Trifecta Magazine Issue 8: Fall 2015 by Trifecta Magazine

Fall 2015

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Calgary's Well-Being and Mindful Living Magazine

KAREN JUDGE

CAN YOU REALLY BE HAPPY? CHERYLE COTE

WHAT BLOCKS OUR HAPPINESS? YASINA BHANJI

FINDING YOUR HAPPINESS RAMONA REMESAT

CHOOSE HAPPINESS

3 Simple Strategies to Turn Frowns Upside Down KELLY FALARDEAU

TAKING THE “T” OUT OF CAN’T tri·fec·ta

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achieving optimal results involving three aspects of health: Mind, Body and Soul.

contributors

By Yasina Bhanji

The Most Understated Habits of Highly-Productive People

By Abe Brown

The Key to Being Happy Within

By Eileen Head

Can you really be happy?

By Karen Judge

Choose Happiness: 3 Simple Strategies to Turn Frowns Upside Down

By Ramona Remesat

Garden Trends: Gearing Up to Gear Down

By Joanne Dafoe

Wisdom from Akashic Records: Happiness

Understanding Inflammation

Taking the "T" Out of Can't

Healthy Eating on the Go - No Sandwiches

What Blocks Our Happiness?

Karen Judge, Mind Health Specialist, talks openly about happiness and explains why achieving this state of feeling good can sometimes be a challenge. Karen's insight can help you understand that life is a journey and requires a road map to ensure you get to where you hope to go.

Trifecta Magazine focuses on three aspects of health; Mind, Body and Soul. Achieving optimal results in these three areas is considered a perfect balance or trifecta, hence the name of this publication â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Trifecta. Inspiring well-being and mindful living through community connection right here in Calgary, Trifecta Magazine provides a channel for community members to both share and learn from each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s experiences in a solution-based forum of expression. Trifecta Magazine attracts readers, writers and advertisers with a desire for betterment and provides exposure to the many types of therapies, products and practitioners throughout Calgary and surrounding areas that can help people advance on their personal journeys.

Finding Your Happiness

By Christy Lowrance

By Dr. Alma Nenshi, Registered Chiropractor

By Kelly Falardeau

By Laura Principe

By Cheryle Cote

Laugh - it increases your face value!

From Fear to Joyfulness through Buddhist Meditation

Made Foods: Serving Nutritious and Delicious Meals-to-Go

By Serena Kolodka

By Susan Bixby

By Melanie Darbyshire

Live Local, Give Local

By Alison Lapczuk

If I should die before I wake...

We hope you enjoy the experience and we look forward to sharing our passion in many issues to come.

Cash-flow Conscientiousness Can Equal Happiness

For information on advertising opportunities or to contribute to Trifecta Magazine, email sales@trifectamagazine.ca or phone 403-589-5060.

Giving Freely is a Choice

Falling: An Experimental Form of Surrender

Learning to Love: Burlesque and Body Politics

Trifecta Magazine can be delivered quarterly directly to your home or office for only $24.95 + GST for a one year subscription. Email sales@trifectamagazine.ca for more information. Published by Allison Cartwright and Cindy Drummond

By Sue Styles

By Wendy Olson-Brodeur

By Deborah Nichol

By Christina Marlett

By Ruby Demure

The publisher, authors and contributors reserve their rights in regards to copyright of their work. No part of this work covered by the copyright may be reproduced or copied in any form or by any means without the written consent of the publisher. Opinions expressed herein are those of the authors and advertisers and do not necessarily reflect those of Trifecta Magazine. Readers are encouraged to consult with their health professional before embarking on any exercise, medical or nutritional changes. Fall 2015

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Finding Your Happiness By Yasina Bhanji

When I heard this issue was about happiness, I thought long and hard about what happiness really is. Is it a state of mind or is it just being? My life has had its ups and downs… from being adopted, separated from siblings, abuse, marriages, lost jobs, kids and many new unknown paths. Yet through it all I have always tried to maintain my smile and find the best of every situation.

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So my answer is happiness is a BEING. Its finding peace within and doing the best to live in the moment. A friend once told me every time you live in the future or past you are not living your life. Her favorite way to come back into the NOW was snapping her fingers! I have used this technique now for a few years. Whether I am driving or working – when my mind wanders I remember to snap my fingers! This brings me back to the NOW. Do you notice we get so involved in things we forget to see what’s in front of US. I have found over the years if I could find one thing positive in everything then I find happiness. The traffic gives me time to see the trees, see other cars with kids and animals, to look within. So when you are engrossed in your work remember why you are here. Find something that you can do for yourself at least once a day to bring your BEING of happiness back into your soul. Remember what you love! People always say if you don’t know your purpose how can you be happy? Well I tell those people… my purpose is to live! But I also believe you need to take time to identify what you love and bring it into your life

Helping you connect your Mind, Body and Soul BodyTalk • Reiki Master House Clearings • Angel Readings Intuitive Spiritual Counselling • Chakra Clearing Plus more, check the website out. info@yasinaslight.com • 587-717-0212 facebook.com/yasinaslight www.yasinaslight.com 2 |

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I read this quote by Mastin Kipp; Look at the moments where you’re feeling blissful, moments when the time just flies by, when you really feel lit up, when you really feel inspired. Think about, “where have I been most inspired? Where have I really been happy?” Even if it was a few moments in your life, those are the doorways showing you what your dream and happiness is about. Remember a pessimistic attitude toward life means no life, a miserable life. Finding peace in every situation and breathing is key to HAPPINESS. Practice gratitude for everything! That situation that made you cry or feel hopeless… remember someone will come into your life and will be going through the same thing and guess what! You can relate, you can give them confidence, you can show them that the universe still has much more happiness to give…because your still here aren’t you? Yasina Bhanji Yasina's Light

Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL

from the publisher Fall- It’s my favourite time of year. Fall is a new beginning isn’t it? In January, the days are short and all of the resolutions we make seem harsh and specific while in September it seems we get a fresh start. We are reaping the rewards of our January goals and if we haven’t seen the progress we had hoped for, get a second chance. We can start school, take up a new hobby and plan our gardens for next year by planting bulbs. At Trifecta, we are celebrating a new beginning as well. This fall issue marks our two year anniversary. Over the last eight issues we have learned a lot, discovered what works for us and even learned the hard way on what didn’t work. We made friends, honed our talents, and kept true to our mission. You might see some changes in upcoming issues of Trifecta, you will soon see changes with our online presence and new website, but what remains the same is our loyalty to you, our story tellers and our advertising partners. We will continue to provide a safe environment for people to share their stories, open their hearts and provide us with information on all things for a healthy mind, body and soul. With gratitude, Cindy Drummond

Look for quarterly issues of Trifecta Magazine at these locations throughout Calgary and surrounding areas: CoCo Brooks Pizza Cafe | 640 42 Avenue SE Crossroads Market | 1235, 26 Avenue SE The Divine Mine | 222, 11566, 24 Street SE Fish Creek Professional Centre | 380 Canyon Meadows Drive SE Fair’s Fair Books | 907, 9 Avenue SE Good Earth Café | 356 Cranston Road SE Heritage Professional Centre | 8180 Macleod Trail SE Human Resources Development Canada | 6712 Fisher Street SE Lake Bonavista Community Centre | 1401 Acadia Drive SE Morning Sun Health | 19, 275 Shawville Blvd. SE South Calgary Medical Clinic | 40 Sunpark Plaza SE 506 Medical Centre | 506, 71 Avenue SW Bank of Nova Scotia | 1919 Southland Drive SW Fair’s Fair Books | 104, 61 Avenue SW Fair’s Fair Books | 1609, 14 Street SW Fallen Angel Creations from Above | 827,17 Avenue SW Glenmore Landing Medical Building | 1600, 90 Avenue SW Glenmore Landing Professional Building “A” | 1600, 90 Avenue SW Good Earth Café | 1600, 90 Avenue SW Good Earth Café | 1502, 11 Street SW Harry Hays Building | 220, 4 Avenue SW Morning Sun Health | 104, 1600, 90th Avenue SW Morning Sun Health | 5747 Signal Hill Centre SW Morning Sun Health | 1200, 37 Street SW Mount Royal University Bookstore | 4825 Mount Royal Gate SW Planet Organic | 10233 Elbow Drive SW Richmond Rd Diagnostic & Treatment Centre | 1820 Richmond Rd SW South Calgary Community Association | 3130, 16 Street SW The Market on Macleod | 7711 Macleod Trail South Trimac Building | 800, 5 Avenue SW Beddington Mall | 8220 Centre Street NE Cardel Place | 11950 Country Link NE Morning Sun Health | 2525, 36 Street NE Peter Lougheed Hospital | 3500, 26 Avenue NE Angels Cappuccino & Ice Cream | Edworthy Park NW Bowness Health Foods | 6435 Bowness Road NW The Divine Mine | 3113, 8650 - 112 Ave NW Euphoria Café | 124, 5403 Crowchild Trail NW Extreme Bean Café | 3303, 3 Avenue NW Fair’s Fair Books | 1829 Ranchlands Blvd. NW Foothills Medical Special Services | 1357, 29 Street NW Friends Café | 104, 45 Edenwold Drive NW Good Earth Café | 31 Crowfoot Terrace NW Lazy Loaf & Kettle | 8 Parkdale Crescent NW New Age | 142, 10 Street NW Northwest Professional Centre | 1640, 16 Avenue NW Nurture Health & Wellness | 63 Crowfoot Terrace NW Planet Organic | 4625 Varsity Drive NW Professional Building | 2003, 14 Street NW Salt Crystal | 128, 5403 Crowchild Trail NW Sangster’s Health Centre | Marlborough Mall – #15, 3800 Memorial Drive NE Self Connection Books | 125, 4611 Bowness Road NW Soul Food Crystals & Books | 3, 213, 19 Street NW

Stay Connected /TRIFECTAMAG Fall 2015

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The Most Understated Habits of Highly-Productive People. Moving from 68% to 16% By Abe Brown

16%. According to research, only 16% of the population fall into the “high performance category”. 16% fall in the “low-performing” category, and fully 68% are assessed as “average performers.” (www.giombettiassoc. com/high_performance_people.php). For a time in my own life, I thought that moving into the 16% of high performers was all about talent, or all about upbringing, or all about time and chance. In other words, if a person was born with the right genetics, or born into the right family, or born into the right time and place, they would become high performers. If they weren’t born with the right genetic composition, family supports, or circumstances, they were out of luck. I’m so glad that maturity, research and experience has shown me how wrong this idea is. Highly-Productive People aren’t necessarily the lucky winners of the genetic or familial lottery. Just look at history or current events to see that. There are Highly Productive people in every demographic. And being in the right place at the right time with the right people does not automatically grant entrance into this elite group either. So, how do we move from the 68% of average performers to becoming the 16% who are Highly-Productive? In my study of leadership, and in my career as a coach, I have been blessed to speak with a ton of incredibly productive people. You know what not a single one of them said? Not even one said this: “I don’t know how I get all this stuff done. I just wing it and hope for the best. I think it’s sheer luck.” Each of the Highly-Productive People I spoke to described, in an almost mystical way, the concept of daily routines, habits and practices that added value to their lives, and added multiple levels of impact to everything they put their hand to. Productive people who consistently perform at a high level have a routine. Almost all have personal customs, consistent habits, and daily practices that they refined and applied. Everything that Highly-Productive People is something you or I can do, if we simply understand what they are doing, why they are doing it, and make consistent choices. Highly-Productive People build a life that is based on habits.

