Issue 819

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Issue 819 - May 13, 2013 e

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The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read!®

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TRAMPOLINES by Janet Spencer

You see them in backyards everywhere. Join Tidbits as we find out the story behind them! NVIRONMENTAL

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• George Nissen was a three-time National Tumbling Champion for the years 1935–1937. As a young adult he became fascinated watching the acrobats at the circus falling into the nets from the high wire, sometimes doing amazing tricks and twists as they bounced. He also watched vaudeville acts that used springboards in their acts. One actor would pretend to fall into the orchestra pit, only to bounce back up on the stage. And he’d heard that Eskimos stretched walrus skins between stakes in the ground and then bounced up and down on them just for fun. Inspired by a love of gymnastics, Nissen wanted to invent some kind of “jumping table.”

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• He started work on his invention in 1926 while still in school, scavenging materials from the local dump, and tinkered with the idea for over ten years. Finally, using the rails from a bed, rope, strips of inner tube, and some canvas, Nissen and a local gymnastics coach named Larry Griswold came up with a prototype. They took it to the YMCA where Nissen worked as an instructor to test market it. The kids stood in long lines for a chance to bounce on it.

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683 Interesting Stuff

TRAMPOLINES (continued)

May 31, 2013

May 31, 2013

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• When Nissen graduated from college in 1938 he set about improving the invention. He called it the “trampoline,” from the Spanish word trampolin which means “diving board.” He began to mass produce them, but couldn’t understand why they weren’t selling. He found that people saw it as something suitable only for the circus or professional performers. So he strapped a trampoline to the top of his car and took off crosscountry, giving exhibitions anywhere a crowd was gathered: schools, fairs, playgrounds, and sports events, taking orders on the spot. • When World War II started, he convinced the Army and the Navy that a trampoline would be a good part of a pilot training program. Pilots training on a trampoline became less fearful of being upside-down. They learned to control the falling and the turning of their bodies, and it helped them hone their balance and body control in midair situations. Soldiers who used trampolines in the service ordered them when they went home after the war. Business continued to improve. In 1948, trampolining was included in the NCAA and AAU list of gymnastic events at official competitions. In the 1950s it swept the country as a fad. • Nissen went on to build a very successful sports equipment empire, manufacturing gymnastics equipment and trampolines. George Nissen holds over 30 patents on sports and fitness equipment. At the age of 83, he won the Senior Fitness Award from the California Governor’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. Nissen works to pass on his enthusiasm and love for the sport of gymnastics, which is where the story of the trampoline began: each year the Nissen Award is given to the outstanding collegiate gymnast in the nation. • As a promotional stunt, Nissen taught a kangaroo to jump on a trampoline and then went to Egypt to bounce on top of a pyramid. He trained the kangaroo using dried apricots as treats and quickly learned that the best way to keep from getting kicked was to hold “hands” with the kangaroo’s front paws. • When officials at the Arkansas Children’s Hospital did a study, they found that four percent of the patients seen in their hospital emergency room over a five-year period in the mid-1990s were there with orthopedic injuries due to accidents on trampolines. About 70% of the accidents were due to more than one child being on the tramp at one time, a definite no-no. • Jeff Schwartz of Illinois bounced on a trampoline for 266 hours, 9 minutes in 1981, setting a world record. (That’s just over 11 days.) He was allowed breaks for eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom. Continued on page 7


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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 3

Cat Q & A

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Strange Noises – Is Your Cat Afraid? Some cats adapt to common and strange noises instantly and some cats can never adapt to these sounds. Trying to soothe your cat may not work and these sounds may be feared life long. Examples: Computers and printers can create fascination and fun for a curious feline. Turn on the printer and your cat may rush over to sit on it, lie on it and play with the paper as it comes out. Your cat may want to be your computer buddy every time the opportunity presents. Whereas your other cat flees in terror when you do computer/printer things. Cats respond differently to sounds depending on their personality, experiences and their survival instincts. Some cats can learn to accept the noise and some cats cannot.

