August 2013 riverjournal web

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A News MAGAZINE Worth Wading Through

Local News • Environment • Wildlife • Opinion • People • Entertainment • Humor • Politics

August 2013| FREE | www.RiverJournal.com

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This week aT The FesTival Thursday, August 8th

John Butler trio

with

eclectic ApproAch

Friday, August 9th

Steve Miller BAnd with MAtt AnderSon

Super Saturday August 10th

the Avett BrotherS with

vintAge trouBle

and

MArShAll McleAn

Sunday, August 11th

Grand Finale

“Festival Fan Fare”

SpokAne SyMphony orcheStrA Taste of the Stars Wine Tasting

FesTival aTsandpoinT The

www.festivalatsandpoint.com

888.265.4554

HENRY V

All Seasons Garden & Floral

31831 Hwy 200 Sandpoint Open Daily Monday-Saturday 9 to 6 Sunday 10 to 4 208.265.2944

Saturday, August 17

Don’t pay $5 lb for Honeycrisp apples! Our fruits harvest fast! Blueberries, cherries, strawberries, grapes, peaches, pears, plums, apples, raspberries, apricots, huckeberries, kiwis & more!

THANK YOU for Voting All Seasons Best Nursery and Florist in Bonner County!

Buy 1 plant get 1 HALF OFF! Just bring in this ad before Aug. 31, 2013.

First plant at regular price, second plant at equal or lesser value. Cannot be combined with any other offer or discounts.

Ad must be presented and turned over at time of purchase.

34th Annual Huckleberry Festival Trout Creek MT August 9-11, 2013 5 pm Friday - 4pm Sunday

Friday:

Idaho Puppet Theater Dave Oliver Miss Huckleberry Pageant Karaoke in the Park

Saturday:

Pancake Breakfast 5K Run for Fun Huckleberry Parade Homesteaders Pentathlon Dog Agility Competition Swing Street Big Band Albeni Falls Pipe & Drum Jam & Jelly Contest Festival Auction Pie-eating Contest Dance to the Music of the Devon Wade Band

Sunday:

Pancake Breakfast Worship Service Dog Agility Demo More Pentathlon Bridges Home Horseshoes “Snow White” by Libby Pitiful Players Dessert Contest Helicopter Rides & Face Painting

www.huckleberryfestival.com Admission Free!

For more information, call 406-827-5077

6 pm MST Heron Ball Field Heron, Montana

THE RIVER JOURNAL A News Magazine Worth Wading Through ~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811 www.RiverJournal. com•208.255.6957

STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility Trish Gannon-trish@riverjournal.com

Ministry of Truth and Propaganda Jody Forest-joe@riverjournal.com

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash.

509.534.3625

18

5

12

4. HUNTING THE PADDLER Local theater takes on our most infamous resident, with a campy twist.

SURREALIST RESEARCH BUREAU

12. IDAHO AND THE ARCTIC CAUCUS Via PNWER, Idaho seeks to play a role in the opening of an Arctic passage.

A SEAT IN THE HOUSE

6. MUSIC UNDER THE STARS It’s not just at the Festival anymore.

13. HUCKLEBERRIES Sandy does the unthinkable, and shares the location of his huckleberry patch. But good luck getting there.

THE SCENIC ROUTE

7. NO LINE CAMPING City to crack down on the overnight lines for Festival concerts.

7. HENRY V Shakespeare’s Henry V comes to the Heron Ballfield with Shakespeare in the Parks 8. HOW DO YOU REPRESENT HUNTING? What others think of hunting often depends on what it is you do.

THE GAME TRAIL 9. E-BIRDING The Internet offers some surprising benefits to the birder, both new and old.

A BIRD IN HAND

14. DOWNTOWN CALENDAR Check out what’s going on in downtown Sandpoint this month.

15. THE ANTHOLOGY EDITION A double dose of spooky from the VALLEY OF SHADOWS 16. MEMORIES PLANTED DEEP Your lawn and garden may create lasting memories. GET GROWING 17. SEQUESTER JEOPARDIZES MILITARY Gil argues that Congressional actions in stopping the budget prevent military readiness. VETERANS NEWS

Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2013. Reproduction of any 10. FAITH NOT FOR THE WEAK 18. R.I.P. ROY “BOOTS” REYNOLDS material, including original artwork and Kathy is reminded that walking her Becky Reynolds writes a loving tribute advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal faith is not a job for the fainthearted. to the Mouth of the River, who died is published the first week of each month KATHY’S FAITH WALK last month. Good-bye, sweet Boots. and is distributed in over 16 communities 18. OBITUARIES in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, 11. A RENDEZVOUS WITH ENERGY Ernie stays up past his bedtime and Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho.

20. FOOLS GOLD is re-engergized by the courage of The River Journal is printed on 40 The gleam of gold lures a young man youth. THE HAWK’S NEST percent recycled paper with soyto the fishing hole. SCOTT CLAWSON based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.

Cover Photo: Members of the cast of The Pend Oreille Paddler barely manage to keep the boat afloat... and fail to see the mythical beast. Photo by Trish Gannon

DiLuna’s presents

JOHN CRAIGIE 220 Cedar St. Sandpoint 208.263.0846

Friday, Sept. 13

Doors 5:30/Concert 7:30

FROM THE FILES OF THE RIVER JOURNAL’S

Surrealist Research Bureau

Hunting the Paddler Local Legend Meets History & Comedy

Bonner County native playwright Ben Olson may have hit comedic gold in his latest play, “The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler,” which premiers at Sandpoint’s Panida Theater stage on August 16 and 17 (and again the next weekend, the 23rd and 24th).

The characters in this original play, directed by Andrew Sorg, range from an over-the-top, bravura piratical sea captain, searching Ahab-like for a shadowy sea creature, and whose father was an early victim of the same, (played by the Sandpoint Chamber of Commerce’s own Kate McAlister and with—you guessed it!—a salty, Irish accent) to a shady, small-town, woman mayor (Dorothy Prophet) eager to cash in on crypto-tourists, plus a cryptozoologist (monster

hunter) (Russel Crowe look alike Tom NoI-Don’t-Stutter-in-Real-Life Sanderson) and a mysterious manin-black assassin (Dan Simons) who harbors secrets of his own. Some of the other funniest roles include the Whoracle (the enchanting Sarah Caruso), an easyvirtue woman of the night servicing the Farragut sailors, who quips that Coeur d’Alene is Indian for “kind of pretty but mostly ugly.”

Other cast includes an out-of-town land raper (Chris Herron), the local newspaperman (also played by Chris Herron), the dim-witted deckhand Flip (played by Michael Richardson), the brother-and-sister Deadheaders (Jeremiah Campbell and Madeline Elliott), a deranged priest (Ken Wood) and Captain Ahab him (her)self (Gloria Brown). And, of course, the Paddler.

Ben’s obviously done his homework in the world of lost and unknown creatures, giving the audience a crash course in not only Paddler Lore but brief asides into the Coelacanth (a fish once thought extinct) and the eerie plethora of animals found in Vietnam’s so-called Lost World. His throw-away mention of the Lazarus Toxons had me scrambling for my crypto-dictionary, and for the record, its animals which, once thought dead, like Lazarus, live on. Ben, also a member of local rock

by Jody Forest

band Harold’s IGA (named for the beloved, if extinct, Sandpoint grocery store) also provided three rollicking songs for the production.

Ben’s inspiration, other than Christopher Guest’s mockumentaries, leans toward what he calls mock-u-quests and notes that “to be a local here, in this locale, is to be aware of the marvelous all around us.”

Now, coincidentally, Lawrence Fury, in last month’s issue of TRJ, gave our readers a brief history of the Lore of the Paddler, noting how sightings of the “beast” increased at a time when the U.S. Navy began secretly testing mini-subs and stealth subs in the lake (while earnestly denying it publicly). North Idaho College’s Cryptozoology Club, led by Prof. James R. McLeod in the early 70s, did an exhaustive Paddler study (Mysterious Lake Pend Oreille and its Monster, c.1987) and found the Paddler legend was most likely misidentifications of a few remnant giant (6-7 ft) sturgeons. (You can find a copy of the report in the rare books collection of the Sandpoint Library).

You might recognize Ben Olson’s name from his stint as a writer with the beloved, but now-departed, Sandpoint Reader; he echoes the lament of most local writers when he says his attraction to playwriting came about out of a desire

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page

to actually make money from his writing endeavors. In fact, the description of Chris Herron’s newspaperman character might carry just a hint of personal perspective: he is, “a drunken gentlemen who has covered the local beat all of his adult life.

He is searching for a story that will vindicate his life wasted by wallowing in small town journalism.” But maybe I’m just projecting.

The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler is the third play written by this Sandpoint native and Sandpoint High School graduate; previous works include Death of a Small Town in the West, and the audienceacclaimed Sperm! The Musical.

All three of Olson’s plays have been directed by Andrew Sorg, beloved by thousands for his hilariously funny skits and songs for the Angels Over Sandpoint-produced Follies, and a 2012 candidate (albeit a losing candidate) for the Idaho Representative 1A seat currently held by Eric Anderson. Sorg, who seems completely at home in the role of director, nonetheless feels the pull of the stage and says it’s possible he might place himself into some kind of cameo role in the Paddler production.

The play will debut at the Panida Theater with performances on August 16 and 17, with additional shows on August 23 and 24. The doors will open at 7 pm and the show begins at 7:30 pm. Door prizes will be given away at intermission.

