ISSUE 02/2016
26
Moving Forward With Vision
20
God Healed My Son...
68
Stories of Hope (Project Rescue)
89
Why Would God Ask Abraham to Sacrifice Isaac?
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12
www.trinity.sg
Connect with us at
www.trinity.sg
Find out how you can
> Connect with People
> Meet Needs by
Get to Know Jesus
Serving the Church
Our Celebration Services
Serving the Community (through Care Community Services Society (CCSS))
Our Carecells
Serving the Nations
> Develop Your Potential Leader’s Empowerment and Discipleship (LEAD) Life Skills Seminar AlphaTrack TCA College
Find us on social media! Trinity Christian Centre
@trinity.sg
@PDomYeo
Have you been
blessed by the
Trinitarian
magazine?
Over the years, the Trinitarian magazine has blessed many readers with articles about God and how He works powerfully in the lives of His people, inspiring many to walk in greater faith. Distributed for free, the Trinitarian is a magazine that is passed from household to household. We invite you to support this publication by advertising with us! Available online at no additional cost, your ads can go even further. For advertising rates, contact Jessie Chew (6304 7721, jessiechew@trinity.sg).
Thank you in advance for your partnership to shout out God’s faithfulness, one issue at a time.
ÂŽ
Out of reach hotel power point locations
Work from the comfort of your hotel bed while charging your devices.
K
No more worries about running out of power or fussing over the location of your power points.
RE
Trade Mark No: T1409494E
P
Tredan Connections Pte Ltd
8 Lorong Bakar Batu #04-07 Singapore 348743
Tel: (65) 6741 1597 Fax: (65) 6742 7242 Email: sales@tredan.com.sg Website: www.tredan.com.sg
A Quarterly News Magazine by Trinity Christian Centre Advisor
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
advertising sales & admin
Pastor Dominic Yeo
Pastor Dominic Yeo Pastor Dennis Lum Dr Richard Goetz Amy Lin Browyn Lea Cindy K. Sproles Cherie Ong Dave Willis Hannah Lee Kelli Mahoney Linda LaBissoniere
Jessie Chew
Chief Editor
Pastor Janice Chng Editors
Diana Lim Jessie Chew EDITORIAL TEAM
Carol Lim Daniel Koh Zhiguo Hannah Tan June Teh Lye Hui Xian Miranda Zhang Nyon Yit An Rachel Lim Rachel King Rebecca Vinod
For sales enquiries
Tel: 6304 7721 Email: jessiechew@trinity.sg mailing address
Singapore Post Centre Post Office PO Box 616 Singapore 914021 WEBSITE
www.trinity.sg contributing photographers
IGNYTE Photography Team Noelle Lim Pufferfish Studio Renatus Photography Twenty4Frames
connect@trinity.sg
Designers
Ease Communications
The Trinitarian is published quarterly by Trinity Christian Centre. Company registration number 19780291H MICA (P) 37/04/2016 Printed in Singapore by Oxford Graphic Printers Pte Ltd License number L004/02/2016 All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without express written permission is prohibited. Opinions and views expressed does not necessarily constitute the official stand of the church.
ISSUE 02/2016
CONTENTS 33 26
ENVISION
MOVING Forward WITH VISION
Discovering God’s Vision for Our Lives Through the Life of Abraham
31
33 36
THE #JUBILEE50K CHALLENGE
Continue Moving Forward as an Intentional Blessor!
20
20
42
94 98
Caught on Trinity’s Camera
Carecell Hosts
HONORING OUR PARENTS...BY BEING HONORABLE PARENTS
46
50
HONORING OUR PARENTS... IN OUR YOUTH
How Christian Teens Can Get Along With Mom and Dad
Trinitarian
HONORING OUR PARENTS...WHEN WE’RE GROWN UP We Still Have to Honor Our Parents When We Grow Up
54
HONORING OUR PARENTS...AS A CHILD 10 Ways We Can Honor Mummy and Daddy
REAL LIFE MIRACLES Trinitarian Hero
HONOR: A CHILD’S PRIVILEGE
How Can You Avoid Provoking Your Child to Anger?
UP CLOSE
God Healed My Son…
FOCUS
26
HONORING OUR PARENTS...AFTER MARRIAGE
6 Keys to Having a Healthy Relationship with In-Laws
56
HONORING OUR PARENTS...WHEN THEY’RE ELDERLY Treat Elderly Parents with Dignity Caring for a Treasure
Nurturing The Future Today Singapore Paya Lebar
•
Robin Close
•
Toa Payoh Indonesia Jakarta, Pluit
Raffles Raffles House Preschool is a premier school that provides quality education programs for children aged 18 months to 6 years old. We are committed to developing the whole child, recognizing the unlimited potential and uniqueness of each child. Our educators are early childhood trained teachers who are caring and dedicated to children’s development. Our goal is to bring forth the best in the children, instilling in them a passion for life-long learning while laying a solid foundation for character excellence in life.
Tel 6742 8015 www.raffleshouse.com “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it.” PROVERBS 22:6
ISSUE 02/2016
CONTENTS 70 89
TOUGH QUESTIONS
TOUGH QUESTIONS ANSWERED
Why Would God Ask Abraham to Sacrifice Isaac?
66
HEARTBEAT
67 70
73 76
MISSIONS AT A GLANCE
An Overview of Trinity’s Missions Outreach from Jan to Mar 2016
73
14 LITTLE HEROES BIG FAITH
Our Children Discover What It Really Means to be a Hero
TRAINING AND CONSULTATION
14
PULSE
UNFOLDING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF EASTER Easter 2016
17
TOMBBR3AKER!
84
LOVE, FEBRUARY
86
OUT OF THIS WORLD
DiscoveryLand’s Easter Event
Discipleship in All Seasons
78
MISSIONS REPORT
A Highlight of Trinity’s Missions Efforts from Jan to Mar 2016
68
MISSION’S CONVENTION 2016
80
MENTORING PASTORS An Update From the M2 Program
STORIES OF HOPE EURASIA AND EUROPE Project Rescue
Reigniting God’s Passionate Heartbeat for the Nations
RAISING SPIRIT-FILLED LEADERS TCA College
82
Family MATTERS CCSS’ Prison CARE Services
Trinitarian
IGNYTE’s Valentine’s Event
Poly Camp 2016
To the Chinese Ministry, Our family would like to thank you all for the love, care, and concern lavished upon my mother when she had an accident a few weeks ago. During the Chinese New Year period, while my parents were walking to their carecell’s CNY celebration, my mother was knocked down by a motorised skate scooter. She was sent to the A&E after falling and hitting the back of her head very hard. When my parents’ leaders and Chinese Ministry friends heard about the incident, they sprung into action. Prayers and encouraging text messages were sent regularly to my mother. The pastors also rushed to visit and make sure she was alright. The big bump on her head subsided after a few weeks. We thank God she is alright and recovered well. Indeed, TCC is “The Caring Church!” With regards, Carol Lim (North District)
Dear Pasto r and Staff Dominic, Pastors, ,
Board, Thank yo u for the flower gif all the pra t. I yers and k ind word apprec iate s. God bless all of you .
Sincerely ,
A g n e s Ta
y (East Dis
tr ic t)
r Sabrina, Dear Pasto service id not close d u o y d la 2016). It I am so g n April 3, (o y a w l a untering in the usu me of enco ti g in z a m was an a inistered. was truly m God and I Regards,
Y von n e Y
a p (DEW M
inistr y)
Dear Pastor Dominic and Pastoral Staf f, I have been greatly blessed since com ing to Trinity in 2007. Thank you for all of the birthday greetings sent over the year s; I am happy to make this place my hom e church. I will cont inue to walk with the Lord and serve Him faithfully. Thank you all and God bless. Sincerely, Ron nie Ho (Nor th Distr ict)
Thank You! Send your appreciation note to connect@trinity.sg
• 12 •
Senior pastor’s message
Dear Trinitarians, May and June are special months in Singapore, a time when we celebrate parenthood. Schoolchildren dabble with paints and glue to create thank-you cards. Older ones buy gifts and treat their parents to sumptuous, multi-course meals. Grandparents are also showered with affection as the generations come together to celebrate the family unit. The concept of honoring our parents is reflected in almost every culture on the planet. From Asia to the Americas, Europe to Africa, it is a value woven into the very fabric of society. While true, it’s alarming that stories of dishonor are becoming commonplace in both Eastern and Western cultures. The media encourages children to “fight for their rights.” Open rebellion against one’s parents is seen as an acceptable and admirable way to assert independence. It’s heartbreaking to hear how elderly parents are being abused by children who view them as a burden. While the world may view honoring our parents as old-fashioned, we as Christians must stand firm on this value because it is a commandment that God expects us to obey. In Exodus 20:12 we are told to, “Honor [our] father and your mother, so that [we] may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving [us].” Notice how the Fifth Commandment doesn’t say, “Honor your father and mother when you feel like it,” nor does it say, “Honor your father and mother only when they are good to you.” God expects us to honor our parents in all circumstances because our parents gave us the gift of life. Therefore, whether we are 5 or 55, we will never outgrow God’s command to treat our parents with kindness and dignity. Honoring our parents isn’t an attitude reserved solely for Mother’s/Father’s Day; it is a lifestyle that must be cultivated and lived out daily. Whenever I’m in Singapore, I make it a point to honor my mum by driving her out to the nearest bus stop (instead
of letting her walk there), having dinner with her on nights when I know she’ll be alone, or buying groceries back for her. Honor doesn’t require grand gestures; it can be as simple as caring for the little things in life. Follow this commandment won’t be easy. There will be times when our parents will rub us the wrong way, upset, and anger us. Instead of reacting negatively towards them, chose to react with grace because honor pleases God. Discover how to honor your parents in every season of life on pg 33 and “… live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” As we spend time reflecting on our relationship with our parents, it’s also important to reflect on our relationship with God at midpoint of the year – to remember what He wants to do for and through us in 2016. Many of us left Watchnight Service charged up by His promises and resolved to live with vigor for the things of God. As the weeks and months go by, we find ourselves reverting to our old ways. Some of us have encountered challenges that cause us to question whether His promises can really come to pass. We have become tired, been burned, and burned out. Friends, know that God doesn’t want you to live this way. Instead of dwelling in what we see and feel, it is important to fix our eyes back to Him. If you and I are going to lay hold of God’s promises for our lives, we cannot allow doubt to shock us, fear to paralyze us, pride to pull us back, or apathy to stop us in our tracks. Find out how you can keep “Moving Forward with Vision” (pg 26) and enter into your God-given destiny. Looking forward and moving forward with you,
• 13 •
pulse
UNFOLDING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF
“Alive one day, killed the next, and said to have risen on the third day.” From March 24-27, 2016, Trinitarians and their oikos gathered for a weekend of revelation (of the significance of Easter Weekend), reminder (of God’s sacrificial love), and rejoicing (of the victory and hope that we have in Jesus). Rachel Lim reports.
• 14 •
pulse
other as Christ loved us (John 13:34).
Unfolding the Significance of the Last Supper “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me. This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” (Luke 22:19, 20)
Ginny Guan shared how her oikos was touched by the message. “Many people have tried to share the Gospel with my oikos, Shan Shan. I, too, shared my experience, and about God’s love, to her several times this year. During the Maundy Thursday service, I simply told her that Jesus loves her. When Pastor Dominic made the altar call, and before I could open my mouth to speak to her, she bravely put up her hand and invited Jesus into her life. She told me, ‘I don’t know why I was tearing out of control. I’ve attended other religious activities before but never felt what I felt just now.’”
Unfolding the Significance of the Cross
On Maundy Thursday, Pastor Dominic Yeo led the congregation to understand the significance of the Last Supper.
“But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
It’s no coincidence that the Last Supper occurred around the same time as the Passover. The Passover – a commemoration of God’s liberation of the Israelites from Egypt – was a time when the Jewish people celebrated freedom from slavery. Through the Last Supper, Jesus introduced a new parallel: freedom from sin through the giving of His body and blood.
Good Friday and Easter Saturday were dedicated to unpacking God’s ultimate plan for redeeming mankind. By journeying through prophesies recorded in the book of Isaiah, Pastor Wilson Teo shared how God turned the Cross, once a symbol of oppression and cursedness, into a symbol of sacrificial love and the fulfilment of God’s promises for humanity.
With the emblems of communion in hand, Pastor Dominic charged every person to move forward to love one an-
Although Mary, Kew Yoong Sian’s oikos, had been to many church and carecell events, it was during this
• 15 •
message that she finally gave her life to Jesus, touched by the extent of God’s relentless love for her. Desmond Leong was with his family and oikos when the Holy Spirit prompted him to speak to a first-time visitor he noticed at the beginning of service. When service ended, Desmond took a step of faith and spoke to him. He was soon joined by Eugene Cheng, a carecell leader from North District, and, together, they persevered in sharing about Jesus. After 30 minutes of conversing, the visitor shared about his struggles but finally gave his life to Jesus! Thank God for the persistence, faith, and obedience of our Trinitarians!
Unfolding the Significance of the Resurrection “Don’t be alarmed,” [the angel] said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here.” (Mark 16:6)
PULSE
From a reflective and thankful posture, Trinitarians entered Resurrection Sunday with the spirit of jubilation, celebrating that Jesus has conquered the grave; He is alive! Pastors Dominic Yeo and Naomi Dowdy reminded the congregation that, regardless of the circumstances and disappointments of life, we can walk in freedom and victory because the resurrection power that raised Jesus from the dead is still available for our lives today.
“We may be knocked down but Jesus will bring us back up. People may tear us down but Jesus can bring us back up. The world may rip our fortunes away from us but our God will give it back.” – Pastor Naomi Dowdy We thank God for the 11,727 people who joined us for Easter Weekend, of which 127 made decisions to follow Jesus. What a privilege it is to walk in the victory Christ has won for us! • 16 •
PULSE
On March 25, 2015, 348 children and pre-teens came together for DiscoveryLand’s Easter Event. We praise God for 116 first-time visitors (FTVs) and 86 decisions made for Christ! Koh Zhi Guo shares about the event and how several Trinitarians, through caring and connecting with their oikos, led some of them to follow Jesus.
• 17 •
PULSE
“What a glorious day, what a glorious way…” The day began with children jumping and singing to lyrics of Chris Tomlin’s Happy Day. And, oh, what a happy Good Friday it was! Soon, the children and pre-teens rushed to their venues to embark on a new adventure, becoming TombBr3akers! Their quest: to reach and break the tomb. To get to their final destination, the children teamed up to earn puzzle cards that would pave the way. Adorned with Trinity’s VIP sticker, many “Very Important Adventurers” joined in the fun and games that day. Led by their tenacious guides, the children were challenged in tests of mettle and wit. From shooting beanbags, tossing around giant balloons, to deciphering codes, it was an exciting time for everyone.
Although the children tried their hardest, none of the teams could reach the tomb. That’s when Pastors Lee Mei Yee and Joyce Lim shared that there was only one person that could break the tomb: Jesus Christ! Not only that, Jesus also has the power to help them overcome sin, sickness, and failure.
“Oh happy day, happy day, you washed my sins away…” What a happy day it was when Jesus broke out of His tomb and destroyed death once and for all!
• 18 •
Praise God that we are free to live abundantly and free to share the Gospel so that others can join us in singing that, “I will never be the same!”
