Issue 4 Spring 2021

TUFTS OBSERVER

ISSUE 4 DESTINATION VOL CXLII

LETTERS FROM MANAGING BOARD

BY AKBOTA SAUDABAYEVA, BRIGID CAWLEY, AND RICHARD NAKATSUKA

UNCOMMON APP

FEATURE • BY AMANDA WESTLAKE

PROGRESSING FORWARD, GOING NOWHERE

OPINION • BY RABIYA ISMAIL AND CAROLINA OLEA LEZAMA

WOMEN TAKE THE FLOOR AT THE MFA

ARTS & CULTURE • BY MELANIE LITWIN

RABBIT HEART

POETRY • BY NUHA SHAIKH

TWO GIRLS

POETRY • BY KATE BOWERS

PROPOSED CHANGES TO PILOT CAMPUS • BY HANNA BREGMAN

CREATIVE INSET

BY EVELYN ABRAMOWITZ

YOU’RE THE ONE WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

OPINION • BY MARK LANNIGAN

AN EXPLORATORY SPACE NEWS • BY CE MALLEY

STRUGGLE AND SUSTENANCE

CAMPUS • BY GRACIE THEOBALD-WILLIAMS

162 SHOOTINGS IN FOUR MONTHS

NEWS • BY ELEANOR FUCETOLA

THE ROYALLY REVERED

ARTS & CULTURE • BY ISABELLE CHARLES

PAS DE PANIQUE

VOICES • BY HARUKA NOISHIKI

2 TUFTS OBSERVER SEPTEMBER 28, 2020

STAFF EDITOR IN CHIEF: Akbota Saudabayeva MANAGING EDITOR: Josie Wagner CREATIVE DIRECTORS: Brigid Cawley Richard Nakatsuka FEATURE EDITOR: Ryan Kim NEWS EDITORS: Rachel Dong Mira Dwyer

VOICES EDITORS: Anita Lam Lee Romaker CREATIVE INSET EDITOR: Evelyn Abramowitz LEAD ARTIST: Kelly Tan ART DIRECTORS: Kate Bowers Joanna Kleszczewski LEAD COPY EDITOR: Grace van Deelen

ARTS & CULTURE EDITORS: Wyoma Chudasama Brittany Regas

MULTIMEDIA DIRECTORS: Maddie Oh Justin Wang

OPINION EDITORS: Caroline Blanton Aroha Mackay

PODCAST DIRECTORS: Florence Almeda Sofia Pretell

CAMPUS EDITORS: Melanie Litwin Amanda Westlake

PUBLICITY DIRECTORS: Janie Ingrassia Eve Ogdon Juli Vega Del Castilo

POETRY & PROSE EDITORS: Paula Gil-Ordoñez Gomez Alice Hickson

COPY EDITORS: Grace Abe Claudia Aibel Sabrina Cabarcos Madhi Ibrahim Chloe Malley Tara Steckler Ethan Yan

DESIGNERS: Kate Bowers Janie Ingrassia Joanna Kleszczewski Carina Lo Sofia Pretell Julia Steiner Brenna Trollinger

STAFF WRITERS: Juanita Asapokhai Isabelle Charles Eleanor Fucetola Rabiya Ismail Sabah Lokhandwala Gracie Theobald-Williams Emily Thompson Silvia Wang

CONTRIBUTORS: Aidan Chang Misha Mehta Haruka Noishiki Matilda Peng Aviva Rosenberg Karen Ruiz Moreno

EDITOR EMERITUS: Myisha Majumder MULTIMEDIA Ben Bortner Anushka Chadha Maddy Keipp Esther Tzau Silvia Wang

ABROAD CORRESPONDENT: Yumei Lin

the last time i came here, it was by car, but i’ll be flying back. it’s all tied to what is behind me, stuck like dirt under my fingernails. i carry it with me to the next place; onwards and onwards and onwards

DESIGN BY JOHN BRIGID CAWLEY, COVER

BY RICHARD NAKATSUKA, COVER PHOTOS BY SOFIA PRETELL DOE, ART BY JANE DESIGN DOE

SEPTEMBER 28, 2020 TUFTS OBSERVER 3

LEDITOR

(LETTER FROM THE EDITOR)

Dear Reader,

If we’re talking about destination, let’s start first with origin. I’m writing this letter from the same seat in the MAB Lab that I occupied as a freshman copy editor. There are no windows in here. It smells like plastic paper. It’s a waiting room, and copy-editing was all about waiting. In our little round-table, we were antsy in anticipation, wading in weird conversation. A big part of it for me was waiting for what came after copy—that triumph of contribution. Walking home in the empty streets of Medford at 3:00 a.m., with my heart beating to the rhythm of a dozen stoplights changing from red to green to red to green, I felt like a person.

I graduated to the role of the poetry and prose section editor for a year after, concentrating on ridding our corner of the world of hasty notes-app lyricism. Critique and construction became the cream of my crop. Editing the creative and literary issues gave me that glowing feeling of wholeness that I’ve always felt when publishing. So, I asked for more. Why not? Call me greedy, and I’ll agree. I wanted to eat the magazine—edit it, live in it, and love it.

To be honest, I scammed my way into this position—that’s what they call it when you don’t do it by the book. I had never written an article for the Tufts Observer or even considered one as a journalistic editor before becoming Editor in Chief. Sometimes we find ourselves at the wheel of a car and we are dying to hit the gas pedal. And let me tell you, I was doing mental donuts when I was asked to be on the managing board. Here’s what I learned was important: the need to keep going.

What I’ve always truly adored about the Observer is the emotion that threads through the magazine. The anger in editorials, joy in poetry, grief in narrative. They say that your best work contains a piece of yourself. The Observer staff and all of its contributors—this magazine has always been about them. Their conversations, their drawings, all the different ways they express their love of life, of traveling through time. Place your cheek on the cover of a fresh copy and you might hear a heartbeat.

One last note from this Editor in Chief. When we were editing in the MAB Lab first semester, Sofia Pretell and I opened a curious envelope addressed to the Observer. There appeared a little purple pocketbook containing strange and whimsical phrases. Near its end, there was a simple slogan: “There is nothing but a chance until the end.” Had I not made weird, questionable, daring decisions for myself these past few years, I might have never met Josie, Richie, or Brigid.

It’s why destination and destiny have the same root. Take your chances, reader, and please trust yourself.

Warmly, Akbota Saudabayeva

Dear Reader, Two and a half years ago, we both applied to be designers on the Tufts Observer, confident that we would never have to write anything. Unfortunately, life never quite seems to work out exactly like you think it will. For six semesters we expressed our love for the Observer in each page we designed, and now we are (cautiously) excited to do the same in writing.

During our tenure at this chaotic little publication that we’ve grown to love so much, we’ve set up countless Zoom rooms, assembled Pinterest boards and Behance folders for inspiration, and made some really pretty pages—but most importantly, we’ve found a community to call our home. Despite panic during our first retreat after being asked our sun, moon, and rising signs (which we did not know; who knows that?), we have since been welcomed into a warm, enthusiastic, and brilliant group of people that we can’t imagine not knowing. The MAB Lab was once a terrifying space we thought might be haunted. Now we can’t wait to be back there, even if this time we are sure it is haunted. We’ve endured 6:00 a.m. nights and watched the sunrise together. Most of all, we treasure the other designers we have gotten to work with. What other group of people could have such heated debates over the fastest way to make a gradient, or cheer collectively when someone finally finds the exact right color to use? Who else could we complain with about Mitski’s font choices, or send Adobe InDesign jokes to? To our beloved design team, we want to thank you infinitely for everything you’ve done.

So, as you read this issue of the Observer, make sure to take a look at those little design credits at the bottom of each page. Each name there is a wonderful person who has spent hours battling absolutely sinister design software in order to present the article to you looking its best.

S,

Q,

Brigid and Richie

FEATURE

I

t has been over a year since Tufts first decided to conduct all classes virtually for the rest of the 2020 spring semester in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. Just as current students have highlighted the many stresses they have had to deal with, prospective students applying to the university have faced many unprecedented challenges as well. Tufts had to make significant changes to move its admissions process almost entirely virtual while still providing prospective students with an insight into life on campus. Even as these drastic shifts have gone far to ensure that students are properly informed as they decide whether to attend Tufts, they also raise concerns about the burden placed on prospective students and the equity of the altered admissions process.

The pandemic has made the already strenuous admissions process even more competitive for many students. With only eleven percent of applicants admitted, Tufts’ acceptance rate for the class of 2025 was the lowest ever recorded. For comparison, the acceptance rate the year before was fifteen percent. Tufts announced a 35 percent increase in applicants this year compared to previous years, and other universities have reported similar data. “I felt like the competition to get into schools was a lot higher this year, due to the fact that so many people had nothing else to do’’ said Liv Hand, a member of Tufts’ class of 2025.

“As a result, we’re just going all in for college [applications].” Ruby McElhone Yates, a prospective student who was admitted to Tufts but has not yet committed, also felt this pressure. McElhone Yates said, “I definitely applied to a lot more schools than I think I would have in a year where I would have been able to see more of them.”

In addition to increased competition, one of the biggest challenges for prospec4 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

tive students was learning about different schools when they were unable to make visits in person. Jumbo Days, normally an in-person series of events on campus for admitted students, was changed to Jumbo Month, which consisted of dozens of virtual events throughout April. Both Hand and McElhone Yates attended some of these events to learn more about Tufts, including mock classes, info sessions, and Kahoot nights; other offerings included lectures with professors, a scavenger hunt, Instagram Live Q&A’s, and conversations hosted by each of the six identity centers.

“It was really hard to look at these colleges and not be able to tour and visit them,” said Hand. “But, that aside … I still felt like I got a decent understanding of at least some colleges that I was super interested into, since I scheduled interviews with admissions reps, and got sort of an understanding there.” Hannah Fein, another member of the class of 2025, noted how especially useful student-led Q&A sessions were: “[Current students] were helpful because they were very knowledgeable about what the school was like … They knew a lot and it helped, especially for the circumstances that we were in.”

