Wellspring Issue #52

Goodbye, World

For these people, protective isolation is critical for survival, not only during the corona threat

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MAY 2020 // IYAR 5780 // ISSUE 52

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How to help our children— and ourselves— deal with disappointment, no matter its magnitude Based on Rebbetzin Sima Spetner’s Approach

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What’s really going on in the hospitals?

Dr. Doueck describes a visit to the dentist during this period

A candid talk with ICU physician Dr. Daniel Grove

Body image still under discussion

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So Is Thin In?

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From the Editor shiffy@wellspringmagazine.com

From Surviving to Living Several months ago, I had a fascinating conversation with Blimi Marcus, a registered nurse.

In what sounds quite eerie in retrospect, Blimi then asserted that our world had come to a place it had never been before.

With the objective of survival no longer as pressing as it had been centuries or even decades ago, we became more focused on improving the lives we’re living. Thanks to advancements in medicine and science, and improved living and financial conditions, baruch Hashem, those fortunate to reside in developed countries worry far less about living out the year and concentrate much more on the quality of that year.

With credit to these developments, as we discussed then, the world at large (and our community as well), has started exploring various approaches to healthy living. While our great-grandparents struggled to survive, we’re privileged to live in a world with longer life expectancies and a greater quality of life (with opportunities for enhancement of that quality, too). The “gezuntheit” we instinctively utter in response to a sneeze is an ode to, if not a subtle reminder of, a time when ubiquitous ailments were potentially life-threatening. While health has never been and will never be a given, we’ve gone from a world of bread rations to an era of wellness, in which stores are stocked with whole-grain products and organic produce, nutrient-dense foods, and a wide array of nutritional supplementation — and even a magazine like Wellspring. After our conversation, I pondered Blimi’s observation, taking a moment to appreciate the era of blessing into which I was born.

Fast forward just a few months, and here we are, getting a taste of what it’s like to be focused on survival. Those on the front lines of medical treatment, Blimi Marcus among them, as well as Dr. Daniel Grove, featured in this issue’s "Cup of Tea," have been going above and beyond in their duty to help patients battle the virus. Others, like Nicole van Amerongen and her dedicated team at AmYisrael vs.

COVID-19, are helping out in their own way. In this issue, we bring you an interview with this impressive young

woman, who stepped up at a time of need. Her incredible work on behalf of the klal has been carried out in such an unpretentious, under-the-radar manner. As all of those on the front lines work tirelessly on behalf of humanity, and kindhearted individuals like Nicole and her team jump in to fill the gaps, we watch in awe as people show their best possible selves, even during this eis tzarah.

As the world has shifted from being focused on survival to enriching the quality of life, more attention is being given to mental, emotional, and spiritual health. An individual who may have been placed in an asylum only decades ago, due to mental instability, now has a chance to live a more fulfilling, happy life. Those with biochemical conditions have better chances at enhancing their quality of life, as well. At the same time, we’ve been inundated with modalities of therapy and healing in the field of mental health, many of which have come and gone over the years.

At the same time, we’ve been inundated with modalities in the field of mental health, many of which have come and gone over the years. One thing, however, remains constant: the direction we’ve been privileged to receive in the Torah.

As a former psychotherapist, who has since realized that the Torah encompasses the ultimate direction toward emotional wellness, I approach Shavuos (and the entire year, really) marveling at just how blessed we Yidden are to have been handed a veritable "user's manual" for quality living, in every sense of the word. Even in terms of physical health, while our Rabbanim are currently issuing rulings that may appear novel to us, every decision they make is based solely on the one source from which we cull all of our guidance.

As the commentators famously note, Hashem chose to give the Torah in the midbar in order to convey a powerful message for generations to come: Observance of My Torah is not contingent on a time, place, or circumstance. You can keep the Torah anywhere, anytime. Whether it’s 2488 or 5780, it is from here that you can draw your chizuk, always.

It’s from here that you can plot a course and orient yourself in parenting, marriage, overall emotional wellness, and really, everything. Ki haTorah kolelles kol hatovos sheba’olam.

May the wisdom of Torah guide you toward leading the rich, healthy life you deserve.

Well-Put!

Shiffy Friedman

Don’t try to emulate Superwoman because she does not exist.

Hudi Gugenheimer

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 9

Contents

MAY 2020 IYAR 5780 ISSUE 52 The next issue of Wellspring will appear iy”H on June 3rd.

WELL INFORMED

38

18

TORAH WELLSPRING

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

22 SPIRITUAL EATING

By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS 24 DENTAL HEALTH

By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS 26 HEALTH UPDATES IN THE NEWS

By Esther Retek 30 DEDICATED TO HEALTH 10 Questions for Nicole Van Amerongen

By Esther Retek

71 ISSUE 52 MAY ‘20 IYAR 5780

Trendy, Tasty & Totally Healthy Sourdough Toast, Tahini Brownies, and Cauliflower Tacos Now’s the time to try your hand at these trendy dishes

Alive and Well Ten foods that top the probiotic charts Chinese-Style Cashew Chicken You’ll never want to order takeout again

LIVING WELL

56

34 IN GOOD SHAPE Breathe Your Way Through

By Yocheved Freuer 36 ASK THE NUTRITIONIST Sizing up Serving Sizes

By Shani Taub, CDC 38 FEATURE In Hiding

By Goldy Swimer 44 AT THE DIETITIAN Weight Loss Maintainer

By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

WELLBEING

46 CUP OF TEA With Dr. Daniel Grove

By Roizy Baum

56 COVER FEATURE Dealing with Disappointment

By Shiffy Friedman

51

64 EMOTIONAL EATING

By Shira Savit

DIY Herbal Pillow

By Miriam Schweid

52 SERIAL DIARY

By Rina Levy

Insider and Heart to Heart will return next month.

46

66 FEATURE Parenting Can Be Fun

By Hudi Gugenheimer

Springboard

Letters

On Gluten-Free Diets, Spelt Flour, Genetic Conditions, and More

Gluten-Free is Not Junk-Free Issue #51: HealthEd

invites readers to submit letters and comments via regular mail or email to info@ wellspringmagazine. com. We reserve the right to edit all submissions and will withhold your name upon request. We will honor requests for anonymity, but we cannot consider letters that arrive without contact information.

About five years ago, when the gluten-free diet was all the rage in my social circle, I hopped on the bandwagon and cut out almost all gluten from my diet. It wasn’t a simple task. Although cross-contamination was not of concern to me, I ended up spending a lot of time and money to ensure that I would ingest as little gluten as possible.

Three years in, I was surprised to notice that not only had a put on some weight, but a blood test I had done for a different reason showed that I was deficient in some vital nutrients. After I got those results, I realized that I had to do what was best for my body. By reintroducing gluten to my diet and focusing instead on upping my vegetable intake, I have been doing much better, baruch Hashem. Thanks, Laura, for an excellent and important column.

Name Withheld

12 Wellspring | May 2020

Welcome!

Issue #51: Insider

As a science junkie who hasn’t been doing much serious reading over the past decade or so, I was very excited to see the latest addition to an already fabulous magazine. The first installment did not disappoint. Thank you, Roizy, for an informative piece.

Looking forward to more, Suri J.

On Our Fridge Issue #51: Discussion Board

I found Rabbi Ezra Friedman’s article on fear to be one of the clearest explanations of emunah and fear that I've seen during this tekufah. (And I did a lot of reading and listening.)

Right before Yom Tov, I cut this out and pasted it on my fridge:

“As human beings, no matter our age or intellect, we crave stability. We need to

Quick Question

Q

I wake up in the morning sneezing, coughing, and with tearing eyes. I know I’m experiencing the seasonal allergies, and I would like to know what you advise.

Allergy season has definitely started, as the trees are budding and reaching full bloom. When the symptoms are intense, you may need to take vitamins for allergies two to three times a day, as well as eliminate dairy and citrus from your diet. Washing fruits and peeling them is also important.

I have found that a very big trigger for symptoms are cleaning products and Lysol, which are being used in abundance these days. Eliminate strong-smelling and chemical-laden cleaning supplies from your household, using more natural supplies to disinfect and keep your home clean and safe. Of course, make sure to get eight hours of sleep.

Drinking water also helps cleanse the body.

A

Take care, Chaya Tilla (Tina) Brachfeld, RN, health kinesiologist

Although we celebrated Yom Tov all on our own, without any of our married children or grandchildren, we had a very special Yom Tov. I believe a lot of it was thanks to this message. We allowed ourselves to grieve, to feel the pain. And so, we were also able to feel gratitude and joy for what we are baruch Hashem blessed with. There was a lot of crying, but also a lot of happy moments.

With much appreciation, Mrs. Perel K.

Monsey, New York

Not So With Spelt Issue #51: Tidbits

Although I have many favorite columns in your magazine, I especially enjoy the interesting nuggets of info in Tidbits. In the Pesach issue, the writer cited eight foods that are known to bring on sleep. The second on the list was bread/matzah. She wrote, “Carbs cause blood glucose levels to elevate rapidly (which explains that sudden burst of energy upon consumption). But when glucose levels start to drop back down, you’ll likely experience an energy crash that will leave you ready for a nap.

Processed carbs are especially problematic, while whole grain breads are less likely to leave you feeling sluggish.”

This may be true for wheat, but I would like to let your readers know that since we’ve switched to using whole spelt flour in challah and buying spelt matzah for Pesach, we’ve been feeling much less tired during and after our

meals. (We haven’t gotten such positive results from white spelt.)

Adina H.

Passaic, New Jersey

Concerned About the Eggs Issue #51: From the Editor

I was moved to tears by editor Shiffy Friedman’s letter. With so much pain and chaos going on in our lives, reading this gave me the inspiration to focus on what we do have, to appreciate the essence of Pesach, the essence of life. It’s true that I ended up spending Pesach away from my parents and siblings, with an emotionally absent spouse and children who are quite a handful, but I was able to make the choice to experience Pesach for what it is — a Yom Tov that celebrates our liberation not only from

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinions of the letter writers and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

know that the supermarket will be open and that its shelves will be stocked. We need to know that the doctors and hospitals are available and capable of helping us. We need it for our nefesh.” Then, because my husband lost four friends and one mentor to the virus, I added, “As human beings, we need to know that people don’t die on us just like that.”

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 13

Springboard

Letters

Mitzrayim, but from the thoughts that hold us hostage.

Shiffy, did you end up getting eggs? I know this challenge pales in comparison to everything else, but I can’t imagine Pesach without this basic staple! Please let me know.

Thinking about you, A grateful reader, M. L.

P.S. I was happy to hear that your father is out of hospital. I hope he’s doing well.

Dear M. L., Thanks so much for your concern.

I’m touched.

Baruch Hashem, my husband showed up at the supermarket at just the right moment — as the rationed trays of eggs were being rolled out. Four minutes later, there was not a tray left.

More importantly, I’m also happy to report that my father, zul zein gezunt, has baruch Hashem recovered from the virus.

And thank you for sharing your story of courage with me and our readers. May Hashem continue you to grant you the kochos to find the beauty in the life you’re living and to send you your personal yeshuah.

Shiffy Friedman

14 Wellspring | May 2020

On Genetic Transmission

Issue #51: Special Theme Section

I read your feature “Condition of Tradition” with much interest. The accounts were sad, yet truly inspiring. I think it’s important to point out that almost everyone in our society has some recessive “faulty” gene, but since most medical conditions need to be inherited by both parents, with the help of genetic testing, many illnesses are prevented. It’s important to understand this distinction when labeling any diagnosis as genetic, and I find that many people are confused about the topic. To clarify, the people featured in the accounts seem to have a dominant genetic disease, a condition that can be passed on even if only one parent has the gene. But then there are a plethora of hereditary conditions that are autosomal recessive inheritance, a condition that both parents must carry in order to pass on the faulty gene and for the condition to have a chance of presenting itself. Obviously, these conditions are preventable with proper genetic testing.

Name Withheld

Not Just for Celiac Issue #51: HealthEd

When reading Laura Shammah’s informative article about going gluten-free, I was waiting to read (or

at least for some mention) of the correlation between IBS and gluten. Surprisingly though, there was none. As a sufferer of IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), I did much research on the topic, and there’s so much evidence that supports the connection between IBS and gluten.

Additionally, the majority of IBS patients who have tried going off gluten experience tremendous relief and see a major difference. Is it yet another common myth we believe in, or was the lack of mention in the article not intentional?

C. Green

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN responds:

Thank you for reaching out. The article you’re referring to was discussing gluten particulars, and which individuals benefit from a diet that is totally free of gluten. I do agree that many suffering from IBS also benefit from being on a gluten-free diet, but that is not the only factor that offers them relief. Many find relief following the FODMAP diet, of which gluten is just one component. I believe that IBS should be treated on a one-toone basis. Interestingly, I actually have a couple of clients who actually find relief in gluten products. Some can have dairy, some cannot. Some can eat spinach and actually eat kale, while for others, that would cause a flare-up for days.

For those with IBS, it’s not a cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all diet.

Springboard

Letters

So Is Thin In? Body Image Still Under Discussion Issue #51: Wellbeing Feature Due to the overwhelming response to the feature on intuitive eating, we’re featuring some of the letters in this space. What’s your opinion on the matter? We’d love to hear from you!

Dismayed by the Reality It appears that the question on the cover of your fabulous Pesach issue, Is Thin Still In?, is unfortunately a resounding “yes.”

Based on the results of the survey, kudos to the respondents’ honesty — while we know that our essence is of utmost value, we’re still getting carried away. While all of this bothers me very much, I was most dismayed to see that a whopping 78% judge people by their appearance.

I can’t speak for any of the respondents, only for myself, but reading through the well-designed questions provided me with a reality check. I consider myself a spiritual, frum woman, who is aware of my value as a bas melech and yet, I can’t help but be deeply obsessed by my appearance. And I can’t help but judge other women too. As some respondents note, they see overweight people as “not having it together,” which is so rude, in addition to not being true. It really bothers me that this is so. I hope you can address this in future articles.

Thanks for a magazine that addresses very relevant, important topics in the community.

Name Withheld

Book Info After years of dieting and realizing that it’s simply not working for me (constant weight 16 Wellspring | May 2020

gain and too many negative emotions around food), I was fascinated to read about the intuitive eating approach. What a refreshing, true perspective on such a central part of our lives. I would love to read the book Gila Glassberg referred to in her informative Q&A to understand this more. What’s its title and who’s the author?

Gila Glassberg responds: Thanks for reaching out.

The book I was referring to is titled Intuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.

Be Kind to Yourself I loved the article on body image. That’s because I felt like I was hearing from women who understand me. I am overweight and very upset about it. Very, very upset. The concept of accepting myself as I am sounds beautiful in theory, but, to be very honest, I can’t see myself doing that. I just want to be thin.

I like what Ann Sweeney, a dietitian whose quotes I find uplifting, recently wrote on the topic: “You are allowed to be both committed to moving away from diet culture and desiring the outcomes that culture promises.

You can want food freedom and feel safest with food rules. You can know your worth is

not based on your body and wish to change it, still. Be kind.”

L. J.

Welcome Weight Gain

It’s ironic that I actually became interested in intuitive eating after I’d lost copious amounts of weight. I was as stick thin I’d always wished I could be, and you’d think I’d be thrilled at having “made it.” But it was then that I realized how unhappy I was. I felt restricted and controlled, not so much by what others were telling me to eat or not to eat, but by the standards I’d set for myself in my head.

Before I got more acquainted with the topic, I scoffed at the concept. I believed that, especially as Yidden, boundaries are good for us. I saw intuitive eating as yet another angle of the liberal movement, urging us to tap into our “free for all” desires. The truth is that it’s really, really not that. As Rena Reiser points out, intuition is not impulse. The two terms are not even related.

I’ve gained back some weight, but (is it a but?) I’ve never felt so good in my life. I feel human. I feel free. I can make my own choices. I don’t have to weigh and measure and overthink every decision I make.

At the same time, I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice. While there’s a child in

With appreciation for a terrif ic publication,

bar, but because I want to be able to make my own choices. But what can I do if thinness is so important to me? The idea of being my own boss is too frightening for me, but it’s certainly intriguing. I would love to hear more about it.

Name Withheld

R. Ginsburg

A Matter of Perspective

Ever the inquisitive woman, I’ve read up not only on every kind of diet but also on the intuitive eating (IE) approach, which is obviously at the other extreme. In the article, the women who’ve turned to IE report that it helped them feel liberated. However, I believe it’s important to note that for others, liberation comes in the form of restriction.

Think of the Torah as the perfect example.

Having certain guidelines is liberating. Of course, when a diet is followed in an emotionally unhealthy manner, it becomes very restrictive. But, when the individual sees the meal plans as a guideline that will help her feel good about herself, what’s wrong with that? It simply helps guide her toward nourishing her body.

I believe that a lot of this depends on perspective. While one person can feel liberated when on a diet, another feels that way when she’s not.

Baila D.

Diet Police in My Head

What a loaded topic. Thanks so much for addressing this.

My head has been spinning since I read the article on body image. I can’t stop noticing how the diet police lives in my head.

I’m quite thin, actually, and consider myself “into health.”

But, if I’m truthful with myself, it’s all about my size. Before I eat anything, I subconsciously ask myself, “Will this make me gain weight or not?” I’m afraid to gain even one pound. At the same time, I keep thinking about my next meal. I say all the right things, but inside, I feel really deprived.

No, one square of chocolate, as a nutritionist once taught me to have, doesn’t really help. Not because I want to eat the whole

Am I an Addict?

I read about Rena Reiser and her intuitive eating approach with much interest. In theory, it sounds amazing that every individual has the ability to tap into their intuition to know which food choices are right for them at every time. But here’s my question. Can’t it be that some people are addicted to food to the extent that they have to abstain completely from trigger foods like sugar in order to lead a normal life? They simply are not in control.

I would love to hear Rena’s response.

Thanks for an enlightening read,

A self-professed food addict (or maybe not?)

Rena Reiser responds:

Thank you for your question! This is a hot topic in our generation, on the minds of many people. The clinical answer to your question is that the science of food addiction is very inconclusive. A lot of great research has come out about how we look at addictions in general, and pointing in the direction that perhaps with the right amount of meaning in life, an addiction has less of a stronghold on a person. Additionally, much of the research done on trigger foods doesn’t take into account restriction of those foods.

As we know, the more we restrict something, the more of an appeal it has.

Okay, that’s the dry, clinical answer. I love to dig deeper, and since you asked for my response, here’s where I would go with a client.

You signed off as “a self-professed food addict (or maybe not?)”. It seems to me that you’re open to considering the idea that you’re not.

Perhaps completely abstaining from certain foods hasn’t led you to the result you wanted: to lead a normal life. Perhaps your life doesn’t feel totally normal. It may feel chaotic inside, a struggle, distracted from

what’s truly important to you. If you choose to not eat sugar, and it’s an easy choice for you, and your life feels focused, fulfilled, and enjoyable, then great! If it’s a constant struggle for you, you may want to figure out how much the struggle is worth, and find a different way to find equilibrium and tranquility.

