Orange Blossoms to bury alexander in orange blossoms; stopping the cigarettes with a bulbous glass. a monotonous pendulum rolls in solace: brass roads and I am the governor of crossing beetles and checkered cement. The oldest leaves curl on their backs and become cradles for flecks of granite; the restless beds of water for wind. -Evan Ray Parks
So what have you been up to since the release of the Justus Bends EP? I recently released a solo Fried Man EP in August 2009 called Selected Songs To Get Fried To At 70/140 BPM, which is available digital only for now. I wanted to put out some dubstep songs, hence the 70/140 BPM reference in the album title. The album consists of trip-hop, reggae, dubstep and psychedelic-influenced tunes. What did you use to make the album? Mostly Logic Pro and a little bit of Reason. I do all of my composing/arranging/mixing in Logic. When possible I try to record vocals through better systems than my current setup. For example, the vocals for “Canadia” were recorded at home through Logic Pro, while the vocals to “Simple” were recorded at Pyramind Studios in San Francisco, California, using a Pro Tools HD rig and a pretty-damn expensive Neumann mic. I hate Pro Tools by the way... I shake my fist at Digidesign every time I pass their ugly-ass building in Daly City, California. Why all the hate on Pro Tools? It’s unnecessarily complicated and expensive. Compared to the cheaper alternatives: It’s a joke. How did you get DJ Mendoja on the album? We were classmates at Pyramind, and one day we were messing around in the studio—just freeystyling to my track “Herbacide.” I captured his freestyle and set his lyrics to the track. Then I took his a cappella and set it to this new tune I was working on called “Simple.” I thought it sounded much better and a surfer-dub sound emerged when I set his vocals to the tune. The song “Simple” was originally called “Herbacide Remix” for that reason. And how about “Trolls,” is that you on vocals or did you get a real troll? Some may say I look like a troll due to my size... But yeah, that’s the Fried Man boogying down with the trolls. That song came about as a result of listening to a lot of White Zombie and the dubstep artist 16 Bit. So what are you up to next? With two EPs already released this year, I’m gonna sit on my ass and produce more music when I find the fucking time to. I’m currently working two jobs to finance my music, which isn’t really working out
because I live in San Francisco where you have to work two jobs just to get by... So you’re basically into complaining a lot? Yeah, but besides complaining, I’ve recently been working with Vernon the Gardener (http:// www.myspace.com/vernonthegardener). He’s an artist from my neighborhood in San Francisco. He creates shovel-face art out of recycled shovels and other metals. He’s also been teaching me a lot about organic gardening and recycling. I have a pretty wicked dubstep tune coming out that was inspired by Vernon’s worm box. I even sampled Vernon talking; it’s pretty twisted... Look for that soon, along with a few more dubstep releases and a vinyl album totally inspired by my neighborhood in San Francisco. The vinyl album will feature surf, grunge, garage, punk rock and hiphop. I also just printed up some 11x17” Fried Man posters that are available through my new website: http://friedmanmusic.net. What do you think about UNDR RPBLC? I think they’re lame, only because they’ve chosen to work with and feature Fried Man. How cool can you be if you feature Fried Man...? Pshhh, not very.
