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NORTH COSTA BLANCA

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FRIDAY, 10 MARCH, 2017

Xpat EXCLUSIVE

Consul’s eyes and ears

Team OLA has become the British Consulate’s eyes and ears on the street, playing a vital role in testing the mood of expats in changing times. Continued on page 5

Sarah-Jane Morris (pictured front row, second from right) and some of the team

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

WANT TO WORK WITH US? SALES REPRESENTATIVE SOUTH COSTA BLANCA

Brexit bill’s second blow by JACK TROUGHTON THE GOVERNMENT suffered a second defeat in the House of Lords this week as peers called for a “meaningful” parliamentary vote on the ﬁnal terms of leaving the European Union. A vote of 366 to 268 backed a second amendment – aimed at giving Parliament the right of a veto on any Brexit deal – included 13 Tory rebels.

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MINISTER The 83-year-old peer, who served as a minister in Margaret Thatch Thatcher’s government and is nicknamed ‘Tarzan’, had highlighted his in intention to rebel and believes the future of the UK is “inextricably interwo interwoven with our European friends.” He said during the

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Seven days earlier the Lords had backed another amendment to the 137-word legislation that authorises Theresa May to officially notify the EU of Britain’s intention to leave and pave the way for negotiations. The first alteration was to give a unilateral guarantee to the rights of EU citizen residing in the UK. The government does not wish to give the undertaking without a reciprocal deal from the 27 other member countries. Ministers say losing a second vote was disappointing but are confi confident the House of Commons will overturn the moves when the bill returns to the lower house. And there was a high-profile Con Conservative casualty. Lord Heseltine was sacked as a government advisor on regional development after being appointed by David Cameron six years ago.

Water, water everywhere Populations up and down the country can breathe a temporary sigh of relief as the latest water reserve ﬁgures for Spain have been released by the Ministry of Agriculture. Thanks to the recent heavy rain that has fallen across the country, overall, the reserves stand at 58% of its total capacity with the reservoirs currently holding 32,476 cubic hectometres of water. In one week, the ﬁgure has increased by a further 432 cubic hectometres – 0.8% of the country’s total capacity. Looking at the area that covers the Southern Costa Blanca, the supply has increased to 30.9% capacity, up from a worrying 25.5% only as recently as December 2016.

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three-hour debate: “It’s the duty of Parliament to assert its authority in determining the legacy we leave to new generations of young people.” According to the Parliament website the turnout in the Lords for the high-profile vote was the highest since 1831 and peers called for the final terms of any deal regarding the UK leaving Europe to be put to votes in both the Commons and the Lords – crossbench peer Lord Pannick saying it would give Parliament some “control” over the process and fulfil its duty to scrutinise legislation. However, government peers argued Parliament would not be “left in the dark” during the two-year process and would help shape key legislation. Brexit Secretary David Davis was in the Lords to listen to the debate. Afterwards, he said the peers appeared to be threatening the UK’s aim of getting negotiations underway as soon as possible; still scheduled to start by triggering Article 50 at the end of the month. “It would appear that some in the Lords would seek to frustrate that process and it is the government’s intention to ensure that does not happen,” he said. “We will now seek to overturn these amendments in the House of Commons.”

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Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

Youngsters turn the pages

STUDENTS AND teachers enjoyed a celebration of ‘World Book Day’ at the Elian’s British School in La Nucia. by JACK TROUGHTON It was an opportunity for youngsters of all ages to discover the joy of reading – with older students helping junior colleagues from across the Costa Blanca to read some magical tales. And secondary students also had the opportunity to practice English skills by playing a variety of games including Blockbusters, Spelling Bees, The Weakest Link, Call My Bluff, and even speed dating.

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

10 minutes with Simon Manley (and Brexit) THE RIGHTS of expats living and working in Spain are an “absolute priority” for the British Government once the UK begins negotiations to leave the European Union, promised Ambassador Simon Manley. by jack troughton The British Embassy in Madrid and its Consular network across the country have been busy talking to Brits and gauging opinion, and feeding people’s concerns back to London. Speaking in Benidorm last Friday, Mr Manley said: “The interesting thing is we have been talking to expats across Spain, there is a lot of uncertainty, worry, and a lot of questions. “There is an extraordinary diversity in the sort of concerns people have and that reflects the different communities across Spain, the retirees on the Costas and those in Madrid or Barcelona who are working and have companies or are self-employed.” Mr Manley was meeting the Costa Blanca media at the Melia Villaitana Hotel. Reporters were given a private 10 to 15 minutes to interview the diplomat. He said he had met a whole range of different concerns, many depending on age. A big issue for retired people was access to health car – for younger families there were concerns about children being able top go to British universities. “What we try and do is capture those concerns, understand the importance of them, and make sure that people in London understand

the depth and breadth of those issues – allowing them to be placed into the government’s planning…and negotiations to come.” The ambassador was speaking after the House of Lords had delivered a Brexit blow, calling for EU citizens to have their rights immediately protected, ahead of triggering article 50, the mechanism to leave the bloc. PRIORITY However, Mr Manley stressed: “The absolute priority for us in the negotiations is a deal that covers both – the rights of EU citizens in the UK and UK citizens resident in Europe. “An early unilateral deal for EU citizens in Britain would neglect the rights of UK nationals in Europe. We do not think that’s right. “ In the corridors of power of Madrid, Mr Manley underlined the ongoing “very strong and constructive relationship” between the British and Spanish governments. “We are talking all the time to the Spanish about the rights of respective nationals. I think Spain wants to stick to the broader EU position, which is right and proper,” he added. “They also are very helpfully clear that we need to find a deal in the interests of Spanish nationals and businesses in the UK and British nationals and businesses here - we will continue to work with the Spanish to try and do that sort of deal between the EU and UK.” He admitted one of the big differences between the respective Spanish and British communities was the number of retirees living in Spain. “The majority of EU citizens in the UK are either studying or working, the average age is lower. “We are going to look for the best possible deal for all British nationals here in Spain whether they are pensioners or working.”

Xpat EXCLUSIVE

Friday, March 10, 2017 Xpat 5

Consulate’s eyes and ears TEAM ‘OLA’ has become the British Consulate’s eyes and ears on the street, playing a vital role in testing the mood of expats in changing times. by JACK TROUGHTON An experiment launched in Alicante a year ago, key figures in communities across the Costa Blanca and Murcia were handpicked to become ‘Our Local Ambassadors’ - using their personal experiences to help others. And what started as an experiment is set to be expanded with the part-time diplomatic corps passing back first hand reports of topical issues such as Brexit back to the embassy in Madrid and, ultimately, to London. Sarah-Jane Morris (pictured front row, second from right), the British Consul in Alicante, came up with the concept and told Xpat: “It was very much a trial for the first year and we kept it quite low key for 12

months. “They have been our eyes and ears on the ground and let us know what is going on. If they pick up any rumours – especially with Brexit – we are able to put people right and point them in the right direction. “And certainly, we did get them to ask what expats felt about Brexit and people’s concerns. OLAs were able to test the mood on the street.” Xpat accepted an invitation to report the OLA story and over 12 months has interviewed individual members of the team and will continue to report on new members as faces change.

Alicante. OLAs were handed a unique memento, a signed framed photograph with Ambassador Simon Manley from the original launch. Sadly, some of the team were unable to make the celebration, but Mrs Morris is happy with the success of the scheme. “They have been fantastic, being our link with local communities. “We were able to celebrate a year of being together and we decided what we are doing in the coming year – we are carrying on with the same team but we also have new faces coming on board.”

ANNIVERSARY

And as well as using the pages of Xpat to publicise OLA, the individual local ambassadors also record a short video ﬁlm

The ﬁrst anniversary of the scheme was held last week in

St Patrick’s Day party

to share experiences of living in Spain. “This year we will look at how to get things done in Spain,” added Mrs Morris. “How to cope with Spanish bureaucracy – there are some quite quirky stories – but we keep things going forward. “We get an insight on things lo-

cally and advise on how to focus on our own ofﬁcial communications…and the informal feedback through OLA helps us too. “In many ways the team see things in a very different way and they articulate experiences in a different way that people understand. It is a very userfriendly scheme.”

PARTY GUESTS will be painting Valencia green on 17th March with a special St Patrick’s Day celebration. Organised by the International Women’s Club, the party starts at 8pm and continues into the early hours with tickets at 20 Euros including supper, drinks and music. And the celebrations are for a good cause; money raised will help restore the antique stained glass windows at the International Cemetery in Valencia. The party takes place at the Centro Civico, Massalfassar, Blasco Ibanez 13, 46560 Valencia. People are asked to buy tickets by 13th March; account IWC-Vla ES46 2100 9146 2522 0022 6008. Please note event and full name. For more information email Diana at cliftonsewell@gmail.com There is an hourly train from Estacion del Norte to Massalfassar; alternatively take a taxi from Valencia or drive; a map is available.

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Candy in the limelight by JACK TROUGHTON BRITISH AMBASSADOR Simon Manley presented charity volunteer Candy Wright with her ‘Point of Light’ award – the ﬁrst expat to receive the honour “beyond the borders of the UK.” The “delighted” diplomat travelled to Denia Hospital to present a framed certiﬁcate and a letter from Prime Minister Theresa May to the “distinguished and deserving” candidate. Candy is President of HELP of Denia and the Marina Alta and has worked with the charity for more than 30

years and as revealed in an earlier Xpat interview also tirelessly works with other good causes and leads amateur dramatic group Careline Theatre. Mr Manley told her: “You are an inspiration to us all; you have dedicated a great deal of time to helping others.” The Point of light scheme was launched in 1990 in the United States by President George HW Bush. A British version was started three years ago and it has become the Prime Minister’s gift to those who play a “crucial” role helping others. Candy took time to thank all her team. “I am the representative of all the people who contribute their time and help others in the community…it is for all of you.” She also thanked her family including her son and daughter who attended the ceremony. “Finally, like at the Oscars, I have to thank my parents who made me what I am, a happy person who loves to help others.”

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Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Everyone’s a runner!

RUNNERS OF all ages pounded the streets of Calpe on Sunday for the fifth annual Gran Hotel Solymar Run. by Jack Troughton More than 2,000 people took part in the event organised by Club IRUN Calpe and the town hall; men and women athletes covering the 9.4km circuit in separate event, a fun run also involving youngsters. Xpat reader and Calpe resident David Stockton got a front row seat to snap the action on his camera.

