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THE RIVER JOURNAL
A News Magazine Worth Wading Through
• July 2015 •
~just going with the flow~ P.O. Box 151•Clark Fork, ID 83811 www.RiverJournal.com•208.255.6957 RiverJournalIdaho@gmail.com
STAFF Calm Center of Tranquility Trish Gannon • trishgannon@gmail.com
Ministry of Truth & Propaganda Jody Forest • dgree666@gmail.com
Sales & Other Stuff
On the Cover: Clark Fork’s East Spring Creek Road ends here, in the water. Photo by Misty Grage.
15. ORPHANED Nan Compton is on her way to the next great adventure. THE SCENIC ROUTE
6. END OF THE ROAD. A proposal to build a religious retreat opens up a controversy over road use that has implications throughout the county. Trish Gannon
16. LOVELY LAVENDER A magical cash crop that can add beauty to your yard - even when the heat is on. GET GROWING
10. THERE’S NO TURNING BACK NOW Amidst a public outcry after a massacre at an historic black church, Confederate flags come down. THE WAY I SEE IT
David Broughton• 208.290.6577 • davidcbroughton@gmail.com
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle Proudly printed at Griffin Publishing in Spokane, Wash. 509.534.3625 Contents of the River Journal are copyright 2015. Reproduction of any material, including original artwork and advertising, is prohibited. The River Journal is published the first week of each month and is distributed in over 16 communities in Sanders County, Montana, and Bonner, Boundary and Kootenai counties in Idaho. The River Journal is printed on 40 percent recycled paper with soy-based ink. We appreciate your efforts to recycle.
12. DON’T LET ME SERVE THE SOUP A former SHS principal journeys through Parkinson’s Disease. ALL SHOOK UP 13. MORE AFFECTED BY AGENT ORANGE The toxic exposure research act seeks to find out how our nation’s veterans have been inadvertantly damaged when fighting on our behalf. VETERANS’ NEWS 14. LOUIE LOUIE AND THE FBI The recent death of rocker Jack Ely leads Jody to investigate how a simple, rock and roll song was a target of Hoover’s FBI. SURREALIST RESEARCH BUREAU
17. BLACK-CHINNED HUMMER It’s hard to pick a favorite from the tiny beauties flitting through our yards, but this one is a beaut. A BIRD IN HAND 18. POPE FRANCIS’ CRASHING WAVE The recently released laudato si reiterates mankind’s role as guardians of the earth. GARY’S FAITH WALK 19. AN ACT OF TRUST No matter how frightening it might seem to be, sometimes you must simply step off into the abyss. THE HAWK’S NEST 20. HEY! Did you know raccoons can drive? You might think it could only happen to Scott, but there’s plenty of stories of critters “gone wild” in our area, and this is just an example. A hilarious example. ACRES N’ PAINS
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July 2015
Page
End
3a
of the
Road Clark Fork Road Dispute Highlights Access Issues
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3 4
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by Trish Gannon
2b 9
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2a 7
2 1 8
The map above was created using Bonner County’s online mapping application provided by the Geographic Information Systems in the Technology Department. These maps can show a large variety of data, including aerial views, topographic features, transportation lines, parcel information, subdivisions, administrative and zoning boundaries, trails and more. The maps provide general information and should not be used for precise measurements. The mapping application can be found online at http://maps.bonnercounty.us/apps/public/. Most information in this article is based on documents on file with Bonner County, and could change if further documents are found. Readers should be aware there are further easement issues in the case that follows that were not included due to space restrictions.
ate last year, residents in a rural area outside the town of Clark Fork were surprised to learn that one of their neighbors was planning to build a retreat that, according to the documents filed with the county, might bring as many as 70 cars per day to the area. They were even more surprised to learn that private easements through their properties were going to be used as access for the retreat, and they turned out in force to ask Planning and Zoning to deny the application. Although successful in preventing that approval, as they researched issues surrounding David Walker’s planned Shadow Valley Retreat, they uncovered a confusing mess regarding the area’s roads that has now pitted neighbor against neighbor, threatens one family’s home, has generated thousands of dollars in legal fees, and just as many headaches for Bonner County government, which is now the target of a “quiet title action” from one homeowner. As yet, there’s no solution in sight, and the East Spring Creek controversy highlights oversights that may indicate potential problems with legal access throughout the county. Responsibility for the current clouded situation can be apportioned in many directions. Page
July 2015
1
The problems begin here, approximately 3 miles from Hwy. 200, where Stoney Brooke Lane, a private access road, veers to the right off of East Spring Creek Road. Appearances are deceiving, because the condition of the private road is so much better. But Stoney Brooke once looked not very different than this portion of East Spring Creek does now: a rutted trail impassable in mud season that provided access to homes to the northeast. In 1998, the owners of seven properties through which the road passed entered into an exclusive mutual easement that encumbered 20 feet of land through their properties, to provide for a road and utility access to 20 specifically named parcels, all duly recorded with the county clerk. Stoney Brooke, one might say, was born. Where the road passes through each individual property, that particular property owner maintains the road. Six years later, in 2004, when David Walker decided to split up property he had received from his father and develop subdivisions, use of that road began to change—something most of those who were parties to the private agreement did not learn much about until late last year.
2
East Spring Creek is a county road that connects with Hwy. 200 just before the bridge entering Clark Fork. It was established in 1903, and currently the county maintains the
road up to the juncture with Stoney Brooke. But the road’s legal identity carries on to the northwest, where it eventually becomes West Spring Creek Road and exits into Hope, Idaho. East Spring Creek passes directly in front of David Walker’s home (2a), and beyond that, into two five-acre parcels that were sold to Liz Mathei (now Liz and Matt Deen) in 2010 (2b), and then into property beyond. The physical road, which aerial photos show as existing as far back as 1935, does not fully match the legal description of the road, which follows the section line; over the years, it has been called Brush Road and Shadow Valley Lane, as well as East Spring Creek. East Spring Creek Road was never given an instrument number. It is legal access for U.S. Forest Service property to the north and in 2003, at their request, the Bonner County Planning Department asked county commissioners to validate the road.
3
Although the physical portion of East Spring Creek road ends just past the northern edge of the Deen’s property, by description it continues through property now owned by Iris DeMauro. Just beyond the Deen’s home it plunges through overgrown forest and into the creek before meeting up with a private road constructed by DeMauro, then veers into and out of forest again, arriving at this pictured juncture with Spring Creek, where years ago a bridge existed. Beyond the creek, the road continues all the way to Hope. (On the map at left, the area marked 3a is a private road, though most in the area assumed it was West Spring Creek Rd. But it doesn’t become West Spring Creek until the juncture with the creek itself, a little over a half mile away. The beginning of West Spring Creek is further north than what is shown on the map at left.)
