Special Report

Letting go of CONTROLLING behaviour

BY DIANA BUTLER

A tidbit of wisdom about how tapping into our power can help us let go of our controlling behaviour.

From my experience, we use control as a tool to validate that we are in the “right.” Generally speaking, we do so to keep us feeling safe, not just in our environment but also in our identity. By enacting structure and order we remove the threat of chaos and uncertainty. But is our way “the right way” or are we in a subconscious power struggle where our ego’s innate desire for safety and security, has waged war against the truth?

Perspective is reality. Reality becomes our truth. Our truth becomes our identity. Our identity becomes our ego. Our ego is protected through control.

So, in essence we use control to protect our ego, which then protects our identity, which has been crafted by a will to stay safe and therefore, the actions we take are determined by what we deem to be true, based upon the reality of our world, which is ultimately determined by our perception.

So, does that suggest that to alter our reality, we would need to change our perspective rather than control our environment? Have we been doing things wrong all this time? Have we been trying to control others and our environment to keep us feeling safe, a process that creates tension, fuels fights and wages war, when all we need to do is alter our personal perspective?

So, what is perspective?

We all operate on different energetic frequencies, experiences, education, knowledge, wisdom, and emotional intelligence.

How much of each “element” we tap into, ultimately determines how we perceive things. Therefore, multiple people can interpret the exact same event in many ways, each of us assigning a different personal truth to the same situation.

However, there is a difference between personal truth and universal truth. There are very few universal truths that exist in this world – so other than those truths, everything else, for the most part, is perspective.

Control becomes such a dominating player for everybody because when somebody has not chosen that same truth as us, we become very agitated because our identity is threatened. We choose to try to force others into our reality of truth.

But that’s very reactive and destructive. Few people know that we have the power to squash our natural response to defend our truth at all costs. It is when we actively choose to control our reactions rather than let them control us that we are met with greater ease and grace in our lives.

The good news is that it’s way easier to take control and change our perspective than it is to control others and/ or our environment. All you need to do is add or remove elements of perspective and you will have a different outcome. For example, operating from a frequency of trust versus distrust, will change the result. Perhaps a little Google research can shed some light to a situation, thus changing your perspective, or you may seek guidance from an expert who has achieved different results. In being open, and seeking out answers, you can alter your perspective, find security and do so which greater ease and grace.

Perspective is reality. Reality becomes our truth. Our truth becomes our identity. Our identity becomes our ego. Our ego is protected through control.

Another tool we can use to let go of control is to embrace compassion. When we can recognize that someone’s behaviour is based simply upon a different perspective than ours, not a hardcore truth, our ego does not need to feel so threatened. We can engage in dialogue and become more receptive to adopting other perspectives, moving forward towards positive changes, and working together, while giving and taking – not waging war in defense of our identities.

Can you imagine a world where we did not live in a constant battle for control, no tug of war between friends and family? No bickering and making others feel wrong so you can feel good about yourself? Living in that way is a powerful tool that offers life-altering results.

This is where the power of Gold really shines: in transforming your understanding of truth. Instead of dictating outcomes via control, you will be positioned to balance your life and improve relationships. You can stand in your power, knowing you can define your life, through personal change rather than forced control. It gives you peace knowing that with a little pivot or a tiny adjustment to perspective can have a lot more impact than the sledgehammer of control.