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this may was a
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A News Magazine Worth Wading Through ~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 2656 Sandpoint, ID 83864 www.Facebook.com/RiverJournal (Webpage under redesign) 208.255.6957 • 208.266.1112 RiverJournalIdaho@gmail.com
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Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2017. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho. The River Journal is printed on 40 percent recycled paper with soy-based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.
THE RIVER JOURNAL • June 2017 •
6. WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS? A lack of affordable, quality daycare hampers the local work force. CASSANDRA CRIDLAND 8. GETTING OUT (OR INTO) SANDPOINT. Road improvements downtown will require paying attention this summer. TRISH GANNON 10. A MESSAGE TO GRADUATES. From those who went before... a little life advice. DUSTIN GANNON 11. DON’T EAT YELLOW SNOW. But all that yellow pollen probably won’t hurt you. TRISH GANNON 12. WHY YOU SHOULD RIOT OVER THE PARIS ACCORDS. But you probably won’t like it much. TRISH GANNON 13. TROGLODYTES. Try not to be one. SANDY COMPTON - THE SCENIC ROUTE 14. HUMMINGBIRD MOTH. When a hummingbird is not actually a bird. MIKE TURNLUND - A BIRD IN HAND
16. EVERY DAY IS APRIL FOOLS DAY. David has never been able to pass up a good pun or a practical joke... but Pres. Trump might be carrying it too far. DAVID KEYES - AS I SEE IT 18. LEGISLATIVE WRAP UP Part 3. Idaho’s ethics problem, the grocery tax and results from local races. GIL BEYER-HERE IN THE MIDDLE 19. THE MOST INTERESTING MEN IN THE WORLD. In one day, A.C. gets to meet an amazing scientist, and a fascinating musician. A.C. WOOLNOUGH - ALL SHOOK UP 20. DOWN THE NEW RIVER. Ernie explores the recovery after the removal of the Elwha Dam. ERNIE HAWKS - THE HAWK’S NEST 22. DOWN THE NUTHATCH. Scott’s new friend is driving him crazy. SCOTT CLAWSON - ACRES N’ PAINS
Cover photo: Mary Franzel, no chicken-baby about flying in small planes (like I am), got this photo of pollen on the lake while participating in an area flyover with Eco-Flight.
Our Thanks to these fine businesses where you can pick up a copy of the River Journal: Athol Dairy Depot Holiday Shores Safeway Athol Conoco Burger Express Clark Fork Bonners Visitor Center Westmond Sandpoint City Hall Hay’s Chevron Noxon Westmond Store Sandpoint Super Drug Monarch Market Big Sky Pantry Sagle Gas n’ Go Clark Fork Beverage Aitken’s Quik Stop Sagle Conoco Super 1 Foods Samuels Noxon Mercantile Sandpoint Ponderay Samuels Service Station Trout Creek Waterfront Conoco The Hoot Owl Cafe Elmira Trout Creek Local Store The Panida Theater Babe’s One Stop Elmira Store Thompson Falls Vanderford’s Books Co-Op Country Store Naples Harvest Foods Eichardt’s The Bonner Mall Naples Gen. Store Plains DiLuna’s Cafe Schweitzer Conoco Bonners Ferry Conoco/Town Pump Columbia Bank Hope Super One Foods The Printery June 2017
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WHO’S WATCHING THE KIDS? Access to day care an important issue for working families
by Cassandra Cridland but unfortunately, family isn’t always Like most rural areas and smaller the most reliable or desirable option. communities, employment options in For many parents, paid professional Bonner County that provide sufficient means for a family to survive on a single day care is the only solution. So, how do you find and afford the one that is right income, while the other parent takes for your child? care of their children, are extremely In Idaho, daycare providers are only limited. According to statistics reported required to be licensed by the state if by the U.S. Census Bureau (20112015), the average per capita income, before taxes, in Bonner County is $23,981, the median household income is $42,171, and right off the top we all spend approximately $15,000 a year putting a roof over our head. Which means if you’re fond of food and clothing to go with your shelter, both parents will need to work nearly full-time to bring in an income. Sometimes that’s not possible. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 28.9 percent of children in Bonner County live in a single-parent household, which means that roughly a third of the parents in our local families are working twice as hard to afford the necessities. So—if we’re all working to make ends meet, who’s watching Photo by Jordan Schwartz, via Creative Commons. our kids? Therein lies the great they care for seven or more children struggle—how do you afford childcare and receive compensation for delivering which provides the optimum in care for one or more of those children. developmental care and safety when However, there are exceptions in place you’re spread thin just trying to cover that allow a day care provider to skip the the essentials? state license. According to data listed Often, finding the best care for by the Idaho Department of Health and your children is about building a Welfare, Bonner County does not require flexible support network. To the extent anything more than a planning and possible, many couples work opposite zoning permit for the operation of a day schedules. They build friendships with care. Only the cities of Ponderay and other parents in similar circumstances Kootenai require a day care provider to and trade off childcare within their maintain a state-issued license, and only circle. A lucky few are self-employed Ponderay requires a provider to obtain a in professions that allow them to bring city-issued license as well. their children to their job site. Some Using a childcare provider with a have extended family available to assist, Page
license offers parents a certain level of reassurance that the facility adheres to health standards for cleanliness and safety. If the facility also participates within the Idaho Child Care Program, then there is the additional assurance that members of the staff have received training in health and safety, early childhood development, and hazard/ disaster planning. One of the best resources for locating a licensed/ICCP daycare in Bonner County is to search the database offered by the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare at www. idahostars.org, www.211. idaho.gov, or call 2-1-1, the Idaho CareLine. Currently, filtering your search on this database only by location will provide you with a list of 15 providers—10 in Sandpoint, three in Priest River, one each in Kootenai and Ponderay. While several of these providers allow for early morning drop-offs, most require pickup by 6:00 pm at the latest. Fulltime day care placements take priority over part-time placements. In fact, among the providers I contacted, most indicated they were currently only accepting full-time placements, meaning at least 4 days per week. Only a couple of these providers offer any kind of night or weekend care. For most, if they provide food, it will only be a snack, so be prepared to provide all your child’s food. You will find that your options for child care will shrink based on how many children require care, their ages, and if they have any special needs. Be prepared to face a waiting list, especially for younger children. Most
June 2017
of the providers I spoke with were a minimum of a month out before they would be able to accept a two-year-old into their care. Certainly, using a licensed facility does not guarantee that your child will be in the best possible environment for them. As a parent, you may find that a smaller, non-licensed caregiver is a better option. In either case, if someone else is watching your babies, you need to be prepared to closely monitor the service. A list of child care providers is available at www.sandpointonline. com, the Greater Sandpoint Chamber of Commerce has a short list they’ve prepared for people considering moving to the area, and an internet search at www.yelp.com will provide you with a top 10 list based on reviews. If you’re a person of faith, check with your local church or religious affiliation for other available options. If you qualify, ICCP offers monetary assistance to help cover day care expenses. Eligibility requires you to be a citizen or legal immigrant, an Idaho resident, working/going to school/ participating in approved training, and not exceeding the monthly gross income limits. According to the table shown on the Child Care Assistance page of the IDHW website (www.healthandwelfare.idaho. gov), the maximum gross income limit for a household of two, a single parent with a child, is $1,736 per month. If you’re earning the average per capita income for Bonner County of $23,981 ($1,998 per month), you make too much money to qualify. In fact, the numbers
on the table indicate you’d have to have two more children before you’d be eligible for daycare assistance. Parents with two children, earning the median household income of $42,171 ($3,514 per month) also exceed the allowed $2,633 per month for a household of four. The bad news is even if you do qualify for assistance, you need to find a day care provider who is part of the ICCP network and can receive these payments, which narrows your field of options. The average monthly cost for fulltime daycare at a licensed facility in Bonner County is approximately $550 per child. However, several providers offer discounts for multiple children and a few have scholarship programs available. As Bonner County continues to grow and larger employers move into the area, things may improve. A growing trending in metropolitan markets is employer sponsored daycare as an employee benefit. Studies have shown that employees with stable childcare are more focused and miss fewer days of work. Employers offering daycare benefits report that their employee retention increases dramatically and in some cases their turnover percentage drops to 5 percent or less. Until that time, the challenge for finding the right daycare provider in Bonner County will remain as difficult as finding a good job. And parents will continue to struggle as they choose between nourishing their child’s development and meeting their physical needs for food, shelter, and clothing.
