Charing Sep 2014 by The Village Directory

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September 2014

Spring Grove School

Spring Grove School A great place to grow

Open Morning with children’s activities

Saturday 4th October 9.30am - 12.00pm • • • • • •

Small classes - ensuring 1:1 attention and support A family atmosphere - we know every child and their family A rich programme of Music, French, Art, PE and Science Outstanding Results in our National assessment exams Exceptional Kent Test Results The production of charming, motivated and happy children

Spring Grove School, Harville Road, Wye, TN25 5EZ Tel: 01233 812337 Email: office@springgroveschool.co.uk www.springgroveschool.co.uk

G E

L GA R A R A T TENTERDEN

Supply Any Make of Vehicle Both New and Used Arrange All Types of Vehicle Finance & Leasing Provide Service, Repairs & MOT Testing Dent Removal, Accident Damage Repairs & Bodywork Restoration arranged Spares, Accessories, Exhausts & Batteries Tyres at Competitive Prices - 4 Wheel Laser Alignment Sඎඇ Eඊඎංඉඉൾൽ Aංඋ Cඈඇൽංඍංඈඇංඇ඀ Sൾඋඏංർൾ Cൾඇඍඋൾ

MOTABILITY GRADE A QUALITY END OF CONTRACT CARS

S W O N

G N I Y UPPL

• • • • •

2-3 Yrs Old 1 Owner Low Mileage Main Dealer Serviced No Modifications

We have direct access to Motability’s website where we can view cars offered to us. Typically Motability have over 1500 cars for sale, all one owner, main dealer serviced with low mileage. The cars we supply are prepared to the very highest standards. When you visit our showroom we are able to log on to the Motability website and using our customer friendly dual screen, show full details including pictures and service history. Each car is carefully inspected inside and out by experienced staff to ensure they are supplied in as perfect condition as possible. Here our customers are able to order the model and colour they want with an anticipated delivery time of 21 days. As you would expect from a family business established for 48 years, all dealer facilities are available, including part exchange and competitive finance. We encourage you to visit our showroom where Sales Manager Phil Cunningham looks forward to assisting you.

“For a friendly service from a family business” Rൾൺඋ ඈൿ Hඌൻർ Bൺඇ඄ - Hං඀ඁ Sඍඋൾൾඍ, Tൾඇඍൾඋൽൾඇ, Kൾඇඍ TN30 6BD

Telephone: (01580)

764444

w w w. c e nt r a lg a ra g e te n te rd e n . c o . u k

Welcome Hi everyone, Welcome to September, a busy month of new beginings. The begining of the autumn season and the begining of a new accademic year. Children are returning to school following the summer break, they might not be too pleased but as a parent the routine is appreciated. The arrival of September has made me realise that there is precious little time left to finish off our outdoor tasks. We still have work to do to prepare for winter, we sprung a leak in our chimney breast last winter resulting in a significant amount of water pouring into the fireplace in the midst of one of last winter’s storms. This was caused by the breakdown of some pointing, so we need the fine weather to hold so that we can fix it. Unfortunately some wasps have decided to nest there now and my husband is extremely allergic to wasp stings this looks like a job for a Pest Controller - for the wasps, not my husband! The new season is also a reminder to place my firewood order before the guys get too busy and to make sure the chimney is swept and ready to go when the cold sets in. Our cars also need work completed before any bad weather sets in, the list is endless! At least my petrol head son is now able to show what he’s made of, having spent most of August covered in grease, with his head under the bonnet of my car. The work he’s carried out would have cost me a fortune but there’s always a catch - in return I have agreed to add him to my insurance! Until next time have a great month.

~ Debbie T: 01233 720488 e: info@ thevillagedirectory.co.uk e: events@thevillagedirectory.co.uk w: www.thevillagedirectory.co.uk

October Issue Deadline 1st September

Piano Lessons From 9.30am to 8.30pm, Charing Heath

Mrs Jane Cooper GGSM, ARCM & AGSM

Tel 01233 714787 Lots of Experience, from Beginners to Grade 8

T: 07776 453886 allengardensolutions.co.uk

Lawn Care Turfing Garden Maintenance Hedges/ Borders Cut & Cleared

KILBYS PEST CONTROL • All Rodents and Insects • WASP NEST SPECIALIST • SAME DAY SERVICE

• 7 days a week • Fully Insured • Est 1983

01233 840948

07756007428

KILBYS CHIMNEY SWEEP • Pots/Cowls/Birdguards Fitted Brush and Vac • Certificates Issued • Fully Insured • ICS Registered • Family Run, Est 1983

01233 840948 07756007428

LogHeat Log Heat Seasoned & Kiln Dried Logs www.logheat.co.uk

07966 796 498 / 01233 733373

Advertise Here £17 per month plus vat 10% Discount on 6 month Bookings

Tel 01233 720488

PODIATRY/CHIROPODY(HCPC Reg) F O OT C L I N I C 01233 613 477 07779 014544

Has Opened Another Foot Clinic

CHARING

Every Wednesday at Vision Hair & Beauty

Unit 2, Brenchley Mews, School Road, Charing TN27 0JW

the garden

Credit Crunch Gardening by Pippa Greenwood

If you feel that your garden has become an expensive hobby, check-out my top tips for CreditCrunch Gardening.

• Apply for an allotment. An allotment opens up a whole new opportunity to grow almost unlimited food at very little cost, get exercise without paying for the gym, and learn a lot from your neighbouring plot holders. • Gardeners are a very generous bunch, so don’t feel embarrassed to ask, friends, neighbours, or fellow allotmenteers for cuttings or seedlings of plants that you have admired. It is part of what gardening is all about. • Collect softish, deciduous leaves to make free soil improver. Just make a ‘cage’ from galvanised wire with posts at the corners or cram the leaves into bin liners and puncture a few holes. • Make the most of every bit of fruit and veg that your garden or allotment produces. Make jams, chutnies, jellies and of course bottle or freeze just about anything else. • Make your own wasp trap. Use a jam jar part filled with stale jam, mixed with water and topped with tin foil with a few holes in it made using a pencil. • Many local councils offer really good value composters and

•

compost bins. Better still, if you’re at all handy with the hammer and nails, create your own from old pallets or floor boards. Fill a flowerbed with colour by sowing it with hardy annual seeds – some can be collected from existing plants, others from packet seed, often at under £1 per packet. Ask your local pub to give you any stale beer from the driptrays and use it as slug bait. Use an old plastic beaker part filled with beer and placed so that the rim is about 1cm above soil level in a slug and snail prone area. Enjoy some wild food. Many garden plants are edible, and don’t forget the old favourites such as hedgerow blackberries - great for crumble, stewed with some apple or for making into bramble jelly. Many fruits sold in the supermarket come in smart, clear-plastic trays, which can be used as miniature seed trays, and most even come with a clear plastic top, the perfect mini propagator lid. Growing your own vegetables really can save you a packet. Right now you can order in seed for crops, and onion sets and garlic for crops early next summer. Then early in the year start planting potatoes and

sowing seed. • Look after your garden tools. Store them in a dry shed or garage, wipe over any metal parts with an oily rag to keep rust at bay and they’ll last years longer. • Invest in a few raspberry canes. This has to be the best money saving crop, as they are expensive in the shops. Once established autumn fruiting varieties yield heavy crops and can give you ‘posh’ fruit....for just pennies. • The garden furniture is probably the most costly item in your garden and statistics show it’s what gardeners spend most money on replacing. Remove washable seat-pads and cushions first, wash and dry these and then cover the furniture up or move it into a shed or garage if possible. Visit Pippa’s website www. pippagreenwood.com for a great range of gardening products including Pippa’s favourite weeder, Nemaslug, Nemasys caterpillar, slug, ant and other biological controls, Enviromesh & Enviroﬂeece and lots more besides.

the garden Our Complete Open Weekend Dates for 2014 PLUCKLEY ROAD BETHERSDEN KENT

www.stonegreennurseries.co.uk Wholesale Nursery Open to the Public On the 5th,6th, 7th then 26th & 27th & 28th September

We grow our vast range of plants with passion and pride for garden designers, landscapers, local nurseries, farm shops and other horticulture outlets. We have a truly exquisite range to offer you from the tried and tested to the more unusual. You will be making your selection direct from our growing beds! You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t buy fresher. Fantastic range and fair prices. Should you need help with your selection we also have knowledgeable staff to help answer your questions.