1 Entertainment/SIQ Squad. That’s halfway done with seven tracks ready and about six or seven more to go—coming early 2010. And last but not least, I’ve got my newest mixtape, In My Mind What up Stro! How have you been? Vol.2, which is getting pressed as we speak. DJ Ogre of MixMafia Good man. You know me, busy as and the radio station Hot 94.1 laid usual. Busy is good. You’ve been rockin’ down some cuts and mixed that a lot of shows, how’s traveling and one for me. Honestly, he elevated my sound and took the project the concert life treating you? from a 5 out of 10, to a 10 out of It’s treating me really well. I’m 10. I also just wrapped up the still soaking it all in: different video for “Got 2 Let U Know.” cities, different people and We shot that in Santa Barbara, different crowds. It’s a whole California, with my boys, TLT different world once you leave Kicks. I’m happy to say that the home, you know. Plus it makes video came out well and really for great road-trip stories. helped bring the song to life. Like I What do you have in the works? said my mixtape In My Mind Vol.2 Wow, a little bit of everything... is done and being pressed now, Let’s see, aside from the shows I’ve been doing around California, which gives me time to start on I’ve got a compilation CD with the my next project, my LP. Damn! I knew you’d been busy... rock band My Town, the Brim Of The World sponsorship/skate DVD, When can we expect your new LP? Well, there’s no real date as of and a few other projects coming yet... You’ll hear people often say, up here soon. For example, I’m a “My LP needs to come out on part of the group SIQ Squad, and our LP Squad Business is out now. this month, this day or this hour.” I don’t feel that way. I mean, I’m That’s our second LP in the last already a couple of songs into it, two years—grinding. Earlier this so I figure I’ll just let it come to summer I was a part of another me so that it’s more natural than mixtape series with my dude Pezzy Montana called Gwap Boyz. rushed. If I were to make a prediction, I would have to say early We actually recorded eleven songs in, like, three days straight. March 2010, unless I get a spark of creativity and knock it out in a Then there’s Westside Connect month’s time. with E-Dubb outta the Midwest, Besides all the hard work, what’s that’s due to be out here any month now...whenever we feel like going to make you stand out in the hip-hop world? dropping it, so be sure to watch My sound and ability. Content and for that. Another mixtape series storytelling: from my out-of-thecalled The Movement, which is a box thoughts with harsh reality collab mixtape featuring the folsettings, to everyday life and lowing five solo artists from Cali: simple shit. I pride myself on my Xclusive of Grinding Daily, HR of HAWG Click, Yung Bravo and Yung motto, “To be unforgettable.” Hooch of Yung Life/SIQ Squad, and How do you feel about the current myself—Stromile of Unforgettable state of hip-hop?
Someone will takeover soon. What direction do you see hip-hop heading in the future? It depends... I mean, for me, I will always be Stromile. But for others, they tend to shift whatever way the fans are going. For example, there’s nothing wrong with skinny jeans and mohawks. I won’t do it, but since younger fans can identify with that, some artists want to be trendy and appealing—so they focus so much on that, they forget about the music. They have to remember, trends only last for so long. Let’s never forget that music’s supposed to set the trends, not follow them. Who or what are you current influences? The game itself. I’m very competitive. I love all different types of music, so I’d say that music’s also a huge influence on me. From a time when my grandma would play soul music every morning, to when my mom used to play 80s & 90s hits every Saturday when she would clean house, to hanging out with my boys listening to what we listen to, to trying to make our own songs on our cell phones, to being introduced to different people who listen to different types music (alternative, R&B, pop, etc.)...it all gave me an ear to what music really is... Oh yeah, the money is nice, too. Of all your songs, which is your favorite? It used to be “Got 2 Let U Know,” but now it’s “Somewhere IDK.” I just recently recorded it, and it’s got me stuck. Plus it was different, I’d never recorded a song like that before. What did it feel like the first time you heard yourself on a song? I didn’t think it was me. You know
how when you first hear yourself on a voicemail or on an answering machine and you ask yourself, “Do I sound like that?” Even now, I still trip out when different effects are on my voice. Any shout-outs? Yeah, to UNDR RPBLC, of course. Without you I’d just be talking to myself. [laughs] Brim of The World and TLT Kicks. My ni**as who’ll always be more than music: SIQ Squad, E-Dubb (Double or Nothing Entertainment), Yung Rich (Get Fresh Crew), Ill Rah Productions, J, Mikey, Mak Swizzle, HR, Xclusive, Yung Bravo, Yung Hooch, Flawless, KG, Frost (HPC), Q-Dezzy, Pac Nashun, J-Knoxx and the Valley Boyz, DLoc, Pezzy Montana, Mz. Haze, Fina, Meechy Belli and Ice Cold. To all my DJs: Ogre (Hot 94.1) Damage (Hot 94.1), Wreck (Hot 94.1), Editt (Beat Boyz), C-Dog (Star 106), P-Fresh, Ace, Ant Real and all the DJs in other cities spinnin’ my tracks. My Producers: Gencredible, J-Swagga, Kermy, Sorpranoe and some exclusive cats I keep in the cut. My city (Bako), my fam, my close friends and club owners. And to all those I didn’t list, don’t trip, I just didn’t have enough space to fit everyone... And if I did, it would take at least three issues just to cover the first half. I could never forget about all y’all; y’all made me who I am. Stay grinding till the job’s done, so they won’t forget and forever remain, “The Unforgettable 1”!