For COVID safety, all official inperson tours of Tufts were cancelled during the 2020-21 school year and replaced with virtual tours. Tour guide Anton Shenk described other changes made to touring: “Tour guides started being paid, which was an amazing change to support our work, [and] make it more inclusive of a lot of students here.” Shenk believed the shift to virtual tours contributed in part to a larger number of applications. He said, “We have a lot more flexibility in terms of who can see the school, how many people tour guides can handle on a tour, the kinds of people we can access, and I think all of

that contributed to Tufts seeing a record number of applications this year.”

As a member of the Student Communications Group run through the admissions department, first year Blake Anderson works on programs such as the admissions blog and Instagram page to reach potential students. Through these projects, he tries to recreate the unique experience of seeing Tufts in person. Anderson explained, “[Prospective students] don’t get to see the Jumbo statue outside of Barnum. So [admissions] tried to get us to recreate things that students would have had if they toured the school or did a fly-in program.” When Anderson was admitted to Tufts himself, he did not visit campus in person until arriving for his freshman year because of the pandemic, an experience he shares with incoming students who are now in the same situation. “That’s a story I’ve told with my admissions job a couple different times, because that’s what a lot of these students are going through,” said Anderson.

Other incoming students have found creative ways to learn about the school outside of official programs, tours, and events. Fein detailed how a program designed completely by her fellow peers helped her navigate the virtual social landscape. “There was some crazy, insane smart person that made an app with a bunch of links to all of the different group chats that you could be a part of, so I’m in a bunch of group chats for the school,” she said. “There’s a pre-med/pre-vet chat … there’s a New York one … there was even a Jewish person one … it was really easy to meet and find other people.” Others met peers and learned about the school in their class Facebook group and on the Admitted Students Network, a platform designed by Admissions specifically for incoming stu-

FEATURE

UNCOMMON APP:

By Amanda Westlake

dents to talk with both each other and current students.

Alternatively, one former tour guide, who asked to remain anonymous, gave unofficial in-person tours to prospective students after the tour guide’s mother connected with their parents on Facebook.

The tours were socially distanced with all parties masked, and because the tours were less structured, the tour guide was able to talk more about each student’s personal interests. “Before the COVID pandemic, I had a set map I needed to follow, different stops where I was speaking about certain topics, [predetermined] by the actual tour guiding association. And for this, I just walked around on campus and I showed them spots that were interesting to them,” the tour guide explained.

Tufts’ admitted class of 2025 is the most diverse ever in terms of race and ethnicity, and was selected from a similarly diverse pool of applicants. Dean of Admissions JT Duck said in a January 2021 statement that “applications from Black, Indigenous, and Latinx students kept pace with or exceeded the growth of the overall pool.” The percentage of first-generation and international applicants followed similar trends. One factor that may have contributed to this increased diversity was the implementation of a test-optional admissions policy. In March 2020, Tufts’ admissions department announced they would allow applicants to apply without the SAT or ACT for the next three years, a policy that will affect applications from the classes of 2025, 2026, and 2027, with the potential to be extended indefinitely. Previously, one of the two tests was required.

More than 1,240 other universities implemented similar policies this year.

Standardized tests are often criticized as giving an unfair advantage to DESIGN BY BRENNA TROLLINGER

TUFTS ADMISSIONS IN THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

wealthy, mostly white students, who may have greater access to private tutors, prep classes, and other resources. “Standardized tests don’t actually determine how good of a student you are,” said Amma Agyei, a junior who will soon be Tufts’ first Black female student body president. “Some people are good at testing, some people aren’t good at testing.” Duck reported that half of all applicants chose not to submit standardized tests. “Given how much has changed this year, it is hard to identify what precisely played a role in changing the size or composition of our applicant pool or admitted cohort,” said Duck, “Though I do think our test-optional policy contributed to the surge in applications.”

However, test-optional admissions means that more weight is placed on other parts of an application, such as grades and essays, which can also be affected by unequal socioeconomic factors. Although essays allow for individuality, some applicants can have their essays reviewed by teachers, tutors, and parents, while other students may not have that opportunity.

“It feels like, as someone who’s applying, that essays weigh a lot more heavily [during COVID],” said McElhone Yates. “And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, because in some ways you have more of an opportunity to be beyond the number [you] got on a test on this day, but in other ways, I think some of the more systemic issues [in the application process] could be stronger in essays as well.”

Junior Andrew Vu, a FIRST Center peer leader, hoped that the test-optional policy will increase the number of firstgeneration, low-income students and students of color at Tufts, which is currently small. In the class of 2024, 11.9 percent of students identified as first generation. Vu said, “Not having standardized testing as

“NOT HAVING STANDARDIZED TESTING AS A REQUIREMENT SHOULD OPEN THE DOORS FOR TUFTS TO DO A BETTER JOB OF ADMITTING MORE POC AS WELL AS FGLI STUDENTS ONTO CAMPUS … I HOPE THAT IS A GOOD FIRST STEP IN MAKING IT MORE EQUITABLE.” MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 5

FEATURE

a requirement should open the doors for Tufts to do a better job of admitting more POC as well as FGLI students onto campus … I hope that is a good first step in making it more equitable.”

Tufts’ admissions policy is “needaware,” meaning that financial need is taken into consideration during the application process. The admissions department must be careful not to exceed the budget they are given as they accept students with differing amounts of need.

“While Tufts meets the full demonstrated financial need of all admitted students, it is need-sensitive, which means that we have to work carefully to not exceed a finite aid budget each year,” Duck said in an email.

The Observer reached out to the university’s financial aid office for additional comments, but representatives were unable to respond by the time of publication.

Although this fall’s incoming class has the potential to be Tufts’ most diverse yet, the school still has a long way to go in terms of racial and ethnic representation. Agyei believes that this lack of diversity has more to do with which students choose to enroll than which students are accepted. “Tufts always does accept more than four percent Black students,” Agyei said, “but it just ends up happening that only four percent enroll … they just realize other schools are better at supporting persons of color than Tufts is.” Black students made up 7.8 percent of those admitted into Tufts’ class of 2024, but were only 6.5 percent of the enrolled class. The admitted class of 2025 is composed of 11.5 percent Black students, and as of fall 2020, the overall undergraduate, non-international population of Tufts consisted of 4.6 percent Black students. In 2015, amidst a wave of similar protests in schools across the country, over 200 mostly Black Tufts students walked out of class, identifying as #TheThreePercent—a hashtag derived 6 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

from a study that found only three percent of students at Tufts, BU, Northeastern, and MIT were Black. One of their demands was to raise the percentage of Black undergraduates from just four percent to thirteen percent, which would be representative of the national population. In the past six years, though, Tufts has made little progress towards that goal.

Agyei identified an armed campus police force and events such as orientation week and campus tours that are mainly designed for white students as factors that make Tufts less welcoming to POC and may discourage them from attending.

“I do not think any [Orientation week] events were suited towards persons of color; they were very much geared toward the white majority, and things like that prevent Black students from coming or persons of color from coming here,” Agyei said. She also emphasized the need for Black students to feel safe on campus, especially amidst a national crisis of police brutality and racism: “If you go online, you’re gonna see [that] Tufts police are armed … Why would I choose a school that has an armed police presence over another school that does not have armed police?”

According to Shenk, there is an ongoing effort to make tours of Tufts more inclusive. Tour guides are now required to give a land acknowledgement recognizing the Indigenous land the university occupies, and he emphasized that it is important to be aware of race when talking about campus safety. Shenk said, “If you’ve ever been on a college tour, your tour guide might have said, ‘Oh, here’s the different resources we have for safety here on campus, I’ve always felt safe on campus’ … but you seriously need to be aware of that … [as] a white guy walking around campus.”

Agyei also criticized high enrollment deposits as having a disproportionate burden on low income students, and the

fact that admissions staff has previously made more visits to private high schools and schools with predominantly white students, while overlooking schools with more Black students and students of color.

“In the past, Tufts did not make a lot of visits to schools with greater populations of persons of color,” Agyei said, “This year they did more of that.” Pushing for more visits to public schools and schools with diverse populations is part of her plan for admissions as TCU President.

Despite the unique circumstances, Hand still felt that they made a good decision on where to attend college. “[Tufts] just seemed like a really fun, yet academically challenging place to be,” they said.

“It’s just a lot of people who really … know who they are, and know what they want to learn and what they’re passionate about …

I feel like I really picked a college that has a good community.” McElhone Yates echoed similar sentiments: “I really appreciate how many people say how friendly and nice students are, and how important that seems to be to the community. And I think that’s really stood out at Tufts … because that’s the kind of thing that you can’t really get from a virtual tour or a webinar.”

However, the pandemic also highlighted problems that still exist within university admissions and larger campus culture that prevent it from being a truly equitable process for all. Shenk recognized Tufts’ status as a relatively inclusive university but also pointed to systemic inequalities that exist within the admissions process and the fact that there is always room for improvement. He said, “Tufts obviously can always do better, but we’ve also consistently been ranked [as being one] of the most inclusive college campuses in the nation. So there are some things we’re doing right, [and] there are some things we could be doing much better.”

OPINION

By Rabiya Ismail and Carolina Olea Lezama

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 7

OPINION

S

ince the creation of the Instagram page @AbolishTuftsIFCandPanhellenic this past summer, which posted anonymous submissions of students’ experiences of harassment, abuse, racism, and violence in Greek organizations, the movement to abolish Greek life at Tufts has become more than a running joke for students. The page successfully shamed mostly white students into dropping their fraternities and sororities, or even going so far as to disaffiliate from their national organizations.

Prior to last summer, there were three Panhellenic sororities on Tufts’ campus: Alpha Phi, Chi Omega, and Kappa Alpha Theta. While all members of Alpha Phi disaffiliated and 100 members of Chi Omega dropped the sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta chose to retain its national affiliation and pledged to hold discussions about race and inclusion. Meanwhile, many members of Alpha Tau Omega (ATO)—the only gender all-inclusive fraternity at Tufts—dropped the fraternity, illustrating the performativity of the label that members—especially white, queer ones—believe exempt them from the critiques that all other sororities and fraternities receive.