4
In 2002/’03, Walker approached Iris DeMauro, who owns substantial acreage in the area north of the Deen’s property and to the west of Stoney Brooke, regarding changing her access. The existing access to DeMauro’s property was via the county road (identified as Shadow Valley Lane), passing in front of Walker’s house. Walker wanted DeMauro to instead exercise her access via Stoney Brooke, which she was entitled to do as the owner of one of the named parcels in the 1998 agreement. DeMauro agreed, and at her own expense built Cherry Lane to connect East Spring Creek with Stoney Brooke to the east, although she retained her original easement.
5
Art and Betty Rosholt believe it was sometime in late 2004 when they got a call from a neighbor letting them know that David Walker was out in a backhoe, working on the road in front of their house. The Rosholts own the third parcel going north on Stoney Brooke, just beyond a piece previously owned by Wanda Conner, and a driveway access to the Rocha property. They were in Oklahoma when they got the call, and when they returned home they discovered the road in front of their house had expanded to around 22 feet without counting utility access. At the time, they took no action. But at no time to this day have they ever signed paperwork extending the legal access for road and utilities beyond a 20-foot width, nor have they extended access to any property beyond the 20 named parcels in that original 1998 agreement.
July 2015
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The newly improved Stoney Brooke Road, which connected to Cherry Lane, was later to be presented as access to properties almost a half mile away.
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6
DeMauro’s road improvement continued west of the now-disputed East Spring Creek Road onto the beginning of Sled Run Trail, where she has a shared easement with Walker, and there she constructed a $70,000 bridge where the road passes over Spring Creek. In return, according to a 2008 agreement (further amended in 2011), Walker was to pay $25,000 toward the cost of the bridge, and commercial traffic on the bridge was banned. On the 2011 amendment to the bridge agreement, DeMauro opened up use of the bridge to residents of the Liberty Heights subdivision, and further allowed its use to residents of Spring Creek Highlands if needed for emergency evacuation. But while David Walker has named access on Cherry Lane itself from East Spring Creek Road to Sled Run Trail, DeMauro does not recall ever giving access on Cherry Lane itself to the new Liberty Heights subdivision.
In 2006, Walker filed a preliminary plat for the Liberty Heights subdivision. The subdivision divided a 20-acre parcel into four, five-acre parcels. In the preliminary plat, access to the parcels was identified as Sled Run Trail, “... a 60-foot wide ingress/ egress easement...”. There was no mention how Liberty Heights residents would obtain access to Sled Run Trail. Later in the year, Walker filed preliminary plats for Liberty Heights 1st Addition and 2nd Addition. The 1st Addition subdivided 60 acres of land into 12 five-acre lots, while the 2nd Addition broke a 90.6 acre parcel into two unequal pieces. With these two plats, Walker expanded his description of access. “Sled Run Trail...” it says, “... is served by East Spring Creek Road and Stoney Brooke Road, a graveled 60foot wide ingress/egress easement.” The description now included access through a private easement it was not entitled to use, and described that 20foot private road and utility easement as a 60-foot gravelled road. When the county approved the preliminary plats, future residents of the Liberty Heights subdivision were, in practice, given access to their property through private property owned by the Rosholts—who had not even been informed that a subdivision was being approved, and who never agreed to a taking of their property. (The preliminary plat for Liberty Heights 2nd Addition repeated that access to the property would be through Stoney Brooke Lane.)
7
Also in 2004, Walker obtained a non-exclusive easement on the first portion of Stoney Brooke, owned then by Wanda Conner. That easement ends where the Rocha’s driveway meets with Stoney Brooke, before reaching the Rosholt property and Cherry Lane. Page
9
In the years since 2006, Walker declared bankruptcy and Liberty
Heights was taken over by the bank. He subdivided his homesite property on East Spring Creek Road/Shadow Valley Lane (the Sleepy Creek Subdivision), selling two five-acre pieces to Liz Manthei (who later married Matt Deen). And just this year, he was back before Planning and Zoning, asking to operate a “retreat” on property his family trust owns on Sled Run Trail. Many property owners from Liberty Heights and the Stoney Brooke area were aghast, and turned out in force to protest a plan that indicated the retreat could potentially bring 70 cars per day to their quiet, rural area. Planning and Zoning eventually turned down Walker’s retreat proposal, but before that happened, residents had begun digging into public records on the area. And residents on Stoney Brooke discovered, to their surprise, that even though a county road passed through Walker’s property, Stoney Brooke, their own private road, was named as the legal access to at least 19 parcels in Walker’s subdivisions.
10
The Rosholts, in particular, had had enough and Iris DeMauro, who had before supported all of Walker’s requests for easements, threw her support to residents of Stoney Brooke who had determined to take back their private road. But there was a fly in the ointment—Liz and Matt Deen. In her “letter of intended use” in her septic permit application, Liz indicated that a portion of a workshop on the property she had purchased was going to be converted to include a four-bedroom, two-bath home. That building, however, and therefore her current home, sat smack on top of the county’s potential 50-foot right of way for East Spring Creek Road, and the front door of her home is currently less than ten feet from the existing approximately 12-foot road. When converting any building to a residence, the county requires (and
July 2015
required then) a building location permit, but Deen says she was told by the department she “didn’t need” one. The Planning Department checks for information with the Geographic Information Services office regarding building location permits in order to identify easement/access/right-of-way issues, among other things. There is question whether the Deens already knew that the building they wanted to convert was sitting on a county road right-of-way, even though they deny this. A county official present at a meeting with the Deens this year says that Liz’s husband, Matt, admitted they knew it was a county road when they were in the process of building. (Matt Deen responded, saying that “doesn’t sound like something I would say,” and “that’s got to be a misunderstanding.”) Surveyor Alan Kiebert says he told the Walker family in 2003 that East Spring Creek was a county road, having discovered the information while working for the Forest Service,
who wanted to verify access before undertaking a land swap with Stimson Lumber. But somehow, that information regarding the description of East Spring Creek never seemed to go any further. And road right-of-way issues are not covered in the standard title insurance policy when someone purchases land.