PULSE
Among the Very Important Adventurers were three friends invited by one of our young Trinitarians, Luke Ong. A gallant 7 year old, Luke invited his classmate, Ayko, her younger brother, Ikki, as well as a former classmate from kindergarten, Shao Hong. Luke’s father, Jimmy Ong from South District, shares how this great family adventure began. “We started setting aside time for family devotion every Saturday morning: having breakfast, sharing how each person’s week went, and praying. During a Family Devotion, everyone shared how they could be a blessing and how they would invite their oikos for the coming Easter presentations. Luke shared that he would invite his friends.” And the Ongs did just that – as a family! Instead of letting Luke connect on his own, and only with his friends, Jimmy did his part by connecting with the friends’ parents. “You need to be intentional in caring and connecting,” he said, “My wife is great in that area.” Tricia, a familiar face to the parents at school, called the parents of Ayko, Ikki, and Shao Hong for permission to bring their children to TombBr3aker. “It’s important for us to honor their place as parents as well as taking care of all the necessary ‘logistics,’” she shared. On the day of TombBr3aker, it was all hands on deck in the Ong household. Tricia prepared and invited Ayko and
Ikki’s family for breakfast. Jimmy drove the “Very Important Adventurers” to church. Even Luke’s four-year old brother, Zacchaeus, played a good host by entertaining everyone in the car! Through the combined effort of the Ong family, both Ayko and Ikki received Christ as their Lord and Savior. After the event, Ayko shared with her mother, “There’s a bigger superhero than any superhero and His name is Jesus Christ!” Recently, Ayko and Ikki’s parents, Walter and Marjolein, contacted Tricia and the Ong family to arrange to have breakfast with them. The Ong family continues to keep in touch with them – and other friends/ children’s friends – because, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!” exclaims Jimmy.
• 19 •
Another Trinitarian on a mission was Joel Ho (age 12). During TombBr3aker, Joel noticed an FTV, Daniel, was looking a bit scared. After asking if he was okay, Joel found out that Daniel had been invited by one of his friends; however that friend didn’t come for the event. Joel decided to “buddy him” for the rest of the time. During the altar call, Joel noticed Daniel raising his hand in response to Jesus. Joel, beaming with joy, accompanied his new friend to the front and later joined Daniel as he made the most important decision of his life. A cheerful Joel share that, “I’m happy my friend is receiving Jesus into his life!”
UPCLOSE
In early 2015, Adrian Tan and his wife, Yvonne, were elated to find out that they would be having their second child. That happiness quickly turned to despair when they discovered that the child was at high risk for Down Syndrome. Faced with the real possibility of terminating the pregnancy, Miranda Zhang discovers how the family’s difficult journey would eventually lead them to find everlasting life.
Troubling News “According to the blood-based OSCAR test, anything below 1:300 is indicative of a high risk. Your result is 1:13 with a 5 percent error. In other words, there is a high chance your child will be born with Down Syndrome.” “Okay…” Yvonne responded weakly. She barely managed to force that word out after hearing the news. I was too stunned to say anything. Our gynecologist continued, “I’ve known you both for a few years now and I’m really sorry to bring you this
• 20 •
news. To obtain a definitive diagnosis of the condition, you could go for a Chronic Villus Sampling Test which is DNA-based and extracts tissue from the placenta. Do you want to go for that? In the meantime, since you’re three months along, you need to think about what you want to do if the second test turns out positive. Would you like to keep the baby or do away with it? You need to decide fast.” Our entire world started to crumble. It was almost impossible to process the flurry of medical terms that were being thrown at us. Our confusion was soon replaced with disbelief.
UPCLOSE
Who am I to play god and decide whether this child should live or die?
interviewees reported leading happy lives. How can we terminate a happy life?” Keeping the child would be a huge lifetime commitment and neither of us was confident we could bear it. We questioned whether we would be able to provide for the child’s entire lifetime. Who would care for the child after we were gone? “This is impossible. We’re a young, healthy couple!”
be strong for her. Perhaps I was still in denial.
“Why is this happening to us?”
Once we got home, we started doing research on Down Syndrome: what it was, the average life expectancy, approximate cost of raising a child with special needs, and the level of support available in Singapore.
“What are we supposed to do?” We just could not accept that our child was going to have Down Syndrome.
Experiencing Heartbreak After the appointment, we went to MacRitchie Reservoir to settle our thoughts. Although Yvonne seemed to take the news well, once we parked the car, her brave face crumbled; she broke down and wept bitterly. It was heart-wrenching to see her in that state and I held back my own tears so that I could
We struggled with our decision to keep our child because there were so many arguments for and against it. “We should choose to focus on the child, not the illness.” “Will keeping our child ruin Giselle’s (our other child) future?” “Raising this child is going to be expensive.” “A research study showed that 97 percent of Down Syndrome
• 21 •
Then came that dreaded question: Should we abort the fetus? Somehow, I knew that letting the baby go was not right. I remember telling Yvonne once, “Who am I to play god and decide whether this child should live or die?” As the pregnancy progressed, the prognosis became increasingly difficult to bear. I am a problemsolver by nature, always able to find answers to whatever comes my way. But, for the first time in my life, I am faced with a situation that had no real solution in sight. Every time I thought about what was happening to us, I broke down. It was the lowest point of my life. Not knowing what else we could do, Yvonne and I scheduled to have the DNA test done. Although we hoped for the best, we also tried very hard to prepare for the worst.
UPCLOSE
An Unexpected Turn During this period, a Christian friend of mine committed to a day of fasting and prayer for our situation. During lunchtime, he visited a church near his office to pray for us during lunchtime. When my friend discovered that the main sanctuary was full, he wandered to the rooftop and found a chapel. He also found an old man playing songs on the harmonica. The old man turned to him and asked, “Son, what can I do for you?” My friend shared how he was looking for a place to pray for a friend whose child had a high chance of having Down Syndrome. After praying together, the old man smiled and said to him, “Go back and wait for the good news.” When my friend told me this, I was skeptical but appreciated that he had gone out of his way for us. Shortly after that, the gynecologist called to let us know that the
second test came back negative – our child wasn’t going to have Down Syndrome! It was a complete turnaround! Our family was overjoyed that the situation had reversed but we completely forgot what my friend had shared earlier. What I thought was the end of a chapter was really the beginning of a new story.
Responding to a Challenge I met up with an old army friend Matthew, who was attending Trinity Christian Centre, to have dinner. During that time, he told me about some of the miraculous things God had done in his life. I was surprised he did that. When he shared Jesus with me a decade ago, I shot back that if he valued our friendship he would choose never to bring up Jesus again. Growing up, I had a bad impression of Christians and was hostile when people tried to share the
• 22 •
Gospel with me. I remember a time when a lady approached me at a bus interchange and said, in a condescending tone, “Buddha didn’t die for you, Jesus died for you!” There was another lady who came to our home every week to share the Gospel with us. Her constant visits left us feeling harassed and my family became cautious towards Christianity. In the past, when Yvonne shared her desire to go to church, I told her that Christianity would be the one thing that would come between our marriage. Although my natural reaction to Matthew should have been hostile, things were different this time. I started to share about my child’s initial diagnosis and how the results of the second Down Syndrome test came back negative after my friend prayed for us. Somehow, I felt that this was not a coincidence, that this God must have heard my friend’s prayer and healed our child. I could not put my finger on the feeling I had but knew that it was getting harder for me to deny the existence of God. Matthew went deeper, asking how long I wanted to wait before allowing God into my life. “I think there’s more to it than what you experienced. When you meet your end, how are you going to explain the way you have spent your life? Are you able to tell Him that you led a life of purpose or will you tell him that you wasted your time on Earth?” he asked.
UPCLOSE
Somehow, I felt that this was not a coincidence, that this God must have heard my friend’s prayer and healed our child. I could not put my finger on the feeling I had but knew that it was getting harder for me to deny the existence of God. “What about my parents?” I retorted, “They have such an aversion to Christianity! What if they start to shun me?” Matthew reminded me that I was the head of my own household. Moreover, their views about Christianity could be a thing of the past. He urged me to re-think my resistance to God. I went home that night feeling stirred up. The stirring grew stronger and stronger and, all of a sudden, I felt a strong desire to understand more about Him. That morning, at 4:00am, I turned on my computer to start researching about God: who He was, that He loves every one of us, and how He sent His Son to die for us and pay the price of our sins.
Challenge Accepted Later in the day, as I was driving to an appointment, five words across a church facade had caught my eye: “Jesus said… Come to me.”
I had already decided to go to the church where my friend prayed for me and give a donation. This incident seemed like God was trying to get my attention. During a stop at a nearby petrol station, I issued this challenge to God, “If you truly exist, you will show me the signs once more.” What happened next was nothing short of amazing. After exiting the petrol station, I passed a line of churches along the Upper Serangoon flyover. The words on the churches spoke loud and clear: Nativity, Healing, Embrace God. With each church that came into view, I felt a powerful force washing over me. God was responding to my challenge, manifesting Himself and demonstrating that He was everywhere and telling me that it was time to come home. It was impossible to deny God’s existence after such a powerful spiritual encounter. I broke down and cried, apologizing that I had denied Him all these years. I felt a mix of reverent fear and overwhelming love and security all at the same time. Since I had never read the Bible before, it was impossible to have known about God’s love and
• 23 •
character. He knew that the best way for me to understand Him was to come to where I was and touch me in such a personal and powerful way. God revealed that He was the one who healed our second child and that He had been watching over our family all this time. His presence was so warm and assuring; I knew I was safe in His hands. I finally understood that God loved and accepted me regardless of all the wrong things that I had done in the past, including refusing to know Him. I felt completely healed of past hurts and, like a blank sheet of paper, knew I had a fresh start in life. That afternoon, I went to my church where my friend prayed and found the chapel. I did not see the old man with the harmonica and when I asked the church staff about him, they told me that no such person existed. I realized that my friend’s meeting with the old man was really a divine encounter with God. I immediately went to their sanctuary, stood in front of the Cross to pray, and with tears in my eyes, quietly accepted Jesus into my life.
UPCLOSE
A family transformed
A New Life The moment I accepted Christ, things started to change. I lived each day with a sense of peace that I had never felt before. I also grew in loving my wife and developed fatherly patience towards Giselle. Yvonne was amazed. Her husband, a person that was once openly hostile to Christianity, was suddenly excited to go to church! That Sunday, our family attended Trinity@Paya Lebar’s Sunday service with Matthew and his wife, Miranda. Once we stepped into the service hall, I suddenly felt the same holy presence I encountered on the flyover. As the church worshipped, I raised my hands and worshipped with a newfound joy. As God’s presence filled the place, I felt a freedom I had never known before. I was His son and I had come home.
Growing with Zion Arklights carecell
After service, we went to the First Time Visitor’s lounge where a pastor introduced us to the various ministries. Trinity had exactly what I was looking for; the presence of God and His Word. I wanted my whole family to grow together, including Sunday school for Giselle. It did not take long before Yvonne and I decided to make Trinity our home church.
• 24 •
Growing in the Lord Each week, Yvonne and I look forward to attending carecell with Matthew and Miranda every week. The carecell welcomed us with open arms and a great sense of warmth. As “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17), we encouraged, prayed, and grew to know about God together. Joining this community in the South District was like coming to a lush land after a long time in the wilderness.
UPCLOSE
God Transformed my Husband (and Soon Transformed Me) Yvonne’s Story
Before we got married, I had expressed a desire to find out more about Christianity. Adrian replied that if anything were to come between us, it would be religion. That’s why I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that Adrian would accept Christ (at least not before I did). After the flyover encounter, Adrian shared with me what happened and how he experienced the depth of God’s love for our family. He knew that God is real. At first, I was shocked. My husband, a man I had known for over a decade, never talked this way! I felt that he was a different person but wondered how long this “phenomenon” would last. As the days and weeks went by, I saw that this change was here to stay. He would spend time with God, getting up early every morning to pray and reading the Bible every night. Every thought, action, and word mirrored God and His goodness. He became more patient and
Giselle, like any child, took a few weeks to adjust to Nursery at Trinity@Paya Lebar. Now, she looks forward to singing, drawing, and learning about God every week. She even comes back singing songs about God! Moments like these are incredibly heartwarming and we know that she is in good hands.
Our Father’s Unconditional Love On January 17, 2016, our baby boy, Galen, was born. Though he
loving to me and Giselle. Adrian even started to comfort fellow Christians through their adversities. There was peace and joy that resonated within Adrian that was not there before. After seeing how God transformed my husband, I, too, was inspired to know more about God. After attending Trinity for a few months I decided to attend the LEAD course, Holy Spirit & I, where I felt a stirring to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Later on, during the Celebration Service, a testimony was shared about a child diagnosed with Down Syndrome. Although the circumstances relating to the testimony were different, I knew God was reaffirming that He healed my child. I went down to the altar call and accepted Christ into my life that evening. Since then, my life has never been the same.
was named after a primary school friend, one day the Lord led me to look up the true meaning of Galen’s name: peace, calm, and tranquility. God used that time to confirm His grace in healing Galen through one of my favorite verses, John 14:27: “Peace (Galen) I leave with you; my peace (Galen, my child) I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives (the doctors did not heal Galen, I did). Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Every time Yvonne and I bring him for service, we cannot help but be
• 25 •
in constant awe of the Almighty. There are times when I shed tears during service, thanking Him for the amazing grace that healed Galen and transformed my family. God not only healed my heart, He expanded it to love others. My prayer is that this love continues to expand each and every day, for “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
ENVISION
MOVING FORWARD WITH
By Senior Pastor Dominic Yeo
God has created within humanity an innate desire to move forward, to progress. That’s why we have the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side.” You and I have a natural tendency to look forward to the greener pastures of life. However, it’s easy to get train wrecked if we don’t know where God wants to take us. Without vision, we will move like Harry the Hamster, spinning on the wheel of life but going nowhere. If we are going to look forward and move forward, we need to have a specific destination. There is a certain place God wants to take us; He has a vision, plan, and destiny for each of us. We’re going to start by understanding the importance of laying hold of God’s vision by looking at the life of Abraham, the Father of faith.
“For he [Abraham] was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” (Hebrews 11:10) God also has created humanity with a promise. God promised Abraham a “city with foundations.” To have foundations is to have something that is steady, solid, and sure. A city with foundations means there is infrastructure in place that allows the city to grow and thrive. 50 years ago, Singapore was a swampland. However, the government knew that strong infrastructure was vital to the nation’s continued growth. Through decades of investment, this nation has transformed from a kampong
• 26 •
(village) into the metropolis we live in today. The promise of a “city with foundations” – the provision of infrastructure in our lives – is available for us today; He has put in place the foundations needed for His promises to come to pass. Be excited to know that God has an allotment for your life; that your life exists for something! When we choose to move forward in God’s promises for our lives, two things happen: hope arises in our spirit and purpose is ignited in our lives. So, how do we move forward and lay hold of what God has for us?
ENVISION
MOVING FORWARD WITH VISION
The moment we say, “Are you sure?” that’s doubt. There’s nothing wrong with doubt. It’s when we choose to entertain and cede to it that’s the issue. We Move Forward With Faith God’s promises always require us to act in faith. Faith is heaven’s currency, for “… without faith it is impossible to please God...” (Hebrews 11:6). Faith is what gets God’s attention; it’s what He looks for. So, what is faith?
Faith is forwardlooking while doubt is backward-looking When you study Abraham’s life, you will discover that Abraham came from a place of privilege and comfort; his family was extremely well-to-do. When God called Abraham to go to a place unknown, to leave everything behind, it’s amazing that Abraham obeyed; he didn’t allow doubt to exist in his mind. During a time of ministry in Guatemala (Central America), God
told me to give all of my money to the church. I was doubtful and asked, “God, are you sure? What am I going to live on the rest of the trip?” The moment we ask, “Are you sure?” that’s doubt. There’s nothing wrong with doubt. It’s when we choose to entertain and cede to it that’s the issue. It’s important for us to grapple with the issue of faith versus doubt. Doubt kills faith; it has a way of dousing the fire in our lives. If you and I are going to move forward, to lay hold of God’s destiny for our lives, we must choose not to entertain doubt.
Faith looks forward while fear looks backward While doubt is momentary, fear paralyzes and causes us to move backwards. Before Abraham was called to move, he worked for his father. His life was very comfortable; he knew what he would be doing each and every day. Moreover, the city where they
• 27 •
lived (Ur of the Chaldeans), was prosperous due to its strategic location as an intersection of major trade routes. Abraham had everything but God called him into the unknown. That’s why it is remarkable that Abraham obeyed and moved forward.