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Cats respond to noise differently than dogs. Dogs use ‘escape behavior’ to run away and hide from thunder and fireworks (freaking out!) whereas cats are scared of unexpected household noises from dishwashers, vacuums, and construction work retreat and hide. Less often do cats get frightened by thunder and fireworks or they will find a safe place until the disturbance passes. Survival and genetics play a strong role in protecting the cat from harm. Some cats are genetically afraid of most things (such as a feral barn cat) and will never adjust to living with humans. Cats will retreat to a safe place and hide to survive. Pleasure noises: opening a tuna can will bring your cat running from a sound sleep, sounds of play with other cats and opening the refrigerator. Cats adapt to positive noises very quickly and will teach owners to repeat these actions by purring, meows and seeking attention. Cat train people!

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If your cat is a scaredy cat, let your cat retreat and hide in a safe place of his choosing. Your cat will usually come out when enough time has passed and it is safe to come out. This behavior is natural and this is what happens to cats in the wild. Luring your cat out of hiding by treats or playing with a toy can help soothe the situation. Desensitization with repeated exposures to the noise at low levels and gradually increasing will help adjust your cat to the noise as being normal. Again, some cats will never adjust to certain noises. Dr. James K. Olson is "The Meow Doc", a nationally recognized veterinarian specializing exclusively in cats. Dr. Olson holds the title of Diplomate, Feline Specialty, from the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners. He is certified to practice nuclear medicine by the State of Colorado Department of Radiaton Safety. His practice is located in Castle Rock, Colorado. For more information please visit his comprehensive website: www.CatSpecialist.com

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For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683 4 Twenty Questions Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

20 QUESTIONS

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Classic Television Trivia

1. What was the name of Archie & Edith’s daughter on All in the Family? 2. Pepper was the spicy name for the character played by Angie Dickenson on what show? 3. Who played Maude on the show with the same name? 4. What was the name of the parents on The Brady Bunch? 5. Who played the Samurai on Saturday Night Live? 6. What bird is the symbol of NBC? 7. What kind of birds did Les Nessman drop from a helicopter in a Thanksgiving episode of WKRP in Cincinnati? 8. Dana Plato played what part on Diff’rent Strokes? 9. Can you name the Good Times mother who had a geographic name? 10. Who was Tattoo’s boss on Fantasy Island? 11. Name the actor who played Willis on Diff’rent Strokes. 12. Name Stanley Roper’s wife on Three’s Company. 13. What would Richard Dawson often give female contestants on Family Feud? 14. Do you remember the name of the Taxi mechanic played by Andy Kaufman? 15. The Duke boys had a name for the car they drove on The Dukes of Hazzard. Do you remember the name? 16. Bob & Emily Hartley were the characters on what sit-com? 17. What card game did Oscar Madison love to play with his buddies on The Odd Couple? 18. Linda Lavin starred in what sitcom that premiered on CBS in 1876? Hint: it starts with “A”. 19. What was the name of the secretary played by Loni Anderson on WKRP in Cincinnati? 20. What was the name of the actor who played Sanford on Sandford and Son?

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Cat’s-eye Chrysoberyl

purplemtntree@yahoo.com

We have several Branson Tractor models available! We also carry many attachments and implements!

Scott McQueen The cat's-eye chrysoberyl reminds many of the eye of a panther with its distinct band of light that crosses its face from top to bottom or side to side. This mysterious looking gemstone is a cousin of the color-changing alexandrite. Chrysoberyl colors range from a honey brown to an apple green with the rich gold colors deemed the most valuable. The principal value factor is the strength and sharpness of the eye. Fine cat’s-eye chrysoberyl often shows a “milk and honey” effect. When a bright light is directed at the side of the stone, one side of the eye will be milky white while the other will glow a honey gold. If you rotate the stone, the colors switch. Perhaps the changing aspect of this stone is why men love cat’s-eye chrysoberyl in their jewelry. And then there’s the myth that a cat’s eye can point fortune in the direction of the one wearing it – just another reason to own this enigmatic gemstone. If you want to find a cat’s-eye for yourself you’ll have to travel to Sri Lanka, Brazil or China and while you’re hunting, don’t confuse the real chrysoberyl cat’s eye with quartz cat’s eyes. Or just drop in to Pinetree Jewelers and we’ll help you find the perfect cat’s eye for you.

