Wellspring Issue #51 by The Wellspring

MEGA PESACH EDITION

Heart-to-Heart || This panic is getting to me

1Pa6ge4s

APRIL 2020 // NISSAN 5780 // ISSUE 51

Is Thin Still In?

A candid look at body image in our community Exclusive contribution by Gila Glassberg, RDN

A Wellspring survey:

Are You Happy With Your Size?

H stoas Me ip s p

Can’t You Just Behave?

e arantin on N t Eating b’s u Shani Ta

How to handle our children’s humanness

10+ r You fu r W for n fam ellb a q ily g ein Chouaran ame g l Ha tine s mo d ed

150 respondents — fascinating findings

In a world gone haywire, words take on new meanings

GlutenFree Diet

10 Questions for Chevra

Why it’s not for everyone

Hatzolah

Why and how these 4 people embraced a healthy lifestyle — and how you can do it, too NY/NJ $5.99 // OUTSIDE NY/NJ $6.50 CALIFORNIA $7.00 // CANADA $7.00 UK £5.50 // EUROPE €6.50 ISRAEL ₪19.9

The organ that’s at the heart of it all

Dictionary

The Article That Changed My Life

Freed From Bondage

INSIDER

Corona

Wellspring readers share:

We’ve never appreciated them more

New Column!

ISSU

APRI 51 L ‘20 NISS AN 5780

Condition of

Tradition When medical issues are part of the family legacy 3 family accounts

Pes Pleas ach ures 5 dele ctab to upg le dishes Yom rade your Tov mea ls Bre This athe Bet ter is the smoothi perf e for ect you

Wha t's Charnie for Breakfa 's got st? you cove red

for Cho

l Ham

oed mor

nings

Tri-Nut So goo Butter want d—you'll it all year

My Table What’s your nutritionist’s favorite quick-andeasy Chol Hamoed dinner? Pesach Pleasures Enhance your Yom Tov with delectable dishes that are good for you

The Ultimate Tranquilizer Corona’s timely Pesach message

nvenien

portabl

d go!

st gra

No Added Sugar Grab & Go Size Kosher for Passover and Year Round

G R E AT

When you top off your Mehadrin Pudding wi th a swirl of Mehadrin Whipped Cream, you’ll get a sweet snack that’s sure to be a winner.

‫חג כשר ושמח‬ Product of USA

L-NEW

Heart.works

For those with higher standards ℠

Tower of Taters For us taters, it’s all in a day's work. From dawn to dusk we ply our trade, chiseling and carving for that crispy bite and creamy interior. Sound, texture and expert seasoning are fundamental for the flawless fry, which is why we’ll do anything to make the cut. So let the chips fall where they may and may the best yam win.

Editor In Chief Shiffy Friedman, LMSW, CNWC

COPY & RESEARCH Deputy Editor Esther Retek Nutritional Advisory Board Dr. Rachael Schindler Laura Shammah, MS, RDN Beth Warren, MS, RDN, CDN Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE Nutrition Contributors Tanya Rosen, MS CAI CPT Shani Taub, CDC Health Advisory Board Dr. Chayala Englard • Chaya Tilla Brachfeld, RN • Miriam Schweid

FOOD CONTENT Food Editor Esther Frenkel Recipes, Food Styling & Photography Yossi & Malky Levine Charnie Kohn ART & PRODUCTION Creative Director Baruch Samuel Designer Rivky Schwartz

Fitness Advisory Board Syma Kranz, PFC

Photography Sruly Rosenberg • Ruchy Baum Yanky Schwartz

Child Development Advisory Board Friedy Singer, OTR/L Roizy Guttman, OTR/L

ADVERTISING

Coordinating Editor Liba Solomon, CNWC Feature Editors Rochel Gordon • Rikki Samson Copy Editors Shainy Borenstein • Malka Winner Myriam Miller Proofreader Faige Badian

Digital Rivkah Shanowitz • Chanah Singal Executive Account Manager Estie Rubin 718-412-3309 Ext.2 ads@wellspringmagazine.com SUBSCRIPTION 718-412-3309 Ext.1 subscribe@wellspringmagazine.com DISTRIBUTION JMD Network LLC 718-972-0308 Esther@jmdnetworkllc.com

WELLSPRING MAGAZINE: 718-412-3309 info@wellspringmagazine.com www.wellspringmagazine.com 670 Myrtle Ave. Suite 389 Brooklyn, NY 11205

The Wellspring Magazine is published monthly by Wellspring Magazine Inc. All rights are reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part or in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space and editorial sensitivities. The Wellspring Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content or kashrus of advertisements in the publication, nor for the content of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. The contents of The Wellspring Magazine, such as text, graphics and other material (content) are intended for educational purposes only. The content is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care provider with any questions you have regarding your medical condition.

OUR HISTORY. YOUR TRADITION.

T H E

T A S T E

Y O U

G R E W

U P

O N

SINCE 1945

‫חג כשר ושמח‬

From the Editor shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com

What’s Left? it’s on the back burner of my mind all month long. My thoughts percolate there as I review the submissions and write my pieces, seeking a common thread or topic of interest to flesh out here. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through so many ideas for this space as this month, as the ramifications of the virus that has consumed all of our lives kept changing course.

Although this column is usually the last one to be written,

As you will notice when you flip through the pages of this content-packed issue, the articles were written during various stages of the progression. The original title of Freidy Singer and Roizy Guttman’s child development article was “I Can’t Believe You Let Him Do That,” intended to help young parents deal with their children’s humanness in a public setting, which was where they would probably be. Instead, at the last minute, it was changed to “Can’t You Just Behave?” — echoing the quarantined parent’s frustration at the child whose humanness is difficult to accept — at home, in their own quarters. (The article is a must-read, by the way.) The drastic changes that took place with every day that we were working on compiling this issue are the changes all of you have also experienced over the past few days and weeks. It’s been a rough ride for all of us, each in our own way. It started out with the closure of schools, which elicited various responses by harried pre-Pesach mothers. We were whisked out of our comfort zone. At the time that our greatest concern was how we would manage in isolation, whether with growing families or in stagnation (we made it!), I wrote "Lesson Plan Pesach 5780 — Diverted" and "The Homeschooling Dictionary," and Shani Taub submitted her answer to the woman who was concerned that she was eating too much with nowhere to go but the fridge.

8 Wellspring | April 2020

We thought, “Okay, so there won’t be school, but we’ll still take the family on Chol Hamoed outings. We’ll find some secluded spot in the park.” Then, that got scratched, too (check out our at-home Chol Hamoed ideas for fun and social bonding). In record time, the crisis snowballed into something way more horrifying, way more devastating, way more apocalyptic than we ever could have fathomed.

At the current time, due to a shortage in Eretz Yisrael, we still don’t know whether we’ll be having eggs this Pesach. The kids will be wearing their worn winter shoes to the Seder. The house won’t be scrubbed to a pristine sparkle. Those for whom Yom Tov means gathering together will be conducting their own Sedarim — and all meals — just with their nuclear family. And the age-old words, mouthed by generations of children at the Seder, “Kadeish … ven der tatteh kumt aheim fun shul,” may not be accurate either. When all outer trappings are stripped away, what remains?

Just last night, I spoke to my father, who was then hospitalized in NYU (he has since been released, baruch Hashem) due to severe coronavirus symptoms. The hearty laugh and booming voice I’d been accustomed to hearing in my delightful daily calls were gone.

In their place was a weak whisper, and long, painful pauses between words, in which my indefatigable father was catching his breath. Even in his state of frailty, he summoned the ko'ach to let me know how grateful he was to feel the way he did. “When it’s hard for me to breathe,” he told me, “I think about the other patients on my floor. I only need a little bit of oxygen to bring up my levels. The nurse told me that some of the patients here have such a low oxygen level that their entire head has to be in the machine for them to survive. I don’t think I will ever take my breath for granted again.”

As I spoke to him, I instinctively monitored my own breathing, in and out, in and out. Al kol neshimah uneshimah tehalel Kah. For every breath I thank Hashem these days.

vital, but also invigorating.

Only when we are blessed to cherish our essence can we experience liberation, to be freed from the shackles of anything that keeps our happiness hostage. As intuitive eating counselor Rena Reiser remarks in the article, “When [a woman] heals from her obsession with being thin, she’ll feel lighter than she has her whole life. She can finally be herself. That’s the ultimate goal — not whether or not she’s eating chocolate.” The more focused we are on the essence of the matter, the more we appreciate that which is eternal.

Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l, was famously known for extolling the virtues of Hashem, particularly through paying attention to the body’s functions. It was his approach toward cultivating a greater sense of emunah that came to mind when we planned our new column, "Insider."

In this fascinating new feature, Roizy Baum will bring you an incredible behind-the-scenes view of each organ — its functions, workings, and related fun facts, as well as advice from an expert in the field on how to maintain this organ’s health. This month, she takes us on a tour of the human heart. Did you know while you’re reading this one page, your heart is beating between 3 and 500 times? The appreciation we feel for life begins with the little details. We don’t only appreciate the house we live in, the blue sky, the green grass. We also appreciate the in-and-out of our breath, the blinking of our eyelids — even the salt in our food.

With every passing day, each of us has undergone a kind of stripping. First, we had to forgo routine, then our Pesach plans, then new clothes, then cleaning help. For many, even a paycheck. Sadly, others have experienced the loss of a loved one. And before we knew it, we’ve become deeply grateful that we have the ability to inhale and exhale on our own. It’s something we don’t take lightly nowadays. With all the outer trappings inaccessible to us, we stay with the essence. While this may feel frightening on the one hand, it is also supremely exhilarating at the same time. We may not be in close proximity to our extended family and friends, but we feel the connection in our heart. We may not have the Pesach we’re accustomed to having, but we have Pesach. We may not be living the life we’re accustomed to living, but we have life, baruch Hashem. And that is something we can’t be more grateful for.

This issue’s Wellbeing feature, “Too Much Weight,” could not have been published at a more appropriate time. At a period when we’re prodded to appreciate the essence, this article explores the repercussions we experience when our sense of self-worth is dictated by something other than that, namely, outer trappings. In a culture where thinness is a value above all else, maintaining our clarity is not only

Wishing you a Pesach of happiness, health, and Geulah,

Shiffy Friedman

Well-Put! “I want every woman to know that in order to give, she has to take care of herself. For the vessel to pour, the vessel must be intact.” Esther Lebovic, DNP, FNP, CSC, Cup of Tea

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 9

Contents

APRIL 2020 NISSAN 5780 ISSUE 51 The next issue of Wellspring will appear iy”H on May 6th.

WELL INFORMED

TORAH WELLSPRING By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

20 SPIRITUAL EATING By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS 22 DENTAL HEALTH By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS 24 HEALTH UPDATES IN THE NEWS By Esther Retek 30 FIGURES By Malka Sharman 32 HEALTH ED Gluten Free By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN 38 DEDICATED TO HEALTH 10 Questions for Chevra Hatzolah By Esther Retek 40 INSIDER The Heart By Roizy Baum

NEW COLUMN

44 WEALTH OF HEALTH Conference with Leah Guttman By Perel Lichtman

ISSUE 51

APRIL ‘20 NISSAN 5780

Pesach Pleasures 5 delectable dishes to upgrade your Yom Tov meals Breathe Better This is the perfect smoothie for you

What's for Breakfast? Charnie's got you covered for Chol Hamoed mornings

Tri-Nut Butter So good—you'll want it all year

125

LIVING WELL 48 IN GOOD SHAPE At- Home Workout By Syma Kranz, PFC 50 ASK THE NUTRITIONIST Quarantine Quandary By Shani Taub, CDC

52 FEATURE My New Life By Roizy Baum 66 AT THE DIETITIAN Subclinical Hypothyroidism By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE 68 CONDITION OF TRADITION Three Family Accounts 76

SPECIAL THEME SECTION

CUP OF TEA With Esther Lebovic, DNP, FNP, CSC By Goldy Swimer

80 CELEBRATION The Influence 86 MEMOS FROM A KINESIOLOGIST Soothe the Stress By Miriam Schweid

WELLBEING 92 FEATURE Too Much Weight By Shiffy Friedman

FASCINATING SURVEY!

112 CHILD DEVELOPEMENT Can't You Just Behave? By Friedy Singer & Roizy Guttman, OTR/L 114 SOCIAL BONDING 10+ Chol Hamoed Games

87 DIY Virus Relief By Miriam Schweid

116 EMOTIONAL EATING By Shira Savit

88 SERIAL DIARY By Rina Levy

118 HEART TO HEART By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Springboard

Letters

On Sensory Overload, Burn First Aid, TLC, and More

Thanks for the Validation Issue #50: Making Sense of Sensory Issues

invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@ wellspringmagazine. com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

12 Wellspring | April 2020

I always appreciate the tone of your magazine. I feel that it’s very encouraging, motivating me to maintain a healthy lifestyle without resorting to fear-mongering, yet still acknowledging that we are human and in need of a balance.

I especially appreciated the cover feature by Roizy Baum on adults with sensory issues. As someone in that category, I’ve stopped telling people about what I’m going through, because my words have been met with too much skepticism. Finally, your article has come to validate that, yes, although it does sound blown out of proportion to someone who has never experienced it, adults with sensory issues have a very real problem that affects us in various different ways.

If you don’t know about this, good for you. But, please, I beg you to understand those who do. With much appreciation for highlighting this very signif icant part of my life, Leah D. F.

Helping My Students Issue #50: Making Sense of Sensory Issues

Thank you for bringing the important topic of sensory issues to the fore. As a rebbi in an upper elementary class, having taught quite a few students with sensory issues, I have tried to familiarize myself with the subject, researching how I can help them succeed in the classroom. I came across some truly valuable websites that offer cheap and easy tools that help significantly. I would advise any parent of a child with

Quick Question

If my question sounds discombobulated, that's because this is how I feel. I know the world is going through a huge crisis now, but having our kids home for an unpredictably long time and trying to stay calm in this world is very hard for me right now. I don’t sleep or eat normally, and I’m feeling very anxious. What can I take to calm my nerves and help me sleep?

First I want to congratulate you, and all mothers who are trying to stay as calm as they can at this time. I would advise you to call your local health food store and ask for any calming supplement that they sell. They work! Take two tablets every four hours and, if you find that you need more, increase to four tablets three times a day. Sleep is very important in helping the body keep calm. Sleeping seven to eight hours a night is always on my recommendation list. Do less of what you’re doing, and get more sleep. If you’re finding it hard to fall asleep, take any formula that has melatonin (3 grams) and calming agents like valeriana, kava kava, and chamomile. Do your best to eat three healthy meals a day and to avoid bingeing on chocolate and coffee.

sensory issues to check out funandfunction.com and therapyshoppe.com for objects that will tremendously aid your child in school and at home. I would also recommend that teachers browse these sites and purchase small items such as pencil grippers and stress balls to have handy, or at least to be able to guide parents on the matter.

Wishing all parents much hatzlachah in dealing with this issue, Rabbi E. Bixenspanner

time, and she has experienced the most wonderful changes as a result. I know this was mentioned in the article, but having witnessed it myself, I feel the need to reiterate this point. TLC is a truly inspiring, growth-oriented, and, most importantly, Torahdik forum. They are constantly discussing inspirational topics, and all their concepts are solely based on Torah. It’s truly amazing how much these meetings encourage a relationship with Hashem! Since this point wasn’t brought out clearly in the article, I felt the need to reiterate this aspect.

Esti H.

TLC Review Issue #50: Unmasked

I appreciated the article on the various anonymous groups in the Purim issue. A family member of mine has been participating in TLC meetings for a long

Refreshing Perspective Issue #50: Torah Wellspring

I found the concept of masquerade in

Rabbi Ezra Friedman’s Purim article to be fascinating. Every time I read a piece like this, which is so full of chizuk and positivity, providing us with a perspective on the Yom Tov that is refreshing and invigorating, I wonder, “Why wasn’t I taught this in high school or seminary?” As a wife, and a mother of boys, I don’t think this is being taught in yeshivah either. Nowadays, it appears that many of us are suffering from the repercussions of a chinuch that not only did not celebrate our individuality and uniqueness, but subtly shunned it. I know too many people, including myself, who, although we appear confident and self-assured, feel that we have some kind of deep flaw and are constantly berating ourselves for not being good enough. I appreciated that a similar matter was addressed in Heart to Heart as well, providing me with much food for thought

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinions of the letter writers and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

Take care, Chaya Tilla (Tina) Brachfeld, RN, health kinesiologist

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 13

Springboard

Letters

Public Service Announcement Rise and Drink As someone who is interested in leading a healthy lifestyle and who does whatever I can to maintain one, I am always on the lookout for ways to give my body what it needs. I would like to share one health tidbit I’ve been practicing for a while now. Several months ago, I read about the “health mantra” of a cardiologist in Mumbai. He advised that immediately upon awakening, one should drink 1 liter (about 33 ounces) of water. The reasoning he gave for this habit is that the alkalinity of the mouth (after a night of sleep) will help dissolve the minerals in the stomach. Drinking water immediately upon awakening also helps flush out toxins and, of course, rehydrates the body after several hours of no drinking.

Dr. Chayala England also mentioned in one of her Wellspring articles that drinking two tall glasses of water first thing in the morning plays a significant role in preventing constipation. This may be especially helpful as we approach the days of Pesach. Peri O.

and a direction toward a happier life. I can’t thank you enough for what this publication has been doing for my emotional health (physical, of course, too!). Name withheld

It Works!

Issue #47: Cup of Tea With Rabbi Shea Weinstock

A while back, Wellspring featured

14 Wellspring | April 2020

an interview with a burn expert, Rabbi Weinstock, who recommended the application of raw potatoes on a burn. I must admit that when I read that, I was quite skeptical about its efficacy. Potatoes on a burn? I mean, this is 2020 we’re living in. But I was proven wrong. Just last week, my 6-year-old son decided to help himself to tea, filling up a cup of water from the percolator all by himself. He made one wrong move and the entire cup spilled all over his leg. I immediately removed his pants, finding a very large, very red spot. It was at that moment that the

advice came back to me, and I figured I had nothing to lose to try it.

I did, and it was magic. Just two minutes later, we watched as the red turned into a very light shade of pink. After another application, his pain decreased even more. We’ve been applying an ointment to the burn every day, and by now it’s practically gone. That’s a great lesson for this former skeptic.

With much appreciation, R. Lederer

BRAND

INFANT FORMULA

...‫שבכל הלילות‬

.‫כולנו מסובין‬

CHOLOV YISROEL

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

The Ultimate Tranquilizer What is the hidden light in this crisis?

As these lines are being written, we are living in a time of unprecedented uncertainty and pain, with no conclusion in sight. It is my hope that by the time you read these words, you will have already said “Baruch hatov vehameitiv,” with the pandemic behind us. Hopefully we will already have greeted Mashiach, or if we still have to wait for the day, perhaps Hashem will have sent us an effective means to bring an end to the tiny but powerful virus. As of now, we are experiencing a situation many of us haven’t experienced in our lifetime. This is not necessarily in regards to the illness itself, but in the panic, insecurity, uncertainty, and fright that have come up in the process. This is an eis tzarah hi l’Yaakov, a time for looking inward and evaluating how we can do our part to help the world emerge from this darkness. If we look at these circumstances with

16 Wellspring | April 2020

Whenever we suspect that our survival is threatened, we start to feel uneasy, both physically and emotionally.

a constructive perspective, we notice that beneath all this frenzy shines a steady ray of light. We can come away with a treasure trove of gems that will help build and strengthen our inner world. In order to do that, let’s take a deeper look at the reality that’s transpiring before our eyes. Externally, we’re watching a destructive virus make its path around the world at lightning speed. As a result, we’re witnessing the rapid spread of internal fear, anxiety, and uncertainty among us.

What is this fear all about? Hashem created us humans, as well as all living things, with a natural instinct to pursue survival. Whenever we suspect that our survival is threatened, we start to feel uneasy, both physically and emotionally. When we’re in this state, we instinctively, as well as consciously, do whatever we can to extract ourselves from the threatening situation in order to return to the level of comfort, tranquility, and menuchas

When we endure a crisis of this magnitude, we are granted a great opportunity to reroute our sense of security by choosing to rely on the true Source of comfort.

hanefesh we naturally crave.

In essence, the mechanism of fear is a gift from Hashem. It’s what enables us to maintain our survival. However, since living in an elevated, constant state of fear is uncomfortable, at best, and painful, at worst, we constantly seek to assure ourselves that our survival is not being threatened as a means not to feel the fear. We do that through relying on something that is more powerful than what we perceive as a threat. The object of our reliance will always be something that we believe is capable of eliminating the threat on our behalf. Doing so is a natural means through which we assure ourselves that our survival is not endangered. Since Childhood

The need to rely on something that is more powerful than all the threats we may possibly face comes into existence at birth. When a child is young, he gets this feeling of being completely safe when his parents act in a way that will engender feelings of security. A child who is raised by loving parents who are

a comforting, confident presence does not concern himself very much with his survival. The knowledge that his parents are willing and able to provide him with all of his needs, will step in to ensure that his survival is not endangered, and are more powerful than his perceived threats, fills him with the sense of calm that is necessary to develop properly, both physically and emotionally. (The need for security is so strong that even a child who doesn’t feel that his parents are there for him may fantasize that they are.)

What happens when we grow up and we start to realize that our parents can only be there for us to a certain extent and they can’t actually protect us from any and all of the threats to our survival? In most cases, we start subconsciously relying on other sources of protection in our quest to feel calm. For example, we rely on the justice department and a smooth-running government for our physical security. In terms of health issues, we may rely on the knowledge that expert medical care or the plethora of natural remedies exist to ensure our health.

For most of us, as long as we know that there’s someone out there who’s stronger and more powerful than our perceived threat, and has the ability to protect us, we feel the calm that is so vital for our wellbeing. Hashem orchestrated that these messengers should be there to help us feel this way, but the problem happens when we lose sight of Who is behind these figures of strength, Who gives them the ability to do what they are doing to protect us.

In other words, we could rely on the government as long as we aren’t relying on the officials, per se, only on Hashem, who sends them to protect us. In the same vein, we could rely on the medical system as long as we aren’t relying on the doctors, per se, only on Hashem, who sends these individuals to heal us. When this is our perspective— that these systems are protecting me but only because Hashem is behind them—when any of these systems are unable to help us, whatever the reason may be, the

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 17

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health

In a split second, the Yidden realized that everything they had ever relied on was an illusion.

unstable situation may be unpleasant, but it won’t leave us feeling hopeless and abandoned. In the crisis we currently find ourselves, this very phenomenon is taking place. Of course, this is a very unstable time for all of us, which naturally causes a great deal of fear, but the tumult, despair, and panic is a result of a reliance on the systems, as opposed to the Force behind them. Why a Dog?

Over the past seventy years, the world has become a relatively stable place. From powerful militaries, impregnable governments, a booming economy, medical development, travel options at our fingertips — even traveling to the moon had already been conquered — it appeared as if we humans were managing to find a solution to every problem. All of these are gifts from Hashem to protect us so we could feel calm and safe. But, if we look at these systems with a surface view, without realizing what lies behind them, our sense of security is not only superficial, but it is also at risk of crumbling in an instant, as we’re observing at the present time. 18 Wellspring | April 2020

The Gemara (Sanhedrin 97a) tells us that in the times of Mashiach, “the face of the generation will be like the face of a dog.” The Beis HaLevi notes that the comparison was drawn to a dog, in particular, as opposed to another animal, because when a rock is thrown at him, instead of chasing after the perpetrator, the dog pounds on the rock.

In our current sophisticated world, we felt a certain sense of security in the various systems that were in place to protect us. And in the midst of it all, COVID-19 came along, defying the strength we may have perceived in so much. The medical world is stunned; government officials are out of words; even the indefatigable president appears to be at a loss. If we have felt secure all along in the Force behind these security systems, we may certainly feel afraid of the unknown and uncomfortable by the instability. However, at the same time, we experience a profound sense of security, being cognizant of Who was the one to throw this rock. But, if our entire sense of security was contingent upon those systems, per se, we may find ourselves feeling utterly hopeless and in despair as we watch everything

we’ve relied on unravel before our eyes.

When we endure a crisis of this magnitude, when we witness with such clarity that nothing in this world is certain at its core, and there is no system for us to rely on, we are granted a great opportunity to reroute our sense of security by choosing to rely on the true Source of comfort. He is the G-d who always was and always will be. We will always be His beloved children, for whom He performs only kindnesses, whether we see it or not. The Pesach Connection

It is no coincidence that we’re experiencing this great upheaval in the month of Nissan, the month of Geulah. When the Yidden were redeemed from Mitzrayim, where did HaKadosh Baruch Hu take them? Their first leg of their journey was in the desert, an arid place with no food or water. How was this a relief for the Yidden? True, they were done with the backbreaking labor from their days in Mitzrayim, but what did they have in the desert? HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s message to Klal Yisrael was, “I’m taking you to a place where you will experience the greatest threat to your survival.” The desert is not only

Heart.works

devoid of food, water and shelter, but it is also home to hazardous creatures. This was a place where the Yidden had no stability, no source of power on which to pin their sense of security.

So why was this called a redemption? What benefit did the Yidden derive from traversing through a place that could have been the quintessential catalyst for feelings of fear and abandonment? Before Hashem took them there, he performed the great miracle of Krias Yam Suf on their behalf. The splitting of the sea was a magnificent display of Hashem’s Hand behind all of nature. In a split second, the Yidden realized that everything they had ever relied on was an illusion. It was then that they felt in the depths of their heart that they were in the hands of the One who is not only not subservient to nature, but He is the One who orchestrates nature. Knowing that they were in the hands of a Force like this, they needed nothing else. They understood that nature would not stand in the way of their survival. Furthermore, since they felt secure that every need would be provided the physical circumstances didn’t matter at all.

So great was the Yidden’s emunah at that time, that Hashem said wistfully, “I remember the days when you walked after Me in the midbar,” (Yirmiyahu 2:2). He missed the days when the Yidden felt secure despite the tremendous apparent uncertainty in their lives. They may not have had a natural source of sustenance or a natural source of income, but they had Hashem. And with Hashem at their side, they had everything. When a Yid is zocheh to realize that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is the One who orchestrates nature, the One who stands behind every occurrence in his life, he does not feel that his survival is ever threatened, and he is thus filled with an incredible menuchas hanefesh.

If a Yid is zocheh at this time to look beyond the surface and realize that his need to feel safe is because Hashem wants us to have emunah in Him, and not to channel our reliance toward His messengers, he is able to come away from this crisis with an incredible gift. It is the gift of relying on the Source of security that provides the only true sense of comfort. May Hashem help us come away from these days with this deeply comforting sense of security and to accept everything He sends with love. May we be zocheh to experience miracles like those the Yidden witnessed upon leaving Mitzrayim and to offer the korban Pesach in the Beis Hamidkdash this very year. Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

Feeling Canned?

Well Informed

Spiritual Eating By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

The Haggadah: A Textbook for Hakaras Hatov

Contrasts, details, gifts. Rav Noach Orlowek says that these three concepts are fundamental principles of the Haggadah, and the foundation upon which our gratitude to Hashem is built.

Contrasts: Why is this night different than all other nights? We were slaves and now we are free. We were idol worshippers and now we serve Hashem. We were destitute in Egypt but we left with great wealth. The more we actively compare and contrast the happenings in our lives, the greater the appreciation we’ll feel. We shouldn’t have to wait for those comparisons to be forced upon us, such as valuing our health only when we’re chas v’shalom at risk of losing it. Details: Were there 10 plagues in Egypt and 50 at the sea, 40 and 200, or 25 and 250? Was it just, “the days of your life,” that we should remember or, “all the days of your life”? Why the meticulous explanation of pasuk after pasuk starting way back when? Why is it necessary to take us

through Yaakov’s relationship with Lavan all the way through the Egyptian servitude and exodus? This can be compared to a connoisseur of fine art who sees the intricate details that comprise the beauty of a painting so much more than a simple passerby noticing a nice landscape. His appreciation, therefore, is so much greater. The more we become connoisseurs of life, the more we develop an appreciation for every single facet of our lives, the greater our love and gratitude for the Master Artist.

Gifts: Would it really have been enough if Hashem had divided the sea but not brought us through on dry land? Would it really have been enough to be in the desert for 40 years but not have the mahn? How about not giving us Shabbos, the Torah, Eretz Yisrael, or the Beis Ha-

mikdash? If you’re shopping in the grocery, and your bill is $18 — if you give the cashier a $20 bill, do you thank him for the change that you’re rightfully entitled to? Even if it’s owed to us, we say thank you because it’s the right thing to do. So, surely our thanks is that much greater when we get a gift, which we don’t feel entitled to. “Al achas kamah v’kamah, tovah kefulah u’mechupeles laMakom aleinu, how much more so do we owe thanks to Hashem for the manifold favors!” We can translate these lessons into practical tools to help us set appropriate boundaries around our meals during the upcoming holiday. This will allow us to have true freedom from overeating — a challenge which causes many of us to stumble during this zeman cheiruseinu.