While we could examine the hypocrisy of the old fraternities and sororities on campus, we will focus instead on the new local sororities, whose supposed disaffiliation was really a rebranding under the same exclusionary system. It was only a few months after disaffiliation that two new organizations, The Ivy and Thalia, created by previous members of Alpha Phi and Chi Omega respectively, started recruiting members. It comes as no surprise that these new members appear to be almost entirely the same racial demographics as the original sororities, as seen in their promotional videos and social media presence. According to an interview with the Tufts Daily, The Ivy held “open application days” during 8 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

recruitment, with the “hope that more people from backgrounds that aren’t typically going to go Greek would consider it instead.” However, creating a new local sorority without addressing the root causes of Alpha Phi’s and other sororities’ failures only exacerbates the direct harm that is caused to Black and brown students through these organizations. These local sororities continue to perpetuate the same inequalities as their predecessors, just under a different name.

This absolutely i s n’ t to say

“LET’S BE HONEST: HAD THE LEADERSHIP OF THESE SORORITIES NOT BEEN SHAMED INTO PRETENDING THEY SUPPORT THEIR BLACK AND BROWN PEERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA THIS PAST SUMMER, WE WOULD BE IN THE SAME SPOT WE ARE CURRENTLY IN—BUT WITHOUT THE FANCY NEW NAMES.”

that Zeta Beta Tau, Delta Tau Delta, Theta Chi, and other Tufts fraternities aren’t guilty of upholding the same racist and exclusionary practices of Greek life. However, they do so openly, without pretending they are better or more progressive than other groups.

This also isn’t the first time Tufts fraternities and sororities have decided to ‘go local.’ In 2015, Tufts’ Sigma Phi Epsilon and Alpha Epsilon Pi members decided to disaffiliate from their national organizations. Seven years later, it seems like the cycle is repeating itself. A scroll on the “Organization Status” webpage

for fraternities and sororities shows that hazing, sexual harassment, and code of conduct violations (including discrimination) are not only a national problem—they are a Tufts problem.

Several members of The Ivy noted to us their desire and excitement to get a new space on campus— one where members are allowed to drink without the requirement of fraternities’ presence. If members of these new local sororities were truly committed to reforming Greek life, tackling racism, and learning about diversity, equity, and inclusion, their first step would have been to recognize that in pursuing another physical space, they are actively taking away resources that marginalized groups have been demanding from Tufts for years.

If anything, they should get in line. The FIRST center, the Latinx Center, and the LGBT center could finally have their own spaces if sororities decided to disaffiliate without requesting the already scarce resources that Tufts has denied to these respective communities.

Members cite the popularity of their local sororities as a sign that students are choosing to go local rather than participating in the traditional Greek system. However, there is no doubt in our minds that The Ivy’s incoming class of 52 students and Thalia’s 60 pledges would have also rushed the original panhellenic sorority without a second thought. Let’s be honest: had the leadership of these sororities not been shamed into pretending they support their Black and brown peers on social media this past summer, we would be in the same spot we are currently in—but without the fancy new names.

Though the @AbolishTuftsIFCandPanhellenic Instagram page caused harm through ineffective messaging and triggering stories of

OPINION

sexual assault and harassment, they were right about one important point: Tufts Interfraternity and Panhellenic Councils were built on and are sustained by intentional exclusion. Greek institutions were allowed to restrict members on the basis of race up until 1955. The Asian American Center was created after protests following a series of anti-Asian racist events from Zeta Psi pledges. Jewish students could be restricted from joining on the basis of religion until 1961. Trans and gender non-conforming students are still excluded from these spaces. Members claim that calling their organizations spaces for “women-identifying” or “male-identifying” individuals makes them more inclusive, when in fact this implies that trans men and women do not fall within existing categories of male and female, and excludes gender non-conforming and non-binary people entirely.

Not only do these organizations perpetuate racism, religious discrimination, and transphobia, but they also promote and uphold classist practices. Low-income students are rarely involved in Greek life because of the hefty dues, and a few scholarships (that require a personal statement, GPA, and are only eligible for a one-time use) or due assistance isn’t going to change that. Even if a lowincome student has entered the space due to fee assistance, they still have to keep up financially with the cost and expectation of drinking and going out on weekends, as well as buying gifts and going on sister coffee dates.

The expenses that come from being a part of Greek life in

DESIGN BY SOFIA PRETELL, ART BY KELLY TAN

addition to member dues makes it inherently inaccessible to low-income students. A classist and racist system should not be allowed on Tufts’ campus, especially given that the university claims to be anti-racist.

Anti-racism includes an intersectional understanding of equity which stretches from anti-Blackness, to poverty, to accountability. When Black and brown students demanded that Greek life be abolished, white students responded by creating a new version of Greek life. During a pandemic when inequity is severely highlighted and exacerbated, it is disappointing that Tufts students chose to move forward with the creations of The Ivy and Thalia and hide their motives behind a supposed diversity, equity, and inclusion agenda. Anti-racism has been one of Tufts’ main goals since late 2020, and it is clear to us that the university cannot claim to be anti-racist when the Greek life houses serve as a reminder of all the trauma that has been inflicted upon Black and brown students. Regardless of how many changes Greek members plan to implement, these houses are pillars of white supremacy. Creating new organizations will not change that.

We’ve heard time and time again that people fear the lack of alternatives to Greek life if it were to be abolished.

The reality is: maybe we don’t need an alternative. The reasons people cite for joining Greek life often have to do with sisterhood, or friends, or philanthropy, but the reality is that those benefits are already offered in other spaces. If people join Greek life for philanthropy, they can join the clubs focused on civic activism and justice and partake in philanthropy more than just once a semester.

If they join for sisterhood or friendship,

they could consider joining a sports team, a competition group, or volunteering at a local school to find friendship in communities they haven’t engaged with.

In our eyes, these alternatives offer the same benefits that most people use to justify their membership in Greek life—the only thing missing from these alternatives is the ‘white and wealthy with no consequences’ aspect. Having more people join these alternative but important clubs may actually show the administration what students support, leading them to have access to resources, money, and spaces previously reserved for Greek life.

Accountability includes more than just pledges to discuss diversity, equity, and inclusion. How productive can these conversations be when people of color are not in the room? A white ally could fill a DEI role if they have a long history of advocacy and activism, however, it is unlikely a Tufts student will have this training. Assigning a white person to this role may lead to more microaggressions and racism, ultimately misrepresenting and harming the communities they claim to be helping. These failures only highlight that young, white, and privileged Tufts students have a lot of unlearning and work to do in relation to their whiteness. Their priorities are not aligned with the needs of marginalized students.

One step for local sorority members to take might just be to sit down and listen.

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 9

ARTS & CULTURE

WOMEN TAKE THE FLOOR AT THE MFA

By Melanie Litwin

“T

he latest exhibition at the MFA is revolutionary because of what it lacks: men.”

This declaration begins the virtual tour for Women Take the Floor, an exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts showcasing the underrepresented works of female artists. It pushes back against the dominance of white men in the art world and includes work by both well-known women and those who have historically been under-recognized. The exhibition features over 200 different pieces—largely from the MFA’s collection—across Level 3 of the Art of the Americas Wing, with different works displayed on rotation throughout the exhibition’s September 13, 2019 – November 28, 2021 run.

This reinstallation comprises seven galleries organized by theme. The main gallery, titled “Women Depicting Women: Her Vision, Her Voice,” includes pieces such as Frida Kahlo’s Dos Mujeres and Loïs Mailou Jones’ Ubi Girl from Tai Region.

Nonie Gadsden, senior curator of American decorative arts and sculpture at the MFA, explained over email, “[W]e wanted to deal directly with the lack of inclusion in the women’s suffrage movement. And also to champion the values of modern

10 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

day feminism by creating a space for multiple points of view to be voiced and heard. We strove to equate art and suffrage and show how both can be powerful tools for expressing one’s voice in the community.”

The creation and opening of Women Take the Floor aligned with the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment’s ratification. However, Gadsden said, “[C]ommemorating the 100th anniversary of women’s suffrage comes with its own concerns, as the campaign for suffrage, as well as other feminist movements of the past century, consciously excluded women of color.” A video of poet Porsha Olayiwola is featured prominently in the exhibition, as she recites her poem written in response to it, called “what is the suffrage movement to a blk womyn?: an anthem.” Olayiwola’s voice is heard on repeat in the gallery, her words disrupting the dominant narrative of women’s suffrage.

Gadsden also commented on the variety of reactions to exhibitions like Women Take the Floor. She said, “Some artists and

ARTS & CULTURE

scholars argue that gender-based shows encourage tokenism and relegate women artists to the sidelines, suggesting that they can’t

compete or hold their own with equivalent work by male artists.

Others argue that specialized attention to women artists is long overdue and a necessary corrective to the centuries of systemic gender discrimination embedded in museums, galleries, the academy and the marketplace.” Art museums have a long history of gender and racial inequality, with women—especially BIPOC women—being severely undervalued. A 2019 survey of US art museum collections found that the artists included were 87 percent male and 85 percent white.

Junior Aonkon Dey noted that the exhibition provides a perspective often lacking in the art world. “I think just getting the chance to realize what art [without] a Eurocentric male gaze looks like as a part of an entire gallery was very refreshing because we’re not talking about one or two paintings that [are] just situated between say, hundreds of other white male artists,” they said. “We’re talking about an entire gallery.”

One piece of artwork that stood out to Dey was Wendy Red Star’s Apsáalooke Feminist #1. The photograph is a self portrait of Red Star and her daughter, dressed in the traditional elk-tooth dress of the Apsáalooke (Crow) nation and staring directly into the camera. Dey commented on the power that comes with female artists being able to depict themselves. Wendy Red Star’s art is a form of personal self-expression, existing beyond the normalized Eurocentric male gaze.

