Wellspring Issue #50

I don’t want my kids to overdose on candy

At Misameach, the Purim spirit lasts all year In conversation with founder Lipa Schwartz

Kidney stones:

managing pain and finding relief

My Table

What’s your last chometz item to go?

MARCH 2020 // ADAR 5780 // ISSUE 50

Stop With the

Crackling!

How adults with sensory issues manage the Purim hullabaloo and all year round Q&A with occupational therapist Miriam Manela

For Venishmartem founder Rabbi

Leib Irons the community's health is a personal project

d e k s a Unm ?

A O t a s e n e c s e h t d in h What goes on be

NY/NJ $5.99 // OUTSIDE NY/NJ $6.50 CALIFORNIA $7.00 // CANADA $7.00 UK £5.50 // EUROPE €6.50 ISRAEL ₪19.9

More Tempting Than Cake

Seasoned’s mouthwatering, nutrition-packed food boards

Heart to Heart Almost every interaction with my children is frustrating

PAIN? Are you suffering from weakness or

Physical &

Aqua-Therapy EZRA CAN HELP!

Seperate hours & therapists for

MEN & WOMEN

Licensed Physical Therapists

State of the Art Therapy Equipment

& Specialized Therapy Pool Indications

Post Operative Joint Replacement • Balance Problems • Chronic Pain Arthritis • Fibromyalgia • Muscle Weakness • Limited Range of Motion

Increased Joint Flexibility • Increase in Muscle Strength • Decrease in Pain • Decrease in Abnormal Tone and Rigitity • Improved Balance

Book your PT visit today! 718.686.7600 13 12 3 8 T H S T R EE T B R O O K LY N N Y 112 18

Benefits

Fl av

milk ole wh

Great Source of protein

h

Promotes good ADL Cholesterol

ys. Now mad a d ew or f it or

Nutritious whole milk

F I N D O U R N E W W H O L E M I L K Y O G U R T I N 7 F L AV O R S AT Y O U R L O C A L S U P E R M A R K E T

en

Na For M

and Wo m

Nameless.Team | 718.581.6274

e

n

anic rg

ral and O tu

Making your hair stronger.

Stop your Hair Loss today, Before tomorrow it's too Late.

The only way to keep your hair is to do something while you still have some.

Find it in your local Health Food Stores and Pharmacies.

Lavenluv.com - 347.504.1212 Shop on Amazon.com & Walmart.com

Good for Kids

Bartenure’lE*

Freilichen Purim!

*Bartenura Moscato is now available in adorable 375 ml bottles, perfect for your Mishloach Manos!

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman, LMSW, CNWC

COPY & RESEARCH Deputy Editor Esther Retek Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Beth Warren, MS, RDN, CDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard • Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN • Miriam Schweid

FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes, Food Styling & Photography Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn ART & PRODUCTION Creative Director Baruch Samuel Designer Rivky Schwartz

Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC

Photography Sruly Rosenberg • Ruchy Baum Yanky Schwartz

Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttman, OTR/L

ADVERTISING

Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Copy Editors Shainy Borenstein • Malka Winner Myriam Miller Proofreader Faige Badian

Digital Rivkah Shanowitz • Chanah Singal Executive Account Manager Estie Rubin 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-412-3309 Ext.1 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION JMD Network LLC 718-972-0308 Esther@jmdnetworkllc.com

WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205

The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved.

Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

Tackling Tacklinglaundry; sounds sounds simple simple

Not Notsosomuch muchfor forthe theaverage averageyoung young woman womanwith withspecial specialneeds. needs. That’s That’sone one ofof the thereasons reasonsthe theRayim RayimDay DayHab Habwas was created createdfor for––ititbrings bringsreal realresults! results!

Community Community integration integration Money Money management management Shopping Shopping skills skills Housekeeping Housekeeping skills skills Computer Computer skills skills

4620 462018th 18thAve. Ave. Brooklyn, Brooklyn,NY NY11204 11204 718.946.7700 718.946.7700

For For more moreinformation, information,please pleasecontact contact us us at at 718-946-7700 718-946-7700ext. ext.330 330ororyou you may may email emailus usat atcbornstein@rayim.org cbornstein@rayim.org

Perfectly sized, perfectly blended—for on-the-go and good-for-you snacking.

And it sure doesn't get tastier.

The all-new BLNDZ yogurt has no artificial colors

17% LESS SUGAR

than and any other low-fat kosher yogurt. Every bite is chock full of 100% deliciously natural flavors your mouth and your budget will love.

From the Editor shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com

This Way or That Way— As Long As We’re Happy I recently bought my kids a delightful book on manners.

In her introduction, the author writes that by publishing this book, she admits that she’s putting herself into quite an uncomfortable place. Every time her own children won’t be exercising the directives she encourages in the book in a public setting, she would be in trouble. And so, she put out a sort-of disclaimer: I just want to remind you that kids are kids.

When I read that, it reminded me of my own life as the editor of this magazine. I don’t only get questions about content we publish, but also questions regarding my personal lifestyle choices. And questions about my kids’ lifestyle too. I’ve gotten my fair share of comments like “You let them eat that?” or “You probably never bring that into your home,” and I understand where the surprise comes from: besides for the “practice what you preach” expectation (I do believe moderation is very much encouraged in these pages, though), many of us have drawn the conclusion that if one favors a nutritious lifestyle, they no longer want junk food.

It’s as if we step over some boundary into no-sugar land, and there’s no looking back. Woe is to us if we still harbor that secret wish for a hamantasch. In my personal life, and in those of the women I work with, this has not proven to be the case. Not only will kids be kids, but adults are former kids, too, with perfectly human wants and needs.

This is one reason I love Shani Taub’s candid response to the question that was posed to her in this issue. As someone who has been leading a healthy lifestyle for many years, Shani is refreshingly honest when speaking of her childhood obesity and the way she feels about food today: “In many kids, it indicates an underlying issue, but in some

cases, like mine, these children simply love food. Honestly, I still do, though I have learned to practice self-control and to nourish my body with the right choices. ” So yes, no matter how much an adult may know about sugar’s detrimental effects, there will be times when we will still want sugar. Chocolate will still remain delicious.

Does wanting it mean that we’ll actually have it? That’s the choice we must make and take responsibility for, but denying that we like it doesn’t help much in quieting the desire.

Ironically, the opposite is true. When we acknowledge our desire instead of masking it, it’s no longer of the “stolen waters are sweet” variety, and we can make a clearheaded choice of whether it is good for us or not.

As this issue’s Torah Wellspring explores, only by uncovering who we really are and what our true wants our, are we able to experience true simchah. That is not only the essence of Purim, but the essence of our joy all year long. It’s when I feel that my core is not okay, that my secret wishes and desires are immature, loathsome, or selfish, that I find it hard to admit that I have them—even to myself. But when we realize that our essence is pure and beautiful no matter what, and it always will be, we feel liberated and able to be “ourselves.” What a joy!

So applicable to the month of Adar, you will find this message sprinkled about throughout the magazine.

Whether in the conclusion to this issue’s cover feature, Unmasked, where the Anonymous groups like AA and OA are explored, and even in Esther Frenkel’s letter in Seasoned, the message we come away with is “live and let live.” When we are able to accept every part in us, every choice we make, we automatically become more accepting of others. It’s this inner peace that brings us true happiness.

Wishing you a truly freilichen Purim,

Well-Put!

Shiffy Friedman

Being fitter and trimmer will change your avodah, which is the ultimate goal.

Rabbi Leib Irons, Cup of Tea

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 9

Contents

MARCH 2020 ADAR 5780 ISSUE 50 The Pesach issue of Wellspring will appear iy”H on April 6th.

WELL INFORMED 16

TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

20 SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS 22 DENTAL HEALTH

By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS 24 HEALTH UPDATES IN THE NEWS

By Esther Retek 30 FIGURES

By Malka Sharman 32 HEALTH ED Rock Science- Part 2

By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN 38 DEDICATED TO HEALTH 10 Questions for Lipa Schwartz

By Esther Retek

ISSUE 50

MARCH ‘20 ADAR 5780

Get Boarding These mouth-watering food boards are the perfect centerpieces for your Purim table Nature's Best This 50-calorie treat tastes delicious

123

Nutritious Ketchup For real this time

Lemon-Thyme Chicken Perfect for hectic pre-Pesach days

91

Wellspring is now sold in Israel!

LIVING WELL 42 IN GOOD SHAPE Muscles at Work

By Syma Kranz, PFC 44 ASK THE NUTRITIONIST A Healthy Dose of Happiness

By Shani Taub, CDC 46 FEATURE Making Sense of Sensory

By Roizy Baum 60 AT THE DIETITIAN The "Cop- Out" Diagnosis: IBS

By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

60

62 CUP OF TEA With Rabbi Leib Irons

By Goldy Swimer

WELLBEING

68 MEMOS FROM A KINESIOLOGIST Convince Him to Have Pizza?

By Miriam Schweid

74

COVER FEATURE Unmasked and Supported

By Ashira Becker

69 DIY Rapid Immune Boost

By Miriam Schweid

84 EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

70 SERIAL DIARY

By Rina Levy

86 HEART TO HEART

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

74

Springboard

Letters

On Obesity, Motherhood, Antacids, and More

Been There

invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@ wellspringmagazine. com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

More Good Reasons

Issue #49: Obesity Feature

Issue #49: Obesity Feature

Although I’m not familiar with the demographics of your readership, it would be safe to assume that, as a middle-aged male, I’m not your average reader. However, I do want to let you know that I am a fan of your publication. After reading each issue, I come away having acquired a lot of knowledge in this very important area of my life: health.

As a formerly obese woman, I would like to thank you for the incredible service you provided for the community in publishing the extensively-researched and well-developed article on the topic of obesity.

As someone who struggled with high blood pressure for years, I was so glad to see your comprehensive feature on obesity, and how so many of the common health problems we suffer from can be prevented or even reversed when a healthy lifestyle is pursued. I am living proof of such results. Today, thanks to the changes I’ve made to my lifestyle, including generally healthy meals (with treats here and there) and walking on the treadmill three times a week, my blood pressure is in the normal range, baruch Hashem.

Thank you for bringing these important topics to light.

S. Grunzweig

12 Wellspring | March 2020

The list of repercussions the professionals mentioned is lengthy enough to deter anyone from continuing to consume unhealthy fare. From my own experience, there were several very obvious effects that I noticed on my own, without needing a medical practitioner to point them out, such as is usually the case with high blood pressure or diabetes.

As a result of sugar overconsumption, I had lots of dental issues, constantly developing more and more cavities and root canals in my teeth. And I was tired, tired all the time. No matter how much I slept, I was always exhausted after yet another sugar crash. Today, I celebrate my new life by waking up feeling refreshed and eager to start my day.

Much continued hatzlachah, T. Rubin

Kew Garden Hills, New York

Quick Question

Q

What could be a cause of constant migraine headaches? I make sure to drink a lot.

Constant migraine headaches usually comes from foods. Drinking water is definitely essential, since dehydration could cause headaches. In your case, I would suggest going off diary for two weeks to see if you find some relief. If your headaches don’t recede, try staying away from chocolate and caffeine (in addition to the dairy) for two weeks. The next food group you can remove from your diet would be anything that contains gluten. If you see relief, then slowly incorporate the foods into your diet and see if the headaches start again.

Additionally, a chiropractor could also help you by adjusting your spine, which would help with the circulation to your head. Of course, sleep is critical, so try to get seven or eight hours a night.

Hatzlachah!

A

Take care, Chaya Tilla (Tina) Brachfeld, RN, health kinesiologist

Issue #49: Obesity Feature

I found the feature on obesity to be highly informative. However, no matter how much I understand the detrimental effects of being overweight (I am not obese according to the BMI chart), I still find that I can’t stop myself from eating the foods that aren’t good for me.

Although the emotional aspects of overeating were not addressed in this article as thoroughly as other roots and causes, the few lines on the topic did get me thinking. If I know all the facts and I’m still doing what’s not good for me, there must be more under the surface left for me to explore. I look forward to seeing this topic discussed in your pages.

H. Jakubowicz

Brooklyn, New York

Appreciate the Routine Issue #46: Hands Full, Hearts Fuller

The article about how mothers of large families manage their homes was really well-developed and thought-provoking.

For me, as a young mother on bed-rest, it struck a chord. Although I am grateful that the reason for my being laid up is positive, and it will soon come to an end, b’ezras Hashem, it got me thinking, “Do these mothers appreciate the ability to (give birth and) take care of their blessed families?”

At this time, my activities are limited to eating, davening, reading, and writing, which compelled me to write the following:

The hot soup is bubbling. The washing machine is singing its end-of-cycle tune, your toddler has just finished his lunch and is waiting to be cleaned when suddenly you hear a loud honk. You look at your watch and realize that oops —

its 3:00 — your daughter’s school bus!

You run out, grab her off the bus steps, give her a huge kiss, and put her down to walk back to the house.

Does this typical everyday scene sound familiar? Did you ever stop and think what a gift this is? Hashem blesses us with children and he also gives us the strength and capabilities to take care of them.

During these long weeks of being on bed-rest, I often experience this longing feeling of “I wish I can take my daughter off the bus…” and “I would love to cook them the meals that they like, and spare those sour faces that come along with a meal cooked lovingly by a relative...”

When I read the article, I thought, “I hope all these gifted parents know to appreciate their normal daily routine.”

Unfortunately, sometimes, we tend to appreciate things only after we’ve lost them. I keep promising myself to never complain about the daily chores I

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinions of the letter writers and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Knowing Isn’t Translating into Doing

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 13

Springboard

Letters

am unable to do, such as laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, shopping, and bathing.

I think about the many cholei Yisrael who are unfortunately unable to take care of their houses and children and how they would love to bustle about and do whatever it takes to take care of their families and be a part of the “hustlers.”

Rav Avigdor Miller ztz”l taught us to appreciate and thank Hashem for every breath, step, and blink of an eye. He used to write lists of illnesses, medical conditions, and problems that Hashem spared him and his family, so he could focus on all the good that Hashem blessed him with.

So next time you open your fridge to take a few apples to slice for your family, stop and think about the gifts of being able to walk, bend down, lift a few ounces, walk with these “weights;” to stand for a few minutes to peel them, and then serve it to your children — just the way they like it cut.

After all, we are truly billionaires!

Thank you for a superb magazine. I look forward for it every month.

Name Withheld

I’m Learning To Eat While I’m Eating Issue #49: Emotional Eating

The title of Shira Savit’s article last month caught my attention (though I do end up reading all of her insightful, excellent articles). I was intrigued to understand what “eat while you eat” means, wondering if it was a typo.

While reading about Shira’s explanation of vitamin A, her reference to Awareness 14 Wellspring | March 2020

while eating, I realized how little attention I pay to what eating. I’m happy to report that since I’ve been “eating while I eat,” doing nothing during my meals and simply enjoying my food and chewing every bite properly, I’m feeling much fuller after my meal is complete, and I’ve been stopping myself from just grabbing a bite here and there.

With much appreciation, Sara R.

Lakewood, New Jersey

Long-Term Antacid Use Issue #41: At the Dietitian

I would like to thank Wellspring and Tamar Feldman for the informative article regarding the disadvantages of longterm antacid use.

Here’s my question: Would the same advice apply to someone experiencing acid reflux exacerbated by pregnancy?

Thank you!

R. K.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, responds: That’s a great question. Reflux during pregnancy is considered normal and is generally not a cause for concern or intervention unless it’s severely impacting your quality of life. In my experience, oftentimes, overweight pregnant clients who are eating poorly will see some improvement in their reflux from general healthier food choices and smaller, more frequent

meals. If the reflux continues after pregnancy, intervention may be needed.

Hats off to Zahava Serial Diary

As a resident Baltimorean, I am so proud of Zahava List, who has done such a huge chessed for women around the world in sharing her personal story and hashkafah.

I encourage you to keep supporting her cause. Yasher koach for bringing it to the attention of the public.

Yeshuos and refuos for all of Klal Yisroel!

Warmly,

Esther Kayla Fleischman

Hold That Diagnosis #49: Springboard

In response to the mother who asked about her baby’s constipation in the possibility of FPIES (a rare food allergy disease) was mentioned, I would like to say that it’s very normal for babies who are being introduced to solids to be constipated for the first four to six weeks.

Several of my babies were constipated for up to two months, having only one bowel movement per week.

In other words, don’t immediately assume that your baby needs a special diet because of food intolerances or FPIES. Give the baby’s body a chance to get used to solids.

D. K.

OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY For kids and adults.

Does your child have issues with:

Do you have issues with:

Writing, reading, dressing, clumsiness, attention or ADHD, fine motor skills, sensory processing, muscle weakness, or visual perceptual deficits?

Shoulder, elbow, wrist, or hand pain with conditions such as trigger thumb, fractures, tendinitis, arthritis, parkinsonism, multiple sclerosis, CVA stroke, or low vision?

Don’t struggle! Sche dule your therapy app ointment today.

445 Park Ave Brooklyn, ny 11205 b e t w e e n

K e n t

&

F r a n k l i n

718.963.0800 • parcarecenter.com • info@parcarecenter.com

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

One Day of the Real Me Why Do I Wear a Mask All Year Long?

T

There’s no better time than Adar to discuss a topic that is so central to our lives: simchah. Since much has already been written about how to foster happiness in the heart, let us focus on a different angle of this desired state of being: what is it that prevents me from feeling simchah?

What is one of its greatest obstacles?

As we’ve discussed in the past, one attains the highest level of simchah when he’s content with himself — when he feels good about himself, when he feels worthy, and is okay with who and what he is. This does not refer to an egotistical self-approval, measured according to the relative lack of others, be it in my achievements, talents, or assets. On the contrary, it’s a state of internal satisfaction. It’s feeling perfectly at peace with the way Hashem created me, knowing that I am kulo tov, that I have an essence of good, independent of what I do or possess.

In other words, only when a person

16 Wellspring | March 2020

On Purim, the day that our wholly good essence is reiterated, we’re not afraid for our penimiyus to emerge because we know it’s beautiful.

feels that his essence is good can he feel simchah. When he performs a misdeed, he may — and should — acknowledge that his action was wrong, and he should do teshuvah. But, only if he feels that this deed did not taint his essence — which is good and will always stay good — can he feel truly happy. Feeling the opposite — that something is wrong with my essential self — is one of the greatest impediments to this state of being. As long as I need “things” to make me happy, whether they’re assets or accomplishments — which implies that I’m not happy with myself as I am — I am not truly in a state of simchah.

As long as we don’t feel okay with ourselves, which is our greatest source of joy, we will find ourselves on a constant quest for means of instant gratification, such as buying new stuff or attaining a position of prestige or status. But that’s not what we truly yearn for.

Only when a person feels that his essence is good can he feel simchah.

Is This Really It?

Most of us understand that external success is not where happiness lies, and as long as we’re dependent on something, anything, to make us happy, we won’t really feel happy — but it’s hard for us to believe that this is all we want.

Can it really be that the only thing I truly want is to feel okay with who I am?

On Purim, we have the exciting minhag of dressing up in costumes.

Ironically, with the “pass” to be more real on this day, many feel that Purim is the one day a year when they actually aren’t masquerading under some guise.

It’s the day they can be who they really want to be. All year, they feel as if they’re playing a role, living according to a script.

Often, an individual may find himself doing things that are not “him.”

“It’s not ‘me,’” he thinks, “but this is what I have to do.”

He’s doing it because he’s playing some sort of game, following the rules set by the main players. What is it that doesn’t allow us to be real, to be or say

what we really want?

We’re not discussing a desire to do something that is not in accordance with the Torah. On the contrary, we may even want to do something that brings us closer to Hashem, that connects us more to Torah, but we stop ourselves from doing it, because we’re wearing that mask. What is it that hinders our ability to go after our ratzon?

What doesn’t allow us to be who we really are in every circumstance?

We can gain an understanding of why this happens from a passage in the Gemara in Megillah (12a), which discusses the very topic of Purim. The talmidim of Rabi Shimon bar Yochai, the Gemara tells us, asked him which misdeed the generation of Mordechai and Esther did to bring such a harsh decree upon themselves.

“It happened because they bowed to the idol of Nevuchadnetzar,” Rabi Shimon answered.

If so, the talmidim questioned, why was the decree ultimately annulled?

“That’s because they didn’t do it

because they really wanted to. What they really wanted was to be erlich, but they were afraid of its fatal repercussions. And so, heim lo asu ela lapanim, they did so only for show.” They only performed the deed externally, in a superficial way, but deep inside this was not their true desire. The Yidden of those times masqueraded as servants of avodah zarah.

We learn from this passage that every time an individual does not pursue what he really wants, because he’s afraid of a possible negative outcome, he dons a mask. Because he’s afraid to show what lies within, he plays as if he’s someone else, something else.

In their case, the Yidden concealed their loyalty to Hashem when bowing down to the idol. In our case, we may don a mask when we find ourselves “on show,” doing things that don’t reflect the real “us,” and are only being done to impress, please, or draw approval. Especially when amongst others, we may be doing so to conceal what we see as the opposite: an essence that is tainted.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 17

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health

In our case, we may don a mask when we find ourselves “on show,” doing things that don’t reflect the real “us,” and are only being done to impress, please, or draw approval.

Why We Hide When we put up our show, it’s not about serving avodah zarah or bowing down to some self-righteous villain.

But it’s that same fear: I can’t let others see my true self. And from where does that fear emanate? That fear develops because we live our lives with the schema of “I’m not good.” I may be doing good deeds, but deep inside I’m not a good person. Deep down, I don’t really have the right intentions.

If I feel this way — that my essence is tainted, that the real me is mean, impolite, uncouth, cowardly, silly, or deceitful, and so on, of course I won’t want others to take a peek inside.

When I feel this way, I won’t only try to convince others that I’m good because of my deeds and achievements and the way I present myself, but I will also do things to convince myself.

That’s how deeply rooted that belief is within me. Even I believe it.

No matter how convinced I am that through my doing I will become someone worthy and upgrade my essence, the opposite is true. “Elokim bara es ha’adam yashar, Hashem created man upright” (Koheles 7:29). Each of us is created wholly good, just, and sincere.

18 Wellspring | March 2020

We were created b’tzelem Elokim, in the image of G-d, which is obviously perfect. This is our essence.

Pertaining to our deeds, that’s our responsibility: to do the right thing according to Torah. But even when we err, our essence remains unchanged.

In order for a Yid to sin, he must be under the influence of a momentary negative spirit because who he is is not in tandem with what he’s doing.

As Reish Lakish says in the Gemara (Sota 3a), a Yid only sins when a ruach shtus (a spirit of foolishness) comes into him, but that does not diminish one iota from his essence.

When an individual comes into adulthood having perceived the opposite message — that every negative deed he’s ever done is an indication of his unworthy essence — he comes to a subconscious conclusion that his real self must remain concealed. Why would he let anyone see the deep, dark corners of his “true self ”? He’s on a mission to hide it — and keep it hidden. And, as a result, all his life, he wears a suffocating mask.

Instead of letting himself “be,” of letting his beautiful essence come to the fore, and all of his deeds emanat-

ing from this place, he’s in “doing mode” all the time, trying to create a good image for himself and others (and perhaps distract himself from the negative feelings he has toward himself ). Such an individual, who can’t stand what he sees as his true self, can’t possibly experience real simchah.

The Gemara, in Brachos 10b, tells us that Rabi Meir used to daven that the evildoers should die, until his wife, Bruriah, said to him, “Isn’t it written in Tehillim (104:35), ‘Yitamu chata’im min ha’aretz,’ that the sins, not the sinners, be eradicated from this world?” We want the sins to end, not the sinners. Yes, we want the deeds to change, but even the evildoer’s essence is good. If we pray that the sinful deeds come to an end, their true essence will come to the fore.