*Shrubs* Trees* Herbaceous Perennials * Climbers * Large Plants for Instant Impact*

September 5th - 6th - 7th 26th - 27th - 28th Fri 10am-5pm, Sat, Sun & BHM 9am-5pm

Truly a Gardeners Paradise! Please remember we are only open on these dates. We accept most major credit cards

Pluckley Road Bethersden TN26 3ET For detailed directions please see our website. Follow day-glow signs from A20 at Charing and A28 at Bethersden

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J Kemp Tree Care Treework Treework, k Fencing Fencing, Stump Grinding & Ground Maintenance All aspects undertaken - N.P.T.C Qualified Free Estimates - Fully Insured - All areas covered For A Professional Service at the Right Price

Office: 07845 798 942 www.jkemptreecare.co.uk

All Seasons Garden Services Over 20 years experience All aspects of garden care undertaken Fully insured

T: 01233 665322 M: 07941 205 374 Email: rob@ashford-gardening.co.uk

Ashwoods

Tree Work & Fencing Services Stephen Hulbert NPTC T: 01227 732253 M: 07867 557998 www.ashwoods.net

j .b. landscape design, construction & grounds maintenance

01795 427060 01233 714680 www.jblandscape.co.uk

GARDENS • GROUNDS MAINTENANCE • COMMERCIAL LANDSCAPING WE HAVE BEEN CREATING BEAUTIFUL GARDENS FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS. FROM WATER FEATURES TO PATIOS, POOLS TO PAGODAS, WE WORK CLOSELY WITH YOU TO TURN YOUR IDEAS INTO REALITY. 6

A Complete and Comprehensive Tree Care Service since 1907 For over 100 years, Bartlett Tree Experts has led both the science and services that make your landscape thrive. No matter the size or scope of your needs, our arborists bring a rare mix of groundbreaking research, global resources and a local service approach to every task at hand. Trees add so much value to our lives; Bartlett adds even more value to your trees.

01233 367141 ashford@bartlettuk.com www.bartlett.com

the garden & del TN ive 24 ry ar in t ea he s*

SEASONED LOGS

fr e 23 e

You’ve tried the rest now try the best. 30 years of experience

Twin Wheel Tipping Lorry Load of Seasoned Barn Stored Hard Wood Logs £130 or Barn Stored Apple Logs £150. Prompt Reliable Delivery.

Tel:- 01233 732439 or 07793 028 859

Caring for all your gardens needs

Fencing, Sheds, Gates & more... UÊ Garden Fencing UÊ Stock Fencing UÊ Garden Gates UÊ Electric Fencing

Professional Garden & Grounds Maintenance Exterior & Interior Plant Displays Bespoke Garden Design & Build Schools & Sports Pitch Maintenance

UÊ Ironmongery UÊ Sundries & Tools UÊ Decking & Sheds UÊ Driveway Gates

01233 626 188

Call today for a free brochure Chart House Dencora Way. Ashford, Kent TN23 4FH

chartfencing.co.uk *on orders over £100

Please Mention The

Professionally trained & qualified staff 20+ yrs Experience - Call for a free quote Vernon Harris Bsc Hort

M: 07563 580 775 O: 0800 0112919 E: vern@bghorticulture.co.uk www.bghorticulture.co.uk

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cage and a softer one ( known as caecotrophes). These caecotrophes should be groomed off by your rabbit and eaten. This allows them to further breakdown the fibre and obtain the nutrients they require. It is important to check that these are not sticking to your rabbit as this is a sign of ill-health, dental or weight problems. It also makes them prone to fly strike. Your rabbit should be checked twice a day in the summer to check that this is not happening.

Care for Your Rabbit Rabbits can make wonderful pets.There are a number of things that you can do to make them happier and healthier. The first is vaccination. Myxomatosis is a devastating and often fatal disease. It is spread by biting insects, so even if your rabbit does not have contact with any wild rabbits it is at risk. There is now an effective vaccine against Myxomatosis and rabbit haemorrhagic disease, another fatal disease. This vaccine needs to be given once a year and can be given from 6 weeks of age. Diet is very important in rabbits. They require large amounts of fibre in their diet for effective digestion and good dental health. Rabbits should be fed plenty of fresh hay and grass. They should only be fed a small amount of rabbit food preferably as an all in one pellet rather than the muesli type foods. Rabbits also produce two types of droppings- hard pellets that you find in the

We also advise neutering, especially of female rabbits, as this makes them more manageable as well as preventing disease.

Caring vets for all your pets, horses and farm animals

Veterinary Centre ~ Faversham ~ Graveney Road, Faversham, ME13 8UR

01795 532180 New

Charing New

The Old Pumping Station, Pluckley Road, Charing TN27 08H

01233 714796 www.ladydanevets.com

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,Q 6RXWK (DVW .HQW WKHUH LV RQO\ RQH FRPSDQ\ WR WXUQ WR IRU \RXU GRXEOH JOD]LQJ DQG FRQVHUYDWRU\ UHTXLUHPHQWV :LQGRZV “A” Rated &RQVHUYDWRULHV 'RRUV 6RIÀ WV )DFLDV WEATHERMAN WINDOWS LIMITED :($7+(50$1 +20( ,03529(0(176 13 & 15 Bank Street, Ashford, Kent TN23 1DE %DQN 6WUHHW $VKIRUG .HQW 71 '(

7(/ ZZZ ZHDWKHUPDQKRPH FR XN Please Mention The

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Quality, Q li Made M d to Measure M Blinds Bli d at Affordable Prices FREE HOME DESIGN SERVICE ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Roller Blinds Roman Blinds Vertical Blinds Venetian Blinds Wooden Blinds Pleated Blinds Shutters Conservatory Blinds Commercial Blinds

■ 1 Year Product Guarantee ■ 3 Year Installation Guarantee

We Also Sell Curtains & Awnings For more information or to book an appointment

Call: 01233 226570 10

E: info@jlsblinds.co.uk W: www.jlsblinds.co.uk

JMINTERIORS Fine hand crafted kitchens and bespoke furniture

01580 291221

jmi-kitchens.co.uk Biddenden Showroom

the home

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Planning for Building Work Thinking of getting the builders in? Forward planning is vital. Our expert Katherine Sorrell has some handy advice Ready, Steady, Go?