Wishing you much hatzlachah as you navigate your journey to leading a normal life.

My Friend’s Apology

On the first night of Chol Hamoed, I got an apology phone call from my friend. Ever since the early days of our friendship about two decades ago, weight was a frequent topic of conversation for us — or make that for me. She’s one of those girls who has been effortlessly thin all her life. And me, well, not so much. I’ve been on this diet and that diet and then the other one, desperate to find the one that would finally work for me. Until today, I haven’t been successful. I know all the rules of nutrition and find the advice of nutritionists redundant — who doesn’t know that lean proteins, fruits, and veggies are the secret to weight loss and everything else they promise? Still, not only haven’t I been able to keep my weight down, but I’m practically consumed with my current state.

Every time I speak to this friend of mine, this very prominent struggle manages to come up in the conversation. Whether it’s before a wedding and I’m telling her, “You’re so lucky you don’t have to go on another crash diet,” or at the start of a new season, “You don’t know what it means to just go and buy something nice to wear!” to my pre-summer stresses and everything in between — she’s heard it all. On a good day, she’ll tell me, “You know you’re beautiful at any size.

You know how loved you are.” But when I’d be stressing out too much, she could say, “Why are you making such a big deal about this? You have so much going for you! So you’re not a size six, who cares.”

And now I got a phone call from her. For the first time in her life, she told me, she could understand my obsession. So thank you for that incredible feature. Now I wish I can just get rid of it once and for all!

G. Kirsch

Lakewood, New Jersey Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 17

Any health information, advice, or suggestions published here are the opinions of the letter writers and are not independently investigated, endorsed, or validated by Wellspring. Always seek the advice of a qualified health professional or medical practitioner regarding any medical advice, condition, or treatment.

me that still loves chocolate and ice cream, I have also developed an appreciation for a healthy lifestyle that stems from a want, not a need. I implore every woman who feels tangled up in diet culture to take the courage and explore another world.

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

Do I Really Have A Choice in The Matter?

Just because we’re obligated, doesn’t mean we can’t choose it

N

Nearly two thousand years ago during the days of Sefirah, a plague rocked the Jewish world. Regarding the passing of the saintly talmidim of Rabi Akiva, Chazal tell us: “Shelo nahagu kavod zeh bazeh, they did not show respect one to another” (Yevamos 62b).

Of course, every single one of those holy men was a giant in Torah and avodah. Had they lived today, they would each be a gadol not only of their own city, but of the entire Jewish world, said Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l.

It is impossible for us to fathom their greatness.

Hence, the sefarim give various explanations to help us understand the words of the Gemara regarding the reason for their untimely passing. Perhaps it was because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is exponentially more stringent with the conduct of tzaddikim.

Others propose that through their mussar, they may have slightly diminished in their respect for their fellow Jew. Whatever the understanding may be, all commentators agree — as the Gemara clearly states— that the reason behind that pandemic was in relation to ahavas Yisrael. Now

18 Wellspring | May 2020

that we are in the Sefirah period, especially that we’re currently experiencing a devastating mageifah of our own, Rachmana litzlan, we may want to take the time to ponder this topic, to enrich our understanding of the common verse, “V’ahavta lerei'acha kamocha” (Vayikra 19:18).

You’re aware of your faults, but you’re choosing to see beyond them by focusing on what there is to love.

Making It Real

How can we elevate our level of ahavas Yisrael? When we bear a grudge against another, we often have quite a valid reason for doing so. People may be hurtful to us. They may be treating us in a way that leaves us feeling abandoned or rejected. Their deeds could really be causing us pain. Or, they may have a deep flaw that is affecting us in a very profound way. How can we love them? Does the Torah expect us to deny what we’re really feeling in our heart, to pretend that we love those whom we don’t?

Obviously, if the Torah requires us to love our fellow Jews with all our heart, we must be capable of doing so. It’s not only lip service; it’s not about playing a game. It could be very real. But how?

When an individual is forced into a certain circumstance, the pleasure of that situation disappears.

The Torah offers us direction in the word kamocha. Just as you love yourself in spite of your own flaws, you have the ability to do the same with your fellow Jew. You’re aware of your faults, but you’re choosing to see beyond them by focusing on what there is to love. It’s what you choose to focus on that warrants the final outcome.

The Torah is essentially establishing a profound concept through the requirement to love our fellow Jew just as we love ourselves. When we merit extracting this understanding, we come away with a lesson that can improve various areas in our life.

What is this idea? We’re accustomed to thinking that once we’re obligated to do something, we can’t fulfill it through our own choice. If I must, then I have no choice. I can't choose. Whether I must visit the doctor, pay a bill, or call my child’s teacher, once this is something I am required to do, I can’t make a choice whether or not to do it anymore. My will seemingly has no role. But why does this erroneous understanding matter?

The problem, we well know, is that when an individual is forced into a certain circumstance, the pleasure of that situation disappears. Instead, we may feel sub-

servient and repulsed. Even if you would serve someone a sumptuous, gourmet, five-star meal, but you would command him to consume it, he would, in essence, be forcing the food down his throat, with no appetite at all.

If an individual is quarantined in a room with the most breathtaking view, he may actually find the panorama suffocating, because he’s quarantined there, with no choice. There’s no pleasure in a circumstance that is forced.

In this vein, every time we engage in a deed that we feel forced to do, we're unable to extract any pleasure from doing it.

When we live in this schema, we deprive ourselves of so much joy.

But here’s where the Torah's chiddush comes into play. It’s the one truth that can change our lives around, and although it sounds too good to be true, it is true — and real, and absolute: Even when I am obligated, I can also choose. Contrary to how we may have viewed them, obligation and choice are not mutually exclusive. Even when I am commanded to perform a certain deed, to feel a certain way, to think in a certain direction, I still have the capability to choose it. I still have the capacity to find the place within myself that wants this — because it’s there.

Let’s take tefillah as an example. Every male Yid over the age of bar mitzvah is obligated to daven three times a day. That’s not something we can choose to do or not. If I’m not aware that I can choose this, I may find myself performing the deed reluctantly more often than not.

However, if I understand that even when I am mechuyav to do so, I can actively make the choice to do so. This is what I want; I can find the pleasure in the required deed.

Choosing that which is required at first seems contradictory. But this concept is best understood when we observe it in our own lives. The more we choose to do what we’re obligated to do, the more pleasure we find in fulfilling the mitzvos.

With this understanding, we can appreciate what happened when the Yidden reaccepted the Torah from love following neis Purim. If they had already been obligated to observe it at that point, what difference did their renewed conviction make? But, now we understand that when we approach Yiddishkeit with a desire to observe it, with love, even if we’re obligated, the experience is entirely different.

When we fulfill it purely from obligation, we fulfill it without joy. We feel forced. On the contrary, when we choose it despite being obligated, it’s a rich, fulfilling, pleasur-

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 19

Well Informed

Torah Wellspring: Spiritual Health

come than now. If we’d been told just a few months ago that our borders would be shut off for travel, we’d have felt trapped immediately. Now, not only is that the case with our borders, but also, we’ve been bombarded with way more impactful restrictions as well, including being locked out of our shuls, having our children out of school for what will soon be two whole months, being forced to stay indoors, and being told to avoid all nonessential shopping.

When we’re forced to stay home, to isolate ourselves, we can endure a suffocating experience, feeling choked and imprisoned.

able Yiddishkeit. In every mitzvah we perform, this naaseh v'nishma is the call Hashem wants to hear from each of us.

It’s making the active choice to engage in a deed that we’re obligated to perform.

This may sound like some kind of cognitive trick, but in essence this is a decision that emanates from a very deep place. It’s a decision to surrender to the situation as it is through choosing it.

While applying this takes work, it is not that difficult if one really desires it.

How Can I Love Him?

With this understanding, we can make sense of the commandment to love our fellow Jew like ourselves. How can I love a person of whom I harbor negative feelings? In other words, I am forced by my feelings into a situation of hate and rage, certainly not love. But, with the above understanding—that there is always room for choice, no matter which situation we are in—free will comes into play here too. Yes, it is within my capacity to focus on the aspects that engender my negative feelings toward him or to choose to love him, just as we choose to see beyond our own faults in order to love

ourselves.

Of course, there will always be individuals who are easier to love. Nevertheless, we still have the ability to make the choice to love and respect those who aren’t as easy to adore. Whether it’s our children, family members, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, or any other members of Klal Yisrael, we can do this.

In general, keeping this concept in mind at all times makes life so much more pleasant. For example, when you’re stuck in traffic, in line at the supermarket, or more appropriately for this time, stuck with the children at home, the predicament you are in is not in your control.

Still, you can make the choice to be there.

You can proclaim, internally, “I choose to be here right now.”

Or, let’s say you’re performing a chesed no one else can do (such as helping your spouse or taking care of your children!), so obviously you must do it. Yes, it’s true that you’re obligated to do it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t also choose to do this. When it’s just an obligation, it’s a burden. When it’s your choice, you derive pleasure from the giving.

This thought couldn’t be more wel-

When we’re forced to stay home, to isolate ourselves, we can endure a suffocating experience, feeling choked and imprisoned. Who wants to feel so locked in? At the same time, we can make the choice to accept the situation. This does not necessarily eradicate all the discomforts involved, but it certainly minimizes them.

It enables us to draw the pleasure that we could have at this time.

In every unpleasant circumstance, there is always good. The only way we can experience that is when we choose to accept.

For example, at a time like now, we can see it as an opportunity to foster a deeper relationship with our spouse and children. We have an occasion to appreciate the gifts we currently have, such as our health, as well as the comforts we don’t have now that we may have taken for granted — such as the ability to travel, to daven in a shul, and to go about our daily lives without oppression. We can notice the kindness of our fellow Yidden. We can appreciate davening at our own pace and learning on our own schedule. To see all of this, we must first make the choice to accept the circumstances we are in.

Even if it appears that we’re forced, we still have the koach of bechirah, free choice.

Whether it’s choosing to love our fellow Yid or choosing to embrace a circumstance that’s less than ideal, when we make that choice for good, we experience so much more pleasure in our lives. May Hashem help us find the ability within to choose whatever he sends us and to surrender to the discomfort in these situations. In this way, we will eventually see the light that is inherent in everything that happens, all of which is for our good.

Rabbi Ezra Friedman welcomes questions and comments on this column. Please write to rabbiefriedman@wellspringmagazine.com.

20 Wellspring | May 2020

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Well Informed

Spiritual Eating By Rabbi Eli Glaser, CNWC, CWMS

Beware of Indulgence Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai’s Plea

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The Sifri (a commentary on the Chumash compiled by Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai) discusses the consequences of an unhealthy relationship with physical desires of Olam Hazeh.

In Parshas Ha’azinu, the Torah tells us, “Vayishman Yeshurun

vayevat, the Yidden became fat and kicked” (Devarim 32:15).

The Sifri writes that just like the generation of Mashiach will be spiritually compromised by this errant behavior (which the verse in Ha’azinu is referring to), so too, the following historical tragedies were rooted from the same source: the generation of the flood, the Tower of Bavel, the people of Sedom, the complaints of the Yidden in the desert, and the exile of the 10 Shevatim.

As I’ve previously written regarding Purim, Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai and his students understood that the reason the Jewish people were subject to the gezeirah at the hands of Haman was because of their participation in the grand feast of King Achashveirosh, displaying excessive desire for physical indulgence, which is completely contrary to the core value of being a Jew. The Sifri in Parshas Eikev teaches that the progression from enjoying excess and extravagance to completely forgetting

about Hashem and forgoing a spiritual life is a sudden and slippery slope. As we say in Krias Shema, “And you will eat and be satisfied. Beware lest your heart be seduced and you turn astray and serve other gods and bow to them. Then the wrath of Hashem will blaze against you…” (Devarim 11:15–17).

So too, the Sifri explains, regarding the sin of Cheit Ha’eigel, “The people sat to eat and drink, and they got up to revel...

They have strayed quickly from the way that I have commanded them” (Shemos, 32:6–8).

Harav Yitzchok Sorotzkin, shlita, expounds extensively on this idea: How did Klal Yisrael fall to the level of avoda zarah so fast? They had just received the Torah, and so soon after, they turned their backs on Hashem? This is because of their excess desire for the pleasures of Olam Hazeh.

Over a thousand years ago, says Rav Sorotzkin, the Sifri prophesized about the times of Mashiach, about how our generation would be saturated with Olam Hazeh.

People are losing enjoyment in their avodas Hashem, and are looking to satisfy their empty feelings with more “things.”

“It’s incumbent on parents and teachers,” he says. “We must teach kids while they’re young not to get focused on Olam Hazeh, to understand that we have a different tachlis in life than the secular world.

The Vilna Gaon says that if a Yid doesn’t get used to gashmiyus when he is young, he will naturally crave spirituality. The neshamah of a Yid craves ruchniyus. We extinguish that fire when we go after gashmiyus excessively. We get used to fleeting pleasures and can’t enjoy the true everlasting joy of learning Gemara or doing a mitzvah.”

If we feel that we can’t live without excess pleasures, that lavish simchahs and abundant meals are important to us, says Rav Sorotzkin, then “we should start davening to Hashem. ‘I want to change my lifestyle, I want to live a Torahdig life. Ribbono Shel Olam, help me please, help me have simchah in my avodas Hashem.’ With the help of Hashem, we will be zocheh to have joy, and we will find enjoyment in our ruchniyus.”

Rabbi Eli Glaser is the founder and Director of Soveya. He is certified as a Nutrition/Wellness Consultant and Weight Management Specialist, with 25 years of coaching and counseling experience, and is maintaining a 130-pound weight loss for more than 16 years.

Soveya has offices in Lakewood and Brooklyn, and works with clients via phone and Skype around the world. For more information or to make an appointment, contact Soveya at 732-578-8800, info@soveya.com, or www.soveya.com.

22 Wellspring | May 2020

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Well Informed

Dental Health By Dr. Jacques Doueck, DDS

A VISIT TO THE DENTIST THESE DAYS How coronavirus is impacting our field With the worldwide spread of COVID-19, one of many emotions you may be feeling is fear. And that’s completely understandable. It’s been an unusual and difficult time with a lot of unpredictable changes, including at the dentist.

Before coronavirus, a visit to the dentist was routine. You made an appointment and when you arrived, you may have had to sit in the reception room for 10 minutes. There may have been two or three other people sitting right next to you. You picked up a magazine and read for a few minutes until you were asked to come in.

That has all changed. If you visit the dentist at this time, you’ll notice that social distancing means no one’s sitting right next to you in the waiting room. No more magazines that someone else may have touched. Staggered appointments to avoid too many people in the office at once. Even the deliveries do not come into the office. The medical staff goes out to spray the boxes with disinfectant before bringing them into the office.

When you call to schedule an appointment, the receptionist will ask you some questions to verify that you’re not sick or at-risk as a carrier. You may be asked to wait in your car until the dental staff is ready to see you. Once you come into the office, your temperature will be taken. At

our place, all our team members are also screened every day and their temperature gets taken.

Once you’re seated, you’ll be given a rinse which is highly effective against bacteria and viruses. You’ll also notice that the countertops look very bare, to minimize other sources of possible infection. At our office, we have removed everything except that which is needed for actual dental treatment.

But as far as clinical treatment, things are really not changing that much. Dentists who focus on high-quality care have always taken all the necessary measures to protect your health and that of their team. This pandemic didn’t force us to follow the strictest sterilization protocols; it’s what we’ve done since day one, to protect our valued patients.

The CDC and OSHA protocols followed by reliable dentists help keep the office sterile at all times. This includes wiping down all equipment, surfaces, dental chairs, door knobs, bathroom fixtures, and even waiting-room furniture.

At this time, you’ll see that we’re also wearing protective gear, eyewear, gloves, and N95 masks. And we wash our hands between each patient using the proper medical technique. In these unprecedented times, the safety and wellbeing of our patients and team continue to be our number-one priority.

SCHEDULING A DENTIST APPOINTMENT If you’re scheduling an appointment these days, you will probably be asked: Do you have any symptoms? Have you or an immediate family member been exposed to anyone with a fever, cough, cold, flu-like aches, or fatigue in the last 14 days?” If the answer is yes, you will be asked to reschedule.

For the dentist, the staff, and the patient the return to “normal” will happen in stages.

First priority: Emergencies Second priority: Non-emergency essential services Third priority: Routine and nonessential services If you’ve missed your scheduled dental appointment or have an upcoming appointment that you’re not sure about, call your dentist to reschedule.

Dr. Jacques Doueck has been practicing family dentistry in Brooklyn, New York since 1977, and is a Diplomate of the Academy of Clinical Sleep Disorders Disciplines. He speaks nationally and trains other dentists in oral appliance therapy and state-of-the-art dentistry. Dr. Doueck is a member of the American Dental Association and serves on the District Claims Committee for the state society.

24 Wellspring | May 2020

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Well Informed

Updates in the News By Esther Retek

COVID-19 AT FAULT? Two surprising findings

(that you may want to clip for when life returns to “normal”)

Keep An Eye on the Clock It’s not just what you eat, but when you eat If you’re finding yourself eating way past dinner (read: past midnight) these days, you’re in good company. With so many things still so uncertain, controlling that instinct to reach for that bag of potato chips when your house finally settles down is not a simple feat.

If you’re not planning to stop, you may not want to read on, because the latest study, published in PLOS Biology and conducted by the Vanderbilt University, is only confirming the hazards of midnight snacking.

In the first of the study’s two sessions, participants ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the regular times. In the other session, they skipped breakfast but received an extra meal as a late evening snack. The breakfast (at 8:00 a.m.) and the late evening snack (at 10:00 p.m.) both contained 700 calories and were nutritionally equivalent. Physical activity was also approximately equal during all sessions.

drates instead.

On average, the participants who ate breakfast burned 15 grams more of lipids over 24 hours than those who ate the late-night snack.

Over time, this could lead to significant fat accumulation.

When the participants ate a late-night snack, they broke down less fat than when they consumed the same number of calories at breakfast.The 10:00 p.m. snack delayed the body’s ability to break down fat, causing it to break down carbohy-

But then again, prioritizing is the key. If a chocolate bar at midnight will help keep your spirits up, you may want to save this article for the post-coronavirus era. May it be very soon!

The findings? Despite having a consistent calorie intake and activity level, the researchers found that the timing of food intake had a significant effect on how much fat the participants burned or gained.

26 Wellspring | May 2020

“This confirms that the timing of meals affects how ingested food is used, and that any food ingested prior to bedtime will delay the burning of fat,” says study author, Kevin Kelly.

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Well Informed

Updates in the News

Technology to the Rescue?

Screen time may not be the best entertainment for preschoolers

With so much time spent at home and not much to do, many parents are allowing their children more screen time than usual.