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June 2017
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GETTING OUT OF (or into) SANDPOINT Downtown Sandpoint streets get “interesting” for the summer
by Trishi Gannon The summer season of road construction is getting underway early in Sandpoint, as a series of changes to downtown streets leaves drivers mystified and just a little bit ticked off. Anticipated for decades, and highly looked forward to once the Sandpoint bypass was completed in 2012, the state finally returned control of the streets through downtown to the city, which immediately began planning for a return to two-way traffic through the area. The first stage of implementation for that plan, delayed due to this spring’s wet weather, began near the end of May with both Fifth and Pine streets becoming two-way once again after a very long hiatus. Problems began almost immediately after. Sandpoint’s police department, always seriously proactive about informing the public, reached out immediately on Facebook to pass the word: “We are experiencing a huge issue at 4th and Pine with trucks trying to make the turn onto 4th from Pine. It isn’t going to happen... Well not easily anyway. Already several near misses with head-on collisions and bottle-necking. Therefore we are NOT ALLOWING TRUCKS EASTBOUND ON PINE BETWEEN 1ST AND 4TH.” While most responded with support to the PD’s plea for patience during the transition, others (who apparently missed all the information and meetings of the last decade) questioned why streets downtown were changing. No matter what your opinion of the changes, they are happening, and it’s time to take the car off autopilot and pay attention when you’re driving. And if you’ve been driving in this area for any length of time, be aware it’s going to feel strange going the “wrong” way down streets that have been one way for quite some time. The map at top right, developed by the city in cooperation with Century West Engineering, represents what the end goal of the project will be. We are not at the end yet. As of this writing (early June), our current status is two-way traffic on Pine Street, except for the portion between Fourth and Fifth, and two-way traffic on Cedar St. Many lanes of other streets are currently closed to traffic as further work on developing the plan takes place. Where to pay attention right now? In the photo at top left, leaving Sandpoint on Fifth Ave., you will no longer be Page
June 2017
able to turn left on Pine St. Although the road is striped for that now, traffic cones are set up allowing the left hand turn at this time and the traffic light, which will eventually go away, is still in place and blinking red. In the near future, expect this option to disappear. You will need to make your left turn at Cedar, Oak or Church streets, although at this writing only Oak has eastbound lanes open. If you’re entering town from the south, photo at middle left, notice that traffic can now turn left on Pine St. and that light is also blinking red, making that intersection a four-way stop. Eventually, southbound traffic will be coming at you from First Avenue, and that stop light will be removed. If you make that left turn onto Pine, you will need to make a right turn (head north) on either Second, Third or Fourth; at Fourth St you must turn right as the one block of one-way traffic still allowed on Pine will be coming straight at you. Other street changes are coming, or may have already come by the time you read this so again, pay attention. To learn more about the summer-long plan, including water and sewer upgrades on First Avenue, street improvements on Cedar, and a move to diagonal parking downtown, read Sandy Compton’s article in the summer issue of Sandpoint Magazine (SandpointMagazine.com, page 89), or check out the city’s website at SandpointStreets.com.
Sandpoint Police Dept. posted the image above with their message on Facebook regarding traffic. They do a good job using social media to keep people up to date on what’s happening. You can follow them on Facebook @Sandpoint Police Department.
June 2017
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A MESSAGE TO THIS YEAR’S GRADUATES Can we officially say that summer has arrived in North Idaho? After the wettest April and May on record for the last 150 years (thanks, Obama), June has arrived with the radiant heat we’ve all been waiting for. June’s arrival brings a couple other anticipated events. Dads get their day, and grads get their freedom. As I prepare for my first father’s day with TWO daughters, along with the graduation of my nephew, I can’t help but reflect on how each passing year brings a new realization of our naivete in years past. Now always seems to be the moment you have things figured out, yet every year you look back on, you realize how very wrong you were at the time. When I graduated high school 12 years ago, I felt like I knew the workings of the world and I was ready for anything that came my way. I can’t help but feel that the couple thousand North Idaho kids who are about to leave their high school bubble are feeling that same way, including my nephew Tyler. Parental advice is a necessary task for the moms and dads out there who are about to see their babies receive their diplomas, but I’d like to lend some words of wisdom from people who were thrust into the realm of adulthood while simultaneously navigating this social networked, act-now-pay-later, snapchat- infested, Instagrammed, DM’d, hashtagged, squad type of society that we live in today. On the eve of my 30th birthday, here are 10 things that we know now, that we all wish we knew when we graduated. Brandon Haas, 28 - “Don’t procrastinate.” This should go without saying but it holds as true as any. Procrastination is real and learning to manage your time can set you miles above your peers. Schedule your time out, and don’t forget to set aside time to do things for fun as well as the things you need to take care of. If you work on your time management, you will find you have time in every day to handle your business. Katrina Perry, 39 – “It is important to know how credit scores can affect you as an adult.” This is a big one. As a
