 people! • $3 miller lite aluminum pints
FRIDAY, AUGUST 16
SATURDAY, AUGUST 17
DigitAl getDown with DJ FReezie
DJ ADRiAno
DJ n9ne
FRIDAY, AUGUST 23
SATURDAY, AUGUST 24
SATURDAY, AUGUST 31
FRIdAyS At VISION BAR
SAtuRdAyS At VISION BAR
2.50 drafts 10PM – Midnight Relaxed dress code
10pm – 2am • $10 Cover Charge Dress to impress
Live Music every Friday 10pm – 2am $ 6 Cover Charge $
World Class DJs spinning the hottest dance music
Join us Before and after every show at the sands Bethlehem event Center!
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/VISIONBARPA
@VISIONBARPA
VISIONBARPA.COM
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY - GOVERMENT IN ACTION
ZERO TOLERANCE
--The National Security Agency is a “supercomputing powerhouse,” wrote
--Second-grader Josh Welch’s two-day suspension in March was upheld on appeal in
ProPublica.org in July, with “machines so powerful their speed is measured in
June by Park Elementary School officials of Anne Arundel County, Md., even though his
thousands of trillions of operations per second” -- but apparently it has no ability to bulk-search its own employees’ official emails. Thus, ProPublica’s Freedom
offense was that he had nibbled a pastry into the shape of a gun, which he then waved
of Information Act demand for a seemingly simple all-hands search was turned
putting him out of school, how are they going to deal with 17-year-olds?”
down in July with the NSA informing ProPublica that the best it could do would
around. Said Josh’s attorney: “If this (school system) can’t educate a 7-year-old without
PEOPLE WITH ISSUES
be to go one-by-one through the emails of each of the agency’s 30,000 employees
--Firefighters are not infrequently called on to extricate adventurous men from sex toys, but
-- which would be prohibitively expensive. (ProPublica reported that companywide searches are “common” for large corporations, which must respond to judicial subpoenas and provide information for their own internal investigations.)
one “armor-plat(ed)” device, six inches in diameter, into which the 51-year-old German en-
UPDATES --It took a year and a half of legal wrangling over a technicality, but Marshall University was finally dropped in June as one of the defendants
trapped himself in July in Ibiza, Mallorca, was especially challenging, according to the Diario de Mallorca newspaper, and took two hours and a dose of anesthesia toward the end. The saw blade the emergency workers used wore out during the rescue and had to be replaced, along with two sets of batteries. The man was kept overnight at Can Misses hospital, but was otherwise OK.
RECURRING THEMES
in Louis Helmburg III’s lawsuit for his injuries when fellow party-goer
--To commemorate its 500th “deep brain stimulation” surgery in May, UCLA Medical Center
Travis Hughes shot bottle rockets out of his posterior in 2011. Helmburg,
live-Tweeted its operation on musician Brad Carter, 39, during which he was required to strum
some will recall, was so startled by Hughes’ stunt that he fell off the rail-
his guitar and sing so that surgeons would know where in his brain to plant the electrical
less deck at a fraternity party staged by Alpha Tau Omega of Marshall
stimulator that would relieve his Parkinson’s disease symptoms. Carter had developed hand
University. Hughes and the fraternity remain as defendants in the January 2012 lawsuit. --The Mexican economy has improved markedly since News of the Weird first mentioned the EcoAlberto theme park in the central state of Hidalgo
tremors in 2006, but the stimulator, once it is properly programed and the surgery healed, is expected to reduce his symptoms, restore some guitar-playing ability. --Americans stage dog shows, and Middle-Easterners stage camel beauty contests, and in June, the annual German Holstein Show took over the city of Oldenburg, with the two-day event won by “Loh Nastygirl,” topping bovine beauties from Germany, Luxembourg and Austria.
in 2005, which offers an attraction simulating the rigors of border-jump-
The event is also a showcase for the cow hairdressers, who trim cows’ leg and belly hair (to
ing. In 2005, it was thought that many of the attendees were using the
better display their veins). Said one dresser, “It is just like with us people -- primping helps.”
setup to improve their chances of sneaking into the U.S., but now park
Groomed or not, cows with powerful legs, bulging udders and a strong bone structure are the
officials believe nearly all are being discouraged, with the improving
favorites.
economy (and stepped-up U.S. enforcement) helping. The ordeal is played out as a three-hour game, with “U.S. Border Patrol” agents using sirens, dogs and verbal threats, and chasing the players into the night. --Final Chapter for America’s Most Overconfident Murderer: Anthony Garcia, 25, was convicted in July for a 2004 murder he had apparently gotten away with. He had been subsequently arrested in 2008 for driving on a suspended license, and a cold-case Los Angeles detective, perusing arrest reports, noticed Garcia’s unusual chest tattoo, which depicted a scene that reminded the detective of the crime scene in the cold-case murder, with Garcia (street name, “Chopper”) having labeled himself as the shooter. Garcia, previously home free, was arrested in his cell and now faces life in prison.
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
--Briar MacLean, 13, of Calgary, Alberta, was reprimanded by school officials in May (and then also lost an appeal) after he stepped between two students because one, holding a knife, was bullying the other. The vice principal appeared to regard Briar’s action as equal to that of the bully, telling Briar’s mother later that the school does not “condone heroics,”. --Some crime-scene investigative techniques seem far-fetched, as News of the Weird has reported, but police use of “ear prints” might be approaching the mainstream. Britain convicted its first burglar based on an ear print in 1998, and in May 2013, investigators in Lyon, France, tied a 26-year-old man from the Republic of Georgia to a string of about 80 burglaries -- by taking prints from doors the man had leaned against while listening for activity inside the home. --The behavior of women descending upon New York City stores in June for the annual “sale” on designer shoes is nonetheless a spectacle. The event makes the city’s upscale commercial district look like “an insane asylum of very well-dressed women,” reported The New York Times. The shoes’ everyday prices require, wrote the Times, “the willful suspension of rational thinking.” The average transaction for example, a pair of wicker-basket-like sandals ($1,995 by Charlotte Olympia) Prices are so unhinged, according to the Times, that standards from the iconic “Sex and the City” designer Manolo Blahnik are now low-price leaders, holding at about $595
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(Are you ready for News of the Weird Pro Edition? Every Monday at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com and www.WeirdUniverse.net. Other handy addresses: WeirdNews at earthlink dot net, and P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679.) COPYRIGHT 2013 CHUCK SHEPHERD DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, Mo. 64106
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
CONCERT BEAT
CHAMELEON CLUB, Lancaster, PA TICKETS 717-393-7713
Endless Summerfest, Aug 22-23 Hank III, Sep 4 Twiztid, Sep 6 Doug Stanhope, Sep 20
TICKETS 212-307-7171 Rod Stewart, Dec 9
CROCODILE ROCK, Allentown, PA TICKETS 610-434-4600
MAUCH CHUNK OPERA HOUSE, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0249 The Dustbowl Revival, Aug 15 Billy Burnett Band, Aug 30 Deb & Bev’s Blues Night Out, Aug 31
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA AT CASEY PLAZA, Wilkes Barre, PA TICKETS 570-920-7600
MOUNT AIRY CASINO RESORT, Mount Pocono TICKETS 877-682-4791 Thunder from Down Under, Jul 5-Aug 31 Jeff Ross, Sep 14 Amy Schumer, Oct 5
Selena Gomez, Oct 18 Pearl Jam, Oct 21-22
MUSIKFEST / CAFE Bethlehem, PA
