NCM May/June 2020

DEIDRE BEMBRY & KERIS KARES How a Mom’s Heartbreak Became Help for Her Community

cooking!! cooking LOOK WHO’S

YOUNG CHEFS STIR THE POT

THE KIDS ISSUE MAY | JUNE 2020 COMPLIMENTARY COPY

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The Coweta Cities & County EFCU would like to thank Captain Travis Hall, his fellow City & County Firefighters, all our First Responders, 911 Operators, and especially our Healthcare Workers as they work tirelessly to serve and protect the residents of Newnan and Coweta County.

We would also like to thank Capt. Hall for volunteering to serve on the Board of Directors since 2015. It’s volunteers like Travis dedicated to our community that make the difference at Coweta Cities & County Employees Federal Credit Union.

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Aurie Montgomery concentrates while measuring the precise portion of baking soda needed for her cookie recipe.

Photo by Jackie Kennedy

our features 18 | Young Chefs INDOOR AND OUTDOOR CEREMONY OPTIONS • BEAUTIFULLY APPOINTED BALLROOM ACCOMMODATES UP TO 350 GUESTS • ON-SITE BRIDE AND GROOM SUITES

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Like ducks to water, kids take to cooking and come out champs in classes tailored just for them.

By Frances Kidd

24 | The NCM Q&A When darkness fell on her family, Deidre Bembry was determined to find light. By Jackie Kennedy

32 | Sharp Moves Young students in Sharpsburg learn dance skills while building self-confidence. By Jenny Enderlin

10 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

34

Photo by Sara Moore

Hope Youth Center CEO Lee Ayers, left, works with children in the computer lab, from left: Jararian Anderson, Chari Anderson, Mya Hall and Katelinn Anderson.

in this issue 12 | From the Editor 15 | Roll Call 16 | Ask a Mom 17 | Coweta to Me 34 | Non-Profit Spotlight 38 | Coweta Garden 40 | Coweta Kids Care 41  | Blacktop 42 | The Wrap-Up

on the cover

Aurie Montgomery exudes joy while learning to cook. ➤ Young Chefs, page 18

Photo by Jackie Kennedy

28

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

1690 Hwy 34 E • Newnan

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ears ago, I read somewhere that with each child a woman has, her IQ decreases by 10 points. No doubt, mine has dropped at least 30 points since having kids. Maybe more.

While they do make me crazy at times, my children are responsible for most of my happiest memories — and the hope for more to come.

It’s a good thing I like my offspring because in recent weeks, they’re the only humans I’ve ventured near. In the age of Coronavirus, I’m especially grateful for their good humor, which proves a fine distraction from putting out a magazine during a worldwide pandemic.

Like others, our business has been affected. Advertisers had no choice but to pull their ads when their events were canceled or stores closed.

We feel for them. And, with them, we look forward to better days.

In the meantime, we hope you enjoy this issue’s features on kids learning to dance (see Sharpsburg Dance Academy on page 32), to cook (see Young Chefs of Newnan on page 18), and to form community bonds (see Hope Youth Center on page 34). Their curiosity to learn new things — and the joy they exude while doing so — are infectious.

We also feature Deidre Bembry, a local mom who established a nonprofit in memory of her daughter, Keris, who died from brain cancer at age 6. During my interview with Deidre, she reached for a tissue three times to dab away tears. I choked up once, swallowing the emotions before I had to grab a tissue, too. All told though, her story is less one of sorrow over what’s been taken and more one of joy and what’s been given. See page 24.

Our hope is that you find joy in your Coweta summer. Join your children to catch lightning bugs or run through water sprayed from a hosepipe. Don’t let them have all the fun.

After what we’ve been through in recent weeks, we need some fun, too.

Jackie Kennedy, Editor magazine@newnan.com

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Jackie Kennedy, second from left, credits her kids with a 30-point drop in her IQ, from left, Ben, Danny and Rachel Kennedy.

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Newnan-Coweta Magazine recently posted this photo on our Facebook page and asked visitors to caption it. We received 26 outstanding entries, making it difficult to narrow it down to one winner. But we did, and the winning entry was submitted

by Rhonda Driver Meeks, of Cedartown, whose family members live in Newnan. She receives an NCM 25th Anniversary T-shirt, shown here. In May, we’ll post to Facebook another photo in need of a caption. We look forward to your creativity!

ROLL CALL

Frances Kidd is a Newnan native who spent most of her adult years working as a nonprofit and marketing consultant. Although she’s an avid traveler, she never lost her Southern accent. If she’s not in Georgia, you can find her out in the country in Italy.

SALON AND LIFESTYLE BOUTIQUE Jeffrey Ward is a native San Franciscan, Vietnam vet and University of Washington communications grad with a 50-year career in aviation.

He’s been married 47 years, has two adult children and six grandchildren, and is a foodie and Facebook junkie.

Jenny Enderlin is a freelance writer and Marine Corps spouse who lives in downtown Newnan. She enjoys her involvement with One Roof, Newnan-Coweta Historical Society, Saint Mary Magdalene Catholic Church, Coweta County Democrat Party, and Backstreet Community Arts.

Susan Mayer Davis lives with husband Larry and golden retriever Mariah.

What she enjoys most about writing for NCM is meeting great people when she researches articles and then sharing their stories. “It’s fun,” she says, “but it’s also a privilege.”

Let Us Hear From You...

Send thoughts, ideas and suggestions to magazine@newnan.com

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JAMESMALONE.COM MAY/JUNE 2020 | 15

ASK A

MOM @ newnan.com Compiled and Edited by JILL WHITLEY

N

o matter which side you find yourself on in the Mommy Wars, we can all agree that parenting is the most difficult job on earth. Whether you’re single or married, working or staying at home, there’s no easy path to raising a happy, healthy child.

Take a breath, and grab a cup of tea, because Newnan-Coweta Magazine has you covered with a brand new feature tailored just for parents—Ask a Mom at Newnan.com.

We have partnered with some amazing Coweta-area moms who are experts in fields ranging from pediatrics and obstetrics to education and psychology, to first responders and regular, everyday moms. Some are momsmade-superheroes by raising medically fragile children and caring for aging parents as they do. They are all available to answer readers’ questions about parenting, kids and family life in general.

So come on, send your concerns to askamom@newnan.com. It really does take a village, and we are here to be your village with judgment-free, real-life answers.

This month’s Ask a Mom experts: Dr. Megan V. Boyd, PhD, LPC, CPCS, is the director of Training and Professional Development for a local behavioral health management company. Boyd has experience as a counselor, educator and behavioral health clinic director, and her clinical background includes working with children, adolescents, adults and families experiencing trauma and other behavioral health concerns. Her family moved to Newnan four years ago and enjoys raising their two children here.