HOW TO BUST B&W HALFTONE IN PHOTOSHOP You’ve seen the t-shirts, flyers, advertisements, etc... Now it’s time to bust you very own black and white halftone effects up in this bee-aye-otch. It’s a fairly quick and easy process. You’ll need a couple things before you start, however. First off have a computer up and running with Adobe Photoshop. Then pick out your favorite pretty, little picture that would like to bust out on and open that joint up in Photoshop. Now it’s time to convert that bad boy to B&W. There’s a million ways to do this, so to save some time let’s just do the ol’ convert to grayscale (Image>Mode>Grayscale). Next tweak the contrast to your liking (Layer>New Adjustment Layer>Brightness/Contrast). This isn’t necessary, but it can make a big difference in the overall quality of your finished product. Sweet. You should now have a sharp looking B&W photograph ready to rock. All there’s left to do is convert it to that halftone effect we all love so much (Filter>Pixelate>Color Halftone). This should bring up the Color Halftone dialogue box. If you were to just click OK, the image would be converted to a color halftone, but that’s not the look that we would like today. So instead fill in the Channel boxes (1-4) with a zero replacing all previous numbers. Now, based on the size of the picture you’re converting, fill in the Max. Radius box with a number to your liking. This is going to adjust the radius size of the halftone’s circles affecting the detail and overall aesthetic of the image. So give it a couple tries until you get a finished product you enjoy... Word.
HOW TO MAKE A FREE ONLINE MAGAZINE It’s time to get to action! Let’s bust out your very own free online magazine. For starters have a computer equipped with Adobe CS4 and an Internet connection. Meow figure out the all super bad-ass content you can manage to cram inside those pages. You might want to start by interviewing someone you think’s cool or something lame like that. Gather all that stuff up and hunker down in front of your computer ‘cuz it’s time to get to work. First things first you’re going to wanna get the page layouts done. I typically use Photoshop to do this, but however you want to get down is fine by me. Then get everything in order, cover to cover. I simply name each page in numerical order to keep things simple. After you have all your pages together and in order, open up Adobe Acrobat and select all your pages for the mergin’ (Create>Combine Files into a Single PDF). Boom, bap, bip: Now you’ve got the PDF you need to create you first online magazine issue. Pretty simple so far, right? Next go to http://issuu.com and sign yourself up for a free account. Their registration process is fairly simple and shouldn’t take you too long. Now, while logged in, choose Upload Document and select your compiled PDF magazine for the uploadin’, break out a clever title and a couple sweet-ass tags, and you’re with it! Commit and click the Upload button, and after a li’l processing your magazine goes live. That’s it, that’s all it takes—Issuu takes care of the rest. So kids get your shit together and make a motherfuckin’ magazine...or else.
