Issue 02/2011
Connecting with your Children Addre essi sing tthe he g growing row diviide betwee en parents and kids
Up close
Defying the Odds Pulse
The King has come! Focus
Should dating couples holiday together?
www.trinity.net
O U R CELEBRATION SERVICES Trinity@Adam 21 Adam Road ENGLISH SERVICES Weekend Services, Nursery & DiscoveryLand* Sat 5pm • Sun 8.30am & 11am Pre-Teens Services (ages 10-12) Sat 5pm • Sun 8.30am IGNYTE Services (ages 13-19) Sat 5pm • Sun 11am CHINESE SERVICES Sun 8.30am & 11am
Trinity@Paya Lebar
V I S I O N
Vibrant
Incredible
We see our worship services, prayer meetings and carecells as places where people hunger for the presence of God and where God delights to inhabit and dwell. In a vibrant atmosphere of worship, prayer and discipleship, we see people encountering God and the manifestation of signs, wonders and miracles.
We see Trinity Christian Centre as a church living together in covenantal relationships; where carecells, ministries, families and individuals are flowing in corporate unity to fulfil God’s purpose and plan for the church for that hour.
Atmosphere
Unity
247 Paya Lebar Road ENGLISH SERVICES Weekend Services, Nursery & DiscoveryLand* Sat 5pm • Sun 10am Pre-Teens Services (ages 10-12) Sat 5pm • Sun 10am IGNYTE Services (ages 13-19) Sat 5pm • Sun 10am CHINESE SERVICES Sat 5pm • Sun 10am** FILIPINO SERVICE Sun 10am INDONESIAN SERVICE Sun 10am
Passionate
Heartbeat
We see a people consumed with a vision to touch the world for Jesus Christ and to see His glory displayed throughout the world. We see a church with a passionate heartbeat to fulfil God’s global agenda through sending men and women of faith to equip and empower churches and the body of Christ.
Strategic
Leadership
We see the church as a place for the empowerment and development of Spiritfilled leaders who will be strategically positioned and deployed within the Body of Christ. Every Trinitarian a leader with a ministry.
THAI SERVICE Sun 6pm * Nursery (birth to age 4) & DiscoveryLand (ages 4 -12) ** With Cantonese interpretation through earphones. Information is correct at time of printing, and is subject to change.
RADIO MINISTRY Thought for the Day BE107 - Mon to Fri 7.40am & 10.30pm (repeat broadcast)
OUR CORE VALUES Passionate Honour Passion to love and honour God
Audacious Fervour Boldness and zeal to believe and ask largely for the impossible
Relentless Belief Unwavering belief in people and their God-given destiny
TRINITY CHRISTIAN CENTRE Tel: 6468 4444 • Fax: 6467 6005 Email: admin@trinity.org.sg Website: www.trinity.net
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Contagious Faith Authentic and infectious faith that reaches out to the lost
Contents Issue 2/2011
Special Report 20
Connecting with your Children Addressing growing divide between parents and kids
27 BIBLE DADS and MUMS Try your hand at this quiz!
up close 14 DEFYING THE ODDS Overcoming barrenness and disabilities
54 TRINITARIAN HERO Skilful hands, servant heart
Win!
Email connect@trinity.org.sg to tell us what you think of the Trinitarian and how you were blessed by it. This issue’s star letter gets a $50 Swenson’s voucher.
Win!
Take the quiz on p 27 and stand a chance to win a $20 Starbucks voucher. Three vouchers to be won.
fo c u s 28 NOT MARRIED BUT HOLIDAYING ABROAD TOGETHER Should dating couples holiday together?
envision 32 TRANFORMING YOU Take the journey from potential to fulfillment
36 DEFINYTION Trinity’s Youth Academy 5
Issue 2/2011
Contents
ADVISER CHIEF EDITOR EDITORS
EDITORIAL TEAM
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS
pulse 8
THE KING HAS COME! A time for sets, songs and salvations
12 PRAYER WORKS Harnessing the power of prayer
38 BLUEPRINT IGNYTE’s first poly camp
heartbeat 42 YOUR LIFE, YOUR GIFT Pray, give, go
45 CELL CHURCH CONFERENCE 2011 Churches testify of breakthroughs
46 MISSIONS at a GLANCE Overview of activities from Jan-Mar 2011
40 WHAT A WEEKEND! Young Adults grapple with current issues
48 DEFYING GRAVITY D’Artistes shines with theatrical flair
52 RUNNING WITH FIRE New season in Singapore Assemblies of God 6
CONTRIBUTING DESIGNERS EDITORIAL SUPPORT
Rev. Dominic Yeo Pastor Janice Chng Kevin Kwang Tan Rou’en Carol Lim Chen Xiufang Chia Ban Seng Diana Lim Gabriel Chu Ivan Koh Kevin Kwang Moo Yubin Quek Yan Ying Sabrina Ng Sharon Lim Vince Yip Nicole Yeong Peter Teagle Lynette Lim Daphne Hong Dennis Thong Eugene Ng Janella Ang Jayni Wong Jonathan Siow Law Kian Yan Pearly Tan Pufferfish Studio Twenty4Frames Faith Koh
Sarah Lau Veronica Teo Woo May Yin
ADVERTISING SALES & ADMIN Sarah Lau Tel: 6304 7718 Email: sarahlau@trinity.org.sg MAILING ADDRESS Singapore Post Centre Post Office PO Box 616 Singapore 914021
Congratulations to these winners of a personalized TAWG package: ➔ Sarah Lee ➔ Deamy Sng ➔ Joshua Lim
The Trinitarian is published quarterly by Trinity Christian Centre. Company registration number 197802911H MICA (P) 102/03/2011 Printed in Singapore by Image Printers Pte Ltd License number L007/09/2010 All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without express written permission is prohibited. Opinions, views and advertisements do not necessarily constitute the official stand of the church.
MESSAGE – Senior Pastor
Parenting is a tough job yet a fulfilling one. Our children are growing up in an environment of great changes in their physical, psychological and social arenas. At the same time, the demands of work and ministry are also increasing. Faced with these changes and pressures, how can we best connect with our kids? As a father, I reach out to my children by making time to be with them. This helps me know them better. I also look for opportunities where we can do the things they like together. During those shared moments, I speak to them as a friend, and not as a parent.
Follow @PDomYeo
I adopted this approach in a recent conversation with my son about bullies and gangs. I asked him how he felt about them, whether he knew any and how he would deal with it.
He said that he could have become like them but he chose not to. I asked him why. He shared that he knew that we would be disappointed if he had become like one. He talked about choices and how he made a conscious decision to be as best a Christian he could. That conversation with my son changed me. I am glad that I took time out to just have a meal with my son and to enter his world. Today, we are closer than before. If you are agonizing over getting through to your children, fret not. In this issue, we give you simple tips on how to connect with them. (See Connecting With Your Child, p 20, for the full story). Let us know how this issue has blessed you!
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pulse
The KING has
Trinity’s Easter drama The King hit the high notes and explored the depths of human emotions as it showcased Christ’s life and sacrifice in all its glory. By Sharon Lim
As the 12 disciples bantered in tune to jazzy riffs, accompanied by stylish choreography performed ably by a 97-strong dance cast, the scenes contrasted with that of a beaten and bruised Jesus struggling under the weight of the cross, trailed by a loud, agitated mob. This was more than apt as the highs and lows of this year’s Easter musical, The King, which was staged over two days on April 21 and 22, mirrored the eventful life of Christ. With a fresh, creative interpretation yet preserving the essence of Jesus’ time on Earth from His birth to the crucifixion, the musical colorfully and vividly fleshed out the miracles and sacrifices Christ made, which a rapt audience happily lapped up.
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The musical, which was first written and performed by Trinity in 2003, had evolved to include a bigger cast and grander setting to when it was performed at Trinity@Adam. No less than 186 cast and crew members – Trinitarians with a flair for the dramatic – took part, and together with skilled craftsmen helped build the exceptionally huge set that fit the stage in the Sanctuary at Paya Lebar. And their hard work paid off. As many responded to the altar call given by Pastor Sabrina at the end of the services, others were moved to tears as they left church that day knowing that they encountered a living God who loves them and died for their sins. In the end, more than 185 people gave their lives to Christ via the musical. Praise God!
come!
Acting in Faith A simple act of obedience saw Zhang Ming Fang receive Christ during Easter and Shermaine Tay, who invited her to The King, shares how this unfolded. At first, I did not know who to invite for my carecell’s tea party or Easter presentation. It was only as I prayed for God to give me a name that Ming Fang just popped into my mind. It was then that I made a commitment to God that I would invite her for the party. I wasn’t hopeful she would attend, much less make a decision regarding her salvation. In spite of my usual fears, I pressed “send” on my phone and invited Ming Fang anyway. To my relief, she readily agreed to come for the tea party. During the party, as I handed her the invite for The King, God somehow exchanged my doubts for His peace and assurance. Even though
Ming Fang didn’t confirm her attendance then, I continued to pray and trust that God would move her heart. And He did. The day before Good Friday, Ming Fang told me she would be able to make it for the Easter presentation! As the drama unfolded, Ming Fang witnessed the healing ministry of Jesus and was deeply touched by the love of Christ. She responded to the altar call. Later, Ming Fang shared that during the presentation, her tears kept coming down as she “felt something tugging” in her heart. It was the scene of the cripple crawling on the ground, whom Jesus healed, that left a lasting impression on her. “His love can heal us and He won’t abandon us”, she said. Ming Fang’s life is now transformed as is mine, for a moment with the King changes everything. 9
pulse
Does participating in a largescale production like The King seem daunting to you? What does it take in terms of talent and time commitment? Chia Ban Seng spoke to some of the cast and crew to find out.