The realities of exclusion in the art world cause Women Take the Floor to inspire mixed feelings. According to SMFA Dean Nancy Bauer, it was moving to see such a large amount of work by women. At the same time, she said, “I had this sort of tinge of sadness that it was a big, big deal that there was this comprehensive DESIGN BY JULIA STEINER, ART BY KAREN RUIZ MORENO

show of women’s art ... It underscored the extent to which women are still marginalized in the art world.”

There are many barriers that any female artist—and even more so BIPOC women—must endure. Bauer said, “I just was weighed down by the thought of how hard it was for most of these women to actually find a space in the art world and thinking about how many women never found that space.” The lack of space afforded to female and BIPOC artists comes from the power held by white and male artists, critics, and scholars. Senior Annette Key, an art history major, explained, “There’s just this long history of white men appreciating other white men and not really giving women or people of color ... any recognition for their achievements or for any boundaries pushed.”

The exhibition does not erase the MFA’s own exclusion of female artists, but rather is part of the institution’s ongoing reckoning with its contributions to inequality. Even curating these galleries was a challenge. According to the exhibition’s virtual tour, less than 10 percent of the MFA’s acquisitions from the last 10 years were created by female artists. “The MFA has had an inconsistent history with supporting women artists, which we acknowledge in this exhibition and vow to change,” said Gadsden. “By highlighting our own shortcomings, we as a staff and community can work together to make sustainable changes.” At the same time, she recognized that change cannot come overnight; true inclusion is a long-term commitment.

“I think we have to reach a stage where having a gallery like this, or having these artworks be a centerpiece, is not an extra event, but something that’s just very normalized,” said Dey. Key expressed concern over the unequal power dynamics and gatekeeping that occurs in the art world. She said, “One of my biggest problems with the art world is how art is often gatekept and weaponized as intellectual superiority, and how a lot of scholars, mainly white men, utilize their knowledge of good art and knowing a lot about art, as a way to define what is good and to define aesthetics.” Key continued, “I think that art is ... meant to be for the masses. If you look at a painting, and you like it, and you find it aesthetically pleasing [or] you find something beautiful within it or scary or intriguing, that should be good enough for good art.”

A meaningful shift in the art world cannot come solely from representation in a few museum exhibitions. Change comes from the very power structures that allow exclusion and inequality to thrive. According to Key, inclusion of women in the mainstream must, in part, come from major museums. She said she hopes that “[major museums will] not tokenize female artists and tokenize women of color in their exhibits, but rather just show their art ...

There are thousands of incredible artists who are women [and] who are people of color that are just ignored, and their art can and should be appreciated.”

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 11

POETRY

rabbit heart

By Nuha Shaikh I bear an open hand & flat palm I was taught that this was the way

to carefully coax animals to eat

when they are wary of the smell of people And it is me

Trying to love me Scared of the salty smell of sweat and tears Scared that the hand will be taken away

If it is given so easily

//Can I love a good thing And let it lie And have a good pause with it

Until it leaves for greener grass

& sweeter clover

12 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

POETRY

two girls

By Kate Bowers

chivalry isn’t dead, so i walk you home in the dark past the church and the middle school. with two girls, it’s always a question. who pays, who walks home alone, who takes her mask off first on the doorstep. you know. who would. who wanted to. tonight we only reach the sidewalk, the mailbox. it’s late and i’m tired and everything’s a little colder than i expected. we laugh a little bit in the quiet. we wait. on the walk home, the wind pulls through my hair and i write a letter of resignation from the bureau of hopeless romantics. i should grow up, find a more profitable profession. as i unlock the door, creep up creaky stairs and slip past heavy bedrooms, i am climbing up the ladder again. the air is sweet up here, a breeze pricking at my wet skin. legs dangle over the edge, kicking. so delicious and so easy, to jump back in.

DESIGN BY KATE BOWERS, ART BY MISHA MEHTA AND MATILDA PENG

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 13

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PROPOSED CHANGES CHANGES TO TO PILOT: PILOT: PROPOSED DO NONPROFITS OWE MORE TO THEIR COMMUNITIES?

By Hanna Bregman

M

assachusetts State Representative Erika Uyterhoeven of Somerville has introduced a bill that would make otherwise voluntary payments made by Tufts and other large nonprofits to their host cities mandatory. This initiative highlights a concern held by many: do large nonprofits take more than they give?

The bill in question, Bill H.3080, attempts to address what Rep. Uyterhoeven and others believe to be inadequacies in Massachusetts’ Payment in Lieu of Taxes, or PILOT, program.

Under PILOT, large nonprofit institutions that own property valued at more than $15 million are implored, but not required, to make voluntary financial contributions to the municipality in which they reside. The amount of money requested of them depends on the commercial rate of their tax-exempt property.

Institutions participating in PILOT are asked to pay 25 percent of what they would owe on their property if it were taxable.

All nonprofits that volunteer payments through PILOT are eligible for a Community Benefits Credit of up to 50 percent of the amount requested of them. Institutions can receive this credit by self-reporting ways in which they have monetarily benefited their community. This credit, when received, means that an institution has to pay only half of the PILOT amount requested of them by the state.

The bill comes as a result of frustration among Massachusetts residents and businesses who argue that they have unfairly shouldered the burden of paying for state and city expenses. Proponents of Bill H.3080 argue that nonprofits like Tufts should pay their fair share in maintaining state and city services from which they benefit, like fire protection, police, and roads.

Medford and Somerville residents are also looking for more transparency from Tufts’ administration regarding the university’s future plans that have the potential to affect the municipalities. From issues like the school’s plan for future expansion to how the incoming class of 2025 may push more Tufts 14 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

students into off-campus housing in the coming years, Medford and Somerville would like to have a way to communicate with Tufts more directly. The proposed changes to PILOT, said Medford City Councilor Zac Bears, may not create some sort of radically transformative change, but they would demonstrate an attitude shift from Tufts that would be meaningful to Medford residents.

Councilor Bears also emphasized that Tufts students, faculty, and staff who reside in Medford and Somerville should consider themselves a part of the community he represents. He hopes that Tufts students feel empowered to express their opinions about the proposed changes to PILOT, as these changes would affect them as well.

Sophomore Mark Lannigan, a volunteer policy researcher with the office of Rep. Uyterhoeven, echoed exactly that idea. “As a Tufts student who is paying Tufts University, and [in that sense] a partial funder of what the budget they’re working with is, I would like to see them paying Medford and Somerville,” said Lannigan. “And I think a lot of students would agree.”

In 2019, after almost a year of negotiations between Tufts and the cities of Medford and Somerville following the expiration of their previous agreement, Tufts increased its PILOT contributions to its host cities from $275,000 to $450,000 per year. While the 64 percent increase in payment was welcomed by both cities, it came as a surprise as the cities’ negotiating teams had yet to reach a final agreement. To Councilor Bears, Bill H.3080 would be instrumental in ensuring that the conversation between Tufts and its host cities is no longer one-sided.

While some argue that changes to PILOT would reassure community members of large nonprofits’ dedication to helping their community, others have argued that the proposed changes to PILOT are unfair and potentially detrimental to nonprofit institutions. Those opposed to the bill argue that nonprofits are tax-exempt for a reason. According to an article in the Boston Globe, the Boston Symphony

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Orchestra, a participant in Boston’s PILOT program, cited COVID-19-related revenue losses as an increased strain on the institution. Mark Volpe, chief executive of the BSO, said this made the timing of Bill H.3080 particularly unfortunate and impractical.

Despite this difficulty, the BSO met 100 percent of PILOT requests in 2020. The same cannot be said of many larger, wealthier institutions. Tufts fulfilled 87 percent of the money requested of them by Boston’s PILOT system.

While not 100 percent, this is notably higher than any other educational institution in the program, with the exception of Boston University, which also paid 87 percent of its PILOT ask. Of the $1,227,438 requested of Tufts by the city in 2020, Tufts paid $450,000. This sum, combined with the $613,719 Tufts received as Community Benefits Credit, made up the 87 percent of the request they contributed.

According to Tufts’ “Boston PILOT Community Benefits Report,” the Undergraduate Financial Aid program, the Tufts Food Rescue Collaborate Family Meals Program, Tisch Summer Fellows, the Tufts University School of Dental Medicine Dental Clinics, and many other Tufts programs are making meaningful monetary contributions to the school’s surrounding communities. In total, Tufts estimates that it contributed $12,344,681 through its services and community programs to the city of Boston. In its “Medford/Somerville Community Benefits Report,” Tufts claimed to have contributed an additional $4,564,298 to the cities of Medford and Somerville. As a result of its self-reported contribution, Tufts received $613,719 (50 percent of the total amount of requested PILOT) in Community Benefits Credit from the City of Boston.

Despite the recognition they receive from the state, some question the legitimacy of the contributions of large institutions to their surrounding communities. Shrenik Agarwal, an intern in the office of Rep. Uyterhoeven, is interested in “looking at all these nonprofit institutions, examining exactly who they serve [and] who they benefit.” He said, “The reason they have this tax-exempt status is because of this mission to serve the public.

But it’s [a question of] who is included in that public? When you look at [it], Tufts has more students from the top 1 percent than the bottom 60 percent. And Tufts gives preferences to legacy students. And you keep going down

that rabbit hole: How many kids from Somerville Public Schools or Boston Public Schools or Cambridge Public Schools go to Northeastern or Harvard or Tufts?

But from their taxpayer money, the new dining hall is subsidized. It’s absurd.”

In an email to the Tufts Observer, Rocco DiRico, director of community and government relations at Tufts, stated, “Currently, Boston is the only host city that has a formal PILOT program. The Boston PILOT and Community Benefits program has been incredibly successful. In [fiscal year 2020], 37 nonprofit institutions (including Tufts University) submitted community benefits reports totaling $153 million. In addition to these community benefits, these nonprofit organizations also voluntarily contributed $34 million to the City of Boston.