so much passion in. I knew I had to major in fashion design and learn more. I’ve found my passion in a career where I believe I can utilize my skills, my imagination, and push the boundaries of creation through new ideas and design. I wanted to do something where I could use my love for art and create new Who are you? I am Jade Lush, and I am a fashion ideas. I can now say that I am happy with what I do in life. designer. What is it about fashion design What led you in this direction? that you found so intriguing? As a teenager there was a time Fashion, just like art, allows one when I wondered where I would be and what I would be doing 5-10 to tell their story, express their feelings and, best yet, you can years down the road. Today I still don’t have all the answers to those walk around in it. Clothes aren’t just worn to cover our bodies. questions, but I do know what I’ll Fashion can also portray a be doing. In high school I noticed person’s appearance by speaking my passion for art. It wasn’t just of whom he or she is: whether it’s the lines, colors and shapes that a creative, smart, clean or dirty I saw in art...I saw art as a great way of allowing people to express look. In my eyes that was the true their thoughts and feelings freely, beauty of fashion, and what I definitely loved most about it. and without limitation. I believe Anyhow, just like art and fashion, there’s no right or wrong way I like to express myself by to portray art. Art, to me, simply wearing colors, shapes, cuts, tells a story without writing or etc. speaking a single word. It’s told quietly and simply by using colors, Where did you go to school? I attended Brooks College in shapes, lines, imagination, etc. Sunnyvale, California, and Yet it can have such a profound majored in fashion design. I found impact on people... The beauty in exactly what I thought I would: art is priceless. There were a lot fashion and art. And in 2007 I of stabs in the dark as to what I graduated with an associates wanted to do for a living. It didn’t come to me right away, and it took degree. What happened after you me a couple of years after high school before I finally came to the graduated? conclusion that I wanted to design I had a choice whether to continue with school for my for fashion. Besides art, this was bachelor’s degree or just find a the other area that I found myself job in the fashion industry. enjoying as much and saw great beauty in. In knowing how much I Considering that fashion design adore art and fashion, I just knew was about one’s own ability and I wanted to be a fashion designer. creativity, I was determined to learn more about designing, Fashion design fit well with the patternmaking and sewing on my two other subjects that I’d found
own to get more hands-on experience. I’d already learned what I needed to create a garment. Besides, I couldn’t afford to pursue school anymore, so I started looking for jobs in the fashion industry. In my mind I was set on becoming a fashion designer. However, things don’t always go according to plan. Finding a job in the fashion industry was, as I’d known from the beginning, very difficult. After months and months of applying for jobs throughout the fashion industry and not getting anything, I finally gave up and took on a full-time job in an office. It seemed like my dreams weren’t going to happen, and it felt like I was back at step one. Now knowing where my talents and passion truly lied, and what I wanted to be—regardless of not finding work in the field—I continued to design on my own as I worked my office job. It was a full-time job and left me little time to design, but with any free time I had, I sketched designs and sewed. Unfortunately, even after the completion of my designs, I wasn’t sure of the next steps I had to take. I knew I wanted to sell my designs, but I’d never done anything like this before, and everyone I knew didn’t know anything about the fashion industry. Thankfully, by the end of 2008, I’d gained more knowledge and experience, and also my first client. Around that same time, I met Jerry Yang (the 2007 World Series of Poker Champ), and he introduced me to the publisher of a Hmong magazine called Hmong Is You. Luckily I was asked to feature some of my designs and work. After that things started changing... So instead of looking
for a fashion job, I began designing for my own brand, Jade Lush Designs. With a better understanding of the fashion world and the business side of things, I was able to sell the clothes I’d created. In the summer of 2009, I participated in a fashion show in Minnesota called “Project Inspire 2,” which was a fundraiser for breast cancer. It was there that I debuted my collection, Lost Rainbow. Where are you currently in your career? Today I continue designing, selling and branding my talent out to the world—just as I’d wanted to from the beginning. The fashion industry is definitely competitive, but now I’ve come to find that I like the challenges. I will carry on fighting until I become a successful brand name designer. How would you describe your style of design? Well, as I continue to develop more skills in designing, I continue to gain interests in different types of styles. But when I create a new garment, it’s important to me that I design the piece to look sexy, attractive, modern and unique—and with my signature Jade Lush style. Where can we view more of your designs? For the moment I’m still working on creating my own website for Jade Lush Designs, but you can definitely view more of my work
at: http://modelmayhem.com/jadelushdesigns/. Are you selling any of the clothes you’ve made, and if so where can we find them? Yes, definitely! I’m selling some of the individually designed clothes I’ve made at: http://jadelushdesigns.etsy.com/. As I’ve mentioned I don’t have a website for Jade Lush Designs yet, but it’s in the works—you’ll just have to be patient and see. Let’s just say I’m aiming for summer 2010 to have my own website. Well, that’s if things work out according to plan, but I just won’t know until then. What are some of your future goals? I want to see Jade Lush Designs become a brand name. There are many people who know about Jade Lush Designs, but getting known on a worldwide scale would be amazing. Great. Can’t wait... So do you feel like you’ve achieved most of your goals? Well, my goals are never ending. As we continue to live and breathe, our minds constantly ask for more, so there will always be new goals along the way. It’s never ending. I’m proud to say that I’ve achieved some of my goals. There are still some that I’ve yet to achieve, but I will continue to succeed.