Faith pushes us forward while apathy stops us from moving on If, like Abraham, I had come from a privileged background, there would be a certain degree of pride and apathy in my life. I wouldn’t need to venture out into nothingness; there would be no need for me to put myself out there to do something new. Abraham, in moving forward, demonstrated tremendous faith. That’s why he’s known as the “Father of Faith.” The truth of the matter is that pride is just a false sense of security. Abraham could have rested on what he had. He could have allowed this
envision
MOVING FORWARD WITH VISION
If you and I are going to lay hold of God’s promises for our lives, we cannot allow doubt to shock us, fear to paralyze us, the pride of life to pull us back, or apathy to stop us where we are. sense of achievement to keep him where he was, to be apathetic for the future. However, faith pushed him forward. In Hebrews 11:8, we read that, “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.” If you and I are going to lay hold of God’s promises for our lives, we cannot allow doubt to shock us, fear to paralyze us, the pride of life to pull us back, or apathy to stop us where we are.
Faith sees the accomplished before it starts. Doubt stops us from moving forward to see the accomplishment come to pass Even though Abraham didn’t know where he was going, the faith inside his spirit knew the things that were to come. It was this faith to trust in God’s promises that propelled him forward.
The kind of faith that is needed for us to lay hold of the promises of God is the faith to see the accomplished. Abraham displayed this kind of faith by choosing not to let unbelief stop him.
Faith does not make the journey easy but it will keep the journey going Abraham was very old when God first spoke to him. If we put Abraham’s age in today’s terms (they lived much longer than we did), he and his wife were sent out on this journey at the age of 60. The couple traveled over 600 kilometers to reach their destination. In those days, they didn’t have cars, GrabTaxis, or MRTs (trains). Imagine being as old as them and having to make that entire journey on foot! If God asked you to go to the unknown at the age of 60, I’m certain you would wonder whether you were really hearing from God.
• 28 •
If you were a women way past menopause and God told you that you would have a child, I’m certain you could foresee how rough childbirth would be. The journey of life will be filled with challenges. Persevere by choosing to believe that God will fulfill His promises in due time.
Faith does not take age into consideration for God will reward us at His time Though Abraham saw the birth of his son, Isaac, and the birth of his grandchildren, he never saw the realization of the city. One thing I’m certain is that he saw the grandest city of them all: heaven. God is in the business of rewarding us in His own ways and at His own time. Like Abraham, we may not see the reward in full but we can be certain that we will still see a glimpse of that reward within our lifetime.
envision
MOVING FORWARD WITH VISION
It doesn’t matter if we are unable to understand the blueprint for our life because there’s someone who does: our Heavenly Father. Faith does not take away temptation but reveals who we are Abraham’s journey was far from ideal and he made many mistakes along the way. He was tempted – and fell into temptation – many times, even willing to sacrifice his wife’s dignity so that he could live. In Genesis 12:10-20, we read that he tried to pass his wife off as his sister. He told a half-truth to protect himself in hostile lands. By the grace of God, see how his decisions revealed who he was, taught him lessons, and prepared him to move forward. When faith reveals who we are, it prepares us for the promise ahead. God must be able to trust you. One common example is in the area of finances. How many of us want to be economically blessed by God? I think most of us would raise our hands. In order for God to do so, He must see that we can be trusted with money, that we will use money
as a means to extend His Kingdom rather than as a security blanket. We all understand the concept of blessing (the promise of God). If we are going to step into the promises of God, faith must reveal our sinfulness so that we can face them, change, and move forward.
We Move Forward With Focus At the end of the day, faith is not based on faith. Faith must be based on something more substantial; it must be focused on understanding and recognizing who God is in our lives.
Focus on God the Architect When we started building Trinity@Paya Lebar, we hired an architecture firm to help us. When the blueprints were presented, we looked at the lines and wondered what it all meant. Conceptually, we
• 29 •
couldn’t fathom what the buildings would look like. That’s why it was so helpful that they provided an artistic impression so that we could understand and come into agreement on how to proceed. Similarly, recognize that God is the architect of our lives; He holds the blueprint. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) It doesn’t matter if we are unable to understand the blueprint for our life because there’s someone who does: our Heavenly Father. All we need to do is to focus on the architect and He will lead us into our destiny.
Focus on God the Builder While architects are responsible for creating plans; builders are responsible for bringing those plans to life. For Trinity@Paya Lebar, we also engaged the services of builders that followed the plans laid out by the architect.
ENVISION
MOVING FORWARD WITH VISION
What if God worked in the same way? What if He gave us the blueprints and said, “Make it work.” Can you imagine what would happen if we tried to build on God’s plans for our lives? It would be a disaster! We would build a lopsided structure that would eventually come crashing down. It is so awesome to have God as both the architect and builder of our lives. Not only does He plan our course, He can also deploy the resources of heaven to build!
Focus on God the Caller God wants to be the planner and builder of our lives; however, He won’t do it unless we choose to co-operate, to partner with Him. That’s why it’s important for us to understand and focus on our Caller – to know when He’s speaking and what He’s saying. We cannot step into our destiny unless we heed His call: to do the right things, speak the right words, and be at the right place at the right time. He calls us to step out of danger and into a place of safety.
Focus on God the Blessor When God called Abraham, He called him towards a life of blessing.
“I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.” (Genesis 12:1-3) You and I that have been grafted into Abraham’s family tree (Romans 11:12) are heirs of the covenant God made to him (Acts 3:25). Therefore, you and I also can rest in the promise of His blessing. God has a plan for your life. It doesn’t matter how old you are. In Trinity, there are no old people: only young, younger, and youngest! If God can call Abraham in his advanced age, He can call you now because He wants to lead you into a life of blessing. God will also build your life! Even if you feel you cannot do much with the time you have left, know that He can still build a powerful legacy if you allow Him to. Today, let’s stop meandering through life and choose to move forward with God’s vision for our lives. As you go in faith and with focus, trust that He will bring you into that place of destiny.
• 30 •
Pastor Dominic Yeo is the Senior Pastor of Trinity Christian Centre.
Hear this message, and others in the “Moving Forward” series, at www. trinity.sg (Media > Sermons) Scan this QR Code to read the Watchnight Message on Looking Forward, Moving Forward.
ENVISION
The #Jubilee50K Challenge
Moving Forward. Become a Greater Blesser.
In mid-March, the #Jubilee50K Challenge crossed the 25,000 post mark! 50,000 posts
(October 2, 2016)
25,000 posts (March 2016)
Fulfilling our Faith Goals Earlier this year, Trinitarians came together to seek God for a personal #Jubilee50K Faith Goal. Carecells also came together to set a corporate #Jubilee50K Faith Goal. Praise God for those that are well on their way towards fulfilling them. Some have even surpassed their original Faith Goals! “During carecell, we agreed on a #Jubilee50K Faith Goal of 150 posts (10 posts per member) and focus on being intentional blessers. We trusted God that we would reach our Faith Goal as a carecell. #Jubilee50K became a focus of our community life. During every carecell meeting, we encouraged members to share their posts and the story behind them. We also had members bring two pebbles back home as a reminder to bless and post that week. They would come for the next carecell meeting with these two pebbles to share what their acts of blessing. We also came together as a carecell to bless our Section Leader, when he was going through a tough season, by visiting him in his home to prepare dinner. By working as a team, our carecell has surpassed our corporate faith goal; we’re now at 176 posts! We thank God for His love and faithfulness to us, for motivating us to love His people. All glory to God!” – Ann Ng and Ken Yeo, East District
• 31 •
ENVISION
Transformed through the #Jubilee50K Challenge The #Jubilee50K Challenge not only touched the hearts of the blessed, it also transformed the hearts of many blessers.
“The #Jubilee50K Challenge forced me to confront a gap that I always knew existed: my beliefs (loving God, loving people) against my actions. It was difficult in the beginning because I didn’t want to bless others just for the sake of “doing good.” I sought God to renew my heart and, over the past year, my relationship with God has taken off to a new level. When we are constantly in His presence, we naturally become His vessels of blessings!” – Ai Wei Seah, East District
“This post has been LOOOOOONG overdue. The reason is quite simple: I was struggling about uploading my acts of blessing for the whole world to see. I loved the idea of being an intentional blessor but I couldn’t seem to get on board with the idea of posting them. What really changed my mind (and heart) about proclaiming was when I saw others experience breakthroughs by stepping out boldly to declare that they have been blessed to be a blessing. That courage was an inspiration for me. I’m doing this not to boast about myself but to boast about my God who has blessed me so much; it really would be a shame to hoard them for myself. Truly, God is a God of abundance and perhaps #Jubilee50K is one ways His abundance overflows. – Samuel Leong, Campus Ministry
Moving Forward as Intentional Blessers The #Jubilee50K Challenge will end on October 2, 2016. As we head into the last phase of the #Jubilee50K Challenge, let’s continue moving forward to be an even greater blesser to those around us.
• 32 •
focus
…by being honorable parents
36
…as a child
42
…in our youth
46
How Can You Avoid Provoking Your Child to Anger?
10 Ways to Honor Mummy and Daddy
How Christian Teens Can Get Along with Mom and Dad
…when we’re grown up We Still Have to Honor Our Parents When We Grow Up
…after marriage 6 Keys to Having a Healthy Relationship with the In-Laws
…when they’re elderly Treat Elderly Parents with Dignity
Caring for a Treasure
• 33 •
50 54 56
A Child’s Privilege The commandment to “honor your father and your mother” holds great significance to God. While Christian scholars generally divide the Ten Commandments into two unequal groupings – the first four about our relationship with God and the last six about our relationship with people – Jewish scholars evenly divide the commandments (i.e., five about God, five about people). Thus, the Jewish community views honoring parents as important as honoring God. The word “honor” is derived from a Hebrew word kaved ( ) (“to be heavy” or “to give weight”). Thus, to honor someone is to view and treat them with immense significance and respect. Each of us has been born into a family, a situation divinely orchestrated by God. He intended families to be a place where love, peace, and respect are manifested and, hence, learned. The responsibility of building a safe and nurturing environment for imparting these values has been/was entrusted to our parents. For this reason, God also bestowed on them a place of honor in our lives. That may be why honoring our parents is the only commandment that comes with the promise of blessing: “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12) God’s command to honor our parents is consistent with His divine order. Just as the choice to honor God brings us eternal life, the
To honor someone is to view and treat them with immense significance and respect. choice to honor our parents will bring us a welllived, fruitful, and happy life on earth. These promises go beyond material blessing; they have to do with the peace, security we enjoy in the home. Therefore, if we want our homes to be a place of rest and restoration, we must understand that it begins with us. God’s design is for children to honor and obey their parents so that they can live wisely. As they learn the concept of honor within the home, they also will learn how to honor other authorities outside of the home (e.g., governments, teachers, employers). Even young Jesus, though He was the Son of God, obeyed His earthly parents and, as a result, grew in wisdom (Luke 2:51-52). The Bible also says that children who are not disciplined, or fail to obey their parents, are much worse off in life (Proverbs 22:15, 19:19 and 29:15). In each season of life, and every family situation, honoring our parents takes different forms at different times. Therefore, it is important for us to carefully and prayerfully consider what it means to honor our parents based on the principles of God’s Word. When we are growing up under our parents’ care,
• 34 •
A Child’s Privilege honor generally takes the form of listening to their instruction, being obedient, and submitting to their authority. As we get older, and as our parents age, the demonstration of honor will change. In a May 2016 The Straits Times article, “Dealing with parents’ mortality,” the writer shares the struggles faced by the elderly: loneliness, weakened health, and the eventuality of death. As roles reverse, we are called to care for their needs and preserve their dignity, reassuring them that they are still an integral part of our lives. When it comes to our own children, it is important to show them how to honor their grandparents, especially when there are differences in opinion.
Honoring our parents is not about their performance but recognition of their God-given position. For those with pre-believing parents, demonstrating honor becomes even more critical. In this church, there are many stories of pre-believing parents who become open to the Gospel, even accepting Jesus, because they saw the love and grace of God through their children’s honorable words and actions.
Honor begets honor. So, what does honor look like when a parent-child relationship is/has been strained or filled with abuse? What if our parents continue to act in hurtful and dishonorable ways?
Honoring our parents is one of the highest callings and the greatest tasks we will face in our lifetime. It is also a privilege that only we can fulfill unto our parents. Whether we are in school or working, single or married, young or old, we will never outgrow God’s command to honor our parents in both action and attitude (Mark 7:6).
Honoring our parents is not about their performance but recognition of their God-given position. One person who demonstrates this is David; he honored Saul’s position (as King) even when Saul wanted him dead. Thus, honoring our parents becomes a choice to extend mercy and grace on a continual basis.
Let’s choose to tell our parents that we love and appreciate them, to honor them even though we feel that they don’t deserve it or “meet the mark.” When we choose to honor our parents, however difficult that may be, we ultimately honor God by choosing to keep His commands and walk in His truth.
This article includes excerpts from Pastor Wendy Chang’s sermon, “Honor in Our Family.” Hear the full sermon at www.trinity.sg (Media > Sermons) What does the Bible say about obeying parents? (n.d.). Retrieved April 1, 2016, from http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-obeying-parents.html
• 35 •
FOCUS
How Can You Avoid
Provoking Your Child
Anger?
to
By Linda LaBissoniere
• 36 •
focus
Children, like adults, may become angry, embittered, and even discouraged depending on how they are treated. In some situations, this anger stems from the treatment they receive from their parents. Two scriptures in the New Testament explain how children can be provoked to anger by their parents. Ephesians 6:4 says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Notice also Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” The Scriptures clearly teach us that parents are responsible to train and correct their children (Proverbs 13:24; 22:6). However, if your child seems angry or discouraged, make sure that you are not provoking him or her as you teach and correct. Here are some common ways that children are provoked by their parents.
Being Harsh in Punishments or Overly-Strict The Bible is clear that children need correction. However, some discipline can be overly harsh, with the punishment far exceeding the infraction. For example, a harsh punishment might be a month of no television viewing for forgetting to take the garbage out.
Parents should be careful to carry out punishments only when they are in full control of their emotions. Punishing a child while your emotions are raging from a child’s actions could lead to excessive and harmful discipline. When the punishment does not match the misbehavior in severity, children may come to feel that they are being punished because they have irritated a mean and vengeful parent, not that they are being corrected for their own good. Analyze the type of punishments you give and make sure that they convey the right message. Always discipline in love and never when you are angry. Children can also be provoked if their parents are overly-strict. While it is important to protect your child, parents should realize that older children and teens need gradually increasing freedom to explore on their own and develop independence in preparation for the day they will move out on their own. Overprotection may be viewed by your child as a lack of trust.
• 37 •
Teens will likely become frustrated that they cannot “test their wings.” Parents need to allow their teens more independence by gradually “letting the rope out.” Easing some of the restrictions on your teenage children or modifying the rules as they age will help them mature. It can be hard to do, especially with all of the possibilities of danger. However, if you are too overprotective, you run the risk of your child becoming angry, discouraged, and even rebellious. The balance is in allowing more opportunities as your child successfully handles himself or herself.
Showing Disrespect to Your Child There are many ways that parents can be disrespectful toward their child. Obviously, name-calling and using abusive words, such as calling a child “stupid,” is not respectful or helpful. Scripture encourages us to always edify when we speak. Notice Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”
FOCUS
Parents should be careful to carry out punishments only when they are in full control of their emotions. Punishing a child while your emotions are raging from a child’s actions could lead to excessive and harmful discipline. Unfortunately, if you were verbally abused as a child, you may tend to repeat the same mistake with your children. Focus on breaking this pattern of abusive behavior so that your child will not have to suffer as perhaps you did. It may be helpful to think of how a coworker or a friend would react if you talked to him or her the way that you talk to your child. If you feel he or she would be hurt or angered, realize your child might feel the same. Then you can work on altering your tone and words. Parents can also disrespect their children by humiliating them. This can be done by scolding them in front of others, making fun of them, or discussing their weaknesses with others while they are present. Would you like your boss to reprimand you in front of other employees? What if he/she made fun of an idea or comment that you made or talked negatively about you with other
employees? You would probably feel hurt and angry. Similarly, your child will likely be hurt and angry if you humiliate him or her in these ways.