At this time, I don’t think it’s necessary to change a program that’s been so beneficial to the residents of Boston.”

Bill H.3080 does not address the Community Benefits Credit. Matthew Barad, volunteer policy researcher with the office of Rep. Uyterhoeven, said, “The bill does not do anything other than give municipalities the ability to enforce the currently optional PILOT payments. Currently, some towns use the benefits they offer to schools to try and get leverage for higher ‘voluntary’ PILOT payments. The new bill would make that unnecessary, as municipalities would have full control over whether nonprofits have to meet PILOT.” If implemented, Bill H.3080 would mean that Boston would no longer be the only host city with a formal PILOT program. The intention behind the bill is to ensure that cities like Somerville and Medford have more control over discussions regarding PILOT contributions. By ensuring that large nonprofits are required to contribute a minimum payment to their respective host city, Tufts and other PILOT-affiliated institutions would no longer have the option to change how much they contribute without consulting everyone involved.

DESIGN BY JOANNA KLESZCZEWSKI, ART BY KATHARINE BOWERS

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 15

t

ESTINATIO

FEATURE

1. SOFIA CHON, FILM PHOTOGRAPHY 2. MATILDA PENG, INFINITY, FILM PHOTOGRAPHY

o

i

DESIGN BY EVELYN ABRAMOWITZ

FEATURE

w

OPINION

By Mark Lannigan

W

e are in a period of political transition, and the old ways of politics are fading in favor of an appetite for the new ideas of our youngest generation. As the planet, our country, and our communities are embroiled in crisis, the young people of the world are our eleventh hour and brighter day. Our saviors and the answers to all of our prayers are on the horizon. We see their ship break across that strip of water between sea and sky, but they have not arrived yet. We need merely wait.

As a member of this generation, one surging toward progress, I cannot deny that this optimistic feeling is correct.

We’re bringing solutions aimed at some of the biggest issues of our time: the climate 18 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

crisis, racial injustice, economic inequality, a backsliding democracy, on and on. But we simply do not have the luxury of time.

Our generation is running fast into the business of changing the world because we understand the urgency of the moment we are in. There are many ways to do this, and I’m here to present an often overlooked one: young people can—and should—run for political office.

You have probably sat through a number of presentations about the importance of voting, being civically engaged, and holding your elected officials accountable.

I do not deny that these are all incredibly important tools at our disposal as we work to remake the world. At the same time,

running for office is an option that is not often presented to young people, and as a result, many of them simply do not consider it feasible. I’ll tell you that it is not only feasible, but it is also something you should actively consider.

I just finished managing a campaign for Maddy Ranalli, a current Harvard student who ran for Newton City Council in their recent Special Election. Maddy is a twenty-year-old progressive policy wonk, an identity which embodied the campaign we ran: a fresh, bold, ideas-based campaign that has built a movement in Newton calling for progressive change. Our team found a groundswell of support among other young people who shared Maddy’s

OPINION

urgency and thoughtfulness. Based on my experience managing her race, I’ve found that there are many lessons to be gleaned from Maddy’s campaign.

First, local offices are within reach for young people. We tend to associate running for office with hundred-person, million-dollar Congressional and Senatorial races, but local offices are far more accessible and just as important. As a candidate, you’d be running in the community you are a part of: you know what your community needs, what it lacks, and where it excels. You know where the potholes are on your block, where the sidewalk has fallen apart, and where the parks are in disrepair.

You know the local businesses which have served you well over the years, and you know the vacant storefronts whose owners packed up and moved away. Maybe you do not know the power players of your town or city, but you know the dirt, cement, people, and businesses that make up the DNA of your community, and you know where it needs fixing. Run on your experience.

Second, young people can amass the same amount of support as their older counterparts. Maddy’s campaign was backed by a dozen organizations, over 60 endorsements, and hundreds of volunteers. We had people from Massachusetts and across the country interested in helping elect a young person to local office. This base of enthusiastic supporters is entirely replicable: there are people and organizations out there who want to see young people run for office, and will actively help young candidates as much as they can. You only need to do a little digging to find people who will throw their all behind you. If you do not have any experience with campaigns, they will help you build one. If you have big, bold ideas and need to translate them into concrete policy points, they will help you do so. A particular lesson I’ve learned in my time organizing campaigns is that other young people will especially have your back.

Third, do not listen to the people who tell you to “wait your turn.” There will be plenty of people who will demand you go about running for office a certain way: start off by joining a certain organization, then perhaps apply to a commission, and DESIGN BY SOFIA PRETELL, ART BY KELLY TAN

maybe five, ten, or twenty years down the road you can run. Don’t listen to them. If you have the ideas, the drive, and the organization, you can run whenever you please. There is truly no one-size-fits-all way to go about running, nor an exact prescription for changing the world. Don’t be discouraged by people trying to suppress your energy–your youth is your power.

If you decide to run, one of the most important pieces you’ll need to assemble is confidence in your own ideas and your own candidacy. This looks different for everyone, but I can assure you that if you are standing with the leagues of young people calling for a more just, righteous, and better world for all, then your ideas are the ones we desperately need. Your candidacy is more timely t h a n ever, and

“YOU’RE NOT A GREAT CANDIDATE DESPITE YOUR AGE; YOU ARE A GREAT CANDIDATE BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE.” y ou belong to the group of the “ones we’ve been waiting for.” You’re not a great candidate despite your age; you are a great candidate because of your age. The experiences of being a young person in the world today are so radically different from other age demographics, and governments across the board need more representation for young people.

I would be remiss, however, not to address the privilege inherent in being able to run for office. There are structural barriers in place. It is time-consuming and difficult to run if you have to work full-time or have other responsibilities that fill up your schedule. People of different marginalized identities face different biases among the electorate. That being said, there are groups and individuals working to bring down these structural barriers, and I hope we can see a day when they’re eliminated

completely. In the meantime, you’ll need to weigh the pros and cons for yourself.

To get to a more just world, we’ll need the forerunners of our generation to open the doors and shatter the barriers that stand between us and the future.

There is an optimism burgeoning among many people in the United States today that our generation will be the deliverers and redeemers. That being said, I must also acknowledge the pessimism lurking below the surface that the task ahead of us is too difficult, that our society is not built to withstand the titanic change we need, and that it is instead built precisely to prevent it.

In his Prison Notebooks, political philosopher Antonio Gramsci articulates this problem perfectly: “The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born.” We know that the old way of doing things never worked and needs to be replaced, but the forces built to defend the existing order are preventing new ideas from taking root. The young and the new are contending with a world that is calling for them to take charge but never intended for them to lead.

We need forerunners to fill this role of breaking through the inertia that embodies our current system and holding open the door for the rest of our generation. This is why we need as many young people, including college students, running for office as possible. Every storm needs its omens.

This movement of young candidates is the drop in temperatures, the gathering winds, and the wisps of dense clouds that culminate before rainfallwhich are precursors for the rain to come. They are the gusts that will fill the sails of that faraway ship and pull it toward land. The destiny of our generation is written in the sky.

Whether you’ve thought about it in the past or not, I want you to lean in, listen closely, and truly consider running for office. Promise me you’ll at least mull over the thought in your head. Perhaps float the idea to a friend, or write it down in a notebook. This initial step can be how your campaign gets started. And when the time comes, when we’re standing on the shores of a better world, I hope I’ll get the chance to shake your hand and thank you for running when you did.

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 19

NEWS

AN EXPLORATORY SPACE: ARKANSAS AND THE FUTURE OF TRANS HEALTHCARE

By CE Malley

A

rkansas has become the first state to pass an anti-trans healthcare bill banning gender-affirming treatment, causing Tufts students and activists across the country to call for systemic change in how governing bodies and healthcare institutions approach trans identities and well-being.

Arkansas House Bill 1570, also known as the “Save Adolescents From Experimentation” Act, was signed into law on April 13 after the Republican-controlled House voted to override Governor Asa Hutchinson’s veto on April 6. The bill prevents doctors from offering gender-affirming care, such as hormone treatment or surgery, to trans minors. It also rescinds care from minors already being treated for gender dysphoria. Furthermore, it removes state funding for clinics or organizations that provide gender-affirming care and prevents the Arkansas Medicaid Program from reimbursing or covering gender-affirming care for patients under the age of 18.

Restricting trans rights is not a new consideration for lawmakers. The bill was passed amid a swath of other anti-trans bills currently being proposed or passed through 28 state legislatures across the country. According to the ACLU, over 100 anti-trans bills are being considered as of April 20, and approximately 20 states are seeking to restrict trans people’s access to healthcare.

20 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

In an email to the Tufts Observer, Joel Guttierez, the program administrator for the Tufts LGBT Center, said, “As someone who has worked with trans and nonbinary youth for several years, I know how deeply crucial access to gender-affirming care is for young trans people … and it scares me to no end to think that so many young people could lose access to critical gender-affirming care with no notice, no alternatives, no escape.”

The issue that this bill hinges on is the treatment of trans children with pubertyblockers and trans adolescents with crosshormone therapy. Puberty blockers, as indicated by the name, pause or “block” puberty for a limited amount of time. According to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), they are prescribed after a patient has started the process of puberty and has indicated that they have significant body aversion or distress surrounding the changes.

Blockers allow trans minors to explore their gender nonconformity and potentially “facilitate transition by preventing the development of sex characteristics that are difficult or impossible to reverse” after one goes through puberty. Blockers are reversible and are often prescribed alongside various social interventions, like wearing gender-affirming clothes or going by a different name.

Siddhant Talwar, a junior, expanded on the importance of giving children the space and time needed to explore their identities and said, “Any queer person I know … knew about their sexuality or their gender way before they were 18, and by the time they were 18, they were comfortable with the concept a little bit … and that started before they were teenagers.”

They continued, “That process, that stage where you’ve accepted things and then you can further explore your identity, that’s an amazing area to be in, and I think [this bill] would make you doubt yourself when you’re in that space.”