Honored to Serve the King
I decided to avail myself to serve God without knowing what to expect. It turned out to be a lot of hard work, but I enjoyed learning the backstage craft, making new friends, and I fell more in love with Jesus as I served! Michson Ang, polytechnic student Crew: sets personnel
I am very proud of my sets team and very privileged to work with such like-minded people who wanted to do their best for God! I feel very satisfied that all our hard work paid off, seeing the many who came to receive Jesus. Gerard Setho, software engineer Crew: sets manager
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I felt Jesus’ overwhelming love and pain during the Calvary scene, and God led me to switch roles from a mocker to that of a mourner to minister to the audience. I learnt that every role in the drama counts in saving souls. Audrey Guo, pet groomer Cast: townsfolk (formerly supposed to dance but for a leg injury) I felt very inadequate when I was asked to be a dancer. But as I gave God what seemed my “least�, it seemed to result in more fruits. I managed to invite more friends to The King, one of whom rededicated her life to Jesus! Leong Jia Li, undergrad Cast: townsfolk and dancer
What can you find in DiscoveryLand (DL) during Easter? A nutty professor, brainy experiments, mind-boggling puzzles and lots of exciting activities! A total of 445 children, of which 117 were first-time visitors, attended the event where they were transported back in time to learn about the Jesus who loves, forgives and cleanses them from sin. 75 children received Jesus into their hearts!
I was saved through one of Trinity’s musicals in 1999. I felt that if someone could spend the time and energy to go through all that preparation just to bring God’s message to me, I too should do the same to reach out to those who need to know Jesus! Andrew Chua, manager Cast: lame man healed by Jesus and dancer
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pulse Pre-Service Prayer 15 minutes before every service HEALING And the prayer of faith will cure the sick and the Lord shall raise him up… James 5:15 The pastors and congregation prayed for my aunt who suffers from breast cancer. She has recovered and does not even need to go through chemotherapy anymore. Mrs Chua SALVATION Brothers, truly my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is for it to be saved. Romans 10:1 Thank God for salvation of Mr Lim last night! Will Young PROVISION And all things, whatever you shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive. Matthew 21:22 Thank God! He provided a capable supervisor for my final year project, and graciously made it such that the school approved my request to graduate later! Dawn Praise God! He is my Jehovah Jireh. My sales orders are coming in now! PS Niu Thanksgiving to God for giving our children, Dylan and Daryl good results in their exams. Kenneth Tang
Prayer brings life and power, as Ivan Koh discovers after speaking to Trinitarians who attended our Pre-Service and Morning Prayer sessions.
PEACE AND PROTECTION Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication…let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6
POSTERITY But the angel said to him, Do not fear, Zacharias. For your prayer is heard, and your wife Elizabeth shall bear you a son... Luke 1:13
Thank God for the safe return of my dad and the shipping crew. God is good! Joseph Yio
Praising our good Lord for His blessing upon Hsu Loong and Li Boon…they are expecting their first baby! Mr Ho
Praise the Lord for saving my daughter, Kimberly from drowning in Texas, U.S. She was pulled into the river four times before she was rescued. Margaret Seet 12
Prayer works
Thanking God for the conception of our baby after six years of trying! Anita
Morning Prayer Feb 14-18, 7-8.30am The presence of God during the worship, especially on the different promises of God and the transference of blessings helped break my mindset. Tay Lay Lay
The pray Th a er ay erss off fello low lo w T iin Tr nit i aria ans n rev veale ed G Go o od’s Word to me, to ou uched my he earrt an nd was ve wa very ry relevant ev t to t var ario ous u a pect as pe ts of my lif life. fe. Titu Ti tuss An ng
Let’s have more of such Morning Prayer meetings! Thank you Pastor Dominic for sharing with us all that God had spoken to you. Pearly Chan
Through the whole Morning Prayer experience, I was able to look beyond my struggles and understand the right response to adopt. This is one of the best prayer meetings I have attended. It would be great to have more of these! Karen Teo The time spent with the Lord was awesome. I left the church edified and this sustained me through the day. Dennis Singham
“There is vast difference between saying a prayer and praying.”
Church Prayer Meeting
Come to to find out what praying really is!
Happening every first Wednesday of the month, Jul 6, Aug 3, Sep 7, Oct 5, Nov 2 and Dec 7.
Next round of Morning Prayer: Mon-Fri, Nov 14-18. Come seek the Lord at sunrise! 13
u p c l o s e > REAL LIFE MIRACLE
Defying the Odds Despite having diffi difficulties culties conceiving and d later later supporting their daughter, daughter Raena, to overcome her dyslexia, Jason Yeong and Chan Kit Yee share how God turned things around for them even when all seemed impossible.
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e tiied the knot in n 1996 6 an and d be egan our jour u neyy of mar a ri ar ried d lif ife e toge geth ther.. Like anyy ot an othe herr co he coup uple le,, we had dp pla lan ans ffor or our fami fa mily mi ly. y We We bel e ie eve ved d in b buiild din ng st strong g fam amililyy bond bo ndss es nd espe peci pe cial ci ally al ly with h ou our agei ageing ag ng p par aren ents ts, and d offten n tr trav avel e le el led d wi w th h tthem m on hol olid days. Kit Yee was allso p wa pu ursuin ng her dr dream off com ompl plet etin ing he h r part-ttim pa me de degr gree ee cou urse and so we deferred starting st ng a fam mililyy of our own.
one of tth one he service cess in 2 200 02, ttha ha at God God worked His miira racl cle e. During the service ce, Pa astor Dominic gave an alta ar callll for couples who wan a ted to have children en to step fo forw war a d fo f r pr pra ayer. We immedia ate tely ly recognized that God had pr prom ompt pte ed that ca all ffor or u us.. Holding our hands to ogether tight htly lyy, we we sste tepp ped out of our sea ou ats a and wal alke ked ke d towards th he fr front to receive prayer.
It wass onl n y five yearss llat a er, in 2001, when we de eci cide cide d d to o sta art our ur ffam amilily, y, to our surprise and d sa di sappointtme ment, we fou ound nd Strangely, even though the th hat nothing g was hap ppe pening. womb is situated below the We con o su ult lte ed professionals ed abdomen, Pastor Dominic an nd soug ugh ht medical help. After ht a ot an o he er ye yea ar, still nothing placed his hand on Kit Yee’s happ ha p ened ed. Disappointment back instead to pray for us. bega be gan to set in. It w was as iin n earl rly 2002, after regularly experi rie encing a pa pain n iin n her abdomen which forced dK Kiit Yee to visi sitt he her doctor, that she was diag gnosed with ha avi v ng g a fibroid blocking her fa fallopian tube. We then arranged for Kit Yee e to have the fibro roid remo m ved and, with the succcessful operatio on, our hopes were once again ho n ra aised. Yet, month ths of tryi tr ying and waiting cam a e and went, wi witth no sign of a pregnancy.
WAITING ONGOD GOD WAITING ON D We clung on to God through gh this season though, believin ing in His promises and attendin ng
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Stran ngely, even th though the he wo omb is situ uat ated below ow the abdome en, P Pastor Do Domi m ni mi nicc pla placed his ha hand on Kit Ye ee’ e’ss ba ack ins nste ead to pray forr uss. We We rec eceive ece ved d th he prayyer in fait fait i h and d went ntt h ho ome.
Itt was as onl nly la ater te th hat we disccovered tha at Ki Kitt Ye ee ha ad an inverte ed ut uterus, an nd Pastorr Dom ominicc h had d divin nely, and accurately, placed his is han nd on n the e bacck of the wo omb mb rat atherr tha an on the front. t.