Contrasts: Compare the feeling of joy and success of maintaining your goals versus the few transitory moments of pleasure you’ll get by ingesting what looks so tempting at the time, but is worthless to you as soon as you swallow the last bite. As Chazal say, the wise man is the one who sees the results of the future and uses that to motivate him in the present. Weigh yourself the morning before

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years.

Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

20 Wellspring | April 2020

Heart.works

Pesach, write down the number, and commit to weighing yourself the day after Yom Tov is over. Your goal should be to remain within two to three pounds, if not ideally staying at the same weight. Take one pair of clothing and try it on before Pesach. Make a mental note of how it fits, and commit to trying on the same clothes the morning after Yom Tov is over. Before eating each meal, think about how miserable you’ll feel if you gain so much weight that your clothes will be tight and uncomfortable after only a little more than a week’s time.

Details: Consider how much time and preparation you and your family put into ensuring a chometz-free home. Look at all the lists you checked off, all the kosher l’Pesach food you bought, the wine and shmura matzos you made sure to get. Why are we commanded to do these things? To ensure your house gets a thorough cleaning once a year? As a chesed to the food manufacturers or employees of the matzah bakeries? Of course not. We’re obligated to create a physical environment around us that best enables us to pursue spiritual heights: to adhere to Hashem’s mitzvos, to achieve personal and national freedom from our burdens, to strengthen our emunah and hakaras hatov. Consider this before sitting down to your seudos. Use this as an incentive to take proper care of your body in order to elevate your soul — and not to rationalize having free reign with the food as a release from the tension of the intense preparations. Gifts: What are we guaranteed in this world? Health? Prosperity? Family? Safety? The answer is nothing. No one on this planet goes to sleep at night with a contract from the Creator guaranteeing anything for the next day. Every single thing we receive is a gift. Therefore, we have an obligation to appreciate and take special care of those gifts G-d has chosen to give us. If we take but a few moments before each meal to take inventory of the wonderful physical and spiritual blessings Hashem has bestowed upon us, we will have a much better mind frame to properly utilize and protect those gifts, and not, G-d forbid, to abuse them through indulgence and indifference.

Feeling Canned?

Well Informed

Dental Health By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS

LASER FAST The field of dentistry is ever-evolving, with constant technological innovations that improve the quality of the services dentists offer. One of the innovations I really appreciate is being able to clean cavities with no shot, no numbness, and no pain.

I’ve been a dentist since 1977 and I’ve been using lasers since 1997. In May 2000, I became certified by the Academy of Laser Dentistry. I’ve advanced the quality of my laser equipment as the technology has become available. For the past four years, I have been using a Fotona Lightwalker™ and my patients have been very pleased with its speed and the comfort. But I still had to be picky about which cavities were right for laser. Solea™ Laser, however, which I have recently acquired, is making it possible for us to offer laser treatment instead of the drill to many more patients, since I can also use it for routine fillings. The main reason that people procrastinate going to the dentist is fear. They fear the drill, the needle, the pain and the noise. Since the laser is silent, and there’s no drill vibrating and whining, many of these concerns can be eliminated.

This laser treatment can be used for both adults and children. Many of us have come to dread dental visits for our children even more than for ourselves, since it’s extremely difficult for them to tolerate the discomfort and sound of the drilling — not to mention the danger of them moving their tongue in the drill’s way. Pleasant early experiences in the dentist’s chair will enable them to keep a positive attitude towards dentistry well into their adult lives. Laser is much faster, easier, and pain free. At the end of a visit my patients ask me “That’s it!?" What used to be a 30 minute appointment can often be completed in 10 minutes.

The new, improved laser provides our patients with a newfound sense of relaxation about coming to the dentist for a comfortable, more enjoyable dental experience. Ask your local dentist about the benefits that laser can offer you and your children.

WHAT CAN THE LASER BE USED FOR? • Laser periodontal (gum) treatment

• Decay and cavity preparation without pain without shots • Reshaping a “gummy” smile • Bloodless oral surgery

BENEFITS OF NEW SOLEA™ LASER • Faster Healing

• Less time in the dental chair • Minimal or no bleeding • Less post-operative pain

• Less fear and anxiety • No drill

• Minimal or no anesthesia

• Minimal inconvenience • Precision means we can be more conservative.

Dr. Jacques Doueck has been practicing family dentistry in Brooklyn, New York since 1977, and is a Diplomate of the Academy of Clinical Sleep Disorders Disciplines. He speaks nationally and trains other dentists in oral appliance therapy and state-of-the-art dentistry. Dr. Doueck is a member of the American Dental Association and serves on the District Claims Committee for the state society.

22 Wellspring | April 2020

FILTERED.

NOT BLOCKED.

Download + get started in just five minutes at www.Techloq.com

GO TO TECHLOQ.COM

SELECT A TECHLOQ FILTERING PLAN

USE CODE AT CHECKOUT AMI010 For further questions, email support@techloq.com

Techloq is the #1 Windows Filter, an effective, affordable filtering solution for families and businesses

Because when you have a powerfully accurate filter by your sideâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;you can browse smarter, not just stricter, and protect your browsing with customized settings that work for you. *

The promotional discount is valid only for your first payment. See TERMS & CONDITIONS at techloq.com/terms

Available at TAG locati ons or at Tag.Techloq.com

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE

TECHLOQ OFFERS A NO QUIBBLE 14 DAY MONEY-BACK

INTERNET FILTER

SAFER BROWSING FOR YOUR FAMILY AND BUSINESS

CUSTOMIZABLE FOR PERSONAL + BUSINESS USE

24/6 BLOCK PAGE ACCESS

THE #1 FILTER FOR WINDOWS DEVICES

Well Informed

Updates in the News By Esther Retek

NEW NUMBER Is 98.6° F still the average body temperature? With most of us having checked our body temperature more often than ever during the last few weeks, even the little ones have become familiar with the 98.6° mark. But is the number you were taught to look out for all these years the accurate, average body temperature?

According to a recent study published in eLife, we may be wrong. First, it’s important to note that body temperature is not just a fever indicator. Body temperature can indicate many other factors such as lifestyle habits and hydration levels. Body temperature is also a marker of metabolic health.

So what is normal body temperature? In 1851, German physician Carl Reinhold surveyed 25,000 people in one city and established that 98.6 F° is the standard temperature of the human body. For most of us, this is the standard number we’re accustomed to use as a reference point.

However, the study that surveyed more than 35,000 people in the United Kingdom found that 36.6°C/ 97.8° F is the new average temperature. Then researchers in California set out to investigate why the average had dropped. The team hypothesized that “the differences observed in temperature between the 19th century and today are real, and that the change over time provides important physiologic clues to alterations in human health and longevity.” Even more interesting than their results is the way they tested their hypothesis. History fans, this is for you. The researchers analyzed information from three different time periods. The first included data from 1862– 1930 obtained from Union

24 Wellspring | April 2020

Army veterans of the Civil War. The second dataset was from 1971–1975, and the third dataset was from 2007–2017. Overall, the scientists had access to 677,423 temperature measurements, which they integrated, forming a model of change over time. They found that the body temperature of men today is, on average, 0.59°C lower than that of men born in the early 19th century. Similarly, women’s body temperature dropped by 0.32°C from the 1890s to today. Overall, the analysis found a 0.03°C decrease in average temperature with every decade. “Our average temperature is not what people think it is,” says Dr. Julie Parsonnet, a professor of medicine, health research, and policy, and the senior author of the study. Scientists are suggesting that it’s time to change the information we were always taught. So why has the average body temperature changed? “Physiologically, we’re just different from what we were in the past,” Dr. Parsonnet says. The environment, foods we eat, technology, and weather changes are just some of the factors that affect the change. May we all be healthy this Pesach, and always.

wishing you a healthy &

l u f i t u a e B TrulyPesach F R O M T H E E N T I R E W H I T E O R C H I D FA M I LY

H. A. RECEPTIONIST

D. B.

ESTHET ICIAN

J. K. SPA DIRECTOR

E. S.

N. K.

OPERATIONS MANAG ER

ESTHETIC IAN

844.672.4430

whiteorchidmedispa.com

419 Route 59 Unit 15

WhiteOrchidMediSpa

Airmont, NY 10952

Sun 12-9 Mon-Th 11-8 Fri 9-1

Well Informed

Updates in the News

SOLUTIONS, ANYONE? These natural remedies are evidence based With an overload of well-meaning advice coming our way as to how to help our immune system ward off the virus, we may want to distinguish between those tips that are accurate and those that are likely to be a hoax.

There are no quick fixes or magical supplements to ward off disease. But, here’s some evidence-based guidance that, in addition to a healthy diet, may help support your immune system, with the help of Hashem. While they may not help keep the virus out, they may play a role in minimizing its effects and aiding in recovery. Keep in mind that maintaining a healthy immune system is a matter of maintaining our general health.

Vitamin C

Garlic

Vitamin C has been all the rage in the past couple of weeks. Although scientists have yet to determine accurately whether vitamin C can enhance immunity, there's plenty of evidence that it can fight bacteria and viruses, according to a study published in European Journal of Microbiology and Immunology.

Although this superfood’s immunity properties have long been the object of controversy, the Cleveland Clinic includes garlic on its list of 36 power foods, and for good reason. Garlic is a rich source of phytochemicals, plant chemicals known to ward off disease and help boost your immune system. According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, garlic has traditionally been used to treat many health conditions, including:

This is the time to load up on citrus fruits, which are known for their mega-doses of vitamin C. Studies show that citrus fruits have more than 8,000 flavonoid compounds, as well as significant amounts of potassium, folic acid, and fiber, which prevent other diseases. Sweet potatoes, butternut squash, tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, red bell peppers, and kiwi are also rich in vitamin C.

• high blood pressure

Zinc Another essential mineral involved in the production of certain immune cells is zinc. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) cautions that even having mildly low levels of zinc may impair immune function, and therefore it’s imperative to maintain healthy levels of this mineral. Beans — especially chickpeas, nuts, and green leafy vegetables — all contain doses of zinc.

26 Wellspring | April 2020

• high cholesterol • heart disease

• different types of cancer

When it comes to killing viruses, garlic has a good reputation too. But a review published in the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews found that more research is needed to assess its true properties. One recent trial did find that people who took garlic supplements reported spending fewer days sick with the common cold.

‫א‬ ‫י‬ ‫ר‬ ‫ד‬ ‫א‬ ‫נישט אר רפט‬ ‫ר פון שטוויסגיין‬ !‫עדט מיט'ן דא ב‬ ‫פון אינדער קטער‬ .‫היים‬

h t l a e H Tele at ParCare

Are you at home due to CoronaVirus?

VISIT YOUR DOCTOR FROM HOME Sunday-Thursday: 9:00am till 11:00pm Friday: 9:00am till Zman Motzei Shabbos: From Zman till 12:00am

DIAGNOSIS. MONITORING. ADVICE. PRESCRIPTIONS.

Call or WhatsApp our centers to book your appointment on our sophisticated TeleHealth technology program

Boro park location

Williamsburg location

6010 Bay Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11204

445 Park Avenue Brooklyn, ny 11205

718.475.1700

718.963.0800

PARCARECENTER .COM • INFO@PARCARECENTER .COM

Well Informed

Updates in the News

SOLUTIONS, ANYONE? Besides eating the right foods, other pillars of health can equally influence your immune system function. Here are some points to consider:

Exercise The good news is that regular moderate-intensity exercise offers several benefits to the immune system. A 2019 study published in Journal of Sport and Health Science shows that moderate exercise mobilizes immune system cells, helping the body defend itself against pathogens and cancer cell growth. Those who regularly engage in this type of exercise have fewer illnesses and less systemic inflammation. Exercise may also protect the immune system from the effects of aging.

Sleep One habit vital to preventing illness is getting a full eight hours of sleep each night, which may help regulate immune function according to a recent study published in Sleep Medicine Review. Another study conducted by JAMA of over 22,000 people found that those who slept less than six hours per night or who had a sleep disorder were more likely to have colds and other respiratory infections.

Hygiene Of course, frequent hand-washing is one of the best ways to ward off illness, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Wash your hands for 20 seconds using warm water and soap before preparing food or eating, as well as after coughing, sneezing, using the bathroom, or touching public surfaces.

28 Wellspring | April 2020

Relax like True Royalty ‫א כשר‘ן פרײלעכן פסח‬

718.799.5912 204 Broadway, Brooklyn, NY 11211

Well Informed

Figures By Malka Sharman

GLUTEN DATA On average, it takes

GLUTEN INTOLERANCE

Gluten can cause damage in amounts as low as

Approximately

PPM

1 133 IN

has celiac disease.

29%

of Americans report trying to avoid gluten for health reasons.

30 Wellspring | April 2020

the equivalence to 1 breadcrumb.

More than

years

6-10

for an individual to be correctly diagnosed with gluten intolerance.

As many as

92% of those who must lead a gluten-free diet continue to suffer because of cross contamination.

50% 2.6

of people trying to eliminate gluten are not gluten intolerant.

There are an estimated

million people

with undiagnosed celiac disease.

(Sources: MNT, NPD Group, Statista)

GLUTEN-FREE MARKET Gluten-free foods on average are

242% 64%

Billion

In 2019,

$3.73

17% annually.

32% 20

Food labeled as gluten-free must contain less than

of gluten-free products contain traces of gluten.

were spent on gluten-free products worldwide.

$1.77

Billion

GLUTEN-FREE PRODUCTS

of Americans consider it healthy to go gluten-free.

In 2019,

more expensive than their gluten-containing counterpart.

The gluten-free market grows

parts per million (ppm) of gluten.

were spent in America on glutenfree products.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 31

Well Informed

Health Ed By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Gluten-Free: Fact or Fad?

Do you find it challenging to manage without gluten for eight days a year? For this short period of time, most of us are on the lookout for gluten-free foods and recipes comparable to our year-round options. Potato starch and/or nut flour cakes and pies take the place of our regular gluten-dense fare. Nowadays, gluten-free isn’t only in the spotlight on Pesach. Although they’ve been only available in health-food stores for many years, gluten-free products show up in so many places these days. Supermarket aisles abound with products proudly labeled “gluten-free,” and many restaurants now offer gluten-free options. People have been switching to gluten-free diets to lose weight, boost energy, treat autism, or generally feel healthier. But is gluten as destructive as it’s made out to be? Take this quiz to learn more about this widely misunderstood substance.

What is gluten? A. A carbohydrate

B. A specific type of fat found in wheat and barley C. Any form of flour

D. A mixture of two proteins found in grains Answer: D. Gluten is a group of proteins found in grains like wheat, rye, spelt, and barley; wheat being by far the most commonly consumed. The two main proteins in gluten are glutenin and gliadin, with the latter being responsible for most of the negative health effects. When flour is mixed with water, its gluten proteins form a sticky network that has a glue-like consistency. This contributes to the dough’s elasticity, giving bread the ability to rise when baked. It also provides a chewy, satisfying texture. Interestingly, the name gluten is derived from this glue-like property of wet dough.

32 Wellspring | April 2020

When

Gluten

Can Be Toxic

True or False: Everyone benefits from abstaining from gluten. Answer: False.

For those whose bodies react negatively to gluten (see sidebar), abstaining from this substance is crucial.

A gluten-free diet is not necessarily healthier for individuals who do not have celiac disease or a verified gluten intolerance. For such individuals, cutting gluten out of the diet deprives them of various nutrients that would otherwise be easily and readily available to them. Research suggests that adequate consumption of whole grains is associated with lower risk of chronic diseases, such as heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. According to the WHO, whole grains can reduce the risk of colorectal cancer by almost 17%. Whole grains are also a great source of energizing B vitamins and fiber.

Gluten is not problematic for most of the population, but for some, it can lead to dire consequences. Those with celiac disease, a hereditary autoimmune disorder that affects about one percent of the US population, must follow a strict glutenfree diet to prevent damage to the small intestine. For those affected, ingesting even trace amounts of gluten interferes with the body’s ability to absorb critical nutrients like vitamin B12. Symptoms of celiac disease include fatigue, joint pain, bloating, weight loss, and diarrhea. It’s important to check with a doctor or health care provider if one suspects that they have celiac disease, which can have dire consequence if left untreated.

Non-celiac gluten sensitivity, also known as “gluten intolerance,” is another common reason to eliminate gluten. It involves symptoms similar to celiac disease, but doesn’t cause intestinal damage. People who experience gluten sensitivity may avoid gluten to reduce symptoms, but won’t suffer from nutritional deficiencies.

If you think you may have celiac disease or gluten sensitivity, it’s best to see a doctor before you attempt a gluten-free diet. Once one has avoided gluten for a while, it becomes difficult to establish if they have celiac disease, gluten sensitivity, or neither.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 33

Well Informed

Health Ed

True or False: Naturally gluten-free foods are always certified as “gluten free.” Answer: False.

According to the FDA rule for gluten-free labeling, foods labeled gluten-free can’t have more than 20 parts per million of gluten. Products that are naturally gluten-free, like oats, are likely to contain more than 20 parts per million of gluten. To be safe, choose grains, seeds, and flours that are labeled gluten-free rather than opting for naturally gluten-free products. Additionally, many gluten-free products aren’t completely free of gluten because of cross contamination. The pizza you may have ordered on a gluten-free crust likely wasn’t fired in a gluten-free oven. It’s great that restaurants nowadays have gluten-free options, but unless they were made in a certified gluten-free facility, they’re likely cross-contaminated. While this may not pose a problem to those with gluten sensitivity, it can be problematic for those with celiac disease.

Gluten-Free is Not Junk-Free Just because a food is touted as gluten-free doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily good for you. Gluten-free breads and baked goods may still use nutrient-poor, refined flours; they can also be high in sugar. It definitely doesn’t hurt to reduce your macaroon consumption this Pesach even if they are “gluten free.”

Which one of these diseases require one to eliminate gluten? A. Kidney disease B. Celiac disease C. Heart disease D. High blood pressure Answer: B. Going gluten-free may be a current fad, but it’s not medically necessary (and can easily be more costly) for most people, unless they suffer specifically from celiac disease. That said, there’s no denying that Americans over-consume processed carbohydrates like refined white flour, as in bagels, crackers, cookies, muffins, pastries, and noodles. Avoiding gluten-containing foods is a strategy to eat less foods that contain refined carbohydrates. However, replacing wheat products with similar gluten-free versions made with refined starches isn’t doing the body any favors either. Over the last few years, there was a surge in popularity of gluten-free whole grains like wild rice, quinoa, millet, certified gluten-free oats; as well as nut meals like coconut and almond flours. These are the kinds of whole, less-refined gluten-free products you should be looking out for, whether or not the doctor has told you to avoid gluten.

34 Wellspring | April 2020

True or False: “Wheat-free” does not necessarily mean “gluten-free.” Answer: True.

As mentioned above, gluten is not just found in wheat. Therefore, just because a food doesn’t contain wheat, that doesn’t mean it’s free of gluten from other sources, like barley and rye. Keep an eye out for other varieties of grains as well, including faro, semolina, graham, spelt, and farina. Gluten also lurks in other less known, unexpected places such as in malt (malt flavoring, malt vinegar), yeast, Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce, “natural flavors,” modified food starch, and vitamin and mineral supplements.

Laura Shammah MS, RDN, has been operating a private practice in New York and New Jersey for over 20 years. Her clientele runs the gamut from people with eating disorders to those dealing with hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and cancer. She also helps clients who run in marathons or are looking to lose or gain weight in a healthy way. Her nutritional guidance is published in MaryAnne Cohen’s book Lasagna for Lunch: Declaring Peace With Emotional Eating. Laura can be reached at 718-376-0062 or Laurashammah@aol.com.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 35

Well Informed

Dedicated to Health By Esther Retek

Chevra Hatzolah was founded in 1967 by Hershel Weber, as a volunteer emergency medical service organization for the Jewish community. Originally launched in Williamsburg, Chevra Hatzolah has since branched out to virtually every Jewish community. In New York alone, Chevra Hatzolah has more than a thousand volunteer EMTs and paramedics who answer more than 70,000 calls each year with private vehicles and a fleet of more than 90 ambulances.

What led to the launching of Chevra Hatzolah? One day in 1967, Williamsburg native Hershel Weber was walking down the street when a man suddenly collapsed before his eyes. As any Yid would have done, he tried to reach out for help. Back then, the process of obtaining medical help was long, convoluted, and a near death sentence for those in need. One was supposed to call 911, have a cop come down to assess the situation, and only then would the cop call for an ambulance. For those who grew up in the era after Hatzolah was established, this process is hard to fathom. Witnessing the panic-inducing scene, Mr. Weber felt that the time had come to take action. Not one to waste time, he devised a plan to train heimishe men, provide them with necessary supplies, and have them attend to

36 Wellspring | April 2020

emergency calls. Within a few days, he brought his plan to action. He obtained several oxygen tanks, recruited five men, and sent them for first-aid training. His house turned into an unassuming dispatching office, with people calling his home phone â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the famous number thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s still in use today, 718-387-1750. These first, brave members adorned their cars with sirens to help them get to the locations faster, used now-archaic beepers to connect to each other â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and within a short time, the word was out. From there, Chevra Hatzolah branched out to serve its neighboring community, Crown Heights, continued on to Boro Park, and then the Upstate communities. A few unpretentious actions of a kind-hearted Yid led to a revolution in the medical arena of the Jewish community.

Questions for:

What is your current role at the organization and what does your daily schedule look like? Currently, I am one of the twenty paramedics with extensive experience in the field. I joined the organization in 1993, making my tenure one of almost thirty years. Additionally, I am in charge of the yearly fundraising event that Hatzolah hosts in the springtime to help out with the astronomical costs involved.

If there is any group of people who run an “unscheduled” day, it’s Chevra Hatzolah. The halachos of saving a life won’t allow us to take a break at any time, dismiss calls because we’re at an important event, or fail to respond because we’re lazy or tired. The only way we can plan anything in a day is if we close the radio (after clearing it with the dispatcher). In that way, we don’t hear the calls and are therefore not mechuyav to respond. Otherwise, we’re obligated to respond even if we are at a wedding, davening on Yom Kippur, hosting a Pesach Seder, or at an important appointment. Even when we’re not on call, we’re constantly being called privately by people seeking our medical knowledge and knocking at our doors at any given time of day or night.

Avrum Meir Follman Longtime Paramedic for

Chevra Hatzolah

How does the process work from when an individual calls for help until medical care is obtained? We’ve set up the organization in a way that enables us to help the community in the quickest and most effective fashion. One dispatching office receives calls for all areas under Chevra Hatzolah — which covers almost all of New York and more. The day’s hours are divided into four shifts, with the volunteers rotating according to the shifts.

When a call comes in, the dispatcher usually asks the caller several questions, so he can provide the most appropriate assistance. Callers often get annoyed or nervous when these questions are asked, and understandably so. They are usually panicking and under pressure and therefore deem these questions unimportant. Truthfully, however, every question asked is vital toward dispatching the best possible assistance, so it’s important to answer these questions to the best of your ability. The office has a sizable map that shows the precise location of the caller. The map can also tell us where Hatzolah members are located and how we can cover the call in the most efficient manner. The call is then dispatched to the members, who are given a basic background of the situation so they can be most prepared upon arrival. If a situation calls for more than one volunteer, the dispatcher waits for more volunteers to respond. When a call is taken, the other members will be notified.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 37

Well Informed

Hatzolah to the Rescue, Once Again Despite Hatzolah’s 24/7 availability and desire to help the community, obtaining an interview proved to be one of the most difficult tasks to pull through. And not because they didn’t want to. Hatzolah is now facing one of its biggest challenges of all time, and as usual, they are coming in on the front lines in guiding our community through the crisis. Inundated with hysterical phone calls, frantic questions, and unfortunately an avalanche of “difficulty breathing” calls re-

What is the greatest challenge Hatzolah faces? The organization’s greatest challenge is being able to cover the thousands of calls that come in. Despite having a fleet of around 1500–2000 members throughout New York, with 135 volunteers in Williamsburg alone, coverage is still an issue. For every call, we hope to have enough members who will respond and offer their assistance. Especially during times like now, every member is on call all day. It takes miracles to cover every call.

On a personal level, an issue that every dedicated volunteer needs to deal with is ensuring our emotional health and stability. I have seen tens of cardiac arrests, gory accidents, and really traumatic events that can easily leave any person scarred. Being able to let go of the tension and move on after such incidents is challenging and requires tremendous emotional stamina.

What do you wish people would know regarding Hatzolah? Although most people who observe our work from up close know this already, it’s still important to reiterate this time and again. Hatzolah volunteers work tirelessly to aid the community, and they do so with no trace of bias, prejudice, or personal intentions. People can often mistake a Hatzolah member’s directive as something personal, but we have no partnerships with any hospital, we don’t get paid for any work, and we definitely don’t gain if we bring more patients to the ER. If a Hatzolah member advises you to do a certain course of action, you have all the rights to do as you please, but

38 Wellspring | April 2020

Can you share a story that reflects the Hashgacha and yad Hashem Hatzolah continuously witnesses? Hatzolah members witness siyatta diShmaya with every step they take. There are so many stories about members who were “incidentally” near a call site, coming in the nick of time to save the situation; of members arriving to the scene at the perfect moment.

One year, immediately after Pesach, I ran out to a call, “mistakenly” leaving my radio at home. Since someone else took the call, the dispatcher notified the other members that someone already responded — as is standard protocol. However, since I didn’t have my radio with me, I still made my way to the site. Arriving there, I realized that the other member had already taken the call. He assessed the scene and thought the patient was merely experiencing heartburn symptoms that often occur when people switch back from their Pesach diet to their regular chometz fare. Once I was there anyway, I analyzed the situation myself and I immediately realized that these were symptoms of an imminent cardiac arrest. We quickly worked on the patient to help him out. Had I taken the radio with me, I wouldn’t have come to the scene and the patient wouldn’t have received the help he needed.

bear in mind that with our years of experience and almost no stories of mess-ups, it’s worthwhile to heed our advice.

Another common issue that arises is that of hospitalization. Hatzolah members are trained to recognize when a situation calls for hospital care, and when such a situation arises, we will strongly urge the patient to do what’s best for them. We’re often met with resistance when we feel we need to take someone in. People are afraid of the ER, of hospitals in general, and will often try to argue and avoid going. Of course we understand that going in is not pleasant, but have in mind that most people don’t regret doing so upon our urging. After all, what we want most is to keep the patient safe.

lated to COVID-19, Hatzolah is working tirelessly around the clock. Although little accurate information is available about the virus, Hatzolah taught their members to recognize basic symptoms, as well as fundamental procedures to deal with them. They’ve also informed the community about necessary precautions and are doing their best to encourage people to adhere to them. Of course, members try to protect themselves in the best way possible, wearing masks and gloves to every call. Despite these precautions, however, many of the Hatzolah members have already contracted the

illness, leaving even less members for availability; those who are still available continue to valiantly sacrifice their health daily to help the community. “All of our members are going from call to call, without rest,” says Mr. Follman. “We are taking in tens of people to hospitals daily because of difficulty breathing, and the elderly don’t comprise all of the calls we receive. There are many young ones who are severely ill, too. Don’t belittle the situation and claim that it’s all an exaggeration; listen to what the professionals are urging and do your best to obey the regulations.”

What type of person would you say fit the profile of a Hatzolah member, and what does the process entail?

Almost every young boy dreams of being a Hatzolah member at one point, mainly envisioning the radio, a bright neon vest, and the excitement of blaring lights. Many adults also think of serving in Hatzolah as an adventurous, powerful, and rewarding escapade. The reality, however, is not so exciting. When you’re woken up at 3 a.m. and need to run to a call, no one will know what you sacrificed, and no one will cheer you on for doing such a wonderful deed. Therefore, first and foremost, I find that’s it’s crucial to have a burning desire to help other people. You need to be self-motivated to go out and help a Yid at any time. If you’re the type to sacrifice everything you have for someone else, then consider becoming a member. Of course it’s also important to be strong in the face of a medical crisis, to be brave, and to be able to stay calm and collected. Confidentiality is also a primary feature of the work we do. It’s vital for members to guard any information they hear, see, or know when attending to calls. Often, the stories people hear about much later are the ones we’ve been keeping confidential from the start. The ability to maintain privacy is therefore an important criterion too. Those who want to become part of Hatzolah will find their way to go about it. Seek out any Hatzolah member in your community, and he’ll guide you to get in touch with the right people so you can start the necessary training.

What’s the best part of the work you do?

Undoubtedly, the best and most gratifying part of the work we do is the knowledge that we make such a tremendous impact on thousands of lives and that we play an integral role in ensuring the safety and health of Klal Yisroel. Saving a life is no simple matter and we feel privileged to be able to part of this important mitzvah daily.

How would you differentiate between ordinary and experienced members?

The biggest difference between an experienced and amateur member is the ability to accurately pinpoint an underlying issue when seeing a patient. It’s easy to come and simply help a person get from point A to B, but when a person is exhibiting symptoms, it’s best to investigate what lies beneath the symptoms he’s experiencing. To be able to do so, one needs years of experience, perception, and a lot of siyatta diShmaya.

How do you manage the stress that comes along with your taxing work?