Tickets will be on sale at the following Sandpoint businesses: Eichardt’s, Eve’s Leaves, and Monarch Mountain Coffee. Advance ticket sales are $10 each, or $12 at the box office on show dates. You can catch a funny trailer for the play on YouTube; simply search “The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler Trailer.”

I highly recommend this play; I caught a free rehearsal and plan on shelling out my own hard-earned cash to see it again! You can’t get much higher praise! ‘til next time, keep spreading the word: Soylent Green is People! All Homage to Xena!

Photos (facing page, top) Paddler, Jeremiah Campbell and Madeline Elliott. (facing page bottom left) Michael Richardson and the Dread Pirate Kate McAlister. (facing page, top right) Ben Olson, Andrew Sorg.

(Top) Chris Herron, Dorothy Prophet. (At right) Gloria Brown, Tom Sanderson

Thursday, August 8

JOHN BUTLER TRIO All tickets $44.95

C

atch this Australian adult alternative rock sensation! One of the hottest musical exports from down under, guitarist John Butler started out as a busker in Fremantle, Western Australian and eventually formed the popular trio which now includes Nicky Bomba on drums and percussion, and Byron Luiters on bass. It’s hard to avoid hits like “Better Than,” “Used to Get High,” “Funky Tonight,” “Ocean,” and “Good Excuse,” playing on Triple A radio stations across the country. Multi-platinum, award winning artists in their native Australia, American music fans are starting to notice what all the fuss is about. Expect warm, rootsy beach jam music with touches of blues, reggae and rap all peacefully coexisting.

Fans say that watching opener Eclectic Approach you get the same feeling as when you walk into a really great party; people are groovin’ and letting the good times roll. “We want people to have a great time and walk away feeling better about life.” It’s a great philosophy for a band to have, and has proven effective as their name spreads like wildfire across the Northwest and beyond.

Rum Punch specials in colorful glasses will be featured in The Festival Bar. Gates Open at 6:00PM, Concert Starts at 7:30PM.

FesTival aTsandpoinT The

www.festivalAtSandpoint.com

208.265.4554

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page

Music Under the Stars - It’s not just the Festival Anymore When the days grow long and the sun hot in our always-too-short North Idaho summers, outdoor music afficianados begin to plan for August, and the twoweeks of incredible, eclectic music under the stars provided by the Festival at Sandpoint. As the years have gone by, however (the Festival is now in its 31st season), the crowds at this popular event have grown, and the price for tickets has grown as well, leaving many area residents longing for the ‘good old days,’ when music could be had in a more intimate setting, and at a more budget-friendly price. Those people are discovering a second venue for enjoying music outdoors on a hot summer night, and not just in August; they’re flocking to Ponderay for the Ponderay Garden Center’s Concerts for a Cause.

Every Saturday in July and August, this “fully functioning garden center” just north of Big R on Highway 95 plays host to a wide variety of incredible, regional musicians and the cost to attendees is minimal: a donation to a worthy cause.

Just this year they’ve headlined Nu Jack City and Nina Storey, and Cruise Control and Thom Shepherd are still to come.

And along the way they are providing additional dollars to such local groups as Kinderhaven, the Panida Theater, the Ponderay Park Dept, Boy Scouts, Friends of the Pend d’Oreille Trail, the Long Bridge Swim, Jacey’s Race, the local charter school and Vietnam Veterans of America.

“We’re really nice people,” laughed Kevin Monsoor, the General Manager for Ponderay Garden Center, when asked why the business decided to offer a free concert series each summer. “Seriously,” he added, “we have such a gorgeous venue here, just have a mile from the end of the earth. It’s beautifully staged, and we offer everything one might want for their home. So if we get people here (to

see what we offer), I’m confident we can keep them here.” And that’s partly how the concerts came about. “Also,” Kevin added, “everything we do here is based on what our customers tell us they want.”

He added that the concerts rely heavily on sponsorship from Horizon Credit Union, which helps to fund some of the costs, from paying the band, to paying the electric bill. “They wanted to do something effective for the community,” Kevin explained, and with the help of Steve Wilder at Horizon, and sound man Eddie Fontaine, a garden center employee, a business plan was developed to fund the Concerts for a Cause. That plan has managed to put around $20,000 each year into various worthwhile local community groups.

“I didn’t know what a concert venue was when we started,” said Kevin, but he’s since learned. Attendees appreciate the beautifully landscaped venue, which can seat 500 to 600 people, and overlooks a pond. The center operates a small bar (look for offerings of local beers and wine), and music is just one of their areas of interest. The center is also available as a wedding or other private event site, and Kevin would even like to see, in the future, plays performed on the Center’s stage.

“The concept of an event center is still somewhat new to me,” Kevin offered, “so when we did our chocolate night we were overrun. We had around 1,200 people show up and it shut down the highway.”

That chocolate night, by the way, where visitors to the center can tour the various buildings and partake in free chocolate in every one (“It’s all-you-can-eat chocolate.”) started as a “Hello, World, we’re back party,” Kevin said, to celebrate the end of winter and the beginning of planting season. It’s since been joined by an antique show, a garden artistry art show, and the center is looking to offer a

The Scotchman Peaks Keep ‘em wild.

For our Families, For tomorrow. www.ScotchmanPeaks.org

Friends of Scotchman Peaks Wilderness

ladies’ night, maybe next year.

Ponderay Garden center is located on approximately 9 acres of what used to be the Watts family farm. It incorporates several of the existing farm buildings as “showcases” for various garden products, including the pottery shed, the water shed (all water features), and the solar shed (solar yard art), along with many others. The original barn is the main retail space, and plants for purchase are often grouped by their particular type.

“For example,” said Kevin, “one group might include plants that do well in partial shade.” The Center is designed to cater to those interested in beautifying their home and yards, without necessarily knowing a lot about gardening and plant care.

The music, then, is just a bonus, but it’s a bonus well appreciated by area fans looking to hear some good music, enjoy good weather, and do so without too much of a crowd.

“We love the Festival,” said Kevin, “and we’re not looking to compete with them in any way. In fact, during the Festival we make an effort to ensure we book a completely different type of music to what they’re offering. We appreciate what they bring to our community.” But a love of outdoor music is growing in the area, and there’s support for two ways of getting it on a hot August night.

This month you can catch David Raitt and the Baja Boogie Band on August 10, and help support the City of Ponderay Parks Dept. On August 17, the 50s/60s band Cruise Control is a benefit for Kinderhaven. Texan Thom Shepherd will help raise money for the local chapter of the Vietnam Veterans with his country croonings on Aug. 24 and, for the big finale, Nu Jack City will return on Aug. 31 to benefit the Forrest Bird Charter School.

You can learn more about Ponderay Garden Center by visiting their website at PonderayGarden.com. To book their beautiful venue for a private event, give Kevin a call at 208-255-4277 or email kevin@ponderaygarden.com. Or just stop by for a visit; the Center is open Monday through Friday from 7 am to 6 pm, and Saturday from 9 am to 6 pm. In fact, pack a lunch—many area residents treat the Garden Center as a city park, and spend hours just enjoying its calming beauty.

Ponderay Garden Center closes for the season in October, so make sure you take time for a visit while the days are warm.

-Trish Gannon

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page

Heron offers Henry V

No Line Camping at Festival at Sandpoint The Festival at Sandpoint has announced that the city of Sandpoint will be enforcing their policy of no camping in city parks this year, which means those who traditionally “camp” in the line for this popular concert series will now have to wait until 6 am to get in line.

“Sandpoint Police Department, with full support from The Festival at Sandpoint, will be enforcing the existing ordinance #5-2-4 prohibiting overnight camping on city property,” said Executive Director Dyno Wahl in a recent press release. “In response to neighborhood concerns which escalated last year with record crowds, SPD will also enforce another city ordinance #4-1-2 which prohibits disturbing the peace during the night and early morning hours. The Festival encourages people to line up early in the morning starting at 6 am.”

Die-hard Festival fans have been setting up chairs and sleeping bags in line for years, hoping to snag a good spot on the field for the next day’s concerts, but complaints about the actions of some in the line—including rowdy, loud behavior, underage drinking and even a couple having sex on the sidewalk in full view of other line-sitters—has caused the city to clamp down on the practice.

Although concert-goers will have to wait to get in line, the Festival’s line policy remains unchanged. “Our line and numbering policy is designed to reward you for being early while setting you free to enjoy a summer day in our beautiful town,” said Wahl.

Between 8 and 8:30 am, front gate chairperson Rick Miller arrives to give out numbers to those waiting in line.

Additional number “disbursements”

are made around 10-11 am, and again around 1-2 pm. Once you’ve received your number, you are free to leave, but must return at least an hour prior to the concert opening time, to claim your place in line. Only one number is given per person, and you must be physically present to get a number. If you don’t arrive in time to get a number, take a place at the end of the line and stay to ensure your spot. Those who received numbers earlier will be the first in line.

If you have questions about the number policy, please call Rick Miller at 208-304-0486. If you have questions about city policy, please call Sandpoint Police Chief Corey Coon at 208-265-1482.

Note: the photo above is for illustrative purposes only, and is not intended to suggest that any person pictured is responsible for the behavior that has led to the city’s actions.

In addition, despite appearances, you must actually be a real human in order to receive a number. Dummies, no matter how creatively dressed, are not eligible to receive a line number.