Songs of praise THE BUSY team at the Ermita San Josep in Fustera invite everyone to join in with two ever-popular events this month – singers and quizzers especially welcome. Songs of Praise offers people the chance to sing their hearts out on Monday 20th March and a social occasion starting with afternoon tea with sandwiches and cakes at 4pm. This is followed at 5pm by the singing of a number of rousing and moving hymns, chosen by the congregation at the weekly Church of England Sunday Services at San Josep. Asked to submit a list of their three favourite hymns; the most requested have been included. And just two days later, on Wednesday 22nd March, it is a case of ‘Who? What? Why? And When?’ as Sue and Colin McNae try to baffle one and all at another popular ‘Mega Quiz’, to be held at the Inn on the Green, Javea. Make up a team of six to eight players and reserve a table. Tickets for this fundraiser cost 12 Euros and include your choice of single course supper plate. For details of either of these events or to enter a team, call Carole Bentley on 671 152 932. For more information about the Costa Blanca Anglican Chaplaincy (the Church of England in Spain) visit www.costablanca-anglicanchaplaincy.org.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

Community spirit for GAW CHARITY GRANT A Wish has discovered a new community spirit after opening the doors of its Boutique in Javea Old Town. by JACK TROUGHTON THE TEAM of volunteers has enjoyed a warm welcome to Plaza de la Constitucion and are already cooperating with local businesses, fellow charities, and the town hall. The Grant A Wish Boutique opened its doors just over a month ago and already feels at home in Javea. Founder Jody told Xpat: “By putting a charity shop in the square we have been embraced by the bars on either side of the boutique and already feel very much a part of the community. “We also had a great welcome from Mayor Jose Chulvi, who has endorsed our Day of Fitness event in the square on 23rd April, on the last day of the beer festival.” Outside the boutique has become a little cafe society where people congregate for a drink or a snack. “It’s something of a social hub and also a retreat for people waiting for appointments at the nearby heath centre.” And Jody said a new link with Javea-based charity ‘Todos Juntos’ was already helping families – this week a whole family were kitted out with new clothing and vouchers to help buy food. “We have said ‘if you have a family needing help; bring them to us’, we can help with clothing, shoes and accessories.” Jody added: “The response to the shop has been amazing; not only because of the wonderful

quality clothing but also the greetings cards, toys and books.” Grant A Wish is also seeking to put the fun back into fund raising. There is an Easter Cake Competition in conjunction with Bakerella – all entries to be delivered to the boutique by 2pm on 10th April; and The Walk on Friday 7th April.

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

State pensions under pressure NEW FIGURES released by the Office for Budget Responsibility include an ‘older age’ scenario in which the state pension age could rises to 74 by the 2060s - and where there are over one million people aged over 100-years-old. by DARREN JAMES Taking into account the more modest predictions published by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) at the same time, state pension age will rise to 69 for those up to their mid 30s. Former Pensions Minister Steve Webb, now director of policy at Royal London, said: “Our society could be completely transformed in a generation in ways that we can barely imagine and for which we are totally unprepared. “It is clear that the Government has already built in an assumption of a pension age of 69 for today’s under 35s, but pension ages could rise much further and faster.” He added: “A world where we cannot get a pension until we are 74 and a million people

have celebrated their 100th birthday would need a total rethink of our approach to work, savings, health and care. “The Government needs to do much more to give younger workers in particular a more realistic picture of what their later life could look like. The old age experiences of today’s younger workers are likely to be unrecognisable from those of their parents and grandparents. “The only people who have choices about when they retire will be those who have a significant pension or other assets of their own and are therefore not dependent on the age at which state pension becomes payable”. Sir John Cridland, who is the Government’s independent reviewer of state pension age, is expected to publish his recom-

mendations later this month. The Government will then take account of his findings and proposals together with the latest longevity estimates from its Actuary’s Department before recommending a revised schedule of state pension ages. Currently, it’s planned for state pension age to reach 66 in 2020, 67 by 2028 and 68 by 2046. It is widely expected that the new recommendations will, for the first time, give a provisional date for state pension age to rise to at least 69, and current DWP assumptions are that this will be in the early 2050s. Under the 2015 Pension Act, similar reviews have to take place every five years, and a person’s state pension age will only be confirmed when they are ten years from state pension age.

Barcelona bans old cars BARCELONA WILL ban old cars from driving into Spain’s second city from 1st January 2019 - the first agreement of its kind in Spain. Cars registered before 1997 and vans from before 1994 will not be able to travel on weekdays in the 40 municipalities of Barcelona; a measure adopted at a recent meeting of the council. The goal is to reduce traffic related emissions by 30% over a 15-year period and by 10% in the next five. And the move is aimed at eventually achieving levels recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO). According to data from city hall, air pollution is the cause of 3,500 premature deaths annually in the Barcelona area. In February 2016, the European Commission warned that some of its member states, and especially cities like Madrid and Barcelona, needed to lower levels of

Happy birthday! MEMBERS OF U3A Vall del Pop wished John Chilcott a happy 85th birthday and offered their thanks for his part in helping establish hill walking as one of the association’s favourite activities. John has been an active member of U3A since it was established a decade ago in the area and until January was leader of the Friday Walking Group – taking friends to a different part of the countryside and hills. Members spent a day in the fresh air and countryside admiring the views; and ended each outing with a visit to a local hostelry. John (pictured) will now enjoy his walks without having to shepherd others but U3A Vall del Pop still has weekly walking groups; on Wednesdays a halt day trip and on Thursdays a full day out. For further information check the website http://u3avalldelpop.com.The U3A is all about enjoyment and learning, and this is particularly evident in the U3AVall del Pop group, whose members generally meet on the first Thursday of each month at the Centre Polivalentin Murla.

LEARN TO PLAY BRIDGE at JAVEA SCHOOL OF BRIDGE & SOCIAL CLUB Arenal, Javea

nitrogen dioxide - NO2 - in the air. The measures announced

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106,018 cars, which account for 7% of the car fleet and 22,049 vans or 16% of the total.

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Friday, March 10, 2017

For whom the bell tolls COMPLAINTS ABOUT the noise from the bells of a Marina Alta church have brought changes to when they are sounded – they will only ring for religious services and holidays. by JACK TROUGHTON The chimes they are a changing at Our Lady of Loreto in Javea Port – frequently known as the Fishermen’s Church – in a dispute dating back to 2009. The church hopes to ﬁnd new appeal for the bells and they will now only be heard to announce religious services, funerals, and religious holidays linked to the parish. Investigations revealed noise levels were sometimes double the legal limit. However, it is hoped a new bell tower will reduce the problem for neighbours – some people are already said to be missing the chimes.

Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

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Merseybeat sails on GERRY AND the Pacemakers took a sell-out crowd on a sixties cruise across the Mersey on Sunday evening at the Benidorm Palace. by JACK TROUGHTON The Merseybeat was alive and well for hundreds who turned out to hear all the hits performed live; including ‘Ferry Across the Mersey’, ‘How Do You Do It?’, ‘It’s All Right’, and the anthem ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’. Xpat reader and keen photographer David Stockton, of Calpe, enjoyed his night out and took his camera along to catch 74-year-old Gerry Marsden live on stage – together with special guest, the Irish comedian Jimmy Cricket.

International rescue THE MABS Support Group in Finestrat quickly responded to an appeal for baby buggies; supplying three to the Red Cross from its charity shop.

Pedro Dominguez, co-ordinator of the Cruz Roja and British Embassy intitiative ‘The European Residents Project’, drove to La Cala Finestrat

on Tuesday to collect the buggies, which are needed by hard-pressed refugee families. Pedro made an appeal for the equip-

ment in last week’s Xpat and was delighted at such a quick response. He is based at the Red Cross headquarters in Alicante and ensures there is a link between all the expat charities across Valencia to get help where it is urgently needed.

Friday, March 3, 2017 Xpat 13

Friday, March 10, 2017

XpatComment with Darren James

Four little words TO SLIGHTLY misquote Basil Fawlty from the classic BBC episode ‘The Kipper & the Corpse’: “It’s not the Gettysburg Address. Just four little words, dear, that bring a little happiness into the world.”

The four words in question that would certainly make a few million people both in the UK and across the EU happy and content are: “You won’t be deported.” I simply question why that simple phrase can’t be used. My story last week featuring an interview with a local councillor on her concerns about voting rights post Brexit caused some to accuse me of

being a scaremonger! Really? That makes me according to the dictionary, ‘a bringer of doom and gloom; an alarmist.’ I disagree with those detractors. There is a big difference between spreading misinformation and bringing to the attention of people a possibly new area for debate, and this week I bring you those four little words. I ﬁnd it more than fascinating that the subject of the plight of the EU citizens living in the UK and those of us from Blighty living among ‘Johnny Foreigner’ has jumped to the top of the Brexit discussion charts with the speed of a 1990s Take That single; and yet before the referendum in June the silence of the subject was deafening. Can you imagine Nigel Farage and others of his persuasion saying in the lead

up to the vote: “We want EU migrants living in the UK to stay in the country?” CAMPAIGN Think of the numbers of votes that would’ve cost the Leave campaign from those that believed that they thought they’d be getting rid of such people? Many may well deny that scenario, saying that everyone was aware that was the policy. Really? This was only brought up after the vote to any signiﬁcant degree. I’m yet to be convinced that anything other than a small minority voted to Leave for reasons other than immigration, and many will be the same people who, on the day after UK leaves the EU, will be wondering why Mr & Mrs Mohammed are still living in their street. It’s going to happen. As to our ‘rights to remain’, I still refer

to the fact that any EU citizen living within the EU for more than ﬁve years has a permanent right of residence. What is missing at the end of that sentence is, “under current EU laws and treaties.” That’s why I believe assurances cannot be given and why Theresa May hasn’t gone down the unilateral road demanded by many. Legally, it’s just too complicated. “Ah, but folk were able to live and work in Spain before they [and the UK] joined the EU,” I’m told. Very true, but that was under the laws in existence at those times. Subsequent treaties superseded them and we now live in Spain under current EU law. But what do I know? I’m just a scaremonger from Barcelona! Contact Darren at: darren.james@thexpatnews.com

Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

More Benidorm on the way ITV’s award winning comedy Benidorm returned to the channel last week for its ninth series winning its timeslot and peaking at 4.9m – and more tales of the famous holiday resort are on the way. by Darren James And as the new series starts, the casting call took place in the Costa Blanca’s major tourist city at the end of February; the popular comedy has been commissioned for a tenth series on ITV, which goes into production on location this month and will air 2018 on the channel. First screened in 2007 in a 30-minute format, the show has grown to be hugely popular with ITV viewers and has been BAFTA nominated and won numerous TV awards over the years, including two National TV Awards. Series 10 will see legendary comedy duo Hale & Pace join the series as undercover detectives investigating Tim Healy’s character Les and Lesley, who returns to the series full time. Shane Richie is back for four episodes reprising his role as lively entertainer Sammy Valentino and John Challis becomes a series regular with his character Monty Staines. SILVER Troy (Paul Bazely), The Oracle (Johnny Vegas) and Tiger (Danny Walters) will not be returning for series 10; however, the Dawsons (Julie Graham, Steve Edge, Kate Fitzgerald, Bobby Knutt and

Josh Bolt) all return with Billy and Sheron celebrating their silver wedding anniversary. And regulars Joyce Temple Savage (Sherrie Hewson), Mateo (Jake Canuso), Noreen (Elsie Kelly), Pauline (Selina Griffiths), Liam (Adam Gillen), Kenneth (Tony Maudsley), Sam (Shelley Longworth), Joey (Nathan Bryon) and Jacqueline (Janine Duvitski) all return. Show creator, writer and executive producer Derren Litten said: “When I wrote the first script of Benidorm I had no idea it would change my life so dramatically over the next 10 years. “As I put the finishing touches to the 74th episode I am so grateful to our fans and to ITV for giving Benidorm the best possible home we could hope for. Here’s to the next 10 years!” Saskia Schuster, ITV’s Comedy Commissioner added: “Benidorm is very much part of the ITV family with viewers taking these wonderful characters to their hearts. Show creator, writer and exec producer Derren Litten has some great plans for the tenth series and it’s a real treat to welcome Hale & Pace and Shane Richie to the Solana resort.”