Jill Whitley is a former court-appointed child advocate for Coweta CASA and has navigated widowhood, single parenting and blending a family. She lives in Coweta County with her incredibly patient husband and two kind-hearted, hilarious children.

What happens when gifted kids lose focus?

This month’s question was submitted by Paige L. of Newnan: My sixth-grader has always been in the gifted program and done well in school, but this year my child has become unorganized and unmotivated. How do I help him get on task and make good grades? I am trying everything I can think of, but we fight over school work everyday. It’s not because he doesn’t understand it but because he simply misplaces things, procrastinates, or forgets to turn in work.

Dr. Megan Boyd: It is wonderful that your son has the opportunity to participate in the gifted program. It is natural at this stage of development for a child to become disorganized or seemingly not motivated. So many hormonal changes are occurring at this age and, unfortunately, have a tendency to impact these skills. I would also be curious to know if your son wants to continue participation in the gifted program?

Is he reporting increased pressure to make good grades? Is he being challenged? Or is he simply uninterested? These may not be questions that your child is comfortable discussing with you, so you may want to enlist the assistance of the school counselor or another trusted educator. Finally, I wonder if your child is participating in any extracurricular activities or hobbies. Sometimes the lack of focus may come from overstimulation.

Jill Whitley: Dr. Boyd brings up some fabulous points, especially in regard to staying in close contact with your son’s teachers and counselors. My child, like yours, was labeled gifted early on and excelled throughout elementary school. Unfortunately, when he entered sixth grade, everything changed. His homework, textbooks and school supplies seemed to vanish into thin air, his test scores dropped, and my former enthusiastic learner simply couldn’t be bothered to study, read or complete assignments. The most frustrating part was not being able to figure out what was going on because suddenly, my sweet, cheerful mama’s boy was entirely too cool to talk to me.

It wasn’t until our first parent-teacher conference that I learned that it’s incredibly common for kids who excel in their elementary classes to hit a wall when they reach middle school. Because they never needed to study to succeed, they never learned how to work out challenging material. On top of that, the hormonal and emotional changes they experience in these grades lead them to have complex thoughts and fears about school that they don’t yet have the words to express. This is why building a relationship with an expert is so important. They’ve seen the pattern before and can work with you as a family to get to the root of the problem without fighting or tears. More importantly, you are teaching your child that it’s okay to ask for help. They’ll see that mom isn’t sure what to do here, so she’s enlisted someone who does know how to solve the problem. And your kids will remember that they don’t have to go it alone when presented with another challenge.

Finally, by building a trusted network of adults your child can turn to with a problem, your kiddo will know that Mom always has his back but will only provide scaffolding for success. The rest is up to him. NCM

COWETA TO ME

The Untimate Southern Mother Written by MEGAN HOFFMAN

Megan Hoffman cuddles her kids, Ziggy, 13, and Charlie, 7.

What is Coweta to You?

A

s a grown-up, it’s hard to make friends.

Most people are pretty caught up in their lives. They are running down their own road, head down, focused on putting one foot in front of another.

I was in my own lane, huffing along, when I ran right into one of life’s obstacles. My children were not succeeding in their school environment, and so I decided to make a drastic change. I started homeschooling. After a few weeks of utter failure, I decided I needed help.

Enter Melanie Kingston.

I knew her casually from the neighborhood and the odd “Hello!” My daughter loved her, and so I thought I would see if perhaps Melanie might want to try out tutoring my daughter.

The first day, I knocked politely on her door. Charlie rushed in and hugged Melanie so hard she almost fell backward. It was incredible.

Charlie thrived under her care and I started arriving earlier and earlier so that I could grab a few minutes sitting on her couch, laughing about our kids and catching up.

She is the woman who gives endlessly, even when she has plenty of needs of her own. Raising five children, the eldest serving in the military and the youngest adopted, Melanie always has a donation box by her front door or is running dinner to someone who is struggling.

Her husband, Craig, is the head pastor for Southwest Christian Church. So giving comes naturally to Melanie and her family.

They have my children over to play and have fed us dinner many nights. She held my hand through my divorce, is the first person I call for advice, and she teaches me to think of others before myself.

She never asks for a thing but deserves the world.

She is the ultimate Southern mother — and a perfect reflection of what Coweta means to me. NCM

Whether you’ve lived here all your

Whatever your own Coweta County

life or only a year, we want to hear your

story is, we’d like you to share it with

personal Coweta story.

readers of Newnan-Coweta Magazine.

Did you and your husband fall in love

Keep your word count at 350-450 words,

here? Did you move here in your senior

please. Email your “Coweta to Me” story

year of high school and make lifelong

to magazine@newnan.com or mail to 16

friends? Did you pick guitar with your

Jefferson St., Newnan, GA 30263. We

grandpa and grow up to be a musician?

look forward to hearing from you.

CLOSER LOOK

“No one is born a great cook, one learns by doing.”

— Julia Child, chef, author and TV host

Look Who’s Cooking Young Chefs Stir the Pot Written by FRANCIS KIDD • Photographed by JACKIE KENNEDY

A

s the precursor to today’s celebrity chefs, Julia Child hosted one of the first televised cooking shows in the U.S. Her TV kitchen expanded as her popularity grew and is now on exhibit at the Smithsonian Museum in Washington, D.C. Whereas Child’s was one of few programs among early TV cooking shows, now there are multiple channels to watch professional as well as amateur chefs on television or online. The smorgasbord of cooking shows focus on topics ranging from barbecue to baking cupcakes, and watching them has become a family affair.

Children’s cooking shows have become increasingly popular as well.

If the children in your home clamor to watch shows like “Top Chef,” “Top Chef Junior” or “Kids Baking Championship” and dream of being a participant, you can skip the TV studio. Young Chefs of Newnan offers cooking lessons and similar challenges right here in Coweta County.

Two years ago, Newnan resident Sharon Rainwater was thinking about what she would do next after closing her bakery. She knew her future would somehow involve food. A friend asked her to cater a children’s birthday party and help the kids decorate cakes. Sharon found her answer at that party. She and the kids had so much fun, she 18 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

CLOSER LOOK

Sofia Sprayberry, of Newnan, takes a moment to taste test her cookie dough.

MAY/JUNE 2020 | 19

CLOSER LOOK

Young Chefs Emersyn Taylor, left, and Aurie Montgomery are baking buddies in Sharon Rainwater’s Young Chefs of Newnan cooking classes.

20 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

CLOSER LOOK started sharing her expertise and love of cooking and baking with a younger audience.