Admittedly, stress is an inevitable, unavoidable part of the work. With no schedule, no time to take a break, and no knowledge as to where we will be in the next hour, it’s hard to always maintain a sense of calm. Additionally, as I’ve already mentioned, the stress we need to deal with after particular incidents can truly be difficult. Hatzolah is constantly on top of the situation and will ensure that their members receive the best care after an extremely disturbing or traumatic event. Hatzolah therefore offers their volunteers classes and lectures by top psychologists and professionals to help them unwind and retain their emotional stability. All members also learn vital breathing techniques that help us maintain our strength.

At this time, in the name of the entire frum community, Wellspring extends its deepest gratitude and appreciation to Chevra Hatzolah for your tireless efforts on behalf of the klal. May Hashem repay you with much mazel and bracha, and may you always be on the giving end.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 39

Well Informed

Insider By Roizy Baum

NEW COLUMN!

THE

HEART

The Love Connection Do you love to learn about your heart? That love stems from your heart. While the general world has come to attribute the love-heart association to ancient Egyptian culture, we find a plethora of Torah sources that refer to the heart as the source of emotion, including: “velo sasuru acharei levavchem” (Bamidbar 15:39); “kol nediv lev, every generous-hearted person” (Shemos 35:22); “yismach lev mevakshei Hashem,” (Tehillim 105:3); and “lev tahor bera li Elokim” (Tehillim 51:12). When you experience elevated blood pressure when something excites you, you know that this is the organ that’s at the heart of our emotions.

Teeny Tiny Already four weeks after conception, the human heart starts beating. A fetal heartbeat can be detected by doctors as early as five-and-a-half to six weeks after gestation. While the heart of a newborn baby is one-sixteenth of the size of an adult heart, it contains the same number of cells.

Transport System The three types of blood vessels are the arteries, veins, and capillaries. Arteries carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to all the body’s tissues and cells. Closer to the heart, the arteries are about as thick as a gardening hose, and then they branch out into smaller tubes as they carry blood further from the heart and into the organs. The aorta, the largest artery, runs from the heart to the stomach. Due to its size, the aorta carries the most blood. It’s also the most common site for aneurysms. Veins are the blood vessels that perform the exact opposite function — they return the blood back to the heart. This blood is poor in oxygen and saturated with waste products that are sent to be excreted from the body. The closer they are to the heart, the larger the veins are. Finally, we have capillaries — small, thin blood vessels that act as connectors between the arteries and veins. Some capillaries are ten times smaller than a human hair, and so tiny that bloods cells have to travel singlefile through them. Via the very thin walls of the capillaries, nutrients, waste products, oxygen, and carbon dioxide are exchanged. Damage to a capillary is a hair’s breadth away from serious damage to the circulatory system. There are 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body. Still, every vessel makes a difference. If even one vessel is damaged, the heart has to work harder to pump blood.

40 Wellspring | April 2020

In and Out As the heart beats, it pumps blood through a system of blood vessels called the circulatory system. The vessels are elastic, muscular tubes that carry blood all over the body. Blood serves a crucial role in your body. Not only does it carry fresh oxygen from the lungs and nutrients to the body’s tissues, it also enables the body’s removal of certain waste products. Carbon dioxide and other waste products are whisked away from the tissues by the blood.

Tour of the Heart The heart is divided into the right and left sides, with both sides working as a team. Starting from the right side, blood enters the heart through two large veins — the inferior and superior vena cava — emptying oxygen-poor blood from the body into the right atrium (upper cavity). As the atrium contracts, blood flows from the right atrium into the right ventricle (lower cavity) through the open tricuspid valve. The ventricle fills up, and when it reaches capacity, the tricuspid valve shuts. (If not for the shutting of the valve, when the ventricle would contract, the blood would flow directly back into the right atrium.) Then, the ventricle contracts, and the blood leaves the heart, through the pulmonic valve, into the pulmonary artery

and on to the lungs, where it receives its oxygen dose. Finally, the oxygenated blood returns to the heart through the pulmonary veins. On to the left side, the pulmonary veins empty oxygen-rich blood from the lungs into the left atrium. The atrium contracts, and blood flows from the left atrium into the left ventricle through the open mitral valve. Similar to the tricuspid valve, when the ventricle is entirely full, the mitral valve shuts. As the ventricle contracts, blood leaves the heart through the aortic valve, into the aorta and to the body. This pattern is repeated again and again, causing blood to flow unceasingly to the heart, lungs, and body.

Keep the Pressure Down Weightless Muscle You would think that the organ which we depend on for our very lives would hold some prominence when it comes to weight, but that’s not so. The heart weighs less than a pound, with most hearts weighing between 7 and 15 ounces. A female’s heart is smaller than a male’s by about 25%, which results in it beating around six times more a minute to circulate the right amount of blood around the body. This amazing less-than-a-pound pump works double as hard as the leg muscles of a sprinter. Moving your blood around your body involves complicated, intricate procedures. With so much force needed, a strong, healthy heart is crucial.

Beat, Beat The average heart beats about 80 times per minute. Our heartbeat increases when we run, it’s never as fast as the heart rate of a newborn. A newborn’s heart beats from 70 to 190 beats per minute. Athletes, who train regularly, will have a very slow resting heart rate, around 40 to 60 beats per minute.

Stress causes a rise in blood pressure and heart rate. This rise, coupled with stress hormones, is capable of forming pockets of plaque and causing a blockage to the heart — which results in a heart attack. The day most heart attacks happen is Monday, possibly because it’s the back-to-work day, and for many people, that’s conducive to stress. Stress hormones are highest in the morning. The difference between men and women doesn’t stop at the heart size. They have different heart attack symptoms, too. A woman’s symptoms are less noticeable than those of a man. Common symptoms include uncomfortable squeezing, pressure, and pain in the center of the chest. It can also produce nausea, shortness of breath, and pain in one or both arms, the back, neck, or stomach. Men, on the other hand, experience the better-known heart attack symptoms of chest pain, discomfort, and pressure. Shortness of breath and pain in other areas is common as well, such as the arms, neck, back, and jaw. Some people experience sweating and a discomfort that mimics heartburn. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 41

Well Informed

Tips From the Expert The Happiness Factor Heartbreak is no laughing matter, either. When one feels the intense emotional pain referred to as “heartbreak,” the symptoms one exhibits can mimic the indicators of a heart attack. Strong feelings of sadness release stress hormones into the body and may cause chest pain and shortness of breath. Do your heart a favor and laugh. When you laugh, your blood vessels expand, which causes twenty percent more blood to be sent around your body. That means your heart can have an easier job doing its important work.

Heart at Work Your fist-sized powerhouse is an ever-active station. Two thousand gallons of blood are pumped every day. During your lifetime, you pump about one million barrels of blood. The thousands of gallons pumped daily travel approximately the equivalent of 12,000 miles as it continuously travels through your body — which is four times the size of the US, from coast to coast. The four valves of the heart keep opening and closing, thus causing the famous thud-thud sound. The average heart beats 80 times a minute. This adds up to around 115,000 times a day, or 42 million times a year! Ever used the expression that your heart “skipped a beat?” Contrary to popular belief, no heart ever skips a beat — not even when one sneezes! The only time a heart stops is when one experiences a heart attack or another lifethreatening emergency.

Dr. Mervyn S. Gotsman, cardiologist I won’t date myself, but I have good reason to go by the nickname “Cardiology Dinosaur.” Although the field of cardiology has experienced a great revolution over the past few decades thanks to technology, factors that negatively affect the heart have not changed. Heart disease can be genetic, but it is usually caused by negligence to oneself. Here’s how you can do your part to keep your heart healthy. • Obesity is the number one cause of heart disease, and causes diabetes in the long term. Do whatever you can to prevent or treat obesity through diet and exercise. Skip the taxi and ignore the car. Do loads of walking, bicycle riding, and long distance trips by foot. • Atherosclerosis is like having rust in the arteries. The hardening of the arteries is caused by inactivity. Walking at least twenty minutes a day is important. The “rust” in the arteries will affect the arteries and eventually lead to heart attack. Stay off saturated fats as much as possible. • Smoking cigarettes corrodes the arteries. Smoking should be out completely. Start educating your children from a young age. • Avoid stress. • Most importantly, have your doctor measure your blood at least once every five years. Any kind of abnormalities should be restored to normal. A change of diet, exercise, or medication may be necessary to help this happen. Professor Mervyn S. Gotsman is Professor Emeritus of Cardiology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and Hadassah Medical Center in Jerusalem, Israel. He has treated many leading politicians in Israel and worldwide.

42 Wellspring | April 2020

Stop your Hair Loss today, Before tomorrow it's too Late. The only way to keep your hair is to do something while you still have some.

Nameless.Team | 718.581.6274

Boost your hair. Making your hair stronger. Boost your hair. Making your hair stronger. Boost your hair.

Find it in your local Health Food Stores and Pharmacies. Lavenluv.com - 347.504.1212 Shop on Amazon.com & Walmart.com

Well Informed

Wealth of Health By Perel Lichtman

Conference

Leah Guttman with:

POSITION: Owner of Imbue

SERVICE: Essential Oils Massage Facility

LOCATION: Brooklyn, New York

SINCE: 2018

After many futile attempts to help her son who was diagnosed with PANDAS, Leah Guttman encountered an essential-oil massage-therapy treatment that finally brought an end to his symptoms. She has since been the messenger of healing for many others with various health conditions through her essential oils massage clinic.

44 Wellspring | April 2020

WHAT

WAS YOUR INTRODUCTION TO THE RAINDROP TECHNIQUE?

A couple of years ago, my son exhibited a host of alarming and disturbing symptoms. After months of running from doctor to doctor and therapist to therapist, he was finally diagnosed with PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcal infections), which is often misdiagnosed as Tourette’s syndrome or OCD.

After the diagnosis, we tried everything for our son, but nothing seemed to rid him of his uncharacteristic symptoms. Whatever did raise our hopes — if only temporarily — eventually failed. After a particularly draining day, Hashem led us to hear about the Raindrop Technique from another mother who had gone through something very similar with her own child.

WHAT

IS THE RAINDROP TECHNIQUE?

It’s a method of applying a combination of aromatherapy, massage techniques, and essential oils to the spine and sole of the foot. This technique was developed by Gary Young, an aromatologist and a leading expert in the

art and science of aromatherapy.

Hashem created the body as an amazing self-healing organism, which works when the body is given the right resources. While essential oils are not medication, they are an all-natural tool that help aid and support the body in its natural healing process.

WHAT

WAS THE CATALYST THAT LED TO YOUR CLINIC’S DEBUT?

In the two years after my son's ordeal came to a close, people from my community reached out to hear more about my experience and the successful treatment. They, too, were plagued with conditions that seemingly had no cure. That’s when I realized that there are so many people out there who are suffering alone and feeling hopeless. I made it my mission to let everyone know that there’s something out there that really, really helps. I hired experienced practitioners certified in the Raindrop Technique and opened a clinic.

FROM

WHAT ARE THE OILS DERIVED?

Essential oils are volatile aromatic liquids that are distilled from plants. The extracted oils embody the regenerating, oxygenating, and immune-strengthening properties of plants. Essential oils are very diverse in their effects and can perform several different functions. Some oils are antibacterial or antiviral, while others are antifungal, antimicrobial, antiseptic, and/ or antiparasitic.

THE TECHNIQUE EFFECTIVE FOR ALL AGES?

IT ONLY EFFECTIVE FOR PANDAS?

Yes, our clients range in age from 3 to over 60.

Because of our personal experience, we are very passionate about helping kids with PANDAS. But people come for all

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 45

Well Informed

Wealth of Health

types of medical conditions and we keep seeing tremendous success, baruch Hashem.

WHAT

OTHER CONDITIONS DID YOU TREAT WITH THE RAINDROP TECHNIQUE?

Someone recently came with kidney fatigue — her kidneys were only functioning at 70 percent. Doctors recommended surgery, which she wanted to avoid at all costs. She did the Raindrop Technique twice a week for one month. The doctors were surprised to see kidney function increase to 75 percent. There was no longer a need to go ahead with the surgery. Another condition we see quite often is Lyme disease. Unfortunately, with Lyme disease, many people still experience symptoms even after taking long courses of antibiotics. With the Raindrop Technique, their symptoms can permanently disappear.

HOW

DO YOU KNOW WHICH OILS TO SELECT FOR WHICH CLIENT?

We carefully review the client's medical history through our thorough intake forms, in addition to a digital scan.

IT’S ABOUT APPLYING THE OILS TO THE SOLE AND SPINE, WHY DON’T YOU SEND THE OILS HOME WITH THE PATIENT AND HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER MASSAGE THE OILS IN FOR THEM?

Our experienced practitioners are certified to perform the Raindrop Technique. Additionally, with over 150 different essential oils available, we create a custom set of specifically selected oils for each individual client based on their needs.

46 Wellspring | April 2020

WHAT ENTAIL?

DOES THE THERAPY

The technique involves dropping the oils directly onto the spine from about 6 inches above the body. The oils are then worked into the spine using light strokes, which stimulate energy impulses and disperse the oils along the nervous system throughout the body. The session is completed when the oils have been applied, which typically takes about 20 minutes.

WHAT

IS THE USUAL DURATION BETWEEN SESSIONS?

That depends on the reason for their visit. For a powerful immune booster, people can opt for once a month. For others, once or twice a week works. It also depends on the severity of the case.

THE

TECHNIQUE SOUNDS SIMILAR TO REFLEXOLOGY. IS IT?

No, it’s not about targeting reflex points.

AFTER

HOW MUCH TIME DOES A CLIENT USUALLY SEE RESULTS?

It's impossible to predict. This depends on multiple factors, including the severity and frequency of symptoms. Some begin seeing results after a month, others may need to continue treatment for 3–4 months until the transformation happens. The majority of our clients have observed improvements within the first month.

HOW

MUCH DOES A SESSION COST?

Sessions are priced at $100, which includes a free consultation.

WHERE

ARE YOU LOCATED?

Looking at her after two months, calm and composed, I found it unbelievable that she was the same girl we had welcomed just a few weeks before.

We have offices in Williamsburg and in Boro Park.

YOU PROVIDE IN-HOME SERVICES?

No. We only provide the service in the office.

HOW

EFFECTIVE IS THIS METHOD?

I would be comfortable saying that it is 95 percent effective.

A RECENT SUCCESS STORY.

One woman came to the clinic with her daughter who had no particular diagnosis, but exhibited pronounced ticks. She reacted very well to the treatments. Looking at her after two months, calm and composed, I found it unbelievable that she was the same girl we had welcomed just a few weeks before. Free of her spasms and twitches, she was a new child. We also recently treated a 4-year old with severe behavioral issues. He was so out of hand that his rebbi refused to allow him into class. We started him on a biweekly regimen. The change in him was noticeable immediately. We’re currently gradually weaning him off the treatments and we keep checking in with his mother about how he is feeling.

Another client was curious to try the Raindrop Method

to alleviate his digestive issues and acid reflux after futile attempts with medication. He tried this technique for one month, twice a week, and, baruch Hashem, he is doing well.

THIS DAY AND AGE, WHEN ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE IS GAINING TRACTION, WHAT ARE THE DOCTORS’ TAKE ON THIS? DO THEY ENDORSE OR OPPOSE THIS TECHNIQUE?

These oils are not alternative medicine, nor are they conventional medicine. They're complementary medicine. In fact, doctors approve of these oils. They are familiar with it and are willing to work along with it.

WITH

THE TECHNIQUE’S HIGH SUCCESS RATE, I AM SURE THERE IS A DEMAND IN OTHER LOCATIONS, TOO. IS PART OF YOUR PLAN TO EXPAND AND BRANCH OUT?

Absolutely. The response at our current locations has been overwhelmingly positive, and we feel privileged to be in a position to help so many. We are working on expanding, as our goal is to help as many people as we possibly can. Leah can be contacted through Wellspring.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 47

Living Well

In Good Shape By By Syma Kranz, PFC

THE ULTIMATE AT-HOME WORKOUT This Pesach, Turn Your Home into a Gym She’s in the tiny Pesach kitchen, contemplating whether or not to indulge in another slice of brownie cake. After all, she wasn’t at the gym all month anyway, so these few calories won’t make a difference to the added pileup. Just another one of the coronavirus effects. If this sounds like you, it’s a good thing you’re reading this now. You don’t need a gym to get an intense cardio workout. It’s actually possible for you to keep your metabolism stoked throughout Yom Tov from the comfort of your home! Follow these tips to burn calories and rev up your spirit — even while supervising the soup on your stove.

1 Maximize Your Daily Habits. Change a few daily habits to ensure you incorporate movement into your life. Slip into your sneakers and turn up the music to get yourself into the right mindset. Because you want to be more active, choose to do the chores you’d usually pass on to your cleaning help. Whether you’re washing the windows, vacuuming the floors, or scrubbing a tub, give it your all. By exerting physical energy and using as many muscles as possible, you’ll put your body into active mode. When you’re done, you may want to do some push-ups or squats until the end of the song!

48 Wellspring | April 2020

2 Indoor Action

Even if we have to stay indoors, we can get an effective walking workout done at home. If there’s a flight of stairs in your house, walk up and down repeatedly, several times every day. (Grab that basket of laundry on the way up!) This will help tone your legs and give you a low-impact aerobic session. Even walking briskly on a flat surface for ten minutes will do the job.

3 Anything Goes If you want to do weight exercises and don’t have weights at home, get creative! Start with something light in your pantry, like a can of beets, and work your way upward. Now you know why you have so many extra grape juice bottles in the storage closet.

Family Fitness

Turn your physical activity into a family activity. Especially with the kids home for this stretch of time, it’s important for them to stay active too. Turn up the music and dance with your kids. Do races across the playroom or dining room. These activities are not only an alternate workout, they provide you and your family with an excellent bonding experience. If you focus on not neglecting your fitness even on days when you’re too busy to get to the gym, you’ll realize that in only a few minutes, you can give yourself an excellent at-home workout. And when it comes to climbing up to the attic with your Pesach countertops after this beautiful Yom Tov, you’ll be the one to run up those stairs without losing your breath.

Rev it Up

If you’re in the mood of a higher intensity workout, here’s what you should do. To start, go for the jumping jacks. They’re great cardio exercises and help warm up your muscles. When you’re done with 100 of them, move on to push-ups. These are probably not the most favorite exercise for most people, but that’s exactly why they’re super-effective, especially for the arm and chest area. Do 20 of them in a way that works for you — on your knees, or against a wall. Next, do 20 leg lifts. Lying flat on your back with your legs stretched out in front of you, lift both legs up together, bending your knees if it’s too hard for you. This exercise really gets your abs working! Squats are a wonderful exercise for your lower body. Try doing 25 of them next. You can even do these by sitting down and standing up from a chair if it’s too difficult for you to do them in the air. As long as you’re able to do a few repetitions, you’ll be providing your body with some benefits.

Make It a Choice.

If you make a determined resolution to be more active, you will find the opportunities to do so even when the gym is closed. Choices like using the stairs instead of the elevator and walking instead of getting a ride (when you’re allowed to go outside) will end up making you feel much lighter, happier, and refreshed.

Know Your Numbers Although calorie-burning is only a side benefit of exercise, here may be another reason why you should maintain some kind of fitness regimen when you can’t hit the gym. Amount of calories a 130-pound woman burns when doing the following exercise for 10 minutes: aerobics, low impact 49 aerobics, high impact 69 cleaning, vigorous 29 dancing, fast 54 jumping jacks 82 jumping rope, fast 118

push-ups 79

running, in place 79

running, up stairs 147 sit-ups 79 yoga, 25

Syma Kranz, PFC, is a certified aerobics, Pilates, and Barre instructor, as well as the fitness director at Fusion Fitness in Lakewood, New Jersey. What started out as a small exercise class in her home catapulted into a popular gym that prides itself with tzanua, professional instructors and an appropriate atmosphere with lyric-free music and proper attire. Syma specializes in training women to integrate fitness into their busy lives, paying special attention to proper form and alignment and specializing in core and pelvic floor strengthening.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 49

Living Well

Ask the Nutritionist By Shani Taub, CDC

Quarantine Quandary

How to stop the constant mindless munching

Question: With more time spent at home than ever –and with no end in sight to this “home-sitting” the pantry has quickly become a source of comfort for me. Breakfast, lunch, and supper have turned into multi-course meals and a bag of popcorn accompanies me wherever I go (in my house, that is). My children too, are resorting to food to help them pass some time. Amid all this pandemonium and during the week of Pesach, how can I be more conscious of what I'm eating and help my family maintain their normal eating habits?

Shani’s response: I agree with you that this is a trying, challenging time for all of us, especially those who have been stricken with the virus. May Hashem continue giving us the stamina and energy for as long as we need it. I’m sure many readers can relate to your question, and I got lots of calls from clients who wanted guidance in dealing with this unique situation. Some skeptically asked if it’s possible to stick to a diet plan under such circumstances. My answer? A resounding yes! It's not always easy, but it's certainly possible. When everything around us has no schedule and there’s no semblance of structure, the best thing we can do is to hold onto the bit of structure we can create. Structure is the one word answer to your question. A structure is

50 Wellspring | April 2020

important for children and adults alike and helps us retain our sanity. Right at the start of this “vacation,” I outlined a basic schedule for myself and the children and then shared it with them. And in case you’re already skipping this article thinking I'm a supermom, no need to fret. The schedule didn’t include detailed mommy and children parsha lessons, or show n’ tells for Pesach. I just sketched a basic plan for the day, when the meals will be served, a range for bedtime, and so on. And I stick to it. Discipline is the key to normalcy during these times. In addition to the set meal times, I allotted two snacks to my children that they can choose to enjoy any time during the day. With a schedule in place, my children know when they will get their meals. They don’t go around noshing all day until they’re too stuffed to eat dinner. I also keep my house stocked with fruits and vegetables, since children will opt for that if that’s what they see, especially if

they’re cut up and ready to eat. On Pesach too, despite being more limited with fruits and vegetable variety, there are still plenty options to choose from. Certainly, parents deserve meal time too. Don’t skimp on your breakfast in order to get your day going. It will backfire. Sit down to three proper meals and prepare them as you would for a guest.

In addition to the structure it will provide in your day, a proper meal will give your body much-needed nutrients to work optimally throughout the day. On Yom Tov too, have your meals normally and serve yourself as you serve everyone else. It’s never too late for you to set up a schedule. Go for it, stick to it, and see how much of our deeds are a result of our thinking.

Face Masks For Restricted Eating? Better tips to keep the pantry out of reach If setting up a schedule doesn’t work for you, or you find that you’re having a hard time implementing it, here are three other tips to keep you from reaching for the food.

• Busting the Boredom Binge If eating is your idea of a solution to boredom, you may need to rewire your thinking in regards to this habit. Eating is not an occupation. If your children are engaging in this habit, help them choose a healthier, more productive form of entertainment. Make sure to be a role model of that which you preach!

• Fitness in Other Forms With so many of us locked up for hours, whether we were mandated to do so or because we are buried in our Pesach pans, moving is still crucial. If you don’t have time to do of-

ficial workouts, don’t. My little secret workout that I resort to in times like these is the simple jumping jacks. I do 150 of them in the morning, 150 in the afternoon and 150 more at night and I have filled my daily quota. Make it into a fun activity with your children and everyone will be in greater spirits afterwards.

• Pesach Preparation Along with all the other many tasks you have on your to-do list, you may want to create your Pesach food plan. I consider this plan of utmost importance in order to have a successful Yom Tov. With so many different foods, different schedules, and different options, it is almost inevitable that you will find yourself off kilter with your usual eating habits. That is, if you don’t plan. But this can be avoided if you set in place a concise, feasible food plan for all eight days.

Please send your questions to the nutritionist to info@wellspringmagazine.com. Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone. She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 51

Living Well

Feature

MY NEW LIFE

THE WHYS AND HOWS OF MAKING THE SWITCH TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE ROIZY BAUM

"DAUNTING, IMPOSSIBLE AND TOTALLY, TOTALLY NOT FOR ME." Is that what goes through your mind when contemplating the overhaul that switching to a healthy lifestyle would entail? These four people thought the same- until they took the leap. Hear about their challenges, triumphs and secrets.

Living Well

Feature

MEET US REBBETZIN S. FELDBRAND GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, GRANDMOTHER ETC. THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OF HEALTHY LIVING "IT'S A WORTHY CAUSE!"

YOSSI, AGE 26

KOLLEL YUNGERMAN, FATHER OF TWO 5 YEARS OF HEALTHY LIVING "TREAT YOUR BODY AS IF IT WAS A LUXURY CAR."

YOCHEVED ROSENGARTEN, AGE 32 TEACHER, MOTHER OF THREE 18 MONTHS OF SUGAR-FREE LIVING "WE DON'T FEEL LIKE WE'RE MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING!"

ESTI, AGE 33 WORKING MOTHER, MOTHER OF TWO 15 MONTHS OF HEALTHY LIVING "IT'S NOT SO DAUNTING!"

54 Wellspring | April 2020

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

YOSSI

All those years ago, we had new tenants moving in, and we were introduced to the world of macrobiotics. They successfully kept to a very strict macrobiotic diet. The only issue was that their son refused to follow their diet. Nothing could convince him to keep to macrobiotic; he only wanted chicken. After watching the mother struggle with her son, the two of us made a deal: I would cook an extra portion of chicken for her son, and she would send down a portion of her dinner for me to sample. The deal was sealed! Her son joined us for all our chicken dinners and I got my pescatarian supper. When I dug into my first prepared dinner, I just could not believe that parsnips and beans could be so tasty. It was one pescatarian supper and I was sold!

I can’t pinpoint my change to anything specific. Rather, it was a combination of a few factors, which eventually added up, and pushed me to make the decision to change. As a bochur, I suffered from acne and always had a very sensitive stomach. Additionally, I grew up in a houseful of girls and was always intrigued by the health fads my sisters kept trying. Although the fads kept changing (“yes caffeine, no caffeine”), the whole concept still sparked an interest. Additionally, at one point, my oldest sister developed allergies after the birth of a baby. Her body reacted terribly to most foods she consumed; water was basically the only thing she was able to stomach. When she switched over to a new diet, I followed along as to why her body did and didn’t agree to certain foods. That drastic change prompted me to delve into the science of the human body.

ESTI I was nursing a baby who kept shrieking for no apparent reason. Hollering was what he did best. My family from abroad literally panicked from hearing a three-week old making such sounds. It was almost unbearable. Left with no other option, I reached out to somebody for help. She linked my baby’s behavior to my food intake, and she had me overhaul my entire diet.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED THE CATALYST FOR MY LIFESTYLE CHANGE

YOCHEVED When I was expecting my third child, the doctor discovered very early on, in my first trimester, that I had gestational diabetes. (Most women only get tested in their third trimester.) I tried to keep the GD in check with only dietary changes, but this proved difficult due to another medical condition I was grappling with. After trying several different methods of keeping my resting blood sugars in line, my doctor finally prescribed insulin shots. During the pregnancy, save for a k’zayis of hamotzi on Shabbos, I completely cut sugar and carbs out of my diet. Once the baby was born, the GD went away, but my doctor warned me that if I wasn't careful, I had a statistically high chance of developing true diabetes within ten years. To put it mildly, that frightened me a lot. Instantly, I decided it was important not only to keep myself off sugar, but to take the rest of the family off sugar along with me. The fact that both my husband and I have family members with diabetes only strengthened my resolve.

Until then, I’d been eating mindlessly, and believed the only thing I should be avoiding was fat. I thought, eat fat and be fat. I considered fat to be the most unhealthy, and sugar, somehow, was never an issue. Today, after studying health and nutrition, I believe sugar is the absolute worst for one’s body.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 55

Living Well

Feature

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND I never looked back, but I did make accommodations along the way for my kids. My goal was to educate them so that they would make better choices. I taught them to read labels early on, and I continue to do that with my grandchildren. In fact, at one point, I was so distressed by their poor eating habits that I offered money to any one of my grandchildren who would stick to a diet I prepared for them for one year. The list was distributed, and I would often get calls if A or B was permitted (mainly from school celebrations). I would like to believe that the effects are long term. When my older ones were young, I was able to maintain my kind of standards. I remember how shocked my daughter was when she encountered "white" lukshen. But later on, it became too difficult to fight outside influences. To aid that, I let the kids choose the main

course. What I prepared for the soups and vegetable side dishes, though, were my preference. Everyone had to have some vegetable, but it didn't necessarily have to be what I had prepared. Some things were non-negotiable: whole grain, and baking, not frying, Stevia wasn't around in those days, so I used the better sugars like rice syrup, maple syrup, and honey. Also, I sneaked in nutrition wherever I could. For me, knowledge was power, but for the kids, ignorance was bliss (I don't think they ever knew that a lot of the stuff they were eating was really healthy). As soon as we married off all our children, we went back to our completely healthy lifestyle.

YOSSI

THE NEW ME HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE SWITCH

My changeover was very gradual. Once I started eating healthily, I started figuring out how my body works. The correlations amazed me — to realize what causes this, what’s a catalyst for that. In a way, it made me feel more in control over my body. Of course, I know that only Hashem is in control, but I’ve come to realize that my choices have an effect on my body, and I’m in control over its safekeeping.