Only when a Yid lives with this truth — that Hashem chose to create me as a Yid, with a neshamah that is and will always be flawless, no matter what, can he start experiencing true joy because true joy emanates from within. Such a person is like a naturally blossoming flower, which opens from the inside out, as opposed to a painted piece of art, on which the beauty is only a thin layer externally applied to the surface.

A person who is in touch with this essence has nothing to conceal all year long. He has no need for a mask because he is okay with himself as he is and is not on a quest of external “proofs” through constant doing to impress himself or others. Contrary to what we may understand, such an individual does not become less productive. His doing is actually much more motivated because it emanates from his good essence.

Our Sages tell us that Purim is holier than Yom Kippur, which is only Yom HaKipurim, like Purim. How is that? Yom Kippur is of course a very important day, a day on which we repent for our negative deeds. However, on a day that we’re focused on our sins, we’re not focused on our true essence, because we are not our sins. Teshuvah is a crucial part of our relationship with Hashem, and this ultimately leads us to shleimus, completion, but Yom Kippur is not a day on which we exclusively focus on and celebrate our essence.

On Purim, however, our essence is our focus. The fact that Hashem created us with a neshamah — that’s shleimus and will always be. That’s what shines out on this day, the sefarim tell us. On Purim, we’re not afraid of who we are because the truth shines out. This is why, the sefarim tell us, we get intoxicated on this day. As we know, inebriation allows for our internal world to become exposed. On Purim, the day that our wholly good essence is reiterated, we’re not afraid for our penimiyus to emerge because we know it’s beautiful.

I TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE VESSEL OF MY SOUL.

The Gemara (Shabbos 88a) notes that on Purim, the Yidden reaccepted the Torah from love. They weren’t forced to do so.

They wanted it. And the fact that they wanted it portrays that they were good. A person who is good wants good.

“This is us,” they were saying. “The real ‘us’ wants to keep the Torah, wants to be connected to the truth. The real ‘us’ wants to be kind to others, to honor our parents, to engage in pious conduct.” The fact that a Yid is mekabel to do good of his own accord is a sign that he is good.

When a Yid starts to realize that every part of him is holy, perfect, and good, exactly as Hashem wanted it to be, he starts to feel okay with who he is. Once he feels this way, he is no longer in battle with himself to conceal any part of himself. He is able to remove his mask and just be himself, wherever he is and in whatever he does. Despite being aware of what he could improve, and working to do so, he is cognizant that his deeds do not define him. It is then that he can be zocheh to menuchas hanefesh and simchas hachaim. May Hashem help the true essence shine forth from all of us. We should be zocheh to a simchas Purim — and a simchas tamid.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

SUBSCRIBE TODAY 1 YEAR SUBSCRIPTION

$59

99 12 Issues

wellspringmagazine.com

718.412.3309

Well Informed

Spiritual Eating By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Remember to Pray So You Won’t Forget How to feel good even when Purim comes to an end

P

arshas Zachor is a Torah commandment to erase the memory of Amalek and never forget their innate evil. They ambushed the Jewish people in the beginning of their journey in the desert, and also at the conclusion of their 40-year sojourn.

In describing the second attack, the Torah states: “The Canaanite king of Arad, who dwelled in the south, heard that Israel had come by the route of the spies, and he warred against Israel and took a captive from it” (Bamidbar 21:1).

There’s just one problem — it wasn’t actually the Canaanites who started the battle. It was the nation of Amalek, and they altered their language to sound like the Canaanites (Rashi, Bamidbar 21:2). Why did they attempt this deception, and why wasn’t it successful?

The answer is that Amalek understood the power of prayer. They knew that the sole source of military success for Klal Yisrael is through tefillah. They schemed to imitate the Canaanites in speech so the Jews would offer a misguided plea, asking Hashem to give them victory over the Canaanites instead of Amalek. Even the vile,

heathen Amalekites — the antithesis of piety and kedushah — were convinced that their only hope of defeating the Jews was to trip up their tefillah. Remarkable!

For all their diabolical designs, however, they blew their cover by not camouflaging their clothes. They sounded like Canaan but looked like Amalek. Confused, the Jewish People offered a generic prayer in reference to their enemy, “‘If You will deliver this people into my hand, I will segregate their cities.’ Hashem heard the voice of Israel . . .” (Bamidbar 21:2–3).

From Amalek, we can learn to remember that even they were able to appreciate the awesome attributes of tefillah and the indispensable role it plays for the Jewish People.

If we apply this seminal point to Purim, all of our mitzvos of the day will have a much better chance of being ful-

filled properly. Prayer on Purim is critical, whether in the context of “al hanissim,” Sefer Tehillim, or our standard nusach for Maariv, Shacharis and Minchah. If nothing else, the Megillah teaches us that Esther’s heartfelt prayers to the “King” were essential to help rally the nation toward teshuvah and bring about the miracle of redemption.

It is very easy to get carried away in the incredible excess of food and nosh that is literally flying through the streets and into our homes under the guise of mishloach manos. If we sincerely entreat Hashem for the clarity and willingness to set appropriate boundaries for ourselves and our children, we won’t end up with regret and remorse (not to mention a stomachache) serving as the all-too-often final bitter dessert at the conclusion of the holiday.

Real simchah — which is the underlying goal of Purim — is only achieved if, at the end of the day, we are feeling good about ourselves, not having compromised or capitulated for the sake of a temporary good feeling.

Let us pray to Hashem to not forget what the genuine meaning of this incredible day really is, and to ask Him for His help to fulfill the mitzvos with all their wonderful simchah, and not get lost in the momentary mania. Remember to pray.

Don’t forget!

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years.

Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

20 Wellspring | March 2020

EXHIBIT C:

THE JUMBO BLUEBERRY Jumbo blueberries are crisper, firmer, and juicier than their peers - and since they grow extra-large, there’s more to love in every bite.

5510 16TH AVE BROOKLYN NY 11204 718.437.4422

Well Informed

Dental Health By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS

WHY DOES MY FRONT TOOTH KEEP CHIPPING? When a front tooth chips, bonding can be a wonderful way to restore a smile. When the bonding chips, it can be frustrating for the patient and the dentist. How does it happen?

The number one cause of bonding that chips is the bite.

As much as people will deny it, many clench and grind their teeth at night. So, for many, a night guard is important to protect their teeth.

But, it’s not only nighttime clenching and grinding that can chip the teeth. Our teeth mesh like gears. If one of the gears is out of line it can chip or break front teeth or even back molars. Until the dentist does something to correct that lower tooth, the upper tooth will keep breaking. That may involve some minor adjustment or building up the bite in the worn back teeth. A patient with a worn down bite may need to cover the back teeth with crowns or fillings to support the bite and allow more room in the front for porcelain veneers or crowns.

This procedure restores the worn back teeth and greatly reduces the damage that could occur to the front teeth.

Another cause of chipped front teeth is expecting too much of the materials. While bonding is a great one-visit solution of many chipped teeth, a weak tooth is better served with a veneer or crown.

These have the added benefit of greater strength and a much better cosmetic result.

The key is for the dentist to take the time to make a proper diagnosis. By studying the way the teeth meet and the way they move from side to side and front and back, we can try and find the potential damaging contacts and gently round those sharp edges. By looking for wear patterns, the dentist can determine if a night guard is needed. Only after a careful examination can the dentist properly restore a chipped tooth in a way for it to last for years and years.

Dr. Jacques Doueck has been practicing family dentistry in Brooklyn, New York since 1977, and is a Diplomate of the Academy of Clinical Sleep Disorders Disciplines. He speaks nationally and trains other dentists in oral appliance therapy and state-of-the-art dentistry. Dr. Doueck is a member of the American Dental Association and serves on the District Claims Committee for the state society.

22 Wellspring | March 2020

Well Informed

Updates in the News By Esther Retek

FACTS VS. FEARS The truth about coronavirus The news about the novel coronavirus in China grows more urgent with every passing day. The number of related deaths has now reached around 2,700, while tens of thousands of people have been infected — most of them in China. People returning to the United States from China are being asked to remain in quarantine for 14 days, and businesses are certainly feeling its presence.

What’s really going on?

Firstly, what is coronavirus? Coronaviruses are a large family of viruses that initially cause mild colds. Coronaviruses are named for their appearance: under the microscope, the viruses are “adorned” with pointed structures that surround them like a corona, or crown.

On Feb. 11, 2020, the World Health Organization announced the official name of the illness behind the 2019 novel coronavirus outbreak: COVID-19. “COVI” stands for coronavirus, “D” for “disease,” and “19” for the year it was identified. The virus itself is now called SARS-CoV-2. Currently, COVID-19 has been detected in people throughout China and 24 other countries, including the United States.

Myth: The virus originated from seafood.

COVID-19 first appeared in Wuhan, China, in December 2019. Although health officials are still tracing the exact source of this coronavirus, early hypotheses thought it may be linked to a seafood market in Wuhan, China. However, a study published on Jan. 25, 2020, notes that the individual with the first reported case became ill on Dec. 1, 2019, and had no link to the seafood market.

Investigations are ongoing as to how this virus originated and spread. It is now believed that the virus probably originally emerged from an animal source.

Myth: People are dying worldwide from the virus.

It’s true that more than 2,700 people have died from this virus since December; however, all but two of those fatalities occurred in China, where the virus emerged.

The 15 Americans so far identified with the disease had recently been in China or had close contact with someone who became infected in China. In addition, public health officials report that many of the U.S. cases have been relatively mild.

Myth: Ordering or buying products shipped from China will make a person sick.

Researchers are studying the new coronavirus to learn more about how it infects people. As of this writing, scientists note that this kind of virus does not remain alive for very long on surfaces, so it is not likely one would get COVID-19 from a package that was in transit for days or weeks. The illness is most likely transmitted by droplets from an infected person’s sneeze or cough, but more information is emerging daily.

24 Wellspring | March 2020

Available in Regular, Lemon, Grapefruit and Orange Sparkling Water

Well Informed

Updates in the News

BEEP BEEP BEEP The sounds you wake up to may affect your morning mood You probably know the sound of your alarm in your dreams (excuse the pun). If you’re like the rest of us, it’s one of those sounds you despise hearing — even when it’s an innocent-sounding ringtone on your phone. Does the sound you choose to set make a difference to your morning grogginess?

Now, a surprising study published in PLOS One suggests that yes, it does. The sound we wake up to can have important ramifications for our day. The study’s lead author, Stuart McFarlane, says that morning blues are not just an emotional issue.

“If you don’t wake properly, your work performance can be degraded for periods up to four hours, and that has been linked to major accidents,” McFarlane said. “You would assume that a startling beep-beep-beep alarm would improve alertness, but our data revealed that melodic alarms may be the key element. Melodic sounds could improve alertness levels, with harsh alarm tones linked to increased levels of morning grogginess.”

As part of the research, which involved 50 participants, every subject logged what type of sound they used to wake up, and then rated their grogginess and alertness levels. The goal of the study was to better understand how waking someone with a particular sound or music may counteract their sleep inertia, which is the physiological state of impaired cognitive and sensory-motor performance that happens after awakening.

The results? The harsher the alarm sounds, the harder it was to get started with the day. Standard alarm clock sounds, like beep, beep, beep, were associated with increased grogginess among participants, while melodic sounds were associated with increased alertness. This is particularly important for individuals who have to be rapidly alert, such as children going to school — and their parents.

McFarlane adds that while a “popular and really common” notion is that frightening someone with a loud sound will wake them up quickly, it also causes anxiety, and this may lead to confusion upon waking, disrupting the brain’s ability to feel fresh and focused.

How will this help manufacturers and marketers? Companies are

26 Wellspring | March 2020

already researching new, pleasant sounds to replace the old, cold ones on many devices, so people can wake up properly, and transition into a waking state in a more effective way.

And what can you do about these surprising results? Change your alarm sound, of course! And if you’re the one waking the kids, do it with a happy song.

Available in Regular, Lemon, Grapefruit and Orange Sparkling Water

Well Informed

Updates in the News

PURIM PITFALLS Five tips to keep Purim safe for everyone 1. Away with the “toys.”

While many children enjoy playing with minor explosives such as bang snaps on Purim and the week leading up to it, the activity can be dangerous. These types of “toys” can cause severe injuries and burns and should be avoided. Also, toys with parts that shoot off or out, such as guns, swords, and even bows and arrows made of plastic can cause injury and should be used with caution.

2. Careful with the costumes.

When purchasing costumes, opt for those that are labeled “fire-resistant.” Have the kids wear costumes that are comfortable and easy for them to move around in. Avoid long or hanging materials that may cause falling or tripping.

Make sure that the masks your children wear have proper air vents. Don’t let children cross the street while wearing a mask; masks substantially reduce the wearer’s field of vision.

3. Beware of choking hazards.

Avoid dressing a baby in a costume that has small or removable parts. Additionally, keep an eye on those gumballs, nuts, and other small food and snack items in mishloach manos, which can also lead to incidents of choking.

28 Wellspring | March 2020

4. Drink safe.

Although intoxication is an integral part of our Purim customs, the mitzvah can be fulfilled in a safe way. A few things to keep in mind while drinking copious amounts of alcohol or wine: • Only drink one cocktail every hour.

• Drink water before, between, and after drinks.

• Have something to eat while drinking.

• Prior to drinking even one cup of alcohol, one should give their car keys to someone else.

5. Keep an eye.

If an older child is going out to collect tzedakah, know when he is leaving, where he’s going, with whom, by what route, and what time he expects to come back.

You may want to give your child a fully charged cell phone and have him or her call to check in with you at designated times.

With people coming in and out of the house, be sure you know the whereabouts of your younger children so they do not inadvertently wander off when the door is open.

Available in Regular, Lemon, Grapefruit and Orange Sparkling Water

Well Informed

Figures By Malka Sharman

SENSORY STATS 96.2%

of children with sensory sensitivity who dislike the feeling of their toothbrush

16.6% of children who experience some sensory overload

of autistic children who have severe tactile issues

40–60%

15%

more chocolate consumed by people with sensory issues than others, as a means of relaxation

30 Wellspring | March 2020

71%

of children with ADHD who have sensory issues

5%

of kindergartners who suffer from severe sensory overload, which is one child in each classroom of 20

(Sources: STAR Institute, PubMEd, Child Mind Institute)

2

Types of sensory issues: hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity

1-3

Age range during which typical sensory issues present

3

Times more likely children with sensory issues are to be aggressive

4

Times more likely children with sensory issues are to suffer from anxiety

8

Age at which typical childhood sensory issues are still commonly present

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 31

Well Informed

Health Ed By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Rock Science Part 2

The A-Z on Kidney Stones Each year, patients with kidney stone problems account for more than half a million emergency room visits in the US — and the numbers are only rising. While gallstones, which we covered extensively last month, are common too, kidney stones are more dangerous and painful. How much do you know about kidney stone prevention and treatment? Take the quiz below to find out.

1

True or False: Kidney stones are solids formed from a collection of salt and minerals, and they’re often made up of calcium or uric acid. They develop inside the kidney and can travel to other parts of the urinary tract.

Answer: True.

A kidney stone forms when there’s an excess amount of certain minerals in the body, which then accumulate in the urine. When one isn’t well hydrated, their urine becomes more concentrated, with more concentrated levels of certain minerals, which makes it more likely for a kidney stone to form.

Kidney stones vary in size. Some are as small as the period at the end of this sentence — a fraction of an inch. Others can grow to a few inches wide. Some kidney stones can become so large that they take up the entire kidney.

About 1 out of every 11 people in the United States will eventually develop a kidney stone. Smaller stones that remain in the kidney often don’t cause any symptoms. Most people don’t notice that anything is amiss until the stone moves into the ureter — the tube that urine travels through to get from the kidney to the bladder. Kidney stones are typically very painful. Most stones will pass on their own without treatment. However, a procedure may be required to break up or remove stones that don’t pass.

32 Wellspring | March 2020

2

What is a common cause of kidney stones?

Breaking Down Those Stones Foods and drinks for kidney stones Drink Drink Drink

C. Poor diet

As discussed above, too little water can cause stones.

Therefore, it’s imperative to increase fluid intake to lower the risk of kidney stones formation and to help the body break down the stones. Drinking more water will also help flush out small stones in the system.

Answer: D.

Lemon power

A. Obesity

B. Frequent urinary tract infections D. All of the above The state of being overweight or obese means that the body is being compromised on many levels, including kidney function. Individuals who are obese tend to have insulin resistance. As a result, the amount of calcium in the digestive system increases, which therefore increases the chances of kidney stone formation.

Even those who are just overweight and are not in the category of obesity are twice as likely to have kidney stones.

People who suffer from frequent UTIs (urinary tract infections) are also at a higher risk of having kidney stones. Ammonia forms from a particular bacteria in the urine. If it doesn’t break down, a particular type of kidney stone known as the struvite stone can form.

Poor diet also plays a big role in the development of kidney stones. Too much protein, sugar, and sodium are usually the triggers. Certain foods, including those that contain animal protein, can increase the production of kidney stones. Food that is also high in sodium, as well as high-oxalate foods, like nuts and cocoa powder, can also cause stones to form.

Studies show that drinking half a cup of lemon juice diluted in water each day, or the juice of two lemons, can increase urine citrate and likely reduce kidney stone risk.

Do away with the salt Since too much sodium can increase risk of kidney stones, it’s recommended to lower sodium intake to less than 2,000 mg per day.

Limit high-oxalate foods People with calcium oxalate stones benefit greatly when they limit their intake of foods with high oxalate content, such as peanuts, rhubarb, spinach, beets, cocoa powder, and sweet potatoes.

Shed the pounds Since obesity is a big factor, losing weight would be very advantageous. Exercise is especially important.

Begin by doing thirty minutes of exercise at least three times a week, then slowly progress to higher intensity workouts.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 33

Well Informed

Health Ed

Kidney Pain

3

True or False: Not drinking enough water may cause kidney stones.

Answer: True.

Poor hydration is one of the most common causes of kidney stones. The crystallization process that forms kidney stones is more likely to occur if the body suffers from chronic low hydration. In a poorly-hydrated body, the minerals that are found in the urine are not diluted enough to stop stones from forming.

Kidney stone pain — also known as renal colic — is one of the most severe types of pain. Some who’ve experienced kidney stones compare the pain to childbirth labor or getting stabbed with a knife.

Kidney stone pain often starts suddenly. Usually the pain starts when a stone moves into the narrow ureter. This causes a blockage, which leads to pressure building up in the kidney. The pressure activates nerve fibers that transmit pain signals to the brain. As the stone moves, the pain changes location and intensity.

Pain often comes and goes in waves, which is made worse by the ureters contracting as they try to push the stone out.

Each wave may last for a few minutes, disappear, and then come back again.

People often feel the pain along their side and back, below the ribs. Large stones can be more painful than small ones, but the severity of pain doesn’t necessarily relate to the size of the stone. Even a little stone can be painful as it moves or causes a blockage. Once the stone reaches the junction between the ureter and bladder, pain during urinating begins.

4

True or False: Once kidney stones have formed, the body learns to break them down on its own if they form again.

Answer: False.

Unfortunately, people who have had kidney stones in the past are at big risk of developing them again.

And the body will not break them down automatically! Even if they were treated before, there is always a possibility for them to come back. This is true even if a person tried changing his diet or gone through surgery to remove them. People who are more prone to kidney stones might do well with some of the cures and remedies listed below to help reduce the chances of these stones returning.

34 Wellspring | March 2020

5

Which of these are symptoms of kidney stones?

A. Urinary urgency B. Blood in the urine C. Cloudy urine D. All of the above Answer: D. Kidney stones often result in changes that one can easily recognize. Here are some common ones:

A need to excrete more urgently or frequently than usual may be a sign that the stone has moved into the lower part of the urinary tract. However, urinary urgency is a urinary tract infection symptom as well.

Blood in the urine, also called hematuria, is a common symptom in people with urinary tract stones.

Healthy urine is clear and does not have a strong odor. Cloudy or foul-smelling urine could be a sign of an infection in the kidneys or another part of the urinary tract.

Other symptoms include nausea and vomiting, which happen because of the nerve connection between the kidney and the gastrointestinal tract. When there are kidney stones, it can often upset the GI tract, which in turn, upsets the stomach.

Any of the signs above accompanied by fever and chills or shivering are a cause for concern. It can be indicating an infection located in the kidney or another part of the urinary tract. This can be a serious complication to a kidney stone, or a number of other serious issues. Any fever that comes along with pain requires urgent medical attention.

If you experience any of these symptoms, seek medical attention immediately to receive a proper diagnosis.

Stoney Issues Medical/ health issues that may cause kidney stones 1. High uric acid People who suffer from high levels of uric acid have greater chances of developing kidney stones. Eating too much red meat increases the amount of animal protein in the system, and will cause the uric acid level to rise, which promotes the formation of kidney stones. This also means that people who have gout, caused by high levels of uric acid, have a higher tendency to develop kidney stones.

2. Family history Like many other diseases, kidney stones are genetic. If someone in your family has suffered from kidney stones, whether they’ve had it once or it has become a chronic occurrence, this will increase your chances of getting kidney stones.

3. General gut problems.

Often, people who suffer from gut problems like inflammatory bowel disease, ulcerative colitis, Crohn’s Disease and other stomach issues, also have a higher chance of having kidney stones.

4. Medications There are a number of antibiotics, diuretics, as well as other drugs for high blood pressure that have adverse effects on the kidneys. If taken too often, these too can cause kidney stones to form.

5. Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD) PKD is a genetic disease that causes cysts to form within the kidneys. These cysts then grow so large that, over time, they cause the kidneys to fail. Since the kidneys no longer function, stones also begin to form. Sometimes, a patient only finds out that they have PKD when they start suffering from kidney stones.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 35

Well Informed

Health Ed

Out with the Stones Four common medical procedures for removing kidney stones 1. Shock Wave Lithotripsy If the kidney stones cannot be prevented or flushed out, then the next step in treatment is shock wave lithotripsy. This method uses shock waves to break up the kidney stones into small pieces. Most patients are under general anesthesia while undergoing treatment, which usually lasts up to 45 minutes. Once the stones are broken up, they can then get passed out of the body through the urine.

2. Ureteroscopy Another type of therapy is called a ureteroscopy, which entails a doctor using a tube-shaped tool to find the stones through the urethra. He will then either pull them out if they’re small enough, or use a laser to break them up before either pulling them out when possible or allowing them to be urinated out.

6

True or False: All kidney stones are formed from calcium-oxalate.

Answer: False.

There are actually four types of stones, calcium oxalate being the most common one. Here’s a brief explanation of the four types of stones:

• Calcium oxalate: The most common type of kidney stone which is created when calcium combines with oxalate in the urine. Inadequate calcium and fluid intake, or consumption of too many high-oxalate foods, as well other conditions, may contribute to their formation.

• Uric acid: This is another common type of kidney stone.

Certain foods, such as meats, have high concentrations of a natural chemical compound known as purines. High purine intake leads to a higher production of monosodium urate, which, under the right conditions, may form stones in the kidneys. The formation of these types of stones tends to be genetic.

• Struvite: These stones are less common and are caused by infections in the upper urinary tract.

• Cystine: These stones are rare and tend to be hereditary.

3. Percutaneous Nephrolithotomy When invasive but non-surgical means of therapy still don’t work, then surgery is the next step in removing the stones. One particular surgery is known as percutaneous nephrolithotomy, where a doctor will put a tube through the body, insert it into the kidney, and pull out the stone.

4. Open surgery If the stone is too large to go through a tube, open surgery is the last option. In this treatment, the doctor performs an incision and removes the stone or stones directly from the kidney. While this is also done under general anesthesia, a hospital stay of a few days is required for recovery.

Busting the Calcium Myth Calcium tends to get a bad rap in relation to kidney stones. This myth is most likely due to its mistaken association with calcium-oxalate stones. On the contrary, a diet low in calcium may increase the chances of developing kidney stones.

