The Little Body Factory, volume 1: The Fart Factory

The Fart Factory

Written and drawn by big T og little t Publishing house The Little Body Factory

The Fart Factory

The Fart Factory

Written and drawn by big T og little t Copyright 2008 Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen, Thomas Thingstrup og Anette Thingstrup Første udgave. 1. oplag Typografisk tilrettelægninig: Tommy Linnebjerg Bærentzen Trykt hos xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Printed in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 2009

“Ooophh... make way, pheeewww..., mind your backs’ squeaked a voice from the intestines next to the Little Body Factory. “Move over, move over” said the voice of the wheezing fart salesman, Phister, who was running up through the stomach and into the door of the Little Body Factory.

“Didn’t I say that I didn’t want to be disturbed” hissed the director.

“Sophie has just placed an order for a massive fart and it has to be delivered immediately” , shouted the excited fart seller as he burst into the Director’s office waving the order in his hand.

The Director gave Phister an annoyed and angry look. He had just spent lots of money on a smart new machine that makes the popular bath farts with extra bubbles and built in sound effects, and now Sophie has ordered an ordinary fart instead.

But Phister didn’t intend to let the director spoil his excitement, as he told him about the giant fart that Sophie had ordered.

“This one is huge and she wants it really loud and with a really bad smell” he said. “She wants it so big so that she can break it up into small farts or let it out in one gigantic explosion” .

Sophie isn’t really into farting. She gets very embarrassed if one slips out.

Especially like now, as she sits eating her fruit with the other children in her class at story time. All the children are as quiet as mice as their teacher, Miss Prissy, is reading the class a very exciting story from the big book.

Sophie would feel different if she was with her best friend at home or alone in her bedroom, then she ďŹ nds it terribly funny to see who can drop the best fart.

Especially when some of the farts smell

really disgusting.

Bla... bla... bla...

Bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla...

Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla...

Bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla...

Bla... bla... bla... Bla... bla... bla...

Bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla... bla...bla...

“Blah blah blah... ” reads the teacher.

However, now Sophie isn’t alone in her room.

Last night she had cauliflower cheese for dinner. Sophie hates cauliflower, but her Mum made her eat two big portions by promising her ice cream floating in cola for her pudding, and that’s Sophie’s favourite.

The cauliflower has made Sophie’s tummy all swollen and tight and she needs to let out some pressure with a good fart. Now her tummy is starting to demand release.

Sophie is relieved that she has ordered one of the Fart Factory’s specialities, a fart that can be released in several smaller, more discreet little baby farts that no-one can hear.

Sophie doesn’t realise just how busy her order has made the workers in the Little Body Factory, where Fart & Co have their ‘Gas, Gasp and Blast’ production line. The Director himself is supervising the making of Sophie’s extraordinary fart. He is telling the fart inflators that it is very important that Sophie gets the most magnificent fart ever, so that she will order yet more farts and ones from his new machine.

The Director made a bit of a mistake telling them that. It’s the fart inflators that give the farts that really disgusting stink. They have the most terrible bad breath you can imagine, which they use to fill each fart by blowing through specially designed straws.

The Director collapsed on the floor when the fart inflators shouted

“We understand” all at the same time.

Sophie loves all the different noises that farts make, but only when she is alone. However she has no idea how all the noises are made.

In the biggest toilet in the Little Fart Factory, where great noises are made, is Fart & Co’s secret room.

In there all the different special farting noises are made.

The Director is very proud of the fact that no two farts ever sound the same.

Sophie can be very sure that no-one else’s farts are ever the same as each one of hers.

The noise and pressure of the fart is released when the invisible balloon that contains the fart is popped.

You might think that making farts is a really horrible job, but it just isn’t true, at least the fart inflators don’t think so. No-one has ever heard them complain, not even when the disgusting stinky Stilton cheese they eat for lunch is delivered, and not even when they eat it.

The special fart that Sophie has ordered can be divided into ten smaller farts that smell of a mild Cheddar cheese, and only Sophie will be able to smell them.

One time she had been given a fart that sounded like a car backfiring. It was difficult to make as it came with skid marks built in too. Sophie prefers quiet farts.

The special fart machine catches the stink and the ‘phrupppp’ sound, then pipes it into an invisible balloon ready for delivery. No-one knows how the machine works except the Director himself, and he says it’s a secret.

Sophie’s fart is now finished and can be very, very carefully rolled down to her bottom, where it will wait ready to be let loose to slip out. It’s a really special fart, with a noise as disgusting as its smell. All the Fart Factory workers are very proud of it.

They have agreed to release it during Sophie’s story time.

Sophie can feel the fart pressing to come out, but it feels like it is stuck.

“That’s weird” she thought.

Down in the Fart Factory’s intestine passage there is big trouble. Even the fart inflators are down below in the passage to help. The fart is too big to squeeze out.

The Fact Factory has never failed to deliver before. So all the fart workers have been called to help push the fart out.

Suddenly the fart flies out!

Only when the Director himself helped to push, and everyone pushed as hard as they could, was the fart finally pushed through the door and out of a very impatient Sophie.

When the fart was half way through the door it burst out, making a massive

‘RRRRIIIIPPPPPP’ .

‘RRRRIIIPPPPP’ came from the big storybook as the teacher flipped quickly through the pages and slammed the book shut.

.P’ P P P PP I I II R R ‘RR

“That’s the end of today’s story, and now I have to open the window, as I think someone brought an over-ripe Stilton to school today” , said Miss Prissy.

“Ewwwww, what a stinker” she said with tears in her eyes. “That’s a really mature old Stilton” .

Sophie is annoyed with herself as the fart was so very loud and she had asked for a silent multiple release fart.

But she is secretly very pleased as her fart was such a fine Stilton.

stinking

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Are you ready for some fun exploration?

Get in your car and drive into your mouth. After a few centimetres take the passage to the right-that way you will avoid your dinner from yesterday. Keep going past your lungs past your heart and into your stomach.

Here you’ll find the Little Body Factory.

It is difficult to hear and feel the Little Body Factory.

But if you listen carefully, you can hear the sounds from all the workers who are busy shaping new bogeys or refilling tear bottles, baking scabs, editing dreams, putting bruises on sore knees or one of other fantastic things that your body does.

If you do see the Little Body Factory, then be quiet and don’t tell anyone... ...otherwise the workers may be too distracted to deliver a really good fart with a funny noise.

Publishing house The Little Body Factory