11
Residents asked that the county re-open East Spring Creek Road. The Deens argued that the road passes through wetlands and could not be reconstructed, even though their own property, including fences and outbuildings, are located in the road access and wetlands area as shown on the plat map. Nonetheless, the county
re-opened the road. DeMauro, who owns an easement through the Deen’s property, came in and, at her own expense, repaired a bridge that crosses a seasonal creek after the Deen’s had removed timbers, claiming they were unsafe. The county has since replaced the bridge with a culvert. The Deens filed a lawsuit against the county to prevent the re-opening of the road, asking for $600,000 plus attorney fees in damages. Tired of what they saw as obstruction in their efforts to limit traffic on Stoney Brooke, the Rosholts placed a locked gate on their property to prevent access to Cherry Lane via Stoney Brooke, and provide keys only to properties that possess a legal easement. The Deens have responded by having their attorney send notice to the Rosholts and to the Foote family (the next property owner north on Stoney Brooke) of an intent to sue if the lock is not removed from the gate. As we go to press, there the issue sits and smoulders.
onner county officials are currently working to resolve the problem of access to the Liberty Heights Subdivision. They have notified the Deens they are open to changing the legal description of East Spring Creek Road so that it is not necessary to take down the Deen’s home. But it’s clear that in the end, somebody will lose something in order for residents of Liberty Heights to obtain unclouded access to their property. Beyond that, there is a need to address the underlying reasons for why these problems occur in the first place. “There are probably hundreds of homes in Bonner County right now that have legal road agreements coming right in their front door, and the owners don’t know about it,” said Ron Self, the Geographic Information Systems technician for the county. Self shared that he has pulled together thousands of road descriptions that were only recorded in Commissioner’s minutes. These documents are generally not accessed in title insurance, and Self encourages anyone purchasing property to come in to the GIS office in the old federal building and take a look at the information he has available. Surveyor Alan Kiebert estimated that right now, there are around 400 clouded easement problems that he is personally aware of in the county. And right here in Clark Fork, this same type of issue arose just a few years ago, when Verna Fergel learned that County Road
32, established in 1908, went through her property and was going to be used by Paul Trunnel in order to develop his own property adjacent to hers. That case went to the Idaho Supreme Court, which ruled that these types of roads remain public right-of-ways, regardless of whether people purchased property without knowing they existed. It is important that the gargantuan work of assigning an instrument number to the thousands of viewer reports establishing county roads be undertaken so that all right-of-ways on property are readily visible and verifiable. Viewer’s reports are found in Commissioner’s minutes dating back to the early 1900s. It would be in the interest not just of the county, but of title companies and surveyors to work together in this effort. The Deen’s situation also illustrates the need for improved communication between county departments. There
is no system in place whereby the assessor’s office, for example, would see improvements to a property and confirm that a building permit had been obtained, nor is the application for a septic permit tied in any way to the building permit. Nor does Bonner County require some form of occupancy permit that would tie these things together. Walker’s subdivision plats relied on easements that were not related to the property being developed. In today’s information age, there should be some way to easily identify related easements and right-of-ways that would automatically identify potential problems with access. Instead, Planning Director Clare Marley said in practice, the county relies on the professionalism of those making applications; this provides no oversight into the process, and no way to ensure that mistakes are caught in a timely fashion.
July 2015
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• The Way I See It David Keyes • There’s No Turning Back Now
It’s a fact the Civil War started at Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861. What isn’t so clear all of the sudden is if there is another chapter to be written about how the war ended. Stop the presses! Perhaps the act of a lunatic with a gun in mid June at an historic black church in Charleston, South Carolina, might have forced an addendum to dusty history books everywhere. I always thought the Civil War ended on April 9, 1865, when Gen. Robert E Lee surrendered his Confederate Army to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at the Appomattox Court House in Virginia. That fact is literally written in stone—actually, granite—on many statues and is memorized by any student of the Civil War. Could it be that a racist rant published by shooter Dylann Roof and the deaths of nine people might go down in history as more than just a bullet point in a long line of killers who used easy access to guns to shoot up elementary schools, movie theaters and the like? Roof asked Americans to start a race war and volunteered to fire the first shot. On his Facebook page he was photographed wearing a jacket with the Confederate flag on it. Let’s hope his evil act has lit an inextinguishable flame of cleaning up some of the racist remnants from the Civil War. Sometimes, sparks of justice come from unexpected sources. I am too young to remember the battle for civil rights for black Americans in the 1960s. I didn’t know much about Martin Luther King, the march on Selma, lynching, Rosa Parks
and the Ku Klux Klan. My lens as a white kid growing up in rural Montana gave me no insight into what it must have been like to be black and to be limited to where one could swim, eat, drink, live or even how one might earn a living. Instead, I grew up watching TV shows like the Dukes of Hazzard, which featured a car with the Confederate flag emblazoned across the top of it. Didn’t have a clue that the Duke boys and the curvy Daisy Duke were outrunning the law in a car that represented racism and intolerance to many people. I remember reading Alex Haley’s book Roots and watching the miniseries on TV. I admit it didn’t sink in—there were no black kids and only a few black people in or around Forsyth, Mont. back then, or today for that matter. I also don’t recall being prejudiced but I do remember hearing the “n word” come out of the mouths of friends and adults and thinking the utterance didn’t make any sense, rather than being offended by it. For some reason, the hate-filled, mass murder last week pushed folks to say it is time to eliminate a flag, a symbol and even statues of those who embraced bigotry. The widespread use of the Confederate flag is a reminder of a time when blacks were enslaved, pure and simple. Here is a brief roundup of some of what is going on: • Idaho - The Mississippi flag no longer flies in front of Boise City Hall. • South Carolina - Lawmakers discussed removing the Confederate battle flag from the Statehouse
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grounds, a day after Republican Gov. Nikki Haley called for the flag to come down. The flag has flown in front of the state Capitol for 15 years after being moved from atop the Statehouse dome. • Kentucky - Republican U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said his state must remove a statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis from the state Capitol’s rotunda. McConnell suggested a better place for the statue would be the Kentucky History Museum. Kentucky Senate President Robert Stivers said that he now favors removing the statue. The Republican nominee for governor, Matt Bevin, also agrees. Democratic nominee Jack Conway, state attorney general, said he agreed with Haley’s call to remove the flag but said he would have to think about whether to remove the Davis statue. • Mississippi - Leaders are divided on whether to alter the Mississippi flag, a corner of which is made up of the Confederate battle flag. House Speaker Philip Gunn said Monday that the emblem is offensive and must be removed. Mississippi voters voted 2-to1 in 2001 to keep the flag • Washington, D.C. - In the Capitol’s Statuary Hall, where each state gets to appoint two statues, Jefferson Davis stands as a representative of Mississippi — among several Confederate figures. The statues are selected by states, and Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said that rule puts them out of his purview. “I think that it would be important that we look at some of the statues that are here,” Reid said. • Virginia - Gov. Terry McAuliffe is moving to have the Confederate flag banished from state license plates. • Texas - The University of Texas president said the school would establish a panel of students, faculty and alumni to determine what to do with a statue of Confederacy President Jefferson Davis. Student leaders have asked to have it removed from campus. Vandals sprayed graffiti on the pedestal