In order to prevent kidney stone formation, don’t reduce the calcium in your diet. The recommended calcium intake to prevent calcium stones is 1000–1200 mg per day. Eat and drink calcium foods such as milk, yogurt, ice cream and some cheese and oxalate-rich foods together. The oxalate and calcium from the foods are more likely to bind to one another in the stomach and intestines before entering the kidneys. This will make it less likely for kidney stones to form.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

36 Wellspring | March 2020

Well Informed

Dedicated to Health By Esther Retek

1

What motivated you to launch Misameach?

Over ten years ago, when my friends and I heard of a young boy in our neighborhood who was homebound due to a medical condition, we eagerly offered to come over and entertain the child for an hour a week. These visits quickly became the highlight of the week for the child, and unexpectedly, for us too. I recall missing one week due to a snowstorm, and hearing from the child’s parents how devastated he was that “his friends” couldn’t come.

Several weeks later, we heard of an adult patient who was also in need of entertainment. There too, my friends and I gladly offered our “services” and went to keep him company on a weekly basis.

So each week, we needed to come up with various forms of entertainment suitable for both children and adults.

With people slowly hearing of our activities, we found ourselves going to hospitals and patients’ homes more and more often. The rest, as they say, is history. Of course we never intended to be the organization that we are today, but our genuine, impromptu acts of chessed soon evolved into an indescribable organization that seeks to help patients and their families through every means possible.

38 Wellspring | March 2020

We started out with just a male division, but very shortly thereafter, we established a women’s and girl’s division, run by its dedicated coordinator Mrs. Leba Rochel Rabinowitz. From there, we went on to recruit star singers such as Avraham Fried, Benny Friedman, Yehuda Green, and Uri Davidi.

Then came the DVD lending library, which is comprised of thousands of Jewish or educational DVDs geared to children, teenagers, and even adults. We are also constantly hosting seasonal events for patients’ families, or just for children, during the most crucial times, such as during midwinter break, Isru Chag, or the day of Bedikas Chometz. Additionally, Misameach branched out to the West Coast, serving patients there too, under the direction of Mrs. Esther Davidi. Most notably, our Family Center is considered a home away from home for all those in need of a safe haven.

Our hundreds of volunteers, including highly talented individuals, are constantly making their entertainment rounds in hospitals, visiting patients in their homes, or taking children out for a break.

10

Questions for: Lipa Schwartz Founder at Misameach Founded in 2008, Lakewoodbased Misameach is an organization that seeks to lighten the burden and pain of patients and their families.

2

What is your current role at the organization and how would you describe a daily schedule at the organization?

As Misameach’s director, my daily schedule — if one can call it a schedule — includes overseeing the many operations, being in touch with families and volunteers, carrying out the considerable amount of requests, planning the events, and of course raising the astronomical amount of funds necessary to keep it all going. Take today, for example. We have tens of coordinated volunteers who are in many different hospitals, others are taking out children to give their parents a break, and we had busy morning hours in our DVD library. Later, there are some shows that are scheduled for patients that will take place in the comfort of their own homes. At night, quite a few private sessions have been booked for the Family Center and the recording studio. That’s in addition to the continuous planning that takes place for upcoming events for families; fundraising; and accepting the constant stream of incoming calls.

3

What would you consider the greatest challenge in running Misameach?

One of the challenges that keeps coming up is, of course, funding. This becomes an even greater challenge since we have a policy of not raising funds through the families we help out. When someone needs our help, we don’t want them to feel that after they receive our services, we’ll be coming back to them to ask for funding.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 39

Well Informed

Dedicated to Health

4

Can you share a story that highlights how the organization helps patients and their families?

A five-year-old patient who was suffering from an aggressive brain tumor was lying unresponsive in a Philadelphia hospital for several days. Without knowing what the family would like us to do in such a situation, we sent a group of volunteers to the hospital. The volunteers spent an hour and a half in the room. As they prepared to leave, they placed a gift at the child’s bedside. To everyone’s disbelief, the young child took the gift, began making some sounds, and within ten minutes she was talking. Observing this miracle, the doctors and nurses exclaimed that what they couldn’t achieve, a group of devoted volunteers was able to accomplish. This incident has remained in our records as the “miracle story,” but is only one of the many incidents that prove the importance of our work.

5

Can you share a story that reflects the yad Hashem you see in running the organization?

Running an organization that is based on such altruistic motives allows us to see yad Hashem in every step we take. We witness a tremendous amount of siyatta DiShmaya when we need necessary connections and “protektzia” to fulfill the requests of our patients and their families.

For instance, one summer, we hosted a special trip for siblings aged eighteen and over, an age group we find tends to fall to the wayside when a family member is sick. We arranged a beautiful Shabbos for them in Toms River, had an incredible Sunday barbecue hosted by Yaakov Shwekey in his own home, and then continued on for an unforgettable trip to Washington D.C. Many of the special privileges we obtained, such as taking the group on a VIP tour in the Oval office in the White House and in the Pentagon, required a tremendous amount of siyatta DiShmaya, especially considering that we reserved quite late.

Obtaining 120 tickets for the Siyum Hashas from the Agudah was also pure siyatta DiShmaya.

Another especially momentous occasion, which was only able to be executed with tremendous yad Hashem, was a private event we had back in 2012. It was two days before the presidential election, and we had an event with Mitt Romney, who was then running on the Republican ticket.

The building of our Family Center also afforded us a glimpse of the yad Hashem in our work. We were awed at how the project moved with unparalleled speed. From when the initial plans were laid until the place was up and running took mere months. That’s aside for the siyatta DiShmaya we saw in raising the necessary funds — considering the equipment alone is worth half a million dollars!

40 Wellspring | March 2020

6

Tell us about a memorable request you’ve received.

With thousands of requests coming our way, it is very seldom that we find one extraordinary.

Nothing is too hard or unheard of, and therefore we encourage patients and families to ask for whatever they’d like and we’ll try our best to fulfill their wishes.

On one occasion, a sick child asked to see then-president Barack Obama. With the right connections and of course, Hashem’s help, we were able to make that happen.

On a different occasion, two patients, one in Cincinnati and one in Detroit, both really wanted a visit from Mordechai ben David.

Since it would mean a very strenuous, exhausting trip for him, we arranged for a private plane to take the beloved singer to both hospitals on the same day — and delight both children. Another interesting request came from a boy a few weeks before he unfortunately passed away. He wanted a private cruise for his friends and family with some of his favorite singers on board. And of course, we invested all our efforts into pulling that off.

7

What do you wish people would know regarding helping those with illness?

For those on the receiving end, we want you to know how much we delight in giving and providing the best services for you. To reiterate, no request is too peculiar or difficult. Don’t be afraid to ask!

And for everyone else, please know that there are numerous ways you can help out people in need. You need not be talented in any way to volunteer and offer some time. People help us by doing simple deliveries, driving, or picking up. As insignificant as these acts may seem, they are so needed and so appreciated.

8 9

What’s the best aspect of your work?

Certainly, the knowledge that we’re doing what we can to help others during their difficult times, to ease their burden as much as possible.

The positive feedback we receive serves as the fuel to keep our entire team going.

Tell us about a recent event you arranged to lift the spirits of patients and their families.

We’re still feeling the reverberations of the major midwinter event we hosted recently. Since parents and families are desperate for a much-needed break during the long winter, we arrange an annual event to provide a few hours of entertainment and activities suited for children and adults alike. The over 1,000-guest event was hosted in a stunning, gigantic ballroom, where the Greenwald Caterers’ finest food was served. The guests enjoyed a fifteen-booth carnival, virtual reality booths, and indoor rides, as well as performances by a five-piece band and top singers like Shulem Lemmer and Yehuda Green. In addition, each family walked out with a beautiful gift as a keepsake. It was truly a wonderful evening for everyone present.

10

How do you manage stress that comes along with your taxing work?

With such an awesome fleet of volunteers, the stress is certainly minimized. I can always rely on them to get things moving, to be on top of the various activities, and to do their jobs to the fullest, which leaves me feeling bolstered and encouraged to keep doing my work.

Of course, the profound gratitude the patients and their families express to us gives us constant chizuk and encouragement to continue with our avodas Hakodesh.

Where Memories are Made

Of all the amazing services Misameach provides, the Family Center is probably the most popular and beloved one. Spanning over 3,700 square feet, the place boasts every type of arcade equipment such as racing cars, air hockey, basketball hoops, jungle gym, simulators, and crane machines. It also houses a virtual reality center, sophisticated massage chairs, and a huge fish tank. In addition, Family Center features a music room, professional studio, pet room, woodworking room, and art room, as well as a toy room that is constantly restocked with every toy imaginable for children to take home. The beautiful party room is the perfect place for patients and their families to throw the most unforgettable birthday bashes.

Besides the Family Center’s regular daily hours, when dedicated volunteers bring children to play, families can book a private appointment if they would like to have the Family Center to themselves. “People are constantly calling from all over the Tristate area to reserve the room,” says Mr. Schwartz. “During the morning hours, patients get their private time since their compromised immune system doesn’t allow them to be exposed to many people. The place is constantly abuzz. Friday, Motzaei Shabbos, Chanukah, you name a time, there is someone in the place. We seek to make the most out of this project and therefore often lend the place to other organizations who bring their groups to enjoy it.”

Many memorable events have taken place in this special center. Shimon Yehuda Brodsky*, the courageous boy whose story was shared at the Siyum Hashas, is a frequent visitor of the room and actually celebrated his siyum Mesaches Brachos in our party room with food, singers, and a band gracing the event.

“Another noteworthy event that took place in the Family Center was a wedding — yes, a wedding,” Mr. Schwartz shares. “This couple called us if we can help with entertainers for the wedding. Probing a little deeper, we learned that this giyores and baal teshuva were planning to get married in a house with probably a mere minyan of people. We immediately offered our place, and within a few hours, transformed our Family Center into a wedding hall.”

The room has received the most impressive reviews from patients and their families. “Recently,” says Mr. Schwartz, “a family asked us if they could come to the Center at 10 p.m., after having spent a taxing few hours at their mother’s bedside. They were there for two hours, allowing themselves to be distracted from their ordeal for just a little bit. That’s the essential purpose of this place: to serve as a retreat and safe haven for patients and their families.” *Written with permission from the family

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 41

Living Well

In Good Shape By By Syma Kranz, PFC

MUSCLES AT WORK

How to keep active even at your desk The word exercise comes from the Latin exercere, meaning to keep busy or to remain at work. But what the typical modern-day adult does at work is sit in a desk chair for eight hours, plus commute both ways sitting down. This is a recipe for ruin.

Sitting all day increases our risk for obesity and puts us in danger of back pain, posture issues, leg cramps, tense muscles, and sheer boredom.

But there’s something you can do about it.

Exercise is simply the act of keeping your body busy, using your muscles and bones while your heart keeps pumping. You may feel you have no time to do any such thing amid all the rapid-fire e-mails and six-person conference calls, but here’s how you can make it happen.

Sit Right Even when you’re not exercising, make sure you sit at your desk the right way.

It’s important that your desk chair be at the proper height to reduce strain on your neck and back. The chair provides support for your body throughout the day.

Adjust its height so you’re in a 90-90-90 position: feet flat on the floor (or on a foot rest) and your knees and hips bent at 90-degree angles. Keep your lower spine flat against the back of the chair to maintain proper curvature.

The chair will help keep the rest of your back and neck erect in order to decrease your chance of hunching forward, which can cause spasms in the back and neck and lead to headaches.

42 Wellspring | March 2020

Monitor That Monitor

Avoid Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

If you’re sitting at a computer, make sure that the top one-third of the monitor is above eye level, both to decrease eyestrain and to prevent hunching forward. Make sure you’re not craning your neck forward.

Individuals who rarely disengage from the keyboard often develop carpal tunnel syndrome. But this affliction shouldn’t catch up to you if you repeat this simple move every day: stand at your desk, and, with arms straight, place your palms flat on the desk. Lower your body slowly until you feel the stretch (you won’t have to go far). Hold for 15 seconds. Repeat as needed throughout the day.

Stretch Stretching is important and easy and can help diminish back pain. Try this neck stretch: touch your ear to your shoulder and hold it there. Then repeat on the other side.

For a chest opener, stretch your arms back as if you were trying to grip a pencil between your shoulder blades. Or try standing in a doorway, and hold the door frame on each side and walk forward until you feel a stretch in your chest. Last, try supported back extensions. Hold your hips and gently extend your back by bending backward.

Work Your Core and Arms The “Magic Carpet Ride” works your core and arms. Sit in your chair with your legs crossed and your feet on the seat.

Then place your hands on the chair’s armrests, pull in your belly and raise yourself a few inches above the seat, using your abdominals and hands. Hold for 10–20 seconds. Rest for 30 seconds. Repeat five times.

Choose the Stairs Lower-Body Workout For lower-body strength, try the “Wooden Leg.” Sit in your chair. Extend one leg out straight in front of you. Hold for two seconds. Then raise it up as high as you can, and hold it again for two seconds. Repeat with each leg 15 times.

If this is too much to remember, take the stairs whenever you can (even doing two at a time!) — not the elevator. Get up from your desk and go talk to your coworkers instead of e-mailing them.

Park in the farthest corner of the lot, or walk to work. Sip water all day. A homemade lunch with lots of vegetables, fruits, and whole grains will help you steer clear of the vending machine while keeping your wallet fat and your waistline trim.

Syma Kranz, PFC, is a certified aerobics, Pilates, and Barre instructor, as well as the fitness director at Fusion Fitness in Lakewood, New Jersey. What started out as a small exercise class in her home catapulted into a popular gym that prides itself with tzanua, professional instructors and an appropriate atmosphere with lyric-free music and proper attire. Syma specializes in training women to integrate fitness into their busy lives, paying special attention to proper form and alignment and specializing in core and pelvic floor strengthening.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 43

Living Well

Ask the Nutritionist By Shani Taub, CDC

A Healthy Dose of Happiness

I don’t want my kids to overdose on candy

Question: As Purim draws nearer, I feel a familiar knot begin to form in my stomach. I experience feelings of uneasiness each year as I watch my children devour endless quantities of junk food on Purim itself, and of course, in the days that follow.

In previous years, I tried the “buying off ” method, offering to pay my children for the junk they trade in, but I found that they became so possessive of their goodies that money wouldn’t talk to them. How can I keep my children from consuming all this poison and make sure their bodies receive proper nourishment on Purim?

Shani’s response: First, I feel for you. It’s not pleasant to be anxious on — and about — a day that connotes such happiness and excitement. So what can you do about it? Allow me to share my personal experiences regarding this Yom Tov, which will hopefully shed light on your quandary.

For me, Purim was always a favorite, though the reasons for that have changed. As a child who loved food, Purim was obviously my day. When I think of the mountain of junk I consumed in that one day, I can still remember the childish ecstasy — and simultaneously recall how awful I felt in the days that followed. However, when we view your question from a broader perspective, it leads to the more general point at hand: how can we foster healthy lifestyle habits in our children, not just on Purim itself, but all the time?

How can we do so without being imposing and demanding?

Those who follow my column may be familiar with my childhood obesity struggles. For most children, obesity is no fun, de44 Wellspring | March 2020

spite having Bubby and the aunts fondly refer to you as “chubby.”

In many kids, it indicates an underlying issue, but in some cases, like mine, these children simply love food. Honestly, I still do, though I have learned to practice self-control and to nourish my body with the right choices.

In retrospect, my experience taught me a thing or two about dealing with overweight kids. If there’s one thing you need to know, it is that you cannot “put a child on a diet.” It won’t work.

No amount of persuasion, bribery, or demands will help your child lose weight. Dieting or simply giving up unhealthy habits must come from the child herself, and it will, if you allow her to work it out on her own.

Forcing your children to throw away their junk will only prompt them to hide it next time, or to ask their friends for theirs. That’s not what chinuch is about. Instead, the most effective way to cultivate these values is by giving them a taste of healthy food, and, of course, being a superb role model for practicing healthy habits.

On Purim, my house is bursting with vegetable platters — since I make them for mishloach manos. In addition, there are delicious

fruit platters on the table all day long for everyone to enjoy. I also make sure to serve proper meals full of filling and satisfying food options. How many chocolates do you think your child can eat before his body will be begging for something normal? If there’s nothing “normal” available, your children might continue to fill up on junk, but if there are fruits and vegetables around, your children will eventually opt for that.

Breakfast on this hectic day is also imperative for a good start.

Both you and your children will greatly benefit from proper nourishment before the hullabaloo commences.

Last but not least, keep in mind that the day is supposed to be one of simchah and joy, and that the yetzer hara works tirelessly to destroy that, sometimes in the name of “protecting our child’s health.” It’s wise to make a firm resolution before Purim that you will not lose your happiness over what your child is consuming, and let the atmosphere remain light, easygoing, and simchadig!

Good Riddance What can you do with all the junk after Purim?

Although the transition is a hard one, most of us silently thank Hashem for placing Pesach so close to Purim. It simply forces us to get rid of all the acquired junk food much faster than we normally would. And those of you who have the saving-forever type of children have an even greater reason to celebrate Pesach. Even before taking care of your children’s bulging bags, do yourself a favor, and get rid of as many cakes and cookies as possible — and I don’t mean by turning your body into the trash can. I know that the guilt is there. (“She probably worked hours on this cake. How can I just get rid of it?”) But bear in mind that those who send it got their good feeling from having you receive it.

And what about the kids’ goodies?

As mentioned above, children do become overly possessive when it comes to their prized nosh. And helping them make the right choices is a delicate task.

First and foremost, we must realize how important their stuff is to them. I recall hearing from a noted educator that when your child loses their plastic keys, it’s as painful for them as it would be when you lose your real ones. Once we under-

stand this concept, we can smartly guide them to make good decisions. Keep this in mind when presenting your offer. If you propose 25 cents for that Kool-Aid double dipper, your child will most likely not take it. If money talks to your child, then try to offer something that will be equivalent in the eyes of your child.

When you offer money, you may want to explain to your child what he or she can obtain with this sum so that they will understand its worth. Depending on their age, many children do not appreciate the value of money at all.

If money doesn’t speak to your child, you may want to offer a tangible object or prize instead.

If none of these work in your home, you may have to take a different route with your child. Another very simple, yet effective, method is immediately allocating a certain amount of treats the child may consume each day. This way, you are not taking away anything from the child (at least until the chometz box is brought out), and they will end up consuming a “decent” amount of junk each day, instead of devouring it all at once.

Wishing all of you a simchas Purim!

Please send your questions to the nutritionist to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone. She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 45

Living Well

Feature

MAKING SENSE of

SENSORY Life as an Adult With Sensory Issues When every sound, sight, or object could be a trigger, the quality of life for those with a sensory processing disorder (SPD) is profoundly affected. How do these adults manage their condition?

Roizy Baum

Living Well

Feature

Cellophane wrappers crackling, blaring music wafting from cars and windows, heels clacking wildly on parquet, and drunken, hoarse voices screaming at the top of their lungs can only mean one thing: Purim is in the air.

The subtlety is in the way you react to the chaos. It’s the difference between, “Oh, it’s Purim …” and, “Oh no, it’s Purim!”

Why do some people revel in the action, wishing it could last forever, while others want to hide, running from all the commotion? Often, the answer lies in what is known as a sensory processing disorder (SPD), or what is more commonly referred to as “sensory issues.”

While sensory issues in children are widely addressed nowadays, what is it like for an adult to live with this condition? A sensory processing disorder seriously interferes with the day-to-day activities of those who have it. Zissy, one woman with SPD, relates that when someone touches her unexpectedly, she feels anxious for a while afterward. A strong smell in the room does not allow her to focus on anything.

“I can’t clean without wearing gloves,” says Zissy, “and if the kids have music playing, I can’t concentrate on what I’m doing. It’s far from simple.” She also needs to sit and relax for half an hour or so after riding in a car or on a bus.

48 Wellspring | March 2020

For Chani, a mother of five, the issues are mostly cuisine-related. A finicky eater, Chani has a fear of tasting new things. She dislikes the texture of many foods, including numerous fruits and vegetables, severely limiting the variety of foods she will eat.

A writer by profession, Peri credits her job to her SPD. Car sickness being her only limitation, she couldn’t handle traveling on buses too much. Forced to work locally, Peri gave up her dream of teaching and became a writer instead.

For Mindy, SPD doesn’t interfere much anymore. Today, her symptoms are within normal range. Her biggest problem was visual vertigo — getting motion sickness from seeing too much motion, not from actually being in motion. Mindy thinks back to the bumpy beginnings. “The typical story of vertigo in the supermarket aisles — that was me. Having a bunch of little kids running around the house was very, very hard. I was also sensitive to many sounds and frequencies, and in terms of tactile, I wasn’t comfortable with wetness.”

Sleep was a big factor in how she managed, Mindy remembers.

When she got enough sleep (not so much during child-raising years), it was more manageable. When she got less, she ended up spending a lot of time in bed, almost like she was experiencing migraines, due to being wiped out by the light and noise, but thankfully without the pain of a powerful headache. “One thing is for sure,” Mindy continues, “my kids grew up pretty normal thanks to a lot of siyatta diShmaya.”

Like Zissy, Mindy also has issues with cleaning. “I still avoid washing dishes, even with gloves, because of the noise and motion and wetness, but once a week, as part of my Shabbos preparations, I take a deep breath, put on my gloves, and just do it. And it’s okay.”

What Is SPD? SPD affects how the brain treats sensory input and information. When the brain regularly misinterprets signals from one of the five senses, a sensory processing disorder is suspected. These disorders present as a misreading of sensory stimulation, or as a feeling of being overwhelmed by that input.

Soft sounds may be heard loudly; a tap on the shoulder may feel like a punch; and a dim light may appear blinding. At times, the sensation is so intense that the person experiencing it can barely focus on anything else. Of course, everyone processes things differently, which is why some people can wear scratchy wool sweaters while others break out in hives from them. But when someone has SPD, that wooly feeling may cause real physical pain.

Though SPD is usually associated with children, many adults experience symptoms of it, too — symptoms that have usually been present since childhood. Adults generally develop coping mechanisms to help them regulate their SPD and make it less perceptible.

All in the Mind?

Is SPD a real disorder? The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that there is an ongoing debate between doctors about the status of this condition. Some physicians believe that an SPD diagnosis could really just be explained as a common childhood behavior. According to them, some kids are just super sensitive. Others believe that SPD is merely a symptom of something else, like Asperger’s, ADD, ADHD, anxiety, and so on, and is not a separate disorder in and of itself. Other doctors argue that SPD is indeed a condition worthy of its own name. Such professionals clearly notice that some children and adults have genuine issues with sensory stimuli. And for those experiencing it, this disorder is indeed very real.

Chani, like many others I interviewed, always knew she was an extremely picky eater, but never labeled it a “sensory issue” until she had her first “sensory” child. Chani reflects back to when she

realized she had a real concern. “I never got an official diagnosis, but my children did, and through their issues I saw that I had sensory issues as well.”

When an adult has undiagnosed SPD, she might assume she’s strange and even avoid seeking treatment. At times, adults might withdraw from noisy crowds, events with strong lights, or sensations that are painful or overwhelming. Unlike children, adults learn to deal with their SPD by finding ways to hide their difficulties. They also avoid triggers as much as possible.

D

id you say “high protein AND low fat”?!

Sign me up, any time! Or just give me a

taste of this delicious Mehadrin Fit N’ Free cottage cheese. Unlike other low-fat cottage cheeses, this one has the perfect texture and taste – and keeps me full for hours, which is perfect when I have a busy schedule. I love pairing it with fruits or vegetables, or just digging in plain. Honestly, this light cottage cheese is versatile to taste great with just about anything - so no need to

think

too

Hmm…looks

much! like

it‘s

lunch-time, and I have a Mehadrin Fit N’ Free cottage cheese waiting for me to enjoy!