Comparing to Others and Practicing Favoritism It is very easy for a parent to compare one child to another or to have a favored child. Parents may mistakenly think that by evaluating the child against his or her siblings or other children, the misbehaving child will be encouraged to straighten up. However, this can actually cause lifelong feelings of inferiority in a child who is being negatively compared or not favored, and can ultimately cause him or her to become frustrated and embittered. Discouragement and resentment can result if a child feels that his or her sibling is more loved or is favored by comparison. Each child is
• 38 •
unique and should be loved equally. We should use God’s standards of conduct and character revealed in Scripture as a guide for assessing our children as individuals.
Constantly Finding Fault and Having Unrealistic Expectations Successful parents require high standards of conduct of their children. However, unrealistic expectations can cause a child to become frustrated, particularly if he or she only feels loved if certain standards are met. Some parents crush their children’s self-esteem, talents, dreams, and confidence by pressuring them to achieve beyond their natural ability in academics, music or sports. Parents should encourage their children to do their best but a child should never be punished or made to feel unloved because he or she is not strong enough, fast enough, or smart enough.
FOCUS
When the punishment does not match the misbehavior in severity, children may come to feel that they are being punished because they have irritated a mean and vengeful parent, not that they are being corrected for their own good. Focus on learning what to expect from your child given his or her age level. Children should always feel that they have their parents’ unconditional love. If a parent brings up every fault a child has, it can be very discouraging. Focus on correcting the most harmful faults and behaviors at first and deal with the smaller ones later. Be sure that you balance your correction with abundant praise for what your child is doing correctly. We all respond far more positively to encouragement than criticism.
Avoid a Double Standard As children grow older, they begin watching their parents’ actions closely. Your child may become confused and angry with you if you do the same things that you have corrected him or her for doing. For example, if you punished your child for stealing a piece of candy and then later mention that the
fancy new pen that you are using came from your office, your child may begin to think of you as a hypocrite. Likewise some parents correct their child for using the same bad language that they themselves often use. Your son or daughter may view you as a hypocrite if you act a certain way in public and a different way in private. In every area of your life ask yourself, “Am I practicing what I am teaching?”
If you have been provoking your child to anger, humbly apologize to him or her. You may be surprised to find how much this can help the situation. Meditate on how to better discipline and instruct your child. You may even want to ask for advice from seasoned parents or your pastor. Develop a plan of action as to how you will deal with your children in a loving and respectful manner. Most
• 39 •
importantly, pray for God to lead you to become a better parent, for with Christ living in us, nothing is impossible.
Reprinted with permission. Published by United Church of God, an International Association. © 2016 United Church of God. http://www. ucg.org/beyond-today/how-can-youavoid-provoking-your-child-to-anger
Tending to your marriage is a lifelong journey. Come for LEAD’s Marriage Series to find out how you can grow a strong and lasting marriage.
Weatherproof Your Marriage
Uniting Differences
Course focus
Setting boundaries Safeguarding your marriage
Gender and personality differences
Course synopsis
Every marriage will have good days and bad, sunshine and storms. Weatherproof your relationship to withstand the storms of life.
Differences are inevitable in a marriage. It can either be a stumbling block or a stepping stone in establishing a healthy and strong marriage.
Coming up on July 2!
Understand the subtle issues that can slowly chip away at your marriage. Be equipped with practical ways to better protect relationships with your spouse and family. Hear from our panelists and discover how to continue building a great marriage today.
In this course, we will be looking at the nature of differences, the common and underlying causes of conflicts and, above all, how to handle the differences in a godly and constructive manner.
Find out more about the Marriage Series by: • Picking up a copy of the latest LEAD Brochure; or • Visiting our website www.trinity.sg (I want to develop my potential > LEAD > Courses).
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford
Love Me True
You Talk, I Talk But Who’s Listening?
Love and Respect
Effective communication
Studies have shown that in marriage, a woman’s greatest need is love while a man’s greatest need is respect, but how do we realistically meet these needs?
Strong, godly marriages are the bedrock to strong families, churches and societies. Communication remains the quintessential key to successful marriages.
Come and learn Biblical principles on love and respect as well as practical handles to successfully enrich your marriage.
Be inspired and equipped to communicate effectively with each other and bring your marriage to a deeper level of intimacy.
Let LEAD help you have your best marriage now!
FOCUS
Cut out these pages and color each action!
Taking care of younger siblings
Doing all our chores without being reminded
• 42 •
FOCUS
Completing our homework
(“Mommy, you look pretty today!” “Daddy, you are so strong!”)
Saying nice things to them
Finishing all our food
Praying for them
Picking up our toys when we’re finished playing Greeting our parents with a smile
Saying “Please” when we ask for something Saying “Thank you” when they do something for us • 43 •
Parenting is a tough job and there’s no manual on how to do it right. Not even the almighty Google can help us through everything.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
“Why didn’t I know about this pitfall?”
“Is there a better way to deal with my child?”
“Could I have instilled godly values at an earlier age?”
– Frederick Douglass
Discover God’s purpose and design for parenting Understand developmental milestones and addressing specific needs (based on age group) Build faith, values, life skills, and positive memories
Parenting Toddlers
Parenting Pre-Schoolers
(birth-3 years)
(4-6 years)
• Set appropriate boundaries • Manage stranger and separation anxiety • Build routines
• Get ready for school • Recognize the pitfalls of technology • Introduce gender and sexuality
Determine appropriate methods for discipline
Find out more about the Parenting Series by: • Picking up a copy of the latest LEAD Brochure; or • Visiting our website www.trinity.sg (I want to develop my potential > LEAD > Courses).
Start equipping yourself for the future through LEAD’s Parenting Series, five specially-designed courses aimed at empowering parents to raise their children through every season of their lives.
Learn how to disciple your child from the moment they’re born. Be aware and be prepared for every development stage your children go through. Build biblical foundations that will last a lifetime.
Parenting School-Age Children
Parenting Tweens
(7-10 years)
(11-14 years)
• Handle technology • Navigate social settings (e.g., friendships, bullying)
• Address early puberty (e.g., affirm their God-given identity)
• Manage finances
• Practice cyber wellness
• Understand God’s perspective about gender and sex
• Manage stress
Coming up on July 23 & 30!
(e.g., navigate peer pressure)
Parenting Teens (15-18 years)
• Practice effective communication (e.g., conflict resolution)
• Grant independence with boundaries • Prepare for adulthood (e.g., learn life skills, help to discover their God-given destiny)
• Engage with prodigal children
Let LEAD help you build your best family now!
FOCUS
How
Teens
Christian
Can Get Along with &
Mom Dad By Kelli Mahoney
One of the biggest challenges for Christian teens is their relationship with their parents. Mom and Dad have one idea about how you are supposed to act and follow the rules, but you want to grow up and start making your own decisions. Many Christian teens find that they want to follow the commandment to “honor thy father and mother,” but the actual practice is more difficult and complicated. So, what are some things you can do to develop a Godly relationship with your parents?
• 46 •
FOCUS
1. Spend Time Together
We ask one IGNYTEr to tell us what she does to spend quality time with her parents.
Many Christian teens groan when it comes to spending time with their parents because they just don’t feel that their parents understand them very well. Maybe it is time for you to plan family night. Try cooking your parents dinner or picking out a game for the entire family to play. You may even want to create a night when you all pray or do a devotional together. While you don’t have to spend all your time with your parents, spending some time with them allows you to get to know one another better.
Spending time with my parents is challenging because we’re all really busy. I’ve learned to use pockets of time, like going out to buy things or when I’m sitting on their bed, to share about what’s been happening in our lives or discuss issues we’re facing in life. Choosing to spend time with them, however brief it may be, has really helped us understand each other on a deeper level. – Vanessa Tang, 15
We ask one IGNYTEr to share a time when she had a heart-to-heart talk with her parents and what she learned from that experience. There was a time when I had a few friendship issues that troubled me for a while. When I finally decided to share them with my parents, their input and advice helped me to see and understand the issues from a different perspective. More importantly, they pointed me back to God and gave me godly principles to make my own decisions. Initially, it was hard to share with my parents but I realized they were more than willing to listen and provide guidance. Choosing to share my problems with them, and listening to what they had to say, has improved our relationship tremendously. – Hui En, 18
• 47 •
2. Talk to Your Mom and Dad Another difficulty for Christian teens is opening up to their parents about what is going on in their lives. Yet, when you talk to your parents about some of the things that are going on in your life it allows them to see how you are growing up and becoming more responsible. It also helps them feel more connected to you because they feel involved.
FOCUS
3.Show You Care Showing affection is not easy for every family. Some Christian teens grow up in households where everyone is hugging and kissing or telling each other, “I love you,” while others are not very “touchyfeely.” However, you can show you care about your mom and dad in your own way by at least being polite, caring, and thoughtful.
We ask one IGNYTEr to share her thoughts about being fair.
We ask one IGNYTEr to share a time when he cared for his parents and the difference it made to the relationship. I don’t get to see my parents often because I’m busy with activities like my internship and driving lessons. That means I have few opportunities to show them that I care. Once I realized this, I decided to spend my Sundays with them (instead of catching up with sleep or hanging out with friends). By doing that, I began to understand my parents and the challenges they face in life. I used to be reserved when talking to them but spending Sundays with them has changed that. Being able to open up and share my life with them has made me cherish the relationship I have with my parents. – Gerald Ng, 19
I believe that fairness is a two-way thing. We always want our parents to see things from our perspective so that we can have our way. But, perhaps, there are times when we are not being fair to them: making them worry when we’re out late at night, choosing to have dinner with our friends instead of them. Maybe it’s time to understand where our parents are coming from before we get angry or upset with what they have to say. – Arielle Yeo, 17
5. Keep Your Cool Many Christian teens end up having “temper tantrums” when they try to have a conversation with their parents. Arguments usually come from a lack of understanding. Next time you talk to your parents, try to ask them questions to understand where they are coming from and remember to share what you are thinking so they can understand you.
4. Be Fair When you are trying to get along with your mom and dad, it can be hard for you to keep your cool when you aren’t getting your way. Sometimes the best way to get along with your parents is to make compromises. Try to put yourself in your parents’ shoes. Then come up with a solution that will fit what your parents need from you and what you need.
We ask one IGNYTEr to share a time when he lost his cool with his parents and how the issue was ultimately resolved. About a year ago, I lost my cool with my mom. She felt that I was spending too little time with the family because I was so involved in my studies and training. After realizing that I had been so rude to her, I apologized and started a conversation: I calmly explained my various commitments while she shared her point of view. Through that experience, I’ve learned the importance of valuing my family and have become intentional about setting aside time for them. – Mark Wong, 18
• 48 •
FOCUS
6. Take Your Disappointments Elsewhere Frustration with your parents is normal. One great outlet Christian teens have is prayer. God is always willing to listen. You can pray for a better relationship with your parents or for God to place an understanding on their hearts. You can also journal or express your frustration to friends, leaders, and pastors. Sometimes those close to you can help you brainstorm ways to develop a Godly relationship with your parents.
We ask one IGNYTEr to share a time when she submitted to her parent’s decision, especially when she didn’t agree with it, and what she learned from the experience. There was a time when I was in a relationship my parents didn’t approve of. When they found out about the relationship, they were very unhappy and wanted me to break up immediately. Instead of obeying, I fought for my “rights,” hoping they would relent and let me be. They didn’t. As I sought the Lord, and the godly counsel of my pastors and leaders, I decided to stop rebelling and obey my parents because God has called us to honor our mother and father. Breaking up wasn’t the easiest decision to make. However, as I look back at the situation, I saw how God used it to improve my relationship with my parents. I’ve also grown stronger in my walk with God by learning to trust Him and His Word. – Abigail Yeong, 19
We ask one IGNYTEr to share a time when she took her disappointment to God and how it helped her deal with the situation. My parents used to quarrel a lot and I would get really frustrated and upset about it. I could not, and did not, want to tell anyone. Instead, I would let my emotions go by writing everything down in a letter to God. While the frustrations didn’t go away immediately, God spoke to me through the Bible, His voice, and in visions. He taught me how I could better handle the situation. As time went by, my family situation improved and, I have fewer frustrations to write to God about. – Natasha Teo, 16
7. Remember, They are the Parents No matter how responsible and grown up you think you are, your parents are still the heads of your household. They are your authority. Even if you don’t agree with their rules the Bible still says you are to follow those rules. Whether you look at Romans (where the Bible focuses on following authority) or just Exodus 20:12 (where God commands us to honor our parents), your parents’ rules still stand.
Kelli Mahoney is an experienced Christian youth worker and published writer. Find more of her Christian teen articles at http://christianteens.about.com/.
• 49 •
FOCUS
By Bronwyn Lea
A few surprisingly simple ways to honor your parents, even as an independent adult.
• 50 •
FOCUS
When a friend in her 50s began to share a prayer request about her adult children, my ears perked up. After all: I was friends with her children; I had danced at their weddings. I knew, too, that her kids loved her, thought well of her, and appreciated her. So it came as a shock to hear how much she was struggling with feeling forgotten and neglected by them.
“As a mom, it’s been nearly 30 years that I have thought about my children every single day and wondered about their well-being,” she said. “It hurts that it doesn’t even seem to be an afterthought to send me a text message to say hi.” Her heartfelt admittance raised a significant question: What does it mean to honor your parents when you are an adult? In the years when parents care for their children at home, a child needs to respect their parents and cooperate in family life. For many, caring for very elderly and ill parents with a decreasing capacity to care for themselves, honor very often takes a practical, physical dimension in care-giving. But what of the decade(s) between those, when both the parents and children are adult and independent? “Honor your father and mother,” were among the first words God spoke to His people (Exodus 20:12). The Apostle Paul points out that this was the first commandment with a promise (Ephesians 6:2). Jesus was quick to upbraid the Pharisees for making excuses: using their time and resources for religious good at the expense of honoring their parents. Anyone who does that, said our Lord, “nullifies the Word of God.” (Mark 7:9-13)
• 51 •
Parents, whether we consider them honorable or not, are to be honored. Scripture is clear that the command to love our neighbor is not limited to our friendly neighbor, or even our known neighbor (Luke 10:2537). Husbands are called to love their wives, not only when they are lovable. Wives are to respect their husbands, and not only when they are respectable (Ephesians 5:22-33). Citizens under cruel governments are still called to submit to those in authority (1 Peter 2:13-14). Clearly, the Bible teaches us that our relational commitments are to be unconditional. No matter how nasty they might be, neighbors are to be cared for. Wives, to be loved. Governments, to be respected. And parents, whether we consider them honorable or not, are to be honored. The trouble is, there are a great many instances of parents acting in
FOCUS
Acknowledging our parents’ humanity and their efforts are key components in showing them honor. very hurtful and dishonorable ways. In such relationships, the thought of showing such a parent honor brings pain, vulnerability, and often terrific anger and deep frustration to the fore. In such relationships, learning to forgive is a key component in learning to honor. Leslie Leyland Fields, author of Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom From Hurt and Hate, speaks of how forgiveness has the power to travel back through time: not to airbrush the past, but to tell a truer story about what happened. Learning to re-tell the story of a damaged relationship with parents is crucial. We need to recognize our own failings, and acknowledge that we are all made of dust and stumble in many ways. “Our parents did their best,
and they themselves were deeply wounded,” Fields said in an interview with Religion News Service. Acknowledging our parents’ humanity and their efforts are key components in showing them honor. For those who have suffered in painful relationships with parents, showing honor might begin with seeing parents as wounded rather than wicked, and seeking ways to appreciate the good they tried to do. For many, though, the question of honoring parents as an adult is not an issue of a lack of desire or of insurmountable wounds but, rather, an honest bewilderment as to how to practically do it. How do you show honor when you disagree with the advice they give? When they live far away? Or next door? When their comments seem judgmental? Or when you get married and are dealing with juggling commitments to a spouse and to two (or more) sets of parents? From a parent’s perspective: what made them feel honored? And what left them feeling neglected? In a series of interviews posing these questions to the parents of adult children, I was amazed to see a constant and significant trend in the answers. More than anything,
• 52 •
How do you show honor when you disagree with the advice they give?
