August 2017 River Journal

Because there’s more to life than bad news

A Newsmagazine Worth Wading Through

Thanks for the memories!

“If my ship sails from sight, it doesn’t mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends”

August, 2017 • FREE

All Seasons Garden & Floral

31831 Hwy 200 Sandpoint Open Daily Monday-Saturday 9 to 6 Closed Sunday 208.265.2944

Trees, Shrubs & Perennials Fruit, evergreen, shade & ornamental!

BUY ONE, GET ONE HALF OFF!* Equal or lesser value. Use by Aug. 31. May not be used with other offers.

Please donate any new fabric or yarn you may have to help support Childhood Cancer. The Bonner County Fair will have a booth set up for fairgoers to help tie blankets and make rag dolls for our hospitals.

If you have any questions pleas feel free to contact Sheena 208-263-8414 or 509-671-6131

Flowering beauties, stately sentinels or flavorful fruits, we’ve got the tree you need!

The Summer Activity Guide Now Available!

Summer activities for kids include:

12th Annual King of the Kongcrete: skate competition at Concrete Skate Park, helmets required. Sat. Aug 19 ON THE COURTS: Gymnastics, rhythmics and acrosports, ages 6-18, reg. deadline Aug. 30.

Men’s volleyball, Women’s volleyball, reg. by Sept 8 IN THE WOODS: Walk 7B, Walk with Jane and summer hiking for teens, 8:30-9:30 am IN THE FIELD: Co-ed youth flag football, reg. by Sept 5. Coed youth volleyball, reg. by Oct. 2. Sandpoint Soccer Asso, practices begin Sept 11 Stop by City Hall to pick up your copy of the guide, or browse through it online.

NEW THIS YEAR: REGISTER ONLINE! www.SandpointIdaho.gov 208-263-3613 • 1123 Lake St. in Sandpoint • Scholarships available

WE SET THE STANDARD View or download our weekly sale ad at

Super1Foods.net

SAVE MORE every week with our mobile app!

And always

Custom design and repairs by Karl & Jason Special Pricing on Monthly Birthstones

Sayer’s Jewelers Inside the Bonner Mall in Ponderay. Open 7 days a week.

208.263.0010

just text to

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In Sandpoint at 624 Larch St.

208.255.2417

In Bonners Ferry at 6452 Main

208.267.4000

208-290-5947 Cord Wood Lake House in Bayview fully furnished, well insulated and truly unique and special. Custom designed, incredible views and just 100 steps down to the water. Two spots to dock, two-tiered deck, shed and shared well. $410,000 20171687 West side of Gold Mtn. End of road privacy on this wilderness paradise. Custom-built home with sunny rooms and panoramic views. Detached garage with a shop and guest quarters/art studio upstairs. 36 +/acres. $1,485,000 20171242 Ready made farm in Clark Fork. 4-stall barn, fenced pasture, lots of outbuildings plus a 4 bedroom 2 bath home on 5 private acres.

Mountain views, terrific privacy plus BBQ pit volleyball court and horsehoe pit. What more do you need? Adjacent parcel is also for sale. $249,000 20172514 Five acres in Clark Fork. Two detached garages, multiple outbuildings and a single wide on a great piece of acreage offering peace and privacy. $110,000 20172516 20 +/- acres in Sagle. with easy access to Round Lake. Road is well maintained through the HOA, and the views are fabulous.

Power and phone to property line. Granite outcroppings throughout the parcel. Peaceful and quiet, yet not far from Sandpoint. $129,000 20171152

Call Carol Curtis Asso. Broker, GRI, Realtor

208-290-5947 Page

August 2017

A News Magazine Worth Wading Through ~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 2656 Sandpoint, ID 83864 www.Facebook.com/RiverJournal (Webpage under redesign) 208.255.6957 • 208.266.1112 RiverJournalIdaho@gmail.com

STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility

Trish Gannon • trishgannon@gmail.com

Ministry of Truth & Propaganda

Jody Forest • reach him in the great beyond

Sales & Other Stuff

David Broughton• 208.290.6577 • davidcbroughton@gmail.com

“We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash.

509.534.3625

Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2017. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho.

The River Journal is printed on 40 percent recycled paper with soy-based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.

THE RIVER JOURNAL • August 2017 •

6. WILDERNESS VS ROADLESS. Why wilderness supporters believe roadless designation is not sufficient.

6. DON’T BE A SCOTE. Channeling JJ Scott, a reminder that you don’t get to waste the wildlife that belongs to all of us. TRISH GANNON 7. TIES THAT DIVIDE. The River Journal was always about connection. Let’s keep it that way. TRISH GANNONPOLITICALLY INCORRECT 8. A LOOK BACK IN PICTURES. A visual collection from the last 24 years.

10. TWENTY QUESTIONS. The 20 questions you (or David) always wanted answered about the River Journal. DAVID KEYES - AS I SEE IT 12. MILESTONES. The last quarter century featured several markers along the way. ERNIE HAWKS - THE HAWK’S NEST 14. LET’S GO SPISHING. Mike leaves you with the secret of how to call birds... really. MIKE TURNLUND - A BIRD IN HAND

15. PARKINSON’S IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE. A.C. says that Parkinson’s Disease won’t go away, and will get worse, but there’s still much to look forward to. A.C. WOOLNOUGH - ALL SHOOK UP 16. TAKE A WALK IN A REALLY WILD PLACE. Sandy visits familiar territory as he reminds us of the benefits in finding the wild. SANDY COMPTON - THE SCENIC ROUTE 18. A POLITICAL RAMBLE. Presidential stumbles, health insurance, a plug for democrats and Keough announces retirement. GIL BEYERHERE IN THE MIDDLE 10. ONE NIGHT IN BONNERS FERRY. Larry returns for an encore with some spooky “northern” lights.

LAWRENCE FURY - IN THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS 14. LEFTOVERS. Pay attention to what you do with your leftover dynamite.

SCOTT CLAWSON - ACRES N’ PAINS

Cover photo: The river fluctuates, but remains a steady presence, as do the communities that live along it. Photo by Trish Gannon

THANK YOU

To the readers, writers, advertisers and businesses who distributed our publication for making 24 years of the River Journal possible!

August 2017

Page

ROADLESS VS. WILDERNESS In the ongoing debate regarding official wilderness designation for the Scotchman Peaks area, a number of people have asked why its designation as a “roadless” area isn’t sufficient protection.

To understand the difference, a 31page portion of U.S. law, “Special Areas; Roadless Area Conservation; Final Rule” offers some answers. (Search online for 36 CFR Part 294.)

These pages walk the reader through the process by which these decisions about roadless areas were made, exactly what those decisions are, the reasoning behind them and directly answers many public concerns. There are many activities allowed in roadless areas including mining (subject to the General Mining Law of 1872), logging, grazing, mountain biking and motorized use.

There are major differences between a designated wilderness and a roadless area. To quote the document (page 7): “The Roadless Area Conservation rule, unlike the establishment of wilderness areas, will allow a multitude of activities including motorized uses, grazing, and oil and gas development that does not require new roads to continue in inventoried roadless areas.”

It also allows logging.

For supporters of the proposed wilderness designation of Scotchman Peaks, these allowed activities don’t ensure that the area we see today will be preserved for future generations.

Those who would prefer to see these type of activities in the area will be satisfied with simple “Roadless” management.

Aug. 18 • 6:30 pm at Lakeview Park

The Princess Bride

A free “Movie in the Park” sponsored by the Bonner County History Museum, Sandpoint Parks and Rec, and Pine Street Dental

Page

HEY, NEWCOMERS! As JJ would say... don’t be a scrote with our local wildlife!