“I hadn’t heard about sensory disorders in my younger years,” says Zissy, who also only discovered sensory issues when one of her kids was diagnosed. Zissy never sought an official evaluation, but when her symptoms were an exact match to her children’s, there was no doubt. Suddenly, things in her life started making sense.

Similarly, Peri only realized she had a sensory issue after her second child was diagnosed with SPD at the age of two. Once she began reading about SPD, a number of things fell into place. Peri shrugs off her issue, “I have never been officially diagnosed, which is fine because I don’t think it really interferes with my life. I can’t stand certain food textures, but so what?”

Mindy, on the other hand, heard about sensory issues in the early 2000s, when autism and Asperger’s were becoming the next “thing.” “It didn’t take long to realize I fit,” says Mindy, who was in her early 40s then.

Mindy’s diagnosis was not an official one either. “I was semi-officially diagnosed by an expert in adult ADD and other neurological issues. He said I was on some sort of spectrum, and it so didn’t matter which or where — all that mattered was finding good ways to cope.”

Socially Crippling?

One of the common problems many SPD sufferers relate is that the condition can be socially crippling. Although Chani’s SPD is mostly food-related, she feels like a sore thumb at simchahs. “Call it imagination, but when I go to a party or a simchah where all the other women eat salads while I eat ‘nebby’ starches, I feel the stares.”

“In a way it is socially crippling,” Mindy agrees. “I have trouble following conversations, even without cross-conversations. It’s fine if it’s just one-on-one, but if there are three women involved, I often have to ask someone to repeat herself, which isn’t endearing. If there are many people, I kind of shrink to the side, not to get too overwhelmed.”

Zissy differs from the others, saying, “Crippling? Not

at all! I do have to be careful with what my surrounding conditions are. For example, I am happy to schmooze in a park, but sitting in a crowded, smelly kitchen makes me gag.” Making sure not to have too many social engagements on one day is a great help for her.

Peri doesn’t find it socially crippling either. “I just can’t handle really loud noises, so if the music at a wedding is too loud, I end up leaving early. But I enjoy going for the chuppah a lot more, anyway. The same is true for a Simchas Beis Hashoeiva, when it gets too loud.” Eating in restaurants with dimmed lighting and loud music is a total nogo. Malls fall under the same category. Peri tries to visit shopping centers only when they are quiet, avoiding them when they are busy. An introvert at heart, all of this is just fine for her.

Save the Suffering As Yidden, chaotic occasions and noisy events are things we often contend with. How do SPD sufferers prepare for such events?

“If I need to go to a chaotic event for more than a few hours,” Peri notes, “I take a book and look for a quiet place to get some down time. Just last week, for example, I went away for a busy family Shabbos. The downtime came into great use.” Another thing that works for Peri is a good walk.

Giving herself time to calm down afterward helps Zissy tremendously. If the event is extremely noisy, like many weddings are, she will only stay for a very short time, explaining that at such an event her “heart starts to pound harder than I can cope with.”

Mindy deals just by … dealing: she sort of made peace with the situation. “As I said, things are much better now. I expect not to be comfortable, and I’m not comfortable, and I go anyway. Or I don’t. I never missed attending anything, but I certainly didn’t participate fully.”

“Personally,” Chani adds, “I am not bothered by noisy events, but my 4-year-old son is. He tends to scream and cry at simchahs, but we just try to calm him down.” She shares how she once missed a salmon-tasting event in her bungalow colony because she would not touch fish with a 10-foot pole.

Sensory Smart Experts agree that an essential part of SPD treatment is learning to cope with the disorder. Therapy is very effective in teaching coping strategies. Sessions are usually led by trained occupational therapists, who develop highly

. s u o i c i l De . t a F Lowne. o t s u j k c i Don’t p

Living Well

Feature

customized plans based on the particular sensitivities a person has.

Those with personal experience offered a plethora of helpful tips and coping strategies.

Mindy advises those facing SPD to get craniosacral therapy from an experienced and qualified professional. Zissy agrees that getting therapy, whichever modality you choose, is essential. “Go for therapy as young as possible,” Zissy says. “One of my kids was in therapy from when he was only 8 months old, and today, at the age of 10, has no sign of it left. Another son, who only started at age 4, was never satisfactorily dealt with. Also, accept yourself for who you are and don’t apologize! You don’t have to enjoy specific things, and you’re allowed to need your space.”

She continues, “Frankly, if you invite friends over to your house for a coffee because of your aversion to restaurant smells, or when you learn to invite only one guest at a time for Shabbos because more than that causes you discomfort, or you take two hours a day of off-time when you have sleepover guests, your visitors will appreciate your openness and honesty. Many guests have thanked me afterward for a really enjoyable stay. Learning to accept yourself as you are gives you the tools to enjoy your life.”

“Also,” Zissy continues, “learn to tell your kids what you really like or dislike. My kids know never to touch my face, but they can climb on my lap with pleasure.”

“The trick,” shares Chani, “is to slowly desensitize yourself.

When I discovered that I liked the taste of grapes but was bothered by the texture, I cut them into thirds and forced myself to eat one-third of a grape before each meal or snack I ate. I worked my way up slowly until I was eating several whole grapes at a time.

Then I worked my way up and started with other fruits and vegetables, one slice at a time.”

Figuring It Out Parents may recognize that their child’s behavior is not typical.

But most parents may not know why. Discuss your concerns with your doctor and seek a referral to an occupational therapist. By using a series of questions and observations to make a diagnosis, OTs can assess children for SPD. Parents should never ignore their intuition — if a behavior is concerning, delve into it.

The cause of SPD is still unknown. Doctors are exploring a genetic link, which means it could possibly run in families. While some parents don’t see it in their children, others do — in a big way. But what happens when it comes to dealing with offspring who exhibit SPD symptoms, which are at times a mirror of your own and at other times completely new to you?

“My children get therapy to help with their sensory issues,” 52 Wellspring | March 2020

relates Chani, who is very pro-therapy. “We have used brushing, deep-pressure massage, joint compressions, swinging, moving the kids in slow, circular motions, and more, to help desensitize them.

“My son has an aversion to bread. He will not willingly touch a piece of bread. We’ve been using SOS (the sequential oral sensory approach to feeding therapy, which uses a systematic approach to address the sensory processing and oral motor skills a child requires in order to consume a variety of foods and textures) to help him adjust to it. After more than a year of therapy, he started to happily eat bite-sized pieces of rye bread with peanut butter or tuna fish on it. (He loves the peanut butter and tuna, so he was willing to tolerate a bit of bread under them.) But he only ate it in therapy. He was never willing to touch it at home.

“Then we switched to challah instead of rye bread, and we were back to square one. The therapist started with just having him bring the bread — in a bag — to her and squish it or bang on it like a drum. Then came taking it out of the bag, breaking off pieces to give to other people, touching pieces to his nose and chin, and finally his lips. Then came sticking out his tongue and bringing the challah to his tongue for three quick touches. Then he learned to put it in his mouth and leave it there for a few seconds. Now he puts tiny pieces into his mouth, but he gags on them as he chews and swallows. The pieces will get bigger with time, as he becomes more used to it.

“He also gets a prize if he’s willing to pass one person a piece of challah on Shabbos, because we want to continue his progress even at home. He usually refuses, regardless of the size of the prize. Last week he actually did it — he picked up a piece of challah and handed it to my daughter — and we were all so proud.

He got two prizes from his therapist for that.” An air of triumph carries through the lines. Every step of progress is a reason for celebration.

After figuring out what makes her kids tick, Peri shows understanding. “If my kids can’t stand certain kinds of garments, I try to be understanding. I never made my sensory daughter wear tights, because I know what it means to be sensory. And I didn’t want her to associate frumkeit with physical discomfort. Baruch Hashem, she grew up fine, but I did have to send her to a school that didn’t overfocus on externals and was more into building girls who had a real, deep connection with Hashem and their inner selves.

“Additionally, when my son couldn’t stand pajamas with cuffs, I didn’t buy them. But I did do numerous exercises with him that his OT gave me to do. They were fun and the whole family loved them! For my kids who had trouble with different foods, I was fine if there were enough other foods they could eat; if there weren’t, then I tried to be accommodating.

Soft sounds may

be heard loudly; a tap on the

shoulder may feel

like a punch; and a dim light may

appear blinding.

“I have one daughter who faced a big hurdle when she was expecting her first child. She doesn’t like the way food feels on a spoon, so she eats a bit at a time. It takes her a long time to finish a meal, but during pregnancy, her sensory issues flared up big time.

This was a problem because it she wasn’t eating enough to nourish her baby. But, baruch Hashem, she got over it. My goal more than anything was to avoid giving her an eating disorder, so I tried to keep it all very unemotional. We tried to figure out which foods she liked and make them available for her, and if I was serving something with ketchup or a red sauce, I would make sure she had an alternative.”

Zissy also has her personalized coping toolkit. “We have weighted blankets, quiet corners, and room partitions. My apartment is rather small, and we want to ensure privacy for those who need it,” she maintains.

Exercise equipment is all over the place in Zissy’s home. At least twice a week, the kids do fun activities using play dough and modeling clay. “I teach my kids to say, ‘No, thank you,’ if they don’t like something. Additionally, I teach them the importance of giving each other space. I teach them to ask for space when they need it. We even stopped having guests for Shabbos because it was really bothering one of my kids.”

Zissy really tries to accommodate her kids. She has rules about music volume. Her kids are allowed to eat in a different room if the smell of the food is overpowering, and she buys all sorts of shampoo and soap so each child can have what he or she likes.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 53

Living Well

Feature

Sensory or Sensitive?

Am I — or is my child — just highly sensitive, or are we actually suffering from SPD? This is a question that confounds many people. Indeed, there are numerous similarities in the way a highly sensitive child or person (HSC/HSP) and a person with sensory processing disorder respond to sensory stimulation.

The key similarity between the two is over-responsiveness to sensory stimuli. A crucial difference, however, is that sensory processing disorder is a neurological disorder: individuals experience results in abnormal ways. High sensitivity, on the other hand, is a normal temperament variation that allows the nervous system and brain to process subtleties and details that most people would miss. Experts say that high sensitivity is not a condition or diagnosis, whereas SPD is.

Dr. Elaine Aron, one of the forerunners in studying sensitivity, and the author of The Highly Sensitive Person, explains in her book that “the highly sensitive person/child (HSP)/ (HSC) has a sensitive nervous system. They are more aware of subtleties in their surroundings and are more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.”

A highly sensitive person of any age feels things deeply and is incredibly observant in his or her environment, so such a person will be easily overstimulated by strong smells, bright lights, loud noise, and the emotional distress of others.

Also, they tend to process information more deeply, which causes them to become inundated — but this is situational.

Their sensory signals are not jumbled; rather, their senses are heightened, depending on their environment. When the trigger is present, they may act out in an extreme way. But when triggers are absent, they are able to carry on with their normal life. For those with SPD, that same trigger may provide the 54 Wellspring | March 2020

same reaction as a highly sensitive person, but the root cause is not the same. In a person with SPD, the response is consistent, no matter the environment.

“I was never able to pinpoint exactly why,” relates Yitty, “but I had times where I would suddenly become extremely overwhelmed. Watching people express anguish or suffering, loud voices and messes were often the catalyst. Sudden, and even gradual, changes were the worst. Transitions, like from school to camp or camp to school, were always met with panic and anxiety.

“After graduating, once I was working, I always dreaded when my boss would implement a change — even a small one — in my organized and planned schedule. Deviation from structure was always hard for me. Later on, I learned that I am more sensitive when I run on little sleep.” Yitty is now married, with a family, and is a competent coper. She leads a normal life, albeit with added alertness. “Sleep is not always the answer, but when I become edgy for no apparent reason, my husband and I know it’s time for some shut-eye.”

With HSC, although they may have strong likes and dislikes regarding sensory stimulation, tantrums usually stem from fatigue or overstimulation. If they had been well rested, their response to the stimulus would have been on a lower scale. Like in adults with high sensitivity, the brains of highly sensitive children are wired in a standard way, with sensory signals being processed into correct, albeit at times intensified, responses. Reactions are usually strongly emotional. They are very in tune with the emotions and feelings of others around them, as well.

Because of their heightened sensitivities, compared to nonHSC, HSC process more information all of the time, and

See the Signs “As a young girl,” Peri recalls, “I once went to answer the door only to realize that no one was at my door; I was hearing our neighbor’s door bell. I kind of thought it was cool to have such extra-sensitive hearing, like dogs that can hear sounds humans cannot. I felt almost like I had a special power. On the other hand, I can’t handle really loud music, so my kids have to bear with me and keep the stereo down to a very low volume.”

they can become overwhelmed and lost. Often, the resulting tantrum is defined as “not coping.”

The behavior of a child with sensory processing disorder often appears the same.

HSP are able to lead perfectly normal lives without the need for intervention. Maureen Healey, a leader in the field of children’s emotional health, especially highly sensitive children, writes in her book, The Emotionally Healthy Child, “The goal is to help them see their sensitivity as a strength and successfully use it to navigate their worlds.”

For example, a student enjoys painting near the window, with natural light streaming into the classroom. Light and nature bring her pleasure — she is sensitive to it. Yet, if she is aware of her sensitivities, even if there is no window, she will still paint.

Due to the fact that highly sensitive people feel and process things more deeply, downtime is very important. Give them space to retreat to when things become overwhelming. A quiet corner in a home or classroom — for adults and children alike — is a great idea for relaxation. They need to be able to remove themselves from others and from overstimulating surroundings. Providing HSP/ HSC with calming environments allows them to recharge, which is essential to their well-being.

Evaluation by an occupational therapist for SPD is a good idea if it seems like your child’s sensory difficulties are affecting him or her, as well as your family’s quality of life.

Chani’s memories are not as positive. “When I was in elementary school, we each had to describe a different girl in the class. The only thing the girl who described me had to say was that I had eating problems.

Of course, everyone knew who she was talking about!”

Learning how to deal with comments and stares is tough. Zissy still remembers a “pep talk” she received and can feel it in her bones as if it happened today. “I once got a mussar drasha from a neighbor. She felt I should hug my children more often, kiss them when they get home from school, and so on. I was bothered to the core and talked it through with someone. After our discussion, I came to the realization that the hype that you have to love your children in their love language only works if they feel that you are comfortable with what you are doing. If I hug a kid stiffly, they feel that.

If I blow them a kiss wholeheartedly instead, they feel the heart in that air-blown kiss. It is not always about the actions. Do what you can do with your whole heart.”

Zissy cautions never to ignore signs of SPD. Confusing colic with SPD taught her a lot — the hard way.

“My baby used to scream 24/7 — to the point where I used to send him out with a babysitter for a walk so I could spend time with my other kids. Until then, I had never heard of SPD, so it didn’t even cross my mind.

I knew my baby was a screamer and that was it. The nurse at the well-baby clinic checked his hearing when he was six months old by rustling a paper near his ear.

He jumped so hard, he fell off the table. I went from the clinic straight to a specialist. Once I started putting earmuffs on him, he started sleeping. Since then, I always work on the premise that my newborns may have it.”

So, if you’re thinking, “Oh no, Purim’s coming,” perk up your senses. You’re not alone. And know that there is help out there.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 55

Living Well

Feature

Do You Have SPD? Do a Self-Check If you can’t stand scented candles, avoid hugs at all costs and prefer going tag-less, you may be demonstrating some symptoms of sensory processing disorder. Take this self-test to gain a better understanding of the daily manifestations of SPD symptoms in adults.*

First car of a rollercoaster? Zip-lining from tree tops? My definition of a good time! Nothing more thrilling than high-adrenaline rides.  Very Often  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Never I avoid certain food textures at all costs. I’d rather starve than eat a mushy banana.  Very Often  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Never I find myself bumping into things a lot, knocking stuff over, and tripping over my own feet.  Very Often  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Never You’ll never know my real size, because I wear anything that’s loose and flowing.  Very Often  Often  Sometimes  Rarely  Never

The mere thought of sand makes me turn down beach-trip invites.  Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

I cut the tags out of my sweaters, buy seamless hosiery, and would rather wear my grandma’s housecoat than anything made of wool.  Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

Breathing from the bed next to mine or a sliver of sunlight entering through the blinds can rouse me from the deepest slumber.

Hugs, even from my nearest and dearest, can make me feel uncomfortable. Likewise, if the elevator door opens to reveal a crowded interior, I’d rather climb 10 flights of stairs than enter.  Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

My fingers inch toward my nostrils when I pass the perfume department.

Scented candles — subtleness notwithstanding — also bother me.  Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

 Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

Public speaking is way too much for me. The bright spotlight, the possibility of falling off the stage, and the squawking mike make me very anxious.  Very Often  Often

 Sometimes  Rarely  Never

Tally up your answers: Very Often – 5 Often – 4

Sometimes – 3 Rarely – 2 Never – 1

If your score is anywhere between 3550, you may be experiencing symptoms of SPD. *The purpose of this self-test is to screen for the possibility of SPD. Accurate diagnosis should only be made through clinical evaluation.

This questionnaire was adapted from the SPD Foundation’s Sensory Processing Disorder Checklist 56 Wellspring | March 2020

Q&A

With

Miriam Manela

Miriam Manela, OTR, is the director of The Thrive Group, her private practice housed in a unique sensory gym. She has received advanced training in neurodevelopmental treatment (NDT), sensory integration, attachment theory, and reflex integration. Miriam is also a certified Reiki practitioner and Therapeutic Listening™ Provider and a certified Tomatis practitioner.

How did you get into the field of occupational therapy?

From the beginning, I wanted a job that offered flexibility.

Most of my family members are in the medical helping field.

This goes back to my grandparents, Max and Blanche Kahn, who are the founders of Camp HASC. Plus, I always knew my work would entail doing something and being engaged with others.

It appears as if sensory issues are much more common nowadays. Is that so, or do professionals simply rush to diagnose it?

I don’t have the clinical knowledge to say one way or another, because I wasn’t around back in the old days. What I could say is that there is a lot more awareness today as to why people behave/don’t behave the way they do. The intricacies and differences among people and what makes them tick were never studied as extensively as they are today. Years ago, it was more black and white. Behavior was kind of global: either you behaved or you misbehaved.

As a therapist, are you surprised with how common SPD is?

This what I do, and I’m busy six days a week, so ... no surprises!

Is SPD more common in children or adults?

Both. It often goes undiagnosed in adults, because at the end of the day, although their level of happiness and adaptability is low, they’re still “functioning.”

How old is your youngest client being treated for SPD? A few months old.

And the oldest?

63 years old, to date.

Is SPD more prevalent in females than in males?

I think I see it more in females than males. Perhaps it is because I don’t treat males over the age of 17.

Then again, yesterday I got calls from two different men who wanted to be treated for their hypersensitivity.

Being that only women were interviewed for this article, I’d like to hear how it affects men.

When I’ve seen it with boys up until the age of 17, this is how it presents: They don’t want to get triple-zero haircuts; Adar 5780 | Wellspring 57

Living Well

Feature

baggy pants annoy them; going to a tisch or wedding is a big deal; and smells from sweaty men and teenagers are very bothersome. And just like hypersensitive women and girls get aggravated if someone touches them, they do, too.

What are some common signs to look out for?

These are some common symptoms that get in the way of function for a hypersensitive individual. People with SPD may have a hard time being in a busy environment. Noise startles or irritates them. They also often get upset when someone brushes past them, knocks into them, comes too close, touches them the wrong way, touches them without telling them first, or just touches them, period. Clothing sensitivity is usually easy for them to deal with due to the large array of materials available today. They may avoid certain smells or certain people’s voices.

On the other hand, hyposensitive people may not realize that people are speaking to or touching them. They often seek lots of touch, lean on people, intrude on other people’s space, zone out, and are not very alert to social norms.

In children, who notices the signs first?

Are parents always the one?

Parents, teachers, principals, and mentors notice. There are no rules. It’s usually someone who spends enough time with the child and is in tune to their actions and personality.

Presuming that most parents seek to help their children, do cases where parents are in denial arise?

(Laughs) If they’re sending to me and paying out of pocket they’re not in denial; although, I did have a few parents who came by force. The school forced them to come, and they had no idea why because “at home everything is fine, only the school has a problem.”

When denial is the case, I don’t worry. Once they start therapy and they see things change for the better, they realize the issues were there all along.

What do you think causes SPD? Nothing is confirmed. Birth risk factors, like when a baby is born prematurely, is often a cause. Traumatic birth or when a baby doesn’t get enough touch are other reasons, too.

Can SPD in children be prevented?

Something that gets me going is stressing the importance 58 Wellspring | March 2020

of physical bonding with your children from the time they are born. When your babies are little, hug them, squish them, and move them around. Be with them on the floor: floor exercises are very important. Rock them and rock them and rock them some more — in different body positions. Hold them against you as much as possible and provide loads of touch and movement.

What can parents of children with sensory issues do to help them?

Finding a good OT is obviously the key. But parents do have a big part, too. With hypersensitive children, enough sleep and a healthy diet is crucial. Give them their space and lots of downtime.

If your child is hyposensitive, you’ll want to give them lots of whole-body experiences, rolling, tumble sauces [i.e., somersaults], discovery zone, soft play, being on the floor together with them. Roll them in things tightly, hug them, squish them, all in close proximity. Water is also therapeutic. Let them play with water and give them long baths with nice smelling things.

What about hypersensitive adults? What changes can they implement to enhance their lives?

Giving themselves space throughout the day and breaks when they go to simchahs or social events can make a big difference. If they can handle massages, a good massage is very beneficial. Two to three classes of physical exercise and a couple of Pilates and yoga classes per week are also recommended.

What would an average case of SPD look like?

An average case is people who have that discrepancy between knowing what they should be doing and knowing what their body is comfortable doing.

Can you describe an extreme situation?

I wouldn’t call this my most extreme situation, but I recently treated a 16-year-old girl. She was seen by multiple psychiatrists, OTs, and SLPs, has social anxiety, and when I evaluated her, she received a treatment diagnosis of hypersensitivity type of SPD and unintegrated fear paralysis reflex, among a few others.

The first indicators were her arched back, stiff body, and unrelaxed, very not still eyes. Noise startled her. If I came close to her, she froze. Like other SPD sufferers, reported-

ly, she would sometimes get aggressive—physically, when she was younger and then verbally as she got older.

She felt conflicted. She was never comfortable with herself.

On the one hand, everyone told her to be social, and on the other hand, she was uncomfortable being around lots of people. Until her sensory system calmed down and she learned to understand herself and how to mitigate her sensitivity and respect herself, she was never at peace with herself.

Once she was aware about what her challenge and conflict was — between what she could do and between what she was told to do — that enabled her to be confident with her decisions. Part of the therapy is understanding why you are the way you are and then what there is to do about it.

The client understanding it is not enough.

The people around her must get it, too. How do you help the family understand this?

Definitely. The client is helped when the family members understand it. I do testing and explain to them what I see clinically. I explain how what I tested and the techniques I use to treat, correlate and affect what they see at home. I bridge the gap.

How do you bridge that gap?

Let’s go back to the 16-year old girl. By seeing her, I detected certain things right away. She didn’t let her guard down, clenched her hands, curled up her toes in a gripping motion, her eyes darted, and she held her breath. Looking out for these clinical indicators, and others, helped me explain to her family and to the girl herself why she didn’t like to socialize in groups, why it was hard for her to be coordinated in the play, why it was almost impossible for her to break into a crowd. Most people have “aha” moments during the evaluation process. They finally feel understood and able to understand themselves.

How do you help family members and friends of those with SPD understand that it’s not just nerves?

Through the testing that I do during the evaluation process.

An important thing to remember is that emotions and sensations are very intertwined. Each affects the other. Sometimes sensory experiences are uncomfortable for the sensory system and that can create emotional stress. It’s important, though, to get to the bottom of the cause, see where the stress is coming from and understand why those experiences aggravate the sensory system.