July 2015
to the century-old statue. An online there will always be work to be done. It petition recently was launched to have is up to all of us to keep the momentum it removed and placed in a museum. going and to hold leaders accountable. The Texas Supreme Court ruled Yes, we can elect a black president, in June that the state was within its but he has also been subjected to rights to refuse to issue personalized unprecedented opposition, some of license plates showing the Confederate which has been racially tinged. flag. The court rejected a free-speech As I was writing this column, I read challenge. The Sons of Confederate that the toy company that produces Veterans had sought a Texas plate the Dukes of Hazzard’s General Lee bearing its logo with the battle flag. has recalled the cars and are now Similar plates are issued by eight producing them sans the rebel flag on other states that were members of the top. 208.263.4272 Confederacy and by Maryland. In There is clearly no turning back Virginia, McAuliffe cited this ruling in now. his call for banning the flag from plates David Keyes is the former publisher of the in his state. Bonner County Daily Bee, Bonners Ferry • Tennessee - Both Democratic Herald and Priest River Times and is the vice chairman of the Idaho Lottery. He can be reached and Republican lawmakers called for at: davidkeyes09@gmail.com. a bust of Nathan Bedford Forrest, a Confederate general and an early leader in the Ku Klux Klan, to be removed from an alcove outside the Senate chambers at the Statehouse. The bust, inscribed with the words Blended top soil • Organic “Confederate States Army,” has been at garden soil & compost • Cedar the Capitol for decades. raised beds • Cedar planter • North Carolina - Gov. Pat boxes • Rock (U-pick, we haul McCrory plans to ask the General & set) • Sand and Deco Bark Assembly to pass a law that would and more • U-haul or we haul • discontinue the use of the Confederate flag on specialty license plates for the Equipment rental available Confederate Veterans. Like those in Don’t Travel Miles... other states, the plate features the group’s logo, which has the flag. Check Out Our Piles! • Alabama - Rep. Alvin Holmes said Mon-Sat 8:00am to 5pm the state should remove Confederate Sun 9:00am to 3pm flags from the Alabama Capitol grounds. Holmes says he will file a legislative resolution to remove the huge selection of beautiful flags, which surround an 88-foot tall annuals, perennials, trees, Alabama Confederate Monument that shrubs, garden starts and was erected in 1898. Holmes led a hanging baskets. Open 8-5 successful fight in the 1990s to remove the Confederate flag from flying atop the Alabama Capitol dome. But the PLUS Annie’s Orchard other flags remain on the grounds. Antiques, Equipment • Maryland - Gov. Larry Hogan In the parking lot by Horizon Rentals and Kayak Rentals! opposes the use of the Confederate flag on the state’s license plates. Credit Union. Fresh fruit, Hwy 200 1 mile west of So why did it take a mass murder veggies, plants, special yard to be a lightning rod for action on the Clark Fork • 208-266-1245 art and more! 150th anniversary of the Civil War? And, like a bolt of lightning, will this enthusiastic effort to clean up some of the racist remnants of the Civil War just 300 Bonner Mall Way to go away as fast as it appeared? in Ponderay America has made great strides in BONNERMALL.COM race relations in the past few years but July 2015 Page 11
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common. Treatment includes drugs, voice and physical therapy, exercise and deep brain stimulation (via electrodes implanted in the brain). While that may seem discouraging, researchers are working hard to find the cause(s) of PD, ways to prevent the disease, and more effective treatments. As with many situations, a positive and optimistic attitude can make a huge difference. In addition, perhaps the best way to slow the progression of the disease is as simple as exercise! On a more personal level, there are several fascinating aspects of the disease. As a once-upon-a-time English teacher, I’m intrigued to learn the vocabulary associated with PD and its treatment. For example, by the time my tremors began, about half of the neurons that produce dopamine in the substantia nigra region of the basal ganglia of my brain had already died— gone forever. In an effort to mediate this loss of dopamine, one of the most common medications is a combination of levodopa and carbidopa called Sinemet. So far I’m fortunate to have only experienced tremors, loss of sense of smell and some mild sleep disorders. In future columns, I’ll share information on research, clinical trials, treatments, support groups, meeting our Idaho Congressional delegation and fund raising opportunities. But in the meantime—don’t let me serve the soup! A.C. Woolnough has spent a lifetime in education, including a stint as principal at Sandpoint High School. After an adventure as a school administer [or, simply: “principal”] in Alaska, he has returned to Sandpoint and is currently serving the Parkinson’s Disease Foundation as both a Research Associate and a member of the People with Parkinson’s Advisory Council. In addition, he is the Assistant State Director for the Parkinson’s Action Network.
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July 2015
• Veterans’ News Gil Beyer ETC, USN Ret. • More Affected by Agent Orange
We’ll start this month with a brief recap of the Memorial Day DAV ForGet-Me-Not fundraiser. The ‘Thanks’ have already been given and the total take has been reported but I need to spread the word about our volunteers. The sixteen volunteers who each worked a 2 hour shift really came from all walks of life. There were working people, retirees, veterans and non-vets, Left and Right, men and women and more. In others words these volunteers represented a good cross section of North Idaho’s people. They all came together in a great cause: supporting our area veterans. As one of the less than 1 percent of our national population that has worn a uniform in service to this country I salute every one of these volunteers. The “Toxic Exposure Research Act of 2015” is a phrase that doesn’t exactly roll off one’s tongue but for everyone that served in or near Viet Nam it represents hope. It appears that, thanks to the efforts of Sens.
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Richard Blumenthal, D-Conn. and Jerry Moran, R-Kan., and Reps. Dan Benishek, R-Mich., Mike Honda, D-Calif. and Elizabeth Esty, D-Conn., progress may be coming on this oft ignored and hidden problem. It is bad enough that those who served in Viet Nam have suffered illnesses and diseases, but now it appears there is evidence their children and grandchildren are being afflicted also. “There’s nothing worse than having a child who is ill and you wonder why. The fact that you may have been responsible for that child’s hurt and pain... it’s very difficult to live with.” Bernard Edelman - an Army vet who is now deputy director for policy and government affairs with Vietnam Veterans of America. I intend to follow this bill and report on its fate in a Congress that has demonstrated a monumental inertia towards getting things done, especially for veterans. On the good news front it appears that the VA has finally accepted the fact that Air Force personnel – both active and reserve – were exposed to residue from Agent Orange while flying C-123 aircraft long after that plane’s service in the skies over Viet Nam. And, that exposure was sufficient cause to grant VA benefits for those two thousand plus service members. On the bad news front, this decision
for C-123 personnel—expected to be announced within days—does not affect the 200,000-plus Navy personnel who served in or near the rivers and deltas of Viet Nam. “If they do cover the C-123 guys and not us, we would feel very slighted,” said John Paul Rossie, executive director of the Blue Water Navy Vietnam Veterans Association, pledging a renewed push for benefits. Stay tuned—the fight is ongoing. I’ll closer this month’s piece with a recap of local scheduled events. I’ve been told that the ‘Stand Down’ has been cancelled for logistical reasons. So here’s what I’ve got right now. - Veterans Annual Yard Sale August 1 at the Sandpoint VFW Hall. Contact Mike and Ann Rhoads if you have items to donate. Funds go to assist Veterans in Need. - Career and Resource Fair – presented by Inland Northwest Hiring Heroes on August 27 at the Spokane County Fair & Expo Center, 404 N. Havana, Spokane, WA - Honor Flight Breakfast Fundraiser September 12 at VFW Hall. Contact is George Eskridge 265-0123 - 8th Annual Elks Patriotic Golf Scramble on September 20. If you would like to be a hole sponsor please contact local Veterans organizations. Until next month, take care and remember to support and respect our active duty service men and women. They go in harm’s way so that you can live in freedom.