YOCHEVED It sounds pretty drastic, especially for kids, but actually, it's a blessing. And once you get the hang of it, it's pretty doable.

ESTI A part of me feels I wish I don’t know so much information. Why do I have to know about all the garbage my daughter consumes when she eats the school lunches? At times, ignorance is bliss. Then again, the other part of me feels grateful for the tremendous gift from Hashem. Knowing that if you eat right, you can feel so much better, is something I do not take for granted. I also feel a sense of accomplishment that I managed to change my lifestyle. Six years ago, my husband was diagnosed with celiac disease. He needed to go off gluten cold-turkey. I remember

56 Wellspring | April 2020

thinking then, if it would be me, I would just be sick. I would never be able to have the self-control. But now, gaining control over my diet proved to me that I do have some of the control. Furthermore, once you have awareness, you don’t return to your old habits. I used to live on iced coffee; now when I see others sipping it, I think of it as a cup of junk with drugs in it. “Coffee is not any different than heroin. It’s only a milder form,” said my practitioner who eased me onto my current diet.

OUT WHAT I CUT OUT OF MY DIET

ESTI

YOSSI

I cut out all raw vegetables, dairy, sugar, corn, and soy. Even when I was off dairy, milk was the one exception. Now I’m also off milk, and save for the 72% chocolate, I don’t touch chocolate.

Two things I never touch are margarine and corn syrup. That automatically eliminates a lot of food. Last week, someone asked me if I don’t have a ta’avah to eat a rugelah made with margarine. “To me,” I said, “it looks like a truck tire, rubber.” When you know how margarine is made, you instinctively stay far from it.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

YOCHEVED

It was more about adding than cutting. I come from a Hungarian background.There were numerous vegetable and grains that I’d never encountered.

I cut out sugar and any packaged product that has sugar in it. We also try to steer clear of recipes that require honey or maple syrup, because those spike the blood sugar just as much as table sugar.

YOSSI

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

This lifestyle leads me to make most of my foods from scratch. Our Shabbos guests know that 90 percent of what they’re served is homemade. Being that my wife doesn’t love the kitchen, I do most of the cooking. By making our own bread (usually sourdough), keeping our carbs low and minimizing cereal, we basically have a good handle on our nutrition.

We enjoy lots of vegetables (cooked and raw), fish, some turkey, grains, and almond milk (I’m lactose intolerant). I eat an organic apple just about every day but generally do not care for fruit. We eat only whole grains and include lots of quinoa and kasha in our menu.

Breakfast is cereal; lunch is eggs or tuna and sourdough bread; dinner is chicken, a soup and a vegetable. We believe in consuming lots of healthy fats, including butter, so we smear thin slices of bread generously with butter.

ESTI I eat chicken three times a day — for breakfast, lunch, and supper. I also eat lots of cooked vegetables, homemade spelt sourdough bread, and fermented vegetables which I also make at home. I don’t have much to work with as my family is super fussy. Whatever I make needs to taste as good as the real (unreal?), unhealthy thing!

YOCHEVED I put an emphasis on protein and healthy fats. We eat full-fat dairy, butter, and hard cheese in moderation, as well as olive oil. I personally try to avoid carbs of all kinds — bread, rice, pasta — even whole-grain varieties, but for my family, I just de-emphasize the carbs. So, before my kids can have a plate of macaroni and cheese, they need to eat some tuna patties or an omelet, etc.

IN WHAT I DO EAT

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 57

Living Well

Feature

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND We use stevia.

YOSSI My wife uses stevia, but I don’t love the taste of it, so I use xylitol.

ESTI

SUGAR SUB HOW I SWEETEN MY FOOD

I rarely sweeten my cooking, but I sometimes use coconut sugar, and a bit of raw honey here and there. For cookies, almond biscotti, and sourdough rugelach, I use coconut sugar.

YOCHEVED Once you stop eating sugar, the need for sweetness decreases. As time goes on, you don't feel the urge to sweeten everything like you once did. That said, I use stevia drops — which are made of only stevia — in tea, coffee, and even in baked goods. My local health-food store once carried erythritol, and I very happily bought a few boxes, but when I needed a refill, they said it was no longer available. That was over a year ago now. Another way to sweeten foods are dates (you don't need too many and it's easy to mask the flavor!). Other fruits also make for fabulous sweeteners. I don't use fruit juice, though, only real fruit. Think along the lines of baked apples and poached pears. Regarding vegetables, sweet potatoes and carrots are also naturally sweet. One example of a subtle change we implemented with sweetening our food is that instead of a can of mandarin oranges,

58 Wellspring | April 2020

we just peel our own clementine segments to add to salads. I taught my kids to love dried fruits. Today, dried cranberries is my son’s favorite snack. Just be wary your dried fruit doesn't have added sugar. Sometimes dried fruit can be laden with so much sugar — it puts candies to shame! Additionally, I rely heavily on cinnamon and vanilla extract, because although they aren't sweet, the flavors have a strong relationship with sweet things and our minds are easily tricked. Another thing that's allowed is dark chocolate, 85 percent cocoa or more. A cube or two of this chocolate grated into a bowl of plain full-fat yogurt is delicious, especially if you add a drop of cinnamon or a handful of slivered almonds. It becomes almost like a dessert. My kids love it too.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

YOSSI

YOCHEVED

Once you take care of one aspect of your health, you automatically become aware of your surroundings and take care of other factors, too. I exercise religiously and I’m more careful about taking vitamins. I don’t have an inclination to do unhealthy things like smoking, keeping crazy sleep schedules, or not exercising — since I’d feel so unintelligent doing so. My appreciation as to how complex Hashem created our bodies was enhanced as well.

Making the switch opened up whole new avenues of discussion with my kids. We often have dinner conversations about topics like why we need to eat, what’s the smartest way to eat, and what does food do inside of us. Each meal is an opportunity to talk, explain, let the kids ask questions, and also to allow them to make decisions.

One thing is for sure, healthy living definitely made a dent in my bank account.

RIPPLE EFFECTS

Heart.works

It feels great to eat what’s good for me, both from a ruchniyus and gashmiyus perspective. I am the same weight (give or take two three pounds) since I got married.

HOW THE SWITCH AFFECTED OTHER ASPECTS OF MY LIFE

ESTI I’m extremely busy in the kitchen, much busier than I ever was. On a humorous note, when I feel the need to treat myself, food is not the first treat that comes to mind. There are so many other options out there!

For those with higher standards.℠

Living Well

Feature

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND The hardest was getting my kids on board. Second to hardest was mastering macrobiotic cooking, but that was easily solved. I took some macrobiotic cooking lessons years ago to master cooking with ingredients I was highly unfamiliar with.

ESTI

YOSSI

I still miss a good, crunchy salad. Sometimes I succumb to my cravings. And yes, last week, when I was planning my Shabbos menu, I decided to include a raw-ingredient salad on the menu for myself as a treat.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two things that don’t get easier with time. I’ve found that the peer pressure when you’re around other people eating doesn’t get simpler, especially when people think I’m being extreme and rhetorically ask “You think you’ll live longer than us?” Comments like these are not very encouraging.

It’s also a challenge not to get carried away. If you’re going to check off all the boxes, you won’t be left with anything to eat. You can’t really be an extremist — everyone has different definitions, I know, but you need to try your best and then leave the rest. I know it’s not perfect, but I know I’m doing my bit.

BY THE SWEAT OF MY BROW THE GREATEST CHALLENGE WHEN MAKING THE SWITCH

It also gets tough when you’re stuck without food and your only option is a vending machine. Not having a supply of food with you can pose as a huge challenge.

YOCHEVED We aim to develop a healthy relationship with unhealthy foods. I find it very challenging to figure out how to address the mountains of sugar and nosh that kids are exposed to on a daily basis. On one hand, we didn't want the kids to feel cheated or different; but we didn't want that kind of sugar in their systems. In the end, after lots of discussions, we came up with a tally system. Every time a child comes home with a nosh that has sugar in it, he gets to make a decision. Does he want to save it for Shabbos, when he’ll be allowed to eat it, or does he want to exchange it for a tally? (More often than not, my kids pick the second option.) Once they accumulate a large amount of tallies, we take a trip to the toy store. They get a budget and are allowed to spend it as they see fit. The best part of this system

60 Wellspring | April 2020

is its flexibility — a kid can decide to only eat half a nosh and get half a tally. On Shabbos, we let the kids have sweet drinks, but only a set number over the whole weekend. This way, they get to decide how much sugar they put in their bodies — and it's not me, the parent, forcing my food philosophy on them. They don't feel as if they're missing out. Sometimes, if we go out to eat, the kids ask "Are we counting cups?” and my answer depends on the situation. As far as nosh in the house, we buy chips, Bamba, and other nosh that doesn’t have sugar in it. I also bake stevia-sweetened cakes.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

GET MOVING

Between walking outdoors or on my treadmill, I keep my feet quite busy.

MY EXERCISE ROUTINE

ESTI I live and breathe Pilates. It really keeps me in check!

YOSSI I play ball once a week, and also do heavy house aerobics to keep me in shape. Additionally, I choose to walk instead of driving or taking taxis and buses.

YOCHEVED I don't have a routine. I try to walk to wherever I'm going, especially up the stairs. Living in Eretz Yisrael, with its hills and mountains, automatically demands more physical activity — or at least I like to believe so.

ESTI My baby is thriving, bli ayin hara. The first time in his life that he was a bit sick was last week. He got through most of the winter with barely a sniffle. And me? I’ve never felt so energetic in my entire life. Lately, I juggle loads on my own due to my husband’s (new) hectic schedule and I believe it’s thanks to my healthy eating that I’m functioning amazingly well.

YOSSI

REAPING THE FRUIT THE RESULTS OF MY INVESTMENT

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND Junk food doesn’t really talk to me. Isn’t that amazing? Additionally, people say that I look far younger than my age. I know youthful skin is genetic, but I definitely give credit to my healthy eating, too.

YOCHEVED Most of the time, my family is sugar-free. I'm confident that this change is making an important impact on our overall health, especially on our relationship with food.

I’m knowledgeable. Although I’m fully aware that Hashem is the One in charge, I feel good that my selfcontrol has a positive impact on my body. Oftentimes, people who are in control over one aspect in their life have (positive) control in other areas as well. For example, since I started gaining control over my nutrition, whenever I set any other goal, I find I’m more capable of persevering until the end. Being in charge makes me a stronger person. It’s an unbelievable result.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 61

Living Well

Feature

YOCHEVED How about a favorite sugar-free dessert? This recipe, from Kosher.com, is my kids' favorite summer treat, though we make it in the winter, too! In a food processor or blender, blend coconut milk, dates, cocoa powder, vanilla, and cashew butter â&#x20AC;&#x201D; although I've substituted almond butter or whatever nut butter I had on hand without anyone noticing the difference. Spoon into shot glasses and stick in a colorful mini popsicle stick. Freeze. When ready to serve, run the cup under cold water to break the suction and serve with the cup. My kids love it â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but it's not just them! I served the pops at our family Chanukah party and everyone, adults and kids alike, loved them.

YOSSI

GOOD STUFF MY FAVORITE HEALTHY FOOD

I love quinoa.

ESTI Sourdough bread.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND I enjoy broccoli.

YOSSI

TOOLBOX MY FAVORITE KITCHEN GADGET

I enjoy a good, sharp knife. Nothing beats cutting a cucumber in a few seconds flat.

ESTI I love my cookie scoop. I use it for chicken balls, tuna cutlets and, you guessed it, cookies.

YOCHEVED I use my food processor very often. I make tons of stuff (like those pops) with it! It's also great for slicing, chopping, and blending.

62 Wellspring | April 2020

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND One of the images I still use when I think about the effects of unhealthy consumption is to visualize my arteries filling with plaque if I’d eat something unhealthy. My choices are part of keeping myself healthy.

YOSSI

YOCHEVED

When people ask me how to start, I advise them to avoid processed carbs, high fructose corn syrup, and margarine.

Start small. For example, in the beginning, we stepped away from sugar but still used honey/silan/ maple syrup as a crutch. As time went on, we slowly gave up each one. “Tafasta meruba, lo tafasta.”

FROM EXPERIENCE MY ADVICE TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE SWITCH

ESTI Just do it! Also, it’s crucial to find someone who you trust to guide you. You can’t start cutting out everything without replacing it with nutritious food. I was once told by a professional, “For every item you cut out, find something to replace it with.” I didn’t take this totally literally, but you get the gist of it.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

TINY STEP FORWARD ONE SMALL CHANGE I WOULD ADVISE TO SOMEONE WHO'S NOT READY TO TAKE THE LEAP

Keep the changes as small as possible. Replacing sugar with stevia powder is my idea of a small change. Alternately, eating yucca instead of potatoes once a week is another baby step. Keep making additional small changes, slow and steady, every week. Another small but big step is to learn to make a good low-calorie salad dressing. Why drown healthy, delicious vegetables in a sugary and fattening dressing?

YOSSI

ESTI

Even a small change, like cutting out margarine, is a large change! Without realizing, a small change ends up germinating into something huge. Eventually, eating certain junk while staying away from others becomes an oxymoron. Drinking coke while skipping margarine is weird. Once you eat healthy, even if only a bit, you will have second thoughts when it comes to unhealthy eating. One small change leads to greater changes.

I’d recommend starting with eating sourdough bread, or even just fermented sauerkraut. It’s loaded with health benefits and extremely easy to make.

YOCHEVED Drink water. Sugary drinks are awful, and even diet drinks that don't have sugar are loaded with sweeteners that metabolize just like sugar in the body. Even flavored water is better than juice, soda, and diet soda. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 63

Living Well

Feature

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND I know the health aspects of coffee are extremely controversial, but I still drink a cup of coffee in the morning.

YOCHEVED After reading that too much dairy could stall weight loss, I should really reduce the amount of dairy I eat. But I love dairy.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND I strongly recommend the book “Am I My Body’s Keeper?” by Michael Kaufman. I bought extra copies for my children.

YOSSI

NEVER PERFECT

I would love to master organic eating, but as of now, my budget doesn’t allow for it.

ONE ASPECT OF HEALTHY LIVING I HAVEN'T MASTERED YET

ESTI I can’t imagine life without coffee.

ESTI I don’t have anyone. I do what works for me.

YOSSI I admire my wife’s self-control. I have yet seen her eat a piece of cake since our wedding. She has rock-solid control over her intake; she never falls back. It is thanks to me that she follows this lifestyle, but ironically, she is my role model.

I ADMIRE MY ROLE MODEL IN HEALTHY LIVING

YOCHEVED I look to my grandmother as my role model. She's a fount of helpful advice, recipes, and just general wisdom and encouragement. I'm very grateful to have her beside me on this journey. 64 Wellspring | April 2020

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

TO THE RESCUE

I lean towards dark chocolate and dried fruit. Also, I like plain organic mango.

YOSSI

WHAT I TURN TO WHEN THE CRAVINGS KICK IN

I’ll eat sugar-free chocolate. When I’m craving a carb, I eat a cracker. I barely have cravings; I eat because I’m hungry.

ESTI I like 72% percent chocolate. Occasionally, I munch on a sourdough rugelah.

YOCHEVED I start off with a cold drink, because often, cravings are a sign of dehydration. If that doesn't do the trick, I take a square or two of dark chocolate. Although it seems like just a bit, if you suck on it, or better yet, shave it into some plain yogurt, the fat fills you up in a healthy way. I find the cravings subside fairly quickly. Also, as time passes, the cravings don't strike nearly as often as they did when we first started. Without sugar in our diets, we are no longer meshubad to its demands.

REBBETZIN FELDBRAND

YOSSI

ESTI

Whatever changes you implement, I wish you lots of hatzlachah. It’s a worthy cause.

If you’d just look at your body like a car, and realize that it will drive according to how you fuel it, you will inevitably want to take really good care of yourself. Things are always happening in our bodies without us even noticing. It’s a slow process, deterioration happens imperceptibly. Feeling great doesn’t mean you’re doing great. You need to invest now for many years down the line. It’s worth starting the fight early on!

If and when you’re ready to make the change, I’m here to help you. I’ll show you it’s not so daunting.

GET THIS A MESSAGE I'D LIKE TO IMPART TO THE READERS

On a different note, if it’s not a family project, it’s very hard to maintain such a lifestyle. It's important for the entire family to be on board for it to be sustainable. The biggest mistake we make is when our lifestyle becomes a diet. Why? A diet is often broken and then restarted. If it’s a lifestyle, you don’t restart it, you live it.

YOCHEVED Eating healthy isn't just about losing weight — though I won’t deny that I've done that too since giving up carbs! My yardstick for healthy eating is: Would my great-grandparents have recognized this food? Would they have considered it healthy?

Note: Wellspring does not promote or endorse the precise details of the lifestyle mentioned by the interviewees. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 65

Living Well

At the Dietitian By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

Cop-Out Diagnosis:

Subclinical Hypothyroidism Many individuals who struggle with various physical symptoms will, at some point in their lives, be slapped with what I named a “cop-out diagnosis.” This is a diagnosis they’ve received without being offered any treatment plan. In this series, I discuss underlying reasons for each of these “conditions,” as well as possible treatment plans.

Thyroid disease is an epidemic. A whopping 15% of individuals experience some degree of thyroid dysfunction, with 4% to 5% experiencing overt hypothyroidism; and as much as up to 10–15% of individuals displaying subclinical hypothyroidism, in which TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone) may be elevated, but T4 (thyroxine) hormone is in the normal range. Because thyroid hormones essentially affect every cell in our body, hypothyroidism has a broad range of symptoms. While in many cases, hypothyroidism gets treated, with the underlying issues addressed through a functional medicine perspective, subclinical hypothyroidism is often overlooked. In fact, I find that when individuals complain of the symptoms mentioned below, they are often given the term as a cop-out diagnosis, with no actual efforts at treatment or improvement of their situation.

66 Wellspring | April 2020

Leora, 33 years old, mother of six children, exhibited symptoms of classic hypothyroidism, such as fatigue, constipation, spotting, unexplained weight gain, and difficulty losing weight when dieting. Bloodwork brought up a subclinical hypothyroidism, which her doctor wanted to monitor, but he did not recommend treatment. Being that she had been seeing me for weight loss, which was moving slower than typical, she was interested in understanding how she could improve her thyroid function by addressing any underlying possible causes. I had Leora repeat the test to include thyroid antibodies. The results showed that they were elevated, confirming that this was possibly the beginning of an autoimmune thyroid condition called Hashimoto’s, as is the case in 90% of thyroid disease. In order to address it, we needed to approach it from a multifactorial angle

that addressed diet, stress, sleep, gut health, and exposure to toxins. Although she claimed she wasn’t stressed and that she managed her responsibilities calmly, she admitted that she was juggling a lot — between her family, part time job, volunteer/community work, and a difficult baby. Sleep was often sacrificed, and after averaging it out after keeping a weekly log, she realized that she was only getting roughly five-and-a-half to six-and-a-half hours nightly. And although she genuinely tried to eat healthily, and her diet consisted mostly of whole grains, she was often lacking in her intake of fruits and vegetables due to her grab-and-go lifestyle. She also tended to indulge on processed junk food in the afternoon, as she got busy and overwhelmed, although she had improved on that recently due to her attempts to lose weight. Because a process called oxidative stress plays a role in the development of both inflammation and hypothyroidism, it made sense to start working on that. Oxidative stress is linked to a lot of the habits that Leora had fallen into, including eating a lot of highly refined and processed oils and refined flour and sugar, not exercising enough, exposure to environmental toxins like heavy metals and BPA, not sleeping enough, and a high-stress lifestyle. While she had her work cut out for her, we started by taking

baby steps — such as removing all processed fats, a temporary removal of gluten for three to six months to improve her gut function, including only fermented forms of dairy such as yogurt, and limiting exposure to plastics in her food storage and cooking. She also increased her average nightly sleep by 30–45 minutes nightly, and made sure to find time for exercise twice weekly. Because selenium and iodine are crucial for thyroid function, we increased her dietary intake of these essential minerals through a food-based approach. At the six-week mark, her TSH had dropped three-quarters of a point. While Leora was discouraged, I was excited to see a drop, as thyroid disease often progresses rather than reverses. At the fourmonth mark, both levels were in the normal range. Leora reported feeling increased energy, the pace of her weight loss increased, and she felt better than she had in years. We slowly reintroduced very small amounts of gluten, and at the one-year mark, her bloodwork is still fine. While thyroid hormone replacement is often needed in extreme thyroid dysfunction cases, it is encouraging to know that borderline cases such as subclinical hypothyroidism can sometimes be addressed through a functional medicine approach.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE is a highly acclaimed and experienced registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator. She maintains a busy nutrition practice with offices in Lakewood and Edison, and via phone/skype to numerous international clients, specializing in balanced and sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune and gastrointestinal issues. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website: www.thegutdietitian.com. Follow her @gutdietitian. Write to Tamar at tamar@thegutdietitian.com to join her whatsapp group for weekly gut health lectures.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 67

Living Well

Cover Feature

Condition of Tradition On the Yom Tov of vâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;higadeta lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;vincha, when families gather around to drink from the wisdom of their patriarchs (under normal circumstances), we celebrate the rich heritage that has been transmitted from generation to generation. But what is it like to have an illness or medical condition as part of the family legacy?

Three family accounts (Based on true stories)

Living Well

Cover Feature

Like Father, Like Son We were diagnosed with heart disease on the same day Shalom Rosenthal, father I discovered that we have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy in our genes after Yossi, my second son, became unwell at the young age of 25. We were up in the mountains, spending Shabbos Nachamu in our Swan Lake home with Yossi, his wife Chaya Suri, and their two adorable kids. On Sunday, I willingly handed my car keys to Yossi as he finalized the details of a hike at Bear Mountains with a few of his childhood friends.

I was explained that it’s definitely possible to have a “faulty gene” that can lead to a heart condition, but you yourself may never develop any signs or symptoms of the condition itself, or as in my case, you may exhibit the symptoms after your child does. A lack of symptoms does not prevent that gene from being passed down to your children, and there’s no way of knowing how it may affect them.

But later in the evening, he claimed his chest felt heavy. Chaya Suri suggested they walk near the lake for some fresh air, but when there were no sign of improvement, my wife Blimi gave him indigestion tablets and he went to bed.

That year, in 2013, I was put onto medication. An appointment for an ICD, which also has a pacemaker function, was scheduled.

Upon his return, Yossi rated his hike with five stars. “The view. The thrill. The weather. The loop hike climbs Bear Mountain on the Major Welch Trail and descends on the Appalachian Trail — we covered the whole thing, while passing a number of gorgeous views! It was exhilarating!”

Around midnight, he knocked on our bedroom door and said he didn’t feel well at all. My wife and I went out to the kitchen, and while Yossi was talking to me, he said he was completely sapped and just dropped onto the couch. Hatzolah suggested we take him straight to Orange Regional, about a 40-minute drive, where he remained overnight, attached to heart monitors. I remained at his side, while Blimi and Chaya Suri stayed behind to look after the kids.

In the morning, the doctor came to break the news to us: Yossi has a heart condition called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). In layman’s terms, it’s a condition in which a portion of the heart becomes thickened without an obvious cause. This results in the heart being less able to pump blood effectively. Symptoms vary from none to feeling tired, leg swelling, and shortness of breath.

Since, as the doctor noted, HCM is an inherited condition, I took a blood test as well. The results confirmed that I am the carrier of the faulty gene. Upon hearing that other family members may have it too, I was devastated. It was extremely distressing to learn that I had passed down a gene for a heart condition I myself didn’t know I had. I understood that this was all from the Ribono Shel Olam and not my own doing, but the words “You’re the carrier” hit me hard. 70 Wellspring | April 2020

Interestingly enough, shortly thereafter, I started to experience symptoms of my own. Climbing the stairs left me panting and struggling for breath. My son and I had a shared passion for hikes, but they were suddenly impossible. Some mornings I was so dizzy, I couldn’t get out of bed. A hike at Grand Canyon had been on my bucket list, but it was crossed off with a bold, black line.

After these treatments, improvement was noticeable. I was feeling a whole lot better. But after a few months, the dizziness returned and I was literally bedbound. Additional medical and surgical treatments failed, too.

In the winter of 2018, with a heavy heart, my name was added to the urgent heart transplant list. This treatment is reserved for people whose condition hasn't improved enough with medications or other surgeries. And unfortunately, I fit the bill perfectly. The act of adding my name to the list really brought home the weightiness of my situation. Having the heart of a stranger pump my own blood was unimaginably shattering, but because I wanted to live, to be around to reap the nachas of my generations, I was left with no choice. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long. Two weeks after I received the long-awaited phone call about the available heart, my donor’s heart was sewn into the cavity the organ implanted with His Hands had occupied until then.

After the surgery, which was baruch Hashem successful, I could not stop crying. For 58 years, I took my thumping heart for granted. Where was I all those years when my heart never missed a beat, pumping blood throughout my body every second of the day? I needed the implantation of a new organ — my heart — to open a totally different one — my eyes.

Yossi Rosenthal, son "You’re a spitting image of your father. The way your eyes crinkle when you smile and the hint of crow’s feet spreading at the corners of your eyes, you look exactly like him when he grins."

My smile attracts comments like this wherever I go. Whoever knows my father really appreciates our striking similarities, which includes our passion for hiking. And anyway, who doesn’t love to talk about the traits that are passed from generation to generation? Red hair? He got that from Zeide. And that sense of humor? Saba would’ve enjoyed hearing a near-recording of his own jest.

However, when it comes to more serious concerns such as heart disease, we like to believe that lifestyle habits are the cause. And while this is sometimes the case, there are other times when genes are the reason, passed down from parent to child just like the grin, red hair, or sense of humor. Certain heart diseases are among the many maladies that can be passed down genetically. Your grandfather had it, your father has it, and later on, it’s very likely that you’ll develop it. In my case, it seems that I’ve inherited more than just my externals from my father. Ironically, my father and I were diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) on the exact same day. To date, HCM is not a death sentence. It’s a treatable disease compatible with normal longevity and normal quality of life. Treatment is very much in the hands of the patient. By living a healthy lifestyle, staying fit, and avoiding activities that can compromise their condition, to a certain extent, the patient has the ability to protect his health. The invention of the implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD), which I currently live with, is a true lifesaver. It’s a small battery-powered device placed in the chest that monitors the heart and detects dangerously abnormal heart rhythms. While using an ICD does not reverse heart disease or alter a gene, it does reduce the risk of cardiac arrest.

running down — even before you yourself can detect any changes. And when the ICD or battery require replacement, the replacement procedure is surgical but less involved than the original implantation procedure. The only downside I can think of is the shrill ring of the metal detectors in the airport, which is sometimes followed by an interrogation in a secluded, dark room. When I remember to inform the screener about it beforehand, I spare myself that trouble.

Before I had my ICD fitted, my palpitations were really bad. Imagine your heart racing as if you have just done a hundred-mile sprint. That’s how I felt after just taking a few steps. Each heartbeat was like a stab in my chest.

HCM is not life-altering. All normal activities may be performed; I can lead a productive and successful life. I have a busy schedule, and I successfully manage to squeeze in work, learning, and my roles as a father, husband, and son. Or so I like to believe. My father is a bit more restricted, as he must take it easy after his transplant. He worries about me plenty though, and as much as he knows it’s not his doing, it appears he harbors the teeniest bit of guilt. I sometimes wonder if having a family member in the same boat makes it easier. Maybe, maybe not. Believe me, I fervently hope I do not pass on this faulty gene to any of my children.

People always ask me if I’m afraid I’ll need a heart transplant. Obviously, this is something I’m trying to prevent at all costs. With Hashem’s help, research and hishtadlus can play a part in helping me avoid it.

The battery lasts for five to seven years, and doctors use a special analyzer to detect the first warning signs that the batteries are

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 71

Living Well

Cover Feature

Different, But the Same The “Shackling But Liberating” Autism Label

Gittie Ledereich Spotting their similarities is almost a brainteaser. When you’d encounter all the boys, you’d have a hard finding that one thing they all have in common. But they do. My three brothers, two nephews, and my own son are all autistic. I don’t mean autistic as in a bit spaced out or unsocial. I mean real diagnoses. All of them. That means that just about all the boys I’ve ever known are autistic. In fact, when my own son was displaying peculiar, unmanageable behaviors, I just shrugged and dismissed it, thinking that this is how boys behave. My brothers didn’t get proper diagnoses until much later on, and therefore I simply grew up knowing that boys are a bit quirky, difficult to deal with, and unpredictable.

Truthfully, I don’t know much about the medical part. I don’t know how to counteract that which many people argue about the hereditary aspect of autism, but I do know our reality. The reality is that our family name is carried by autistic boys only.