One of the summer’s most anticipated events all across the region, Montana Shakespeare in the Parks brings professional productions at no cost to the public to communities throughout Montana, northern Wyoming, eastern Idaho, western North Dakota and eastern Washington. Locally, residents far and wide mark their calendars for an evening of Shakespeare in Heron, Montana’s beautiful ballfield, to be held this year on Saturday, August 17 at 6 pm MST. According to Shakespeare in the Park’s, “Beginning the 41st season will be one of Shakespeare’s most popular history plays, Henry V. This production will be directed by Artistic Director Joel Jahnke who has been with the company since 1977.

“In the opening speech of Henry V, Shakespeare asks the audience, “On your imaginary forces work,” since the obvious limitations of the stage could never adequately depict a battle of several thousand and all the elements of this historic story. The play is then theatrically structured with a narrator who introduces each scene. This theatricality will become the center of this focus for this production.

Other than the actor playing Henry, the other nine actors will take on multiple roles changing costumes and gathering properties in full view of the audience.

As always, there is no charge to attend this first-rate performance, and visitors are encouraged to bring their dinner and beverage of choice to enjoy with a couple hundred of their fellow Shakespeare fanciers.

For more information on the plays and a complete tour schedule, you may visit the company’s website at ShakespeareintheParks.org.

Guaranteed by Mother Nature

Cedar Outlet

Fencing • Decking • Siding • Shingles • Panelling 1 mile north of Big R on Hwy. 95

www.CedarsofIdaho.com

CALL FOR SERVICE 208-263-1208

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August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page

The Game Trail Matt Haag

Summer is here and I’m ready for it to quickly fade into fall with cooler temperatures, football, and of course, hunting season. By the end of this month some hunting seasons will have started and those hunters lucky enough to bag a critter will be showing off their trophies.

Times have changed when it comes to bragging about one’s successes afield.

With digital cameras, social media, and ever expanding connectivity through the internet we are almost instantly notified of our friends’ and family’s adventures, with hunting being no different. Pictures hanging in the local gas station of our quarry along with postings on social media like Facebook pages seem to be growing in popularity. On the flip side, more traditional news sources like the Bonner County Daily Bee seem to have deleted the hunting success stories from print. Wildlife stories in general, unless they are sensational or attention grabbing, rarely make the newspaper anymore.

So who are the agents, the diplomats, and the ambassadors, if you will, for hunting these days? You, the average hunter across North America are collectively; you are the liaison between those who hunt and the rest of the nonhunting parts of society. Each one of us paints a picture through our actions about hunting and how it’s perceived in our communities and country. How you act in the woods, how you treat your animal during and after the kill, and the bragging all affect everybody in some fashion.

Think it doesn’t matter what people think about hunting? You are dead wrong.

If you think along the lines of “this is ‘Merica damn it, I can do what I want and I’ll shove it in their face,” then you are doing a great disservice to the hunting community and hunting alike.

We are connected more so these

How Do You Represent Hunting? days than we care to even fathom. Take Facebook for example; you might think that when you post a picture of your elk that it’s just for your friends to see, but their friends see it, and your spouse’s friends see it and so own and so forth.

Think before you post something, “will this negatively impact the sport of hunting?”

American hunters, not anti-hunters, hold the key to perceptions of hunting.

Only 17 percent of the American population is against hunting and most of those people oppose hunting for moral reasons. Approximately 75 percent of the American population supports hunting and think it’s important for wildlife management, a great source of local clean meat, and a healthy outdoor activity.

The interesting point is that only about 10 percent of the US population actually hunts; of course, in Idaho that’s much higher, somewhere around 35 percent.

I threw a lot of numbers at you, so what does that all mean? In a nut shell, there are a lot of folks in Idaho, and the rest of the states, that support hunting but don’t participate in any hunting activity. Those folks are watching and listening to how hunters act and are constantly reevaluating their perspectives according to their experiences. Do you still think that you should “shove it in their face” when they disagree or are offended?

Of course, there’s the 17 percent of the population that will never change their minds because of moral concerns. Fine, that’s their right and of course there is a small percentage of that population who like to shove it in your face about how hunting is wrong. Take the higher road, and those looking in on the hunting community with be pleasantly surprised by your behavior.

American society is urbanizing at an alarming rate. We have been slowly moving that way since the 1800s but

Proud to Provide Environmentally Conscientious Construction and Consultation Accepting Selected Projects Only

“The rumors of my retirement are greatly exaggerated.”

P.O. Box 118 • Hope, Idaho • 208.264.5621

since the 1950s we have seen a 35 percent increase in the population living in a city setting. Presently 80 percent of our population now lives in urban areas!

Attitudes and trends change with that urbanization; some people think of hunting as barbaric while they go buy their meat from a grocery store. Their education on the natural world comes from shows like the Animal Planet and National Geographic. A good number of those people don’t hunt but still remember where they came from and have grandparents who hunted, relying on that meat to feed their families.

They still support hunting but that may slowly disappear as they get further disconnected from the natural world and her processes. Remember those people when you post the next photo on Facebook with you and your buddy’s deer stacked up in the back of the truck.

Or think about the negative perception when you leave your elk in the back of the truck for everybody to see at the Cabinet Mountain Bar while you slam down a few drinks. Yeah, your buddies appreciate it, but what about that 65 percent of the Idaho population that doesn’t hunt, but supports hunting? Are they still going to support hunting when they see that?

So you say you still don’t really care because hunting, fishing, and trapping have become a constitutionally protected activity in Idaho. It can just as easily be removed as fast as it was ratified; think about the future with your present actions.

When we go to work we represent the outfit we work for and our supervisors ask that we do so with a positive image.

Whether you wear a uniform or have a company logo on the side of your vehicle, everybody knows who you work for, especially in small communities. The same is true for hunters; everybody knows if you are a hunter, so be a positive representative for not only the hunting community but the non-hunting community as well.

The Father of Conservation, Theodore Roosevelt, was quoted as saying “Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” As hunters, please work hard at being a positive agent for hunting; the puffy chest approach feels good, but does no good.

Leave No Child Inside . . .and teach them to be a positive hunting ambassador for the future.

Page | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8|August 2013

A Bird in Hand Michael Turnlund

E-Birding: The future of birding

The Internet is a wonderful resource for the birder. There is information available for all levels of interest, from the “whatis-that?” backyard birder to the rabid enthusiast planning his or her third trip to Attu, Alaska (look it up). In this month’s column I want to share some of my favorite Internet sites.

In the old days a birder really only had field guides to use as practical references. Subsequently, the measure of a birder’s interest was how many different bird books he or she might possess. I remember always having at least two different field guides with me, to use as cross references. I didn’t tote them both with me while “in the field,” but they were always waiting for me in my car to compare to my notes.

Enthusiasts could also get recordings of the songs of the more familiar bird species on LPs (note to my younger readers, these are also called records or albums… ask grandma, she’ll explain).

I still have my multi-disc Peterson Field Guide to Bird Songs tucked away somewhere, although I haven’t played them in decades.

Instead, I prefer listening to bird songs on the Internet. There are a variety of sites that have countless sound files to almost any species of birds. And not just the songs of breeding season, but also different calls such as alarm or flocking calls. This is good stuff! And important; as learning bird songs is an essential tool for not necessarily recognizing species you are familiar with, but the opposite. I often find species that are new to me by being alerted to songs or calls that I am not familiar with. This is especially true for the little guys, like warblers and vireos. When I’m out and about with my binoculars in hand, nothing gets me more excited than an unfamiliar bird song.

My favorite site for bird sounds is the Cornell Lab of Ornithology site, called All About Birds (just Google it). Here you can search birds by species and find a lot of useful information.

Actually, much of the species-specific information is scant from an experienced birder’s point of reference, but for the rookie it is just right. And the audio files are a treasure trove.

Interestingly, I’ve discovered that for many species, especially those that are continental in distribution, it is best to select an audio file nearest to my home state. This is because these broadly distributed bird species often have distinct regional “accents,” and an eastern bird will sound different than a western bird of the same species. So if you have an option, select the sound file that was recorded in the state nearest to you. Sometimes the differences are not great, but other times they are surprisingly so. For example, at the Cornell site listen to the differences between a Chipping Sparrow song from Oregon and one from Maryland. You’d think that you were listening to two different species.

These sounds files can also be essential in differentiating between very similar species, such the Empidonax flycatchers, which are sometimes so hard to tell apart in the field that people just ID them as “empis.” I recently was able to definitively differentiate a Dusky Flycatcher from the nearly identical Hammond’s and Least Flycatchers (among others!) because of its song. On a trip to south Texas it was only the voice recording (using a cell phone!) that helped my son, Jesse, and I to definitively separate a Great Crested Flycatcher from its virtually identical cousins. Pretty cool!

Another very useful site is Ebird.org. Here you can access dynamic, real-time maps of bird sightings in your region, even your neighborhood. There is a search option that allows you to find out what species of birds are being seen and reported,

by date and location. It is an essential tool, even for the most experienced birder. There is also an option that allows you, as a citizen scientist, to submit your own observations. What I especially appreciate about Ebird is that unusual or atypical sightings, such as reporting a California Condor at the Kootenai Wildlife Refuge, will be flagged and thoroughly vetted before being allowed to be posted on the map. I appreciate this extra step on the part of the folks at Ebird and this extra effort helps to maintain the integrity of the documenting process.