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Here are 6 Habits of Highly-Productive People to add to your life and work, if you haven’t already: Manage Your Mission. One consistent thread running through all of our lives, especially in the age of information overload and instant connectivity, is distraction. A 5-minute Google search can so easily become an hour or two in an Internet black hole. Highly-Productive People stay mission focused. They have spent time and energy to determine what they really care about in terms of mission, why they care about it, and how that mission will drive their daily actions. There is a ton of variation in the mission of different Highly-Productive People, but they remind themselves on a consistent basis of their personal and professional mission, and this constant reminder helps them stay sharp, focused, and clear. Mission speaks to focus. Manage Your Motivation. Motivation matters. It is the fuel that keeps you going when the mission looks distant and unreachable. Your motivation is the why behind the what and behind the how in your life. A consistently healthy why leads to a healthy what and a healthy how. When our motivation is unhealthy, we place unrealistic demands on ourselves, and unachievable expectations on others. Highly-Productive People spend time digging deep, reflecting and pondering their motivation, and they do the work necessary, often in the framework of accountable relationships, to insure their motivations are mostly selfless, pure, and beneficial to others. Motivation speaks to fuel. Manage Your Map (your daily plan). Highly-Productive People formulate and map out a plan for each day. Each day is a new 24-hour allocation to accomplish their mission, and so HighlyProductive People maximize their potential by mapping out a schedule for the day, week, and month. For many, the morning is a good time for this because it is one of the only quiet times a person gets throughout the day. The early hours foster easier reflection that helps when prioritizing activities and fitting things into a timetable. Most Highly-Productive People are early risers, but some do it on the other end, and stay up deep into the night to find time and space for quiet reflection. This speaks to formulation. Manage Your Mind. The truth is that where the mind goes, the man or woman follows. Our mind can be our greatest asset in terms of positivity, empowerment, and support for our goals and objectives, or it can be our greatest hindrance. Positive thinking doesn’t change anything in and of itself, but it empowers us to execute with greater energy, authenticity, and empowerment. Negativity drains, attracts negative people with negative energy, and costs us the energy we so desperately need to achieve at a high level. Positive thinking enables us to do almost everything better than negative thinking will, and it attracts other positive people who bring energy, soulnourishment, and brighter perspectives. If you wrestle with managing anxiety, stress, worry or fear, and would like to

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learn great techniques that will enhance your productivity in those areas, there are some fabulous free resources here: www. breakingfreeoffear.com. This speaks to faith. Manage Your Mood. Closely aligned with managing your mind is managing your mood. Happy people are productive and resilient people who continue to bounce back through obstacles, hindrances and setbacks. Interestingly, the vast majority of us have complete control over our moods. Unless we have a significant mental health issue, our daily mood is the product of our daily habits, including our daily thought lives. When we spend time exercising, eating healthy foods, getting the appropriate amount of sleep, honoring our spirituality, connecting with healthy people, and continually learning, our mood will be positive and healthy. However, when we consistently cheat ourselves of exercise, healthy food, sleep, spirituality, healthy relationships, and learning, we will find that our mood tends to be consistently negative and disempowering. Highly-Productive People manage their mood, and they do so be consistent self-care practices of exercise, nutrition, sleep, spirituality, healthy relationships, and learning. This speaks to fortitude. Manage Your Mistakes. Highly-Productive People understand what C.S. Lewis said, that “…failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.” Attaining success is about having the courage to try new things and at times, not hit the mark. But each time we miss it, we learn and recalibrate our aim, and we cultivate our lives personally and professionally towards success. Failure is one of the best teachers, and is really just delay, not defeat. To overcome failure, we need to learn from it. If we do not learn from our failure, all that pain and misery is wasted, and we risk making the same mistakes over and over again. This speaks to follow-through. Highly-Productive People are just like the rest of us, with the exception of their daily routine. This daily routine takes everything else that they do to a whole new level of efficiency, effectiveness, and empowerment. To move from the 68% of average performers to the 16% who are Highly-Productive, invest in the 6 habits described here, and don’t give yourself room or excuse to stay where you currently are. Also, reach out to us here at Momentum Coaching. We offer Professional and Executive Coaching and Workshops for individuals and teams that will enhance your productivity and boost your impact. Abe Brown is the Coach’s Coach, and is the Founder and President of Momentum Coaching www.momentumcoaching. ca, and the President of the Certified Coaches Federation (www. certifiedcoachesfederation.com). Momentum Coaching has experienced triple digit growth for several years running, and the Certified Coaches Federation has trained and certified over 10,000 Life and Executive Coaches in the last 8 years. Abe does Leadership and Executive Coaching, and works with organizations around strategic planning, cultivating fully engaged employees, and facilitating coaching and training programs. Fall 2015

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The Key To Being Happy From Within By Eileen Head

How can we find happiness when we are still searching for the answers to Who Am I, what is my value and worth and how do I get loved the way I need? We spend a lot of time trying to figure out ourselves searching for our identity by how others react to us and look for validation in our relationships. This can be confusing as different people and personality types respond differently. Until we are confident within ourselves, we have a need for someone else to confirm our worth. Many believe that when we find someone who loves us, they will make us happy and quite possibly that it is their job to make us happy. The dichotomy is that if you can’t express your desires, how does someone else know how to make you happy when you cannot give clear insights to them? You need to find happiness within yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Until I learned about my 2-Helper personality type and traits, I found my identity in pleasing others, focusing on what they wanted in order to be needed and included. I believed that I would find happiness by helping others. If I intensely focused my attention on them, they would reciprocate. Wrong. I trained them that I didn’t have needs, was not good at receiving and so they came to expect that they could call on me to support and nurture them. I gave and gave while depleting the giving well within myself. While helping others can be rewarding, inside I still felt lost, alone, and resentful that my needs were not being met. I had not yet learned the full meaning of “You teach others how to treat you.” Through learning my Enneagram (any-a-gram) personality type I could see the patterns of how and why I was responding. My helping in some cases was intrusive and perceived as needy. How enlightening. I learned to look after my own needs first so that I could be a healthier and happier helper. I have clearer boundaries with others, with myself and have stopped the patterns of enabling. My life makes sense and I have learned to be more joyful. As I have built my challenges into strengths, my confidence and self-esteem has risen. When you learn and identify which is your personality type and how you feel valued and appreciated, you can then create happiness. These personalities are based on The Enneagram (any-a-gram) an ancient body of wisdom that holds the key to unlocking true understanding of the depth of our being and other people, in a kind and compassionate way. It simplifies our lives by helping us understand why we do what we do. When we understand which of the nine different personalities we are, the patterns of our lives finally make sense. We will experience profound selfacceptance, clarity of purpose, and discover how to live through positivity and find lasting personal fulfilment. Before we can find happiness, we must first love and accept ourselves. The Personality Quiz is free online at www.eileenhead.com Stay tuned for my relationship online program “Get Loved The Way You Need” which will be released in early fall. Eileen Head Relationship & Personality Expert, Coach; International Best Selling Author; Speaker, Workshop Facilitator; Enneagram Personality Teacher; Hypnotherapist

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Can you really be happy? By Karen Judge

When I hear the word “happy,” I immediately think of a happy face. That round, yellow, smiley icon is such a positive symbol, intended to spark a feelgood reaction. But it’s not as easy as that, is it? Just because we “see” a happy face doesn’t make us happy. We’re increasingly learning that happiness is about the state of our internal thoughts and feelings, not external appearance or expression. After all, happy people can cry a lot and sad people –Robin Williams comes to mind – can smile a lot. It’s hard to process that a man who spent his life making other people smile was not smiling for himself. And there are many other people out there just like Robin. With depression, stress-related disease, suicide, and mental illness on the rise it’s obvious that happiness is not as easy as just turning on a switch. Happiness is a journey, and that becoming happier takes work (it’s true and it’s worth it). The principles of happiness are not complicated, in fact the steps can be considered pretty basic. However people don’t always do the work. Learning skillful ways to navigate life helps us to reach our potential, helps us to thrive. To master the art of happiness takes awareness, education, choice, action, and regular practice. In life, we are all either in a crisis, coming out of a crisis or about to go into a crisis, and in between we have to navigate a series of challenges. If we don’t find ways to manage the negative mindset that comes with those crises and challenges, we start to rob ourselves of our potential to be happy. Sadness can start to settle in. But feeling sad can be a good thing. It builds character, and helps us to dig deep and to really feel our feelings. And we need to do that – to understand that our feelings are valid. Happiness is not about the absence of negative feelings; happiness is about believing that there is something you can do about those feelings. Honoring the negative feelings is the first step towards a happier mind. It’s unresolved sadness that is so dangerous because it leads us down a path toward discontent, loneliness, isolation, and illness.

Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL

Our brain is naturally programed to believe negative thoughts first – that’s our fight-or-flight response, and it’s the way nature intended us to be hard wired. But unless you’re hunting a sabertooth tiger or need an adrenaline rush to help lift a car off someone, that wiring is no longer serving us. In fact, it can affect our ability to be happy. To overcome our genetic make-up, to feel happy, we must train our brains to think in new ways. Work problems, health issues, family struggles, financial challenges and all the other everyday stressors put our mind and body into the flight-or-fight response. That bypasses our rational mind, which is where we create our positive thoughts and feelings. And positive outcomes is where we’ll find our happiness. The good news is that academic research is now revealing solutions – including that we have more control over our minds than we may think. That we can take steps to stay in a rationally optimistic state, and thus create the right conditions to see possibilities and opportunities instead of challenges and conflicts. Life can be hard - I get it. Experiencing my own crisis several years ago set me on a journey to learn more about the science of happiness. I lost my mother, my father, and my sister, in a short period of time. I had estates to settle, a business to run, bills to pay, all while trying to raise a teenage son and maintain a marriage. Add to the mix a serious car accident, lost relationships and managing my grief, there were many days when pulling the covers over my head felt more appealing than getting out of bed. But I never allowed myself to stay in bed (OK, I’ll ‘fess up: maybe once….but that’s human; what you need to avoid is lying in bed day after day). Finding your new normal, including new ways to live happy, after a crisis, is crucial. Many people get stuck in the overwhelming thoughts that happen during difficult times or struggles. In order

Fall 2015

to move forward, to continue to grow, and to be able to put the past behind us, we need tools to get us back to life. The world will go on with or without us. To me, living life to the fullest is about choosing to go on with it. Every one of us has a story, and everyone’s level of happiness is going to be challenged at some point in their lives. When your happiness is challenged, which methods or tools do you have in place to help you move forward? I have studied Positive Psychology, I’m a Mental Health 1st Aider and Peer Support trained, and have learned from some of the top happiness gurus (Shawn Achor, of The Happiness Advantage, is my top mentor). Through all my education, life experiences and research I have designed a road map to happiness - a road I will drive for the rest of my life. And now I dedicate my work to helping other people create their own road maps to happiness. Life isn’t always easy, but life is a gift. You matter! And you deserve to live happy. Please join me in becoming a happy ambassador @ ahappiermind. com; together, we can share a journey toward a healthier and happier life. ***If you have been struggling with your level of happiness lately know my heart goes out to you! Living in isolation, silence, pain is a journey I don’t wish on anyone. Reaching out to someone you trust and letting him or her know you don’t feel like yourself is the place to start. Don’t try to do this alone; getting the proper support is the best step you can take toward living your life happy. Calling 211 is a great resource toward help. Karen Judge, Mind Health Specialist happymatters.net

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Choose Happiness 3 Simple Strategies to turn Frowns Upside Down By Ramona Remesat

Residential & Office Organizing

In just a few shorts weeks the kids will be back in school and the frost will arrive. YUCK! As I am NOT a fan of the cold weather, I started daydreaming about my last trip to Maui. While browsing through the shops I saw a cute sign that read: “If you are lucky enough to live in Hawaii… you are lucky enough.”