The bill characterizes puberty blockers as “risky” and gender-affirming care as “experimentation,” claiming that “the prescribing of puberty-blocking drugs is being done despite the lack of any longitudinal studies evaluating the risks and benefits of using these drugs.” However, these accusations are not accurate. There

NEWS

have been many widely accredited studies done about the effects of puberty blockers on children and adolescents. Most indicate that puberty blockers help minors with the distress they feel around their gender, that risks associated with the blockers are minimal, and that they should be considered a valuable option in the clinical treatment of gender dysphoria.

As a result, the bill has been widely criticized by LGBT activists and medical organizations alike. The denigration of a widely-recognized and research-backed treatment for gender dysphoria in minors is indicative, for many providers, of the increasing devaluing of medical consensus and the prioritizing of misinformation in legislation. Ariel Watriss, a gender-affirming nurse practitioner at Tufts, called this characterization “insulting to everyone involved,” and said that the bill “uses just enough scientific and medical language to come across as potentially legit … [the legislators] did some research on what things mean, but then they took the data and completely manipulated it and used it to their advantage and it’s just simply not true.”

Sophomore El Kocay also spoke on the bill’s description of puberty-blockers, and said that “the use of words like risky and experimental is definitely done on purpose and … it’s definitely not how policy should be written.” They explained some of the societal effects of this mischaracterization of gender-affirming care: “You look to legislation as fact—people reading the legislation assume that the lawmakers are using objective fact, and there’s just a constant cycle of public opinion and culture affecting policy and legislation and vice versa. People are going to come away from this misinformed … the effects of that will definitely be felt from this bill.”

In addition to anxieties surrounding misinformation, the bill has also facilitated discussions about the importance of access to gender-affirming care. Given that Arkansas already has limited access to this kind of treatment, Watriss spoke on the importance of reforming healthcare to center gender diversity and said, “as a baseline component of health care, we have to be inclusive of gender expression beyond the binary in whatever capacity that means.”

She continued, “Unfortunately, the places DESIGN BY JANIE INGRASSIA, ART BY KELLY TAN

where there’s still this sort of seeping ignorance and this anger towards things that don’t fit into these very narrow lines are the very places it’s getting more vocal … and I’m very curious to see how it’s going to shape access in the states around Arkansas and what that’s going to do.”

Guttierez, when speaking on the limited access to care that many young trans people face, advocated for a sweeping approach to healthcare reform. “Many youth, particularly trans youth of color, don’t have the financial, familial, and/or physical means to access care in the first place … so when we’re taking action and advocating for the ‘rights’ of transgender youth, we must be fighting for access for all. That means making gender-affirming care accessible to working-class, racially marginalized, homeless, and closeted youth—and, most importantly, we must prioritize eliminating the systems of oppression and the policies that create these circumstances,” said Guttierez.

In an email to the Tufts Observer, Dr. Tucker, a staff clinician with CMHS, suggested that in order to do this, “[people in power] would first have to acknowledge the harm that has been done and then rebuild systems to allow for healing. Unfortunately, we’re not historically very good at that part.”

Thus, the main response to House Bill 1570 is fear that this bill will endanger trans youth. WPATH explains that when providers decide to remain neutral on prescribing gender-affirming treatment, they are actually making the active decision to prolong gender dysphoria, as well as the higher rates of suicide, self harm, anxiety, and the poorer quality of life associated with it.

Talwar elaborated on the emotional effects of this medical neglect. “Without access to such surgery … or treatment, you’re harming a person constantly, 24/7, for a long period of time. You’re telling them that, ‘well, you’re uncomfortable in this body … this body makes your skin crawl, but you have to exist within it because we hate you and our hate is stronger than your identity,’” they said.

In the absence of state-certified healthcare, there are concerns about the alternatives to which trans youth will turn. Watriss compares it to the fears surrounding

abortion rights: “I am reminded of access to abortion and how people have gone to whatever ends that they need to go to get what they need. And it just makes me think about all of these families in Arkansas who are trying to help the young people in their lives … There are ways that there’s access in certain states to get medical care beyond the traditional pathways … but what lengths are they going to go to to get this care?”

There has been a persistent movement to remove this law and oppressive structures like it by various organizations and LGBT advocacy groups. Legal repercussions are in the works, according to Chase Strangio, the deputy director for transgender justice with the ACLU’s LGBTQ & HIV Project, who said in a statement that “the ACLU is preparing litigation as we speak.”

Tucker encouraged cisgender allies to consider their place in the movement and to “step up, donate, and support trans and nonbinary folx who are doing this work, feeling unsafe, and needing support during this time, without expecting credit or acknowledgment for something that we should have already been doing for each other as humans.”

They also encouraged allies to “check on your close trans & nonbinary family/ friends/loved ones who might be impacted, but not in a way that requires labor or acknowledgment from them (“hey, I heard about the anti-trans legislation that was just proposed in [their state]—how have you been managing? Is there any way I can support you?”).”

Within the Tufts community, Guttierez emphasized the importance of communal support during this time and suggested that people come to the LGBT Center for resources, encouraging students to “find and reach out to trans-affirming organizations, communities, and networks near them or in their state.”

Ultimately, there is a sentiment of solidarity and urgency building in the trans community around this issue. Calls are being made all across the country for widespread change in relation to trans healthcare and the wellbeing of trans youth. As Watriss said, “[the bill] is sending a really horrific message to kids who really, really need our support, so [healthcare] just has to be better … it’s just basic humanity.”

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 21

By Gracie Theobald-Williams

STR U GGLE A ND SUSTENANCE:

A LOOK AT THE DANISH PASTRY HOUSE, COVID, AND COMMUNITY

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22 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

W

hen customers walk into the Danish Pastry House on Boston Avenue for the first time, they might notice the golden tones of the interior or the spacious seating area. They may see the glass display case filled with fruit tarts, cookies, and slices of chocolate cake. They might observe a woman behind the counter happily chatting with customers.

The Danish Pastry House is a small local business just down the hill from Tufts that serves pastries, cakes, and loaves of bread. Its Medford location is a cafe and a retail bakery, meaning that its products are sold directly to consumers. There is also a location in Watertown that primarily sells baked goods to wholesale partners. These include places like coffee shops and hotels, who then go on to sell these baked goods to individual consumers.

Ulla Winkler has been the owner of the Danish Pastry House, known as DPH, since 2004. Her aims for running the shop are sim-

ple: “I’m not driven by money. I’m driven by happy customers. And that’s my main goal, to make people happy and sell something.”

The shop means a lot to Winkler. “It’s my whole soul. I put so much into it, but it’s also something [I] just love doing,” Winkler said. “I certainly don’t make a lot of money on it… But … for me, it’s a blessing.

I love flowers. And I love pastries. I would say [those are] my two favorite things. And I had a flower shop and now I have a bakery. How more lucky [sic] can I be?”

Winkler’s joy in running DPH reverberates outward to the people she interacts with. Shanni Zhou, a first-year who has been working at DPH for around a month and a half, said, “I know that a lot of people come in and are regulars. And I think they really enjoy the fact that it’s a small business. And Ulla is there pretty often… A lot of people will come in and ask for her.”

While Winkler expressed a lot of gratitude for the Danish Pastry House, she also

CAMPUS

acknowledged that times have been difficult. DPH was closed for nine months due first to a fire and then to COVID-19. Winkler said, “So we had a little fire in January. And then before the insurance settled and everything, COVID set in. So then we opened in September.”

The operations of the Medford and Watertown locations are linked, which creates challenges in a pandemic. A lot of the baking for Medford happens in Watertown, so the Medford location relies on staff in Watertown to produce goods for the Medford shop. One of the main clients that Watertown serves are hotels, but many hotels have been closed due to COVID-19. This is problematic for both locations. Winkler said, “Mainly, they make the pastries in Watertown. If they have no income, then they suddenly [don’t] have any money to buy anything [to use to] produce [goods for] me. Other hotels [are] maybe like 80, 90 percent of [Watertown’s] bread and butter. And suddenly [this business] comes to a total halt. What happened to all your bills? They have to let so many people go.”

There has been a massive reduction in Watertown’s staff, which has greatly impacted the operations of the Danish Pastry House. Winkler said, “I do bake a little bit, especially with COVID, because we do a lot of baking in Watertown. But since [Watertown had] to cut staff down like 90 percent… that means [Watertown] didn’t have anyone to bake for me so much in Medford.”

Baking in Medford, as opposed to Watertown, limits what the Danish Pastry House can produce. Winkler said, “[Some things] you cannot really bake. For example … the pastries … you have to roll [them] out. Danish pastries [are] a sack of 27 layers of pastry dough. So you have to fold it and fold it and then you roll it.

Our baking table in Watertown [is] maybe between 25 and 30 feet long. It’s very, very big. So in Medford we don’t have space for it, but we can make smaller stuff.”

Luckily, DPH has received some help in the form of Payment Protection Program (PPP) loans. These loans have allowed them to resume some of their previous operations that they had to stop due to COVID-19. PPP loans are meant to incentivize small businesses to keep their

workers employed. Winkler explained the positive effects of receiving these loans.

She said, “We were able to hire more people in Watertown so we can have more [products] back.”

Another hardship as a result of COVID-19 has been reduced traffic to the shop.

DPH has been popular among Tufts students, particularly before the pandemic.

Faith Whyte, a senior who goes to DPH about once a week, explained how some students’ habits have changed: “I know that before COVID it was a lot more popular [among Tufts students], but then they shut down … so they were just closed for a long time,” she said. “I feel like now, they don’t have as much of a role in the campus, because a lot of people just don’t know that they’re open or that they’re back to their normal operations.”

Although COVID-19 has decreased the number of people who come to the shop each day, the Danish Pastry House plays an important role in the community.

Serena Laing, a junior who works at DPH, said, “I think that it’s a really special and unique place because there’s … Starbucks and all these big chains that kind of don’t really have an association with the community, and places like this that are able to stay in business and be able to … have a little more character to them are really important … I think it’s really special that Ulla has a relationship with a lot of people in the community, and she’ll know people by name.”