I certainly tried getting to the bottom of this issue, but with the encouragement and guidance of a genetic specialist in the Jewish community, I opted for “ignorance.” As Yidden, we know that there isn’t much to do with any knowledge we discover. We will continue to accept every precious child Hashem bestows us with, and we will continue to be proud of the children Hashem chooses to place in our family. Although it’s many years since we discussed the testing, I can still clearly hear the genetic specialist saying to us, “Aren’t we all a bit autistic? Don’t we all have some idiosyncrasies? So they have some more.” He also gave us tremendous chizuk by telling us that not every neshamah is destined to get married, and there’s a greater reason for that. The interesting point about autism, however, is that no two children are alike (and not all types of autism are genetic). My brothers have their own struggles, my sister deals with other things with her

72 Wellspring | April 2020

sons, and I have a different story with my own son. Each one of our boys has his own set of idiosyncrasies, strong and weak points, and character traits. Each one of our boys is on a different level of the autism spectrum, and therefore, relating to each other’s challenges is not always feasible.

But despite their variances, something ties them all together. They are “different.” But aren’t we all? Our family has learned to embrace their peculiarities, almost to a point where we can enjoy them. We’re in it together; we helped each other get through all the legalities until we were able to obtain the proper diagnosis. We researched the best schools for one another. Together, we joined a group for parents with autistic children, to get support and encouragement.

Autism has taught me very early on — I was barely 20 when my son was born — to turn inwards, to set myself and my family on a unique path. When we had just two children, we celebrated our Pesach Seder at home since my son doesn’t behave too well in public — to put it mildly. I don’t go to my parents often since I know it’s painful for them to see the “autism gene” transmitted onward, but I know my parents are proud with the way my sister and I deal with the situation. I have long surrendered to the will of Hashem. That’s the only way we can live a serene and calm life. I don’t know how my other boys will turn out. I don’t know how many more diagnoses our family will need to obtain. I don’t know if people will be nervous to marry my children, or if our “name” is tainted. But I do know that nothing is up to us. I do know that Hashem is controlling my life and not I. I thank Him for every one of my other angelic children (girls, all of them) and daven to see nachas from all of my children.

Yehuda Perlowitz, Gittie’s brother Being labelled “autistic” is shackling, yet liberating. On one hand, it’s almost a repulsive word to be associated with, yet on the other hand, it’s a relief to know that my brain is actually wired differently than others, and it’s not just that I have “a difficult personality” — as I was called until recently. You might be surprised how I can express myself so easily, how I can voice my opinion so clearly. But the truth is that autism is not a one-size-fits-all label. In fact, many of them do look normal, at least most of the time.

Personally, I only received my proper diagnosis in my twenties, after having gone through a “regular” youth. I’m not saying that my rebbeim always had an easy time with me; it wasn’t that no one ever suspected something was amiss. It was rough. It wasn’t easy to get along with people, especially the more annoying ones. I did manage to coast along socially, and I guess that’s why it took me such a long time to be diagnosed: a lack of social skills is autism’s classic profile. But I just couldn’t maintain closer relationships; my chemistry just didn’t allow me to. I flared up too often, everything was a nuisance, and my attention span lasted a mere few seconds. Of course these symptoms are not always an indication of autism, but in my case they were.

I don’t know much about the autism in my family. I know my younger brothers obtained a diagnosis too, but they’re so different than me. It’s hard for me to believe that we can even get the same label. Tully is so quiet, usually in his own world. Baruch, ever since I know him, does interesting, peculiar stuff, like lining up his possessions in neat rows. He also can’t follow through with a conversation like everyone else can. He considers himself smarter than the rest of us, which could be true since he has a photographic memory. I guess we all have our peculiarities.

Gittie’s son, whose bar mitzvah is coming up now, also received a diagnosis of autism. I guess it is a family thing. That boy is all over the place. All the time. I remember when he was barely two and doing really crazy stuff. He can also do some really dangerous stuff. I once heard my sister say it’s because he doesn’t feel pain, since his pain nerves don’t work as well as those of other people.

It’s not easy, but my family is always smiling and always positive. They’re great. Despite my circumstances, I really hope to get married soon. Currently, I'm living on my own, and I'm managing beautifully, though I do believe it’s time for me to build a home and raise my own family.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 73

Living Well

Cover Feature

The Lump Her mother left her many gifts, but the cancer gene was transmitted too

Shaindy Klein, a”h, mother Sweet, beloved, Chaim’l, let me share with you a bit of what your young mind is not capable of remembering. When I discovered I was expecting you, I was overjoyed. With four healthy, lechtige kinderlach home, I felt immensely fortunate to be gifted once again. Hashem is so good to us. Totty had just completed his degree in accounting and had joined Feldman and Co., and thanks to the generous income, we finally closed on the house we’d been eyeing for so long, the one you live in now. (Plus, I secretly indulged in a designer layette for my soon-to-be-born prince.) We were so gebentsht. Laughter bounced off the freshly-painted walls of our new, happy home. Life was beautifully busy; life was perfect. Until it wasn’t.

I discovered the lump when I was seven months pregnant with you, dear Chaim’l. Your oldest sister Raizy was only twelve. It was a deep, dark secret then, but for you, my dear, I awoke every morning with a sense of mission, keeping my spirits up. After you were born, I would get dressed, conceal my pale skin in a fine mask of makeup, send the kids off to school with a smile, and then swaddle you, my little prince, in preparation for our walk. You loved our walks, and I could not get enough of your gurgle when the soft breeze caressed the rounds of your cheeks. How I was addicted to pinching them those buttery, soft cheeks! Knowing that our days together may be numbered, I refused to let anyone else bathe or dress you. “He’s mine,” I’d say, bringing you close to me in a tight hug. I’d turn around to conceal the moisture forming in my eyes, since my goal was to be the happiest mother to my five kids. My chances of survival are not very high, but I’m ready to do anything to delay an interaction with the malach hamaves. I’m fighting for my very life. They said that the harsher treatment cuts the chances of a relapse in half. They said mastectomy will give me 74 Wellspring | April 2020

a greater chance to live. And so that is what I wanted; I went for it. My body heaving, I walked to the OR for my double mastectomy. Totty was there; he accompanied me throughout the entire journey. Just know, Chaim, your father is a tzaddik. Day in, day out, he stands by my side. He doesn’t miss a single appointment. I turned to him and I managed to utter between sobs, “Like a sheep to slaughter.” Droplets in his beard glistened from the strong fluorescent hospital lights, and I looked up to see him weeping like a little child. My eyes met his, and words so hopeful, I do not know who placed them there, escaped my mouth. “With Hashem’s, help we’ll close a very bitter chapter now.” After the difficult recovery of my mastectomy surgery, I firmly shut the heartrending “cancer book,” closing it tightly, as if to keep the contents of the saga buried within. I wanted to curtail those memories, relegate them to a place that will never be revisited. But then, when you were a few weeks shy of your second birthday, the monster returned with a vengeance. And it all went so fast from there. Every time I return from a visit that prepares me for the worst, I see my precious children, down to you, Chaim, and know that I may not merit to raise them. But that does not deter me from putting up a strong front.

My dream is to see you, my dear yingele, grow up. To send you off to cheder, give you a first haircut. How I want to be there at your side, holding your hand, and standing outside together as we wait. Waiting for the bus, waiting for the doors of the yellow bus to swallow you up, and then waving to a smiling face from the bus window, waving, waving until all I’ll see is a blur of yellow and some blue, maybe some red. Oy, how I dream of the simple task of curling your peyos and preparing your snack. But only Hashem knows what’s best for me, what’s best for you.

Raizy Gordon, daughter The memory is so vivid; I can still feel the collar of my Geisswein jacket scratching my neck. I was twelve years old when my mother asked me to join her for a stroll. Spring was in the air and it seemed as if cherry blossoms were sprouting from every crevice. We walked side by side, my ponytail swinging with each step. “Why don’t we sit?” she asked softly, pointing to the bench shaded by a sprawling tree. I wrapped the pink boiled wool tighter around me and took a seat next to her.

Eye to eye, her breath on my cheeks, my mother said to me, “Raizy, Mommy is sick.” Without warning, my life turned upside down. The cherry blossoms drooped, their bright pink petals suddenly turned eerily gray. Keen mind that I was blessed with, I viewed the flowers of renewal and their very short life as fleeting as the existence of life itself. After their beauty peaks, the blossoms start to fall.

As the oldest in the family, I became not only the mother to my younger siblings, but also the caretaker of my father, who relied on my mother for everything. A short few months after Mommy broke the news, baby Chaim entered the world. Deep, black eyes, a mirror-image of Mommy’s, his giggle served as an eraser to some deep-set forehead lines.

Too young at that point to ponder the severity of the situation, only later did I learn that my mother had been stricken with breast cancer, the notorious disease infamous for its genetic properties. She was at the prime of her life, all of 32 years old, when she was diagnosed. For a few years, nobody knew of the secret she was harboring. But then, one grey morning, at the age of 34, she left us. She left us for a better place, where the angels awaited her with open arms. But she left us with a priceless legacy that lives on in our hearts, a legacy that dictates every step we take, every breath. Oh, she had reason to cry — too many reasons to count

perhaps — but instead, she chose to teach us how to laugh. She taught us to be happy despite the suffering.

And this was the legacy that kept me afloat when I, too, at the age of 36, received the very same diagnosis that had led to my orphanhood at age 13.

Because I was aware that breast cancer was in my family history, I made sure to take the necessary steps to maintain good health. At 28, I had myself tested for the BRCA gene, only to receive a negative result on every count, which confirmed that I was not a carrier of the breast cancer gene. But then, at 36, six months after I’d received an absolutely clean result from a mammogram, I felt a lump under my arm. There was no way I could not see it, no way I could ignore the blaring signal. It’s a painful reality, but perhaps it helped me prepare for my moment of truth, when the doctor finally uttered those dreaded words. As crazy as it sounds, I almost expected the team of doctors and surgeons to tell me straight out that I had Stage 3 breast cancer. I was well prepared when they told me I would need six months of chemotherapy and then a full-blown double mastectomy — not a small lumpectomy — to remove all traces of the cancer, as well as my lymph nodes. The tumor was gigantic; the journey to recovery was, too.

Throughout this trying chapter in my life, my mother’s legacy served as my doctrine. Do I stay in bed with all the excuses in the world, or to head for the makeup kit and then stretch my lips as far as they can go so my husband and children would see a twinkle in my eye? To wallow in my misery, in the pain, in the darkness, or to push myself forward and emerge a better person? The answers were crystal clear to me. There were no two options in the game of life, I had learned all too early. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 75

Living Well

Health Personality By Goldy Swimer

Cup of Tea

Esther Lebovic is a powerhouse. Intense, driven, and a true academic, Esther holds numerous degrees and certifications, yet her demeanor is modest and unassuming. To Esther, it’s not about her impressive CV, but rather about how to help Jewish women be their best, healthiest selves. “Following my marriage, I lived in Eretz Yisrael, where I earned my bachelor’s in psychology. I originally thought I’d get into the mental health field, and completed my master’s in sociology/family counseling. I trained for a Hebrew women’s crisis hotline and thought I’d develop my counseling skills, but after a while, I realized I didn’t want to pursue it as a long-term profession. “Somewhere along the way, I began volunteering in hospitals, where I discovered my love for medicine. I obtained a doula certification in Eretz Yisroel and was privileged to coach a few births. The joy of that never grows old. Today, I still serve as a doula on occasion. It’s an experience that evokes awe every time anew.” Esther has always been a lifelong learner. At one particular junction in life, she thought

76 Wellspring | April 2020

With:

Esther Lebovic, DNP, FNP, CSC LOCATION: Lawrence, New York

PASSION: Women’s health and wellness WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THAT: For the vessel to pour, it must be intact.

Living Well

Health Personality

A woman's lack of self-care will always impact the family unit.

she’d work in marketing and pursued her master’s in business management. But after the high-tech bubble went bust, she taught business classes at Touro and Maalot colleges in Israel until moving back to the States.

Another hat that Esther wears is that of kallah teacher and mentor. “I was mentoring a student at Neve Yerushalayim and I was unable to answer her questions!” Esther marvels. “I was horrified at my own gaps of knowledge and reached out to a renowned kallah teacher, eventually becoming a certified kallah teacher myself.” For 23 years now, Esther has been teaching kallahs. With pride, she tells of her daughter following the same path. “By the time I moved back to the States some 18 years ago, I knew I was done with schooling. I had four little children then and was not prepared to put myself through the wringer again. But my mother, in true Jewish mom fashion, pushed me to go back to school.”

Ultimately, her decision to pursue a degree in nursing was influenced by none other than… her dentist. “There I was, my mouth wide open as my dentist carried on about excellent professions for Jewish women,” she laughs. “He mentioned three different fields, one of which I have since forgotten. One was nursing, of course, and the other was optometry.” Fitting eyeglasses and contact lenses was not on Esther’s radar, so nursing it was. Going back to school was more challenging this time, with five young children. When I ask how she managed to keep so many balls in the air — she was still teaching kallahs and working as a basic life support instructor as well — Esther’s answer is frank.

“I took it one semester at a time, one day at a time. I developed a kind of tunnel vision; I refused to look at the big picture. Taking it one semester at a time gave me the leeway to opt out if it got too tough.” The best advice she received about continuing education came from her sister-in-law’s mother, Mrs. Gunsberg, who encouraged her that “in three years you will either be three years older or three years older and a registered nurse!”

She is equally adamant to credit her husband and support system,

78 Wellspring | April 2020

though. “If you don’t have a support system, it’s kind of impossible.” With her BSN from Adelphi University, Esther embarked on achieving her dream: working in an emergency room. The fastpaced, diverse work environment appealed to her. When that didn’t pan out, she worked as a Medicare MDS coordinator in a skilled nursing facility.

For this academic, a MSN and DNP (doctor of nursing practice) soon followed. “I opted to major in family practice so I could leave my options open. I wanted to be able to be in a healthcare provider role — involved in assessment, diagnostics, and treatment.”

As a nurse practitioner, Esther’s focus has primarily been women’s health. After a few months at a private practice, Esther started working at Refuah Health Center in Monsey, New York. There she found her dream team and her calling as an OB-GYN provider. Esther’s enthusiasm for her work is evident; it’s contagious. “There’s this element of wonder that I experience every day on the job. Watching couples see their first sonogram evokes an awe that I hope to never lose. When they come in during the first trimester and I’m the one to show them this living thing on the screen is incredible. Enabling women to be at their best as they nurture others is what keeps me going.”

It’s exhilarating to be a part of these women’s lives in such a meaningful way. Every day anew, Esther is awestruck at the power of women. “I’m a bit of a feminist,” she jokes. “I simply cannot believe the power of a Jewish woman and what she packs into a day! I love seeing how these put-together women are supporting families, whipping up Yom Tov meals, or ingeniously preparing mishloach manos. Women are so exceptionally strong and capable, and nothing stands in the way of the will of a Jewish woman.” I know there’s a caveat coming. Sure enough, it does. “But,” Esther cautions, “women must acknowledge that self-care is not a luxury. Too many times, women put themselves last. A lack of self-care will always impact the family unit. And I don’t only mean manicures or exercise — by all means, do that too. But please, please, come in for your annuals!”

Esther appreciates seeing knowledgeable, curious, women who are fully engaged in their own care. To her, that’s the dream alliance: an educated practitioner working from evidence-based models and an empowered woman. On the flip side of the coin, she expresses frustration as a medical practitioner whose patients question her credibility. “I never quote hocus-pocus or just order something on my say-so. Everything that my colleagues and I recommend is scientific or evidence-based. That’s what makes it so frustrating when patients believe Doctor Google over me.” Esther’s voice turns heated; it is clear the next point is a touchy one: “And never, at any point, should you accept medications from those not authorized to prescribe them. Not only is that illegal, but it can have dangerous repercussions.” Only MD, NP, CNM, or PA licensed providers can provide and dispense medications.

What Esther also finds gratifying is being a part of a woman’s life cycle and seeing how health education for kallahs segues into obstetric and then postpartum care. “A kallah will come in and I’ll run some blood work on her — check her immunity for MMR and varicella, ascertain her blood type, and so on, and explain how they will, with Hashem’s help, enable her to be a healthy mother. Then, b’ezras Hashem, I see them back as newlyweds, and before I know it, it’s a postpartum visit with an adorable baby!” Esther’s love for supporting Jewish women in their quest for health and wellness is not just contained to basic clinical work. At every visit, women will be asked about any and all medical conditions and health issues that may be interfering with their quality of life. Because if you don’t talk about it in her office, Esther asks, then where is a safe place?

Esther is a big proponent of steady, meaningful changes to achieve optimal health. Specifically, she emphasizes the importance of exercise and healthful eating.

“I want every woman to know that in order to give, she has to take care of herself,” she implores. “For the vessel to pour, the vessel must be intact.” She’ll be the first to ‘fess up and admit that she loves anything made of sugar, she admits, but she knows it’s some-

thing that must be tackled. Take small steps, she advises, and make that investment in your health so others may benefit. From psychiatric conditions, chronic pain, and a host of myriad emotional and physical conditions, there is what can be done to improve women’s lives. “There is no reason for a woman to suffer in pain if there’s a way out of it. And if you don’t tell your provider, how can you help yourself?”

Where does Esther see herself in the future? Motivated by cases within her practice, Esther is now in the process of earning her post-masters certification as a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner with the goal of specializing in perinatal psychiatry. “This specialized field is the interface of OB-GYN work and psychiatry,” Esther explains. “Mental health issues are quite common and I want to be able to treat my patients appropriately and provide holistic care before, during, and after pregnancy.” From menarche to menopause and beyond, women may experience emotional changes possibly triggered by hormonal fluctuations. For some it may be cyclical and others it may be related to pregnancy, postpartum adjustment, or menopause. While some mood changes are categorized as normal, significant anxiety or depressive symptoms impact quality of life and can be detrimental to the woman and her family. Preconception evaluation and treatment planning can be life-altering for these women, especially if medications that they are currently taking are contraindicated in pregnancy and/or while nursing. "Please do not stop taking medications without developing a plan with your provider,” Esther notes. “It can have far-reaching ramifications.” Esther sees the field of women's healthcare as a mission and she considers it a privilege and a life calling. "Our goal is healthy moms and healthy babies. That will ultimately lead to happier, healthier families and communities." In addition, Esther reiterates, treating the mom and baby means treating the family unit. “If Mom is having a bad day, so will the rest of the family. If Mom is in optimal health, the family will reap the rewards. “If I can do something to help women live long, happy, healthy and productive lives,” she emphasizes, “then I am fulfilled.”

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 79

Living Well

Celebration

The Influence In celebration of our 50th issue last month, Wellspring called upon readers to share which article most impacted their life. Here’s a sampling of the submissions we received, as well as pieces submitted by contributors to the magazine, and the successes they’ve witnessed as a result of a Wellspring article or column. We thank you for the positive feedback and encouragement.

My Lifeline

My SIBO Story

As I’ve already corresponded in private, I credit Wellspring as being the shaliach to saving my life. For several years, I’ve been struggling with mental illness. Since I live in a very insular community, and my condition has been kept under wraps, I felt so alone. My battle was mine, and mine only — except for when I was hospitalized.

I had suffered for years from debilitating constipation, accompanied by abdominal pain, gassiness, and severe bloating. It was quite embarrassing, with individuals often mistaking me for being pregnant due to the severed distension in my stomach, especially after eating carbs. I had visited two GI doctors, ruled out anything major, and had tried a few medications, laxatives, and fiber supplements. Some helped somewhat, while others not really — but nothing was able to get rid of the gas and bloating.

When Zahava List started writing her serial diary in Wellspring, I was excited to read about someone whose life was similar to mine. Then, when I read her bio, and learned that she was running a support group for women like me, I reached out to her at the first opportunity. Chazkeinu has since become my lifeline.

I’ve been feeling so much better since I joined the group, first anonymously, and then taking the courage to share my identity with fellow members. It’s a new life for me, and what a zechus for you.

Name Withheld

New Lease on Life After reading the article in which Hudi Guggenheimer discussed "the Inner Child," I was compelled to reach out to her. I had been in therapy for years and still hadn’t found inner peace.

I cannot begin to describe how much my life has changed since joining the High Energy Academy. I’m eternally grateful to Wellspring and Hudi for that.

I’m a different person. I gained so much clarity about what works for me and what doesn’t. I finally learned how to say no. I now spend my life doing what actually makes me happy and my level of vibrancy and joy is a million times greater than before.

I was perusing Wellspring one Shabbos, and Tamar Feldman’s article on SIBO happened to catch my attention. Immediately after Shabbos, I contacted her through her site. When she called me back, she recommended I get myself SIBO tested with my GI doctor, who had never even mentioned such a testing option to me. Lo and behold, the test was positive, and I made a virtual appointment to work with Tamar on healing my SIBO. Long story short, after a round of herbal antibiotics as well as traditional antibiotics (I ended up needing both), as well as a special diet that combined a low FODMAP with restricting other SIBO-feeding foods that Tamar taught me, I was 80– 90 percent improved at the three-month mark! I still require the use of some fiber supplements, but I am weaned off senna, and am only on a minor dose of Miralax. My diet can now be more varied without any symptoms. Thank you, Wellspring, for being the catalyst to allow Tamar and others to share their pearls of wisdom, for helping me and so many other people improve their health and well-being!

Thank you from the depths of my heart for changing my life.

Shifra L.

Ahuva B.

Cedarhurst, New York

80 Wellspring | April 2020

Trickle Effect Based on the feedback we’ve received, the child development column has truly been a source of information and chizuk to the community. We have gotten letters from mothers who have shared how much they have learned and how they have been empowered by that knowledge.

We feel blessed that this column feature has allowed the exposure to come to yeshivos and Bais Yaakovs in helping children who would not normally receive or can’t afford therapy. It has resulted in a trickle effect, in which schools have reached out to us to implement our preventative exercise programs to be used in helping students with “quality of life” difficulties (i.e., regulation, reading and writing skills), as well as pediatricians and mental health professionals interested in understanding the physiological connection and the effects on diagnoses such as anxiety, OCD, and attention issues. We are making an impact both personally and professionally. We are most grateful that many new parents are learning about development and preventing difficulties with their children. Many parents have shared that because of the simple tips and explanations of development explained in the articles, they are raising their children differently and seeing the results as they develop.

Our goal in starting our H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation is to educate and empower. The articles that we are writing for Wellspring have allowed us to reach the Jewish community, which may not be receiving this unbiased, evidence-based information otherwise.

Information is abundant in today’s day and age. When looking for the root cause of children’s difficulties, we are honored to be part of this team that is making a change in the health and development of children to allow them to be the best they can be academically, socially, and emotionally.

We’re looking forward to contributing to Wellspring for many years to come. We ask readers to please share what they have gained from the articles and what they would love to learn more about. We appreciate being able to support the community! Mazel tov on the 50th issue!

Freidy Singer and Roizy Guttman

Childhood Obesity As a result of being featured in Wellspring, I was able to help many individuals, including a 10-year-old girl who was desperate to lose weight. Although I was familiar with this child and her family through my work as a physician’s assistant, it hadn’t occurred to this mother that I could help her daughter. When they saw the article, however, the mom checked in with her daughter, who was eager to meet with me at my home office. At that age, children are sensitive and don’t want to think they need a “nutritionist” or “therapist.” This child was very willing to come, knowing that she and her siblings see me in the doctor’s office for their medical visits. During our visit, she confided in me regarding the bullying that goes on amongst friends and how hard it is to find pretty clothing for “overweight” children at this age and stage of development.

I was grateful for the opportunity to help the child through role-play and through my 35+ years of experience as a physician assistant in the field of pediatrics and nutrition.

Chaya Stern, RPA

Light in My Life After reading several of Shira Savit’s articles in her emotional eating column, I felt that she would be the right person to help me with my unhealthy habits. I reached out to her and found her to be an amazing help for me. With her awareness, I was able to open my own eyes and see the light in my life.

Shira provided me with invaluable tools on how to satisfy my needs and stay focused. She has helped me notice my feelings and trust myself.

The funny part was that I lost a lot of weight just by allowing myself to be who I am. Shira gave me the power to feed my needs.

It was incredible for me to watch how the "numb" person that I was actually had the ability to come alive and be aware of my physical and emotional self. As my life is changing for the better, so are those of my husband and kids.

Esther L. Lakewood, New Jersey

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 81

Living Well

Celebration

Sweet Dreams, Finally

It’s a Boy!

My Shloimy was one of those babies. You know: the ones you just can’t figure out. By the time he was 5 weeks old, I’d tried everything that I could think of: herbal remedies, bone broth, reflexology, chiropractic care, kineseology — you name it!

At 30 years old, I had been married for eight years and was the mother of two children when I read Laura Shammah’s article on PCOS in Wellspring. At that point, we were desperate to have another child, and I was starting to realize that my health issues may be a cause.

He’d just cry around the clock, with no rhyme or reason. It wasn’t uncommon for him to scream for three to four hours straight and just not go to sleep — even though I knew he was tired. I felt like I needed Babies 101; I needed some kind of structure, more menuchas hanefesh — to feel confident and actually know what he needs, to know what to do.

After reading the interview with sleep consultant Chaya Shifra Sadoff in Wellspring several years ago, I decided to reach out to her. Working with Chaya Shifra was an eye-opener for me. I knew a lot about health and wellness, but never really factored sleep into the equation. We started with small steps — being aware of Shloimy’s awake time limit (how long he could handle being up before becoming overtired), and building some routines into the day — both for me and for him. He started being calmer during the day, and was easier to put down when it was time for his naps. He’d been napping only 30–45 minutes at a time, but we made his room darker, got him down before he was overtired, gave him a routine — and suddenly he had real, normal naps.

And then — the one thing I secretly thought he could never do: fall asleep on his own. I was there to soothe him with a cuddle when he cried, or by patting or shushing him, but let him fall asleep in the crib. I slowly backed off helping him — until Chaya Shifra essentially ordered me out of the room. I was shocked but — he didn’t actually need me there anymore!

Along the way, I saw that while I’d been looking for some kind of predictability and schedule, what I actually learned was far more than that. I learned about my baby, what he needed, and how to meet those needs. He slept well through nursing strikes, through a babysitter not following my instructions, and he even started dropping nighttime feeds on his own, which I never even imagined from a baby that little!

I followed Laura’s directions and, with the help of Hashem, within a couple of months my cycles were restored. When I told Laura that I was expecting, she had tears in her eyes. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and am continuing to feed my family and myself in a healthy, balanced way.

Name Withheld

A Crohn’s Solution In an article I wrote a while back, I described how a Crohn's patient who was on medication and still in a lot of pain turned to natural healing. By following a diet I outlined and described in the article, his pain abated, and he eventually needed his medication much less often. Months later, I received a phone call from a bubby in Baltimore. She confided that her 9-year-old granddaughter had been diagnosed with Crohn's and, in panic, she was admitted to the hospital and was given an infusion of very strong medication. The family hadn’t thought of consulting anyone other than their pediatrician and GI. She was in a shock to hear that there may be a noninvasive alternative that actually works, allowing a Crohn’s patient to live without pain.

Gitty K.

It took this woman some time to encourage her daughter, who lives in New York, to try this option for her child. When they showed up, the little girl was totally cooperative. She would e-mail me every label in the store at her local supermarket to make sure those foods were okay for her. Now, she only needs her meds every three months. Wellspring is a great place to learn about the latest alternative medicine, as well as how to maintain a healthy lifestyle so we can live our best life.

Brooklyn, New York

Miriam Schweid

And I learned about myself and my own needs — and how much better I feel when I'm getting the rest I need, too! It's information and skills I wish I'd had for my first, too, and I look forward to using in the future!

82 Wellspring | April 2020

Immediately after reading the article, I made an appointment to meet with Laura. At our meeting, Laura encouraged me — in a very kind, understanding way — to make various changes in my lifestyle. Fortunately, I had the full support of my husband and family to make those important changes that would hopefully help me restore my cycles.

PCOS After my article on PCOS, I received many phone calls. Women reached out to me because they were struggling with severe symptoms of PCOS, with their cycles, and with infertility.

It is amazing to witness how changing what one eats can often alleviate symptoms, restore a period, and help many become pregnant. The number of women and couples that have been helped from that one article is so rewarding.

Thanks to that article, many women have come just for prevention, to educate themselves and their daughters as to what nutrients the body needs throughout all the cycles of life — especially during the teenage years.

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

On the Path to Healing

Eating Habits Can Be Genetic

I was featured in the Sukkos issue last year.

One reader who read about my approach to emotional healing felt that this was exactly what she had been looking for, having spent years in therapy and never quite finding what she was searching for.

Shortly after, we started having sessions together. Her acute sensitivity and deep thinking caused her to want to numb the pain that comes along with that. She felt overwhelmed by the thought of doing anything. I cannot say that she is “healed” or that she is off all anxiety medications, but we left off with her taking up piano, something she had always wanted to do, but thought it was too late.

Miriam Raskin

Light Enough With Coffee Wow! I'm glad I have the opportunity to share my thoughts with you regarding this amazing magazine.

I count the days toward your next release every month again. I love the fact that it is immensely informative, yet light enough to accompany me with my daily coffee.