I

t’s possible to find anything on Facebook these days, but what’s always stunning is finding people who celebrate their flagrant violation of the law.

Case in point: the post pictured above. As our former Fish and Game Warden JJ Scott would have said: what a scrote!

If you’re new to the area, or even if you’ve been here for a while and don’t come from a family background of hunting, let me share with you Idaho’s laws on this type of behavior; specifically, Idaho Code Title 36 (Fish and Game) Chapter 11 (Protection of Animals and Birds) 1101 (Taking of Wildlife Unlawful...Methods prohibited) #7 (Regulation of Dogs) Subsection B: Any person who is the owner of, or in possession of, or who harbors any dog found running at large and which is actively tracking, pursuing, harassing or attacking, or which injures or kills deer or any other big game animal within this state shall be guilty as provided in section 36-1401(a)1.(F), Idaho Code.

It shall be no defense that such dog or dogs were pursuing said big game animals without the aid or direction of the owner, possessor, or harborer.

“Within the state” includes your own property, by the way.

The wildlife of this state is a major asset of its people and you as an individual have no right to deplete that asset outside of the guidelines set by the state. Our hunters understand that; our non-hunting yet responsible citizens understand that; scrotes think they can do whatever they want.

As for the poster above: the account obviously uses a fake name, but other information makes it clear the person is relatively new to the area, lives in Washington state (where this activity is also illegal), and demonstrates a level of ‘scrotiness’ that accounts for much local opposition to newcomers.

You think it’s so great here that you want to live here, too? Then show some respect. Don’t just assume that because we are a rural area, you can do whatever it is you please.

But go right ahead and continue to post your disrespect for our way of life on Facebook. There are plenty of us here who are willing to make sure you suffer the consequences of doing so.

Yes, the person who made that post has been reported to the relevant authorities in Washington state.

-Trish Gannon

August 2017

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

THE TIES THAT DIVIDE

by Trish Gannon • trishgannon@gmail.com When Dennis Nicholls started the River Journal back in December of 1993, his vision was one of connectedness.

To be totally truthful, maybe that vision didn’t come right at the beginning, but it came so soon after that the time now blurs in my mind.

Dennis believed that along this beautiful watershed where we all live, we the people had much in common. So much, in fact, that those commonalities would override the oftentimes artificial and arbitrary designations that served to divide: geographical boundaries, city and county limits, political affiliations, education levels, state lines, and even the amount of money that rested within our pockets. Those differences, he felt, were minor compared to what we all shared: a love of community and of these wild places we call home.

Throughout the years, various people joined the River Journal train and, for the most part, they agreed with that initial vision of a people united—including me, when I came on board in early 1994.

Twenty-four years later, that belief has become somewhat battered, but still holds, even if only in hope.

When European peoples first began to settle in numbers in this area in the 1800s, I’m sure the natives who frequented this place felt some dismay.

That dismay has been shared by the ‘locals’ with each successive influx of immigrants since; most recently, the back-to-the-landers in the 70s, the ‘survivalists’ fleeing the disaster of Y2K (remember that one?) and now, today, what’s been termed the Redoubters, though very few people seem to identify themselves by that name. Somehow, in the past, the locals of each of those times came to a place of peace with the new arrivals until those new arrivals, in turn, became ‘locals,’ gazing with dismay at the next bunch of new arrivals.

Despite our differences, people came together to accomplish the goals of their communities: to build libraries and better schools, to protect and

conserve wildlife and wild places; to send classical music soaring over Lake Pend Oreille and to preserve a historic theater, to provide opportunities for youngsters, and even to find a place to park in downtown Sandpoint.

I have to believe that, as we experience the growing pains of adjusting to our latest influx of newcomers, that we can do that again.

If you find yourself frequently ‘against’ a particular group of people, take the time to get to know some of them and I guarantee you will find common ground to build on. After all, not many come here for the money and they certainly don’t stay for it—they come for the place, and maintaining that place is surely something we can all agree on.

As the River Journal moves on to the next phase in its life—even though I don’t know yet what that next phase will be—I hope we have helped, in some small way through the years, to point out to you what is so good about our communities and the people who live in them, why it’s important to preserve those qualities, and to show with our words how very much we all have in common. We haven’t always been perfect, but for all 24 of those years the people who write in these pages have been people who love it here, who give of their time, their wallets and their hearts to support the activities, causes and events of this handful of communities, and of the people who never just “think they can,” but know they can, and prove it by doing it.

The Indian-American astronaut Kalpana Chawla once wrote that arguing is “like being in the whirlpools which are always present behind a little rock near a river. We seem to be living in these little whirlpools and forget that there is a whole river. The picture is much bigger.”

Thank you for the opportunity you gave us for the last two-and-a-half decades to help to paint that fuller picture.

August 2017

SEPTEMBER 6th = Pints for a Cause at Idaho Pour Authority SEPTEMBER 16th = Brad Upton Comedy show (& silent auction) SEPTEMBER 24th = Highway Clean Up First three weekends of October = Scarecrow Contest at Hickey Farms Find specific details on our facebook page or give us a call!

AMERICAN HERITAGE WILDLIFE FOUNDATION

is an Idaho 501c3 that supports injured and orphaned local wildlife.

Learn more at AHWF.org 208.266.1488

MOVING IN OR MOVING OUT, DRESS YOUR PROPERTY UP WITH ANNIE’S ORCHARD

Flowers, trees and shrubs.

We have annuals, perennials, ornamentals and a wide selection of hanging baskets.

Plus gravel for the driveways, and bark for the flower beds.

We have sand, gravel, beauty rock and bark patio stone for all your weekend projects.

Visit our web site at anniesorchard.com Open Monday - Saturday 8am to 5pm

Sunday 9am to 3pm

THANKS, RIVER JOURNAL— WE’LL MISS YOU!

Annie’s Orchard

Hwy 200 1 mile west of Clark Fork

208-266-1245 Page

Bobbi Kassel took TRJ founder Dennis Nicholls out to visit Sullivan Springs for a report on the Kokanee spawn.

Reporting had its perks.

Dennis died in 2009.

Darth Vader and a Storm Trooper reading the River Journal - honestly, how cool is that?

CMDR Paul A Skarpness and Noah Huston had their River Journal on a nuclear submarine somewhere out in the Pacific—where, exactly, was classified information, and no one leaked.

For a decade the River Journal, here represented by Trish and Ernie, wrote and performed a news skit in the Follies, an annual fundraiser for Angels Over Sandpoint.

Byron and Myra Lewis on a beach in Cabo San Lucas—gotta love that t-shirt.

Marianne Love and Jody, working on behalf of veterans.

It was always a thrill to see the River Journal, in any of its iterations, moving through that giant web press.

River Journal Christmas Party, 2003 The first time someone sent a picture with the River Journal was when Jacquie Albright got this shot with members of the Peruvian Army back in 2002.

For many years, the River Journal decorated a tree for the Kinderhaven Festival of Trees. Above, Dennis Nicholls helps place ornaments on a fishingthemed tree that featured live fish.

Trish & Ernie

2001 River Journal Christmas Party, 2006. Many years prior to his diagnosis with Parkinson’s Disease, at that time A.C. Woolnough was writing about his adventures as a principal in Alaska.

At Burning Man

Paul Rechnitzer, Marianne Love, Sandy Compton and Boots Reynolds, all accomplished writers who shared their talent with the River Journal. Paul died in January this year; Boots died in July 2013.