Laing also described how DPH establishes a special physical location. Laing said, “It really just helps add … a sense of place … It’s just a staple of Boston Ave.” Laing continued, “I grew up here in Boston, but then I moved to Minnesota.

And in Minnesota, there’s so many less little mom and pop shops … That’s something that’s really unique to Boston … how many little gems there are hidden along random streets.” Small businesses do more than just provide high-quality products or foster connection between people; through their individuality, they may contribute to people’s sense of home.

Small businesses positively impact the community in many other tangible ways, such as by providing local job opportunities and a diversity of products to consumers. Fifty-two percent of small business

DESIGN BY JOANNA KLESZCZEWSKI, ART BY KATHARINE BOWERS

owners donate to charity, and 90 percent of those who donate give money to local initiatives. They also support other small businesses by requesting services that they need from other local businesses.

Whyte described what DPH means to her: “It was always peaceful and very clean and it’s just a positive space to be in,” she said. “I just appreciate … always knowing that there’s a place that I can do my work, and where I won’t be distracted and stuff.

And it means a lot to me because it’s … where I go and meet people. I meet up with a little girl from my church [at DPH] … and I have lots of memories of me going there with other people and chatting and just talking about life.”

DPH is important to many Tufts students across campus. Whyte described, “When DPH first opened back up, students would go … [and] ask them … ‘How’s business been’ … they were honest: they’re like ‘We’re struggling, people don’t know we’re open,’ and a lot of students came around DPH, they bought them a new sign to put outside … people were really supportive of getting DPH back on their feet and I feel like that kind of shows how much … the business meant to people before COVID.” Despite suffering hardships, Winkler emphasized her gratitude to Tufts students: “I’m really grateful because the students have been so sweet. That is just so heartwarming … I’m so grateful for it. They have come in, they made me a sign, they all donated money, [collected] money. And some people have made Instagrams for me. It is so beautiful. That is worth everything for me.

Because all the kindness people have shown me … I think that is something beautiful that has come out of COVID.”

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 23

NEWS

162 SHOOTINGS IN FOUR MONTHS: STUDENTS CALL FOR GUN CONTROL ACTION

By Eleanor Fucetola

24 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

NEWS

A

fter eight people were murdered in a mass shooting at an Indianapolis FedEx facility on April 15, 2021, the United States counted its 45th mass shooting since March 16, when a white man shot eight people, six of whom were women of Asian descent, in a racially-charged hate crime at three Atlantaarea spas. As more Americans receive the COVID-19 vaccine and people begin to gather in larger numbers, many people fear a return to frequent gun violence tragedies. Tufts students, who have lived through news coverage of hundreds of mass shootings and few successful gun control policies in their lifetimes, are especially concerned that the Biden administration will not pass urgent reform.

In 2019, the Tufts University Tisch College Center for Information & Research on Civic Learning and Engagement (CIRCLE) found that “almost two-thirds (64%) of youth said they had paid ‘some’ or ‘a lot’ of attention to news about the Parkland, [Florida] shooting in 2018.” In response to the tragic shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, students of the high school and supporters of the Parkland community around the country rallied together to fight for gun violence prevention. Student activists founded Never Again MSD, which called for protests and demonstrations to lobby for anti-gun violence legislation, and co-organized the March for Our Lives in Washington, D.C. These calls for stricter gun control laws from the youth have been renewed, as America has counted 162 mass shootings this year as of April 28. Tufts student activist Daniel Zackin is frustrated with the lack of serious gun control policy. “I don’t see how after all of these perfect examples of what happens when anyone can get an assault weapon, people cannot agree that we need stricter gun laws,” said Zackin.

Still, he is optimistic that youth voices will be loud enough to convince politicians that change is necessary. “People my age, including my fellow schoolmates, are the ones highlighting the problem of gun violence and making it part of a national conversation, which hopefully will have an impact on politics and in the media.”

After a mass shooting at a supermarket in Boulder, Colorado on March 22, during which 10 people were killed, President Biden signed a series of executive orders meant to begin the process of tackling gun violence in America. “There’s no reason someone needs a weapon of war with 100 rounds, 100 bullets, that can be fired from that weapon,” Biden said while discussing the executive orders on April 15.

On April 16, President Biden also called on Senate Republicans to support a bill that was passed by the House of Representatives, which has already voted in favor of two significant bills. The first measure expands background checks to include purchases of weapons over the internet and at gun shows. Currently, neither type of purchase requires vetting. “Background checks and vetting for gun purchases just make sense. You should have to pass a test to operate a firearm the same way you have to pass a test to drive a car,” Zackin said. Eight House Republicans joined Democrats in voting for the legislation. The DESIGN BY JANIE INGRASSIA, ART BY KELLY TAN

second bill grants authorities 10 business days to complete federal background checks before a gun sale must be licensed. Currently, sales can proceed if the government fails to complete a background check of a prospective buyer within three days. Only two Republicans voted in favor of the legislation.

“PEOPLE MY AGE, INCLUDING MY FELLOW SCHOOLMATES, ARE THE ONES HIGHLIGHTING THE PROBLEM OF GUN VIOLENCE AND MAKING IT PART OF A NATIONAL CONVERSATION, WHICH HOPEFULLY WILL HAVE AN IMPACT ON POLITICS AND IN THE MEDIA.”

Tufts Newhouse Civic Studies Professor Brian Schaffner’s research in 2019 examined how mass shootings influence public sentiment toward gun control and ultimately lead to limited legislative action. “In our study, we tested whether people living near mass shooting events were likely to shift their views,” said Schaffner.

“What we found is that Democrats became even more supportive of stricter gun control legislation, while Republicans became even more opposed to it.” This polarization makes policy change very difficult. “I think the reason for this is that each tragic mass shooting brings an intense debate about gun control, and partisans mostly follow the lead of what the politicians from their own party are saying about the issue,” said Schaffner.

For either of the bills passed by the House to be passed by the Senate in their current form, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer will have to convince many Republican senators as well as Democratic Senator Joe Manchin—who has openly opposed the bills—to vote in favor of them, though this is unlikely to happen.

Despite the lack of success in passing gun safety laws in the face of hundreds of mass shootings, young voters’ choices for state and federal politicians are heavily influenced by gun violence tragedies. CIRCLE data after the Parkland shooting showed that “Among all 18- to 24-year-olds, 43 percent said that the shooting influenced their vote choice for Congress and in local elections at least “somewhat,” with 20 percent saying that it affected their decision “a lot.”’ If Zackin is right, youth leadership in campaigns for gun control laws could make a significant impact on voter turnout and on the decisions of lawmakers. Zackin hopes that in the future, he and his fellow students will no longer be asking the question, “How many mass shootings will it take for the country to agree that we need gun reform?”

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 25

ARTS & CULTURE

REMEMBERING THE COLONIAL ROOTS OF THE ROYAL FAMILY

By Isabelle Charles

I

t was a Sunday evening when I checked my Twitter feed and was met with a flood of Oprah images accompanied by the phrase “were you silent or silenced?”

The origin: Oprah’s interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Set in a sunny Santa Barbara garden, the interview seemingly took the world by storm as Markle detailed both her explicit and implicit experiences of racism after marrying into the Royal family. Markle, an actress, a divorceé, and a United States citizen, broke the tradition of a typical spouse marrying into the modern British Royal Family. To top it off, she is Black. The interview brought in a whopping 49.1 million viewers worldwide, a number that speaks to the public’s level of intrigue. One of the more shocking moments of the interview, which made Winfrey’s jaw drop, was when Markle revealed that members of the Royal Family expressed concern over how dark the

26 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

skin tone of Archie, her son with Prince Harry, would be. While this comment evinces a warped racist and colorist outlook, should we be surprised, given the family’s historic engagement in both slavery and colonization?

Professor H. Adlai Murdoch, the director of the Africana Studies program at Tufts, said, “What they reveal about how [Meghan Markle has] been treated within the family was somewhat disconcerting …

When they revealed that there was a question [of] ‘what color this baby is going to be,’ … that was disconcerting … but not a surprise at the same time.”

Sophomore Isha Vazirani recalled, “For me, it was like the Royal family is racist, and we have known that for years. Especially for me; I am from India. It wasn’t shocking to me at all that there were concerns about [baby Archie’s] race.”

Today, the British Royal family have little say in the political matters of the

country. Their duties reside in public appearances, charity work, and touring the Commonwealth, a political association of 54 former British colonies with the Queen as its figurehead. Murdoch explained, “The monarchy has been a constitutional monarchy. In other words, there has been no direct rule by the King or Queen of England since the early 1800s. Parliament passes laws, and then they take the law to the Queen, and the Queen signs it. The Queen has no influence over the law itself, the form it takes, or whether it is passed or not.”

Despite a lack of political power today, the British Royal Empire is notorious for colonizing huge swaths of the world: Kenya, Jamaica, Ghana, Hong Kong, Botswana, India, parts of the US, Canada, and more. A huge pillar of colonialism is enforcing racial hierarchies, and it is not a coincidence that many of these nations are historically made up of non-white people.

ARTS & CULTURE

The societal and social impact of systemic history constantly seeps into the present.

Yet, there is this level of admiration surrounding the Royal family. Why? Murdoch painted a picture of what it was like growing up in Antigua and Barbuda, a former British colony in the Caribbean and a member of the Commonwealth.

“If you grew up in the Caribbean, like myself, it is almost impossible to get away from the Royal family … when we were in school the exercise book that we used had a picture of the Queen on the cover … They are present in your consciousness; you can’t really escape them the way people can escape them [in the US],” he said. This celebrity-like status and image serve as a way for the Queen to seem untouchable, almost mythical, and mysterious. Children grow up knowing that she is important and that there is a reserved pedestal for her in the social hierarchy.

Murdoch continued, “Every year [in Antigua], we hold a celebration to mark the Queen’s official birthday. It is a huge parade. Military, police, bands, Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, all in uniform, the Governor General stands there taking the salute, it is like the entire island nation is aware of this.”