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I mean how could anyone living in a Hawaiian paradise be anything BUT happy?? And yet, even there, happiness is elusive for some. I started to wonder how that’s even possible and I began to see that there are three common “happiness thieves” that rob people of their joy and keep them from living their lives to the fullest. Read on to learn how to identify those tricky happiness stealers and three simple strategies to turn frowns upside down. WORRY Worry is probably the biggest happiness stealer out there and it stems from thinking that we are all alone in our problem/ challenge/situation. It’s as if it’s just us and our worries all alone in a dingy room locked in a staring contest with one other. You don’t feel empowered. You don’t feel supported. You feel entirely and utterly alone and vulnerable. Now instead of that picture, imagine THIS! Envision yourself standing at the head of a table in a flashy, executive boardroom. Seated all around that table is your spiritual team. This team is comprised of your angels, deceased loved ones, Ascended Masters, and guides who are all EXPERTS in providing you with Divine assistance. Now doesn’t THAT picture feel much better?

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Here’s how to get it: Rather than worry about your situation, CHOOSE to turn it over to your team. Just tell them what you need help with. Try something like, “God/Angels/Universe/Divine Mind/Source etc. please help me with (fill in the blank with what you are worried about). Then TRUST that they hear what you have asked for and will get to work on it immediately. The next step for you is to pay attention to your inner guidance and take action on the intuitive thoughts, ideas and gut feelings that you receive. Now don’t worry, be happy! THE WORK, WORK, WORK MENTALITY How many times have you heard someone say, “When my work is done, THEN I can have fun or THEN I will relax or THEN I will go on vacation.” This is such a backward way of thinking, yet it’s rampant out there! Consider this. Every emotion carries a vibration. When you feel excited, happy and joyful your vibration is high. And in THIS state you are highly attractive in the sense that you attract even MORE

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garden trends reasons to be excited, happy and joyful. The right people show up in your life, the right opportunities come along and the money is there to support you and your dreams. When you regularly take part in joyful activities and surround yourself with people, places, and things that make you happy, you will find that the work almost takes care of itself. Case in point, it seems we all know “those people” who seem to have it all despite not really working that hard for it. How is that possible? It’s because “those people” have figured out that happiness is a must have, not a luxury. And as a result, their high vibration allows them to attract exactly what they need and desire. Here’s how to get that: Having fun doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time. Just try to infuse each day with something that makes you happy. Do you love to read? Then pick up a great book and read a few pages. Do you love to create? Then draw, sew, paint, write or garden. Rarely give yourself permission to relax? Then set up a basin with some hot water mixed with sea salt and soak your feet for a few minutes while flipping through a magazine (and why not enjoy a cold beverage at the same time). There are TONS of things you can do. You just have to make the CHOICE to do them. STUFFING YOUR FEELINGS These days, it seems to me that people do not have healthy ways of dealing with their feelings. Instead of FEELING them, they stuff them so far down that they never see the light of day. They think that by sweeping their emotions under the proverbial rug they won’t have to deal with them. This may work for a short time, but soon enough there’s a big bump under the carpet and they aren’t fooling anyone. Stuffing your feelings creates dis-ease within the body that, left unchecked, can manifest physically as disease. And you obviously don’t want to go down that road! So please, please, please don’t ignore your feelings. Crappy things happen in life. The trick though is to let yourself feel your feelings but then make the CHOICE to move forward and not get pulled into the quicksand of despair. Here’s how to do it: Journaling is a healthy way to express yourself and a wonderful tool to help you deal with your feelings. Some people prefer to write about what they are feeling in the form of a letter, not with the intent of sending it, but just as a way to release and let go of emotions like anger, resentment, unforgiveness and guilt. You can even address the letter to yourself as most people harbour these feelings against themselves. Remember, happiness is not something external that we strive for, but rather it’s within us all along. You just have to CHOOSE. Ramona Remesat is an Intuitive Mindset Coach, author and speaker. She helps open-minded entrepreneurs, who struggle with fears that hold them back, make clear and confident decisions and crush their limiting mind-stories. Get started today with The Three Essential Steps to Getting Anything You Want In Life at www.ramonaremesat.com

Fall 2015

Gearing Up to Gear Down By Joanne Dafoe

As we continue to enjoy our outdoor spaces, it is time to take stock of your garden successes. What areas of the garden were you happy with? Which plants were less/more susceptible to insect and disease challenges? Did you notice the obscene amount of aphids on the Diablo Ninebark this year? What spots need to be filled in? Fall is a fabulous time to plant - conditions and prices are excellent! Start a garden journal and take lots of pictures. Winter is long and we tend to forget what gave us great joy, and what caused us grief in the garden!

5 Tips for Fall Gardening • Switch out summer annuals in your pots, choosing fall stunners like Autumn Joy Sedum, Ornamental Cabbage, Fall Mums and Ornamental Grass • Stop fertilizing and pruning to allow plants to harden off for winter • Plant Fall bulbs for early Spring colour - Tulips, Fritillaria and Crocus give a blast of colour while the snow is still melting! • Plant garlic bulbs - choose a sunny location with well drained soil. You will never go back to store bought garlic once you plant your own! • Amend you soil with compost to ensure favourable planting conditions for 2016 Gardening does not end in Autumn - in some ways, it is just the beginning. We start to prepare our gardens for next year, and ensure it is able to withstand the inevitably cold winter, and it leaves us noting successes and dreaming of a new glorious season. Happy Fall gardening!

Joanne Dafoe, Horticulturist and Landscape Designer dafoedesign.com

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CYNERGY THOUGHTS Be In Your Boots! By Cindy Drummond

Perhaps it’s just me, but lately there seems to be a “buzz” around mindfulness and meditation. Oprah and Deepak Chopra just offered a Free 21 day mediation experience (which was awesome by the way), seminars seem to be popping up all over the city and recently my best friend attended a mindfulness conference in San Diego. When she came home from the conference she was explaining to a few of our close friends some of the lessons she learned while away. “Be where your feet are, “she said. “What does that mean?” one of the girls asked. “Your feet are here, so that’s where you need to be. Not in the past, not in the future. Just here.” It’s so simple, yet so hard to do, isn’t it? We spend so much time dwelling on past incidents and worrying about future situations that may or may not come to pass. As the night went on, we kept coming back to being mindful. If one of us mentioned we were upset about something that happened a few weeks prior or that we were concerned about something that was scheduled in the future, someone else would say, “Be where your feet are”. After a few glasses of wine, someone was telling a story when suddenly one of my girlfriends shouted “BE IN YOUR BOOTS”! We looked at her and burst out laughing, but it stuck. Now, when I realize that I am thinking about the past or future, I stop and tell myself to Be in Your Boots. It makes me laugh and reminds me to keep focused on the present. The past is over and the future will unfold exactly as it should. Just a thought.

Wisdom from the Akashic Records: Happiness By Christy Lowrance

Happiness is a beautiful thing. It is our common goal and our Divine right to live in harmony and joy. It is what every individual is ultimately striving for in his or her own way. Life throws curveballs at us occasionally, and the intention of this article is to help you find some happiness along the way, no matter what is going on in your life.

When people come to me for an Akashic Record reading, they are looking for answers to many different questions. We all want to know more about things like our relationships with others and ourselves, if we’re financially secure, if we’re on the right path and where exactly this path is leading us to. Many also feel as though there is something stopping them from moving forward in certain ways, but most times can’t put their finger on it or understand why their efforts haven’t been more successful. When we ask the Masters in the Akashic Records what is really happening, the answer can be quite profound and is hardly ever obvious. Many times the answer is hidden in an emotionally traumatic past event in this life or a previous life. The fear, anxiety and hurt can linger and manifest themselves in different ways. The advice offered by the Masters on how to overcome these problems is as unique as the events and individuals they are giving it to, but there are always several remedies they suggest to everyone. The simple ones are meditating, walking in nature and playing like a child. The more challenging ones are forgiveness, understanding and acceptance of ourselves and all others.

The Akashic Masters on meditating, walking in nature and playing: The reason it is so important to do these things is because it is the most immediate way to bring your body, mind and soul back into harmony and balance. The purpose is to really take your mind off of what is troubling you, and go the other way to remind yourself what you love or what is not troubling you. Think of these activities as antidotes, or as the opposite of problems, frustrations or negativity. Walking in nature, not just anywhere but specifically near the green stuff, is something everyone can do and everyone can benefit from. Walking gets the life force flowing through you and increases your vitality. When you are surrounded by trees you are taking in all of their pure energy. Think of it as innocent, calm and undisturbed energy that doesn’t know frustration or anxiety. It knows only love and you are taking it all in. Isn’t that a breath of fresh air? Meditating is easy for some but difficult for others and we want you to know that it must not be daunting for those that find it challenging. It is not about getting anywhere or finding

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anything. It is simply about clearing your mind. Think of it as neutral head space that can be then transformed into a relaxing moment. All you are trying to do is let go of thoughts and quiet your mind. This alone will reduce stress. If you are struggling, ask for help from your guides and they will be there for you. Once you are able to get the hang of it, more profound experiences will occur and you will find answers and bring more calm into your every day. We hope that the importance of playing like a child is obvious, and that all of you adults will consider it! Don’t be afraid to let go and have fun and be silly and ridiculous. If you don’t remember how, play with kids and they will show you. The important thing is for you to let go of your seriousness by fully embracing your inner child. Next time you pass a park, stop and have a go on the slide or the swing set and think of a happy time when you felt truly free. On forgiveness, understanding and acceptance: Forgiveness and acceptance are key to letting go of the negativity that prevents happiness. Forgiveness is not about condoning the hurts you have experienced by someone or some experience in the past. Overcoming those experiences, learning from them and seeing the positive side of things are a process that must be lived through in one’s own time. It is a process that cannot be rushed. Please do not expect yourself to jump through from hurt to forgiveness immediately. That would be beside the point. You need to give yourself and others the time to heal and grow and learn before you get to the point of whole forgiveness, otherwise the hurtful experience will live on inside of you. We are talking, of course, about what you are experiencing, but also about what others in your life might be going through as well. Do not judge others or rush them into healing. Give them the space they need to get through it, and most importantly give them the understanding, love and acceptance they need from you. Finally, let it go and love yourself. It is the most beautiful gift you can give to yourself and all others. You are all here to experience life on Earth. Your Soul wrote your life story before it came down into the beautiful body it is in now. Certain elements and characters in the story have been written in, but the outcomes, reactions and timing are being improvised by you. Please know, they are all beautiful stories. They are all about facing challenges and hardship, then overcoming them in a beautiful human way. Respect each other’s story and choices as they are all Divine. Discover and uncover another’s story, and you will see the beauty in who they are and what they’ve been through. You will soon find there are few differences among you, and your world of friends and family will learn to love each other and find happiness together. Christy Lowrance Certified Akashic Record Reader www.forestspirithealing.com

Fall 2015

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Christy Lowrance christy@forestspirithealing.com p: 587.888.9788 www.forestspirithealing.com

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D R . A LMA N ENSHI

A CCEPTING N EW P ATIENTS !