Gayle and Ray Wright, in Nepal

The River Journal Dec. 1993 to Aug. 2017

Gary Payton took the River Journal to Moscow, Russia’s Red Square.

The River Journal crew launched the magazine version in 2008.

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Well, not quite, but Cheri and Bob Loosemore did go 80 feet deep in the West Indies.

2002

Every winter that Jody Forest lived in Dover, he would dress up as Santa and deliver the River Journal to every doorstep.

Jody died in 2016.

For around 5 years, various crews would hand deliver the River Journal to almost every home in Sandpoint city limits.

2005 It was hard for a Bears fan to take when Scott Johnson and his son took the River Journal to Lambeau Field.

Despite how it might look in the photo, rarely was delivery a lot of fun. Two states, four counties, 14 communities and a LOT of driving.

Matt Davidson took the River Journal to the South Pole in 2004. It has been there another five times since.

Marianne Love, wearing both River Journal and Sandpoint Magazine ‘hats,’ took the paper to Rivendell... otherwise known as New Zealand.

Bikers prepare to embark on the Vermillion River Challenge, an extreme bike race put on by the River Journal for a few years.

Everyone always believed we fought, but David Keyes and I always got along.

L. Cpl. Andrew Compton and Cpl. Brad Forker took the River Journal with them to Iraq.

Over the years, several cameras died in the pursuit of water pictures.

It was always a ‘family’ business. The grandson helping to deliver, along with Tana Smith and Misty Grage, just graduated high school

Few people knew that in 1999, Dennis was the Santa Claus for downtown Sandpoint

TWENTY QUESTIONS FOR 24 YEARS of THE RIVER JOURNAL

by David Keyes • davidkeyes09@gmail.com

Editor’s Note: It seems a bit odd to me to be interviewed for my own publication, and when David first asked me to, I turned him down. But he said he thought the memory of 24 years of the River Journal should be documented. Plus, I always made it a practice to let my columnists decide the topics of their columns, and there’s no sense in changing that now. TG

I

n the August edition of The River Journal, publisher Trish Gannon announced this edition would be it. Done. Finito. –30–.

Since December of 1993, an eclectic group of people have cobbled together a unique blend of advocacy journalism, straight news reporting, biting commentary and a cartoon nearly every month. Ms. Gannon has been a part of that since early in 1994.

She is a force of nature and the RJ many times reflected that.

Q. Why shutter the River Journal?

A. It’s time. For many years we filled an important niche in our area, particularly in our rural communities. Now there are a lot of publications doing the same thing, and the Internet (primarily Facebook) is the way many people prefer

to get their news, which doesn’t pay the printing bill.

Q. What are you going to do now?

A. Work. I’m editing Sandpoint Magazine, am working on a couple of books, and will continue to write when stories grab my interest and hope to find someone to publish the same.

Q. Most proud moment?

A. Too many to pick just one. There was the phone call from the U.S. Department of Education calling to congratulate me on the story “Science Chicks of Clark Fork” (12 Oct 2002); when we wrote stories about charitable programs that generated large donations for them; the time then Rep. George Eskridge told me the head of Idaho’s National Forests ran into George at the capitol building and mentioned how much he enjoyed George’s columns; when I would refill racks and people would come up and tell me how they’d been waiting for the new issue to come out; when people would call and ask us to do a story on something because they thought we were the ones who would do it best.

Q. Saddest moment?

A. A two-week period in 2009 when three people important to me died: Dennis Nicholls, who founded the River

Journal; Dick Wentz, a friend who was also an employee of TRJ for a few months; and Carole Eldridge, the office manager for Keokee Publishing who got roped into becoming a part-time, informal and unpaid secretary for the River Journal.

Q. Best story?

A. You’re kidding, right? There were thousands of them. Sandy Compton wrote “Growing Up Wild” (Oct. 2005), a story that epitomizes the best of the local lifestyle; I’ve always loved that one. Dennis wrote about the murder of his sister and his mother’s astounding forgiveness of the murderer (May 1998, “Clouds in the Hallway”). Ernie’s story, “Building a Shed” (May 2012), which epitomizes this area’s can-do spirit, made me laugh out loud. Anything Marylyn Cork wrote about local history. And I’ve always had a soft spot for one of the first non-school stories I wrote, about former U.S. Senator (and Clark Fork resident) Comp White Jr. (“To Thine Own Self Be True,” Aug. 1995). And while it wasn’t the best story we ever published, one of my favorite headlines went with a story in July 1997 on the newly hired Noxon school superintendent who disappeared in the middle of the night to go back to the southwest and serve out a prison term he had been sentenced to, unbeknownst to those who had hired him. My headline read: “Say it ain’t so, Joe!” Q. Biggest waste of space?

A. Any story about people running for office. Even when it’s people I like. Every politician basically says vote for me because I’m honest, brave, faithful, and true. There’s not much variation there.

Ben Silverman (on right, with Trish Gannon on left) was the inspiration behind the title “Calm Center of Tranquility.” This photo was taken in 2000, at the grand opening of the “new” library on Cedar St. Then library director Wayne Gunter is in the middle.

Page 10

Q. Biggest local boosters?

A. Everyone. I’ve always felt the River Journal got tremendous support from all sorts of places.

Q. Biggest pains in the ass?

A. A couple people I won’t name here, and businesses that want to pack a full page of information into a business card-sized ad.

August 2017

The Way I See It David Keyes is the former publisher of three North Idaho newspapers.

Q. Most commented on column or story?

A. The greatest public response was to one of three: when I counted truck traffic downtown (“Sandpoint’s Got an Axle to Grind,” July 2003), when I wrote about whether local cops were overreaching in their zeal to catch drunk drivers (“Is Law Enforcement Out of Control,” Feb. 2003) which got me labeled “officer unfriendly,” I’ve been told, in the law enforcement files; or a story I wrote about the school district as run by Steve Battenschlag (“The More Things Change,” June 2002). A couple good years there.

Q. Ever get sued? Threatened?

A. Some threatened law suits (two, I think), but nothing ever filed. I’ve also gotten a few death threats.

Q. Biggest struggle you had to overcome to print an issue?

A. Back when we were printing in Ronan, Montana, we would head out there about 3 am with our blue line, wait for the issue to be printed, then begin delivery on the way back. Ernie Hawks took the 24 July 2002 issue, and when he arrived in Ronan he called to tell me that our printer had been bought out by Lee Newspapers and shut down.

I began calling printers and ended up sending Ernie to Kalispell with that one.

It turned into a pretty long day. It did, however, lead us to Griffin Publishing, the best printers around, so that cloud ended up with a very silver lining.

Q. Deepest observation about life here?

A. I’m not that wise. I do like Dorie’s advice in “Finding Nemo”: just keep swimming…

Q. Any motto or poster on the wall that motivates you?

A. We ran a quote in every issue for the last decade or so: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” To balance

that, I have one on the wall that reads: “Nothing is more productive than the last minute.” Also, my dad always told me, “If you’re not gonna use your head, you might as well have two assholes.”

Q. A secret I learned a long time ago was to always ask at the end of an interview is if there’s something you would like to say that I did not ask you about?

A. Ha! That’s how I always end an interview, too. But I would like to say this: I am honored and thankful at the way this area supported the River Journal through the years—the readers, the writers, the businesses who spent money with us. I have been a very lucky girl. My mother always told me that I would never make a living as a writer, and she was right. But what she didn’t know was it didn’t matter… because I could (and did) make a life.

Q. What is the future of newspapers like the RJ? Reader? Bee? Review?

A. I wish I knew.

Q. When we first met, you and your mom were showing up at school board meetings and asking all sorts of questions and causing problems.