Doug Benson, Sep 8 Mickey Hart Band, Sep 26 TICKETS 610-332-1300 Dennis De Young, Live Fight Night @ Steel Stacks, Aug 21 Music of Styx, Oct 27 Kenny Vance & The Plantons, Aug 23 Live: Medium’s Gallery with Laury Moore, Oct 30 Project Blue Album, Sep 5
SHERMAN THEATER, Stroudsburg, PA Page 8
IRVING PLAZA, New York, NY
TICKETS 212-777-6800 Parachute, Aug 13 Baroness, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 16-17 Lawson, Aug 22
MAIN GATE, Allentown SOVEREIGN CENTER,PAReading, PA TICKETS TICKETS610-898-7200 610-898-7200 SickPuppies, Aug1818 n Manson, Jun
THE ELECTRIC FACTORY, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 627-1332 Bens Summer Bender, Aug 3 This is Hard Core, Aug 8-11 Dropkick Murphy’s, Aug 21 Fall Out Boy, Sep 8 City and Colour, Sep 18
TICKETS 800-745-3000 Abba, Aug 15 The Wanted, Aug 24 Gabriel Iglesias, Aug 29 Hanson, Sep 2 Stone Temple Pilots, Sep 4 Parafest, Sep 6-8 Russell Brand, Sep 14 Mike Epps, Sep 20 Sarah Brightman, Sep 22 Andrew Dice Clay, Sep 24 Legends of Boxing, Sep 26
Steely Dan, Sep 27 Jeff Foxworthy, Sep 28 Daryl Hall & John Oates, Sep 30 Kathy Griffin, Oct 4 Brian Wilson & Jeff Beck Oct 6 Celtic Thunder, Oct 9 Soul Asylum/Fountains of Wayne/ Evan Dando, Oct 11 A Day To Remember, Oct 12 So You think You can Dance, Oct 16 Barenaked Ladies, Oct 18 Paramore, Nov 11
HERSHEY PARK ARENA, Hershey Park, PA TICKETS 717-534-3911
Matchbox 20 /Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 14
TOYOTA PAVILLION Montage Mountain - Scranton, PA TICKETS (570) 961-9000
Jason Aldean, Aug 25 The Peach Festival, Aug 15-18
TROCADERO, Philadelphia, PA TICKETS (215) 922-5483
Sizzling Summer Nights, Aug 15 Scott Weiland, Aug 17 DropKick Murphy’s, Aug 21 The Mission UK, Sep 4 Kamelot, Sep 5 Peter Hook & The Light, Sep 14 Flag, Sep 18 Atoms For Peace, Sep 24 Monster Energy Rock Allegiance Tour, Sep 26
1409 N. 9th St
TICKETS 215-336-3600
We The Kings, Aug 14 Slapjaw, Aug 16 Mobb Deep, Aug 24 Stroudfest, Aug 31
TICKETS 877-686-5366
SANDS EVENT CENTER Bethlehem, PA
REVERB - Reading, PA
WELLS FARGO CENTER Philadelphia, PA
TICKETS 570-420-280
SUSQUEHANNA BANK CENTER Camden, NJ Matchbox Twenty & The Goo Goo Dolls, Aug 11 Backstreet Boys, Aug, 16 John Mayer, Aug 23 Jason Aldean, Aug 24
Great White, Aug 13 Bullet Boys, Aug 15 Upstart Fest, Sep 13 Blood on the Dance Floor, Sep 26
Muse, Sep 9 Drake, Oct 19
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN New York, NY
moe, Sep 29 Conspirator, Oct 19 Umphrey’s McGee, Oct 24 Misfits, Oct 25 In This Moment, Nov 8
(610) 743-3069 Everytime I Die, Aug 16 Kix, Aug 17 Bam Margera w/ Hed Pe, Aug 23 David Allan Coe, Aug 31 Saxon & Fozzy, Sep 17
KESWICK THEATRE, Glenside, PA TICKETS 215-572-7650
Philadelphia Rock & Blues Fest, Aug 14 Adam Ant, Aug 15 Gad Elmaleh, Sep 12 Sinbad, Sep 14
PENNS PEAK, Jim Thorpe, PA TICKETS 570-325-0371 Ted Nugent, Aug 14 Big Night Out, Aug 23 Live Wire, Sep 6 Josh Turner, Sep 26
SICK PUPPIES TAKES THE STAGE THIS SUNDAY AT MAINGATE NIGHT CLUB IN ALLENTOWN
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
Maingate Nightclub
(610) 776-7711
448 N. 17th Street, Allentown, PA
(570) 283-1300 BREWS75 BROTHERS WEST MAIN STREET, LUZERNE, PA PAGE 9
Tix for all shows at Ticketmaster.com, Call 800.745.3000, All Ticketmaster Locations & at each venue’s box office VISIT FACEBOOK.COM/SLPCONCERTS OR SLPCONCERTS.NET
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
CLUBS AND PUBS ALLENTOWN
Jabber Jaws Bar & Grille 1327 Chew St Allentown, PA 610-432-6524
Tilted Kilt 2835 Lehigh St 610-791-2100 Grumpy’s BBQ Roadhouse 3000 Mauch Chunk Rd 610-769-4600 8/16 Magnetic North 8/17 Scott Marshall Rascals Pub & Afterdark Lounge 6616 Ruppsville Rd 610-366-1130 Pitchers Sports Bar & Grill 570 Union Boulevard 610-841-4001 Friday: Live Entertainment Main Gate 17 W. Liberty Street 610-776-7711 Friday Night: Noche Latina Saturday: Classique 80’s, 90’s music Stratus Night Club 1193 Airport Road 610-776-2090 Wednesday: Karaoke
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BATH Cornerstone Pub 506 Penn St 610-837-6670 8/23 DJ Cobra 9/14 LVMAC Benefit
BETHLEHEM
Bar With No Name 300 Gateway Drive 610-866-5800 Fridays: DJ Cap Cee Saturdays: DJ Trama
MacGrady’s 117 E. Third St 610-868-8925 Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: DJ@10pm Sat: Acoustic Entertainment
Funhouse 5 E. Fourth Street 610-868-5311 8/14 Will Kiss U 8/15 Serene Green 8/16 The Vowels 8/17 Small Change 8/18 Modern Romance 8/19 Open Mic Nite 8/20 Asa & Em
Diamondz 1913 W Broad St Bethlehem, Pa 18018 610 865 1028 Monday: Jukebox Thursday: Karaoke Fri & Sat: Dance club/ Roosevelt’s 21st 1328 W. Tilghman St Karaoke Sunday: Karaoke (610) 770-1444 Mon - Fri 1/2 price apps Live Music 4-7 Bethlehem Brew Live Entertainment Works Tim Harakal / Billy 569 Main St Patrick / Strange 610-882-1300 Coincidence & More 8/23 Summerfest 2 Vision Bar @ Sands Event Center Jetport Lounge 77 Sands Boulevard 3400 Airport Rd. 610-297-7410 Allentown, Pa 8/16 Pop Rox w/ DJ 610-266-1000 Wednesdays: 6-12am Freezie 8/17 DJ Cova DJ Jimmy K Fridays: Tally Ho Mike Mitman 205 W. Fourth St 610-865-2591
Sands Bethlehem Molten Lounge 511 E. 3rd Street 484-777-7777 8/14 DJ Aaron B 8/15 Garden State Radio 8/16 Craig Thatcher 8/17 Emily’s Toybox / DJ Tom Taylor 8/18 Large Flowerheads 8/19 Gas Station Disco
w/ DJ Tom Taylor
Emily’s Toybox 8/17 Molten Lounge Bethlehem, PA
Roosevelt’s 21st 25 E. Elizabeth Ave (610) 266-1950 Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Zee
Godfrey Daniels 7 E. Fourth St 610-867-2390 8/27 August Ramble
Pop Rox 8/16 Vision Bar Sands Event Center Bethlehem, PA
CATASAQUA
Blue Monkey Sports Restaurant 1092 Howertown Rd 610-266-1550
COOPERSBURG
Silhouettes Showbar & Gentlemen’s Club 111 E. Station Ave (Right off 309) 610-282-8010 Thursdays: Pool Tournament 8pm & Karaoke w/ DJ Shocker 9:30pm
Fantasy Football Draft Roosevelt’s - Allentown & Bethlehem, PA
BARTONSVILLE
The Pocono Pub Rt. 611, Bartonsville 570-421-5743 Monday: Open Mic Tues, Thurs, Sun: Karaoke 8/14 Jesse Wade & Co 8/17 Nuff Said
EASTON
Spanky’s East 1700 Butler St 610-559-5170 Tues: Texas Hold Em’ 8/23 Luau Party Drinky’s 3 Centre St Sq 610-252-3800 9/14 Skate Jam Porter’s Pub 700 Northampton St. 610-250-6561 8/14 Traditional Irish Jam 8/15 The Subtle Experience 8/16 The Roux 8/17 Public Displays of Rejection
the Vowels 8/16 Funhouse Bethlehem, PA
MORE ON PAGE 32
Strange Brew Tavern 1996 S. Fifth St 610-841-3610 Monday: Pong night Sunday: Open mic 8/16 A.D.D Band 8/17 Smith Compound Band
The Brewworks Restaurant & Brewery 812-816 W Hamilton St 610-433-7777 Tuesday: Comedy Wednesday: Trivia Thursday: Karaoke Friday: Office Party Saturday: Guided Tours
Musikfest 2013 Recap
…and looking ahead to the “Ride For Adam”
Ready to rock! Mitch and Dan Donatelli from 99.9 The Hawk backstage with Foreigner at Musikfest. Photography by Diane Richter
Genesis opus, “Supper’s Ready.” It’d be nice to see Trespass play inside Musikfest Café so they can present their entire stage show including lights, visuals and other effects. Friday, the 8th, was an off-day – Philadelphia Eagles preseason football took precedence over everything. Saturday, the 9th, I hosted the 99 minute Hawk Happy Hour from 5:30-7:09 at Matchplatz (The Wooden Match) while the Trophy Husbands rocked the outdoor patio. As soon as that ended, it was over to Steel Stacks again for the Sarah Ayers Band at Americaplatz followed by Grateful Dead tribute, Splintered Sunlight. Sunday, the 11th, I was compelled to skip the last day of Musikfest in favor of seeing Kansas complete this summer’s series of concerts at the Sherman Theater Summer Stage at Mount Airy Casino in Mount Pocono. Carry on my wayward Festers. More on that show in a later edition… I also want to mention that the annual Ride for Adam benefit poker ride and picnic is this Saturday,
August 17, at the Schnecksville Fire Company as volunteers, vendors, and musicians give of their time to raise awareness and funds to help find a cure for Neimann-Pick disease which afflicts young Adam Recke. Registration for the poker ride starts at 10AM, the ride goes from noon-2 and the picnic goes from 2PM8PM. Rumor has it that The Armadillos are reuniting for a special one-time performance at the benefit. Tickets are just $25! Please support this event!