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Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. It is located at 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker. For more information on gemstones or jewelry of any kind call 303.841.2666

303-717-2841 11028 S Pikes Peak Dr. Parker, CO 80138

2nd location 190 S Wilcox St., C Castle Rock, CO 303-660-2696

Located behind Pine Tree Jewelers

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THIS IS A HAMMER By Samantha Mazzotta Summer Energy Savings Q: Can CFL light bulbs really save money? I’m not convinced. But my electric bill is high enough that I need all the help I can get. -- Carey T., Boone, N.C. A: Depending on the wattage they offset (of old-fashioned light bulbs), compact fluorescent light bulbs can save you some money. Of course, that savings builds up over time -- months and years. They’re best used as part of an overall energy savings plan for your home. You don’t have to outfit your house with a complete solar panel array, wind turbines or other top-line (and top-dollar) gadgets to start cutting your energy bills. Savings can start as easily as turning off unnecessary lights and unplugging electrical or electronic items that don’t see much use: for example, a clock radio in the guest room. Set your summertime thermostat no lower than 68 degrees F. If you have a programmable thermostat, have it shift to a slightly higher temperature, say, 74 F, when no one is at home. And here’s a thermostat fact that not everyone knows: It’s better to simply set the temperature higher, rather than turn off the air conditioner, during the hottest months. When you get home and want to lower the temperature to a more comfortable level, the air conditioner has much less work to do and will cool the house much more quickly. Another enemy of energy efficiency is dust. Keep the air-conditioning vent covers free of dust, and vacuum the registers monthly. Likewise, change the air conditioner’s filter screen once a month during the cooling season. And, because dust can gunk up a refrigerator’s cooling coils and reduce its efficiency -- as well as its lifespan -- clean the coils and vacuum under and behind the fridge every couple of months throughout the year. Weatherstripping around window and door frames, usually a fall-season chore, can reduce the amount of cool air escaping the house. If you really want to tackle the problem, get a home-energy audit -- offered at low or no cost by many utilities -- to locate the areas of greatest air leakage.

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HOME TIP: My husband likes to watch TV until he falls asleep, but then the TV is on all night, running up the electric bill. I solved the problem by programming the television to turn off at a scheduled time -- a feature found on the menu screen. Send your questions or home tips to ask@thisisahammer.com. My new e-book, “101 Best Home Tips,” is available to download on Amazon Kindle! Pick it up it today for just 99 cents.


Tidbits Information

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COMPETITIVE JUMPING (continued): • The record for the most consecutive somersaults on a trampoline is 3,333 and was set by Brian Hudson (UK) at Jumpers Rebound Centre, Gillingham, Kent, UK on September 18, 2003. • A world record was set on July 24, 1999 when a team of 20 members of a trampoline club in West York, UK, did 29,503 somersaults in exactly five hours using two standard trampolines. This averages out at just under 1,500 somersaults per person, or about five somersaults per minute. • In 1986, Cleveland State University’s Delta Epsilon fraternity fielded a six-man team that set the Guinness World Record for continuous bouncing on a trampoline, with 53 days of jumping between six people. President Reagan called the team to congratulate them.

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

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• In 1962, West Germany was the first country to host an international trampolining event. • On a modern competitive trampoline, a skilled athlete can bounce to a height of up to 33 feet. • In competitive trampolining, each contestant must perform two sets of maneuvers. In the first set, everyone must complete the same ten basic moves which include the three standard shapes: tucked, piked, and straight. The second set is free-form in which contestants make up their own routines. In all routines, the contestant must begin and end on their feet. • During a competition, a trampolinist is in contact with the trampoline bed for just 0.3 seconds between moves. In 2010, a new “Time of Flight” score was introduced into professional trampolining, which is calculated on how much time the trampolinist is in the air. To measure it, a box is fitted under the trampoline which measures every time the competitor hits the bed. • There are five judges. When a performance is scored, the highest and lowest scores are tossed out and the remaining scores are added together to come up with the final tally. • Nissen always wanted to have trampolining included in the Olympic Games. This finally happened in the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney. In 2008, Nissen was able to travel to Beijing to watch the trampoline event at the 2008 Summer Olympics. He was given the honor of testing out the Olympic trampoline before the event. • George Nissen died in San Diego, California, on April 7, 2010 at the age of 96 from complications from pneumonia, having seen his dream become a reality.