teenager coming out of high school, many don’t understand that a credit score isn’t just a number that reflects your purchases and payments. This number can hinder your ability to secure housing, a reliable vehicle and the insurance to run it, and even a job. In some scenarios, people can be affected by their poor credit every single day. Dustin Gannon, 29 – “Don’t put all your troubles on social media.” This one I have been a culprit of far too often. In earlier years, when something awesome happened, you put it on Facebook. When something bad happened, you put it on Facebook. We all have this interconnection that gives us the idea that putting our troubles online will allow others to sympathize and offer support. Sometimes that is true, but you have to avoid posting things that are a way for you to release your anger, sadness or struggles. It may feel good in the moment, but when you look back on it, you’ll feel really stupid about it. Jess McAvoy, 25 - “It really doesn’t matter what people think about you, as long as you’re happy.” This is so, so, so true. You’ll find as each passing year goes by that you care less and less what other people think. If I could adopt that mantra as an 18-year-old, I would’ve spent so much less time posting stupid stuff online and worrying about things I can’t control. It will give you more time to focus on what is truly important! Joe McCarthy, 33 - “Keep in touch with your friends. It’s as easy as a phone call. You get caught up, and later realize how good you had it with the people in your life.” One of the many pitfalls of youth is thinking you have more time. You’re always looking for the good life and sometimes don’t realize that the days you’re living in the moment will be the best days you want to go back to. Hailey Mahler, 30 – “If you can do it, don’t use student loans. They will haunt you.” It may seem like an easy out to just take some money and have school paid for, but paying these loans off can take a ton of time. If you can spare it, try and pay for school first so you’ll have less to pay later. It will also help you
by Dustin Gannon • dustin@teambrownrealty.com Page 10
create a sense of value to your classes and you’ll probably take them more seriously as well. “Blake and I had a lot of debt together when we first started dating and now, besides our house, we are getting close to debt free. I was always jealous of the kids who traveled in college but my parents encouraged me to wait, and it’s so worth it now. We have traveled around the world some, bought a big beautiful house, got married and have a baby now and did that before 30. It’s finding that happy medium in life while living within your means.” Jennifer Johnson, 30 – “Happiness is a choice.” Apart those who suffer from diseases like depression, happiness is very much a choice. I have always been a firm believer that your mind has power over everything. If you choose to wake up happy and ready for the day, your attitude will remain that way throughout the day. It is easy to be sad, it is easy to be angry. If you can take every single situation and see the brighter side of it, you’ll find yourself happier at the end of each day. Josh McDonald, 27 - “Find your passion. Don’t let your dreams become your regrets.” If you can find something that you enjoy doing, find a way to make money doing exactly that. You’ll always take pride in yourself if you are doing what you love. If you stay in a job that you dread going to every day, you’ll look back at your 20-year-old self and ask, ‘Why didn’t I just do this instead?’ If you see a chance to do something you’ll enjoy with your life, TAKE IT! Alicia Rettstatt, 37 – “Don’t be afraid of change, embrace it. When you change, you grow.” Sometimes things will change and you can allow it, other times things will change whether you like it or not. All you can do is be ready for it. When change comes your way, take charge of it and learn from it. Neha Agarwal, - “You might feel like Miss/Mr. Nobody during school time, but when you step in to the real world you acknowledge what a gem you are.” It takes ages to realize this one but it’s true. If you think you’re not cool enough, not smart enough or not pretty enough, just stop. Because once you leave high
June 2017
DON’T EAT YELLOW SNOW!
But the yellow on everything else might be just fine At first, I thought a very fine, misting rain was falling on a bright sunny morning. Then I thought there was something wrong with my eyes. Finally, I realized the sparkling motes that filled my vision were the beginning of one of the strongest pine pollen seasons I’ve seen in decades in North Idaho. Toward the end of May (and at the risk of sounding improper), local residents found themselves in the midst of a giant tree orgy, as area pine trees— Gynosperms to some—engaged in a frantic spring rush to fertilize their seeds. Tennyson wrote that the onset of spring causes a “young man’s fancy” to lightly turn to “thoughts of love.” Young trees are much the same, as the yellow pollen that so visibly filled the air—and coated every outdoor surface in sight— attested to. Well, not so much male trees (there are no such things), but the male pine cones, which contain pollen, were doing their best to ensure that female pine cones would become fertilized and continue their species. Yes, it was the males responsible for school and once these people you might be envious of leave high school, not a single person cares. Nobody cares what you’ve done in school. Nobody cares about your accomplishments or your amount of friends. In the real world everyone has the same goal: Provide for themselves and or their family, and be happy. That’s it! For those of you who have kids about to graduate, it might be helpful to share these opinions with them. Advice coming from a parent can often go unheard. Hearing these things from people near their own age who have just recently gone through everything they have ahead of them might hold some more weight. Congratulations to all the new adults out there!. Hopefully these words can help you prepare yourselves for the absolute shit-show that adulting is all about!
staining everything in sight yellow, and you can draw your own analogies. Of course, trees pollinate every spring, but not every spring offers such visible evidence of that effort. This year, however, spring was a bit late, as a long, wet, chilly winter gave way to a long, wet, chilly spring... and cold, wet weather tends to keep the pollen out of the air. Once the air finally dried up and warmed, the trees got busy making up for lost time. By the way, if you found yourself sneezing a lot through the pollen ‘snow,’ don’t think you’ve suddenly developed an allergy to pines. Pine pollen is large and heavy, and therefore tends to fall to the ground rather quickly. It also has a waxy coating, so pine pollen is not often the cause of allergies. But when trees are pollinating, so are many other types of vegetation, and the likely culprits behind your allergies are generally in the angiosperm family; that is, in the flowering trees, plants and grasses. They just go about their business a little less noticeably. If you follow health sites that give
only a passing nod to scientific validity, you’ll learn from them that pine pollen is practically a human superfood. They suggest that ingesting pine pollen will repair DNA, increase your life span, boost endocrine and immune functions, balance your hormones yet also boost testosterone (a hormone), is dense with nutrients, works as an anti-inflammatory, and serves as a “sexual vitality elixir.” It even improves your skin. Or does it? Well... who knows? There have been almost no human studies done on the benefits of pine pollen. Traditional Chinese medicine has touted the benefits of pine pollen’s anti-inflammatory properties as a treatment for arthritis, but those formulas are based on pollen from pines native to China, not those of the Pacific Northwest. Nonetheless, it does appear that, unless you’re allergic to pine trees, pine pollen is unlikely to cause you much harm, at least, not in the doses many received during their first grilling opportunity of the year. Plus, it’s suitable for vegans and gluten-free!