Headaches • Back Pain • Vertigo • Fatigue • Nutrition • Weight Loss

Understanding Inflammation By Dr. Alma Nenshi, Registered Chiropractor Your body employs a number of powerful biological responses to keep you alive and healthy. Inflammation has an important role to play in the body’s ability to heal, but in some situations it can become challenging. What is Inflammation? When your body undergoes an injury or encounters an infection or irritant, it uses inflammation to aid in the healing process. The body releases chemical substances into the tissue around the injury or infection, which allows blood more access to the problematic area. The skin around the inflamed area often grows red and might feel warm to the touch. Inflammation can also cause pain as the released chemicals stimulate nerve endings and make the area more sensitive. This sensitivity prompts you to give the injured area plenty of rest, helping to improve the body’s ability to heal. Inflammation Gone Awry In the short term, inflammation provides a valuable service. However, inflammation can become chronic, meaning that it can last for months or even years. Chronic inflammation can occur if the body’s natural systems fail to address the root cause of the inflammatory response, or if the immune response mistakenly starts to attack healthy tissue. This type of inflammation plays a role in a variety of chronic conditions, such as asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, and ulcerative colitis. Inflammation can also interfere with your life by causing congestion, fatigue, high blood pressure, allergies, and weight gain.

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While everyone experiences inflammation from time to time in response to injury or irritation, some lifestyle factors can make you more prone to unnecessary inflammation. A study conducted by the Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, Georgia found that sleep deprivation raises the body’s levels of inflammatory markers, substances in the blood that show that inflammation is present. People who are overweight and obese also tend to show higher levels of these markers. However, a study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle, Washington, found that postmenopausal women who were overweight or obese showed a measurable decrease in inflammation markers when they lost 5% of their body weight. Keeping Inflammation Under Control If you believe you are suffering from uncontrolled inflammation, check in with your primary care provider to rule out any life-threatening conditions. Then, schedule a time to talk with your chiropractor. A 2010 study by the University of Quebec at Montreal found evidence that chiropractic manipulation can cause inflammation markers to normalize. A chiropractor can also make lifestyle suggestions to help make sure your diet, exercise and sleep levels support a healthy inflammation response. Inflammation is a very good thing in the right circumstances, but it can cause many challenges in the wrong ones. Certainly there is no need to keep living with painful chronic inflammation. Your solution may just be a phone call away. Dr. Alma Nenshi, Registered Chiropractor Chiropractic Wellness Clinic www.CalgaryWellness.com

I have suffered from asthma, since a small child, at the age of 58 I an on 2 steroid inhalers and my emergency inhaler used about 3 to 4 times a day. In just three treatments (including having a major chest cold when I started) I have not used any inhalers in two days. I am excited as to what future treatments shall bring as well as what spring shall bring since). I suffer from hay fever as well. Thank you I am very grateful! - Wendy Our 5-year old twin girls love coming to the salt room to play, read a book, or sign kids songs. The end result is that the girls and entire family is healthier. - Yvea My granddaughter didn’t use her inhalers or wheeze and cough the entire week she spends with us in Calgary. I feel we have found a positive solution to the asthma. - Barbara

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I have asthma and chronic cough for the last 6 years. Since I have started the salt therapy I have cut my inhaler use down from every day to once a week. I Have more energy, less tired and my skin looks healthier. - Lori

My son was the one receiving the treatment. For the week that we were in your facility I noticed an increase in energy and easier breathing for him and myself! HE also experienced a clearing of ECZEMA!! We enjoyed our time talking and learning about the treatment. - Claudia, Edmonton After only 4 session my breathing was “easier” and the calming effects are indisputable. - Jan

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Kelly Faradeau will be a keynote speaker at WOW 2015 in Canmore at the Solora Resort and Spa October 23- 25. facebook.com/womenonlyweekend

Taking the “T” Out of Can’t By Kelly Falardeau

One of the most common questions I get is how do you do that? How do you walk out the door even with scars on your face? How did you create a mobile scrapbook store? How did you write two bestselling books? How did you become a speaker? How did you become the Top 10 Most Powerful & Influential Speaker? How did you become the Fierce Woman of the Year? How did you walk the runway and win the People’s Choice Award? How did you overcome all the adversity? How did you get over the staring and teasing? How did you become a recipient of the Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee medal?

thought “I can’t write a book of 1000 tips for teens, I don’t know 1000 tips” or “How can I write a book of 1000 tips for teens?”

Yes, a gazillion questions. How did I learn how to take the “T” out of can’t? Saying ‘can’t’ wasn’t an option in my family. If I wanted something I had to find a way to get it or forget about it.

Write down what your thoughts are on whether you think you can or can’t do it.

My family never let me quit. My scars were never an issue. I got burnt when I was two-years-old. So what?! Why does that make me any different than anyone else? My parents didn’t think I was different nor should I be treated any different. I was just Kelly. Nothing more, nothing less. I had a tragic accident when I was two and got burnt to 75% of my body and had to have surgeries until I was 20-years-old. I had to endure staring, teasing and rejection my whole life. So what?! Suck it up and quit feeling sorry for yourself. That was what my parents said and I didn’t think I should be treated any different just because I had scars. I just wanted to blend in and be like everybody else. I never had boyfriends in school, but when I was 20-years-old I met my husband (who is now my ex-husband) and we were together for 24-years. We had four beautiful children including our daughter, a stillborn angel baby and our twin sons. Something I never thought I could do. I didn’t think burnt people had babies. When I found out that in fact, other burn survivors had kids, I realized that I could too and we started planning a family. I was concerned whether my scars would stretch enough in order for me to have babies, but I was wrong. Burn survivors do have babies and the skin can stretch enough. What is the lesson? How do you take the ‘T’ out of can’t? Quite simply. Quit saying to yourself, “I can’t do that.” If there is something you really want to do, don’t say “I can’t do that,” because when you do, your mind will agree with you and say “yes, you’re right, you can’t do it.” It’s only natural you won’t be able to achieve your goal because you’ve already convinced yourself you can’t do it before you even tried. If you really want to do it, you need to take the ‘T’ out of can’t and say to yourself, “How can I do that…?” That is the correct question to ask yourself. When you say “How can I do that?” you open up your mind to the possibility of doing it and your mind will come up with the solution on HOW to do it. You might not get the answer instantly, but it will come. When you ask yourself a question your conscious mind will generally want to find an answer. If you just give yourself a statement that says “I can’t do that,” you’re right, you can’t and your mind won’t even try to find a way to do it. Your mind will just agree with you. Simple as that. So, to take the ‘T’ out of can’t, just ask yourself, “How can I…” (and fill in the blank). For example, when I decided I wanted to write a book with 1000 tips for teens, I could have had two different thoughts. I could have Fall 2015

When I asked myself “How can I write a book of 1000 tips for teens?” this is what the answer was: “How about asking 100 people to each write 10 tips and then you’ll get your 1000 tips written for you.” And that’s what I did, I started asking people for their 10 tips and voila we had a book with a thousand tips written. Exercise: Write down about the situation you want to decide on. For example, I want to go to Africa.

Write down the answer to, “How can I do it?” Allow yourself time to think about how you can do it. Listen to your intuition and inner talk and allow the answers to pop into your head at the right time. Come back to this question when you get the answer and don’t force the answer to come instantly. You might not get the answer for a day or two or even a week, or you just may get your answer instantly, but the important thing is to allow yourself time to think about it. Kelly Falardeau Top Ten Most Influential Speaker 4 times Bestselling Author Recipient of the Queen Elizabeth Diamond Jubilee medal YWCA Woman of Distinction 2013

Kelly Falardeau is a burn survivor since the age of two-years-old and constantly struggled with her self-esteem and inner beauty. She found a way to go from near-death to success; from the ugly scar-faced girl to the Top 10 Most Influential Speaker, Fierce Woman of the Year, two-time Bestselling Author and recipient of the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal. She has also travelled to Africa twice to help the burn survivors recover from their tragic injuries and recently the producers of the Today Show and Dr. Oz show are considering her to be an expert on their show. You have to ask yourself how? How did a burn survivor who constantly struggled with rejection, staring and teasing burst through all the negativity in her life to succeed? ps – Would you like to know why most women don’t love themselves? Download the free ebook “7 Reasons Women Don’t Love Themselves and How to Change It”

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Healthy Eating on the Go – No Sandwiches By Laura Principe

I am not a fan of sandwiches because I am not a fan of bread. Wheat/gluten is very hard to digest and is one of the two most common food allergens, the other being dairy. Wheat is not the same as it used to be fifty years ago. It is much harder on our system to digest and detoxify it. I am also not a fan of eating “healthy” foods at fast food restaurants. While they are better options than a burger and fries, they still don’t meet my standards. For example: •

Subway sandwiches and salads – Since I don’t like sandwiches, they get marked off the list for this reason alone but there are other reasons. Their food is left on display which creates oxidation. This creates free radicals which are very damaging to the body. Free radicals are molecules with unpaired electrons. While looking to find another electron, they become very reactive and cause damage to surrounding molecules.

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Fast food wraps and salads – The wraps are made of wheat which is their first mistake and it’s also usually cheap wheat with additives and preservatives, their second mistake. Their salads contain mostly iceberg lettuce which is almost devoid of nutrients. Add in the too small amounts of processed chicken, cheese, and foods like bacon bits or other additives. The salad dressing is also processed with extra sugar, preservatives, and additives. The entire meal gives you too much calories for the small amount of nutrients provided.

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Stir fry places like Wok Box – The oil they use to stir fry is vegetable oil, the king of rancid oils and full of free radicals. Their produce is not fresh and often the cheapest they can kind. With food, the price you pay for it equals the quality you get. White rice is used and the meat is also cheap, full of fat and additives.