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AGES 6 MONTHS THROUGH ADULT Parent-Tot Classes Group Lessons Individualized Attention No more than four students per class! Preschool Classes Private Lessons

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NBN Mission Statement ”To develop basketball players in the State of Colorado through in-depth training and coaching that focuses first on the core fundamentals. Our instruction will specifically help your child enhance their Dribbling, Passing, Shooting, and Offensive Moves as well as learn the basics of Defense and Rebounding. Our goal at Nothing But Net is to increase the number of home grown (Colorado) collegiate level basketball players. NBN Purpose and Goals The Nothing But Net Way It is our system that distinguishes us from other basketball programs or similar services. Individualized Directed Programs Each individual player will receive quality instruction in workout sessions that is tailored specifically to the players’ skill level or situation. Your child will learn how to improve his Dribbling, Passing, Shooting, and Offensive Moves though intense player development sessions. Also the Nothing But Net staff will better the conditioning of every player and show them the intensity level you have to play at to be successful at a high level.


8 Information

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

OPEN HOUSE!!!

May 18th, 2013 · 9am - 3pm Food & Fun Stuff Special Pricing, Special Finance! Special Deals the day of the Open House! Stop in and Join the fun!

Your Chores come in ALL shapes and sizes! So do our tractors! New, Used, Big or Small! We have a tractor designed to meet your needs. Great Selection! Great Value! Great Pricing! Great Financing!

Give us a call or stop by and see for yourself how a Kubota Tractor will make your chores easier, faster and fun! STEEL TRACTOR 9479 Bandley Dr. Fountain, CO 80817

719-392-9292 • 719-243-0573 • 1-800-348-3478 Elk Mountain Brewing is Parkers only Microbrewery with a tap room; located at 18921 E. Plaza Drive. What is unique about our brewery is that we Cindy Rose do not serve food but you can bring in your own food or have it delivered. Stop by with friends and enjoy a fresh brew on our large back patio when the weather is nice. Our patio is pet friendly and we sell Brew Chew treats for your pet. We have weekly specials for everyone. Start the week out right with our 60 Minute Mondays; get $2.00 off our regular flight beers when you purchase a pint between the hours of 5-6pm. Growler Tuesdays; bring in or purchase an Elk Mountain Growler and receive a discount. Firkin Wednesdays; for those of you who are adventurous and want to try a unique beer, we tap a different beer every Wednesday at 4pm. Look for our Thirsty Thursday Mug Club, details coming out soon. SAVE THE DATE: August 3rd for our 3 year anniversary and 1st annual Beer Olympics. Friend us on facebook or check out our website for further details of upcoming events, special tapping parties, entertainment, food trucks and much more at www.elkmountainbrewing.com. CHEERS!!! 18921 Plaza Dr., #104 Parker, CO 80134 www.elkmountainbrewing.com 303-805BREW (2739)

LARKSPUR PIZZARIA & CAFE

M DA OTH YS PEC ERS IAL S!

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Exp • May 2 - Don Coenon “Former Steppenwolf Member” a Pat nded • May 9 - Paul Glover & Friends “Guitar Maestro” for io ope outdo Thu n o rsda s in Ju r • May 16 & 23 - Steven Roloff & Bryan Boyce “Austsin, Texas Country” ne y& Mu • May 30 - Darren & Son “Local Country Guy” sic Sunda !!!

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303-681-2090 Dine In/Take Out

Monday - Closed, Tuesday & Wednesday open 4:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Thursday - Sunday open 11:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.


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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

9

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Celebrating 20 YEARS!!!

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Another school year is drawing to a close — so if you have young children, they’re one year closer to the day when they head off to college. And both you and your children need to prepare for that day. Your kids can do so by developing good study habits. As for you, it’s never too soon to start preparing for the high costs of higher education. Just how costly is college? According to the College Board’s figures for the 2012-13 academic year, the average cost for one year at an in-state four-year public school is $22,261; for a private school, the comparable expense is $43,289. And if college costs continue rising faster than the general inflation rate, these figures will increase substantially in the years ahead.

