Thoughts autumn 2015

There is no God. All of the wonders around us are accidental.

No almighty hand made a thousand stars. They made themselves.

No power keeps them on their steady course. The earth spins itself to keep the oceans from falling off towards the sun.

A kidney will filter poison from the blood, and leave good things alone.

How does it know one from the other?

There is No God!

Infants teach themselves to cry when they are hungry or hurt. A small flower invented itself so that we could extract digitalis for sick hearts.

The earth gave itself day and night, tilted itself so that we get seasons: Without the magnetic poles man would be unable to navigate the trackless oceans of water and air, but they just grew there.

How about the sugar thermostat in the pancreas? It maintains a level of sugar in the blood sufficient for energy. Without it, all of us fall into a coma and die.

Who gave the human tongue flexibility to form words, and a brain to understand them, but denied it to the animals?

Who showed a womb how to take the love of two persons and keep splitting a tiny ovum until, in time, a baby would have the proper number of fingers, eyes and ears and hair in the right places, and come into the world when it is strong enough to sustain life?

There is no God? For other examples see the Bible book of Job.

e to uid d g Go ick Qu ce with Pea

ACKNOWLEDGE that you are a sinner, and have fallen short of God’s perfection Romans 3:23

Why does snow sit on mountain-tops waiting for the warm spring sun to melt it at just the right time for the young crops in farms below to drink?

BELIEVE in the Lord Jesus Christ

A very lovely accident. The human heart will beat for seventy to eighty years or more without faltering. How does it get sufficient rest between beats?

CONFESS with your mouth that

as your personal lord and saviour Revelation 21:27

Jesus Christ is now your Lord by telling others about it. Scary?

THOUGHTS

On milk delivery Dear milkman, Just had a baby. Please leave another one

Ted on 01242 573078

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one.

The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Julia Gillard* said, "I am the prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest woman in Australian history, so Australia 's people don't want me to die." She took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator, and a decorated war hero from the Army of the United States of America ." So he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life, and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's a parachute left for you. Australia 's smartest woman took my schoolbag." * She was at the time PM

Please cancel one pint after the day after today Milkman. Please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off milk Please leave another pint of paralysed Leave one extra pint. If this note blows away, please knock Please leave no milk today.

When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday

If you need prayer or help with any topic I have covered in “Thoughts” ring me. See front panel for number

DEG E L B B O G

By year four, peopl wil be reseptiv to linguistic korektions such as replasing "th" with "z" and ""w" with "v", saving more keyboard spas).

The European union has just announced an agreement that English will be its official language - rather than German (the other possibility).

During ze fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sinsibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrion vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for simplification, and has accepted a five year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language and which will result in it being reclassified as EuroEnglish The plan is as follows: In year 1 the soft "c" as in "ceiling" will be replaced by "s". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump for joy.

The hard "c" as in "cat" will be replased by "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan reduse the number of keys ("ch" will remain as it is.)

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" is replased by "f". This will reduse "fotograf" by 20%.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spellng kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurat Speling. >>>

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! found in parish magazine

Very interesting facts Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, 'mind your own bee's wax.' Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term 'crack a smile'. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . .

Therefore, the expression 'losing face”.

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in 'straight laced'. . Wore a tightly tied lace.

Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the 'Ace of Spades.' To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't 'playing with a full deck.'

In the late 1700's, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a

long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The 'head of the household' always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.

Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the 'chair man.' Today in business, we use the expression or title 'Chairman' or 'Chairman of the Board..'

Are you a whinger?

Comment cards for a wilderness in Wyoming

1. Trails need to be wider so that people can walk holding hands 2. Please avoid building trails that go uphill 3. Too many bugs; leeches and spiders and their webs, please spray the area to get rid of these pests 4. Please pave the trails so they can be ploughed clear of snow during the winter 5. Chairlifts would save us having to hike to beauty spots 6. The coyotes kept me awake all night please eradicate them 7. A deer stole my jar of pickles, can I get reimbursed?

8. Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights

Do you get the idea?

THOUGHTS Autumn 2015

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish somewhere, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer healing touch.

If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over 2 billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

GOBBLEDEGOOK OOK

THOUGHTS Autumn 2015

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.

>>>Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful and they should eliminat them.