A STORIED HISTORY OF GOATS AND CONTROVERSIES: TUFTS INT MU L SPORTS

by Sam Berman mwah ;))

NARPs leave blood, sweat and tears on the field every fall, every winter, every spring. Just this academic year has been momentous, from the titanic battle of the “Mike Wazowskis” and “Sexy Dexies” to the Hill Hall Alumni’s awe-inspiring championship run. For decades, Jumbos have competed for that ultimate accolade, that place on the mountain top, that accomplishment which earns a Non-Athletic Regular Person a prestigious spot in the history books and the crown jewel of a trophy that will forever maintain its intangible value: “INTRAMURAL CHAMPION,” so reads the legendary brown t-shirt.

Yes, the passion is clearly there. Surveys indicate that 23% of Tufts undergraduates would trade their Bachelor’s Degree for an intramural sports title. There is growing concern around campus, though, that students are ignorant of Tufts’ rich intramural history.

“These youngins think they know everything,” said Tufts History Professor Ronald Chuckman, whose research focuses on New England’s recreational

Natalie Bricker Coffee Capybara

This edition goes out to all the Tufts students who are looking for a super cute coffee shop on campus. I’ve already reviewed the Sink, but there are two other spots that have completely won over my coffee-loving heart. I’m hesitant to even write about these two spots because they’re super “underground” and I kind of want to gatekeep them. But, these places are just so adorable that they deserve to be highlighted.

First up, let’s talk about Tufts’ hidden treasure: the Dewick-Macphie coffee shop. For starters, Dewick’s environment is very cozy. Luxurious couches stretch along the walls under beautiful windows, with super comfortable chairs pulled up to stunning oak tables. Peaceful music plays at a very reasonable volume and the floors are so clean, they sparkle. The vibes in this coffee shop earn a 30/10, easily.

When I drink Dewick’s coffee, I’m never disappointed. Their elaborate, sports during the 20th century.

“If we’re talking 60s and 70s, Tufts was the cream of the crop. You got Patty Melt, Carrie Dababi, Gil Fisch, Tilly Chickle—they used to call him ‘Tickle Monster,’ you know. He won the basketball championship five times and graduated in 1969 a household name,” Chuckman recounted.

A History Department survey found that today, only 12% of Tufts undergraduates recognize Tickle’s name. “That’s a real name? Oof,” one student wrote.

73%, however, agreed that they wanted to learn more about Tufts’ intramural history. The consensus among historians like Chuckman is that the best way for students to do so is by seeking out former NARPs’ voices.

Wilma SmoochieWallace, NARP and class of 1972 graduate, said, “Listen, these kids need to know two things: one, Patty Melt is the GOAT [greatest of all time] and always will be, period; two, the Fleetwood Sack were a bunch of frauds.”

Johnny Tukan, quarterback and captain of the historic 1972 Fleetwood Sack flag football team, disagreed.

“Wilma said that? First of all, Tilly Chickle is the real GOAT—Patty wasn’t a real NARP. Second of all, everybody wants to say, ‘oh, the ‘72 Sack team took steroids.’ Okay, yeah, we were juiced up. We also won every game by forty. Who else can say that?” Tukan commented.

At the core of Tufts intramural history are the debates about the greatest athlete and team of all time. There are two legitimate candidates for each, with the teams being the 1972 Fleetwood Sack and the 1975 Doobie Sisters. Chuckman discussed the Fleetwood Sack.

“The ‘72 Sack were an alltime team. I mean, Johnny Tukan, Dingle Barry, Otto Graf, Sal Minella, they would forty-piece teams at 9 on a Friday and be at DTD hitting the ‘YMCA’ by 11. They were true NARPs, through and through. Undefeated flag football champions, but it is true that they were ‘roided up real good,” Chuckman said. Smoochie-Wallace believes the performance-enhancing drugs delegitimize the Sack’s success.

“January 29th, 1973, the [Tufts] Daily broke the story, ‘The Shrunken Sacks: Intramural Champions Were On the Juice.’ It was apocalyptic. Ever since then, they’ve been frauds in my book. Okay, they beat the Doobie Sisters head to head, but that year they were seniors and the Sisters were freshmen,” SmoochieWallace expressed.

Doobie Sisters captain and 1975 Tufts graduate Kerry Oki weighed in.

“They beat us in flag football, but badminton and dodgeball were where we won our titles. They were one-trick ponies, flag football or bust, and they cheated. The head-tohead really doesn’t mean much,” Oki said.

Chuckman added that “the historical consensus is that the Doobie Sisters have the edge, but you’ll hear arguments about it in barbershops and at bars all around Boston. I have a friend who divorced his wife because she was a Sack truther. Sad Stuff.”

The Tilly Chickle ver- sus Patty Melt GOAT debate causes even more uproar.

Tom Morrow faced Chickle as an undergraduate in 1968 and later competed against Melt as a Fletcher School graduate student.

“Yes, Patty was the best in all facets. She was a winner straight up and has thousands of highlights down in the Tisch [Library] Archives across multiple sports. But she was an ANRP [Athletic Non-Regular

Person], as we say. She