However, even educational, informative, and inspiring content may be accompanied by a significant downside, as a new study in JAMA Pediatrics suggests. Screens, the researchers conclude, may have critical effects on a child’s development when they are exposed to them at an early age.

The researchers handed out flyers to parents at preschools and community events. They recruited 73 children in July 2016 and followed those kids for two-and-a-half years, until January 2019.

During this time, the children attended a campus for 90-minute sessions, where the researchers assessed their ability to “self-regulate:” to plan, control, and monitor their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The researchers asked the children to complete a series of tasks, which included walking slowly along a line on the floor and taking turns to build

28 Wellspring | May 2020

a tower out of blocks.

The researchers also carried out a delayed gratification test in which they asked the children not to open a gift while the researcher left the room for a short period. This test indicated that children who could wait longer for a reward tended to have better outcomes in later life.

They then compared the results from these tasks with information from the parents about screen time. The information included the age at which the children first saw a screen and how long they spent per week on any device.

The results showed that children who began using any screen earlier in life had lower self-regulation abilities and scored lower on the delayed gratification test.

As a result of the findings and as a precautionary measure, Amanda C. Lawrence, the study’s primary author, recommends that parents limit the amount of time preschool children use any devices. Another reason to engage in more hands-on play.

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Well Informed

Dedicated to Health By Esther Retek

1

What motivated you to launch the organization?

Frankly speaking, there wasn’t much in terms of motivation or creativity that propelled me to start the organization. Many people were thinking and talking about such a project, though I didn’t know anyone who’d initiated anything of the sort.

With my classes canceled and nothing much to keep myself busy with, there was no reason not to plunge into this project.

I reached out to Aaron Priven, drafted some plans, and got to work.

Initially, I set out to create a basic flyer just to get my message across. The flyer featured the basic information and my personal cell phone number as the contact info. It was then forwarded

30 Wellspring | May 2020

to my contacts, and from there, it seems to have grown its own wings. The first day, I only received two calls, one asking what we do, and another with a request. To say the least, I was quite discouraged and felt silly continuing with the project.

But word was out, and just two days later, I realized that using my personal number for the project wouldn’t work due to the high call volume. Then, Eli Kalazan, with his experience in the world of chesed, stepped in to set us up properly — establishing a phone line, e-mail, and website. Currently, we service over ten different areas, we have a fleet of over 1,200 volunteers, and receive an overwhelming volume of calls and e-mails daily.

10

Questions for:

Nicole van Amerongen Founder of AmYisrael vs. COVID-19

Am Yisroel vs. Covid 19 in a Nutshell: AmYisrael vs. COVID-19 was founded to assist those in quarantine with running their essential errands and delivering necessities to them.

2

Now that you’ve committed yourself to this impressive project, what does your schedule look like these days?

Although I actually launched the project, from its inception, people eagerly stepped in to help, thus lightening the workload. I work as a dispatcher most of the day, and even when our hotline is not open for calls (it’s open 9 a.m. to 11 p.m.), I still receive calls on my private cell phone from those who saw it in the original flyer, which is still circulating. The other dispatchers — Aliza, Leora, Rachel, Debbie, Yisroel, Baruch,

Leib, and Moshe — also deserve much credit for the time and energy they’re investing. And of course, the volunteers who are actually doing the work make everything possible.

When someone calls the hotline or sends us a request via e-mail, we ask them to provide us with necessary details, such as their address and phone number. We then send out a message to our group of volunteers in that specific area and wait for someone to take the request. We provide the volunteer with the essential information, and they get in touch directly with the recipient. From that point, we only check in to make sure the errand was completed.

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 31

Well Informed

3

How did you gather an impressive fleet of volunteers in such a short time?

Our volunteer base was primarily established by word of mouth and with the bit of advertising we placed. Klal Yisrael is truly ready to be of help whenever they can, and many people, especially those without proper jobs, felt that this was an easy way of finding out about a chesed that needs to be done. We have male and female volunteers, older girls and older boys, too.

Since the volunteers don’t need any experience or background knowledge, they feel that this is something they can do. Of course, health and safety are of our greatest concerns, and we do our utmost to ensure that volunteers are properly protected.

Someone can’t be a volunteer if they have a patient with coronavirus at home. They’re also required to wear proper gear, and most importantly, to have no contact with the people they’re helping out.

4

Can you share with us an inspiring story you witnessed?

A few days ago, at around midnight, I received a call with someone desperately asking us if we can help her friend who’s an apartment all alone, and urgently needs a heater for the apartment. Although I really wanted to be of help, I doubted that any volunteer would be willing to take the call so late. I asked her to please call back first thing in the morning so we could arrange it for her then.

Ten minutes later, she called back and begged me to just ask the volunteers, even if I was sure no one will take the call. Hearing how frantic she was, I sent out a message with the caller’s contact information and then closed my phone for the night. The following morning, I checked in with her to see if anyone had called her, and surprisingly enough, she told me that no less than 15 volunteers had called her. Mi k’amcha Yisrael! Even I underestimated how amazing we Yidden are, and how we so want to help out a Yid in need.

It was also incredible to observe to what degree our volunteers extended themselves to help people out, providing them with the specific item they needed. Many volunteers also formed relationships with the people they helped and continued running their errands privately. One volunteer began doing an official weekly grocery order for an older woman.

Supermarkets were also extremely helpful and made our work so much easier by updating us with their new policies such us delivery minimum amounts, pick-ups, and returns.

Some of them even offered to handle the orders themselves!

32 Wellspring | May 2020

5

What would you wish people would know about your organization?

How much we want to help! Running this organization allowed me to see from up close how hard it is for people to accept help. So many people started their phone calls with excuses and justifications, stammering and explaining “how really we are managing…”, as if they were doing something wrong by calling us. Sadly, there’s such a stigma associated with people asking for help, thus making people so self-conscious about requesting assistance. Being on the giving end made me realize to what extent people want to help others, and that when one is in need, there’s nothing wrong with asking for assistance. Our volunteers are all here to help you — yes, even with seemingly simple tasks — and there’s no need to view it as a disgrace to ask for help.

On a different end, since we seek to maintain the safety regulations, we unfortunately can’t handle requests that require close contact. Although we would really like to assist with requests such as giving people rides, that’s not something we’re equipped to help with.

6

What is the best part of the work you do?

When I look at the diverse communities and people we are serving, I find it exhilarating to see that no matter how different we all are, there’s something unique and intangible binding us together as Yidden. People from completely different circles, who I would probably never speak to or have any contact with, are suddenly the people I spend most of my day communicating with. Furthermore, I'm getting a glimpse of the lives of different people, such as directors of Hatzolah or founders of large organizations, since they constantly reach out to us for help. I consider that a privilege and a bonus on my part.

7

What is the most challenging part of the work you do?

On a personal note, the most challenging part of running this project is to simply let go and let myself just trust in our amazing volunteer staff. Time and again, I get anxious, afraid that no one will take a call — but I'm always proven wrong. Before Pesach especially, when the call volume was abnormally high, it was hard to remain calm and trust that everything will be handled.

Additionally, when we get very detailed requests, such as a certain brand of food from one specific supermarket, it also makes things more complicated, but that too is usually solved. Baruch Hashem, these fears are in vain, as every case is handled to the best of our ability.

8

9

Tell us some feedback you have heard from the people you’ve helped.

Although we constantly receive verbal and written feedback, the best type of response is when I can hear the audible relief in a caller’s voice. When a person calls in and their voice bespeaks tension, apprehension, or loneliness, and then, by stepping in, we can make their day easier, that is the most gratifying of all. Countless callers get so emotional after receiving the help they so desperately needed and thank us profusely.

How has running the organization impact you?

I’m sure many readers can relate to the views I used to have about organizations and chesed in general. I always saw the establishment of these foundations as something insurmountable, and assumed that these places can only be run by efficient big achievers. But now, I’ve realized how performing acts of kindness doesn’t have to mean running a huge organization; it can easily be part of my everyday schedule, and it’s not really too big to do. I observed so many selfless individuals who don’t seem to be making a huge impact, but they’re doing chesed in their own quiet way. Chesed does not have to be done on a large scale to be instrumental in easing someone’s hardship. We’ve had volunteers tell us that they’re stepping into a supermarket now, so if anyone needs anything, they’ll be happy to shop for them too. That’s going out of your way just a little bit, but it’s having someone else in mind, and it really makes a difference to the people who need it. I’ve acquired a whole new understanding helping others.

10

Are there any plans of using this organization as a platform for something else once COVID-19 is behind us?

As of now, there are no plans of expanding in any way. Undoubtedly though, being part of such a wonderful project and observing from up close the impact our small acts can make definitely fueled my desire to pursue something along these lines.

If you would like to request errand help, volunteer, or donate, please visit coronachesed.org or call the hotline at 929-J-CHESED (524-3733).

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Living Well

In Good Shape By Yocheved Freuer

BREATHE YOUR WAY THROUGH 6 breathing techniques to help ease stress

Take a deep breath in. Now let it out. You may notice a difference in how you feel already.

Breathing is a powerful tool we can use to relieve tension, and now that we are more grateful for our breath than ever before, it’s the perfect time to learn some simple breathing exercises. These techniques can make a big difference in your day, so you may want to make them part of your routine.

1 4-7-8 Breathing The 4-7-8 breathing technique, also known as “relaxing breath,” aims to reduce anxiety, assists people in falling asleep, and helps control cravings, according to Dr. Andrew Weil, a pioneer in the field of integrative medicine. Some proponents of this method even claim that it helps people fall asleep in just one minute, leading to its other name, the “asleep in 60 seconds method.” Although scientific research to support this method is limited, anecdotal evidence suggests that this type of deep, rhythmic breathing is relaxing and helps ease people

34 Wellspring | May 2020

into sleep. a) Empty the lungs of air. b) Quietly breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds. c) Hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds. d) Exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a “whoosh” sound, for 8 seconds. e) Repeat the cycle up to 4 times.

2 Progressive Muscle Relaxation

3 Modified Lion's Breath

In this technique, you inhale as you tense a particular muscle group and exhale as you relax it. a) Lie down in a comfortable position. b) Breathe in. Tense the muscles of your feet. c) Breathe out. Release the tension in your feet. d) Breathe in. Tighten your calf muscles.

This method involves exhaling forcefully. a) Sit comfortably. b) Breathe in through your nose, completely filling your abdomen with air. c) When you can't breathe in any more, open your mouth as wide as you can. Exhale with a strong "HA" sound. d) Repeat several times.

e) Breathe out. Relax your calves. f ) Work your way up your body, separately tensing (and then relaxing) each muscle group. Don't forget to include your legs, belly, chest, fingers, arms, shoulders, neck, and face.

4

Roll Breathing

This breathing technique helps you develop full use of your lungs and helps you learn to focus on the rhythm of your breath. You can do it in any position.

But, while you are learning, it is best to lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor, bed, couch, or wherever you are lying. a) Place your left hand on your stomach and your right hand on your chest. b) Practice filling your lower lungs by breathing so that your left hand rises when you inhale, while your right hand remains still. Always breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Repeat 8–10 times. c) Then, add the second step to your breathing: inhale first into your lower lungs as before, and then continue inhaling into your upper chest. Breathe slowly and regularly. As you do so, your right hand will rise and your left hand will fall a little. d) As you exhale slowly through your mouth, make a quiet, whooshing sound as first your left hand and then your right hand fall. Feel the tension leave your body. e) Practice breathing in and out in this way for 3–5 minutes.

Caution: Some people experience dizziness the first few times they try roll breathing. If you begin to breathe too fast or feel lightheaded, slow your breathing. Get up slowly.

5

Morning Breathing

Try this exercise when you arise in the morning. It helps relieve muscle stiffness, clear clogged breathing passages, and provides a boost of energy to combat another day. Use it throughout the day to relieve back tension. a) From a standing position, bend forward from the waist with your knees slightly bent, letting your arms dangle close to the floor. b) As you inhale slowly and deeply, return to a standing position by rolling up slowly, lifting your head last. c) Hold your breath for just a few seconds in this standing position. d) Exhale slowly as you return to the original position, bending forward from the waist. e) Repeat several times.

6

Alternate Nostril Breathing a) Sit down in a comfortable place.

b) Use your right thumb to close the right-hand nostril and inhale slowly through the left. c) Place your right thumb and ring finger around your nose, pinching it closed. Hold your breath in for a moment. d) Use your right ring finger to close your left nostril and exhale through the right, waiting for a moment before you inhale again. e) Inhale slowly through the right nostril. f ) Pinch your nose closed again, pausing for a moment. g) Now, open the left side and exhale, waiting a moment before you inhale again. h) Repeat this cycle of inhaling and exhaling through either nostril up to 10 times. Each cycle should take up to 40 seconds.

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Living Well

Ask the Nutritionist By Shani Taub, CDC

Sizing Up Serving Sizes How much is just right?

Question: I often read and hear about the concept of serving sizes, and although it’s a relatively simple term, I'm not really sure what it means. Yes, I know that it’s defined as the size of my serving (or at least the size that it’s supposed to be) and it’s easily identified in labelled foods, but if I would like to lose weight, how can I know what a decent serving size is for each food group?

Shani’s response: The term serving size is thrown around easily. Most people simply associate it with the “serving size” we find on the nutrition label of packaged foods, or it’s simply defined as “the size of a serving.” More accurately though, a serving size is the amount of a specific food that is enough to satisfy you for one meal.

With this definition, it’s obvious that no two people will have the same serving size for each food group. Although there are general guidelines, I strongly believe that serving sizes need to be customized to accommodate a person’s physique, eating habits, and weight loss or maintenance goal.

Therefore, if you’re interested in assessing your individual

36 Wellspring | May 2020

serving sizes and don’t have the ability to do so on your own, I would recommend that you see a nutritionist. With the help of an expert, a plan can be sketched and adjusted as you move along. I often start off clients with much larger serving sizes, since they are accustomed to eating much more than they really need. Slowly, we reduce the amounts until they adjust to an average serving size.

Different people also need varied serving sizes for the different food groups. For example, some individuals initially need more carbs, and others need more protein. When just starting a food plan, it’s important to strictly adhere to the measurements, and use the proper measuring equipment to ensure you’re sticking to the right amounts. Later on, you become trained to assess a plate on your own, and determine whether the serving size is right for you.

Speaking of serving sizes, a common misconception I repeatedly hear is that fruits and vegetables are “free.” When I urge my clients to check out the nutritional facts of fruits and vegetables, they’re in for a surprise. The average fruit serving contains 80–100 calories and between 1–3 teaspoons of sugar — albeit natural — per 100 grams. Vegetables do contain much less in calories than fruits, but every one of them, including cucumbers, contains calories. A bag of broccoli contains a whopping 63 grams of carbs! It’s certainly better to fill up on those food groups instead of processed white carbs, but bear in mind that everything you eat counts and using

food for constant munching indicates that food is used for something other than nutrition. The only “freebie” is water! If you feel hungry after your portions (with proper serving sizes figured out by a nutritionist), then you can always have two glasses of water and see how you feel afterward.

As I often reiterate in this column, it’s important keep in mind that it takes 20 minutes for the brain to process fullness properly, and before that time period has passed since you ate, it’s impossible for you to assess if you are still feeling hungry or if the serving size you’ve had is just right for you.

One Plate Rule When I outline a food plan for a client with its proper serving sizes, many times, they have a similar reaction. “How in the world will I stick to an exact rationed portion? No seconds? No cleaning plates?”

Most individuals need time to get accustomed to their new eating habits. As busy adults, very few of us take the time to properly sit down to — let alone prepare — a complete meal. But despite our hectic, disoriented lifestyles, my best tip to help you stick with serving sizes is the “one plate” rule. That is, use one plate for your three food groups, with vegetables comprising

approximately two thirds of the plate, and carbs and protein the third.

The benefits of sticking to this rule are that there’s no reaching for more, you don’t eat less than you’re supposed to, and you don’t divide your meals. This inevitably results in better eating discipline and allows you to get into the habit of eating proper meals at their proper times.

Although it is hard to get into the habit of using the one plate rule, I truly believe it to be worthwhile.

Please send your questions to the nutritionist to info@wellspringmagazine.com.

Shani Taub, CDC, has been practicing as a certified nutritionist in Lakewood for almost a decade, meeting with clients in person and on the phone. She also owns the highly popular Shani Taub food line, which carries healthy, approved, pre-measured foods and delicacies sold at supermarkets and restaurants.

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Living Well

Feature

38 Wellspring | May 2020

IN HIDING While the current quarantine is far from fun, we have the consolation of knowing that we’re all in this together. But what about patients who are forced into protective isolation as a life-saving measure? A peek into their lonely lives.

Goldy Swimer

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Living Well

Feature

COVID-19 HAS MADE ISOLATION APPLICABLE TO US ALL; WHERE EACH DOORSTEP IS AN ISLAND FOR ITSELF, THE HOUSE NEXT DOOR AS REMOTE AS THE NEXT ISLAND ACCESSIBLE ONLY BY BOAT. Yet, in the great age of connection, as hashtags such as #separatelytogether indicate, isolation is not so isolating anymore.

With the advent of communication and the knowledge that we’re in this together, your stay in quarantine can be managed with a video call to Bubby, distance learning, and tent-pitching Indians in the disarrayed living room.

Above all, the knowledge that our loved ones are, with Hashem’s help, healthy, makes us feel grateful. COVID-19 has redefined our priorities: so long as we are healthy, we are content.

Throughout it all, we know that this is finite. This quarantine will eventually end. These days will pass. There will be a time when you will recount the tales of the Great Quarantine of 2020 (“We made a bowling alley with shoes! We got food boxes from school!

We played hooky all day!”). But for some, isolation and quarantine are a fact of life. Not of the cartoon-posting, game and recipe exchange variety. Before social distancing and quarantines became modern lexicon, for many, this is the only reality they know.

These patients are indefinitely confined in protective isolation, in their homes and/or hospital rooms, for their own safety — to protect them from outside viruses and pathogens. Source isolation differs, since it’s established in protection of others, so they should not contract the disease the patient is suffering from.

Generally, our immune systems are in a constant state of flux, battling pathogens large and small, some of which we may never know about. Bacteria, viruses, parasites, and fungi all receive a good walloping from a robust immune response. But for some, their immune system is either low-functioning or not functioning at all.

What will result in a minor sniffle or even develop into the flu in a healthy individual can be deadly to another. Hence the need for protective isolation — for a long, long time.

Boy in a Bubble In patients with Severe Combined Immunodeficiency (SCID), the immune system is missing T- cells, which are crucial to the function of a healthy immune response. T-cells are the “keys” that unlock the immune system. Essentially, this genetic disease leaves sufferers stripped of any immune protection.

In the 1970s, SCID got its time in the limelight when the plight of one such sufferer, David Vetter, was publicized. David

40 Wellspring | May 2020

spent about 20 seconds of his life out in the world and was then ensconced in a sterile plastic bubble, designed by NASA engineers.