FOCUS
they just wanted to be acknowledged. Parents with adult children didn’t need their children to take their advice, but just to know they had listened and considered it. They didn’t need their children to be constantly available to them, or to be their “best friends,” but they did want to know they were accepted. “The worst thing is when your kids treat you as if you have nothing of value to offer,” wrote one parent. “We aren’t perfect,” wrote another, “but we do have some insight and we really are trying to help. Just to have that acknowledged goes a long way.” The most often cited source of hurt from parents was feeling disregarded. However, small acts and words of acknowledgement were mentioned by almost all as being the most significant way they felt honored. One mother of three grown sons laughed as she told me: “My son used to set his phone to remind him to call me once a week. He only had five minutes, on his way home from his last class. But he was faithful to call every week, and given that we only had five minutes, we never talked about any hard stuff. But those minutes were precious: they kept the human connection. I felt remembered.”
We aren’t perfect,” wrote another, “but we do have some insight and we really are trying to help. Just to have that acknowledged goes a long way. While relationships between adult parents and children are among the most complex and catalytic of relationships, the question of how to honor our parents as adults ends up reducing to something surprisingly simple: not speaking badly about them, and remembering to speak regularly to them. As it happens, those small acts of honor to our parents are significant acts of honor to God.
• 53 •
Life is busy, and relationships are complex, but Jesus allows none of those as excuses for a failure to honor our parents. The good news is, honoring our parents as adults may not require a terrific expenditure of time and money. Perhaps, it could mean something as simple as a memo in your smartphone reminding you to “Call mom.”
Bronwyn Lea writes about faith and family on her website, www.bronlea.com, and for numerous other publications, including Christianity Today and the Huffington Post. She lives with her husband and three children in California, USA. She hopes that when her children are grown they will remember to call their Mom. Find Bronwyn on Twitter @bronleatweets. Reprinted with permission.
FOCUS
By Dave Willis
• 54 •
FOCUS
One of the most common questions that I get asked on the marriage page relates to having healthier relationships with in-laws. Stress related to family dynamics is one of the biggest struggles married couples face, so it’s important to make those relationships as healthy as possible. Here are some simple ways to improve those relationships and strengthen your own marriage in the process.
Show respect even when it’s not reciprocated* I strongly believe that we should show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of ours. When you show honor to “difficult” in-laws, you’re building bridges of peace that will positively impact future generations. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the effort! *If things are already healthy, keep working to keep them healthy. If the relationship is unhealthy, ask yourself if you’re contributing to the problem or the solution. Be a peacemaker.
Don’t Show Favoritism In most marriages, one sets of parents (in-laws) gets more time and attention than the other. There are a lot of factors that contribute to this but you need to do everything in your power to give equal time and attention to both sets of relatives. Favoritism usually leads
to resentment while consistency leads to trust.
Stay Connected to Your In-Laws (Not Just Your Own Parents) Don’t fall into the routine of being the one who talks to your parents but then handing the phone off to your spouse every time your in-laws call. When your in-laws call, make a point to answer the phone and have a conversation before handing the phone to your spouse. Show them you value them by giving your time and attention. Find simple ways to invest in your own relationships with them.
those differences. Celebrate the uniqueness of each family and find a way to bring both perspectives into your own family’s traditions.
Love Them! The Bible says that “Love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) In every relationship, when we allow love to set the tone, it has a way of covering over the differences and past hurts and binding us together in a beautiful way. Let love lead the way in your family and everything else will probably work itself out!
Have Clear Boundaries A healthy marriage requires that your first and strongest loyalty must always be to your spouse, so don’t allow any other family relationship to come between you. Practically, this means never call your parents when you’re having an argument with your spouse. That will create an unhealthy dynamic between your spouse and your parents. Also, don’t allow anyone (relative or not) to talk negatively about your spouse or do anything that undermines the sacredness of your marriage.
Celebrate Differences Your family’s traditions and ways are probably a lot different than your spouses’ family, but both families are equally important, so value
• 55 •
Dave Willis is a pastor and writer. A trusted voice in the areas of marriage, faith, and family, he has authored three books: The Seven Laws of Love, iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage, and Marriage Minute: Quick & Simple Ways to Build a Divorce-Proof Relationship. He and his wife, Ashley, live with their four young sons in Evans, Georgia, USA. For additional resources, please visit www.DaveWillis.org and www. AshleyWillis.org. Reprinted with permission.
FOCUS
By Cindy K. Sproles
Today’s society has lost a huge part of its compassion. The world of media brings loss, pain, and tragedy into our lives at an overwhelming rate. As a people, we’ve become desensitized to the core values we were taught as children.
• 56 •
FOCUS
When patience runs low or feelings of deep frustration strike, step back and reflect on the dignity that is owed to aging parents. Baby Boomers were raised by parents or loved ones who believed in the validity of a handshake and the importance of treating others as they themselves expected to be treated. The golden rule we learned as children, carried meaning to our parents and grandparents. They held tight to work ethic, honesty, integrity, faith, and dignity. As our parents age, they are faced with the realization and loss of these basic staples of life. It’s a painful process when they must accept the inability to stand alone, loss of their independence or worse, the need to depend on someone else to do what they value as important. When patience runs low or feelings of deep frustration strike, step back and reflect on the dignity that is owed to aging parents. Keep in mind what is hard for us as children is tenfold for our parents. The aging
process brings with it seasons of joy but it also carries fear and loss of personal worth. The “what if’s” of life become vivid reality and the aging parent find themselves torn between dependence and independence. Learning the process of aging takes time. It requires family involvement; children and siblings must find ways to explore the changing needs of our seniors in order to make the transition of seasons smooth and less stressful. As parents age, our own sense of reality is affected. Suddenly, the parents who willingly helped us along the way require our help. Tasks that were once easy for them become labored or fall to the wayside, and we’re taken back by their loss – our loss. Preparation and education are necessary evils no one wants to face. But following these reminders
will help family members reserve the dignity of their elderly. Repetition is not uncommon. Remember as parents grow older and begin to repeat questions, there was a time when we, as children, constantly asked “Why?” Keep in mind the patience our parents exemplified in teaching us and exercise that same diligence with them. When they can’t seem to recall your name, remember there was a time when the only name we could repeat, was theirs. “Momma, Daddy.” When their movements are slow and tedious, keep in mind that it was their loving hands which steadied us as we toddled. If a meal ends up on their clothes instead of in their mouths, don’t forget who patiently taught us to feed ourselves and then gently wiped the goo from our fingers.
Keep in mind the patience our parents exemplified in teaching us and exercise that same diligence with them. • 57 •
FOCUS
Finally, when the reality that they cannot be left alone digs deep into their hearts, remember they never left us alone, afraid, or ignored us as small children, but they kept us close at hand, always watching, always present, always there. As our parents continue to grow older and personal cleanliness becomes a problem, it was they who walked us through potty training and who bathed the mud from our childhood antics, then re-cleaned the tub for the umpteenth time. And when they lose their confidence after a fall, remember the numerous times they held us close after a tumble then encouraged us to forge ahead. It was our parents who cheered us through the rough times as a child and who allowed us to lean against them as adults.
And most of all, when they meet with the fears of forgetfulness and the anxieties of being in unfamiliar surroundings, remember how they stood in the background, just in view, encouraging you to step forward, “You can do it!”
When the frustration of the added “stuff” – walkers, canes, or wheelchairs which have to be lugged out the door and to the car just to take them to the post office, remember the diaper bags, the bottles, the extra clothes, snacks, and “stuff” they toted off their shoulders, while you rested on their hip, legs dangling, and arms squeezing their necks. It was a chore then and it’s still a chore, but worth the effort – worth the love.
When the roles reverse, remember to love and treat our aging seniors with dignity and honor—for without them, we would be nothing. Scripture instructs us to “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2-3, NLT).
Finally, when the reality that they cannot be left alone digs deep into their hearts, remember they never left us alone, afraid, or ignored us as small children, but they kept us close at hand, always watching, always present, always there.
• 58 •
Our obedience to this commandment comes with a promise that things may go well for us when we do so. Preserving the dignity of our seniors as they succumb to aging is the most important thing, we as children can offer our parents. After all, everything we learned, we learned from our parents. If for nothing else, they have earned the right.
©2016 Cindy Sproles. Find her articles, and many more, at The Christian Broadcasting Network, Inc.’s website http://www1.cbn.com/. Reprinted with permission.
FOCUS
Caring for a
Treasure 家有一老,如有一宝
When it comes to caring for our elders, the Chinese have the following saying: 家有一老,如有一宝. (A family with an elderly parent has a living treasure in their home.)
Enjoying the sights at Lower Seletar Reservoir
• 60 •
FOCUS
Madam Lim Kim Tee is indeed a treasure to her family and those around her. A centenarian (she just celebrated her 101st birthday in March), she is a trove of wisdom, experience, and blessings.
Pastors Steven Tay and Margaret Tay (Madam Lim’s son and Pastor Steven’s wife, respectively) share their journey in caring for a centenarian with Carol Lim.
How long has Madam Lim been living with you? Why was it decided that this was the best living arrangement for her? Pastor Steven (PS): Mum has been with us since September 2002. We agreed to be her primary caretakers because she needed an environment that was a little more peaceful and quiet. Among the various family members, our home was the most suitable. We employ the services of a domestic helper to attend to her daily needs as Pastor Margaret and I can get quite busy with ministry.
• 61 •
Several of the siblings come together to help with the cost of employing the helper. What were your initial struggles as her primary caregiver and how did you overcome them? Pastor Margaret (PM): When she first started staying with us, she did something that really shocked and upset me: she would have no hesitation to look into any bag that I brought into the house and would even open the contents!
FOCUS
(Top) Madam Lim in 1969 (Right) Madam Lim and her daughters
Since it was hard for me to change her, I told myself I had to accept her and her ways. I set my own boundaries; whatever I did not want her to see or open up would go straight to my bedroom as she does not touch the things there. If I ever forgot something in the living room and she chances upon it, I knew I only have myself to blame. At the end of the day, what I wanted is a spirit of peace and joy in the house and for that to happen, I needed to adjust and accept her just as Christ has accepted me. Later, God revealed something: she came from a different generation, a
different culture, where privacy was not considered a high value. God reminded me of some Trinitarians who spent a few months with some people from another country. One of the Trinitarians was appalled when one of them took his journal and started reading. I suddenly saw the parallel; my mother-in-law was of a similar culture as those brothers of another land. With that revelation, I was able to understand her a bit better. PS: I have learned that, in many situations, it is not a matter of right and wrong. Often, it’s a matter of preference. • 62 •
Although mum may agree to do something a certain way, she doesn’t always keep to the agreement. For instance, although we agreed not to re-use cooking oil, there are times when she will revert to her old ways. Instead of getting frustrated like I would in the beginning, I do what is within my control. In this case, I just throw away the oil before she gets to it. Another example was an agreement to request assistance if she needed to move about. At her age, mum is aware that there’s a high risk of injury. However, she prefers to move around without assistance. Instead of getting upset, I communicated
FOCUS
(Below) Three generations under one roof
Madam Lim and her sons
that she is responsible for her own actions. I’ve also learned to trust that God is in control and watching over mum. In what ways do you demonstrate love to Madam Lim? PM: I try to catch her indirect ways of communicating her wishes and I follow up. For example, I hear her say that certain foods are very delicious and I will buy them for her more frequently. Now that she is not mobile, I try to source for things that help her to be more physically comfortable.
PS: I try to demonstrate love by using mum’s preferred love languages: touch, quality time, and acts of service. For example, I will try to spend about an hour with her after dinner. During this time, I will hold her hands, massage her legs, and talk to her.
much as practically possible. Her daughter, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren who live overseas regularly keep in touch with her through Skype.
PM: As our parents age, they enjoy having the company of others because it gives them a sense of security. We are blessed that Pastor Steven’s siblings roster to keep her company throughout the week. They also demonstrate love and grace by explaining things to her and including her in as
PS: The hardest part about caring for mum is coming to terms with her physical and mental decline; she is a pale shadow of her former self. There are days she is alert and interactive – her “high battery days” – when she is able to speak and initiate conversations. But there are also “low battery days”
• 63 •
What are the current struggles you face in taking care of Madam Lim?
FOCUS
Five generations celebrating a century of life
when she is aware of what is going on around her but unable to utter a word. How has Madam Lim been a treasure to you both? PS: Her legacy! She has blessed many by being a very loving mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and a great-great grandmother. PM: Her impact! She has a very positive outlook of life, a trait echoed in Pastor Steven and all his siblings. One incident that happened a long time ago comes to mind. While waiting at a junction after a very heavy rain, a bus zoomed past a big
puddle of water and drenched her from head to toe. Instead of being upset, she came home laughing at herself. How would you advise others when it comes to caring for elderly parents, especially when parents suffer from limited mobility, physical health issues, and/or mental deterioration? PS: Perspective is very important because it determines our actions. Is caring for our elderly parents viewed as a privilege or a burden? Also, it’s important to remember that God is in control especially when there seems to be more bad days than good.
• 64 •
PM: Reading about the aging process – the needs and health issues of elderly parents – helps us to better understand and relate to them. Also, if they are Christians, help them to focus on God through all the physical and other challenges they are going through. Honoring our parents is a decision to obey God’s command, to do what every child should do. Looking after an elderly parent requires us to be willing to adjust our schedules and manage our emotions. As parents would trust and lean upon God’s help to take care of their children, adult children also need to do the same as they take care of their aging parents.
FOCUS
No matter where they live, or the kind of relationship we have with them, each of us is called to honor our mother and father.
Here are a few ways we can demonstrate honor to our elderly parents. 1. Express gratitude
Share how specific actions, activities, and values your parents cultivated have left a positive, long-lasting influence in your life.
4. Preserve their dignity
2. Stay connected
In the age of smart phones and Wi-Fi, it has never been easier to stay connected. If in-person visits are not possible, consider making a telephone call, sending a text message, or engaging through FaceTime. If you have children, make every effort to include your parents in their lives. Even if your parents resist having a relationship with their grandchildren, choose to continue demonstrating the value of family to your children.
3. Get to know them
Growing up, we spend a lot of our time trying to get our parents to understand us. Now that we’re grown up, perhaps it’s time to start understanding them. Set aside time to find out more about their history and life experiences.
As our parents age, they begin to lose the ability to operate independently and experience a sense of powerlessness over their lives. Observe their behavior and make time to understand their concerns/ limitations. Even if you have to act against their wishes, provide assurance that you have heard them and have their best interest at heart.
6. Apologize
Every parent-child relationship has moments of anger, sadness, and frustration. Choose to heal past hurts by apologizing for your past actions/behaviors.
In the book When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Dr Gary Chapman shares that people generally respond to five types of apologies: expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, displaying genuine repentance, and requesting forgiveness. Find out which apology “language” your parent(s) best respond(s) to and act accordingly.
5. Provide financially
Growing up, our parents provided for our every need: food, shelter, clothing, supplies. The list goes on and on. Even if they did little to provide for us, we are called to be the better person and provide for them (to the extent we are able) for “…if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those in his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8)
• 65 •
7. Forgive
Parents are human and they will make mistakes. Choose to exercise grace and mercy by releasing them from whatever debts you feel they owe you. Seek counseling if you need help with forgiveness and choose to set everyone free – them and you – from the past.
STATISTICS FOR JAN-MAR 2016
GO–MISSIONS IMPACT TEAMS (MITs) Trinitarians began embarking on mission trips in the second quarter of 2016. Find out how God used them to minister to the lost in the next issue of the Trinitarian!