The lingering effects of colonialism exist in everyday life; parts of the world where English is widely spoken are examples. The colonial agenda is pursued through education, which contributes to children’s mental models and how they think about the world. It is common for colonizing powers to force a narrative on their colonies that mimics their own values and society, which therefore positions the colonizers as superior. Even today, there are notable remnants of the colonial system in former British colonies.

Isha Vazirani said, “The signs of British colonization [are a] part of everyday life. I went to a Christian high school that was created during the British rule, and we follow the British system … [In India, there is admiration] towards … white people. In general, there is some sort of inferiority complex, not in a good way.

It is not explicit, no one says it … There’s

DESIGN BY JULIA STEINER, ART BY AVIVA ROSENBERG

an inherent amount of importance given to someone just because they are white which I think is unfounded … that really needs to be changed.”

“It is a product of colonialism, for so many years we were made to feel inferior, we were not given opportunities … resources were stolen,” Vazirani said. “At country clubs, there would be signs that very clearly said ‘no dogs or Indians allowed,’ so when you are reduced to the level of an animal for so many years, you are going to feel it.”

We don’t always name these as effects of colonialism, and herein lies the issue. It is not easy for Meghan Markle to describe her experience of racism, especially know-

AT THE VERY ROOT OF THE ISSUE, AND WHAT IS EASILY LOST IN DISCUSSION, IS THE HISTORY OF COLONIZATION IN WHICH RACIAL HIERARCHY WAS PERPETUATED AND ENFORCED. ing that audiences around the globe were watching and listening closely. At the very root of the issue, and what is easily lost in discussion, is the history of colonization in which racial hierarchy was perpetuated and enforced. European missionaries often expressed to their citizens that they were “civilizing” the masses in order to justify colonization and the brutal, violent treatment they engaged in. But, we are not actively acknowledging the simple fact that the British Royal family was historically responsible for this colonial violence, which thrived off of superiority and inferiority complexes, racism, and plain old pillaging. Even if the British Royal family and the Queen are mere symbols of a country’s history, they still bear that history in all of its atrocities and complexities.

Part of this has to do with the “repackag-

ing and rebranding of the Royal family,” according to Campbell Simmons, a member of the class of 2020. “There is a ton of marketing and money making the Royal family look like these parents of the planet … They have done a ton of rebranding [from] being the leaders of a literal empire to being the retired grandparents … which is insane.”

Simmons continued, “They want us to view the Royal family in really specific ways so that we are not ever going to rise up against them. That is really important that [we think] the Royal family are on our side … but they caused a lot of harm.”

The combination of the legacy of colonization and Britain’s role in the Trans-Atlantic slave trade creates more complexities when it comes to racial hierachies, specifically in regards to Black people. The TransAtlantic slave trade began with Queen Elizabeth I, who in the 1560s “sponsored” John Hawkins, a slave trader and sailor. In other words, the Royal family perpetuated the trade and commodification of human beings. Given this history, it is not hard to imagine this racist and colorist thinking and mindset to be generational.

The larger and more systemic roots of the colonial project have never been reconciled in the first place. There has been no acknowledgment of the deep wounds that have been created by the Royal family’s ancestors and the ways in which the current Royal family continues to profit from this, even as figureheads or as a publicly apolitical unit. Considering the fanfare that surrounds the family, we have all been exposed to some level of this Royal rebranding, like the propaganda from Murdoch’s school books in Antigua, Vazirani’s educational experience at a Christian high school in India, or Simmons’s perceptions of the royals growing up in the US. However, Markle’s interview is a small reminder of a larger issue. Sometimes history is forgotten in the glitz and glamour around what it means to be royalty, but we have to stay vigilant. By actively remembering the colonial roots of the Royal family, we can stay grounded in our understanding of the harm caused by the British empire.

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 27

VOICES

PAS DE PANIQUE PAS DE PANIQUE PAS DE PANIQUE

By Haruka Noishiki

There was a 14.3 percent chance that March 13, 2020, would fall on the one day of the week that would make it unlucky.

When the Bible told us the misfortunes of March 13, a Friday, the writers surely didn’t mean to freak out a 21-year-old college student headed back to a country that was ready to close its borders on her. But it did. I was so sure that something would go wrong on this trip back from Paris to Boston. I was a Japanese citizen on a F-1 student visa returning to the US on the last day non-citizens would be allowed into the country. I only found out that I needed to head back to the US on March 11, a short 28 TUFTS OBSERVER MAY 3, 2021

40 hours before my flight, when the US President announced that borders would close to those who were not citizens or permanent residents on March 13 at midnight. I was scheduled to take the cheapest flight combination possible, with two transits planned in London and Casablanca.

The morning after we got the announcement, I begged my host mother to take me to the cellar where she insisted that I store my larger luggage at the start of the semester. For my 74-year-old host mother, bringing up the luggage from the basement opened up a change of plans, an uncertainty beyond the Tufts in Paris program

schedule. She hadn’t yet gotten behind the idea that the pandemic was here in Paris.

She had too much faith in the Christian radio programs and the French public health system. When I finally walked out of the wood and stone basement of the Haussmannian apartment with my plastic red suitcase, it was already mid-afternoon. In the guest room, I packed, all while bidding goodbye to the city that seemed to beat the same rhythm as normal.

What stung the most was watching my American peers lean on their parents to sort their affairs. I watched them leave on $3000 non-stop flights just six hours DESIGN BY CARINA LO, ART BY AIDAN CHANG

VOICES after we found out about the US border closure to foreigners, even when they had much more time to spare. They were not going to be the ones banned from returning stateside. I scrambled to decide between the safety of home in Japan or the possibility of a summer internship in the US. I booked the trip to Boston using all the rewards I could scrape together, frantically contacting Tufts offices and booking flights that disappeared by the minute under sudden demand. The phrase that our abroad program coordinator liked to repeat was my mantra in the last 40 hours— pas de panique. Everything will be okay.

As I packed my new hummingbirdadorned water bottle, too-chic light blue suede heels, and hastily-bought L’Occitane souvenirs, I blankly tossed back in my suitcases all the ‘trashfits’ I thought I’d get to leave behind. For this trip, I had brought as much of the clothing I was planning to phase out so that, once the season turned warmer, I could donate and discard the long-sleeves and sweaters to travel lighter.

On March 7, the Saturday before we got sent home, most of my long-sleeves were still in my closet when we went on what would end up being our last program trip. We gathered at 8:00 a.m. at the Guerre Montparnasse for our program trip to the mustard capital, Dijon. There was already much talk of the coronavirus among the Haussmannian apartmentlined streets of Paris and shortages of hand sanitizer bottles at the pharmacies marked with neon green crosses. In Dijon, instead of hunting for mustard that I hated anyway, I spent 40 minutes searching for face masks—most pharmacies had hand-written pieces of paper taped on their windows that read “pas de masque.”

Pas de panique. Back in my room in Paris, per my mother’s instruction, I had already secretly stocked up on toilet paper (it was €1 at Franprix) and a large, €12 bottle of hand sanitizer.

Paris did not revolutionize my French, did not find me sun-kissed in Greece in May like I had planned out in the 8th tab of my spreadsheet, did not find me visiting my Swiss high school friend in Edinburgh.

It also didn’t find me under the beautiful stained glass at Sagrada Familia in Barcelona on April 11, just a short month after our March 13 expulsion. Just a year later, the two months I spent in Paris feels like a dream that I woke up from too soon, with only my first gray hair to show for it.

But Paris landed me in London and Western Europe for the first time. Paris gave me a host family and a beautiful apartment in the 9ième arrondissement, just a 10-minute trot from Opera Garnier.

It fed me endless €1 baguettes with just the right crunch and chew and €3 student meals that beat any $18 dining hall meal in the US in quality and satisfactory drowsiness that I would flick away with the 60¢ espresso from the café downstairs. In Paris, I took four courses for the first time in my life, a light course load for me, as I normally set myself on a six- or seven-course packed schedule. My only worry was to find a summer internship. My mornings were filled with air still light and soft, waiting to be grounded by the touch of cigarettes followed with slow bus rides as the sky slowly warmed. My afternoons passed in the KB Café in Montmartre, dreaming about the lives of the little children on the six-horsed merry-go-round. The cobble stones under my sea blue kitten heels felt friendly as I walked back from choir practice in the evening.

A year later, I remember Paris with a glow smudged with a little bit of smoke from the various protests. In the 14ième arrondissement, I would briskly walk by cars on fire, a sharp contrast from the quiet tour we had just finished in the film museum down the street. Pas de panique. I remember our first weeks without a functioning metro. This dysfunction shouldn’t have caught us American students off guard, with our experiences with

the MBTA sometimes on fire, but it did give us dilemmas of showing up to class an hour later with beads of sweat marking our unexpected long walks across the city. Pas de panique. I’m glad that the local program staff were lenient enough that I had the time to look around on those hasty walks. I’m glad that our program befriended the crepe-maker, Henri, with a stand on Rue Montparnasse that had the best churros. They were 24 for €12, perfect for sharing in the hallways of the strictly no-food-upstairs cultural center where we took classes.

The second week of March is not my favorite. On March 11, 2011, dishwarerattling and door frame-crushing earthquakes and tsunamis hit Northeast Japan, where my family and I lived. The morning of March 13, 2020, on my metro ride to the airport, I gripped my student pass tight.

I was so sure that something would go wrong. But nothing did. I hardly remember rolling my white carry-on suitcase through Immigration. I sat down at Boston Logan on a too-cold plastic seat that could fit me and one of my duffels easily in one spot. I switched on my phone and saw the numbers on my lock screen reflect Eastern Standard Time. Pas de panique.

The Tufts in Paris program owes me about €20 in reimbursements, and Paris owes me a couple more months. I owe two frenzied yet vibrant months of my life to the City of Lights and a simple phrase I rarely heeded.

MAY 3, 2021 TUFTS OBSERVER 29