Another favorite site is Idahobirds.net. This site is not as slick and user-friendly as the ones mentioned above, but the information is spot-on. It is operated and maintained by the Idaho Audubon Council. There are many links that cover a variety of useful information and this is an essential starting point for the new or less-experienced birder. My favorite feature of Idahobirds.net is the Latilong Species Distribution Maps. It is hard to explain this feature by simply writing about it—you need to go online and try it out—but basically is divides up the state of Idaho with gridlines (latitude and longitude) and reports observations within those grids by experienced birders (the same types of folks that go to Attu Island). Here you get information about a great many species, including vagrants, going back many, many years. There is even a listing for the Passenger Pigeon! How cool is that!?

I thoroughly enjoy “ebirding,” using the Internet to expand and develop my skills as an amateur birder. In fact, I believe that it is fair to say that I’ve become a much better (and exacting) birder because of the resources that these “inter-tubes” have brought into my home. I can’t imagine turning off the Internet and returning to my dusty old Peterson guide albums. Now, these resources do not replace my Sibley’s Guide to Birds, but they sure add a useful dimension to my favorite sport. So stay home and get online. You got some birding to do!

Happy Birding!

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page

Kathy’s Faith Walk Kathy Osborne Faith Walk—a euphemism for what is commonly known as the meat grinder of emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual changes necessary to produce a well-rounded, mature Christ Follower.

Media mogul Ted Turner once said “Christianity is a crutch for the weak, a religion for losers.” He is not the first to make such a comment. He likely is not the last.

I recently had an acquaintance tell me that I seemed calmer these days, like I was more at peace. It sure sounded like a nice thing to say, at least, I thought so, given this wreck of a world we all live in. To be at peace—it seems to be what everyone wants from the people in the Middle East to the guy down the street trying to hang on to a good job and feed his children. But when I told my acquaintance the reason for this peace was a change in my habits, she became upset. I told her I had determined to read my Bible every morning before I start my day; to pray and ask God what he wanted me to do and where I should go. I told her that I had stopped trying to run my life and was now asking God throughout the day if I was on track and if not, to help me get back on the path. I told her I was starting to look at people the way God does, with unconditional love and compassion for a lost and hurting creation.

I told her that the focus for my life was off of me and onto what God wants.

“But what about free choice?” she asked. I marveled.

“I did make a free choice. I put God back in His rightful place in my life,” I told her. She marveled.

Even though this choice I made had brought me peace and a sense of purpose, she had no room for the possibility in her own life. Her focus was to retain as much choice-making freedom in her experience as possible even while that choice had brought her little more than grief and one

Faith is Not for the Weak mistake after another for the last 20 years.

One would think a soul would grow tired of such a life.

I have never had so many hard choices thrown at me in my 37 years of following Christ as I have this past year. While I walk in the woods and let the breeze and creek water wash over me I spend time in the presence of God. When I leave that place I have to walk in a culture that is so brazen in its rebellion against God that it will openly consider that “post birth abortion” is acceptable and adults who hunt and sexually exploit children are now “minor-attracted persons,” in an effort to normalize the behavior as just another mental makeup consideration. The aborting of a fetus is legal but the killing of a pregnant woman carries the potential for a double murder charge. The choice is to address an increasingly violent culture with the truth or to sit in silence, which is, of course, consent.

Absent the absolute, the absurdity in our culture is a challenge to keep up with.

One is forced to watch it with a sense of morbid curiosity, just wondering when it will self-destruct.

Christianity: a crutch for the weak?

How weak is a person who will take abandoned newborns out of the hospital and into their own home to feed, love and care for until a permanent home can be found? How weak is the person who will stand in the gap and make sure food is delivered to thousands of people around the world while armed men try to steal it away? How weak is the man who will work hard to keep his family together another day just to honor God and make sure his wife knows he loves her and his children know he will always be a refuge for them?

How weak is the teenage Muslim girl who chooses life-giving faith in Christ even as she is faced with the violent retribution of Islam? Christianity is for the weak? Oh,

Why drive to town when there’s better things to do?

how I beg to differ.

Christianity is the calling to watch our tongues; to take care of the widow and the orphan (James 1: 26,27); Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. (Isaiah 1:17) To go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28: 19,20) To preach freedom to the captive and to give sight to the blind, to feed the hungry and to comfort those who mourn (Isaiah 61:1) while in most countries under pain of death or imprisonment.

To follow Christ is in fact a free choice.

To follow Him is to speak against sin and death but live in peace. To abide in Him is to be strong and resolute. To love Him is to love people. To know Him is to live forever.

And then get up and do it all over again tomorrow with joy. Gee, I don’t feel like a loser...

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Page 10 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8|August 2013

The Hawk’s Nest Ernie Hawks

The schedule says; lights out 11:30 pm, basketball game 6 am, meditation 7:30 am, breakfast 8 am. Okay I don’t really need be part of the basketball game or even the meditation (there still is need for an adult to be with them) but lights out at 11:30 will even make an 8 am breakfast difficult.

At home, lights out is about sunset; during the summer months, a little before. It is also when my daily energy is used up.

The schedule is for Rendezvous, a long weekend church camp experience with over 70 high-schoolers from all over the Northwest and southwest B.C. Of course, the schedule is not problematic to their energy, my only concern is I’m in a cabin with several boys loaded with teen spirit.

That is how I found myself near Chewelah Peak in northeastern Washington. I volunteered to be a one of those responsible adults—often a challenge for me. As usual during these events, they demonstrate to me about being responsible.

Being immersed in that adolescent energy is my favorite experience of a time like this. And yet, below that chaotic energy, this group of young people was intent on learning choices that supported their goals and dreams. They were ready to learn skills to take responsibility for their happiness and not be victims.

The environment that is created for this event is intended to be loving and supportive. The days were filled

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A Rendezvous with Energy with scheduled events including heart talks in small “family” groups, learning about confidentiality, caring, listening, individual expression, and spirit share a talent show. As with any teen church group of over 70 people, there were diverse life experiences.

Many have had very loving, supportive family lives but some have not. There were some who felt they could not fit in, who discovered within this loving, nonjudgmental environment they are perfect just as they are.

It is interesting to see the effects of abandonment, whether it is due a broken and/or dysfunctional family life, or due to million dollar careers, or due to extreme substance abuse. The result is the same; only (sometimes) the quality of the clothes is different, and I noticed the clothes was not very important to them.

Mostly I watched them help each other work through their issues. It is always fun to see who can help whom and then how they move to help others either to spread love or receive it. They help each other with fears of every kind. Many times one will be sharing and the receiver will then help the mentor. Much like a roundabout, the giver becomes the receiver, either in return or to others. There is a willingness and intention to give and receive, as they stretch their emotions and show their vulnerabilities, as they dialogue with each other both talking and listening. I watched hours of change and interchange.

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With their youthful energy and exuberance they can sing and dance until soaked in sweat, until hoarse and exhausted, and then get quiet and contemplative, all in a search for truth— their truth.

One evening started with drumming and dancing and ended with a meditation that took us all into silence—a silence that was maintained until after breakfast.

When the chimes rang to end the silence I was surprised to see students who seemed to want to continue.

The setting is wonderful, comfortable and safe. For those not used to being in the woods it is a large open area with modern facilities. Yet the mountains and forest give a true camp feeling.

So in order to support them, I decided I could get a little sleep deprived for a few days. While the energy is quite catching, at 11:30 pm my body is still 65 years old.

My take away from the time there is our world is in good hands. There is a great deal of understanding in my young friends. Taking care as well as taking responsibility. They want to show their caring by helping others while the other learns to help them.

As I write this column—the morning after getting home—it is difficult. I realize I still have a great deal of raw emotion about my time with them. It is challenging because I’m still so close to the miracles of it all. Once again I was taught by them—my receiving - to open my heart to the wonders of Spirit.

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August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 11

A Seat in the House

Rep. George Eskridge

I serve as one of Idaho’s legislative delegates to the Pacific Northwest Economic Region, an organization that I have referred to in previous Journal articles. Very briefly, PNWER “is a public/private non-profit organization created by statute in 1991 by the states of Alaska, Idaho, Oregon, Montana and Washington, the Canadian provinces and territories of British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Northwest Territories and the Yukon.

PNWER’s mission is to increase the economic well-being and quality of life for all citizens of the region, coordinate provincial and state policies throughout the region, identify and promote ‘models of success’ and serve as a conduit to exchange information.”

PNWER members accomplish its mission through the use of several different work groups that meet formally once a year to address various issues of interest to both the U.S. and Canadian members and then develop action items to pursue over the next year that will provide recommendations for policy actions or solutions to issues of controversy for policy makers to consider in addressing issues of concern to both countries. This year the annual summit took place July 14-19 in Anchorage, Alaska.

Both Representative Eric Anderson and I from our legislative district serve as Co-Chairmen of two of these working groups. I serve as Co-Chairman of the Energy II working group that in recent meetings has been emphasizing the need to support energy efficiency programs and development of renewable energy resources to help in meet the region’s energy needs in the most efficient and cost-effective manner.

Representative Anderson serves as CoChairman of the Invasive Species working

Idaho and the Arctic (Caucus) group. The individual state and provincial borders and the international border “poses a challenge in controlling invasive species because of differing policies on regulation, inspection and understanding of invasive species that can leave jurisdictions in both countries at risk.”