GO–TRAINING AND CONSULTATION TRIPS
TRIPS
Japan, Romania, Singapore, the United Kingdom, Vietnam
GIVE
Destitute children in Cambodia, India, Indonesia, Myanmar and Thailand sponsored
• 66 •
MISSIONS REPORT Jan-Mar 2016
Church Development
(Helping churches transform by impacting their ministries, ministers and members) For the first quarter of 2016, Trinity focused on equipping churches in other nations through six training and consultation trips to five countries: Japan, Romania, Singapore, the United Kingdom, and Vietnam. These churches were strengthened in their faith and further equipped to carry out the TCC Cell Church Model. We rejoice with them as they see the fruit of their labor through the growth of their leadership and open carecells. We also thank God for the opportunity to strengthen Connect Church in Birmingham, United Kingdom, training them to move in the prophetic and develop as spiritual parents, as well as contributing GBP30,000 to their building project. May God use them to bring revival to the UK!
between Trinity and Jitmaitree Church) ceased operations in March 2016, we are thankful that the seven children from the House of Blessing have transited smoothly into our Champions homes. May they continue to grow strong in the Lord. We would like to extend our heartiest congratulations to four of our sponsored scholars (from Bangladesh, China, and Indonesia) on their recent graduation from the Asia Pacific Theological Seminary. May their ministry continue to be fuelled with passion for the Spirit, the Word, and the lost. Our partnership with Project Rescue will continue in 2016 as we support the ongoing work to minister to victims rescued from human trafficking and prostitution. Since the start of this year, we have assisted by contributing USD35,000. Read about how Project Rescue has given two women another chance at life on p68.
Trinitarians began embarking on missions trips in the second quarter of this year. Find out how God used them to minister to the lost in the next edition of the Trinitarian!
Be a partner in prayer for Trinity’s Missions!
Community Development
• Missions Impact Teams: Journey-mercies and effective, long-lasting ministry
(Helping rebuild communities through tangible acts of love so that they can experience the love of Christ) Trinity continues to support 1,200 destitute children in Cambodia, India, Indonesia, Myanmar, and Thailand. Although the House of Blessing (a joint partnership
• The Champions: God’s presence and peace to be with the children as they grow in the Lord • Ambassadors and Trainers: Fresh anointing and wisdom as they guide churches to transform, grow, and disciple new leaders
• 67 •
Stories of Hope Eurasia and Europe
Trinity continues to partner with Project Rescue in Spain and India to bring victims of human trafficking from the darkness of exploitation to freedom. Read on to find out how Project Rescue has helped women from each of these countries.
India “God, give us a million daughters!” That was the prayer of David and Beth Grant when they stumbled into the dark world of sexual slavery in India 18 years ago. India has four million women who have been prostituted. More than 40 percent are HIV positive. 35 percent are below 18 years of age. Most of these women were forced into sexual slavery between the ages of 12 to 15. In 1997, Project Rescue was born in Mumbai, India through street outreach into the red light district by K.K. Devaraj and his Bombay Teen Challenge team. Other Project Rescue ministry initiatives began in five other major cities in India as God called courageous men and women of faith to engage in outreach, rescue, and restoration.
Alisha’s Story Alisha grew up in a village in western India that practices child sacrifice. Despite being chosen for sacrifice at the age of two, she escaped death. Her life was spared again two years later when she was abducted and later released. But when she turned ten, Alisha’s older sister sold her into the red light district in a large city. Her owners enslaved her underground with other young girls. She was starved, beaten, burned with cigarettes, and brutally gang-raped by her captors. Alisha was hopeless when she arrived at the Project Rescue affiliated site in India several years ago. God worked a miracle in her life through the loving hands of caregivers. She heard the message of Jesus’ love and asked Him to reveal Himself to her. Jesus appeared to her, spoke tenderly, and covered her in His presence. Alisha discovered her true value in God’s eyes and is now a young woman of God. When Alisha first came to the home she was unable to read or write. Now, she has graduated from high school and completed a certificate program in caregiving and counseling. Today, Alisha lives with joy. She knows Jesus saved her so she can be an agent of Jesus’ compassion and saving power. She works in a residential home for children of prostituted women. Once a victim of evil and injustice herself, she now lives to bring Jesus and justice to others in sexual slavery.
• 68 •
SPAIN Bella’s Story As a young woman, Bella worked in the fields. One day a man told her about an opportunity for better work by going to Europe. However, this was a lie.
In the summer of 2012 God opened the door for Project Rescue to extend their reach and take Jesus’ freedom to the sexually enslaved in Europe. According to the Trafficking in Persons Report, Spain is the second highest place of transit and final destination for victims of human trafficking in Europe. The ministry began with an outreach to trafficked women in a local detention center for illegal immigrants. This led to the opening of a safe home where women receive ongoing support and discipleship, allowing for complete restoration and a new future.
She was brought to Spain and forced into sexual slavery. Her captors told her she had a USD55,000 (SGD75,000) debt to repay. Night after night, Bella was prostituted, tortured, and exploited at the hands of her abusers. By a miracle, Bella escaped. However, when the police found her without identificaiton or immigration papers, she was sent to a detention center for deportation. Bella knew she could never return to her family because of the danger of being trafficked again. But then another miracle took place. A Project Rescue ministry director came to the detention center and arranged to bring Bella to a safe home where she could be cared for and restored. Over the next several months, Bella became friends with the woman and the ministry team. The director worked patiently with Bella to help bring physical and mental healing. She also introduced Bella to Jesus. Soon, the young woman – a former slave, chose to put her trust in Jesus for full healing and restoration; and He breathed new life into her spirit. Today, Bella is a new woman. Jesus healed her in marvelous ways and gave her a new life in Spain. Through her friendship with the woman and the ministry team, Bella learned another language, received a permanent work permit, graduated from a vocational school, and joined a church family. God brought a Christian husband into Bella’s life, and together they are serving in ministry. Project Rescue celebrates the transformation in Bella’s life. Through the prayers, service, and giving of God’s people, Jesus redeems and restores women’s lives. He makes all things new.
Source: Project Rescue Web Brochure. (n.d.). Retrieved April 1, 2016, from http://projectrescue.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Project-Rescue-Large-Brochure-Web-Version.pdf
• 69 •
Missions Convention 2016 By June Teh
With your Missions Faith Promise...you will make it possible for God’s love and power to be experienced by every nation and tongue. - Pastor David Godwin
• 70 •
All that we are is a pencil in God’s hand. The story we’re about to write is not just for tonight or tomorrow or the following night – it will be for eternity. One day when we are in heaven, we will find out how our giving has touched, saved, and transformed lives. - Reverend Wayne Francis
Every year, Trinitarians come together to celebrate how the church has carried a “Passionate Heartbeat for the Nations” over the past year. From embarking on missions trips to sponsoring destitute children, Trinity has made a difference in the lives of young and old by meeting felt needs and sharing the Good News. Missions Convention is also a time to reflect on what it means to partner with God so that all men will know Him. This year (March 4-6, 2016), our guest speakers – Reverend Wayne Francis and Pastor David Godwin – reminded Trinitarians about what it means to continue carrying that Passionate Heartbeat by praying, giving, and going. Through personal anecdotes
of their time on the missions field, they reminded Trinitarians that God needs our partnership so that His name will be glorified throughout the nations.
“What’s in it for me?” When we are called to give of our time, talents, and treasures, our flesh will naturally see what we can get out of the situation. Giving to Trinity’s missions endeavors is no different, especially since we may never see the impact of our sacrifice. “When you ask, ‘What’s in it for me?’” Pastor David Godwin, a man who has seen thousands come to Jesus, shared, “I’ll tell you. The salvation of one soul will change your life forever.”
• 71 •
“What does it mean to give to missions?” At Missions Weekend, Reverend Wayne Francis layered the message of missions with a charge for Trinitarians to be a part of God’s great plan. “This weekend is not about me or this message,” he shared, “it’s about you and your relationship with the Missions Faith Promise Card. All that we are is a pencil in God’s hand. The story we’re about to write is not just for tonight or tomorrow or the following night – it will be for eternity. One day when we are in heaven, we will find out how our giving has touched, saved, and transformed lives.”
Choose to give in faith so that more can be done for the glory of God. Concurrently, Pastor David Godwin shared the importance of giving towards missions. “As we’re entering this particular phase of service, I can guarantee you that the angels in heaven are leaning over the balconies of glory, contemplating what’s going to happen [today]. The Missions Faith Promise card is like a ballot, a vote. You can fold up the card and put it in your pocket, effectively voting to withdraw all the missionaries, choosing not to sponsor thousands of children, indicating that you do not want to help the destitute women and children of Project Rescue. There are some of us who will choose to vote cautiously by reducing the amount they will give this year. But let me ask you this: which one of our missionaries will you choose to bring home? Which field out there does not need them?
For those who intend to maintain the same amount of giving as before – yes, Trinity will be able to sustain its missions endeavors. However, she loses the opportunity to sponsor a thousand more children, send the next two missionaries out to the field, or minister to more victims of human trafficking. Choose to give in faith so that more can be done for the glory of God.”
“What are we willing to do?” “What do you get out of it?” Pastor David Godwin asked, “With your Missions Faith Promise, you will literally change the world. You will make it possible for God’s love and power to be experienced by every nation and tongue.” • 72 •
Were Trinitarians willing to sacrifice for missions? As completed Missions Faith Promise Cards came in, it was evident that Trinitarians were choosing to be used for greater things, committing a total of SGD11,488,946.45 for missions. Some even committed their time and talents to go on a missions trip within the year! Trinitarians, thank you for choosing to vote in favor of reaching the lost. May you continue to be used as a pencil for God’s great plan.
What does it take to be a hero? We’ve heard the stories, read the comic books, watched the movies. Heroes are the stuff of legend, men and women that fight the bad guys with amazing superpowers and wear awesome costumes. In the month of February, DiscoveryLand took the children on an adventure to find each of them, with big faith and lots of courage, could also become Heroes of Faith.
DiscoveryLand’s Missions Faith Promise
To demonstrate how ordinary people could do extraordinary things, DiscoveryLand’s pastors and teachers shared the story of two missionaries who sacrificed much so that many could hear the Gospel.
• 73 •
What does it take to be a hero? “It will not do to say that you have no special call to go [for missions]. With these facts before you and with the command of the Lord Jesus to go and preach the gospel to every creature, you need rather to ascertain whether you have a special call to stay at home.” Hudson Taylor, a second-generation Christian, walked away from God to pursue the things of the world. His mother and sister prayed fervently for him and in a personal encounter with God, a teenage Hudson rededicated his life to Jesus. When God revealed that Hudson would become a missionary to China, Hudson learned how to speak and write Chinese. He also mentally and physically prepared to live in a different environment, going as far as changing his clothing choices so
that he could be better accepted by the Chinese people – a decision that his British friends mocked him for. Hudson dedicated his life to raising missionaries and, by 1911, over 950 of them were sharing the Gospel throughout China. At one of the Christian meetings where Hudson Taylor spoke, a young lady was listening. Her name was Amy Carmichael.
“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” When Amy Carmichael heard Hudson Taylor share that 4,000 people die every hour without Christ, she was deeply moved and wrote the following thoughts in her journal: “Does it not stir up our hearts, to go forth and help them, does it not make us long to leave our luxury, our exceeding abundant light, and go to them that sit in darkness?” At the age of 24, Amy set out to be God’s light. Her first destination was Japan
• 74 •
where she served for 15 months before severe health issues forced her to stop. A year later, after a period of medical rest, Amy set sail for South India where God gave her a heart to reach out to unwanted children. She started opening homes so that they could be taken in and cared for. During her 50 years of ministry in that nation, Amy gave hope to hundreds of unwanted children. Her heart never wavered and she stayed in India until her death.
Armed with faith and courage, inspired by the lives of these two missionaries, the children approached Missions Faith Promise Weekend (Feb 27-28, 2016) reminded that they were called to be generous givers and to do good if they were able. Would they be willing to give up playtime in order to share Jesus with a friend? Would they choose to give up their treasures, especially when it was intended for something else? n bless at it ca h t e o s e We hav We giv unate. t r o f e r s the les t h e r ep an so that hu rc h c to give f o ur c o . s e e h iv ht m s en t a t spel w it 12 o G e h share t h, age e n Q ua – L aur
I have learned that missionar ies sacr ificed ever ything – food, culture, and fr iends – for the Gospel. I ho pe to be a missionar y whe n I grow up. – Hannah Pang , age 10
Pastor Priscilla showed us some pictures of children who were suffering and that impacted me. I have a lot that I don’t need but they don’t have what they need. I learned that giving is not just about taking money out of your pocket, it is about giving wholeheartedly. I am willing to help and give wholeheartedly so that other children will have what they need. – Jerome Vasan, age 12
giver and we is a generous d Go at th d learne s 9:7 says, I two weeks, I t 2 Corinthian ha w ke in Li . ly Over the past cheerful luctantly, or nerously and d not give re an ve gi to must give ge h w muc in my hear t ho rous giver. must decide d loves a gene Go as , re su es give for 12 pr response to ain amount to rt ce e e m ed d show as kidding m s Weekend, Go dered if He w on on si w is I M r, ng be ri m Du ount. n that nu fulfill that am r I wrote dow be enough to t months. Af te no ld ou w how much I ly allowance d calculated an as my month s ng vi sa y t all of m new bicycle t aside for a me, I took ou se ho I t en ch w hi I (w n Whe Promises! e amount nishment, th d Vision Faith to an as s y on m si is To M had. gh for my w, I w ill not ball) was enou ith Christ. No w and bowling le ib ss po er ything is I know that ev own me. Through this, at God has sh th nt ou am y ve an hesitate to gi 12 years old n, Ta ah – Josi
I learne d to care for the poor. We mu s t n o t k e ep e v e r y thing for ourse lves. Wh we give, en we are h elping t poor. It h e feels go o d t o he lp. – E zr a K ay, age 8
We thank God that our children have learned the value of living and giving sacrificially. May God continue to use these little heroes for His big plans.
• 75 •
Discipleship in All Seasons Training and Consultation
When a church decides to adopt the TCC Cell Church Model, they never do it alone. Trinity’s pastors and leaders work alongside with them to navigate through the challenges of transitioning into a cell-based model. In 2013, we interviewed Pastor Kaloyan Kudomanov, Senior Pastor of Breakthrough Christian Center (Християнски център “Прелом”) in Sofia, Bulgaria, to find out how the TCC Cell Church Model has turned church life from routine to relational. Jessie Chew finds out how the church has grown and what Trinity is doing to help them move forward.
• 76 •
“Since the last time we spoke, Breakthrough Christian Centre has grown in many ways. After establishing the church’s Core Values, we have seen our members embrace them as a lifestyle. We have seen people grow to focus less on themselves and more on their spiritual community and oikos. Relationships continue to grow and there is genuine care and concern for one another. Indeed, we have become a church beyond Sunday services. As the church moves forward, it has been exciting to see the spiritual climate change as members understand how they are stakeholders in the church. We see laypeople taking ownership of church activities, choosing to grow as leaders in their own right, and partnering with the leadership to see God’s agenda accomplished in our community. As the congregation grows in size and leadership, Breakthrough has more resources to engage in various social issues. From ministering
at refugee camps to organizing a food bank for orphanages/shelters, we see how God is using various platforms for the church to be a voice of influence at the national level.
the church (e.g., worship services, cell meetings, and individual schedules). I left Singapore with greater confidence of moving the church forward towards God’s vision and purpose for us.
During a recent visit to Singapore, Pastor Steven Tay set aside three sessions for personalized consultations. In that time, he showed me how to evaluate and strategize for the health of open carecells. Since I had recently appointed Section Leaders, Pastor Steven coached me on how to develop a personal mentoring plan for each of them. We also discussed how to integrate evangelistic efforts at various platforms within
Trinity Christian Centre, thank you for releasing your pastors and leaders to us. Under their guidance, we have brought structure to our carecells and put in place a system for discipling the next generation of strategic leaders. May God continue to bless your global ministry.”
• 77 •
Mentoring Pastors An Update from the M2 Network Pastors Daniel and Priscilla Kumar are the Senior Pastors of Trinity Assembly of God in Chennai, India and have been members of the Ministry and Mentoring (“M2”) Network since June 2014.
• 78 •
How did you become a part of the M2 Network? In 1990, Pastors Naomi Dowdy and Dominic Yeo came to India with a vision and mission. In that trip, Trinity Assembly of God was born. Over the years, many of Trinity’s pastors and laypeople have invested their time and talents into our church by coming to Chennai to help us organize and run evangelistic meetings. As the church grew in number, our members also grew in spiritual maturity. Leaders were empowered, carecell members grew in evangelism, and carecells began to multiply. When the M2 Network started, Pastor Dominic invited us to join so that we could be part of a larger mentoring network.