Young Chefs of Newnan cooking camps are held during school breaks and summer vacation. From 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., Monday through Thursday, kids age 5 to teens spend the week learning how to cook and bake. Rainwater also offers holiday editions focusing on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and there are night and morning classes for home-schooled students.

“Kids come from all over,” says Rainwater. “We’ve had students from all across Coweta County and from Columbus, Warm Springs and Pike County.”

Cooking kids work diligently during classes that can be quite intense, but the smiles on their faces prove they love the tasks. There’s a break for lunch; kids can either bring a meal from home or eat what they cooked that morning.

While they eat, they’re glued to the TV watching — what else? — cooking shows.

Most of her students follow at least one cooking show and are familiar with the “MasterChef ” and “Nailed It!”

challenges, according to Rainwater, who includes her version of these challenges in her camps. “The kids love it,” she says, noting that students serve as judges for the “Nailed It!” competition while their parents judge the “MasterChef ” challenge. The challenges serve as highlights of a week dedicated to learning cooking and baking techniques.

A typical cooking camp took place during winter break in February when 17 aspiring young chefs circled the prep tables in Rainwater’s classroom. Happy chatter mingled with cooking-related questions as younger students hopped off their step stools to find ingredients on the other side of the room. During a cookie decorating challenge, the room echoed with cries of, “I need the yellow,” “Who has the red?” and “Where are the sprinkles?” There was a great sense of cooperation as bags of icing were passed around. All the while, Rainwater watched to make sure her students had what they needed.

These cooking students think bigger than the Easy-Bake Oven. Their menu for cooking camp included lasagna, honey garlic chicken with rice, chocolate macaroons and

Siblings Gavin, 9, and Graysen Cox, 7, get to work on making dough for snickerdoodle cookies.

MAY/JUNE 2020 | 21

CLOSER LOOK

From left, Millie Harrill, Ally Montgomery and Lillian Cantrell form dough balls for snickerdoodles.

Christopher Boyd, of Pike County, masters the mixer.

Kinze Rainwater, Sharon’s 5-year-old daughter, has the advantage of taking part in all of her mom’s cooking classes.

“When she was 4, she wanted a Wonder Woman apron and mixing bowl,” says her mom, who got a Wonder Woman apron to match.

22 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

genuine Southern tea cakes. All of her students “nail it,” according to Rainwater.

“I’ve never had a student fail,” she says. “We go through all the directions and measurements as we work together. If they pay attention, they do great.”

Young Chefs of Newnan classes are a big hit with parents and students, many of whom attend camp multiple times and eagerly chat about their favorite parts.

Millie Harrill, of Newnan, has been to camp three times and her favorite part is the “Nailed It!” challenge, while Paulson Carey enjoyed making and eating Mongolian beef.

“It combined a lot of flavors,” he reported.

For first-time student Leah Barksdale, making pizza was the highlight of the week.

The pizza dough, like everything else cooked in class, is made from scratch, according to Rainwater, who says this is a great way to help educate students about where their food comes from and how important it is to prepare it the right way.

Parents of the kid cooks post glowing reviews on the Young Chefs of Newnan Facebook page: “Christopher loves cooking camp and his mom loves him coming home with dinner made. He has the best time with you and the other chefs,” writes Sharon Boyd of Pike County.

“Children leave feeling confident and proud of their cooking skills,” Karen Mount shares on Facebook.

While the classes are fun and tasty, there are other important benefits for both the students and their parents.

“The greatest thing you can do for your children is to cook and share food with them,” says Chef Jacques Pepin, national spokesperson for Spoons Across America, a nonprofit that educates families about healthy eating. “The precious moments you spend together around the family table go way beyond the food itself; they lead to an understanding of the benefits of healthy eating and are the basis for good family relationships.”

Taste-testing dishes as they prepare them helps introduce young chefs to new flavors, smells and textures. Math and reading skills improve as children learn how to read recipes and understand measurements.

The cooking classes serve as natural incubators for learning to work cooperatively and follow directions while increasing a child’s self-confidence.

Rainwater enjoys kids as much as she does cooking, making her endeavor to teach cooking to youngsters an

For Students Who Need an Academic Boost This Summer • Tutoring in Reading, Math and Writing Skills • Afternoon Recreational Activities

Lauren Downie, of Newnan, shows off the ingredients she’s about to mix to make cookies while her baking buddy, Ava Troiola, also of Newnan, looks on.

Newnan resident Leah Barksdale shows her skills at hand mixing.

obvious choice.

“I love to see their happy faces, especially when they proudly show their parents what they’ve made,” she says. “Kids are fun.”

Fun is an important concept in the busy classroom, spic-and-span when the class starts, a blur of flour, eggshells and cookie dough by the end of the day.

On the first day of camp, Rainwater asks an important question: “What is the first rule?”

In a loud chorus, the Young Chefs yell, “Have fun!”

And they do. NCM

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THE NCM Q&A

From Frozen to Light Turning Personal Heartbreak into a Passion to Help Written by JACKIE KENNEDY

N

ewnan resident Deidre Bembry is in a good place now. Her business is thriving and her children are healthy.

She doesn’t take that for granted.

Bembry and her husband, Trey, lost their 6-year-old daughter Keris to brain cancer in 2015. In May of that year, the little girl was the star of Keris Kares Royal Run, a 5K her parents started to raise funds for parents like them who dealt with massive bills associated with caring for a sick child. Two months later, their daughter succumbed to the disease.

In May, the sixth annual Keris Kares Royal Run would have been held if not for the Coronavirus pandemic; the event has been rescheduled to September 12. In the five years since the debut run, Keris Kares Incorporated, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, has expanded its outreach throughout Georgia with emphasis on providing financial assistance and meals for families struggling through a child’s cancer diagnosis and to support art education in elementary schools.

In that same five years, Deidra has built her business as a State Farm agent and even starred in a popular State Farm TV commercial, gaining good PR that has helped propel both her business and Keris Kares. She and Trey, a physical education teacher at Liberty Tech in Brooks, have three daughters, Denver, 12; Ashlyn, 7, Nova, 3, and as Deidra says, “an angel in heaven,” Keris, who would be turning 11 in May. In this issue’s Q&A, Deidra talks about business and finances, her family’s nonprofit and the subject deepest to her heart — kids.

Deidre Bembry 24 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

Photo by Sara Moore

THE NCM Q&A

When Deidre Bembry learned her daughter, Keris, had incurable cancer, she froze. But life around her didn’t stop.

The light she regained is now warmth to others.

Deidre and Trey Bembry cuddle with their kids in 2014, from left, Ashlyn, Denver and Keris.