Doctors originally surmised that David would outgrow his immune deficiency. Ultimately, David spent the rest of his life in that bubble, earning him the nickname “Bubble Boy.” For twelve years, David spent nearly all his time in that bubble.

NASA designed a custom suit for David, allowing him to venture outside occasionally. With 26 pre-hookup steps, outfitting David was a gargantuan challenge, but one the Vetters embraced — for that was the only way Carol Ann, David’s mother, was able to hold her son. But for David, the prospect of venturing outside and being vulnerable to the elements was too daunting. The jaunts that would give him a link to the outside world were discontinued.

At that time, the only known cure for SCID sufferers was a bone marrow transplant. With the world cheering him on, and his sister as his donor, David’s body rebuilt its immune system from scratch.

Sadly, the ecstasy did not last. David succumbed two months later of lymphoma, which was introduced into his system by the EpsteinBarr virus. The Bubble Boy experiment had failed.

The Boy in a Bubble, as The New York Times put it, “moved a world he couldn’t touch.” Though Bubble Boy Syndrome, as it is colloquially known, is rare (only 57 new cases are diagnosed each year in the US), it has received attention in the media and academic world. Babies are now screened for SCID, and fortunately, a bone marrow transplant succeeds 90 percent of the time. Gene therapy has produced promising advances as well.

When Darkness is Your Friend For individuals suffering from XP (Xeroderma Pigmentosum), a rare genetic skin condition, isolation takes on a different form: The sun is their enemy; those diagnosed with XP cannot tolerate any sun exposure. The disease is caused by a defect in DNA repair mechanism that leaves patients’ bodies unable to mend damage caused by ultraviolet rays. Even minor sun exposure for as little as two minutes can result in blisters, third-degree sunburns, and, ultimately, deadly skin cancers. Most people with XP will develop skin cancers in the course of their lives, caused by exposure prior to their diagnosis. Though XP is rare — the classic one in a million statistic — life expectancy for individuals is reduced, especially for those who neglected proper precautions during childhood. Many

also present with neurodevelopmental challenges. Modern medicine has not yet produced a cure for afflicted children.

after his birth. My immediate instinct was to quit nursing,” Esther remembers. “I was afraid to bond with a child I might lose.”

Whereas most humans crave sunlight, those afflicted with XP long for the sunset. Daylight means indoors and darkness — no exceptions, ever. UV rays cannot be permitted to penetrate through the windows, necessitating special UV film and heavy drapes.

Something as seemingly minor as an open door can result in burns for such children. XP children do not get to experience a normal childhood – they can’t join a regular school or even enjoy a playground.

Doctors, however, disagreed. Mother’s milk is always best, but especially for a severely immunocompromised child. “At a certain point, I wanted to have my friend pump for me — it was getting too stressful — but my doctor didn’t allow it. He argued that you never know which kid in her house is sick, and it was my antibodies that Shlomo needed.”

Camp Sundown, a summer camp for XP children, aims to give such children a chance to be kids — albeit with a twist. Run by Dan and Caren Mahar, Camp Sundown is the product of their desire to help children like their daughter Katie. Children and their parents hunker down by day and come alive at night, much as nightblooming flowers do. When the UV monitor reads zero, children run around, play sports, swim, and do everything normal kids do — all under the cover of darkness.

SHORT-TERM, BUT ENDLESS While some conditions, like SCID and XP, require lifelong isolation, other circumstances necessitate isolation for the short term. Patients undergoing chemotherapy and those prior and posttransplant are two common categories of such circumstances.

Transplant Trauma Esther is no stranger to isolation. Way before Purell, masks, and hand washing hygiene were memes on social media, Esther was a pro.

“My son Shlomo was diagnosed with leukemia four weeks

After six months of treatment, Shlomo came home. Life continued, but then at age four, he relapsed. This time, it would take a bone marrow transplant to cure him. His donor? His sister.

“At last, we were taking Shlomo into the hospital for pre-op testing and isolation. The day that he was admitted was the day Baila, his donor, remained home from school. I was so torn. Where should I put myself first?”

Esther credits a dedicated sister-in-law and myriad organizations for children and their families in crisis for being a lifeline during that frenetic time.

For the transplant to be effective, Shlomo’s immune system had to be reduced down to zero. The condition in which a patient has no, or a very low, immune system is known as neutropenia. After the lifesaving marrow is transfused, the patient’s immune system is rebuilt from scratch. Isolation is not simply recommended; it’s mandatory.

How do you entertain a lively, yet very sick, four year old boy?

“Well, Uncle Moishy.” Esther laughs. “Definitely, lots of Uncle Moishy. But we were able to have volunteers come by as long as they suited up to their eyeballs. After the whole ordeal was behind us, Shlomo’s rebbeim were amazed how he related to authority as equals. Of course he did. For most of his formative years, adults were his company!”

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Living Well

Feature

In the past, bone marrow patients were completely isolated and disconnected from the outside world. Later medical literature, however, determined that those in complete neutropenic isolation presented with depression and anxiety symptoms. So long as proper precautions are met and exposure is limited, researchers concluded, some outside contact is not only allowed, but sanctioned, particularly in pediatric patients.

Although Shlomo was allowed visitors, he was unable to use the hospital playroom because other children played there too. Later, post discharge, car rides to and from the hospital proved to be a challenge: no other passengers were able to ride along.

“I know we’re all in isolation now,” Esther says, “but those in protective medical isolation are not ‘in it together.’ Watching a child watch his peers board the school bus while he stays home is heartbreaking.

Seeing children ride bikes on a glorious June afternoon from a window is distressing.

Missing family simchahs that siblings are attending is painful.”

Ellly, a bone marrow recipient, emphasizes that isolation is unfortunately a fact of life for most chemotherapy patients already prior to transplantation. “By the time I was ready for transplant, quarantine — a term that most have not encountered until 2020 — was already a way of life for me. The hospital is isolating. Full stop. Yes, communication has made it easier, but being a patient in a cancer ward? Nothing more disconnecting and desolate than that.”

Similarly, when Esther’s Shlomo was inadvertently exposed to the chicken pox, he landed up with a four-day ICU stay. “That was not fun,” Esther says grimly. A standard childhood disease can be lethal for immunocompromised patients. “This was the first time around, when he was tiny. We quite nearly lost him.”

The first hundred days post-transplant are the most vulnerable period for transplant recipients.

Elly was told to be super vigilant.

For Esther’s children, Shlomo’s transplant meant no Oneg Shabbos, no playdates of any sort. Anyone who stepped through their door had to use Purell and remove their shoes.

IF A FOOD PACKAGE WAS OPENED AND I WOULD WANT TO FINISH IT LATER, WE STORED IT IN EXTRA-LARGE EXAM GLOVES TO KEEP THE FOOD GERM-FREE.

Of course, precautions in the transplant ward were more rigorous than in the regular wards. “I watched loads of DVDs. The nurses were actually my company! When I did get visitors, scrubbing up was the rule.” Elly’s white blood cell count, as in many chemotherapy patients, was so low, it was negative!

Elly was instructed to follow a low microbial diet. Because any contaminant would wreak havoc on her nascent immune system, refraining from raw fish and meat as well as fresh fruit and vegetables was imperative. Any item that could potentially transmit food-borne pathogens was eliminated. “Takeout from a sushi place was off limits,” Elly remembers. “And if something was opened and I would want to finish it later, we stored it in extra-large exam gloves to keep the food germ-free.”

Most frightening for both Elly and Esther was the specter of their bubble being penetrated. “My son came home one day with a note from school about a potential measles exposure,” Elly recounts.

42 Wellspring | May 2020

“I was hospitalized for three days until I received antibodies as a precaution.”

For Esther, the current isolation in comparison to the past is a cakewalk.

“Hatzolah actually called me in early March if I had any masks to donate.

I did. I still have a whole stock!” She remembers the Purims and Pesachs of the past: “it was social distancing at its finest.”

Esther stresses if it “takes a village to raise a child,” it certainly takes a village to cure a child. “Every organization that occupied my kids, every friend that sent meals, every sister that arranged the tangled schedule — that’s what kept us sane.”

Radioactive Iodine Therapy When Fraidy learned of her 23-year old son’s thyroid cancer diagnosis, she threw herself into researching every last detail. “I felt that if I’d be more knowledgeable, doctors would tell me more.

I plugged away hours on my computers with Chaim Shalom’s lab results, and with Doctor Google’s help, I thought I knew approximately what was coming my way.”

Thyroid cancer, Fraidy stresses, is not a death sentence. “Baruch Hashem, it’s treatable with excellent success rates. Our path was a bit less typical, but manageable nevertheless.”

Surgery for thyroidectomy, removal of the thyroid, came first.

What was initially set to be a four hour surgery ended up being eight-and-a-half hours. “There’s this large computer screen, much like the arrival and departure boards in airports. Chaim Shalom’s

patient number only indicated ‘in surgery’ for what felt like forever.”

The lead surgeon later told Fraidy that in addition to removing his thyroid, Chaim Shalom was now 45 lymph nodes less. “An overeager resident wanted to shave off Chaim Shalom’s budding beard which had just sprouted. The Indian doctor spared it, even if the cancer had reached precariously close to his tongue.”

The surgeon also informed the Steins he was unable to achieve clean margins, i.e., ascertain the entire tissue was cancer-free. This would necessitate radioactive iodine treatment (RAI). When the radioactive iodine collects in the thyroid, the radiation destroys the thyroid and any other cancer cells, but has little effect on the rest of the body.

“We were in the endocrinology unit and all medical personnel were wearing tags indicating how much radiation they’d been exposed to,” Fraidy recalls. Though new to them at the time, radiation exposure would be a harbinger of the new normal.

The first phase of RAI requires an iodine-free diet. “It was harder than Pesach cooking,” Fraidy confesses. “Everything, but everything, was cooked from scratch. Salt is ubiquitous and sneaks in everywhere. During those two weeks, my kitchen and I had lots of bonding time.”

Chaim Shalom’s complex case required him to receive a double dose of radiation. Two weeks of isolation would follow. “When the doctors heard I had a young baby home, they unequivocally agreed that home isolation was not an option.”

So where do you put a glow-in-the-dark, radioactive, 24-year old young man?

“I made endless, endless phone calls. Wherever he would be holed up would be radioactive for a time thereafter. Nobody had any leads. No one.”

AirBNB solved that problem. The Steins rented a house in Queens, close to the hospital and not far from their Monsey home.

Not that it would make any difference where they were located — Chaim Shalom was on his own for two weeks.

“The day before treatment was sheer madness,” Fraidy recalls.

“We stocked the place, from soup to nuts. Everything he possibly needed for 14 days had to be arranged, think Shabbos timers and perishables. We covered all surfaces with Saran Wrap, since everything he touched during the isolation period would be contaminated so long as the half-life of the radiation continued — which was about six months.”

Even Chaim Shalom’s clothes, linens, and towels would be radioactive for the six month period. “I had the option to take all items he used and put them into garbage bags for the duration. I chose Walmart instead,” Fraidy laughs. A huge order was placed, including underwear, clothes, and anything else he might need.

A problem arose when the Steins realized that Chaim Shalom’s tefillin would be radioactive too. Thankfully, Fraidy’s husband had already purchased tefillin for their 10-year old son. Fraidy remembers thinking how her yekke husband had gone overboard by “being that early — c’mon!” but was now grateful that Hashem had already prepared the tefillin her son would wear in isolation.

From when Chaim Shalom ingested the iodine, he had 30 minutes to drive himself to his new lodgings before he would contaminate everything around him. Iodine is administered via two small white pills. Served as one would serve a delicacy (“A metal dome over a small plate,” Fraidy says wryly), the Steins marveled how these tablets would hopefully cure their son — but would be detrimental to just about everyone else.

As soon as Chaim Shalom swallowed his pills, an escort took him down to his car with a radiation monitor, ensuring that he was not contaminating his surroundings. With a wave and some smiles, off he went to Queens as his parents went home.

The next two weeks meant absolute boredom for Chaim Shalom and worry for his parents. “He learned, spoke to friends, read, went from room to room… I felt so helpless and far away! The treatment left him without taste buds and he was moody and depressed,” Fraidy explained. “To say it was hard is an understatement. We were grateful to be at that juncture of our journey, but it was a pretty low point.”

On the last day of the isolation, the Sterns were reunited with their son at the hospital where he underwent a full body scan. In his radioactive state, it was easy to determine if any traces of the tumor were left. All areas that the radiation had consumed were easily visible. The treatment had been successful.

For the next while, Chaim Shalom would be careful around others, using his own bathroom, linens, and cutlery. “Every time we passed the border to Canada to visit our in-laws, our car was flagged for emitting radiation. We procured a doctor’s note proving we were innocuous tourists and not bomb-making fanatics,” Fraidy chuckles.

Though that part of their lives is largely behind them, Fraidy still harbors a dream. In an era of images of isolation hotels, family members banished to basements, and birthday parties on Skype, Fraidy dreams of creating isolation homes for those undergoing RAI. “One day, when I’m a rich woman, I’m going to do that. It fills a need that goes unnoticed.”

As for the current isolation? Fraidy just picks up her phone and displays her screen saver: a laughing young man giving piggy-back rides to two pajama-ed kids. “As long as he has his loved ones,” she affirms, “this is not isolation.”

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Living Well

At the Dietitian By Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE

How to Become a Weight Loss Maintainer A few years into private practice, I coined the term Weight Loss Maintainer. This moniker is reserved for those who demonstrate habits that allow them to achieve weight loss success easily over the long term, which I defined as two years or longer. As we all know, losing weight is only half the battle. Maintaining the loss is the other half — or more.

Intrigued by the habits that differentiate yo-yo dieters from maintainers, my research led me to the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR). The registry, established in 1994, is the largest prospective study of long-term successful weight loss maintenance. Given the prevailing belief that few individuals succeed at long-term weight loss, the NWCR was developed to identify and investigate the characteristics of individuals who have succeeded at maintaining their weight loss. There are currently over 10,000 members enrolled, each of whom have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. Study authors concluded that long-term weight loss maintenance is possible, and it requires sustained behavioral changes.

Most of the subjects in the registry had gained excessive weight early in life. Almost half were overweight by the age of 11, 25% were overweight by the

44 Wellspring | May 2020

age of 18, and the remainder became overweight in adulthood. About half of the registrants had one parent who was overweight, and 27% reported that both parents were overweight, indicating that many participants may have had a genetic susceptibility to obesity.

Thus, losing weight was probably even more challenging for them than for the typical adult trying to adhere to a weight loss plan.

Interesting statistics on the participants: ▷ 98% report that they modified their food intake in some way for the long term in order to lose weight. ▷ 94% increased their physical activity, with the most frequently reported form of activity being walking, and an average of 1 hour per day reported. ▷ 78% eat breakfast every day. ▷ 75% weigh themselves at least once a week. ▷ Maintainers eat an average of 4 to 5 times per day.

Based on the registry’s research, as well as other research conducted, I devised a list of the habits that define individuals who lose weight and keep it off.

Habits of Successful Weight Loss Maintainers 1. Be committed for the long haul.

Successful weight management requires a sustained and lifelong commitment to healthful food selection, regular physical activity, and diligent monitoring of weight. Any new dietary or fitness changes need to be sustainable for the long term in order for weight loss to be effective.

2. Exercise!

Physical activity matters! Research has shown that regular daily exercise (60 minutes daily) is helpful to prevent the weight being regained. However, anything is better than nothing, of course. If you can’t get to a gym, commit to a 30–45 minute walk most days, and stick to your commitment.

3. Don’t stick your head in the sand!

While many individuals are scared of the scale, 75% of successful weight-loss maintainers weigh themselves once weekly, proving that denial is harmful in the long run. If you’ve overeaten and

gained weight, there is no more effective tool than facing the facts on the scale sooner rather than later to help get you back on track.

4. Be realistic about your weight loss goal and expected progress.

People who lost one to two pounds a week, while gradually reprogramming their taste buds and lifestyle, report the easiest time adapting to weight maintenance, as compared to people who’ve dropped weight quickly on fad diets. Success may not be about reaching you ideal weight if you feel hungry all of the time and need to exercise fanatically; it’s about reaching your sustainable and feel-good weight.

5. Eat real food.

Fad diets work in the short term, but they’re not the way to keep weight off in the long term. Instead, most weight loss maintainers monitor calories and/or portion sizes, eat lots of produce and good-quality carbs, eat breakfast, eat consistently, and take intuitive hunger and satiety cues into account.

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE, is a highly acclaimed and experienced registered dietitian/nutritionist and certified diabetes educator. She maintains a busy nutrition practice with offices in Lakewood and Edison, and via phone/Skype to numerous international clients. She specializes in balanced and sustainable weight loss and nutrition therapy for autoimmune, hormonal, and gastrointestinal issues. She can be reached at 732-364-0064 or through her website www.thegutdietitian.com.

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Living Well

Health Personality By Roizy Baum

I

If Dr. Daniel Grove, an ICU doctor, ever thought he had his hands full, when COVID-19 shockingly and quickly transformed the world, he was in for a surprise. With a rampant disease sending many people to the ICU, the good doctor now works around the clock. Nevertheless, amid the pandemonium, this passionate doctor still somehow finds time to update his informative blog on COVID-19.

“When people have had enough of the overdramatic and sensationalistic reports the media offers,” shares Dr. Grove, “I feel my experience as a physician, as a person and a doctor going through this pandemic, will offer a different perspective — and educate along the way.”

Cup of Tea With:

Dr. Daniel Grove

At first, there was the fear — a palpable tension that hung in the air with the same anxiety that permeated the empty schools, disrupted households, and emptied the streets. For Dr. Grove, the fear was about his patients. Is the coronavirus going to come? When? Will there be so many patients that I’ll become overwhelmed? Will fatigue lead to mistakes that cost lives? Will I have to decide who lives and who dies because of a ventilator shortage?

What actually happened? “We are not overwhelmed,” Dr. Grove says about the current situation at his Baltimore hospital, “but we are super busy. We have our normal ICU patients to evaluate, a dozen COVID-19 patients, plus many patients who are being transferred from hospitals that are already overwhelmed. Throughout the day, there’s an influx of new patients. Also, the ICU is being used for patients who normally do not see the ICU. Keep in mind that this is about my particular experience. I imagine that things are different elsewhere and many have different experiences.”

The Problem's Not Just COVID-19

Apparently, COVID-19 patients are not the only ones dying.

Patients battling various other conditions and ailments seem to be succumbing at an unusual rate, too. There are the secondary effects of people not getting care, mostly because they’re afraid of going to hospitals, which is understandable but also unwise.

“A lot of the effects are people refraining from going to the hospital and refusing to seek help when they should,” Dr. Grove offers.

“Take a pneumonia patient as an example. He’s afraid to come to the hospital, stays home longer than he should, and gets sicker.

By the time he finally comes to the hospital, his situation is near fatal. If patients would come in at the start, there would be fewer fatalities. Since patients arrive further along in the course of their disease, the fatality rate among non-COVID-19 patients has unfortunately spiked.