Adam Recke, Sean Recke, Mitch from 99.9 The Hawk
PANTONE 485 CVU PANTONE Process Yellow CVU PANTONE Reflex Blue C PANTONE 1395 CVC
Mitch has been on the air rockin’ the Lehigh Valley for eighteen years and has been with The Hawk for the last eleven years! Tune in weeknights for Classic Rock of the 70’s, 80’s and more! Listen Saturdays for great giveaways including free concert tickets for great area shows! To have your band reviewed please contact me at: mitch999thehawk@gmail.com
PAGE PAGE1111
By now, the stakes have been pulled up, the tents have come down, and the beer trucks have returned to their Banko Beverage home base until next August; another Musikfest in the books. It was a wet and wild 30th anniversary of Musikfest and despite some inclement weather, ArtsQuest and its volunteers performed admirably throughout the ten day festival. Logistically, it had to be a daunting task to keep things running so smoothly at so many venues on both the north and south sides of Bethlehem with so many performers scheduled to play with the elements out of everyone’s control. But for the times I was at the “Fest”, it was nothing but good times and that’s when I realized the amount of effort, planning and hard work that goes into making Musikfest a successful, self-sustaining event year over year - one that will thrive for another 30 years and beyond. A big thank you and job well done to all the volunteers and vendors who made it happen! And, well done to all the great musicians that I had the opportunity to see play! Prior to the festival, I took a look at the schedule for the entire ten days and mapped out an itinerary of where I needed to be and when, and it went like clockwork. There have been times when I’ve improvised, festing on the fly to see what I would stumble upon, and that can be a fun approach, too. However, this year, there were several must-see performances so I skipped the freelancing and took the more organized approach. On the first night of Musikfest, I saw two amazing guitar players in Lou Franco with the Lou Franco Project at Liederplatz on the north side and Eric Steckel with the Eric Steckel Band at Americaplatz on the south side at Steel Stacks. These two maestros have their own unique styles of playing but the results are the same – you get your butt kicked. Saturday, the 3rd, I attended a festival but it wasn’t Musikfest. It was the first “Yestival”, held in Camden, NJ at the Susquehanna Bank Center, and I’ve got a few anecdotes to relate to you on that particular event but will do so at a later time. Sunday, the 4th, was a day of rest. With all the hard core festing accomplished over the previous 48 hours, I needed it…badly. Monday, the 5th, my batteries were recharged and I caught a second wind preparing to clown around at Peter Frampton’s Guitar Circus Tour at the Sands Steel Stage which featured blues rocker, Sonny Landreth, blues legend, B.B. King and rock legend, Peter Frampton. My Hawk cohort, Dan Donatelli, brought his original vinyl copy of “Frampton Comes Alive” which he effectively employed as a stage prop during the stage welcome. My only complaint about this show was that the volume seemed to be turned way down throughout the night. I was waiting for the gradual increase in sound levels that unfortunately, never came. Tuesday, the 6th, was yet another day of rest. I’m sure Lonesome George Thorogood and the Destroyers had plenty of company at that main stage show. I heard it was a pretty good show. Wednesday, the 7th, I was conveniently scheduled to be at Steel Stacks at 5PM to host 99.9 The Hawk’s live broadcast from Hawkplatz. I was unexpectedly ushered backstage for a meet and greet with Foreigner. The Foreigner guys were an affable bunch and the crowd enjoyed hearing all their hits including the encore song, “I Want to Know What Love Is” which featured the Bangor Area High School Select Choir singing the gospel chorus along with the band and the sold out crowd. That was a great Musikfest memory. Thursday, the 7th, under threatening skies at Steel Stacks, Dugan Thomas jammed at Americaplatz until lightning shortened their set by 15 minutes. Then the weather cleared for the next couple of hours. Peter Gabriel-era Genesis tribute band, Trespass: The Music of Genesis, took the stage and played a sterling 90 minute set of classics that ended with the 24 minute
THE VALLEY VALLEY BEAT BEAT AUGUST JULY 31, 14, 2013 THE 2013
by: Mitch
Page 12
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
10PM STOOGES 11:30PM ROOSEVELTS 21ST ALLENTOWN 9PM MACGRADYS 10PM SOTTO SANTI 11PM LEONS 12AM ROOSEVELTS 21ST BETHLEHEM
ENTER TO WIN A COORS LIGHT REFRESHERATOR.
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THURSDAY AUGUST 29 TH
BACK TO SCHOOL! FEATURES Hammerhead Lounge Starters Pub
$2.25 Pints All Day Everyday
Leons
Wednesday $3 Pitchers 10-12am
Revolutions
$3 Drafts Happy Hour 5-7pm
Keystone Pub Bethlehem
$2.25 Drafts All Day Everyday
Roosevelts 21st Allentown Hops Fogelsville Hotel Sunset Grille
SATURDAY AUG 17 TH DRINKYS 11-1AM
Fridays $1.50 Drafts
Linx
Saturday $2 Drafts $3 Drafts All Day Everyday Friday and Saturday $2 Pints
The Valley Coors Girls
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Follow us @LVCoorsGirls
Friday $2.00 Drafts $2 Drafts All Day Everyday
Blue Monkey Sport Bar Rivals
$1.50 Coors Light Drafts
Page 14
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
www.mollysbethlehem.com
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
4 E. 4th St • BETHLEHEM, PA • 610-868-1313
Monday - Friday 4 - 6pm $6 Absolut Vodka Martini Happy Hour Trivia Thursdays 8 - 10pm $50 - 1st Place $25 - 2nd Place
Sunday, August 18, 6-8pm McDonald’s PAGE 15
South 4th St. in Allentown
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013 Page 16
By: By: Scotty Scotty Brilliant Brilliant
Crank It Catholic Girls Sins Honesty Skip It Drowning We Will Wait in the Fog Golden Record does get a little repetitive at times; it’s difficult to decipher one song from the other. It also lacks the hooking guitar riffs that were present in the previous albums. This could be due to the fact that their lead guitarist left last year and this is the first album with the new guy. However, they hold nothing back here. Each song is sung with such raw emotion that you almost feel sorry for Perdomo and what he’s going through. After listening, I felt tired, like I had been on a rollercoaster for thirty minutes. So go ahead check this record out and enjoy the ride!