So what are your options? Smoothies There are tons of delicious recipes for smoothies on the internet. A foundation for a healthy, meal-replacing smoothie has the following ingredients: • Low glycemic fruit like berries, apples, pears, cherries, and citrus fruits. • Any kind of vegetable with dark, leafy greens as the most popular option.

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• • • •

Protein in the form of low sugar powders, raw nuts and/or seeds, nut butters, or low sugar Greek yogurt. Liquids. Water, low sugar almond or coconut milk. Healthy fats in the form of flaxseed oil, hemp oil, avocados, olive oil, or coconut oil. Optional toppers like flaxseed, hemp seeds, bananas, and anything else you would like to add.

Salads Again, there are tons of delicious recipes for salads on the internet. A foundation for a healthy salad has the following ingredients: • Dark, leafy greens as a base. No iceberg lettuce. Purchase a pre-made, pre-washed lettuce mix at the grocery store and use the container as the bowl. You can then bring it with you to work or when running errands. • Add in protein in the form of lean meats. Avoid processed deli meats as they are full of salt and preservatives, a typical one being nitrates which is known for causing many illnesses. If you cannot prepare the meat ahead of time, buy a roasted chicken at the deli to use. The chicken is still not the ideal option as they are pumped with “flavours” but it is a much better alternative than deli meats or fast food. Hard boiled eggs are also a good choice. • Cheese is considered a protein and can replace animal meats, or you can use it as a topper. I prefer organic cheeses as they are un-pasteurized and therefore full of enzymes to help digestion. Organic cheeses also lack colouring, hormones, and antibiotics that can come with conventional dairy cows. • Add is any other vegetables you want such as tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and etc. • Simple oil and balsamic vinegar dressing to top it off and you’re ready to go! • This takes just a few minutes to prepare at home. Mix it all in the lettuce container you bought and store it in the fridge until you are ready to go. • If you are already out, buy the lettuce, chicken from the deli, some easy to use vegetables that require no prep like cherry tomatoes. Then mix and eat! If you would like dressing, purchase a small bottle from the dollar store and make a healthy dressing at home you can carry with you. Lunch Packs There are tons of delicious recipes for lunch packs on the internet. A foundation for healthy lunch packs has the following ingredients: • Either a mixed salad prepared ahead of time or some cut veggies. If you don’t want to do any preparation, buy pre-cut veggies or easy to eat veggies like peas. • A protein source in the form of leftover meat from the night before, roasted chicken from the deli (or other source of cooked meat), hard boiled eggs, hummus to dip the veggies, nuts and seeds, nut butters, or Greek yogurt. Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL

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If you would like a grain to consume, try some natural crackers that are processed as little as possible. My favourite is “Mary’s Organic Crackers.” Cheese is a favourite for lunch packs and I’m okay with them as long as you are able to digest dairy and you use organic cheese. Please avoid those single cheese strings as they are not natural. Take a few minutes to cut some fresh cheese at home before you leave. Bring a piece of fruit for a sweet snack! Bring leftovers from the night before! Try to avoid using the microwave if you can as it changes the molecules in the food which depletes the nutrients. Can you eat your leftovers cold?

Trail Mixes I like making my own. It only takes a few minutes. • I prefer organic nuts and seeds but it can be pricey. If you prefer to use non-organic, that is fine. I look for mixes that I enjoy or I buy a few different kinds and mix it up myself. • Dried fruit is typical but not necessary. • I tend to avoid pre-salted mixes as I don’t know if they are using sea salt and how much. I will mix a little in with my trail mix at home. • If you like chocolate, look for dark chocolate chips or carob chips. Carob is a chocolate alternative that has a sweet taste and no caffeine. Because it tends to be sweeter than chocolate, it has no extra sugar (which some chocolate

Fall 2015

chips do), and you don’t tend to eat as much. Be aware… it does taste different than chocolate but I enjoy it. Extra snacks • Homemade popcorn with natural butter, coconut oil, and sea salt. Look for organic popcorn as conventional kernels can be genetically modified. • Homemade granola bars made with oatmeal. This is a great project to do on the weekend, to prepare for the week ahead. Because you are making them, you are in control of what goes in them. There is nothing better than homemade. I suggested oats as the grain instead of wheat but you can choose whole grain wheat if you prefer. Happy eating! Laura Principe Revive Calgary Laura is a holistic nutritionist who specializes in nutrition for mental health, immunity and detoxification, and pain and injury. Growing up in an Italian household, she learned to love food and continues to do so but now with interest in healthy and wholesome snacks and dishes.

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did you know... That your subconscious has the mindset of a naive four year old child?

It also doesn’t understand humor or sarcasm. It takes in information in a simple straightforward way and is quite literal. The subconscious is 95% of your mind and the conscious part is only 5%. It is your conscious mind that is negative, skeptical and resistant to change. It loves maintaining the status quo. Hypnosis bypasses the critical, judging conscious mind and sends positive messages straight to the eager-to-learn subconscious mind that is awaiting instructions. Using hypnosis is the best way to change negative habits and create positive new change! Cheryle Cote Cote College of Hypnosis and Healing

What Blocks Our Happiness? By Cheryle Cote

As a practitioner with over 30 years of experience, I have seen thousands of clients. And of these thousands, I would guess that there were less than 30% I would have considered happy. According to the dictionary, happiness is defined as the state of being happy, pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joviality, jollity, glee, delight, good spirits, light heartedness, well-being, and enjoyment. Everyone has a different definition of “happy”. Ask some and they would equate happiness with a good marriage, others would say financial success and yet, others would say independence and freedom. Because happiness is a very subjective state, it gives rise to the variable definitions. In my experience as a Life Empowerment Coach, there are three main things that prevent people from being truly happy. All of these things are fear based. As Bruce Lipton, cellular biologist and author of the book, Biology of Belief, has stated, fear and love cannot exist in the same space at the same time, by the very opposite nature of their functioning. If we apply these principles to our emotions, it is going to be hard to feel happy if we are wallowing in fearfulness. I have narrowed the fears down to three of the most common culprits that block our happiness.

Fear of Rejection This is a biggie for many people. We all want to be accepted by our family, tribe and/or community. We want to belong and feel accepted and loved. If we feel negative about ourselves, rejection can trigger off a number of other feelings. We can start to feel humiliated, lonely, not good enough, useless, inadequate and unlovable. The more we dwell on these feelings, the more pain we’re putting ourselves through and we fear that the same thing will happen again. Play out a few scenarios in your mind of instances where you might be faced with a fear of rejection and visualize a successful outcome. See things going the way you want. Engage all of your senses, using sights, sounds and feelings. Practice being relaxed and calm in this scenario in your mind. If you encounter obstacles, formulate solutions in your mind. Recall a happy confident memory. In practicing this technique, you’ll start to feel more confident that the outcome you want is going to happen. Then this will become a replacement for the feelings of fear of rejection that you’ve trained yourself to expect. Often when there is a fear of rejection, there is difficulty saying

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no to others, in an attempt to win their approval by doing whatever they want. Start saying no to others on smaller things. Over time this will help you to set healthy boundaries and you will graduate to larger things, when you need to, as you feel more secure. Constantly remind yourself that you have a fundamental right to be happy. Don’t let your own feelings of self-worth be governed by whether or not you’re accepted or rejected by other people. Learn that other people’s opinions about you, or opinions about your choices, is a reflection of them, not you. If we continually hold back from interacting with people because of our fear of rejection, we also miss out on the potential happiness, warmth and excitement that other people can bring into our lives.

Fear of Failure I have seen many clients who have fear of failure and the attitude that if they choose to do nothing, they can’t possibly fail. Unfortunately, this will contribute to feelings of an unfulfilled stagnant life. It is unreasonable to think that the first time we do something new that we will automatically succeed. Sometimes that might happen, but I think that is rare. Failing is actually a vital part of learning. If something does not work out, we usually assess what went wrong and make adjustments to correct the outcome. So if you reframe failure by shifting your goal to include learning something new, you will never technically “fail” because there is always something to be learned. This way, you can’t fail because, regardless of the outcome, you are bound to learn something of value through the experience. Anticipate any potential obstacles or struggles, and come up with ways to deal with these possibilities. This will help you prepare for various conditions. By using positive thinking while assessing potential obstacles, you can feel confident going into your new endeavor. Think of a situation in which you may be afraid of failure. Visualize yourself experiencing an obstacle. Allow yourself to feel the fear, and then see yourself moving forward. Next, imagine how to overcome whatever obstacles may stand in your way. Then see yourself succeeding despite these obstacles. Think of a memory of a time that you did succeed and breathe into that memory. If you feel you have failed at something, make a list of the benefits and drawbacks of the failure. It may seem hard to do, but there will be benefits. You will learn from these drawbacks and be able to move forward with a better chance of success. As you begin to let go of the fear of failure, you will experience life with more pride, confidence, satisfaction and joy.

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Fear of Uncertainty Change and unexpected events can give rise to feelings of uncertainty. We all have this from time to time. But some people are always fearful of the unknown. Perhaps, they have been blindsided and did not know what to do, as a result. Or perhaps they had many changes forced upon them. Whatever the reason, fear of uncertainty can thwart a sense of happiness and contentment. Often, people who have a fear of uncertainty will attempt to control outcomes at all costs, even if it isn’t within their realm to do so. In this process they become disappointed and unhappy. The key word here is control, or lack thereof. Because when there is uncertainty, there is no sense of control of a situation. These people will have specific expectations and specific desired outcomes. Expectations can set them up for disappointment. It is impossible to control the exact outcome of a situation, especially if other people are involved. We can, however, control our response to any given situation. We can plan and guide our future. It is far better to focus on what you can do to create the kind of experience you want to have. If you expect every situation to be exact in a specific way, you will likely be frustrated and disappointed. Learn relaxation techniques to release pent-up emotion from not being able to control a situation. Make lists and plan the things that you know you can control. By streamlining your life in this way, unexpected events will not overwhelm you, because you will have order in the things you can control. When you obsess about a tomorrow you can’t control, you’re too busy judging what hasn’t happened yet to fully experience what’s happening right now. Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle of worrying about future events that may not even happen. The only thing that is certain in life is that life is always changing. Let go of the fears and embrace a life full of unlimited possibilities. By allowing our life to flow, living in the moment and being open to experiencing it fully with an open heart and mind, can we have a true sense of peace, joy and happiness. Cheryle Cote helps people to release their fears and fulfill their dreams through her Life Empowerment Coaching programs. www.cherylecote.com

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Visit ArchAngel Connection at the New Earth Expo on October 2-4 (see back cover for details)and meet Serena, Trifecta Magazine's Sales Executive to qualify for a discount on your next ad with us.