46 Wellspring | May 2020

LOCATION: Baltimore, MD

OCCUPATION: Pulmonologist and Assistant Director for Critical Care in MedStar Union Memorial Hospital

SPECIALTY: Pulmonary and Critical Care

FAMILY: Married, with 5 kids

PASSION: Family, learning new things, and exercise

HE WISHES PEOPLE WOULD KNOW THAT: Life is complicated; overly simple answers are usually incorrect.

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 47

Living Well

Health Personality

"In New York, you may get a different experience because the spread there is much worse. In Baltimore, we’re at the peak. All the people who were sick during the last two weeks are not yet showing up.

There’s always a delay between the decline in new cases and the decline in the hospital. People only come to the hospital when they’re really sick.”

According to Dr. Grove, there seems to be no medical rhyme or reason as to who survives and who unfortunately does not. Does intervening earlier help prevent the situation from spiraling out of control?

“It’s very unpredictable," he says. "Individuals of older age or who are immunocompromised may be at an increased risk. Concerning other patients, it’s befuddling. Lately, as the patient progresses, we monitor blood work. One of the effects of the virus is that it causes immune responses to go haywire. Blood tests are like an early-warning system, while blood work is a marker if the virus is a trigger to other things. If we can identify the trigger early, we can hopefully treat the patient early and prevent the situation from getting out of hand.”

Controversy and Lonely Patients

While various disheartened family members of patients have expressed frustration at the hospital staff, Dr. Grove tells the story as an insider. “From what I’ve seen, doctors and nurses are going above and beyond their regular duty,” he emphasizes. “I think they are all amazing, stretching themselves, dealing with difficult and stringent requirements. There’s the added emotional strain while patients can’t communicate with their families. The nurses step in to fill the role by being companions, too.”

The controversy of patients left dying of hunger and neglect, bereft of their loved ones has caused quite a stir in the US. As of publication time, multiple signatures on a petition to change the hospital rules have not yet made an impact. What is best for the patient? As Yidden, we know that bikur cholim improves the health of the sick. How about the daunting medical decisions and challenges that devoted family members must often contend with, with the wellbeing of their loved ones being their utmost priority?

“Many people claim that patients are dying because of neglect and hunger,” Dr. Grove asserts. “Whatever you see on social media is from fringe individuals. They post videos and describe with great hyperbole the horrors happening inside the hospital. I don’t think there’s much truth to this. And, as cruel and horrible as the law seems, of not allowing any visitors at all, it’s really for the benefit of the entire world.

"My heart goes out to one poor patient who has been in the ICU for over three weeks already. His wife dropped him off, and he’s been alone since. Understandably, people are begging, ‘Just one!’ It’s heartbreaking that patients are so lonely, but let us not forget that the entire pandemic started from just one. As much as a loved one at the patient’s bedside sounds ideal, the ends simply don’t justify the means.”

In several hospitals, chaplains visit the patients, and nurses do the comforting. “The real heroes are the nurses,” Dr. Grove opines. “They are under-recognized and underappreciated. Yet, they venture on to perform their tough tasks.” Does the doctor himself receive any recog-

nition? “I’m part of a team. Who needs appreciation when a 23-yearold patient is admitted to the hospital almost dead and later walks out of the hospital healthy and hale? Hashem’s constant miracles — that’s all the appreciation I need.”

Controlling Hospital Spread

With the spread of the virus a great fear, how does a hospital battle the germs while treating non-COVID-19 patients, too? “We divided the hospital and sectioned off one part of it just for corona patients, with plans to expand as needed,” Dr. Grove explains. “When treating patients, we wear full protective gear, including gloves, gowns, goggles, and masks. After we see the COVID-19 patients, we see our regular patients. That’s when the fun of stripping from head to toe begins.”

Dr. Grove describes how they’re beating the mask shortage. “There’s a system for cleaning and recycling N95 masks with hydrogen peroxide.

A specialized company sprays a disinfectant without moisture, which kills all germs without ruining the mask's elasticity. More importantly, we don’t want the virus out in the halls. In all the rooms we make use of negative pressure, which vacuums the particles floating in the air. The particles get sucked out and ejected through the window, into the air.

By the time the air goes out, it’s destroyed.”

But aren’t we warned to don masks when we venture outdoors? If the particles in the air get dispersed and don’t bring on illness, why is there a need? “It’s true,” says Dr. Grove, “that with airflow, the germ particles diffuse. When you walk outdoors, you can only get infected if someone within 6 or 10 feet coughs and/or sneezes. A mask would protect you from that. Masks are mostly recommended in indoor spaces, where you’re more confined. Mostly, masks are about protecting others from you, if you’re a carrier. If you’re keeping a safe distance when outdoors, there’s relatively no need for a mask.”

When the White Coat's Off

Outside of the hospital, Daniel Grove is a dedicated family man — cherishing the relationship he has with his wife and five children. How does he ensure that he doesn’t carry the bad guys — i.e., the germs — home with him?

“At work, I get hospital scrubs and wear a surgical cap. I dispose of them daily. When I arrive home, I leave my shoes at the door and am constantly washing my hands. But,” he adds, “I’m pretty sure my family members already had the virus. My wife had a cough and lost her sense of smell, and my 15-year-old and 12-year-old kids had low-grade fever and felt unwell. And our three youngest, ages 10, 7, and 4, never got sick but possibly had it.”

The doctor himself had it, too—a confirmed case at that. A few weeks into the corona crisis, he began feeling the ubiquitous symptoms. He recalls his initial thought process: “Could I have the virus? It couldn’t be. Not me. I was supposed to be the one treating the sick, not the other way around.

"While I was not concerned about my health, my first response was self-centered and ugly, although undeniably human: I didn’t want to be

known as the guy who spread this around my community or around my hospital. I didn’t want to be seen as a scourge sickened with a plague dreaded by all. I didn’t want to be a pariah to be avoided and cursed.”

But as Hashem had destined, Dr. Grove tested positive and his diagnosis was followed by two weeks of languishing in the basement of his home. "I moved into the basement and taped down a line on the carpet that no one would cross. No one was to be within six feet of me."

“The world had been turned upside down because the unwitting act of one man halfway across the globe started a chain reaction of actions and inactions,” said Dr. Grove. The health department had him do contact tracing. Contact tracing is about alerting and tracing where a person’s contact was and make sure exposed people quarantine. The virus knocked him out for a week, and by the second week in quarantine he was already seeing patients through a video chat program.

If doctors can see patients through video chat, shouldn’t we resign to these types of germ-free, line-free, and wait-free visits forever after?

“It’s definitely not as good as in person, but you can get a lot of info.

It’s not ideal, but better than nothing. Some of our existing patients, who we know how they present, can be treated easily. When we know their pattern of illness, such as someone with asthma who gets worse during the spring, even if you can’t listen to their lungs, that’s not the end of the world.”

Between teletherapy and keeping his blog updated, Dr. Grove passed the time until he was able to return to his full work schedule. Even now, at this hectic time, he manages to keep the site updated. How does a full-time doctor, who is also a super involved dad, find even more time to help others?

With a good-natured laugh, Dr. Grove dismisses any admiration.

“When I was sick in the basement I had all the time in the world. Generally, I have the info in my head because I’m constantly researching the topic. I always say that the L-rd created a complicated world. If an answer is too simple, it must be false. ‘This is the solution. It’s so simple.’

These words should turn you off.

"The human body is extremely complex. This virus is vastly complex, too. Science is finding proof to the questions we answer. Without proving things, instead choosing to jump to conclusions and speedy game changers, we get nowhere. I have received many questions since corona hit, and I found the blog to be a great way to feed information amid all the misinformation. My goal is to put people at ease without fringe and sensationalism.”

Looking Toward the Future

Dr. Grove emphasizes how important widespread testing is to halt the pandemic. “There are many reasons why testing is vital for getting us out of the pandemic. The first is the importance of identifying both who is sick and who is not. The importance of identifying who is sick is obvious. You need to know whom to isolate and whom to treat.

Widespread testing would allow for identification of contagious people who have minimal or no symptoms to isolate them and prevent further spread. These individuals have been a major part of the spread of the disease because they didn’t know they were infected, yet they were

highly contagious. Identifying them would make a huge difference. We need testing that is sufficient in quantity and reliable in accuracy.”

With viruses lingering and never completely going away, there’s a big chance of a return or a second wave. But when the virus starts infecting people again, and spreads like wildfire, better treatment will hopefully be developed. “We need better treatment. We need to know as doctors how to best treat this condition: which drugs work for which populations; which ventilator strategies work best in each situation. If we can figure out how to get folks off of ventilators and out of the hospital faster and more safely, it would allow the hospitals to treat more patients without getting overwhelmed.

"Finally, there needs to be a better logistical plan. We are not only short on supplies and potential treatments for the virus itself, but we are also running out of other crucial medications we use in the ICU. When we don’t have access to these medications it becomes harder to effectively treat patients, which leads to more deaths and longer occupation of valuable hospital beds.”

Doesn’t the fact that so many have already been infected help mitigate its repercussions? “It’s still too early to rely on herd immunity,” says Dr. Grove. “Herd immunity will need to happen through vaccine, because in order to have so many people infected, over a million people will need to die. It’s possible that many people are not infected enough to be protected.

"If you don’t have strong symptoms, you may not have developed protection. Herd immunity will be effective when the majority is vaccinated. When an effective vaccine will become available, with the help of Hashem, this nightmare will be behind us and we can start rebuilding. This will be completely over once there’s a vaccine.

"Right now, over 50 different groups are working on vaccines and trying to figure out what level of antibodies are protected. The first thing they must know is what quantity of antibodies the body must produce to develop protection. They then have to see if the vaccine triggers that level of response. They also must ascertain how long the vaccine's response lasts, and finally, ensure that the vaccine is safe. They’re predicting 12–18 months for the vaccine to be ready, but are trying to speed the process. They’re just about to start testing on humans.

"Again, there needs to be testing to identify who is sick and who is immune. We also need antibody testing to determine who is immune, to help us identify who was infected previously and hopefully impervious to reinfection. Implicit in better testing is more research to clarify how and for how long immunity lasts. When we reach a certain percentage of the population that has been infected, we can rely on herd immunity to allow us to be more lenient with restrictions.”

All coronaviruses confer different lengths of immunity. Once the vaccine is out, will one need a shot every year, every three years, or maybe a shot that is injected once and lasts forever? The only way to know is to wait and see. “I think this a big challenge between hishtadlus and bitachon. Bitachon means trust that you’re following medical advice and taking precautions, and then whatever happens is for the good. You don’t need to have fear. The rest is in Hashem’s hands. When people feel anxious, they try to exert control over the world. Control over the word is an illusion, and we only have so much control.”

50 Wellspring | May 2020

Living Well

Home Lab By Miriam Schweid

DIY

recipes for natural living

Herbal Pillow

If you’re looking to ease into a calmer night's sleep, and you don’t mind entertaining yourself and your kids these days, here’s the project for you. An herbal pillow, otherwise known as a dream pillow, is a European tradition. Once called a “comfort pillow,” this small pillow was filled with relaxing herbs, like catnip, lavender, and mugwort. They were used by people to ease the nightmares that sometimes resulted from medical encounters and all that accompanied them. These days, they’re a great way to help ward off insomnia and enable a calm, quick entry into a restful sleep.

2 pieces of cloth, cut into 8-inch squares ¼ cup dried hops ⅛ cup dried chamomile flowers ⅛ cup dried lavender 15 drops lavender essential oil Needle and thread, or fabric glue, or stapler

(Inexpensive dried leaves and flowers are available on Ebay or at herb companies.)

1. Place the outer, colorful sides of the fabric together, so they face each other. The back of the fabric should face out.

2. Keeping the fabric in this "inside out" position, sew around the edges, leaving an opening about 1½–2 inches wide. You will be able to turn the pillow right side out through this hole, as well as stuff it.

If you do not wish to sew, you can use fabric glue or even staples.

3. Use your fingers or a blunt object, like a thin paintbrush, to push the fabric of the pillow back out through the opening, so the pretty sides will face out.

4. Combine herbs and flowers in a small bowl, sprinkling with lavender oil.

5. Carefully push or pour the flowers and leaves through the opening of the pillow, filling it.

6. Sew, glue, or staple the hole closed.

7. Tuck inside your pillowcase.

The pillow's scent should last many months. When it starts to get faint, crush the leaves or add drops of lavender oil to the outside of the pillow.

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Living Well

Diary Serial By Rina Levy

s s e l e p a Sh e c n Da Recap: Dr. Castro identifies my daughter Yaffi’s strange behaviors to be a movement disorder, referring Yaffi to a world-renowned expert for a specific diagnosis.

Chapter 6

Hoping For Our Own Chanukah Miracle Dr. Castro warned us that we would have a hard time getting to her, but Dr. Tehila Benayoun must have heard my desperation when I called, and she agreed to meet with us just three days later, on Sunday morning. It was our miracle: that day was Erev Chanukah and the Hashgacha was not lost on us. As we drove to Dr. Benayoun’s private home clinic, the peace of the rolling green pastures we saw out the window seemed to contrast with our inner angst.

Dr. Benayoun looked like a typical hospital professor in blue jeans, with her wild gray hair and little spectacles framing a face that appeared inquisitive and compassionate. In the doctor’s tiny office, the shelves were lined with hundreds of medical books. Two enormous computer screens sat on her desk. Yaffi plopped herself happily onto Dr. Benayoun’s beanbag 52 Wellspring | May 2020

chair as we took our seats on rickety metal chairs beside her.

The diagnostic process began with a battery of multiple-choice questions for us to answer. These questions were displayed on those giant screens, and were created by Dr. Benayoun over her many years of researching chorea. Many of the questions were hard to answer because Yaffi’s baseline is not like everyone else’s.

Physically she looks fine, but once she starts moving, it’s obvious that something is not right.

We had to analyze many of her movements and determine if they were new developments or just inborn characteristics unique to Yaffi. Going through the chorea questionnaire, we found that we could attribute most of her unusual movements to more of a recent deterioration than something she was born with.

As we sat there, working our way through the questions, I spotted the book Parkinson’s Movement Disorder Manual. I opened, then closed my mouth, and kept my horror to myself as I scanned the bookshelf — two whole shelves devoted to Parkinson’s. I felt my stomach twinge in fright. Was this way more serious than I could have ever imagined?

After the same physical examination we had already seen by Doctors Fein, Mitchell, and Castro, Yaffi showed off and anticipated all the tests, even offering to pull Dr. Benayoun’s finger, which she chuckled at. This charmed her and she gently pinched Yaffi’s cheek. “I’m going to help you to get to the bottom of this,” she said softly. “Don’t worry.”

After testing her grip, reviewing the multiple choice questions, holding out her arms to see if they were steady, and two hours later, Dr. Tehila Benayoun was ready to divulge her thoughts.

“I want you to know that medicine isn’t science; it’s detective work. There’s no way to establish a definite diagnosis for this, but only a way to pinpoint the right disease through the process of elimination.” Then she told us she strongly suspects Yaffi has Sydenham’s chorea. Still with the Parkinson’s fear in my heart, I breathed a sigh of relief, though I still had no idea what the new diagnosis meant.

“Sydenham’s chorea,” the doctor explained, “mainly affects children and adolescents, mostly girls Yaffi’s age. It follows a streptococcal infection. It can also be a complication of rheumatic fever; we’re not sure.

Right now, I want to treat Yaffi for Sydenham’s, and if the treatment works, then we’ll be more confident we’re on the right track. The treatment can start immediately. It’s just penicillin to treat the underlying infection causing the chorea, and Tegratol to control the movements. You can go straight to the pharmacy from here and pick them up. If this works, then you can be confident that strep is the culprit.”

To be continued...

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 53

No Upsherin Party for You Helping our children ‒ and ourselves ‒ deal with dashed dreams

Can Parenting Be Fun? Hudi Gugenheimer shows you how

Not Mutually Exclusive Cucumbers and chocolate could go together

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

BACKYARD WEDDINGS. ZOOMED BAR MITZVAHS. CANCELED UPSHERIN PARTIES. How to manage disappointment, no matter its magnitude Based on Rebbetzin Sima Spetner’s Approach

Shiffy Friedman 56 Wellspring | May 2020

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Combing my fingers through my toddler’s locks the other day, I asked for the umpteenth time, “So where will your peyos be?” He pointed to his sideburns and said, “On Lag B’Omer, right?”

All winter long, our automatic response had been, “Right, in Meron! And we’ll go on a big, huge bus, and …” However, as the situation currently appears, not only will the exciting family trip up North not be taking place, but also his haircut will very possibly be postponed to the date of his third birthday, three months later.

Thankfully, our son is just a toddler, for whom dates hold little meaning. In his developing mind, Lag B’Omer can very well happen in Tammuz, and Meron may very well be a synonym for our dining room.

But there are also disappointments that he does understand, no matter their magnitude in an adult’s eyes. And then there are disappointments our older children may be experiencing, especially at this time. What can we tell that preschool-aged child who waited all year for her birthday party? How can we help a bar mitzvah-aged son process the pain of a canceled celebration? Or what about a soon-to-be married daughter whose lifelong dream of a ballroom wedding has been shattered?

Disappointment — the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the unfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations — is not new to the COVID-19 era. It’s part of life in this world.

Now, however, this emotion may be emerging in a more powerful form, with greater frequency, for many people. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this very human emotion, the way it is handled may inadvertently generate an onslaught of negative feelings — or shut us off from ourselves completely. How can we help our children — and ourselves — deal with dashed dreams?

Not Proportionate In the greater scheme of things, too many are experiencing untold pain and anguish right now, facing the devastating 58 Wellspring | May 2020

reality that a loved one didn’t make it. After clinging to the hope that their beloved relative, friend, Rav, or teacher would be one of those lucky survivors, they are left to deal with the crushing pain of a new reality and to mourn their loss. The repercussions of a tragedy of that caliber are beyond the scope of this article.

However, here’s a premise that makes all the difference in dealing with disappointment, in particular, and all feelings, in general: feelings are individual. What this means is that not only does every individual react differently to even similar circumstances (because they're never exactly the same), but that the magnitude of a circumstance is in no way a reflection of the feelings it engenders.

On a scale from one to ten, with one being the least disappointed and ten being the most, one individual may feel a ten at having her graduation canceled, while her sister, whose wedding is taking place in a tiny backyard, may feel a seven.

In the same vein, there are times when a certain circumstance may feel like a nine to us, and when that very same circumstance replays a little while later, it may feel like a two.

In preparation for this article, I asked tens of women to share a corona-related disappointment they’ve experienced. Many prefaced their tale with an introduction of, “I know this is not terrible, so I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for.”

Feelings are not only fluid, but they are also not related to logic. The circumstances may not be grandly devastating in relation to what others are experiencing, but for the one who is feeling them, it certainly is and thus warrants utmost understanding and empathy.