Many of my current clients reached out to me after reading my articles, recipes or snippets in Wellspring. Some of them have already lost a lot of weight. However, the story of one client stands out in my mind. This woman read the article that highlighted that sometimes people can’t help but eat when they are stressed, who always feel tired, or try to diet suddenly and crash. Many a time, I mentioned there, this is not because of a thyroid issue or depression but in part due to a genetic predisposition called MTHFR.

What happens is that when stressed, tired, or starving, the body needs more vitamin B 12 (manifested as a carb craving or when the person can’t stop when eating sweets), but 70 percent of the population has at least one gene (or more out of three) that doesn’t process vitamin B12 properly. As a matter of fact, many “health care” professionals recommend more vitamin B12 in these situations, and it actually competes for the receptors from the converted version obtained by eating the vitamin from food! Long story short, it’s harmful and you still feel tired, hungry (hangry?), and stressed.

This particular client said she felt “I spoke to her” in my interview and that after she spoke to me, even though it was just one session, her whole life has changed for the better! Her relationships with her husband, kids, and boss are better because she is calmer and more patient. She also feels better about herself and her weight, and is happier. She sleeps better and feels much more energetic instead of tired all the time. All it took was one phone session and a few simple dietary tips, and advice about timing of eating, and supplement changes that totally transformed her into the person that she always wanted to be and thought she could be.

Keep doing what you're doing, and remember that there are many eyes reading through your words with great interest.

I am so thankful to Wellspring for giving me the platform to reach so many people who need help in an area that many professionals are not well versed in. Over the years, I have accrued seven degrees in specialized areas, which have helped me become familiar with this genetic component. It is my mission to help transform people’s lives and I thank Wellspring for giving me the opportunity to do so.

G. B.

Dr. Rachael Schindler Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 83

Living Well

Celebration

It’s All About Me

Rebirth

Choosing one Wellspring article that has impacted my life is virtually impossible. If only your team would know what a profound positive influence you’ve been on our family.

I thought I was doomed to live with post-birth scarring for the rest of my life, until I read Dr. Chayala England’s highly informative article on the topic. Of course, I contacted her at the first opportunity and traveled the two hours to her office to see her.

If I have to choose one column that I look forward to most and have found to be most eye-opening, it is "Heart to Heart." Aside from being an enjoyable read, I like getting a peek into another person’s life — only to realize that it’s my own life we’re talking about. It has also brought me to realize something life-changing: that what I see as an issue in one area of my life is really much more general, and that it starts with me. For example, when I get frustrated with my husband or kids for one particular deed that I perceive as “wrong,” the matter at hand is not that deed, and also not those people. It’s a feeling within that is coming to the fore in that situation. It’s fascinating how every time I read this message, always presented from a different angle, it resonates again and again and again. In the zechus of your incredible work, may you be gebentched with kol tuv!

Chaya P.

I can imagine it took courage from Wellspring to publish an article on women’s health, but if through that article, only I was helped, which I highly doubt, I want you to know that it was enough. Thanks to you, and Chayala, I am a new person.

Name Withheld

Healthy Habits I look forward to every issue of Wellspring, which is beautifully balanced and well-presented. I appreciate the research-based articles, as well as personal accounts. Many of the healthy habits I’ve incorporated in my life can be credited to your publication. I have picked them up from Shani Taub’s articles, Tanya Rosen’s profiles, and the many fascinating interviews you run every month.

Every time I pick up a new copy, I wonder how you’ve managed to fill an entire publication with such informative, engaging content once again. And I sit down to enjoy it as my healthy treat.

N. Kenig

Regaining Confidence, Not Weight In one of the diet profiles I wrote, I featured a client who had weight-loss surgery and how I was guiding her. A client I had years ago came back to see me after reading it because she realized from the article that I do work with people who have had the surgery.

Good Food Does Seasoned count as a column?

Until then, she was feeling very hopeless because even though she had the surgery, she was eating poorly and starting to regain weight.

Reading the column made this woman realize that there was help out there for her circumstances. I am happy to report that I was able to help her figure out a plan that worked for her physically and practically.

Since I’ve become a Wellspring reader (regrettably, not so long ago) I have come to enjoy preparing healthful meals. Yossi and Malky Levine’s recipes are not only mouthwatering, one by one, but I also feel good eating them — and afterward. Some of the dishes we’ve been making again and again are the honey-mustard chicken steak, kohlrabi coleslaw, and the loaded jumbo cookie, which are a real hit.

Tanya Rosen

Tehilla Cohen

84 Wellspring | April 2020

Hands On Approaches presents:

VIRTUAL LEARNING For Parents, Teachers & Therapists

Pre - registration is required! Only 50 spots available for each semianr. FREE Smart But Scattered Executive Functioning and Practical Tips for Parents April 1st 8:00 - 9:00 PM

Smart But Scattered Improving Executive Skills to Promote School Success May 12th

Benign Positional Vertigo in Children Live lab based course. April 28th

FREE Ipad Apps for Handwriting and Learning May 6th 8:00 - 10:00 PM

How to navigate Telehealth smoothly and practically March 26 8:00- 9:00 PM

Sensory vs. Behavior Online Live Web Conference May 18th 9:30 - 11:00 AM

For more information: info@handsonapproaches.com ~ 212-884-9101 www.handsonapproaches.com ~ @handsonapproaches

Living Well

Memos from a Kinesiologist By Miriam Schweid

n light of the current pandemic, I feel it would be inappropriate to address health issues that pale in comparison to what we’re experiencing at this time.

As the Gemara notes, even more than an epidemic harms people, panic and fright are detrimental to their health. In my field of work, I’m currently witnessing this phenomenon not just on a daily basis, but several times a day.

Soothe the Stress More Harmful Than the Plague

When the last wave of a strong flu swept through the community, I remember witnessing this, albeit on a much smaller scale. (This time, I don’t actually see the people I’m working with due to social distancing rules.) Then, a young woman in the throes of a panic attack was in my home. Watching her hold her chest and gasp for air, I felt her helplessness. This woman had no fever, a very slight cough, and no other symptoms. She was badly dehydrated, and had had nothing to drink in the last four hours. As soon as she felt a bit more under control, I encouraged her to drink water. I then used Rescue Calm and some lavender oil to help calm her. Baruch Hashem, she felt better after a little while. This proto-

My father used to tell my children at the Seder that every makkah in Mitzrayim was exponentially more painful than the plague itself. That’s because, as the Midrash tells us, the panic and hysteria the Egyptians suffered exacerbated the already difficult circumstances. I’ve never understood those words as much as I do now.

While it’s a perfectly human reaction to be afraid during these trying times, when it starts affecting our health, we must take the necessary steps to resume our functioning. In addition to strengthening our connection with Hashem, we can take advantage of Bach remedies like Rescue Calm, which helps alleviate stress. Lavender and peppermint oil support clearer thinking. Thieves Oil, an ancient remedy used during epidemics in the past, may serve as a natural immune boost for the body. It does not interfere with any medications. May the hishtadlus we do help us feel calmer and more at ease during this difficult time.

Miriam Schweid is a Brooklyn-based kinesiologist. She can be reached through Wellspring.

86 Wellspring | April 2020

col, which I’ve been recommending now as well, has proven to be very helpful to many.

Living Well

Home Lab By Miriam Schweid

DIY

recipes for natural living

Virus Relief These days, I am inundated with phone calls from individuals who are experiencing symptoms of the coronavirus. Of course, severe cases require medical intervention. However, mild symptoms can be alleviated through the use of the following blends, which contain ingredients that have been used for centuries to support respiratory and immune health. Of course, it’s also important to consume lots of fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins, as well as to increase hydration. Plain water is the best source of hydration. Refuah sheleimah to all cholim of Klal Yisroel.

Ginger Blend ginger, grated by hand or food processor ground cloves 2 tsp honey juice of ½ lemon 16 oz boiling water Combine all ingredients in a tall glass and sip throughout the day.

Garlic Water Slice 4 cloves of garlic with a plastic or ceramic knife. Pour 8 oz of boiling water over it. Sip the garlic water throughout the day. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 87

Living Well

Diary Serial By Rina Levy

s s e l e p a Sh e c n Da Recap: My husband appealed to Dr. Castro that he watch Yaffi’s movements outside of the office.

Chapter 5

Finally A Diagnosis Dr. Castro thought for a minute, and then announced, “Let’s go to my park.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I was soon to discover that Dr. Castro ran an enormous, professional clinic. We walked left, then right, down a long white brightly lit corridor, until we came to a giant glass door opened by a keypad. The buzzer sounded and we entered. I was amazed to discover the clinic had its own recreational play area. There were ride-on toys, tricycles, balls and playmats all set up around a running track made out of professional Dimasport exercise mats.

When we reached the track area, Dr. Castro told Yaffi he wanted to take a run with her. He instructed her to jog with him around the circular playground. The two ran twice around the small track and, after they were both out of breath, smiling and laughing, they 88 Wellspring | April 2020

stopped right in front of my husband and me. Dr. Castro told Yaffi to hold out her hand and pull his index finger towards her. He did this a few times as if he was looking for something. Then, he looked like he “got it.” He took us quickly back through the labyrinth of corridors until we reached his office, so he could let us know what his revelation was. “Now I’m ready to see the results of the blood tests,” Dr. Castro announced. We waited as he scanned the papers. As he looked, I felt as if all of the air was being sucked out of the room and like it nearly started to spin. Dr. Castro picked up his cell phone and to our astonishment, we watched him call our family doctor. “Uri, how are you, bro?” I couldn’t believe my ears. The two were friends! Great, so we were going to get to the bottom of this right now.

When Dr. Castro hung up the telephone, he told us he was 95% confident that his theory was correct, but he needed us to see an expert to confirm. “I think Yaffi has what’s called chorea, which is named for the seemingly choreographed ‘dance’ that is most prominent in her unusual behavior.” Chorea is a movement disorder, which makes sense, as Yaffi was suffering most from her involuntary bobbing up and down while sitting and walking as if she’s floating. The way her arms moved like cranes as she tossed and caught food in her mouth, her unsteadiness, and continuously moving body parts were “dancing” as it were.

“Mr. and Mr. Levy,” Dr. Castro said to us, “I want to tell you that even while we can be nearly certain that this is chorea, there are 150 types of diseases in which it manifests.” He told us that the blood tests showed that Dr. Mitchell also suspected she had chorea and had already tested for eight out of ten markers for a specific type of chorea. He gave us the name of a world-renowned specialist in our city, Dr. Tehila Benayoun. Just knowing that our daughter was exhibiting signs of chorea was not enough. We needed to know which disease she was suffering from, one whose symptoms was being accompanied by this movement disorder.

We asked Dr. Castro which chorea is the “best” one to have, and he told us that we should be praying for strep-caused chorea. To confirm, we would have to meet the expert — and be ready to pay privately whenever she’d be available to see us. At that point, we were prepared to do whatever it took to get to her. To be continued...

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 89

Expan d Sectio ed n!

Obsessed

Are You Happy With Your Size? A Wellspring survey. 150 respondentsfascinating findings.

Can't You Just Behave? A candid look at the emphasis on body image in our community

How to handle our children's humanness

Wellbeing

Feature

Too Much Weight As frum women, we know it's our essence that counts, and that this essence is beautiful. But what happens when our appearance dictates our sense of self-worth? How can we feel good at every size? A candid look at obsession with body image, its repercussions, and approaches to liberation

Shiffy Friedman

92 Wellspring | April 2020

Fascinating Wellspring Survey Are You Happy With Your Size?

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 93

Wellbeing

Feature

“Coronavirus is a plague and every time I hear of another fellow Yid who's suffering from it, I'm in pain. For me, it means making Pesach all on my own in my basement apartment in Lakewood, as opposed to moving in to my parents' home and spending time with family. But honestly, I’ve never looked forward to Pesach so much like I am this year,” admits Baila, an accomplished young mother of three. What, you may wonder, possesses her to issue such a statement? She’s not a great fan of the kitchen, nor an ardent introvert. But she does care about how she looks. Very, very much so. “I’m so obsessed with my size, so ashamed of my appearance, that I’d rather languish through a boring, quiet Yom Tov free of social engagements than having to show up in a more public setting.” If your mind’s eye pictured Baila as a morbidly obese individual, you have it all wrong. She’s willing to disclose her size under anonymity, of course, but it’s entirely irrelevant. That’s because, as painful as it may be for Baila and women like her, body image issues have little to do with appearance. In essence, it’s a feeling of repulsion toward oneself that is projected toward one’s appearance. In other words, I don’t feel good about myself and I need to make some logic of it. I need to answer the question of “Why do I feel this way?” Therefore, my size becomes the perfect object to fixate upon.

This Dress For My Daughter How has it happened that size has become such a central component to self-image? By and large, the roots are societal — stemming from messages we perceive both globally and individually. 94 Wellspring | April 2020

In the world at large, thinness is still very much associated with beauty, to the extent that those who are not especially slender may find it difficult to purchase clothing that suits their shape and size. Elisheva Shapiro, a Cedarhurst native now living in the Ramat Eshkol neighborhood in Yerushalayim, is one trailblazing woman who experienced frustration in her quest for a dress — and did something about it. “When my sister was getting married a couple of years ago, I was looking for a gown to wear at the wedding. I’d lost a lot of weight and I liked the way I looked,” says Elisheva, whose confidence and candor I find endearing. “I went to every single store, but nothing off the rack fit me. I remember saying to one saleslady, ‘I’m not fat. Why am I made to feel like I’m huge? This is ridiculous!’”

Since Elisheva had been fashion-oriented prior to this frustrating experience, even designing gowns for family and friends, she decided to be the change she wanted to see in the world. And so, she opened her own gown boutique, featuring exquisite pieces that she designed and had sewn by an expert seamstress, as well as some that she bought off from others. “It was extremely important to me that every single dress that I designed and made from scratch would have enough material to fit anyone up until size 16,” she says. She also has a selection of beautiful plus-size gowns. “A lot of people call me and say, ‘I’m like a 12. Do you have anything that would fit me?’ That they ask the question, often in shame, tells me that they haven’t found something elsewhere. Every time I say to people, ‘Of course, almost all of the gowns will fit you,’ they say, ‘That’s awesome! I’m coming!’ It’s such a nice feeling to help people this way.”

Elisheva doesn’t only understand fashion, she understands these women, who feel so comfortable in her studio. “I will never be a size six,” she acknowledges. “But you don’t have be a size six to be healthy. I’ve had women tell me, ‘I’m little bit of a bigger size,’ and then they tell me, ‘Like a ten.’ That’s not big! Women can look chic and fashionable even if they’re not a size two, yet they’re being made to feel that their body size doesn’t allow for that. In the

fashion industry, the sizes have all gotten smaller. What’s an eight now is what used to be a four. The message the industry is giving, as is obvious in the models they choose, is that only those who are tiny can look good.

“Many of today’s clothes are not made with all women in mind. They may look great on the models, but they don’t cater to average-sized women who want to look good too. Sometimes, I try something on and think, ‘This shouldn’t be made in an extra large.’ At my boutique, I focus on showing every woman the gowns that looks most beautiful for them. Just because a woman is a size 14 doesn’t mean she has to look like she’s wearing a Shabbos robe to a wedding. I tell her, ‘You can look awesome, so why not?’ Even if someone gets a gown custom-made by me and is a very small size, I have my seamstress tuck in extra material. She does impeccable work so no one notices. Then, if someone who’s a size 14 likes the dress, I tell her, ‘This can fit you.’ It’s important to me that there are gowns for every size. Even if we’re not thin, we’re not defective.” In addition to society’s perspective on body size, women who are raised in a home environment where weight is a central focus, where thinness is a value above all else, where appearances are the object of derogatory speech, or even of awe, often come into adulthood with a sense of self that is dictated by their weight. Subconsciously, they may feel that they are only deserving of love if they look a certain way. “When mothers speak about size in a certain way, their daughters pick up on this,” Elisheva notes. “A mother who was visiting from overseas once came to me with her daughter who was in seminary here to look at gowns for an upcoming wedding in the family. She showed me a bunch of pictures that she had pinned from the social media page of a sophisticated place in New York. Her daughter was probably around a size 10. She looked great, but she was not a size 0 or 2 — which was the average size of the women wearing those gowns she was showing us. Those styles were not made for her figure, but it didn’t seem like the mother wanted to hear that.

“I didn’t know how to say it straight out, but what I wanted to say is, ‘Your daughter is gorgeous, but she doesn’t look like that. Can we work with one that is best for her figure? It’s not to say that people who are a size 10 can’t wear beautiful clothes, but there are definitely styles that look better. Why can’t you do something that will showcase her beauty?’ I said to her, ‘I can make you whatever you want. That’s not the issue. But maybe you want to do something like this,’ showing her a style that is more appropriate. “It pained me to watch the daughter, who kept looking at her mother every time I asked a question. It was unpleasant to see that dynamic. It’s not surprising for a girl like that to grow up thinking, ‘I really need to be a size 0,’ which she can’t ever be. Through what they perceive as beautiful, mothers perpetuate the definition of beauty for their children.”

I Want to Look Good While Hashem created us women with a desire to “look good,” and being engaged in its pursuit by taking care of our body and looking presentable and pretty is a reflection of emotional health, when an individual becomes obsessed with their appearance, the opposite is usually true. Of course, it is also antithetical to Torah values. “The weather is turning nice again and I’m dreading it,” confesses Yael, an occupational therapist and mother of six in her high thirties. “I need my coat for comfort. I simply don’t feel comfortable having my size ‘exposed.’ I already know that my size does not determine my value and I know the verse “sheker hachein v’hevel hayofi.” I know that I’m a good person, a good mother, a good wife. I know all of this in my head. But now what? To me, skinny is beautiful. It’s so ingrained in me, in my psyche, in my everything. And even if I know that I won’t be magically happy when I’m thin, that all my troubles won’t disappear, I want to be thin anyway.” When is having a need to look good and presentable an indicator of emotional health, and at which point does it become

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 95

Wellbeing

Feature

an unhealthy obsession? “Not a minute of my waking hours goes by without me thinking about my weight,” says Baila. “In fact, I should add sleeping hours too. Not infrequently do I wake up from a dream in which I see myself at my dream size, stick thin and gorgeous. I hate buying clothes that fit my current body size, but that doesn’t mean I don’t spend on clothes. That’s because at the start of every season, I purchase two or three new items at the size I hope to be one day. So while my closet is stocked with beautiful clothes, most of them have never been worn.”

Defining an obsession is futile; at its core, it boils down to a feeling that negatively impacts life, whether physically, emotionally, socially, technically, or financially. A physical impact may be taking extreme measures that are detrimental to physical health, such as following a severely restrictive diet, in pursuit of the “perfect” appearance. An emotional impact may be excessive self-criticism in regards to the focus of the obsession (“Look how horrible you look!”). Socially, the obsession may result in withdrawal, where the individual forgoes social engagements that she would have loved to attend, or feels extremely uncomfortable in public settings to the extent that she wishes she wouldn’t be there. Technically, the obsessed individual may turn down promising job offers or arrange her schedule, such as not engaging in in-person shopping even if the alternative is more pricey or does not allow for as many options, as a result of her shame. And financially, an individual obsessed with appearance may spend on a wardrobe that is either not within her means or, as Baila shares, not sensible. Obsession may also result in an overall lack of ambition, which leads to decreased income or profits.

Have Your Cake One of the greatest fallouts of the “slim equals all good things” mindset is its negative repercussions on eating habits. How can one not be obsessed with the source of weight loss and gain when that very property dictates their core self-esteem? For some, this results in following severely restrictive diets. “Ever since I know myself, I’ve been on a diet,” says Miriam, a newly married woman in her early twenties. “I’ve also always felt self-conscious so I drew a line between the two. I thought to myself, ‘One minute — I’m talented, I’m smart, and I have friends. So why don’t I feel good about myself? Oh, it’s because I’m fat.’ Before every one of my siblings’ weddings especially, I was obsessed with my weight. I couldn’t imagine myself enjoying the wedding if I wasn’t at my ideal size. And so, I went through every diet in the book, feeling excited when I first started losing weight, but then, once the weight loss plateaued or I saw a food that I really liked, or I was in a crummy mood, I just wanted to eat. It got so bad that I was always either thinking about the next time I would step on the scale or what my next meal 96 Wellspring | April 2020

would consist of. Those were the only two thought categories that occupied my brain.”

It all came to a halt after Miriam got engaged, and the thought of herself in a white gown left her feeling panicked and anxious. “I dreaded getting married,” Miriam confesses. “I couldn’t imagine showcasing myself like that. I was so ashamed by how I looked even if I wasn’t severely overweight, that I went from feeling totally numb about my upcoming wedding to making frantic phone calls to liposuction clinics — which had exorbitant fees , and besides, a few minutes after those phone calls, the concept left me feeling queasy. Unbelievably, at the same time, I kept putting on weight. Every time I came to a gown fitting, I needed a little more room. It was crazy — I was obsessed about my weight, but also obsessed about my food. I felt like I was losing my mind.”

Today, after reaching out to an intuitive eating counselor to help salvage her sanity four weeks pre-wedding, Miriam understands more clearly what had happened. “Think about what happened soon after the coronavirus made its official arrival to the States. Suddenly, people were raiding the stores, buying out every last roll of tissue paper. That happened because people were afraid that soon, when they would need it, the supplies would no longer be available. With dieting, it’s no different. Because food had become off-limits to me, I felt a desperation to consume it. Ironically, the more my self-esteem was dictated by my size, the more ‘forbidden’ food became and thus, the more I wanted it.” While disordered eating is particularly prevalent in adolescents, it is exceedingly common among adults too. When one’s sense of self is dictated by what they eat, age is a minor factor in the equation. “Because I felt that I can’t be loved or happy at any size, I was desperate to be thin,” says Chaya, a mother and grandmother in her forties. “At the core of all my ‘dieting’ was a deep desire to feel okay with myself. And because this need is so deep for me — and all human beings — I engaged in some pretty extreme stuff in my effort to fill it. There was a time when I was off all flour and sugar, to the extent that even if I mistakenly licked my son’s lollipop while opening the wrapper with my teeth, I would run to the sink to rinse my mouth. I told myself it’s because I care about my health, but I knew better. Ironically, while I was paranoid not to let an iota of sugar pass my lips, I cared less about my kids. I didn’t care if they had candy and chocolate because I did not believe that anything was bad about these foods, only that they were hindering me from reaching my goal weight. “Even when I did lose weight,” Chaya admits, “I never felt thin. While everyone complimented me for abstaining from so many foods ‘because I was disciplined and taking care of myself,’ inside there was this voice that cried, ‘I wish I can have some too!’ I just felt that I was sick, that something was wrong with me, that if I

have a bit I won’t be able to stop, and that wasn’t worth it for me.”

Obsession with healthy eating, also known as orthorexia, does not stem from an individual’s desire to take better care of their body. Similar to anorexia, it is rather a result of anxiety that is hinged upon an erroneous perception of self-esteem (“When I will be thin/eat healthy, I will feel loved/good about myself ”), as Tehilla describes, or a desperate need for control.

At one point, when Chaya felt exasperated after another ‘slip’ in her diet, she realized that things weren’t adding up. “I thought, ‘If my weight is so important to me, why can’t I just stick to a diet? What is wrong with me?’ After years and years of being under the influence of the diet mentality, I was stuck. On the one hand, I had convinced myself that sugar and so many delicious-tasting foods are bad for me, that they’re ‘off the plan.’ On the other hand, I wanted them so badly! Even when I was ‘on the plan,’ patting myself on the back for being ‘good,’ I felt bad for wanting foods that were not allowed. Even when I was thin, and people would com-

"At the start of every season, I purchase two or three new items at the size I hope to be one day."

pliment me, I thought, ‘You don’t know that really, I’m fat. Really, I would eat this whole cake if I’d be able to. '

“When I spoke to my nutritionist about it, she encouraged me to keep sticking to my plan, albeit a bit forcefully. ‘Your body is not a garbage can,’ she cautioned. Then, every time I would have a piece of cake, I felt even worse. Not only was I poisoning my body, but I was turning it into a garbage can too. Every day that I was ‘on a diet,’ I was manifesting this voice in me that said, ‘You are not allowed to have this,’ as if I was a little child, or worse, a glutton. The idea that I can’t make my own decisions, that I can’t be trusted with a piece of cake in my hand, became more and more ingrained.”

Desperate to understand herself and what was wrong with her, Chaya turned elsewhere for guidance. “My friend encouraged me to see a nutritionist who coaches her clients with the intuitive eating principles,” Chaya shares. “I was very skeptical about the whole thing. I told my friend, ‘But you see that diets work. Look how thin I can be!’ And she said to me, ‘That depends what you call

Wellbeing

Feature

"Your daughter is gorgeous, but she doesn't look like that. Can we work with a dress that is best for her figure?"

“works.” If “works” means you’re at your smallest size, you’re right. But if “works” means you feel good about yourself, you feel alive, you feel free, is that true for dieting?’” The first thing Chaya said to the nutritionist when she came into her office was, “‘I want to lose weight,” because I had heard that intuitive eating is not a weight loss program and I wanted to ensure the nutritionist was clear with where I was at. To my pleasant surprise, she did not disparage my desire. Instead, she let me know that I was capable of attaining anything I really wanted. It was I who realized, over the course of that first conversation and the many others we’ve had, that behind the need to lose weight was a need to feel good about myself. Incredibly, the better I feel about myself by engaging in positive self-talk, and ironically, the more I give myself permission to eat, the more I want to take care of my body and eat properly, which is something I’d never done before.”

After years of following the diet mentality, Chaya reports, she felt at a loss when she received no explicit guidance from the nutritionist. “I was used to being told what to eat for breakfast, lunch, and supper, and in between. Suddenly, I was my own boss; it was very frightening. The first time I actually ate a piece of chocolate, I literally felt as if I was being watched. I needed to coach myself that I wasn’t doing something wrong, that I wasn’t damaging my body for life, that I was just being a human being who enjoys a sweet treat. “In the beginning, when a friend once invited me out for lunch, and the timing was between breakfast and lunch, I was literally discombobulated. Wait! What now? What will I eat there? When we got to the cafe, I looked at the beautiful salad bar and I was suddenly filled with a sense of relief. ‘Yes, dear,’ I remember thinking. ‘You can eat whatever you want, wherever you want.’ A salad had never tasted so good, neither did a piece of chocolate. When everything is allowed, there are times when I eat more healthfully,

and times when I eat less, but being my own boss is exhilarating. Ironically, when I trust myself with my decisions, I find that more often than not, I want to take good care of my health. I thank Hashem for this freedom every day.” Not having clear guidance was only one frightening hump Chaya encountered along the way. The other was letting go of her obsession to be thin. “At the beginning, there were moments when I was desperate for a ‘diet,’ moments when all I wanted was to be thin at all costs.”

It was a process for Chaya to appreciate that food-related decisions were in her hand. “For me, it was all about learning to accept myself where I’m at,” Chaya shares. “Even when I have an urge to be really thin above all else, fighting that this is where I’m at won’t do me much good, just as fighting the desire to eat isn’t helpful either. Only when we validate ourselves for being where we’re at can we start to enjoy life. It took a long, long time for me to give myself permission to make my own choices, to trust myself with food. It’s still taking time, but I’m more forgiving and less obsessed, and less obsessed means more alive.”

And Eat It Too How does it happen that a woman who for years, possibly decades, was afraid to make her own choices in regards to her food intake finally lets go and learns to trust herself? Enter Intuitive Eating (IE), an approach that is gaining explosive traction in the world at large, and in the frum community in particular.

“I was drawn to the name before I even understood the concepts,” says intuitive eating coach Rena Reiser, who is credited with helping spread this awareness to the community over the past several years. “To me, as a Jewish woman, our intuition is a cornerstone. I always intuitively understood what I needed to be eating, and yet I was stuck in some areas. Once I explored the intuitive eating program, it helped me fill in the gaps. The biggest takeaways for me were learning how to cope with our emotions without using food, and simultaneously, intellectually and emotionally allowing all foods — which doesn’t mean eating everything, a huge misconception about IE.” What does listening to our intuition mean? “Many of us have experienced the feeling of being choked up when we hear something really sad. Or, our pulse quickens when we hear exciting news. Our bodies are in constant communication with us as to what resources we need in which situations. Often, we call this our ‘gut instinct’ or ‘intuition.’ Our intuition is a deep part of ourselves that speaks to us in a really quiet tone. In order to tune into it, our minds have to be quiet enough so we can hear it. The reality is

that we live in a very masculine, fast-paced world, and so most of us have been habituated from early on to ignore the voice of our intuition. And so, we lose our sense of interoceptive awareness (an awareness of the internal state of the body). It can be as extreme as experiencing big traumas in life that cause us to dissociate from our bodies, or as subtle as well-meaning caregivers who said things like, ‘Oh, don’t cry.’ If we have a reason to cry and we don’t, we slowly end up disconnecting ourselves bit by bit from feeling what our bodies are saying to us. In order to heal ourselves and hear the voice of our intuition once again, we have to learn how to reconnect to and hear our bodies. Depending on the level of severity of disconnection, and the source of it, an individual may need to work with a professional who uses somatic methods of healing. The more the individual works on these skills, the more they are able to connect to and listen to their intuition.”