Remember those days?

A. Of course. I also remember walking into K-Mart one day and running into a certain school board member who yelled, quite loudly, “I hate you AND I hate your mother!”

Twenty questions at $10 a question.

My job is done here.

Q. Where did Calm Center of Tranquility come from?

A. We had hired Ben Silverman to cover arts and entertainment and, in a radio interview, he said he was excited to work with me because I was such a ‘live wire.’ Afterward, I told him I saw myself more as the calm center of tranquility at the heart of the River Journal. Dennis thought that was pretty funny and that was my title from that point on. I guess maybe my public image is not as tranquil as I’d like to think. So Calm Center of Tranquility is a goal, not a description.

Q. What is “the other David” Broughton going to with his time now?

A. Same thing he did before—watch old television shows. :) Honestly… he refs both softball and volleyball and stays pretty busy with that.

Q. What would it take to have you change your mind?

A. A vision of a needed role for the River Journal to fill and the resources to make that goal come to fruition. And discovering the Fountain of Youth.

Q. What has been the biggest change in your coverage area since you first started publishing in 1993?

A. Well, we expanded into more communities, obviously. More bothersome to me, however, is that as individuals in North Idaho, most people seemed to be strongly committed to their communities, to their neighbors.

Anymore, it seems like most people are only committed to themselves.

August 2017

T

rish Gannon was born in Chicago in 1962 and for the next 25 years moved around the country and the world. The 37 different home addresses of that time encompassed four countries, seven states and 12 communities—a greater range than even the River Journal’s distribution. After the birth of her second child in 1987, (that’s Dustin, who has written frequently in these pages) she moved to North Idaho, first living in Elmira, then on the lower Pack, and finally Clark Fork after the birth of her third child, “because I wanted my children in the best schools in the county,” she said. She remained in Clark Fork until the fall of 2016 when, after the death of her brother Joe (River Journal columnist Jody Forest) and her mother, who both lived with her there, she moved to Sandpoint to be with ‘the other David,’ the love of her life.

She didn’t go to college until just a few years ago. Before coming to Idaho she worked at a variety of jobs, including waitressing, nuclear security, and a memorable stint selling Genuine Imitation Arkansas Diamond Dirt, which she wrote about in the March 2009 issue (“Want to Buy Some Dirt?”). She has been writing stories since the third grade.

Page 11

MILESTONES:

A stone marker, or turning point

by Ernie Hawks • ernestmhawks@gmail.com

O

... at times, (writing) felt like a joyous opportunity, while at other times the deadlines were looming over what felt like an empty brain...

Page 12

ur lives are filled with the events that compile our life experience and change and mold who we are and how we progress on our life journey.

When we reach one, we usually know it because the event has a significant impact on our life. They are also brimming over with emotion from a highly joyful experience to the depth of sadness and grief. This summer has two of those markers for me. One, very joyful and the other bittersweet.

Alice was across the field and to the top of the climbing wall before I was out of the car. Lucy, with shorter and younger legs, was close behind. It was time for GrandmaGrandpa summer camp.

They knew about “Bucky,” their play area, which was the draw, but the wall was new. We had not told them about it so it could be a surprise.

While it may sound like a retreat for senior citizens, there really is a camp for grandkids at grandma’s and grandpa’s place. It was our first full week with just the kids and we planned to make the most of it. As did the girls’ parents, but that is another story.

It was another milestone. Even before the girls were born, we had conversations with Ana and Noah (their parents) about having an annual summer camp at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s. We had been looking forward to it since their births and now, with the girls ages 6 and 3, and their home on this side of the continent for a change (Dad’s in the Navy), everything was a go.

On the first day Linda had to go to town so the little ones and I took advantage of many colors, textures and shapes of wild flower. Each one created a bouquet for Grandma.

“I want a red one!” “Oh, look at this yellow one!” were the squeals of delight as they foraged through our woods looking for the perfect flowers. As Lucy reached for a “pretty purple one” I intervened. It was a Russian Thistle and I didn’t want to have the joy diminished because of an “owie” from a thistle. We found another “pretty purple one.”

Throughout the week a train was made with the lawn mower and various trailers and wagons from around the place.

The train made a trip on one of the trails into the woods. Big ant hills were examined and nearly as many questions about ant as there were ants were posed. Few were answered, but many posed. A robin’s nest was spotted and a chickadee was seen going into a hole in an old snag. They recognized deer tracks and scat even though this is the only place they see them. (I think.)

Aunt Carol came and some arts and crafts took them out of the hot sun and under the umbrella on the deck. It was a good memory-making time for all.

Throughout the week there were conversations about what we

August 2017

could do at next year’s Grandma and Grandpa’s summer camp.

A camping trip became a big part of the week. On the first day, they braved the hot sun on a south slope and dug for fossils. One good leaf was found and an exciting new experience was had.

Back in camp a log became a “balance beam.” It was traversed many times between hikes around the summer forest.

Early the next day a half mile hike was made to a garnet dig.

They learned how to dig, sift, sluice, and dump tailings. About an ounce of minerals was extracted for them to take home.

Driving home past Coeur d’Alene Lake the temperature prompted a stop. After a good hour, an ice cream shop was visited before heading back to our woods.

The week was a joyful milestone we all have looked forward to and we plan to do it again.

A

nother milestone in the life of Linda and I will be the end of the River Journal with this issue, at least as a monthly. The first issue I worked with TRJ was a couple days after 9/11, talk about a milestone! So, for the last 17 years it was not just a job and a regular deadline, but a force to keep me writing, and a connection with friends.

Our crew of writers spurred each other’s creativity and we shared milestones with each other including weddings, births and the inevitable deaths of family members and friends. While we were miles apart, there was also a sense of community and support.

The River Journal provided an opportunity for me to write about our travels using planes, trains, automobiles, river rafts and by foot. I have written about our wedding, my stepdaughter’s wedding and the births of two granddaughters.

At times, it felt like a joyous opportunity, while at other times the deadlines were looming over what felt like an empty brain desperately searching for something to write.

I want to express my gratitude to Trish for seeing my potential to write. For encouraging, cajoling and sometimes riding me for deadlines and stories. Without my River Journal Experience, I don’t think I would ever have published my book.

Some milestones, like the first camp with Grandparents, are a beginning and eagerly anticipated. Others may feel like an ending, yet will be part of our lives forever as is every experience we have. Just as every column I have put in this magazine was an earlier event, publishing it let me reexperience it and further explore how it had impacted me, physically, emotionally and spiritually. In fact, relive the experience I was writing about at a new level as I shared it through words, bringing it to life again for me and the reader.

And like all mileposts in our lives we must honor their value and lessons and still move on, wondering what will we create or happen upon on our journey that will be our next memory.

While I know I will always be a grandpa, sometimes I wonder if it is time to retire. But I know a writer never gets to re-tire, just re-write.

August 2017

The Hawk’s Nest

Ernie Hawks is the author of “Every Day is a High Holy Day: Stories of an Adventuring Spirit,” available on Amazon, Kindle or in your favorite bookstore.

Page 13

T

his is the final column of “A Bird In Hand,” so I thought I’d leave you with some practical advice: how to call birds to you. Or, at the very least, get them to hang out for a few moments so you can check them out with your binoculars and to turn a probable species identification into a definitive one. Even better, maybe even give yourself enough time to get a photograph.

The practice of calling birds is itself called spishing. There are other terms used in the various birding venues that you’ll find on the Internet, but I like the phonetic label. Plus, it will help you to remember what sound to make: spish!

