Be safe. Stay Strong.
June 18, 2020 • THE VILLAGER | PAGE 15
Inoculating ourselves with an emotional vaccine I received a distressing phone call from a close friend. She was sobbing and so undone because she had lost her job due to the COVID crisis. She was breathless while relaying to me that she was pacing and distraught. As a single mother and the only income earner, how was she going to manage?? At that moment, I had two choices, I could join into her hysteria and cry with her at the injustice and fear of it all or I could stop, tell her to breathe and give her hope through a kind and empathetic response. That is the response of a mature adult. What, however, is she demonstrating to her children who are not mature, and do not have the brain development capa-
ble of separating emotions from that of their hysterical, fearful mother. The emotions of mom are caught by her children. Children are especially vulnerable to the forces of fear and turmoil taking on the emotions of the adults in their sphere of influence. The emotional atmosphere of a home is incredibly important. Waves of emotions such as fear, worry, depression, sadness, gloom, and doom are contagious. Those who live in turbulence and anxiousness are frequently on guard emotionally. They can rarely relax trying to anticipate what is coming next. This phenomenon has been described often by children of alcoholic parents. They never
knew what to expect and it effected their emotional security and development. Even the most mature and self-actualized are susceptible to being infected with other’s emotions. When our spouse exhibits sadness or frustration, we absorb that same mood. When the energy of a home is light, fun, creative, nurturing and loving, we delight in that and mimic those feelings as well. Unconsciously, we feel people’s emotions that are shared facially, vocally, through body language, sighs, hand gestures and head positioning. This deep connection to other’s feelings shows empathy and caring. We must be on guard to not be infected by these emotions so much so that it drives us into the same negative place. We do
not need to go down the same emotional path. To do that we need to vaccinate ourselves with emotional antibodies. This is especially true with anger. When anger is demonstrated, many react rather than respond. We feel our chest tightening and go into the fight response escalating into a verbal knockdown, drag out altercation. If anger is triggered and we do not have emotional antibodies to keep a cool head, violence ensures. Social movements are about infecting followers with an emotional contagion. The objective is to motivate crowds to get worked up, become activists, carry signs, and scream at one another. Conversely, positive messaging is manifested by enlightening slogans such as, “We are in this together, do your
part.” The more we hear positive or negative messaging the more it gets amplified and seared into our consciousness. How do we inoculate ourselves against the negative emotion virus? Research suggests that we must be awake and alert. We need to eat well, rest, exercise, and take care of our emotional health. We need to develop a sense of autonomy when others are clamoring for our emotional energy and disconnect from others when they have emotional tantrums. We need to ensure that our children are not sucked into negativity, emotional chaos and trauma that could derail their emotional development. Let us be responsible to inoculate ourselves from the emotional contagion. We are all in this together. joneen@my relationshipcenter.org www. myrelationshipcenter.org
Remove cops from schools Continued on page 11
discipline policies and academic structures in order to eliminate racial injustice. As we engage in a review of the current disciplinary processes,” stated DPS Board President Dr. Carrie A. Olson. “The discipline matrix needs revision, or other outcomes that may be identified. A review process would allow us to get to the root of the systemic changes that we, as leaders, are committed to making.” “We now must dismantle white supremacy in our educators, curriculum, and our budget. This is the first step in a process to redefine our priorities as a district,” wrote Anderson. “I am committed to fighting for our principals to have a union and are paid a fair wage, I am committed to fighting for $20 an hour starting wage for hourly employees, I am committed to continuing to fight.” School districts around the country are following this movement, which is much more than merely taking police officers and SROs off school campuses. Moving forward, DPS will rely on its own security team. The same amount of funding will now, instead, be used for social workers, mental health professionals, psychologists, and restorative justice practitioners. As other districts around the state caught wind of the measure quickly coming up for a vote and swiftly passing, their
phones and email inboxes lit up from parents, staff and community members concerned that the same would happen in their districts. The key thing to remember is that every district is different, and governed by its own Board of Education. In the South Denver Metro Area, The Villager spoke with Dr. Brian Ewert, Superintendent of Littleton Public Schools. Ewert said he is supportive of maintaining the district’s relationship with local law enforcement and the SROs that serve LPS’s school communities, which include the Littleton and Centennial Police Departments, some of whom are staffed by the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Office. “They have been a fantastic collaborative partner with the school district and add a significant layer of security for students and staff within our schools,” said Ewert. Ewert reports that LPS has had no major complaints filed against any SRO in the past six years, and the district handles minor concerns immediately by the school principal and SRO commanders. “LPS has been very intentional to promote a restorative approach with SROs that seeks to avoid negative interactions, over-reactions, citations and arrests whenever possible,” said Ewert. The LPS district also collects annual feedback from students, parents and staff,
DPS Board of Education Unanimous: The DPS Board of Education’s vote to end the DPD contract was unanimous, 7-0.
both anecdotally and via school climate surveys, which has made district leadership aware that some of those who connect most deeply with the SROs are those who are the most disenfranchised and marginalized students. “We think this is because they also spend time doing home visits, giving students a ride home, helping solve conflicts outside of school, advocating for students in court,
helping parents find resources, and generally working hard to build relationships,” said Ewert. “For many students, this is a valuable opportunity to build a positive relationship with the police in a way that would never happen outside of a connection with an SRO within our schools.” Check with your district’s website, as many have posted a statement in relation to their relationship with the local po-
lice force they contract with for officers and SROs. Also, whether you have students in school now, are taxpayer or a neighbor to a local school, consider attending a school board meeting. They are open to the public. Currently, they are being held right now via the internet, but they have provisions to collect public comments remotely, and your input is certaimly appreciated.