Miriam Manela can be reached through Wellspring.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 59

Living Well

At the Dietitian By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Cop-Out Diagnosis:

IBS

Have you been informed by your doctor that you have irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)?

Well, if so, you’re in good company: many of my clients have been told they have IBS, too. And while they’re happy to have a term to describe their symptoms, they want to know what it means.

In short? Not much.

While other gastrointestinal diagnoses such as Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis describe inflammatory conditions that are clearly defined, IBS is a vague description of a multitude of symptoms that can vary greatly between individuals.

Common symptoms include constipation and/or diarrhea, bloating, gas, cramping, and pain.

The unfortunate reality is that there is not much doctors can do for IBS, aside from giving the patient what I like to call a “cop-out” diagnosis of an “irritable bowel,” which just describes symptoms the patient was already aware of — without leaving many options for treatment.

Many IBS clients end up seeking out functional medicine practitioners for answers to their puzzling symptoms. In my experience, while there is no clear protocol for helping these patients, a few common, central issues may often be the cause of the symptoms associated with IBS.

A) Bowel muscular issues When a person doesn’t have full control over her pelvic floor muscles, or if these muscles spasm frequently, constipation and accompanying bloating and gas can occur. When the muscles aren’t working properly, they can block the anal canal, making it very difficult to have a bowel movement, similar to pushing through a closed door.

Physical therapy can assist with retraining the pelvic floor mus-

60 Wellspring | March 2020

cles to coordinate properly, thus returning to the proper anal-rectal angles. Such exercises can also assist with relaxing the muscles if they are spasming.

Sometimes, simply being able to relax will assist with proper muscle functioning. Learning and practicing relaxation, distraction (from focusing on the bowel movement), and meditation techniques can assist with this process. I often refer my clients to a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor dysfunction if I suspect that this is the cause of the “IBS.”

B) SIBO Also known as small intestinal bacterial overgrowth, SIBO is found in IBS patients as much as 35 percent of the time, according to some studies, including one published in the Journal of Gastroenterology and Hepatology.

When bacteria migrate up into the small intestine from their ideal location in the lower colon, they tend to ferment undigested food in the small intestine. The gas they produce can be uncomfortable, and can cause diarrhea or constipation.

With these patients, high-fiber foods can actually worsen their symptoms. Fortunately, there are clear protocols involving medications, herbs, and diets that can often partially or fully treat SIBO.

C) Poor diet and lack of exercise A diet low in fiber, fats, and fluids is often the cause of IBS-type symptoms. Many people are not aware that they are chronically dehydrated or that they are consuming insufficient fats and fiber to lubricate the stool, create bulk, and aid in GI transit. After education on counting fiber grams, including the right types of fats, how to space fat consumption, and increasing fluid intake, many individuals will experience a partial or complete resolution

of symptoms.

Chani* typified the IBS client I often encounter. She experienced mostly constipation, gassiness, and severe post-meal bloating, with occasional bouts of intense diarrhea after long periods of constipation. Her symptoms had started after the birth of her third child, when she had taken antacid medication for GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) for about a year, and her constipation worsened. After experiencing severe constipation and bloating, which she described as “making me appear pregnant,� with no success from Linzess, an IBS drug, or from MiraLax, a laxative, she ended up in my office.

After testing positive for SIBO, and treating it with antibiotics, as well as a week of consuming solely liquid nutrition, she followed a SIBO diet for six to eight weeks and reported less gassiness and bloating. However, she was still constipated, despite being on fiber supplements and MiraLax. From her description of symptoms, I suspected dysfunction of her pelvic floor and rectal muscles, likely caused by the long-term constipation. After working with a physical therapist for two months, and slowly adding more fiber back into her diet, she was finally able to have a daily bowel movement without straining, and her gassiness, cramping, and bloating were a thing of the past. *Name changed to protect confidentiality.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is a highly acclaimed and experienced registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator. She maintains a busy nutrition practice with offices in Lakewood and Edison, and via phone/skype to numerous international clients, specializing in balanced and sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune and gastrointestinal issues. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website: www.thegutdietitian.com. Follow her @gutdietitian.

Write to Tamar at tamar@thegutdietitian.com to join her whatsapp group for weekly gut health lectures.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 61

Living Well

Health Personality By Goldy Swimer

Cup of Tea With:

Rabbi Leib Irons OCCUPATION:

R

Rabbi Leib Irons is a founder of Kesher Yisroel, an organization dedicated to kiruv rechokim and kiruv kerovim. Busy with myriad learning programs, Israel trips, and mentorships, Rabbi Irons perpetually has a few projects going. What prompted him to launch a men’s health initiative, too?

“Well,” he says with a laugh, “it’s not like I had much of a choice. Four years ago, circumstances in my life forced me to lose weight and change my lifestyle. Fifty pounds trimmer and hundreds of books later, I realized I was onto something big.”

After taking his own journey toward wellness, Rabbi Irons created a program modeled after Lose 4 Autism and similar initiatives, to be used as a fundraiser. After that fell through, though, he decided to just take his idea to the general public.

62 Wellspring | March 2020

Chinuch and kiruv specialist, creator and founder of Venishmartem

LOCATION: Toronto, Canada

PASSION: Creating a forum for frum men to improve their health.

HE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THAT: Your path to health and wellness may be closer than you think.

Living Well

Health Personality

What Is Venishmartem?

The program’s name, Venishmartem, taken from the Torah’s directive to guard one’s health, says it all to Rabbi Irons. “I cannot believe how we’ve allowed ourselves to go so far. Why is going to a nutritionist an embarrassment, but showing up at shul looking like a heart-attack-waiting-to-happen is not?”

Venishmartem, he explains, approaches weight loss holistically.

The program educates, informs, supports, and guides participants toward achieving their optimal health. Great emphasis is placed on the reason for it all: staying focused on being the best oved Hashem possible.

Just how comprehensive is the program? For starters: in the Toronto area, there is no kosher gym for men, so even those who are inclined to peel themselves off their office chairs cannot find an appropriate exercise venue. Following the weekly weigh-in and a motivational class on maintaining a healthy lifestyle, Venishmartem offers a fitness class to members. A buddy system ensures what Rabbi Irons half-jokingly refers to as “peer support and peer pressure.”

Dr. Adrian Woodrow, a medical practitioner who specializes in weight loss, is on board as well, lending creditability and medical expertise to this venture. He offers metabolic testing and blood composition testing.

As for their nutritionist, Jason Spilberg, Rabbi Irons chuckles. “The first time I took him to a local kosher grocery, his eyes bugged out. He couldn’t believe the stuff on the shelves was even legal to be marketed to consumers! I think it was the array of kugels, dips, and the ubiquitous freezer section that shocked him.

And that was before I took him to his first kiddush ...”

He grows pensive. “We frum Jews have it the hardest, I believe.

Between 30 meals in 30 days during the Yamim Noraim, expressing love with carb-laden food, and our Old World-style cooking, many think we don’t stand a chance. But I beg to differ.”

64 Wellspring | March 2020

In It Together

Venishmartem is currently on its second cycle. The first ran from after Pesach until Rosh Hashanah, and the second started after Sukkos and goes until after Purim. When I tease Rabbi Irons that he oh-so conveniently omitted Am Yisrael’s greatest gastronomical challenges — Sukkos and Pesach — Rabbi Irons admits, “If we’d include them, no one would come!”

Through this program, over 120 Toronto men have collectively lost more than 1,500 lbs and counting. “I’ve got people stopping me and telling me, ‘I’m off blood pressure medication. I’ve tossed my CPAP machine.’ These are real people experiencing real benefits. By far, the most gratifying feedback is when I hear how many of our husbands, fathers, and sons are saying they’ve gotten their lives back.”

When I ask what makes Venishmartem unique, Rabbi Irons replies, “I think it’s the community aspect. This has brought the community together in a really unexpected way. You see people slimming down, and you know it’s Venishmartem. You see concerned individuals trying to change the way kiddushim are handled, and you know you’re seeing the impact of Venishmartem. It brings the community together — something the mekarev in me celebrates.”

In his role in chinuch and kiruv, Rabbi Irons sees his job as plugging the holes and filling the gaps. “I dedicate my time to helping the underserved — or, in this case, the overserved — of our community,” he remarks. Venishmartem is a natural extension of that mission.

Rabbi Irons’s vision is to see this duplicated in other kehillos.

“Each community has its own nuances that will determine how they can make it work,” he says. “But this must become a part of the conversation we have about improving our quality of life. It must be among our top concerns.”

His original dream was to make Venishmartem virtual, but he quickly shifted gears. “The community aspect is fundamental.

And in a virtual setting, the entire support network disintegrates.”

Making Venishmartem mainstream was a priority. Classes are held in a yeshivah, near a local kollel. Rabbi Irons has even offered free membership to rabbis and others in the community. At times, he has even had nutritionists visit people in their homes.

“It’s not the best business model,” he jokes, “but I believe some things shouldn’t be commercialized. Community emergencies are one of them. I occasionally give membership to klei kodesh for $100, and they get money back if they lose 10 pounds.” Membership includes weekly weigh-ins, class, and fitness classes as well.

He has linked Venishmartem participation to free memberships in other learning programs as well, adding further incentive.

All About Awareness — and Avodah When we discuss health education, Rabbi Irons grows especially passionate. “People really have no idea; they’re clueless as to what’s happening in their bodies. When we run our PowerPoints during our classes, you should hear the gasps — especially when we get to the slides about sugar!”

Rabbi Irons points to the dearth of knowledge as being one of the major barriers that prevents frum Jews from losing those extra pounds. As Rabbi Irons puts it, “We’re eating ourselves to our graves. Most don’t understand, or don’t want to understand, the implications of being overweight. And that’s not a Yiddishe mindset — at all.” Venishmartem is saving lives, he asserts. He retells the old, yet somber, joke: there are few overweight people in nursing homes.

Whenever a Venishmartem participant keeps a food diary, the participant is invariably shocked at the sheer volume of food he’d been consuming daily. “I had a man who weighed 400 lbs and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t losing. After some detective work, we got it: someone had informed him that nuts were an acceptable alternative to the cookies he was gorging. So he ate

nuts. Bags. Of. Them. And he still could not comprehend why he wasn’t shedding weight!”

It’s all about awareness. “People have no idea that rotisserie chicken may be slathered in oil, that sugar has tens of different names. I asked a restaurateur if his chicken breasts were plain.

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘We just inject them with mayo.’ People are ignorant; they eat what is put in front of them.”

Rabbi Irons implores those who are overweight to do something about it. He’s seen men in their early 20s unable to tie their own shoelaces. He laments that as a society we’ve only gotten fatter and sicker, and he wishes everyone would see it the way he does: being fitter and trimmer will change your avodah, which is the ultimate goal.

He wonders about those who say “it wouldn’t pas” to come to Venishmartem meetings — does it pas to go to the hospital? His message: It’s not a contradiction to be frum and take care of your health. If the Rambam had no problem with it, then you shouldn’t either. Do your hishtadlus to become a healthier, more productive Jew. “My hope is that this goes from top down,” Rabbi Irons says.

“That’s why we’ve created this venue for anashim chashuvim to upgrade their health, and with that, their avodas Hashem. I think we’ve given people ‘permission,’ so to speak, to take care of and learn about their health. As of now, people only seek to improve their health when a doctor scares them. And that, in turn, frightens me.”

How It Works Rabbi Irons explains that “Venishmartem does not provide a specific diet plan. Rather, it provides awareness and guidance on how to achieve optimal health.” He clarifies, “How will you feel when this food enters your body? What happens to it? Am I full yet? Put in what’s good for your body, not what only looks good Adar 5780 | Wellspring 65

Living Well

Health Personality

or smells good but isn’t really good.”

Though Venishmartem does not provide a diet plan, the group does offer a road map for members to follow. Eating real food and tuning into the body’s hunger signals are hallmarks of the program.

Venishmartem’s approach is intended to ease the transition that most participants experience when they embark on a major lifestyle change. It’s also designed to mitigate excuses, which are always consistent and plentiful. Weekly reminders, Maariv following the class, and the buddy system create a chevra.

“We’ve had guys drop an incredible ten suit sizes in just four months! One guy suffered immensely from painful kidney stones — but after beginning Venishmartem, the issue resolved itself naturally. We have men who come just for the weigh-in — the accountability is not something they want to give up on — and drop the class. I’m even amazed at those who come just once and then drop it. Let it percolate. Eventually it will penetrate.”

A Personal Calling

As a high-profile member of the community, Rabbi Irons is recognized as Venishmartem’s founder by members and non-members alike. He grins. “My trademark greeting is, ‘Up or down?’

Members really don’t like meeting me in the grocery!”

With the founding of Venishmartem, Rabbi Irons has also become the “food police.” At every kiddush or community occasion, he’s bound to see Venishmartem members guiltily sneaking a forbidden treat. He’s not one to shy away from giving tochachah, though. “They all know my feelings about it. It mamash gives me grief seeing what people are doing to themselves.”

His message for those facing a significant amount of weight to lose? “Don’t despair. There is a way to do it; all is not lost. If you have a real ratzon, you, too, can achieve health. It doesn’t have to be that way.”

He says he’s encountered numerous people — too many people — who are walking health hazards but have yet to join the program. “The ones who are perpetuating these problems — caterers, restaurateurs, candy store owners — they’re the ones suffering most. They’re the ones who can’t take the stairs or kick a ball around with the kids. I wish they’d acknowledge there’s a way to change.” People have resigned themselves to a life of suffering and misery, he says, unaware that change is possible. There is hope. It has been done.

Still, change is hard even for those at the front lines: Rabbi Irons himself has tried to get the weekly kiddush fare to be altered at his shul and has met with reluctance and resistance.

In his quest for improved health, Rabbi Irons has read hundreds of books, both those catered to the frum community and those that are not. He highly recommends Yechezkel Ishayek’s To Your Health (Feldheim 2016) and Leah Wolofsky’s A Brand New You (Menucha 2018). “Both of these books are in sync with Venishmartem’s — and the Torah’s — attitude toward health. They each approach weight loss and health holistically. Here at Venishmartem, we emphasize how sleep, stress, and emotions can impact

66 Wellspring | March 2020

our health.” And they both acknowledge that the yetzer hara of overeating has consumed us all.

Change Is Possible

What can those who are not yet ready for a complete lifestyle overhaul do? Rabbi Irons breaks the question down into two parts: sur mei’ra and asei tov.

“The first thing that you can do for your own health is get rid of that soda. Completely. If you have to make only one health change, make water your sole beverage. I’ve seen that alone work wonders. And to all who think that Diet Coke can stand in for the real thing, no cigar.”

“Diet” sodas, Rabbi Irons explains, are the real “bad boys” of the soft drink industry. Your body can metabolize the aspartame the same way it would sugar, leaving you back at square one. In addition, it causes cravings for the real thing. “I’d even venture to say that full-sugar soda, poison-laden and all, is preferable to its aspartame-laden cousin. Many have made the transition to water and are actually surviving. Eliminate all added sugars from your diet if you can — you never know where they can hide. I’ve even discovered added sugars lurking in innocuous dishes like sushi!”

When pressed for one asei tov, though, Rabbi Irons has trouble narrowing it down to a single thing: “Park your car a bit farther; take those stairs. Never underestimate what small changes can do.”

Above all, Rabbi Irons stresses a most crucial component: education. “Read those two books. Discover what determines your appetite and which foods increase your cravings.” When I balk at the “homework” he is piling on, he is unapologetic. Lives are at stake.

Just having a basic frame of reference is helpful. “Realize that 3,500 calories is a pound. A standard Shabbos seudah can easily top that — and it’s only one meal out of three! Know the basic tenets of nutrition; it will be a game changer.”

Rabbi Irons maintains that change is possible, even if the whole family is not on board. “Yes, it can be done. That being said, I cannot stress enough the importance of the family unit. That’s why we offer spousal support. I’ve watched whole families do 180s in terms of food,” he testifies.

To Rabbi Irons, the most beautiful thing is how over 120 men in Toronto are participating in learning about their health — and the importance of maintaining balance in their Yiddishkeit. That’s because he believes that the quality of one’s lifestyle impacts the quality of their Torah.

He acknowledges that it is not easy. “Being into kiruv, I’m always surrounded by the ‘good’ stuff — pizza, fries, soda, blintzes, you name it. By now, I’ve retrained my palate so that I no longer find these foods appetizing. Sure, they still look great; I’ll grant you that. But I don’t look at the food, I look at what it does to me.

I am food’s master, not the reverse.”

When asked to name his current favorite food, Rabbi Irons grins. “My current taivah is a frozen banana.”

Rabbi Irons can be contacted through Wellspring.

THE WINNER OF OUR 50TH ISSUE CELEBRATION IS:

Miri Kohn

Please contact Wellspring to receive your free annual subscription.

We thank every reader who took the time to submit their response on how Wellspring has made an impact on their life, and appreciated hearing how this magazine has found a niche in your home and your hearts.

We look forward to featuring some of the responses in our upcoming Pesach issue.

Living Well

Memos from a Kinesiologist By Miriam Schweid

W

Convince Him to Have Pizza?

hen Avrumi’s mother, Baila, came to see me with him, the scenario she presented surprised me.

“My kid won’t even have a slice of pizza,” she said. “All of his siblings are so excited for this treat, but he won’t touch his slice.”

And so Avrumi and his mother fell into a pattern. Every time he wouldn’t want to eat something, Baila would try convincing him how good it tastes or how healthy it is, but the 6-year-old wouldn’t hear of it, arguing back that he simply didn’t want it.

“This has been going on for about a year,” she confided. “I have no idea which direction to take.”

During the time we were discussing Avrumi’s issues, at the beginning of our meeting, Avrumi was not present. As soon as the two entered my home, Avrumi immediately asked to use the bathroom, and he remained there for about 10 minutes. It was clear to me that he was trying to avoid what he saw as certain confrontation.

When Avrumi reappeared, I turned to him. We had a pleasant conversation about cheder, his friends, and his rebbeim. He was happy to go, it appeared, and to learn and play. When I asked him about the school lunch, he launched into elaborate detail of what was being served.

“What do you like to eat?” I asked him. His daily, weekly — make that annual — menu at school came down to this: peanut butter sandwiches and yogurt. Nothing else.

I wrote that down on a menu chart.

Then I turned to Baila to have her fill in the meals Avrumi was eating at home. Again, the results were pretty bland and predictable: bread for breakfast, bread for lunch, bread for dinner, and some yogurt. His snacks consisted of lots of chips and pretzels.

When I asked Avrumi why he wouldn’t touch proteins like fish and chicken at dinner or on Shabbos, he told me his throat hurt

when he ate them and that yogurt made him feel good inside.

I asked Avrumi some more questions, and, based on our conversation, I understood that he was probably suffering from acid reflux. Baila confirmed that he had suffered from it as an infant until the age of two. Not surprisingly, the child was subconsciously avoiding discomfort by simply not eating any food that could possibly cause any side effects.

Sadly, the incessant arguing with his mother had had a negative effect on Avrumi’s behavior.

I watched him play with the random toys that were lying around the room. He was rough and impatient, and he threw them down when he was done. He was obviously angry. As he later expressed, he felt that nobody understood him and his dietary needs. The poor child was not trying to be problematic at all. It appeared that due to his food preferences as a result of his acid reflux and the fears he had developed, an unnecessary tension presented.

In order to help Avrumi and Baila, I drew up a chart, giving him choices of foods, which he consented to, that would not aggravate his reflux. His snack every day would be raw almonds so that he would get the protein he was missing from fish and chicken (which don't ordinarily cause reflux). For the next week, I told Baila to keep track of what he would be eating, noting any additions to his diet that came from his own accord.

I also recommended that Avrumi take various homeopathic remedies and Bach flower remedies to help calm him down.

Several days ago, Baila e-mailed me Avrumi’s first completed chart. Not surprisingly, but very fortunately, I noted that several new foods had been added. Knowing that her child’s diet was balanced and that forcing food was no longer the way to go, Baila reported feeling so much calmer. I believe this will be a major asset in Avrumi’s continued improvement in his relationship with food.

The surprising reason behind Avrumi’s picky eating

Miriam Schweid is a Brooklyn-based kinesiologist. She can be reached through Wellspring.

68 Wellspring | March 2020

Living Well

Home Lab By Miriam Schweid

DIY

recipes for natural living

Rapid Immune Boost If you feel that your immune system could use a boost, this one’s for you. This blend is so effective that I’ve watched it generate immediate results — which makes it an excellent go-to remedy for emergency situations. As a case in point, when the mother of a kallah called me on the morning before her wedding that her daughter was running high fever, I suggested this remedy. (The girl did not even have the energy to walk to the doctor’s office one block away.) The results were a radiant, energetic kallah.

1 fresh ginger, peeled and grated 3 Tbsp honey juice of 1 fresh lemon

Mix well.

Dissolve 2 Tbsp of the mixture in one cup of hot water. Sip throughout the day.

The blend is not especially tasty, to put it mildly, which is why I often only recommend it in desperate situations.

To speed up immune recovery, also take vitamin D with food.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 69

Living Well

Diary Serial By Rina Levy

s s e l e p a Sh e c n Da Recap: Yaffi’s pediatrician orders blood tests and provides a referral to a neurologist for further investigation of her mysterious symptoms.

Chapter 4

At the Neurologist As per Dr. Mitchell’s recommendation, we got an appointment with Dr. Castro, a pediatric neurologist. It was great siyatta dishmaya too, because while I’d originally thought I didn’t know a skillful neurologist, I actually did.

Years ago, when Yaffi was a toddler, we’d brought her to meet with him.

She’d been developing somewhat slower than normal and had originally been diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder (PDD). Dr. Castro disagreed with this diagnosis, and sent us to try to a few kinds of therapies which eventually led us back to him for a diagnosis of ADHD when she was in third grade.

Dr. Castro remembered Yaffi well, so we were not starting at square one. At that time, he said that we, as her parents, were the basic medicine she needed to grow up healthily. How right he was, knowing we would go to the ends of the earth to find a diagnosis for her now.

Three days before Chanukah, we

70 Wellspring | March 2020

headed to our appointment with Dr. Castro. This time, I’d brought along my husband Meir, since he’s less emotional than I am, and therefore more able to focus on the issues at hand. Also, he’s a physiotherapist by profession, and would be able to specifically pinpoint the physical irregularities that Yaffi had been experiencing. He could objectively explain Yaffi’s atypical physical symptoms as compared to her siblings and other kids her age.

The doctor greeted us affably and I remarked to my husband how incredibly energetic and youthful the doctor appeared (the jeans and sneakers helped), knowing he was about as old as my parents. He then asked us to describe Yaffi’s behavior and symptoms. Meir gave him the full run-down, describing all the abnormalities: the lopsided and uncoordinated movements of Yaffi’s arms and legs; the floppy way she carried her body; the general weakness in her

hands as she couldn’t hold any implements properly at school and while eating. He spoke of her stumbling and falling, slurred speech, difficulty concentrating and writing, and emotional instability. Furthermore, her irregular gait and facial grimacing had been increasing by the day.

After hearing this entire description, Dr. Castro didn’t flinch at all, and he even winked at Yaffi as we described her symptoms. We sat down with Dr. Castro at his desk. He opened a large picture book with stories, in which the characters were doing various different activities. He asked Yaffi to describe the activities, then told her to read the stories and repeat details about them without looking at the words or pictures.

While she was talking, he studied Yaffi’s face and hands. Next, he requested that she draw a person with features, then a tree and a house.

After this process, Dr. Castro announced that he thought she had a speech and language processing issue and he suggested that she should go to speech therapy and occupational therapy. My husband stood up and flatly rejected the idea. He was forceful but polite when he explained that he was sure this was not a therapy issue, but a neurological problem. “Yaffi’s decline is so steep and so bizarre that this has to be a disease. We need to find out what it is so we can stop it. It’s not speech therapy that she needs!”