BIRTHING BIRT THING OF M MIRACLES IR RACLES The e fo followin ng mo on ntth, we reccei e ved gr grea eatt news ne ew f om fr om o our gyneccolog ogis ist: t: Kitt Ye Ki Y e was prreg egna nant ntt! We W saw the e ulltr tras asou ound nd sca c n with th joy and exc xcit item ment. It was
a he h alth thyy fe fetu tus! s! Go G od ha had ad gi g ve ven us a mira miiracl ra accllle e!! It ha e h d to ob be e Go od an nd Go od al alon on ne. e. Nine Nine n mo onth on nth thss late la t r, te r ourr llit ittl te tl ange an gell wa was ad dd de ed to o our familly. God o ga g av ve eu uss tth the e na nam me Ra ae en na, mea e ning ng “p pure pure e and an d cllea e n”. It was apt pt be b ecaus ec u e Kit Yee e wa w as diiag agno ose s d with th gessta t tio onal dia abetes ab t s durin ng herr pre eg gn na an ncy, but b both h Kiit Y K Ye ee a and Ra aen na’s b oods bl dstrea e mss we ere im mme medi dia attel e y clea ar off diia abe betes duri rin ng th he de deliiv ve ery ry. Itt was th he se econd nd of se seve v ral miirra acle es to co es c me. It was as in G Go od’’s pe p rffec ec t timi ming ng th hatt Ra ha R ena ma made d he er gr gran a d en ntr t an nce e iin nto ou ur livess. Unkno own wn to ou us, s, iit w was al wa a so so th he be begi g nn gi nnin ing in ng of o ourr jo ou jour ur n neyy of ne of diisc d scov o ery. ov y
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up close NOT AGAIN, GOD? Raena was like any other child. She loved playing with water, especially at the water playground at the Singapore Zoological Gardens, and enjoyed drawing, dancing and reading. She had a favorite TV program, Barbie’s Magic of the Rainbow and a favorite cartoon character, Spongebob Squarepants. She had food preferences: mushroom soup, and a favorite color, purple. She also had innocent ambitions – when asked what she would like to be when she grew up, she would say “a florist!” And, like almost every other child in Singapore, she struggled with Chinese and multiplication tables. It never crossed our minds that she would have a learning disability. In 2009, when Raena was six, she started to resist going to her childcare centre on certain days each week. This persisted for a few weeks. We thought this was just a phase as she had enjoyed going to that childcare centre since she was 19 months old. We monitored the situation and found out that those were the days she was tested on spelling and was not doing well, getting a zero or at most one out of five correct.
Raena soon developed a phobia for spelling days. We had a talk with her teacher, who commented that Raena just needed to pay more attention in class. She even attributed it to a problem with Raena’s eyesight. We thought that perhaps Raena needed more time to master spelling. Our suspicions grew when Raena continued to struggle with forming her words. How could Raena not cope with five easy words, even after we requested for the spelling list to revise at home? She had even started phonics lessons early. We were baffled and felt helpless.
GLIMPSES OF HOPE During a conversation with a close friend, we chanced upon the Dyslexic Association of Singapore (DAS). Raena was brought there for a full assessment and was diagnosed to have mild dyslexia, a reading disability. That explained her weakness in languages, especially with reading and spelling, though she scored well in IQ and memory. In fact, we realized her memory was so good she had simply memorized the words of her books. She never really learnt how to read! We were shocked at the diagnosis, that it had gone undetected for such a long time. We finally understood Raena’s struggle with spelling, and a sense of sadness started to sink in. With this major literacy and academic disadvantage, how was Raena going to read her textbooks and write the many reports required in our education system?
How could Raena not cope with five easy words, even after we requested for the spelling list to revise at home?
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It wasn’t easy accepting the fact that Raena was dyslexic, but despite the many questions running through our minds, there was an underlying peace in our hearts. We refused to let the diagnosis be a death sentence. We refused to let it shake our hope and faith in God. We knew we had to hold on to the One who had given our little girl to us. We really witnessed God’s hand of guidance upon our lives. There was a time when we were deciding
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3 1, 2 Raena learning through multi sensory methods at DAS 3 Raena in front of her school
which primary school to place Raena in. With the diagnosis, the choice was clear: a primary school which offered support to dyslexic pupils.
Located just a few streets away from our place was such a primary school, one of the few selected by the Ministry of Education to help students with dyslexia. Furthermore, that school did not just focus on academic excellence but excelled in the arts such as dancing, which Raena is interested in. We knew Raena was in good hands. We began the necessary steps at DAS to help Raena pick up basic reading skills. Our carecell and friends in church came alongside us to encourage us and showered lots of love on Raena. Raena’s primary school teachers also constantly motivated
and spurred her on. We drew strength from all their constant encouragement.
FACING PARENTAL CHALLENGES When she entered the school, studying was a huge mountain to scale. We were worried that her daily homework would drain her. We would take time to go through her homework with her and pray with her. We prayed that God would give her more confidence in her school work. Most of all, we hope that she could just continue to enjoy her schooling experience. We would encourage her to just do her best. We also did the best we could to help her prepare for the exams. It has not been an easy journey, but God has been gracious to us. At times, while doing homework with Raena in the evenings, there would be many
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up close
From Raena:
I practice very hard and I pray to God and God gives me wisdom.
struggles. The way a dyslexic thinks and learns is so different. As parents, we could not fully understand and so we were at a loss to getting around the problem. We took up courses for parents, subsidized by DAS. We tried different multi-sensory methods to help Raena learn her reading and spelling. Using assessment books or worksheets for practice were out of the question as the words all seemed ‘jumbled up’ in the eyes of a dyslexic child. 18
LORD, YOU’RE AMAZING We were anxious for Raena, not in her results, but of her confidence in attempting the exams. But the anxiety was unfounded. In her final examinations last year, Raena scored Band 1 in all her three subjects! We were simply shocked. Her good results defied the circumstances of her learning disability. We were full of gratitude to God. When we asked Raena how she overcame her examinations, she said matter-of-factly, “I practice
To parents of children with learning disabilities:
very hard and I pray to God and God gives me wisdom”. We attribute her response to her strong foundations in God that have been laid at home and in DiscoveryLand. Amazingly, Raena has been scoring between 90% and 100% for her weekly spelling this year. Raena’s ability to read has also shown a marked improvement. It was such a joy seeing her read to herself and even to her six-year-old sister.
Every child is a gift from God. With God, all things are possible. Accept the fact that your child is unique despite his or her disability. Seek God and seek available help.
To Raena:
Daddy and mummy will always love you, because God has given you to us. You are so special. You are so precious.
Each time when we felt like giving up, we prayed even more with Raena. In this whole miracle of life, God has taught us as parents to grow in our perseverance, patience and love for Raena.
God has a divine plan for your life. Like the Yeongs, you too can experience His sovereign provision and grace. Begin by inviting Him into your heart with this simple prayer:
In this journey of faith, we have learnt to wait upon God, that although we may not see His hand, we can trust God and His promises – that He has good plans for us. If God can turn things around for us, He can surely do it for you! T
‘Dear God, please forgive me of all my sins. I believe Jesus died on the cross for me and rose again on the third day. Thank you for taking away all my sins. Please come into my life and be my Lord and Savior. In Jesus’ name, I pray, amen.’ 19
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G “
ood character is largely attributable to a loving, safe and stable family and social environment – conditions for which we were not responsible.”
So wrote Timothy Keller in the book The Reason for God, succinctly putting across what children can benefit from if given the right foundations and upbringing. The flipside, he added, is equally important to recognize. He said: “Many [people] have had instead an unstable family background, poor role models and a history of tragedy and disappointment.”
Explaining, he said that many adults in Singapore do not understand the basics of parenting but simply assume what these skills are. He also questioned the lack of quality parenting books written to guide and point Singaporeans or Asian parents in the right direction. Of more pressing concern, though, is that parents are not recognizing that their children’s developmental stages are being pushed earlier due to a series of developments such as improving technology, rising affluence in our society, early education, among others.
Connecting with your Children Parents are essentially called to be role models for their children and to impart the necessary skill sets for them to navigate through the often arduous journey of life. However, there’s a shifting landscape where parenting skills are concerned and a pressing need to address certain challenges that have crept in as society unrelentingly advances.
Rewriting Parenting 101 Sam Kuna, Dean, School of Counselling at TCA College, for one, thinks “parenting 101” needs to be rewritten.
“Our children are picking up signals all the time during their pre-lingual stage and many adults with children have not caught on with this rapid change,” he pointed out. These signals include picking up language and motor skills and ability to correlate one item to another at an earlier stage, explained Sam. The introductions of Apple’s iPhones and iPads as well as other touch-related mobile devices, for example, have definitely made it easier to keep children entertained for longer periods
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of time. The sight of many parents putting cartoons on or allowing their toddlers to play with Angry Birds on their mobile devices during mealtimes can attest to this growing phenomenon! Furthermore, our preteens and early teenagers are approaching “moral dilemma” issues much earlier than previous generations had to, the counselor highlighted. These issues can vary from entering puberty for girls to boys getting interested in their female friends very early on, he said.
Loving kids right Pastor Johnathan, District Pastor of the Divine Exchange and Wholeness (DEW) ministry in Trinity, meanwhile, also highlighted two other challenges he observed while interacting with parents of Trinity Christian Centre.
Evolve your parenting styles Secondly, he pointed out that parents are not picking up on the fact that their parenting styles have to change as their children grow up. Using German-born developmental psychologist Erik Erikson’s theory on how every person has nine stages of growth from birth to death as an example, the pastor said that parents need to understand that kids at different age groups have different needs and are exploring to fill out different facets of their character and personality.
C While these developments taking place are not wrong by itself, Sam stressed that it is occurring at a younger age for children across the board as they have easier access to information through the Internet and other media platforms.