by Trishi Gannon
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June 2017
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WHY YOU SHOULD RIOT ABOUT THE PARIS ACCORDS Don’t get excited. I’m not suggesting anyone should run out and commit violence or public mayhem. But if you care about the fact that our climate is changing, and that our own activities are contributing to that change, then one little-known riot is truly an appropriate response that anyone can participate in. It’s the Riot for Austerity. In 2007, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its fourth report on the state of the climate and at that time, it was estimated that around a 90 percent reduction in fossil fuel emissions would be required to keep our climate stable. Also at that time, it was clear that no one - not one single government - was going to come close to establishing that type of goal, nor was it likely they would ever do so. Two women, Sharon Astyk and Miranda Edel, decided frustrated acceptance of the status quo was not enough. “Someone, we argued, had to model a way of life that was actually viable given the limits of our planet’s resources and pollution absorption capacity. So, why not us?” wrote Astyk in her blog, “Casaubon’s Book.” Borrowing a phrase George Monbiot had used in his book “Heat,” they called it the Riot for Austerity. And a movement was born. Astyk says at its peak, in 2008, several thousand people in 14 different countries around the world were participating in the riot. A driving principal was their belief that if “our response to climate change and energy depletion had to wait on policy measures—to wait for the high speed rail lines and superinsulated new homes, to wait for carbon credits or whatever, we would not act. We needed to find a way to show that you can act right now—and make not a little tiny difference by carrying your cloth bag, but a big and measurable one—a change that nobody else thought was possible.” They focused on seven key areas of energy use: electricity, heating and cooking energy, gasoline/transportation energy, garbage, water usage, the consumption of consumer goods and food energy consumption. And they learned some important lessons. Page 12
The first, was that it was relatively easy to cut their energy usage by around 50 percent... but it got harder after that. The second was that different people had different areas where they simply struggled to make any substantial cuts at all. The third was that their effort—a purely personal effort in their own homes—came under public attack. In the end, Astyk wrote that she was able to cut her family’s various types of energy usage to 80 percent of what is normal for a typical American family. When I first learned about the Riot for Austerity, I was excited to try it for myself. even knowing that my enthusiasm for data-driven projects is rarely matched by a long-term commitment. But I figured that if I could determine what my usage was, and where I was trying to get, I could make some progress even if I forgot to write things down and keep a good record. Here’s the embarrassing part. Right off the bat, I exempted transportation energy from my plan. I lived in Clark Fork, I reasoned, and had no ability to move. I also couldn’t move necessary Sandpoint businesses 21 miles west, and couldn’t bike those miles into town and back every day (and that was before I blew out my knee!). So it was unreasonable to try to reduce my transportation energy by 90 percent. In other words, I decided I couldn’t do it because it was too hard. Which really isn’t much different from what our President had to say when he announced that the U.S. would withdraw from the Paris accords. President Trump does seem to have his finger on the pulse of the selfish, mefirst side of our human psyche. Understanding that, of course, doesn’t mean it’s okay, because insisting that we should have what we’ve always had and someone else— either someone who will experience adverse effects first, or someone living down the line—should pay the consequences of our choice is simply wrong. But like most things in life, if you want to change things you first have to
change yourself. And frankly... none of us are doing all that we can do when it comes to addressing climate change. I am not expecting anyone who reads this to actually take up the challenge of the Riot for Austerity... but I do ask that you think about it. That when you throw food into the garbage (food that likely took fossil fuel energy to ship from the place where it was grown to the place where you purchased it), when you crank the heat up a little higher instead of putting on a sweater, when you leave the car running while you’re waiting on road construction, when you go to the store and buy things you don’t actually need... that you realize the many wasteful ways in which you, yourself, contribute to the climate change that’s becoming all too visible around us, and do so for no better reason than a little convenience. And in doing so, you send a message—to our own President as well as the rest of the world—that while you might care about climate change you don’t actually care enough to do things that might cause inconvenience in your own life. I’ve often argued that attitude reflects leadership, but the converse is also true... that leadership reflects our own attitudes, and that we get the leadership we actually deserve. Yes, the Paris accords are important. Real progress on climate change is not going to happen because you turned your heat down, or quit letting the water run while brushing your teeth. It will take the combined leadership of nations, it will take the hard and inspired work of people developing new approaches to energy use, it will take a recognition of the dichotomy of trying to bring the standard of living up in the world when a high standard of living is predicated on the use of fossil fuels. But it will also take people willing to confront and tackle their own role as part of the problem. With his actions, our President has denied us the opportunity to participate on a global level. But our individual choices are still ours to choose.
by Trish Gannon • trishgannon@gmail.com
June 2017
Troglodytes Troglodyte. You may look it up, if you wish. We have one in the Oval Office. So, far, his time in office calls to mind a line in a John Prine song: “I am out undoing all the good I’ve done.” He reminds me of a spoiled, petulant, rebellious, ignorant four-year-old mucking about in matters he neither understands nor cares to. He just wants his way. The (sort of) good news is that I knew that before he was elected. He has needed a time out for a long time. Or a good spanking. I am not happy to be writing this. It would be so much better to rhapsodize about the lovely advent of June in Montaho and ignore the situation in Washington, DC. And maybe I should. I’m really not well enough informed to speak intelligently about the complete state of the United States except to say I don’t like what’s going on, watching Mr. Trump and company dismantle the work of ten decades of progress in the right direction. And feeling somewhat helpless to do anything about it except to vow to work to unseat him at the first available moment. In November last year, I declared my candidacy for President in 2020. I believe I would make a better President than Donald Trump. Of course, so would about 65 percent of the population of the U.S. I hesitate to use a higher number, because I encounter people every day who seem to be as clueless and selfish as he is. Part of our population thinks they are rock stars. “Party on, Dude!” is their mantra, and screw the consequences. Like they — or we — can afford it. They are sometimes identifiable by their conduct, but they are also sometimes disguised as members in good standing of society. It’s hard to sort out who they are and harder still to convince them to stop burning up our children’s inheritance. Their selfishness and shortsightedness borders on the
criminal. In some cases, it probably doesn’t stop short. I have come to believe that the biggest sin of humanity is greed: wanting more than our share and being willing to take advantage of others — and the planet — to get it. Perhaps all other sins grow out of greed. If there is another self-reliant sin, it’s fear, and even it seems to be connected to greed, in the prospect that someone may try to take what is ours, whether it be our money, food, home, life or sanity. In a recent issue of Sports Illustrated there is a full-page ad for smokeless tobacco. Why Sports Illustrated accepts advertising from smokeless tobacco companies, I have no clue. They don’t at first seem to be matched. But the demographic of people who read Sports Illustrated must be a good one for smokeless tobacco or the marketing department of the huge corporations who sell such things wouldn’t spend their money there. I was a smoker for years and understand the addictive nature of tobacco. I also came to believe that an industry that sells such products doesn’t have a huge social conscious. Thousands die of tobacco related diseases every year. Do the boards of directors of RJ Reynolds give a damn? No, evidently, or they would find another way to make money, another product to sell. This goes for the arms industry as well, and lobbies that support both. These people suffer from extreme greed. They are not making the world a better place by their products or their actions, and they are making a killing anyway. Sometimes quite literally. There is a big black panel at the bottom of the smokeless tobacco ad in Sports Illustrated. It takes up about 20 percent of the ad space and announces in white letters: “This product can cause gum disease and tooth loss.” Not to mention oral and stomach cancer.
Yet, thousands of tins of Grizzly Long Cut are sold every year. And millions of dollars are spent every year combating the health effects of tobacco. Now, we have a guy in the White House who came with a similar warning. We have watched Mr. Trump’s public life for a decade plus. He has showed himself again and again a greedy, self-consumed man who will do almost anything for attention or a buck. I’m pleased to know that he was elected by the fluke in the system known as the Electoral College, that a majority of U.S. citizens did not vote for him. It gives me hope that the next time around we won’t bring him back. In the meantime, maybe we can convince more of our fellow citizens to quit buying products and ideas that are not good for them, including greed and fear. We are not all troglodytes. Let’s work to get our country back.