That’s when I remembered the blood tests. “Oh! Dr. Mitchell asked us to do some blood tests and to ask you what you thought of her symptoms based on these tests.” Dr. Castro stood up and declared he wanted to do more testing before he looks at the bloodwork. It was a good thing our appointment was booked for two full hours!

Dr. Castro started the same examination rigmarole, telling Yaffi to walk a straight line along the tiled floor.

Then he tested her vision with a pen, telling her to look right and left, up and down. Next, he had her sit on the examining table, and listened to her heart, then tested her reflexes.

He took things a step further and started testing her balance and equilibrium. He asked her to hold her two arms up straight as if he were placing a tray over them and he pushed on her hands. A lightbulb went off in Meir’s head and he said, “Dr. Castro, you have to see Yaffi out of this office and watch her move.”

To be continued...

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 71

Heart to Heart

Not Another Diet

Either I'm silent or I'm enraged

All you need is vitamin T

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

UNMASKED

& SUPPORTED For members of OA, AA, NA, or any similar organization, anonymity is a key component in the process of healing from addiction. Which methods do these programs utilize to help their participants deal with the struggles that are woven into their lives?

Here, members share what goes on behind the scenes.

Ashira Becker

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

“Supermarkets were my worst nightmare. I’d feel like crying when I’d find myself surrounded by foods that could trigger me to binge.”

Sarah is sitting on the fringe of a sharing circle, arms nervously wrapped around her body, thirty people watching quietly as she bares her soul. She sheds some tears as she struggles to condense the pain, the fear, the addiction into mere words.

This is an Overeaters Anonymous (OA) meeting, a large white room filled with people of all stripes, united by common struggles. At OA meetings, the masks come off, and true selves are exposed, soothed, and healed.

Overeaters Anonymous sessions are designed to help those struggling with compulsive food addictions, from binge eating to bulimia. What unites participants is the common struggles they face and the freedom they hope to find.

For those on the outside periphery of addiction, one may 76 Wellspring | March 2020

think they know what it’s like to overeat. One may have joked about being addicted to chocolate, how they cannot live without ice cream, or how the cake is calling their name. However, for those with a compulsive overeating disorder, the urge to eat is a lot more serious; it is an addiction, a force bigger than themselves.

Across the world, many “Anonymous” meetings, geared to addictions of various forms, convene. At these gatherings, which are free of charge, members open up and share their deepest feelings, and heal together.

How It Began These programs were first initiated in 1935, when Bill Wil-

son, a recovering alcoholic, started a group for other alcoholics, coaching them along his unique path to sobriety: acknowledging individual weakness, turning to God, and depending on Him. He encapsulated the process in twelve steps that would empower alcoholics on their journey. And so, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism, or The Big Book in AA vernacular, was authored, relating the story of the success of this groundbreaking approach. Many people struggling with addiction found strength in the bestseller, and slowly, a movement began, garnering millions of participants worldwide, spanning continents and decades.

In the 1960s, Rozanne S. (members go by their first name only) founded the Overeaters Anonymous movement, modeling it after the successful AA prototype, adapting the twelve steps to encompass compulsive eating patterns. This, too, took off, with a current membership at over 60,000 members.

Many other groups followed, geared to a wide range of addictions, Cocaine Anonymous (CA), Clutterers Anonymous (CLA), Codependents Anonymous (CoDA), Debtors Anonymous (DA), Nicotine Anonymous (NicA), as well as many others. All groups are similar in they address compulsive, addictive tendencies that members have unsuccessfully tried overcoming alone. All groups employ a twelve step program similar to the Big Book’s doctrine.

Anonymity Groups like AA and OA greatly depend on the A part of the acronym: anonymous. In addition to the twelve steps, there are twelve traditions, once of which is anonymity. This is taken very seriously, and is reiterated at each meeting. For members to be open in their struggles, they need to be assured of their confidentiality.

Leah, a longtime OA member, explains how she trusts other members with her story and struggles, certain that they will protect her and it will not go further.

Bluma, a member of TLC (see sidebar) says that anonymity is what makes the meetings more than just a plan. “It’s a place where you’re not judged, where you can be confident that your story remains within the walls of the meeting.”

All members I spoke to in preparation for this article, irrel-

evant of their addiction, mentioned the quality of not being judged: members speak, others listen. There is no advice, no judgment or putting down, only understanding and care.

Tales from the Trenches “I had a happy marriage until alcoholism came in,” says Miriam. Her husband had gone through orthopedic surgery and was taking painkillers regularly. When the doctors advised that the pills be moderated, he turned to alcohol to deal with his pain.

“Our family relationship changed. He seemed less interested in the children, and would become irritable. Alcohol began to precede and accompany everything we did and everywhere we went.”

Miriam’s husband sought counseling, and though he did manage to get his drinking under control, it lasted but for short periods of time. Each time he remained sober for a few days, her hopes would soar, only to crash when he ultimately drank again.

Talya shares how she has struggled with food addictions her entire life. “When I was young, I would take my pocket money and buy food. Shopping trips with family would be about whether we were going to stop into a café. My life revolved around food.” She remembers how she would save up food for vacation, a backpack in her room being slowly filled with chocolates and sweets as the weeks went by, so that when they’d go, she’d have enough. “Although I was thin, I was obsessed.”

Talya’s dieting started in her late teenage years, after a hardship made whatever control she had over food slip away. When the weight gain was obvious and embarrassing, she crash-dieted, subsisting on crackers and snacks. “I looked great, lost weight, but I couldn’t get out of bed since I was too weak. But I felt good because I got so many compliments on my figure.”

Talya shares how nothing lasted very long; she was unable to control herself. And so began the cycle of gaining and losing.

“For me, there was never a time I ate normally. I was either overeating and binging or undereating and starving myself, desperate to lose weight. I was told by everyone to eat healthily and normally, but I simply couldn’t do it.”

“I can’t remember a time I was a normal eater,” Rachel, another self-professed overeater, relates. “Addiction ran in the

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 77

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

Food Addiction Checklist Do I eat when I am not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment?

Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I am stuffed or even feel sick?

Do I have feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat?

Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone?

Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life?

When my emotions are intense — whether positive or negative — do I find myself reaching for food?

Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy?

Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight?

Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight?

Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight?

Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages?

Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen, or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage?

Are there certain foods I cannot stop eating after having the first bite?

Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/ or weight gain?

Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories?

If you answered yes to three or more questions, you may have an unhealthy relationship with food.

(Source: oa.org)

family, various members struggled with different things. For me, it was food.”

She recalls how, even when she would be down to a normal BMI, she would be hiding behind people. She struggled with self-image and extreme self-hate. “The real me was fat, the real me was evil and wicked. When I felt anything, I ate. I would stuff emotions down. And I was dieting throughout my childhood.”

Leah recounts a difficult childhood, which led her to develop a problematic relationship with food. “I ate what I wanted, 78 Wellspring | March 2020

when I wanted, however much I wanted. Food was something I turned to for comfort.” It became a tool to manage emotions, whether anger, annoyance or happiness. Slowly, she lost control, and started binging. “I was completely obsessed with food.”

As the emotions came in, so did the weight gain, and the inches piled up. “I would diet, lose some weight and feel good about myself and energetic. But once I was good, the diets allowed certain foods in moderation. And I never knew what moderation meant, and I’d lose myself.” She did this for 25 years, watching the scale go up and down: loathing herself and

feeling unworthy of life or love; then dieting and feeling great, and then falling again.

“I’d have spells of restriction, when I’d subsist on diet coke and apples, but then I would get to the end of the day and party — lots of sugar, chocolate.” Mentally, her body was unable to function on the fuel it was being provided, and she descended into depression. “I had a good job and good marriage and things were good, but it was all empty because I was so unhappy. I felt worthless and ashamed. I couldn’t stop eating, and it was so embarrassing.” She tried to hide it, tried being the life of the party, always laughing and having a good time, but inside, she was crying, anxious, broken. “Even when I was thin, I was sad.”

Once, the local supermarket had a sale on chocolate. “I thought I can buy some and have it in the house for guests,” says Talya. “I really believed myself that it would be for other people. But once I came home, I opened the jar and ate some.

Once I ate a few, I realized that my physical compulsions had been triggered. I knew if I tried to stop, they would prey on my mind and I would not be able to rest until I finished eating.”

She finished the entire thing, feeling sick before she was halfway through. “It wasn’t enjoyment, I was forcing myself; it was a compulsion. People think it is about being self-indulgent, but it’s not a need for pleasure. It is about satisfying a craving that cannot be filled and only gets worse by eating. It is a mental illness.”

Leah describes the spiritual aspect. “My whole life, I always felt very alone, like I don’t fit in. I was overwhelmed by life and I couldn’t cope. Other people seemed to glide through it effortlessly, but not me. Eating helped me get through it.”

The Game Changer Sarah admits to having been at a low point in her life when she found OA. “It took a while for me to go to the first meeting since I kept saying I can just do it myself. I just need to find the right diet, the right time. But really, I was kidding myself.”

Finally, she ran out of excuses and went. “Before the first meeting, I was terrified that everyone would be really obese. At that point, I was not so big, and I thought I would be thrown out. But I knew I needed this, because no matter what size I was, I was obsessed with food.”

Sarah was pleasantly surprised at the members: different shapes and sizes, some people who had worked past their addictions, others who were underweight due to severe restrictive tendencies.

“My hands shook the entire time, but I listened and felt like

I found the right place, there was hope, I wasn’t alone. I realized that I was not crazy with the way I thought and felt. This was a welcome revelation to me.”

She went back and made friends. “They would talk about structured meals, how it allows your addictions to fade because the eating becomes unemotional. Eating only three meals a day, with just two snacks, seemed nuts to me. I was on one long meal every day.”

Within a few weeks, Sarah was overwhelmed with the swirling, aching emptiness inside. “I had decided that I don’t need a sponsor, I can do this myself. I was not following the steps, didn’t have a sponsor, and was struggling with emotions.

I stopped going to the meetings and decided to try it on my own.”

She had a relapse, which lasted six months. Every day, she would decide on a new diet, and every day, she would fail. She simply could not muster the determination. She was stuck and found herself gaining copious amounts of pounds. Her life spiraled out of control.

“I came back to OA, feeling like a dejected failure. But they accepted me back. I learned it was okay to ask for help. I worked the steps and did the best I was able to. I had dark days and bright days.” Nine months later, Sarah’s life had completely turned around. “It wasn’t that one day that I woke up and felt different; it wasn’t one day that I was given freedom from obsession. It was slow, but I grasped it. And today, I am able to be in a room with trigger foods and not want them. And that is something I never thought would be possible for me.”

Leah had first been brought to an OA meeting by a family member, who was attending AA meetings. “I didn’t have many options left; I was broken. Depression had taken over my life.”

Weight and self-image were only part of the problem. She was also suffering from joint pain, back problems, a ruined digestive system from the constant seesawing, binging and dieting. She was at a low point, and knew she needed to find help.

“I came to OA and went to the first few meetings. I was very frightened; it was so foreign to me. But I got a warm welcome, and even though I was uncomfortable and scared, it was my last chance and I decided to stay and go for it. I did six weeks, and started looking for a sponsor.”

Sponsorship Sponsorship is a very important part of the process, and Anonymous meetings are based largely on that element. A sponsor is someone who has the same challenge and is now in Adar 5780 | Wellspring 79

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

“I did not think I would make it past the first day, the first week.

I’d never stuck to anything.” a better place — having fought and overcome — and can be a guide on the journey of a new member. A sponsor will explain the fundamentals of the recovery program, share their experiences, and is available for support whenever a member needs it.

When a member begins abstaining from the addictive behavior or substance, it is their sponsor that they will commit to.

Sponsoring is also a part of the twelfth step, which stresses that giving over what one has gained through experience is important for the maintenance of sobriety or abstinence.

Leah says she looked at her sponsor as her savior, someone who understood her struggles and helped her through the hardest times of her life.

A Typical Meeting A typical Anonymous meeting of any kind is attended by individuals who share a common problem, whether it is an unhealthy relationship with food, alcohol, nicotine, gambling, or any other factor that brought them together. Groups consist of anywhere from a few member to 30 people. Some members have been attending for years, while others are new to the program. The program is all-welcoming to new members and encourages people who are beginning their journey with overcoming addictions to try to attend meetings without fear of commitment or judgment.

Meetings usually begin with a guest speaker talking about their struggles, or structured reading. Then, members speaking about their experiences, how the past week was for them, or how their dysfunctional habits have affected their lives.

In some meetings, a list is passed around for group members to record their names and phone numbers, so that participants can reach out to one another for support. Providing any personal information is completely optional, though.

Lifechanging For compulsive overeaters, abstinence, different than other addictions, is hard; you cannot simply cut food out of your life. Rather, the program is run by the belief that those with 80 Wellspring | March 2020

food addictions must relearn how to develop a healthy relationship with food.

Sarah feels blessed. “I was a binger. Thanks to the love and support, I have been abstinent now for three years, and it is an absolute miracle. I did not think I would make it past the first day, the first week. I’d never stuck to anything. This is not a diet; rather, it is about working through my addictions to develop a healthy association with food.

“In hard times, I’ve turned to Hashem to help me overcome my struggles, the tension and depression. It is about doing the best thing, for those around me and myself. Sometimes it’s about saying yes to things I am afraid of, sometimes it’s no to the things I want. I’ve had hard days, but they are easier than the easy days I had before OA.”

Sarah is passionate about how OA can change one’s life.

“When I was healing, I went through very difficult times. I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. But the entire time, I was helped through it by the members of my group, their support and love.

I didn’t have much faith in myself, but I found it again.”

For Leah, too, OA helped her out of the rut that was her life.

“OA addresses the wholeness of the illness: physical, mental, spiritual,” she explains. “Physically, there is a food plan. I eat three meals a day, plus a snack. I eat the same things every day.

My food is boring, but I enjoy it today in a way that I never did in the past, because it was always about overindulging or depriving myself — whereas today, I eat abstinent meals, but I have peace because I know I am nourishing myself.

“Mentally, I have the support of OA. I go to three meetings a week, where I can talk about my struggles, and they understand me like nobody else ever did. We can talk about food, lives, feelings, thoughts, the insane stuff in our heads — and it’s in a safe place without outsiders giving us advice. It’s having a place to be understood.

“Spiritually, I have the twelve-step program, which is about clearing away old patterns of thought and self-destructive behavior, sorting it out and letting go so I can be left with peace.

Beyond the sanity that I have today, the connection I have to my own self is the greatest gift.”

Rachel concurs. “For me, food sobriety means no sugar and no binging, three meals with no food in between. In the early days I calorie counted, because I had lost everything about portion size; I was binge-eating, not stopping until I was stuffed, so I need to relearn the proper volumes of food.”

Talya explains that she’s gained enormously from her participation in OA. “I enjoy my Shabbos more if I do not eat that

To Learn Control While millions of people around the world have found the Anonymous groups instrumental in helping them overcome their addictions, many in the frum community take issue with its Christian roots.

Bluma, one woman who was overweight, could not keep to any diet or exercise plan until she began attending OA meetings. She felt uncomfortable with the Big Book, however, seeing that it espoused too Christian an outlook, and she did not want to read nor follow it. This affected the success of the program, and she was unable to connect with a sponsor, as they were willing to work only within the Big Book framework.

Around that time, several of Bluma’s friends attended a lecture where the Rav spoke out against the Big Book and the twelve-step method, which contains certain beliefs that are contradictory to Yiddishkeit. The women asked for a new program so that they, too, could have the ability to overcome their unhealthy habits. And so, Rebbetzin Gittel Moskovits from Eretz Yisrael created a new program, named TLC: To Learn Control.

TLC consists of thirteen steps, modeled after the original twelve step method but changed to fit within the framework of halachah and hashkafah. These steps are divided into three phases, with workbooks to record one’s journey through recovery.

“TLC begins with a ten-week introductory course,” says Bluma, “which mainly focuses on the hashkafah: what Hashem wants from us, how we are strong and capable and able to overcome nisyonos. It also includes lectures on practical halachah, such as shmiras halashon, onaas devarim, and honesty, which builds the foundation for one to be able to thrive in the program.”

Through consistent phone sessions, women all over the world can participate in this unique program. They also enjoy retreats, where they can meet, share, and rejuvenate.

cake than if I do. I used to feel bad for myself for having to skip things like cake. But now I know that it is killing me, and I am lucky to overcome.”

Miriam and her husband began marriage counseling for his alcohol addiction, and their counselor recommended Alcoholics Anonymous for her husband and Al-Anon for her.

The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experiences, strengths and hopes in order to solve their common problems. They believe that alcoholism is a family illness, and that changed attitude can aid recovery.

“My husband completed an outpatient program for alcoholism and began attending AA meetings. I attended AlAnon to be a supportive wife.”

She hadn’t thought she needed support; she simply wanted to help her husband heal. But in Al-Anon, she learned that alcoholism is not in her control; she cannot change her husband, she can only learn to give up control and learn to accept.

“I learned that I am powerless over his disease and over his choices. However, I can make my own choices.”

While Miriam learned how to focus on taking care of herself and her children, her husband slowly began to engage in AA. His initial attempts at sobriety had only lasted for days to mere weeks, but it was an uphill battle. But now, her husband has been abstaining for four years, and she credits AA. It kept him going through it all. And for her, Al-Anon has been what kept her going throughout.

Not For Me While most of the Anonymous group members I’ve spoken with have found the meetings to be their lifeline in helping them overcome addictions that severely impaired their quality of life, others, who are former members of the group, feel otherwise.

“What I found most troubling about the concept,” shares Devorah, “and this could totally be my personal approach, was that it only helped me further distance myself from my own intuition. Instead of learning that despite the compulsive overeating I’d been engaging in, I knew deep inside what was good for me and what wasn’t, the concept that I can’t trust myself

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 81

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

“After several years of being an OA member, sticking to the plan, and shedding lots of weight, I realized that as good as it felt to be ‘in control,’ I really felt that I was being imprisoned.”

82 Wellspring | March 2020

was only fortified.

“After several years of being an OA member, sticking to the plan, and shedding lots of weight, I realized that as good as it felt to be ‘in control,’ I really felt that I was being imprisoned.

The good feelings I was experiencing were certainly there — that I was looking good and in control over my food intake — but deep inside, I felt disconnected. I felt that I could not trust myself with anything, that my natural desire to eat was animalistic and inappropriate.” After leaving OA, Devorah recounts, she felt like an animal that had been let loose from its cage. “It was very frightening for me to be ‘all on my own,’ and I did end up gaining a lot of the weight I had lost. But after several months of working with an intuitive eating counselor and learning how to trust my own voice, to be compassionate to myself about my desire to eat and assuage difficult emotions, I not only started leading a more healthy lifestyle from my own accord, but I started to appreciate myself irrelevant of my appearance.”

Bluma, another former OA members, concurs. “From my perspective, the compassionate element toward oneself is largely lacking at the meetings. Of course, the fact that everyone can relate to the struggles is very healing. However, I also felt that the addictive behavior was shunned, as opposed to being viewed with kindness. And having the ability to choose be completely taken from me only led me to want junk food more. I wanted to be able to eat that piece of chocolate without having the voice in my head say, ‘if you have one, you’ll want to have all of it.’ The meetings, I found, only strengthened that voice. Having to weigh my food and eat only three meals not only reiterated that I am living with a disease, that I am forever doomed to be a slave to the ‘all or nothing’ mindset, but also ironically made my life revolve more around it. All I was able to think about was when I would have my next meal.

“I’m a work in progress, and I will be as long as I’m here, but to me, nothing is more important than being able to trust in myself and in my ability to make the right choices.”

It is not unusual for former members of OA to reach out to dietitians, nutritionists, or intuitive eating counselors to help create new healthy patterns for themselves. Wellspring contributor and noted registered dietitian Laura Shammah is one such address.

“I’ve worked with women who’ve left OA, and also with those who are actually on the program while consulting with me. But

The Serenity Prayer (An excerpt)

Members of the Anonymous groups begin their sessions with this prayer:

G-d, grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And the wisdom to know the difference.

I certainly believe that it is possible for individuals who were formerly overeating compulsively to learn to listen to their own voice.”

According the proponents of the OA, and all other A-based groups, however, the ability to “listen to their own voice” has become largely compromised by years of addiction. It is thus that they believe such individuals are in need of a different means of healing.

Devorah disagrees. “Turning compulsive overeating into a disorder, calling it a disease, only makes it harder to heal.

Someone who overeats can get out of the cycle without having to stick to a severely regimented diet all their life. But, if someone finds that the program does them well, I’m happy for them. At the end of the day, all we want is to lead a productive, happy life.”

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 83

Wellbeing

Emotional Eating By Shira Savit

Do You Trust Yourself with that Chocolate Bar? The importance of vitamin T in maintaining a healthy lifestyle “I’ve tried dieting for years... It’s too hard... I feel like a failure...

What’s wrong with me?” Sounds familiar? Unfortunately, these feelings are all too common. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The problem is not with the dieter, but with the dieting mentality.

There are hundreds of reasons why diets don’t work: physiological, emotional, biological, scientific, and more. In my professional practice, I have identified an additional contributing factor: Vitamin T deficiency. Vitamin T is not found in any supplement you can purchase — it comes from within and is actually free! T is for trust.

Vitamin T is trust in oneself.

Typically, diets dictate what and how much to eat, how much to exercise, which foods are allowed, which are forbidden, and even 84 Wellspring | March 2020

how much weight should be lost in a given period of time. Following such strict guidelines can impair an individual’s ability to intuit what she needs and which choices are right for her. After months or years of being told “how to do our food,” our innate feedback mechanism becomes dulled. We lose the ability to trust our body’s natural wisdom about food.

Nechama came to see me during her fifth pregnancy. She had gained an excessive amount of weight in past pregnancies and wanted to “make sure” she wouldn’t overdo it this time. Nechama asked me to put her on a new diet, one she’d never tried before. I told her I have the most effective diet for her — it’s called the no-diet-diet.

I explained that I would give her nutritional guidelines and sugges-

She realized that sometimes she was hungry for larger portions, and other times she felt full with smaller quantities.

gan to experiment with quantities, using the “guesstimate” tool.

Instead of measuring, she eyeballed the portion, and she tolerated the discomfort that came with not knowing precise amounts.

(Nechama was well experienced in weighing and measuring her portions). She realized that sometimes she was hungry for larger portions, and other times she felt full with smaller quantities.

We were able to look at what was working and what was not working in Nechama’s eating habits. It turned out that she was always hungry about an hour after her breakfast of fat-free yogurt.

I explained the nutritional importance of adding healthy fats such as nuts or seeds to her protein source. While Nechama liked almonds, she was scared that she would eat too many. I encouraged her to experiment with varying amounts — from a few sprinkles of slivered almonds to a handful or two — and note how she felt before and after her choice.

tions, but she would be calling the shots.

Initially, Nechama had a very hard time with this approach because she didn’t trust herself; she reiterated that that’s why she came to see me in the first place. I helped her understand that just as a newborn will stop nursing when its stomach is full, so too, she would learn to listen to her body and trust her own judgment.

I taught her how to assess her hunger and fullness levels, and assured her that this would become her best guide. Nechama be-

Similarly, as we learned about the hunger/fullness scale, Nechama also began to sense when she wanted to eat out of hunger, in contrast to when she simply felt like snacking or was turning to food for emotional comfort. We came up with tools to address these situations in ways that were individually tailored for her. Vitamin T began to be her favorite supplement.

Although it took time, Nechama learned to trust her own judgment about when, what, and how much to eat. She ended up having more pleasure from food, more variety, and most importantly, more trust. She was surprised to discover how good it felt to rely on herself, rather than on me or any externally driven regimen. Towards the end of our work together, Nechama said to me, “At this point, it’s impossible to go on a diet ever again. What a relief.”