In our area the potential of Quagga and Zebra Mussels has become a very serious threat. This working group has effectively provided for regional cooperation in preventing the introduction of these and other invasive species into the region.

Of the many issues PNWER is pursuing, one that is gaining heightened attention, is the interest of several nations in development of the natural resources in the Arctic Region and creating transportation routes for maritime shipping through the region that could shorten transportation routes and reduce shipping costs.

PNWER has formed the Arctic Caucus that is aimed at “establishing a coordinated approach of shared solutions to address common challenges. The Arctic Caucus is the foundation of PNWER’s capacity to engage a sub-national voice at the national level on Arctic issues.” The objectives of the Arctic Caucus are to: • Increase the visibility and priority of Arctic issues in PNWER activities • Build cross-jurisdictional support to achieve mutual goals • Identify areas of opportunity for mutual economic development in the Arctic • Provide support to member jurisdictions to help them achieve their individual goals The Caucus was formed in part from a concern that the United States as a country is not taking a significant interest in the Arctic Region and may lose influence in the development of this region.

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Alaska U.S. Senator Murkowski in speaking at the PNWER summit summarized significant concerns of the PNWER Arctic Caucus by stating: “We in Alaska recognize that we are an Arctic nation, but it’s tough to get that recognition from some of our colleagues in other states. The senators from Iowa don’t necessarily think that they are in an Arctic nation, but they are by virtue of the state of Alaska.”

The Senator went on to say that “the disconnect between the interest of the United States in investing in the Arctic compared to other nations was made all the more clear at a recent Arctic Council meeting in Sweden. While other nations with no Arctic coastline but plenty of interest jockeyed for a place as observers to the council action, the United States was only just putting forth a policy for future investment in the region.”

The PNWER Arctic Caucus is working to bring a heightened involvement by the United States in the development of the Arctic region. The involvement of the United States in concert with the state of Alaska is important in the development of this region in insuring that the concerns and interest of those who live in the region are considered and that the unique environment of the region is protected as development and transportation interests are pursued by various countries interested in the economic potential of this area.

The Arctic Caucus is representative of PNWER’s success in establishing a forum to bring issues of international importance to the forefront and providing recommendations or direction to policy makers and private interests in addressing these issues.

Thanks for reading and as always feel free to contact me at my home email at geskridge(at)coldreams.com, by phone at (208) 265-0123 or by mail at P.O. Box 112, Dover, Idaho 83825. George Council website at tristatecouncil.org.

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| The -River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com Vol. 22 No. 8|August ThePage River12Journal A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol 17 No.|18 | November 2008 2013 | Page 5

The Scenic Route

Huckleberries

Sandy Compton

Up on the south face of Star Peak—up and up and up—three-and-a-half miles from the trailhead and three thousand vertical feet—is my favorite huckleberry patch. Most people won’t tell where their favorite is, I know, but mine is just above the turn into the third loooong switchback after the trail enters the big chunk of lodgepole forest that the beetles got into a decade or more ago. This invasion has resulted in an open hillside that allows lots of sunshine to ripen sweet little nuggets of goodness and mountain flavor.

I feel comfortable sharing my patch with you, because a.) there are plenty of berries for you and me both, and b.) there is no friendly forest road or ORV trail nearby by which you can lift your bucket to the patch via use of the internal combustion engine. You can ride a horse or a mule, or lead a donkey, llama, or a pack savvy dog to help you. But whatever you do, it’s going to take some serious non-mechanical energy to get there, and the better part of a day. Or at least a long morning. So, I think my huckleberry patch is safe. Not many of us have the time or energy to waste (or invest) on picking a patch like that these days. As a friend of mine said not so long ago, “Why should I do that when I can drive to Schweitzer in half an hour and pick ten feet from the car?”

Good question.

I’m not a great huckleberry picker.

It takes me up to an hour to fill a liter Nalgene bottle, depending on the size of the berries. Though I am lamentably

slow, a friend pointed out that, still, I got to spend an hour in the sunshine on a beautiful mountainside and I have a liter of huckleberries.

Good point.

Yesterday’s berries were not gigantic, but they are thick and situated on a hillside where I don’t have to lean far over to pick. That’s one of the things I like about “my” patch. Another—besides its annual dependability—is its diversity of berries.

In the main patch, split by the trail, there are two kinds of huckleberries.

On the uptrail side is the berry most of us think of as the quintessential huck; dusty dark purple orbs that are sweet and tangy. On the downtrail side, and stretching along the trail for about 20 feet, is another variety entirely: ruby red, pear shaped, tart and larger than its purple cousin.

Some folks eschew these because they assume by their color and the piquancy that they aren’t ripe. Believe me, they are.

They come off the stem with the slightest tug, sometimes at a touch. They are also, I think, the most beautiful: translucent as gems and hanging under lime green leaves that are lighter than the foliage of other varieties. As for their tanginess, I think of them as the pie cherries of huckleberries.

Lower on the mountain, growing in the shade, is a third type, often larger still than the ruby red; shiny, indigo blue, round and sweet, with flavor hints of the pines or firs they grow among. These might allow me to fill a Nalgene in 45 minutes, should I find a patch of proper

thickness (A wide-mouth Nalgene makes a great collector if you loop the lid under your belt).

When my mother was a girl, there was a certain age at which she and her siblings could go to the huckleberry fields. Not until one was eleven was one allowed to walk five miles up the creek to pick with the rest of the family. Grandpa Earl carried a pack on his back made of a square, five-gallon tin and leather straps, and everyone else carried a lard bucket. When someone had filled their lard bucket and contributed to Grandpa’s tin, they were allowed to go fishing.

At the end of the day, with a tin full of huckleberries layered with thimbleberry leaves to reduce crushing and cutthroat wrapped in the same and stacked in lard buckets, they would trek home with their treasures; the purple to be turned immediately into a few pies and many jars of huckleberry preserves or bartered to the neighbors in town. The fish were dinner and maybe breakfast, depending on the luck.

That was almost 80 years ago, though.

In the meantime, the internal combustion machine has robbed us of our propensity, willingness, and, perhaps, ability to climb to the huckleberry fields with our lunch in a lard bucket, to pick and fish all day and then walk home, eleven years old or not. However, the bears probably don’t mind the lack of competition, and I can brag up my patch without fear of encountering a crowd of neighbors the next chance I get to sneak up there and pick a Nalgene full of summer.

Dr. Seuss is on the Loose at the 85th Bonner County Fair • August 20-24

Visit our traditional country-style fair with displays and exhibits from area residents, businesses, organizations and 4-H members. Enjoy elephant ears, sno-cones and other traditional fair food while viewing livestock shows, the small animal barn, the Lehman Wildlife Building, and more. Be sure not to miss: • Cow Chip Bingo • Dutch Oven Cooking • Chili Cook-Off • Salsa Competition • 30/30/30 Art Fundraiser • Classes & Demonstrations • Kids Activities

SEE YOU AT THE FAIR!

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 13

DOWNTOWN SANDPOINT EVENTS SANDPOINT EVENTS

August

August 20-24

BONNER COUNTY FAIR! Dr. Seuss is on the Loose!

1-11 The Festival at Sandpoint with the Indigo Girls, Cake, Roseanne Cash, Spokane Youth Orchestra, John Butler Trio, Steve Miller Band, Avett Brothers and the Spokane Symphony.

FestivalatSandpoint.com 9-11, 16-18 Artists’ Studio Tour.

ArtTourDrive.org 10 Celebrate Life Fun Run/Walk.

Begins 9 am on the Long Bridge.

10 Unique Goods & Curious Finds Market, 10 am to 5 pm, Sandpoint Community Hall 10-11 POAC Arts & Crafts Fair.

10-6 on Sat., 10-4 on Sun. at City Beach.

12 Swingstreet Big Band Concert, 7 pm Lakeview Park. FREE 16-17 Spokane to Sandpoint Relay, finishes at City Beach, SpokanetoSandpoint.com 16-17 Bonner County Rodeo, 7 pm both nights at the Fairgrounds.

16-17 and 23-24 The Hunt for the Pend Oreille Paddler, Panida Theater, 7:30 pm. 263-9191 17 King of the Kongcrete, Skate competition at Traver’s Park.

Begins at noon.

20-24 Bonner County Fair 24 Demolition Derby, 7 pm, Bonner County Fairgrounds 29 Rock Creek Alliance Annual Party, 5-8 pm, Pend d’Oreille Winery

September

Experience

Downtown Sandpoint!

Visit www.DowntownSandpoint.com for a complete calendar of events

6 The Hunting Film Tour, FREE, 6 pm Panida Theater

PLUS:

• Trivia every Tuesday night at MickDuff’s, 7 to 10 pm.

• Tuesdays with Ray, Trinity at City Beach, 6 to 8 pm.

• Club Music, Wednesday 6-9 pm at La Rosa Club.

• Monarch Movie Night, third Thursdays, 7 pm at Monarch Mountain Coffee.

• Contra Dance, every 2nd Friday of the month at Community Hall, 7 pm • Winery Music - Live music every Friday night at Pend d’Oreille Winery • Saturday Jam at the La Rosa Club. Live music! 255-2100 • Saturday market at the Granary.

513 Oak, 9 am to 1 pm • Summer Sounds at Park Place, 46 pm on Saturdays, corner of First & Cedar.

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 14

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The

Valley of Shadows

The Anthology Edition

“Most people in the world don’t move anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them in.” Eric Kripke from the CW TV series “Supernatural.”