Photo submitted by Deidre Bembry

MAY/JUNE 2020 | 25

THE NCM Q&A

NCM: Let’s start with the commercial. You were featured in a State Farm spot that debuted right at a year ago. Tell us about that experience.

Deidre: It was amazing. We shot it in California in March 2019 and were on set two full days to get footage for a 30-second commercial. It premiered when “Avengers: Endgame” came out. We were waiting for the movie to start, and to my surprise there was my commercial. My kids were losing it, squealing loudly, “Mommy, that’s you!” in a sold-out theater.

Texts and calls from friends and family started rolling in and a few months later the commercial aired on TV and remains in regular rotation.

Columbus when a position came open in Newnan in 2008.

Newnan was growing tremendously, so we moved here and then, in 2009, the bottom fell out right as I was leaving my company car and gas card. I left my security and opened a business in a recession.

The funny thing, which wasn’t funny at the time, I had accepted a scratch opportunity, and scratch means zero. I had no clients when I opened this office.

So it went from being the best opportunity to being a scary nightmare. I don’t make light of it. It is by pure determination and support of my family that we’re still here 11 years later.

NCM: How did you navigate those recession years?

Deidre: It was a pounding of pavement, working 10- to 12-hour days. My husband was helping with the children and I was working a ton of hours every day, smiling and dialing, getting out and making connections.

It was a lesson in grit and just saying failure is not an option.

NCM: It’s a great commercial. Where were you raised?

Deidre: I’m a Georgia peach. I was born and raised in Warner Robins.

It’s a really close-knit community. My parents are both teachers and both retired now. That’s where I’m from and that’s who I am.

NCM: What about education?

Keris Bembry's light continues to shine through her family.

Deidre: I attended the University of Georgia where I got my Bachelors of science. I got a Masters in business in 1999, and my first real job was with Geico in Macon. From there, I went to work with State Farm and moved to Atlanta in 2000, and that’s where my insurance career began. I started as a claims representative, was a compliance officer and worked as a trainer.

NCM: How did you transition to becoming an agent?

Deidre: By the time I had been working in corporate America for seven years, I felt the need for freedom and flexibility and to let my work determine my pay. So I started positioning myself to be an agent. We were living in 26 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

Photo submitted by Deidre Bembry

NCM: When did you realize it was going to work?

Deidre: I want to say by 2012. I knew insurance, but I did not know how to be a business owner, and that is a learning curve. You cannot prepare for that leap from being an employee and just doing your job to now you’re the CEO, the CFO, the janitor, the bookkeeper. It’s not that people don’t know how to do what they do. It’s the business end that they have to master.

NCM: You could have moved from Coweta County.

What kept you here?

Deidre: I loved the county because it reminded me of Warner Robins in that it’s big enough, but you can still go to the grocery store and see your neighbor. That was a requirement for me — to have a small-town feel and to be

THE NCM Q&A

able to be an influencer, to make an impact and be invested in the community.

NCM: One of the ways you’ve had an impact is through Keris Kares. Tell us about that.

Deidre: Keris was diagnosed with cancer in November 2013. She was 4 years old and had an inoperable, incurable brain tumor. That froze us. It just rocked our lives. She passed away in 2015. It is so hard to process even five years later.

NCM: Tell us about the community’s support.

Deidre: The outpouring was unbelievable. The community really embraced us. We had no family here.

Our neighbors became our family; this community became our family.

Our lives changed. I remember the doctor saying she has six months to live. And I’m like, “What are you talking about? This child has never had a cold.” The doctor said, “This is like being struck by lightning. You didn’t cause it.

She wasn’t born with it. It just happened.”

The doctors said radiation would give her a better quality of life, a honeymoon period, and then the tumor would come back and death was imminent. My husband and I agreed we were going to do everything possible to extend her life, and that turned into 20 months. Chemo kept the tumor at bay for 13 to 14 months, then in January 2015, it came back. We went to M.D. Anderson in Houston, Texas, for a medical trial, stayed for a month, and it worked. We got back home, Keris was doing well and she graduated kindergarten. But that summer, the tumor came back. We were accepted into another trial in Cincinnati, drove there once a week for six weeks, and then realized the tumor had just picked up too much steam. We stopped treatment, and she passed away peacefully on July 12, 2015.

NCM: In the midst of all that, you had started Keris Kares. How did that come to be?

Deidre: What we were dealing with was mind-blowing — the type of money we were spending, the type of bills we had. My husband lost his job from taking time off. I could come and go as I needed, but what about the person who can’t do that, which is most people? We thought if

we can help them with their household bills, that frees up other money they can put towards fighting cancer with their child.

When you hear your child has cancer, everything stops.

You freeze in space. But as you’re frozen, nothing else stops in your life. Your mortgage company does not care that you have a sick child. Your power company doesn’t care. The reality is that everybody doesn’t have health insurance, a cohesive family or a great community. So what happens to them?

Our true inspiration was Keris. She was a spitfire and very feisty. She was tough, but she was also a typical girl.

She was whimsical. She wanted to be a princess. She liked glitter and the stuff little girls like. When we were in the hospital getting this diagnosis, my child got up and put on a princess costume with the dress, heels and tiara, and I’m like, this is unbelievable. She just got diagnosed with cancer and she is willing herself to still be.

We had our first Royal Run in May 2015, and Keris was grand marshal. From age 4 to 6, because of the cancer, she matured at a different pace and had a keen understanding about her life, about her diagnosis. She knew what Keris Kares was. She knew what we were doing.

Keris Kares had added different platforms and is helping many families, and it’s because of her. It’s like even though she’s not physically here, she is for me.

NCM: And for others.

Deidre: For sure. We’ve helped families in Coweta County, Carroll, Troup and Heard counties, but our outreach goes all over the state of Georgia. People reach out to us monthly to apply for grants to make car payments or pay the rent. We also have an art program – Keris was very creative — where we give art supplies to all elementary schools in Coweta County. The last thing we rolled out was Food for Families where we work with the Ronald McDonald House to stock the pantry for families there. So Keris Kares is three-pronged: the race, art and food.

NCM: It’s not a one-and-done 5K. It’s a year-round nonprofit.

Deidre: Yes. We started with the 5K here, and now we

“I remember the doctor saying she has six months to live. And I’m like, ‘What are you talking about? This child has never had a cold.’”

— Deidre Bembry MAY/JUNE 2020 | 27

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THE NCM Q&A

have a formal gala in August in Macon and another 5K in September in Columbus. We do the run here in May because that’s Keris’ birthday month and Brain Tumor Awareness Month.

NCM: You talk about Keris’ will and grit and tenacity.

What is it you learned from her that you feel parents need to be attuned to learn from their kids?