It may sound obvious, but do you know exactly what work needs doing to your home? Think structure first, then decoration. Are the walls and roof safe and sound? Is the house warm enough in winter? How good is your boiler – have you got hot water whenever you need it? Do your windows stick; do your stairs creak, do your gutters drip or is your plaster crumbling away? Aim to get all the boring but necessary repairs and renovations out of the way – you might want to look for tradespeople

(from builders to carpenters, electricians to plumbers) in the pages of this magazine – before turning your attention to paint colours, floorings and soft furnishings. Then sort out your budget, agree a programme of work and get ready to make a few cups of tea.

Before Work Starts If you want your project to run as smoothly as possible, make sure you get the following issues sorted in advance: • Hours to be worked • Access to the house (especially if you won’t be living there), and security • Parking • Storage of tools and other equipment • Who is responsible for clearing

the working area in advance, and cleaning up afterwards • Use of a WC, and a sink to clean tools • Disposal of rubbish • Use of power points • Potential aggravation to neighbours (anything from loud building noise to playing a radio)

Rules and Regulations Before you start any building work – and especially if it’s a major change such as an extension or conversion – find out whether or not you need to obtain planning permission from your local authority. Go to planningportal.gov. uk/permission for lots of information. If you live in a listed building, green belt

DIY SAFETY Keep safety first and foremost if you’re doing any building work yourself. Never attempt any work that you are not competent to handle and, if it involves gas or electricity, call in a professional. If necessary, take the time to do a course, read a book or at least watch relevant internet videos. Use the right tool for the job, and ensure it’s in good working order before you start. Make sure you know how to use hire tools properly. Wear appropriate clothing, keep pets and children out of the way, tie long hair back and don’t smoke on the job. Heavy lifting to be done? Get help at the appropriate time. Be especially careful when using a ladder, don’t rush or cut corners, and store tools and equipment safely. Ventilate any areas where there are fumes or a great deal of dust and, last but by no means least, keep a first aid kit handy, just in case.

the home or a conservation area, you should be especially careful to get the necessary consents – it is a criminal offence to fail to apply for listed building consent when required, for example, so it is always worth checking with your local planning authority. You may also be surprised to find that Building Regulations cover most aspects of work to your home, from the energy efficiency of new windows to electrical installations. It is important that you comply with them, because if you don’t you could be asked to alter or remove the work. You would also have problems when you come to sell your property. Confirm with your builder that he is taking responsibility for

compliance – and get the necessary documentation to prove it once the work is finished. If you are doing the work yourself, talk to the building control department of your local authority. Main Image: The bespoke solutions in this kitchen extension were designed by Barbara Genda Bespoke Furniture, which conducts detailed site surveys and liaises with any other contractors on site for electrics, plumbing and decoration co-ordination if necessary. 020 7978 2349; barbara-genda.com. 2nd Image: Make an impression in your transformation with Lolly Pop paint, £28.12 for 2.5l traditional emulsion, Colours of London by Mylands. 020 8670 9161; coloursoflondon.co.uk.

GOING GREEN? Now is the time to decide on any environmentally friendly features that could save you money (and the planet) in the long run. Some eco measures, such as ground source heat pumps and wind turbines, are best suited for new builds or top-to-toe renovations, but others – solar panels and rainwater recycling, for example – are more easily achievable. And don’t overlook the straightforward options, including fitting double or secondary glazing, installing watersaving showerheads and insulating your loft. Even tiny moves such as connecting an energy monitor or switching to energy-saving light bulbs can make a big difference. For more information, go to www. energysavingtrust.org.uk.

The Antiques Barn Antiques and Collectables

Unique Gifts For Any Occasion

At Greenways Garden Centre ~ A28 Bethersden

Tel 01233 822358 www.theantiquesbarn.com Open Mon to Sat 10 - 5pm Sundays 10.30 - 4.30pm Please Mention The

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SANDSEAL FLOORING T h e Wo o d e n F l o o r i n g S p e c i a l i s t s Floor Sanding Staining & Varnishing Repairs Decking, Sanding & Sealing Call now for a competitive quote

T: 01233 733792 M: 07767 167731 w w w.sandseal-flooring.co.uk

Reach Out to 4,000 Homes & Businesses via Royal Mail Advertise Here for ÂŁ32 pm plus vat 10% Discount & A FREE Editorial for 6 month bookings Easy monthly payment options

Tel: 01233 720488 e: info@thevillagedirectory.co.uk

Images courtesy of Harlequin

Call Now For a Free Consultation

Open Tues - Fri 10am - 4pm Sat 10am - 1pm

the home

UPHOLSTERY SUITES SUITE IN-STOCK IN-STOCK

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Cake and Bake Coffee Cream Eclairs Just a few simple ingredients combine to make the most luscious tea time treat. If you prefer the classic chocolate éclair, simply melt 100g dark chocolate with a spoonful of golden syrup and 20g unsalted butter, cool until thickened then spread over the top of the éclairs. 16

Ingredients: • • • • • • •

50g butter 65g plain flour 2 medium eggs, beaten 300ml double cream 1 tsp vanilla extract 100g icing sugar 1 tbsp cold strong black coffee

TIP To dampen the baking sheet just sprinkle about ½ tsp of cold water over it – this will create extra steam in the hot oven which will help the choux pastry to rise.

Makes 10 Ready in 1 hour, plus cooling

1. Preheat the oven to 220°C, 200°C fan, Gas 7. Place the butter and 150ml water into pan and heat gently until the butter melts. Bring the mixture to a rolling boil then quickly tip in the flour and a large pinch of salt and beat with a wooden spoon until the mixture forms a smooth ball that comes away from the sides of the pan. Cool for 2-3 minutes. 2. Gradually add the beaten eggs, beating well after each addition, until the mixture is firm and glossy. You may not need to add all the beaten egg. 3. Spoon the mixture into a large disposable piping bag fitted with a large plain nozzle and pipe 10 x 9cm lengths of the pastry onto a large dampened baking sheet. 4. Bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes until the pastry is risen, golden and crisp. Pierce each éclair with the tip of a knife to allow the steam to escape and bake for a further 5 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and leave to cool completely. 5. Halve each cold éclair. Whip the cream and vanilla extract together in a bowl until softly peaking and drop spoonfuls into the bottom halves of the eclairs. 6. Sift the icing sugar into a bowl and beat in the coffee to make a smooth icing. Gently dip the top half of each éclair in the icing. Carefully sandwich the éclairs back together.