religion and graffiti’s illegal nature? Well, graffiti’s kind of a like a religion because it’s so widespread. I guess for most people religion’s a path to do what’s right, and some say practicing graffiti is wrong. I think there are many writers who are good people who What up Spain! How long have you follow many different religions: been writing? there’s KH, who writes God Says I’ve been writing since 1995. I Hi and is Jewish; and my homie started in Bushwick, Brooklyn, Trool22, who’s Muslim and bewith marker tagging, and then lieves in Allah. I don’t look at I moved up to spray-painting. I religion or politics too much… wrote Jesus Saves everywhere in I just know that my religion is Brooklyn, and I also hit up the Christ. other four boroughs. I did it all: What are your feelings towards walls, trucks, vans, billboards, other religions and the movement rooftops and tunnels. you’ve created? Word. Why graffiti? I can’t speak for other religions, Graffiti’s the best way to get the but I believe I was called to be an word out as it preaches for me evangelist, and I use my graffiti to 24/7. I was very inspired by graffiti spread the world of salvation for artists growing up. JA One was people to be saved. Not to judge everywhere, and through him I anyone. I don’t consider myself saw what it was like to choose a anything more than a simple sername and just write it everywhere. vant of the living Christ. Graffiti’s a powerful instrument So you’re strictly painting legal that reaches many eyes, and I just graffiti at this point? try to leave a message with it. Yes, but I have no choice. I once What message would you like to swore that I was never gonna stop convey through your graffiti? tagging every borough in NYC. I want New York City and the But because the law out here’s so world to know about the free gift strict, and the fact that I got arJesus offers called salvation. This rested seven times for tagging—I has nothing to do with church or couldn’t continue on that way. If I religion—it’s all about receiving get caught again, I could be facing the salvation of the lord. 1-3 years in prison. Right now Is legality an issue for you with NYC’s not playing, so I chose to go graffiti? legal and do pieces as long as I Not at all. Because of the lord, I have permission. I have too much can be in the graffiti game forevto lose. Of course, when I travel to er without worrying about going other parts of the world, I take adto jail. It allows me to travel the vantage of being away to tag a lot. world. Graffiti’s my passion, and a Legal graffiti in NYC...but massive love that allows me to represent tags overseas. my lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Have you ever had beef over Do you see any conflict between graffiti?
Nah, I have haters hating on me for no reason, and because of this (even without being street) an average “hallelujah church boy” like myself still has to handle beef by fighting just to get respect. At the same time, it can ruin my testimony. Fighting in the streets is something that God’s taken me away from, and I can’t afford to be stuck with my past and my youth. I’m a new man. Old things must pass. “And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new....” (Rev. 21:5a) Any good chase stories? I was in Fort Green projects (one of the most dangerous neighborhoods in Brooklyn) in the hallway of 25 Monument Walk catching tags: From the top of the 11th floor all the way down to the 1st. A door opened on the 9th as I was making my way down to the 8th; some guy was rolling dice with his friends and was like, “Yo, what are you doing?” And I was like, “Just tagging...” Then the others popped up behind him, and I heard one say, “Yo, let’s catch this dude.” I ran downstairs and so did they. I was hopping down steps as I made my way down to the 5th floor. I swung the door open because it closes very slowly, so I opened the door wide on the 5th and kept running downstairs. I stopped on the 4th to catch my breath as they came down to the 5th. I heard one of them say: “He went through here... The door is closing!” They all went through the door and ran to the other side of the hallway. So I went back upstairs to the 11th floor, crossed the roof and ended up in 24 Monument Walk (the two projects are connected). I took the elevator down and just walked out thinking, “Wow, this is crazy!”