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

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Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

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Step by Step Spanish HI JANE CRONIN, we are still with you, still saving all the articles and compiling our Spanish bible from them. WE JUST WANT to say thanks for all the help you have given us with our Spanish since you started with the ﬁrst issue, 12th May 2008. My wife and I have lots of Spanish friends as a result of your efforts to enable us to put things in the right order and in the right ‘recall boxes’. Our life in Spain is so much better for having Spanish friends and the conﬁdence to communicate with them. Please don’t stop writing your articles. Castell de Castells is so quiet today I am going to devote the rest of today to the ‘Subjunctive’ before I have a rest.

for fun!

5. What colour is a Welsh poppy? 6. What colour is a Himalayan poppy? 7. Name the game played on a lawn called a ‘crown green’. 8. Give the alternative name for a Mountain Ash tree. 9. Which kind of bulbs were once exchanged as a form of currency? 10. By which Latin name was Rosa Gallica previously known?

1. Capability Brown 2. Kew Gardens. 3. Geoff Hamilton. 4. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. 5. Yellow. 6. Blue. 7. Bowls. 8. Rowan. 9. Tulips. 10. Rosa Mundi.

1. By what name is Lancelot Brown more usually known? 2. Name the world famous gardens situated ten miles outside of London, close to the River Thames. 3. Which popular gardener created Barnsdale Gardens and was the author of many books such as The Ornamental Kitchen Garden, ‘Gardeners World’ Practical Gardening Course and Paradise Gardens? 4. Which garden is considered to be among the Seven Wonders of the An Ancient World?

Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

#newsbites Two-wheeled adventures Rotary sells lots

by Jack Troughton

JAVEA U3A member Peter Atkinson found himself with mountains to climb as he cycled from Seville via Salamanca to San Sebastian. His planned start was delayed when his bag went missing and he was later hit by a reversing car and ended up being treated in hospital and interviewed by the French police! Hence the title of his talk to the Javea U3A Travellers’ Tales Group became “A Traveller’s Tale of Woe and Joy: Across France on a Bicycle … and Three Cities Beginning with S”. However, nothing deters this cycling dynamo: his beautifully illustrated presentation, enhanced by some brilliant photography, thrilled the audience at the Casa de Cultura in Javea Old Town and confirmed that persistent Peter did indeed complete and thoroughly enjoy his intended challenge. Not only did he stop off regularly to take stunning photos of some beautiful scenery and fascinating architecture, but he managed to cycle a total of 823km, the equivalent of 75km a day. Peter (pictured centre), who is also the U3A’s History Group leader, received a warm round of applause from his audience and a special vote of thanks from Travellers’ Tales group leaders Angela Chantry and Tony Dearie. For details of further Travellers’ Talks and other U3A activities, visit the website

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ROTARY INTERNATIONAL Fellowship, Costa Blanca North, raised more than 775 Euros for local charities and support groups at last Friday’s annual auction. Generous donations from members and friends, allowed auctioneer Martin Bentley - aided and supported by a volunteer team - brought his hammer down on an incredible number of goods. Items included a top of the range laptop computer and printer; a flat screen TV; some quality wines with various gadgets to store, cool and open them, and an ice crusher. A floor polisher; sewing machine, telescopic fishing equipment, bicycles and a garden hammock made up some of the more unusual items, not to mention an ‘Elvis Presley Clock’ with the ‘King’ performing on the hour...and a timer to keep him quiet at night! And a delighted President Andrew Johnson said that any unsold items would now be passed on to a local charity shop. The Fellowship welcomes all Rotarians and partners, irrespective of whether they live here in Spain or are just visiting. Meetings are in English on Friday lunchtimes at Los Leones, Sol Park, Moraira. For more details visit ‘rotaryfellowshipcostablanca.com’

Friday, March 10, 2017 Xpat 21

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Spain’s new sex tsar SPAIN HAS appointed its first ‘sex tsar’ as the country’s birth rate was said to have dropped “catastrophically”. by Darren James The Spanish senate has appointed Edelmira Barreira an expert in demographics to investigate the problem and put forward a new strategy to reverse it. For the first time ever in 2015, the number of people dying in Spain showed a higher figure than births. Statistics showed Spaniards between the ages of 18–49 produced an average of 1.3 children; a number that is below the 1.58 European Union (EU) average. Many other European countries have witnessed a decline in their birth rates, but the latest figures from

‘Eurostat’ shows Spain having one of the lowest in the developed world. The research also showed that overall the birth rate in Spain has fallen by 18% in the last nine years and in other data, released by Spanish think-tank ‘Funcas’, numbers of childless couples in the country rose from 1.5 to 4.4 million between 1977 and 2015 – an increase of 193%. Professor of the IE Business School in Madrid, Rafael Puyol believes the stresses of modern life are the cause of the declining population. Young couples, he

says are “too tired after a full day’s work and have too many late nights”. He stressed: “They do not help with making a family. Then a child arrives and it is even worse.” According to a report in The Guardian two years ago, consultant Alejandro Macarrón warned: “We have provinces in Spain where for every baby born, more than two people die. And the ratio is moving closer to one to three.” In conjunction with Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, Ms Barreira will produce a discussion paper on a national strategy to assess imbalances to the country’s population. Other countries have already done their bit to promote baby making. Back in 2014, a “Do It for Denmark” campaign was encouraged by the government and had an almost immediate positive effect on the birth rate; and in 2007 Russia selected 12th September as a national “Day of Conception” and women who gave birth nine months later to the day won a fridge.

Corruption case fails THE MAYOR of Mojacar, Rosmari Cano has survived corruption allegations brought by a political opponent; the case dismissed by a judge sitting in Vera. Ms Cano (pictured) was accused of misrepresentation and embezzlement over the hire of a company to carry out work in the municipality, in the Arbollón and El Fronton areas of the town. The case, which started in July 2014, was previously dismissed by the Vera Courts after the Prosecutor’s Office reported there was no case to answer. However, last month, an appeal was lodged on behalf of the Socialist Group of Mojácar. The court again found there were no criminal offences committed over the tender.

Spotlight on...ROEBUCK on... WEALTH

Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

“Traditional Values and Service” As the Financial Services industry continues to evolve in accordance with the latest innovations in digital technology such as the internet and social media we see more and more organisations telling us to go online and “sign Up”. All these companies have masses of data on ﬁle

about our spending habits, where we live, where we shop,which car we drive etc. We are then “encouraged” to go online with any queries and it has become increasingly difﬁcult to speak with a human being and if we do they could be on the other side of the world in a different time zone.

STOP!!

What with all the data breaches online, data theft, cloning, spam email and scams from cold callers…isn’t it time we got bad to “The Good Old Days”? At Roebuck Wealth we believe in Good Old Fashioned “Traditional Values and Service” with face to face advisers that care about your personal ﬁnancial goals and objectives and take time to listen and not rush you into a “sale”.

We We We We We We

don’t cold call don’t run seminars don’t use scare tac tics don’t stand in shopping centers don’t give away free stuff don’t confuse you with jargon

We DO give Face to Face advice We DO give all our advice in writing We DO explain everything clearly We DO review your plans regularly We DO what is best for you not us We DO care

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Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Spotlight on...

Brexit and Gibraltar With the subject of the future of UK and Spain relations over Gibraltar always bubbling just under the surface, Ministers held the second meeting of the Joint Ministerial Council (Gibraltar EU Negotiations) to discuss Brexit. The discussions centred around the opportunities and challenges in areas such as trade and market access, with ministers in agreement that we must ensure Gibraltar’s interests are taken into account. Speaking after the meeting, Minister for Exiting the European Union Robin Walker said: “We recognise that Gibraltar has particular interests, and that is why this dedicated forum is vital. It gives us the opportunity to discuss Gibraltar’s priorities and ensure their interests are taken into account. “We have had a useful and informative discussion today and I will continue to engage with Gibraltar throughout the negotiations, as we forge a new relationship with the EU and look outward into the world.” Europe Minister Sir Alan Duncan added his comment: “UK is steadfast in our support for Gibraltar, its people and its economy. As the UK leaves the EU, we

are making sure we understand the priorities of Overseas Territories, including Gibraltar, so that the new relationship with the EU works for all.” And the Chief Minister of Gibraltar Fabian Picardo said: “Today’s meeting has been an excellent opportunity to engage with the three lead departments in the UK Government which is important to Gibraltar in the context of our Brexit work. “Together we have looked at the politics of Brexit, we have looked at how our exit from the EU can create new opportunities for Gibraltar and how new partners around the world can work with us to create many of these new opportunities. “As the UK leaves the EU, the government will ensure the priorities of the Overseas Territories, including Gibraltar and the Crown Dependencies are understood through a range of engagements. These will continue after we trigger Article 50 and begin the process of exit later this month.”

Gibraltar is a British Overseas Territory with a population of over 32,000. In 2015/16, its GDP

was forecast to be £1.77bn. At the June 23rd EU Referendum, they voted just short of 96% to

Remain – the highest percentage in favour recorded throughout the UK.