Happy Helpers Domestic Cleaning Services Reliable Dedicated Service • One Offs • Daily • Weekly • Monthly • Special Requirements Cleaning products supplied - Hourly rate £12 Also offer washing & ironing services (separately priced) CALL NOW TO BOOK! Louise 07881200869 FREE TRIAL FOR AN HOUR

Fruit Apples Blackberries Damsons Greengages Grapes Melons Nuts Plums Raspberries

Vegetables Artichoke Aubergine Beetroot Beans Broccoli Brussels sprouts Butternut Squash Cabbage Carrots Cauliflower Celery Chard Chillies Courgettes Cucumber Garlic Kale

Kohirabi Leeks Mangetout Marrow Onions Parsnips Peas Peppers Potatoes Radishes Rocket Salsify Shallots Spring Onions Swede Seetcorn Turnips

Salad Lettuce Purslaine Pak Choi Spinach Tomatoes Watercress

Fish Cod Crab Dover Sole Grey Mullet

Ashford Farmer’s Market First Sunday of every month from 10am to 2pm in the lower High Street. Challock Challock Memorial Hall, Blind Lane. 1st & 3rd Friday of each month 1pm to 4pm Contact Pauline Hickson 01233 740979 The Barn Shop Traditional Market Challock - 2nd & 4th Saturday of month 10am – 2pm Contact 01233 740237 Charing Farmer’s Market Charing Church Barn 9 -11.30 every Thursday morning. Contact 01233 740176

In Season: September

Local Markets

Haddock Halibut Herring John Dory Lemon Sole Lobster Mackerel Monkfish Plaice Sea Bass Scallops Turbot

Meat & Game Beef Duck Goose Grey Squirrel Grouse Guinea Fowl Hare Lamb Mutton Partridge Pork Rabbit Teal & Mallard Veal Venison Wood Pigeon

Egerton Every Friday 2 - 4.30pm Millennium Hall Rolvenden - 01580 240763 Every Thursday 10am -12 noon St Mary’s Church and the Village Hall Rye Farmers Market Every Wednesday at Strand Quay 10am - 1 pm (From Midday Oct - April) Rye Market Every Thursday at the Cattle Market Car Park. Early till around 3pm (depending on the weather)

Rye Country Market Formerly WI Market Rye Community Centre, Conduit Hill. Every Friday 10am -11.30am Tenterden Country Market Every Friday 9.30am -11.30am St Mildred’s Church Hall, Church road. Tenterden High Street Market Friday’s – 0830 – 1400 Wittersham Market Every Tuesday Village Hall 9am. - 11am Tel: 01797 270757 Wye First and third Saturday of every month on the Village Green in Wye. Tel: 07804 652156 www.wyefarmersmarket.co.uk

Country Flowers Country Florist at

essentiallyhops Beautiful flowers for all occasions 18

Weddings Bouquets

Birthdays Funerals Posies Handties Gifts free local delivery Fresh Hop Garlands 8-10 feet of natural traditional Kentish home decoration Harvest starts 22nd August for three weeks Buy fresh hops to hang immediately so that they dry in situ and last all year

tel: 01227 830666

www.essentiallyhops.co.uk

Open: Mon-Sat 9am-5pm, Sun 10.30am-4pm Chalkpit Farm Rural Shopping, Bekesbourne, Near Canterbury CT4 5EU email: shop@essentiallyhops.co.uk

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01233 733792 07767 167731

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It’s Dolly’s Birthday... To celebrate she is having a Pink Princess Tea Party, even Tinkaboo is all dressed up and ready to go. They are so excited! Colour in the picture below and ﬁnd six keys hidden within the picture frame.

iDoo-B-Doo Birthday Party Packages Tailor-made to suit your individual needs Pink Princess Tea parties Shabby Chic Fairy Parties Dolly Doodles ‘Make & Create’ Parties Princesses & Pirates Parties My Puppy Tinkaboo Parties Suitable for girls & boys aged 3-6 Internationally published children’s author, Ann Bryant is available to read at your party upon request. Please call for a quote: 01303 847373 OR e-mail ma for more info: info@idoobdoo.com

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L i v e Ja z z What’s On Se p t / O c t

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Thurday Sept 4th THE PETER KING QUARTET. Peter King world class Alto Saxophonist. with a world class rhythm section PETER KING alto sax STEVE MELLING piano GEOFF GASCOYNE double bass MARC FLETCHER drums This is World Class Tuesday Sept 9th THE BEST OF AUSSIE JAZZ. Australian Jazz Singer - often compared to Doris Day & Blossom Dearie. THE JANET SEIDEL TRIO Janet Seidel Piano & Vocals Chuck Morgan Guitar - David Seidel D/Bass “ AN EVENING TO REMEMBER“ Tuesday Oct 9th 8:30pm The Multi Award Winning THE LIANE CARROLL TRIO ROGER CAREY bass MARK FLETCHER drums TICKETS 01303 277175 Saturday Oct16th 8:30pm (with an International flavour) The Damon Brown International Quintet Tuesday Oct 23rd 8 30pm The Nigel Price Trio Pete Whittaker organ MATT HOME drums PLUS The Charismatic Greek Saxophonist VASILIS XENOPOULOS Saturday Oct 25th 7 30pm The Kent Youth Jazz Orchestra Kyjo Tuesday Oct 28th Special Event The Best Of British Jazz 8.30pm THE LENNIE NIEHAUS CONNECTION This is another “ First “ for The FJC, in fact a UK Premier ! ! ! These are the wonderful Original compositions & arrangements 0f standards by LENNIE NIEHAUS the former Stan Kenton alto player.The charts for this gig have been transcribed by MICK FOSTER - the UKs number one baritone sax man - - Mick has also organised & acquired this quintet of top class musicians to perform this music in the style of The Original ( 1950s ) LENNIE NIEHAUS QUINTET. Lennie is still going strong & lives in California & has spent a lot of his most recent life arranging & composing music for films- he has done most of the music for the films of his good friend Clint Eastwood. To compliment this wonderful music Mick has acquired the services of these fantastic top UK saxophonists & rhythm section. The Multi Award Winning ALAN BARNES will do the alto parts. The smooth sax of ROBERT FOWLER on tenor & none better than MICK FOSTER the baritone. Just keeping the pulse TOM FARMER double bass The driving force of one of the UKs best TRISTON MAILLOT drums This is Quality with a capital Q & will be equal or better than the original quintet

Saturday 13th September - Friends of Kent Churches sponsored Ride and Stride. between the hours of 10am and 6pm. The Church of the Good Shepherd, Hamstreet will be open for refreshments and free walking/cycling sheets will be available here as well as St Mary’s (Orlestone) and St Augustine’s (Snave).

Saturday 13th September 10.30am to 4pm National Heritage Open Day at The Heritage Centre at Smarden Charter Hall with displays of archives and vintage photographs, free conducted tours of the historic village, traditional craft stalls, genealogical supplies, history book stall, raffle, tombola, refreshments. Lots for the children to do! Bring the family!

Wednesday 17th September The Weald of Kent Computer Club will meet on in Biddenden New Village Hall at 7.30 pm. This evening we have a talk by members of the Kent Association for the Blind. Annual membership is £10 plus £2 per meeting. Nonmembers are welcome (£3, but first visit is free)Full details: http://www.wealdofkentcomputerclub.co.uk/ Enquiries: secretarywkcc@yahoo.co.uk

Friday 19th September ..A WW1 Centenary Concert commencing at 7.30pm in the Assembly Rooms at Tenterden Town Hall. Music for all tastes arranged by The Royal British Legion and played by the Band of the Royal Engineers (Chatham) featuring a programme including hits from stage and screen as well as favourites from both World Wars. Tickets at £8 each are on sale now from Gateway Tenterden,the Day Centre Church Road,the Day Centre Shop 1a Eastgate and St.Michael’s Post Office and Village Stores .A licenced bar will be available in the interval . Proceeds will be shared between The Day Centre and The Royal British Legion poppy appeal .Make a date now and enjoy a super evening with music played by 30 musicians supporting two excellent causes.

Friday 26th September. MacMillan Coffee morning 9:30am - 12pm. donation of cake would be a BIG help. (on disposable plates please) A Memory tree will be there, along with how many 100’s & 1000’s on the cake, and which coffee cup has the double shot in it. Hope to see you there. for any more details call Karen on 07795075910

include tea/coffee and cake or a savoury bite. All profits to the Village Hall fund. This is the first of what we hope will become an annual event. For further information phone Judy on 01233 840280 or Sue on 01233 840544.