What is spishing? It is making a sound that, for some reason, attracts birds. Birds are actually intelligent creatures and curiosity is a quality of intelligence. The spishing sound will cause birds to come to you. They’re curious as to what is making this strange sound. Be warned; once they see you they’ll leave. Their curiosity will be satisfied. But using this call can make a fleeing bird into an attracted bird—attracted to the sound.

Spishing does not work on all species of birds. But it does seem to work effectively with many passerines species: you know, those beautiful little song birds that you spend most of your time and energy trying to identify.

Ducks and geese respond, too. I’ve even used it successfully with deer!

LET’S GO SPISHING! The trick to calling birds

by Mike Turnlund • mturnlund@gmail.com You can employ spishing when you want startled birds to return to you for viewing. For example, you are stumbling through a stand of bushes, trying to get near a bird that you can’t see but you can hear it singing. As you approach you see it momentarily and then it’s gone—poof!—-flittering away from you to escape. But you can stop that bird in its tracks, even encourage it to return, by spishing. Similarly, you can approach a selected stand of trees or other likely habitat and then spish to see what happens to be hiding out. As you make the appropriate sounds, birds seem to appear out of nowhere. It is remarkably effective. It will also cause many derisive looks from other nearby folks who wonder what the heck you’re doing.

Spishing is relatively easy, but it does take practice. Loudly and with zeal make the spish sound, spish, spish, spish. Once you’re sure of the basic sound, you then need to add the more difficult part: flapping your lips. You know, how you make the sound of a boat motor. Very entertaining for kids!

Combine the spish sound with a lip flap (the implosive) on the letter “p” sound and you’re set: sPish, sPish, sPish. Yes, it sounds ridiculous, but it does work.

Try it out. You’ll be surprised at how well it works. Be warned, though, that the effects are momentary. But adding spishing to your repertoire of other birding basics will go a long way in increasing the number of definitive identifications you will make.

Lastly, I want to thank Trish Gannon for the opportunity she has given me to share my love of birding with you readers. I wrote my first column of “A Bird In Hand” for the August 2008 issue of the River Journal and it has been a wonderful ride the past nine years. I mean, what can be more fun than to write about birds!? Trish, you’re the best!

Readers can continue to contact me with bird questions at my email address: mturnlund@gmail.com

A Bird in Hand

Do you love birds, and want to know more? Check out Mike’s bird photos, online at birdsidaho. blogspot.com.

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August 2017

PARKINSON’S IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE

by A.C. Woolnough • acwooly@gmail.com

The myth (belief?) that a swan sings just before death is thousands of years old. Today, it is considered a metaphor for a final act or performance before death, or, thank goodness, retirement.

This column is my swan song for The River Journal after three years of sharing my Parkinson’s journey with you, the reader.

Before I make my final remarks, I want to acknowledge the incredible accomplishment of Trish Gannon in keeping this publication going for so many years. Although I don’t know her well on a personal basis, I do know that she is a tireless, dedicated and passionate publisher, journalist, citizen and human being. I want to thank Trish for giving me the opportunity to share facts, thoughts and feelings to educate, advocate and promote research with regards to Parkinson’s Disease. Who would have thought “A Newsmagazine Worth Wading Through” would provide such a forum? I’m glad it did.

As the River Journal rides off into the sunset, I’d like to remind readers that each of us has our own story and carries our own burdens. For some, like an amputee, the issues are more visible. For others, the situation may

be more psychological or without outwardly visible signs. Nevertheless, the pain, trauma and difficulties are just as real. You never really know what another person is experiencing. Without meaning to be trite, I’m reminded of the song by Bryan Ferry (and made famous

by Elvis Presley): And before you abuse Criticize and accuse Walk a mile in my shoes

All Shook Up A.C. Woolnough is a member of PDF’s People with Parkinson’s Advisory Council Speaking of walking, I am going on a 50-mile hike along the Pacific Crest Trail near Lake Chelan in late August along with about eight other Parkies (people with PD). I got roped into this by my doctor who thought it “might be fun.”

At first, it did sound like fun. It’s another opportunity to increase awareness about PD. But, as the calendar advances, I am getting more concerned. I haven’t backpacked for over 30 years; I haven’t slept on the ground in over a decade; I

haven’t walked up and down mountains for 50 miles ever. Fortunately, we do have pack animals to carry some of our gear. We’re each allowed 25 pounds to be carried by, wait for it…. a llama. I hope we never find out what a Pacific Northwest bear thinks of a South American ungulate! For more information go to passtopass.org. I had planned to report on that journey in a later column, but then this swan song business got in the way.

I’ve given much thought to what I hope readers have learned over the past 25 or so columns. First, PD is more than a movement disorder; there are dozens of non-motor symptoms as well. Second, scientific research is critical and it is vital that we support funding for Parkinson’s and other neurological disorders. Finally, although PD is chronic (it isn’t going away) and progressive (it is going to get worse), it is NOT a death sentence. While this may be my swan song, it is only the final act before retirement from The River Journal.

Trish Gannon—thank you. Your newsmagazine will be missed and our lives will all be a little poorer without it.

45

th

Arts and Crafts Fair at Sandpoint’s City Beach

Aug. 12-13 • 9am to 4pm Artist Vendors • Food Vendors • Summer Performance Series • Youth Art Area (12 & Under, $5 admission to cover the cost of supplies)

CRAFTS • KOOZIES • QUILTS • VINEGARS • MAKE-UP

UPCYCLED ARTWORK • SCUPTURES • and MORE!

CERAMICS • FIBER • GLASS • JEWELRY • METAL • FINE ART • WOODWORK • SOAPS • SIGNS • TREATS • HONEY ANTLER

OUTDOOR PRODUCTS • SPORTING GOODS • SOFT TOYS • SEASONINGS • HERBAL BODY PRODUCTS •

August 2017

Page 15

TAKE A WALK IN A REALLY WILD PLACE Park your machine, get off your butt, and give yourself—and the planet—a break

O

by Sandy Compton • sandy@bluecreekpress.com

ver the past two decades, I’ve submitted 257 columns to The River Journal, 11 of them which ran twice, for an overall total of 268 appearances. My first column appeared in January 1997, so August 2017 marks 20.667 years of The Scenic Route, a baker’s dozen per year. For a couple of years in the early going, The River Journal came out bi-monthly, and in the late going, only seven times a year, which accounts for the 13-issue average.

I have the great majority of them, but I don’t have all of them, which makes me wonder what I might have said in March of 1998 or November of 2006. I also missed one issue—but only one.

Not a bad batting average—.996, close to perfect but not quite, which actually

is perfect, for I have come to believe that perfection is a state of stagnation.

Great weavers of the world often put a flaw in their rugs and baskets as a nod to that idea, and also so as not to offend the gods—who are perfect in the sight of the faithful. I guess I am not so faithful as I once was, for I have also come to believe that not even God is perfect. If She is, why would we live in an imperfect universe?

In the 20.667 years of The Scenic Route, an over-arching theme has been that we live on a beautiful planet and we will be better off if we slow down and enjoy the view. And, that it is critical to the health of the planet and its plants and creatures—including us—that we learn to do this.

Members of Friends of Scotchman

Peaks Wilderness trail crew and I just came off of three days working on the new-old Spar Lake Trail #143-A in Montana. When it’s finished, it will provide a lovely walk along the south shore of Spar, braided with the boundary of the recommended Scotchman Peaks Wilderness. On the scale of the landscape and the scope of the trail, what we accomplished—about 1,800 feet out of 3.5 miles of new tread—seems somewhat insignificant and certainly imperfect, but our Forest Service partner Ben—a trail dog through and through—told the crew that they do awesome work. When a guy who’s been building and maintaining trails every work season for about the same time that The River Journal has been in existence tells my crew that they do awesome work, it’s a five-star day in my life.