Life A talented market Xpat

Friday, March 3, 2017

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THE COSTA Blanca’s inspiration for artists triggers a new initiative to get people to see what is on offer in the form of ‘The Art Market’. by JACK TROUGHTON T TON Pictures will hang on walls, sculpture stand on pedestals, on Thursday 16th March, when a public space is opened to appreciate and support the work of local artists. As formal galleries be-come expensive, the aim of an art market is to bring together a variety of artists into a space so they can talk - and sell - to their admirers. The Art Market is being hosted by Karla Darocas, a ﬁne arts specialist with some help from Robert Rich-ardson from Javea Art Hub, a Facebook group, and the friendly folks at the Church Centre of Javea. The market is open from 10am until 2pm and the Church Centre is on the north east side of the Plaza de la Constitución in Javea Old Town, where the regular Thursday market takes place. Underground parking is just under this market and signs to the Art Market will be around this area to signpost the destination. It is hoped The Art Market will inspire visitors and encourage them to invest in affordable art, created on the Costa.

#Puzzles Life Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

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Cryptic Crossword ACROSS 1. Liking a bit of a quarrel? I should say so! (6) 4. Engulfs in the fens (6) 9. It offers short cuts for calculating people (5-8) 10. They change battles, and may commemorate them (7) 11. Number of half even shares (5) 12. Filch 20 (5) 14. A number are beaten by a very narrow margin (5) 18. Where a leader should be, presumably (5) 19. Pretentious person is out of bed to begin with (7) 21. Not a capital expression (13) 22. Egghead will be swallowed up yet rise into notice (6) 23. Creatures need new nibs, for example (6)

DOWN

DOODLE AWAY...

1. I tarry, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s almost unique (6) 2. Compel to follow the scent? (4,2,3,4) 3. Some nasty legal fashion (5) 5. Vigilant fellow finally gets a fluke break (7) 6. The appearance of ruinous famine at the post (13) 7. Swerves with salver in ship (6) 8. 12 couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be smaller (5) 13. Spoiling by tacking on about fifty (7) 15. Get specimen from politician in auction (6) 16. A fistful of drink? (5) 17. They may pay for corresponding deliveries (6) 20. 8 are not fresh (5)

Sudoku

Quick ACROSS

DOWN

1. Combat (6)

1. Limb (6)

4. Private (6)

2. Play safe (4,2,7)

9. Invite disaster (3,3,7)

3. Slack (5)

10. Satisfy (7)

5. Feeling (7)

11. Creek (5)

6. Stirring up the mob (6-7)

12. Rascal (5)

7. Negotiation (6)

14. Harden (5)

8. Condition (5)

18. Accumulate (5)

13. Weighty (7)

19. Disparate (7)

15. Enmity (6)

21. Counter-charge (13)

16. Cower (5)

22. Banish (6)

17. Glimpse (6)

23. Hound (6)

20. In high spirits (5)

This weeks crossword answers and Suduko solution can be found on page 30.

You can play these wordwheels by whatever rules you like. But there is at least one nine letter word hidden in each wordwheel (and thus using every letter in the wordwheel). For many players the fun element and biggest challenge of the wordwheel is to find a nine letter word. Other than that, the rules are up to you - but generally you should restrict yourself to only finding words that contain the central letter, as otherwise you will find huge numbers of words in many puzzles!

Life #AuntyVirus Xpat

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Friday, March 10, 2017

Uninstalling IE9

Xpat

DEAR AUNTY, just after Christmas I bought a new Acer laptop and I was receiving numerous messages telling me I should download Internet Explorer 9. I didn’t bother for a while but eventually gave in and did the download. I now seem to be bombarded with flashing adverts which are a complete pain in the proverbial. Can you tell me how to uninstall IE9 and revert back to IE8? Aunty says: You’d imagine the System Restore function would do this Colin but it doesn’t seem to work properly so there’s an obvious problem with IE9. The only way I have seen this resolved is to go to ‘start’ ‘control panel’ then ‘programs’ and ‘uninstall a program’. Selected ‘view installed updates’ and then scroll down until you see IE9. Uninstall it and restart your laptop and you should be back with IE8.

Cannot find photos on PC DEAR AUNTY six months ago my old laptop had XP and I used to download photos from my Olympus digital camera merely by plugging it into a USB port. It would immediately respond with a popup window asking whether to copy or print etc. However my new laptop has Windows 7 and when I plug the camera in, the camera seems to acknowledge the connection to the laptop as both the laptop’s and camera’s operating lights flutter for a while, but there is no indication of what has happened and I can find no new photos anywhere on the PC. Anticipating it might need a new driver I have tried to locate a Windows 7 driver for the Olympus, but got nowhere. Aunty says: Hi Les. It is possible that your camera isn’t totally compatible with Windows7, but you may be able to view the contents of the camera’s memory card like you would a USB stick. Try going to ‘Start’ then ‘Computer’ and see if it appears as an extra drive that you can simply double click on and explore. If your new laptop has a digital card reader built in it maybe just as easy to pop the card out of the camera when you need to download your photos. If you email me the exact model of camera I can do some more research for you.

Life #GadgetInspector Xpat

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Gadget Inspector investigates the case of: Outside Essentials THIS WEEK the Inspector is taking a look at a bunch of gadgets for outdoor types. Many people, allegedly, actually like to go off into the wild blue yonder camping or attending picnic spots. The gaggle of gadge on offer this week should add some 21st Century tech to the proceedings. To take care of the sounds at the campsite mosh pit we have the Jawbone Jambox at €180. This compact wireless speaker packs a hefty 85db of sound from its ultra-small dome speaker and innovative moving-wall passive bass radiator - high quality audio that you can literally feel from a box that will sit in the palm of your hand. The Jambox will connect wirelessly with any Bluetooth enabled device and can be re-charged via a USB adapter. It also has a microphone and can be used to take calls using a linked mobile phone – great for ordering a take-away after the picnic food has wilted in the heat. Next up we have the Panasonic FT3 Lumix digital camera at €320. Ruggedly built, the Panasonic will take more knocks than David Haye. Shockproof to 2m and waterproof to 12m, it is more than capable of surviving the kids dropping it or an excursion into the portaloo. With 12.1 megapixels, 4.6 times zoom and image

stabilisation you will be guaranteed sharp snaps or HD video footage of little Johnny falling into the dry river bed. To add to the fun we have the Parrot AR Drone at €330. This iPhone controlled helicopter has a built in camera for checking out the queues for the campsite lavvy, or spying on your missus in another tent. You´ll need a WiFi signal and a steady hand to control it and watch the picture at the same time – but great fun as long as the wind doesn´t get too strong. But what are we to do to keep this little lot running, carry around a rucksack of batteries? Fear not, there is the Eton Raptor to come to the rescue at €120. This handy little gadget uses solar power to re-charge any device from its USB connection. Light, rugged and waterproof, this wonder also delivers weather reports and has a compass, altimeter and barometer. But that´s not all - it also has a radio, alarm clock and built-in LED torch! And in case you´re thirsty it even has a bottle opener – cheers! The Inspector´s Verdict: You´re going to need a good rest and probably another holiday after an excursion with this little lot, but this won´t bother the outdoor types amongst you. The Gadget household, on the other hand, is more likely to be found at a nice hotel or Indian restaurant – but each to their own.

#TVGuide Life Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Saturday 11

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7:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Heir Hunters 12:45 Dom on the Spot 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at One; Weather 14:30 BBC Regional News; Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six; Weather 19:30 BBC Regional News; Weather 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:25 National Lottery Update 23:25 BBC Regional News; Weather 23:35 Film Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

7:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7:30 Heir Hunters 8:15 Money for Nothing 9:00 Big Dreams Small Spaces 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Two Tribes 14:30 Beat the Brain 15:00 Building Dream Homes 15:30 Channel Patrol 16:15 Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones 17:15 The Hunt 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Gardeners’ World 21:30 Only Connect 22:00 The Secrets of Your Food 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 24:00 Weather 24:05 Robot Wars

7:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Mary Berry Everyday 13:00 Football Focus 14:00 BBC News; Weather 14:15 Bargain Hunt 15:15 Escape to the Country 15:45 Film Kung Fu Panda (2008) 17:10 Final Score 18:10 Celebrity Mastermind 18:40 BBC News 18:50 BBC Regional News; Weather 19:00 Pointless Celebrities 19:45 Let’s Sing and Dance for Comic Relief 21:00 Who Dares Wins 21:40 Casualty 22:30 Mrs Brown’s Boys 23:00 National Lottery Update 23:00 BBC News; Weather 23:20 Match of the Day 24:05 Match of the Day: The FA Cup 24:35 This Country

7:35 Film Yellow Canary (1943) 9:10 Film The Happiest Days of Your Life (1950) 10:30 Coast 11:00 Natural World 12:00 Homes Under the Hammer 13:00 Two Greedy Italians 14:00 The Little Paris Kitchen: Cooking with Rachel Khoo 14:30 Film The Red Shoes (1948) 16:40 Gardeners’ World 15:10 University Challenge 15:40 Only Connect 17:10 Flog It! 19:00 Natural World 19:00 Natural World 21:00 Grand Tours of the Scottish Islands 21:30 Dad’s Army 22:00 Geri’s 1990s: My Drive to Freedom 23:00 Live at the Apollo 23:45 Film LA Confidential

7:00 Good Morning Britain 9:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 Weather 14:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV Regional Weather 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 The Home Game 16:59 ITV Regional Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Regional Weather 19:30 Weather 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Schofield’s South African Adventure 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Lethal Weapon 23:00 The Nightly Show 23:30 Weather 23:30 ITV News 24:00 ITV Regional Weather 24:15 Play to the Whistle

7:00 Children’s TV 8:05 Thunderbirds Are Go 8:30 Scrambled! 8:35 Mr Bean: The Animated Series 8:50 Horrid Henry 9:10 Teen Titans Go! 9:30 Bear Grylls Survival School 10:05 Adventure Time 10:25 Alphabetical 11:20 All Star Family Fortunes 13:05 The Voice UK 13:25 ITV News and Weather 13:29 ITV London Weather 13:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 16:30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union 19:30 ITV London Weather 19:30 ITV News London 19:45 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 21:30 The Voice UK 22:45 ITV News and Weather 23:04 ITV London Weather 23:05 Lethal Weapon 24:00 Film Rambo: First Blood Part II

7:00 Countdown 7:45 The King of Queens 8:10 The King of Queens 8:35 The King of Queens 9:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 10:40 Frasier 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Crufts 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Crufts 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 The Last Leg 24:05 8 Out of 10 Cats 24:55 How’d You Get So Rich?