Deidre: Our kids are wildly intuitive. Sometimes we just need to stop our busy lives and listen to our children. Even down to her diagnosis, Keris told us what was happening.

She said, “I feel like the bones are turning in the back of my head.” And she was 4.

We went to a lot of doctors and she got misdiagnosed, but we kept pushing because this is what she’s verbalizing — and sure enough, she was right. That is an extreme example, but on the simplest level, when our kids are communicating, we need to lean in and not be so busy and distracted that we shut out what they’re telling us. They’re giving us clues, whether it’s them being ill or needing help in school or feeling insecure.

Another thing I learned was that our kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. My daughter went through way more than I ever experienced medically in terms of being poked and prodded, and she did not complain if we included her in the process. Children have a capacity for understanding that sometimes we overlook. So talking to my kids like they’re a part of the conversation is important.

I used to be one of those parents who was just too busy.

I feel like a lot of women feel like that, like their list is already long before they get up in the morning. This was a reminder for me to be plugged in, to never get so busy that you’re not plugged in with your children.

NCM: How do you plug in?

Deidre: For me, it’s doing the simple things — taking the time to ask what was the best part of your day, giving them time to have conversation and not be multitasking at those critical moments when they first get home from school.

That’s when I lean in. When I walk in the door from being in a pressure cooker all day long, I put my phone on the charger. Those phones are our bosses and the boss won’t let up unless you put the boss down for a little while.

NCM: We need to become the boss.

Deidre: We have to become the boss of our own lives again and lean into our families so we can connect with our kids.

NCM: You have great ideas on money management, too.

Please share your insights on family finances.

Deidre: You’ve got to talk about money. And it’s not just talk about it, but you’ve got to be honest about money.

Everybody has a financial pattern and depending on that pattern, it’s either setting you up for success or setting you up with stress. Your relationship with money is based on your upbringing: Did the family talk about money? Did Mom handle finances or did Dad? Did they loop you in or did you start having a relationship with money by default — just kind of ran into it one day, like it was a blind date, and you’re trying to figure it out as you go?

NCM: What a great way to put it.

Deidre: You know what I mean? And I think realizing that, just like in a relationship you are different, you are also different in how you view money. Getting a plan together, staying within a budget and being able to say no are essential. We can’t say yes to everything. Parents don’t want to disappoint their kids, but it’s at any cost. They will pay for all these things and say “We’re sacrificing for our kids,” but does sacrificing mean I’m not going to pay this bill, I’m not going to make sure our obligations are covered? Those aren’t sacrifices. Those are poor choices. They are emotional choices, not sound financial choices.

As parents, we can be so busy that we find ourselves giving into the wants because we can’t give the time, and it ends up putting more stress on the household. A kid’s wants can never be met. I can only speak for the ones in my house, but their wants are endless. As a parent, if you don’t put that in perspective, it can financially create a spiral that never ends and puts the family in jeopardy.

NCM: You’ve said the poor look like they’re rich, and the rich look like they’re poor.

Deidre: Rich people look poor. You can’t pick them out in a crowd. They don’t have on flashy outfits or designer labels. Their money is in the bank. I heard somebody say if you want to know how somebody’s doing, don’t follow them to their car. Follow them to their house because that’s where the story is. Sometimes the car costs more than the house.

It’s not being about appearances but being about goals.

If we’re hitting our goals, that is far more gratifying than somebody complimenting me on a nice outfit because real success, even if you can’t see it outwardly, is the discipline of getting stuff done and being in it long term.

NCM: That is sound financial advice.

Deidre: Thank you, and I mean I had to learn the hard way. We almost lost everything developing the business. I had to learn how to do those things. I had to learn how to deny myself, how to say no to something in order to allow me to say yes later.

MAY/JUNE 2020 | 29

THE NCM Q&A

NCM: And we need to teach our children all these things.

Deidre: Yes, and with honesty and transparency.

NCM: You talk about balance and boundaries. What’s your take on that?

Deidre: As a mom you juggle a lot. I felt like I never had enough time or wasn’t organized enough to figure out how to do everything I was responsible for. I kept hearing people say, “You need to learn balance,” and I thought, “How do you balance stuff?” Because even on a scale, things have to be equal on each side. Well, it’s not.

NCM: Life rarely is.

Deidre: That’s the thing, it rarely is. So in my mind, that made balance something I was chasing that I just couldn’t get to. Then I read a book titled “Boundaries,” and it changed the way I approach my life. Instead of trying to be Superwoman saying “I can do it all,” I started saying, “No thank you. I’m not going to be able to take that on.” And when I started doing that, being okay with saying no, that was big, you know what I mean?

NCM: Oh, yes.

Photo submitted by Deidre Bembry

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

— Romans 8:28, NIV

Deidre: When I started saying no, I would ask myself: Is it a good thing or a great thing?

If it wasn’t a great thing, I did not allot my time, energy or money to it. But if I can’t wait to do more of it, I say yes. Filling your life with things you enjoy, that are in your purpose, creates boundaries so you don’t do things you’re not passionate about. We can’t be everything to everybody. The sooner we learn this as women, we’re able to live and enjoy our lives better.

NCM: We’ve been taught we can be everything, but it’s a lie that sets us up for defeat.

Deidre: Yes. For me, being a mom of all girls, I don’t want them to see me running around constantly too tired to be available for them, the most important people.

NCM: When did you have this epiphany?

Deidre: Definitely after losing Keris. It was devastating, but what it also did was give me clarity about my time. Oh my gosh, the time

30 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

THE NCM Q&A

clarity I got from going through that, it just said to me, your time is finite, period. This is all you get, and sometimes there’s a twist and what you think you have can change. I’m very picky and choosy about what goes in my day, and that’s where those boundaries come in.

NCM: Tell us about your faith.

Deidre: I’m a Christian, I’m a believer. I couldn’t have survived what we experienced as a couple, as a mother, without my faith. That carried me through this, even as we’re rebuilding our lives, to still be a believer, to still be hopeful, to still know that it’s working for our good.

NCM: Romans 8:28.

Deidre: Yes, I believe that. I don’t know how all of this ends, but I trust God that it ends well. I believe that.

NCM: Amen.

Deidre: Amen.

NCM

Left Page: Deidre and Trey Bembry celebrate the life of their second daughter, Keris, whose image shines on a blanket, with their daughters, from left, Denver, Ashlyn and Nova.

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Sharp Moves Dance like no one’s looking Written By JENNY ENDERLIN • Photographed by SARA MOORE

Celebrating a trophy win are Sharpsburg Dance Academy students, from left, front: Addison Kramer and Evie Hulsey. Middle: Ella Busby, Macy Waddell, Rihana Mursalim, Madison Mosier, Lindsey Flounnory and Jordan Smith. Back: Lilly Waddell, Tara Cranston, Isabella Phillips, Emily Shride, Megan Hammond, Sidney Brown and Molly Waddell.