Scotty Brilliant is the Afternoon Drive Personality on The Valley’s Real Rock Station, 107 The Bone. Hit Scotty up for a Road Rage or Work Release Friday request, or let him know if there is a new album you want him to review! Find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ScottyBrilliant.
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Last Tuesday was a slow day for album releases, especially from Bone bands. There were, however, two bands that I am fan of that did release new albums. The first was Asking Alexandria, which I will review next week, and the second is a band called The Dangerous Summer. I first heard of these guys a couple years ago but didn’t think to check them out. There are so many bands out there flooding the scene, that, quite honestly, I thought this was just another generic band with a pretentious name. It wasn’t until I saw someone upload a live video of them on Facebook that I really took notice. The song was called “The Permanent Rain.” I was instantly hooked. Within minutes I had their first two albums downloaded. They have an emotional intensity about them that appeals to the heaviest of rockers, like myself. Their third album Golden Record, which just dropped last week, follows in the same suit. What I like best about The Dangerous Summer is singer AJ Perdomo’s lyrics. For being such a young dude, he really has lyric writing down pat, a skill that some musicians are never able to perfect. With every song he paints a picture that almost anyone can relate to. The album kicks off with “Catholic Girls,” which was the first single. It was released on iTunes with an accompanying music video back in June. I think this song helped to reassure fans that they had not changed their style at all. Perdomo takes us on a nostalgic journey through his past, even using peoples’ names to give it a more personal touch. Next up is my favorite song off the record, and quite possibly my favorite song by them, “Sins.” There is enough emotion in this song to make Morrissey sound like Glenn Danzig. It’s very dark and depressing, unlike some of The Dangerous Summer’s earlier work. This was one that I actually listened to a few times to get the full effect. With Perdomo screaming lyrics like, “I turn my back on the rope tied to my ceiling / to reason I won’t go there anymore,” you can’t help but get chills. “Knives,” is another track with haunting lyrics. “Sorry if I don’t learn from my losses / everyone is dead / and I can’t think of how we got in here / choked up and angry with my struggle,” is just part of a verse that builds up to a crescendo before it abruptly ends. “Honesty” is another stand out track. If you get a chance, check out the acoustic version on YouTube. It’s pretty damn awesome. The group returns to happier times on “We Will Wait in The Fog” and “Miles Apart.” Perdomo then throws a pity party for himself on the track aptly titled, “I’m So Pathetic.” If you’ve ever been in the situation where you’ve been shut out of someone’s life yet you’re still trying to find a way into it, then I’m sure you can relate to this one. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. After ending on a solid note with “Anchor,” there are a few alternate versions of songs plus an acoustic version of “Sins” which is not to be missed.
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 31, 2013
ALBUM REVIEW REVIEW ALBUM
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
By Chris Bumbray
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
LIFT ME UP W/ ROB HALFORD FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH THE WRONG SIDE OF HEAVEN &
THE RIGHTEOUS SIDE OF HELL, VOL 1
HAIL TO THE KING
AVENGED SEVENFOLD HAIL TO THE KING
PLOT: Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is back for another quest when his school’s protective barrier- designed to protect the demi God children from danger- is breached. Only the Golden Fleece can restore the barrier, so Percy and his friends Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) and Grover (Brandon T. Jackson) go out in search of it, on a journey that also reunites Percy with his half-brother Tyson (Douglas Smith), a shy Cyclops. REVIEW: I might be wrong, but I doubt anyone here is terribly enthusiastic about a sequel to PERCY JACKSON & THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTENING THIEF. The first one, which came out three years ago, was wildly hyped by Fox, with it having been directed by Chris Columbus, who also did the first two HARRY POTTER’s. Suffice to say, PERCY JACKSON was no HARRY POTTER, and the film did modest business. Still, it was far more successful than other Potter clones and would-be franchises like ERAGON, CITY OF EMBER, & THE SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING, all also put out by Fox.
MIND YOUR MANNERS PEARL JAM
LIGHTNING BOLT
HOWL
BEWARE OF DARKNESS ORTHODOX
THERE’S NO GOING BACK SICK PUPPIES CONNECT
CAME BACK HAUNTED NINE INCH NAILS
HESITATION MARKS
TRENCHES
POP EVIL ONYX
THE HANGMAN’S BODY COUNT VOLBEAT OUTLAW GENTLEMEN & SHADY LADIES
SICK OF IT
SKILLET RISE
Yes folks, that means the quest in PERCY JACKSON is far less grand in scope than the first film was, with most of the action being contained to (1) a yacht, (2) a speedboat, or (3) an ogre dwelling cave. The CGI is still relatively decent, although SEA OF MONSTERS feels too low-rent for the 3D conversion it’s received, as the technology doesn’t really lend itself too well to the proceedings. Even if the budget had been slashed, SEA OF MONSTERS could have still been fun, considering the game cast. While it’s immediately apparent that the “kids” from the first film have grown up considerably, they still do their best with the material. Lerman’s broken out since the first film, with his part in THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, and an upcoming role in Darren Aronofsky’s NOAH, but he doesn’t phone it in, and tries to make Percy a fun hero. His co-star, Alexandra Daddario, who’s blossomed into a gorgeous woman in the three years since THE LIGHTENING THIEF looks far too mature to be running around as the teenaged Annabeth, and considering that she’s twenty-six, and co-star Brandon T. Jackson is twenty-eight, it might have been wise of the gang had been aged a little so that they were no longer high-schoolers. All of the stars who played Gods in the first film have been replaced, with Pierce Brosnan’s Chiron now being played by Anthony Head of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. The role is even smaller here than it was in the first film, so it probably wouldn’t have been worth the expense to bring him back. They did, however, manage to land Stanley Tucci for a small part, and whatever enjoyment I got out of the film is mostly due to his limited screen time, as well as a fun cameo by the great Nathan Fillion as Hermes (along with a funny nod to the best TV shows always being cancelled- FIREFLY anyone?). Suffice to say, PERCY JACKSON: SEA OF MONSTERS probably isn’t going to rejuvenate the franchise and will likely be the last we see of the character unless it makes enough of a profit to do another one. It’s probably only worth watching if you happen to have young kids that are too young for something like PACIFIC RIM. So, while this is (probably) the end of PERCY JACKSON, I’m sure than the central trio, Lerman, Jackson, and Daddario are all going to have long careers. Each of them is talented, and they deserve a better showcase than this, especially if it’s going to be made in such a boring way.
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10
OUT OF TIME W/ CHESTER BENNINGTON
Movie Review
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
GINA CRASH’S TOP 10
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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NIGHTLY ENTERTAINMENT Wednesdays - Trivia Night Thursdays - DJ Thursday starting at 10PM Every Friday & Saturday - Live Acoustic Music
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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Jeff Foxworthy • September 28
BOX OFFICE: 610.297.7400 contact the box office about Group/vIP options. /thesbec
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
Fri August 23 - 9pm - 12am
R STO
NE P U R NE O B C 506 Penn Street, Bath PA 18014 610-837-6670
s l 1A nnua
Cornerstone Pub Inc.
t
Benefit for
Lehigh Valley Military Affairs Council
September 14th 12 noon until ?
DJ Cobra, Free Food, Coor’s Light Girls! Come out and support local active duty and retired veterans!