These were just regular doods trying to sweat you? I think they took my tagging in the hallway as being disrespectful or as a violation. The tone of the guy’s voice was violent, and I wasn’t going to take a chance. Fort Green PJs are known to be one of the most dangerous projects. Yes, I’m loved in Fort Green; and yes, I’ve got peeps: I lived out there for a year and a half, but to most people I’m still a stranger and could even become a victim. Are you in any crews? Yes: MSD, SAH, WRS, GGK, STF, DBK, ATC, ITW, MOA, HSK, SNW, GOE, KSW and a couple more I can’t remember rn... Where do you see yourself going artistically in the future? I see myself going worldwide. I’m devoted and dedicated to graffiti and urban modern art. I’ve been traveling overseas lately to paint. Nobody sponsors me or flies me out there. I work like a slave out in Brooklyn. I sometimes do gallery shows where I hang my canvases and sell t-shirts. I take whatever money I make to travel and connect with graffiti artists overseas. No matter where in the world I go or how far away I fly, my future’s based on my graffiti art and in selling my t-shirts. It’s all for the love of graffiti, and for the love of spreading the gospel of Christ at the same time. I know tomorrow
may not be promised, but for now I’m just a dedicated artist doing what I love. Are you currently involved with any art shows? Not at the moment. I’ve done about five gallery shows a year out here in NYC, but for now I’m working on some tremendous canvases. Where would you like to travel to next? Right now I have plans to go to São Paolo, Brazil. I have a friend out there, she’s a graffiti artist who goes by Migna. I speak a little bit of Portuguese, so I shouldn’t have any problems. It’s a ten-hour flight, and I’m going for the love of graffiti. I’ll hopefully be doing a couple of walls out there. For the summer I’m going to do my best to return to Spain and continue to paint. If I have enough money, I want to go from Spain to Berlin and paint out there as well. It’s all according to the will of God. Any shout-outs? Shout-out to my lord and savior Jesus Christ. Thank you UNDR RPBLC for this opportunity. My moms, Willie, Kaste, Zoro, Rasko, Styles, JNY5, Dela, Meph, NYC Lase, Duro, Tracy, Paz, DL, Lips, Trool22, Wak, Deps, Pest, Jins, Nat, Tak, SST3 and Starlight Studios. And to anybody else I forgot: Thank you, and God bless you all.
Fashawn Boy Meets World
Sunshine Corp. Cheez-It
Atlas Sound Nintendo Wii Logos Dead Space Extraction
You know, I started out writing this review all professional and shit, but c’mon, let’s get real. Fashawn’s new album’s dope! He covers a wide range of subject matter and kills shit over Exile’s beats. On “Samsonite Man,” Fash boasts, “Now my rhymes took me further than I had imagined touring: Atlanta, Sicily, Manhattan.” Reminds me of a couple other big name rappers at twenty years old... On my favorite track, “Ecology,” Fash gets gritty spittin’: “Fuck peace. Ni**as is purchasing red beams, P-89s, Glocks, AR-15s. It gets so hot, cops don’t want to intervene.” That’s that good ole’ Fresno shit right there. But really, this album is thorough and the production is fresh, not to mention the numerous guest spots. In the future I’m looking forward to more, more, more from Fashawn.
So, here I am, sitting, trying to think of stuff to review for the MGZN, when it hits me— Cheez-Its are the shit! As a matter of fact, I’m grubbin’ some right now. I mean they’re good at any time of day or night. You can even leave the box open sometimes and they’ll maintain their terrific crunchy consistency and out-of-this-world flava. Sunshine Corp. gives you all the information you would ever need to know right on the box: contains 100% real cheese. Whew! I’m sure glad for that... That fake cheese really clogs me up, if you catch my drift. But back to the subject at hand, Cheez-Its are cheap, great tasting and long lasting. What the fuck else do you need in a snacker-cracker? Oh, and for you chubsters out there, they also offer a low-fat edition. Snack on!