7:00 Children’s TV 8:50 Paw Patrol 9:05 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15 Digby Dragon 9:30 Peppa Pig 9:40 Peppa Pig 9:50 Wissper 10:00 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Winter Road Rescue 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Film 10.0 Earthquake (2014) 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 5 News Update 20:00 The Gadget Show 21:00 5 News Update 21:00 Make You Laugh Out Loud 22:00 The Graham Norton Story 23:30 When Celebs Sing Pop – Badly

7:00 You’ve Been Framed! 7:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 8:15 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 9:00 Emmerdale 9:30 Emmerdale 10:00 You’ve Been Framed! 10:35 Psych 11:25 Scorpion 12:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 Emmerdale 14:30 You’ve Been Framed! 15:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 Judge Rinder 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film American Pie 2 (2001) 24:00 Family Guy 24:30 Family Guy 24:55 American Dad!

7:15 Mobil 1 The Grid 7:45 The King of Queens 8:10 The King of Queens 8:40 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:30 Frasier 10:00 Frasier 10:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:00 The Big Bang Theory 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 11:55 The Simpsons 12:25 The Simpsons 13:00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night Feast 14:00 Come Dine with Me 14:30 Come Dine with Me 15:00 Come Dine with Me 15:30 Come Dine with Me 16:00 Come Dine with Me 16:35 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun 17:35 Location, Location, Location 18:35 Channel 4 News 19:05 Dogs Behaving Badly 20:00 Crufts 22:00 Film Room (2015) 24:20 Film The Adjustment Bureau

7:00 Children’s TV 10:00 Shimmer and Shine 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:35 Peppa Pig 10:45 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:30 Access 11:35 Benefits Britain: Life on the Dole 12:30 On Benefits 13:25 On Benefits 14:25 Dance Moms 15:20 Dance Moms 16:15 Dance Moms 17:10 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 18:05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 19:05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 20:05 NCIS: Los Angeles 21:00 NCIS 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Football on 5: The Championship 22:50 Football on 5: Goal Rush 23:20 Live Boxing

7:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 7:10 Emmerdale 9:40 Coronation Street 12:10 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 13:40 The Voice UK 15:00 You’ve Been Framed! 15:30 Film Paul Blart: Mall Cop 16:30 FYI Daily 16:35 Film Paul Blart: Mall Cop 17:25 Film King Kong 18:25 FYI Daily 18:30 Film King Kong 21:00 Scorpion 22:00 Film American Pie: The Wedding 23:00 FYI Daily 23:05 Film American Pie: The Wedding 23:55 Family Guy 24:25 Family Guy 24:55 Family Guy

Spotlight on... A New Life in the Sun

A New Life in the Sun Channel 4’s hit series ‘A New Life in the Sun’ is coming back with a third series and they are looking for more people who would like to appear on the show! The series, made by True North - a British Production Company, follows Brits in both Spain and France as they head to Europe to set up new lives and businesses. They would like to hear from Brits who are heading to France or Spain this summer to start up a new life, Brits entering their ﬁrst season in their new business, those searching for new businesses and those who have just set up enterprises and are about to enter a new challenge.

Applications are currently being accepted from all parts of France and Spain. If you would like to appear on ‘A New Life in the Sun’, all you need to do is e-mail the production team on anewlifeinthesun@truenorth.tv with your contact details and they will get in touch with you.

Please see their post below: Are you planning to move to France or Spain this summer or have you recently moved over there? Are you setting up a new business abroad? Do you think you are about to have a challenging and eventful summer? Would you like to share your story and inspire other people to move abroad?

PLEASE GET IN TOUCH NOW! E-mail: anewlifeinthesun@truenorth.tv or message us on Facebook.

Life #TVGuide Xpat

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3 FEB - 9 FEB 2017 Friday, March 10, 2017

Monday 13

Sunday 12

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Life Xpat

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7:00 Breakfast 8:40 Match of the Day 9:30 Match of the Day: The FA Cup 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics London 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:15 BBC News 14:25 Weather for the Week Ahead 14:30 Match of the Day Live: The FA Cup 17:00 Escape to the Country 18:00 Songs of Praise 18:35 BBC News 18:50 BBC Regional News 19:00 The Big Painting Challenge 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Call the Midwife 22:00 SS-GB 23:00 BBC News 23:20 BBC Regional News 23:30 Match of the Day 2 24:00 Would I Lie to You? 24:30 American High School

7:00 A to Z of TV Gardening 7:45 An Island Parish 8:15 Around the World in 80 Gardens 9:15 Coast 9:30 Gardeners’ World 10:00 Countryfile 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Nigel Slater’s Dish of the Day 13:00 Simply Nigella 13:30 MOTD2 Extra 14:15 Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones 15:20 Film Shall We Dance? 17:00 The House That £100K Built 18:00 Back to the Land with Kate Humble 19:00 Six Nations Rugby Union 20:00 Robot Wars 21:00 Top Gear 22:00 Down the Mighty River with Steve Backshall 23:00 Film The Face of an Angel 24:40 Six Nations Rugby Union

7:00 Children’s TV 10:05 Adventure Time 10:25 ITV News 10:30 Countrywise 11:00 Peston on Sunday 11:55 Wild Australia with Ray Mears 12:25 Chopping Block 13:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 14:25 ITV News and Weather 14:29 ITV Regional Weather 14:30 The Voice UK 15:45 Little Big Shots 16:45 The Chase 17:45 Tipping Point 18:45 ITV London Weather 18:45 ITV News 19:00 ITV News and Weather 19:15 Harry Hill’s Alien Fun Capsule 19:45 Five Gold Rings 20:45 The Voice UK 22:00 The Good Karma Hospital 23:00 ITV News and Weather 23:19 ITV Regional Weather 23:20 The Nightly Show 23:50 Peston on Sunday 24:50 Anglo-Welsh Cup Highlights

7:15 The King of Queens 7:40 The King of Queens 8:05 The King of Queens 8:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:25 Frasier 9:55 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 The Simpsons 14:00 The Simpsons 14:30 Film Cheaper By the Dozen 16:20 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces 17:25 Location, Location, Location 18:30 Channel 4 News 19:00 Crufts 21:30 The Jump 22:30 Homeland 23:30 War Child 24:40 Gogglebox

7:00 Children’s TV 8:30 Little Princess 8:40 Paw Patrol 9:00 Blaze and the Monster Machines 9:25 Noddy: Toyland Detective 9:40 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:55 Shimmer and Shine 10:25 Peppa Pig 10:35 Peppa Pig 10:45 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:55 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 11:30 Football on 5: The Championship 12:20 Football on 5: Goal Rush 12:50 The Gadget Show 13:50 Film Gorillas in the Mist 16:20 Celebrity Carry on Barging 17:15 Celebrity Carry on Barging 18:15 Cruising with Jane McDonald 19:10 Inside Windsor Castle 20:00 Inside Windsor Castle 21:00 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 21:55 5 News Weekend 22:00 Film The Equalizer 24:35 Film Harry Brown

7:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 7:10 You’ve Been Framed! 7:30 Emmerdale 10:10 Coronation Street 12:40 The Voice UK 14:00 2Awesome 14:05 Guidance 14:40 Fame High 15:00 Third Wheel 15:15 Third Wheel 15:30 LA Story 15:50 You’ve Been Framed! 16:15 You’ve Been Framed! 16:45 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 18:20 Film Nanny McPhee 19:20 FYI Daily 19:25 Film Nanny McPhee 20:15 Film Mr Bean’s Holiday 21:15 FYI Daily 21:20 Film Mr Bean’s Holiday 22:00 Ibiza Weekender 23:00 Family Guy 23:30 Family Guy 24:00 Family Guy 24:30 American Dad! 24:55 American Dad!

7:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fugitives 12:45 Dom on the Spot 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at Two 14:30 BBC Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 15:45 A Service of Celebration for Commonwealth Day 17:15 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Seven 19:30 BBC Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Match of the Day Live: The FA Cup 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:30 BBC Regional News; Weather 23:45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 24:30 Live at the Apollo

7:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7:30 Heir Hunters 8:15 Money for Nothing 9:00 The Great Interior Design Challenge 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Six Nations Rugby Union 14:30 Beat the Brain 15:00 Building Dream Homes 15:30 Channel Patrol 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 The Hunt 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Top Gear 20:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Mary Berry Everyday 22:00 Meet the Lords 23:00 Cradle to Grave 23:30 Newsnight 24:10 Weather

7:00 Good Morning Britain 9:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 Weather 14:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV Regional Weather 15:00 Judge Rinder 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Regional Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Regional Weather 19:30 Weather 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Kyle Files 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Broadchurch 23:00 The Nightly Show 23:30 Weather 23:30 ITV News 24:00 ITV Regional Weather 24:00 ITV Regional News 24:15 The Chase

7:00 Countdown 7:45 The King of Queens 9:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 10:35 Frasier 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:05 Posh Pawn 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Food Unwrapped 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 How’d You Get So Rich? 23:50 Tattoo Fixers 24:50 Gap Year

7:00 Children’s TV 9:30 Peppa Pig 9:40 Peppa Pig 9:50 Wissper 10:00a Toot the Tiny Tugboat 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Film Driven Underground 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 5 News Update 20:00 FIA World Rally Championship Highlights 21:00 5 News Update 21:00 Make You Laugh Out Loud 22:00 Inside King’s Cross: The Railway 23:00 Rich and Acquitted 24:05 Film Sabotage

7:00 You’ve Been Framed! 7:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 8:15 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 9:00 Emmerdale 9:30 Coronation Street 10:00 Coronation Street 10:35 Psych 11:25 Scorpion 12:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 Coronation Street 14:30 Coronation Street 15:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 Judge Rinder 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Family Guy 22:30 The Great Indoors 23:00 American Dad! 23:30 American Dad! 24:00 Family Guy 24:30 Family Guy

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Wednesday 15

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7:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fugitives 12:45 Dom on the Spot 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at Two 14:30 BBC Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00BBC News at Seven 19:30 BBC Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 BBC News 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Replacement 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:30 National Lottery Update 23:30 BBC Regional News 23:45 Imagine

7:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7:30 Fugitives 8:15 Money for Nothing 9:00 The Big Painting Challenge 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Coast 15:00 Building Dream Homes 15:30 Channel Patrol 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 The Hunt 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food 20:00 The Best of British Takeaways 21:00 Back to the Land with Kate Humble 22:00 1066: A Year to Conquer England 23:00 Inside No 9 23:30 Newsnight 24:10 Weather 24:15 The Secrets of Your Food

7:00 Good Morning Britain 9:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Weather 13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 13:55 ITV Regional Weather 13:55 ITV Regional News 14:00 ITV Racing Live 17:30 Celebrity Home Secrets 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Regional Weather 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:30 Weather 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Britain’s Busiest Motorway 21:00 The Secret Chef 22:00 Play to the Whistle 23:00 The Nightly Show 23:30 Weather 23:30 ITV News 24:00 ITV Regional Weather 24:00 ITV Regional News

7:00 Countdown 7:45 The King of Queens 9:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 10:35 Frasier 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:05 Posh Pawn 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 The Secret Life of the Zoo 22:00 Mutiny 23:00 Catastrophe 23:35 This Is Us 24:35 Gogglebox

7:00 Children’s TV 9:05 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15 Digby Dragon 9:30 Peppa Pig 9:40 Peppa Pig 9:50 Wissper 10:00 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Great British Benefits Handout 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS: Los Angeles 16:20 Film Stranger in the House 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 5 News Update 20:00 Inside King’s Cross: The Railway 21:00 5 News Update 21:00 Inside Buckingham Palace 22:00 Secrets of the National Trust with Alan Titchmarsh 23:00 Cleopatra’s Dangerous Liaisons

7:00 You’ve Been Framed! 7:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 8:15 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 9:00 Emmerdale 9:30 Coronation Street 10:00 Coronation Street 10:35 Psych 11:25 Scorpion 12:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 Coronation Street 14:30 Coronation Street 15:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 Judge Rinder 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 23:00 Plebs 23:30 Family Guy 24:00 Family Guy 24:30 American Dad! 24:55 The Vampire Diaries

7:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fugitives 12:45 Dom on the Spot 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at Two 14:30 BBC Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money for Nothing 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Seven 19:30 BBC Regional News 19:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 BBC News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 The Sheriffs Are Coming 22:00 The Real Marigold Hotel 23:00 BBC News at Ten a23:30 BBC Regional News 23:45 Peter Kay’s Car Share 24:15 A Question of Sport 24:45 Who Do You Think You Are?

7:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7:30 Fugitives 8:15 Money for Nothing 9:00 Sicily: Wonder of the Mediterranean 11:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Two Tribes 14:30 Beat the Brain 15:00 Building Dream Homes 15:30 Channel Patrol 16:15 Australia with Simon Reeve 17:15 The Hunt 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Comfort Food 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The House That £100K Built 22:00 Incredible Medicine: Dr Weston’s Casebook 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 Newsnight 24:10 Weather 24:15 Brexit: Britain’s Biggest Deal

7:00 Good Morning Britain 9:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Weather 13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 13:55 ITV Regional Weather 13:55 ITV Regional News 14:00 ITV Racing Live 17:30 Celebrity Home Secrets 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Regional Weather 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 Weather 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little Big Shots 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 The Nightly Show 23:30 Weather 23:30 ITV News 24:00 ITV Regional Weather 24:00 ITV Regional News 24:15 UEFA Champions League Highlights

7:00 Countdown 7:45 The King of Queens 8:10 The King of Queens 8:35 The King of Queens 9:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 10:35 Frasier 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:05 Posh Pawn 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 Hidden Restaurants with Michel Roux Jr 22:00 The Royal House of Windsor 23:00 Mystery of the Man on the Moor 24:00 24 Hours in A&E

7:00 Children’s TV 9:05 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 9:15 Digby Dragon 9:30 Peppa Pig 9:40 Peppa Pig 9:50 Wissper 10:00 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 The Gadget Show 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Film Deadly Suspicion 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 5 News Update 20:00 Ancient Mysteries 21:00 5 News Update 21:00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 22:00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 23:00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away 24:05 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door

7:00 You’ve Been Framed! 7:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 8:15 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 9:00 Emmerdale 9:30 You’ve Been Framed! 10:00 You’ve Been Framed! 10:35 Psych 11:25 Scorpion 12:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 You’ve Been Framed! 15:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 Judge Rinder 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 Two and a Half Men 22:00 Film The 40 Year-Old Virgin 23:00 FYI Daily 23:05 Film The 40 Year-Old Virgin 24:25 Family Guy 24:55 Family Guy

7:00 Breakfast 10:15 The Housing Enforcers 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Fugitives 12:45 Dom on the Spot 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at Two 14:30 BBC Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Doctor Blake Mysteries 16:15 Escape to the Country 16:45 Money For Nothing 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Seven 19:30 BBC Regiona News 7:55 Party Political Broadcast 20:00 Thw One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Shop Well for less? 22:00 Britain on the Fiddle 23:00 BBC News at Eleven 23:30 BBC Regional 23:45 Question Time 24:45 This Week

7:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets 7:30 Fugitives 8:15 Money for Nothing 9:00 Welcome to Hull: City of Culture 2017 9:30 Great British Railway 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Two Tribes 14:30 Beat the Brain 15:00 Building Dream Homes 15:30 Channel Patrol 16:15 Ireland with Simon Reeve 17:15 The Hunt 18:15 Bargain Hunt 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 The Hairy Bikers’ 20:00 Antiques Road Trip 21:00 The Great Pottery Throw Down 22:00 The Last Kingdom 23:00 MOTD: The Premier League Show 23:30 Newsnight

7:00 Good morning Britain 9:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 ITV Lunchtime News 13:55 ITV News 14:00 ITV Racing Live 17:30 Celebrity Home Secrets 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Regional News 19:25 Party Political Broadcast 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Harry Hill’s Alien Fun Capsule 22:00 Prime Suspect 1973 23:00 The Nightly Show 23:30 ITV News 24:00 ITV Regional News

7:00 Countdown 7:45 The King of Queens 8:10 The King of Queens 8:35 The King of Queens 9:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 9:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:05 Frasier 10:35 Frasier 11:05 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 13:05 A New Life in the Sun 14:05 Posh Pawn 15:10 Countdown 16:00 Fifteen to One 17:00 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses 18:00 Couples Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 The Political Slot 21:00 The Supervet 22:00 A Very British Hotel 23:00 Extremely British Muslims 24:05 Mystery of the Man on the Moor

7:00 Children’s TV 9:15 Digby Dragon 9:30 Peppa Pig 9:40 Peppa Pig 9:50 Wissper 10:00 Toot the Tiny Tugboat 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take it Away 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS 16:20 Left for Dead 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 The Simpsons 20:00 The Simpsons 20:30 The Simpsons 21:00 DC’s Legends of Tomrrow 22:00 The Great British Benefits Handout 23:00 Celebrity Sex Pod 24:05 100 Per Cent Hotter

7:00 You’ve Been Framed 7:25 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 8:15 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 21:00 Emmerdale 9:30 Coronation Street 10:00 Psych 10:55 Below Deck 11:25 Below Deck 12:20 Who’s Doing the Dishes? 13:25 Emmerdale 13:55 Coronation Street 14:30 You’ve Been Framed! 15:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 15:50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 18:00 Judge Rinder 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Two and a Half Men 21:30 You’ve Been Framed! 22:00 Release the Hounds 23:00 Family Guy 23:30 Family Guy

CROSSWORD SOLUTIONS CRYPTIC SOLUTIONS Across: 1 Relish; 4 Swamps; 9 Readyreckoner; 10 Tablets; 11 Fifty; 12 Steal; 14 Close; 18 Ahead; 19 Upstart; 21 Provincialism; 22 Emerge; 23 Beings. Down: 1 Rarity; 2 Lead by the nose; 3 Style; 5 Wakeful; 6 Manifestation; 7 Strays; 8 Least; 13 Addling; 15 Sample; 16 Punch; 17 Stamps; 20 Stale. QUICK SOLUTIONS Across: 1 Battle; 4 Secret; 9 Ask for trouble; 10 Content; 11 Inlet;

12 Scamp; 14 Inure; 18 Amass; 19 Unequal; 21 Recrimination; 22 Dispel; 23 Beagle. Down: 1 Branch; 2 Take no chances; 3 Loose; 5 Emotion; 6 Rabble-rousing; 7 Treaty; 8 State; 13 Massive; 15 Hatred; 16 Quail; 17 Glance; 20 Elate. Wordwheel: SCULPTURE

Life #ChrisAshley Xpat

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3 feb - 9 feb 2017 Friday, March 10, 2017

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Xpat

Not So Sweet Gene Vincent (Despite What Ian Dury Thought)

POP QUIZ HOTSHOT. What connects the boxing commentator Reg Gutteridge & rock ‘n’ roll rebel Gene Vincent? They were both able to stab themselves in the leg & feel no pain. Faithful reader stay with me – it will be worth it. Reg lost his limb during the D-Day landings and Gene in a motor cycle accident. Reg had a prosthetic leg, Gene had a metal leg brace- thus they were both able to enjoy endless hours entertaining unsuspecting guests at social soirées by taking a fork and skewering their limp limb with no outward signs of stress. Another of Mr. Gutteridge’s jolly japes was to hide his false leg under a beach towel, go in for a dip & come out of the briny screaming, Shark! Shark! Mr. Vincent, however

was a completely different case of Be-Bop-A-Loony. He arrived in the UK with more baggage than Louis Vuitton as I found out when, as a cub reporter, I interviewed him. He was appearing in Woebegone Worthing West Sussex, this is Rock ‘n’ Roll Royalty with The Beatles as fans, but he’s scuffing around in my dull home town just before the 1960 tour with Eddie Cochran – and we know that didn’t end well. So there I am awestruck- when Darlene, 2nd of Gene’s 4 wives, caught this 16 year old virgin’s eye & captured his beating heart. We chatted and being a Southern Belle she just loved my English accent (not sure about my wonky teeth, national health specs & zits). She explained why racial segregation was necessary in the Deep South &

that JFK had better watch his back, y’all. In return, endeavouring to bridge the cultural canyon, I tried to explain why Mike & Bernie Winters were considered funny or how a cricket match can last 5 days & still finish in a draw. It was all very cosy, but I did notice her husband giving me an evil swivel eyed look. Bearing in mind Eric Burdon described Gene, after touring with him, as a pistol packing pill popping paranoid prat (spit it out man - stop shillyshallying) this besotted wimp made his excuses & put a whole lot of gone between Mean Gene’s Missus & Me. A prescient move as some years later Gene pulled a gun on a Glam Rock star for no apparent reason – some would say no reason was needed – it was Gary Glitter.

NEED A WHIZZ QUIZ COMPERE FOR YOUR VENUE? CONTACT ME, CHRIS ASHLEY; ashleybobble@hotmail.com

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Footlights stages Spring Fair by JACK TROUGHTON

FOOTLIGHTS IS staging its second annual Spring Fair in Calpe on Saturday 25th March, raising funds for future productions. Following the success of last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s event, the musical theatre group is staying with the same format; offering hot and cold drinks, homemade cake, tombola and plenty of stalls. The group hopes that from noon to 5pm, there will be something for everyone and an afternoon packed with fun at the Footlights Centre in Calle Hidalgo, Calpe. And after a year of major change within the group, Footlights is also looking for new members for both on and off the stage roles. The fair is a perfect opportunity for interested parties to come and meet the members and committee and find out about the exciting programme that Footlights have planned for 2017. If anyone would like to donate a tombola item, bake a cake or needs any further information, please contact the Chairman Giovanna Wallis on 634 347 937 or send an email to footlights.secretary@gmail.com.