Excluding Hardware & Delivery

Not good with any other offer or quote Offer Expires May 31, 2013 Firewood Not Included

One Mile North of Franktown on Highway 83 - west side

Classified Education

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Pets

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Employment

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Cindy Rose

Of course, it’s entirely possible that your kids will receive some scholarships or grants, which can significantly lower your out-of-pocket price tag. Nonetheless, it’s probably a good idea not to count on your offspring getting a “full ride” to school — which means that you may want to start exploring college-savings vehicles. Fortunately, you have some attractive options, one of which is a 529 plan. When you contribute to a 529 plan, your earnings accumulate tax free, provided they are used for qualified higher education expenses. (Keep in mind, though, that 529 plan distributions not used for qualified expenses may be subject to federal and state income tax and a 10% IRS penalty.) Furthermore, your 529 plan contributions may be deductible from your state taxes. However, 529 plans vary, so be sure to check with your tax advisor regarding deductibility. A 529 plan offers other benefits, too. For one thing, the lifetime contribution limits for 529 plans are quite generous; while these limits vary by state, some plans allow contributions well in excess of $200,000. Plus, a 529 plan is flexible: if your child, grandchild or other beneficiary decides against college or vocational school, you can transfer the unused funds to another family member, tax and penalty free. While a 529 plan may be a good choice for building resources for college, it’s certainly not the only choice. For example, a Coverdell Education Savings Account, like a 529 plan, can generate tax-free earnings if the money is used for higher education expenses. However, you can typically only put in a maximum of $2,000 per year to a Coverdell account. Another college-savings possibility is a custodial account, known as an UGMA or UTMA, which offers some tax benefits, no contribution limits, and may have an impact on financial aid. You might also consider investing in a zero-coupon bond that matures just when your child is ready for college. Unlike other bonds, you won’t receive regular interest payments with a zero-coupon bond, but you purchase it at a deep discount, so you might find the affordability factor to be worth considering. (Be aware, though, that even though you don’t actually receive the interest payments annually, you’ll still be liable for the taxes on them, so before purchasing a zero coupon bond, consult with your tax advisor). This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Cindy Rose, Financial Advisor 2195 N Highway 83 #23 - Franktown, CO 80116 303.688-2127 Member SIPC


10 Church & Community

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

10431 Park Glenn Way - Parker S. Parker Road & Plaza Drive

303.840.2800

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Pinecrest Community Church is a fellowship of Christ-followers actively demonstrating our love for God by caring and loving one another and serving the communities we live and work in. Do we always get it right? Nope. We freely admit that we're imperfect. We're all different, with different stories and different life struggles, but we come together as one fellowship under the grace and cross of Jesus Christ. We invite you to take this spiritual journey with us in a casual atmosphere of fellowship, worship, and relevant Biblical teaching. Answers on page 5

GOT PRAYERS? WRITE THEM DOWN AND SEND THEM WITH YOUR ONE DOLLAR GIFT TO

PRAYERS INC. PO BOX 260182 LAKEWOOD CO 80226 WE WANT TO PRAY WITH YOU WWW.PRAYERS-INC.COM Ask the Dentist Q: Does Gum Disease Cause Heart Attacks? A: Yes…….and strokes, low birth weight babies. Recent research proves a definite link between gum disease, heart disease, stroke, and pre-term low birth weight babies. Good oral health is more than just having an attractive smile; it can have a definite relationship to your overall health, lifestyle, and longevity. The Academy of General Dentistry (AGD) reports that more than 90 percent of all systemic diseases can be manifest in abnormal oral health. Q: How do I know if I have Gum Disease? A: Warning signs of gum disease include: • Stinky breath • Puffy, red, sore gums that may bleed when brushing or flossing • Loose teeth • Changes in the way the bite fits or feels • Receding gums exposing the root surfaces

new beginning

Community Church Are you on a Spiritual Path? LET’S JOURNEY TOGETHER

Center for Spiritual Living of Castle Rock Sunday 10 a.m.