A From left, Co-owner Caren Sharp, Office Manager Kristi Waddell and Co-owner Abba Parrott invite students to dream, dance and inspire at Sharpsburg Dance Academy.

32 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

t Sharpsburg Dance Academy, the emphasis is on personal growth versus winning, though you may not know it from the numerous trophies on display.

Co-owner, choreographer and dance instructor Abba Parrott stresses the importance of loving oneself and believes in fostering an environment where everyone feels welcomed, loved and accepted.

“People are excited when they go somewhere where they are wanted,” says Parrott.

More than 200 students are enrolled at her academy, and many end up spending most evenings at the studio after they’ve become immersed in dance.

“We knew nothing about dance. We’re a soccer family, and that’s the complete opposite of dance,” recalls dance mom Chelsey Shride.

CLOSER LOOK Everything changed when her daughter Emily, now on stage. Sidney, however, never showed an ounce of fear.

13, started kindergarten and a fellow student raved about Confidence-building is a common benefit all the dance Sharpsburg Dance Academy. Emily begged to go until her parents say they’ve witnessed. When Emily first started mother finally said, “Okay, we’ll try it.” dancing at age 6, she was so shy she could hardly look For a time, Emily did both soccer and dance. at people when they spoke to her. Now, she is far more “She was 8 and was doing soccer for us and dance for outgoing and reveals, “I feel like myself on stage.” herself,” remembers Chelsey.

Dance mom Kristi One day during a game, Waddell has three the opposing team was daughters on the dance able to score a goal because team and feels the activity Emily was busy twirling has brought them all out of in the goalie box. At that their shells and provided point, her mom recalls them with a new range of thinking, “Okay, I’ve got abilities. it. She’s a dancer and that’s “I’ve seen how being what she wants to do.” part of the team has After the soccer season taught them responsibility ended, Emily devoted and keeping their herself fully to dance and commitments,” says Kristi, neither she nor her mother whose two oldest daughters ever looked back. now teach classes to the “If I’m having a bad day, next generation of dancers.

I look forward to coming Kristi says she takes delight to dance and dancing it in watching her daughters all off,” Emily says with a push themselves and Dancers at the academy practice their routines. smile. develop a solid work ethic.

When she was 7 “I feel like the life years old, Julie Kramer’s lessons learned through dance are invaluable,” she reflects. daughter Addison was by far the youngest member of the Sidney says she feels she’s learned good sportsmanship, competitive dance team. She loves dancing for the sheer joy how to be humble, and that improv dance has taught her of it, according to her mom. how to think on her feet.

“She dances everywhere she goes — at the grocery store, Emily, who doesn’t have siblings, has an incredible Belk, school,” Julie says. bond with her teammates. “I feel they’re my real biological Parents of the teenage dancers say that never changes; sisters,” she says. Her mom has observed that dance has only as their girls get older, they start looking around first taught Emily to work hard even when it does not come to see if anyone is watching. easily and notes that her daughter diligently stretches every For Rita Davis-Brown, what gives her pleasure is the night before bed. thrill of watching her daughter Sidney do something she “It’s even helped with school,” says Julie, noting that loves, something Rita wishes she could have participated in dance lessons have helped her daughter learn how to focus when she was growing up. more in the classroom.

“We just couldn’t afford it,” says Rita. “I didn’t ask my For parents who are on the fence as to whether to put parents for anything that required money.” their children in dance, Parrott encourages trying a session Now 12 years old, Sidney has been performing with the of summer camp. studio for 10 years. She’s the longest standing member of “I don’t think we realize how much stress kids are under the competitive dance team and enjoys jazz, tap, ballet, to perform in school,” says the dance instructor. “The arts contemporary, lyrical, and hip-hop. Her favorite aspects of are really important because it gives kids the chance to be dance are meeting new people outside of school and having creative and we sometimes miss that. Dance is just a great the opportunity to compete. outlet for kids. It builds confidence. It creates friendships.

When Sidney recently danced a solo performance that won second place at the Masquerade Dance Competition, It also teaches life lessons that you can carry on even if you Rita says her heart pounded every second her daughter was don’t pursue dance long term.” NCM MAY/JUNE 2020 | 33

NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT: Hope Youth Center

Playing Ball & Pitching Hope The Verona Rosser Hope Youth Center is a place for both Written by JEFFREY WARD • Photographed by SARA MOORE

S

omething special is happening in the epicenter of the Chalk Level neighborhood in southeast Newnan.

An oasis for neighborhood children has been resurrected under the name of its original founder, Verona Rosser. Now, the Verona Rosser Hope Youth Center once again welcomes children to play, learn and grow in a safe and fun environment.

Rosser was a stalwart community leader in her predominantly black community who, at the age most people retire, founded the Chalk Level Head Start after-school program in a facility the City of Newnan built for that purpose. Rosser died in 1985 at close to 100 years old. The facility that she first helmed had stood vacant since then— until the vision of Lee Ayers took hold.

Managed by The Hope Global Initiative, A Community Development Corporation, Hope Youth Center gained its 501(c)(3) nonprofit status in January 2019 and officially reopened with a gala Super Bowl party the following February.

Ayers says he saw the need for a community center at Chalk Level while serving as a church pastor and sports chaplain at East Coweta High School. When he drove athletes home after practice, he noticed need in the neighborhood and felt a calling to meet that need.

Ayers has made the Chalk Level community his home away from home for the past six years — building Hope Youth Center CEO Lee Ayers helps children hone trust by becoming entrenched in their computer skills, from left, Ayers, Jararian Anderson, the neighborhood. He’s led yard Chari Anderson, Mya Hall and Katelinn Anderson.

34 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT: Hope Youth Center

From left, back, Luke Ayers and his father, Lee, take a quick break from basketball with Hope Youth Center kids, from left, Jamere Payton, Jacorrie Payton, Sidarious Arnold, Gerald Beatles and Josh Haynes. In the portrait is Verona Rosser, the community icon for whom the Youth Center is named.

“We’re here for the long haul.”

— Luke Ayers MAY/JUNE 2020 | 35

NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT: Hope Youth Center

“The more adults, high school or college students who help, the quicker the center will create a lasting impact.”

— Luke Ayers

There's always a basketball enticing kids to shoot hoops at Hope Youth Center.

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cleanups, home repair projects and neighborhood events. Being seen working in the community helped counter the initial skepticism some residents felt, according to Ayers.