The Scenic Route The Scenic Route is also a book collecting many of the best of Sandy Compton’s essays. It and his other book are available at Vanderfords in Sandpoint, The Well Read Moose in Coeur d’ Alene and online at bluecreekpress.com. Visit his Facebook page at facebook. com/sandycomptonwriter
by Sandy Compton • sandy@bluecreekpress.com June 2017
Page 13
WHEN A HUMMINGBIRD IS NOT A BIRD The Hummingbird moth is big and beautiful, but not a bird
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As you might suspect, I frequently receive requests for information about particular birds, especially those that seem to defy identification. What bird is this color? What bird makes that sound? What species acts such-and-such a way? But one question that I hear with surprising frequency and which at first confounded me was, what is that blackand-white-striped hummingbird? Ladies and gentlemen, there are no black-and-white-striped hummingbirds. I don’t care what you saw! And there is a reason why you can’t find this species in your bird guides, in spite of the evidence you have hovering in your flower beds. No, you have not discovered a new species of hummer. What you have encountered wasn’t even a bird. It’s a moth! I am going to make a break with convention for this month’s “Bird In Hand” to describe an insect and one that continues to confound people who share a more than a passing interest in birds. This is the Hummingbird moth. It looks and acts like a hummingbird. Well, sort of; but enough so to confuse people. Just as a hummingbird hovers back and forth among a patch of blossoms, feeding on nectar, so does a Hummingbird moth. From a distance it appears indistinguishable from a hummingbird, as it moves from blossom to blossom, hovering at each one using its proboscis—its long, tubular mouth— to probe for nectar. Hummingbird
moths are generally a wee bit smaller than even the smallest hummers, the Calliope in our area, but size is always a challenge to determine in the field. But size appears to be a moot point, as people are still confused. So while the Hummingbird moth might be small for a hummingbird, it is large for a moth. Their coloration is also a clue. Hummingbird moths are striped, some species more than others and sometimes the stripes are not always distinctive, but they’re there. Hummingbird birds are never striped. Ever. Also, Hummingbird moths are more tolerant of the presence of people. They might let you approach within a few feet, whereas hummingbird birds are very shy. They don’t tolerate people, cats, dogs, bicycles, etc. Hummingbird moths are more oblivious. Something equally unusual about Hummingbird moths is that they are out and about during the day, although they also fly at night. As you know, most other moth species are generally nocturnal. So, again, another reason to confuse this insect with the hummingbirds. I am not an expert about Hummingbird moths (and, honestly, not really an expert about birds either), but from my research, the primary species around here is the White-lined Sphinx moth. At least, this is the species I’ve seen. They’re horizontally striped, an alternating brown and white. These moths are quite large, with wingspans ranging from two and a half to almost four inches across, the males being larger than the females. I’ve never heard it, but evidently the big ones give off a humming sound from their wings that is the same as a hummingbird. Pretty cool.
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June 2017
Moths are caterpillars before becoming adults and the Hummingbird moth caterpillar is quite large. These caterpillars are none other than the infamous “hornworms,” which in large numbers become the plague of tomato and tobacco farmers (at least, some related species). They are up to three inches in length and can range from yellow, to green, even black, spotted or not spotted, the coloration being evidently determined by the weather. They have a small “horn” on their posterior. Hornworms are also known for their late summer or early fall migrations along the ground as they seek out a particular soil composition to bury into in order to pupate into adults. I once filmed a Hummingbird moth feeding on dandelions at Clark Fork High School. My encounter was completely accidental and fortuitous as I had my camcorder in hand, and the large moth was not perturbed by my drawing near to film it. I’ve also had them visit my
garden, being especially drawn to the Bee Balm. Have you ever seen a Hummingbird moth? If you can swear, on a stack of Bibles, that you’ve seen a black-andwhite striped (or brown-and-white
striped) hummingbird, then you’ve seen a Hummingbird moth. They’re bold, they’re big, and they’re just like their namesakes, except that they’re insects. Happy birding!
by Mike Turnlund • mturnlund@gmail.com
A Bird in Hand
Do you love birds, and want to know more? Check out Mike’s bird photos, online at birdsidaho. blogspot.com.
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EVERY DAY’S A GOOD DAY FOR AN APRIL FOOLS GEM by David Keyes • davidkeyes09@gmail.com
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unrelenting and lasted for years. Of course, Obama didn’t complain or pretend he was being persecuted more that any previous president. Trump claimed that title recently when he became the target of leaked news coming from his own administration. Of course, give Trump credit, once Obama produced a legitimate birth certificate, the future president clammed up and moved on to other things. April Fools! Not quite. It wasn’t until the election neared that he finally confessed his belief was wrong, and, by the way, since all the reporters were gathered anyway, anyone interested in a tour of the latest Trump hotel? PT Barnum had nothing on this guy. In Sandpoint we recognized April Fools Day in the Daily Bee several times. I would have some bold idea and would usually pitch it to managing editor Caroline Lobsinger, who would nod in approval. In a strange coincidence, most of my really juicy pranks would have occurred while I was gone. Our best one occurred in 2008, just after President Obama had defeated John McCain and the pride of Sandpoint, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. While it is true Ms. Palin was born in Sandpoint, it is hard to believe the four months or so she and her family lived in the small house behind Safeway had
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April Fools Day. This celebration of levity used to be confined to just April 1, but for the last several hundred days it seems to have taken on a life of its own. Throw in a Tweeter in Chief who lacks impulse control, stir in an electorate convinced that either Obama or Hillary Clinton are the devil (or somehow they both are!) and then simmer until boiling over. That, in a Betty Crocker nutshell, is the situation we have now. It doesn’t take a genius–full disclosure, you are not reading one now–to figure out that out 45th President of the United States came into office totally unprepared. Many thought that the senator from Illinois, Barack Hussein Obama, came into the presidency in 2008 a little light on the resume, being only a state senator and U.S. senator before being elected president. Ha! President Trump had never held any elective office before winning the presidency and has never really had to work with people who can obstruct him just because they want to. Then there was this New York businessman who tried to diminish Obama’s legitimacy to the presidency by stoking rumors that Obama was born in another country. The pressure was personal,
June 2017
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much impact on her political glide plane. I hadThis a message Paliniswas septic that pilotSarah project being Later she did return to North Idaho to downstairs Beetooffice andwith was introducedatinthe order comply water Gas • Convenience Store attend college at the University of Idaho waiting me. quality for standards as determined by the and there are stories of her coming north Kathleen Bordenave hadDesignated pulled the to Unofficial Historical Society Federal Clean Water Act. to visit Sandpoint. Sarah lookalike act before Sandpoint, protect water quality, the in plan, known as I hatched the idea of a Sarah Palinand she was owning Daily it when I met a “Total Maximum Load” forher. Lake Oil Changes based April Fool’s Day prank in the People their tracks and took Pend stopped Oreille, in addresses nutrient issues Tire Rotation paper several hours before deadline and photos of her as she made her way to by appointment after the guarantee I would be at the the office. There were people the Bee In addition, many inlakeshore Bee on April 1 to answer phone calls. office who believed Sarah Palin homeowners participated in was a survey Lobsinger insisted that the “story” there. in 2007 concerning a variety of water run on Page 2 instead of Page 1, because Again, issues. the perfect Foolsout, joke.their 208-266-1338 quality As April is turns Lord knows an April Fools joke on Half of the people who saw her believed The Journal News Magazine Through | www.RiverJournal.com | Vol 17 No. 18 | November 2008 | Page 5 PageRiver 1 would ruin- A the paper’s stellarWorth Wading that Sarah Palin might actually be in reputation for playing it straight and Sandpoint while the other half doubted would diminish our chances at winning it or let their hatred for Palin cloud their EVERGREEN REALTY the Pulitzer Prize. judgment. Done. That is exactly where we are today. Sales Associate, GRI Page 2. Headline states Sarah Palin The world wonders where this country is returning to Sandpoint to open a is headed when the rebel president political think tank. praises Russia’s Putin and disses allies It’s conceivable that Sandpoint’s such as England and Germany. own would need a base in the lower Russia meddled in the presidential 48 to launch and massage her brand of election and nobody disputes that. The conservatism. problem was that President Obama The smaller subhead read that the didn’t want to blow the whistle toward city embraced the idea and wanted to the end of the election because he show its support by changing the name would have been accused of tilting the of Fifth Avenue to Sarah Palin Way. scale toward Clinton. This, mixed with If that wasn’t enough, there was talk an FBI director who was going every of a Sarah Palin fountain downtown. which way, left the door open enough 321 N. First Ave. - Sandpoint The story ran and it was an April for Trump to be elected. 