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July 2015
Page 13
Crazy Days July 25 • Downtown Sandpoint
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Page 14
• Surrealist Research Bureau
Jody Forest •
Louie Louie and the FBI
It’s the most widely recorded song in Rock and Roll history (according to Guiness). Among the giants who’ve tried their chops on it are such luminaries as the Beatles, Beach Boys and Byrds (just to name a few of the B’s). The Kingsmen, a fledgling garage band from Portland, Oregon in 1963, paid $50 to a small local studio to record their version with the band members all sharing the cost. (On Sept. 5, 2013, the Portland city fathers dedicated a plaque at the location, 411 SW 13th ave. to mark the occasion). It was recorded in one fiery, intense take and is also historically noteworthy as being the last “American” #1 hit on Cashbox before the Beatles “I Want to Hold Your Hand” opened the floodgates of the British Invasion. Perhaps the quirkiest aspect of “Louie’s” legend is the fact that the FBI investigated the band and the song itself for three years when J. Edgar Hoover became convinced the lyrics were somehow laced with obscenity. After the first year the FBI concluded the lyrics were simply garbled and unintelligible, but Hoover insisted they continue and the madness went on. Many radio stations across the country banned the song outright and in many other locales it was prohibited from being aired in public, including Indiana, where it was personally vetoed by then Gov. Matt Welsh. Ironically, the FBI investigation finally ended only when an agent had the bright idea of simply walking the two blocks to the U.S. Copyright Office and asking to see a copy of the registered song lyrics. The controversy still sputters forth occasionally, as in 2005 when the Benton Harbor, Michigan school Superintendent refused to let the marching band play the song during a parade. The sad reason for the song’s
unintelligible lyrics (according to the FBI anyway, I’ve never had any problem making them out) were twofold: first, the young lead singer Jack Ely had just had a new set of braces fitted on his teeth and he wasn’t used to them. Then, the sound engineer had placed the studio’s only microphone several feet above the singer’s head so he had to jump and hop on high to sing his verses. The phenomena shows no signs of slowing down. A failed effort to name “Louie Louie” as Washington State’s official state song (replacing Washington, My Home) led to the annual April 12 “Louie Louie” Day in Tacoma and Seattle, where as many as 1,000 guitars strum the chords in unison annually. Sadly, the song’s writer, Richard Berry sold the publishing and songwriting rights to a corporation in 1959 for a mere $750. The song’s a staple in movies, from its use in classics like American Graffiti and Animal House to scores of lesser known known films like Quadrophenia, Wayne’s World, Friday Night Lights and Sherlock Holmes. It’s also been in at least three episodes of the Simpsons television show. It’s also played during the 7th inning stretch at all Seattle Mariners home games. What a strange odyssey for a garage band’s one-take wonder, recorded for a mere $50. The band’s vocalist Jack Ely died just two months ago, which is why I bring this all to your attention now. RIP. Well, me gotta’ go now, so with the vermouth-lipped duck of doubt slowly roasting in my oven of truth, I bid you adieu. Keep spreading the word; Soylent Green is People! All Homage to Xena!
July 2015
• The Scenic Route
Orphaned
Comes a time in many lives when we find ourselves orphaned. Some of us — most of us — are blessed with waiting until we are well-grown when that happens, which might make it somewhat easier, but might not. In our case, it was a combination. We lost our dad in 1986. It was a long and drawn-out affair, and no fun for anyone. Now, we have lost our mother. It was simple, sweet and to the point. Mom left a short week after she was notified she would be leaving shortly. She wasn’t necessarily happy about that. At some moments, she was downright angry; at least once because it was coming on so quickly, and at least once because it was taking so long. She asked to be at home, and we saw to it that she was. She gave us a short list of music for her memorial service, banning “In The Garden” in favor of “I’ll Fly Away.” She at one point yelled at my sister, who’s only sin was doing a yeoman’s job of taking care of her, and did until the very end. In that end, we couldn’t know how she was feeling, because she lost her ability to communicate. But, we didn’t lose the ability to communicate with
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Sandy Compton •
her. There is an idea that the last sense to fail is hearing. Each of her close family told her goodbye in their own way, and some of her friends as well. Once all her children were gathered, as well as grandchildren and great grandchildren, she took her leave. But not before we had a family concert in her bedroom. She has, by a few simple acts, made her transition easier for all of us. First, she prepaid her undertaking expenses years ago. It’s worth every penny. Second, she divested herself of all her real property. This means we don’t have to go through a probate process. Third, she wrote out a list of family members and the important personal items each is to have. This means we don’t have to argue about Bessie Loman’s paintings or the piano. I don’t think I knew my mother as well as some of her friends did. She was in some ways, the “strong silent type.” However, she and I had some spectacular fights about important things, matters of will and “who’s-incharge-here.” And at least one meltdown about nothing brought on by too much time in the same automobile on each of the long road-trips we undertook together. One of the nicest things my mother said to me was, “I love you, but sometimes I don’t like you very much.” That might seem harsh, but it was also
completely honest; and it showed me that she trusted me enough to tell me the truth. It was after one of our big battles about important things, and I think it was the last one we had. And, in the end, we found that we liked each other just fine. I have a theory that we don’t become truly adult until we settle with our parents. It’s probably not my theory, really, but I have adopted it. What I mean by that is that we have accepted our parents for who they are, and have stopped modifying our behavior to please them — or to manipulate them in any way. We have forgiven them their mistakes and hopefully asked their forgiveness for ours. We have cast off any reins of control they might once have exerted over us. When this happens, if we’re lucky, it’s opportunity to have a deeper relationship with each other. If we’re extra lucky, we and they get to fully recognize that we are great blessings to each other. I think we have achieved that. One of my favorite family pictures shows out mother in a chair with all of her children and grandchildren standing around her. We are all looking at the camera, we all have our eyes open, and we are all smiling to one extent or another; some more than others, but still smiling. Not a one of us is leaning on another. We are standing erect and squarely on our own two feet. That is our mother’s greatest gift to us. Some of my friends are amazed that we all seem to be “taking it so well.” Well, me too. But I’m not unhappy about that. We will miss her, but by making this dying process completely transparent, we are also able to do the processing. Even the little greatgrandkids were welcome in the room with her as she faded away. Death of the sort my mother experienced, and us with her, is not something we need to hide or hide from. It is a final step and a first step. There is nothing to fear. Sandy Compton’s newest book comes out this month. Order The Scenic Route: Life on the Road between Hope and Paradise at BlueCreekPress.com or from your local bookseller.