Rena was first fascinated by Intuitive Eating because she found that it goes much deeper than typical food programs. “It’s not really about the food,” she asserts. “Over time, I’ve learned that there’s room to go even deeper. Overeating, undereating, overspending, smartphone overuse, relationship challenges, and more are all manifestations of deeper wounds, calling out to be healed.” The more she’s done this work, the more she’s expanded her skillset to not just focus on the food, but on the roots of the challenges, so that the women she works with don’t just put bandaids on the symptoms. In a typical session with a client, she may use inner-child work, guided imagery, EFT, Focusing, or intuitive journaling. “Food can be an incredible gateway if we’re open to understanding what it’s coming to teach us,” she says.

When Rena first starts working with a woman who hasn’t been tapping into her intuition for a while, it’s very common for the woman to first feel afraid. “Telling her that she can eat whatever she wants is speaking right to her intellect, anxieties, and fears. I don’t believe that this is a statement that honors intuition. I believe it encourages impulsivity and black-and-white thinking. It’s similar to bringing a child into a toy store and telling her she can buy anything and everything she wants. You’ll usually have one of two reactions: either she’ll freeze up and not buy anything, or they’ll go crazy and buy more things than she’ll ever have time to play with, including things she’s doesn’t even really want. An individual first needs to go through the steps to relearn how to connect to themselves and understand what feels right for them, straight from their body. After those steps, the statement is moot. They already know that they can eat whatever they’d like, because they’re attuned with their intuition. Most of the time, that will be healthy, nourishing foods. Some of the time, it will be chips or chocolate.” For those not yet familiar with intuitive eating, the thought that they can be trusted with their food choices may seem absurd.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 99

Wellbeing

Feature

“What? If I listen to my intuition,” they argue, “I’ll be eating chocolate all day. I don’t want chicken, and certainly not salad.”

But, the truth, Rena notes, is that when an individual feels that urge—such as to eat chocolate all day, it is usually coming from impulse and not intuition. “The journey I take my clients on is about relearning how to hear their intuition and distinguish it from impulses. Impulses come from a place of fear and disconnect. Intuition comes from a place of calm and connection, the ability to quiet the chatter of their thoughts and tap into something far more integrated.”

For Rena, watching the process is awe-inspiring. Her archetypal client, she says, “is a high achiever, usually a perfectionist — who hasn’t realized it until we start working together — and a self-help junkie. These are women who tend to over-intellectualize, understand that their overeating is covering up something bigger, and are ready to work hard. They tend to be successful professionals, rebbetzins of communities, and expert stay-at-home-moms. I help them quiet the noise in their heads so they can hear the voice of their intuition, heal the roots of their struggles, and live their truth.” But what if a woman is so obsessed with being thin that she’s afraid to make her own choices in regards to her eating? “We start where the problem lies: her obsession with being thin. Where did it come from? What is it protecting her from? What is it stopping her from accomplishing in her life? When she heals from her obsession with being thin, she’ll feel lighter than she has her whole life. She can finally be herself,” says Rena, “That’s the ultimate goal — not whether or not she’s eating chocolate.”

The Disassociation Process At the core of obsession with how one looks, as Rena points out, is not the actual appearance. Rather, it is a wounded self-esteem that is eager to pinpoint something, anything that may be the reason for the uncomfortable emotion — as opposed to acknowledging that the emotion is not dependent on external factors. One proof? The many individuals whose appearance is starkly imperfect, who are nevertheless content and confident. Associating appearance with happiness is a flawed perception of the two independent variables. “For me,” says Chaya, “the proof is that there are moments that I feel so content that nothing outside of this happiness matters. During those moments, I’m not concerned about how much money we have in the bank, what I’m making for supper, nor about my size. That tells me that an emotion is totally not dependent on external factors.” “For years, I thought that every woman who’s overweight feels miserable,” says Tehilla, who has gone through the very lengthy disassociation process of seeing happiness as an emotion indepen100 Wellspring | April 2020

dent of other factors, as well as her appearance with few emotional strings attached. “That was because I was feeling miserable — and I thought it was about my weight. I came into adulthood with the perception that thin is beautiful, being thin is a reflection of all good things, and vice versa. I often asked myself, subconsciously, ‘Can someone really appreciate me in this size?’ This affected my life in so many ways, especially in marriage. When I would see larger sized individuals who appeared to be self-confident, I would think, ‘How can she be happy with all that flab?’ To me, the two simply didn’t go together. “I convinced myself that all of my troubles, every negative emotion, was a result of my size. ‘When I’ll be thin, I’ll be happy.’ I envied everyone who was thinner than me. Until that was me.”

When Tehilla was nursing her fourth child, her baby’s sensitive digestive system required that she subsist on a very meager diet. Before long, she was down five sizes, weighing in a range she hadn’t been since elementary school. “I went to buy clothes and I saw how the small sizes zipped right up, so I knew I had ‘made it,’” admits Tehilla. “But I was more anxious than ever. Suddenly, I realized that I finally could not complain about my weight anymore. But why was I still not happy? So it hadn’t been about the weight all along… I realized how I’d been channeling all of my unpleasant feelings about myself into my appearance.” While many of us are well aware that happiness is an independent variable, and that while our appearance may affect how we feel about ourselves, obsessing over it only makes us miserable, disassociating one from the other is no simple feat.

“I think I have to be reborn again to disassociate beauty and happiness from size,” says Baila. “It’s so ingrained in me. It’s ingrained in everyone I know. It’s absurd that in a community that is so focused on spirituality and connection to Hashem, so many of us place such extreme emphasis on looking a certain way. I know there are some people who lead a healthy lifestyle because they truly care about their health, and I wish I would be like them, but most of the people I know who do so do it because they can’t fathom not being thin. I understand them very well. For me, not being thin is a curse.”

For Baila, as well many other women I’ve spoken to in preparation for this article, it’s difficult to fathom that disassociation of the two is possible. Indeed, in one of the questions in the Wellspring body image survey, I asked, “Do you believe that you could be twenty pounds more than you are now and happy?” The response? While many respondents noted that they believed it in theory, only 11% felt that this would be true for them.

As frum women, we are not only taught that “Charm is false, beauty is futile; a woman who fears Hashem is to be praised”

Impulses come from a place of fear and disconnect. Intuition comes from a place of calm and connection. (Mishlei 31:3), but we are also aware that regardless of our size, we were created in the image of Hashem, worthy of self-love and cherished as we are. Still, knowing it and feeling it are not one and the same. So how can we feel what we know? As a start, it’s to actually feel what we feel. Resisting that we don’t feel good about ourselves does not help the emotion disappear. Whether we resist it by engaging in obsessive pursuits to achieve what we believe will provide us with the opposite of what we’re feeling, by seeking culprits for the emotion, or by numbing ourselves to it, the result is the

same: the emotion remains.

Of course, living within boundaries and leading a structured lifestyle naturally provides us with a good feeling, as does looking good and presentable, but for us to be happy at our core, we must first face what we’re feeling deep inside. When we acknowledge that “this is how I feel even if it doesn’t sound good,” and we validate ourselves for feeling this way, we open ourselves up to the positive emotions that are buried within. It is then that we begin to understand that we can be happy at every size. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 101

Wellbeing

Feature

with

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg is a master's level registered dietitian and a certified intuitive eating counselor. She uses a non-diet, weightneutral approach called Intuitive Eating. She helps growth-oriented women break out of chronic dieting patterns, and regain clarity into what is really important to them.

How did you get into intuitive eating? I grew up in a large family, the fourth of nine children, in Scranton, Pennsylvania. My mother wasn’t too concerned about what we ate — she just made sure that we ate. There were zero, yes zero, kosher restaurants in Scranton, so when I got to Teaneck, New Jersey, where I boarded for high school, and found that I was a walk away from a kosher pizza store, let’s just say I ate a lot of pizza. I didn't think too much about it until I realized that all my friends talked about dieting, weight loss, and the hate of their bodies. That’s a common teenage girl thing to do, but it can go very bad very quickly.

When I decided to diet, I would lose weight and then binge on whatever I was restricting. It was so disappointing and frustrating. I finally decided to just try my hardest not to eat, and when lost weight, the compliments abounded. “You look amazing!,” “How did you do it?” It was amazing, except for the fact that although I lost weight, I gained a lot of other things: obsessive thoughts around food and my body, frequent trips to the scale to weigh myself over and over again, and even fear of certain social outings because of foods I was afraid to eat — to feel out of control and, G-d forbid, gain weight. Thankfully, this was addressed by my close friends who came with me on a trip for mid-winter break. They saw the way I was eating and commented. I knew then that they were right. Weight loss does not mean health and very often, weight loss can mean very unhealthy. At that point, I knew I wanted to be a “nutritionist,” not knowing the actual credential is a registered dietitian and certainly not knowing the pathway of getting to that degree. I wasn't a serious student in high school and who knew what I 102 Wellspring | April 2020

would do as an adult. I figured working as a nutritionist, telling people what to eat, was probably a pretty easy thing to do.

And so, I sought to obtain a degree as an RD. It was a very grueling process, working for a year in my internship. I passed my exam and started working in a nursing home. I’d been so excited to earn this degree. I had high hopes of healing the frum world of all of their food traumas and troubles. Working in a nursing home, ensuring that the senior residents were getting their proper nutrition, had no resemblance to that. A few months into the job, I felt depressed. I did all that schoolwork for this? I looked for other jobs, but basically, the only jobs available were those in nursing homes.

Feeling stuck, I did something bold. I made an appointment to consult with Perl Abramowitz, a parenting teacher who also does private counseling. (I learned that she does this when I once had the privilege of driving her home from a parenting class I’d attended.) I hoped she would help me figure out why I was so upset and how to proceed.

During our session, Perl told me about intuitive eating coach Rena Reiser. After six years of schooling, with a masters in nutrition, I had never heard of this. I corresponded with Rena and she introduced me to the concept of intuitive eating. Intrigued, I ordered a book on the topic and, wow, my eyes were opened. The author was basically describing my entire experience in high school — the restrict-binge-restrict cycle — hate yourself, starve, hate yourself some more. What a harmful cycle and yet, so many of us subscribe to it. Once I read the book, I knew this was what I wanted to learn about, implement in my own life and ultimately teach to other women, so they could heal their relationship with food and themselves. I trained with the authors of the book, and I was certified.

Do you believe that every individual has the ability to listen to their intuition in regards to eating? What about someone who is under the impression that they're addicted to food? Most people, excluding those who have a disorder that would affect their eating and/or appetite, are born with natural hunger cues. We eat when we are hungry and stop when we are full. We do learn at a young age to associate eating with all different types of emotions. This is not necessarily a bad thing. When a baby is born, the first thing he does is drink sweet milk that contains lactose from his mother. He may now associate eating with the warmth and comfort of his mother. At a wedding, we eat. On Yom Tov, we eat. This is normal. Diet culture has demonized emotional eating. Dieting has also turned off our intuitive signals by telling us what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. Once we start to practice listening to these cues, our body will learn to trust us again and ultimately we can hear and listen to these cues.

supper eating, “the diet starts tomorrow” — leading them to eat until the point of sickness.

What is the reaction you usually get when you tell women that they have permission to eat whatever they'd like? What if the woman says, “But I'll never stop." Most women have an intense fear of permission to eat. I like to wait to incorporate these principles as one of the last things we do. I don’t blame them for being fearful when the voice of diet culture is so strong and we are constantly being bombarded with diet messages. Making peace with food takes time, and often a lot of support is needed to get over this hump. But with time, these women do get over it, and often they find out they don't even like half the foods they binge on — they were just eating them because of the fear of restriction.

Tell us about your typical client. If someone has been told what and how to eat for a long time, such as by following a diet for many years, how can they learn to tap into their intuition again? This is where the ten principles of intuitive eating come in. The two principles I teach to such individuals are to honor your hunger and respect your fullness. I use a hunger/fullness scale, which rates hunger/fullness on a scale from 0–10; 0 being ravenously starving, such as on a fast day, and 10 being overly stuffed, think Yom Tov, when you need to unbutton your belt. Each number has a quality — either pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. I explain that when you start to eat when you’re at a 2 or a 3 on the scale, this is when the food actually tastes its best — as a way for your body to reinforce your eating when you’re comfortably hungry. You’ll notice that when you are at a 0 or 1 on the scale, you may not even taste the food. This is primal hunger, when your body is just trying to survive. Taste isn't important to survival; calories are. When fullness starts to emerge, at about 7 or 8 on the scale, food begins to lose some of its pleasurable qualities. Again, your body is reinforcing that you should stop when you’re full. If the individual has been on a diet and they were restricted, say, from cake, now that they’re not on the diet anymore, they may binge or just eat way past fullness for fear of ever being restricted from cake again. It doesn't feel good to be overstuffed, but they just feel so restricted. Or, they may engage in what’s called last

This is a great question, one I often I discuss with my business coach and mentors. You want to cater to your ideal client, so you really have to get to know them. It’s called your avatar and often business coaches will have you give your avatar a name — figure out where they live, where they hang out, how many kids they have, and so on. Most of my clients are between 20–40 years old. They’ve been at war with their bodies for many years. There was often diet talk in the house as a child, and they picked up by osmosis that they were not good enough in this body so they'd better “fix it.” Intuitive eating is so healing for them on so many levels because they are finally learning to see what their body can and has done for them besides for just how it looks. They can treat it well even in a larger body. They learn self-care, self-parenting and boundary skills from this work.

What if a woman is so obsessed with being thin that she's afraid to allow herself that piece of cake or chocolate? What do you tell her? How do you guide her? Usually these women choose not to work with me when I state on the phone very clearly that I don’t ever focus on weight loss. If they still want to work with me, I’ll wait until they are Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 103

Wellbeing

Feature

ready to eat the foods that scare them. There are so many other things we can work on before then. Listening to their fears and validating them are therapeutic in and of itself. Having someone totally understand them is very healing, as my clients often tell me.

Has the intuitive eating mindset impacted other areas of your life? I’ve become obsessed with self-growth through this entire process of learning about intuitive eating and teaching it to others. Yes, 90 percent of people just want weight loss, but for those 10 percent of people who are willing to do this work, I’ve seen their entire lives change. Oftentimes, I realize that they had big problems in their lives, but instead of addressing them, they would actually look to dieting to give them some stability and control. Take that away, and now they have to look face to face with the problem at hand. It’s uncomfortable; it's painful. No one likes painful emotions, but I always say, emotions can create motion. Now that you can actually feel that painful emotion, what can we change about your life to make it a more meaningful life? We do deep work of inner child work, tapping (EFT), and plenty of gratitude and victory journaling. It’s truly my honor and privilege to do this work.

What is your take on emotional eating? Do you see it as a coping mechanism that should not be taken lightly? Emotional eating is a totally fine coping mechanism as one of the tools in your tool kit. When it is your only tool, you may have a problem. If you don’t have other coping skills, it's most likely not your fault. I have learned that unless we are taught coping skills, we don’t just pick them up.

Here’s one practice I give my clients to do once they have practiced the hunger/fullness scale for a while. I tell them, “When you have an urge to eat and you know you’re not physically hungry, set a five-minute timer, and see what emotion comes up.” Once we are aware of it, we can remedy it.

What do you consider your success stories? Success stories! Yes! I have had women tell me “Today, I walked into a bakery, bought a coffee and left. I’d never done that without buying pastries and eating them in the car.” Other 104 Wellspring | April 2020

women have told me, “I can’t believe it, I don’t even like Doritos now that I’ve made peace with them.” Other women have put up such strong boundaries, and people know not to make comments about their bodies. To other women, establishing meal plans is a form of self-care, because they know if they don’t, they don’t eat the whole day and wind up binging late at night, feeling sick. I want everyone to know that this is very deep work. Working on your relationship with food is usually a way to work on your relationship with yourself. It can heal very deep wounds of rejection from childhood. It can help you understand that weight is not a behavior, and sometimes, because of our black and white thinking and because diet culture is reinforcing it, unless we lost weight, we wouldn't eat healthy or exercise. Now, women engage in healthy behaviors, not for weight loss, but for the sake of health. It's amazing to witness.

What would you like to tell women who are bothered that they’re'eating more than they're used to during this crisis? That we are going through a crisis. Right now our focus is to practice self-compassion and self-care. We are in survival mode. We have to meet our most basic needs. Eating shouldn’t be our only coping mechanism. But, during a crisis, it’s very hard to implement a new coping tool. Of course, I recommend, using other coping tools, like journaling, exercising, and meditating, but for many people, these are things they need help implementing, and right now may not be the time.

Remember that you’re a hero for getting through each day. We were all thrown into this against our will, and each day that we put one foot in front of the other and move on is a victory of itself. Please don't allow this crisis to become a crisis about your weight or body. If there are tools you have learned to implement, now is a great time to practice using them. Exercise is a great way to cope with stress as well. Yoga and meditation can relax the mind. And yes, sometimes, food can be the most soothing, appropriate thing.

Many people reading this may think I’m saying, “Eat whatever you want and be okay with your size." I think people hear this because they are so desperate for permission. That's not what I’m saying. You do have permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. However, with this in mind, eating in a way that feels out of control or only eating to meet some other unmet need may result in something even more painful than overeating. I urge you to look into this either by reading the Intuitive Eating Book/Workbook, or working with a coach. Elisheva, Rena, and Gila can be reached via Wellspring.

Taking It Forward With their children home all day, how can mothers transmit healthy behaviors around food? My method is called "the division of responsibility,” a feeding model created by Ellyn Satter, a registered dietitian and social worker. The guidelines of this model are that the parent decides the "what" and "when" and "where" to eat, and the child decides "how much" and "if any." So, we feed our children regularly, every 2-3 hours, with foods that we deem good for them. We always must make sure there is a "safe food,” which is a food we know that they will eat, on the table. This way, we take the stress off the parent, we do our part, and let go. But, during this crisis, this may not be a time to fully implement a new system. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break. Also, the more our kids sense our tension and stress around food, the more problems we create.

The best way to transmit health behaviors in all areas of life is modeling. Do as I say and not as I do will never, ever work. If we are binging on ice cream late at night, we do transmit that guilt, shame, and binge attitude to our kids. This starts with us. Practice good self care for yourself, by eating every 2-3 hours, incorporating protein, carbohydrates, fats and fibers at meals. Consume adequate fruits, vegetables and water. Keep it basic. Make a feeding schedule, stick to it as much as you can. If your kids are happy at the end of the day, pat yourself on the back. This is hard. Really hard. We need to be there for ourselves in order to be there for our kids.

Wellbeing

Feature

Are You Happy With Your Size? Frum women and their appearance: A Wellspring survey To find out just how central appearance is to women in our community, Wellspring conducted the following survey, which was administered to 150 female respondents from across the United States, Canada, Europe, and Eretz Yisrael. These are the real stats, credited to the raw vulnerability exhibited by the respondents. Note: Percentages have been rounded to the nearest integer. Sentences in italics are comments from individual respondents.

Age:

Does your life revolve around your size/weight?

Are you happy with your size/weight?

56%

63%

60%

44%

30%

The only time I was totally happy with my body was when I was about 4 months pregnant with my first child and had spent most of my pregnancy vomiting. I thought I looked great. My husband later admitted that he thought I looked skeletal (but was smart enough not to mention this to his nauseated wife).

20s-40s

40s +

Yes

Unknown

No, not at all

I only think about it when I have to buy new clothes, or see myself in a mirror/photo.

If not, why? I used to be very thin and it’s hard for me to get used to the new me. I want to go back to how I looked. Wouldn’t everyone want to be a drop smaller? I don’t need to be super thin, but I would love to fit into the beautiful clothes in my closet. So I can have a flatter middle. I want to fit into the outfits I have been saving for years from when I was that weight. And health considerations (blood pressure, reflux, leg veins, etc.) will be eased. To be able to buy clothes in most shops, to look and feel better and hopefully have more energy and good health. Maybe I’d consider remarriage. I would just like my body to be the way it once was. It wasn't incredibly thin. I am shorter, and I had muscle. I'd be thrilled to get back to that. Everyone in my family is really thin so being the overweight one has always been a burden for me, both physically and very much emotionally. I feel better when I’m thinner. And that’s reason enough. 106 Wellspring | April 2020

25%

Yes, very

15%

Pretty okay

Only when I’m pregnant do I despise my size.

If not, what would you like it to be?

In what range is it?

35%

28%

Up to 20 lbs/2 sizes less

110-130 pounds

60%

36%

20-40 lbs less

130-160 pounds

34%

160+ pounds

Unknown

Would you do a one-week crash (read: starvation) diet that guarantees a 20-pound loss? 62% No

26% Yes

10%

It depends. 2%

It would be scary if I would.

I may be fat but I’m not stupid.

I like my food too much. Post-birth, yes.

My mother used to do these crazy starvation diets. I would see how she "tortured" herself, and I was very very turned off, so no.

At what age did you start having an opinion on your appearance? 11%

I was overweight as a girl and continued to be that way through high school. I had a lot of confidence and a great self-image because I was a great student, talented and had many friends. I never really cared about my dress size, but my mother –who was always thin— was constantly after me to put me on a diet and stop me from eating fattening foods. Looking back, I see that my feelings were ridiculous. I looked great—not toothpick thin but slim.

under 10

When I saw a picture of how I looked at age 12, I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t fat at all! Nevertheless, I always considered myself fat (not even chubby).

25%

10-14

I think everyone begins to care how they look as a child, don't they? Unfortunately, I had a hard life -- the type you read about in suspense novels -- and that lead me to a lot of self-doubt and anxiety. I used to pick at non-existent pimples until I was covered in scabs. And then, as a 13-year-old, I stopped eating, thinking I was fat, when I was actually beautiful. It wasn't until I reached my 20s that I began to develop healthy conf idence, and now, even though I'm overweight, I'm okay with myself. Now I recognize it as a just a vehicle for my mission on this earth -- a broken vehicle, but one with potential.

63%

14-16 1%

I still don’t have one. When you see a photo of yourself, do you usually like the way you look? 44% Yes

52% No

4% I never look at photos of myself. When I look at past pictures, I think: Why did you ever think you were fat?!

When I look at pictures of myself now I think: Does the camera add 50 pounds?! I don't feel that overweight! I think I look decently pretty :). I think I look cute!

Do you believe that you could be twenty pounds more than you are now and happy? 11% Yes

84% No

Unknown

I could be forty pounds lighter and even happier!

Never. I have a certain belt I try on every once in a while, just to make sure it f its on the same hole. If it doesn’t, I know I’ve gone overboard and need to get back on track.

I don't think self-love is contingent upon weight. I think it's a fallacy that we've bought into as a society. I base self-love on how nice of a person I am to other people and how well I fulfill the mitzvos. That doesn't mean that I don't have a tinge of unhappiness about my weight. And yes, I feel intimidated standing next to gorgeous people. There are some things that so deeply embedded within the human psyche that don't disappear despite working on a healthy mindset.

My reaction: I look better than I have in a while. My face is thinner. (I also like my current glasses.) I can't bear to see pictures of myself. They are worse than a mirror somehow. All I can see in a picture are the extra chins, big cheeks... not a pretty sight. (Even though people consider me pretty...)

Childhood photos: I notice that I’m not smiling. I was a sad kid, emotionally neglected, and it shows. Current photos: “That’s not me. I don’t look like that!”

Delighted with some, but lately, I think, “Wow! I am old!” I care more about my teeth/makeup/wig so I check that f irst. I also make sure that what I’m wearing f its.

If weight takes up a lot of your mindspace, are you upset at yourself for it? 77% Yes

23% No

I would like to eat cake and other fattening food with less guilt. I don’t eat that much, but guilt always accompanies it.

I understand that I’m a human being and if I care so much about it, this is important to me.

Aren’t all women obsessed with their weight? The story of our lives. If it wouldn’t take headspace, it would’ve been weird. So while it shouldn’t occupy space, it does, because it’s normal. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 107

Wellbeing

Feature

Does your appearance have an impact on your relationships? (Marriage, socializing, etc.) 52% Yes

43% No

Unknown Unfortunately, my friends are all in the same boat as me. We are all currently doing a healthy weight loss plan together. What's important for marriage is that I try to be presentable, whatever my weight.

When I'm fat, I don't enjoy getting dressed and going out. Surprisingly, some people are intimidated from me and I think it's my f igure that plays a big part. I'm pretty tall and quite thin. Except for answering frequently-asked questions from well-intended people about my pregnancy (even at my age of nearly 60) and my trying to hold in my stomach when meeting new people, it is not such a big deal.

My husband is both shorter and much thinner than me. Although I have good looks and am self-conf ident about my f igure, it took time for me to adjust to that after we got married. Now, it’s a non-issue. I feel great everywhere except at my in-laws, who are a family of petite size 0 people. I’m also tall, so I feel like a sailboat near the pretzel rods.

108 Wellspring | April 2020

Do you wish you could be happy at your current size as opposed to wishing not to look the way you do? 42% Yes

49% No, size means too much to me 9%

Undecided I wish I wouldn't aim to have that perfect look and just be okay with imperfection. Does another person’s size make an immediate impression on you? 58%

Yes, if the appearance is extreme 20% Yes

Would waking up weighing 20 pounds more be a nightmare for you? 59% Yes

18% No

23%

Disappointing, but not a nightmare Complicated, because I think I gave away all my larger-sized clothing.

I could think of lots of far worse nightmares, r”l, but if, for some reason, this would happen to me, I would probably do that 20-lb quickie reduction week mentioned above and stay out of sight until that goal would be accomplished. If you’ve ever lost weight in the past, did you find that your self-esteem was higher then?

12%

78%

Not at all

Yes

Only if they’re extremely obese (more than me—poor things, a pity) or extremely thin (I’m a nurse, I’d worry about their health).

21%

I notice it, but I don't make any judgments. I think it’s a gauge of mental health. Unfortunately, yes, because I'm a very judgmental person. I would like not to be, though, so I consciously try to stop the thought process. I also find that once I get to know someone, I don't notice their weight anymore. I analyze them, wishing I could be like them if they’re thin and thanking Hashem I’m not so fat if they’re hefty. As an EMT, I notice if someone is too heavy and am concerned about their weight's impact on their health, in the present and long term. I also notice if people look much too thin, which can also have negative health implications.

Same From the satisfaction at doing it, and from the attention it got me. I feel that it is a fault to not take off so much extra weight. Like, what’s wrong with me? When I originally lost 14 pounds, many years ago, at a time that my self-image was suffering, this loss of weight was like regaining my lost spirit.

It was higher than before I lost weight, but I'm not sure it's higher than now, when I've come to a healthier level of self acceptance.

What is the most extreme thing you’ve ever done or considered doing to lose weight? Passing thought: wishing I could be seriously ill and recover thin (chas veshalom). At this point, the most extreme thing is considering bariatric surgery. I've drastically eliminated white flour and sugars from my diet. Intermittent fasting Weight loss pills

A diet that required drinking something really horrible twice a day. It didn’t last very long.

I stopped eating and started exercising 4 hours a day. Additional comments from respondents: I think all women know that weight is an artificial factor, and not something that determines the character of a person. With that, it is unbelievable how we are so programmed to make so many decisions with our weight in mind. I remember that there was a period that I felt extremely overweight and uncomfortable with myself. I went to a shiur, and there was an incredible selection of dessert foods. It was unbelievably hard, but I did not taste even one thing, and I remember not being able to concentrate on the shiur. It was so ridiculous! I have a best friend who is noticeably very overweight. She dresses tastefully, is tzanuah, and is masterfully self-aware. I used to look at her pitifully, thinking that she must be so upset with her lot. After I got to know her, I saw right through her exterior, and I saw her beautiful, dazzling neshamah. I remember we were talking one time, and she flashed one of her sincere, chubby smiles. I laughed and said, "Sheva, you are so beautiful."

I was sick this past winter for a week and couldn’t eat anything. I lost lots of weight and my brother got married right after that. My gown had to be taken in more than a full size only two days before the wedding and I looked very thin. At the wedding, I got loads of such comments: “Aren’t you happy you were sick? You got to lose so much weight!”

Seriously? Are we like that? I had been sick sick sick. I couldn’t get myself a drink without feeling faint. I had to literally crawl to get to the kitchen because I had no strength, and all everybody was busy obsessing about with excitement and relish was that I had lost so much weight.

At 36 years old and weighing about 100 pounds, I have always been underweight. I guess I just have a quick metabolism. I eat quite well—three meals a day (although I am sometimes too busy to eat lunch properly). I nosh on chocolate and cake but it doesn't make me put on weight.

Most people consider me very lucky to be able to eat what I want and to stay so thin. I am happy about my weight and it's fun to never have to diet. After each baby, I go back to my normal weight and sometimes even lower because of the nursing. However, there is a disadvantage to being underweight and that is that clothes don't always look so great on me. Also, my face sometimes looks too thin. I think I actually look prettier when I'm expecting and my face is a little rounder. I remember meeting a colleague a few weeks after I had given birth and she said, "Now you look great. Stop now; don't lose any more weight." But, it's not in my control. I would prefer to stay looking like that rather than too thin, but nursing makes me lose it all. The truth is, I don't like the way people think that they can comment freely about my weight. It’s as though being fat is an embarrassment and they would never embarrass a fat person by commenting on their weight, but it's f ine to comment on a skinny person's weight because that's the goal everyone's trying to achieve.