Laugh – it increases your face value! By Serena Kolodka

This story makes me laugh every time I tell it. I was working at a landscape supply company dispatching trucks full of rocks and soil to happy homeowners all over the city. Upon my arrival one day, I was summoned over the radio to the yard to “identify a species”. I assumed that somebody had been caught smoking a plant that needed clear ID before the person would be removed from the premises. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at a clear space in the yard where pallets of stone had once been stacked, to find the crew of 12 young men all standing around one lone pallet. The cheese was standing alone. The yard guys were nervously chattering when I came up and the yard manager asked me to take a look at the species under the pallet where no one was standing. OK. I got on the ground near the pallet, but not too near, and took a look. You could have knocked me over with a feather. It was a woodchuck; serious teeth and unhappy. This one was miffed because thoughtless humans that were moving things without considering the effects on indigenous wildlife had ransacked its homey space. So what did the yard manager want me to do? Apparently, he wanted me to come up with a solution. The problem being that all pallets needed to be moved to a safer, woodchuckfree area so clients, often with children in tow, could look at and pick through them. Being who I am, and probably this is the reason I was summoned in the first place, I leapt into action. I called animal control. They only dealt with domestic animals. I called the wildlife hotline. They were busy and this was no emergency. Then I called the zoo and was told to try luring the animal into a darkened container and transporting it out of the area. At least it was an idea. So we fashioned a “trap” consisting of a large tube running from the pallet into a large garbage bin. The entire apparatus was covered in a black cloth to ensure a dark, homey atmosphere. So how do you lure an unhappy woodchuck into a tube? Well, you try peanut butter and a variety of snacks that the staff offers up. When that doesn’t work, (shocker) you try to irritate the creature so that it moves from under the pallet towards the only homey-looking tube in sight. How does one irritate a woodchuck without doing it harm you ask? Duh. You try spritzing its bum with water. Then you try smoking the creature out by having an idiot

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or two exhale large quantities of cigarette smoke behind the creature. After we picked the two light-headed, in more ways than one, smokers off the ground we decided to try loud noises. Unsuccessful. Hmm, this was a stumper. In the end (haha), we pushed the woodchuck bum with a board to encourage his movement into the tube. Success! As he trundled down the tube we quickly lifted the tube up and he slid down into the garbage bin. Whump! Now the action was thick and fast. The yard manager and I lifted the full bin with the tube sticking into the air up into the back of someone’s pickup truck. We would transport the woodchuck offsite to the riverbank. Once we were in the back, the truck slowly maneuvered into traffic. As the yard manager and I congratulated each other on our animal rescue prowess, we held on to either side of the bin and tube. Over the sound of cheering and traffic, however, we discerned another noise. Was that scratching? It was! The burly yard manager took one look at me and said he would, and I quote directly here, “scream like a little girl” if that woodchuck climbed out of the tube. And then we saw them. Long, pointed, purposeful claws were moving out of the top of the tube. Eeeeeee! The yard manager did have the mind power left to smack the side of the tube and we heard a very satisfying thump as the woodchuck got resettled to the bottom of the bin. A couple of minutes later we were at the river setting a very agitated woodchuck free. I am not sure who was happier when that woodchuck ambled off towards the river. But I can tell you that all of us humans were smiling. I wonder if the woodchuck laughs when he tells the story. Serena Kolodka Angelic Healing Practitioner Join Serena in Kauai, Hawaii on October 14th and 15th or October 17th and 18th for a two-afternoon workshop: Angelic Ho'oponopono! Live your fearless truth with Angelic Energy. Call 403-478-7125 for more information.

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From Fear to Joyfulness through Buddhist Meditation By Susan Bixby

As a Little Girl As children we are very vulnerable and we need to be protected; my dad was my protector. Because he was a doctor of tropical medicine, much of my childhood was lived in the tropics. Our brick house in Liberia, West Africa, was close to the jungle and built on pillars to protect us from snakes. Lying in bed at night, I listened to the drums of nearby villages and the cries of wild animals. One day I made the short walk from our house across a field to my dad’s office, and when I walked through the open door I saw a long shiny snake slithering across the cement floor. It fascinated me and I walked toward it. My dad grabbed me. The beautiful snake was a deadly black mamba. I thought my dad would be with me forever. Death was something that terrified me, so I put it out of my mind.

As a Young Woman I married Chris, my childhood sweetheart, (and still cherished partner of 45 years). I moved from my parents’ home to make our family home and my fears moved with me. Soon, we had a daughter, twin boys and the usual family challenges: sleepdeprived nights, sick children, and money constraints. When our children were young, I was in a constant state of tension. I often called my dad for advice. He continued to inject humour and optimism into my life but it was becoming difficult to pretend that my life was a fairy tale. I was an emotional yo-yo. When conditions were good, I was ecstatic. When they weren’t, I was disturbed.

Meeting Buddhism This was our life when my husband and I met Lama Ole Nydahl and Diamond Way Buddhism in 1994. Even though I had no interest in religion, we decided to go to his talk at the University of Calgary.

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That evening changed our lives forever. I was blown away by the intense feelings of joy invoked in me by the Lama. I couldn’t stop smiling. I listened intently to what he said: Our true essence cannot be harmed; it is fearlessness, joy and compassion that has never been born and will never die. When we believe that our bodies, thoughts and feelings have a permanent reality, then happiness is elusive. We live in fear of losing what we have and of avoiding what we don’t want. This described me to a tee. I had been blinded by fear, old habits and set ideas. I needed outside protection, my dad, because I couldn’t see the strength within. Twenty-one years of meditation have cleared the clouds that obscured my view.

As a Grandmother I held my first grandson, Max, named after my father, an hour after he was born. I looked at his perfect, tiny, vulnerable body: a body that needed protection in order to survive. I know that I’m able to do what is necessary to protect him and my other grandchildren when my mind is clear. Through my meditation practice I have a deeper understanding of protection. Children need to be protected from bodily and mental harm. But as we grow and mature we come to realize that our biggest enemy is not what goes on outside, it’s what goes on in our minds. We need tools to protect ourselves from identifying with disturbing emotions and stiff ideas. The meditations taught in our Diamond Way Centers teach us how to create a space between our awareness and these disturbances so that we don’t engage them. Instead we watch them rise and pass away. I see how my state of mind impacts others. I know now that I am responsible for my own happiness and I have the choice of seeing problems as obstacles or opportunities. When I see them as opportunities I go through my days with a light shield protecting me. Even the biggest sourpusses or angry drivers shine back at us when we greet them with a genuine smile!

In early 2006, my ninety-one-year-old father was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. He died two months later in a hospital in Los Angeles and my childhood protector was gone. My husband, sister and I, all practicing Buddhists, were at his side fifteen minutes after the doctor pronounced him dead. His face looked tense. We told him what he had told us for many long years: that everything would be all right, that he would be fine. We told him to go to the light: that everything was a projection of his mind and that there was nothing to fear. His face relaxed. I looked at his old face, now peaceful. After so many years of having my dear old dad as my protector, I knew absolutely that the protection was inside of me and that I could let him go. Death no longer frightened me. When we left his side it was well after midnight. Through the neon-lit streets we walked and ran back to our hotel. We were crying, smiling, and laughing. There is nothing to fear.

Buddhist Basics Thursdays in September, 7-8pm Talks/Q&A/Tea Sept 3: Buddha’s Life/Our Life Sept 10: Karma, It’s Not What You Think or Is It? Sept17: Why Meditate? Sept 24: Buddhist Practice in Daily Life Suggested Donation 1 talk/$5 or 4 talks/$15 diamondway.org/calgary 587-329-1416 7628 Elbow Drive SW

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Made Foods:

Serving Nutritious and Delicious Meals-to-Go By Melanie Darbyshire

In the never-ending quest to lead a healthier, happier and more balanced lifestyle, the food we eat is often our primary concern. Integral to overall health and wellness, fresh, season-al, locallyproduced meals are what we want most. Often though, daily life gets in the way and we end up eating food that is fast and convenient but less than optimal. So wouldn't it be nice if you didn't have to sacrifice your time and energy to enjoy afford-able, farm-to-table food, in the comfort of your home, without having to prepare it yourself? Well now you can. Introducing Made Foods, a company that is set to redefine takeout in Calgary and simultaneously make life a little more enjoyable for us all. The brainchild of local entrepreneurs Blake Ducharme, Chris Dobson and Andrea Harl-ing, Made Foods will sell packaged meals-to-go that are not only delicious and nutritious, but environmentally-conscious as well. With their experience in the hospitality industry, Ducharme and Dobson have teamed up with Executive Chef Harling, previously of Brava Bistro, to bring their unique idea to life. “Why compromise your health or your time?” asks Dobson. “We believe in food that has truth to it. We value food that is fresh, seasonally grown and produced close to home from the farmers we know. By supporting local farmers we support a culture of bringing friends and family together with nourishing food; supporting one another to live happy, healthy lives.” With Made Stores opening this fall (in Garrison Woods, Willow Park and West Springs), customers will be able to stop in at any time of day and choose as many meals as they’d like from the vast menu. Online orders can be made via the website (www. madefoods.com) and de-livery will soon be available. Working with a nutritionist, Harling has sourced most of the food from local suppliers in Alberta and B.C. “A globally inspired and locally acquired menu,” as she describes it. “Having integrity and truth behind what we’re doing is so important to us. We’re actually doing what we say we’re doing. We buy our food from local farmers and producers. It’s real food.” Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snack and smoothie options abound. From the B2 Breakfast Bar (toasted almonds, bananas,

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oats, fermented honey, vanilla, pumpkin seeds, blueberries and coconut milk), to the Seared Tuna Tacos (Pacific albacore tuna, citrus crust, shaved cabbage, avocado lime, spicy lime yogurt, salsa fresca, corn tortillas, cilantro) for lunch, to the Stuffed Chicken Breast (Maple Hill chicken breast, goat feta, roasted peppers, spinach, toasted farro, lemon, garlic, parsley, charred asparagus) and the Squash and Pumpkin Seed Risotto (local kabocha squash, leeks, garlic, shallots, pumpkin seeds, risotto, cold pressed can-ola oil, crispy sage, maple gastrique) for dinner, the menu includes many gluten free, dairy free, vegan and vegetarian options. “It’s difficult for people with dietary restrictions to find good fast food,” says Ducharme. “We’ve kept them in mind when creating our menu.” All food will be prepared at the central kitchen, meaning quality control will be at its high-est. In single-serving biodegradable packages, meals will include a list of ingredients, nutritional information, and instructions on how to heat. They can be stored in the refrigerator for up to five days. “We’ll have a menu change every season,” explains Harling. “The bonus is that you nev-er get bored of eating the same thing, as well as the food is as fresh as possible, so you get the most nutrients out of it.” Local community-minded, Made Foods aims to give back in many ways. “We are very passionate about giving back,” says Ducharme. “Not just with our various charitable programs, but also by setting people up with a healthier lifestyle. We want to make it easy for people to eat well on the go and hope to educate the masses on the personal and community benefits of eat-ing local, sustainable foods in the process.” Made Foods’ charitable programs include a farm-to-school program which will work to provide school lunches for local children who often go to school without them. They have also arranged with the Calgary Food Bank to donate all unsold food that is close to expiring but has not yet expired. “We are very excited to work with Made Foods,” says Cindy Drummond, Food Industry Coordinator at the Calgary Food Bank. “We receive 80 per cent of our overall food donations from the food industry and we’re always looking to explore opportunities where we can defer fresh, quality food from landfills.” The passion for Made Foods is obvious when you speak with Harling. “I’m excited for this,” she smiles. “I really hope that it’s going to help change the way people eat on the go.” Come this Fall, as Calgarians begin to choose Made Foods to fulfill their nourishment needs, no doubt it will.