How has your ministry benefited from being involved in the M2 Network? The M2 Network gives us the opportunity to interact with, and learn from, other pastors in the M2 Network. We have good fellowship and are continually encouraged that we never walk alone in Kingdombuilding. How has Pastor Dominic left a lasting impact on your ministry/ church? Pastor Dominic has been with our church for over 25 years and we consider him to be our key mentor. We are grateful for the wisdom and insight he has given at every stage of the church’s growth. Personally, we are blessed that Pastor Dominic also has been with us through the different seasons of
• 79 •
life, sharing our joy as we became engaged, got married, and started a family. His guidance at every season of our lives has helped us grow to who we are today. We would love to support you in prayer. Share with us some areas we can pray along with you and your church/ministry? Thank you for asking. Please pray with us that: • God will grant us a permanent place of worship (currently, our worship services are being held in the local YMCA); • God’s provision will be with believers affected by the recent flood; and • God will grant the church protection (both physically and spiritually) and favor.
Raising Spirit-Filled Leaders If the students can’t come to us, then we’ll go to them. Conducting courses as guest lecturers in overseas institutions is one of the ways TCA College develops leaders for service in the ministry and marketplace. Pastor Dennis Lum (Dean, School of Theology English) shares about his experience as a guest lecturer at the Myanmar Evangel Bible College in Yangon, Myanmar. “What’s the difference between Pentecostals and Charismatics?” “Why is the baptism in the Holy Spirit so important?” “What happens when we are baptized in the Holy Spirit?” These were just a few of the questions I encountered while conducting a module on Perspectives in Pentecostalism. The curiosity of this class of 21 students showed how eager they were to be equipped for the ministry. TCA College is committed to making disciples of all nations. Teaching outside of Singapore helps to keep us culturally relevant; by speaking with local leaders, we gain a better understanding of how the Gospel is spreading throughout their country.
The highlight of the course was when the class experienced the manifestation of the Holy Spirit. I prayed for five students who wanted to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. During that time of prayer, God poured out His Spirit on everyone and the room was filled with His presence. The manifestation of the Holy Spirit, evidenced by the speaking of tongues, brought theory to life and added a fresh dimension to their learning experience. The sight of my students beaming and shedding tears of joy remains a precious memory to this day. TCA College faculty regularly preach at local churches during overseas teaching trips. On one weekend, I was invited to share God’s Word at Bethany Christian Church where I • 80 •
was pleasantly surprised to find a TCA College alumni actively serving there. Seeing some of the fruits of our labor was a tremendous encouragement to me. Another student from Myanmar is set to complete her studies at TCA College this year and also will return to serve at Bethany Christian Church. With such strategic leadership in place, I am certain that the impact of TCA College will only continue to grow. The churches in Myanmar are multiplying and there are many opportunities for the Gospel to spread throughout the nation. My prayer is that God will continue to allow TCA College to equip more leaders and continue to be a blessing to the nation of Myanmar.
God Centered • Life Transforming • Culturally Relevant
School of Counseling Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Master of Arts in Counseling Master of Arts in Pastoral Counseling School of Creative Arts Continuous Learning Program Creative Arts Workshops Trainings and Consultations School of Theology English Department Certificate in Ministry Diploma in Theology Bachelor of Theology Graduate Diploma in Christian Studies Master of Arts in Intercultural Studies Master of Arts in Ministry Master of Divinity
神学系(中文部) Chinese Department
圣工证书科 Certificate in Ministry
神学文凭科 Diploma in Theology
神学学士 Bachelor of Theology
圣工硕士 Master of Arts in Ministry
道学硕士 Master of Divinity
神学硕士
Global Recognition, Global Partnerships • Asia Theological Association • International Registry of Counsellor Education Programs • Singapore Association for Counselling • Theological Seminary of the Assemblies of God of Spain (Facultad De Teologia Asambleas De Dios, Spain)
Master of Theology 249 Paya Lebar Road #03-11 Trinity@Paya Lebar Singapore 409046 www.tca.edu.sg • 6304 7602 • admin@tca.edu.sg
Family Matters A Relationship Transformed and Renewed By Care Community Services Society
Growing up, Jerry’s (not his real name) home life was dysfunctional. With parents preoccupied with running the family business, Jerry and his older brother were raised under the supervision of their grandparents. Things took a turn for the worst when the business failed and his father left the family. Jerry’s mother remained a distant parent during his formative years, serving time in prison for the business’ employment of illegal workers. Feeling abandoned, Jerry felt that his parents never cared for him or his brother. By the time Jerry was 18, he was addicted to online gambling and desperate to fund his habit. He turned to gang-related activities to get quick cash and acted as an enforcer for unlicensed moneylenders. This lifestyle caught up with him. He dropped out of ITE and was eventually convicted of harassment for forcing overdue debtors to repay their loans. Life seemed hopeless when he began serving a two-year sentence at the Reformative Training Centre (RTC). As part of the Community Reintegration Program during his time at RTC, Jerry was assigned a caseworker (Wee Woon), from Care Community Services Society (CCSS), who worked with him on several issues. Wee Woon was in close contact with officers from the
Singapore Prison Service, updating them on Jerry’s progress. Wee Woon also worked with Jerry to integrate him back into society post-RTC. The first issue they tackled was improving Jerry’s family situation. After RTC, Jerry moved back into his mother’s house, an arrangement that was far from ideal. Jerry and his mother didn’t know how to effectively communicate with one another. They were also worried about their financial situation. Jerry was unemployed (but looking for a job) and she wasn’t making much as a canteen assistant. Through frequent home visitations, Wee Woon helped both parties to focus on Jerry’s recovery and reintegration, exploring ways to improve communication. “Both of them agreed that talking face-toface was their preferred mode of communication,” shared Wee Woon, “Since they were more passive in nature, Jerry and his mother agreed to be more open with one another. Although progress was slow, it was encouraging to see them going in the right direction.” After a period of time, the relationship between Jerry and his mother improved. Jerry started opening up to her to share about his challenges and seek her advice about life matters. • 82 •
Now 20 years old, Jerry has found employment as a café assistant, and resolves to live a clean, gang-free life. The bonds between mother and son have improved drastically. “I am delighted to be able to care for him again,” shares Jerry’s mother.
What is a Reformative Training Center (RTC)? RTCs are a program under the National Committee on Youth Guidance and Rehabilitation (Ministry of Social and Family Development) that house young offenders, between 14-21 years old, who have been sentenced by the Court to undergo reformative training. This training consists of two phases, outlined below. 1. Residential Phase – Trainees undergo counseling, academic and vocational training, and may be enrolled in other programs (e.g., Family Involvement, Community Reintegration). 2. Supervision Phase – Trainees are expected to work, study, or carry out community work while under the care and supervision of Prisons Reintegration Officers until their release.
PULSE
IGNYTE’s Valentine’s Event “What’s one thing you remember from a Valentine’s Day event you attended?”
February 13-14, 2016
The committee pondered on that question at the first planning meeting. “We prayed and sensed that God wanted to bring us deeper both as a ministry, learning to cast our nets wide and reach out to more of our oikos, and also in re-consecrating our lives to Him. God wanted us to pursue Him as our first love.
We didn’t want the event to be remembered as some drama or a funny game show. It had to have a message that they could repeat and take home.” – Sera Cheng, Committee Member IGNYTE’s three-part Valentine’s series – Love, February – was designed to do just that. Cherie Ong shares IGNYTE’s journey to discover true love.
What is love?
“What should I do if I have a crush on a fellow carecell member?”
On Valentine’s Day weekend, IGNYTErs and their oikos came together to have all of their burning love and relationship questions answered. IGNYTE leaders – single, dating, and married – answered a multitude of pre-submitted queries. Oohs, ahhs, and ha-ha-hahs filled the room as leaders left no question unanswered.
“Can someone of the opposite gender be my best friend?”
“What is the right age to start dating?” “What do you like about your spouse/the person you’re dating?”
• 84 •
By sharing real life experiences and the godly principles used to guide their decisions, leaders assured the youth that they were there to help them make wise relationship choices. Pastors Kah Fei Chung and David Sashi also issued a call for the youth to make Jesus their Only Love. At the end of the event, the youth came together to recite a statement of commitment to love God with all of their heart, soul, and spirit.
PULSE
So honey now, Take me into your loving arms... February 20-21, 2016
In the following weekend, more than a hundred first-time visitors came for Only One’s interactive game show. The youth scrambled to find answers for random love-related trivia and racked their brains to remember the lyrics to popular love songs. Two IGNYTErs, Ada Cheng and Aaron Chin, ended the event by sharing why they chose to make God their Only One. At first, they tried to find meaning through romantic relationships: a pursuit that proved heart-
breaking and futile. It was when they chose to pursue a relationship with Jesus that the emptiness in their hearts was filled with purpose and a new outlook on life.
“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6
February 27-28, 2016
Over 2,500 youth attended Love, February and 18 decisions were made for Christ. Only God can be given the glory for this successful event!
On the last weekend, IGNYTErs and oikos returned to find out why Christians say that Jesus is the Only Way. Many IGNYTErs struggle to explain why they believe in Jesus, especially in a world filed with “insta-knowledge.” Although information is now available at the tap of a screen, figuring out and explaining the truth is another story.
Through this special sermon, Pastor David Sashi helped the youth grasp the truth of Jesus in a simple yet powerful way. Armed with practical handles, IGNYTErs can now move forward confidently in sharing their faith with others. “I am reassured of God’s love for us and that, through Him, anybody can be saved.” – Genevive Tan, 17
For more about IGNYTE and the latest happenings, visit their microsite at www.trinity.sg/IGNYTE. Follow the IGNYTErs on Instagram
• 85 •
@ignyte.trinity
PULSE
Out Of This World (OOTW) was a camp like no other as INGYTE’s poly folks dared to do things they have never been done before. 86 campers staked out at The New Charis Missions for a 4-day, 3-night encounter with God (April 11-14, 2016). The atmosphere was heavy with excitement and anticipation for a breakthrough in their spiritual life. Hannah Lee (Camp Committee Member) shares more.
DAY 1 The poly campers gathered at Trinity@Paya Lebar to start the day with crazy team games. From stocking fights and glow-in-the-dark dodge ball, players went all out for the very attractive first prize: a chauffeured, air-conditioned ride to the The New Charis Missions! As the winners relaxed in the church van, the rest of the poly campers made their way via public transport. Once everyone had settled in, the rest of the afternoon continued with OOTW games that drove one message home: we must continue to live our lives right before God.
• 86 •
PULSE
OUT OF THIS WORLD
Day 2
IGNYTE POLY CAMP 2016
It was time to face our fears. A challenge was set before the poly campers and IGNYTE leaders: to take on the High Elements at Seremban camp! Despite a fear of heights and feelings of inadequacy, the community cheered one another on to complete the tasks. It was amazing to see everyone come together, a prophetic prelude to the unity our ministry will have in the days to come.
Day 3 After two days of exhilarating fun, it was a time to wind down with workshops. During the workshop on prayer, the poly campers were challenged to pray like never before. The campers, using the book of Acts as their guide, bore a burden for their generation by going on their knees and crying out to God in prayer. Without realizing it, they had prayed for 45 minutes non-stop. What a breakthrough for the poly campers! “I feel really blessed to have been able to experience breakthroughs in my prayer life. I usually run out of things to pray about after two minutes and was surprised that I could be stretched to 30!” – Eleora Chua (Year 1, Republic Polytechnic)
During the night service, it was the IGNYTE leaders turn to pray over the poly campers, empowering them to be a blessing to their generation.
Just as they thought they could wind down from a long day of learning, the poly campers were sprung with one last surprise: a night mission! Though batteries were low, the all-night excursion would help them understand that walking with God required commitment and perseverance, especially in the midst of emotional, physical, and mental fatigue.
with God. It was truly OOTW as the poly campers cheered each other on through the night, a final lesson on how each of them needs to be rooted in a community of faith to be encouraged through the hurdles of life.
The campers took to the Park Connector Network, trekking along around the East Coast area and completing missions to proceed on: each checkpoint a place where they reflected on their journey
In the wee hours of the morning, camp commenced with a well-deserved McDonalds breakfast before campers went home to rest and reflect.
• 87 •
Day 4 It was so amazing to see God move in this camp. I believe that as our poly youth continue to be defined by God, we will continue to be a ministry that is OOTW for Jesus!
PULSE
OUT OF THIS WORLD TESTIMONIES
“After signing up for OOTW, I discovered that a school orientation would clash with the third day of camp. Although I was disheartened, I prayed that God would make a way for me to go for all of OOTW. By God’s grace, my lecturer not only allowed me to skip orientation but also wished me a fruitful time in camp. OOTW was a time where God touched my heart, assured me of His faithfulness, and tackled my fears. Like many others, I am still a work in progress but I can truly say that God is a faithful and will fulfill our prayers in His perfect time.” – Odelia Tan (Year 1, Nanyang Polytechnic)
“Before coming for OOTW, I asked God what is going to be in it for me. His response: this camp was going to be what He was going to do through me. As we progressed through camp, I was disappointed that I couldn’t encounter God like I did in previous camps. When I brought this up to God during a quiet time, He reminded me that this camp was not about me. That’s when I realized that He wanted me to seek Him differently. Instead of focusing on myself, I began praying for different ones during an altar call. It was in this act of servitude that I began to feel His presence; OOTW was a time where He wanted me to develop a heart for this generation and to put others before myself.” – Theodore Tan (Year 2, Singapore Polytechnic)
“I went into Poly Camp with a desire to get a fresh ‘wineskin’ for a new season of ministry. Though I expected God to move in a certain way, His ways were much better than my ways. Before OOTW, I struggled with a striving mentality and constant feeling of inadequacy. I dealt with all this by pushing down my feelings. However, God dug all these things out of the innermost corners of my heart so that He could deal with them. God shared how He is proud and pleased with me and opened my eyes to see that His love is enough for me. Through Exodus 4:12, God also assured that He will give me the right words to speak, that I can proclaim the faithfulness and unfathomable greatness of God because He will to be the One to make me strong when I am weak.” – Kristal Goh (Year 3, Ngee Ann Polytechnic)
“A few days before OOTW, I askied God to prepare my heart for the camp – to give me a fresh revelation as I begin a new season in Republic Polytechnic. He led me to Joshua 1:9, ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.’ I wasn’t sure about what God was trying to say until the second night. When Pastor Gary prayed for me during the altar call, one of the things he shared was that I should not be afraid and that it was time to be bold by stepping up in leadership. Everything clicked and I knew that God was asking me to rise in faith by remembering that He is still in control of my life.” – Mark Cheong (Year 1, Republic Polytechnic)
For more about IGNYTE and the latest happenings, visit their microsite at www.trinity.sg/IGNYTE. Follow the IGNYTErs on @ignyte.trinity
• 88 •
TOUGH QUESTIONS
By Dr Richard Goetz,
TCA College
to The account of God asking Abraham to physically sacrifice Isaac as an offering (Genesis 22:1-19) presents many challenges for us today. For some, like atheistic biologist and ethicist Richard Dawkins, the challenges to God’s morality (for asking) and to Abraham’s morality (for obeying) are so great that they justify one’s rejection of the very idea of the existence of God. Dawkins considers this account “morally obnoxious” as he sees God’s request amounting to bullying and Abraham’s compliance akin to child abuse.i But is it? When viewed from the Christian context, God is asking Abraham only to do that which He would ask any and all of His followers to do: to love, honor, and obey Him. In the case of Abraham, in order to find out whether Abraham truly loved and feared Him above all else, God uses a common method that any of us might use to discover the truth: God puts Abraham to the test (Genesis 22:1).
• 89 •
TOUGH QUESTIONS
By Dr Richard Goetz,
TCA College
Tests are part of God’s saving and strengthening purpose – preserved, purified, proved, disciplined, strengthened and discipled – so that we can move forward in God’s purpose for our lives.