Saturday and Sunday 27th and 28th September in Pluckley Village Hall, Quilt and Craft Show from 10.30am to 5.00pm each day to include a display of quilts and crafts and trade stalls selling all things patchwork, quilting and sewing. Entrance £4.00 to include tea/coffee and cake or a savoury bite. All profits to the Village Hall fund. This is the first of what we hope will become an annual event. For further information phone Judy on 01233 840280 or Sue on 01233 840544.

Thursday 2nd to Sunday 5th October - Wyatts Cat at Tenterden Folk Festival 2014 The English barn dance to be held in the Tenterden Club in the evening of Friday 3rd October 2014 will feature local ceilidh band Wyatts Catt. The dance will again take place in the Moulton Hall and Evans Bar of the Tenterden Club in Church Road, just off the High Street, on the Friday evening from 7.30 p.m. Doors open at 7.00 p.m. The Club will be providing a real ale bar. Tickets are £8.00 for adults or £5.00 for under sixteens and are available by sending a cheque to Tenterden Folk Festival or can be purchased

by credit cards online at www.musicglue.com/ tenterdenfolkfestival/tickets/

Saturday 4th October - Antiques,Collectables and Vintage Fayre is being held 10.00am-4.00pm in Charing Church Barn.Refreshments available all day.To book a table (£15) please contact Anita 01233 714068 or Ann 01233 713035. There will also be A Scarecrow Competition taking place on 4th and 5th October.The Scarecrows will be displayed along the path leading to the Church Barn.All Scarecrows need to be delivered to Palace Farm in The Market Place by lunchtime on Friday 3rd October.1st,2nd and 3rd prizes will be awarded in The Church Barn at 12.30pm on Saturday 4th October. Entry forms(£2 to enter)available from Palace Farm,Gm&M Johns butchers in The High Street or phone Kevin 07889 289710. All proceeds for both events to Charing Christmas Lights.

Saturday 11th October Weald of Kent Beekeepers Annual Honey Show and Craft Fair at Smarden Charter Hall from 10.30am to 4.30pm. Entrance £1 for adults and children go free. Refreshments, honey for sale, beekeeping demonstrations and microscopy .Craft fair stalls include ceramic, jewellery, barge art, knitting kits and candles to name a few. Come and start your Christmas shopping early.

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CLUBS & SOCIETIES

The Biddenden Horticultural Society Annual membership £5. New members welcome. Contact Irene Orsborne on 01580 291777 or Lesley Lidgett on 01580 291931. Little Chart Bridge Club Friendly duplicate bridge every Tuesday afternoon at Little Chart Village Hall. For more information please contact Carmen Gunther on 01233 840 395. Kennington Badminton Club, play at the Norton Knatchbull School on a Wed evening from 7.30 p.m.-10.00 p.m. Contact Mark Feeney on 01233 663030 or Shirley Mountford on 01233 610134. Biddenden Squash Club 01580 291130 Gordon Jones Playing Field, Biddenden. Friendly club with 2 courts and a bar. email: info@biddendensquash. co.uk www.biddendensquash.co.uk Smarden Heritage Centre - Smarden Charter Hall, Smarden. Open every Friday 9:30am to 1:30pm visit: www.smardenheritagecentre. synthasite.com Charing Scottish Dancing Club Friday evenings, Charing Parish Hall 7.30pm – 9.30pm An enjoyable evening for anyone who might like to learn Scottish Dancing (not Highland Dancing!) We are a small very friendly group, all of whom had little or no experience before coming to the class but are now very enthusiastic, and they would welcome others who might like to learn. There is no charge for the first trial evening (afterwards £3.00 per person and a break for coffee, biscuits and a natter) Ring Evelyn or John Voller on 01233 713758 to discuss it more fully with no compulsion to attend. Biddenden Junior Football Club - Always looking for new players 7 -18, for fun and enjoyable football. Contact Steve on 07958 447948. Smarden Short Mat Bowls Club We welcome new novice or experienced bowlers of all ages. We meet every Thurs. morning at 9.45am and the first Tues. of month at 7.15pm, in the Charter Hall Smarden. Contact Malcolm 01233 770572. Egerton Over 60’s Club If you enjoy stimulating speakers, enjoyable outings and eating out, then become a member of this Club.You don’t have to be over 60, we’ll welcome you what ever your age. We meet in the lovely Egerton Millennium

Hall on the 2nd Monday of each month at 2pm to enjoy a speaker, short Club business followed by sandwiches, savouries ,homemade cakes all washed down with a few cuppas.Example of speakers for 2014--High Sheriff of Kent, Ellen Terry and Smallhythe Place,Floral Clocks, Egerton Wartime Airfield and more. Outings include-a trip on the Bluebell railway, Belmont House, cruise on the Kentish Lady, Mill Museum and a Mystery Tour.. Contact David on 756544,Graham on 756260 or Sheila on 756294. You will be made most welcome--try us.! The Roots Project Conservation Volunteers Contact: Carrie Eeles (Activities Officer) Tel: 07920404546 Email: info@ therootsproject.co.uk www. therootsprojectconservationvolunteers.org.uk What we do: Regular practical conservation tasks and woodland craft workshops based in Longbeech Wood, Charing Pilates Classes. Westwell Village Hall. Thursdays 915am. £36 per 6 week block. Contact Victoria 07543543373/vsaker@hotmail.co.uk PILATES. Smarden Tuesdays 1pm, Wednesdays 6pm. Headcorn Mondays 6pm. Mixed ability classes. Body Control Qualified Instructor. Contact Liz 07958 708874 or email: lizsims.pilates@gmail. com Headcorn Modern Sequence Dance Club, meet every Monday 7.30 pm to 10.00 pm in the Andred Hall in Headcorn Village Hall. If you enjoy Ballroom dancing, bring your partner or friend along and learn more. We are a friendly little club, nice music- social evening- tea and biscuits - all for £3.00 per person. Call Rita on 01580 852289. Headcorn Flea & Collectors Market held at Headcorn Methodist Church Hall. 9th of the month. 9.30am to 2.30pm Free Entry 01622890735 Clandestine Cake Club is a great way to meet new people, catch up with friends and the perfect excuse to eat cake! We meet approximately every six weeks with a different theme for each meeting to make things even more interesting! It’s a social thing - not a cake competition, so everyone from complete novices to professional bakers are welcome. The idea is to share your cake and have some fun! For more information, contact Zarina Hawkins on zjbm1965@gmail.com

Creative Journaling Get to Know Yourself Better Please come along on the 13th of September between 10:30am and 4pm and help us to celebrate Smarden's past Smarden Local History Society is marking National Heritage Day on Saturday September 13th with an exhibition at the Charter Hall to celebrate the history of our village and to highlight the presentday activities of our community’s organisations, clubs and societies

What's on:

Take one of our fre free ee tours and explore Smarden Village's fascinating past. p Buy all the Genealogical supplies you need from CAB Search and meet others interested retracing their roots. Explore the archives of the History Society 's Heritage Centre as well as those of several village organisations as they will have stallsIncluding: Smarden Parish Council Smarden Primary School The Friends of Smarden Church The Sports and Leisure Association The Gardener’s Society The British Legion The Charter Hall Browse traditional crafts stalls Eat yummy homemade cakes and Cream Teas along with other refreshments , wine, Hot Dogs and snacks.