July 2015
Page 15
• Get Growing Nancy Hastings • lavender plant. If you are looking for a “hedge row” look, be careful also not to plant too closely or they will choke each other out. Plan for at least 24 inches between plants and be Lovely Lavender patient. Lavenders are slow growers when they are small.
There is something magnetic about a deep purple Seeding lavender sounds economical but will promise to be swath of lavender gently swaying in the breeze. Who can most time consuming and unreliable. Even good sized plants pass up bending over to stroke or stick their nose in this take about 3 years to hit their optimum growth pattern. aromatic botanical? You can use it for sachets in your home, After you have enjoyed your flower stems and they turn press it for the oil to be used in tinctures for burns, scars brown, you will cut back and prune the lavender about 2-3 or perfumes, and even cook with it for a gourmet treat. inches below the flower wands into the green leafy growth Its fragrance is legendary and fortunately deer-resistant, with a clippers to encourage regrowth and possibly some drought resistant once established, and a pollinating magnet new flowers. Never prune back a lavender down harshly to for the bees and the butterflies. The challenge we have up its woody base. here in the North Country is selecting the right plants for And lastly, although drought–tolerant once established, our area since like last year—even though a “mild” winter— they do need some water to bloom well and support the many gardeners lost some of their plants due to a very early plants throughout the year. During hot dry stretches, deep November cold spell without any snow cover protection on water once a week and let the plants thoroughly dry out the plants. between watering. The hardiest lavenders are the English Lavenders or If you want to check out some local fun, flowers and Lavandula angustifolia; they are also the first to bloom in the artisans, don’t miss the Lavender Festival in Newport, summer lavender parade. Munstead and Hidcote are the Washington July 11 and 12! Nancy Hastings grew up on a 300+-acre farm and now is co-owner of easiest to grow here with the Munstead tolerating the most summer heat at about 18 inches high. Hidcote is a bit smaller All Seasons Garden and Floral in Sandpoint. She and her husband John have been cultivating community gardens and growing for 16 years in in stature only 12 to 16 inches tall but is prized for its deep North Idaho. You can reach them with garden questions or sign up for purple blossoms that hold their color once cut and can take classes at allseasonsgardenandfloral (at)gmail.com. our cooler summers. Jean Davis is a pink hardy lavender that is prized not only for its unique color, but also its full flavor in recipes. The Lavandins are the new kids on the block as a result of cross breeding and field trials; this set of lavenders tend to be taller than the angustifoliums. Grosso Lavender makes a great sturdy hedge along walkways with such large deep purple flower heads it is sometimes called “Fat Spike.” This stalk makes it a crafter favorite because its wands dry strong for decorating and its amazing oil content holds up even after it is dry. Provence is the famous, old-world French classic with valuable oils used in Europe for perfumes. Provence blooms are slightly paler than the Grosso lavender but the plant is a little more tolerant of our damp, cool springs. The heads of the Provence plants pop off easily, great for potpourri, but not for dried bouquets. Fred Boutin Lavender, discovered just in the 1980s, is a long-stemmed beauty with a medium purple flower. It has very silvery leaves and excellent fragrance. The most recent introduction in 2012 of a new hardy Lavender is truly “Phenomenal.” This tall drink of water lives up to its name, growing 24-32 inches high with large strong stalks and heads of bold color that dry wel. It can even re-bloom in late summer or early fall if the weather is exceptionally good. The best part for our region is it’s proving to be even more winter hardy and has higher disease resistance than the Munstead and Hidcote. Good drainage is a must for all lavenders, especially if you are in our region with heavy clay. You will need to position your lavender in a raised bed filled with high drainage soil so the plants don’t rot. Even though lavenders hate weeds and mulching helps to stifle the weeds, be sure not to pile a lot of mulch or bark covering right next to the neck of the Page 16 July 2015
• A Bird in Hand
Michael Turnlund •
Black-Chinned Hummingbird: our most elegant hummer
I’m a high school teacher and our school frequently gets to enjoy the experience of hosting foreign students, the vast majority of whom come from Europe. I always make it a point to share with my exchange students the wonders of hummingbirds. Remember, hummingbirds are limited to the Americas and there is nothing else quite like them in the animal kingdom. Except for maybe some big bugs. The greatest variety of hummingbirds species are found, as one might suspect, in the tropics. Compared to the tropics, our temperate region suffers from a dearth of hummingbird species. Still, you take what you’re given, and if you look carefully you discover that there is a surprising number of species flitting about our area. In fact, except for the warm arid regions of the Southwest, we enjoy a greater variety of species than any other region of the United States and Canada. These include most commonly the Rufous, the Calliope, and the Black-chinned, and less commonly the Broad-tailed and the Anna’s. That’s quite a large number of species nesting or migrating through our area. And one of the most fascinating of these is the subject for this month’s Bird In Hand: the Black-chinned hummingbird. For me, this little hummer is not only one of the most distinctive, it is also the most elegant. It is also very easy to identify, as its name betrays it. The bird is named for the adult male’s unusual coloration. The male does indeed sport a black chin, as well as a completely black head. No other hummingbird in our region will be so colored. The rest of his body will be white on the front side and green on the back. But there is more and this is the cool part. If you just happen to catch the male in the right light, as when he might be flying or facing toward you in bright sunlight, you’ll spy a fantastically colored band of
metallic purple-blue at the base of his black “chin.” This is the little fellow’s gorget, with which he uses to both challenge other males and court the ladies. It is infrequently seen and then only fleetingly, but it is unnatural in hue—never seen except for maybe some exotic butterfly or beetle. The female is as covertly colored as other female hummingbird species, with predominantly drab whites and greens, front and back respectively. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to add her to your bird species life list. Note the bird’s build. This is why I described above the Black-chinned as being elegant. Unlike the other hummingbird species in our area, all constructed like flying fireplugs, our bird of the month is slim and sleek. Note the smallish looking head, the long neck, and the leaner frame. If you note a female humming bird at your nectar feeder that appears unusually long and lean, it is probably a Blackchinned. The Black-chinned is a western bird and our area is about as far north as it goes for breeding. It spends the winters in southern and western Mexico. As with other species of hummingbirds, the Black-chinned lives heavily on flower nectar, but also consumes a lot of insects. Indeed, there are times when it might live predominantly on spiders
and bugs; most of that latter it captures on the wing. And, also typical of other hummingbird species, the mother is a single parent, raising her brood (typically of two) by herself. She is very economical and will often reuse a nest from a prior breeding season. The nest is constructed of spider’s silk and lichen. The Black-chinned hummingbird is an adaptable species and will exploit a variety of habitats, from semi-arid regions to the mountains, from wooded areas to urban neighborhoods. This probably helps to explain its high population numbers—numbers, by the way, which are growing, probably due to the popularity of backyard sugar-water feeders. Hummingbirds in general are surprisingly long-lived critters. Typically, smaller animals have shorter life spans than larger animals, e.g. mice versus dogs. Many different hummingbird species have proven life spans of many years, with the oldest recorded Blackchinned having lived over 10 years. That is a long time for such a little animal with a crazy high heart beat. It’s no wonder that they live predominantly on sugar water! There you go, another hummingbird species to add to your base knowledge of birds. Wow, you’re getting pretty smart! Keep up the hard work, and happy birding! Have a question to ask or a comment to share? You can write me at mturnlund@ gmail.com. I also have a website where I post pictures of birds that I’ve captured with my digital camera. You can find them at birdsidaho.blogspot.com.