Shira Savit, MA, CHC, MHC is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in helping her clients with weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Her unique approach incorporates both nutritional and emotional factors to help her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and also works with women in any location via phone or Skype. She can be reached at 516-978-7800 or Shirasavit@gmail.com.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 85

Wellbeing

In Session with Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Heart to Heart

I Feel Powerless in My Own Home

The summarized interactions in this column are either based on reader-submitted questions or are a composite of several sessions that helped guide the individual toward the first step of his or her emotional health journey.

Since emotional work is always a process, the goal of this column is to provide direction toward the first step, as well as important points of exploration that could b’ezras Hashem lead to the menuchas hanefesh the questioner, and every Yid, seeks.

The Editors

I feel that I have no control at home. My command holds no power, and nothing that I want gets enforced.

When you issue an order, no one follows through?

It’s not that it doesn’t get fulfilled on their end. It’s more that I can’t even bring myself to tell my kids what I want from them.

Give me an example.

If I come home and see that the house is a mess, I can’t bring myself to tell the kids to clean up. If I want them to go to bed, I can’t tell them that either. I even have a hard time telling them to come to the Shabbos table for Kiddush. These are basic demands that a father makes of a child, even in regard to chinuch. And I find that because I can’t say what I want, I feel so frustrated.

The whole time that I’m home, I feel that what I really want is being quieted. This ends up making me loathe coming home. I don’t enjoy being there. The whole time that I am there I feel uneasy, but I can’t bring myself to tell them what I want them to do.

So you end up not telling your kids anything and nothing gets done?

86 Wellspring | March 2020

In general, I don’t. But, sometimes, when I feel that I’m bursting, and it bothers me so much, I do end up telling them. But when I finally say it, it’s in anger. I’m already past my boiling point. I can only get them to listen by shouting or coercing. That’s not good. I don’t know what’s better — staying silent and feeling constricted or to just making sure that my command goes through.

So, on the one hand, you find it hard to express what you want. And on the other, you do end up expressing it, but not in the way you would have wanted, which results in not having a positive relationship with your children.

Yes. It bothers me that I can’t express what I want in a normal way. Why can’t I just say what I want to my kids?

Do you find that this phenomenon only happens with your children? In other relationships, such as at work, in shul, or in your marriage, do you find it easier to relate what you want?

I’m thinking now that I actually have this problem in general. I always have trouble saying what I want. I would rather stay quiet than express it, like I wouldn’t ask my coworkers for a favor, or even ask them to do something that makes sense to ask for, like to turn off the air-conditioning when I’m cold.

I’m so not open with others that even when someone asks me to do a favor and I can’t do it, I won’t tell them the truth. I will either go out of my way to do it, or I will end up rationalizing in all different ways so as not to have to do it, but I would never just directly say, “I can’t,” or “I don’t want to.”

So, you’re saying that, in general, you don’t express how you truly feel or what you want to anyone?

Right. I could even avoid people who I think may ask me for a favor that I won’t be able to do and to which I won’t be able to say no. I reject a lot of my phone calls out of this fear, or just because I will have to end the conversation and I won’t be able to do so.

You’re afraid of being open with your wants and saying the truth as it is. How does it feel to be in such a position?

It feels like a gehinnom. I feel locked in. I feel alone, like I don’t have a connection with anyone, because I can’t bring myself to say what I want. And when I do say it, it’s not in a pretty way. People end up being upset at me when I give all sorts of excuses instead of just saying no when I can’t do something.

Often, they’ll respond, “So why didn’t you just say that you can’t?”

That would have been a bigger favor for them.

But I just can’t. I clearly see that it’s not to do them a favor, but only because I can’t bring myself to say it.

When it’s with other people, I can manage the consequences. But, at home, it’s becoming too painful.

I’m not being mechanech my children properly, and I see how this is ruining our relationship.

Let me ask you: when you were younger, how were you with expressing your needs?

Like what type of needs?

Let’s say you wanted a certain game or you wanted to go to a particular place. How did you say that?

How did I say that? I never did. I wasn’t allowed to want anything at all. My needs weren’t important at all. I learned very early on that what I wanted didn’t matter very much. Wanting was a selfish, bad thing, something that shouldn’t happen. I learned not to want things.

You learned not to want things? Since then you haven’t wanted anything? Or is it that you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t want it and you accustomed yourself not to express it?

I certainly still want many things, but I’ve learned to quiet them, not to think about them. I subconsciously trained myself not to ask for anything or to say what I really want, feeling that I’m not allowed to do so.

So do you now realize what inhibits you from expressing what you want in the way you would like?

Yes. If I don’t have permission to want, I can’t want, and I certainly can’t express my wishes. When I do finally vocalize them, it’s only when I totally lose control out of frustration, which is why it is accompanied by such anger.

Each of us is born naturally knowing what we do and don’t want.

When you ask a 4-year-old what he would like to do at any given moment, the answer won’t be long in coming, which is why he is rarely bored. The average child knows exactly what he wants to be when he grows up — possibly many things — his favorite color, his favorite foods, and whom he likes as a friend. It’s incredible to watch how young children don’t have to think very long before they answer.

That’s because, naturally, we know what we want.

In the same vein, if you ask a child what he doesn’t want, he’ll tell you that, too.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not so, when you ask those same questions to a 20-year-old, who should logically be much wiser and clearer with his wants, you probably won’t get that kind of response. If you ask him to list his hobbies, where he would like to live, or even something as

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 87

Wellbeing

In Session

simple as naming his favorite color, you may be met with a lot of “I don’t knows” or long pauses.

Even when an answer is forthcoming, you may get a “but I’m not sure” afterward.

Why is this so? When does this profound shift happen? When a child starts to grasp that “what I want is not nogeia. It doesn’t count very much,” this internal switch begins to take place.

When a child hears, “So what if you want?” or an annoyed, “You already want another toy/ game/slice?” and similar sentiments enough times, he actually starts believing the message that “something is not okay with me for simply wanting.” Such a child gradually quiets the natural place in him that wants. By doing so, he automatically diminishes the awareness of what he wants.

As a result, he not only loses touch with what he wants, but he may not even notice that he wants at all. Such an individual lives in a proverbial prison, disconnected from everyone as a result of his inability to express his internal world. (This often contributes to the feeling of perpetual boredom, which occurs when an individual has lost his passion due to his muted wishes.)

As is evident in the individual featured in this article, a difficulty in expressing wishes even manifests in interactions with his own children, where it should naturally be easier to say what one wants. With acquaintances, he feels even less able to express his desires. As a result, he becomes a slave to everyone around him, unless he has a good enough excuse to avoid responsibility.

Such an individual first needs to acknowledge that he has wants. The best way to do so, on a very practical level, is to simply list all of his wants and then share them with someone. Every time he notices that he wants something, it would be helpful for him to express it instead of silencing it. Instead of seeing it as a wrong, as he had done until then, he should encourage himself to do what is not only perfectly human and good for him, but also beneficial to others.

Once he stops resisting the reality that he has wants and desires, he will gradually become increasingly aware of them and what they are.

And he will slowly become more comfortable with the fact that it’s okay for him to want them. With time, he will be able to express them more easily, in a way that allows for pleasant communication.

88 Wellspring | March 2020

Parenting Pointer Although a child’s cognitive world is still developing, emotionally, his needs are just like those of an adult. A child who grows up around adults who are not cognizant of that — that no matter their age, children are real people with real emotional needs — his developing brain grasps that “since my needs and wants don’t count, I’m not allowed to have them.” Such a child not only detaches himself from what he wants, but he is also aware that even when he does want something, he’s not allowed to express it.

This does not imply that every one of a child’s wishes must be carried out or catered to. That is certainly not helpful — and actually detrimental — in raising a healthy child. However, that does not detract from a parent’s responsibility to give the child the message that his wishes carry weight. He deserves for his parents to listen to him express them with respect.

When a parent realizes that a child’s wants cannot be fulfilled, such as when it is against the parent’s value system or the parent knows it’s not good for the child, the parent should give the want its space. That means not responding with an immediate “No, you can’t have that!” or a disdainful, “So what if you want it?”

Responses like that send the child the message that his desires don’t count.

Instead, parents can give their children permission to want even when they don’t carry it out by saying things like, “How important is this to you?” or, “Wow, I understand that you want it very much, and I would really want to give it to you, but it’s not good for you.” The same way we would appreciate someone approaching our own wants, children need to be treated as individual people with their own legitimate desires and wants. This will help them continue to express their desires in a healthy, respectful manner, while also learning to value themselves.

Not surprisingly, when a child feels that his parents are acknowledging his wants, he will have a much easier time accepting that his desires and whims cannot always be fulfilled.

All in the Torah In Alei Shur (p. 159), Rav Shlomo Wolbe, zt”l, writes that “an individual who wants to know himself well must know his childhood: which games he liked to play, his fantasies, what he feared, and what he liked. Through this, he attains the main key to know himself.”

By gaining awareness of these things, Rav Wolbe continues, the adult realizes what an impact his childhood has on his current life and “he will understand himself.”

The Purim Connection Every man has a natural need to be a mashpia, an influencer, primarily in his own home. This is why the Torah gave him the chiyuv of chinuch, the obligation to educate his children. When a man finds that he can’t be in this position, regardless of the reason, he is not in his element, which causes him pain and emotional distress.

Interestingly, the concept of a man being the king of his home is explored in regards to the verse in Megillas Esther: that every man dominate in his household (Esther 1:22). Achashveirosh sent this command to all of his citizens after Vashti embarrassed him publicly, leading to her execution.

In maseches Megillah (12b), Rava asserts that when Achashveirosh sent out this letter, his entire empire mocked him. The concept was so self-understood then, that they saw him as a foolish king. “Who doesn’t understand that a man must be the king in his home? Even a simple tailor dominates his home.”

Incredibly, this is what saved Klal Yisrael from annihilation: when Achashveirosh later sent another letter informing his citizens of our impending genocide, Rachmana litzlan, they did not take it seriously, having previously lost all respect for their king.

rav shlomo wolbe zt"l

some have well guarded trade secrets we just call them family traditions

HERZOG LINEAGE nine generations of patient winemaking

ISSUE 50

MARCH ‘20 ADAR 5780

Get Boarding These mouth-watering food boards are the perfect centerpieces for your Purim table Nature's Best This 50-calorie treat tastes delicious

Nutritious Ketchup For real this time

Lemon-Thyme Chicken Perfect for hectic pre-Pesach days

Index Page

Come Aboard

97

HOW TO PREPARE MOUTHWATERING FOOD BOARDS

Page

Have it Homemade

111

HEALTHY KETCHUP

Page

My Table

120

PRE-PESACH CLEAN OUT

Page

128

Boost EYE HEALTH

THYME FOR DINNER

TASTE + TRAVEL

TIDBITS

NUTRITION FACTS

LEMON THYME CHICKEN

THIS MONTH: INDIA

SUGAR HIGH, SUGAR LOW

THIS MONTH: APRICOTS

P. 113

P. 114

P. 123

P. 126

We know.

It’s hard to believe that.

u

ps

80 only

calories

Great Source of Calcium & Protein

As Low as 280 Calories Per Pint

PR

OV ED BY :

100% Real (& Delicious) Flavors

AP

Mini c

Why not go try it for yourself?

um Italia

n

RTED IMPO FROM ITALY

ca

Pa

atoes

e Wit h

mi

om

Mad

re

T

P

ssata Rus

ti

We take this debate as seriously as we take our tomatoes. From the San Marzano to the Fiorintino and Pantano, each variety of our Italian tomatoes is cultivated, cared for, and artfully jarred in order to ensure you get the finest of Italian perfection.

However we dice it, you,ll crush it.™

Heart.works

Tomayto, Tomahto Perfecto, Perfetto

Dear Cooks, I was very excited when I saw this issue’s “Have It Homemade” recipe for healthy ketchup. I hope to try it really soon, especially since my toddler is currently in the ketchup-with-everything stage. A while back (in issue 34), the ketchup quandary was discussed in “Seasoned.” There, the writer noted that “because most of the junior members will only finish their dinner with ketchup on the side, it’s all worth it. ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’ is the way I see it.” I see it the same way — if ketchup is what enables my child to finish his slice of schnitzel, so be it; I’ll look away.

But for others, it’s not so clear. I remember getting a letter from a reader about this, where she questioned why a health magazine would pay so little attention to the fact that ketchup is bursting with unhealthy ingredients. She noted that when a child is slathering every bite with the condiment, it can be really detrimental to his health.

I’m not the judge, and this is certainly not a trial, but, as with many other areas in life, I can hear the validity of both arguments.

Healthy living is not set in stone and never will be. At the end of the day, we don’t only want to be physically healthy, but emotionally healthy, too. So I say if having ketchup makes you happy, go for it. If not having ketchup makes you happy, enjoy your meal without it — or try the recipe in this issue.

Also in this issue, we bring you the latest research on red meat and processed meats. From the findings, it seems that pastrami isn’t nearly as similar to chicken as we may have wanted it to be. But what if that charcuterie board, as featured here, is oh-so appealing? Everything in moderation is the way to go. Two, or even four, slices of salami never hurt anyone.

No matter what choices you make, may you be happy — and healthy — always!

A freilichen Purim,

Est her Adar 5780 | Wellspring 95

Mevushal

One vineyard.

One Or Haganuz.

Come Aboard A fresh, fun way to plate your Purim menu

Purim is the perfect opportunity to change things up and have some fun, and what better way to do this than to channel some creativity?

In regard to mishloach manos, trends have grown to include themed gift packages, food containers to match your costume, and really out-of-the-box ideas. Personally, I think the most appreciated mishloach manos is something that is both attractive and ideal for immediate use. Food boards fit these criteria perfectly.

Food boards typically consist of a variety of foods that are designed to nicely complement each other. They're perfect for snacking, or as part of a meal, or as the meal in itself.

I love that these boards don’t only offer one specific dish, but rather allow for experimenting with different combinations of elements. They work perfectly for a Purim seudah, where guests often come and go at different times.

For this project, we designed three boards: fish, meat, and cheese, and we provide you with a step-by-step guide of how to create them.

Recipes, styling, and photography

Practically speaking, there really are few "rules" when it comes to designing successful food boards. It's more of a matter of connecting with your inner artist (yes, we all have one) and building a board that is varied in texture, color, and flavor. Pick up the boards at your local craft or home goods store and have fun playing around with both sweet and savory to keep everyone happy. Add a few sprigs of herbs like rosemary, thyme, and parsley to keep it looking fresh.

Whether you use these ideas for your Purim seudah or your mishloach manos, have fun creating these delicious, colorful presentations. Get "boarding!"

by Yossi & Malky Levine

Wishing you all a freilichen Purim!

FISH BOARD Somehow, fish always gets less attention than its meat and chicken counterparts. I’ve been creating lots of herring fish boards lately for the Shabbos day meal, and they’ve been absolutely fantastic. I think they make a welcome change to meat or chicken, and they're impressive, attractive, and, of course, delicious.

For this feature, I chose to use tuna and lox rather than herring to decrease the patchke.

On the board: 4–5 hard-boiled eggs, sliced in half 1 purple onion, marinated (see recipe below) marinated ahi tuna (see recipe below) smoked lox 1 avocado, sliced 2 cucumbers, sliced 1 box colored cherry tomatoes 2 chili peppers 1 bunch scallions, chopped 2 mangos, 1 sliced and 1 diced spicy mayo (see recipe below) cream cheese crackers limes

98 Wellspring | March 2020

To assemble the board as pictured:

1 Arrange the eggs at random, adding color with the marinated onions and spicy mayo.

Marinated Ahi Tuna

2

Ahi tuna, the star of this show, looks impressive, and deserves a central place on the board. After placing the tuna, find an appropriate corner for the lox, which also plays an important role on this board.

Although it sounds and looks sophisticated, ahi tuna is really simple to prepare. It's very important for the tuna to be as fresh as possible.

2 7-oz ahi (yellowfin) tuna steaks Marinade: juice of 1 lemon ¼ cup liquid aminos or soy sauce ¼ cup, plus 1 Tbsp olive oil 1 Tbsp sesame oil 4 garlic cloves, crushed ½ cup white sesame seeds ½ cup black sesame seeds Combine all ingredients except sesame seeds and 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large Ziploc bag. Add the tuna to bag and marinate in the refrigerator for 30 minutes or overnight. Remove steaks from marinade, and coat with mix of black and white sesame seeds.

Heat tablespoon of olive oil in a skillet to high heat and sear tuna for 1–2 minutes on each side. Let cool and cut tuna into thin slices.

100 Wellspring | March 2020

Marinated Purple Onion

3 Next, surround the fish with components that complement it: avocado, mango, lime, and chili peppers near the ahi tuna and the eggs, and the scallions, cucumbers, and cream cheese near the lox.

The marinated purple onions are a game changer. Preparing them the night before allows the ingredients to meld together beautifully. These onions can go on any of the boards, but they pair best with fish — and they add a beautiful pop of color.

1 large purple onion, sliced

4

Add crackers according to your preference, or use spelt crackers and whole-wheat melba toast, as was done here.

½ cup apple cider vinegar ¼ cup honey ¼ cup agave ¼ cup olive oil 1 Tbsp liquid aminos 1 tsp ginger powder 1 tsp salt Combine all ingredients except onion in a large jar. Add onions, shake well, and refrigerate overnight.

Spicy Mayo This simple homemade spicy mayo makes a delicious accompaniment to many dishes. It contains only a few ingredients and keeps in the refrigerator for one week.

1 egg, at room temperature ¾ cup olive oil 1 clove garlic 1 Tbsp sriracha sauce ¼ tsp sesame oil 2 Tbsp agave

5 Fill any empty spaces with cherry tomatoes or scallion slices, or any vegetables you prefer.

½ tsp salt Crack the egg into a blender, and blend on high speed for 1 minute. Slowly add olive oil until mixture becomes thick, with a mayonnaise texture. (Alternatively, you can use any prepared version of healthy mayo.) Add remaining ingredients and blend until combined well.

CHEESE BOARD Although cheese boards don’t work for the actual Purim seudah, this beautiful presentation goes very well for a dairy meal. Pick a selection of hard, soft, creamy, and crumbly cheese for a really well balanced board.

If you're unsure which cheeses pair well with which fruits and so on, think about the region the cheese originates from. What grows together goes together; an Italian cheese, for example, is nicely complemented by olives or fruit from that region.

As for choosing wines: the stronger the cheese, the bolder the wine needs to be.

The cheese board should be an experience. If you are hosting, have your guests experiment with different ingredients that they may not have thought of merging.

The combinations are endless.

On the board: Camembert Gruyère cheddar marinated feta (see recipe below) kalamata olives green olives red grapes green grapes fresh figs pomegranate arils sliced red pear blanched almonds pecans macadamia nuts cashews craisins raisins honey homemade berry jam (see recipe below) homemade apricot jam wine crackers micro greens

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 103

To assemble the board as pictured:

1 Place the cheeses first to base the rest of the board off them. Here’s an explanation of the cheeses I used: Camembert: My favorite French cheese, this is soft and creamy, with a ripened, edible crust. Camembert has a buttery, earthy essence and tastes great on a crusty baguette. Its flavor is best when the cheese is removed from the fridge an hour or two before serving.

Gruyere: This hard Swiss cheese is extremely versatile.

With a sweet, nutty flavor, it pairs particularly well with fruit and dry red wine. It can be sliced or cubed for the board.

Feta: This white, salty Greek cheese is an all-time favorite. With a porous texture, feta is ideal for adding extra flavors (like zaatar in this case). If you enjoy a salty-sweet combo, eat it with fruit. And for a true Greek experience, place it beside olives and nuts.

Marinated Feta Cheese 1 pkg feta cheese, cubed juice of 1 lemon ½ cup olive oil 1 tsp zaatar ½ cup fresh parsley, finely chopped Combine all ingredients in a container and shake well.

2

Next, arrange small plates with olives, jam, and honey, using them as guides for fanning the crackers and fruit.

104 Wellspring | March 2020

Tip: Cheese improves in flavor and texture when left out of the fridge for an hour or so. If the temperature in the room is not especially warm, I recommend taking this step to maximize taste and experience.

3 Lay out the crackers and add some variety with assorted fruits.

4 Finally, fill in spaces with an assortment of nuts, raisins, and micro greens.

Homemade Mixed Berry Jam 4 cups mixed berries (frozen or fresh) ž cup xylitol juice of 1 lemon Heat saucepan over medium heat. Add xylitol and lemon juice and cook until xylitol dissolves. Add berries, reduce heat to a simmer, and cook for 20 minutes. Let cool. Transfer to a sterilized screw-top jar and refrigerate for up to a few weeks.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 105

CHARCUTERIE BOARD Charcuterie boards have been popular in France for years, but over the past few years they’ve gained popularity on the kosher market as well - for good reason.

On the board: variety of cured salami pickled tongue (see recipe below) beef jerky (see recipe below) whole-grain mustard mini gherkin pickles coleslaw (see recipe below) caramelized onions roasted garlic (see recipe below) roasted cherry tomatoes on the vine (see recipe below) 2 baguettes, sliced and toasted 1 bunch fresh dill mini hot peppers Maldon sea salt arils of 1 pomegranate hot sauce

106 Wellspring | March 2020

To assemble the board as pictured:

1

Fan the toasted baguettes on the side, since they are quite bulky and need adequate space. Then add a cluster of small dishes filled with creamy coleslaw, which goes with just about everything, caramelized onions, mini hot peppers, pickles, mustard, and Maldon salt, which makes everything look prettier.

2

Use the dishes that are already on the board as a guide for placing the cold cuts of salami, tongue, and beef jerkey.

Three-Ingredient, Three-Step Pickled Tongue Roasted Cherry Tomatoes

Pickled tongue is one of those traditional recipes that have a special place on our Yom Tov menus. Here’s a simple one that yields fabulous results. Make sure you have a sharp knife or a mandolin slicer handy to get those perfect pieces.

The vine-ripened cherry tomatoes give the board its rustic appeal. When the cherry tomatoes are roasted, the flavors intensify and become more pungent and savory. Choose bright red cherry tomatoes that are still on the vine to create these mini flavor bombs.

1 pickled tongue

cherry tomatoes on the vine

1 onion, chopped

1 Tbsp olive oil

5 cloves garlic, crushed

¾ tsp kosher salt

water to cover tongue

¼ tsp black pepper Heat oven to 400°F. Place tomatoes on a lined baking pan. Rub or brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Roast for 10–15 minutes, until tomatoes start to split.

108 Wellspring | March 2020

Add all ingredients (leaving tongue in the shrink wrap) to a large pot. Bring to a boil.

Cook on low heat for 3–4 hours. Remove tongue from pot and peel off outer layer of skin. Wrap tongue in parchment paper and saran wrap and refrigerate for a few hours until cool. Slice thinly.

Roasted Garlic Heads

Homemade Beef Jerky

Not only do roasted garlic heads look pretty, but they also add an amazing depth of flavor to the meats. When the whole head of garlic is roasted, the very pungent aroma mellows and the outer layer develops a crispy caramelized exterior while leaving a soft, smooth, buttery texture on the inside.

Don't be put off by the preparation time involved in making this beef jerky, because it is so worth it. Trust me. Ask your butcher to slice the meat really thin. It takes a bit of time to get the technique right, but once you get the hang of it, it's really quite simple. The marinade is absolutely mouthwatering. I guarantee there will be none left.

2 heads of garlic (or as many as you wish to make) 3–4 tsp olive oil

½ tsp sea salt

Heat oven to 400°F. Use your fingers to peel away the loose, papery outer layers around the head of garlic. Slice about ¼ inch off the top of the garlic head to expose top of cloves. Drizzle 1–2 teaspoons of olive oil over exposed surface of garlic, letting the oil sink down into cloves. Sprinkle with salt. Wrap heads in aluminum foil and roast in oven for 40 minutes.