Friends of St Mary’s Lenham presents

The Annual

Village Barn Dance Dancing to

‘Whistling

Skirmish’

In the

Tithe Barn, Lenham Saturday 27 September Dancing starts @ 7.30pm

Tickets: £8.00 per person (children under 16yrs £4.00) Bring your own drinks and nibbles or order food from Chequers Fish Bar, Lenham Square Tickets can be purchased from either: Len Valley Newsagent, High St, Lenham St Mary’s Church’s coffee morning 10.00am every Saturday Or, Contact Lyn Fuller on 01622 851538

When people think about a journal or diary, they think of a book of words. But a ‘creative journal’ is so much more and the process of creating one allows us to explore our thoughts and feelings in a relaxed way. Creative expression is actually known to be good for us, it can decrease anxiety, raise serotonin levels and give us a way in to our imagination. It’s easy to do and doesn’t require any artistic skills. Sometimes people can lose sight of what they ‘really’ feel, think or want, but understanding this is key to gaining a deeper insight into our true feelings. Yvonne Fernando, NLP Master Practitioner & Life Coach, will be running a Creative Journaling workshop, at The Bakehouse Biddenden on 1 October 2014, 6.30 - 9.30pm, £60 per person. Participants will learn how to express themselves through creative journaling and creative visualisation. Different mediums are used and real insights are gained through observing the things people are drawn to. This special workshop will be held in the relaxed and cosy cafe at The Bakehouse, Biddenden, with more than a hint of bohemia for an expressive mood. And to ensure everyone leaves feeling positive, relaxed and inspired, a short relaxation session is also included. More workshops from Yvonne, include: What will you do with your one, wild, precious life? Hello 2015 and a 10 week programme of Relaxation, Mindfulness & Meditation. For further information please visit:www. yvonnefernandonlp.co.uk or call: 01233 878474

1ST CALL BOU UN BOUNCY CASTLES Bouncy Castles for all Ages Free delivery & collection Suitable for Indoor & Outdoor Special rates for weekends Schools & Event Days

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health & beauty

Beauty Explained: The Science Behind Skin Care

How many times have you been completely baffled by some scientific sounding jargon when you’ve gone to buy a new antiageing cream? Unless you were top of the class in chemistry, you probably don’t know your AHAs from your Ceramides. So that’s why we’ve compiled our guide to the most common ingredients you’ll come across today. Once you’ve read our skincare glossary you’ll not only understand the terminology, but you’ll be able to find the best cream for your skin’s needs as well. Antioxidants serve to protect skin from those damaging free radicals to which our skin is exposed on a day-to-day basis. Free radicals - or oxidants - are unstable molecules which are caused by environmental factors like smoke, pollution and UV rays. Free radicals are responsible for causing those annoying visible signs of ageing like lines and wrinkles. Vitamin E, Vitamin C and green tea are some of the most common antioxidants.

Vitamin E has great moisturising properties and makes skin soft and smooth, whereas Vitamin C helps to diminish the look of brown age spots and hyper pigmentation, green tea is a strong antioxidant and a staple ingredient in most anti-ageing products. Hyaluronic acid, when applied topically, gives the skin a fresh, smooth look and helps it to maintain moisture - which is vital for youthful looking skin. It’s a naturally occurring carbohydrate in the body, but levels diminish with age, especially after you reach 40. Ceramides help in the fight for youthful looking skin thanks to their ability to prevent water loss and promote skin-cell renewal. They’re commonly used in moisturisers as they effectively re-hydrate dry skin. Alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) are naturally occurring acids, commonly found in citrus fruits (citric acid), dairy products (lactic acid) and sugar (glycolic acid). They work to aid the skin’s natural exfoliation process by loosening dead surface cells. When applied in the form of cream to your face, AHAs reduce fine lines and unclog pores. Glycolics work similarly to AHAs - they speed up the process the skin goes through to shed dead outer cells, which in turn reveals new, smoother skin cells Collagen is found naturally in the skin, the protein maintains the skin’s elasticity and keeps it looking plump. Over the years though, the body’s production of collagen drops dramatically. Used in many anti-ageing creams, collegan is found to be

By Helen Taylor

a very effective water-binding ingredient. Retinoids are derived from Vitamin A. They have been found to help to renew the skin and stimulate collagen production, minimise the appearance of wrinkles and bolster the skin’s thickness and elasticity; which makes them a popular ingredient in anti-ageing creams. Growth factors are used to help to build collagen and diminish lines and wrinkles, whilst softening the skin. Their natural function in the body is to control cell growth in different areas. Soy isoflavones are a type of plant hormone thought to be useful in treating dark spots by blocking the pathway of melanin. They can aid in preventing collagen loss in postmenopausal women as they have an effect on skin that is similar to oestrogen. Copper makes an appearance in some anti-ageing products as it is thought to promote the production of collagen and elastin - two of the most important factors in younger looking skin. Hydroquinone is useful in suppressing pigment producing enzymes in the skin, thus fighting age spots. It’s therefore, often recommended by experts to lighten those dark spots on the skin.

health & beauty Laser Treatment for the Fungal Nail Infection and Warts A safe, effective treatment for toes and feet including toenail fungus and warts. The treatment involves painlessly passing the laser beam over the infected nails. Treatment sessions will take approximately 15 minutes. GenesisPlus is very safe. No side effects or adverse reactions have been reported. Most patients describe the procedure as being painless with a small hot pinch at the end.

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health & Lifestyle

Your Guide to Heart Health By Alison Runham www.alison.runham.co.uk The British Heart Foundation estimates that around 82,000 people in England suffer a heart attack annually; one in three die before reaching hospital and around half of the survivors are under 75. So it’s vital we look after our hearts – and that we can recognise the symptoms of a heart attack.

Keeping Your Heart Healthy Diet Keep it balanced. Avoid high sugar and high fat foods, and eat plenty of fruit, vegetables and several sources of protein (meat, eggs, dairy products, fish, legumes and pulses). Choose wholegrain carbohydrates (pasta, bread, rice). Alcohol Alcohol can damage heart muscle and cause abnormal rhythms. Stick to the recommended maximum safe limits: men, 3-4 units per day (21 per week); women 2 – 3 per day (14 per week). 1 unit = 1 small bottle of (4%) alcopop; half a pint of beer/lager/cider (4%); a single measure of spirits (40%). 2 units = 1 standard 175ml glass of wine/champagne (12%); 1 pint 4% beer/lager/cider; a double measure of spirits. Smoking Smokers are twice as likely to have heart attacks, so quit or at least cut down. Ask your doctor for advice or order The British Heart Foundation’s guide, ‘Time to Quit’, for free at http://bit.ly/1ltpgIc. Exercise

Ideally we should do 150 minutes of exercise weekly that raises our heart rate keeping our cardiovascular system healthy. If you don’t exercise, start small and find an exercise you enjoy. Symptoms Of Heart Attacks Heart attacks don’t always present with sudden intense chest pain. Sometimes symptoms can be mild and build gradually, particularly in diabetics, or come and go. Although chest pain is the most common symptom, more than a third of sufferers don’t experience it. • Chest pain (often a squeezing sensation or fullness, which may linger or come and go) • Dizziness or light-headedness • Sweating (normally a cold sweat) • Shortness of breath • Nausea or vomiting • Pain elsewhere (usually jaw, neck, back, left arm or abdomen) • Heartburn • Coughing or wheezing • Severe fatigue • Overwhelming anxiety Heart Attack Symptoms In Women Women may experience all these symptoms or none, but they’re more likely to experience the less common symptoms: pain in other areas (particularly the upper back), shortness of breath, sweating, nausea or vomiting, dizziness and unusual tiredness (sometimes for days). Without chest pain, they may not realise they’re having a heart attack.