Photo by Marjolein Groot Nibbelink Page 16

August 2017

LAUGH UNTIL YOU CRY

The Scenic Route The Scenic Route is also a book collecting many of the best of Sandy Compton’s essays. It and his other book are available at Vanderfords in Sandpoint, The Well Read Moose in Coeur d’ Alene and online at bluecreekpress.com.

Visit his Facebook page at facebook. com/sandycomptonwriter

The trail is designated nonmotorized. No internal combustion machines, thank you. If you wish to use this trail, leave your ride at the trailhead.

Take a walk in stillness. Use the muscles and mind you were issued at birth, and give yourself a chance to hear yourself think. Slow down. Stop. Contemplate the clarity of the lake and how it seems to change color as you move along the tread. Listen for the song of a winter wren in the high branches of a 600year-old cedar tree. Watch young—and rare—red-breasted mergansers practice for their first water takeoff. Park your machine, get off your butt, and give yourself—and the planet—a break.

There is a mindset about wild country—and “the good life”— propagated by our culture and reinforced by the desire and intent of industry to sell us “stuff:” If you don’t have (fill in the blank) you will never survive ‘out there.’ Plus, this (fill in the blank) will make you look really, really, really cool.

If you want to look cool, and want to know how to survive ‘out there,’ turn off the idiotic, contrived bullshit that television feeds us and take a hike in a really wild place where your compass and your map are your best friend because all the electronic gadgets in the world don’t work all the time. That will teach you to think for yourself, maybe.

Or come work a day on a trail crew.

If you think the ORV or motorcycle that the bank assures you that you can afford makes you macho, put 30-plus pounds on your back, grab a Pulaski and try to keep up.

I know that not everybody in the world is willing to do that, but there

(For a good cause!)

are a number of us who are. We want to keep places with no roads, no machines and no threat of such in the foreseeable future. Call us selfish. Call us communists. Call us Agenda 21 advocates. Call us whatever you wish.

What we really are is forward thinking.

We see what industrialized greed and “you-will-look-soooo-cool” advertising has already done to much of the earth, and we wish to set some boundaries, save some spots where humanity is welcome—or at least allowed—but does not hold sway. We are lovers of the planet, and somewhat unconditional lovers at that. We are willing to take the earth as it comes, and not try to bend it completely to our will. We revel in being able to enter a space not disturbed by machines, and challenge ourselves to get by without their assistance.

It’s almost exactly 21 years since Dennis Nicholls tricked me into helping him restart The River Journal—in August of 1996, we confabbed over lunch at the Floating Restaurant in Hope. I believed in the ideas and ideal of Wilderness when I began writing for The River Journal 20-plus years ago, and that belief hasn’t abated, but grown stronger. As the world continues to get crazier and people continue to rush faster, chasing something they know not what, the sacred space of wild country has become more important to me. To walk in the forest—with or without trail-building tools, with or without a backpack ready for days off the grid—is something we can all benefit from; the space and place and opportunity to hear ourselves think. The planet’s life depends on it.

Thanks for reading. See you out on the scenic route.

August 2017

Comedian Brad Upton in a benefit for American Heritage Wildlife Foundation

Sat. Sept 16 • 6 pm Sandpoint Event Center Silent Auction Following

Tickets are $20 and available at Sandpoint Super Drug, Fiddlin’ Reds, Fry Creek Animal Hospital, Monarch Market, North Idaho Animal Hospital and from AHWF

AMERICAN HERITAGE WILDLIFE FOUNDATION

is an Idaho 501c3 that supports injured and orphaned local wildlife.

Learn more at AHWF.org 208.266.1488

Page 17

A Political Ramble

Presidential misdirection, the dog catches the car, a plug for the Democratic party, and Senator Keough announces retirement

by Gil Beyer • 40vintage@gmail.com I’m a political news junkie - watching MSNBC, CNN, Fox News (yes, even that) and listening to NPR. This lets me be an informed citizen. Over the past 8 months I’ve come to a conclusion.

That conclusion is that we are all being bamboozled! We’ve been hoodwinked, flimflammed, conned, defrauded and swindled.

Think about it—this administration came into power by never telling us what they were going to do. It was always, ‘We are going to make America great again’ and ‘It’s going to be the biggest and best (fill in the blank) ever!’

There were NEVER any real proposals made (except for the totally debunked idea of a ‘huge’ wall paid for by Mexico).

The GOP debates last summer quickly turned into to personal attacks, snarky asides and outright Bulls**t from the man that became President. The only candidate that made any attempt to have a discussion on real issues was Ohio Governor John Kasich, and he was never really in the running. He was left to lie in the dust along the campaign trail. People that tried to talk about the issues were drowned out by shouts of ‘Little Mario’ and ‘Lying Ted’ (that may have been true but it didn’t hold a candle to the manure that ‘The Donald’ was spreading).

This is all misdirection. While we are watching the talking heads argue and pontificate about the latest tweets from the White House, he is taking us from a world power to the butt of jokes around the world. His Cabinet is a bunch of incompetent, venal ninnies that are only concerned with getting rid of all those pesky regulations. No consideration is given to the wants and needs of the majority of Americans.

Millions uninsured? Pass it along to the states. Need a safe working environment? That’s not important; Medicaid expansion? Don’t be silly; Public Education? Vouchers will cure all. Remember the Flint, Michigan water fiasco? The EPA is trying to eliminate Page 18

most of the clean drinking water regulations—too burdensome.

On the worldwide stage we have Russia inserting misinformation in our nightly news, meddling in our elections and attempting to hack into the power grid, while ‘The Donald’ says there’s no proof of Russia being responsible and all our intelligence agencies saying the opposite. We’re supposed to believe a proven pathological liar over competent, dedicated professionals.

We are in dismally deep, dark, doggie doo-doo. Speaking of inept, both the House and Senate leadership insist Obama’s Affordable Health Care act is broken beyond repair but in almost eight years has been unable to find a way to improve on it.

Now that they are staying in Washington D.C.—hiding from their constituents —trying to pass a ‘repeal only’ bill, it is even more important to call, email, write or send smoke signals to those cowards who won’t come home to face their voters. Sitting in a closed room breathing the same air as Ted Cruz and Mitch McConnell can cause hypoxia.

Insisting on cutting Medicaid is nonstarter with any Senator from a state with a high percentage of elderly and/or low income voters. Repeal without replacement would mean even more people uninsured (the Congressional Budget Office sets the number at 32 million) than under Obamacare—a giant leap backwards.

The GOP tried for years to get control of the White House, the Senate and the House. They are much like a dog that chases cars. What happens should they actually catch one? Seems to me if you’re going to insist on chasing something, some thought should have been given to what happens if you catch it.

Congress is so fixated on getting a health care bill passed that they have ignored the Constitutional crisis that is brewing in the White House. We have clear violations of the emoluments clause, conflicts of interest by just

Here in the Middle

A retired Navy man, Gil Beyer has been active in local politics.

about every Cabinet member and by all of the President’s extended family with the possible exception of Barron. It is time for Congress to stop ignoring the 800-pound gorilla in the room and start asking serious questions. It is obvious that the very foundations of our country are in danger.

Earlier last month I walked in a 4th of July parade. We were directly behind a mariachi band and a dancing horse.

Almost nobody saw us because that horse and rider were that good! We had to create some space in order for us to be seen. When we were noticed by spectators there were a lot more positive reactions then in the past. That felt good and is a good sign for North Idaho.