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www.lv-mac.org
By Camille Capriglione
The guild, created in 1998, offers a unique art form, which has been passed down through generations and across many cultures; the ageold tradition of spinning yarns. Storytellers have long possessed a rich talent in regaling the written word. The guild presents varied performances that provide entertainment for all ages. They range from hilarious, laugh-outloud stories to personal narratives to spooky tales. One may think of a storyteller as someone quietly seated in a rocking chair. Not so! Member Charles Kiernan considers himself “a stand-up storyteller”. His specialty is a collection of “Lost Dollar Stories”, which are anecdotes from the hills of the Appalachian Mountains. Kiernan performs an array of delightful Americana characters, such as a country bumpkin, a city slicker, a reverend and a dear old uncle famous
for catching catfish. He also tells stories of Mark Twain and the Brothers Grimm. Grimm tales are dark and sinister but Kiernan says he does not “Disney-fy” the stories. He assesses the crowd before deciding which stories to tell. “When the audience is full of children,” said Kiernan, “I tell the kinder Grimm tales.” Guild storytellers use their whole bodies. They move all over the stage. Others use props or theatrical methods. Others sing, dance, play instruments or do magic. Certain stories are specifically geared for children so that they can come on stage to assist with magic tricks.
THETHE VALLEY BEAT JULY 31, 2013 VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
Lehigh Valley Storytelling Guild
Gather around and experience the ancient art of storytelling! The Lehigh Valley Storytellers Guild consists of professionals and amateurs, poets and actors who take pleasure in, and study, the art of storytelling, and perform for others. The guild presents numerous showcases, appear at festivals, and conduct story swaps and workshops in the Lehigh Valley. Both experienced storytellers and newcomers are welcome in the guild.
Other stories are autobiographical in nature and describe one’s own experiences in highly personal narratives that can be humorous or painfully honest. This form of storytelling is mastered by using universal themes that the audience can relate to. There are year round events for the public to enjoy. Check out their website at www. lvstorytellers.org. Members meet monthly at Godfrey Daniels Coffee House at 7 E. 4th St. in Bethlehem on the second Wednesday of the month (except August – Musikfest!) All are welcome to listen or join in and tell a tale of their own!
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
\\ Haircuts \\ Colors \\ Nails \\ Facial
Waxing
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128 WEST 4TH ST. BETHLEHEM|610-849-2011|ALISTSALONSPA.COM
THE VALLEY THE VALLEY BEATBEAT JULYAUGUST 31, 201314, 2013
FRAMPTON’S GUITAR CIRCUS TOUR
By Elle Spaulding
photos courtesy of Showgun Photography
“The course of true love never did run smooth” quoth Lysander from Shakespeare’s classic comedy a Midsummer Night’s Dream. By the end of the play Lysander of course ends up happily falling in love (not before some serious meddling from fairy king Oberon and his clown like servant Puck). Concertgoers at Bethlehem’s waning summer Musikfest however were not so happy with Peter Frampton’s Guitar Circus. Touted as one of the major concerts of the weeklong festival, the event’s line up included blues guitarist Sonny Landreth, BB King and headliner, Peter Frampton. Landreth, the least well known of the three musicians opened the show. Arriving promptly on stage at 7:00 and playing straight through before ending promptly at 7:30 Landreth was pure business. Certainly technically skilled, Landreth could at times make his guitar mournfully weep before a seamless transition into something more akin to the frenetic moments preorgasm. Satisfaction was never fully realized unfortunately. As my companion remarked, “Half of the show is the audience” and Landreth seemed to be entirely ambivalent to the crowd. To be fair, during Landreth’s set people filled only half of the available seats. Perhaps in a smaller setting, Landreth could have really shined, but at one of Musikfest’s largest stages Landreth’s performance was decent, but unremarkable. After Landreth’s exit the crowd awaited the arrival of BB King. I’ll admit now that BB King was my primary draw to Frampton’s show. One does not need to necessarily enjoy the blues to know that BB King is iconic and a living legend at 87.
Once Frampton took the stage, again the atmosphere shifted entirely. Juxtaposed with the flirtatious old legend before him, Frampton was a purple burst of electronics and the digital era, which is to be expected from an artist who was made famous in part by a talk box. As neon pink and blue images flashed wildly behind, the aforementioned talk box
made an appearance for Frampton’s 1970s hit “Show me the Way”. In fact, Frampton’s set seemed to come almost entirely off his 1970s album “Frampton Comes Alive” since “Baby I Love your Way” and probably his biggest hit “Do you Feel like we Do” were also performed to the elation of the crowd. Frampton was clearly the outstanding performer of the night, but if I were to take the concert into consideration as a whole, it wasn’t great. Transitions were jerky. Opportunities were lost when none of the three named musicians performed with each other and honestly by the time Frampton took the stage I was weary enough to want to leave even though I thought that he was the best in show. I left feeling not starry-eyed but thinking that Frampton’s Guitar Circus was a circus indeed.
PAGE PAGE23 21
Unfortunately too many of those years showed. If Landreth could be criticized for not interacting enough with the crowd BB King had the exact opposite problem. In a 40 minute set, King’s band was as interesting and innovative as ever (blues flute anyone?), and King himself had his moments, but the vast majority of his time on stage was spent cracking jokes and flirting with women in the front row. It was a side of BB King that I did not anticipate and as a woman, I have to admit that BB King is extremely charming, but charming isn’t enough when in classics such as “The Thrill is Gone” and “Rock me Baby” are barely done in full and most of the singing was done by the audience when King decided to play “You are my Sunshine” as more than a nod to the women in the crowd.
The night’s moment of greatest lost potential however had to be when Peter Frampton joined BB King on stage with his guitar. Frampton played along a bit with King’s band, but in those moments King’s hands ended up not on Lucille, but on Frampton’s shoulders to give fatherly advice. BB King then handed over Lucille and exited the stage before lights dimmed to announce a break before Frampton’s set.
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
photo courtesy of Showgun Photography
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 31, 2013 THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
By Nick Gaskins The band then slowed it down with the song “Buried Alive” as soothing blue and purple lights washed over the crowd. In keeping with the atmosphere the next song in the set was “Fiction” the last song written by The Rev, penned a mere three days before his death. After a somber moment A7X turned the heat back up with “Nightmare”, as bright white stage lights danced and bounced in time with the drums. The fastpaced song ended with jets of white flame bursting from the stage. M. Shadows paused to make another observation about the crowd, stating “Despite all the seating we have a mosh pit over here.” As he gestured toward the churning group of fans to the right of the stage. “I like the energy.” He declared as the crowd cheered. Taking that momentum he then launched into the title track off of their new album Hail to the King. You could feel the heat all the way in the back row as fireballs shot into the sky and a row of flames lined the top of the giant Death Bat behind the band. The band kept the energy high as they
followed up with “Afterlife”, which featured another sweet double solo and skillful drumming. Shadows then asked the crowd how they would feel about hearing a song off of their second album Waking The Fallen. They then played “Chapter Four” which was a treat because it is rarely performed live anymore. There was actual crowd surfing toward the front of the audience despite the rows of seats during this song. Then the concert ended abruptly amid cheers of “Encore!” and a “Sevenfold” chant. The crowd was clearly disappointed… Suddenly cheers erupted as the opening riffs of “Bat Country”, arguably their most popular hit, heralded the bands return to the stage. Zacky and Synyster tore their guitars up once more in front of a sea of waving hands and the stage lit up in all of its pyrotechnic splendor. And just when you thought that was the end of the set for good, Shadows and company played “Unholy Confessions”, a staple in their live setlists, to close out an amazing show. Avenged Sevenfold’s new album Hail To The King hits stores on August 27th.