Why Undergo a Test? God will test all His followers at some juncture of his/her life (e.g., God testing the children of Israel during their time in the wildernessii) to reveal to the person the extent to which they love, fear, obey, and worship Him. Tests are part of God’s saving and strengthening purpose – preserved, purified, proved, disciplined, strengthened and discipled – so that we can move forward in God’s purpose for our lives. When God puts us (His followers) to the test, we are often unaware that we are being tested until it is over. For example, we (the readers) are told that Abraham was tested by God (Genesis 22:2), something Abraham is unaware of until he actively attempts to sacrifice Isaac (Genesis 22:12, 16-18). In Singapore, we are familiar with the concept and importance of tests. Tests, by definition, are given to determine whether something
has been absorbed or understood. The issue we have in Abraham’s story is the kind of test God initiated, one based on extreme moral conflict. Abraham is forced to choose between his devotion and obedience to God or preserving the life of his son; he can’t do both. Through the request to sacrifice Isaac, God wants Abraham to see if he truly loved, obeyed, and feared the Lord. There is no sinister connotation here, no temptation. This is unlike human tests that may be based on doubt, trickery, or deception. God tested Abraham, and will test all His followers, to see whether we can “walk the talk” – a demonstration of our willingness to trust God. He tests us not so that we would learn new things but to prove/reveal the state of our heartsiii.
Abraham’s Lifetime of Tests The question still remains: why does God use this particular test for
• 90 •
Abraham? Couldn’t He have used a test that didn’t involve such morally questionable actions? The request to sacrifice Isaac was the culmination of a lifetime of being tested by God. Abraham passed some of these tests with flying colors. In the beginning, Abraham followed God’s call to leave his homeland, and his extended family, and go to a land God would show him (Genesis 12). Abraham also believed God’s promise of a son (Genesis 15:6) even though he and Sarah were well-past childbearing age. Furthermore, he had all the males in his household circumcised despite the excruciating pain of the procedure (Genesis 17). However, Abraham demonstrates an inconsistent track-record in trusting and obeying God; there were some tests that he outright failed. In Egypt, he deceived Pharaoh by introducing Sarah as his sister (a half-truth) (Genesis 12) and did so again to Abimelech in Gerar (Genesis 20). He also slept with Hagar (Sarah’s servant) in order to create a family and heir his own way (i.e., through a woman who was not his wife) (Genesis 16).
TOUGH QUESTIONS
Irrespective, isn’t God cruel and immoral to test Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his son? To answer that, we must go back to God’s covenantal promise to make Abraham, and his descendants, into a great nation through whom the entire world would be blessed (Genesis 12 and 15). By departing from his homeland of Ur, God was asking Abraham to trust Him enough to leave his past behind. Now, through the sacrifice of Isaac, God was asking Abraham to trust Him for the future promised through this miracle child. This ultimate promise required ultimate faith, something that could only be substantiated through the ultimate test. If Abraham’s test had been to choose between his love for God over his own life, that would not be enough for Abraham had already risked his own life by going to war to rescue his nephew Lot (Genesis 14). Although experiencing loss by having something taken away by God is also a test that also would not be enough.
The Test Above All Others The ultimate test must demonstrate that our love for God surpasses our love for the things most important and/or precious in our lives. This requires that the object of our highest desire, devotion and love be
voluntarily surrendered, forfeited, and handed over to God. We see this sort of test occur in Jesus’ encounter with the wealthy young ruler. When challenged to sell all his possessions and give the proceeds to the poor, the ruler’s refusal revealed what was more important: wealth versus eternal life (Luke 18:18-27). The voluntary surrender of our most prized possessions is the essence of the first commandment, “You shall have no other Gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3) As theologian Michael Novak also noted, “Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice.”
The Morality of Human Sacrifice But what about the issue of human sacrifice? How could God request Abraham to do something so immoral and why did Abraham proceed to carry it out? First, we need to understand the request in its original context. In the days of Abraham, human/child sacrifice was a regular occurrence in the ancient Near East. The common religious understanding was when a god (supposedly) granted an increase/blessing, it would be entitled to a portion of that increase.iv For example, if the god
• 91 •
of fertility granted you abundant crops or a large family, the god would be entitled a portion of the crops or your family, respectively. Child sacrifice was common enough during the time of Moses that God had to command the Israelites not to give their children to be sacrificed to the pagan god Molech (Leviticus 18:21). Given the times in which he lived, it was unlikely that Abraham was surprised by God’s request to sacrifice Isaac, especially since Abraham was just beginning to understand that God was not like the other gods. Thus, the eventual prohibition of Isaac’s sacrifice drew an important distinction between God and the practice and demands of the cultures in that period. Moreover, it’s important to recognize that ethical obligations exist in a hierarchy where some obligations are more important than others.v For instance, when a severely-deformed fetus threatens the well-being of the pregnant mother, the fetus will generally be aborted in order to save the mother’s life. Under normal circumstances, the termination of the fetus’ life would generally be viewed as immoral, however, doing so in order to preserve the mother’s life (i.e., honoring the higher ethical obligation) would generally be viewed as morally acceptable. In the case of Abraham – where he can either love, honor, and obey God or preserve the life of his son – loving God was the higher and more important obligation.
TOUGH QUESTIONS
By Dr Richard Goetz,
TCA College
Although, under normal circumstances, human sacrifice would be considered immoral, Abraham was placed in a unique situation to heed a higher ethical obligation (i.e., obeying a request from God) and attempting to fulfill that request could be seen as morally acceptable. This ethical Christian hierarchy explains why many atheists (including Richard Dawkins) have such problems with this event. Since atheists don’t recognize the existence of God, they also don’t recognize the highest good of loving and obeying Him. By seeing God’s request, and Abraham’s willingness, through human eyes and with human obligations, such a vantage point invariably renders both God’s request and Abraham’s actions immoral. It is difficult, if not impossible, to view God’s request to sacrifice Isaac in a test of love and faithfulness if a sovereign, holy, and loving God does not exist. However, if such a
The ultimate test must demonstrate that our love for God surpasses our love for the things most important and/or precious in our lives.
God does exist, then God’s unique request would be considered moral because its objective is to demonstrate Abraham’s first love and priority. Therefore, Dawkins’ atheism disqualifies him from commenting on the actions of the very God he believes does not exist.
Further text indicates that Abraham is confident that even if Isaac died, God would somehow fulfill His covenantal promise to bless him and make him a great nation by giving Isaac back to him (“We will worship and then we will come back to you.” – Genesis 22:5)
Perhaps surprisingly, the text gives no evidence that Abraham struggled with the ethical nature of the situation; he seems to have understood that obeying God’s request must be higher than everything else.
Abraham carried his decision through until, in the very act of bringing the knife down to slay Isaac, he is stopped by God: “Do not lay a hand on the boy. Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” (Genesis 22:12)
Regardless, God understood the difficulty of the request, noting the love Abraham had for Isaac (“Take your son, your only son, whom you love...” (NIV)) In one translation, the request is gentle (“Please take your son...” (ISV)), a possible indication of God inferring to Abraham that, “I know you don’t understand but I’m asking you to trust me.”vi
• 92 •
The command of God prohibiting the sacrifice of Isaac indicates that God never intended Abraham to go through with it because God knew Abraham’s heart. However, since Abraham didn’t know this, such devotion to God had to be demonstrated through his willingness to sacrifice, surrender, and give up that which was most
TOUGH QUESTIONS
Love is not a feeling of happiness. Love is a willingness to sacrifice. Dr Richard Goetz precious and dear to him – the child of the promise.
Being Tested by God Today Like Abraham, would God ever test us with such an extreme moral conflict? As mentioned, God will test us (His followers) to measure the extent of our love, faith, and trust in Him. We read that King David, in Psalm 139:23-24, invites such tests from God (“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”) While God sometimes does allow, and even use, moral conflict to test our devotion and integrity
(e.g., lying for personal gain, blaming others to avoid taking responsibility for our actions), God will not put us through the same test He put Abraham through, for Abraham’s role in the history of Christianity is one-of-a-kind. Abraham was the first person God chose to enter a covenantal relationship, becoming the instrument of God’s blessing to all mankind. This generational blessing was specifically promised to come through the very child Abraham was asked to surrender: Isaac. Though God’s specific request, and Abraham’s specific situation, was unique (i.e., not repeatable), the principle behind it is still applicable to us today. Though God may never ask us to sacrifice someone in the literal sense, He may ask us to sacrifice a relationship that is not pleasing to Him. In such situations, it is up to us, as Believers, to decide what to do, “For where [our] treasure is, there [our] heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)
• 93 •
has been a professor of theology at TCA College since April 2010. He earned his Ph.D. in Philosophy (Systematic Theology) from Marquette University in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA. Dr Goetz’s teaching interests include systematic theology, ethics, apologetics, and church history.
Sources consulted i Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion (London: Transworld Publishers, 2007), 274-275. ii Walter C. Kaiser, Jr., Toward Old Testament Ethics (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1983), 263. iii Walter C. Kaiser, Jr., Peter H. Davids, F. F. Bruce, and Manfred T. Brauch, Hard Sayings of the Bible (Downers Grove, Illinois: Inter-Varsity Press, 1996), 125-127. iv John H. Walton, Victor H. Matthews, and Mark W. Chavalas, The IVP Bible Background Commentary: Old Testament. (Downers Grove, Illinois: Inter-Varsity Press, 2000), 53. v Norman L. Geisler, Christian Ethics: Contemporary Issues and Options, 2nd ed. (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2010), 97-115. vi Paul Copan, Is God a Moral Monster? Making Sense of the Old Testament God (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2011), 47-48.
UPCLOSE
Does your carecell meet in the comfort of a home? That’s only possible with the generosity of your carecell host opening up his/ her home week after week!
Why and how do Trinity’s carecell hosts exercise such hospitality? Hwee Cheng Koh (North District) and Timothy and Jessie Ng (East District) share their journey with Lye Huixian.
• 94 •
UPCLOSE
Tell our readers more about yourselves and the carecells you host. Jessie: Tim and I got married in 2014 and moved to Punggol later that year. We became carecell hosts in 2015, three months after moving into the neighborhood. We also colead the carecell. Hwee Cheng: I’ve been opening my home to other carecells since 2008 (the carecell I’m part of meets elsewhere). The current carecell is the third one to meet in my home.
What’s the level of commitment like? What are the inconveniences of hosting?
What were your concerns about opening up your home on a weekly basis? Timothy: The carecell needed a new home because the previous host married and moved to another carecell. When Jessie first told me about the situation, I had my doubts. I am very particular about cleanliness, devoting a few hours every week to make sure the home is tidy. Hosting a carecell also meant that we would have to rearrange our Friday night schedule. At that point, both of us were consultants at a Big 4 accounting firm and our working hours were long and unpredictable.
Jessie: We open up our home on Friday nights for a few hours. We make it a priority to get off work earlier in order to prepare refreshments, turn on the air conditioning, and tidy up. Hwee Cheng: I’ve given a set of keys to the carecell leaders so that they can open up the home themselves. When I’m not traveling, I try to come back and prepare some drinks for them.
Passing on the blessing
• 95 •
I was worried that we wouldn’t get off of work in time to unlock and prepare the house. Hwee Cheng: Opening up my home has been a journey of learning to exercise grace and trust. In the past, I would only let close friends/ family members come over. Other than that, I felt that it was an intrusion on my privacy.
What changed your mind? Hwee Cheng: I learned about the importance of stewardship when my carecell was going through New Choices. God also dealt with my perspectives during quiet time, reminding me of His faithful provision over the years.
UPCLOSE
When I finally agreed to open my home, Pastor Alan See worked with me through the whole process, helping me to set up house rules and acting as the liaison between me and the carecell leaders. He also agreed to personally open the doors to my home for a season. Eventually I became more comfortable with my role as a host and allowed the carecell leaders to have their own set of keys. Timothy: After going through a very difficult season the year before, God led me to remember Deuteronomy 8:11-18 where God reminds the Israelites not to forget Him in times of prosperity. The way that we got home is a constant reminder that He was the one that provided us with this home; we were blessed with the home of our dreams in order to be a blessing.
What keeps you opening your house week after week? Timothy: We believe it was not a coincidence that God provided us a home in Punggol. Jessie and I could have purchased a home anywhere in Singapore but we chose this neighborhood because
At home in Punggol
we were attracted to the vibe here. Eventually, we started to see how strategic our home was. The northeast has a lot of young couples, men and women that were going through the same season of life as we are. Nowadays, we see our home as a lighthouse attracting others to be part of the body of Christ and pointing people to continue growing in God. Jessie: Demonstrating hospitality requires a willingness to be inconvenienced. However, I choose to do it because it is a value instilled from youth. Growing up, my family practiced hospitality on a regular basis. My parents were very intentional about creating spaces in
• 96 •
our home where people could gather and relax. That’s why showing hospitality is very important for me. Hwee Cheng: I experienced how carecells impact lives by supporting one another in the carecell community. When my mother passed away, I was blessed to have my carecell come together and support me through that difficult season. I also saw how my leaders opened up their homes for carecell and wanted to do the same for others. I am glad that my home can provide a safe and cozy environment for carecell members to share more openly and freely. As they come together to praise God, share about
UPCLOSE
life, and encourage one another through testimonies, lives are being transformed. Our actions speak louder than words; therefore, it’s important to model the godly behaviors we want others to take on. Just as my leaders (Stanley and Nancy Yow) demonstrated hospitality to me, I now choose to be that example for others.
Have you opened your home for other needs? Jessie: We open our home to host pastors that come for Trinity’s annual conferences and have done that for the past three years. The pastor(s) stay in our guest room for the duration of the conference,
Hwee Cheng: I also host pastors that come for Trinity’s conferences. A few years ago, I hosted a missionary intern from China that was attending a Pastor’s Conference. I recently found out that he has become a pastor in Indonesia. What a privilege it is to partner with God to advance His Kingdom!
Timothy: Being a carecell host is about loving God and loving His people. The inconveniences we face will pale in comparison to the privilege of seeing lives transformed. Moreover, when we choose to honor God, He will honor us. Since opening our home for carecell, I saw how God made it possible for me to leave early on Friday night; I don’t even have to take work home. Praise God for wisdom and favor.
Lastly, what would you say to someone who is thinking about opening their home as a carecell host?
Hwee Cheng: Take that first step of faith! Often times, the biggest obstacle we face is ourselves. Yes, there will be sacrifices but if we choose to have a Kingdom perspective, we will have the privilege of experiencing heaven on earth.
sometimes longer if they choose to extend their time in Singapore.
Let us know by: • Indicating your interest at the Information Counter (Level 2); With Pastor Kaloyan at Missions Convention 2016
• Emailing us at connect@trinity.sg; or • Telling you carecell leader you want to open up your home!
• 97 •
(Clockwise from top) Pastor Dominic with his mentor, Pastor Kitano Little Zacchaeus inserting flyers into the bulletin Pastor Sabrina’s mom receives salvation!
Find out the story behind these photos in Issue 03/2016!
• 98 •
Trinity Christian Centre
Celebration Services
Encountering
God Lives
Transforming
Trinity@Paya Lebar 247 Paya Lebar Road
Trinity@Adam 21 Adam Road
English Services
English Services
IGNYTE Services (ages 13-20) Sat 5pm • Sun 10am
IGNYTE Services (ages 13-20) Sat 5pm • Sun 11am
Pre-Teens Services (ages 10-12) Sat 5pm • Sun 10am
Pre-Teens Services (ages 10-12) Sat 5pm • Sun 8.30am
DiscoveryLand Services (ages 4-9) Sat 5pm • Sun 10am
DiscoveryLand Services (ages 4-9) Sat 5pm • Sun 8.30am & 11am
Chinese Services
Chinese Services
Weekend Services1 Sat 5pm • Sun 10am
Sat 5pm • Sun 10am2
Weekend Services1 Sat 5pm • Sun 8.30am & 11am
Sun 8.30am & 11am
Filipino Service Sun 10am
Indonesian Service Sun 10am Japanese Service Sun 10am Spanish Service Sun 10am Thai Service Sun 10am
Tel: 6468 4444 • Email: connect@ trinity.sg • Website: www.trinity.sg • 99 •
1
Concurrent Nursery services
2 With Cantonese interpretation via headsets.
Information is correct at time of printing and is subject to change.