COLUMNIST – KATHY CLUGSTON

Kathy Clugston

Kathy Clugston is a freelance radio presenter. She chairs the long-running BBC Radio 4 programme ‘Gardeners’ Question Time’ and presents the weekly entertainment show ‘The Ticket’ on BBC Radio Ulster.

NOT-SO-TOTAL RECALL

This month, Kathy Clugston reflects on how the brain can play tricks with your memory.

I don’t know if it’s a scientific fact that the older you get the further back you can remember - the distant past coming into focus while recent events take on a distinctly hazy hue - but anecdotal evidence would suggest this is the case. Older people I know can remember the sting of a childhood rebuke or the taste of a seaside holiday treat with pin-sharp clarity, while they have no idea what they watched on TV last night or who they were talking to on the phone a mere five minutes ago. Now that I have reached un certain age I too notice my memory playing tricks on me, and it was never that great in the first place. Like many of you no doubt I often forget the names of people I know and can no longer bring to mind the names of those I don’t - that actor from that thing with yer woman, you know… oh, I can see his face! Slim are the chances of me walking into a room and heading straight for the thing I am looking for, or remembering how many MLAs there are, or what the capital of Mozambique is, no matter how many times I look them up. (I’ll save you the trouble: 90 and Maputo.)

A certain amount of this I ascribe to meeting lots of new people every week in the course of my work. I think of my brain as a folder on my computer; it can only hold so much data before it has to start deleting files which, while helpful for social intercourse, are not necessary for survival. However, I do scare myself sometimes. Not long ago in Portrush a woman came hurtling over to me. “Kathy! Halloooo!! How are you?” I had no inkling who this woman was, and we were outside so she wasn’t even wearing a mask. In these instances, there is about a second where you might be able to say “I’m so sorry, I just can’t place you…” or a well-trained friend might immediately step forward proffering a hand and bellowing “Hello, I’m Frank. And you are?” But I was alone, and felt that second whizz by. I arranged my face into a delighted smile and had a short, unsatisfactory conversation with this woman, berating myself all the while for not fessing up and finding out who on earth she was.

On the other hand, I think we have to help each other out a bit here. I rarely go unrecognised, mask or no mask, by virtue of being six feet tall and having a white streak in the front of my hair (all natural, before you ask), but if I meet someone I don’t know that well, I try to mention my name and how they might know me. I love it when people do this to me, especially if they’ve lost/gained/ changed weight/hair/glasses sense since the one time I met them three years ago at a party after a few babychams. You can shriek “Well of COURSE it’s you, Mike!” as if you knew all along, and everyone’s a winner.

Mind you, I’m not sure I want my distant memory restored. Recently, out of the blue, I suddenly remembered a lad at primary school being taunted and having his glasses knocked off by some other boys. I’ve not so much as thought about this lad for 40-odd years, but his name and face, contorted with trying not to cry, leapt into my mind unbidden, swiftly followed by the realisation that to have this memory I must have witnessed the event. Did I intervene? Pick up his glasses? Berate the bullies? I couldn’t remember. My body went cold with the realisation that I had more than likely just stood there and watched. The shame of it made me cry, like an eejit, in the middle of Ormeau Park. I’ve searched online and there are a number of people with his name. None of the photos look like the boy I remember though. Who knows what tricks the memory plays? I hope that wherever and whoever he is now, he’s doing OK.

Illustration by Caolan Teague.

THIS MONTH’S OBSESSIONS:

Women Vs Hollywood – Helen O’Hara’s book about the history of women in the film industry. Helen is our film reviewer on The Ticket but I’m not doing her any favours, the book and the accompanying podcast are terrific. Pickled red onion - My friend Carmel served this with some curry and it was the highlight of the meal. It’s really simple, just some slices of red onion left to marinade for 30 - 60 minutes in lemon or lime juice. Herbal tea cocktails - Use up your less favoured herbal teas by double-bagging them with others. I’m currently having ‘Night time’ and ‘Detox’ together - yes, in one cup! It’s a revelation.

Michelle Bryans, Thomas Ferris, Jacqueline O’Hagan and June Jordan.

URBAN MARKET AT CS LEWIS SQUARE

Belfast’s CS Lewis Square welcomed back its popular Urban Market showcasing the best in local food and crafts. The Square also hosted Simple Cypher and their show ‘Roll Up, Roll Up’ as part of Belfast International Arts Festival.

Grant Goldie, Kasper Segner and Tina Segner.

. Uel and Noreen Bailie with

Ted the dog. Aaron and Emma Riddle with kids Judah and Levi.

. Susie Black with Matthew, Ruby and Sarah.

Jenny McClaughlin, Emma Hutchinson and Emily Cameron and children Isiah, Sienna and James from True North Life outdoor accessories designed locally and made sustainably. Sheena Bleakney from ‘Truffl eupagus’. Ebony with Connor Kerr from Another World Belfast.

zzzz Ebony and Alanna Ardis.