Some people from ‘Sandpoint Indivisible’ joined us. They were prevented from joining the parade under their own banner as being too political.

It caused me to wonder why members of groups like ‘Sandpoint Indivisible’ don’t join the Democrats. I believe they have similar goals and agendas and that together it could be a formidable force for change in Idaho and the country.

I have a bumper sticker that reads: “Democratic Party – We’re not perfect but they’re nuts.” The Democrats tent is a whole lot bigger than the GOP’s and is definitely more open to new ideas.

Think it over. In unity there is strength.

Now that Senator Keough has announced her retirement, just who the hell can we respect and support in the legislature? She was the last incumbent that truly did her best for all the people of Idaho. Now don’t get me wrong—I didn’t always agree with everything she did but she at least did her best to be fair and still uphold her principles. I can’t think of another Republican that can be said about.

Since this is my last article for The River Journal I’m going to do something I should have done long ago. Trish, the

August 2017

‘Calm Center of Tranquility,’ my mentor and guide has finally thrown in the towel. She has done her very best to bring some measure of rational thought and good news to North Idaho and western Montana. But the string has run out.

Trish overcame the deaths of her brother and mother and faced the realities of trying to put a quality publication together with limited revenue. Never let it be said that she didn’t try. Month in, month out she built a paper filled with diverse and interesting stories. Those stories ranged for the ridiculous to the sublime. Her most recent regular cast of writers: Scott Clawson, Ernie Hawks, Mike Turnlund, David Keyes and Sandy Compton, wrote as differently in style as could be but all made us think.

Over the almost 15 years that I wrote for Trish I learned a lot: Make sure of your facts; Cite your sources; and always, Give credit for other’s work. We will miss The River Journal but won’t soon forget the lessons learned. Thanks Trish—‘Live Long and Prosper.’

Your eyes may change with time but your lifestyle doesn't have to.

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In the Valley of Shadows One Night in Bonners Ferry

by Lawrence Fury • lawrencefury@hotmail.com A co-worker related to me this account told to him by his girlfriend concerning a bizarre incident that happened years ago when she had been married to her daughter’s father.

One winter night in January of 1989, the woman, her husband and her 4-year-old daughter were all asleep in

“The government spies on us. They say they are watching over us, protecting us. We have never been in more danger... the truth is still out there.”

The X-Files, Fox TV, Season 10

the house on their small ranch a few miles outside of Bonner’s Ferry. All was quiet until the 4-year-old came into her parents’ bedroom.

“Mom?” she queried. After a few moments... “Mom?” Her mother woke up, asking sleepily, “What?”

“There’s something funny outside,” the little girl said. Still half asleep, the mother opened her eyes and saw a brilliant light coming through the bedroom window. “What the hell?” was all that came to mind.

Rousing her then husband, they went to the window and looked up, but all they could see was brilliant light.

Hurrying to the living room for a better view, they looked out the front window and saw... the craft.

rose vertically and quickly disappeared into the winter sky.

Gape-mouthed for a few minutes, there was little to say; the rest of the night passed in a sleepless manner.

There were no apparent after-effects in the days to come. No follow up, no signs, no nothing to indicate something out of the ordinary had happened.

My co-worker’s girlfriend brought the incident up to a friend of hers some time later, but clammed up when the friend began to snicker.

I’m sorry to see the end of the River Journal, but as the old adage says, “All good things must come to an end.” It was fun for me to contribute to this magazine for 4+ years and I do miss it. But I’m still working on the book, so keep watch for it!

Larry

Proud to Provide Environmentally Conscientious Construction and Consultation

208.255.5513 Paul Koch, O.D.

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It seemed to be a circular cap, covering the house completely. Around the rim, first a tracer of red lights, then blue, yellow, green purple and red again.

After what seemed quite some time, though it was less than a minute, the... craft, or whatever, drastically dimmed,

P.O. Box 118 • Hope, Idaho • 208.264.5621

August 2017

Page 19

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Hay’s Chevron Gas • Convenience Store Unofficial Historical Society

Oil Changes Tire Rotation by appointment

208-266-1338

m | Vol 17 No. 18 | November 2008 | Page 5

EVERGREEN REALTY

Curt Hagan

Sales Associate, GRI

321 N. First Ave. - Sandpoint 800.829.6370 208.263.6370 EvergreenRealty.com SchweitzerMountain.com Page 20

On a beautifully humid July 3rd, 1957, Bernard Spitz waltzed his back forty armed with a new shovel, Pulaski and a small bundle of dynamite sticks and fuses wrapped up in an old oily rag. He was blowing stumps from a previous year’s firewood cutting and generally having a great time playing in the dirt while expanding his pasture and making loud noises not only to the delight of his own dog but all of his neighbors’ dogs, as well. Little needs to be mentioned as to the mental state of the resident groundhog population.

Lunchtime rolled up on the sound waves issuing from the homemade iron triangle “dinner bell” hanging right outside the back door of the kitchen and caused his midsection to grumble loudly, interrupting his routine as he stuck a fuse in the last stick.

Growling in response through the mountains around him, early summer thunder was making the sensitive hairs perk up around his profusely sweating neck. Vowing to return, he wrapped the one lonely remaining stick with a fuse attached in the oily old rag, and stuck it in one of the big back pockets of his work overalls as he sauntered on back to the house for vittles. Feeling a sudden, light over-all tingle himself, he thought of maybe grabbing a little afternoon delight with his missus in the form of a rousing game of winnertake-all Scrabble before going back to blowing stumpage. This made him smile even though he was packing explosives within the audible range of a thunderstorm. But this was way before such things as smart phones and apps that tell you when you’re about to get hit by lightning and what, if anything, you might want to do about it, so he was blissfully ignorant when he heard the sudden and overwhelming thunderclap of his not-so “little woman’s” voice.

“Duck into the cellar for a pint of peaches before coming in for lunch, ya big sexy lug,” she hollered with her ample grin and a come hither wink from the kitchen window.

Giving out a jubilantly anticipatory

by Scott Clawson “Quack, quack,” Bernard did a little goofball duck-like maneuver for her

entertainment as he did an about-face in the bunchgrass of his back yard. Still in goofball mode from hearing his wife giggle, he missed the first of the three steps leading down into the cellar, caught one of his kid’s marbles on the second with his heel, lost his direction, changed attitudes, gained momentum and found the landing with his butt.

“Crap on a crutch!” he barked in equal parts surprise and gratitude for the fact that he’d just extracted the rag from his back pocket and also that he hadn’t landed somewhere in Kingdom Come or Oblivion, whatever zip-code those might be in.

Happy, too, that he’d accidentally left the cellar door open earlier that morn, providing his legs with someplace to go in this personally stunning rendition of “Flight of the Bumblebutt,” Bernard rolled over on his knees, quickly picking

August 2017

himself up like the proud man he was and bonked his head for the 97th (but not last) time on the cast iron drain pipe (he’d installed himself) hanging snugly below the floor joists that conveniently but barely cleared his six foot frame.

Happier now than a pig with a plastic pomegranate, he surveyed by Braille the contents of the rag as he moseyed over

to the open shelving that held not only the peaches, but every other substance his wife put up that kept him so happily nourished.

He didn’t have enough hands to properly address all the throbbing going on, so he laid the rag with the leftover stick of stump-be-gone on the concrete ledge of his foundation just above eye level in order to massage his bruised and tingly buns with one hand as he searched for a pint jar of peaches with the other. When he got done with that, he stuck the jar in the back of his bibs, freeing up that hand to rub out the goose egg forming on his scalp.