Being cognizant of this premise is crucial to dealing with disappointment — and all other emotions. It’s with this understanding that we won’t be caught saying, “What’s the big deal?” It’s with this understanding that we won’t scoff, even

inwardly, at a child’s expression of sadness when something he set his heart on did not pan out, no matter how petty it appears. It’s with this understanding that we will instead realize, “Wow. This child is now experiencing pain. Whether it’s proportionate to the circumstance or not is irrelevant.”

Here for You

When a child expresses disappointment of any sort, renowned parenting coach Rebbetzin Sima Spetner teaches in her classes, our role as the parent is twofold: commiserate and distract. First, with the understanding of the above, regardless of how you, as an adult, perceive the situation, show the child that you feel for her.

Using an example of a canceled birthday party, simply allow the child to notice that you’re there for her. She can see this in your facial expression and the words you use, whether it’s an “oy,” or, “Oh wow!” or, “That is so disappointing.” For most children, the less verbal the expression is, the better. A gentle hug, eye contact, and complete focus on the child is often enough to give children the feeling that their parents are there for them.

Then, after a few moments, when we notice that the child is calming down, advises Rebbetzin Spetner, we can try to gently distract him or her. “Would you like to work on this project together?”

In most cases, Rebbetzin Spetner often says, it’s surprising to watch how quickly a child, who is naturally resilient, feels better simply by feeling supported by a parent. They, too, are eager to move on. Once they feel bolstered and validated, they’re happy to engage in something that takes their mind off the disappointment.

Often, all a child needs is that moment of empathy to whisk their sadness away. If a child continues wallowing in disappointment, they may need some additional empathy.

Or, they may appreciate feeling victimized by the circumstances. When that is the case, which often presents in a pattern, the child may need a more tailored approach to dealing with their emotions.

When a practical or technical solution is possible, such as rescheduling a birthday party, by all means, parents should do what they can to help their child feel special. But this will only feel good for the child once the disappointment has been handled properly, not when a solution is used as a Band-Aid, in place of the empathy and warmth the child expects.

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Wellbeing

Cover Feature

Hold Off

If we find that, as a parent, we tend to hurriedly bring on solutions or seek ways to immediately whisk problems away without giving emotions the space they need, we may want to look inward. When we find it difficult to simply be there for our child, perhaps our own emotions — and the way we’ve been feeling toward disappointment in our own life — are coming into play, hindering our ability to help our child when they need our support.

With parenting, in general, it’s a good idea to be cognizant of the fact that we’re essentially dealing with two worlds of emotion here: our child’s and our own. When the child expresses frustration, for example, since we’re not made of stone (thankfully), our own emotions come to the fore as well. In addition to the emotions we feel toward the child, such as empathy, the feelings we feel toward ourselves surface, too. For example, we may find that the doubts or guilt we feel regarding our own parenting become activated.

If disappointment is one emotion we haven’t learned how to deal with properly in the past, watching our child struggle with it may propel us to do anything in our power to banish it immediately. This may come in the form of excessive soothing, promises, solutionizing, seeking a culprit, or even coercing the child to stop expressing the emotion.

Every time we find ourselves engaging in any of these behaviors, we may want to ask ourselves, “What is emerging within me that I don’t want to deal with?”

Only by addressing our own feelings toward disappointment can we help our children navigate theirs.

As hashgachah would have it, when I sat down to write this article, my first-grade daughter, who was under the supervision of my husband, popped into my home office.

She looked … disappointed.

“I miss Pesach,” she said to me. “I wish you could just talk to us and not have to work.” She was expecting the Chol Hamoed experience to continue, only to realize that reality had set in—at least to some extent.

It pained me to hear that. But, I was writing this article after all, so I very soon noticed how my own emotions, specifically the way I feel as a parent, surfaced. This is about her, I reminded myself.

“You wish I could talk to you and not have to work?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I don’t only want to know that you’re home. I want to feel that you’re home.”

And all I answered was, “Wow, you want to feel that I’m home? You don’t like when you can’t feel that way?”

60 Wellspring | May 2020

Because this is not fiction I’m writing here, I’ll share exactly what her next line was: “Mommy, how does this work?” She held up her brand-new afikomen present — a little gadget with a robot-like appearance. “Totty said it can’t hear. Is it true?”

Just like that, she was on to something else. Then she added, “Next year, I want to dress up as a robot.”

And I thanked Hashem for planting the right words in my mouth and for reminding me that right now, at this very moment, it was not about me — but her. I would deal with my feelings about working full-time, while attempting to parent, later.

Dashed Dreams of Our Own Our children, of course, are not the only ones experiencing disappointments at this time. Adults, too, have their fair share of dashed dreams, especially now. Whether we planned to spend Yom Tov with family we hadn’t seen for a while, or we were looking forward to celebrating our child's simchah with family and friends, these challenges are very real.

“Since the birth of our son Elimelech, born on the yahrtzeit of Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk, we knew that we’d be traveling to Lizhensk with the family for his upsherin. But then, corona came along,” Malky relates. “Not only was our trip canceled, but it was also the day that cheder got canceled, so we had no place to take him to read the alef-beis and enjoy the celebration. On that day, the cheder was doing group learning for only two hours, from second grade and up. We assumed there was no way to take him. Of course, he was very disappointed.

“Elimelech asked to go to the cheder for a few minutes just to see it, so I walked him and my second-grade son there.

When I mentioned to the second-grade rebbi that Elimelech was supposed to have had his chalakah today, he immediately hurried off to the menahel's office. They were eager to get it done that day.

“So never mind that he wasn't in Shabbos clothes or anything. Another rebbi started singing mazel tov songs with Elimelech in the other second grade and doing alef-beis with him,” Malky relates.

“It was really heartwarming. A few minutes later, the menahel told me we should get everything ready (including Shabbos clothes, a cake, and an egg with the passuk) and go to the gan rebbi's house to do the whole ceremony there before Shekiah. We did, and it was a beautiful experience. The rebbi's wife welcomed us with a beautifully set table, with snacks and drinks, and told me how excited she was to see her husband do the chalakah ceremony, something she had rarely seen.

“Their children participated, as did mine, and I didn't feel like we missed out on anything in the end, baruch Hashem!”

Malky’s disappointment came to an end with a uniquely comforting conclusion, but that is not always the case.

“Right before corona hit,” says Kayla, “I was to be promoted to a high-paying position at the software development firm where I’ve been employed for five years. But once the pandemic set in, I was laid off — completely.”

From losing a job to watching long-awaited summer plans evaporate, there is no dearth of letdowns at this time. Disappointments of another kind may crop up as well. As Sarah relates, “One day during this quarantine, I worked so hard

to give the kids a good time. I’m not especially creative, but I went out of my way to engage them with fun activities. It was a happy day overall, but then, right before one of my kids fell asleep, she was upset about something. ‘You don’t love me,’ she cried. That really hurt.”

This is also the time when individuals may notice aspects in their spouse that leave them feeling disappointed, too.

Rav Avigdor Miller, zt”l, would say that every adult has a responsibility to be mechanech himself. Commenting on the words, “Eileh toldos Noach, Noach ish tzaddik, These are the generations of Noach; Noach was a righteous man,” he noted that Noach was his own child, so to speak, a product of his self-chinuch. We may be way past childhood, but we still

One individual may feel a ten at having her graduation canceled, while her sister, whose wedding is taking place in a tiny backyard, may feel a seven.

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 61

Wellbeing

Cover Feature

need and want to be treated with the gentle, loving approach through which children thrive. Perhaps this is especially true for individuals who come into adulthood feeling unequipped to deal with the challenges and emotions that are inherent to life.

Thus, when we experience disappointments of our own, the way we deal with them should technically be no different than the way we would advise or guide our children to deal with theirs. What approach enables us to move past the letdown and feel good despite the circumstances?

Based on the discussion above, it would be to first acknowledge what we’re feeling: disappointment. And then, just as we would with a child, we need to give ourselves permission to feel this way. The emotion does not have to make sense. If we feel it, we feel it. Give the emotion its space; take the time to feel the pain in a quiet, comfortable place.

“It really bothered me that I had to cancel my tickets to go to my parents for Pesach. We’re married for just two years, with one baby, and I haven’t seen my family in almost a year.

But what hurt more was that my mother didn’t seem to understand me at all. She kept telling me to count my blessings.

Of course I know that I have a lot to be grateful for, and I also felt guilty about feeling so upset, but this made me feel even worse,” one young woman confided.

Incredibly, when we give ourselves permission to feel dis-

62 Wellspring | May 2020

Being cognizant of this premise is crucial to dealing with disappointment — and all other emotions.

appointed, while the lack of empathy from others may still be painful, we find it easier to make peace with it.

Every time the voice that admonishes the emotion comes up again — mostly within, but very possibly from others, be that parent you need. Simply tell yourself, “Wow, that’s really disappointing. This is how you feel right now and that’s okay.”

By allowing yourself to feel what crops up within you, you will find that the emotion gradually dissipates.

Additionally, as Rebbetzin Spetner advises that we do for our children, once you’ve given the emotion its time, you may find it helpful to distract yourself from the circumstance.

Staying in the emotion and giving it time and space is different from wallowing in it. Wallowing means that it negatively impacts our relationships, productivity, and peace of mind.

Just Be Grateful!

Okay, we might say, I understand the need to validate my child’s or my own emotions. I understand the need to give space to my feelings. But what about perspective? What about paying attention to what we do have, to stop focusing on what’s not okay?

The attitude of gratitude is beautiful; it’s the approach our Sages encourage us to live with. However — and this is key — when this perspective is delivered in an uncaring, censuring, or castigating way, or in any form that doesn’t feel palatable to the recipient, it's not only not helpful, it may actually do more harm than good.

If the approach is too hard, the mussar may sound like tochachah: “What’s with you? Why can’t you grow up? Why don’t you appreciate what's going right for you in your life?” Even if the rebuke is not phrased in these words, even if it's subtle, the recipient will undoubtedly detect the admonishment.

Especially unhelpful — and possibly detrimental — is the argument of “but so many people have it way worse than you.”

In addition to being an illogical claim, this not only disparages the child (or adult) and her very human emotions, but also it conveys a dangerous message: your happiness or lack thereof is contingent on others' happiness.

The fact that someone else has it harder does not diminish from this child's hardship. She’s still going through something painful that deserves its own compassion and understanding, regardless of whatever others are enduring.

All of this is also true in the way we handle our own disappointment. When we encourage ourselves to think positively, we can become more positive. But when we admonish ourselves for feeling what we’re feeling, or we deny that we feel that way, we only become more entangled in negative emotion.

Experiencing disappointment is not about being a victim. Rather, it’s about accepting our humanness, our need to feel what we’re feeling, and then moving on. When we learn to deal with our own emotions, we’re also giving our children the gift of emulating us in their own lives.

In her practice as an LMSW, Shiffy Friedman realized that her knowledge in psychology was not helpful in healing the infinitely profound nefesh. An intensive search led her to discover the Torah’s direction toward a more connected life.

To sign up to receive Shiffy’s weekly message on this subject, write to emotionalwellnessthroughTorah@gmail.com

Nevertheless, this is not to say that an attitude of gratitude can’t and shouldn’t be encouraged in the home. Speaking of this in "teaching moments," as Rebbetzin Spetner calls them, at a time when that "gratitude attitude" mussar isn’t directed at someone who isn’t exhibiting it, at a time when the family is calm, fosters in our children — and ourselves — a deep appreciation for the gifts Hashem sends our way.

It’s always a good idea to ask ourselves this question: Is our encouragement to be more positive coming from a place of understanding or is it a subtle form of antagonism toward the emotion? If we’re not sure, we’re best off leaving the advice (even to ourselves) unsaid. As the Gemara taught centuries ago, rebuking at a time when the recipient will either reject or loathe the mussar is prohibited (Yevamos 85). If that is true for someone who commits an aveirah, how much more valid it is for someone who is simply being human. The more we allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling and give emotion its space, the more accepting we can be of ourselves — and others who feel that way.

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Wellbeing

Emotional Eating By Shira Savit

It’s Not Only

“I Ate Well” or

“I Blew It”

How the Way We Deal with Our Feelings Affects How We Eat We are living in a time when things feel completely upside down.

There is so much unknown, so many conflicting feelings, and so many unanswerable questions.

Some of us get overwhelmed and don’t want to feel at all, so we numb ourselves with food or anything else that can distract us from feeling the present moment. Others might shift towards black-andwhite terms, limiting ourselves to one way to feel or one thought to believe. For example, we “choose” between opposites such as: Either my day was a resounding success, or a total disaster. Either I feel like a supermom, or the worst mother in the world. Either I am eating really healthily, or absolutely horribly.

64 Wellspring | May 2020

Black-and-white thinking leaves a person vulnerable to negative self-judgment. I yelled at my kid — I’m a failure. I broke my diet — there’s no hope for me. In reality, differing feelings can and do exist at the same time!

Experiencing conflicting feelings is integral to our life as Yidden.

Someone can be celebrating the birth of a newborn son, and also feel pain that their loved ones will not physically be with them at the bris. The classic example of this dichotomy that of a new couple under the chuppah, feeling the epitome of joy, yet breaking a glass at the height of the simchah to remember the Churban. If Hashem commanded us to experience contrary emotions at the same time,

we can be certain that He created us with the ability to do so.

The ability to recognize and hold conflicting feelings simultaneously can be referred to as “gam v’gam,” or “yes and also.” Our relationships, parenting, work, and more are replete with such situations. Learning to leave aside absolutes and cultivate the ability to have two (or more) different feelings at the same time helps us remain calm amidst the chaos.

Let’s see how this works.

During the quarantine period, we can enjoy time with our family members and also feel quite overwhelmed or irritated by their constant presence. We can be hopeful and optimistic about the future, and also feel like the whole world is falling apart. We can be doing fun and entertaining activities with our children, and also feel completely burnt out. We can sing and dance and create a happy home atmosphere, and also cry and crawl into bed, wanting to stay there for a long time.

We can be doing fun and entertaining activities with our children, and also feel completely burnt out.

When we accept the coexistence of conflicting emotions, it becomes easier to let go of harsh self-judgments. We avail ourselves of a broader perspective to cope with the myriad of circumstances beyond our control.

The gam v’gam mindset certainly applies to a person’s relationship with food. For example, a woman might be nourishing herself with mostly healthy foods, and also feel out of control at times with the frequency of her snacking. She might be proud of herself for not having that extra piece of cake, and also be upset for having eaten the whole chocolate bar (one little square at a time, no

doubt). These two feelings don’t contradict each other.

It might feel difficult to tap into two different food-related feelings at the same time, especially when we’re accustomed to years of living with the dieting mentality: something is either a good food or a bad food; either you’re on the diet or off the diet. This mode of thinking robs a woman of her ability to experience both positive and negative feelings towards her relationship with food. She misses out on much of the nutritional/ emotional/spiritual nourishing qualities of food, and all too often, feels badly about herself.

When we don’t experience the full range of emotions; when we limit our feelings and our interpretations of them as either success or failure, good or bad, the feelings tend to show up in unwanted eating behaviors. When my only choices are I “ate well” or I “blew it,” I’m stuck having to choose, so to speak, one emotion.

However, when I make space for both the victories and the setbacks (today I had only one muffin when I wanted two and I also turned to comfort food late at night), my world is no longer black and white. I’m not all “good,” nor am I a complete failure. I am a complex, deeply feeling human being, doing the best I can under very difficult circumstances!

I encourage you, dear women, to bring both the positive and the unpleasant feelings, to the table. This way, while parenting, homeschooling, working, running the household, and more, you will be able to have your cucumbers and also your chocolate.

Shira Savit, MA, CHC, MHC is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in helping her clients with weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Her unique approach incorporates both nutritional and emotional factors to help her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and also works with women in any location via phone or Skype. She can be reached at 516-978-7800 or Shirasavit@gmail.com.

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Wellbeing

Feature By Hudi Gugenheimer

Can Parenting Really Be Fun? How I went from being a stressed- out, tense mother to enjoying having my kids around During the current quarantine period, parents, especially mothers, are spending a great deal of time with their kids. There are times when this togetherness feels exhilarating, times when it feels suffocating, and times when it starts to feel comfortable — a new routine. Here, coach Hudi Gugenheimer speaks candidly of how her approach toward parenting has undergone a transformation, from being a suffocating experience to an exhilarating one, with tips for every mom.

Why did I ever think I'd enjoy or even slightly go for this mothering thing? Dirty faces, dirty clothes, dirty floors, dirty counters — yuck! If I have to change one more dirty diaper, I mean it: I’m out of here for good!

That is how I once felt — for real. When my third son was born, 10 years ago, I felt like I’d had enough. But before I tell you how I dealt with those emotions, let me tell you about my mother, a”h.

Aside from the fact that she left this world and her 11 children behind at just 39 years old, I always knew I’d be just like my mother in almost every way. I’d be that fun-loving, vibrant, confident, creative woman she was. Full of life, joy, and vivacity. Passionate!

My mother was an amazing teacher: the one who had a store for her students with the best prizes ever; the one who brought the cups and milk for all the teachers' coffee; and the one who was always surrounded by friends. She was the one who was up and out with all — and I mean all — the children, every single morning. And she was always the first teacher to arrive at school.

She was the one who dressed her kids in beautiful clothing and made them perfect hairdos, with beautiful braids and bows. She was the one who hosted every party, who made gorgeous watermel66 Wellspring | May 2020

on baskets or fancy pastries for every kiddush, and who was brave enough to go to any store or embark on any trip anytime, with all 11 of us in tow. And of course we all looked like gorgeous little angels!

That, my friends, was going to be me. Exactly me. I’d be that perfect, beautiful mother.

Oh, and did I mention that we pretty much never saw my mother without a sheitel and makeup? Like, ever. Yeah, I was going be just as gorgeous! I’d be the perfect wife, too, just like her. Never, ever a complaint or fight; never, ever needing any help. Just handling it all on my own, because I’d be strong and super capable.

Of course I would. Isn’t that just like all wives and mothers?

Well, I was in for a very rude awakening.

It didn’t take becoming a mother to shock me and do me in. Getting married and having to run my own little home was more than enough to make that happen.

I remember standing in my perfect little first apartment soon after I was married, thinking, “How on earth am I going to get all the dishes done, prepare the perfect meal, get the linen on the beds and have the bathroom smelling decent — and all that in time to meet

my new husband at yeshivah without being late?”

I was so happy and grateful to be the lucky wife of this ben Torah.

I was proud of my own beautiful little home, but I was also torn and surprised by it, too. It was a huge job — and no one had ever warned me about this before.

I believed that there was no reason not to have a perfect home, and no excuse not to do the job of housekeeping just perfectly, too.

When my father asked if I wanted to hire cleaning help shortly after my wedding, I was actually slighted by the question. Did he think I couldn’t handle it all on my own?