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BETHLEHEM, PA- The crowd grew restless as the sun set over the Steel Stage on Sunday, August 11th. It had been nearly 45 minutes since Fight Or Flight, featuring Dan Donegan and Mike Wengren of Disturbed, had ended their set and the stage was still vacant. The giant Death Bat that acted as the center piece of the stage’s backdrop gazed silently out at a sea of tattoos, mohawks, and leather as the remaining seats were filled. Then just as night fell, Avenged Sevenfold finally took the stage and the effect was immediate. The air was filled with the sound of hundreds of metal chairs flipping shut in unison as an anxious crowd rose to their feet and cheered. The Death Bat came alive behind the band as brilliant pyrotechnic flames leapt from its wingtips and its eyes glowed a menacing red. Frontman M. Shadows spared no time on introductions as he leapt right into “Critical Acclaim”, a single off of their self-titled fourth album. Keeping the momentum, the band known colloquially as A7X rolled right into fan favorite “Beast and the Harlot”. This song featured some dual soloing by guitarists Zacky Vengeance and Synyster Gates as they played in their traditional back-to-back stances. As the second song in their set ended Shadows decided to finally address the crowd, who were already on the verge of frenzy. “I’ve never seen such an orderly situation at a heavy metal show.” He said with a chuckle. “You must be a well behaved group of individuals.” This last statement was met with a defiant roar of protest from the crowd. Grinning he continued “We want to thank you guys for letting us out of the house, we’ve been in the studio for about a fuckin’ year now.” Shadows then introduced Arin Ilejay, former drummer of the band Confide, who as of this year is the official new drummer for Sevenfold, filling the position left vacant following Jimmy “The Rev” Sullivan’s tragic death in 2009. After asking the crowd to help welcome Arin to the family, the band appropriately began playing the song of the same name. Fireworks from the top of the stage transitioned the song “Welcome to the Family” into the hit single “Almost Easy” which featured stellar drumming by Arin and a blistering Gates solo.
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
WING NIGHT MONDAY : Starters Pub Wings 60¢ Wings • ½ Price Boneless
s Clubhouse WEDNESDAY : Starter s Wings ½ Price Wings & Boneles 5pm-10pm
CLAM NIGHT se Monday : Starters Clubhou $2.50 Dozen Clams
½ Price Burgers too!
Wednesdays, 7:30pm at Starters Pub
$7 Sandwiches & Cheesesteaks
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400 Illicks Mill Rd • Bethlehem (610) 625-0060 www.starters-clubhouse.com
Friday Aug 16 – A.D.D Sat Aug 17 – Smith Compound Band
Kitchen open 11am til Midnight
Open 7 days a week 11am - 2am
strangebrew610
(corner of S. 5th St & Emaus Ave)
TRIVIA NIGHT
STARTERS CLUBHOUSE GRILLE
Entertainment This Week:
1996 S. Fifth St Allentown
5pm-10pm
11am-11pm
610-841-3610
Featuring a wide array of domestic, import, micro & craft Brews
5pm-11pm
TUESDAY : Starters Pub $2.50 Dozen Clams
24 Taps
www.strangebrewtavern.co
STARTERS PUB
3731 Route 378 • Bethlehem (610) 997-5454 www.starterspub.com
WAT CH A L THE GAM L HER ES E
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THIS WEEKEND THEATER LISTINGS AMC TILGHMAN 8 TILGHMAN SQUARE ALLENTOWN (610) 391-0772
FRANK BANKO ALEHOUSE CINEMAS STEELSTACKS ONE FOUNDERS WAY BETHLEHEM 610-297-7111
BECKY’S DRIVE IN Rt. 248 BERLINSVILLE http://www.beckysdi.com/
MAHONING VALLEY CINEMA CARBON PLAZA MALL LEHIGHTON 610-377-8626 http://mvcinema.com/
CARMIKE 16 1700 CATASAUQUA RD ALLENTOWN 610-264-9624 http://www.carmike.com/
MAHONING DRIVE-IN Rt 443 LEHIGHTON 570-645-6204
CARMIKE PROMENADE & IMAX 2805 CENTER VALLEY PARKWAY SAUCON VALLEY 610-709-8635 CIVIC’S THEATER 514 514 N. 19th St ALLENTOWN EMMAUS THEATER 19 S. FOURTH St 610-965-2878 THE GAP THEATER 47 BROADWAY St 610-863-3094
TOP 10 BOX OFFICE MOVIES
6. The Smurfs 2 7. The Wolverine 8. The Conjuring 9. Despicable Me 2 10. Grown Ups 2
1. Epic 2. Scary Movie 5 3. No One Lives 4. Killing Season 5. Amour
THE ROXY 2004 MAIN ST NORTHAMPTON 610-262-7699 http://roxytheaternorthampton.com/ SHANKWEILER’S DRIVE-IN 4540 SHANKWEILER RD (OFF Rt 309) OREFIELD 610-683-8775 http://www.shankweilers.com/
August 23rd, 2013
REGAL NORTHAMPTON 14 3720 EASTON-NAZARETH HIGHWAY (ROUTES 33 & 248) LOWER NAZARETH TOWNSHIP 610-559-7800 READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 30 N. SECOND ST READING MOVIES 11 & IMAX 3D 610-374-2828
NEW DVD RELEASES
6. Being Human: Season 5 7. Boardwalk Empire: Season 3 8. Hollywood & Wine 9. Mike & Molly: Season 3 10. NCIS LA: Season 4
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1. Elysium 2. We’re The Millers 3. Planes 4. Percy Jackson Sea Monsters 5. 2 Guns
Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox
REGAL POHATACONG CINEMA 12 Rt 22 PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 908-454-7500 http://www.fandango.com/
REGAL RICHLAND CROSSINGS 12 RICHLAND CROSSING QUAKERTOWN 215-536-7700 http://www.fandango.com
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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NOW OPEN SUNDAYS
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
ZODIAC ARIES (3/21 – 4/19) Your alternative ideas are far superior -- just make sure you’re not too cocky about it when you unleash them on the world! Then be sure you’ve got your priorities straight around Wednesday and Thursday. If what you’re about to do gives you an uneasy feeling -- or if you think it might give someone else one -- stop and make time to think and feel it through. You might want to wait ‘til Friday anyway, because this weekend you will be unstoppable. It sounds corny, but if you can dream it, you can do it. Rock on!
LIBRA (9/23 - 10/22) You and you-know-who are almost a circus act at this point. You have incredible chemistry. Duality is a big theme, and flexibility is key. Wednesday and Thursday are also decidedly relationship-oriented -- not just romantic relationships, but also your one-on-one relationships at home, at work and at the gym. Friday is packed with beauty and wonders -- and anxieties about a certain partnership that seems to be running afoul (life is like this, the good comes with the bad) -- but Saturday is as harmonious as a duet and Sunday is sprightly.
TAURUS (4/20 – 5/20) Dreaming of the future consumes you --not just of flying saucers and teleportation technology, but also, for example, what you will look like in the future, what kind of job you’ll have, who you’ll be spending your life with. You might want to talk this stuff over with a friend. On Wednesday and Thursday, pacing is a primary theme -- are you going too fast or not fast enough? -- but Friday finds you content and longing for meaningful interaction. The future is suddenly not nearly as interesting to you as is the present. Shopping figures into your weekend.
SCORPIO (10/23 - 11/21) You and your friends are birds of a feather, and you’re the front tip of the formation. You love making decisions about which electric wires to fly to next -- you truly love the flock -- but you also have goals that have nothing to do with the rest of your pals. When a conflict arises on Wednesday and Thursday, make a conscious effort to support someone else’s plan. It may be something of a sacrifice for you, but it will also absolve you of responsibility. On Friday and Saturday, more compromise is required; but on Sunday you’ll get to fly solo. Just stay out of trouble.
GEMINI (5/21 – 6/21) On the one hand, you’re frustrated about your career and dreaming of making a change. On the other hand, everything is too blurry to do anything about it. Communicate your feelings another day, when you’ll be able to articulate them better. For example, on Wednesday when you’re surrounded by friends who’d love to be asked for advice. Thursday is a great day too, but Friday and Saturday require the utmost focus on your part. You are able to do a million things at once, and that is a rare skill. A flirtatious exchange on Sunday makes you feel like a new balloon. CANCER (6/22 – 7/22) Go ahead and let the unknown surprise and delight you. Sometimes the best way to figure out who you are is to put yourself in new situations and see how you respond. No wonder philosophy is on your mind. Wednesday and Thursday are cerebral days as well, although they’re also fairly emotional days; don’t speak before thinking and don’t take anything personally, if you can help it. Friday and Saturday are charmed -- and you’ll have the chance to charm others, probably in a dinner-party situation -and Sunday you’re as busy as a bee.