However, authorities that play a significant part in shaping children’s perspectives on these issues such as the family institution, schools and other religious organizations like churches and mosques aren’t attending to this development faced by their charges fast enough. In fact, many Singaporean parents still put off sex education talks until it becomes inevitable, by which time the child might already have learnt about it through other sources, he added. Sam asserted that parents
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could actually bring up the subject of “the birds and the bees” to their children as early as possible within the safety of the family environment. That said, he cautioned that every child matures differently and the approaches to engaging children in these conversations need to be “age-appropriate”.
Firstly, he said that parents are either not aware of or are not making a conscious effort to learn their children’s specific love languages. This, in turn, might result in the child thinking he is not loved by his parents and become attentionseeking or insecure as he grows up, he pointed out. For instance, constantly buying gifts for a child whose love language is quality time will mean he doesn’t receive the love he craves. This perceived lack of affection will be further highlighted when parents have to discipline the child.
“The poor kid, already thinking dad and mum doesn’t shower affection on him, now gets scolded by them too! This just reinforces the child’s perception of being unloved,” said Pastor Johnathan.
For instance, a parent that has consistently been an authoritarian figure since the child’s young, formative years will have to learn to mellow and give the child more space to explore his identity upon entering adolescence or there will be much friction between them, which creates tension in the family.
According to Erikson, this stage of a child’s life is known as “fidelity”, when the kid will start questioning and forming his own identity: how he is going to fit in, where he wants to go in life, etc. The psychologist added that if the parent allows the child to explore on his own, he would eventually come to his own conclusions. Conversely, if the parent continues to be overly strict and herds the child through choices of the former’s choosing, the teen might face identity confusion in the future, he pointed out. Therefore, adults should find the balance needed to help lead the child firmly yet with enough room for him to discover life on his own terms, Pastor Johnathan urged.
Becoming better parents Drawing from their professional and personal experiences, both men suggested practical, day-today tips and handles for parents and would-be ones to enhance the connection and time spent with their kids.
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RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN FAILINGS We are not perfect. That’s a given. Acknowledging that fact and looking critically at our weaknesses and shortfalls as a person and a parent would be a good start to becoming more empathetic and loving parents. After all, as Sam pointed out, parenting is about how fathers and mothers “define themselves, their values, worldviews and paradigms” and imparting these to their children. Once you’ve taken stock of your own upbringing and what worked and what did not, you would have a better understanding of the direction you would want to pursue in terms of teaching and equipping your kids.
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HAVE FUN WITH YOUR KIDS This might be a fairly obvious suggestion, but it’s easier said than done. Many of us have been guilty of simply “being around” with our children after work or during the weekends but not engaging them in activities or conversation. To this, Pastor Johnathan urged parents to make a habit to have fun with
the kids that, in turn, would give them added incentive to want to spend time with their young ones. Taking each child out individually, having a meal or going for a movie together, are some things you can do to learn more about the child and build up a strong bond with each other, he said. Also, don’t always talk about serious topics like the need to succeed in school or they would dread going out with you.
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TEACHING FAITH LESSONS Faith lessons, according to Pastor Johnathan, are windows of opportunities to help teach kids about God and helping them see God in the midst of their daily activities. He added that, oftentimes, these lessons tend to be drawn from the parents’ own journeys of faith. For instance, his daughter Hannah, now 19 years old, benefited unexpectedly from a faith lesson he taught her when she was still in primary school (see p 25). He also penned down all his experiences with God for his two children, who have both read his testimonies as they were growing up, so that they would know the reality of God in his life. These tips are particularly useful for Trinitarians who have always wondered how to raise their kids up as Christians beyond Sunday school and church services. 23
Speaking their language For children to feel loved, parents should and must learn to speak their kids’ love languages as every child has a special way of perceiving love, wrote Dr Gary Chapman, coauthor of Five Love Languages for Children.
PHYSICAL TOUCH This can be expressed through a kiss, hug or a simple pat on the back. You could also cultivate the habit of holding the child while reading to him or her. As the child grows older, they might expect more expressive forms of touch such as a bear hug or piggyback rides. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION The tongue is sharper than any sword where kids who perceive love through words are concerned. Rather than constantly criticizing their every shortcoming, you can
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make a positive impact in your children’s lives with words of praises, affection and encouragement. QUALITY TIME There’s no time like the present to shower your kid with focused attention (and not with an eye on the TV screen). Details such as positive eye contact, planning for the time spent together and having fun playing are some recommended tips for people with children in this category. GIFTS The act of giving gifts is a slightly trickier expression of love because it’s not always clear if the present is given out of love or other not-so-positive reasons. Chapman added that a child’s “emotional tank” must already be full for the gift to be received as love, otherwise the child will feel that you’re just “buying” their love. These gifts may not always need to be pricey − a handmade card or a rock with interesting properties, which you know would appeal to your child, are good presents to give as well. ACTS OF SERVICE Parenting is already a service-oriented vocation but to distinguish your expressions of love to the child, these acts could be done to model, for example, responsibility and compassion for the less fortunate around them. You should also not take this expression to mean doing everything for your kids lest they take you for granted!
Hannah’s faith lesson Discover how Pastor Johnathan’s simple faith lesson for his daughter helped shape her formative years. When Hannah was in primary school, she was constantly bullied by her classmates. Initially, we enrolled her into Swiss Cottage Primary School but when an opening came up in Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary School six months on, we transferred her there. That’s when Hannah’s ordeal began. On her very first day in school, her schoolmates did not allow her into the auditorium because they said we, the parents, did not contribute to its building fund. Poor girl, on her first day and she was hounded out! The bullying went on and despite us going down to see the form teachers and principal often, there was not much done to protect her or to improve Hannah’s situation. One night, when she was in Primary 3 and I was praying with her, she turned to me and asked: “Why’s God not doing anything to help me?” Taking a few moments to think over my response, I said: “I’ve got only two verses to share with you, and that is Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” and Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” That was a faith lesson, but back then I had no idea how she would respond or make use of those two verses. Furthermore, the bullying did not stop and she continued to face challenges in school. In Primary 5, however, things began to improve. After another meeting with the principal, in which both my wife and I threatened to pull Hannah out of the school, the teachers began to take action and our daughter’s situation in school picked up through to her graduation. It was then that she saw how God has heard her and changed the circumstances in her favor. Fast forward to secondary school, Hannah achieved 220 for her PSLE results, but it wasn’t enough to get into Fairfield Methodist, which had a cut-off point of 240. We appealed though, and were excited when the school called us up for an interview.
During the interview, the principal asked Hannah why she should accept her into the school, at which she confidently said, “Because I’ve got a passion for God!” The principal turned to us and said that in all her time as principal, no prospective student had used that reason before. We were squirming in our seats now, unsure of how Hannah’s response would be received but, to our relief, she was admitted. The next four years were good ones for our daughter and she excelled in school, so much so that she was invited to deliver the valedictorian speech for her graduating cohort. One thing I remembered distinctly from her speech was when she said, “Many of you have asked me how I had overcome all my difficult times, and it was the two verses that my dad shared with me when I was younger that helped pull through those times.” When I shared the two verses with Hannah, I never knew how she would apply it in her life but she clung on to those two promises from God and she just ran with it. It’s quite amazing to see how God has worked in her life. T
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quiz
Bible DADS and MUMS
Try your hand at this quiz!
1. Which father prayed and offered sacrifices for his seven sons and three daughters regularly? A Abraham B Noah C Job
2. Which mother released her son to serve God in full-time ministry? A Lydia B Hannah C Rachel
3. In Ephesians 6:4, Paul said ‘Fathers, ____________________; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord’? A do not excuse your children from PE B do not entertain your child’s tantrums C do not exasperate your children
4. Which father went to Jesus to seek for his ill daughter to be healed? A Nicodemus B Zechariah C Jairus
5. Which parent was a bad example when he got drunk and had to be covered by one of his sons? A Noah B Jeroboam C David
6. Proverbs 13:24 gives this advice: ‘He who ______________
Email your answers in this format to connect@trinity.org.sg Name: Contact: District: Answers: e.g. 1-A, 2-B…
Win a $20 Starbucks voucher! Three vouchers are up for grabs.
hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.’ A spares the rod B buys many toys C yells a lot
7. What is the name of the grandmother who left a legacy of faith for Timothy? A Eunice B Lois C Ah Ma
8. Which parent failed to correct his two sons when they sinned against the Lord, allowing them to do as they pleased instead? A Saul B Elijah C Eli 27
fo c u s > YOUNG ADULTS
holidaying Not married but
abroad together...
Why and Why Not?