Ayers’ son Luke works at the center in a fundraising capacity, although he does anything else that needs to be done. When a mother visiting the center asked, “When are you closing down?” Luke responded, “We plan to be here until your son is through college.”

“We’re here for the long haul,” Lee added.

As nondescript as the exterior of the Youth Center is, the interior has been painstakingly renovated to the point where it’s a total and delightful surprise to visitors. There’s a spacious gathering room replete with a sound stage, foosball and ping-pong tables, video games, an enormous flat screen TV and 24-hour exterior/interior video security cameras.

Another room houses the art education center and another boasts a row of computer workstations available for all the youth to use.

Lee had the presence of mind to install a small kitchen and says with emphasis, “All the food here is free. I don’t want to see any kid not have the money to pay for a snack.”

Even when Hope Youth Center is closed, the outdoor basketball court

NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT: Hope Youth Center connected to the building is almost always open and occupied. Like iron filings to a magnet, neighborhood youth come there to meet up with friends, test their skills on the court, and choose up teams.

No basketball? No problem, because Lee conveniently “hides” one in plain sight so nobody goes home without playing.

Another Hope Youth Center favorite for the kids is playing dodgeball. When it’s announced, kids head outside instantly, according to Lee. With official equipment and rules in place, the games are hotly competitive.

After leading the center for almost a year and a half, Lee says his team has learned a lot.

“We found out early on we needed to provide a little more organized structure,” he says. “We get a feel for the

kids when they’re getting a little off the chain, when they’re getting a little too much freedom running and cutting up.

You know, we don’t like telling them ‘Don’t do this’ or ‘Don’t do that.’”

So, Luke organizes silly games like having them drink something with weird flavoring and trying to guess what’s in it.

Sometimes there’s a dance contest or an open mic rap contest.

“Anything to give them 20 minutes of directed fun,” says Lee. Hope Youth Center regulars Kristian, 13, and Gregory, 10, are eager to sing the praises of the new community center.

“We’re here about three to four hours a day every day they’re open,” says Kristian.

“Without this place we’d be bored and, besides, it’s fun to hang out in a place that’s safe and secure with friends,” says Gregory.

They would probably stay longer, but like many young people in Chalk Level, they need to be home to babysit younger siblings.

Lee says the work to expand Hope Youth Center— and to continue providing hope to children through dedicated activities led by caring adults— is ongoing.

“We really want peoples’ help creating a safe environment,” he says. “We need help because all of the kids who come here are underserved. We literally need hands and feet and especially the right heart to serve the underprivileged.”

The more adults, high school or college students who help, the quicker the center will create a lasting impact, according to Lee. according to Lee. “And we are not going anywhere,” he concludes. NCM

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May-June Gardening Tips From Coweta MGEVs’ 2020 Calendar MAY •

Plant summer-blooming bulbs; bulbs need warm soils that are at least 70 degrees.

•

Select pollinator plants and native plants which attract butterflies and bees.

•

Water as needed according to county guidelines; provide at least one inch of water per week during dry period; use drip or soaker hose rather than watering overhead; vegetables in raised beds may need water two to three times per week for moisture to penetrate the soil four to five inches down.

•

Manage weeds while they are young by cultivation and mulching.

•

Harmful insects become more active during warm weather — but not all insects are bad; become familiar with the good and the bad, and leave the good ones alone.

JUNE •

Harvest vegetables as early as possible.

•

Big green caterpillars on parsley and fennel will become butterflies; try not to kill them.

•

Replenish the mulch in your vegetable garden.

•

Plant a “trap crop” (sunflowers, sorghum) to attract leaf footed bugs away from tomatoes.

•

Use organic options to control insects that are harming vegetables.

•

Continue to deadhead annual flowers to encourage production of more flowers.

•

Azaleas and big-leaf hydrangeas can be pruned now without harming next year’s blooms.

•

Prune back full chrysanthemums to encourage bushier growth.

38 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

COWETA GARDEN

How’s Your Garden Growing?

If in doubt, call a Coweta Master Gardener Written by DALE SENKO, Coweta County MGEV Photographs courtesy of Coweta County MGEVs

I

f you take a walk around Newnan’s Courthouse during Saturday Market Days, you may hear a booming voice asking, “How’s your garden doing?”

That voice belongs to Master Gardener Extension Volunteer (MGEV) Harley Stewart, a lifelong Coweta resident who is always ready to help solve home gardening problems.

Stewart leads a team of Coweta County MGEVs for the Ask the Coweta MGEV booth and welcomes visitor questions from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Market Days, typically held the first Saturday of each month, April-December.

“Talking with our community neighbors is a two-way street,” says Stewart. “We learn from the gardening experiences of the clients we meet at the booth, and we share information with them.”

At the Ask the MGEV booth, master gardeners share the latest UGA horticultural research and provide free publications on plant care and problems, drought and insect infestations. One of the most commonly asked questions is, “How can I get rid of fire ants?” Stewart advises: “Absent the use of a thermonuclear device, just kidding, use recommended ant treatment products. Periodic applications of fire ant baits will suppress ants about 90 percent when properly applied.”

A UGA guide that’s helpful is “Managing Imported Fire Ants in Urban Areas, Bulletin 1191,” a free publication found online at extension.uga.edu. Publications like this are given away at the Ask the MGEV booth.

A home gardener doesn’t have to wait for Market Day to ask for gardening advice. Coweta MGEVs operate a Help Desk at the

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Coweta County Master Gardener Extension Volunteer Harley Stewart mans the Ask the Coweta MGEV booth at Saturday Market Day in Newnan.

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770.683.7224 Extension office that is manned most days during office hours. They take phone calls and also talk to clients as they come into the office.

One important topic of conversation is the importance of taking soil samples. Help Desk volunteers contact people who send in soil samples to the UGA lab to make sure they understand their report and its recommendations.

During the Coronavirus crisis, while most of Coweta was at home, many took advantage of the time to plant vegetable gardens, flowers, shrubs and trees. The MGEVs volunteered from home to keep the Help Desk going by covering phone calls, logging questions, answering emails and giving advice.

Clients contact the Extension office for a variety of reasons, and MGEVs take on the role of plant detective. Often there’s a weed they can’t identify.

Sometimes they have a sick plant and need help to save it. Sometimes people bring in sprigs of plants to identify. Or it may be a pesky insect bothering a plant. Usually MGEVs can identify the plant or insect, but occasionally they have to call on the experts at UGA. Often a problem can be diagnosed through emails that include photos of the affected plants. NCM

MGEV Facts: In Georgia, there were 2,330 active MGEV volunteers in 2019 who logged 179,788 volunteer service hours.