800.829.6370 1 gem. Half of the people who called April Fool’s Day isn’t a national 208.263.6370 thought the idea was great while others holiday and should be the one day we EvergreenRealty.com thought it was stupid and had plans to brace for some shenanigans. SchweitzerMountain.com overthrow local government. Unfortunately the Russian probe With the public evenly split, I will mixed with the constant drip, drip, drip now apply my math skills and say that of destructive politics leaves us nothing there were a handful of people who saw to laugh at. right through the ruse by remembering Nobody really knows how the Trump Whatever Your Event Needs that the paper was printed on April 1. presidency will go. But my inclinations It was late morning and I was tell me that we haven’t seen anything chuckling after receiving yet another yet. Happy April Fools Day ... for as long phone call concerning the fact that “that as we keep celebrating it. Sarah Palin” was coming to town, when
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IDAHO’S ETHICS, GROCERY TAX & LOCAL RACES by Gil Beyer • 40vintage@gmail.com We’ll start this with something left over from last month. Due to space limitations we had to let the story of questionable ethics in the Idaho House fall by the wayside. It seems that Representative Janet Trujillo and Representative Mike Moyle got married in December of last year and in the usual fashion she moved in with him. Trujillo represents Idaho Falls—a far piece from Boise—and Moyle represents Star—rock throwing distance from the State House. You might think that since they are living together they would claim the same per diem but you would be wrong. She claimed the $129/day while he claims the lower rate of $49. She claimed that since she represents Idaho Falls she is entitled to the higher rate. Representative Trujillo did not say where she resided during the legislative session. Nor did she say that she was paying rent when asked by the Idaho Falls Register. We’ll let you decided if this is ethical or not but it is not the first time two lawmakers were found to be working the system. Back in 2011 two people were collecting the higher amount; one was from Caldwell the other was from Nampa. And when Mike Moyle (now the House Majority Leader) was asked in 2011 what he thought, he said it didn’t look good and that he would advise against it. I guess you could call it situational ethics. Earlier in May Congressman Labrador announced he was going to run for Governor. He probably figures it’s safer. He has a lot to run away from in the Congress. The phrase: “Nobody has died because he didn’t have access to health care,” tells all we need to know about him. Seth Meyers said, “That’s like saying ‘nobody died from falling out a window- it’s the pavement that does the damage.’” Raul knows that people will not remember what he said in May 2017 when they enter the voting booth in November 2018, but it is the duty of a free press to remind people. On the local scene we had good results in the LPOSD election on May Page 18
16. The slate of progressive candidates soundly defeated the ultraconservative candidates. It seems that there are some things Republicans, Democrats and Independents alike can agree on and that is that our kids come first. If the Legislature doesn’t do its job then the voters in the school districts will! There was only one race in the West Bonner School District and that was won by Sandy Brower over David Sears in a close race – 77 to 65. In the race for seats on the Board of the Pend Oreille
Here in the Middle
A retired Navy man, Gil Beyer has been active in local politics.
Hospital District we had an unusual occurrence. We had five candidates vying for five seats so everybody was a winner. The debate over the grocery tax continues. When 30 legislators went before the state supreme court in April and sued over the governor’s veto it started a slow motion donnybrook. The supreme court questioned some procedural errors on April 26 and gave the legislators until May 6 to correct them. This was done and then the governor’s attorneys threw a curve ball, questioning whether if the bill was even legal to begin with. According to the state constitution, all bills must originate in the House. The House bill that repealed the grocery tax was originally meant to modify tax rates, but when it got to the senate it was changed completely except for the bill number. Does that make it a different bill? If so, is it legal for a bill to start in the senate? The court decided on Monday, May 22, not to hear that argument unless
the bill became law. Now, being a legal neophyte, I think that if the House voted to pass the reconfigured bill it still originated in the House. But I’ll leave it to the Court to decide. We still have the original question for the Court to decide: Did Otter wait too long to veto the bill? Not if you believe the Court’s decision in 1978, which stated that the clock starts when the bill hits the Governor’s desk. This decision flies in the face of the Idaho Constitution which clearly states (Article IV section 10) the clock starts when the legislature adjourns. Otter’s argument is based on the premise that the Legislature could simply wait to send any bill until after the time has lapsed for a veto. That seems to be a little paranoid and ignores the fact that both he and the Legislature are ostensibly playing on the same team. We will await further news on this as oral arguments are not scheduled until Thursday, June 15. Stay tuned for further developments. I couldn’t close the month’s article without mentioning the goings on in Montana on Wednesday, May 24. We could call it the mugging heard ‘round the world or the Bozeman Brouhaha, but whatever you call it, it put the Montana congressional race in the forefront of national politics. The Republican candidate tells one story and the reporter tells another but the Republican candidate has been charged with assault and the Fox News crew that witnessed the incident said that at no time did the reporter make any aggressive moves. If you can’t believe Fox News who can you believe? But Gianforte won his congressional race. Granted his victory speech was apologetic but it seemed like one can now get away with assaulting the press with relative impunity. You can simply say a reporter’s questions are intrusive or rude and have him thrown out. How dare members of the press try and hide behind the First Amendment? Gianforte is just one of many, from the President on down, who have repeatedly tried to Continued on next page
June 2017
THE MOST INTERESTING MEN IN THE WORLD by A.C. Woolnough • acwooly@gmail.com
The Most Interesting Man in the World was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s and said, “I don’t always get a disease, but when I do there is no cure.” Not really, but that’s what passes as PD humor. Recently I met the real most interesting men in the world; yes, there are two of them! In February of this year, while reviewing research grants for the Department of Defense, I met one of the foremost scientists and PD researchers in the world. On that same trip, I was fortunate enough to meet the most fascinating musician in the world. I’ll start with Dr. David Sulzer of Columbia University. Although interesting and highly intelligent, he is also somewhat of a slacker—he is merely a professor in the departments of Psychiatry, Neurology and Pharmacology. In addition, he runs the Sulzer Lab. Having a laboratory named after you means you’re either damn good at what you do or are very wealthy and donate a lot of money. Turns out, Dr. Sulzer is that good; if he was rich, he’d be on an island in the Caribbean. When asked about three critical and current strands of research, Dr. Sulzer suggested that we need a way to identify people in the early stages of PD—long before tremors show up—a biomarker. Further, we still don’t know what the cause is or how the neurons (brain cells) die. Although we know bits and pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of Parkinson’s, we don’t know enough
Groceries, Cont’d make their truths the only truths we should hear. It won’t be long until we’ll have ‘1984’ in reality. In brighter news—a huge THANK YOU to everyone who dropped money into cans for our local Disabled American Veterans Audie Murphy Post, raising $2,200 to be used to support local vets. Until next month take care and watch your back.