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LEO (7/23 - 8/22) Sometimes pictures of products on the Internet can be deceiving. Do some more research -- even more Internet research -- before typing in your credit card number. Tuesday brings you more evidence that no amount of new gadgetry can solve certain problems, and Wednesday and Thursday are so full of learning you feel like you’re in school again. Even the trees seem to have something to teach you. On Friday and Saturday your search for answers about your career comes up empty, but Sunday afternoon with friends puts everything in perspective. VIRGO (8/23 - 9/22) The stacks of paper in your living room and bedroom are so daunting that you practically need a sailboat to get from this side of the room to that. Reorganizing your life on this week brings you solace, but it also draws your attention to how much more disorganized other people are than you. Don’t feel like you have to straighten up someone else’s desk -- let them be messy. Is it really that important? On Wednesday and Thursday you only want to devote energy to things that really matter. This weekend, what matters to you is compatibility. You and a friend have a date. Expect a deep conversation
SAGITTARIUS (11/22 - 12/21) You’re having trouble getting the engine to turn over on this week. You have gas. You have the right keys. You’re doing what you usually do, but you’re not getting the results you usually get. How annoying! Tuesday will be like this, too. Don’t sweat it. Wednesday and Thursday, the opposite will be true. The most impossible-seeming tasks are a snap. Crazy! Friday and Saturday, make sure the lines of communication are wide open and avail yourself to anyone who needs you. Then, on Sunday, shut off the phone. You deserve a break. You deserve a hammock! CAPRICORN (12/22 - 1/19) Maybe it’s time to clear the sheets off the bed and create a play on your mattress. Bring in a lamp from the living room. String up some decorations. The more creative you are the first half of the week, the better. The second half of the week, your total lack of creative outlets stalls you. Your family needs you. Your boss needs you. Who doesn’t need you? Friday and Saturday, an opportunity to whip out a box of crayons presents itself, and you nearly explode with happiness. Then, on Sunday, your creativity takes an intellectual turn. AQUARIUS (1/20 - 2/18) Your credit card is maxed and you can only find about fifteen cents between the couch cushions. Is this cause for a personal crisis? Wednesday you’ll have developed such a taste for tuna sandwiches (you’ll have gotten it down to a technique, with capers and everything) that you won’t mind. Thursday is full of advanced ideas and altruism, and Friday and Saturday are marked by huge leaps forward in your understanding of your family. Sunday is stuffed with love. Hotsy-totsy! PISCES (2/19 - 3/20) You are happiest when you’re helping someone else out. Not that you like your friends to be sad, it’s just that, when they are sad, you like to be the one who can make them happier. Have you considered a clown costume? Wednesday and Thursday are filled with riddles and puzzles -- many of them of your own devising -- and Friday is about the softer side of life (it’s a day full of moisturizers). On Saturday, write someone a love letter, and on Sunday, enjoy some poetry. Or music. Or heck, even TV. Let yourself be entertained.
CLUBS AND PUBS continued HELLERTOWN
Beer Mussels 1214 Main St 610-838-8200 Friday: Leechboy Saturday: Texas Hold’em Sunday: Texas Hold’em
PALMER Charles Chrin Community Ctr 4100 Green Pond Rd
CENTER VALLEY Melt Level 3 2805 Center Valley Parkway 610-798-9000 Fridays DJ Chubby C Saturday DJ Fog (Dan Glatts)
QUAKERTOWN Big Daddy’s Wagon Wheel Tavern Route 313 & Sternersmill Rd. 215-536-9989 Wednesdays: Scott & Wade
WIND GAP Score Card Sports Bar 130 N. Broadway 610-863-5269 Thursdays : Funtime Karaoke 9:30pm - 1:30am TC Dance Club 6623 Sullivan Trail 610-881-1000
READING Rumorz 220 N. Park Rd 610-374-3200
KUHNSVILLE Kuhnsville Inn 5745 Memorial Rd 610-395-2387 Wed & Fri: Karaoke
WESCOSVILLE
Krocks Pub 1160 S. Krocks Rd 610-391-0648 Sat: DJ Linx
NORTHAMPTON The Gin Mill / Main St Music Hall 1750 Main Street 610-262-5486 Wednesday: Karaoke Thursday: Karaoke Argus, Freedoms Reign, Sinister Realm, Mindmaze & Infernal Opera - Doors 7Pm Hammerhead Lounge 326 Main Street 610-262-6713 Tuesdays: Open Mic w/ Tim Harakal Thursdays: DJ B-Rad Fridays: DJ Statik
MACUNGIE The Pub On Main 102 E. Main St 610-966-2275 Thursdays: Comedy Night The Longswamp Tavern 20 Gap Road 610-702-3700 8/17 In Our Dreams
OREFIELD
Leather Corner Post 6855 Horeshoe Road 610-395-1782 Tuesday: Trivia w/ DJ Slacker Wednesday: Acoustic Jam Thursday: Open Jam 8/16 Triage 8/17 Rehab-X
CLINTON, NJ Revolution 111 W. Main Street Clinton NJ Inside Holiday Inn
DOYLESTOWN
Puck 1 Printers Alley 215-348-9000 8/16 Adam Travis 8/17 Fooling April Chambers 19 / The Other Side 19 N. Main Ave 215-348-1940 The Farmhouse Tavern 380 N. Main St 215-345-9373 8/16 Jeff Lohan 8/17 T.B.A
PENNSBURG PC Pub Restaurant & Sports Bar 500 Pottstown Ave 215-679-4900 Thur/Fri/Sat: DJ The Perk 501 E. Walnut St. 215-257-8483 Wednesdays: Open Mic Thursdays: Trivia Night Saturday: Karaoke
GOULDSBORO The Grandview Gentlemens Club Rt 435 570-842-2661 Tuesday: College/Miltary Night 9/4 Amateur Night
STROUDSBURG Sarah Street Grill 550 Quaker Alley 570-424-9120 Wednesday: Open Mic 8/15 Chelsea Carlson 8/16 The Pocono Duo 8/17 Baby Cave Weekend 8/18 Stilettos & Steel 8/20 Public Display Band
For entertainment listings email us: thevalleybeat@gmail.com
Check Out Stilettos & Steel This Sunday at the Sarah Street Grill in Stroudsburg
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
THE VALLEY BEAT JULY 31, 2013
Prostitution
By Elle Spaulding One of the major news stories this past week has been the arrest of 159 men and more than 100 children across the country in a large-scale F.B.I crackdown on prostitution. The Lehigh Valley recently also had its own prostitution related news story as 9 men and 2 women were arrested in a sting in Bethlehem Township in mid-July. Before then, two similar sting operations in March and April of this year were responsible for another 27 arrests. The majority of these arrests across the country and here in the Valley have been men. In Pennsylvania, prostitution itself is a misdemeanor offense, unless of course one is a repeated offender, whereas procuring or promoting prostitution, more colloquially known as pimping, is at least a third degree felony carrying with it, at minimum, a fine of $2500 upwards to $15000 and seven years imprisonment (for a first offense). All of which begs the question, “Why would you go to a prostitute?” To answer this question, I started doing a little research of my own and naturally the first place I went was Craigslist. Craigslist, of course, was infamously lambasted by politicians and in the media for its “Adult Services” section, which the company shut down in 2010, but a quick glance through Craigslist’s main page quickly reveals that the role of the foregone “Adult Services” section has been subsumed by what is now called “Casual Encounters”. After a few minutes of clicking through the types of ads that were being posted by other people, I decided to make an ad of my own. Now the journalistic integrity might behest that I divulge the exact content of my Craigslist ad, but for my own personal safety and anonymity, I’ll just say that it was very vague. In so many words, (less than 40) I basically said that I was a novice at Craigslist posts and interested in learning.