Coweta has 93 MGEVs. Research-based free publications are available at http://ugaextension.org/coweta.

For help with plant problems, coweta.extension@uga.edu or call them at 770.254.2620.

Coweta County’s most interesting people, places and things are found

Here.

HOW TO ADVERTISE

If you would like information about how to advertise your business, call 770.253.1576 or email to advertising@newnan.com.

MAY/JUNE 2020 | 39

COWETA KIDS CARE

Spreading Smiles Written by SUSAN MAYER DAVIS

B

ella Grace Parker, a student ambassador with Smile Train, brings smiles to others — literally, as well as figuratively.

The daughter of Dianne and Ken Parker of Newnan, Bella Grace raises money and awareness for Smile Train, an international nonprofit that provides free surgery in 85 countries for people with a cleft lip or palate.

The organization trains and empowers local doctors to provide the no-cost surgeries to those in need.

A junior at Newnan High School, Bella Grace has completed more than 150 service hours with the Newnan Ambassadors. Also a member of the Student Government Association and National Honor Society, with which she volunteers, she says her heart is with Smile Train for personal reasons.

Bella Grace and two of her four siblings were adopted from China when they were young.

Her brother Max, born with a cleft lip/palate, underwent corrective surgery when he was four months old. The procedure improved his ability to eat, breathe and, as he grew older, to pronounce words.

Bella Grace has raised close to $3,000 for the organization that delivers the same type of lifechanging surgery that helped her brother. To raise funds, she presents activities to educate her fellow students, faculty and the public about the urgent needs Smile Train fulfills.

More than 1.5 million people have benefited from free surgeries from Smile Train, according to Bella Grace.

“Each patient is offered free follow-up services, including dental, emotional and speech therapy, too,” she says.

After graduation, Bella Grace plans to attend a private college with strong pre-health and science programs. She says she also plans to continue her commitment to community outreach in order to prepare for a life of service.

NCM

40 | WWW.NEWNANCOWETAMAGAZINE.COM

Bella Grace, 17, shares ice cream with her little brother, Max, 9, the inspiration for her volunteer service with Smile Train, a nonprofit that provides free surgeries for those with a cleft lip and/or palate.

Submitted Photo

“Each patient is offered free follow-up services, including dental, emotional and speech therapy, too.”

— Bella Grace Parker

Nominate a Coweta kid who cares by writing to magazine@newnan.com

ALL ROADS LEAD TO COWETA

Blacktop

EXPERIENCE DOWNTOWN NEWNAN visit our website for event schedule & business listings

WWW.MAINSTREETNEWNAN.COM

Photo by Emma Cofield

Reba the dog and her hum an, son of Rachel Williams, lov 1-year-old Benjamin Forsyth, e to stand on the couch and the world go by, according watch to their photographer.

Photo by Mirela Jenkins wnan, enjoy Tab and Mirela Jenkins, of Ne k, in Jackson, Par te Sta l Fal h Hig at g campin Melanie and s, die bud g pin where their cam pictured are , bus um Col of ans Me Danny here hiking.

Email us your photos of life in and around Coweta County and we may choose yours for a future edition of Blacktop! magazine@newnan.com MAY/JUNE 2020 | 41

THE WRAP-UP/TOBY NIX

‘My phone still ain’t ringing’

I

have, at the time of this writing, 43 years of experience in being someone’s child and 19 years of being someone’s parent. I think that makes me an expert on the matter of childrearing, even if it means a self-appointed expert.

As a parent, I’ve learned that at least some old sayings are true, especially, “Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in a while.” I find truth in this by confidently saying my wife and I have raised two amazing children even though we’ve had absolutely no idea what we were doing most of the time.

Butch Walker had a line in one of his songs, “Maybe he’ll grow up to be a man, unlike his daddy did.” I know that I tend to be harder on myself than I should, but I’ve always loved that line. I’ve thought of it often in regard to my son. I don’t want him to ever aspire to follow in my footsteps as I know he would be grossly limiting his potential by doing so. If he so chooses, he could blaze a trail miles ahead of wherever my last footstep may land.

The same goes for my daughter. The world is her oyster. She has already accomplished more in her schooling than both her mother or I could have ever dreamed. And she actually likes going to school, which tells me that is one gene that must skip a generation.

I could fill the pages of this magazine with the many mistakes I made as a father.

I dwell on those, whether I want to or not. I think if you ask any parent to tell you Toby Nix is a local writer who one memory they works in law enforcement. have of their children growing up, they would talk about something they wish they had done differently.

Years ago, we had friends over at the house. My son was in his early teens and into video games. He wanted to play a video game in the living room where everyone was congregating. I told him, “No one wants to watch you play a game, man.”

That wasn’t the most horrific thing to ever happen to a kid, but I do remember the look on his face after I said that. I had hurt his feelings and embarrassed him in front of company. The fact that probably no one

42 | WWW.NEWNAN.COM

wanted to watch him play video games has done little to erase the image of his disappointed face from my memory.

I have done many things right over the years, but those aren’t what I remember. I remember the look on his face from that night. If he even remembers, I’m sure he forgave me long ago. That makes one of us.

The good part about making mistakes as a parent is that you might get to go back and correct them as a grandparent, someday.

My children were blessed to have the perfect grandparents. My parents were able to come to every school function my kids (and nephews and nieces) ever had. My kids got every book they ever wanted from every book fair. When my parents went to have lunch with them at school, my father bought ice cream for the entire class.

Any bad thing I remember my father doing when I was a kid was erased by watching him as a grandparent.

I lost my father on January 20. He went to sleep the night before with plans of getting a haircut the next day and never woke up. I lost my mother, just as suddenly and unexpectedly, on March 13. She went into cardiac arrest in the middle of a sentence.

It was a shock to us, and it still hurts just as badly as it did on those two unfortunate days. I find myself going through the motions a lot lately. The lights are on, proverbially, as I make my way throughout the day, but there’s not always someone at home.

You hear people say, “Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him (or her).” It’s true. I know for a fact it is. I didn’t always believe that until it was me doing the daily thinking. I would even go so far as to say not an hour goes by that I don’t think of them.

When my daughter was named seventh grade queen at her school recently, my immediate thought was to call my parents and tell them. That’s what I was conditioned to do. They loved to brag about their grandchildren. Only this time, they weren’t there for me to call.

They also haven’t been here to call me or my wife and kids. One of them would usually call several times a week to keep up on current affairs. To borrow a line from Randy Travis, since my phone still ain’t ringing, I assume it still ain’t them. Sad but true.

Of all the things I’ve been called in my life, being called “Father” is definitely the greatest. But being called “Son” is a very close second. Or, I guess, was a close second. NCM

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