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by Peter and Lynette Lim-Teagle
I
t was potentially a huge loss of face. The Christian couple we were doing marriage prep with were faced with the fact that we were not prepared to continue meeting with them until they agreed to sort this issue out. The issue? For convenience and to save money, they had just moved in together. With only three weeks to go before the wedding, they thought it was no big deal. After all, they assured us, they were ‘not doing anything they shouldn dn’t’. You mi You migh g t th gh thin inkk we w w wer ere e be bein ing g too to o ha h rd o on n th them em,, es em espe peci cial ally ly w whe hen n th heyy ass ssur ured ed du uss th t att tthe h y wer he we ere re not ot sllee eepi eepi p ng g tog o et ethe h r. he r. But th the e is issu sue, e, we e, expl ex exp plai a ne ned, d, w was a not as o o onl nly nl y av avoi oidi oi diing n immo im m ra mo r li l ty ty,, bu b t av avoi oidi ding di ng eve v n th the e ap ppe pear ear aran a ce of iim an mmo mora ra ali lity ty,, no ty nott to o m nt me ntio io on th the e fo fool olis ol ishn is hnes hn esss of of put utti ting ting g th hem emse selv se lv vess in th he wa wayy of o hug ge temp te mpta mp tati ta t on ti on. Mostt C Mo Chr hris hr isti tian an cou o p plles les wou ould d not drea dr am of of mov vin ing in n tog oget oget ethe he h er be b fo ore e marr ma rria iage ia ge g e (it is al a most mostt a llau mo augh au ghab gh a le ab le im impo mpo oss ssib ssib ibil bili itty fo or si sing ngle ng le es in n Sin inga g p po ore e an nyyw wayy). ). Butt we h ha ave to a assk sk, k, if itt is c ea cl earl arl ryw wrron ong to mov ove in ove in tog ogetth he er befo be befo fore re mar arrriiiag ag ge e,, eve v n iff p pre re e -m mar aritta all se ex do does es n es not o tak ot ake pl p ac ace e,, and nd is itt oka kay for un fo u ma m rrrie ied C Ch hri riist ssttia an co coup uple up le es to o h lilida ho day tto da oge g th ther e? er Prev Pr e io ev i us u ge en ner e at atio ions nss wo ou uld h hav a e av been be en sho ock c ed d at an n unmar nm mar a ri ried coup co uple sp pe en nd din ing a an n eveni ve eni nin ng tog ng getth he er with wi thou o t a ch hap pe erro on ne, e, let e alone lo one ne g goi oiing g on n hol o iday id day ay abr broa oa oad ad ffo or a we week eken end orr mor o e.. But ut tim mes hav a e ch ha an nge ged. d. We W e are r a allll a bit lles esss up es pti tigh ght ab gh ab bou outt ou th hings in ngs g tthe hese he se e dayys.. Bes esiid ide ides ess, th t er ere iss no su ugg g es essti tion ti on her e eo off sle leep epin ng ar ao ou und nd, d, and a an ass com omm miitt tte ed d Chr hris isti tia tian an ns, s, we a arre okay ok ay wit ith tth he w wh ho olle ‘n ‘no sse ex b be efo fore re ma m arrria iage ge’ th thin ng. g. So if if we’ e’rre e not ot going oiin o ng g to ‘d to do o it’ t, w wh hat at’ss th he e har ar m m??
Let’s be fair about this. Life in Singapore is busy, and time together as a dating couple is precious. It is also hard to get time alone, just to be ‘us’. It is so good to get away for a while and spend some time with that special someone, to walk hand-inhand along a beach in Koh Samui or on the streets of Paris (depending on your budget!) and watch the sun go down together. Once marriage and kids come along, moments like this are going to be hard to come by. It is only for a few days, anyway. We e do no nott wa w nt to wave v a big ‘Tho ‘T hou u sh shal a t no not’ tb ban anne er on o cou oupl p es e holilida ho dayi ying ng ttog oget ethe her. r. F For or one e thi hing ng g, in our u own tthr hree hr ee yea ears rs of da d ting ting and an d th then en ne eng ng gag a em emen nt, we we went ntt on nn no o le less sss tha han n fo f urr wee eeke kend ndss nd away aw ayy tog a getthe her. her r. B But u hin ut nd dssig i ht is a wond der erfu full we fu well ll ffor or w wis issd do om, m, and altth al ho ou ugh g we ne neve verr sllep ve pt to toge ge eth her e be b efo fore re ou re urr wed eddi ding di ng g nig ghtt, it mad ade e us rea e lilize ze how eas asyy it was for o us to putt ou pu o rs rsel sel elve ves an ve nd ou ourr re epu puta puta t tiion ns in n ha arm m’ss w way ayy. Two Tw o pa pass ssag ss ages ag es of Sc Scr cri ript ptur ure ur e hi h gh ghliligh ght gh t e ke th ey is i su ues e at st sta akke e.. The e first s iiss to o do wi with th h tempt em mp pttta atio at on, n tthe h seccon he o d with wi th re th ep put put u attio ion. n.. Bo otth are eq equa ualllly ly im mp po ort r ta an nt in n the e fight ht to do d and nd b be e seen se en n to do d wha wha at is rig gh htt. Th he first Sc Scri ript ptur pt ure p pa asssag a e, e I Co Corrint nthiian ans 1 10 0:1 :13 13, 3, is a fa f mi mililiar arr verse erse er se thatt manyy pe th peop ople l mem emor o iizze ass a great assu su urra anc nce in n the e fight ht aga g in instt sin: No o teem mpt ptat atio ion h ha as sseeiz ized ized ed you ou exceptt wha at is is com ommo on to to man n. A An nd nd God Go od iss fai aith thffu ul;; He wi will illl not ot let e you o be tteempte mptteed b mp beeyo yond nd w wha ha h at yyo ou can cca an beear a. But wh Bu wheen n yo ou u aree tem emp ptteed d, He He wilill al alsso als o prro p ovvid ide a way way o wa ou ut so o tha hatt yo you ca can sstta an nd up und up ndeerr iit. t. t. Bu B ut w wh ha hat att is ea eassiily ly for org go ott tte en n is th the prre p ev vious iou io uss ssen en e n nte tte en ncce: ce: e: ‘So, So, if So if yyou ou th ou hiink nk 29
fo c u s > YOUNG ADULTS you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!’
It is not enough to do what is right. We must be seen to do what is right.
Guys: To put yourself and your girlfriend in the place where temptation may be strong is both foolish and unloving. Many may be shocked at the suggestion that they would ‘do do such a thing, thing’ and are offended a at the idea that they may not be stro ong enough to abstain. But it is no ot a sign of strength that you can co our urt temptation and resist. Ra ath ther er,, itt is a si sign g of fo oollisshn hnes esss – you yo u don’ n’tt kn know ow y you ours rsel elff an a d yo ou do don’ n’tt kn know ow you you o r en nem emy y. You Yo Y u find d the e girrl at attr t ac tr acti tiive ve, o cou of ours rse, e, or yo ou wo woul uld d n t be no b dat atin in ng g.. So ge et r al re a , sw wal a lo ow yo our p iid pr de an a d ad admi miit th m that at yo ou arre no not ab bov o e temp te mp ptat ta ati tion n, and an nd sh s ow th hatt yyou ou u ccar arre en enou o gh ou g forr your fo yo ourr girrlffri rien end en d to o prot pr ottec otec ec t h he er p pu uri r ty ty and n rre epu p ta tati ttiion ion at an anyy co cosst s t. Giirl G rlss: Itt rea eallllyy sh shou ould d be no sur n urpr pris pr pris i e tth ha att spe p nd ndin iin ng ad day on o the he be ea ach in a swiim sw msu s itt o orr bi bikkkiini in nii is g go oin ing to o be b e no otth hiing ng les les ess tth han an tor ortu ture e to a guyy wh gu who a who allrre ead ady fi fin nds yyo nd ou attttrrac acttiive ve. He H e is no not w we ea ak k or ‘sse ex x-m -mad ma ad d’ to to have ha ve a pro rob bllem em wit i h yo you d drres essse ed lliik like ke e thi hiss;; it wo w ul u d be be w we eirrd ei d iiff he he wa ant n ed d to ma marr rrrry yo you ((o or ev even e da atte yo y ou) u) and n did nott fee eel th thiss way y. And And An do o no ott thi hinkk ttha ha h hat at th his iiss ju just ustt a guy prob pr prob ble lem. m.. With m itth th he lil gh ghts tss d dow ow wn lo low w an nd ro oma m nt n icc mus u ic pla l yi y ng ng,, yo y u
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will be tempted too. Do not put him under pressure to impress you with a nice holiday. Help him make the right choices. Perhaps the ‘way out’ that God provides is to avoid going on holiday together in the first place. The second Scripture passage is Ephesians 5:3: But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, orr of anyy kind of impurity, or o off gr gree eed, d, bec ecau ause se tthe hese se are imp mprope perr forr Go fo od’ d’ss ho h lyy peo eop plee. Itt is no n t en enou o gh ou h tto o do wha h t is rig ight ht. We W e mus ustt be e se ee en to do wh w a att iiss righ ri g t. Mos gh o t of of o our ur own wn dat atin ing g an nd enga en gage ga geme ge ment me nt yyea ea ars too ookk pl p ac ace e wh w ilile e at uni n ve v rssiitty in n the e UK. K T The h p he pro robl blem he ere e wass not o tha hatt pe peop ople op l mig le ight h ht susp su spec ectt we wer ec ere e slee sllee eepi ping pi n tog ng oget eth et herr,, he butt ra bu rath ther th err th ha at p at pe eop ople le ass ssumed um med ed we were we re,, un re nle ess ss we ma mad de e it ex expr exp pres pres essl sy sl c ear cl ea ar th hat a we we were re not o . (A And d we w re we en’ n tt!!) IIn n the he lea eadd up dp tto o ou our en e ga gage eme ment n, nt we w e we en nt aw a ayy ffor orr a wee eeke k nd ke nd, bu nd, but in nd doi oing oi n so, ng o, wan anted te ed to o sen end a cl ce ea ar ar messs me ssag ssag ge to fri rien nd dss and n fam amiilly by by b ok bo okin in ng not no n ot ju j stt sep e ar arat ate e ro room oms mss,, butt sepa se parra rate te (bu ut ad adjja acce ent nt) ho hote ote t lss in th the e same sa e cit ity. y. Man any th thou o gh ghtt we we we erre bein be in ng a bi bit exxtr trem me, e, but u at le leas asst no a ast o on ne was wa as le left f in an ft any do doub ub u bt ass to ou ourr in nte tent n io nt ons ns. Th hat at b bei e ng ei n sai aiid, d we a arre st s iilll no not su sure re it re was th t e wi w se s st co ou urs rse o off acttio ion. n Ther he erre e wa as no o one e to ch hec e k up p on us u , no one ne
around when we said goodnight and went back to our respective hotels. It sent the message about our intentions, but it was no guarantee about our actions. Dating couples should not see holidaying together as a perfectly normal or harmless activity in their relationship. They should be wary of the sin, regret and shame that can so easily result, and consider what can be done to avoid such pitfalls. There are things couples can do to have a nice break together and stay above reproach, like holidaying with a group of friends, making sure of course that this does not become a pretext for pairing off for long periods. Having rules in place, such as there always being three or more people together in a room at anyone time during the holiday, is helpful so long as everyone sticks to them. But we remain unconvinced of the wisdom and necessity of holidaying together before marriage. One cultural shift that has perhaps contributed to this trend is that people get married much later, and so start having kids almost straight away. Romance, fun and leisure may be seen as the domain of the dating couple, not the married couple. Is this a realistic view of marriage? After fifteen years of marriage, we couldn’t disagree more. T The article first appeared in IMPACT Oct/Nov 2008 Vol 32 No. 5. Reprinted with permission.