Sienna Mullan with Jude and Ella Smith. Emma Stone and Clark Chambers.

Mums and daughters Lisa and Sandra Flynn and Betty and Emma Brannigan. Freda and Michael Wightman, Michael Dunn and Seamus Trainor.

WELCOMING THE LOBSTER POT’S SISTER RESTAURANT – THE MARINER

The Mariner, which recently opened in summer is the sister restaurant of The Lobster Pot in Strangford. The Mariner is Newcastle’s newest bar and restaurant, with everything under one roof to make it the perfect night out, including live music in the downstairs bar, great food, quality service and stunning views from the fi rst fl oor restaurant. A Cabaret Club will also be opening in this exciting new venue in time for summer.

. Sarah Kilgore, Allan and Joy Kilgore, Kevin, Sharon and Zara Robson.

Joy and Allan Kilgore. Mariner restaurant staff Cian Dooley, Abbie Fitzpatrick, Treya Dorrian and Susan Hughes.

zzzz Matt and Jeanette Lyness.

Steven and Sarah Kilgore. Peter Lavery, Rory McNally and Scott McCormack. Searlain McCormack, Lorraine Lavery and Moyna McNally.

Evan and Heather Morton, Joanne MacDonald and Lisburn Chamber President Garry MacDonald.

. Alan, Denise and Gary Braithwaite.

Helen and Mark McCall, David and Kirsty Traynor.

Philip Dean, Pat Catney MLA and Thomas McMichael. Karen and Claudia Marshall.

LISBURN CHAMBER OF COMMERCE 60TH ANNIVERSARY

Lisburn Chamber of Commerce celebrated their 60th Anniversary at Down Royal racecourse recently. Guests included Sir Jeffrey Donaldson MP, and the Mayor of Lisburn & Castlereagh City Council, Alderman Stephen Martin. Denise Watson was MC for the evening and an enjoyable meal was provided by Craft Events. A charity raffl e was held with the sum of £1635 raised for the Northern Ireland Hospice.

Chamber President Garry MacDonald, Denise Watson, Sir Jeffrey Donaldson and Lisburn Mayor Alderman Stephen Martin.

zzzzJane and Norman Elliott.

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Cllr Hazel Legge and Alderman Amanda Grehan.

Ciara Brennan, Ellen Hillen and Carla Bowyer from Stepping Stones.

. Diane McGregor, Gillian Baxter, Emma Tate and Andrea Kennedy.

Nigel Jordan, Sonya Jones, Lisa and Alun Gorman. Sophie Faloon, Tanya Lyttle and Denise Braithwaite.

Zara Hughes and Vickie White.

zzzzLisburn Mayor Alderman Stephen Martin and

Lisburn Chamber President Garry MacDonald.

Chris and Jade Henry. William Leacock, James Stewart and Mark Byrne.

THE EMPIRE LAUGHS BACK COMEDY CLUB

Making a much welcome return to Belfast’s weekly entertainment fixture is the much loved comedy club which returned in October with a fantastic A-List line up, including The Chase’s, Paul Sinha. Following the recent NI Executive review of Covid regulations the venue owners and Moondog Productions have decided to reopen the doors and offer a much needed laugh to the people of Belfast as well as work for the many of the comedians who have found themselves unable to gig since lockdown was introduced. The Empire Laughs Back returns every Tuesday at 7.30pm. Tickets can be purchased at www.empirelaughsback.com

. James Hume and Tanith Jamison.

Comedians Paddy McDonnell and Andrew Ryan. Holly Millar and Jayme Hamilton.

zzzz Danielle Adair and Jay McGilton.

Maeve Armstrong and Michael Smart. Marie Claire McGovern and Sierra Mohamed.

Ann Meyer and Derville Pyper.

ST LOUIS 50TH REUNION OF CLASS OF 71

Past pupils from St Louis Grammar School, Ballymena, Class of ’71’ held a reunion at their old school recently. The former students received a warm welcome back by the acting principal Mrs J O’Neill, with tea and coffee hosted by The Friends of St Louis. The school’s senior music students’ string quartet and a pianist delighted the group with their exquisite playing before the group was guided around the school by current senior prefects.

Organising committee John O’Kane, Mary Merron, Geraldine Meeke, Jo-Ann O’Neill, Roisin Lynch and Sean McAleese.

Mary Merron, Roma Oakes, Maura Buckley, Liz Monaghan and Mary McKenna.

Sean McAleese and Jim Mulholland. Former pupils at St. Louis school.

Geraldine Meeke and Siobhan Martin. Deirdre Donaghy, Dolores O’Loan and Frances Whiffen.

125 YEARS

Belfast Born & Blended