With his senses temporarily scrambled by endorphins, he thoughtlessly stepped back on the cat’s tail so conveniently placed that it took no conscious effort at all on Bernard’s part.

The resulting siren pretty much stripped

his memory of any thoughts about the old rag and its special contents that he was about to leave behind forever, but he was pleased he hadn’t gone down again, this time with a jar of peaches in his back pocket.

The rag would remain there, forgotten for the rest of Bernard’s long tenure on that little farmstead.

Almost sixty years to the day later, it was still hangin’ out unbeknownst to anyone in the near total darkness next to the rim joist of the now dilapidated old farmhouse. It had even escaped apt scrutiny by several muskrats and skunks as well as any one of dozens of volunteer firefighters who had recently spent almost two months training on how not to burn it down, at least all the way.

Through such things as incident command protocols, pre-fire planning arguments, on scene size-up, breathing apparatus (SCBA) training, search and rescue practice, fire suppression tactics, ladder work, pucker factors both humorous and life threatening, a short but serious dissertation on the conductivity of aluminum ladders, bladder relief, hose lays, tool relays, cross ventilation theories and finally the

eating of a good hearty lunch seasoned with ample first-aid applications, a few practical jokes and some intense group smoke inhalation techniques, followed by hacking and gagging sessions. And some beer.

That last item didn’t appear until the decision was made to “Let ‘er go this time” as everyone from three different fire protection agencies got comfortably back from the surprising heat one of these solid old structures can radiate in a full-on, let-‘er-rip conflagration without the cooling effects of truck loads of water.

All were chatting about how grateful they were for the chance to have some ‘quality time’ working and re-working a typical three story homestead structure fire without the added distraction of it being an actual working “Oh Shit Situation” where anydamnthing can sometimes happen when you least expect it to.

Acres n Pains Scott Clawson ruminates on life somewhere in the backwoods of Careywood, and turns it all into humor.

And he’s even on Pinterest now!

(Facebook, too.)

AcresnPains@dishmail.net

The 2017 Bonner County Fair

Aug. 12 at 7 p.m. in the Outdoor Arena At Gate Admission- $12.00 Adults- $6.00 10 yrs and under Gates open @ 6 p.m. Pre-Sale Tickets at: Les Schwab Tires and Sandpoint Super Drug NEW! Reserve Seating Area Tickets are available on our website:www.bonnercountyfair.com

August 2017

Page 21

90th Annual Bonner County

FAIR

AUGUST 8-12

remembering our roots

Daily

Pony Rides • Ag Exhibit • USDA Petting Zoo • Animal Cracker Conspiracy

Monday, Aug 7

ROYALTY CORONATION

Tuesday, Aug 8

Barrel Racing Potato Dig Contest Pig Scramble 4-H Fashion Review Inflatable Horse Race

Wednesday, Aug 9

2 pm Duct Tape Fashion • Back Seat Driving

Thursday, Aug 10

Clyde’s Towing One Hook-Up You’ll Never Regret We’re always open when you need us.

24 Hour Towing and Roadside Assistance

Idaho ­­— Montana

We also move Mobile Homes

208.263.0323 1115 Triangle Dr., Sandpoint

Internet....

Everywhere

On the Spot Candy Contest • Scarecrow Contest • Pizza Eating Contest • 4-H Archery • Little Folks Horse Show • Farm Bureau Federation Tractor Driving Contest • Ranch Sorting

Friday, Aug 11

Digital Shoot-Out • Farmers Market • World’s Smallest Rodeo • Win It In a Minute • Redneck Survivor Contest • Frozen Outfit Contest

Saturday, Aug 12

Bonner County Gardeners Plant Sale • Ice Cream Eating Contest • Kids Clinic Home Depot • Parade of Champions • 4-H Round Robin

Need reliable, high-speed Internet service? Call for a free site survey today! Intermax serves many areas of Bonner County from Dover to Hope as well as locations throughout Kootenai County.

208.762.8065 in Coeur d’Alene 208.265.3533 in Sandpoint

www.IntermaxNetworks.com

Don’t miss our booth where you can create a tie doll for kids with cancer.

Page 22 blanket or rag

August 2017

One project at a time...

Good cedar lumber at good prices is the first step toward completing all your summer projects.

North Idaho’s Cedar Lumber Outlet 208-263-1208 | open M-F 8:30-4:30 • Sat 8:30-12:30

August 11th, 2017 at 7:30 Gates Open at 6:30 pm Tickets online www.bonnercoutyfair.com

56 Bronx Road, Sandpoint just a mile north of North 40

WORSHIP ON THE LAWN FREESTYLE MOTO X SHOW

Sunday, August 13

9:30 am service includes the Spokane World Relief Youth Choir with music from Kenya, Sudan, Burundi, and Tanzania

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 9TH

Kids 50-70cc Races Inflatable Horse Relay Pre Register Gates open at 5:00pm Show starts at 6:00pm

Bonner County Fairgrounds 4203 N Boyer Rd. Sandpoint, ID 83864

First Presbyterian Church

August 2017

417 N. Fourth • Sandpoint

Page 23

TRADER’S

1007 Superior, Sandpoint, Idaho • 208-263-7518 • TOLL FREE: 1-877-263-7518 • FAX: 265-4220 Open 6 Days a Week • Monday-Friday 8 am to 5 pm, Sat. 8 am to 3 pm

FINISHING LUMBER • 2 AND BETTER SIZE

TYPE

PRICE/LF

SIZE

TYPE

PRICE

1X4

Spruce & Pine

$.68

1x2x8’

Cedar

$1.65 - 8’ length only

1X6

Spruce & Pine

$.88

1x2x8’

Fir

$1.75 ea.

1X8

Spruce & Pine

$1.15

2x4

Treated

0.78/linear ft.

1X10

Spruce & Pine

$1.35

2x6

Treated

$1.15/linear ft

1X12

Spruce & Pine

$1.75

2x8

Treated

$1.68/linear ft.

2X4

Cedar

$1.75

4x4

Treated

$1.50/linear ft

2X6

Cedar

$2.85

6x6

Treated

$3.40/linear ft

CEDAR SHINGLES

$30.00/ BUNDLE

1x6 Fir Skip Sheating 0.48/ft.

BEVELED CEDAR SIDING .90 FT.

24” METAL ROOFING Many colors available

24” Delta Rib $2.38 ft.

24” Galvanized $2.09 ft.

36” Strata Rib $2.63 ft.

FULL 2” MILL CUT of NEW DOORS Knauf EcoCEDAR IN 100s EXTERIOR, INSULATED 6STOCK PANEL STEEL DOORS. Friendly $65.00 each Insulation

5/4” x 6 FIR DECKING

Nice stuff!

Bull nose edges

MOST INTERIOR DOORS

$15.00 each

PINE RAISED PANEL INTERIOR DOORS

$65.00 each

3.5”x15”... $12.88

40 sq ft.

WE STOCK ALL SIZES. WARM, FUZZY and NO ITCH

TRADER’S SHEDS AND GREENHOUSES OFFER QUALITY & STYLE! All sheds are built on two 6x6 beams, floor joists and wall studs are on 16-inch centers, 2x6 rafters rated at 105 lbs per sq. ft. load! Choice of colored metal roofing. All sheds have insulated steel doors w/ keyed lock sets. 1x8 bevel cedar siding with two coats of log oil. Can add windows, deck, roll up doors and more. Our greenhouses offer similar quality construction. CALL OR STOP BY FOR DETAILS!

WE CAN DELIVER ON OUR TRUCK AND HELP SET UP

TRADER’S