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How it Works: Live Local, Give Local

100 Women Who Care Calgary is a local grassroots organization that brings women and local causes together in a simple, powerful way. By Alison Lapczuk

Being a stay-at-home mom to two little boys, age 18 months and 3 years old, I was run off my feet and rarely got to sleep a night through. I realized that my visions of modelling charity to my kids might have to take the back-burner, because who has the time? But I really did care. And I really did want to help in a way that my kids could be proud of. And, let's face it, as someone who had left a career six months earlier to stay at home with my kids, I wanted to show my little guys that their mom could be a leader in the community - even though she no longer earned a paycheck. So, when I walked into a meeting of 100 Women Who Care Windsor / Essex County (Ontario), having been invited by my mother-in-law, Donna Lapczuk, it lit up a spark inside of me that would soon become a wildfire. These ladies met just four times per year, for only 1 hour. In that hour, they learned about 3 amazing local charities (spoken for by other members of the group that had put in the nomination), they jointly selected one of those charities and promptly each wrote a cheque - directly to that charity - for $100. When one hundred women get together and each give $100, why that's a $10,000 donation. In just one hour. I was floored. I knew I had to bring this concept to Calgary. I no longer cared about the time I lacked, nor the sleep I lacked. I loved the power of the group, the voices of the women taking matters into their own hands. This just had to happen in Calgary. By September, I was buying a domain name, creating a Facebook page and starting the recruiting process. That's when my co-founder, Christy Parker, came into the picture. It was as if the stars aligned to bring her in at just the right moment! The date was already booked, Nov. 4, 2013 at the Marriott Hotel Downtown Calgary. I was working on the website (something I had never done before). The only thing I had up online was a Facebook page. Christy had heard of the launch of the Kingston chapter of 100 Women Who Care and was similarly inspired to

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Bring together 100 + women in Calgary who care about local community causes and want to help. Meet for an hour. Jointly select a local charity or not-for-profit organization. Each write a $100 cheque to the selected organization and watch how the group’s commitment turns into a $10,000+ donation. Invite the recipient charity to our next meeting to update us on the impact our dollars made. Do that four times a year and witness how $40,000 can improve the lives of our neighbours when placed in the hands of deserving local agencies working to serve the community.

get one going in Calgary. She found my Facebook page and the rest is history. A beautiful partnership ensued and five weeks later, we raised nearly $8000 for the Hera Program at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Calgary. To date, we have held seven 1-hour meetings and have given Calgary charities a total of over $100,000! Visit our website to view the charities we have supported. 100 Women Who Care Calgary is NOT a charity, we are a vehicle. Donations are 100% direct to charity. We have no bank account or employees because we don't collect, spend or donate anything - it is our members who make the donations directly to the local charities. The goal of the group is to support the wonderful work that our local charities do in funds, exposure and awareness in a minimal amount of time. We have an amazing team of volunteers along with the assistance of some very generous sponsors. 100 Women Who Care Calgary is proud to say that we were the first chapter of it's kind in Western Canada. The concept is simple and effective and we encourage members of every city and town to seek out or start a local chapter and make a difference in your community today. Alison Lapczuk Co-Founder, 100 Women Who Care Calgary Proud to be ‘1 in 100’! www.100womencalgary.com Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL

If I should die before I wake... I hope you will call Dearly DeParty to help with the arrangements! By Sue Styles You may not be familiar with the term 'death literacy', but it is at the core of purpose for new company Dearly DeParty. A fun play on the solemn phrase ‘Dearly Departed’, founders Janine Violini and Jamie Whittaker found there was a big hole in a (excuse the pun) life and death situation! A shift has happened over the last 100 years and it has not been good for our psychology around death. Society as a whole, they say, is just not having conversations around death. They also find that even when dialogue is opened up people’s responses often include “O don’t want to talk about that” and they say we have become distanced from death - which has a major impact on our decisions and reactions to life! We have opportunities to grieve loss quite often says Jamie; “losing a friend to a new marriage, a teacher upon graduation, fellow employees when a lay-off is announced are all forms of death that we could be handling a lot better!”, she believes. It all started when they got the idea that funerals could be more meaningful if we put a little more thought into what would benefit our loved ones and if we could be prepared – not just in the financial way - but in the relationship and emotional way. Janine had just begun thinking along these lines when good friend and long-time neighbor Jo passed away. A single lady in her sixties, Jo had made an impact in her neighborhood, with the children that she had grown to know and even with pets whose names she remembered. When her time came, her family went through the traditional funeral but it left her acquaintances in the dark and missing the popular school teacher who used to walk up the street on Saturday mornings in her pj's drinking coffee and just enjoying a day off. Janine reached out to the neighbors and arranged a remembrance that included a front yard PJ party! The people in the neighborhood loved it and grew even closer as a community. Along with some special touches they all took home little bags of poppy seeds in remembrance of her lovely garden and even two years later, their gardens show the evidence of a life well remembered.

a seminar, or a workshop, to consider what makes up our personality, what will be the things that friends and family cherish when we are gone, and what is truly important to us - the most wonderful outcomes happen!” There are so many great ideas that can prepare a meaningful funeral - but even more so, a meaningful existence. One of the outcomes Janine and Jamie have experienced with their clients has been in talking about death and what is important to them for their loved ones - it ironically affects the lives they live NOW. Once participants attend a seminar or even do private consulting with Dearly DeParty they gain insight into their lives right now. Are they living the life they want? What would need to change to result in a life well spent for them? These are the big questions of life and tap into one’s core values. Through their in-depth research Janine and Jamie have found that there are resources available like local Death Café’s where anyone can just go and talk about death; there are death midwives available too - bet you never heard of that before! Rather than leaving loved ones impaired by grief, there is an alternative. It begins with being open to having conversations around the subject of death; a cognitive shift can uncover surprises and rewards! “Very often we are making decisions based on conversations that we are just not having” Janine explains, “- they are just thoughts in our head that go around and around.” To gain some information and education that recognizes the symbolic deaths we experience in our everyday lives is a good start, and then to be open to thinking what would be important when we leave and even plan our funeral now can be a freeing and insightful activity. One of the workshops they offer is called Get Your Crows In A Row - and that is exactly it. Death Literacy isn’t a new thing, it has been around since the beginning of time, but in our evolution of becoming more material focused than relationship focused we may have lost some necessary skills. Dearly DeParty not only challenges us to think about how authentically we are living our life, but also what we can do now that will make it easier for others later. After all, there are only two things in life that are certain Sue Styles International Speaker & Business Coach for Entrepreneurs www.suestyles.com

“It's the little things that family and people cherish”, says Janine, “and when we take a conscious moment, an evening,

Fall 2015

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Cash-flow Conscientiousness Can Equal Happiness By Wendy Olson-Brodeur

Free your mind, body and soul let us save you stress, time and money! A Financial Divorce Specialist can: • educate you on your options. • assist you in complicated processes such as True Income, Back support, etc. • analyze your past, present and future values. • prepare your proposals for support and division of assets. A Mediator can • help you negotiate a fair deal based on educated financial decisions. A Certified Financial Planner can: • Offer you Financial Planning for your future • Provide Insurance quotes to cover support interruption such as death, disability, critical illness, accident etc.

www.tfds.ca 403-873-0292 • wendy@tfds.ca Centre 70, Box 133 Suite 120, 7015 Macleod Trail SW

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Are you longing for improved wellness? a happier relationship? more energy? work life balance? a more fulfilling career? joy and laughter in your life? Contact Wellness Coach Joyce Sunada today!

joyce@joyfulendeavours.com 403-863-4228

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We all know that happiness can mean contentment, pleasure, delight, joy, and well-being. The problem is how do you achieve “HAPPY” when you are either at the beginning, middle or end of Separation and Divorce? Did you know that happiness can be a chosen emotion. When you wake up in the morning, you have the option to choose happy. I’m not saying it’s always easy but it can be done. Start with setting your intention......”HAPPYness today”. How can I chose happy or perhaps; cooperation, listening, empathy, understanding a different point of view, or not putting up with control or abuse. It’s YOUR choice. I would suggest getting a professional coach because you will have someone in your corner to help you with getting through your situation so you have an easier time choosing happy. Sometimes, they can even help you get to happy faster than going it on your own. I’ve always told my son and daughter that it is up to them to choose happy, that no one else can complete them or make them whole, or choose for them. It’s really all up to them, 100%. Then they can share that happiness with many. First, start with looking at your problem. What is the root cause of this divorce? Once it is final, will that change your emotion? Will you be happy.....er? What do you need to do to be happy again? If it is about money, here is our perspective and what you can do to move forward. Your biggest asset is your ability to earn an income. What will you do, or change? Perhaps it is time to go back to school or upgrade. Did you know you might be able to work this into your negotiations. Perhaps, you will need Spousal support for a while. Understanding this, can be emotionally freeing. Don’t be happy just because your “getting them”. We have found it’s much more satisfying when you can be self sufficient and become cash-flow conscious. This is a big step in living in the present and choosing happiness. You may need to figure out what income is going to be used for calculations. If this comes from self employment, you may be happy to learn it is often more than the Line 150 on your NOA (Tax Return). We do add back items for the purpose of support calculations, like amortization. You should get an expert to help you with this. You may also be happy or not to know that “Defined Benefit Pensions” are often valued at more than the statement shows. Again, you need a professional to help you with this. Too often we hear clients choosing to be vindictive or get back at the spouse but when it’s all said and done will that really make you happy? Will you really be HAPPY in the next chapter of your life? We hope so and we are here to help you do so....at least with your money aspects. Wendy Olson-Brodeur Certified Financial Planner, Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist and Registered Mediatior www.tfds.ca Trifecta Magazine MIND | BODY | SOUL

Giving Freely is a Choice By Deborah Nichol

Recently I was pulling up to park along the street, when I noticed a young man sitting on the sidewalk with a small sign that said he was travelling through but didn’t have any money. I paid my parking and on the way back stopped and gave him some money. He was so appreciative, he said he would not be buying alcohol or anything like that, I smiled, because I didn’t actually think that at all. However when I shared the story at an event, I was criticized for giving money, because this person was surely going to spend it on something he shouldn’t.

“Kindness in words creates confidence Kindness in thinking creates profoundness Kindness in giving creates love” ~Lao Tzu My question to you, is can you give freely? Let’s have a look at how you view your part in life; 1.

Do you give to Charity? Any Charity or only specific ones?

Do you give to homeless people? Or people asking for money?

What stops you from giving money to people on the street?

Do you judge them? (e.g. get a job you lazy so and so)

Do you feel sorry for people in need or can you empathize with them and give to them without judging?

Can you imagine, walking a mile in another’s shoes?