Location: Castle Rock Recreation Center 2301 Woodlands Blvd Castle Rock CO 80104

720-851-0265

www.OurCenterforSpiritualLiving.org

10550 S. Progress Way, Suite 100 Parker, CO 80134-4029

Looking for a New Beginning? YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US A Friendly Place to Worship Sunday School for all ages 9:00AM Coffee and Fellowship 10:00AM Praise and Worship 10:30AM Wed Eve Youth Group 7:00PM Small Groups Meeting throughout the Week AWANA for the Children during school year E-mail: office@nbccparker.com – Phone: [303] 495-2949 – Web Site: nbccparker.com

Q: Is gum disease contagious? A: Yes! The bad bugs (“bacteria”) that cause gum disease are readily passed from one person to another. (Be sure to “think before you kiss”!) Gum disease (Periodontal Disease) is an infection in the gums and bone supporting the teeth, caused by specific bacteria. These bacteria organize into a sticky, creamy, stinky substance (paque) that sticks tenaciously around the teeth and gums. Gum disease can advance for years without detection or pain. Damage to the supporting bone is irreversible. The best cure is prevention before it happens or stopping gum disease in its tracks before major damage and tooth loss occur, and before you pass it to your “significant other”. See your dentist and dental hygienist and be sure to ask those important questions above – or call our office for a FREE Periodontal check-up and exam. Please see our ad on page 1 of Tidbits 720-870-9500 10470 S Progress Way #100 Parker, CO 80134


Moments in Time

For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 11

¥ On May 30, 1431, in Normandy, Joan of Arc, the peasant girl who became the savior of France, is burned at the stake for heresy. Her most serious crime, according to the tribunal, was her rejection of church authority in favor of direct inspiration from God. She was 19 years old. ¥ On May 31, 1889, the South Fork Dam in Johnstown, Pa., collapses, causing a flood that kills more than 2,200 people. It was the largest earthen dam (made of dirt and rock, rather than steel and concrete) in the United States. Reportedly, a baby survived on the floor of a house as it floated 75 miles from Johnstown.

PARTS

OnSpot Chains Tire Services A/C Service D-Brakes 4X4 Service

CARE

&

¥ On May 29, 1914, heavy fog on the St. Lawrence River in Canada causes a collision of boats -- the Empress of Ireland and the Storstad -- that kills 1,073 people. Caused by a horrible series of blunders, it was one of the worst maritime disasters in history.

SERVICE

Paint & Body Services Full Detail Service Scheduled Maintenance Graphics & Lettering Hydraulic Repairs

Front End Alignments Braun & Ricon Lift Services Ski/Bike Rack Fabrication 30K Pound Vehicle Lift

¥ On May 27, 1937, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge opens to the public after five years of construction. On opening day -- “Pedestrian Day” -- some 200,000 walkers crossed the bridge, which spans the Golden Gate Strait at the entrance to San Francisco Bay and connects San Francisco and Marin County.

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¥ On June 2, 1924, with Congress’ passage of the Indian Citizenship Act, the government of the United States confers citizenship on all Native Americans born within the territorial limits of the country. Before the Civil War, citizenship often was limited to Native Americans of one-half or less Indian blood.

PARTS

&

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Safety

Performance

¥ On May 28, 1957, National League owners vote unanimously to allow the New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers to move to San Francisco and Los Angeles, respectively, at the mid-season owner’s meeting in Chicago. ¥ On June 1, 1980, CNN (Cable News Network), the world’s first 24-hour television news network, makes its debut. Today, CNN is seen in more than 89 million American households and more than 160 million homes internationally. In its first years of operation, CNN lost money and was ridiculed as the Chicken Noodle Network.

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American Family Mutual Insurance Company and its Subsidiaries American Family Insurance Company Home Office — Madison, WI 53783 amfam.com © 2009 07497 — Rev. 2/09


For Advertising Call Tim (303)994-9683 Laugh Lines

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 12

Laugh Lines! What’s the Worst Age to BE?

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"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there nothing comes out."

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Rd

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

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r Parke

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

Lincoln Ave Way Progress

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

Plaza Dr

out k c e LY e ch Com ker’s ON ! Par rewery B

"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and have a bowl movement every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

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