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Life #Recipes Xpat

3 feb - 9 feb 2017 Friday, March 10, 2017Xpat 33

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Lean turkey burger with sweet potato wedges An extra-lean, fat-fighting turkey burger, spiced with a sprinkling of paprika and served with vibrant greens and sweet potato wedges Ingredients 1 large sweet potato (about 190g), cut into wedges 260g turkey breast mince (under 5% fat) 1 small red onion, diced 1 garlic clove, grated 1 large egg, beaten 1 apple (about 70g), peeled and grated 2 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp paprika 15g coconut oil 135g green vegetables (spinach, kale, broccoli, mangetout or green beans) Method Heat oven to 180C/160C

fan/gas 4. Zap the sweet potato wedges in the microwave for about 6 mins on full power until just turning soft. Leave to rest for 30 secs. While the sweet potato is spinning in the microwave, mix the mince in a bowl with the onion, garlic, egg and apple. Get your hands stuck in and work the ingredients together with a good pinch of salt and pepper, the oregano and paprika. Shape the mixture into two burgers about 3cm thick. Place on a baking tray in the oven for 15-20 mins until cooked

through. Heat the coconut oil in a large frying pan over a high heat. Add the sweet potato wedges and shallow-fry for about 3 mins each side until they are nicely browned all over and cooked through to the centre. (Alternatively, toss in the oil and roast in the oven for 15-20 mins.) Drain on kitchen paper, then season with a good pinch of salt. Serve the burgers with the sweet potato wedges and a portion of green veg either steamed, blanched or boiled.

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

#Health&Beauty

I have cancer....and now what? IN ASSOCIATION with the respected Spanish newspaper ‘Información’ and the Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja, people are invited to attend a conference at the Club Información in Alicante in Avenida Doctor Rico, 17, next Thursday, 16th March 2017 beginning at 7pm. by DARREN JAMES Called ‘I have cancer…and now what?’, it will be chaired by the journalist Olaya Casado - author of the blog “Cancer at 30” - and feature expert contributions from the Quirón Oncology Department. The conference will cover a wide range of different topics on how to help confront the disease, aimed at patients as well as their relatives and friends. And those not ﬂuent in Spanish are asked not to worry; as the conference will be simultaneously translated into English via headphones. For those wishing to attend and requiring them, two special buses are being laid on and picking up along the Southern Costa Blanca. Bus 1: Leaves at 6pm from the roundabout at Mercadona Playa Flamenca going direct to Alicante. Bus 2: Leaves at 6pm from Calle Los Molinos, 9, in Torrevieja, stopping at the Hospital Quirónsalud Torrevieja, then at the Ciudad Quesada arches before the journey to Alicante. All those attending will receive a complimentary cocktail at the end of the conference before returning by bus. To book your place on the available transport, please contact Samantha Biddles by phone: 606 679 982 or Email: samantha.biddles@quironsalud.es as soon as possible.

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Life #Whats on Xpat

- 9 FEB 2017 Friday,3 FEB March 10, 2017 Xpat 35

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Sponsors in tune CELEBRATING A decade of singing together, the Costa Blanca Male Voice Choir is delighted to welcome Blacktower Financial Management as a new sponsor. by JACK TROUGHTON THE DEAL was struck shortly after Blacktower opened its new office on the Costa Calida – the independent financial advisor company agreeing to kit out the choir for a busy new season. And the manager of the new Costa Calida branch, Keith Littlewood - who also sings with the choir – said: ““The 50-member choir has come from very small beginnings in 2007 to be a well-respected and constantly improving choir, which has earned its growing reputation and popularity. “We, as a company, are therefore very pleased to be able to offer them sponsorship to enable them to buy new polo shirts for this special anniversary year.” The choir’s celebrations includes a special concert at the Santa Maria Magdalena Church in Benitachell on 7th April at 7:30pm. The programme will include many of the songs already popular with the growing number of followers, such as American Trilogy, Softly, and the Hallelujah Chorus, together with some new songs for this special year. Entry is free and no booking is required but there will be a collection on exit. Later in the year, the choir will be welcoming the internationally-renowned Pontarddulais Male Choir from Wales and will share the stage with the group and Dolce Divas at the Teulada-Moraira Auditori on the 6th May at 9pm. The Welsh choir will be 80-strong, while the Costa Blanca Male Voice Choir should provide another 40 voices, providing a rousing finale when they sing together. Tickets for this prestigious concert, priced at 12 Euros, are already selling fast and are available online at instanticket.es, from Teulada Ayuntamiento front desks, the Ayuntamiento Office at Espai La Senieta Theatre in Moraira and the Teulada Auditorio Box Office. Pictured is Keith Littlewood of Blacktower (left) with the choir’s Marketing and Publicity Officer Vernon Pearce.

Price List Channels Suitability

1 Star Aids *

2 Star Aids *

3 Star Aids *

4 Star Aids *

5 Star Aids *

16+

Domestic Groups Social Active Social Situations 1-1 Conversation Family Gatherings Restaurants Large Groups TV Cafés Parties Business Meetings Shopping Small Groups Social Gatherings Outdoor Sports Public Places Noisy Places Music

Price Euros €595 Single Aid €695 Single Aid

€1,090 Pair

€1,290 Pair

€845 Single Aid €1,590 Pair

€995 Single Aid €1,890 Pair

Demanding Situations Public Meetings Concerts Theatre Orchestra €1,150 Single Aid €2,200 Pair

. . . t i f o t r a Be p

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

Friday, March 10, 2017

Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

#LearnSpanish

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Present Subjunctive (5)

Having summarized the way we form the present subjunctive, it’s now time to make a brief foray into how it is used. Although this is by no means a simple subject, or one that can be explained quickly, I will try to give you some basic pointers. There are certain rules which dictate when the present subjunctive should be used, but there also occasions when its use depends on the exact meaning you wish to convey. As well as learning the rules, a “good user” of the present subjunctive (I’ve just invented this individual) gets a feel for when it should be used. A good starting point is to look at its use in what we call a subordinate clause. Let’s explain that first. A subordinate clause is the second or subsidiary section of a sentence that can be split into two – the connection very often being made with word “que” (that or which). Here is a sentence we have already seen to explain exactly what I mean. “Espero que estés bien” (I hope that you are well). This sentence, as short as it is, can be split into two parts. These two parts are called “clauses”. The first clause is “Espero que” (I hope that). This is obviously an incomplete idea and needs the second clause to make full sense. However, it does express a single idea – that I hope something. The second clause “estés bien” (you are well) completes the idea of the sentence, but it also expresses a separate idea from “I hope”. You can also see that in this case there are two subjects involved (“I” and “you”) controlling two different verbs (“hope” and “are”). The second clause is called a “subordinate clause”, that is, it is dependent on “main clause” and is linked to it by “that”. Notice also that the word “that” can disappear in English (I hope you’re well), whereas “que” cannot disappear in Spanish. Now then, in Spanish it is quite common for subordinate clauses to appear in the subjunctive (as is the case of “estés”). This is because the main clause often expresses a hope, desire, preference, regret, fear request or similar concept which makes the contents of the second clause hypothetical. In other words, when I say “I hope you are well” I am implying that I don’t know whether you are well or not: your “wellness” hypothetical. Therefore the usual indicative form “estás bien” (you are well) changes to the subjunctive form “estés bien”. We can’t translate this difference in English. We just have to accept that the subjunctive exists in Spanish and has practically no equivalent in modern English. Here are some more examples that follow this pattern. Remember that not all subordinate clauses have to be in the subjunctive, only those that express a hypothetical concept which has been set up by ideas of hope, regret and so on in the main clause. Prefiero que vengas mañana. I prefer you to come tomorrow (I prefer that you come tomorrow) Quiero que escuches muy bien. I want you to listen very well (I want that you listen very well). Dudo que sepas más que yo. I doubt that you know more than me. No creo que haya mucha gente I don’t think there are many people. No creo que sea verdad. I don’t think that it’s true. There’s more, but I think you have enough to chew over for a while. A good starting point is to look at its use in what we call a subordinate clause. Let’s explain that first. A subordinate clause is the second or subsidiary section of a sentence that can be split into two – the connection very often being made with word “que” (that or which). Here is a sentence we have already seen to explain exactly what I mean. “Espero que estés bien” (I hope that you are well). This sentence, as short as it is, can be split into two parts. These two parts are called “clauses”. The first clause is “Espero que” (I hope that). This is obviously an incomplete idea and needs the second clause to make full sense. However, it does express a single idea – that I hope something. The second clause “estés bien” (you are well) completes the idea of the sentence, but it also expresses a separate idea from “I hope”. You can also see that in this case there are two subjects involved (“I” and “you”) controlling two different verbs (“hope” and “are”). The second clause is called a “subordinate clause”, that is, it is dependent on “main clause” and is linked to it by “that”. Notice also that the word “that” can disappear in English (I hope you’re well), whereas “que” cannot disappear in Spanish. Now then, in Spanish it is quite common for subordinate clauses to appear in the subjunctive (as is the case of “estés”). This is because the main clause often expresses a hope, desire, preference, regret, fear request or similar concept which makes the contents of the second clause hypothetical. In other words, when I say “I hope you are well” I am implying that I don’t know whether you are well or not: your “wellness” hypothetical. Therefore the usual indicative form “estás bien” (you are well) changes to the subjunctive form “estés bien”. We can’t translate this difference in English. We just have to accept that the subjunctive exists in Spanish and has practically no equivalent in modern English. Here are some more examples that follow this pattern. Remember that not all subordinate clauses have to be in the subjunctive, only those that express a hypothetical concept which has been set up by ideas of hope, regret and so on in the main clause. Prefiero que vengas mañana. I prefer you to come tomorrow (I prefer that you come tomorrow) Quiero que escuches muy bien. I want you to listen very well (I want that you listen very well). Dudo que sepas más que yo. I doubt that you know more than me. No creo que haya mucha gente I don’t think there are many people. No creo que sea verdad. I don’t think that it’s true.

There’s more, but I think you have enough to chew over for a while.

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Increased Risk of Forest Fires

This week, we have seen forest fires locally at La Mata at the weekend, then at Santa Pola. The area is now on high alert for the risk of forest fires, even though it´s only March. In fact, collected data February has already revealed that, despite some downpours, the month was one degree warmer than normal, with very dry and dusty air. It is believed that the majority of these fires are caused by human interaction, although seldom intentional, irresponsibility can lead to devastation. In Spain, it is estimated that more than 80% of all forest fires are caused by humans. In America incidentally the figure is as many as 90%. Through simple awareness and action we can all do something to reduce the risks of forest fires. Taking all your rubbish home and depositing it in a safe place is one easy task. You probably remember old TV public service announcements about how glass can start a fire, but any litter can be a contributing factor to fire.