What To Do When A Heart Attack Occurs Don’t panic, but do act swiftly. If in doubt, always call 999. If you’re an angina sufferer, the NHS recommend taking your glyceryl trinitrate (‘GTN’) tablets or spray and repeating the dose 5 minutes later, then 5 minutes later again, if there’s no improvement. Phone 999 immediately if the pain doesn’t improve. The NHS recommends that people who suspect they’re having a heart attack should chew and swallow one aspirin (300mg) tablet, providing they’re not aspirin-allergic, to thin the blood and maintain blood supply to the heart. If you’re the patient: Move as little as necessary and call an ambulance. Take an aspirin if it’s nearby – but don’t exert yourself to reach it. If you’re attending the patient: Phone the ambulance immediately. If the patient isn’t aspirin-allergic, give them an aspirin – providing it’s nearby. Keeping your heart healthy is one of the most important things you can do – but ensuring you can recognise and deal with a heart attack is vital too.

Free Advice From Julian “The Osteopath” If you have a history of recurrent body pain your body may be “stuck in a moment” and you might find this helpful:Does the pain have a recurrent theme? ie same time of the year, digging in the spring, hedge trimming in the autumn? The same movement brings it on all the time?

health & Lifestyle

How Healthy Are You?

Whatever the pattern it’s usually your body trying to get your attention on its pursuit of health and freedom of movement. A “moment” usually has a traumatic onset which the body is unable to process and deal with and this “stuck in a moment” is the bodies survival mechanism, store the problem survive and come back to deal with it later. Each time you have a recurrent pain, the body is taking the opportunity to talk to you, to remind you there are unsolved issues to deal with which it could not overcome at the time and would love to be free of and so be able to move forward in life with all you dream of doing. So take heart your body is not letting you down, its talking to you in a coherent way which when listened to and released properly, frees you from the “moment” and the recurrent pain suffered. I hope this is helpful and if you would like any further information please contact me on 07585176508 warmest regards Julian

IN PAIN? Help is at hand Talk to osteopath Julian Diprose with over 20 years experience for free advice

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Call: 01233 739113

www.sandgateclinic.co.uk Please Mention The

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Finance Boost Your Income: How to Make Money from Crafting By Ann Haldon www.cornerstonewebcontent.com

The growth in popularity of knitting, sewing and jewellery-making has provided skilled crafters with a golden opportunity to supplement their income. Not only is it possible to make good money from a creative hobby such as this, people young and old are starting successful businesses doing what they love. Many people make gifts for family and friends, but don’t always realise the potential to earn money from their hobby. Diverse influences including media interest, the economic collapse, and TV programmes such as The Great British Sewing Bee have all been instrumental in bringing about the revival of crafts once regarded as old-fashioned. So if you want to use your creativity to make some money, what are the best ways to sell, and how easy is it to get started?

Selling at craft fairs Craft fairs are considered the ‘traditional’ route to selling handcrafted items. They remain a good option if you can spare several days a month to focus on selling, in addition to the time needed to produce your items. Craft fairs and vintage markets are held regularly throughout the year, but because they are so popular, it is advisable to book well in advance. Some venues provide tables, equipment and electrical sockets, but in most cases you’ll have to provide your own table and

lighting. High quality spotlighting is a good investment for sellers with a long-term plan, and can encourage sales if the venue is dimly lit.

Selling online Selling online involves a little more planning and considerably more effort to be successful. In its favour it has the advantage of being flexible, and may fit more easily into your life. Not only will you need to produce items to sell, you’ll also need to develop your ‘shop,’ take and upload photos of each item, describe them well, estimate postage and packing charges, and continually market the business. If this is what you envisioned, there’s probably no better way to make money from crafting. Two websites set up to help you succeed in this respect are Folksy and Etsy, both being designed specifically for independent craftspeople and artisans. Folksy With more than 15,000 sellers on Folksy, this has become a strong community for crafters and buyers alike. A UK-based site that has been around since 2007, Folksy provides a great opportunity to create your own brand without it costing a fortune, get your creations in front of a global audience, and build a bona-fide craft business. • Basic account - 15p + VAT per item

- Items listed for 120 days - 6% + VAT commission • Folksy Plus - Annual charge of £45, inclusive of VAT - No individual listing fees - 6% + VAT commission Etsy If you start selling on Etsy you’ll be joining an established community of over 8 million members and 800,000 online shops. Launched in 2005, Etsy is based in America but also has a loyal following in the UK. It’s possible to link your Etsy account to a Facebook business page for additional exposure in this country. • Seller account - no membership fees - $0.20 to list an item for 4 months - 3.5% commission Lovingly handcrafted items of a high quality have more personality than mass-produced goods, and their unique nature makes them appealing to discerning buyers. Although not a get-rich-quick scheme, making items to sell has the potential to bring in some valuable extra income and provide muchneeded job satisfaction.

Legal & Financial

Pengelly & Rylands FAMILY SOLICITORS For friendly advice in times of need

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Puzzle Time

WORDWHEEL

Sudoku

Using only the letters in the Wordwheel, you have ten minutes to find as many words as possible, none of which may be plurals, foreign words or proper nouns. Each word must be of three letters or more, all must contain the central letter and letters can only be used once in every word. There is at least one word that uses all of the letters in the wheel.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3 x 3 box contains the digits 1 through 9, with no repetition! That’s all there is to it, you solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic there’s no maths involved and no adding up. It’s fun. It’s challenging. It’s addictive!

TARGET Excellent: 24 or more words Good: 19 words Fair: 16 words

Quick Crossword Across 1. In addition (4) 3. Greets (8) 9. Painful condition (7) 10. Childminder (5) 11. Developments (12) 14. Appropriate (3) 16. Braid hair (5) 17. Winter sport (3) 18. Purposefully (12) 21. Time-piece (5) 22. Distinctive (7) 23. Moving very fast (8) 24. Questions (4) Down 1. From the United States (8) 2. Tantrum (5) 4. Used for seeing (3) 5. Condensed (12) 6. Parts of an hour (7) 7. Speaks (4) 8. Talented (12) 12. Delete (5) 13. Two wheeled vehicles (8)

8 9

12 13

20 21

15. 19.

Rigid support frame (7) Departs (5)

20. 22.

In debt (4) Male child (3)

Answers published in next edition.

GP Electrical & Plastering 07803 417098 www.gpelectricalandplastering.co.uk Friendly, Professional Service - Free Estimates, Fully Insured Plastering Artex Covering Walls and Ceilings Renovations & more...

Electrical Work Consumer Unit Changes Full Rewires Outhouses / Exterior & more...