What “They” May Have Done This story is, or was, a whispered take passed around a certain group of people back about a quarter century ago. I do not vouch for its veracity, but based on certain elements that, to this day, have yet to be stamped out completely, would not eliminate it from the realm of possibility; at least, the non-supernatural part.

They have ‘slipped the surly bonds of earth’ and ‘touch the face of God.’

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According to this unsubstantiated account, back in the late 1980s a transient who frequented Sandpoint and the surrounding area disappeared and, in certain circles, was allegedly murdered for kicks by some “stoners.”

The man was tall, with mahoganycolored hair, and was reportedly a quarter African American.

The homeless man would often stand on a street corner, half-heartedly holding a written sign, asking for any help folks could spare.

Supposedly, he would often hang out around the Dub’s or Serv-a-Burger areas, so he could go get himself a hamburger with whatever he could panhandle.

He would frequently take refuge in the library, then located on Second Ave., while squatting in various abandoned houses around town.

One of his favorite haunts was Lakeview Park for its restrooms, where he could obtain minimal toilet facilities to clean himself. One time, he endeared himself to some of the fringier elements of town: those who partied a little too much, maybe smoked a little weed or tasted those little squares on their tongues, but who were nonetheless peaceful, let-live types who only wanted to listen to their music and not bother others.

This is where my knowledge comes in. In my younger days, I was taking care of elderly parents, and though I was several years older than the others, would occasionally brush the fringes of this world just to escape the isolation of my existence. And this was where I heard this tale.

It was one fall in the late 80s. I was at a friend’s house, where he told me that the transient had come to the notice of these stoners, and they had snatched him one day about a year before.

They took him up the High Drive and put a bullet in his brain, then tossed the body down an embankment and drove back to Sandpoint.

Now comes the... other part. One of the murderers began to experience things: visions of chaos, of a man’s head shattered and bleeding horribly, that haunted his dreams.

The second of this murdering pair apparently had ice water in his veins, as nothing would affect him. Except... he would stare endlessly forward, no matter

Lawrence Fury

what he was doing, as if he were keeping something at bay by looking at it.

Was something seeking retribution for a life snuffed out prematurely due to nothing more than thrill-seeking?

According to the story, one of the stoners died of an overdose; the other simply disappeared one day, never to be seen again.

Bigfoot Blues

This story was recently told to me by... well, I can’t say, as most of my sources like it. Small towns breed snickers and finger pointing.

Anyway, it was in the last several years that my source was up at the Sandpoint Rifle Range, target practicing. It was late summer or early fall, and mid-week. He was alone, and between jobs.

Out of ammo, my... man was contemplating cheap options for dinner.

A Mexican frozen-food TV dinner from Wal-Mart, a bag of cheeseburgers from Zips for $3.95, or a couple of other cheap choices, like beans from a can. Being between jobs has its drawbacks.

Then he smelled it, and heard it. A rancid, cloying, rotten odor, along the lines of a million unwashed feet, along with an odd grunting that sounded remarkably human-like.

Now you’re going to say, “Not another Bigfoot story!” Well, yes and no. My source wisely retreated to his Ford pickup, but not before getting a quick glimpse of the source of the stench and sound.

From around a stand of birch came a figure; humanoid. At first he thought it was a bear... with blue fur! It stood at least seven feet tall and walked with a gait that humorously reminded my source of his last employer.

The blue was the color of a blue jay; the face reminded him of his aunt. It was female.

He hit the gas and all but flew down Baldy Mountain Road, breathing easier when he hit the intersection with Upland Drive.

Stories of Bigfoot are common in the Northwest, and even in North Idaho, several of which I’ve reported on here.

But one with blue fur is something new.

Could it have been a mutant Bigfoot, or maybe even a totally new species?

If you’ve seen something odd, drop us a note.

August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 15

Get Growing!

Nancy Hastings

Almost daily, we all experience those unscheduled trips down memory lane.

Sometimes it’s triggered by hearing an old song on the radio that reminds us of high school dances and younger days.

Other memories of special people and times in our lives are often reawakened in our hearts by sifting through old photos.

Perhaps memories are launched by particular smells of grandmother’s cookies or the lavender fragrance she wore.

Certainly, if we pause to reflect, great memories return from unique places and

Bonner County Fair

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Saturday - Tough Enough to Wear Pink 208-263-8414

Memories Planted Deep plants we travel through and live among.

My earliest childhood memories include opening up our second-story bedroom windows in the spring and summer to drink in the fragrance of my mother’s “Landscape.” As a full time teacher with 11 children and a huge vegetable garden to tend to, my mother kept her landscape plantings simple, but fragrant. The north side had a long stand of 10-foot purple lilacs that released its heady scent every spring. Her south side row of Rugosa Roses were prickly and tough enough to keep kids and animals out, but allowed a wonderful aroma in for the summer. I planted my first tree with my Grandfather Art. He lived in town, and took it upon himself to line the narrow right of way along his village sidewalks with dozens of shady maples. Many of those Crimson King, Sugar and Red Maples still stand majestic and beautiful even now, 50 years after his donation to the city.

Trying to power hike lots of miles in one day with my sister Jeanine was always a bit frustrating when I was young. She preferred to linger and identify ALL the native flora and fauna. On one Fourth of July morning hiking Stony Indian Pass in Glacier, I realized that there really is no one better to be stranded in the forest with than her, as she foraged and produced red, white and blue pancakes from wild huckleberries and strawberries for breakfast.

Farming was my father’s all consuming life’s work, from sunup till sundown, 365 days a year. He once tried his hand at floral arranging. He spotted some lovely tiny lavender flowers of the wild Creeping Charlie invading our lawn. This plant is pretty much a noxious weed to turf experts; however, before I could mow it down, he stopped me and picked them.

He then carefully took them inside the house cupped in his giant rough hands and floated the delicate, purple orchid-like blossoms in a shot glass on the kitchen table.

This is our first River Journal issue without even the possibility of the creative musings of Boots Reynolds, and there is certainly a hole in our hearts. I had the pleasure of getting to know Boots and Becky through gardening and each year, before he went off to the Cowboy Cartoonist Convention in Las Vegas, Boots made sure he had a bouquet of flowers sent to his sweetie while he was away.

This year, Boots selected rose bush plants, knowing and hoping this would be his enduring bouquet to Becky in the years to come. We all miss your ability to make us a smile anytime sweet Boots, and grateful for the memories you planted along the way.

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208.265.2500 • 800.338.9835 Page 16 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8|August 2013

Veterans’ News

Gil Beyer

Sequester Jeopardizes Military

For several months last year our we routinely drove in to the base on a existing families who join the military Congress had the Sequester’hanging over monthly basis. While there we stocked because of the poor job market. all budgetary deliberations. For those up on milk, canned goods and other Statistics show that last year, $99 of you who don’t remember, in 2011 basic necessities. Since those were pretty million in food stamps were cashed in Congress passed a law saying that if they lean years, that monthly trip served as a at bases by military families, disabled couldn’t agree on a plan to reduce our ‘family outing’ and gave us a chance to veterans and other with military deficit by $4 trillion—including the $2.5 have lunch or dinner someplace other identification. This year more than $53 trillion in deficit reduction lawmakers in than home. million were cashed in through June both parties have already accomplished It seems that the Sequester has now according to the Defense Commissary over the last few years—about $1 trillion adversely affected the entire country— Agency. That is an increase from last year in automatic, arbitrary and across the that is, except for the very people who and projects to a 7 percent increase in board budget cuts would start to take allowed this fiasco to happen—our food stamp usage on military installations. effect in 2013.

Congress. When cuts to the FAA budget It has been reported that the SNAP The Sequester was designed to be forced them to furlough some air traffic program may be reinstated in the Senate. so odious, so draconian that no elected controllers, slowing scheduled airlines, But the odds of this reinsertion being representative could possibly allow those our elected representatives somehow accepted and passed in the gridlocked cuts to go into effect. Well, guess what? managed to find enough money to allow House is tenuous at best.

Our completely dysfunctional Congress the FAA to operate at full strength. Funny The Republican controlled House allowed those cuts to go into effect March how that only happened because the insists on giving the Armed Forces more 1. Supposedly, the cuts will end with the Congress was preparing for its summer money than even they want while shortstart of the new Federal fiscal year on recess and they all wanted to go home! changing every other program that helps October 1, but that is not certain.

The duplicity of this bunch of clowns veterans and the disadvantaged. We can These cuts have jeopardized our that currently occupy the Congress do better than these Do-Nothings holding military readiness and eviscerated jobknows no bounds! Congress ensures that the country hostage to their ideologies. creating investments in education and wealthy corporate farmers retain their Come the 2014 primaries we must rectify energy and medical research, nationwide subsidies while eliminating the Food this ridiculous situation in the U.S. House, and they fail to take into account whether Stamp program in the recently passed the U.S. Senate and State Legislatures they eliminate some bloated program that Farm Bill. Maybe you are wondering how Nationwide. has outlived its usefulness, or cut a vital food stamps relate to military readiness?

In other local news of note there may service that Americans depend on every According to the Military.com website, be some movement in creating a new 88single day.