Smoking paraphernalia is perhaps the worst contributor however. Throwing a smouldering match or an almost extinguished cigarette butt is a recipe for disaster. If you do smoke, make sure that you dispose of all of your smoking materials safely and correctly, not just on the ground. There are a variety of processes implemented to try to reduce the risk of fire, including a ban during the hottest months on farmers and industrial locations starting controlled fires, and there are also fines for individuals caught risking the threat of fire, such as throwing a cigarette out the car window? If you do throw a cigarette out of a car window, lit or otherwise, you could be risking the lives of many people as forest fires are relentless and run so easily out of control, therefore you will be fined on the spot if you are seen. The law is quite clear, “No person in any vehicle shall throw or discharge from or upon any road or motorway or adjoining area, public or private, any lit

or non lit cigarette”. If you do get caught you face a fine of 200 euro and 4 points deducted from your license. Do it more than once and you are

getting closer to a ban. It might seem harsh and expensive, but when you consider the damage that can be caused by laziness or some-

times simple stupidity, you might soon realise that it is not expensive at all, so please don´t do it for everybody´s sake.

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

#BusRoute Life Xpat

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Bus timetable changes Friday 2nd March saw the introduction of new timetables for the Costa Azul bus route between ALICANTE and PILAR DE LA HORADADA. Please note that this service no longer goes to CARTAGENA.

www.autocarescostaazul.com

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#Sport Life Xpat

Xpat Friday, March 10, 2017

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Alfaz fantasy football league Last week was amazing for the Alfaz Fantasy Football League as the 1 Monday Night,1F.A.Cup Replay and 9 Premier League Games produced a shed load of goals which gave the Fantasy League an high average score of 32 points. Overall there was 43 goals,only 3 clean sheets,28 yellow cards and 1 red one which was Bournemouth’s skipper Surman who became the get out clause for Referee Kevin Friend in that feisty game between Manchester United & The Cherries. In a fast & furies weekend Keith’s team Max & Paddy took the opportunity to become the 8th team this Season to reach the Summit of the A.F.F.L.when his 2 top strikers Harry Kane & Sergio Aguero rattled in 5 goals between them.They have a 5 point advantage over 2 teams in 2nd place Andrew’s Big Tymers and Lee’s Walkden Town.Last weeks Leaders Chris’s Always Hoping dropped down to 6th place after having only scored 14 points. Down at the other end of the table Kevin’s El.Portet Elite are rooted at the bottom over 150 points behind Angie’s Blues.

Well it as finally happened Ant & Brad’s team after being top of our U.K.T.V.SPAIN Junior League for 19 weeks have been knocked of the top spot by Leo’s team 6 in a Row who have taken a 29 point lead. Callum’s F.C.Barcalona remain in 3rd place still in with a shout for the top spot.Anna’s Radji United are in deep trouble at the bottom as they are now 55 points adrift of Charlotte’s Arm Wavers United Julie’s team The Gers & Joanna’s Hup Hannah City are making our Mark Carter Ladies Section into a 2 horse race by opening up a 71 point gap between 2nd & 3rd placed Mackemville.At the moment The Gers are in the driving seat with a narrow 11 point lead over Hup Hannah City.Down at the foot of the table Angie’s Blues are improving each week has her favourite team Manchester City are finding a rich vein of form and they are now only 26 points behind Jo Jo Wants a Dog. With only 1 week gone 3 teams are only separated by 3 points in the chase for our 20 euro voucher which is sponsored

by Quick Save, the only British Supermarket in Albir.Debbie’s Foxy Filberts have a 1 point advantage over Kath’s Army then comes Anne’s team Bolton Wanderers. With so many goals being scored last week meant that the average score in our Leonard Knowles Construction Golden Boot League was at an high of over 19 points.Lee’s team Walkden Town managed to close the gap on the leaders Juke Box Mackems to 58 points which could be a bridge to far but if Aguero,Kane and Burnley’s Gray keep scoring you never know. We certainly know who is going to finish bottom of this League as Kevin’s El.Portet Elite won’t budge as they are now 56 points behind Radji United. We have 3 teams going into our Wyndham’s Monthly Wine Draw and they are John’s Tower F.C. & Simon’s Si is Norfolk and Good who both top scored with 77 points each.The other team to join them is Paul’s Foley’s Bantams who finished up with the lowest score of minus 3 courtesy of Manchester United’s Ibrahimovic’s missed penalty. Manager of the Month for

March is being kindly sponsored by Danny who manages one of our top class Restaurants in Albir The Vintage.With only one week gone Tower F.C.& Si is Norfolk and Good have 3 point lead over Dean’s North Island Athletic.6 in a Row and Shrek is Life are also in contention for this super meal for 2 at the Vintage. Simon’s team Si is Norfolk and Good have had a great week as they have also won our Breakfast for 2 sponsored by Jo & Peter at the Two C’s in Alfaz after leaping up 43 places to Number 64th in the main League.

Eric’s City Slickers have taken over the top spot of our X-Pat’s F.A.Cup League thanks mainly to Manchester City’s 5-1 win against Huddersfield in the F.A.Cup Replay.They have 13 point advantage over Burnley Dave’s Up the Clarets.Top Ladies team Danielle’s Charlie’s Chico’s are in 3rd place. There is a big week ahead for this weeks Fantasy League with the F.A.Cup Quarter Final taking place as well as our own X-Pats 6th Round K.O.Cup.Good Luck to all the Managers who are still the K.O.Cup Competition.

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Monte win…just

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It has to be said that CD Montesinos are coming into the final part of the season on patchy form and were lucky to take the spoils with a 3-2 win over Sporting Orihuela CF. Orihuela were hammered last week against one of the top sides, Benijofar; but who this week were unfortunate to leave “The Cauldron” at Montesinos with a defeat. However, it is always said that a side that does not play well but still wins is a good side, so with that logic in place, CD Montesinos took all three points from a scrappy game in front of just over 200 loyal supporters. Vazquinho opened the scoring after 18 minutes when he latched onto a through ball and his low shot comfortably beat the visiting keeper. However, the lead lasted just two minutes as Montesinos failed to clear the ball inside their own area allowing Sporting to equalise on 20 minutes. Just before half time, centre half Joao headed home from a corner to send Montesinos into the break with a 2-1 lead and the home fans expected the flood gates to open, which was not the case. The second half was more one sided as Montesinos tried but failed to increase their lead and even with a

series of substitutions, the score line stayed the same until the closing minutes when on 40 minutes the unthinkable happened and the visitors equalised, this time with an own goal from Bashir who tried to head clear but the ball found its way into the net. With time running out, CD Montesinos pushed forward looking for a winning goal and, on this occasion, fortune looked favourably on their efforts with a cracking goal after good play from Aure and Vaz who played in Alfredo to slot home the winner and keep his side in with a real shout of a top two finish. Man of the match Vazquinho. With results elsewhere favourable to CD Montesinos, this latest win moves the club up into joint top position on the same points as Benijofar (35 points) but with a game less.

Another first for La Vila By the time that this goes to press the England, Ireland and Spanish international 7’s teams will have completed a three day winter training and triangular practice tournament at their Vila Joyosa stadium. This part of their training programme is behind closed doors so unfortunately

local rugby aficionados will not benefit. The club ground and facilities are fast becoming a popular venue for International squads. To date La Vila has played hosts to the Russian XV, The British Army XV and both the Welsh and Spanish International women’s XV’ this season. La Vila had a rest weekend before their

CD Montesinos team:- Dani, Fernando, Manu, Bashir, Carlos Lorente, Coko, Vaz, Fran, Alfredo, Carlos Ventura, Joao. Sub’s:- Rodrigo, German, Auren, Dimitri, Dario. Goals for CD Montesinos: Vaz, Joao and Alfredo Next week-end will go a long way to deciding their season as they are away at Callosa, who are two points behind them but with a game in hand. A win at Callosa will go a long way to finishing in a top two position. The game is almost certainly going to be played on Saturday, 11th of March in Callosa and the club have asked as many supporters as possible to turn up for the boys. Time and date have yet to be announced so keep an eye on our website (www.cdmontesinos. com) or our facebook page (cdmontesinos) for further information.

last three matches prior to the playoffs. Their next home game is against Barcelona University on Sunday the 12th. March kick off 12.30. What do the England, Georgian and La Vila XV have in common ? They all can play at full steam for the full 80 minutes, and even if they are behind they have the confidence of their past performances to snatch a victory. This was plain to see when Spain played

Georgia in Madrid last Saturday being beaten 10-20. Spain took an early lead but the Georgian team pulled this back and they were level 10-10 at half time. In the second half Georgia scored with a converted try and penalty to run out worthy winners. Spain can take comfort that they held their own for most of the match against a side who are being talked of as an addition to the Six Nations proper.

Superstar golfer on the green

Spain’s most famous living golfer, Miguel Ángel Jiménez is returning to Rojales this weekend for two exciting events at La Marquesa Golf Club.

First up on Saturday (March 11) is the Miguel Ángel Jiménez National Junior Challenge, followed on Sunday by what will be the 25th annual Justo Quesada y Josefina Memorial Charity Pro-Am. The Junior Challenge is a league he has organised since 2012 for the best young players aged from seven to 18 years old, about 100 of whom will be competing at La Marquesa. Three of them will be teeing off every eight minutes between 08.00 and 13.00 and the prize giving will take place at about 17.00. There will also be a show afterwards to entertain the participants, featuring the

dazzling skills of Sr Jiménez himself. The superstar has made Sunday’s memorial tournament a regular fixture on his calendar for more years than he can remember, an honour that club president Jose Ángel Quesada still finds it hard to believe. A total of 28 teams consisting of one professional and three amateurs each will be competing in a shotgun start from 09.00 on Sunday, including a number of other Spanish celebrities. The tournament is named in memory of the promoter who built the course and the surrounding urbanisation that also bears his name, and his wife. Last year it raised over €8,000 for local

good causes and this year the beneficiaries will be the DEBRA (Butterfly Children) foundation, Cáritas Rojales, and Rojales town hall’s social concerns department. They are hoping to beat last year’s total with the proceeds from a €1,500 donation from each player playing on Sr Jiménez’s team, a €20 donation club for each birdie scored, and an auction of Sr Jiménez’s equipment that will take place afterwards. The tournament is expected to finish at about 13.30 and will be followed by the prize giving, the charity auction and a celebratory lunch on the clubhouse terrace.

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