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envision
Transforming You Following up from this Watchnight message, Senior Pastor Dominic Yeo shares four vital truths in fulfilling God’s destiny in your life.
T
he word transformation comes from two separate words, ‘trans’ and ‘formation’. The word ‘trans’ very simply means getting from one point to another. The second word is ‘formation’. There is God’s formation in your life as He transfers His virtues into you. Hence, transformation is really the middle ground between two very important points. For some of us, when the promises of God come into our lives and there is no transformation, the blessings and promises of God can become a curse in our lives, or become corrupted. In other words, fulfillment can destroy you. Transformation is needed so that when fulfillment comes, you will become a blessing. To go from potential to fulfillment, you have to experience the transformation of God in your life. 32
Four ingredients are needed for this Godly transformation
1
Relying on God
Genesis 32:22-24 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.
God orchestrated this time of transformation by stripping Jacob of his “distractions”: his wives, maidservants and sons. Likewise, you have to come to a place of being stripped of all your human resources and from all the distractions around you if you are going to enter into the place of transformation, where you are left alone with God. You have to come to a place where you don’t rely on human understanding. You cannot rely on your own abilities to bring about transformation.
2
Abiding in God John 15:7 If a man abides in Me, I will abide in him, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.
The word “abide” means to “dwell in Him”. It is about dwelling in God’s presence. Scriptures say in Gen 23:24 that Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. Can you imagine the hours that he just ‘remained’ with the man and refused to let the man go? You need to learn to “abide” in the presence of God because God’s presence transforms us. That’s the key: the key is to dwell in God’s presence.
3
Having a tenacious attitude Transformation is a painful process.
Pure gold or pure silver has to go through the heat of intense fire in its refinement process. For clay to be molded, the potter has to spin it on the potter’s wheel, put his thumb into it, shape it and bend it. The clay undergoes a painful and excruciating 33
envision Promises of God
Information
process of molding. As clay in our Potter’s hands, we can jettison our molding process by wanting out. But to be pure gold, having the tenacity to go through the heat of molding is necessary. A blacksmith once shared with a visitor at a goldmaking factory: “I never take my eyes off the precious metal.” Why not? Because he risks losing the moment the metal reaches purity. How then would the blacksmith know that the metal has become pure? When he can see his face reflected in it. In the same way, as you go through the transformation, God never takes His eyes off you. God purifies you and transforms you so that you become like Him. You also need to understand that transformation is a process. It takes time. As you read this for the first time, you would be receiving information; to know but not understand. But God can take this information and turn it into illumination. As soon as God illuminates the information, then revelation comes forth. Revelation brings about a sense of conviction. But it does not end there. Revelation means you come to a point saying, “I understand! I got it now!” But Revelation has to bring forth a seed of conviction. And the seed
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Fulfillment of God
Transformation Illumination
Revelation
of conviction cannot take place until we go through reformation, which is synonymous with transformation. Then you can arrive at manifestation. Reformation is a painful process. Centuries ago, the Church and the State were separate entities, but in AD313, the king made a decree that State and Religion would become one; this saw the birth of the Roman Catholic Church. But sometime in the early 16th century, there was a monk named Martin Luther. One day, as he was reading the Bible for information, there was an illumination of the Holy Spirit upon his life. This illumination brought forth a revelation that we can all read the Holy Scriptures and that God speaks to all man. That Revelation brought about a seed of conviction in his life, there was an inner reformation in his life which led to a transformation in him. Martin Luther then nailed the theses on the doors of the Church, saying that all men could read the Scriptures because they were justified by faith. And that brought forth the Protestant movement. You and I are part of the Protestant movement. But Martin Luther paid a price. He was excommunicated by the Church. He was considered a heretic; he was dismissed by people; he was isolated from friends and marginalized by all.
Reformation
Manifestation
You need to lay yourself on the altar of the Holy Spirit, under the crucible of the burning furnace of the Holy Spirit to bring forth the work of God in your life so that you become like Him. You will then manifest the power of Him who calls us.
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Confessing your failures
In verse 27, the Man asked for his name, to which Jacob replied, “I am Jacob.” But this was more than an answer to a question; Jacob’s reply was a confession of his failure because “Jacob” means “to deceive”, “to connive”, “to supplant”. Then the man of God said to Jacob, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel.” The confession of our failures moves the hand of God to redefine us. Open your hearts today and say, “Jesus, come and do a work of transformation so that out of my life, would come forth the manifestation of the power of God and the successes of God.” T
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envision
July kicks off sporting season in Trinity. Launched in July, this youth discipleship track centers on defining the young person to become a man or woman of God. Look at the John Flanagans of Liverpool, Jack Wilsheres of Arsenal and Federico Machedas of Man United. They tore through the soccer fields with their raw energy and tackled their opponents with unbridled boldness. These are the under-19s from the respective soccer Youth Academies. For what they lack in experience, they make up in limitless potential. Our IGNYTErs – Trinity’s youths aged between 13 to19 – have that same potential. The harness ground for that potential is DefinYtion, Trinity’s very own version of the soccer’s Youth Academy. In reviewing the changing global sociological landscape amongst youths and volunteerism, Senior Pastor Dominic called for a recalibration in IGNYTE. This is to position our youth ministry to be on the cutting edge of touching young lives. In 2010, he envisioned a revamp of the IGNYTE discipleship track. Hence the introduction of DefinYtion, an upgraded version of the Youth Bible Class (YBC) of the 80s. “DefinYtion will define our youths to be men and women of God,” says Senior Pastor Dominic. 36
Pastor Wilson Teo, our Deputy Senior Pastor was himself a product of YBC. “When I first came to Trinity as a youth, Samuel Ko was my very first YBC teacher. He was very committed and helped me know the Bible and the Holy Spirit.” In DefinYtion, adult teachers with their wealth of experience in life can add to the lives of our youths. Coincidentally, some former-YBC teachers are returning to teach at DefinYtion. It is their very heart for youths and passion to teach that have compelled them to return. DefinYtion will also have them breaking into small groups, facilitated by youth leaders or youth spiritual parents. This is to reinforce the learning experience and for youths to bond, since the building of relationships is paramount to youths. “DefinYtion? Interesting! I look forward to new friendships being built in our small group,” IGNYTEr Ben Loke enthuses. His sentiments echo that of his peers in IGNYTE.
Parents, too, support the launch. “I attended YBC in my youth. DefinYtion is definitely good for my children!” Roland affirms. Phillip and Siong Yu, parents of four children, two of whom are youths, say “My teens are full of energy and are growing as young persons. They will need the Christian fellowship and grounding of God’s Word that DefinYtion provides.” Margaret, a mother of two IGNYTErs, agrees: “DefinYtion will lay a good foundation; youths can come together and have fun learning together.” But foundations are just foundations; the onus of building the child up in the ways of God still lies with parents. Pastor Dominic himself believes that Discipleship begins at home: “The main responsibility of discipleship belongs to parents. The Church will come alongside to equip parents to disciple their youths.” After each week, a takeaway of DefinYtion will be available on the website, so that parents can go online to get tips that encourage family interaction and growth in God. DefinYtion, where lives are defined. Are you a part yet?
