55210307-AFTER-THE-STORM…-I-SURVIVED

AFTER THE STORM… I SURVIVED! Copyright © 2008

by Burnette Parker All rights reserved.

Edited by Mrs. Wanda Burnside & Min. Mary D. Edwards of The Called and Ready Writers Printed in the USA

by InstantPublisher.com Page Layout and Cover Design

by Shannon Crowley of Treasure Image & Publishing

Burnette Parker P.O. Box 10375 Detroit MI, 48210 burnetteparker@sbcglobal.net

Endorsements As I edited Burnette Parker’s book, I couldn’t help but see the similarities in our lives. The adversary wanted to shut her mouth and keep it shut but God said, “No.” Because she obeyed, and choose to tell, she can now rejoice. Her story has gone from “Mum’s the Word,” to “Mom’s the Word.” And the buck stops here. Her faith has broken generational patterns. Not only is she free, but so is her seed.

Minister Mary Edwards, Founder, The Called and Ready Writers. Author, Born Grown

Burnette Parker is a dynamic woman of God. She is a rare but precious jewel, and great mother and loving grandmother. Burnette has conquered life's many pitfalls.

Her book speaks about ongoing episodes of abuse from child abuse to drug abuse, and from physical to mental abuse, which led to self abuse. Through it all, she gained what most people have never obtained, which is an inner peace from within.

Carolyn McMurrian, A close friend

Dedications

“I SURVIVED� is dedicated to my five children: Latisha, Terrance, Dayleisha, David and Brian.

To my sisters and brothers.

Most of all, this book is dedicated to Jesus Christ who is the head of my life. Thank you Jesus for giving me the wisdom to write this book for Your glory. Lord, I ask You to teach us how to forgive the ones who caused the scars in our lives. Lord, You have truly revealed Yourself to me in my life. I Love You!

Acknowledgements Aunt Deborah, I sincerely appreciate and love you for all of your love and encouraging words. Thanks for taking care of my mother (your sister) in her passing to be with the Lord. You made sure that she accepted Christ in her life. Although you lived in New Jersey, you left your home and came to Detroit to take care of my mother. Your strength for family has been noticed and deeply appreciated. May God continue to bless you.

To a dear friend Joel Bullock. You have been like the father I never had. You gave me good advice. You shared your wisdom. You talked to me about life challenges and how to handle them. You taught me and guided me. I love you for depositing positive force into my life. Thank you very much.

To my spiritual friend, Detric Polk, a true blessing. I thank God for you. You came into my life for such a time as this. You’re uplifting, fun to be around, and easy to talk to. You have sowed into my life in many ways. I thank you from my heart.

Sherrie Jones, you are a special kind of friend. You are very motivating. Thank you for all your smiles and wise words of wisdom.

My life-long friend, Carolyn McMurrian. You are one of a kind. Thank you for your spiritual guidance. I love you. We have many, many years of friendship, but you’re not just a friend, you are my “God-sent sister.”

We have been through ups and downs in this life and we

are still holding hands. You inspire me. You can make me laugh, cry and smile, all at the same time. You’re a wonderful woman of God. May the Lord bless you.

Thank you for your listening ears, your kind heart, but most of all, for keeping it real.

I found an article in The Michigan Chronicle about The Called and Ready Writers of Detroit, Michigan. Mrs. Wanda Burnside is the president of the guild. Minister Mary D. Edwards is the founder and the editor of this book. Mrs. Burnside is truly a blessing from God. Thanks for bridging the gap between my nightmares and my dreams. I appreciate the time well spent walking me through my book. Thank you for enlightening, encouraging, and for helping me. You are my mentor. I love you.

To my biological father, Roy Eaddy, whom I had the opportunity to meet when I was 27.Thank you for not forgetting about me. Thank you for continuing our long distance relationship by your phone calls. This means a lot to me. I love you.

Mrs. Helen, my next-door neighbor, thank you for all your advice. I appreciate our conversations when my mother went to be with the Lord. I thought I would never experience motherly love again. You surrounded me with truth, love and wisdom, like my mother did. I love you. You are a very strong woman with a sense of humor. May the Lord bless you.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

In Loving Memory of My Mother

Sarah Lee Parker Thank you for all of the wonderful light that you gave me in my life. I love you so much. For all the times that you made me laugh and for all the lessons you taught me.