If you saw a street person with a sign that said, I need money to buy cigarettes and booze, would you give to them? Why? Why not?

Do you give freely?

On my way out of the store, I passed by the young man again, he was still sitting there, he saw me and smiled, and I smiled too and gave him the change I received from my purchase. I asked him where he was headed, he told me that he and some friends were travelling and he had either lost his wallet or it was taken. His friends had gone on and he was just trying to get enough money to sort it all out. He was a genuine, kind soul and although I hadn’t given him much, I knew in my heart he was genuine in his thanks. I wished him well and I was on my way. I have thought about this young man a few times, I hope that he was able to find his way. It was a reminder to me that we are all so very blessed. Almost the only time I would not give money easily and freely is, if I were being robbed. If you can make someone’s day a little brighter, would you do it? Most of us would immediately answer yes to this,

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but it can get tricky when we add in all the factors. We all have a choice to give freely or not, when you give from your heart, what that person does from then on is out of your control, you gave freely and you can feel good about it. We cannot control the actions of others, nor can you make someone “do the right thing” because the right thing is different for everyone. We are not the judge and jury, it is much better to see into the person’s soul, be kind and empathetic of their circumstances, for unless we have walked in their shoes we really don’t know why they are where they are. But they have crossed our path for a reason. Everyone has an opportunity to be kind in the moment, it doesn’t have to be about giving money. It can be about giving someone a prayer, a smile, a hot cup of coffee, a leftover meal. It’s the intention behind the gift, our intention speaks volumes about who we are. What we see in the world around us is a direct reflection of how we view life. If you see a guy whose teeth are missing asking for money. If you judge him and think, get a job buddy, you judged him for being lazy and useless to society and so you walk on by. Have you missed an opportunity? Or can you for a moment put a smile on the toothless guy face? You can dig deep and reach that very part of us that is vulnerable, the part that feels good to reach out to another. When someone who is down on their luck, reaching out and giving a hand up can change the way that person views society. We all need to look after one another, it is one of the reasons we are here having a human experience. What could be more human than helping another? Sometimes it is a great experience to wear rose colored glasses, to see the ways in which you can contribute and make the world a better place, and it doesn’t hurt that you will feel good along the way. So, what are you receiving?

“For it is in giving that we receive” ~Francis of Assisi

Deborah Nichol, Intuitive Healer Healing Heart Wellness

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Falling: An Experiential Form of Surrender By Christina Marlett

Have you ever given any serious thought to falling? I have. In fact, I’ve designed part of my signature workshop around it. It’s amazing what we can learn from falling when we’re mindful about it. If you think about it, falling is surrendering to gravity. Imagine the bright yellow poplar leaves of autumn. They’ve been attached to the tree all spring and summer. They’ve been nourished by the tree’s nutrients and in turn, have created breath for the tree. Eventually, though, their cycle comes to the point where they must let go. A gust of wind comes along and the leaf releases its attachment. Gravity becomes the strongest force, calling the brilliant yellow leaf into the Earth’s cradle. It’s ready to move into a new part of the cycle where it will be transformed into something different. In our lives, we often equate falling to failure. It’s heavy. It’s hard to recover. There is often fear of getting hurt. It can feel permanent. However, there’s another way to look at it. I learned that new perspective from my brilliant body. Whenever I facilitate my workshop “Free Yourself to Be Yourself”, I get to participate as well; one of the perks! I learn something new about myself every time. I invite participants to become curious in their bodies about falling. Usually, a look of trepidation (or terror) passes over their faces. I remind them that it’s all about honouring their bodies and they can solve this movement puzzle in whatever way feels good to them. We can surrender to gravity in many ways. We can let limbs rise and drop. We can feel the heaviness in our head and release the neck muscles. Same thing in the spine. There is a multitude of ways to surrender to gravity. I play some “falling music” and the exploration begins. The first time I did this exercise myself, I launched by body to the ground with gusto. I flopped and flailed and fell. If I was going to fall, I was Going. To. Fall. After the movement exploration, I have participants get into dyads so they can unpack all the rich information their bodies

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have just offered. I ask what they’ve noticed and then provide a metaphor so they can go deeper into the discovery. Here’s what I learned about myself from that first experience. I discovered that I was an all-or-nothing kind of participant. If I was instructed to surrender, then I would do it as enthusiastically and energetically as possible. I would make this experience count, no matter what. Do you see the irony here? That’s not surrender at all! That’s trying too hard, which is the complete opposite. When I noticed that, I was tempted to judge myself. I wanted to try harder to not try so hard. However, I’ve done a great deal of personal work with my brilliant body, so my reaction to myself was, “Aw. You are so adorable. Look at you and your enthusiasm!” And that’s where I discovered real surrender. I could have fought against what I learned about myself and tried to fix it. Instead, I surrendered to this quirky quality in me and embraced it. I gave as much love as possible to myself in that vulnerable moment. And guess what? The next time I explored falling in my workshop, I showed up differently. I discovered a more gently approach. It didn’t happen because I set a goal to force myself to change an undesirable personality quality. It happened because I surrendered to who I was in that moment and embraced all of me with love and gentleness. Like the yellow leaf, I moved into a new part of my cycle. Would you like to see what shows up for you in the falling exercise? The best part is that it’s a unique experience because there’s no one quite like you. To do this dancing discovery for yourself, go to http:// danceuglydanceawkward.com/falling-video-gift. There’s a guided video waiting for you. See what you discover through your brilliant body about Falling and the Art of Surrender. Christina Marlett Speaker, Facilitator, Body Awareness Coach Founder of Dance Ugly Dance Awkward www.danceuglydanceawkward.com

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Learning to Love: Burlesque and Body Politics By Ruby Demure

Five years ago I got on stage for the first time and started peeling off pieces of clothing - deliberately, seductively, confidently. I fell in love with burlesque. I fell in love with my sensuality, sexuality, curves, the way my body could move. The way I could choose the story I wanted to tell – do I want to make people laugh, cry, think, question, or do I just want to ooze sexuality? The feeling I get from getting on stage and performing is indescribable. And in finding burlesque I found a community of individuals who are entirely inclusive. A community that embraces sensuality, sexuality, is inclusive of all genders, backgrounds, races, and body types. I believe the burlesque world in Calgary should remain a safe space for all. We do, after all, invite the audience into our private lives when we get up on stage. We ask with our performance for them to enter into a vulnerable and intimate space. We invite them to take a journey with us while the music lasts. The audience in turn drinks us in: our bodies, our movement, our lines, our intentions, our story. We offer ourselves, and the audience accepts. The audience offers itself, and we accept. But, no matter how hard I try, I still don’t love my body; I have had an extremely complex and volatile relationship with it for many years. Growing up in the competitive ballet world I learned at a very young age to place importance on thigh gaps, protruding ribs, and collar bones for days. I was lucky when I was dancing; I was thin and fell well within an acceptable weight for a ballerina without having to try much. I have a best friend who was the most captivating dancer to watch, but she was muscular and had a D cup since she was wee. I remember her sleeping in garbage bags and restricting calories for the week leading up to shows and exams in order to drop 10 pounds. I stopped dancing ballet when I was 21 in large part because my body could no longer take the stress, and it was shortly after I stopped dancing that my body changed. I am now 31 and my body would be unrecognizable to 21 year old me; I have boobs, I have hips, and there hasn’t been a thigh gap for much of the last 10 years. To add a layer to this story, after I stopped dancing ballet, I went to university and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Women’s Studies. It was here that I learned the theory and academic reasons behind the incredible importance Canadian and American societies place on a woman’s physical appearance. How the beauty ideal prescribed to women in our society demands she strive for an unattainable target –

Fall 2015

and this is on purpose, isn’t it? So that she will never actually attain perfection and so then can never become dominant. We wouldn’t want to upset the heteronormative balance that we have worked so hard to create! So we ask women to be skinny, but not too skinny, to be sexy but not too sexual, to be pretty, but not too pretty, to be smart, but not too smart. By creating this dichotomy we are still able to blame women for getting raped (she was too sexy), we are able to pay women less than a man in the same position (she isn’t that smart); and then we are able to keep the status quo. I can rattle off theories that back it all up from Judith Butler to Laura Mulvey to Gloria Steinem and so through the knowledge of the theory I should be able to actively counteract what has become the norm. I wish I could declare that I do not fall victim to the pressures of beauty that Western culture places on me as a woman. And yet, I look at myself in the mirror every day and long for my 18 year old body again. I see the layer of fat that has become so comfortable living on my bones and I want to send it an eviction notice. I wish my thighs would stop groping each other publically and go their separate ways. But let me tell you this: when I am on stage all of that disappears. It all melts away, and I am able enjoy being in a committed, surreal, sensual, vulnerable, powerful, exciting, absolutely consensual relationship with my audience for the four and a half minutes that the music lasts. So I will continue to work on learning to love my imperfect body. And until then, I will thank my lucky stars that I have burlesque, and work on loving all 165 pounds of myself four and a half minutes at a time. Ruby Demure is the president of the board of directors for the Calgary International Burlesque Festival. This year’s festival runs October 16-18, 2015, for details visit www.cibf.ca She is a local burlesque performer and producer and continues to work on loving every inch of herself one stage at a time.

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Calgary Run Guide Fall 2015 Upcoming Runs & Races Sept 6, 2015

Spruce Meadows Summer's Gone Run On

Sept 12, 2015 5 Peaks Central Alberta Race 5 Sept 12, 2015 Dino Dash Sept 12, 2015 Sheep River Road Race Sept 12, 2015 Springbank Park Race Sept12, 2015 Run for Little Ones Sept 19, 2015 Neon Run Calgary Sept 20, 2015 Terry Fox Run Calgary Sept 20, 2015 Rock the House Run Sept 26, 2015 MEC Calgary Race Six Sept 26, 2015 Run For Calgary Sept 27, 2015 Calgary Heartbeat Run Oct 2, 2015

Ambulance Chasers Charity Run

Oct 3, 2015

Harvest Half Marathon

Oct 3, 2015

CRR River Park Classic XC

Oct 3, 2015

Spruce Meadows Oktoberfest Run

Oct 3, 2015

MEC Calgary Fall Trail Run

Oct 4, 2015

CIBC Run for the Cure

Oct 11, 2015

Grizzly Ultra Marathon

Oct 17, 2015

Robert Hamilton Memorial Race

Oct 17, 2015

Banff Ekiden Relay

Oct 18, 2015

MEC Calgary Race Seven

Oct 18, 2015

CRR Confederation Park XC Relay

Oct 25, 2015

Kathy's Run for Pancreatic Cancer Calgary

Nov 7, 2015

Recovery Run

Nov 7, 2015

CRR Okotoks XC

Nov 14, 2015 Sight Night Calgary Nov 15, 2015 Last Chance Half Marathon Nov 21, 2015 CRR Edworthy XC Dec 4, 2015

Spruce Meadows Dashing Through the Glow

Dec 12, 2015 CRR Silver Springs XC Dec 12, 2015 Run Santa Run Fall 2015

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