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Level 4, Classroom 3
Level 4, Classrooms 11 & 12
Level 4, Classroom 4
Level 3, Level 3, Praise Junction Praise Junction Level 1, Chapel
Level 3, Blue 1-4
WHAT can you NOT expect? • Stuffy, mundane lessons • Exams and tests • Project Work WHAT can you look forward to? • Encounter God • Engage in real-life issues • Experience new friendships
Excited to learn more about God! Joshua Tay It’s a great way for everyone to learn more about the Bible, more so if we are first-generation Christians. Chelsea Chew
Pastor Melvin Lim District Pastor, IGNYTE
WHEN is it launched? 9/10 July 2011
Quarter 3/2011 Topics
Quarter 4/2011 Topics
Zone 1
• Women of Destiny • Peer Pressure • Final Destinations
• Making the Grade • Reach Out: Equipping Your Students for Personal Evangelism • Costly Conversations (1 Samuel)
Zone 2
• World Religions • Kings and Prophets • Relationship Tips
• Believe It or Not • Paradoxes of God • Facts on Faith
Zone 3
• Maturing in Christ (Philippians) • Wholeness in Christ (Colossians) • Friends of Jesus
• Justice and Mercy (Minor Prophets) • Priorities and Values
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p u l s e > IGNY TE
A few days after I signed up for camp, I was asked to be a group leader. “My first camp and I have to lead a group? Are they serious?”, I thought, but God allowed me to lead reasonably well and also spoke to me during the camp. Firstly, He spoke about Reliance. Secondly, He spoke about leadership. God reminded me of my name. My name, Boaz, means “by the strength of my Father”. If I relied on Him, “by the strength of my Father” I would be able to accomplish His plans. I began to recall that it was always by His grace that I would end up in leadership roles in primary 38
school, secondary school, and now in Poly. God then showed me that in these leadership positions, I would be able to reach out to people who have yet to know Him, to use these positions to influence and show them how I would live while relying on God. Through this encounter with God, I finally saw His hand upon my life and so I will rely on Him and trust that in whatever position He puts me, His purpose will be fulfilled! Boaz Koh, 17 Singapore Polytechnic, Diploma in Audio and Music Technology
76 IGNYTErs came back from camp filled with an understanding of their identity in Christ, compelled by a vision for the lost and armed with a strategy to reach them. The life-transforming camp for Polytechnic students was held from April 4 to 6 at the BBGB Campsite.
Initially, I did not want to go for Blueprint. Three days before camp started, I unwillingly paid up and decided to go for it. After Blueprint, I can safely say that I do not regret going for the camp. God has touched me and spoken to me through that camp about my family situation and about my school and I really enjoyed the fellowship time that I had. For the first time, God opened my eyes to see my campus differently. I realized that I was not just a student there and that my fellow classmates needed God in their lives. I really thank God for the new people that he has brought into my life through this camp and for changing me through this camp! Keith Yong, 18 Republic Polytechnic, Diploma in New Media
Before I went for the recent Blueprint camp, I was someone with a lot of fear. I was afraid of being a “real Christian” in front of my friends. Whenever they asked me to go out on weekends, I would say I was busy or hesitate to say that I would be going to church. In church, I was also afraid of the responsibility of rising up in leadership. So, whenever my IGNYTE leaders spoke to me about leadership or in rising up, I would pretend to ignore the subject. Blueprint camp was different, different in a way that I had time relax e to rel laxx and d bond bond d with my friends. I was expecting the camp to be very tight in schedule, with no time for myself or to be around my friends. But I am glad that I went for this camp because it changed my perspective of being a real Christian and leaders. God came and spoke to me during the camp and gave me a heart of teaching and a heart which has no fear. Right after the camp was over, I felt like I was a new person, someone who isn’t fearful as before anymore but someone that is God-fearing. AMEN! Damien Tang, 19 LASALLE College of the Arts, Diploma in Music Performance
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p u l s e > YOUNG ADULTS
T
he event kicked off with a Young Adults’ (YA) District Gathering on a Friday evening. Pastor Wilson Teo began with a compelling message, challenging us to examine the reality of our Christian faith measured against the extent of our obedience to God. He urged over 250 YAs to make God, not Mammon, the treasure of their hearts and to involve God in every decision. Many responded to the call to return to Him as their first love.
W
What a Weekend Money, greed, power, sex – the ingredients of an Oscarwinning thriller? Not quite! Nicole Yeong discovers that these were the subjects of a series of animated discussions at Trinity’s Young Adults’ Weekend, held between 18 and 19 February 2011 at Trinity@Paya Lebar.
!
Th
their respective lives!
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dd
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heartbeat
Your life, 1
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here are 6.9 billion people in 195 different countries across the globe. Among these people groups, 116 languages in various dialects and tongues are spoken. With such diversity in culture and beliefs, it’s small wonder why Pastor Ron Maddux, who spent most of his life sharing the Gospel in China and Thailand, admitted that the life of a missionary is tough. That said, the American pastor, who was in town during Trinity Christian Centre’s Missions Convention in March, did not waver and for that, he thanked God for seeing him through. After all, to him, nothing beats the joy in seeing people come to know Christ. It is with this in mind that he declared: “The greatest gift you can give to missions is not money, but you!”
Your gift Giving to missions isn’t just about money or material provisions. The greatest gift one can offer up is, in fact, ourselves, as Gabriel Chu discovered during March’s Missions Convention.
And many Trinitarians, it seems, have heeded the call to serve God in the missions field. The foreign delegates from 19 countries who attended the week-long cell church conference certainly thought so, as they testified to how Trinitarians have made a difference in their respective countries. Pastor Kaloyan from Bulgaria, for one, shared how Trinity’s Cell Church Model has helped his church to create a strong harvest force. Pastor Linda from Glad Tidings Assemblies of God, Petaling Jaya also endorsed the model and proclaimed the setting up of their 100th home cell after plateauing in the range of the 90s for a long time. Additionally, beyond going out in Mission Impact Teams (MITs), we made faith promises amounting to S$8,295,733.27. Trinitarians are indeed blessed to be a blessing!
1 Pastor orr DDom ominic with Pastor Koji and family on Missions Night om 2 Pasttor or KKal aloyan testifying of the work of God in his church 3 A firs rsth tha d experience in humanitarian missions than
With these seeds sown by Trinitarians into churches worldwide, our foreign counterparts are, in turn, sowing God’s love back into their communities today. 43
heartbeat
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Celebratory spirit No Missions Convention is complete without a celebration, and this year, Trinity created a “cultural village” to commemorate our church’s global outlook. With pastors, our overseas visitors and Trinitarians donned in their national garb and cultural performances put up to great acclaim, the festivities were in full flow. Trinitarian George Elam, for one, enjoyed the communal atmosphere and the Filipino bamboo dance, in particular. Those who manned the food booths, which boasted a diverse mix such as Indonesian kuehs weren’t left out of the fun, either. Loy, a Filipino congregation member who was manning the Philippines booth, not only enjoyed his stint but shared that despite the diversity of cultures present, we all serve one true God. At the end, Rev. David Grant, one 44
of our guest speakers for Missions Convention, summed up the week’s activities when he said: “Your hands are the hands of God. Use them to bless and heal, not bruise and harm.” The seeds that we sow – our time, riches and talents – God will further grow it for His purposes. So let’s allow our compassion for His people shine through and use it to impact the world where we are. To find out more or sign up for our MITs, visit www.trinity.net. You can also give to missions; pick up a Faith Promise card or a Missions Booklet (Faces of Gratitude) from the Level 2 Information Counter!
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4, 7 & 8 Mouth-watering delicacies from Asia 5 Delighting the crowds with a cultural dance 6 Our children with their Missions Faith Promise cards 9 Trinity’s missions endeavours aree su ar supp ppor o tedd by our Miss Mi ssio ions ns FFai aith thh Promise
From March 23 to 28, more than 420 delegates from 20 countries attended our Cell Church Conference (CCC). The conference stems from Trinity’s’ desire to train and develop others, inherent in our DNA of being a leadership church. Two participants share of the transforming work of God in their churches, through the CCC.
Cell Church Conference Yen Chin Hsiu
Gordon Goh
Senior Pastor’s wife
Cell Overseer
Taoyuan Holiness Church, Taiwan
Bethesda Bedok Tampines Church
efore encountering Trinity’s cell church model, we tried numerous ways to build our church and equip our members, learning from other churches’ model, but we repeatedly failed. Our members were tired and our pastors, defeated.
n the early day of the church, we met as a care group. The focus was on Bible study; we were somewhat inward-looking. The concept of cell was foreign to us. Later on, we also tried another church growth model, but to little success.
We hoped for visitors to our church but when there were, there was no one to pastor them. Also, with 20% of the church serving the other 80%, ultimately many chose not to serve.
It was during 2001 that we decided to adopt the TCC Cell Church Model. Rev. Dominic and team came to our church to teach and mentor us. With your support, the buy-in this time was stronger.
In the second half of 2006, our Senior Pastor heard about Trinity’s Cell Church Model and its training materials. He was deeply moved and knew in his heart that it was exactly what the church needed. In 2007, we attended the ‘7 Steps’ Conference in Singapore.