The following day was spent sorting through many of the messages. Some were, as expected a half-hearted reply with a, sometimes not so nice and hilariously sometimes not so identifiable, photo of someone’s stuff. (Note: I say “stuff” here because I saw a lot of stuff, not really just one thing and not seldom belonging to just one person.) Some of my message senders agreed to meet me immediately, some referenced acts most notoriously made famous by E.L. James, and some just seemed like honest and sincere people who wanted
To summarize, in a manner of a few days, this is what I have learned: 1) It is very easy to find sex on the Internet. I didn’t have to be very pretty or interesting or smart. Many of the people who messaged me this week sent me very private things about themselves and wanted to meet me almost immediately without me having to send a picture or myself, a phone number or an address. This is great, because the vast majority of the messages I received seemed to be about two (or more) consenting adults and people
seemed willing to jump at the chance to have sex with me. I’ll keep this in mind in case I ever feel lonely. 2) Despite its virtues, the truism remains that the Internet can be a scary place. I don’t think that it is an accident that many of the prostitution busts that were reported this week across the country included some type of online component and it wasn’t very hard to find messages that I felt uncomfortable with. It is extremely sad, deplorable, and wrong that anyone would ever hurt a child in that way. 3) Prostitution is rarely an issue that is as simple as someone wanting sex, but to partially answer my initial question, if all that you want is sex and you’re thinking of going to a prostitute: don’t. There are so many other options. PAGE 21
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To say that I then sat back and watched the messages trickle in would be an understatement. What actually happened was that I felt like I buckled down and at moments literally clutched the sides of my desk as the deluge of messages flooded my inbox. Within half an hour, I received about 40 messages. By the end of the day, the number had reached into the lower triple digits.
to get to know me and then have casual sex. There were a few messages that I founddisturbing, beyond just unwanted penis-picture disturbing, which drew me back to the fact that most of those arrests were men, not women, implying male pimps and underage children.
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
MUSIC
Drummer Wanted We are looking for drums to complete a 4 piece rock act. We have a variety of influences . Mike: 610-984-3791 GUITAR LESSONS from touring pro, performing and teaching for over 30 years and has shared the stage with BB King, Les Paul and Robert Cray. 610-360-5462
Trumpet / Bugler Needed To perform 140 Military funerals per year. Primarily between Reading and Allentown. 609-504-9450 Keyboard Player Wanted: play “Classic Hits” from the 60’s 70’s 80’s 90’s. Call Mike: 610-216-5501
EMPLOYMENT A Reliable Cleaning Person needed Monday thru Friday P/T for several locations in Allentown. Evenings after 5PM. Own Transportation a must. No Criminal record. We do check. Call 610-837-8999
Email // classifieds@thevalleybeat.com
Call // 9am - 5pm 7 Days a Week(484) 635-2253
EMPLOYMENT
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Reliable Lot Person Needed to keep cars and lot clean. This is a full time position that requires some Saturdays. You must have a PA Drivers License and you must have your own transportation to get to work. If you are afraid of hard work please don’t apply if you are ready to work, please call Mr. C at 484-707-1516.
Delivery Drivers Wanted The Valley Beat is seeking Drivers for many areas in the Lehigh Valley. Must have own car / ins. Reply to: distribution@thevalleybeat.com
Spacious apartment, just renovated Six rooms, apartment, new kitchen, New decor, all utilities paid, near transportation. $700/month 610-266-7300
2000 CHEVROLET MONTE CARLO 3.8L 6CYL, AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION, 133,000 MILES ,TWO TONED LEATHER, RUNS GREAT ! MOONROOF, AC/CD POWER WINDOWS, POWER LOCKS,$5,600.00 / 267-251-4997 (Montgomery County)
Coopersburg- Rooms For Rent Weekly or Monthly. Cable Utilities and wifi included. Single & Double Occupancy. $80/week and up. Clean Private. 610-282-8010
1995 white Acura Integra, 119,000 miles, runs great, automatic, all power, sunroof, heat, and dc sports exhaust sway bars. $2,300 obo also looking for a trade bigger car / 484-6950775
2br - House for Rent! (Salisbury)One, 2-bedroom house for lease! (Rental rate is $900 per month) Private, off-street parking for tenants. Property is located in a scenic BARTENDER Roosevelt’s 21st is looking to wood area, but close to lot of amenitites! Close to I-78, just off hire experienced bartenders. of Emmaus Ave. $900/month 1328 West Tilghman St, For more info call: 610-972-7121 Allentown, PA 21 East Elizabeth Ave, Bethlehem, PA Send resume or apply in person at either location.
2001 Chevy Blazer 130k miles, automatic - runs and drives great, 4 new tires, new CD player, great motor and trans. $1995 / 484-788-9945
APPLY TODAY START TOMORROW!!! Leading Distribution Company is seeking experienced Sit down forklift operators. Hotel Housekeeping • Selecting / Order Picking (Comfort Inn Quakertown) • must be able to lift 50lbs. now accepting applications for • Pre-Employment Check / Drug the position of Room Attendant. • Screening Required is. Weekends are mandatory. No 941 Marcon Blvd Suite 101 Allentown, Pa 18018 calls please. Reply with resume or employment applications are 610-264-1200 available and being accepted at RESTAURANT hotel front desk 24 hours a day. Massage Therapist Seeking Massage Therapists Experience Preferred Call 610-262-9580
THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show, where you have to answer questions to win the cash prize. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show’s host could ask her the big question. Needless to say, Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous and fidgety as her husband drove them home. “I’ve just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are. You know I’m not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.” “Relax, honey,” her husband, Roger, reassured her. “It will all be OK.” Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. “Where are you going?” Jane asked. “I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon” he replied. Jane waited impatiently for Roger’s return. After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. “Honey, I managed to get tomorrow’s question and answer!” “What is it?” she cried excitedly. “OK. The question is: ‘What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?’ And the answer is ‘The head, the heart, and the penis.’ “ Shortly after that, the couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling confident and at ease, plummeting into a deep and restful slumber. At 3:30 in the morning, however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. “The head, the heart, and the penis,” Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly. So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel the butterflies conquering her stomach and nervousness running through her veins. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days events, faced Jane and asked the big question. “Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds.” “Hmm, uhm, the head?” she said nervously. “Very good. Six seconds.” “Eh, uh, the heart?” “Very good! Four seconds.” “I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning...” “That’s close enough,” said the game show host, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!”
Some things that make you go hmmm.... 1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways? 2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? 3. Can I yell “movie” in a crowded firehouse? 4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 5. How do a fool and his money GET together? 6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways? 7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down? 8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation? Page 44
9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? 10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
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THE VALLEY BEAT AUGUST 14, 2013
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MODEL BEAT
Age: 29 Allentown, PA
Would you like to be considered for Model of the Week? Contact randy@donatellimodels.com or mickey@donatellimodels.com
PAGE 47
What do you do to make $$? Dental Assistant, Print, Promotional Model, & Bartender. Are you? Single, dating, engaged, or married? Kissing Frogs…looking for a prince. How would our readers get to know you or become your friend? Contact My Agent: Randy@DonatelliModels.Com. 610-921-5582-- Ask for Randy! Where was your best vacation destination? I haven’t found it yet! What do you do to relax? Yoga, Turn off all communication with the outside world, no phone-no computer. What sports do you watch the most? Hockey! What is your favorite alcoholic beverage? White wine if I am at home. Ketle 1 if I am out! What happens to be your worst vice? Workaholic. What is your best feature? I am well rounded, bubbly, and ambitious, educated, cultured, and can be a total wild child! I also love my cheekbones. What TV show do you never miss each week? American Horror Story. What movie would you recommend to our readers? Gasland 1 and 2. What is at the top of your “Bucket List?” Travel! Are you a Spender or a Saver? Saver. What have you done in the last year that you would think is news to our readers? I have met and excelled in every goal I have set for myself in the past year professionally and personally. What do you sleep in? A bed, Commando. What is the worst pick-up line ever tried on you? “The only STD I have is sexually transmitted desire...for you.” What do you want guys to know about sex/ relationships that you wish they knew (but they don’t)!? Silence is a girl’s loudest cry you know she is really hurt when she starts to ignore you.
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