to see the whole picture. Finally, the issue of people with advanced PD is an important area of inquiry. As an aside and apropos of nothing, Dr. Sulzer is the only person I’ve ever met whose wedding was announced in the society pages of the New York Times. Dr. Sulzer is a strong proponent of basic scientific research. Although
All Shook Up A.C. Woolnough is a member of PDF’s People with Parkinson’s Advisory Council some projects look for a lucky break, he believes success comes through painstaking and frequently frustrating years of methodical work—that’s how we got Levodopa (the gold standard of medication) and DBS (deep brain stimulation). If you are interested in medical research as a career, Dr. Sulzer suggests earning a combined MD/PhD. He is also brutally honest: science is hellishly hard, both to conduct and it is very hard to produce funding and make a living at it. We now shift to the musician, Dave Soldier. This man plays almost a dozen instruments, played guitar with Bo Diddley, has been in several rock bands, founded the Soldier String Quartet (a punk chamber group that plays with amplification and percussion), and produced numerous CDs including several for the Thai Elephant Orchestra. The Thai Elephant Orchestra? Yes. Special oversize instruments were constructed and pachyderm polyphonics resulted. Dave reported, “The elephants are a delight… dangerous sometimes, and sweet nearly all the time… a degree of intelligence we do not see in our domestic animals... . They have a sense of humor; whenever I would look away, one would suck water out of a glass and blow it on my head.”
Soldier combined his interest in math with his quirky sense of humor to create a 23-minute recording of Chopin’s Minute Waltz—the joke being that one musician was so bad, it took him 30 minutes to play it. On the same CD, he explored various mathematical functions applied to sound—including Fourier transforms, derivatives and integrals. [I don’t know what those are, either]. Amazingly, these CDs and others are available on Amazon—get yours today! If that’s not enough, Dave has also written scores for films (some by Andy Warhol) and for television (including Sesame Street). As if it were no big deal, Dave Soldier admitted he co-wrote two operas with Kurt Vonnegut—yes, that Kurt Vonnegut [Cat’s Cradle and Slaughterhouse Five]. Dave noted, “Kurt has terrible directions skills in driving and we have been lost for hours on the highway, with him (Vonnegut) telling long stories.” Why am I sharing these brief and disparate biographies in the same column? Some readers may have guessed by now the reason—Dr. David Sulzer and musician Dave Soldier are the same person. Together they are a true 21st century renaissance man. David/ Dave believes both science and music are impossible. “No matter how hard you try, you don’t really reach a point of satisfaction beyond a pretty temporary feeling. This may seem obvious for arts like music, but is genuinely true in scientific research, too. Anything that is obvious, you pass through in a flash, and then you end up at the next obstacle, stalling your motor until you think of a way to break down the obstacle—or go around it.” Dave Sulzer/Soldier is small in stature with a shaved head, slightly elfish appearance and very intense—think of Doc from Back to the Future, only bald. That, however, is not why I call him a MAD scientist. I do so with the deepest respect, admiration and appreciation because he is Making A Difference in the ongoing battle to defeat Parkinson’s.
June 2017
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A New Old River by Ernie Hawks • ernestmhawks@gmail.com The beach was mostly cobbles with some large rocks imbedded. Sand washed up with each tide but much of it drifted back into the surf, washing off the tops of the small rocks, leaving them surrounded with deposit. We were on a beach along the Strait of Juan de Fuca. As we walked, ahead we could see intense seagull and shore bird activity. Just off the coastline, a couple of mud islands served as a landing place for them. Bald eagles stood on them, holding fish in their talons. Approaching closer we could see a current flowing into the channel, reversing the flow of the tide between the incoming waves. And, the beach surface was shifting from small rocks with some sand to only sand. Just over a slight rise on the shoreline we saw the Elwha River entering the Sound. The birds we had been watching were working this stream. From the variety, the waters must have been providing a smorgasbord of royal quality. Occasionally, the head of a seal bobbed out of the water only to submerge and reappear a few yards upstream. There was little conflict amongst the birds, leading us to believe there was a bountiful feast for all. Where we stood the medium-sized river flowed through a sand and mud river mouth. Low vegetation grew on some of the higher mounds. It all looked rather new and somewhat temporary. It would not take much to change the whole scene, since the high places were only a few feet higher than the braided stream bed. It looks as if a minor flood would completely change the course of the river through the estuary and possibly those little islands just off shore as well. I had heard of the Elwha River several times but had not realized our vacation was going to be near it. Its source is the Elwha snow finger high in the Olympic Mountains within the borders of Olympic National Park. It flows about 45 miles and descends over 3,600 feet around and between snow- and glacier-capped peaks to its mouth on the Strait. Page 20
It serves as a spawning area for of birds we observed, all flying, fishing, all five native Pacific Salmon and four calling out their individual voices in a anadromous trout. At its peak, nearly cacophony of sound. Several islands have four hundred thousand salmon swim formed in the stream and on one was a upstream each year. large group of cormorants. Across the But it’s only recently recovering to river, which was flowing too fast and near those numbers. In the early 1900s deep to wade, was a stand of aspen filled two dams blocked the flow of the river with bald eagles. Standing in one place, and homeward travel of spawning fish: we counted over 20 watching us watch the 108 foot-tall Elwha dam was five them. Others were flying overhead and miles from the mouth and the 210 footseveral were on the ground. tall Glines Canyon Dam farther into the What has happened to the Elwha mountains. River from the building of, to the For over a century, sediment collected destruction of, the dams is another story in the bottom of the steep valleys under of the impact that human intervention in the pools behind these dams. the natural world can have. Both actions In 2011 work began to remove the created a significant impact on Nature Elwha dam. It is the largest dam removal and her creatures. Today, to see the project in history. It started in 1992 with river flowing naturally, the activity of the an act signed by then President Bush wildlife and habitat returning, seems like and ended with the total demolition of this is how it is intended to be. There is Glines Canyon Dam in 2014. The project a feeling of new energy in the valley; not is a huge outdoor, life sized, living just the energy of a living stream, but laboratory of a river recreating itself. It is the mountain energy from over 7,000 feet an environmental renewal venture larger above the shoreline is once again stirring than any ever taken on before. all the way to the sound. Above each of the former dam sites We didn’t take the time to hike all the the forests are reclaiming the sediment way to the former dam site. That will be terraces overlooking the now free-flowing another trip. There are trails that can be stream. Native animals of every size are accessed from the beach following the moving into or through the new valley river into the aspen, cottonwood and floor watersheds, leaving their prints and cedar woods toward the site. dens in the soil. Spawning fish numbers Back on the beach we realized that are getting closer to the former pre-dam it just may be the newest sandy beach counts. Most of the 70-mile watershed is in the area and an excellent wildlife in Olympic National Park. This protects viewing area. We only experienced an it from agricultural influence and the over-view of a place needing much more watercourse should remain pristine for time to fill all of our senses. years to come. All of this explains what we walked into while strolling on the beach. Much of that sediment blocked by the dams has moved downstream and created the Ernie Hawks is the author of “Every Day newly formed estuary. An ecosystem is a High Holy transforming itself from both the river Day: Stories of flow and the ocean tides. A sudden and consuming case of an Adventuring “what’s-over-there-itis” gripped us. Spirit,” available Wandering through the 70-acre estuary on Amazon, occupied the rest of the day. Getting Kindle or in upstream from the mouth, the recently your favorite moved deposit was heavier than the sand bookstore. below. We were in awe of the numbers
The Hawk’s Nest
June 2017
BECAUSE MORE THAN A QUARTER OF U.S. HOUSEHOLDS DON’T HAVE A COMPUTER WITH AN INTERNET CONNECTION
301 N. 1st Ave . Sandpoint (208)263.3622
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5/3/16 8:31 AM
The Summer Activity Guide Now Available! Summer activities include:
IN THE WATER: Jr. Lifeguarding (reg by Jun. 28) Synchronized swimming (reg. by Jun 30) Junior sailing (reg by Jul 12) ON THE COURTS: One week tennis lessons, start June 12 & 13, offered throughout the summer. Gymnastics, rhythmics and acrosports begins Jun 12. Taekwondo, karate and selfdefense (reg by Jul 25) IN THE WOODS: Walk 7B, Walk with Jane and summer hiking for teens. ON THE FIELD: Lacrosse (reg by June 30) There’s too much more to list! Stop by City Hall to pick up your copy of the guide, or browse through it online.