No one told me that getting married meant balancing a myriad of jobs I’d never had full responsibility for before. No one told me that even though I thought 18 months was all of history to wait before my first baby came, that those 18 wouldn’t give me even the slightest experience about how to do all the housework and be the mommy of a perfect, innocent little baby who deserved constant undisturbed attention and perfect care as well.

When it hit me that I was supposed to just care for this precious child of mine and do all the housework and do that perfect wife thing, too, I was ready to throw in the towel.

I started breaking before the baby came, for sure, but it hit really hard after he was born. Suddenly, I found myself unusually worried about how to make sure he would be okay. I was scared to fall asleep because I couldn’t watch him while I slept. I would wake up before he did, only to find my half-sleeping self rifling through the blankets, terrified that I’d fallen asleep holding him and then lost the little one somewhere in my bed. I’d wake up with a skyrocketing pulse, only to find my beautiful baby peacefully asleep in his little crib at my side.

Not long after came my second son and then the third. Remembering that time is all a blur, a haze of sleepless nights and emotional exhaustion. I did everything I could to love my babies and care for my home and my husband, but somehow, I felt like it was never enough. I was never enough. No matter what I did, I fell short. And I felt bad — bad that I wasn’t everything I wanted to be, bad that I couldn’t be who I believed my mother was, and bad that I wasn’t that perfect mother I had dreamed of being.

To top it all off, I started dreading the life that I had always hoped for. There I was, with that beautiful little family I'd always wanted, but experiencing it was so very different and so much more challenging than I'd have ever imagined it to be.

It was the same fog of chores again and again and again. I hated cooking meal after meal. I resented cleaning up after everyone, nonstop. The whole thing simply just drained the life out of me, more than I’d ever imagined it would.

Not only was this physically grueling (my back ached, my head spun, and my forever-tired eyes drooped), it was also so emotionally exhausting. I had to worry about these three little ones, all under the age of three. The thought that I was responsible for their lives terrified me.

How would I, this frail, deeply fatigued mother, be able to ensure

that my children would make it? I worried day and night. I feared that I would mess them up if I didn’t teach them more or discipline them better or love them more deeply.

Now, all these years later, I laugh with gratitude. I’m filled with energy, baruch Hashem. When my last baby was born, it was an entirely new experience. Parenting with the newborn was wonderful, as well. I can never thank Hashem enough for that.

What I was then and what I am now are astronomically different.

I went from being stressed, anxious, sad, and overwhelmed to thoroughly enjoying my life and motherhood.

What changed?

How did I get to a place of finding joy and an exhilarated life and energy, when I’m doing the same ol’ hard work every single day, day in and day out, for what feels like forever? How can you, too, feel calm and happy through all the vicissitudes of mommy life?

I learned that yes, even my mother, who appeared superhuman to my young self, was very human after all. She had her struggles and choices to make and priorities to set. I learned that I, too, am human. By embracing myself as I am, I’m enabling myself to live my best life.

Since learning about my own life and implementing changes in my thoughts and deeds, I’ve been blessed to help hundreds of women shift from being that exhausted, pitiful, stressed out, anxiety-ridden mother to becoming happy, passionately grateful, thoroughly thrilled, and thriving. I have the privilege of observing how mothers actually transform from tense and rigid people to actually enjoying their mothering life.

The other day, I spoke to a woman who had once been stressed about keeping everyone and everything in her home on an exact routine. Now, she said to me, “I can’t believe it. My kids are home, and it’s actually chilled! And not only that, I’m really enjoying this thing. Vacation used to be the absolute worst, dealing with entertaining the kids and cleaning up after them nonstop, and this time it’s been wonderful.”

Wonderful does not mean perfect. Wonderful does not mean that we don’t get overwhelmed. It means feeling okay even when things are not okay.

How does this happen? Of course, every change at the core takes time and work, but you can implement these tips today to get that wonderfulness started.

If you're hating it, stop doing it.

Before you turn the page, take a moment to think. Do you really have to do what you're doing right now? You're hating it so much!

Is it good to do what you hate? You know that yucky feeling when you're painstakingly doing what you so intensely don’t want to be doing? All that pent-up frustration and hatred is like poison being imbued into your supper or clean floor or whatever it is you're working on. Is that really good for your family? Is the product of your anger and frustration something your family can benefit from?

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Feature

It’s funny that we actually do things that would seem as though we believe this, that our negative energy will just dissipate after we do it. I can’t imagine anyone wants your sour, angry efforts. An important question to ask yourself is: Will anyone die, get badly injured, or dangerously ill if I stop doing this task that I hate so much?

Sometimes it’s just not worth it to do all that stuff that we think we must do. If you wouldn’t do that dreadful task would you be a happier, calmer mother? Would your entire family benefit from that? I’m pretty sure this answers itself.

Stop worrying so much. Instead, trust.

Your children will be okay. Your minimal intervention is your hishtadlus, but the rest is up to Hashem. The moment you find yourself worrying about how this is all going to work out, stop and close your eyes, and picture the best possible outcome. Now breathe a sigh of relief, trusting that what is best for you and your child will happen.

Stop trying so hard, stop comparing, and stop pretending it’s possible to do it all.

Do you really believe that that perfect neighbor of yours is actually doing it all? Come on! You know good and well that she’s just as human as you are. Human beings are not the Almighty. Not even in the smallest way. Why do we assume others can do better than us, and why do we create lists till forever, even though we know that doing all that is way beyond the capacity of a human being?

The next time you see your perfect neighbor delivering a sixcourse meal to your other perfect neighbor who just had her 10th child, and you catch yourself feeling inadequate and wondering what to add to your to-do list so you can match up to their grace and perfection, stop and remember that we are all just human, and any time we over-give or overdo in one place, something gives somewhere else. Don’t even bother trying to emulate Superwoman because she does not exist. She’s a figment of your imagination who cries just as much as you do! I guarantee you that.

Selflessness is selfish.

The most important thing I can ever get a mother to do is to become more focused on herself. We tend to think we should just give and give forever. We tend to believe that our job as mothers is to sacrifice ourselves. But let me ask you a question, when a sacrifice is offered, what’s usually left of it in the end? A burnt piece of meat.

Yup, that’s all that remained from a korban.

If you’d like to show up for your family like a burnt piece of meat without a thump in your heart or a live cell in your body, go ahead and keep self-sacrificing. But if you’d rather show up with love and

vibrancy and energy to truly care for your loved ones, then you are going to have to stop and look at yourself and pay attention to what really fills you up.

Ask yourself, “What makes me really happy and energized?" Promise yourself that you will get some quiet, peaceful time just for you, and that you will get some amazing, exhilarating, fun time with some old friends. If you are willing to be truly loving and giving to yourself, you will be able to become the dearest giver to your family.

No matter how busy you are, and no matter how many precious people you need to be concerned about, please do whatever it takes to take care of you and your happiness — emotionally, mentally, and physically. Be nice to yourself. Please!

Move, Mama.

You've heard this so many times before, and I’m sure you’ll hear it again. I’m no rocket scientist, but I do know all too well that, as humans, if we’re physically stagnant we feel emotionally stale. That’s just the way it works, and housework is not the kind of movement that actually pumps up those endorphins and gets us feeling alive.

Go dance or work out, and I mean work out hard. Do some serious exercise, whether it’s a relaxing stretching class or strength training with weights or an awesome dance class.

There’s nothing deeply conceptual about it. It’s super simple and it just works. Movement completely changes our state and helps us feel relaxed. It injects us with happy vibes. When I exercise regularly, my patience level rises a whole lot. Working out gives us more energy, strength, and stamina. It is also important for the immune system and physical health. So turn up the music, gather a group of friends, and dance up a storm.

Replace anger with compassion.

Kids can get us so deeply annoyed and frustrated — easily and often. They trigger us all the time. This is a big topic, but one thing I can say here is this: in that moment, if you can draw on your compassion instead of anger, things will be so much easier.

Good riddance, guilt.

Remember that you are good enough — no matter what. You are enough, you have been enough, and you always will be enough. You were created for your children and they get exactly no more and no less than exactly what they need from you. You will never, ever be able to solve all their problems and fulfill all their whims because you're human. But are you perfect? Yes, 100 percent. With all your faults, with all your ups and downs, you are the perfect mother for these children.

Hudi Gugenheimer is a mother of four and founder and CEO of the High Energy Academy for Mamas. Her coaching program teaches women powerful tools and techniques to heal their inner child and become their happiest and greatest selves. She’s spent the past ten years helping hundreds of mothers around the world heal their pain and transform their lives. Hudi can be contacted through Wellspring.

68 Wellspring | May 2020

at

the divine revelation could not have occured rabi shimon bar yochai, devarim rabbah 7:8

@BARTENURABLUE

Imported by Royal Wine Corp., Bayonne, NJ. Enjoy Bartenura Rose responsibly.

ISSUE 52 MAY ‘20 IYAR 5780

Trendy, Tasty & Totally Healthy Sourdough Toast, Tahini Brownies, and Cauliflower Tacos Now’s the time to try your hand at these trendy dishes

Alive and Well Ten foods that top the probiotic charts Chinese-Style Cashew Chicken You’ll never want to order takeout again

Index Page

Trendy, Tasty & Totally Healthy

75

5 CURRENT DISHES

Page

Have it Homemade

87

BARBECUE SPICE RUB

Page

My Table

90

MIDDAY REFUELING

Page

96

Boost MUSCLE STRENGTH

THYME FOR DINNER

TIDBITS

SLOW COOKER CASHEW CHICKEN

ALIVE AND WELL

P. 89

P. 93

Dear Cooks, After Pesach, we were left with an enormous quantity of ripened bananas.

Having stocked up abundantly prior to the Yom Tov, we were now faced with a surplus — and no demand. My husband, ever the practical one among us, peeled and sliced them all, and then packaged them in lined airtight containers (for easy separation).

Those frozen banana slices are really coming in handy these days. First thing every morning, while the kids are getting settled for another day of teleconference schooling, I blend a bunch of banana slices with a few tablespoons of natural peanut butter and oats, spoon the mixture into fun cups and deliver these refreshing breakfast treats to the kids’ respective “desks.” They get to enjoy an energizing smoothie straight from the blender while listening to their teacher. Now that’s a pleasure they don’t have in “normal” times!

Another positive side to the quarantine aspect of the crisis is that the kids — and I — are only eating what’s being served at home. With no parties, treats, or restaurant trips happening, we get the rare opportunity to ensure that they only consume healthy fare all day long — with the occasional treat, as well, of course. I’m fascinated by the appetite they have at dinner, which is not always the case when they return from school after having filled up on snacks.

At this time, because I know that they can only eat what’s on hand, having a very limited number of foods with added sugar in the house invariably leads them to enjoy what we do have around, including date balls and sliced veggies.

Like several nutritionists in “My Table” relate, I’ve even had them share a bowl of broccoli soup with me at lunchtime, because that was what they saw when they felt hungry.

Although I’ve been trying to keep the fare in our home healthy these days, I know that what’s most important is to keep the atmosphere healthy. So whether or not you’ve been feeding your kids (and yourself ) chocolate lately (not only a nonnegotiable for Shira Savit, but for most of us!), at the end of the day, it’s all about surviving this trying time. Everything else is a plus.

Thinking of you,

Est her Pinch of Health If you’re planning to season a cooked dish with salt, always do so right before serving. Adding it earlier in the cooking process increases the sodium content without significantly enhancing the flavor.

make every occasion

TRENDY, TASTY, AND TOTALLY HEALTHY 5 CURRENT COMFORT DISHES I remember the time I told my grandmother that I’d gone out for sushi.

“You ate raw fish?” she asked, incredulous.

Food trends, like fashion, often start in high-end purveyors, gradually making their appearance at everyday stores. Two years ago, for example, cauliflower was the darling of the trendy kitchen, showing up in burgers, salads, and even pizzas. Although certain food trends have been transitory, some have become more permanent fixtures in the culture of food.

There has certainly been a trend toward healthy eating in the last decade or so, but never more than recently. Our eating habits have taken a huge turn towards fare that contains less refined sugars, less red meat, and more plant-based components. The increase in vegetarianism and vegan diets have made an impact on food stores worldwide.

At a coffee shop just a few years ago, the extent of your options was probably “black or white?” Today, you have the choice of almond milk, soy milk, oat milk, and coconut milk — to name just a few.

The recipes in this issue include just a few of the most recent food trends.

As far as we’re concerned, if it’s healthy and delicious, it’s a win-win!

Recipes, styling, and photography

by Yossi & Malky Levine

Iyar 5780 | Wellspring 75

Q

UINOA CRUSTED CHICKEN STRIPS WITH DIJON HONEY DRIZZLE Why not coat your chicken strips in a nutrient-dense grain in place of the usual carb-laden breading? Plus, you’ll love the delicious crunch!

1½ lb chicken strips

Dijon Honey Drizzle

2 cups cooked quinoa, cooled

¼ cup Dijon mustard

½ cup whole wheat flour

¼ cup honey

2 eggs, lightly beaten

¼ cup olive oil

1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

1 frozen garlic cube

1 tsp salt 2 Tbsp olive oil Place quinoa, flour, and eggs in three separate shallow dishes.

Coat chicken fingers in flour, then dip into the egg, and then into quinoa until fully coated. Sprinkle fingers with salt and pepper.

Heat oil in large skillet. Fry chicken strips for about 3–4 minutes per side, ensuring that exterior is golden brown and inside is cooked through.

For the drizzle, combine all ingredients and mix well. Drizzle over chicken when serving.

TREND TRACKER

Note: Due to possible infestation, please consult with your Rabbinic authority regarding usage of quinoa.

76 Wellspring | May 2020

Quinoa salads have managed to make it onto menus at some of the most trendy restaurants, but it’s hard to tell where the quinoa craze came from and why.

Considered an “ancient grain,” native to areas in Bolivia and Peru that surround Lake Titicaca, quinoa can be traced back to ancient history and has pretty much remained unchanged. We eat quinoa in its seed form, but initially, people ate the leaves as a source of food as well. According to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, the year 2013 was named the “international year of quinoa.” That’s because that year saw a significant increase in demand for quinoa in developed countries and, consequently, a significant rise in the supply. In 2014, the United States alone imported 68.9 million pounds of quinoa. To this day, it continues to be the trendiest grain.

This is a party for the palate. The rich array of textures and flavors, all presented on a soft, fluffy piece of wholesome bread, makes this a choice breakfast, lunch, or even dinner.

Although preparing the components of this dish is quite simple, the timing and sequence is critical for the perfect final product. Make the avocado too early and it turns brown; make the toast too late and the eggs will be ready first. Preparing poached eggs takes a little practice, but once you’ve mastered it, you’ll see how delicious they are.

2 thick slices of sourdough bread (see note) 1 avocado, cubed ½ red onion, finely diced ½ tsp salt ½ lemon 3 cups water 1 tsp vinegar 2 eggs handful cherry tomatoes, halved Start by preparing a guacamole. Gently mix avocado, onion, and salt; squeeze lemon over it.

In a small saucepan, bring water to a rapid boil. Add vinegar and stir.

Crack each egg into a cup, then slowly drop into the rapidly boiling water. The vinegar will keep it from spreading.

At this point, toast the sourdough slices.

Check the eggs after 2 minutes. The whites should be set. After another minute, use a slotted spoon to remove eggs and drain on paper towel.

To assemble, place toast in a plate, spread with avocado mixture, and top with poached eggs and sliced tomatoes. Serve immediately.

TREND TRACKER

S

OURDOUGH TOAST WITH AVOCADO AND POACHED EGGS

Sourdough is the oldest form of leavened bread and was used at least as early as ancient Egypt.

Legend has it that it was discovered by accident when bread dough was left out and good microorganisms — wild yeast — drifted into the mix. The resulting bread had a lighter texture and better taste. Fast forward to the turn of this millennium and sourdough popularity started surging. It started in the hip neighborhood of San Francisco and then filtered down into mainstream bakeries.

Its popularity is partly in thanks to the realization that commercially prepared loaves contain many additives — extra yeast, extra gluten, sugar, and preservatives. Many of these ingredients are the culprit for allergies and intolerances. Because sourdough is made from fermented yeast that occurs naturally, it produces a superior textured loaf that is perfect for toasting. It becomes super crispy and has a natural malty flavor despite containing absolutely no added sugar.

Note: For our fabulous no-fail sourdough recipe featured in issue 19 of Seasoned, please send a request to info@ wellspringmagazine.com.

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ABBAGE LASAGNA

Who would have ever thought that cabbage would become the darling of the kitchen? Boiled cabbage has that distinctive smell that can turn one's stomach, but cooked correctly, it’s not only delicious but incredibly healthy.

Cabbage is now being used as a substitute for pasta, making for a low-carb, healthy alternative.

This recipe uses leaves of cabbage to replace the lasagna strips. Even if you’re not usually a cabbage eater, don’t be put off by this recipe. I say take the gamble.

4 cups water 1 cabbage head, checked 2 Tbsp butter 1 onion, diced 6 garlic cloves, minced 4 frozen basil cubes (1 tsp) 1 16-oz container ricotta or cottage cheese 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp oregano 1 jar marinara sauce Olive oil, for greasing

FYI

1 Tbsp xylitol

Zucchini is another popular way of using vegetables as a pasta alternative. Sliced into ribbons or “zoodled” into spirals, it makes a great base for a pasta sauce — without the added calories.

1 pkg shredded mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350°F. In a large pot, boil water. Using tongs, dip each cabbage leaf into water for 30 seconds and place on a paper towel-lined plate to dry.

In a large frying pan over medium heat, heat butter until melted. Add onions and sauté until translucent. Add garlic and basil; sauté for additional 2–3 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl and add ricotta, xylitol, salt, and oregano; mix to combine.

Grease a baking dish with olive oil. Spoon a thin layer of marinara sauce into the bottom of a baking dish. Add a layer of cabbage leaves, then top with more sauce, ricotta mixture, and mozzarella. Repeat layering twice more.

Bake until cabbage is tender and mozzarella is bubbly, about 25 minutes. Garnish with fresh basil.

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HEWY TAHINI BROWNIES

TREND TRACKER

I’ve added a swirl of tahini into this brownie mixture. Not only does it add to the flavor, but it also increase its nutritional value. Once you’ve tried these, you may never go back to regular brownies again!

4 Tbsp coconut oil While tahini may be familiar to many as the sesame paste commonly used to make techina, its culinary and nutritional perks have only become popular in mainstream cooking a few years back.

1 cup dark chocolate chips 3 Tbsp cocoa powder 2 large eggs 1 cup xylitol 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp kosher salt

A delicious paste made from toasted ground sesame, tahini has a unique nutty flavor and is most commonly used in Middle Eastern cuisine. Though high in natural fat, tahini is packed with health benefits. Far from just being used for techina to top a falafel, tahini is used in smoothies, salad dressings, and even cocktails.