The hardest thing for me in letting you go is that there is no one else who could truly love me like you did. I appreciate everything you did for me.

As an adult, I had no idea I would still need you so much.

I miss you! You are one of the reasons I keep pushing, trying to keep the peace within the family, and staying strong for my children.

I watched you sew throughout the summer and make quilts for all of us for the winter. I watched you plant, grow food and can it in jars. You stored up for the winter. You clipped coupons to save money at the market. I learned how in one season to prepare for the next. You gathered and gathered for the household. I don’t remember going without.

You were that example of a Virtuous Woman!

This book is one of exposure telling about the things you don’t talk about. I decided to share with the world how God delivered me from the traps of the enemy. As you read this book, walk through the valley with me see how God’s hands are in the midst of the mess. You must know that God has the first and last word for your life.

Table of Contents Mum’s the Word

My Savior and I

17 18 20 22 25 29 32 35 38 40 43 46 48 50 53

To the Reader…

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Chapter One

What’s Inside

Chapter Two

Streets of Hell: It’s Me, but It’s Not Me Chapter Three

Door Mat

Chapter Four

Seeds of Generation Chapter Five

Un-equally Yoked Chapter Six

Freedom from the Rain of Tears Chapter Seven Chapter Eight

Mum’s the Word Hush, hush, little girl What will you say?

Shamed, afraid, unsure!

Who will you tell anyway?

Hiding, crying, dying all inside Does momma know What daddy does to you?

Just eight years old A lot to view But, don’t understand what to do!

Running, ducking and scared Here he comes To touch my body!

Now I’m numb.

Can’t say a word!

Feel so dumb.

Mum’s the word.

Oh God, help me!

Nowhere to run.

Momma depends on him, To take care of us.

So, I have to stay In all this mess and stuff.

Now my mess is my message For all little girls.

You have a voice So open your mouth!

Let out a shout!

Tell someone to save you, And bring you out!

I

S u r v i v e d !

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C h a p t e r

O n e

Mum’s the Word When I was about seven or eight years old, I was sexually molested by my father. That’s also when I found out he was not my real father. He told me what he was doing was okay because he was my stepfather. His abuse consisted of touching me, exposing himself to me, and talking about sexual things.

My stepfather was very manipulative. He knew when to make his moves. The right time for him was when my mother was passed out asleep from drinking. I believe he started her to drinking. He was a very tall man, about sixfeet-five. I thought he was a giant. His sexual acts started with my older sister. More than once I heard him bothering her at night. Nothing was done about that. So, at a young age, I had to protect my own body.

When my mother went shopping or left home, I knew it was time to hide. However, most of the fondling was done right under her nose. When she was in the kitchen cooking, he pretended he had lost something. He called me to come and find things. When I got there, he was exposed and would pull me close to him. He put his tongue in my mouth and squeezed me tightly. I would push him away and run or be numb and cry. Another incident was when he would have me scratch his head while he ran his hands up and down my legs.

There were other tricks he had. He would come home from work after midnight, wake me up, and ask, “Who did the dishes?” When I told him I did, he would say “Come downstairs and look at these dirty dishes.”

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A f t e r

t h e

S t o r m . . .

Finding something wrong with the dishes was his way of getting me downstairs and putting fear in me by yelling.

Then he would touch me the wrong way and I would be too scared to scream or move. Barely able to speak, I managed to utter, “I’m going to tell momma.” He responded by saying, “What can she do? I’ll kill her. She can’t do nothing.” Since nothing was done about my older sister, I believed him. I think my mother knew but choose not to face it. I tried to think of ways to hurt him.

But I was too little.

As I began to get older, my body started developing into a young woman. I was uncomfortable with myself. I felt my body was violated so it made me feel ashamed.

He often grabbed me…touching and squeezing. I hated him for that.

My mother never worked much so he took care of us.

She depended on him. I was not physically raped, but he stole my childhood and filled it with fear and distrust.

I was raised in Detroit, but born in South Carolina.

So, I didn’t have many relatives nearby. I felt there was nowhere to run. My mother never left him, so I had to survive the abuse.

I never told anyone, because I was ashamed and afraid. I wanted my mother to leave him, but she handle it the best why she knew how. I was not mad at her for what he had done to me. Jesus teaches us to forgive.

I

S u r v i v e d !

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