NEW THIS YEAR: REGISTER ONLINE! www.SandpointIdaho.gov 208-263-3613 • 1123 Lake St. in Sandpoint • Scholarships available June 2017
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by Scott Clawson Seldom in the soundtrack of home ownership does a woodpecker not get some form of immediate attention. One reason being that it often sounds as though it’s coming through the wall at any second, its head suddenly puncturing the sheet rock and cackling madly like a cartoon character. Reduce this home emergency by roughly 85 percent and what you have left over is a cute little annoyance called a Red Breasted Nuthatch. While working over last month’s epic tale and ‘toon of gardening misdemeanors, this sound (tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum)
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entered my world and would not leave. Not much more than an arm’s length from my skull, this incessant percussion beat against my normally stoic demeanor until I was forced to take matters into my own hands. In the form of a simple headset that I used to try to block it out. Not even close, not even after I plugged it into my ancient I-pod mini, brought up Dave and Steve Gordon’s Shaman’s Vision Journey and hit ‘play.” Along with all the groovy sounds of nature mixed with flutes and two guys trying to sound like human didgeridoos, in the background, keeping time with the frogs and crickets, was
that damned tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum. Coming to the point, peace and quiet are two key ingredients for low blood pressure, longevity and creative writing and both are generally pretty easy to come by around my house. Sometimes it’s so acute that I can hear black powder enthusiasts from as far away as Spirit Lake East! One can become so used to such peace and quiet that even a light tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, etc. can grate on one’s nerves like they were delicate little blocks of parmigiano reggiano. When the cheese is gone, look out. This is the moment when a guy might ask himself that most ancient of questions: “Shoes or slippers?” One naturally goes for the slippers, finding out not soon enough that he should’ve gone with boots, for it is late April outside and mud season is in full bloom. Then, one might find himself also feeling pretty silly for standing outside in his jammies while talking out loud and clearly admonishing a tiny pile of feathers perched high up near the peak of his roof and because it seems unfazed by the old guy’s presence, he waves his arms like an idiot and stomps a slippered foot in the cold mud to drive a surprising amount of it up his pant leg. This causes uncontrollable chatter from what sounds like two or three hundred other red-breasted nuthatches in the trees close by. Besides a wide assortment of warning signals, this cheering section has a rather mocking laugh in their vocabulary and they seem to know how best to use it to rattle and bruise the human ego. Glad that he’s finally found the perfect hobby, the nut on the house goes back to tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum. The one in the slippers goes back in the house to rethink options and change clothing. That one then ponders another question of antiquity: “Is it still a songbird when it suddenly becomes a miniature jack-hammer on the side of your home?”
June 2017
Of course it is, you silly ol’ coot! For it’s only a jackhammer long enough to become a tenant, full of life and happy birdsong as well as thoughts of making babies inside your walls. Now, one might also get to thinking that a constant threat of violence would thwart any serious nest building and especially romantic behavior, but then of course, one would be wrong. This violence escalated from cursive language in various octaves (having zero effect) to a combination of cursive screaming and demented fly swatter activity applied to the general inside area of the tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum. (causing only a slight pause and what sounded like a tiny bird chuckles). By then it was time for a short field trip to gather stones and find out just how bad one’s ‘arm’ has gotten over the decades. This caused massive, uncontrolled laughter from the trees at all the ineffective marksmanship displayed and a sincere prayer from the marksman that he hadn’t cracked a window when he heard a loud and distinct tink after a rather wildly embarrassing pitch. Next came a BB gun pistol, which improved the aim and bolstered the ego tremendously but garnered only startled looks and a short flight to a nearby tree, followed by nervous laughter all around.
We had so much fun, exercise and nervous laughter in this mode that we stuck with it for over a week and after nearly 2,500 round copper balls peened the soffits, trim and siding, they came to rest in the foliage and dark granite gravel around the house, glistening in the sun like shiny metal flake only rounder. Before purchasing another carton of BBs, I felt it was only natural at this point to seek professional counseling. So naturally I called the River Journal’s very own Mike Turnlund for advice. “Who?” he said, cordial as all getout. “You know, from the River Journal.” I said. “How’d you get my number?” “Bribery, blackmail or a restroom wall, I don’t recall. You aren’t in the book.” “What’s up?” he wondered openly. I described my problem with the tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum. “Have you tried dynamite?” he wondered on. “Not yet, I’m a little underinsured.” “Great! Then try a garden hose next time. Good luck!” and he hung up, presumably to write another article about bird watching without a tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum driving him to distraction and eventual
insanity. I went back to my perch and waited for the inevitable. Just as soon as a thought began to coalesce into graphite on my legal pad, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum resumed on the outside of the wall. Madness comes from such things as this, so I went outside and hosed myself down until I wasn’t mad anymore. This took only seconds! I went back to my drawing table, shivering and wet, and finished my story without interruption. Soon after, the birds all went away, presumably to pester some other writer working on a deadline. But not permanently it seems, as here I sit once again (a month later) with paper and pencil, the June issue on my mind, and what do you know, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, ad infinitum.
Acres n Pains
Scott Clawson ruminates on life somewhere in the backwoods of Careywood, and turns it all into humor. And he’s even on Pinterest now! (Facebook, too.)
AcresnPains@dishmail.net
June 2017
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