5,000 food stamp recipients listed their bed veterans home Post Falls. According As a wannabe writer/historian, the employment as ‘active duty military.’ to a CDA Press article on 7/18/2013 there Sequester has adversely impacted me I know if it was my family that wasn’t is good chance that land for this home directly. The resources staffers at the eating regularly it would affect my job could be donated. Having the site free National Archives and Navy History & performance. And when protecting of cost should improve the chances of Heritage Command have had their work America was my job, that job could suffer. getting the funding needed to create a week shorted. This creates a backlog in Granted, most of these personnel fourth veterans home in Idaho. Currently, information requests and response to any promote out of the need for SNAP the nearest veterans home is in Lewiston. and all inquiries. I’ve been waiting two (Supplementary Nutritional Assistance The two other homes are located in Boise months for an answer to a question about Program—food stamps) due to and Pocatello. At best it will be some time the Korean Conflict. corresponding pay raises and other next year before any firm word comes out Another impact of the sequester hits allowances as an individual moves to a of the VA Headquarters in Washington, every local retired service member—at higher pay grade. The fact remains that DC. Stay tuned. least those of us who utilize the facilities this is a vulnerable population. Most of Until next month, take care and enjoy at Fairchild Air Force Base. The other day these recipients are older recruits with our summer—it will over sooner than we I had occasion to go to Spokane for a ball want. game and decided to stop by the base to pick up some groceries at the Commissary.

I’ve known for years that the Commissary was closed on Mondays but since it was Tuesday I figured no problem. I pulled into a mostly empty parking lot in front of the store and walked toward the door. with your hosts Terry & Posted prominently on the entry was a sign that read “CLOSED.” The placard went Carole Chowning on to explain that due to the Sequester, operating hours had to be reduced Coffee and other because of shortened work hours and specialty drinks, reduced staffing. The sign further stated pastries & more these operating hours would be in effect until the end of September.

For over 30 years I have come to rely Hwy 200 1 mile west of Clark Fork • 208-266-1245 on Fairchild for everything from cereal to pain relievers. For most of the first ten Now Open Mon-Sat 7 to 2 • Sunday 8 to 2 years of my family living in North Idaho August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 17

Espresso at Annie’s Orchard

PASSAGES •

Gene TOTORELLA M.D. March 25, 1966 - July 7, 2013 Veteran - U.S. Army www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Virginia TIBBS August 12, 1921 - July 13, 2013 www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Robert PENCE November 26, 1945 - July 13, 2013 Veteran - U.S. Army Reserve www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Melody Kay KEENER November 5, 1953 - July 17, 2013 www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Patrick ORTON October 16, 1989 - July 20, 2013 www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Penny Vivian Wells OWENS August 9, 1944 - July 22, 2013 www.LakeviewFuneral.com

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Mary Noble BACHOWSKY March 31, 1935 - June 28, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Linda Darlene Wilson MYHRE January 15, 1942 - June 30, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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John Michael “Mike” CRAVEN May 21, 1940 - July 1, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Norman Ellsworth SKABO April 15, 1912 - July 8, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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William James HEFNER August 11, 1924 - July 10, 2013 Veteran - U.S. Military www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Thelma Jayne HERRMANN April 15, 1915 - July 12, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Jeffrey George MEREDITH Sr. June 17, 1956 - July 14, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Kimberly Anne Siegel MARLEY July 20, 1976 - July 18, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Wade Gary BROWN April 27, 1941 - July 19, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

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Kevin Blaine BENNETT January 27, 1977 - July 23, 2013 www.CoffeltFuneral.com

Roy “Boots” Reynolds 1935-2013

A lot has been said about Boots Reynolds, but most of it can’t be printed.

One printable comment was made, however, by a friend who said, “He can buck a fella off harder with a paintbrush than any bronc I’ve seen!” Probably because Boots had been that fella too many times.

Western artist and cartoonist, Boots Reynolds, 78, peacefully headed for his last round-up from his home on July 12 , 2013 after losing the final go-round with cancer.

Boots was born Roy Reynolds, Jr. March 28, 1935 to Roy, Sr. and Fanny Reynolds in Vinita, Okla. He was raised by his father on the ranches in the Osage country of Oklahoma and was on, over, under, and around horses all his life.

His career began at the age of eight as a brush track jockey for his uncle by riding in matched horse races all over the state. When he was 16 he graduated to the quarter horse race tracks of Riudoso and Raton, New Mexico. Unfortunately, he had a growth spurt due to too many cheeseburgers and literally ate himself out of a job. He then decided to travel and see more of the world and Uncle Sam gave him that opportunity for free with the Marine Corps. He got to travel to Korea for two years and see what war was like.

After returning to the states he ventured into rodeo while still at Camp Pendleton, Calif. and tried his luck at riding bareback broncs, calf roping and clowning. Unfortunately, he took too many hard falls and won too seldom so it was on to ranching in Wyoming and then Texas. Somehow in 1973 he ended up in north Idaho in St. Maries and while working for the Forest Service he met his wife, Becky. They moved to Sandpoint in 1974 and have lived in Bonner county ever since. The last 30 years they have resided on Trestle Creek Road near Hope.

It was after moving here that Boots decided to become a full time artist/ cartoonist. He had been drawing all his life with his first drawings being done on the cardboard boxes used to deliver groceries to the ranches he lived on.

After starting school he got to use real paper and would mention that his arithmetic just didn’t look right without a horse grazing on the addition. Since he always saw humor in his surroundings, it was only natural that he began drawing “funny pitchers.” Eventually his pen and

ink cartoons made it to the pages of such magazines as Western Horseman, ProRodeo Sports News, Horse and Horseman, Horse and Rider, American Cowboy, Outdoor Life, Bugle Magazine, Sports Afield, plus work for Ducks Unlimited and the NRA. The next step in his art career was to try his hand at painting and it was what Boots seemed to naturally do best. His humorous western and outdoor paintings and prints became very popular. Ed Trumble of Leanin’ Tree Publishing in Boulder, Colo. took notice and over the last 30 years has used close to 90 of Boots’ images for greeting cards and other related products. Ed was a mentor to Boots and encouraged him to develop his own unique style of artwork rather than go to art school. It was Ed who also suggested that Boots put his little rattlesnake, Buzztail, in all his paintings which became his trademark.

Boots’ illustrations have also been published in many books for many different authors. He collaborated with Jim Zumbo of Outdoor Life on three of his books on hunting. He also did illustrations and contributed two stories to “Chicken Soup for the Horse Lover’s Soul” book.

But one of his favorite projects was illustrating some stories for his friend and fellow humorist, Pat McManus.

They joined forces and Boots did twelve paintings based on Pat’s stories for a calendar published by Henry Holt and Sons in 1993. In 2008 Boots proudly had a full color coffee table book of his artwork and favorite bean recipes produced by Keokee Publishing titled “Boots and Beans.”

Over the years Boots won many awards for his artwork, but his greatest reward was the recognition he got from the ranchers, cowboys, outfitters, hunters, and outdoorsmen that could identify so closely to his paintings and their subjects. Nothing pleased him more than to have them explain how they could personally relate to what was going on in one of his paintings, because it had really happened to them or someone they knew.

He was a member of the Professional Rodeo Cowboy Artists Association for many years and was also a founding member of the Cowboy Cartoonists International. Hard to believe that there were others out there that were of the same mindset, but they do exist and they are all truly kindred spirits that have

Page 18 | The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8|August 2013

From the Mouth of the River

finally found each other through the CCI. In recent years Boots tackled another avenue of expression when he began writing. He was generously mentored and encouraged in this by two Sandpoint authors, Marianne Love and Pat McManus. Humorous stories of his childhood were a favorite subject and he also wrote a monthly column called “The Mouth of the River” for The River Journal.

Next to cartooning and painting, Boots’ passion was fishing, especially fly fishing on the Kootenai and Clark Fork Rivers and trolling for steelhead on the Clearwater and Snake. Walleye fishing on Lake Roosevelt was his most recent pursuit and these last few years he tried to go as often as possible.

He had some memorable and harrowing trips with his good friends, fishing guru, Cliff Dare from Troy, Montana, fearless guide, Tim Johnson of Clarkston, Washington and especially world renowned international sportsman, Dave Lisaius of Colbert, Washington, plus his good neighbor, Gene.

Perhaps his greatest fishing adventure happened right here on Lake Pend Oreille in 2008 with fellow local artist and sportsman, Ward Tollbum, when they got really lucky and caught 22 lake trout, all over 5 lbs. each, in just two hours. It was the trip of a lifetime for both and they were sure they had set some kind of record.

His parents, four sisters—Yoshi, Iva Lee, Thela Mae, and Willa Bea—and an infant son, Roy Harold, have all preceded him

in death.

Boots is survived by his wife of 39 years, Becky, who always stood behind him saying “That’s not right” until he got it right.

Other survivors include daughters, Rae Ann Gallegos, Roydene Bouck, Nevada, son, Rusty Reynolds, granddaughter, Michelle Massaro and great granddaughter, Mia, and grandsons, Mark Gallegos ,Cody, Robert and Nick Reynolds and Mark Bouck.

He also leaves behind all the numerous friends he’s made around the country over the years and he’ll always have a special place in his heart for his other “wife” fellow artist/cartoonist Bonnie Shields.

Boots and his family would also like to thank everyone at the Kootenai Cancer Center at Bonner General Hospital for all their kindness, caring and patience during his chemo treatments these last few years. And enough cannot be said about the generous and loving staff of Bonner Community Hospice at Bonner General Hospital. They are incredible people that go the extra mile and “thank you” just doesn’t seem to be enough. Memorial donations may be made to: Bonner Community Hospice, 520 N. Third Ave., Sandpoint, Id. 83864.