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July 2015
Page 17
• Gary’s Faith Walk
Gary Payton •
Pope Francis’ Crashing Wave
Have you ever stood on the seashore captured by the wonder of ocean swells and crashing waves? There is a moment when a giant swell pitches over, a great wall of white foam drops, and the huge wave plunges on in a powerful, dramatic rush to the beach. I had such a moment in late June. For me, it was the release by Pope Francis of “Laudato Si” or “Praise Be to You” subtitled “On Care for Our Common Home.” The encyclical, or teaching document, addresses climate and environmental degradation, risks to the poor, our economic system, renewable energy sources, and our relationship with God’s creation. As Bill McKibben, acclaimed environmental writer, noted, “(the Pope has) brought the full weight of the spiritual order to bear on the global threat posed by climate change, and in so doing joined its power with the scientific order.” The encyclical is 184 pages of poetic language, solid science, and caring reflection on how we ought to be in better relationship with each other and creation. In his own words, Pope Francis writes: “These situations have caused sister earth, along with all the abandoned of our world, to cry out, pleading that we take another course. Never have we so hurt and mistreated our common home as we have in the last two hundred years.” “We know that technology based on the use of highly polluting fossil fuels—especially coal, but also oil and, to a lesser degree, gas—needs to be progressively replaced delay.” increase nutrients, suchwithout as nitrogen and “We have to realize that a true ecological approach becomes This septic pilotalways project is being a introduced social approach; it to must integrate in order comply with water questions of justice as in determined debates on the quality standards by the environment, as to hear both the cry Federal CleansoWater Act. Designated to ofprotect the earth and the cry the poor.” water quality, theofplan, known as the Maximum broadest perspective, a In “Total Daily Load”the for Lake pope to all humanity, no Pendreached Oreille,out addresses nutrient issues matter one’s religious affiliation, with a call to to address climatelakeshore change, In action addition, many itshomeowners impacts, andparticipated to “turn as fast as we in a survey can oil, andagas.” More in from 2007 coal, concerning variety of water narrowly, he added quality issues. As his is authoritative turns out, their
moral voice as global governments prepare for the UN summit in Paris in December. After a series of failed efforts, the goal of Paris is an accord where every nation will commit to limiting greenhouse gas emissions. For me, Pope Francis’ encyclical was the crashing, white foam wave rushing shoreward carrying the full momentum of his and other religious voices. The Dalai Lama, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism, has told us: “Human activity everywhere is hastening to destroy key elements of the natural ecosystems all living beings depend on... We must deal with the prospect of global suffering and environmental degradation unlike anything in human history... If we begin to act with genuine compassion for all, we still have a window of opportunity to protect each other and our natural environment.” Reformed Jewish leaders have told us: “The Earth cannot sustain the levels of resource exploitation currently maintained by the developed world... the developed world should promote the use of renewable energy sources and new technologies, so that developing nations do not face the same environmental challenges that we face today... Together, the people of the world can, and must, use our God-given gifts to develop innovative strategies to meet the needs of all who currently dwell on this planet, without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs.” Islamic scholars have told us: “The power given man by God Council website at to tristatecouncil.org.
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is seen in Islam to be limited by the responsibilities he bears, not only toward God and other men and women, but also toward the rest of creation... If biologists believe that humans are the greatest agents of ecological change on the surface of the earth, is it not humans who, drawn from the brink, will—for their own good—abandon Mammon and listen to the prescriptions of God on the conservation of their environment and the environment of all the creatures on earth? The Islamic answer to this question is decisively in the affirmative.” When we in the North Country “hear both the cry of the earth and the cry of the poor,” we have opportunities to act. Until August 24, we may share our concerns with the U.S. Surface Transportation Board on the proposed Tongue River Railroad, a new Montana rail line which would carry millions of tons of coal from the proposed Otter Creek Mine through our communities to coal fired power plants in East Asia. We may prepare our testimony for the Spokane hearing on the proposed oil transfer terminal in Vancouver, Washington, a facility which will draw dozens more dangerous crude oil trains through our communities. We can find new ways to support Sandpoint’s own Solar Roadways project via Indiegogo as it moves us toward a new, energygenerating future. And, so much more. In my faith walk, the crashing wave of “Laudato Si” carries me forward in hope. May it be so for you as well.