It's ironic to me say that weight matters so little to me, yet, in a way, it really does. I wish parents would relate to their children’s problems with weight. Heavy parents just think it’s hereditary and don’t even try to change their child’s “fate.” There are things to do, even if it’s genetic, such as having healthy food available in the house and not allowing unhealthy munching. Also, if a child has an emotional problem that is leading to overeating, they can seek professional help before the child becomes obese (or at least, before it’s beyond return). They can also rule out a medical condition, such as hypothyroidism, allergies, hormone imbalance, before criticizing an overweight kid. And perhaps, most important, they can love every child just as he or she is.

It really bothers me when skinny people or people that really carry weight well kvetch about weight. I also hate that I have a complex to eat in front of people— because I’m scared they'll judge me with the food choices I’m making. I wish there would be more support for those who struggle with their weight, such as more healthy choices at simchos and restaurants, and less super-thin models in shop windows. Observations:

(Getting into researcher mode here.)

Interestingly (or perhaps not so), the respondents’ current size and their emotion toward it were not correlated. In other words, many of the respondents who reported not being happy with their size were on the lower range of the BMI chart and vice versa. This suggests that happiness with size is not dependent on the size per se, only on other variables. Another interesting observation: happiness with size was not correlated with age, either. While some respondents in the older range (50+) wrote that being alive and healthy was more important to them than anything else, others wrote that their weight still bothers them very much. Findings:

Jewish women are smart. Very, very smart. The kinder we are to ourselves for wherever we’re at—whether we are happy or are not happy with our size—the more content and joyous life becomes. No research is needed to ascertain that these two variables are certainly correlated.

Final note from a respondent: Responding to this survey, I’ve come to realize that, in my case, the underlying reason for my quest for thinness is my inability to accept myself for what I am. As soon as I will be able, be’ezras Hashem, to accept and value myself, the sooner I will stop looking for other reasons to validate my existence. So… thank you!

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 109

Wellbeing

Child Development By Friedy Singer & Roizy Guttman, OTR/L

Can You Stop Knocking Everything Over? Understanding Every Child

110 Wellspring | April 2020

Note: This article was prepared before the pandemic set in. Since all of us will be celebrating Pesach this year only with our nuclear family in our own home, the tips for handling children in a setting outside of the home or in public may not be pertinent at this time. We hope you find the rest of the content helpful for the current situation, and that you keep those tips in mind for the future.

very Pesach, we read about the Four Sons: the wise son, the wicked son, the simple son, and one who doesn’t know how to ask.

Why do you never hear about the son who accidentally spills every single one of the four cups of wine — and won’t eat the matzah because it’s too crunchy? Every year before Pesach, we hear from the parents we work with about that son or daughter — and how the parents are

dreading the upcoming Yom Tov. There are late Seder nights that throw off their child’s routine. Lack of familiar foods. All manner of unfamiliar foods with strange tastes and textures: Too salty. Too bland. Too crunchy. Too mushy.

If the family goes away for Pesach, the problems are often compounded. Different places. Strange people. Sheets, blankets, and pillows that are too warm, fluffy, or itchy. And that’s before the parents have to deal with the reactions of everyone around them. “Why is he behaving like that?” “Can’t you control her?”

“I made so much food. There’s nothing he’ll eat?”

“I’m her grandmother. Why is she acting like she doesn’t know me?”

Then there are those who say nothing, but often that’s worse. You can see them looking, you can guess what they’re thinking, but you don’t even have the opportunity to explain. There are ways to make Pesach, or any Yom Tov season, easier and more enjoyable for children with sensory integration issues (and their parents). Here are some of our top tips. An ounce of planning is worth a pound of…

One thing many children with sensory integration issues have in common is difficulty with transitions or unfamiliar situations. What can you do to ease the transition? Make the unfamiliar as familiar as possible.

If you’re going to see relatives you haven’t seen in a while, show your child pictures in advance. Explain who the relatives are and how you’re related to them. (“This is Aunt Rosie. She’s Mommy’s sister, just like Sara is your sister. She bought you the fuzzy blue blanket you like to sleep with at night.”) Use puppet shows or role-playing to demonstrate and practice the interactions your child will have.

The Seder is the pinnacle of unfamiliar — as it’s intended to be. After all, it’s the night that “is different from all other nights” in a multitude of ways. Prep your child. Explain the sequence of events. Get a children’s Haggadah with pictures and go through it together; then let him use that Haggadah on the night of the Seder. Some schools do a “model Seder” for their students. If your child’s school does not (or your child has been out of school for the past few weeks), do one yourself a few days before Pesach. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 111

Wellbeing

Child Development

An Ounce of Prevention

season, your child’s exercises and other therapeutic activities are all the more The raison d’etre of the so! Every year on the first Seder is to give over the session following Pesach, experience and message of parents tell us how stressYetzias Mitzrayim to our ful the Yom Tov period children. Each child needs Does this table accommodate the needs of an active child? was with their child. “Did a different approach, as the the exercises help?” we ask. passage referring to Four The parents laugh ironiSons is intended to convey. cally. “Exercises? We tried Spend time thinking about to find time for them, but… it was way too hectic.” which approach your child needs. Stories? Pictures? Props? Acting out the building of the pyramids under the Egyptian taskmasters? It’s a vicious cycle. The Yom Tov schedule makes everything Seeing the Makkos? Leaving Mitzrayim with the matzos on your more hectic, and so there’s no time for the exercises, or the sensobacks? Singing and dancing? ry diet, or whatever therapeutic activity your child routinely does. Expecting a child to sit quietly while the adults have a formal Seder is not only unrealistic, but counter to the very purpose of the Seder.

Now, that’s all well and good when the Seder is in your own home. But what if you’re guests at the formal Seder of relatives or in a hotel dining room with strangers? Work in whatever you can. Give your child books, pictures, and props for him to engage with. In this case, preparing your child so he knows what to expect is even more important. Keep everyone fed and hydrated.

The Seder starts late — and even once it starts, it’s a long time until your child will see any significant food. Feed your child early. Make sure they start the Seder on a full stomach — at the very least, not an empty one. Being well-hydrated helps with transition issues. Give your child plenty to drink.

This sounds simple, but in practice can be difficult unless you’re making a concerted effort. Meal routine is harder to maintain during Pesach preparations and any activities you may be involved with on the Yom Tov itself. If you want to enjoy the time and minimize stress, however, making sure your child eats and drinks at regular intervals is crucial. Plan mealtime, drink time and snack time into your preparation and activity schedule. Don’t skip therapeutic activities.

If regular meals are hard to fit into the schedule during Yom Tov

Then the child has a hard time coping, and acts out, and life gets even more stressful, and then there’s certainly no time to do exercises.

Break the cycle. If you make sure that your child keeps up with the therapy that helps her year-round, your Yom Tov will be that much more relaxed for everyone. Don’t pressure yourself.

Your child will act up over Pesach. There’s no way around it. But how you experience it will depend mainly on your attitude and emotional preparation.

Relax the pressure on yourself to perform, to impress your friends and family members with how well-behaved your children are. Try to integrate the attitude that “It’s okay if my family sees my kid acting rowdy. If they want to judge or criticize it, that’s a reflection of their limitations — not mine or my child’s.” It’s easier said than done, but the more you integrate the attitude of acceptance, the more positive an experience you and your family will have. Enjoy your child!

Your child is special.

We work all day with children with sensory integration issues, and we find them to have some of the most fabulous personalities around. Use vacation and Yom Tov time to enjoy your child’s personality and have fun together.

Friedy Singer and Roizy Guttmann are neurodevelopmental therapists and the directors of Hands on OT Rehab Services, Hands on Approaches, and the H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. They are focused on educating and empowering the community to help children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. They can be reached at info@handsonapproaches.com

112 Wellspring | April 2020

‫‪Done:‬‬

‫חג כשר ושמח!‬

Wellbeing

Social Bonding By Shiffy Friedman

No Social Distancing Around Here 10+ fun family activities for a quarantined Chol Hamoed Family activities in a health magazine? At a time when private homes turn into makeshift wedding halls to help the klal, Wellspring is chipping in to do our part, too, turning this space into one that will help you provide your family with hours of enjoyment and connection. Besides, your family's mental health and wellbeing is certainly apropos to our mission here! While social distancing is the rule outside the home, inside, this is our opportunity to engage in social bonding. Positive relationships are healing, soothing, and just plain fun.

These entertainment ideas are practically free, require few if any supplies, do not involve writing, and, most importantly, generate good vibes. Some of them even earn extra points for requiring use of school brains that are getting just a wee bit rusty. Each of these activities becomes way more exciting when the parents play along. Join the fun!

Matching

Follow the Pattern Supplies: 1 package of 100 plastic cups 5 colored markers 1 package of dot or circle stickers, in different colors 5–10 sheets of plain paper Instructions: Divide the family into two teams. Each team receives 50 cups. Have an adult or older child stick 50 colored stickers in a pattern on a sheet of paper (such as five rows of 10). This should be done out of sight of the players. While the adult prepares the first pattern, both teams color the bottom of each cup with a colored marker according to the color and number of stickers being used (example: 10 cups red, 10 cups yellow, 10 cups green, 10 cups blue, 10 cups orange). As soon as the adult presents the pattern, both teams spring into action, setting up their cups according to the sample sticker pattern. The team that correctly arranges their cups first scores a point. The team with the most points wins.

114 Wellspring | April 2020

Supplies: 15 pairs of any small objects in the house, such as socks, plates, nuts, cars, and so on 30 9” disposable plates Instructions: Collect the objects from around the house. (Have fun with this part, too.) With the players out of sight, have an adult or older child set up the objects on the floor in a random order, as they would a matching or memory game. Cover each item with a disposable plate. Now play the game as you would play any matching game; it's way more entertaining when it's spread across the room! Variation: Play this game using hot cups or aluminum pans as covers. Use prizes or treats that the kids who find their pair can keep.

Bring on the Music Everything’s more fun with music in the background! Aside from evoking fun and laughter, dance parties are a really heart-healthy exercise. For the girls in your crew — and the boys around here enjoy it, too — make up choreography to a song they know and practice it with them. Once they know it well, sing the song at a faster speed, then even faster, dancing all the while. The winner is the one who can follow the steps the longest.

Grab a Chair Supplies: Chairs (that’s easy!)

Oldies but Goodies

Instructions: Arrange chairs in a circle, using one less than the number of players. (For example, if there are eight players, use seven chairs.) Have an adult or older child start the game by standing in the middle, with all other players seated. The player standing in the middle announces, “Whoever has/likes/ wants _______ should switch places.” Players for whom the statement applies must switch places, but not with the player right next to them. The goal is for the player standing in the middle to grab a chair. The one who remains without a chair is the one to make the next announcement. Examples of criteria: Anyone who has brown hair/ who ate matzah this morning/ who loves Pesach/ who is wearing black. Let the kids get creative with their questions!

Pin the Tail — or pin Pharaoh — can get really fun for a bunch of cooped-up kids—and even the adults. Get creative with your ideas! Here’s another one: Silly Song. Use the words of one song and the tune of another and have each child try to sing it. (Think: “Vehi she’amda” to the tune of “Leshanah Haba’ah,” and so on.) To make it more difficult, have several kids sing the same words to different tunes as the same time. It's definitely not easy, but it's certainly laughter-inducing! How about an obstacle course? Create an obstacle course together with the kids, using anything you find around the house, from pillows and blankets to balls, hula-hoops and more. Setting up alone should take half the time and is loads of fun! Then have the kids walk through it in pairs — with one blindfolded and the other one guiding him. (Older kids can do it themselves, blindfolded.)

Take Me Along! Want to free up your hands but your baby is begging (quite vocally) to be part of the fun, too? Baby carriers aren’t just for outdoor hikes. My husband and I use our carrier all the I time inside the house, keeping the Thank Hashem For ____________ baby close to our hearts while actually getting stuff Supplies: done. None, just a perspective of gratitude Instructions: (This is a more inspiring variation of "Grandmother’s Trunk.") To begin the game, one player says, "I thank Hashem for …” and they complete the sentence. (Example: "… my eyesight.") The next player says, "I thank Hashem for …” and they complete the sentence by listing what the previous player said, as well as what they’re grateful for. (Example: "… my eyesightand the sunshine.") The players continue taking turns, each time repeating the words already mentioned and adding a new word to the list. Start a new game when the list becomes too hard to remember. Variation: If you'd like to reinforce alphabet skills and make the list easier to remember, require the players to add words in alphabetical order (apples, bananas, coats, and so on). This game is especially helpful for lifting the spirits of kids (and parents!) who would rather be on a roller coaster/at a park/ visiting relatives than sitting in their own living room, again. When we maintain a perspective of gratitude, appreciating the incredible gifts Hashem has blessed us with so abundantly, happiness abounds.

Imitation Program When everything we've come to associate Chol Hamoed with — think road trips, amusement parks, or even visits to Bubby — is nonexistent, it’s our opportunity to get creative and make our own fun at home. Picnics and barbecues can be so fun on the back porch or in the backyard, with the kids preparing place settings and mini treats for all “guests.” An indoor carnival can be lots of fun, too! For kids who love playing with water (i.e., the younger set), an indoor swimming pool is a great idea (let’s not discuss the mess, which is happening right here as we speak). While we can’t actually visit the grandparents or that lonely great-uncle, we can give them a call as a family and spend a few minutes every day lighting up the life of a quarantined individual who has had enough of staring at the ceiling.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 115

Wellbeing

Emotional Eating By Shira Savit

We’re Not Robots

Is emotional eating all that bad? Are you ready to do some emotional eating this Pesach?

Emotional eating has a bad rap these days; eating to soothe, distract or suppress feelings can indeed have negative effects on one's physical health and emotional state. However, let's look at emotional eating from a different perspective, and thereby learn how to break free from our unwanted eating habits.

When we think about emotional eating, we might envision a frazzled mother, toddler pulling at her skirt, sticky floors, a crying baby, kids fighting, and — a chocolate bar calling her name. This mother might grab the chocolate because she doesn’t want to experience feeling overwhelmed (and is using food to numb her feelings), or, 116 Wellspring | April 2020

perhaps she knows from experience that the chocolate might actually help soothe her emotional distress, since it tastes good and is one of her favorite sweets. Whether she is eating to numb her feelings, or to help herself feel better, this is a typical scenario of emotional eating. Let’s learn more about this loaded topic. Is emotional eating good or bad? Should it be avoided at all costs? Is there a time and a place for it? Emotional eating is typically correlated with a negative experience or feeling. However, in reality, emotional eating can also occur in relation to a positive situation. Going to a wedding and sitting at the table, eating with friends, feeling light, connected, and happy —

that’s also emotional eating. Emotional eating might be celebrating your anniversary by going out and enjoying a nice dinner with your husband. The point is that there are feelings that are aroused by life circumstances, whether they are pleasant or unpleasant. Instead of looking at emotional eating as the enemy, let’s learn how it could be our friend.

As human beings, we are constantly experiencing a flow of emotions. Doesn’t it make sense that our emotions will also be present while we are eating? Think about it this way: what is the alternative to emotional eating? Emotionless eating? Being a robotic machine that puts food into a mouth? Is that the ideal way to eat? I don’t think so.

The infant learns that when it experiences discomfort and cries, he will be fed, which will, in turn, lead him to feel soothed and calmed.

We experience emotional eating from the earliest stages of life. Think of a newborn baby: the infant learns that when it experiences discomfort and cries, he will be fed, which will, in turn, lead him to feel soothed and calmed. As we grow, we celebrate milestones at events — such as a kiddush, birthday, or bar mitzvah — with food. Even more so, our culture places a strong emphasis on the correlation between eating and feeling: think oneg Shabbos or Yom Tov. The Torah doesn’t say to eat meat and drink wine because meat is a good source of protein and iron, and wine is loaded with antioxidants. Instead, the Torah emphasizes oneg — enjoyment! This Pesach, I encourage you, dear reader, to go ahead and

emotionally eat! Obviously, I am not referring to the eating that one would do to numb or distract themselves. I’m talking about bringing our emotions to the table. When I’m munching on a bag of potato chips, I can ask myself: How do I feel? Maybe I feel insecure about that comment my mother-in-law made. When I sit at the Yom Tov meal and indulge in the mint chocolate mousse pie, maybe I can tune into the joy that I feel from the unity, simchas Yom tov, or the precious sounds of giggling cousins together?

Whether emotional eating is a positive, growth-oriented experience, or a negative, unhealthy coping mechanism depends on two key factors: awareness and choice. When I am in touch with my feelings, whether positive or negative, I can make a choice, a conscious decision about how I want to relate to the food I’m eating in that particular situation or moment. In my experience, the most effective way to lose weight and have a healthy relationship with food is to embrace the fact that we are humans, not slaves, and not robots. When we embrace all the emotions in our life, the good ones as well as the unpleasant ones, we are able to love ourselves and accept ourselves for the decisions we make around food. Give yourself an everlasting afikomen present this year: let yourself feel.

Shira Savit, MA, CHC, MHC is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in helping her clients with weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Her unique approach incorporates both nutritional and emotional factors to help her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and also works with women in any location via phone or Skype. She can be reached at 516-978-7800 or Shirasavit@gmail.com.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 117

Wellbeing

In Session with Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Heart to Heart

How Can I Calm Down My Children?

The summarized interactions in this column are either based on reader-submitted questions or are a composite of several sessions that helped guide the individual toward the first step of his or her emotional health journey. Since emotional work is always a process, the goal of this column is to provide direction toward the first step, as well as important points of exploration that could b’ezras Hashem lead to the menuchas hanefesh the questioner, and every Yid, seeks. The Editors

I’m in a great deal of stress these days. I don’t know how to calm my kids down. There’s no way to shield them from what’s going on nowadays, and I’m watching them grow more afraid by the second. I don’t know how to answer their questions, nor do I know how to deal with the panic they’re experiencing. I can’t look them in the eye when they ask these questions because I have no way of calming them down.

Which part of this is making you feel stressed?

118 Wellspring | April 2020

As a father, knowing that it’s my role to keep my kids calm, I feel at a loss. If I answer them with the truth, they have more questions. If I don’t, they’re tense in a different way. They’re desperate to know what’s going on.

Can I ask you how you’re feeling these days? How are you dealing with the situation?

I think I’m pretty calm. I’m trying to keep calm, that’s for sure. I’m trying not to think about the whole situation, to distract my mind from it as much as I can.

Is it helping you feel the sense of calm you want to feel?

I think it does help, but when I’m near the kids, it’s very hard for me.

What’s hard for you?

They keep asking questions, and I just feel so uneasy.

When they ask you questions, you find that you start feeling afraid?

Often, when an individual is in fear, he tries to escape it, whether in his mind or even physically, such as through eating, technology usage, work, or other distractions. For such a person, it’s difficult to be in the presence of anyone who actively exhibits fear, whether it's his spouse, children, or others. Because he’s in a state of escaping fear, it's too hard for him to face it. The only way to face others who are experiencing fear is by acknowledging that we have a great deal of fear within ourselves that we’re trying to escape. Once we do so, we can work on our own fear (see next page), as opposed to figuring out how to help others with theirs. This in itself, especially as parents, will help with creating a calmer environment for them, too.

What to Tell the Kids There’s a plethora of information on how to deal with the fear our children may be exhibiting, and space and time constraints do not allow us to delve into them here and now.

Yes. I see that I have a lot of fear to deal with, fear of my own. When my kids are afraid, I have to face my own, too, whereas in my office or when I’m keeping busy I don’t have to think about it. They’re pushing me up against a wall.

However, here’s one crucial pointer: a child can only be as calm as his or her parents are. In other words, a parent who focuses inward, on his own emotions, and seeks to handle them properly, will find that, in most cases, the child will feel more secure and less anxious. The less attention we pay to our own emotions, the less effective we will be at working on theirs. As parents, the more we work on our own tranquility, the less we have to work on our children’s.

Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 119

Wellbeing

Discussion Board

It’s the Response That Matters Where do I put myself with all this fear? This is a period of great instability, globally, as well as for each of us in our own way. We don’t know when this will end, how it will end, and what will happen when it ends. This is a predicament that triggers tremendous fear in every human being since Hashem created us with a vital need for security and stability. Every time our stability is disrupted, we enter a state of turmoil since instability is a source of supreme discomfort to our nefesh, as well as to our mind.

Hashem created each of us with the capacity to feel fear. This is an emotion that essentially ensures our survival. It’s this emotion that makes us jump away from a car that comes our way, propels us to take action when we smell smoke, and motivates us to stay quarantined when a pandemic rages in our city. While it is perfectly human to feel fear, the fear in itself is an unpleasant, even painful, emotion, one we’d rather not experience. So, we do everything in our power to eliminate or distance ourselves from the cause of the fear, as well as from the fear itself. However, if fear isn’t dealt with properly, just as when one ingests the wrong medication for an illness, the fear not only does not get treated, but, even worse, it is exacerbated to the extent that the individual may enter a state of panic as a direct result of mishandling the emotion.

To understand this better, let’s look at an individual who hears a piece of news that threatens to topple his sense of stability. The routine he’s used to is no more; life as he knew it no longer exists. He can no longer rely on the objects of his security. What happens as a result? He starts to feel fear. His life is now threatened. Since the fear itself is so painful, his reaction, in an attempt to eliminate it, could be one of the following. a) He may numb himself to it—such as through freezing up, or feeling no emotion about the situation. Thus, he distances himself from his emotional world, which is in genuine suffering. With this reaction, the individual essentially isolates himself from what’s occurring internally, seeking to distract himself from the very real upheaval that’s taking place inside.

While this reaction may give the impression of resilience,

120 Wellspring | April 2020

it is, in essence, disconnection. It’s as if the individual erects a barrier around his heart, thus cutting himself off from life, as if he’s fallen into a deep sleep. This response may appear to provide momentary relief to the difficult emotion that one is feeling, but the truth is that emotions don’t dissipate just because we refuse to feel them. b) An alternative response to fear is when an individual does acknowledge that this is what he’s feeling, but he then immediately presents logical evidence to himself as to why it is not necessary for him to feel this way. In an effort to downplay the fear to his own self, he may posit that the frightening occurrence will pass, that it’s not as bad as it’s made out to be, that there are worse things to fear, that everyone is in it, and so on. This response to fear may even present itself as "failures" or "shortcomings" in his own Yiddishkeit, such as, “How can you be afraid? You’re supposed to have emunah,” or “A Yid with bitachon has no fear.”

All of these thoughts may be — and often are — true. It is true that every difficult circumstance does pass, sooner or later, as well as that it is easier when others are in it with us. It is also true that a Yid who has emunah has it easier (see sidebar). However, using these concepts to drown out the fear is not only futile, can ironically intensify it, subconsciously. If this is what I’m feeling right now, attempting to downplay it through any means, denying that this is how I feel because I’m not “supposed” to feel this way, does not diminish what I feel, not even a tiny bit.

Why is that? The feeling of fear that arises at a time like this is not in our bechirah. It’s not as if we choose to feel this way right now. In general, we never choose our feelings, especially not painful ones. We feel it, whether we want to or not. The only thing that is our choice is how to handle the feeling. c) Another way we may respond to the fear we’re feeling is that we do realize that this is where we’re at, and the fear overtakes us in a way that we are manipulated by it. Driven by this fear, we may engage in exaggerated pursuits of security and safety, such as stocking the storage room to capacity, washing our hands obses-

sively, or mapping out a plan to ensure our security for the rest of our lifetime, as if such a thing was possible. (This is not referring to taking sensible precautions to remain safe, such as following government regulations, which is the hishtadlus we must do to take care of ourselves and our families. This is halachichally and practically crucial.) Obviously, this, response also does not do the job of assuaging our fear. While those who deny that they feel fear and those who attempt to downplay the emotion are more disconnected from their inner world, allowing the fear to manipulate us is also not an effective approach to dealing with fear.

In all of these common responses, which we engage in because we’re accustomed to handling fear this way, the fear still remains. All this time, the individual is still feeling so, so afraid inside. He may experience its repercussions physically as well, feeling drained, ill, and exasperated. So what is the effective way to handle fear?

Most importantly, by not mishandling it. In all of the aforementioned responses, we are focused on the external circumstance as opposed to what’s occurring inside. In an attempt to quiet our fear, we are not paying attention to the turbulence within.

In order to properly deal with the emotion, however, the first step we must take is to stop and look inward, to ask ourselves, “What is going on inside me right now?” Everything happening outside of us is irrelevant in comparison to this. If we find that we are in a state of fear, acknowledging this, even just to ourselves, is the first and most vital step to being able to deal with it at all. Before we start thinking that we’re not allowed to be afraid, or we start figuring out a plan for our security, we want to first see what is occurring inside. Do we realize that we’re in turmoil right now?

For many of us, acknowledging that we feel fear is difficult. Aside from not being used to this approach, we don’t feel com-

fortable with it. It may make us feel weak, childish, wimpy, and so on, as if only children or feeble people have fear, and that adults, and strong ones at that, are past it — that the emotion is suddenly nonexistent.

As human beings, no matter our age or intellect, we crave stability. We need to know that the supermarket will be open and that its shelves will be stocked. We need to know that the doctors and hospitals are available and capable of helping us. We need it for our nefesh. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us with this need. And now, when the situation is not this way, when life is unstable, our nefesh is in a state of bahalah. We’re disturbed, confused, and afraid. The more we admit that we do feel fear, and we surrender to it, we cease to be in conflict with ourselves. It’s the only way to start accepting ourselves and feel at peace. (In fact, a great deal of the fear is the fear of having this emotion.) This is the peace that emanates from being okay — not in conflict — with how we feel. Just looking into ourselves and expressing how we feel in someone’s presence, (“I’m in such fear. I’m so afraid!”), whether a spouse, parent, or friend, without interpreting the feeling, brings on a great deal of calm. Even one good moment of unburdening can be the catharsis for which we are so desperate. The more we surrender to the pain, the less it hurts, and the faster it will pass.

All of this can be applied to every emotion. The more we are able to accept what we’re feeling, the better we feel. As a result, we will also be able to accept how our children are feeling. This is even more important these days, when we’re experiencing such instability. It’s okay for us to feel this way — and we’re being fed so much frightening information, including warnings not to panic, and warnings not to be afraid, when what really helps us is to accept that yes, we do feel this way, and it’s okay for us to feel this way. The more we do this, the more we will experience inner peace. May Hashem help us to be liberated from this turmoil — and to be zocheh to be able to give ourselves the space we vitally need in order to feel what we’re feeling.

Believe!

How does fear reconcile with faith? For someone who has invested a lot of work in reaching a point at which he fully and truly believes that he is in the hands of Hashem — and everything He does is for his good — and he feels it on a physical level, so much so that when a crisis hits, he doesn’t feel any fear, ashrei lo v’ashrei chelko. This is not of whom we speak. But, if we do find that we do feel fear, even an iota of it, we can more easily acknowledge that this is how we feel if we use our emunah. To say, “I don’t have fear because I have emunah,” when this is not how we feel, does not deepen our faith or our piety, nor does it

help us feel less fearful. On the contrary, with emunah, it is easier to experience our fear. It is then that we believe that the fear we are currently experiencing is from Hashem. He is the One Who created the situation, as well as my fear. Because it is for my good, I won’t fight it. That’s where emunah comes in. This is the way to reach the place where we feel so comfortable with whatever Hashem does to us that fear does not enter the equation. And when it does, with true emunah we accept ourselves for the place we're at, because we’re cognizant that Hashem is the One Who put us there. Nissan 5780 | Wellspring 121

Wellbeing

Food for Thought By Shiffy Friedman

Lesson Plan Pesach 5780:

Diverted When I learned that the kids would be out of school at least until Pesach, and the seriousness of the pandemic had not yet registered, my emotions vacillated from feeling overwhelmed to excited to curious. Of course, I was grateful that we were all home together, in good health, baruch Hashem. Still, it bothered me that the kids wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn about Pesach in a school setting.

You see, a very positive childhood Pesach memory for me is bringing home the intricately crafted Haggadah filled with neatly penned beautiful thoughts on every segment of the Seder. I can still feel the butterflies of anticipation I felt then, while preparing — and then presenting — my masterpiece, the decorations progressing from glittery to sequin-studded to faux leather.

122 Wellspring | April 2020

And while I knew that corona was affecting millions of lives in ways way more calamitous than mine, I was disappointed that my children wouldn’t be coming to the Seder with their own works of art; the little ones proud to parrot the Mah Nishtanah and the older ones eager to share their beautiful divrei Torah.

I thought about this and thought about this some more, until I realized something that has turned this period of chaos into a special bonding experience (with highs and lows along the way, of course): our children are getting a different kind of chinuch this year. They may not be learning much in the conventional sense, but being in my constant presence for days on end, they’re absorbing critical messages, both practical and spiritual, that they will carry in their hearts forever.