We started with 20 Church in-action Groups (CGs) but now have 103 CGs. Our youths from Secondary 1 to our seniors in their 60s and 70s have adopted the TCC Cell Church Model. Recently, we were able to mobilize the cells to do community transformation around the HDB flats within one kilometer from the church.
Thus far, the most obvious change in the church is the large increase in newcomers. People have been touched by God even as they pass by our church building. Some were led to our church through our website, while some were prompted by the Holy Spirit to come. It was all very miraculous, as if when we found the right way to equip ourselves, God kept bringing people and those with needs to the church.
The TCC cell model helped us to gear up to be an intentional disciple-making church. Our church has grown from 400+, to over 1,300 people for the English service, 300+ for the Mandarin service and more than 200 members in the Hokkien servic vice vi ce e. W We e als lso no ow have an Indonesian and Fil Filip ilip ipin ip ino mini mini mi nist strryy.
The last breakthrough is in evangelism. The nurturing and discipleship in carecells resulted in people being bold in inviting their friends to church and testifying to their loved ones about Jesus. 45
heartbeat
Missions at a Glance e GO 2 15
Countries (Indonesia and India) Trinitarians Evangelistic MITs
1
Humanitarian MITs
17
Decisions
12
Miraculous healings
GO
Training and Consultation Trips
Trips
4 3 (Japan, Malaysia and Taiwan)
GIVE 638
14
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An overview of the span of Trinity’s Missions from January to March 2011.
Missions Impact Teams (MITs) rips Evangelistic and Humanitarian Trips
1
Countries
nate Passirtobeat Hea
Destitute children in 3 children’s homes (in India and Thailand) and 2 slum schools (in Cambodia and India) sponsored Ministries given love offerings
Children are close to the Father’s heart, more so children who are destitute. Last quarter, we continued to be a blessing to them through sponsoring a new slum school in Haryana, India. The needs of these children, 226 in total are now totally provided for. Impossible to build a house in a few days? Not for Team Trinity! In January, a Missions Impact Team collaborated with the community in Padang, Indonesia in the building of three wooden houses. The majority of the members involved in this project were not skilled in the area of construction, but God enabled them to complete the houses within three days. Over the last two years, a total of seven houses have been built by our Mission Impact Teams. The local community expressed their joy and gratefulness to these Trinitarians: “Thank you for giving us a home” many said. It has always been in Trinity’s DNA to train and develop others. As part of Trinity’s ongoing training and consultation efforts to churches around the world who have embraced our cell church model, we hosted more than 427 delegates from 20 nations in the Cell Church Conference. Our guests were greatly blessed by the warm hospitality, the teaching of the Word and the vibrant atmosphere they experienced.
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pulse
The D’Artistes team encapsulated their motto “Because Every Life is a Celebration” through their vibrant dance concert on 27 February 2011, where heart and spirit met skill and focus. By Sabrina Ng
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Defying
One of the theme songs of the concert went “I hope you never lose your sense of wonder / May you never take one single breath for granted / Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance / And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance / I hope you dance.” (Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance) And dance they did. Twirling around on tip-toe, gracefully leaping across the stage to contemporary tunes, gyrating to heart-pumping hip hop…
All of which got me tapping and grooving to the music. Metamorphosis II…Defying Gravity! was a dance recital performed by the D’Artistes team, comprising a group of 25 children and teenagers with Down Syndrome, Autism and Intellectual Disability, and their family. Directed by choreographer Gerard Sebastian Raj and supported by guest artistes Hi-Energy Dancers, the concert was performed to a full audience at the chapel of Trinity@Paya Lebar on 27 Feb 2011. The church was indeed blessed to be a blessing in giving the children a place and opportunity to showcase their talent.
Gravity As aptly put by Senior Pastor Dominic, the concert was a “testament to the power of Relentless Belief”, a core value of Trinity Christian Centre. It was through D’Artistes’ belief in the limitless potential of each child that the children could present a stellar performance that defied the circumstances of their birth. The children performed confidently in dazzling costumes and with impressive moves. But what captivated the audience was the message the children brought with them. One child declared that like us, children of God, he shared the “same purpose, but a different start”, while another beckoned the
audience to “see the shape of my soul” and to “give me time, not help”. Although often perceived as needy and on the receiving end of an exchange, these special children’s spirit of overcoming and embracing life was their gift to us. Through music and dance as the language of their souls, the children brought the audience to an understanding that because God empowers us, we can defy gravity and should “never settle for the path of least resistance” (Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance). By the end of the concert, the soul-inspired audience rose to their feet with a standing ovation for the D’Artistes team.
pulse
There is a keen sense ense of expectation and destiny as the Assemblies of God (AG) movement enters a new season.
Fresh fire, new anointing, burning zeal. These characterize the new season that God has been bringing the AG into. With Rev. Dominic re-elected to helm the AG and a new Executive Committee at the hub of the movement, the general body can expect greater things to come. “I’m humbled and awed at the same time, knowing that it is God’s divine appointment,” Rev. Dominic candidly shares; “It definitely comes with greater responsibilities, but I am also reminded we are blessed to be a blessing to the nation.” One year ago, as he sought the heart and mind of God for the movement, he was led to focus on these three expressions: a Spirit of Togetherness, Transformation and Training.
SPIRIT OF TOGETHERNESS There are 47 AG churches in Singapore. Together, they serve approximately 22,000 adherents. In his one year as General Superintendant, Rev. Dominic has galvanized the AG body toward a common vision and unity. 52
When churches were faced with challenges in land usage for their church services, the Executive Committee rose to the fore to meet with relevant government authorities to come up with a solution. Rev. Dominic also has a heart to strengthen the local churches. Every other weekend, he would either preach or visit an AG church to encourage them. “I truly appreciate his personal concern and interest in the ministers and churches. He has taken much time to meet with and visit them,” Assistant General Superintendant Pastor Robert Lum shares. The advocacy of the five-fold ministry was another nod in the direction of togetherness. “This brings evangelists, itinerant ministers, prophets and teachers to feel a sense of belonging in the AG family,” Pastor Robert Lum shares. Pastor James Singh, an evangelist, acknowledges as well that “different ones have different giftings. As the fivefold ministry serves in its giftings, strength and maturity are brought to the Body of Christ.”
SPIRIT OF TRAINING Recognizing the need for the churches to be in tandem with our changing society, Rev. Dominic availed media training course and governance workshop to AG ministers and churches. Pastor Sophia Tan, Senior Pastor of Living Spring Fellowship looks forward to more of such relevant training. Another pressing issue on the list was that of corporate governance. Under Pastor Dominic’s leadership, governance was set in motion and is continuously being benchmarked against best practice guidelines. Pastor Simon Ang, Senior Pastor of Moriah Assembly affirms this: “His organizational and management acumen have made an impact.”
SPIRIT OF TRANSFORMATION These sense of togetherness and training trickled down to the recent AG Fresh Fire Conference, where churches were really blessed by the key topics on Spirit-empowered leadership, church, life and worship. Many were infused with fresh faith and passion for God.
Pastor Mark Poh, Senior Pastor of Emmanuel Assembly of God says, “It is the best AG conference we have ever attended! We had anointed speakers and the messages were very timely; the churches were built up in faith. One of my church members was so impacted he immediately went back and shared with his brother-in-law, who got saved!” Another attendee, a Trinitarian shares, “I was renewed and stirred up in my passion for God. I came away with a new hunger for His Word and a better understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit.”
BLAZING AHEAD The flames are still but flickers, because God is fuelling a greater move of the Spirit. May what was birthed by the Spirit in 1914 at Hot Springs Arkansas, burn on to ignite fires of revival in our churches. Trinitarians, together with all the AG churches, let’s continue to arise in faith and run with the Spirit’s fire to touch our family, community and the nation for Christ. 53
u p c l o s e > TRINITARIAN HERO Chong Leong Hin, Air Force engineer
the first After joining as a choir member of in 1982, Singing Christmas Tree production almost Leong Hin has been involved with r since. eve on every major church producti tion, ven His most recent was Missions Con The se. where he was seen building a hou a taste ans itari Trin give live demo meant to ’s Hin ng Leo of humanitarian missions. his in ized servant attitude is best summar give own words, “If you want a bus, I will g fan Xiu n you a bus.” By Che
Exactly what motivates you to serve?
Do you have a personal motto for serv
How do you overcome the setbacks
ing?
you face at each production?
Do you see yourself building a legacy
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in what you’re doing?
Encounter
God
Experience Transformation
Hear from our Guest Speakers!
Sat & Sun
Jul 23 & 24 Rev. Dr Russ Turney Regional director, Assemblies of God World Missions, Asia Pacific
Rev. Yee Tham Wan President of Asia Pacific Theological Seminary
Sat,
Rev. John Bevere International speaker and author of bestselling books such as A Heart Ablaze, Drawing Near and Driven by Eternity
Chinese Service
Rev. Ngoh Moon on Tee Senior Pastor of Baguio o International Chinese Church
Thu & Fri Aug 2 25 5 & 26
Revival Rally
Rev. Joe Jackson Evangelist and Conference Speaker, former professional American football player
www.trinity.net
Aug 6