At Boots’ request there will be no service and he has donated his body to Medcure of Portland, Oregon for medical research and cremation. There will be a private memorial service scheduled for a later date.

If laughter is the best medicine then Boots Reynolds has given us the gift of a lifetime prescription.

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www.FinanMcDonald.com August 2013| The River Journal - A News Magazine Worth Wading Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol. 22 No. 8| Page 19

Scott Clawson

acresnpains@dishmail.net He awoke easy, not with a start like he often did, having two older brothers.

Poking his nine-year-old nose through the split in the curtained window barricading the north run of his single bed, he gathered in a high-elevation, sapphire pre-morning sky. That color he’d so often fallen into, eyelids first, whenever staring at moss agate rings and things on display in the curio stores sprinkled around town, mere seconds before being tossed back out on the sidewalk when it was realized a little kid with a dirty face and a pocket full of marbles wasn’t really in the market for a $40 bolo tie.

Daybreak was coming over the mountains. Time to tiptoe the floorboards for some food. This was his favorite hour of the warm summer season, before any crankiness got up when the sun and work did.

With brothers in the same room and parents separated only by a shared bathroom with velvet curtains instead of doors, which, by the way, have very little insulation value when disguising farts to sound like the calls of the Pileated Woodpecker, he sock hopped the silent planks that were always willing confidants in his clandestine wee hour wanderings.

Out the door and down the hallway into the ‘game room’ where the roulette and poker tables were sleeping under bed sheets guarded by a bank of nickel-plated slot machines and back lit by the green glow of the ‘Ladies’ and ‘Gents’ signs, he let his nose take in the ghosts of the evening before: tobacco, booze and toilet water almost, but not quite, wisping visibly.

Behind the ‘Gents’ sign, he drained the first order of business then picked up twenty cents worth of pocket change, an

average take on a Saturday morning. The ‘Ladies’ generously providing another six bits.

Lighter by nearly a pint and, at the same time heavier by nearly a buck, he headed for the kitchen in his half-worn Keds and kept his eyes peeled for the glint of anymore silver on the dark carpeting. Passing the starkly naked buffet tables, he went through the double swung doors and toggled the lights out of habit. Sliding open a chest freezer lid, he picked up a bag of fresh frozen trout brought in by one of the local characters. Not just any trout though, these were the color of sunrise, glistening gold even through the frosty bag! Stunned afresh from the previous afternoon’s first ogleeyed encounter, he thought about his own chances with his trusty new Zebco 88.

Priority struck again when his gut instincts pointed it out with an echo below his ribcage, prompting a trip to the reachin refrigerator. Out of a ceremony he’d practiced for a couple of years at least, he hefted a six inch skillet off its hook, lit one of the front burners on the massive cast iron range and scrambled a couple of eggs while they cooked in a pat of butter, hopping occasionally to surveil the progress. Two slices of Eddy’s bread went down white then returned nicely tanned. Buttered up, they sat next to his steaming eggs while he plotted the rest of his morning.

Surprises—all be them good ones—are what fuel a young boy’s heart and with that in mind, he gauged how far out it was to the waters those golden trout, he was told, had come from.

“Three miles, maybe four,” he considered, “Half an hour if I don’t run into any stalled moose.” As he ate, he prayed that the door to the back of the bar might

be serendipitously unlocked so that he could fetch his pole, creel and tackle before anyone could scuttle his plans.

His prayer answered when that door opened and the aroma only the rarified atmosphere a back bar possesses folded around his four foot frame. Eyeballs, finally re-dilating after the brightness of the kitchen lights, picked out his gear from the family collection as well as an old pin-up fishing calendar by the door, prompting him to give thanks to the god of happenstance and little fishermen, a god he’d learned to thank often and sincerely.

He was also thankful he’d remembered, the night before, to oil the hinges on the heavy eastern door of the hotel, the one his dad used to expel inebriants through, occasionally one flailing under each armpit.

Outside in the not-far-from-timberline air, the day was shaping up as expected.

The only things moving in this town full of tourists and their handlers were three ravens in winged search of freshly scattered garbage cans courtesy of the nocturnal bear population.

The next several minutes watched as he pedaled the length of town, veered left then right onto the dipsy-doodled dirt road to his favorite stream, the south fork of the Madison River. A place where, decades later, well paid city dudes would gladly shell out thousands of dollars to be outfitted on. A place where he’d seen bobcat and/or lynx, Sandhill Cranes and even a cow moose with calf, both incredibly albino and standing belly deep in current, regarding him as ‘friendly;’ goofy looking, but friendly.

Across the old log bridge two miles out, then hooking left instead of right where the cranes hung out at a meander called Black

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Sands, he rolled on south under the dark canopy of firs and bull pines, their aroma going all the way to the bottom of his bellows.

Almost three miles further, he stopped where the stream played up close to the road, hemmed in by the ties and twin ribbons of the Oregon Short line laid in from the Idaho side of the great divide in ’07, on which he’d been a passenger once, wide eyed and mystified, rocking in a gentle sway next to his grandmother all the way from Pocatello.

The sun still lazed below the tree line to the east, stalling for more quiet time.

Water so clear, the boy could easily pick out the stone fly nymphs milling around on the bottom of a large backwater remnant of a failed channel reassignment attempted by a heavy spring runoff. He wagered with the only fool handy that this was where that bag of ‘goldies’ originated. Resting on a flat boulder, he sponged in the beauty and mulled over the possibilities at hand and fantasized over the accolades and head pats he’d be getting when he returned with a creel full of trout the color of bon fire.

The itinerant drinker who’d brought those in the day before, after all, had three free congratulatory beers and a shot of whiskey in front of him before his stool even had a chance to feel the heat of his butt!

What a fledgling tadpole, like himself, might get for the same effort, he could only happily conject. People already delighted in rubbing his ‘flat top’ as it was, butch wax slowing no one toward hesitation or even repeat offences. What was it about a tow-headed kid on a bar stool sipping cola, crunching ice cubes and gawping at the clientele that caused such affection?

Twenty feet away, a gangly legged bug skipped across the stillness of the morning and a bright flash of metallic yellow came out of the overhung bank and took it on its third and final skip! More yet appeared as what seemed to be a migration of wings and gangles danced along the surface to get devoured by no less than a dozen Golden Trout. Watching this, he sat dumbfounded by luck and beauty in the same zoology lesson.

He apologized to a worm he was threading onto a #10 hook and cast it well away from the feeding frenzy lest he startle

his quarry back into hiding. From behind bushes, he played his line out along the bank to the dead end of the inlet, where he sat and waited. His worm wiggled excitedly in the cold water and fought for air as hatchlings danced and pranced like little fairies into the wide-open jaws on the surface.

Patience lasted until he noticed his worm taking a nap instead of waving for attention, so he reeled in a little line to draw the night crawler more directly under the noses of his intended catch. The bait wiggled its free end like a come-hither finger out of the loose grey silt. The boy thanked him for the imaginative effort and waited, possibly with a little too much effort.

After a length of time immeasurable to a young boy’s enthusiasm, he began to ponder this unusual brand of trout. Were they possibly near sighted? Not by what he was witnessing! Maybe they were only capable of looking up! Maybe they were hard of smelling! He, after all, couldn’t smell a dang thing under water and he knew for a fact worms had a definite odor as he could still vaguely remember having one or two up his nose back when he was a bit more naïve to that old come-on, ‘double-dare ya’.

Thinking the time appropriate, he began to utter words and phrases he’d been picking up and storing at random from cooks, hairdressers, bartenders, musicians and traveling dingleberries, each explained in living color by his two older brothers who always seemed to be on the cutting edge of new things to learn anyway. Patiently, he considered the meaning of each one just to burn more time, as “time and patience are what it takes to be a successful fisherman,” he’d been instructed over and over again.

This theory hadn’t once seen fit to increase his yields any, if at all.

Patience, however, began thinning out like fog on a hot August wind. “You sonsabeeches blind or WHAT?!” he gave in.

“Pay attention, will ya? Daylight’s burnin’!”

He gave a tug as a trout came by, the worm trying his best to duck this time but the trout took his head off on instinct, rolled it around then spat it out like old bubble gum and went after another hatchling. “What ARE you, a food critic or something?” he

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blurted, vehemence showing its ugly head where pleasant rosy cheeks previously sat.

He reeled in to try a different form of tackle, possibly a miniature depth charge if he had such a thing in his little box of tricks and sinkers.

Fresh out of M-80s, he sifted through a tangle of spinners that might’ve taken all morning to separate had he had nothing better to do, when his recently dewaxed ears—courtesy of another week at grandma’s house—picked up the sounds no one fishing alone cares to hear break the silence in such a serene setting; those of brush and willow being snapped and flattened a short distance away by several hundred pounds of furball behind a pair of dark beady eyes in search of anything resembling protein or needing the crap ripped out of it.

With as much attention to not making a sound as he’d earlier used getting out of bed, he collected his gear, got on his bike and put a solid mile behind him before the drumbeat in his chest slowed below a hundred and twenty per minute.

He sits easily now, writing this memory from fifty odd years ago, a mere fart in the skillet of time, and wonders if those golden beauties are still out there beckoning some young kid’s intentions. He succinctly hopes so as either would be a shame to waste.

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