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Page 18 Through | www.RiverJournal.com Worth Wading | Vol 17 No. 18 | November 2008 | Page 5
July 2015
• The Hawk’s Nest
It’s All About Trust
Until you step off the edge you can not fly. Eleven years ago today (as I write this), Linda and I chose to publicly proclaim our love and support for each other. We were with friends and family, from all across the country, and there were joyous festivities as we joined in marriage. A major component of an announcement like that was an agreement to trust. To trust each other, trust our friends and family, and to trust in the benefits our system of government affords married couples. On the same day as our anniversary, the Supreme Court of the United States said everyone has a right to marry the person they love. Now, everyone can trust that same system. It is easy to look at marriage as a metaphor for stepping off the edge. I must admit, I cringe at comparing physical danger and matrimony, but often the association is made. It emphasizes the need for trust in nearly everything we do. We were not thinking about that comparison when we signed up to do the Timberline Adventure’s Zip-line tour as a way to celebrate eleven years of marriage. We just thought it would be another wonderful adventure as we commemorated the date. As I watched Linda fly off on the first line I thought, “I will not fly until I step off the edge.” With adrenaline flowing, I watched a turkey vulture as it flew overhead, watching me, then I lifted my feet, safely planted on a platform, and began to fly. Quickly, I realized I was holding onto the handlebars with a death grip I did not have the strength to maintain for
Ernie Hawks •
all seven lines. I relaxed my grip and felt my body set down in the harness I was wearing that was attached to the line. All of it was designed to be stressed to several thousand times my weight. Trust. About six hundred feet later and nearly twenty feet off the ground I was reunited with my partner of eleven years and we both were excited and enthusiastic zip-liners. Over the next six rides we traveled close to a mile and one time, at the bottom, the turkey vulture returned, disappointed. Our dress for the day was quite different than it was eleven years ago. It included a halter used by climbers and other extreme sports ventures, which was surprisingly comfortable and held us without much energy on our part. I did not feel I was really living up to the meaning of extreme sport since that usually means death is very possible. With the equipment we were
provided and the excellent skills of our guides, Sam and Jerry, I always knew I was safe. Trust. The courses not only
let us fly but we rappeled twice: one was twenty feet and the second thirty. We crossed two footbridges suspended high above the grasses and ferns on the forest floor. But mostly we enjoyed views of Coeur d’Alene Lake and the surrounding area that were normally reserved for high-flying birds. Each step off the edge required an affirmation in trust, yet each was a delightful experience. The highest platform we landed on and flew off of was eighty-five feet up in an old Ponderosa pine. Just like eagles we would land, greet the others in our party, then fly off to the next landing. One was eight hundred feet, one was one thousand feet and one was sixteen hundred feet long; for reference, a quarter of a mile is 1,320 feet. At mid point of the last one we were four hundred feet up—a great place to check out those views—and to affirm that trust. Linda and I have had many great adventures together, some planned some not, and we felt the zipline was a perfect way to celebrate for ourselves and for our nation. And we trust all is still in perfect order. Ernie Hawks is the author of “Every Day is a High Holy Day: Stories of an Adventuring Spirit” available at your favorite bookstore, Amazon.com, or on Kindle. ernestmhawks@gmail.com. WATERFRONT • RESIDENTIAL • ACREAGE • COMMERCIAL Want to try to fly yourself? Learn Buying or selling, our experienced staff can help make more about Timberline Adventures your real estate dreams come true! in Coeur d’Alene on the web at ziptimberline.com or email info@ 113 Cedar St. Sandpoint • 208.263.3167 • CMBrewster.com ziptimberline.com July 2015 Page 19
• Acres n’ Pains
Scott Clawson •
Hey!
This, I learned almost in my sleep; raccoons can drive! Although not particularly good drivers, they, like some humans, are at least capable of using turn signals. Let me explain. Being a fan of streamlined processes, and with that, less fettered progress through life, I used to keep the keys to my rig in the ignition. Not only was I sick and tired of hearing, ”Where the Hell’s my truck keys?!” every time I needed to go somewhere, but as a volunteer fireman, I’d found out how embarrassing it was to show up at the local station gasping for breath and needing oxygen for lack of a stupid set of keys. And fire trucks always have their keys in the ignition for whenever they need to go somewhere. My precedent. Then, early one morning as I was pulling up my wits for the day ahead, I heard my rig start up without me in it. At first, I thought I must still be dreaming until a zipper completely removed that theory from the scope of available possibilities. By now, my wife was wide-awake as well and trying to determine, a: why my truck was running and, b: why might there be a whirling dervish in our bedroom
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chanting obscure phrases through clenched teeth. I whirled, clenched and chanted my way out to the kitchen window, where I saw a big, fluffy, ringed tail slide through the open back window of my pickup, joining two more in the cab. Another was still on the tonneau cover, with a couple more playing ‘patty cake’ on the roof. The raccoon attached to the tail going through the window hopped over the console and put a paw on the gas pedal. It looked up at what I assumed was his brother, smiled and goosed my idling engine. “HEY!” I screeched for the first time that morning, all done with chanting, at least for the moment. Sound carries remarkably well in the early morning air and the raccoon standing in the driver’s seat, one paw on the wheel and the other gripping the shifter, heard me, gave a glance back over his shoulder at the screeching mug in the window, and I swear, with a toothy grin, he carefully dropped the stick into reverse! In the sudden jolt, however, he lost his footing and dropped the shifter all the way down to low just before his very sharp rear claws got traction on his sibling’s fuzzy butt. This caused a little turmoil on the floorboard (not to mention my transmission) unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed, even from our kitchen window, which is saying quite a bit. Gas, brakes, gas, wipers, brakes, horn, left turn, right turn, gas, brakes, door locks, windows down, more horn, gas, brakes, gas, brakes, fourway flashers, windows up then down again, radio, gas,
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starter (prompting more chanting through clenched teeth) and more horn, all as though choreographed by some higher intelligence; almost an exact reenactment of my own ‘first time behind the wheel’, complete with most of the same foul language I’d heard my mom yell even then! Normally, I’d be upset or even beside myself at this point but under the circumstances I settled for unbridled exuberance. Anything more than that (like panic for instance) would have required shoes and I had no time for frivolity. My truck was leaving the driveway in full commotion by the time the soles of my bare feet acknowledged that I was indeed running in cold and unforgiving gravel. Slowing down to apply alternating condolences to one or the other of them while extricating sharp objects, I noticed I was somehow gaining on the party going down my hill, lurching, bobbing, swerving, flashing and honking in the early
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morning tranquility. A sudden turn of events: well okay, the steering wheel, with a revolving raccoon on it, caught a rut and headed the whole mess into the daisies, thistle and knapweed with me hopping along behind and screeching, “Hey, OW, Hey, OW, OW!” for the next dozen or more times that morning. The raccoon on the wheel, either by inertia or seeing an opportunity he liked, bailed out of the open window, spinning the direction of the truck into an even bigger thicket of brush, thistle and startled grouse. From the album “Fearless,” Hoyt Axton started crooning out of the CD player in that great low voice of his, “The black raccoon, by the light of the moon…” This is where it got interesting, if only for me. As I climbed over the tonneau cover and got half way through the back window, I came face to muzzle with one of the masked bandits. It smiled politely, removed my glasses, folding them correctly and tossed ‘em out a side window, “Hey!” being the only response I could screech one last time as all I saw after that was a blurry fuzz-ball scrambling out the way I was still entering, taking my hat and my pride with him. “…and the raccoon loved the show,” finished Hoyt, as I reached for the keys and shut my truck off. A few days later, I asked my neighbor if he ever leaves his keys in the ignition. By the look he gave me, I could tell I’d worded that incorrectly, then his eyebrows went up from a sudden jolt of memory, “As a matter of fact, NO! I DON’T!” “Funny you should ask though, do you?” he added, once his adrenalin calmed down. “Not since a few days ago!” I spat, my brow dancing as well. “Raccoons?” he wondered, a telltale muscle spasm causing part of a smile. “Uh huh. And you didn’t think to warn me?!” I laughed. With a sigh and one big bushy eyebrow, he said, “Would you have believed me?” He had me there.
July 2015
Page 21
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