On a hot slate roof, slathered in enough suncream to bathe an elephant, is not where I was expecting to draft out our first GP Electrical and Plastering editorial! But then I doubt an elephant would ever expect to be bathed in suncream. You see the thing is we live in the country and when you live in the country things go wrong... frequently! Hence why Gareth and I currently find ourselves sporting almost matching outfits drilling a new gulley and trying to avoid standing on the higgledy piggledy shards of slate. When the family first moved here the house was half the size and wooden. Since then little bits and pieces keep being added on and old problems caused by the original shoddy workmanship have to be fixed. Only a few months ago I was happily showering, enjoying the warmth and cleanliness when BOOM! The ceiling caved in and I was covered in a cold gush of dirty, smelly water. Aside from the amusingly cow shaped hole the collapse left, it also left Gareth and I (as overseer) with a week long booking from home sweet home to fix the roof. Several bickers between Gareth, his father and I later, we eventually realised we were all making pretty much the same suggestion. Gareth put up some scaffold, collected his tools and materials so here we are now, going browner than a tea-cake and enjoying the view for the next week. What better way could one spend a day? Unfortunately fixing problems isn’t always this fun, but being both a perfectionist and a qualified electrician / plasterer, Gareth is always the one to do them as mummy Davidson & daddy Davidson know that he is cheaper and a lot more stringent than the majority of tradesmen. His years of experience and study always come in handy when his parents kennels need new heaters, his

accident prone girlfriend (that’s me) sprays water too close to the lizards plug sockets or 1 of the 5 (yes 5) Labradors fancies a nibble on something a bit more exotic and decides to dine on a bit of wall. Or should I say an entire wall. 3 times. In the same month. I’m not sure if at the time in question B&Q had released a new flavour of plaster or simply if Colin was going through a doggy mid life crisis, but for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but himself one evening about 3 years ago a small adolescent black dog stuck his small adolescent pink tongue out and took a massive lick of the wall behind his bed. And so it began. A lick turned to a nibble, which turned to a gnaw which turned to a bite. An unkown while later (because nobody was actually inside at the time) first a nose, then some whiskers, then a full fluffy black Colin head poked itself through the now considerably large hole and took a rather limited sniff round the lounge. Gareth came swiftly to the rescue however, or as swiftly as he could considering he wasn’t home for another 2 hours. Cutting a neat square round the damage, attaching some new plasterboard and plastering it over he surveyed his work and marvelled that no-one would be able to tell anything had ever happened. A few days later upon discovering that his new peep hole had been rudely removed, Colin set about making another one. However; Gareth patiently repeated his previous work, smoothing the final layer of plaster to a silkiness that would leave even the smoothest of babys bottoms in awe. Colin was not one to be beaten though and after a tactical week and a half of biding his time, armed with a lust for powdery flakes in his mouth he set about ruining Gareths work yet again. Gareth Davidson has never been one to give up no matter how frustrating a job may be. True to form, seeing it almost as a challenge he yet again mended the wall, this time taking almost half the wall out and rebuilding, plastering and painting. Upon his suggestion, the a cabinet was put against the wall so the dogs beds weren’t right up against it. The family waited with baited breath and lo and behold no more holes appeared. The moral of the story? A patient, high performing and intelligent electrician / plasterer will always win against a hungry Labrador. Gareth can help with all your electrical and plastering requirements just call 07803 417098

Funny Girls Barbara Streisand may have been the ‘Funny Girl’ of the silver screen, but some of these ladies have been making audiences laugh their Bridget Jones-style big pants off for years. We’ve put together a selection of books by funny women, for funny women, or just women in general…or men who want to talk about problems with hair in unwanted places, and how to walk in high heels.

Bonkers: My Life in Laughs Jennifer Saunders We couldn’t talk about Dawn French and then not include Jennifer Saunders’ memoir, Bonkers. A self-confessed procrastinator, Saunders seems to be under the impression it’s a bit of a miracle she’s achieved anything. There’s never been a life plan she says, more a sort of stumbling from one thing to the next, but it seems to be working for her. The book follows her haphazard working life alongside fellow ‘bluffer’ French and is full of their adventures together as well as those had whilst working on her own series such as Absolutely Fabulous. Then of course, there is her battle with cancer; again, not something she had planned for. She doesn’t shy away from talking about the tough times and it seems that laughter really could be the best medicine. How to be a Woman - Caitlin Moran Moran’s definitive guide to being female will tell every Miss, Mrs and Ms everything we’re supposed to be doing as we totter through life in toe-crushing heels , as well as raising all the questions we’re not supposed to ask, such as ‘do we really need to wax?’ and ‘should a sense of broodiness be in-built?’ It’s a laugh out loud book that will make you feel better about your old lady chin whiskers and your inability to get on a trampoline post kids. Billed as being ‘part memoir, part rant’ this is a laughout-loud-funny book that will reassure the ‘fairer sex’ and educate the male population, provided the blokes can get past the chapters on puberty.

Bossypants - Tina Fey Hollywood star Tina Fey has a unique ability to make us feel like she could be our best friend. In fact, she wouldn’t look out of place sat at your kitchen table, looking frazzled, glass of white wine in hand, telling you about her adventures into planning her daughter’s Peter Pan-themed birthday party. Bossypants follows Tina’s rise to fame from jobbing stand-up comic, to writing sketches for Saturday Night Live. The woman whose Sarah Palin impersonation is more well- known than, well, Sarah Palin is funny, often painfully candid and incredibly selfdeprecating, and you can’t help but love her for that. She gives the impression of being a woman on the edge; juggling an amazing career with her family life, and dropping a few balls along the way. Dear Fatty - Dawn French National treasure Dawn French has had an amazing career as a funny girl and this memoir is written as a series of letters to people who have influenced her life. Dear Fatty is a fantastic blend of honesty, poignancy and controversy, just like the comedy actress herself. As one half of the nation’s best-loved female comedy duo, French and Saunders, she and her partner in crime redefined the roles of women in entertainment. With their sideways look at life that started with performances in Comic Strip they’ve sent up pretty much everyone in their hugely successful TV series. French tackles everything, from her career to her father’s death, and not forgetting a nation’s obsession with her size. A

brilliant read. I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me - Joan Rivers The queen of controversy and the heeled assassin of the red carpet, no one is safe from the acidtongued Joan Rivers, including it seems, herself. The New York Times bestseller is a no holds barred rant about everything that gets on Joan’s nerves; nothing is sacred, especially not ugly children. Rivers has made a career out of making fun of people and this is a pretty hilarious rant. You might want to read it in small doses though, or face seeing the world through very jaded glasses That’s Another Story: The Autobiography - Julie Walters Beloved British star of both stage and screen, Julie Walters is as well remembered for belting out Abba’s classics as she is for her turn as Mrs Overall in Acorn Antiques. In her autobiography she chronicles her Irish Catholic upbringing in 1950s Birmingham, to her convent school, and her short-lived career as a nurse, before she turned to acting. West End performances, Oscar nominations and those Harry Potter films then followed over the next few decades. The book reads just as you would expect it would be like to have a chat and a cuppa with Walters: open, friendly, entertaining and moving.

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MJW Autos Ltd Affordable quality body repairs www.mjwautos.co.uk zQuality Body Repairs, collision damage, dents and scratches zCity & Guilds Craftsman zFriendly, Professional, Valued Service zQuality Workmanship zInsurance Work, Free Estimates, Local drop off and pick up zCustomers benefit from 10% on car & van hire zMOT Failure Repairs zNo VAT on Labour zTestimonials & portfolio of repairs zQuality paint for Car Spraying Unit 1 A.S.H Business Centre Cobbs Wood Ind Estate Ashford Kent TN23 1EJ

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