1½–2 pounds lean beef, thinly sliced (about 1/8" thick) Marinade 1/3 cup liquid aminos ¼ cup olive oil ¼ cup honey

3 Add remaining and/ or additional fruit and vegetables.

Pomegranate arils pair nicely with meat.

Including roasted vegetables, such as the roasted garlic and vine-ripened cherry tomatoes used here, ups the flavor and color, making this a real work of art. Add fresh dill to fill in the gaps.

Creamy Coleslaw This is another recipe of an all-time classic favorite. Coleslaw goes especially well with all kinds of dried meat, such as the ones featured on this board.

1 pkg coleslaw mix

¾ cup mayonnaise squeeze of mustard

Dressing:

½ tsp salt

½ cup xylitol

¼ tsp black pepper

3 tbsp vinegar Combine all dressing ingredients and add coleslaw mix. Mix thoroughly until well combined. Serve fresh or marinate overnight.

3 Tbsp brown sugar 2 cloves garlic, minced (or frozen garlic cubes) 1 Tbsp paprika 1 tsp coarsely ground black pepper 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder 2 tsp red pepper flakes (optional) 1 tsp liquid smoke Combine all marinade ingredients in a Ziploc bag. Add beef and marinate in the refrigerator for 24 hours. Remove beef from marinade and spread over a layer of 2–3 sheets of paper towel. Top with another 3 sheets, and squeeze out as much liquid as possible.

Preheat oven to the lowest setting, usually 170°F. Using metal skewers (or large wooden skewers soaked in water for about 10 minutes), stick top of beef strips through the skewer so that most of the slice is hanging down. Keep adding beef strips, leaving about an inch of space between each slice.

Place one oven rack on the highest position in your oven and position oven tray at the very bottom. Line that tray with silver foil. Place skewers on the top rack, letting beef slices hang down between the grates of the rack.

Prop oven door open a crack with an oven mitt, allowing some moisture to escape. Cook for 4–5 hours, checking on jerky every hour. Taste until desired texture is achieved.

Store jerky in an airtight container. Leave in a cool, dry place for up to a month, or refrigerate for up to 6 months.

J E U N E S S E W I N E S . C O M

By Yossi and Malky Levine

Healthy Ketchup When I was growing up, the table was not set until there was a bottle of ketchup in the center. It went on everything, and I mean everything. In those days, there was less awareness of preservatives and added sugars. Today, however, while ketchup probably still enjoys its popularity as the world’s most beloved condiment, we’re happy to do away with many of the unnecessary ingredients it contains.

After a few attempts, I have finally mastered a homemade ketchup that rivals even the top brands.

I've done a slow-cooked version, a pressure-cooker version, a version using fresh tomatoes, one using canned tomatoes, and finally, this one, which is the closest to store-bought in texture and flavor. Try it and let me know if you agree!

Note: Have glass jars at the ready to store this ketchup. The acid in the tomatoes will react with plastic containers and impair the flavor.

2 Tbsp olive oil 1 onion, chopped 4 cups of tomatoes, chopped 3 Tbsp xylitol 3 Tbsp apple cider vinegar 1 Tbsp tomato paste 1 tsp salt ¼ tsp black pepper pinch chili powder (optional) Heat olive oil in a large saucepan and add onions. Sauté until they become translucent. Do not allow them to brown.

Add chopped tomatoes, xylitol, vinegar, tomato paste, salt, pepper, and chili powder, if desired, and cook for about 40–45 minutes on low heat, until sauce thickens. Cool slightly and then blend in a food processor or blender until smooth. Pour ketchup into sterilized glass bottles or jars.

Note: If you don't have a high-powered blender, you may want to pass the sauce through a sieve for a more professional final product.

um Italia

n

RTED IMPO FROM ITALY

ca

Pa

atoes

e Wit h

mi

om

Mad

re

T

P

Felice Purim!

ssata Rus

ti

Infuse your Purim with Italian flavor using Tuscanini’s premium, authentic products. Create a memorable mishloach manos that will have your family cheering Splendido!

Perfect, Perfecto, Perfetto!

By Yossi and Malky Levine

LEMONTHYME CHICKEN A chicken-on-the-bone dinner is always my go-to when I run out of ideas. It's versatile and filling, and most members of the family like it.

The key to a midweek chicken dinner is to pep it up a little and add plenty of flavor. This dish is a real cheat; the flavors are so delicious, your family will think you spent hours preparing it. The olive oil and lemon juice keep the chicken from drying out and make the skin particularly crispy.

4 bone-in chicken pieces ¼ cup olive oil juice of 2 lemons 4 cloves of garlic, minced 1 Tbsp thyme (fresh or dried) 1 Tbsp honey 1 tsp salt ½ tsp ground black pepper Preheat oven to 450°F. Arrange chicken, skin side down, on a baking pan.

Combine rest of ingredients and pour over chicken. Bake uncovered for 15 minutes, then turn chicken skin side up, and bake for another 30 minutes until skin is crispy and chicken is cooked.

By Charni

e Kohn

Namaskar From India!

Of the countries we’ve visited thus far, India is known to be the most colorful and aromatic of them all.

India is home to some of the world's most diverse (and spicy) cuisine styles. Cooking modes, techniques, and etiquette vary from region to region throughout the country's 28 states and seven territories. Therefore, the country has never had one particular national dish.

Much of Indian cuisine is influenced by religion, specifically Hinduism. As most Hindus practice a lacto-vegetarian diet, they stay away from meat and eggs, but consume dairy.

Some Hindus do eat chicken and lamb but avoid beef.

Indian cuisine is known for its generous use of pungent spices. Warm hints of cardamom, turmeric, cumin, coriander, cinnamon, and cayenne linger in every Indian home.

As in many countries, in India, women are the designated cooks. Preparing food is often a full-day task that involves pounding spices by hand and making breads and spreads from scratch. Even young girls are involved in the kitchen activities, learning the recipes that have been passed down from generation to generation.

If you ever get to dine with local Indians, you will most likely notice that they wash their hands thoroughly before, during, and after the meal. The reason for that is because, traditionally, fingers and breads are the only forms of cutlery used to enjoy authentic Indian fare. Mealtime is a family affair, with dishes being passed around the table, and each person taking some of what they like.

Food in Indian culture is always comforting and filling. Bread is eaten with almost every dish. Chutneys, thick spreads made from either fruits or vegetables, are also very popular.

Indian food had become widely popular in the United States. The first Indian restaurant opened in the States in the '60s. Today, more than 95,000 U.S. restaurants offer Indian cuisine.

Travel Tidbits India produces more than 70 percent of the world’s spices.

In 2007, the ghost pepper, grown in India, was named the world’s hottest pepper.

These peppers are so spicy that the Indian army uses them to manufacture chili grenades, which are similar to tear gas.

India has the lowest per capita meat consumption in the world.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 115

Mango Lassi (Indian Mango Drink) The Indian summers can be brutally hot. People there like to cool off with lassi, cold drinks consisting of a blend of water, yogurt, and spices, often with fruit added in. With spring right around the corner, this drink will become your new go-to recipe to keep cool while still maintaining a healthy diet.

16 oz frozen mango 7 oz plain low-fat yogurt Less than ½ cup water 1 Tbsp honey pinch of ground cardamom (optional) mint leaves for garnish (optional)

Place ingredients in a blender, blending until smooth and creamy. Serve cold.

116 Wellspring | March 2020

Chana Masala

(Indian Chickp ea Curry)

If you are as obsessed with chickpeas like I am, then this recipe is for you. Since many Indians lead a vegetarian lifestyle, this dish is a classic that you will find at any authentic Indian lunch or dinner. Serve over a bed of rice and with warm bread for a full meal, or prepare it as a side dish to your chicken or meat.

4 Tbsp olive oil 1 onion, diced 4 Tbsp tomato paste 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 cube frozen ginger 1 tsp salt 1 tsp ground coriander 1 tsp garam masala* 1/2 tsp turmeric 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper 2 15-oz cans chickpeas

Add oil to a large pan and heat over a medium-high flame. Add onions and remainder of ingredients, excluding chickpeas, and sautĂŠ for 20 minutes. Drain one can chickpeas, leave the second with the liquid, and add both to the pot. Simmer for 10 more minutes. Serve warm. *Garam masala is an Indian spice blend (I used from Pereg) that usually consists of cumin, coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, and black pepper.

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

Pre-Pesach Clean Out This Month:

When your home is all cleaned out for Pesach, what’s the one chometz item you keep around until the very end? What food gets saved until bedikas chometz so that you can maintain it as part of your nutritious diet for as long as possible?

Laura Shammah, RDN, CDN: I always need my Ezekiel bread, which is sprouted-grain bread, until the last minute. I love it.

Sprouted-grain bread is a healthy alternative to whole-grain bread. The sprouting process releases enzymes that break down proteins and carbohydrates. This process helps make sprouted-grain food low on the glycemic index and easier to digest.

Shani Taub, CDC: While none of these foods are chometz, we don’t eat them on Pesach, and they’re the last to go: turkey, tuna, and rice cakes.

120 Wellspring | March 2020

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDC: Most definitely my Greek-yogurt oat-bran muffins, made with chia or flax seeds. I always have them on hand during hectic times to grab as a filling quick snack or meal carb.

Tanya Rosen, Nutritionist:

Dr. Rachael Schindler: I love having my favorite oatmeal chocolate-chip cookie on hand.

I’m so busy right before Pesach, and these cookies are satisfying, delicious, and perfect on the go.

Sugar-Free Oatmeal ChocolateChip/Raisin Cookies 2 cups oats 3 ripe bananas, mashed ½ cup sugar-free chocolate chips, or raisins 1/3 cup applesauce ¼ cup unsweetened almond milk 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp ground cinnamon Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Roll into balls.

Bake for 12 minutes.

Certainly the TAP cookie! I find it to be not only a quick and on-the-go option, but it's also super filling and tasty. I definitely need that until bedikas chometz as my breakfast with a hot coffee. So good!

Here's a cookie recipe that I find delicious, too: Chocolate Chip Banana Cookies Makes 12 cookies 2 ripe bananas 1 egg 1 cup oats

½ cup quinoa flakes 2 Tbsp cocoa powder 1 oz chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F and spray a cookie sheet with spray oil. Completely mash the banana in a small mixing bowl. Then beat the egg and stir it in. Add remaining ingredients and mix until fully combined.

Spoon the cookie dough onto the cookie sheet, forming 12 cookies. Flatten them with the back of a spoon. Bake for 13–15 minutes, until browned. Count two as a snack. Enjoy!

Bashy Halberstam, INHC: This is an interesting question for me since I am on a gluten-free and dairy-free eating plan all year long, which is what my body needs. Chia seeds, however, is one food that I can’t have on Pesach.

And so, on “switchover” day, when we kasher the kitchen and turn over from chometz to Pesach, I make chia pudding. I like it because I can prepare it in advance and it sits neatly in the refrigerator.

Chocolate Chia Pudding This is super quick, easy and yet delicious! What I love about this recipe is that it does not require any equipment and can be mixed right in the container. This makes it ideal for the busy pre-Pesach days or as an easy take-along food.

1/3 cup chia seeds 1 cup milk, coconut milk, or almond milk 1 tsp vanilla extract

sweetener to taste (I use liquid Sucrazit stevia until the 10th line) 2 Tbsp cacao

Mix. Let sit for 5-10 minutes. Shake well and refrigerate for several hours (or overnight), until a pudding consistency is achieved.

Note: Feel free to experiment with the consistency, using anywhere from ¼ to 1/3 cup chia seeds.

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 121

Eat Well

Nutrition Tidbits in the News By Malka Sharman

H r a i g g h u S ugar Low , S

Foods to eat and avoid when you feel the junk-food effects on your stomach What does your kitchen look like the day after Purim? Think: cellophane wrap, ribbons in every color, more mini liquors in odd flavors than you’d ever imagined possible, plenty of dollar-store trays and containers (that are too pretty to throw out, but will be thrown out before Pesach regardless), and more taffy wrappers than can be counted — all strewn about the counters and tables, as well as any available (or unavailable) surface.

But the mess isn’t just confined to our kitchens. If you relied on unhealthy foods to get yourself through the hectic day (especially if your body is accustomed to enjoying kale salads for lunch), you’ll find yourself feeling the unpleasant effects of excess sugar for hours, sometimes even days. Upset stomachs can also be caused by the alcohol that was drunk on Purim, the lack of nutritious foods consumed, and the level of extra sugar and food coloring your children ate. Fortunately, you can ease the discomfort by eating the same foods you rely on during winter’s stomach bugs, and avoiding those that cause further problems. Take a look at the list below. You may want to store it someplace handy for future reference.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 123

Eat Well

Nutrition Tidbits in the News

Liquids When one is suffering from an upset stomach, or even just from an excess of alcohol or sugar, liquids are undoubtedly the most important thing to consume. Plain old water offers many important benefits, so make sure to keep refilling that water bottle. You can try sports drinks or clear broth to give yourself the minerals your stomach desperately needs — like potassium, calcium, and sodium.

If you find yourself taking frequent bathroom trips, it’s especially imperative to drink enough, so you won’t become dehydrated. Both vomiting and diarrhea will also cause your body to lose electrolytes, the minerals that maintain your body’s fluid balance and keep your nervous system functioning properly.

Flaxseed Papaya That sweet, orange-fleshed tropical fruit is so beneficial for an upset stomach that it’s sometimes used as a natural remedy for indigestion.

Papaya contains papain, a powerful enzyme that breaks down proteins in the food you eat, making them easier to digest and absorb. A lot of documented research indicates the benefits of papain, but at least one study published by the National Institute of Health found that regularly consuming papaya reduces constipation and bloating in adults.

Flaxseed, which can be consumed either as ground flaxseed meal or flaxseed oil, has been shown to relieve uncomfortable symptoms of constipation. It’s also known to help regulate bowel movements and ease abdominal pain. The Journal of Renal Nutrition cites a study done with adults who were constipated and took about one ounce of flaxseed oil per day for two weeks. They had more bowel movements and better stool consistency than they did beforehand.

Rice Applesauce This fruit puree is easy to digest and has plenty of nutrients too, including pectin — a kind of fiber that dissolves in water.

It can add bulk to stool and help get rid of diarrhea. The best part is that it’s probably a food that you’re likely to have on hand, and easy access is important at times like these.

124 Wellspring | March 2020

Rice may help calm a stomach, but make sure you use only plain white rice. Wild, brown, or black rice — generally healthier than their white counterpart — are harder to digest, especially on an upset stomach. Starchy, low-fiber foods like white rice also can help firm up stool and stop the diarrhea that can comes along with stomach trouble.

Sometimes, more important than eating the right foods is avoiding foods that will upset the stomach even more, such as foods from these three categories.

Dairy

Spicy Foods

Fried foods

Although you reserved that dairy muffin you got for mishloach manos for your morning coffee, try to stay away from dairy for the day. Dairy is hard for the body to digest, in part because it’s high in fat.

A heavily-seasoned piece of chicken with a good kick is probably the last thing you feel like having with an upset stomach — and there’s good reason for that. The digestive system may have to work harder to digest it, and that can make a rumbly tummy even worse.

Stick to the bland stuff until you feel better.

The excess of oil and fat make fried foods so much harder to digest. They aren’t very healthy at the best of times, and they can make an already upset stomach even worse. Sorry — it’s not a good idea to rely on pizza and fries for a quick lunch or supper!

Skip the Pastrami Sandwiches

Red meat is no longer considered “heart” healthy After a controversial study was published in November 2019, with results suggesting that it was not necessary for people to reduce their consumption of red meat and processed meat, a large, carefully analyzed new study published in JAMA Internal Medicine links red and processed meat consumption with slightly higher risk of heart disease.

The study shows that eating just two servings of red or processed meat per week was linked to a 3–7% higher risk of cardiovascular disease. “It’s a small difference, but it’s worth trying to reduce red meat and processed meat like bologna and deli meats,” says senior study author Norrina Allen. “Red meat consumption also is consistently linked to other health problems, like cancer.”

The study included 29,682 participants, with an average age of 54. Diet data were self-reported by participants, who were asked to list what they ate over the previous year or month. Based

on the answers, the results showed a link between red meat and cardiovascular disease. The conclusion differed markedly from the above-mentioned study in November. “Everyone interpreted that it was okay to eat red meat, but I don’t think that is what the science supports,” Allen says.

Many argue that meat is protein, after all, which is an essential part of our daily diets. That’s true, but there are many better options through which the daily protein intake can be obtained. “Fish, and plant-based sources of protein such as nuts and legumes, including beans and peas, are excellent alternatives to meat and are underconsumed in the US,” says study coauthor Linda Van Horn.

With the overload of junk food already in abundance on Purim, it may be a better idea to switch the meal around a bit — serving a large fish course for the seudah, and dishing out the meat in appetizer-sized portions.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 125

Eat Well

Nutrition Facts in a Shell By Esther Frenkel

Here’s the place to check out nutrition labels for the nutrient-dense produce that come in their natural peels-- just so you know what wholesome goodness you’re feeding your family and yourself !

THIS MONTH:

APRICOTS Principle

Nutrition Value

Percentage of RDA

Energy

50 Kcal

2.5%

Carbohydrates

11 g

8.5%

Protein

1.4 g

2.5%

Total Fat

0.4 g

1%

Cholesterol

0 mg

0%

Dietary Fiber

2g

5%

Vitamins Folates

9 µg

2%

Niacin

0.600 mg

4%

Pantothetic Acid

0.240 mg

5%

Pyridoxine

0.054 mg

5%

Riboflavin

0.040 mg

3%

Thiamin

0.030 mg

2.5%

Vitamin A

1926 IU

64%

Vitamin C

10 mg

16%

Vitamin E

0 mg

0%

Vitamin K

3.3 µg

3%

Sodium

1 mg

0%

Potassium

259 mg

5.5%

Calcium

13 mg

1.3%

Iron

0.39 mg

5%

Magnesium

10 mg

2.5%

Manganese

0.077 mg

3%

Phosphorus

23 mg

3%

Zinc

0.2 mg

2%

Electrolytes

Minerals

126 Wellspring | March 2020

Full of fragrance and sweetness, golden-orange apricots are another delicacy of Asian origin. These much-prized fruits were first brought to Europe by the Greeks, who named them “golden eggs of the sun.” With the winter season winding down, this is a great fruit to introduce the welcome approach of spring and summer.

Botanically, the fruit is closely related to peaches and nectarines, as they are all members of the broader Rosaceae family of fruit-trees in the genus Prunus. Fresh, ripe apricots have a sweet flavor similar to plums, while dried apricots are tarter and have less vitamin content.

Apricots, like most other fresh fruits, are low in calories—at just 50 calories for a medium-sized fruit. Nonetheless, they’re a rich source of dietary fiber, antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals. The fruits are enriched with numerous health-promoting phytochemicals that help prevent heart disease, reduce LDL (“bad cholesterol”) levels, and offer protection against cancers. Apricots provide a significant source of potassium, a mineral and electrolyte that helps you maintain proper fluid balance, aids in muscle function, and helps regulate heartbeat. Potassium also promotes healthy digestion and strong bones. Getting the sufficient amount of potassium each day can help you maintain normal blood pressure and might reduce your risk of having a stroke. The average adult should get 4.7 grams of potassium per day. A one-cup serving of sliced apricots supplies 427 milligrams of potassium toward your daily requirement. Apricots are also an excellent source of vitamin-A and carotenes, which are both known to have antioxidant properties and are essential for vision.

Vitamin-A is also required for maintaining healthy skin.

One apricot contains about 1926 IU or 64 percent of the daily-required level of this important vitamin!

When shopping for that perfect apricot, pick those that feature a uniform golden-orange color and a rich aroma. Avoid those with pale yellow skin, as they were picked too soon. Ripened apricots are delicate and should be handled with care. Store them in an egg tray inside the refrigerator set at high relative humidity and use them as soon as possible.

IN THE KITCHEN Apricot Jam Apricot jam is one of the most versatile foods in your kitchen—it goes well with bread, chicken, and, of course, in hamantaschen. Here’s a recipe for making this staple the sugar-free, gluten-free, soy-free way: Soak 2 Tbsp of chia seeds in water for 10 minutes.

Blend with 4 cups of fresh apricots and 2 Tbsp raw honey for four minutes. The chia gel will give the jam texture.

If you keep it in the refrigerator, it’ll last for two weeks.

IN YOUR PLATE Fresh slices of apricot make a great addition to your salad.

Seared sweetness: Sear sliced apricots in a pan with a small amount of butter and cinnamon until warmed.

Top with chopped walnuts for a little something extra! Frozen treat: Mix blended apricots with orange juice and freeze in ice trays. Your kids will love this too! The tartness in apricots renders them an excellent ingredient in your next chicken dinner! Blend some apricots and pour the puree over chicken bottoms or cutlets. Bake in a preheated oven for 55 minutes. Place apricot halves over the chicken and bake for another ten minutes. Enjoy this excellent nutritious alternative to the processed duck sauce dish!

Dried versus raw? Which is better, or are they equal? Fruit loses most of its water content through the drying process, so it takes 3 to 4 lbs. of fresh fruit to produce 1 lb. of dried fruit, making the dried variety much more sugar-dense.

Dried fruit offers some benefits to fresh fruit: it is convenient, keeps well, and gives a quick energy boost. Research published by the American College of Nutrition suggests that dried fruit provides rich sources of dietary fiber and iron— particularly figs, raisins, dried plums, and apricots. By replacing a few servings of fresh fruit a week with smaller portions of dried fruit, you can increase your intake of dietary fiber, potassium, iron, and antioxidants.

BOOST YOUR EYE HEALTH

BY YOSSI & MALKY LEVINE

Vision is probably the most valuable of our senses. As we age, our eyesight naturally degenerates, but lifestyle changes, including good nutrition, could help delay or prevent certain eye problems. This drink is a delicious way to naturally add the right nutrition to your diet to improve eye health.

And, yes, the old wives' tales are correct. Carrots really can improve your eyesight, as they are a rich source of beta-carotene, which is important for vision.

128 Wellspring | March 2020

2 carrots, juiced 2 oranges, peeled 1 handful fresh spinach Âź cup almond butter 1 Tbsp honey

Blend the ingredients together using a high-powered immersion blender. Drink immediately.

Why these foods for eye health?

Carrots contain high quantities of vitamin A, as well as iron, copper, and potassium, which all contribute to promoting good vision.

Oranges are full of vitamin C, which also plays a key role in eye health, as it can combat the development of cataracts.

Spinach is high in vitamin C and rich in iron, which are both excellent for eye health. Spinach also contains lutein, which is known for contributing to retina health. In addition, the antioxidants in spinach act as "natural sunglasses" that defend the eyes from ultraviolet light.

Almond butter contains vitamin E, which is important for preventing age-related eye degeneration.

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 129

Farewell

Dictionary

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

Definition: noun

a condition where multisensory integration is not adequately processed in order to provide appropriate responses to the demands of the environment.

“

Individuals with SPD may have a hard time being in a busy environment. Noise startles or irritates them.

�

Miriam Manela, OTR

Adar 5780 | Wellspring 131

design revision nr: 01 2014 08 26 DATE:

keyline rev.1 - 14/10/2014

SIZE: SA 750 Super Slim / King Twist

KEY-LINE: 74 CODE: XXXXXXXX BACKGROUND PRINT ONLY (NO TEXT)

DESIGN AREA

DESIGN: XXXXXXX

CUSTOMER APPROVAL

Stamp & Signature:

If you can't beet 'em juice 'em

Superpowers in a glass: Beets contain beta-carotene, a powerful immune boosting antioxidant, as well as Vitamins A and C. Freshly blended and carefully bottled, you get multi-superfood benefits in one delicious juice.