Bradford Cox is back again as Atlas Sound and, in essence, sorta re-releasing his second solo effort Logos. Last year it seems Cox was a victim of hackers whom prematurely released his material. Now, thankfully, the official release is available. Atlas Sound does a terrific job of transcending musical boundaries with Bradford’s unique brand of hazy chamber-pop combined with whimsical folk-balladry. “The Light That Failed’s” jumbled underwater soundscape soothes the soul. Whereas “Walkabout” flexes fresh neo-bubblegum-pop matched with whirling vocals that bounce you back into reality. All said, Logos makes for an interesting avant-pop experience helping me to break away from the mundane. Let’s hope that Cox continues to experiment individually with Atlas Sound as Logos has left me wanting more.
Ahh yeah! It’s new video game time for me. This time I copped Dead Space Extraction for the Nintendo Wii. DSE boasts some of the best graphics I’ve seen for the Wii as of yet. The gameplay took some getting used to, though. In DSE your character is on rails, meaning that you don’t have control of your character’s motion besides shooting and aiming, which is just okay as far as I’m concerned. Other than that DSE proved itself to be very intense, and the storyline is fun to follow. Also the voice acting does a great job lending to the game’s dark aesthetic. And even though I have yet to beat the game, there’s definitely plenty of playback potential. So if I were you, I’d snatch this one up and get to gunning down some aliens and shit to help relieve some stress.
Paramore Brand New Eyes
Rockstar 32oz Energy Drink
Robertito’s California Burrito
Lionsgate King Of New York
This isn’t really my cup of tea, but Paramore is blowing up. But what else would you expect when combine some mediocre emo-pop-rock with a semi-hot gal as the lead singer. The banality of the subject matter is just right for the albums target market: teens. It’s almost as if the fine folks at record labels know how to market towards that teen angst we are all so fond of. Wait, they do... What concerns me more than the quality of Paramore’s new album is the quality of teens I’m seeing nowadays. It is just me or are the lot of these kids a bunch of little herbs? You’re still juveniles: Act like it. Okay, okay, back to Parabore... The album is pretty poppy and the recording quality is great. The lyrics are also very easy to understand, memorize and sing along to, repeatedly.
Holy shit! Drink you one of these and get in a fight (or at least an argument)—’cuz that’s what I did—seriously, no joke. I had this whole little plan to gurp a Rockstar 32oz Energy Drink and record how I felt over time as an article for this here MGZN, but that all went to shit. Instead I got in an argument with a lady-friend, a stomachache, a headache and all fuckin’ spazzed-out for about 3-4 hours. The guy at the Quik-E-Mart laughed at me for buying the motherfucka. Maybe I shoulda taken that gesture as a sign of things to come. You know, I had this idea once to go to a party and instead of drinking alcohol—I’d just fuck with a sixer or so of Red Bull and pick on drunks, but I’m pretty much over that now... Or am I?
Are you hungry? Well then, go get yourself a Robertito’s California Burrito, smart guy—‘cuz these mammajamma’s are on hit! By combining carne asada with some cheese, french fries, pico de gallo and a li’l bit of love all wrapped up in a flour tortilla, you’ve quite possibly got the best, cheap burrito ever. Just the way the flavors all meld together make this burrito the obvious late night food of champs & losers alike. And if you don’t happen to have a Robertito’s in whatever city or town you’re living in, don’t trip, ‘cuz I can almost guarantee you that your local Mexican food joint can hook it up. If they can’t, please explain to them that they are fuckin’ lame, and that don’t deserve your business anyhow. Over and out!
Alright, alright, alright, this is my shit right here. Christopher Walken is my dood for this one. In King Of New York, Christopher Walken stars as Frank White, a freshly released from prison, super-badass gangster/drug dealer. He’s highly connected in all the right places and ready to take his top spot back. You’ve also got Larry Fishburne (that’s right, Laurence Fishburne before he became Morpheus or whatevs) as Jimmy Jump, the double pistol wielding, cheesy-punchline-spittin’ maniac. This movie wastes no time getting to action as Frank White starts wiping out his competition immediately. Be sure to check out this one so you’ll finally know what the hell Biggie was talking about all those years ago. BTW this flick’s director, Abel Ferrara, also directed Ms. 45, Bad Lieutenant and New Rose Hotel among others—so now you know.