¾ cup tahini paste

It’s becoming a popular substitute for peanut butter among people with nut allergies. Tahini’s versatility is its USP. It’s pareve, yet adds a rich creaminess to dishes, and can be used in both sweet and savory recipes.

Personally, I just like to enjoy a spoonful or two on its own.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs and xylitol until fluffy. Add vanilla and salt and keep mixing until mixture has thickened. Add tahini and stir to combine, then fold in flour.

1 /3 cup whole wheat flour

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line an 8-inch square baking pan with parchment paper.

Melt coconut oil in a medium saucepan.

Remove from heat and stir in chocolate chips and cocoa; set aside.

Pour half of the mixture into a separate bowl.

Add chocolate mix to one of bowls and mix well. Pour into prepared baking pan.

With a spoon, dollop remaining tahini mixture on top. Use a skewer to swirl tahini mixture into chocolate brownie batter.

Bake for 30 minutes. Cool and cut into squares.

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BQ CAULIFLOWER AND CHICKPEA TACOS While this dish is vegan, even the heartiest carnivore in your family will love these wraps. The crunch of the carrot slaw with the spice of the chickpeas is a winning combination. whole wheat tortilla wraps 1 pkg frozen cauliflower 1 can chickpeas olive oil 3–4 Tbsp barbecue spice rub (see recipe in Have it Homemade) Carrot Slaw 1 pkg shredded colored carrots or coleslaw juice of 1 lemon or lime 2 Tbsp xylitol ¼ cup olive oil ¼ tsp salt Preheat oven to 375°F. To prepare the slaw: Add lemon juice, xylitol, olive oil, and salt into the bag of carrots or coleslaw. Seal bag and allow to marinate in refrigerator until serving.

Spread cauliflower florets and chickpeas onto a large baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with spice rub. Use your hands to toss everything together so that cauliflower and chickpeas are coated with the rub. Bake for about 25 minutes, flipping once.

If desired, warm up tortillas on the stove or in the oven. Place about ¼ cup of cauliflower and chickpeas on each taco and top with a few tablespoons of slaw.

TREND TRACKER While their popularity as a meal base has grown recently, chickpeas, also known as garbanzo beans, are one of the earliest cultivated legumes. Their distinctive nutty taste and velvety texture make them incredibly versatile in cooking.

Chickpeas are a rich source of vitamins and minerals, and because they’re high in protein, perfect for replacing meat in vegetarian and vegan dishes.

Vegetarianism, and particularly veganism, has had a stratospheric upswing. So when people want to make a dish that is protein rich and has a “meaty” texture, chickpeas are their solution.

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Ma Pappa Eatsa Pasta

HEART.WORKS

Past a a tt e f r e P

Available in Spaghetti, Fettuccine, Penne, Elbows, Rigatoni, Fusilli and Flat Lasagna

By Yossi and Malky Levine

Barbecue Spice Rub If you want to make your chicken wings super tasty, or you simply want to add a kick to your regular roast, this is a spice rub that will transform your dish into a mouthwatering feast. This all-purpose spice rub is slightly smoky and slightly sweet, which makes it ideal for barbecuing or broiling. It’s so versatile, you can try it on salmon too. I’ve even packed it into little mason jars as a hostess gift which has been very well received.

This rub lasts in an airtight container for months.

1 tsp cumin 1 tsp paprika 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp salt 1 tsp chili powder 1 tsp coconut sugar ½ tsp smoked paprika ¼ tsp black pepper In a small bowl or jar, add all ingredients and mix together.

By Yossi and Malky Levine

SLOW COOKER CASHEW CHICKEN Cashew chicken is one of those Chinese-American dishes that has become a restaurant staple. This recipe is so delicious, you’ll never want to order it from takeout again.

The chicken comes out perfectly tender, and the sauce is not as cloying as restaurant versions. It’s perfect for an easy weeknight dinner and definitely kid approved.

Bonus: You can turn this into an easy freezer meal to cook later. Follow the directions to brown the chicken and make the cashew sauce, then place everything into a freezersafe bag. When ready to cook, just place in a slow cooker for 3–4 hours and dinner is done!

1 Tbsp olive oil 1 lb baby chicken 1 tsp sea salt ½ tsp ground black pepper 2 red peppers, chunked ¼ cup coconut aminos (or soy sauce) ¼ cup rice wine vinegar ₁⁄₃ cup honey 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 cup raw cashews 4 scallions, sliced, for garnishing Heat a frying pan over high heat and add oil.

Season chicken with salt and pepper and add to pan. Cook until well-browned, about 3 minutes per side.

Transfer browned chicken to a slow cooker and add peppers.

In a small bowl, combine coconut aminos, rice wine vinegar, honey, and garlic; add cashews and mix. Pour over chicken.

Cover and cook on low for 3–4 hours.

Top with sliced scallions.

In the pages of Wellspring, we share expert advice from some of the community’s most popular and competent dietitians and nutritionists. In this column, you get to see how they practice what they preach in their own kitchens. Pull up a chair at “My Table” and join the chat.

This Month:

Midday Refueling With nothing but coronavirus on our minds, here’s this month's question: If you’re a parent with kids at home, lunch has gone from being your only chance for "me time" to one of the most hectic times of the day. How do you give yourself the nutritious fill you desperately need at that hour? What are you having for lunch today?

Tamar Feldman, RDN, CDE: If I have a pot of bean or lentil soup in my fridge, I will heat some and enjoy it with wholegrain crackers or sprouted-grain bread. When I have time, I make sure to prep a protein, such as egg salad or tuna the night before, which I can quickly grab with a whole-grain starch and a handful of easy veggies. In a real time pinch, I grab a healthy muffin along with a Greek yogurt and nuts to hold me over until I can sit down to a more substantial and energizing meal.

Laura Shammah, MS, RDN: Before every flight, the airline attendant instructs the passengers: "In case of emergency, first place the mask on yourself and then assist those who are unable to help themselves." I believe that in order to take care of my kids properly and with patience, I must make sure to take care of myself as well. I take a couple of minutes to prepare myself a quick sandwich so I am able to tend to them.

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Leah Wolofsky, MS, CDN, Esq.: Lunch today will likely be leftovers from last night (turkey roast and potatoes), paired with frozen veggies that I will throw in the oven.

The secret to managing any hectic time (whether lunch time now — when the kids are home — or any Yom Tov in non-COVID periods), is to prepare in advance to the greatest extent possible.

There are many healthy aspects of a meal that can be prepped in advance of hectic times. For example, salads for lunch can be pre-chopped the night before, and soups can be stocked in the fridge, or even the freezer. The fridge can be filled with ready-togo fruits (such as apples, pears, and grapes) and the pantry can be loaded with canned options.

Tanya Rosen, Nutritionist:

I — and many of my clients — find that we actually have more time, not less, for nutritious meals and sitting down to eat these days. We’re not running around doing a million errands or grabbing something at a cafe.

I find that when a mother eats healthy, her kids do, too.

When my kids see me eating a salad or a TAP goodie, they end up wanting some. So a big incentive can and is to be a role model to our kids, taking the time to sit down and eating a balanced and nutritious meal.

Here are three easy ideas I’ve been using that are great for myself and the kids (no need to make separate meals): 1. Whole-wheat macaroni with low-fat cheese and veggies 2. Whole-wheat pizza topped with veggies 3. Whole-wheat sandwiches with peanut butter, turkey, eggs, or cheese, and veggies Also, every day, I put out a platter of sliced colorful veggies for the kids to munch on.

Dr. Rachael Schindler Shani Taub, CDC: This is my most important meal.

It gives me the ko'ach to have more patience for and to take care of my kids properly.

Today I’m having a hardboiled egg with salad and crackers. Eggs and salad can be prepared the night before and stored in the fridge so that they’ll be all ready when mealtime comes around.

I also love Greek yogurt with Fiber One inside, or a packet of oatmeal with a yogurt.

I love having pumpkin bake (recipe below) with nonfat Greek yogurt on top. It’s so delicious and has the consistency of a peanut butter bar. I like to eat it hot.

Pumpkin Bake (Serves 6) 1 15-oz can plain pumpkin purée 2 eggs or 3 egg whites 1 Tbsp cinnamon 1 Tbsp cardamom (optional) 5 Tbsp cornstarch, dissolved in 4 oz unsweetened almond milk 1 Tbsp vanilla sugar Sweetener (I don’t use any, but feel free to add to taste) Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix and place in a greased 9x13 pan.

Bake covered for one hour.

Compiled by Shiffy Friedman

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Shira Savit, MA, MHC, CHC: Although life is definitely busier and more hectic with the kids home, having a nutritious and filling lunch is a nonnegotiable for me. I actually make sure to eat my lunch before I serve my kids.

Sometimes they are so hungry by that point that they want to eat whatever I am having (good tactic to get the kids to eat healthy food!), and even if that’s not the case, they see that I am setting aside time to tend to my needs, so that I can have more energy to take care of the family.

What do I eat for lunch? That depends on the day. In general, I aim for a protein, a healthy fat, and a whole-grain carbohydrate, such as an omelette with sliced avocado and toasted spelt bread. I usually tune into what my body is asking for at the time, what I have available, and how much time I have to make whatever that is.

Don't worry, I also think that chocolate is a nonnegotiable.

Bashy Halberstam, INHC:

I like to have foods that are easy to prepare on hand. Here are some examples:

Low-Carb Rolls I make a batch and store them separately in Ziploc bags. They serve as a convenient meal base.

Almond-Flour-Based Goodies I prepare a treat for Shabbos and keep the rest in the freezer. This way, when I’m too busy to prepare something for myself I can have a baked good with a tea, chicory drink, hot cocoa, or whatever I’m in the mood for. Carrot cake is a current favorite of mine.

1 cup oil 1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp baking powder 2 tsp baking soda ¼ tsp salt 4 cups almond flour

Pizza-Maker Meals

Preheat oven to 350°F.

I really enjoy the Betty Crocker Pizza Maker. It enables me to have a meal with little prep time. I line it with a piece of parchment paper, which makes cleanup easy, too. Cooking time is less and the taste is better, too.

Beat egg whites until almost stiff. Add the sweeteners and beat until stiff.

Mix the rest of the ingredients in a separate bowl. Add the stiffened egg whites and mix.

Press the mixture into an 8-inch square or 5x7 baking pan. Bake for 45 minutes.

Carrot Cake: 2 cups shredded carrots

Soups

3 eggs, separated

When I’m in the mood for something warm, I’ll have a soup that I prepared for supper. Blended soups are generally faster and easier to prepare, since I

¼ cup coconut sugar ½ tsp organic sweet-leaf stevia

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don’t have to worry about cutting them nicely into small pieces. Plus, blended soups are a great way to get the kids to eat vegetables, and they're satiating and healthy. I enjoy sitting down and relaxing with a bowl of rich, blended vegetable soup midday.

I recently enjoyed this pizza-maker meal: On one side, place a slice of fish and season to taste. On the other side, pour some olive or avocado oil and the contents of a bag of frozen vegetables.

Season with salt and pepper. Cover and cook for about 12 minutes.

(Although any vegetables can be used, I especially like B'gan’s Prince Edward Island Blend.)

Eat Well

Nutrition Tidbits in the News By By Laura Shammah, MS, RDN

Alive Well and

Ten Foods that Top the Probiotic Charts If you’re looking to support your digestive and brain health, you may want to get your fill of probiotics, which are live microorganisms — the “good bacteria.” More and more research is considering gut health and how it relates to obesity and weight, finding that the millions of bacteria that live in our guts may play a large role in altering the way we store fat, how we balance blood sugar, and how we respond to satiety hormones. Fueling our gut with beverages and foods that stimulate good bacteria may make losing weight easier than we ever thought possible.

Luckily, probiotic-rich foods are more widespread than ever and are increasingly gaining popularity. Here are some of the best ones on the market.

Eat Well

Nutrition Tidbits in the News

Sauerkraut

Yogurt Yogurt ranks high up in the probiotic food list. Many yogurts contain lactobacillus, one of the most studied bacterial strains.

The US National Yogurt Association gives a “live and active cultures” seal to yogurts containing 100 million cultures per gram (or 10 million cultures per gram for frozen yogurt products), so try to buy products with that designation.

This finely shredded cabbage that has been fermented by lactic acid bacteria is another food that packs in the probiotics. In addition to its probiotic qualities, sauerkraut is rich in fiber as well as vitamins C, B, and K. While it is high in sodium, it contains iron and manganese, as well as the antioxidants lutein and zeaxanthin, which are important for eye health.

Pickles Pickled cucumbers are a great source of healthy probiotic bacteria.

Although they’re low in calories and a good source of vitamin K, an essential nutrient for blood clotting, pickles also tend to be high in sodium.

Pickles made with vinegar, however, do not contain live probiotics.

Tempeh A traditional food originating in Indonesia, this fermented soybean food is usually found as a loaf or patty, and is used for many plant-based diets as an alternative to poultry and meat.

A great source of probiotics, protein, and calcium, tempeh also contains many other essential vitamins and minerals.

Kefir Cheese Although most cheeses are fermented, not all contain probiotics. Check the food labels to see if the product contains live and active cultures. The good bacteria survive the aging process in some cheeses, such as mozzarella, cheddar, and cottage cheese.

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Kefir is another probioticrich product available in most supermarkets, and unlike yogurt, many people who are lactose intolerant can drink kefir without a problem. The beverage is also higher in probiotics than yogurt. Kefir is made by adding lactic acid bacteria and yeast— called "grains”— to cow, goat, coconut, or soy milk. Research suggests the drink can improve bone and digestive health, as well as fight infection.

Miso This Japanese staple is a paste made from soybeans — and sometimes mixed with barley, rice, or rye as well — that is fermented with a starter called koji. It’s added to many Japanese dishes and is commonly consumed in miso soup. Research shows that miso can lower a person’s heart rate, as well as fight cancer.

Kombucha This fizzy, pleasantly puckery fermented beverage is made by adding a probiotic-rich bacteria to lightly sweetened tea. Kombucha is readily available in most supermarkets and comes loaded with probiotics — just be sure to look for brands with less than 5 grams of sugar per serving.

Probiotic levels in kombucha vary. The pasteurized version ranks low since the pasteurization process kills bacteria, so unless you’re vulnerable in any way, you’d want to look out for “raw” kombucha. Pregnant women, children, the elderly, and anyone else with a vulnerable immune system should stick to pasteurized products.

Most people either love or hate this fizzy, sour-tasting fermented tea. I’m glad I like it. My favorite flavor is KeVita Mojito’s lime mint coconut.

Sourdough Bread An old favorite that has recently risen in popularity, sourdough contains a culture of yeasts and beneficial bacteria that occur naturally in bread flour and dough, and therefore offers a much more natural, easier digestion than other breads.

Green Olives Green olives are brined in salt water, which causes them to undergo natural fermentation and form probiotics.

Pass the Salt… and Pass It On New Research Reveals Its Negative Effects on the Immune System

By Malka Sharman It’s no news that too much salt in your food may be detrimental to your health. Now, a new study on the effects of salt that was conducted at the University of Bonn in Great Britain and appeared in the journal Science Translational Medicine, showed that a diet high in sodium is not only bad for blood pressure, as previously thought, but surprisingly, also for the immune system.

In the original study, mice that were fed a high-salt diet were found to suffer from much more severe bacterial infections than the control group. Later, human volunteers who consumed an additional six grams of salt per day also showed pronounced immune deficiencies. If you think that’s a lot of salt, this amount corresponds to the salt content of just two fast food meals.

According to the recommendations of the World Health Organization (WHO), five grams — approximately one teaspoon

— of salt is the maximum daily intake for adults. Most people however, exceed this limit considerably. Figures from the Robert Koch Institute suggest that on average, men consume about ten grams daily, while women tend to consume more than eight grams a day.

This means that we reach for the salt shaker much more than is good for us. "We have now been able to prove for the first time that excessive salt intake also significantly weakens an important arm of the immune system," explains Professor Dr. Christian Kurts from the University of Bonn.

In the volunteers, the excessive salt intake resulted in increased glucocorticoid levels. That in turn inhibits the immune system. Much research is yet to be done as to how exactly salt intake compromises immunity, but for now a little less salt certainly won’t hurt.

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MUSCLE STRENGTH

BY YOSSI & MALKY LEVINE

Our muscles play an invaluable role in our functioning. They’re the reason we can walk, run, climb, and carry.

But as we age, muscle strength deteriorates. Because muscles and bones are linked, it’s vital that we look after them both.

This does not necessitate lifting heavy weights or setting sizable bicep goals, but resistance training (any workout that builds strength and muscle) is extremely important to retain muscle strength. Such exercise training increases the metabolism and can lower body fat. When it comes to building muscles, one’s diet is as important as going to the gym. Protein is the key to building strong muscles. What better way to get a shot of protein in the morning than with a delicious shake?

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1 cup Greek yogurt 1 cup milk of your choice 3 Tbsp peanut butter 1 handful spinach leaves 2 Tbsp maple syrup 1 cup frozen berries Blend everything together in a blender and drink immediately.

Why these foods for muscle strength?

Maple syrup

Greek yogurt

This natural sweetener from the sap of maple trees contains zinc and manganese. Manganese enhances muscle and nerve function, and zinc is involved in muscle protein synthesis — a key player in building muscle strength.

Milk

Spinach It’s not only the iron in spinach, but also its folic acid and calcium that makes it such a prominent muscle food. Some people find that spinach has a “metallic” taste (due to its high iron content), but in this shake, there’s plenty of sweetness to mask it.

Milk has 18 essential amino acids, the building blocks of muscle tissue.

Milk also contains leucine, the key amino acid that helps activate muscle protein synthesis.

Frozen berries All berries contain antioxidants called polyphenols. This is essential in building up cells, particularly in muscles.

It’s not just the protein content of Greek yogurt that helps with muscle building, it’s also the calcium content, which is vital for muscle contraction. Greek yogurt does have a higher fat content than regular yogurt, but it’s the nutrients which are dissolved in the fat that will encourage stronger muscles.

Peanut butter Nut butter is also a source of protein which is essential for building and repairing muscle.

Peanuts are high in protein, and because they have a low glycemic index, they enter the bloodstream quickly. Peanut butter is particularly good for your heart (the body’s most vital muscle) as it contains thiamine, which plays an essential role in converting carbs into energy — and is therefore essential for the function of the heart, muscles, and nervous system.

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Farewell

Dictionary

Neutropenia Definition: noun

the presence of abnormally few neutrophils in the blood, leading to increased susceptibility to infection.

“

For the transplant to be effective, Shlomo’s immune system had to be dialed down to zero. The condition in which a patient has no, or a very low, immune system is known as neutropenia.

”

Shlomo's mother, Feature

24,5

PMS PMS

The ABC's of Good Health

Life is complicated. But getting your daily vitamins doesn't have to be. Packed with Vitamins A, B, and C, our juices are delicious beverages that are actually good for you. So enjoy a guilt-free glass (or two!).

Available in the fresh and frozen section of your local grocery.

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HEART.WORKS

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